Editor’s Perspective
THE
DE V IL
W ENT DOWN TO
Mark Vaughn, CGCS Virginia Turfgrass Journal Editor
SOUTHSIDE … THE DEVIL WENT DOWN TO SOUTHSIDE… He was lookin’ for some grass to kill. He was in a bind ‘cause he was way behind; He was willin’ to make a deal.
A sly grin creased ‘ol Red’s face As the summer began real slow. A little DryJect, a little Trimmitt… This Penncross will think it’s in Ohio.
When he came across this redhead Ridin’ a sprayer on a day real hot The DEVIL slid up on the passenger seat And said “Boy, let me tell you what…
Then spoonfeed, Cascade, Check them off the list. A little Heritage, some Dac Action, THIS is a summer of bliss.
I bet you didn’t know it, But I’m a turfhead just like you. And since you have no hair and your skin is fair, I’ll make a bet with you,
(Guitar, piano, fiddle solos)
Now, you grow pretty good poa, son And your crabgrass ain’t bad either. But summer’s comin’, and I got a feelin’ It’ll melt the pearls off June Cleaver.” The boy said, “The name is Red, And yes my hair is thin, But I’ll take your bet ‘cause my turf ain’t wet And my green kyllinga’s comin’ in.” “Red, you put your potash down And vertidrain your greens, ‘Cause hell’s comin’ down in Southside And your boss is pretty mean And if you win, you’ve got a job ‘Til July of ‘18 But if you lose, Your paycheck’s lookin’ lean… (Fiddle solo) 12 | VIRGINIA TURFGRASS JOURNAL July/August 2017 www.vaturf.org
With Red still smiling, the DEVIL said, “So you think the battle’s won? Well, just sit down by your weather station And let me ruin all your fun.” Fire in the root zone, run rot run. Penncross cooking in the midday sun. Afternoon rain, now the bathtubs’ full. 37 years of the same @#$* bull! (Fiddle solo) Ol’ stubborn bowed his head But wouldn’t concede defeat Moss is a pretty good surface, And it stimps about 8 feet. DEVIL said, “Red I’ll see you next August. I’m sure you’ll try again. You grass boys are gluttons for punishment. Don’t you know you’ll never win?”
And he said, “Fire in the root zone, run rot run……”