CBT Hakol November 2025

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Congregation B’nai Tikvah

www.bnaitikvah.org

HaKol: The Voice of CBT The JCC of North and South Brunswick

https://bnaitikvah.org/event/ ldor-vador-rick-recht/

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November 2025

www.bnaitikvah.org

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Hakol - The Voice Page 3

Hakol is the Hebrew word for The Voice, and while this publication is the voice of Congregation B’nai Tikvah, it is not intended to be only one-way.

Please consider submitting opinions, letters, articles, poems, and pictures to be considered for future publications. In the case of photos, please do not send low-res pictures or thumbnails. Articles are subject to proofreading changes.

Please submit all materials to Lesley Note: All material will be credited upon publication; anonymous submissions cannot be considered.

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Inside Cantor’s Corner

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Voices of the High Holy Days

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Rabbi’s Desk

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Presidents’ Podium

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Howard Hoffman

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Robbie Aufseeser

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Jessica Marcus

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Bonnie Stevens

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Advocacy & Navigation Partners Alexander Plumbing Heating & Air Conditioning AnaSen Health Arlen Law Firm (Melissa Kessler) Law Office of Robert Aufseeser Century 21 Charles Smith Agency (Scott Kessler) Cinnaholic Clinton Monument Co. Cross Country Paving & Masonry (Lawrence Benson) Fred & Murry’s Sergio Fuentes (Home Improvement Contractor) Indulge by Chari Martine, Katz, Scanlon & Schimmel (Diana Schimmel Avena) Mobility Memory Care of North Brunswick Mobility Family of Companies Morgan Stanley (Mark Sherman) Mount Sinai Memorial Chapels Praetorian Agency RE/MAX (Mark Jiorle)

Monroe Minyan

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Teacher Tidbits

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Men’s Club

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Sisterhood

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Know Our Advertisers

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Social Action

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Needy Families Program

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Tot Shabbat

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Birthdays

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November Calendar

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Member News

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Donations

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Schedule of Services

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Men’s Club Man of the Year

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Congregation B’nai Tikvah • 1001 Finnegans Lane • North Brunswick, NJ 08902 732.297.0696 • www.bnaitikvah.org

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Cantor’s Corner Cantor Bruce Rockman

Rick Recht is Coming to B’nai Tikvah-A Day to Celebrate!

We are going to have an incredible concert at B’nai Tikvah on November 9th. Rick Recht is awesome and he puts on a great show which engages and involves every person in the room. Every L’dor Vador concert has been special; we’ve enjoyed great performances, intense ruach-spirit, joy and AWESOME audiences. YOU are the key to the event. More than ever we need a shot of Jewish adrenaline, steroids for our souls.

I see it every year: we have huge crowds during the holidays and I’m thinking, it would be so remarkable if we had a crowd like this at B’nai Tikvah for L’dor Vador. People often ask me where I get my energy from at the end of the service on Yom Kippur. It’s YOU, your voices and your energy. It’s our spirit of optimism that everything is going to be all right because we are together!

As Rick Recht says of his inspiration as a Jewish performer, “From the beginning, my mission has always been to strengthen Jewish identity and engagement for Jewish youth, teens, and families. I see myself as a connector and elevator of community. My greatest goal is to identify, support, and train new Jewish artists, educators, and leaders who will provide inspiration and connection for generations to come.”

My goal for this concert is to fill B’nai Tikvah with you, our B’nai Tikvah families and our friends of all ages-Lots of people joyful and excited in a Jewish space filling their hearts and souls with the light of Judaism. The L’dor Vador concerts celebrate and remind us why we love being Jewish, why from generation to generation we have thrived more than survived and continue to bring innovation and blessing to the world.

I’m thankful to our sponsors, especially David & Cindy, their family and contributors to my Cantor’s Fund for making the L’dor Vador concerts possible. Most importantly, this is our opportunity to celebrate and give thanks in a most wonderful way.

Rick Recht is one of the most influential and celebrated Jewish artists and leaders of our time. His innovations in Jewish music, media, and leadership training have had a profound impact on the fabric of Jewish life.

www.bnaitikvah.org

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Cantor’s Corner (cont’d) Cantor Bruce Rockman

For the last 20 summers, Rick Recht has played at literally hundreds of URJ, Ramah, JCC and private camps around the country. He has been featured in concert and as scholar in residence at the NFTY, BBYO, and USY International conventions, the URJ Biennial, the American Conference of Cantors, the Central Conference of American Rabbis, and Jewish communities across the U.S. Rick has 13 top-selling Jewish albums including his most recent release, “Here I Am” which I love and you can hear with your favorite music provider, including Spotify, Apple and Amazon Music.

Yes, it will be so wonderful to celebrate together, family, friends and community on L’dor Vador day, November 9 at 4:00pm with an awesome concert by Rick Recht!

L’dor Vador-from Generation to Generation, a Source of Pride and Enlightenment.

Am Yisrael Chai - Let’s Celebrate with Joy! – Cantor Bruce Rockman

Click Here to Purchase Tickets

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Voices of the High Holy Days This special section includes the text of the Rosh Hashanah & Yom Kippur addresses and remarks by: Rabbi Robert Wolkoff Co-President Marty Abschutz Co-President Ruth Anne Koenick Howard Hoffman Robbie Aufseeser Jessica Marcus Bonnie Stevens There are also links to videos of our congregants’ remarks.

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Rabbi’s Desk Rabbi Robert Wolkoff

Amazing! Inspiring! Heartfelt! These are some of the glowing reactions I have heard to the testaments of four of our congregants—in order of appearance Howard Hoffman, Robbie Aufseeser, Jessica Marcus and Bonnie Stevens—about the significance of prayer in their lives. We owe all of them our sincere thanks. With great pleasure, we are reproducing their comments in this issue of Hakol.

Many people have asked me how I knew that their comments would be so meaningful. The answer can be found in the quote below by one of modern Judaism’s most influential thinkers, Micah Joseph Berdichevski (c.1920). He wrote: It is not you alone, or we, or those others who pray; all things pray, all things pour forth their souls. The heavens pray, the earth prays, every creature and every living thing prays. In all life, there is longing. Creation is itself but a longing, a kind of prayer to the Almighty. What are the clouds, the rising and the setting of the sun, the soft radiance of the moon, and the gentleness of the night? What are the flashes of the human mind and the storms of the human heart? They are all prayers— the outpouring of boundless longing for G-d.

So in answer to the question how I knew, I fully believe that after some serious consideration every single one of us could articulate something meaningful about prayer and its significance. What I honestly did not anticipate was how spectacular, often breathtaking, their comments would be. We were truly blessed to hear them.

So read them, and relish them. And ask yourselves the question—what would you have said, had I called on you to share your thoughts with the congregation on the High Holy Days? (Because in the future, I just might!!!)

-- Rabbi Robert L. Wolkoff

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Presidents’ Podium Co-Presidents Marty Abschutz & Ruth Anne Koenick

Marty Abschutz: Addressing Antisemitism in New Jersey Friends, On this sacred day, when we look inward and ask ourselves how to live with more honesty and purpose, I want to talk about something difficult, but very real: antisemitism in our own backyard.

For a long time, many of us felt that antisemitism was something from history books, or something that happened “elsewhere.” We were proud to live in New Jersey — a place with strong Jewish communities, vibrant synagogues, and neighbors who, for the most part, respect us. But over the past few years, we’ve been reminded — painfully — that antisemitism is not gone. Not here, not now.

You don’t have to look far for examples. We’ve seen swastikas scrawled on school desks. Jewish students harassed on campuses. Swatting calls disrupting synagogue services in towns not so different from ours.

Just last year, the FBI stopped what they described as a “credible threat” against New Jersey synagogues.

These are not distant problems — they are happening right here, to people like us.

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Ruth Anne Koenick: So, here I am providing my 10th and final Yom Kippur remarks and appeal. I knew I wanted to talk about my friend Lisa and about antisemitism. But how to pull those two somewhat diverse ideas together? As always, I thought about Danny’s advice that when in doubt, try scotch, but I was at the beach, and it was hot and I wanted something cold, so I poured some of my homemade limoncello. I am not a good sleeper. but I often think better in the middle of the night and this night my ideas began to pull together.

In 2000, my staff and I wrote a federal grant application and received our first Violence Against Women Act funding for a lot of money. We wanted to hire a Domestic Violence specialist. I called a colleague who was the Director of the County DV Agency, and she made a recommendation but told me if I hired that individual, her boss would cry. That individual applied and we knew right away, she was the right person. I called my colleague again and said…tell her boss to start crying. Lisa Smith became not only our colleague but our friend and teacher.

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Presidents’ Podium (continued from Page 9) Marty Abschutz

I’ll be honest: I find this both angering and heartbreaking. We shouldn’t have to wonder if our children will hear slurs at school, or whether attending services requires armed security. And yet, this is the world we live in today.

So, what do we do about it?

First, we take care of each other. Our congregation invests in security — cameras, locked doors, training, coordination with law enforcement — not because we want to, but because we have to. That takes resources, and it takes commitment.

But more importantly, we strengthen one another spiritually. Antisemitism thrives when it makes us shrink back, when it convinces us to be quiet about who we are. The best response — the most Jewish response — is the opposite: to stand prouder, to live fuller Jewish lives, and to show the next generation that being Jewish is something to celebrate, not something to hide.

That’s where you come in. Each time you show up here, each time you volunteer, each time you support this congregation with your time, your energy, or your generosity, you are making a statement. You’re saying: we will not let hate define us. We will keep teaching Torah, singing our songs, celebrating holidays, and raising our children to love being Jewish.

I know it can feel heavy to talk about antisemitism on a day like today. But Yom Kippur is about truth. It’s about acknowledging where we fall short, and also about finding the courage to move forward with strength.

Tonight, I ask you to do both. Acknowledge the reality — that antisemitism exists even here in New Jersey. And then commit — in whatever way you can — to helping our congregation remain strong, safe, and proud.

If we do that, together, we won’t just endure. We’ll thrive.

G’mar Chatimah Tovah. May we be sealed in the Book of Life, with courage and with hope.

Martin Abschutz (He/Him/His) Co-President Congregation B’nai Tikvah The Jewish Community Center of North and South Brunswick nb.cbt.president@gmail.com

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Presidents’ Podium (continued from Page 9) Ruth Anne Koenick Every year, she went to see her sister in Texas for Christmas. This year in January, I received a text from my friend Laura who was our assistant director. I could feel her tears in her text asking me to call her.

When I did, she told me that Lisa had passed away in her sleep. This wonderful smart, creative and skilled woman, 10 years younger than I am. I joined Laura with my tears.

A few months later, St Paul's Episcopal Church in Paterson, where Lisa was involved as a member, held a memorial service for her and the place was packed. Part way through the service, a friend told me to look up at the various objects hanging over the entrance to the pulpit…and it was a beautiful, large Jewish star hanging in the middle of all the objects. After the service ended, I went to the Deacon and asked him why there was a Jewish star hanging over the pulpit and he replied “Because that is where we all came from”. I was in shock and went back to the women I was sitting with to tell them.

Those words have given me so much to think about with the dramatic increase in antisemitic attacks, the October 7 horror, the two embassy workers murdered in DC, the recent murders on the bus in Jerusalem, the Syracuse students who threw pork at a wall into a Jewish Fraternity house on Rosh Hashanah, while not in the US, the reprehensible chanting of Argentina students on a bus trip “Today we burn Jews”, closer to home, the recent Israeli flag burning outside a synagogue in Tenafly, and hot off the press, 2 Killed in Car Ramming and Stabbing Outside U.K. Synagogue, just to name a few.

After Oct. 7, reports of antisemitism across the United States surged dramatically. This wave of intimidation affected all of us including a community center that was targeted by arson and vandalism, and, one historic synagogue in Philadelphia that was targeted 3 times in one day. Our own CBT survey said in response to the question of how safe do you feel when attending synagogue functions and prayer services, showed almost 80% feeling extremely safe and very safe, with the remaining 20% feeling moderately safe.

Since we all know that antisemitism has been around much longer than you and I have been here, what do some people do? When I am troubled about issues of being Jewish, or where I fit in or want to fit in, I often go back to the teachings of my father, my family and what I have learned over the years.

When Molly was in high school and the French classes had an opportunity to go to France right after the 1st Iraq war, I was deeply concerned about her safety as an American. I asked a friend who oversaw Study Abroad at Rutgers and is Jewish. He said tell her to watch her luggage and not wear anything that identified her as Jewish. I was appalled that to keep her safe, she should not do anything that showed she was Jewish. Several years later I was in Israel with two Social Work Faculty and after I went to shul on Shabbos, they asked if I wanted to go to Bethlehem. I said sure, but we were with a woman they knew and we were in Bethlehem. My colleague told me to hide my Hillary Clinton button that was in

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Presidents’ Podium (continued from preceding page ) Ruth Anne Koenick Hebrew and hide anything that identified me as Jewish. Again, I was appalled but worried about my safety especially when the woman driving the car said to me, with disgust…you’re Jewish aren’t you? and then told me the damage and horrible things the Jews had done even when we were able to stop her. After I got back to my hotel, I called Molly who had recently come back from Birthright and when she finished telling me how stupid I was to go to Bethlehem, how could I not know that I should never go to Bethlehem I understood that she was right.

I go back to that phenomenal Deacon who said…because that is where we all came from, and if only there was a group that was out there to say that in every synagogue, church, mosque, street corner, United Nations meeting and G-d only knows how they will vote again …in essence everywhere. I read things about how Israel is committing genocide in Gaza City, although I did not hear those words after what was done on October 7. I’ve been asked how I can wear a t-shirt that says I stand with Israel. But after a dear friend suggested the following to me as a way to talk with relatives and friends who were not sure about supporting Israel, Suppose I was sitting in my home in Israel on October 7 and we all ran into our safe room at the sound of sirens, but Hamas broke in anyway. That I was raped, my husband was murdered and then they took my children with them, wouldn’t I or you do anything to bring our children home? So why do I hear from Jews that they don’t support Israel? We must continue to support Israel to get all the hostages returned, even the ones they have murdered. Can you support Israel without agreeing with all the politics? I know I can.

When Paul told my father, of blessed memory, that we wanted to be married, even though he adored Paul, he put off his final approval until the following morning. He first called his sister, my Aunt Frances, who was a surrogate teenage mother to her three younger brothers when their mother died and their father and additional children were already in this country, and Aunt Frances said to my father …He is a good man and a learned man. Then my father called the Israeli Embassy, wanting to make sure that even though I married someone who is not Jewish, should the need arise, we could make Aliyah, and their answer was yes. My father, born in a shtetle in Russia and came to this country in 1920, always viewed Israel as a sanctuary, a place we would always be safe. A place where we belonged and he taught me to trust in that belief.

But what that brings me back to…that is where we all came from…and if we really feel safe in this building, even fairly safe, what can we do? The easy answer is pay our security fee…but is that all? I was in Israel on a Jewish National Fund Trip to celebrate Israel’s 75th anniversary. At one point many of us were standing near Gaza about as far away as we are now from Costco. While we certainly had a few IDF soldiers with us, I came home and told Paul that I felt safer there than I do in some parts of this country. That has certainly changed.

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Presidents’ Podium (continued from preceding page) Ruth Anne Koenick But the one place I feel totally safe, where I am, so many days of my life, is this synagogue. I am here with my village of women friends who take care of me during Neilah when the ark is open, so I don’t have to stand there alone and my male friends who have all become my family. I am here with the Torah and books that I know and are meaningful to me. I am here because there is really no place, except on the beach with my children and grandchildren, that I would rather be.

On the Shabbos before RH, I was in shul and started to read parts of the Seventh Haftorah of Consolation that Rabbi had pointed out. And these two thoughts struck a chord with me For the sake of Zion I will not be silent For the sake of Jerusalem, I will not be still.

I will never stop loving Israel and I will not be silent about being Jewish. I will not be still for the sake of Jerusalem. Never again will I hide my Jewishness, nor will I encourage others to do so. We all have to make our own decisions.

May the coming year be filled with peace and may you and your family be sealed in the book of life. Thank you.

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Congregant’s Perspective Howard Hoffman Hello. I am Howard Hoffman. Rabbi Wolkoff asked me to share some thoughts on what prayer means to me. I hope I understood the assignment.

One of my favorite prayer moments didn’t happen in a synagogue. It didn’t take place at home. One of my favorite prayer moments happened at an international resort where we’d gone for the sun and the beaches. It was Club Med in the Dominican Republic.

This was a year when Chanukah came very early, A few of us approached the staff and asked if we could use a room for a group Chanukah lighting ceremony.

Club Med was very accommodating. They not only provided a room - without any prompting from us, they prepared latkes and applesauce and pastries and other treats. They made us more than welcome. A celebration.

We had a problem, though. This resort had guests from all over the world. There were lots of Jews from the U.S. and Canada. There were Jews from Mexico and Brazil. There were a lot of Jews from France. A lot. Some from England. There were Dutch Jews from the Netherlands. There were Italian Jews. There was a couple from Georgia, the former Soviet republic. There was a group from Israel.

The room was like a tower of Babel. We had people speaking English and French. Some were speaking Spanish. And others Portuguese. There was Dutch and Hebrew and maybe some languages I didn’t even recognize. Strangers to one another, speaking all those languages, we couldn’t get organized. We struggled just to understand how to start – who would light the candles, who would lead the blessing. … Until we started. Then the prayer came. The prayer we had in common. One prayer for us all. A Hebrew blessing as ordinary as they come. And yet … it was perfect.

I am a contrarian. If you know me, my instinct is to question the status quo – to doubt the prevailing wisdom.

My contrarian instinct includes prayer. Why these words? Why this order? Why do we repeat the Amidah?

Not this one. Even a contrarian can admit when it works. At Club Med on Chanukah, with all those Jews and all those languages, the Chanukah blessing was perfect. It was perfect prayer I’ll always cherish. That prayer was perfect.

Thank you for letting me share my story. Shana Tovah.

To watch Howard conveying his perspective, please click here.

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Page 15 Congregant’s Perspective Robbie Aufseeser

In a noisy, anxious world, prayer helps us release control, re-center on G-d’s presence, and become more patient, grateful, and awake. Shana tova For those who don’t know me, my name is Robert Aufseeser. Robbie. I’m the husband of Liat, and the dad to three wonderful kids: Ilana, Daniella, and Nathan.

When Rabbi Wolkoff asked me to speak about my personal relationship with prayer, my first thought was “Why me”? I’m sure many of you have heard me kibitzing in the back at times when I should’ve been praying. What do I know about prayer?

Being a father of young children, during silent prayer I’m often just praying for my kids to be quiet and for Nathan not to climb on things. But even when those thoughts creep in, I remind myself of why I like to pray —and why I like to pray as part of this community. Prayer Helps Me Slow the World to a Manageable Pace.

Outside this room, the last few years have been heavy: the disjointedness of COVID, the trauma of October 7th, the angst of war, reports of hostages, the churn of TikTok and social‑media outrage, the rising antisemitism that the Rabbi spoke about yesterday, and a new kind of loneliness—All of it magnified by that 5-inch glowing rectangle now sitting in most of our pockets. The world often feels out of control.

That’s why prayer has never mattered more to me. I don’t just mean liturgical prayer—though it has a unique place in our tradition. I mean the act of praying as mindfulness: affirming the supremacy of G‑d, remembering our covenant, and shaking myself out of complacency. On this day it’s expressed in three words I try to keep close: Malchiyot Zichronot Shofrot Abraham Joshua Heschel wrote in 1945 that “prayer takes the mind out of the narrowness of selfinterest, and enables us to see the world in the mirror of the holy.” I’m not going to say I know what this means. For me, I feel that prayer is a way to break this endless negative feedback loop. When I’m focused it can take my mind from the narrowness of my anxieties. It’s an important 30-second time out to reset and refocus before those thoughts of daily life creep back in.

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To watch Robbie sharing his words, please click here.

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Page 16 Congregant’s Perspective (continued from preceding page) Robbie Aufseeser

Does my prayer allow me to see the world in the mirror of the holy?—who knows. I try not to set any goals or expectations for prayer. For me, I’m not trying to see anything. I’m praying to have an experience.

My kids like watching Bluey. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a TV show about a family of dogs navigating everyday life—so well written that I often enjoy it as much as they do. There’s an episode in season 3 where a sudden storm turns the sidewalk into a stream. Bluey starts building a tiny dam; her mom, worried about muddy floors, tries to shut it down. At first, she watches from inside, staying dry and in control. She struggles in vain to keep the muddy pawprints outside. Instead of holding on to that struggle, she eventually let’s go and joins her daughter outside in the pouring rain. She gets SOAKED but experiences a joy and a sense of calm with her daughter that was not otherwise possible.

That’s my model for prayer. In the silence of prayer I take a moment trying to stop managing the mess and instead stand in it with G-d. I’m not bracing for that next bit of bad news; I’m not checking the stock market on my phone; I’m trying to notice more and be present in the moment. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up; it means making room for new ways to experience the world. And sometimes we get SOAKED in the process. That’s okay.

Back to what I’m praying for today.

Malchiyot

Zichronot

Shofrot

During today’s Musaf service you might see me outside chasing a kid. Don’t judge! Even so, I’ll still be praying and asking these questions: Malchiyot — Who am I before G-d?

I stand. I breathe. I use this time to remember that I am more than my outlook calendar and my cluttered inbox. I’m more than just my worries. I’m a child of G-d. I enjoy some peace in the fact that many things are simply beyond my control and comprehension.

Zichronot — What do I want remembered?

Not only my missteps—but also my efforts. I think of the times I nearly lost patience but didn’t. The awful text I almost sent but then softened. I ask G-d to remember the best in me as I try to remember the best in myself.

Shofrot — What will wake me up this week?

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Congregant’s Perspective (continued from preceding page) Robbie Aufseeser

What will it take for me to put my phone away at dinner so my children see my face more than my screen.

The shofar blast is my calendar alert for the life I actually want.

I remind myself that I am not praying to change G-d; I’m praying to change myself.

Rabbi Schneur Zalman taught that words without kavanah are like a body without a soul—so even one honest sentence during prayer can make the entire experience meaningful. And if my kavanah includes counting how many seats are between Nathan and the nearest climbable object—that, too, is part of my conversation with G-d.

I bring my life as it is, and not as I might wish it were.

So here’s my prayer on this second day of Rosh Hashanah—Yom Teru’ah: Ribbono shel Olam, Master of the Universe—let this be a house where our children feel loved, our adults feel seen, and where our silence—however imperfect—strengthens our community. Give us patience, give us courage, give us a few moments in which we can be still. May our words rise with kavanah, and may our lives answer our prayers.

Shana tovah u’metukah—a good, sweet year to all of us.

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Page 18 Congregant’s Perspective Jessica Marcus

Good Yontif. I was asked if I could speak on the topic of davening. I did not think I had anything to say about davening, because it’s a relatively new thing for me. I’m neither well learned in Jewish theology or ritual. And for most of my life, davening was somewhat performative. I said the things, I looked the part, I peeked around and then sat down at a socially acceptable time after Amidah. But this was not always the case….

When I was younger, I thought Hashem communicated to me through the radio. Maybe it was the innocence of my age, although this went on way longer than I care to admit. Or the innocence of the time and place, the 90’s was such an optimistic period. But it made perfect sense to me that Hashem would use the easy listening channel in my mother’s Toyota Camry to communicate with me. If James Taylor was singing about ‘Showering the people you love with love,’ well maybe it was time to resolve some conflict with my sister. Or if Sinatra was imploring me to ‘do it my way,’ well, maybe stand my ground a little longer.

And it wasn’t limited to little decisions of small importance.

Hashem sent me lyrics about home sickness while away at camp, about handling difficult family issues, and he sent me songs to give me chizuk when school stress was bringing me down.

He was a real guiding presence. He sent me messages that I received and interpreted, all with no commentary from the old, bearded men who represented the Jewish theology of my youth. I somehow knew deep down I was worthy of the message, capable of independently interpreting the meaning, and trusting that nothing too terrible could happen with Hashem so accessible, just a song away.

And then life became suddenly dark and complicated. The easy decisions of childhood made way to difficult, more nuanced issues. The obvious, benevolent Hashem I had always sensed was suddenly, exactly at the moments I wanted messages, silent. My home life became unstable due to death and addiction. I slowly and painfully came to understand that I was gay, married to a man, torn between- do I leave my husband, my community, my town, jump into a new life that feels more accepting but also utterly foreign? Or stay in my marriage, find comfort in other areas of life, “bloom where you were planted” as I was advised.

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To watch Jessica deliver her thoughts, please click here.

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Congregant’s Perspective (continued from preceding page) Jessica Marcus

I believe it’s normal to go through a spiritual adolescence. To break down the simple faith of childhood and rebuild it with mature ideas of God, religion, and community. Unfortunately for me, the timing couldn’t have been worse. The childhood messages of Hashem were gone. Nothing was in its place, just judgment, discomfort and a sudden feeling of aloneness and chaos. And Hashem was silent. For well over a decade.

In the meantime, I built alternative communities and places to put my faith. Faith in new friends, a new career, a new relationship, and eventually a marriage built on honesty with someone who understood both my childhood innocence, adolescent skepticism, and deep down disappointment in the systems I felt had abandoned me.

But then, hope springs eternal. And from a period of stability and hope came…. our eldest child Benjamin.

The name Benjamin can mean ‘son of my right hand,’ ‘son of the south,’ but I’ve always preferred “son of my strength.” Benjamin was life, fresh air, a new generation. He was magical. I was a new mom in all my optimistic “look at this beautiful baby boy, look at his perfect cheeks. He is perfect, this world is perfect.”

Babies are a Hell of a drug.

And high on all this baby magic, we soon after had Benjamin’s firecracker of a sister Nomi, followed by our youngest Ari. Aryeh, a little lion that roared into the world 10 weeks too early, but fought like the lion we named him for, and his recovery seemed symbolic. The world makes sense, the world is fair, no G-d required.

But the baby magic started to fade, and the world of Jewish parenting started to become a very real, very difficult reality. The confidence I had when I was responsible solely for myself was washed over by the anxieties and pandemonium of parenthood. And if I thought the world was a judgmental and critical place to be as a gay woman, let me tell you about being a mom. The messages come fast and furious and are almost always contradictory.

The decisions, nonstop. Which schools, which camps, which shul, which extra curriculars? Retirement plans and college funds and a million needs and wants vying for attention. The basic tenants of suburban motherhood anxiety. I was already just hanging on. And then October 7th happened and the illusion that antisemitism and geopolitical chaos were not going to be a major factor in my children’s lives was shattered.

To further alienate my family, the world seemed split in two. One side hostile towards our identity as Jews and supporters of our homeland. The other side hostile against our identity as a two-mom family. Both sides vocal, both sides menacing. The number of people who could understand how threatening is feels to be a parent, a woman, a Jew and a lesbian at this very moment in time, well…. (continued on following page)

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Congregant’s Perspective (contiued from preceding page) Jessica Marcus

We have very few friends in this world. We have many, many enemies.

My children, right now completely unbeknownst to them, have enemies.

The anxiety, the grief, the guilt of bringing children into this world. It was, it is, overwhelming. And who could understand? Who could I talk to who would comprehend without a history lesson, without my autobiography, without judgment, without pretense or concern for mincing words or worrying about their feelings.

Who to talk to at such a time as this? Or as Megilla Esther says- for such a time as this…. For such a time as this, I needed to daven, I needed prayer.

And so, I stopped waiting to receive a message, stopped waiting to be contacted, to be moved by some external force.

I’m not a perfect parent, a perfect woman, a perfect Jew. My emunah is weak, my bitachon is flawed.

But I can talk.

And if I can talk, I can daven.

I can send the messages instead of waiting to receive them. I can send my anxiety, my anger, my loneliness. I can be totally silent and yet screaming in my head. I can accuse and grieve and be horribly angry, and then wonderfully thankful without seeming crazy. I can hold Hashem accountable for the world, while doubting their very existence. I can, and do, repeat over and over again, “I don’t understand, I don’t understand, Aveenu Malkanu I DON’T UNDERSTAND, what happened in Manchester today, I DON’T UNDERSTAND.” And I can be totally, absolutely meditative. Focusing only on the silence, on the lack of answers, until sometimes, something comes to mind. Sometimes a pasuk, sometimes a phrase, sometimes a comforting thought and sometimes…sometimes… it’s a song.

Thank you and Shana Tova.

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Page 21 Congregant’s Perspective Bonnie Stevens

What does prayer mean to me?

Prayer, for me, is like a conversation with a confidante, a mentor, a best friend. It’s not only about asking for something or offering thanks — it’s about sharing what’s truly in my heart. Like any dear friend, G-d listens. G-d hears my fears, my hopes, and my deepest wishes.

When I quiet the noise around me and turn inward, I find that G-d also speaks to me. That still, small voice within, points me back in the right direction onto my chosen path.

There are times when I feel overwhelmed—when the world feels too complex or too fast. In those moments, I stop, say the Shema, and turn to G-d. And in that simple act, I feel released from the panic and brought back to calm with renewed strength so I may continue forward on my journey.

Prayer reminds me that I am never alone. G-d is always with me. And if we choose to listen carefully, each of us can hear that gentle voice guiding us back in the direction we need to go — so that we may once again continue on our journey to discover and experience the magnificence of life.

G’mar Chatima Tova and Shana Tovah to you and your loved ones.

To watch Bonnie discuss prayer, please click here.

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MINYAN IN MONROE!!

We started a monthly evening minyan at Jewish Family Services in Monroe!

Services begin at 7:00 PM. JFS is located at 1600 Perrineville Road, Suite 26 (in the Stop & Shop Center).

This minyan DOES NOT take the place of the minyan at the synagogue.

We recognize that for some it is a far drive to get to North Brunswick from Monroe. It is our hope that a MONTHLY MINYAN ON THE 3RD TUESDAY OF EACH MONTH will help our Monroe members.

For those of you concerned that it is not the exact date of a yahrzeit, please, come say Kaddish in Monroe anyway!

Questions, concerns, comments?

Please contact Bobbi Binder through the office.

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Teacher Tidbits Ronit Bivas. Director of Education

A Season of Thankfulness and Community As we settle into the rhythm of the school year and the changing seasons, I find myself reflecting on the meaningful time we’ve shared as a community during the fall holidays. I’m especially thankful for the opportunities to connect with our students, their families, and members of our Temple community through worship, learning, and celebration.

Our Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur Tot Services were a wonderful way for me to get to know CBT families and their young children. Together, we sang holiday songs, listened to the sound of the shofar, marched joyfully with the Torah, and even “read” from it using the Yad. The children were captivated by stories about Rosh Hashanah, the prophet Jonah, and a touching tale about a bird who learned that saying “sorry” can be the hardest word of all.

Just before Sukkot, our Religious School held a special family program filled with creativity and learning. Students and their families explored the holidays of Sukkot and Simchat Torah in small groups, then came together to share what they learned through colorful posters and short presentations. The program also included time to make sukkah decorations; some to take home and others to help make our Temple’s sukkah a more beautiful, welcoming space.

I am so thankful for the time I’ve spent with our community during these meaningful days. These shared experiences which are rooted in tradition, learning, and joy help all of us grow Jewishly and deepen our sense of connection to each other and our community.

Wishing you and your loved ones a joyful and meaningful Thanksgiving!

L’Shalom, Ronit Bivas

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Men’s Club Upcoming Calendar Sunday, October 19th – “Raze the Roof” of our Sukkah. (8:30am start) Sunday, November 2nd – Men’s Club Membership meeting. (10am start after Minyan) Monday, Dec. 1st - Monday Night Football (NY Giants vs NE Patriots) BYOB and favorite lounge chair. Men’s Club will provide nosh items! Game time 8:15pm/Minyan at 7:30pm Sunday, December 7th – Annual NNJR Man and Youth of the Year celebration held at CBT. Starting at 1pm at CBT. See full page/poster for details.

Sunday, January 11th – Minyan, Meeting and breakfast.

Presentation by Barry Safeer – “Jews in Antarctica”. Along with Penguins, Whales, Seals, and more Penguins.

Raise the Roof – Men’s Club and CBT community building our new expanded Sukkah. (9/28 and 10/5)

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Men’s Club – Paid up membership dinner in the “Hut” (Thur. 10/9)

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Hakol Advertising Interested in advertising in our monthly Hakol? Know someone who might be? There are various options for advertising in our monthly newsletter, and by advertising in Hakol, your ad is also featured in our Thursday weekly announcements, as well as on our advertisers page of our website, and linked to your own business’ website.

For details, options, pricing, please contact the CBT Office at 732-297-0696.

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Sisterhood Corner

by Marci Abschutz, President

While a lot of what Sisterhood is about is publicly evident to CBT membership, many of the things we do are behind the scenes. For example, we run programs, distribute Purim baskets, and donate funds to help CBT. Sisterhood donates flowers on the Bima for Rosh Hashana. We helped fund the electronic sign at our front entrance. We are donating, with others, to fund the kitchen repairs that are needed.

One of the VP positions on our board is Israeli Affairs. We receive monthly reports of interesting programs regarding technological, medical or other advances being made in Israel. These reports are non-political and represent the best of what Israel strives for.

At each of our meetings, our Israeli Affairs VP shares interesting and innovative things happening in Israel. One such recent article about the world’s first attempt at implanting engineered spinal cord tissue in a paralyzed patient is from The Times of Israel and can be seen here.

From time to time we will bring these articles to you.

Marci Abschutz Sisterhood President

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ORDER YOUR 2026 MAH JONGG LEAGUE CARDS TODAY AND HELP SUPPORT SISTERHOOD!

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--------------------------------------------------------------------Order your Mah Jongg League cards now for you and your friends and be ready to play with your new 2026 cards by April. Orders will only be accepted by Sisterhood until January 5, 2026. Help Sisterhood have another successful Mah Jongg year of orders. Checks should be made payable to B’nai Tikvah Sisterhood and MUST be sent to: Lisa Seidman (732-236-0629) 397 Halsey Road North Brunswick, NJ 08902

STANDARD CARD: # of cards _____ X $14.00 = $________ LARGE PRINT CARD: # of cards _____ X $15.00 = $________ TOTAL AMOUNT $________ Name: ______________________________________ Address: ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ Phone #: (_____)________________________________ E-Mail: ______________________________________ (Please Provide Complete Info Requested Above)

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Get to Know Our Advertisers!

Lesley Lewkowicz, Executive Director

This month, we are featuring our very own Scott Kessler! Let me introduce you to the Scott Kessler you may not know about…Scott Kessler - Broker Associate / Owner - Century 21 Charles Smith Agency.

Prior to his career in real estate, Scott worked for AT&T Wireless for over a decade. While there, he held management positions in Customer Service, Information Technology, and Marketing. With AT&T he relocated around the country several times, living in Boston, Little Rock, Dallas, and Atlanta, before transferring back to New Jersey in 2002.

Scott realized that he wanted to stay near his family, and in 2006 he changed careers. Scott grew up in a real estate family. His father began his real estate career in the late 1960's, his uncle Mitch got his start after finishing college, and his brother Todd did the same. In 2007, Scott became a co-owner of Century 21 Charles Smith Agency along with his Dad, brother & uncle, and they are all still partners in the business today. Scott went on to receive his Brokers license in 2009. In addition to his management responsibilities in the office, Scott continues to work with buyers and sellers throughout Central NJ, assisting them with all aspects of their purchase or sale.

Scott is married to Melissa and they have a beautiful, smart and sassy daughter, Jocelyn (Jos). We are all so lucky that they’ve chosen to make CBT their spiritual home. They’ve both committed so much of their heart and life to B’nai Tikvah, working hard to create a warm and welcoming environment for everyone who walks through our doors.

On a personal note, I honestly can’t think of anyone who cares more, or works harder, every single day, to ensure the future of our wonderful synagogue, than Scott. He’s there — day in and day out — not because he seeks credit, but because he truly loves this community and believes in its future. I’ve seen how much he gives of himself, always with humility and care.

To me, he’s the true definition of a mensch — devoted and humble, and someone we’re all incredibly fortunate to have.

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Social Action Happenings Thank you to those who donated to the Jodi Wexler Marcou Social Action Fund last month. Your generosity helped us care for our fellow members in need.

CHAVERIM (60plus) 12-2 PM at CBT- SAVE THE DATES! November 18: Lisa Bayer returns with Using Your Wits! BRAIN HEALTH AND MUSIC December 23: TBA January 27 TBA To volunteer to serve lunch on any of these dates, or to learn more, email Laura at socialaction@bnaitikvah.org.

Thanks to volunteers Shelly Wistreich, and Shelly Talmud for serving lunch, to Steve Chernela for his photography, and Dot Cohen for her flower arranging. I apologize if I omitted anyone.

Thanks to Carol Eisenberg and Jay Scheuer for delivering our food pantry donations to JFS. – Laura Waksman

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IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR…HELP A NEEDY FAMILY PROGRAM 2025

It is difficult to believe that it is already time to plan and organize our 2025 Community Needy Family Program. This will be our 24th year helping families in need with clothing, household items and basic necessities. Last year, we were able to help 18 families including one from B’nai Tikvah!

For those who are new to our B’nai Tikvah family, these needy families are selected by a school social worker in New Brunswick. She has worked with us since the program’s inception.

As we continue to live in a “new normal”, we will continue to run a hybrid program. For those of you who are comfortable in shopping, you can do so; for those who are not comfortable, financial donations will be greatly appreciated and used to purchase gift cards or needed items.

If you would like to participate, please email me at jbbd11@verizon.net and let me know in which of the following capacities: financial donation or purchasing of gifts.

Monetary donations can be made in the following ways: https://bnaitikvah.org/donations/needyfamily or Send a check to the synagogue office, made out to B'nai Tikvah-indicate Needy Family Program in memo.

Purchase gifts for: Sponsoring a family-(@ 5 gifts per family member) Sponsoring an adult and child Sponsoring one person Purchasing one or more gifts for a family Any form of participation will be greatly appreciated.

For additional information, please email me at Jbbd11@verizon.net .

Thanks so much!

Janice Baer

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PICKLEBALL

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Congregation B’nai Tikvah is Central NJ’s premier egalitarian Conservative synagogue.

Our Congregation warmly welcomes Jewish and interfaith families, couples, same sex couples, and singles into our highly diverse community.

Please see our schedule of services and join us!

For more information, please go to www.bnaitikvah.org or call the office at 732.297.0696.

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November Calendar 1st – JCFS - 11am – 12pm 1st – Tot Shabbat – 11am – 12pm 2nd – Religious School – 9am – 12pm 2nd – Men’s Club Monthly Program & Meeting – 9am 2nd – JWLT Sundays with Stacey 10am 2nd – WAM – Princeton Walking Tour 2nd – Virtual Travel Tours – Jewish Istanbul – 1pm 3rd – CBT Board Meeting – 8pm 5th – Rabbi Lunch & Learn – 12 – 1:30pm 5th - No Religious School 8th – Shabbat Lunch & Learn 9th – No Religious School 9th – L’Dor V’Dor Concert with Rick Recht - 4pm 9th – John Kenrick Series – Fiddler on the Roof – 8:30pm 10th – Sisterhood Board Meeting – 8pm 12th - Rabbi Lunch & Learn – 12 – 1:30pm 12th – Religious School – 4:30 – 6:30pm 12th – USY Volunteer Event – Offsite 13th – Rabbi Wolkoff’s Monroe Lecture 13th – Jewish Scholar Series – Abraham Cahan and the Rise of the American Yiddish Press - 8:30pm

16th – Religious School – 9am – 12pm 16th – Sisterhood Paid-Up Membership Brunch – 10am 17th - JNF-USA Stories of Resilience and Renewal – 7:30pm 18th – Chaverim – 12 – 2pm 18th – Monthly Minyan in Monroe – 7pm 19th - Rabbi Lunch & Learn – 12 – 1:30pm 19th - Religious School – 4:30 – 6:30pm 21st – Birthday Shabbat – 7:30pm 22nd - JCFS - 11am – 12pm 22nd – Shabbat Lunch & Sing 23rd – Religious School – 9am – 12pm 23rd – Rabbi Wolkoff’s Sunday Morning Brunch 23rd – The Shtetl Series – The Once Jewish Towns of Eastern Europe, 1pm 23rd – Interfaith Thanksgiving Program 26th – No Rabbi Lunch & Learn 26th – No Religious School 27th & 28th – Office Closed for Thanksgiving Holiday

EXPERT ADVICE

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Member News Member News The congregation extends deepest condolences to: Amy and Mitchell Schreck on the passing of Amy’s father, Eugene Rautenberg Laura and Howard Waksman on the passing of Laura’s father, Martin S. Bernstein

The congregation extends a hearty Mazel Tov to: Marcie & Steven Kfare, on the engagement of their son Phillip, to Haley Meyers. Haley is the daughter of Deborah and Tom McConnell, Todd and Kim Meyers and granddaughter of Estelle and Richard Weintraub.

The congregation warmly welcomes our new members: Crystal & Marquis Henwood and their daughter, Ashira.

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‫ְוָע ׂשּו ִל י ִמ ְק ָּד ׁש ְוָׁש ַכְנִּת י ְּב ֹתוָכם‬ “Let them make me a sanctuary, that I may dwell in their midst”

Congregation B’nai Tikvah gratefully acknowledges the following donations: DONATIONS RECEIVED SEPTEMBER 15TH THROUGH OCTOBER 14TH, 2025

Rabbi’s Discretionary Fund Phyllis Rich, in memory of her beloved mother, Sadie Bernstein Phyllis Rich, in memory of her beloved sister, Dorothy Schneier Andrew & Lauren Cohen, in memory of Andrew’s beloved father, Howard Cohen Harriet Cohen, in memory of Barbara Oxfeld’s beloved daughter, Gail Kanef Mindy & Marty Angstreich, in memory of Mindy’s beloved father, Stephen Coopersmith Harriet Cohen, in loving memory of the Brown Family’s husband, father, and grandfather, Bernie

EXPERT ADVICE

Cantor’s Special Fund Toby & Gary Ehrlich, Mazel Tov to Adrienne and Andy Ross on the birth of their grandson, Isaac Ross Weiss Andrew & Lauren Cohen, in memory of Andrew’s beloved father, Howard Cohen Caren & Barry Dworkin, in appreciation to Cantor Rockman for bringing dinner and prayer books as Caren recovers Irwin Kalet, in memory of his beloved wife, Sharon Kalet Lisa & Jeff Tannenbaum, Mazel Tov to Cantor Rockman on his 25 years of service at B’nai Tikvah Gary & Toby Ehrlich, in memory of Gary’s beloved mother, Ruth Ehrlich Mindy & Marty Angstreich, in memory of Mindy’s beloved father, Stephen Coopersmith General Fund Herb Mars, in memory of Barbra London’s beloved husband, Bruce Linda Fellen & Ben Gottesman, Mazel Tov to Adrienne and Andy Ross on the birth of their grandson, Isaac Ross Weiss

(continued)

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Yahrzeit and Tzedakah Fund Shelly & Ken Wistreich, in memory of Shelly’s mother, Rita Streicher Beverly Heller, in memory of her beloved brother, Larry Arens Andrea, Steve, Matthew, and Melissa Katz, in memory of Andrea’s beloved father, Martin Sklar Sherry Levitt, in memory of her beloved mother, Arlene Levitt Sherry Levitt, in memory of her beloved uncle, Harold Novick Sherry Levitt, in memory of her beloved grandmother, Miriam Novick Sherry Levitt, in memory of her beloved grandmother, Ida Levitt Myra Dickert, in memory of her beloved mother-in-law, Sylvia Dickert Arlene Bacher, in memory of her beloved brother, Joel Forster Peter Kuker, in memory of his beloved father, Joseph Kuker Marvin Stark, in memory of his beloved mother-in-law, Leah Golden Stephen Breitkopf, in memory of his beloved mother, Beatrice Breitkopf Wendy & Ira Heisler, in memory of Wendy’s beloved mother, Beatrice Breitkopf Isaac & Beverly Grodzinski, in memory of Isaac’s beloved father, Shmuel Grodzinski Allan, Fern, & Marc Katronetsky, and Ilana and Yonaton Yares, in memory of Allan’s beloved father, Irving Katronetsky Irwin Kalet, in memory of his beloved wife, Sharon Kalet Dennis & Norlyn Kessler, in memory of Dennis’ beloved mother, Anne Kessler Aleksandr & Lilya Shablya, in memory of Aleksandr’s beloved mother, Faina Shablya Leslie & Steven Dickert, in memory of Steven’s beloved father, Howard Caren & Barry Dworkin, in memory of Caren’s beloved grandfather, Jack Azaria

EXPERT ADVICE

Allen Karp Fund for Music Allan, Fern, & Marc Katronetsky, and Ilana and Yonaton Yares, in memory of Allan’s beloved mother, Roslyn Katronetsky Melissa Fisch, in memory of her beloved grandfather, Sam Kivor Arnie Miller Youth Activity Fund Fern & Allan Katronetsky, in memory of Fern’s dear friend, Beverly Lebowitz Susan Miller, Mazel Tov to Adrienne and Andy Ross on the birth of their grandson, Isaac Ross Weiss Susan Miller, in memory of her beloved husband, Arnie Miller Susan Miller, in loving memory of Gussie Miller Elisa & Brian Berness, in memory of Elisa’s beloved father, Arnold Miller

(continued)

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Shabbat Luncheon Fund Jill Stone, Mazel Tov to Adrienne and Andy Ross on the birth of their grandson, Isaac Ross Weiss Cheryl & Myron Asnis, in memory of Cheryl’s beloved father, Joel Kaplan Marcia & Gary Wesalo, Mazel Tov to Adrienne and Andy Ross on the birth of their grandson, Isaac Ross Weiss Phyllis & Allen Pinsky, Mazel Tov to Adrienne and Andy Ross on the birth of their grandson, Isaac Ross Weiss Ben Gottesman & Linda Fellen, in memory of Ben’s beloved father, Jerome Gottesman Gail Levine Reinholtz, in memory of her beloved mother, Vera Levine Lisa & Jeff Tannenbaum, Mazel Tov to Adrienne and Andy Ross on the birth of their grandson, Isaac Ross Weiss Alan & Gaye Feinberg, in loving memory of Minna Feinberg Marci & Marty Abschutz, Mazel Tov to Adrienne and Andy Ross on the birth of their grandson, Isaac Ross Weiss Joyce & Joel Gerbman, Mazel Tov to Lynn & Arthur Biderman on Matthew’s Aufruf and Matthew and Genia’s wedding Natasha Rosenbaum, Mazel Tov to Laura Waksman for being called to the Torah on Simchat Torah as a Kalat Hatorah Natasha Rosenbaum, Mazel Tov to Janis Hoffman for being called to the Torah on Simchat Torah as a Kalat B’reshit

EXPERT ADVICE

Jodi Wexler Marcou Social Action Fund Amy & Clifford Smith, Mazel Tov to Adrienne and Andy Ross on the birth of their grandson, Isaac Ross Weiss Renee & Steven Levin, in memory of Renee’s beloved step-father, Robert Starr Steve, Andrea, Matthew, and Melissa Katz, in memory of Steve’s beloved father, Frank Katz Helen & Gary Tinkel, Mazel Tov to Adrienne and Andy Ross on the birth of their grandson, Isaac Ross Weiss

(continued)

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Religious School Fund Allan, Fern, and Marc Katronetsky, in memory of Allan’s beloved sister, Norma Katronetsky Morris Shames Ritual Fund Helene & Gary Tinkel, in memory of Helene’s grandfather, Joseph Finkel Ann Gold, in honor of Barry Safeer’s endless dedication to fundraising Ruth Ann Breitler Bikur Cholim Fund Linda Fellen & Ben Gottesman, in memory of Linda’s beloved mother, Sandra Fellen Bonnie & Woody Stevens, in appreciation of B’nai Tikvah’s Rosh Hashanah dinner Caren & Barry Dworkin, in appreciation to Gene Wilk for bringing food as Caren recovers Shomrei Tikvah Fund Fern & Allan Katronetsky, Mazel Tov to Adrienne and Andy Ross on the birth of their grandson, Isaac Ross Weiss

EXPERT ADVICE

L’dor Vador Fund David & Cindy Teicher, in memory of David’s beloved father, Irving Teicher

Please Note: It is never the intention of the office to leave out someone’s donation from the Hakol listings. If your donation was inadvertently left out, please contact the office and we will include it in the next Hakol. Thank you.

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PLEASE USE THE FORM BELOW OR DONATE ONLINE AT WWW.BNAITIKVAH.ORG

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Daily Schedule of Prayer Services Please join us in-person if you can. All services are also available via Stream and Zoom (password needed; please contact the office for more info).

Sunday 9:00 AM & 7:30 PM Monday 7:30 PM Tuesday 7:30 PM Wednesday 7:30 PM Thursday 8:00 AM & 7:30 PM Friday - Kabbalat Shabbat 7:00 PM Shabbat 9:30 AM

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EXPERT ADVICE

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