LOOK WHO’S BACK COLLECTED STUPIDITY Terrorist
Well some of my family and friends may be wondering where I have been over the past 11 months. It’s only now that I am in a position where I am able to tell the story. Prepare to be shocked. Eleven months ago, my partner Donna and I were taken hostage by a particularly nasty terrorist. You, like me, probably think you’re
pretty safe in our little neck of the wood. The only people who try to destroy us and ruin our lives are politicians. This terrorist has done more damage to my life than Mike Rann, Julia Gillard, Jay Weatherill and all the other oxygen thieves put together. It happened in the middle of the night and started what has been a terrifying time for both of us. The terrorist physically abused Donna on his arrival but thankfully largely left me alone to begin with. This didn’t last too long though. It didn’t take him long to
notice me and decide that he would enjoy slowly dismantling me as well. His methods are pretty typical of tyrants worldwide and he is particularly skilled at various torture methods. Sleep deprivation is one favourite. He takes great pleasure in waking us up multiple times each night. Obviously this has done little for our already fragile state of mind. I don’t want to get too graphic but another one of his favourite torture methods is the use
attack in Mount Gambier by Robbie Tansel of bodily fluids and bodily functions. He thinks nothing of soiling himself and then screaming until we deal with it for him. As if that’s not enough he’s also more than happy to vomit on whoever happens to be within range of the projectile he wishes to eject from his body. Again this then ends up somehow being our problem to deal with. When he first took over our house he used to sit in a corner and just occasionally scream when he wanted something from us but things have gotten even worse over the last few months. He now moves around the place wrecking anything that is left in his way. Again he has absolutely no conscience with what he destroys and actually often finds it extremely entertaining. He insists that we do absolutely everything for him and refuses to do even the most basic tasks for himself. Disturbingly Stockholm Syndrome
hit us fairly early on. I’m sure most of you already understand the Stockholm Syndrome which suggest that hostages (like Donna and I) start to identify, sympathise and empathise with their captor after a period of captivity. This was especially the case with Donna but I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t miss him if he left. Mind you there are times where I just want to stick him on the back lawn and lock the doors. He can actually turn the charm on when he wants. I kept family and friends informed of what was happening to us and I think they steered clear for a while fearing that he may hurt them too. Gradually people started getting brave and dropping by though and when we had visitors he’d put on all the charm in the world. Donna and I would think that maybe things were going to change but as soon as our guests were gone he was back to his same maniac self. People sometimes
remind us that our new son will grow up soon but I’m not prepared to guarantee that. Welcome to the world Shaquille Harry Isiah Tansel. I will get my
revenge when you are sixteen and want to sleep in on Sunday mornings.
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timber exhibition coming to a close Until April 27 Tall Timbers Exhibition MILLICENT VISITOR INFORMATION CENTRE, MILLICENT A staple of the Geltwood Festival, the Tall Timbers Exhibition is a long running wood sculpting and carving exhibition, showcasing the craftsmenship, as well as the natural beauty of one of this region’s greatest resources – wood. .