ROSIE BARRON IS THE TIDY COO

Rosie Barron is The Tidy Coo, a Professional Organiser. A Master KonMari Consultant and member of APDO (the Association of Professional Declutterers and Organisers). Rosie lives in Aberdeenshire with her husband, 4 Home Educated children, 11 ponies, 6 dogs, 3 cats, 4 bunnies, chickens, ducks and fish which all Spark Joy.

Tidying with children

Children learn by watching what we do ourselves.

I have any number of adults who come to me telling me that their children need help with decluttering and organising when the adults themselves are not yet tidy and organised! You must do your own journey first before expecting your children to do theirs.

The first thing to remember when working with children is that they often have very different priorities to us. When we may want a beautiful space full of delightful wooden toys, they are more focused on having time to play with the bit of plastic that arrived on the front of a magazine. Hold at the front of your mind, that you are trying to raise children who grow into adults who know what they want from this life. A child’s room, particularly as they get older, is their sanctuary, so try to give them as much autonomy over their space and the process as possible.

Obviously we need to set some boundaries, for example, I need my home to be clean enough that we don’t have vermin and that healthy conditions are maintained, and I don’t wish to have my nose assailed by teenage whiff whenever I go past their room, or whenever they go past me! To that end, the rules of the household are that food and plates much not be left in rooms, that dirty laundry should be placed in the wash (and that children should regularly place themselves in the shower), that rubbish should be placed in bins and bins emptied weekly, and that the rooms are tidy enough once a week for them to hoover and dust. Beyond that, I simply close the door on the situation…

However, my own children’s rooms are already decluttered and organised and relatively easy to return to a position where they can be easily tidied, so let’s talk about getting to that point.

As always, declutter first before trying to organise their rooms with them, or it will rapidly begin to descend back into chaos. If your child is above the age of about three, involve them as much as possible. My children are often pretty motivated by the thought of letting things go to people who need them, or by the prospect of selling some of their items. PreChristmas and prebirthdays are good times to do a declutter.

Declutter by category, help them to choose positively what to keep and thank the things as you let them go. If things are held communally, get one child to check them and then the other and stress that they are picking for themselves and that the others will get an equal chance. A really excellent tactic is, if possible, to remove everything from their room and get them to choose what they are going to put back into it.

If they choose to let go of something that you would rather keep, respect their decision and take the item into your own space instead. Recently I was a bit sad that my son wanted to get rid of a mug that he has had for years so it is currently living in my room whilst I pick up the courage to let it go.

Once you have decluttered, use labels to make it clear where things should live and use drawers as far as possible over boxes with lids (which will just end up with things balanced on top of them). Do not overcomplicate systems but keep categories broad to make things easy to put away.

Try to ensure that they have their own space to keep tidy. For example, my youngest child has excellent built-in wardrobes in her room and, having no loft, I need to use some of them for storage of suitcases and Christmas. However, I keep my things in one part and she has the other.

Whilst we may need to include the children in the process of deciding which of their items they are letting go of, I need to remind you that it is up to YOU what comes into your home. Remember that the fewer things you have, the easier it is to keep them tidy, and not just that, but the fewer toys children have, the easier it is for them to go into a state of play where they concentrate deeper and for longer. If you have generous relatives who want to give to your children, discuss giving things such as trips, or a contribution to a larger gift. For example, my mother recently gave my middle daughter tickets to see The Mouse Trap. Most people are pretty willing once you discuss the reasons behind it.

Finally, even once you have decluttered and organised the room with them, it may still become untidy. In my home, we have these six steps to follow when things get out of hand, and my children need differing amounts of help to get them done:

1. Make the bed

2. Pick up any dirty laundry and put it in the wash

3. Pick up any cups and dishes and take them to the kitchen

4. Put any rubbish in the bin

5. Fold clean laundry and put it away

6. Bring everything else to the centre of the room, sort it into categories and put it away.

(A much more in-depth guide to tidying with children can be found on my website.)