IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS
Session 7: Integrity: Character Dimension 6‐ “Oriented Toward Transcendence”
Character always wins…
SESSION 7 OBJECTIVES: • To understand what it means to fully develop the trait of being “oriented toward transcendence” and how it relates to integrity. (THINK it) • To think critically about and discuss the idea that there are things in life that we will need to adjust to, rather than demand that they adjust to us as discussed in Chapter 12 of “Integrity” by Dr. Henry Cloud. (MEAN it ) • To honestly consider how we view those things in life that are larger than us. (SHOW it) WHAT and SO WHAT?
Chapter 12: “When You’re Small, You’re Bigger”” Key Ideas: o To live and flourish, we must bow to the things larger than us. (Consider the story of the US Navy warship and the lighthouse!) (pg. 239-242) o A lot of leaders live as if they are the center of the universe and that everything and everyone exist to serve them and their purposes. o The opposite of self-centeredness can be described in a lot of different ways. One way is to think of it as the quality of “transcendence”. o Transcendence: getting beyond human ordinary human selfishness and self-centeredness and recognizing that life does not revolve around me. (Gasp!) o The greatest people are the ones who have not sought greatness, but served greatly the causes, values, and missions that were much bigger than them. And by joining and serving those, we see greatness emerge. (pg. 243)
For discussion: What do you think are the natural barriers to selflessness? Who do you know (whether public or private) that exemplifies a life that has not given way to ego despite tremendous success? o o
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The things that are “bigger”: (pg. 244- 249) Our values guide our behavior – and timeless, universal values are like lighthouses. They do not get out of the way, and the person or organization ultimately crashes upon their reality. Examples of “universal values”: love, compassion, justice, freedom, honesty, faithfulness, responsibility… Tremendous havoc ensues when individuals allow their egocentricity to dominate. They do not consider how stockholders, employees, business partners, values and accepted ethics, longstanding accounting principles, governments, people’s retirements, the trust of the nation, and the economy itself are effected. Laws fill in the gap police the failure of character. They are the backup system. But laws can never do what the integrity of values can do. “The companies that live out their values will win in the long run.” - Built to Last; Jim Collins
For discussion: As you consider your leadership role in TMSi, where do you see your opportunity to model integrity – especially when you consider some of the ‘”universal values” - to those you work with? Where has it been modeled for you – even when it was difficult?
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS
“The big things, not ourselves, are the things that make us big.” ‐Dr. H. Cloud
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Awareness – the difference between knowing that bigger things exist and are worth living for and simply living to fulfill personal hungers, desires, and passions. (pg. 249-251) We become aware through various methods: 1. Hitting a personal “bottom” and experiencing consequences. 2. Being inspired by someone who themselves models this character trait. 3. Reaching the end of themselves after achieving success: realizing that there must be more. 4. Someone significant pushes them to a life that is no longer “all about me”. “But the people who truly emerge from themselves do that by getting out of themselves and investing themselves in things larger. For some that is a faith, for others a cause or service, a mission, just values that cause them to pour themselves out to others in greater and more diverse ways. As they do, they are enlarged. Look around your office and see the ones who give time and effort to a cause, versus the ones who can only look at their portfolio numbers over and over. Whom do you want to be?” (pg. 251)
For discussion: Do you agree or disagree with the author’s assertion on the possible origins of “transcendence”? Why or why not? o
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Getting there… the path to transformation (pg. 251-254) We must do more than just say we care about something… we need to put it into action. All internalized growth requires structure (remember chapter 11!) and people who develop this kind of transformation and sustain it do it with a structured approach, at least at the beginning. A new “addictive cycle” begins to develop; not to seeking more and more for oneself and never being satisfied, but to giving more and more of oneself and becoming more satisfied than one thought possible. People who have never thought of things bigger than themselves “get the bug” from submitting to a structure (a company give-back day, for example) and go from there to developing a more values-driven life.
For discussion: Have you ever experienced an opportunity to “make a difference” that impacted you personally? What are some areas you think TMSi could be a part of with your facility? What kind of impact do you think it would have on your team and associates? o o o
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The Tylenol Lesson (pg. 254-257) “How can we protect the people?” True transcendence occurs when we bow to those bigger things when no one is making you or no one is watching you. In the end, the makers of Tylenol won. Big Time. The public trusted them and remained loyal and the business world applauded them as a model of trustworthiness and leadership. What creates this? Because when you do the right thing, it is usually going to cost you and you are going to lose something. The heart must be involved in order for us to be willing to sacrifice. We have to care about it first. Self-Denial (pg. 256-257) Self-denial is always about loss. It is the willingness to lose something that truly matters to us for the service of
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IMPACTING LIVES ● DEVELOPING LEADERS
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something bigger. Valuing the right things is the first step, making choices that cost us to serve them is next. But the end of self-interest is the beginning of the greater self.
o For discussion: As you read about the Tylenol example give by the author, what were your impressions of that decision? Do you know of any other examples of deep values being walked out despite a very high cost – even if short-term? Do you think it’s possible for TMSi to become the kind of organization whose values fully drive our business decisions? Why or why not? o
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Making the Shift (pg. 257-259) The immature character asks life to meet his demands. But the mature character meets the demands of life. We will need to make the shift in our practices to meet the demand of our values. The values don’t shift, we do. When reality calls, the integrated character changes whatever it takes to meet that demand. As stated earlier, no one can pick your values for you. It is a personal choice that only we can make. But no matter what the values are, the character must be able and willing to bend in deference to them.
“A person with integrated character is a person who possesses the awareness that it is not all about him or her, and the ability and willingness to make the necessary adjustments to the things that transcend him or her at any given juncture. If people do that, then their wake in both their tasks and relationships is going to be bigger and better for everyone concerned. When the crucibles of testing come, in their work life, their marriage, their personal lives, or for the organization they lead, they will be able to meet the demands of reality because they are in touch with reality. IT IS NOT JUST ABOUT THEM.” (PG. 259) NOW WHAT? As you consider your personal journey in growing into a leader who makes a difference, what is your strongest take-away from this chapter?
For next session: Read chapter 13: Conclusion: “Where Did It Go?”
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