RS - May 2017

realsimple LIFE MADE EASIER

20+ SECRETS TO AGELESS SKIN AND HAIR

the makeover issue FRE SHEN + FIX + REINVENT

PRET T Y UPDATES TO YOUR HOME & YARD

+ GET WORK D ONE IN RECORD TIME

+ FINALLY ORGANIZE YOUR HANDBAG

MAY 2017

WOMEN COME IN ALL SHAPES AND SIZES—SO OUR STYLES DO, TOO. SHOP PETITES AND EXTENDED SIZES AT SELECT BOUTIQUES AND CHICOS.COM.

Together, In Style Mothers, daughters, sisters, friends… the women that we know shape our lives.

Their spirit, humor, wisdom and support enable us to be the women that we are.

So here’s to all the fabulous women we know.

We design everything for you.

Thanks for being our kind of chic.

Out here, pressures melt with the frost.

Feel free to live at a pace that matches The soft swaying trees and crisp air.

You’ll find it’s easy to reach new levels of peace.

Get the guide at Co olorrado o.co om

“What if you just did it your own way? No rules, no right or wrong, just what you think is beautiful?”

A RT I ST A N D AU T H O R S A N D R A M AG S A M E N , L I V I N G A RT F U L LY

GALLERY STOCK

Photograph by Frank Schott

MAY 2017

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REALSIMPLE.COM

Fashioned for flash, from gilded glints to major metals.

Dare to go nude.

NEW

PALETTE

#24KNUDES

When I dare to go nude, it’s pure gold.

Maybelline.com Emily is wearing New The 24K Nudes Palette. ©2017 Maybelline LLC.

M

AKEOVERS CAN CONJURE UP images of megaprojects—dust-covered rooms, tarp-covered floors—but some of my favorite makeovers have been the small ones. There was the closet reorganization that shaved a blessed 10 minutes off my morning routine; the brass light fixture that brightened the vibe of the whole living room (and replaced the one we inherited that looked like a boob). Even doing a mini makeover of my cosmetics bag every few weeks (when did that eye shadow spill everywhere?!) is happy-making.

The value in the renovation lies less in the scale than in the satisfaction that comes from committing to the quality of your life.

Still, it’s work. Before taking the leap on a makeover, I ask myself a few questions.

Will this makeover improve my quality of life? New linens, for instance, may make me likely to climb into bed earlier and get more sleep.

Does the joy it will bring me exceed the expense? My husband spent a lot of money on a sound bar for our TV, and it resulted in our having one remote control instead of three—nirvana!

Will the time the makeover takes be less than the time it saves me over the course of a month? The formula: time saved x 31 days > makeover time.

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER

Even if I answer every question with a yes, there’s still the struggle of what to do. Sometimes I’ve called in a third party, whether a designer or a close friend with great taste, to help me. Other times my husband and I have wandered through Lowe’s, Ikea, or Bed Bath & Beyond like retail tourists until inspiration strikes.

This Mother’s Day, the Real Simple staff decided to use our makeover enthusiasm to create a more pleasing and functional space for a deserving woman with three kids, a busy job, and some challenges. It’s rewarding to help someone else’s makeover become a reality, too. I hope you find inspiration in these pages.

Are other people I live with on board?

Unforgettable is the time I rearranged all the furniture the first year of our marriage to “surprise” my husband. Results: arguing; his bruised shins.

@LYAZEL

AND INSTAGRAM @LESLIEYAZEL

NEED A TREAT? Get 25 percent off your entire purchase and enjoy free shipping through May 21 at Chico’s boutiques, outlets, and chicos.com (excludes Chico’s Clearance Closets) using code 21103. I snapped up this pretty scarf!

Do I have a more meaningful reason for this makeover than just to keep up with the Joneses? Those tricky Joneses.

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P O R T R A I T BY R O B H O WA R D ; FA S H I O N S T Y L I N G BY A LY S S A D I N E E N ; H A I R BY M AT T H E W M O N Z O N FO R J E D R O O T; M A K E U P BY K AT I E J A N E H U G H E S ; S C A R F P H O T O G R A P H C O U R T E S Y O F C H I C O ’ S

Is overhauling this area or routine going to make me a little happier each day? For example, organizing the kitchen pantry so all the morning coffee items are together.

The wrinkle cream that raised the jar.

New Rapid Wrinkle Repair

®

Rich, luxurious and clinically proven to reduce wrinkles faster than any other retinol product.

It’s the most powerful Accelerated Retinol SA formula ever. You’ll see healthier, younger-looking skin in one short week.

Wrinkles, your time is up.

Find out more at neutrogena.com/retinol See what’s possible.

© J&JCI 2017

L OV E

Treat your mother to hand-Únished sterling silver jewelry.

pandora.net

Snake Chain Bracelet System (U.S. Pat. No. 7,007,507) • © 2017 Pandora Jewelry, LLC • All rights reserved

05. 2017

ON THE COVER The makeover issue: freshen + fix + reinvent 128 Pretty updates to your home and yard 55 Get work done in record time 115 Finally organize your handbag 69

Cover Photograph by

Alpha Smoot Prop Styling by

Angharad Bailey

BE AUT Y BU YS YO U ’LL LOVE .................... 26

On the cover: Benjamin Moore paint in Sparkling Sun 2020-30, from $40 per gallon; benjaminmoore.com for info.

VIBR ANT HAIR COLOR ....................................... 152

MAY 2017

SURPRISING OLIVE OIL RECIPES ............... 24

B R E A K FA S T S F O R A S U N D AY M O R N I N G . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 4 4

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Realist

PAGE 32

HOW TO WIN AT BURGERS

ARE YOU DESTINED TO

A layer-by-layer guide to perfecting the American classic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 5

LOOK LIKE YOUR MOTHER?

Read the signs . . . . . . . . . 4 9 THE PRETTIEST HOUSE ON THE BLOCK

THINGS COOKS KNOW . . 3 6

Curb-appeal pro tips . . .

NOW WHAT?!?

THOUGHTS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 EDITOR’S NOTE . . . . . . . . . . 6 REAL SIMPLE 24/7 . . . . . . 1 2 YOUR WORDS

If you could add an extra day to the week, how would you spend it? . . . 1 5

Smart solutions for life’s little disasters . . . . . . . . . 4 2 ROAD TEST

TREND TO TRY

Florals

DRUGSTORE INSIDER

Stylist Kristin Ess picks the best hair-care items on the shelves . . . . . . . . . 4 6

................. 70

SPORTY SPICE

Comfy-chic shoes for summer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Food 73

Relating 5 WAYS TO MAKE CONVER18

KEEP THE OLD

BIG BATCH

DANCING WITH MY FATHER

The pesto you’ll use with everything . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 7 5

Pet problems, solved . . .

DOCTOR

Beauty buys to simplify your life . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 6

Do you really need that test? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

DELEGATE TO GET THINGS

ROAD TEST

DONE

Mouthwatering jams . 1 7 6

Less stress, more success . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

115

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL ASK BUCKY

92

Our HR pro tackles your workplace dilemmas 1 2 1

WHEN TO QUESTION YOUR PRETTY SMART

122

MODERN MANNERS

HOW THEY DO IT

Bubble Wrap

Photographing strangers, opinionated relatives, and other etiquette issues 103

Five VIPs on balancing work and home life . . . 1 2 4

LITTLE HELPERS

Clever products that make every day better

A word with that pencil skirt . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 8 0

LOOKING FORWARD

Smart tax-refund uses

95

NEW USES FOR… .......... 30

171

How to maintain a social life after having kids . . 1 0 7

THE VETS WILL SEE YOU NOW

Olive oil . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 4

WHY NOT TRY…?

Lemongrass . . . . . . . . . .

SATION WITH KIDS . . . . . . 83

21

THE STAPLE

5 EASY DINNERS . . . . . . . 1 6 1

MAKE NEW FRIENDS BUT

In ballet class, Michal Lemberger reconnects with the man she lost too soon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 6

What We Love Everything our editors are buzzing about this month . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

ORGANIZE THIS

When your handbag gets out of hand . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 9

Acne fighters . . . . . . . . . . 4 5

THE SHORT LIST

Get lost in a great new book . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

55

AHHH . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 2 7

32

Features INSIDE THE DREAMIEST ROOM REFRESH

We gave one well-deserving mom the bedroom makeover she craved . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 2 8 IN THE SWIM

Yes, everyone can rock a bikini! Find the cutest twopiece suits for your shape here . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

136

BETTER THAN THE BAKERY

PAGE 26

Breakfast breads and pastries you never thought you could make yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

144

DID YOU DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT?

Get ready to turn heads with these subtle hair-color tweaks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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REAL SIMPLE® (ISSN 1528-1701) IS PUBLISHED MONTHLY BY TIME INC. PRINCIPAL OFFICE: 225 LIBERTY STREET, NEW YORK, NY 10281. PERIODICALS POSTAGE PAID AT NEW YORK, NY, AND ADDITIONAL MAILING OFFICES. POSTMASTER: SEND ALL UAA TO CFS (SEE DMM 507.1.5.2); NON-POSTAL AND MILITARY FACILITIES: SEND ADDRESS CORRECTIONS TO REAL SIMPLE MAGAZINE, P.O. BOX 62120, TAMPA, FL 33662-2120. CANADA POST PUBLICATIONS MAIL AGREEMENT NO. 40110178. RETURN UNDELIVERABLE CANADA ADDRESSES TO: POSTAL STN. A, P.O. BOX 4015, TORONTO, ON M5W 2T2. GST#888381621RT0001. SUBSCRIBERS: IF THE POSTAL SERVICE ALERTS US THAT YOUR MAGAZINE IS UNDELIVERABLE, WE HAVE NO FURTHER OBLIGATION UNLESS WE RECEIVE A CORRECTED ADDRESS WITHIN TWO YEARS. U.S. SUBSCRIPTIONS: $28.95 FOR ONE YEAR. YOUR BANK MAY PROVIDE UPDATES TO THE CARD INFORMATION WE HAVE ON FILE. YOU MAY OPT OUT OF THIS SERVICE AT ANY TIME. MAILING LIST: WE MAKE A PORTION OF OUR MAILING LIST AVAILABLE TO REPUTABLE FIRMS. CUSTOMER SERVICE AND SUBSCRIPTIONS: FOR 24/7 SERVICE, PLEASE USE OUR WEBSITE, REALSIMPLE.COM/CUSTOMERSERVICE. YOU CAN ALSO CALL 1-800-881-1172 OR WRITE TO REAL SIMPLE AT P.O. BOX 62120, TAMPA, FL 33662-2120. © 2017 TIME INC. FOR INTERNATIONAL LICENSING AND SYNDICATION REQUESTS, PLEASE VISIT HTTP://WWW.TIMEINC.COM/SYNDICATION OR CALL 1-212-522-5868. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. REPRODUCTION IN WHOLE OR IN PART WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION IS PROHIBITED. REAL SIMPLE® IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK OF TIME INC. VOLUME 18, ISSUE 5. PRINTED IN THE U.S.A.

MAY 2017

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Real Simple 24/7 FOLLOW US ONLINE FOR E XCLUSIVE IDE A S, TIP S, AND WAYS TO MAKE LIFE E A SIER—E VERY DAY.

OFFICE PLANTS NEED GREENERY THAT C A N W I T H S TA N D L O W L I G H T A N D A RC T I C AC ? S O M E 1 9 K P EO P L E H AV E S AV E D T H I S P I N O N P I N T E R E ST !

F O L LO W U S FO R M O R E GA R D E N I N G A DV I C E A N D I N S P I R AT I O N .

E A SY D E SS E RT S Guests will be even more impressed when they learn you made the cheesecake in a slow cooker (no oven required!).

Find more at realsimple .com/slowcookercakes.

PUT TING ON A DUVE T COVER C AN GE T TRICKY. WATCH OUR SMART HACK; IT’S BEEN VIEWED AB OUT 14M TIME S ON FACEB O OK. SEE IT AT RE AL SIMPLE .COM / DUVE T.

FIND A GIFT

MEET

LAURA SCHOCKER DIGITAL DIRECTOR AT REAL SIMPLE

Favorite podcast: I love Dear Sugar.

Tech you’d bring to a deserted island: My phone. Does the island have Wi-Fi? One thing technology can’t replace: Handwritten notes.

FIND MORE @L SCHO CKER ON INSTAGR AM

MAY 2017

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With Mother’s Day around the corner, you can message us on Facebook to get thoughtful ideas.

P I N T E R E ST @REAL SIMPLE

T WIT TER @REAL SIMPLE

FAC E B O O K @REAL SIMPLE

S N A P C H AT @ R E A L S I M P L E M AG

I N STAG R A M @RE AL_SIMPLE

C LO C KW I S E F R O M T O P L E F T: P H O T O G R A P H C O U R T E S Y O F T H E S I L L ; P H O T O G R A P H BY V I C T O R P R O TA S I O, FO O D S T Y L I N G BY T O R I E C O X, P R O P S T Y L I N G BY C L A I R E S P O L L E N ; P H O T O G R A P H C O U R T E S Y O F L A U R A S C H O C K E R ; P H O T O G R A P H C O U R T E S Y O F R E A L S I M P L E .C O M

YO U WO N’ T K I L L

OOHS AND AHHS YEARS GUARANTEED DAYS STAINING OR SEALING %

AZEK.com/BestDecks

SMARTER THAN WOOD

There’s more than one reason why people who know choose AZEK Building Products. Incredible styles, gorgeous colors, low-maintenance and industry-leading warranties for guaranteed durability. Ask for the best decks. Ask for AZEK® or TimberTech®.

ENGINEERED TO LAST BEAUTIFULLY.

Q. If you could add an extra day to the week, how would you spend it?

A. I would add a second Sunday midweek.

It would consist of sleeping in, having coffee, doing the crossword, reading a good book, and then ending the day with a really great dinner. What better way to spend the day than to keep it simple and peaceful?

THOMAS MORTON, Long Branch, New Jersey

Crafting.

Calm creativity is what helps me through the storm that is my life right now.

Giving back. I’d spend the extra day pouring time into my community.

KATHY GALL AGHER, Deltona, Florida

@MRSBMACKEN

Playing board games.

WHETHER IT’S SCRABBLE, SCATTERGORIES, SETTLERS OF CATAN, OR THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS MONOPOLY (ONE RECENT GAME LASTED SEVEN HOURS!), OUR FAMILY IS NEVER CLOSER THAN WHEN WE’RE SITTING AT THE DINING ROOM TABLE PLAYING A BELOVED GAME. ALENA BERENBL AT T, Babylon, New York

SLEEPING!

It’s funny how when you’re a kid, you never want naps, and in college you can easily pull an all-nighter.

But once you get older, oh how you love rest and a good night’s sleep.

JENNI ROMERO, San Leandro, California

Sign me up! It should be between Wednesday and Thursday. Let’s call it “To-do day” and tackle appointments, cleaning, errands, etc. That way I can save my weekend for rest, worship, and fun.

JENNY ROBINSON GOLDSBY, Hixson, Tennessee

MAY 2017

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#WOMENIRL

@CINDYLIEBEL

says this shot was taken as she worked on rings for her jewelry company.

Share your real moments with us on Instagram with the hashtag #womenIRL.

Raising three daughters and working, I didn’t have time to stop and take note of how truly amazing the toddler mind is. I can almost hear the nerve synapses popping, and I just can’t get enough of watching him learn and grow.

I’d call this day Monday because, let’s be honest, it’s a day that needs rehabilitating.

CHRISTIAN ROTHWELL, Garner, North Carolina

I would cook new recipes, find a bike path to work, or check out a different grocery store. That way I wouldn’t be afraid to do new things during the rest of the week, when my schedule is so tight!

L AUREN GENTRY, Claremont, California

Organizing magazine articles.

I have so many piles of things I’ve cut out that need to be sorted and filed. The same for printed recipes.

I’d like to convert them all to a digital system.

YO U R W O R D S

AVRIL ADELMAN, University City, Missouri

#WOMENIRL

@MAMATOGA

shared this snap with the caption “Coffee: because sometimes your children decide to play a rowdy game of Hungry Hungry Hippos during breakfast.”

The women behind the Instagram accounts featured here will receive this Real Simple Mother’s Day bouquet.

Get 20 percent off any flower bouquet at 1800flowers.com/realsimple until June 30, 2017, with the code RSYW20.

Doing something outside, in nature.

Fresh air, no phone, no mail delivery. It’s my favorite way to spend an extra day. Being in touch with nature frees your soul and your mind, and there’s no better cure for whatever ails you than sunshine.

Even outdoor rainy days can be beautiful and restorative if you’re dressed properly.

JET WIDICK, Boca Raton, Florida

I’d spend the day on personalgrowth work (which often gets pushed off) to expand my business. @PHIL AORGANIZER

My favorite things.

LOUNGING, WATCHING NETFLIX, OR TAKING OUR DOGS FOR LONG WALKS WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY ABOUT ALL THE OTHER THINGS I “SHOULD” BE DOING. SAM ADY, North Platte, Nebraska

UPCOMING QUESTION

What’s the kindest thing a stranger has ever done for you?

Go to realsimple.com/ yourwords and let us know your answer to this question. Your response could appear on these pages.

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F LO W E R P H O T O G R A P H C O U R T E S Y O F V E N D O R

I’d spend my extra day with my 2-year-old grandson.

It’s where life’s magical moments unfold right in front of you.

It’s home.

Find your way home.

Search millions of homes for sale and for rent. ©2017 Zillow Group. All rights reserved.

The Short List FIVE B O OK S THAT WO N’ T D ISAPP O INT

Gripping whodunit

Written by

Liz Loerke Photograph by

Stephen McGinn

Gorgeous debut

Mental-health memoir Wall Street Journal reporter Andrea Petersen was 20 years old when she was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder (in fact, she showed symptoms of four).

In On Edge, she traces her family history and explores the latest research to best understand the origin of her panic attacks—and how to build a happy life in spite of them.

After living in a string of foster homes, Ginny Moon, an autistic teenager, has finally found her forever parents. And yet she can’t stop thinking about the “baby doll” she left behind with her abusive birth mother.

That fixation ultimately sets her off on a harrowing mission to find her cherished doll. In Ginny Moon, Benjamin Ludwig captures the singular voice of his heroine, a brilliant girl you won’t soon forget.

Fun escape In Melodie Winawer’s The Scribe of Siena, neurosurgeon Beatrice Trovato finds herself mysteriously transported to 14th-century Italy.

There she uncovers a plot to destroy the city of Siena. With the Black Plague on its way to ravage Europe, will she make it out in time?

And does she want to? After all, she’s fallen in love with medieval life—and a handsome painter.

Like Outlander with an Italian accent.

SHELF HELP

For more book recommendations, visit realsimple.com/ books.

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S E T D E S I G N BY M A R I E-YA N M O R VA N

Great for book club At the start of Lisa Ko’s The Leavers, Deming Guo’s mother, an undocumented Chinese immigrant, goes to her job at a nail salon as usual but never comes back. Two white college professors then adopt Deming and rename him Daniel, but he never forgets his former life. Poignant and timely, this novel is ripe for discussion.

Paula Hawkins returns with another psychological thriller. Set in a small English town, Into the Water centers on a deadly river that has claimed the lives of women for centuries, including, most recently, a single mom and a teenage girl.

Did they jump, or were they pushed? Hawkins keeps you guessing until the final page.

HAUGSVÄR king spring mattress

499

$

©Inter IKEA Systems B.V. 2017

Every family deserves a space to cozy up together after a busy week. And nothing says cozy like a mattress with a generous layer of memory foam that gives you and your family extra comfort, at an extra affordable price. And that’s the kind of home that helps you live your dream. Because no matter what you do, who you are, or how much you make, you deserve to make the dream yours.

Mattresses have a 25-year limited warranty.

See IKEA store or IKEA-USA.com/warranty for details.

HAUGSVÄR king spring mattress, ¿rm $499 Individually wrapped pocket springs move independently and closely to follow your body. A generous layer of memory foam closest to your body provides enhanced comfort.

11" thick. 403.074.23 See IKEA store for country of origin information. Valid in US IKEA stores.

#LiveTheGoodLight

Transitions® lenses seamlessly adapt to the perfect tint, in any light.

Plus, they help protect from UV rays and harmful blue light from digital devices, and especially bright sun. Find an eyecare professional near you at Transitions.com

Transitions, the swirl and Transitions Adaptive Lenses are registered trademarks of Transitions Optical, Inc., used under license by Transitions Optical Limited. Live the Good Light is a trademark of Transitions Optical Limited. ©2017 Transitions Optical Limited. Photochromic performance is influenced by temperature, UV exposure and lens material.

W H AT W E LOV E

E V E RY T H I N G O U R E D I TO R S A R E B U Z Z I N G A B O U T T H I S M O N T H

P R O P S T Y L I N G BY J O J O L I

A SLEEK SET OF WHEELS

This lightweight, rustproof bike has an ingenious oil-free belt instead of a messy chain. Add a storage rack with a bamboo base or a sturdy trailer to help transport groceries from the farmers’ market or plants from the nursery.

TO BUY: Ikea Sladda, $499 (bike), $35 (front rack), $25 (rear rack), and $169 (trailer; not shown); ikea-usa.com.

Written by Stephanie Sisco Photograph by Corey Olsen

MAY 2017

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ANIMAL LIVE CAMS

Tigers and bears and owls—oh my! With more than 100 cameras placed at locations around the world, explore.org is able to stream at least 50 video feeds at once, guaranteeing there’s always something interesting going on. It’s the perfect lunchtime distraction.

LOT TO LOV E

Imagine a scratch-off game in which every card is a winner—and every win means support for one of four nonprofit partners that deliver clean water, nutritious meals, literacy tools, or solar light to those in need. TO BUY: $10 each; givelottolove.com.

L A RO C H E - P O S AY M Y U V PATC H

To encourage awareness of harmful sun exposure, the skin-care brand has developed a waterresistant patch that monitors UV radiation.

Scan it using the companion app for a personalized report on your exposure and tips for reducing it next time. Get yours as a gift with the purchase of any Anthelios sun protection product on laroche-posay.us (while supplies last).

T U L I P F E ST I VA L

The annual showcase flower garden and festival in the Netherlands runs until May 21. Catch the best of the blooms on the official @visitkeukenhof Instagram feed, or check out a stateside version in Holland, Michigan, from May 6 to 14 (see tuliptime.com for info).

#WHYIRE AD

S A LT & ST R AW P I N T S C LU B

In May, in celebration of its bicentennial, HarperCollins Publishers is inviting authors (and you!) to share why books are so important. The company will also distribute a total of $200,000 to an assortment of charities to promote literacy for future generations. Visit hc.com/200 to read all about it.

Receive five pints of innovative, seasonal frozen desserts (like Wasabi Flowers & Green Apple Sorbet and Rhubarb Crumble with Toasted Anise ice cream) each month. The family-run small-batch producer uses mostly local and sustainable ingredients from the West Coast.

TO BUY: $65 per month (plus shipping); saltandstraw.com.

MAY 2017

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C LO C KW I S E F R O M T O P L E F T: P H O T O G R A P H BY P H I L I P F R I E D M A N , P R O P S T Y L I N G BY M A I T R A N ; G E T T Y I M A G E S ; C O U R T E S Y O F M A N U FA C T U R E R ; G E T T Y I M A G E S ; J U S T I N A M I N T Z / 2 0 T H C E N T U R Y FO X

W H AT W E LOV E

S N AT C H E D

If their performance at the Golden Globes was any indication, Goldie Hawn and Amy Schumer’s new comedy (in theaters May 12) is set to garner a mother lode of laughs.

WELCOME TO THE TEA HOUSE. PREMIUM ORGANIC TEA. EXQUISITE INGREDIENTS. EXTRAORDINARY TASTE. Also available in these flavors: Fuji Apple & Ginger

• Valencia Orange Peel • Wild Blackberry & Sage

® 2017 PURE LEAF and TEA HOUSE COLLECTION are trademarks of the Unilever Group of Companies used under license.

THE STAPLE Written by Heath Goldman Recipes by Julia Levy Photograph by Corey Olsen

Lime–olive oil custard

W H AT W E LOV E

Process 3 large eggs, ½ cup each sugar and fresh lime juice, 2 Tbsp. lime zest, and ¼ tsp. vanilla extract in a blender for 4 minutes.

With blender running, drizzle in ½ cup olive oil.

Process until a custard forms, 1 to 2 minutes.

Serve immediately with cookies. Serves 4.

OLIVE OIL Whether it's drizzled over bread, sizzling in a pan, or whisked into salad dressing, olive oil plays an indispensable role in your kitchen.

It's hard to imagine what surprising things you could do with it that you don't already know of.

(You've DIY'd a body scrub with it, right?)

So try this: Infuse your vodka with a few tablespoons of oil to take off the bitter edge. Then pour yourself a uniquely mellow martini.

MAY 2017

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3 QUICK IDEAS Olive oil–infused vodka Cook 1½ cups vodka and 2 Tbsp. olive oil over low heat, stirring, for 20 minutes. Pour into an airtight container and freeze until oil solidifies, 8 hours; skim oil from top and discard.

Refrigerate for up to 2 weeks. Makes 1 cup.

REALSIMPLE.COM

Cook 6 cups sliced carrots, 1½ tsp. kosher salt, and 1 tsp. granulated sugar in ¼ cup olive oil over medium, stirring, for 5 minutes. Add 1 large minced shallot and 6 thyme sprigs; cover and cook, stirring occasionally, until tender, 12 to 15 minutes. Remove from heat and process with 3 cups olive oil in a blender until smooth.

Pour through a fine-mesh strainer. Spoon over fish, whisk into salad dressing, or drizzle over pasta.

Store in an airtight container for up to 2 days.

Makes 2 cups.

RS PICK

We love California Olive Ranch for its smooth, mild flavor and versatility.

P R O P S T Y L I N G BY J O J O L I

Carrot olive oil

New Pint Slices are unmistakably Ben & Jerry’s, with all the chunks and swirls you love from your favorite pint flavors. Add in a thick dark chocolatey coating and they’re all wrapped up and ready to go. It’s the best thing since sliced... anything. Available in Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Chocolate Fudge Brownie, Americone Dream® and Vanilla Peanut Butter Cup. © Ben & Jerry’s Homemade, Inc. 2017

Cows: Woody Jackson 1997 22458g

PRET TY SMART

W H AT W E LOV E

The latest beauty products and tips that save time, money, and—best of all—your sanity

EYE CANDY

P R O P S T Y L I N G BY J O J O L I

Stuck in a beige eye shadow rut?

This Limited Edition Mary Kay Eye Color Palette in Sunlight ($24; marykay.com) will help you ease into color. The silky, creaseproof powder contains tiny flecks of shimmer, so lids will catch the light but not full-on sparkle. The four shades—champagne, pink, lilac, and peach—go on sheer and look gorgeous worn alone or layered together. A winning combo: peach on the lids and champagne along the brow bones and on inner corners.

Written by

Heather Muir Maffei Photograph by

Corey Olsen

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GRAY IS NOT MY COLOR DEFY STUBBORN G GRAYS WITH CLAIROL AGE DEFY DEFY. Our specially-designed

Pre-treatment smooths unruly strands.

New antioxidant-infused

CC+ ColorSeal Conditioner locks in radiant color.

Silvia’s color is #8G Medium Golden Blonde.

©2017 COTY

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W H AT W E LOV E

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1 DEVACURL BUILDUP BUSTER

This low-lather shampoo removes buildup—its needlenose applicator targets the scalp—without stripping moisture, so your curls have bounce and shine.

TO BUY: $28; devacurl.com.

2 STILA MAGNIFICENT METALS GLITTER & GLOW LIQUID EYE SHADOW IN SUNSET COVE

The one product you need to take you from office to out. Dab the pinky-gold shadow over lids or along lash lines for a grown-up take on glitter. In 10 shades.

TO BUY: $24; sephora.com.

3 L’ORÉAL PARIS HYDRA GENIUS OILY SKIN

Using a light moisturizer on oily skin actually prevents oil glands from overproducing. This dries matte so you won’t look greasy.

TO BUY: $18; lorealparis usa.com.

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4 HOURGLASS IMMACULATE LIQUID POWDER FOUNDATION

In 22 shades, this mousse blends like a dream, then dries to a powder so you don’t have to blot throughout the day.

TO BUY: $56; sephora.com.

5 ERBORIAN GLOW CRÈME

Wear alone or under makeup to perk up dull, tired skin.

TO BUY: $42; sephora.com.

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6 BYREDO KABUKI PERFUME IN BLANCHE

Avoid handbag spills and stains with this brush-on fragrance powder. Think fresh laundry (that was folded for you).

TO BUY: $65; byredo.com.

7 LANEIGE LIP SLEEPING MASK

Photographs by

Jeff Westbrook

Slick on this berry-scented gel before bed to erase flakes by morning.

TO BUY: $18; yesstyle.com.

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©2017 P&G

DNA or OLAY?

Olay discovered that almost of women naturally look years younger. Now every woman can be ageless. We engineered New Olay Regenerist to dramatically reduce the look of wrinkles. See results on day , and years off your skin age by day .

Who needs DNA when you have Olay?

NEW USES FOR…

BUBBLE WRAP

PURSE SHAPER Help your favorite handbags keep their form (and prevent leather creasing) by filling them with Bubble Wrap when not in use.

F LO W E R F LOAT E R For easy table decor, cut a small square of Bubble Wrap and poke a hole in the center. Place a flower stem through the hole and float in a waterfilled fishbowl or hurricane candleholder.

B L I ST E R P ROT EC T I O N Spring-cleaning? Cushion hands while sweeping by attaching a piece of Bubble Wrap to the top of a broom handle. Secure with a hair tie or rubber band. (Works great on shovels, too.)

FOR EVEN MORE WAYS

to repurpose everyday items, head to realsimple .com/officesupplies.

Written by Brandi Broxson Photographs by Corey Olsen

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P R O P S T Y L I N G BY J O J O L I . VA L E N T I N E H A N D B A G , $ 9 0 ; U R B A N E X P R E S S I O N S . N E T

W H AT W E LOV E

It’s essential for cushioning breakables in transit (and relieving stress in a literal pinch). But this post office darling can do so much more. Here, it helps out with three practical household hacks.

Where will color take you? ® Ask Sherwin-Williams and discover a whole new world of color with the very best paint. Your neighborhood store is just around the corner.

Download our ColorSnap® app for color inspiration in the palm of your hand. © 2017 The Sher win-Williams Company

LIT TLE HELPERS 6 smart products to make your day easier

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PLAYFUL PET CAMERA

COLD BREW TO GO

PERFECT POACHED EGGS

Keep an eye on your beloved canine (or feline) with this genius device. It syncs with an app to show you real-time video with two-way audio. There’s even a laser so you can play with Fifi from afar. Petcube Play, $199; petcube.com.

Make and take a 10-ounce serving of coffee in just 2½ hours (a fraction of the time needed for regular cold brews) with this two-in-one iced-drip coffee maker and portable tumbler.

BPA-free. Dripo, $35; getdripo.com.

The delicate breakfast dish can sometimes be a pain to pull off. No longer, thanks to this silicone contraption. A five-minute gondola ride over boiling water yields an expertly poached egg. Eggondola, $14; animicausa.com.

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EDIBLE DESSERT STICKERS

OUCH-FREE GOGGLES

EASY-TO-INSTALL BIDET

Elevate your bake-sale game (or a birthday party) with these hand-drawn toppers.

The small sheet set covers six to eight cookies or one 5-by-2½-inch cake. Vegan and glutenfree. Chefanie Sheets, $15; chefanie.com/shop.

This UV-protective neoprene kids’ mask prevents hair tugging and nose discomfort.

Even little kids can put it on by themselves.

Comes in 11 designs (from cupcakes to tigers).

Giggly Goggles, $25; daphdaph.com.

Add a hotel-like luxury (and cut back on TP) with this handy attachment. It fits on most standard two-piece toilets and connects to the tank’s water supply to deliver a cleansing stream. Tushy, $69 to $84; tushy.me.

Written by

Brandi Broxson Photographs by

Philip Friedman

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P R O P S T Y L I N G BY M A I T R A N

W H AT W E LOV E

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©2017 Pepperidge Farm, Incorporated.

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the real st UNCOMMON KNOWLED GE FOR MODERN TIMES

HOW TO WIN AT BURGERS What happens when you ask a chef, a food historian, and a butcher to weigh in on the perfect burger? You nail it.

SERVING TIP

Wrapping burgers in parchment keeps them piping hot and helps them retain their juices.

A HEFTY BUN

For a firm foundation, choose a potato bun—it’s essential for supporting juicy beef and its accoutrements. (Or opt for a buttery brioche bun like the one shown here.)

G A L L E R Y S T O C K . S P E C I A L T H A N K S T O S E F G O N Z A L E Z , FO U N D E R O F T H E B U R G E R M U S E U M BY B U R G E R B E A S T I N M I A M I

ONLY CLASSIC TOPPINGS

Optional but approved: a piece of lettuce, a slice of tomato, a bit of onion. But leave the fried egg or avocado dollop for breakfast.

AMERICAN CHEESE

It’s engineered to melt perfectly and quickly. If you use a fancy cheese, you run the risk of overcooking the burger while waiting for the slice to melt.

80 PERCENT LEAN BEEF

You need that 20 percent fat to ensure the juiciest, most flavorful burger.

Make patties of about a quarter pound, store in the fridge, and take out just before cooking. Salt them then—no sooner.

MUSTARD, NOT KETCHUP

Mustard works with the flavor profile, not against it. (Ketchup is too sweet to complement beef.)

Smear it on both top and bottom buns.

OUR EXPERTS Written by Brandi Broxson

CHARLES MICHEL, University of Oxford chef and food

Photograph by Gregory Reid

scientist; GEORGE MOTZ, author of The Great American Burger Book; and BRYAN MAYER, Fleishers Director of Butchery Education in Brooklyn, New York

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K I TC H E N S K I L L S

Things cooks know Strategies, techniques, and tips—from the Real Simple test kitchen to yours

Why you need a jar of everythingbagel seasoning

HOW TO G RO W HERBS IND O ORS

You can buy it in specialty food stores, but this mix is easy to make at home: Combine equal parts poppy seeds, toasted sesame seeds, dried minced garlic, and dried minced onion, then season to taste with kosher salt. Here are some of our favorite ways to use the seasoning beyond bagels.

want as much light as possible, so southwestfacing windows are best.

2 Consider drainage.

Make sure your planter has holes in the bottom.

Opt for plastic, rubber, metal, or wood planters— not clay, which lets the soil dry out too quickly.

3 Choose hardy herbs.

Rosemary, sage, parsley, mint, thyme, and chives are good bets.

4 Quench their thirst.

Keep the soil moist but not damp. This usually means watering about once a week.

5 Snip, snip, snip.

Wait until the plant has enough mature leaves before you harvest it.

Never cut more than a third in one go, and let the leaves grow back before you pick again.

F I N D YO U R LO C A L C S A The initials stand for “community-supported agriculture.” What that means: You buy a “share” of a local farm in the spring, and come harvest, you get some of the goods—a box of fresh vegetables, possibly fruit, and sometimes even flowers—every week all summer long and usually into the fall. This helps smaller farms get funding when they need it, and you get fresher, more interesting produce than you’ll find at the supermarket (think: heirloom veggie varieties).

Most shares provide enough vegetables for three people for a week, but many CSAs offer half shares or biweekly deliveries if you need less. To search for a CSA in your zip code, go to localharvest.org/csa.

Order soon—some fill up by the end of April.

PIZZA CRUST: Press gently into the edge of the dough before baking.

POPCORN: Toss with butter and sprinkle liberally.

HOT DOG BUNS: Brush store-bought buns with a thin layer of egg wash, dust with bagel seasoning, and bake until set.

CHICKEN OR FISH: Dredge fillets before searing.

PASTA: Sprinkle over tomato-based dishes along with Parmesan.

SALAD DAYS

Looking for fresh ideas for your fresh produce? Go to realsimple.com/jarsalad to learn how to pack lunch in a mason jar.

Written by Heath Goldman Illustrations by Kendyll Hillegas

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SPECIAL THANKS TO KAREN L. KENNEDY OF THE HERB SOCIETY OF AMERICA

T H E R E A L I ST

1 Find the best spot. You

LIVE UNPROCESSED

Now what?!?

Smart solutions for life’s little disasters

A tube of lip balm went through the wash.

HAVE A CRISIS

that needs solving? Email your problem to askreal simple@real simple.com.

THE FIX: Remove clothes from the washer and let them air-dry (avoid the dryer, as it will set any potential stains).

Clean the remaining balm off the washer walls with a microfiber cloth and rubbing alcohol, says Leslie Reichert, author of The Joy of Green Cleaning. Once the clothes are dry, check for grease stains. Use a white cloth and dab any stains with rubbing alcohol (first test on an inconspicuous area, like a seam), continuing until you no longer see the spot.

Let the area air-dry. (If the stain is still visible, repeat the process.)

Once the stain is gone, use bar soap to remove any lingering alcohol or oil. Let the fabric air-dry and then launder as usual.

My son’s baseball glove reeks.

P.F., via email

There’s a bleach stain on the carpet.

M.E., via email

THE FIX: For stains the size of a half-dollar and

smaller, try this quick fix from John Mickel, president of Dynamic Carpet Care in Tampa, Florida: First rinse the spot thoroughly with water. Pat dry with a white cloth to soak up as much water as possible and air-dry fully. Then grab a crayon the same color as the carpet (a shade darker will work, too). Gently rub it into the fibers, starting at the bottom and moving upward. If the color looks too dark, gently rub with a damp cloth to lighten it. Repeat until the spot is tinted. For bigger stains, call the pros.

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THE FIX: Sweat is likely the culprit, says Nick Caringi, senior director of operations and education at Little League International in Williamsport, Pennsylvania. Using a clean, absorbent rag, wipe any dirt and moisture from the inside of the glove. Then store the glove in a cool, dry place outside the equipment bag to air out. (Place a baseball in the palm of the glove to help it hold its shape.) Next time your son plays, try having him dust his hand with baby powder before putting on the glove to help absorb excess perspiration.

Written by

Brandi Broxson

H A L F D A R K /G E T T Y I M A G E S

T H E R E A L I ST

B.K., via email

the perfect smile is

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ROA D T E ST

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4 BEST SPOT SHRINKER

Renée Rouleau Anti Cyst Treatment At the first sign of a painful, under-theskin whopper, dot on this lactic-andcitric-acid gel to speed healing.

TO BUY: $45.50; reneerouleau.com.

For the battle against blemishes, these powerful winners—out of 100 tested— are spot-on.

1

1 BEST CLEANSER

Belif Problem Solution Cleansing Foam Harsh washes are tempting but strip the skin, making oil production worse.

This foam gently unclogs pores with soothing tea-tree oil.

TO BUY: $24; sephora.com.

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2 BEST SERUM

4 2

iS Clinical Active Serum Need anti-aging and antiblemish? This worth-it splurge treats acne, brown spots, and fine lines.

TO BUY: $130; dermstore.com.

5 BEST MASK

Yes to Tomatoes Detoxifying Charcoal Peel-Off Mask The silicone tip delivers the black mask onto skin without getting fingers messy. Once dry, it peels off in one sheet (um, fun), taking the grime with it.

TO BUY: $16; target .com.

6 BEST EXFOLIATOR

BeautyRx Advanced 10% Exfoliating Pads Every other night, swipe a pad over clean skin, wait 15 minutes, then rinse.

You’ll shrink existing zits and prevent new ones.

TO BUY: $70 for 50 pads; beautyrx.com.

3 BEST MOISTURIZER

realsimple

ROAD TEST

Ole Henriksen Counter Balance Oil Control Hydrator This multitasker hydrates all over while also mattifying an oily T-zone.

Plus, it contains acids to clear skin.

TO BUY: $34; sephora.com.

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Written by

Chelsea Traber Burns Photographs by

Jeffrey Westbrook

T H E R E A L I ST

BREAKOUT TREATMENTS

1 MILANI BROW FIX KIT

“I actually use the neutral powders in this eyebrow palette to help fill in inconsistent hairlines when I do updos—especially tight ponytails. No one has a perfectly even hairline, so sometimes you’ve gotta fill in the gaps!”

TO BUY: $8; at CVS.

Drugstore insider

2 NATURE’S BOUNTY HAIR, SKIN & NAILS GUMMIES

The best beauty products in the aisles, handpicked by a pro

“Some people need a boost to grow strong hair, and these strawberry-flavored biotin gummies are an easy way to get it.”

TO BUY: $10; at drugstores.

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3 KRISTIN ESS DRY FINISH WORKING TEXTURE SPRAY

“Hands down, the best affordable dry texturizing spray. I truly mean that.

Create a soft, matte texture or a lived-in look by applying a light veil all over.”

TO BUY: $14; target.com.

4 CONAIR HOOK UP DETANGLING BRUSH 3

H A I R ST Y L I ST K R I ST I N E SS Los Angeles–based Ess has a celebrity roster that includes Lauren Conrad, Jenna Dewan Tatum, and Lucy Hale—but her website, TheBeautyDepartment.com, lets everyone in on her secrets (you can see hundreds of tutorials). And she just launched a hair collection with Target. Score!

“Cheap yet epic. I have never been so happy to brush out my hair. No more painful pulling! Obsessed.”

TO BUY: $5; at drugstores.

5 SCÜNCI NO DAMAGE HAIR ELASTICS

“I like these because they come in all different colors and sizes, from thick and extra large to really thin for fine hair. No matter what type of hair I’m working on, there’s an option to fit it.”

TO BUY: $4 for 30; walmart.com.

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6 JOHN FRIEDA LUMINOUS GLAZE CLEAR SHINE

“This is a quick, inexpensive way to add shine between salon appointments and seal down dry ends. Since it’s clear, it won’t mess with your color.”

TO BUY: $10; at drugstores.

5 4

Photograph by

Jeff Westbrook

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P H O T O G R A P H O F K R I S T I N E S S BY Y O N I G O L D B E R G

T H E R E A L I ST

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T H E R E A L I ST B A BY: H . A R M S T R O N G R O B E R T S /C L A S S I C S T O C K / E V E R E T T C O L L E C T I O N ; S TA R S : G E T T Y I M A G E S

the steps you can take today to look great for years to come.

ARE YOU DESTINED TO LOOK LIKE YOUR MOTHER? Maybe you’d give anything to age as gorgeously as Mom. Maybe there’s a trait (cough, varicose veins) you’d just as soon avoid. Either way, doctors say there are clues to reading your beauty future—and taking control of it.

When you were a kid, looking at old prom and wedding photos of your mom was mesmerizing.

You were getting not only a glimpse into her past but also a preview of how you might look when you grew up. As an adult, you still want to know: Will you age like your mother?

We asked dermatologists to reveal how your features are affected by your genes—and to share

Written by Stacey Colino

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Your Eyes THE MYTH: Smiling causes crow’s-feet.

THE SCIENCE: That’s not completely true; it’s more about squinting, says Doris Day, MD, clinical associate professor of dermatology at New York University Medical Center and author of Forget the

Facelift. Creases around the eyes are more prevalent in women with thin, fair skin. If your mother has crow’s-feet and you share her skin tone, you could be at increased risk of developing them, too. But the real culprits are usually sun exposure and repeated squinting, notes Day. YOUR BEST BETS: Wear sunscreen and sunglasses every day to protect your skin from UV damage. “If you find yourself squinting often while you’re inside, you might need glasses, or a different prescription, to reduce the strain on the skin around your eyes,” says Whitney Bowe, MD, a dermatologist in New York City. “You should also use a moisturizing eye cream that contains antioxidants to keep the area hydrated and prevent damage from free radicals triggered by the environment.” A good one for day: Caudalie VineActiv Energizing and Smoothing Eye Cream ($39; us.caudalie.com).

At night, apply an eye cream with retinol or peptides, which can strengthen and repair skin. Try Roc Retinol Correxion Eye Cream ($25; ulta.com). If you still develop these fine lines—

and they bother you—talk to your dermatologist about whether Botox or Dysport injections could soften their appearance.

Your Hair THE MYTH: Hair loss is determined by your maternal grandfather.

THE SCIENCE: Not so, says Joshua Zeichner, MD, director of cosmetic and clinical research in dermatology at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City.

It has more to do with your parents. However, if your mother’s hair has thinned, it’s not a foregone conclusion that yours will, too. “The risk is higher if you have a mother with femalepattern hair loss,” says Jeffrey Epstein, MD, director of the Foundation for Hair Restoration in Miami and New York City. But many factors can affect your chances of hair loss— including the genes inherited from Dad, hormonal abnormalities, nutritional deficiencies, stress, and underlying health conditions, such as anemia and hypothyroidism.

YOUR BEST BETS: Eat a healthy diet rich in iron, zinc, B vitamins, vitamin D, protein, and omega-3 fatty acids. It may help to take a nutritional supplement that’s formulated to promote thicker,

fuller hair, says Zeichner.

(We like Nutrafol for Women, $88; nutrafol .com.) You could also try an over-the-counter topical product containing minoxidil (an FDAapproved treatment for hair loss), such as Redken Cerafill Retaliate Minoxidil Topical Solution for Women ($30; ulta .com). But if you’re noticing considerable thinning, see a dermatologist or cosmetic surgeon who specializes in hair loss and can provide a stronger treatment. One option is laser or light therapy, in which visible red light is absorbed by the hair follicle, potentially stimulating growth; another is platelet-rich plasma injections, in which your own plasma is injected into your

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scalp so growth factors in the blood encourage your hair to grow.

Your Pores THE MYTH: You can permanently shrink those suckers.

THE SCIENCE: Unfortunately, once pores have expanded (usually from persistent clogging and sun exposure), there’s no way to make them disappear, says Day. (You can create some optical illusions, though.) “Pore size is determined by genetics.

The more active the sebaceous glands, the larger your pores may appear,” says Zeichner. Pores can become even bigger if you have acne, which may also run in the family, or don’t take good care of your skin.

YOUR BEST BETS: Clear pores look smaller than clogged ones, so use products that contain salicylic acid or retinol to exfoliate the dead skin cells that line the pores.

REALSIMPLE.COM

Try Proactiv Skin Clearing Water Gel ($36; amazon .com), which has 2 percent salicylic acid, plus hyaluronic acid to prevent dryness. And wear sunscreen religiously. When the sun damages the collagen in your skin, your pore walls lose elasticity and sag, making pores appear larger. If you have oily skin, act fast when it comes to treating blemishes: The longer oil sits and clogs pores, the more they grow. Use blotting papers to remove oil throughout the day, says Zeichner, such as Too Cool for School Dinoplatz Blotting Paper ($8 for 50 sheets; sephora.com).

Also, don’t squeeze pores.

Doing so leads to inflammation, which makes them bigger. If your pores are extremely noticeable and really annoy you,

M I R R O R : J U D I T H C O L L I N S /A L A M Y; S TA R S : G E T T Y I M A G E S

T H E R E A L I ST

“If you’ve inherited your mother’s ageless looks, you’ve won the genetic lottery. Adhere to a similar lifestyle and you’ve got a good chance of aging like she did,” says dermatologist Whitney Bowe, MD.

Your Skin

THE SCIENCE: Doing so

Your Undereyes Bowe: “Almost everyone will develop a few throughout her life.” Generally, they occur where skin rubs against itself or against clothing, which is why they often appear around the breasts, neck, and underarm area. If you have more than 30 skin tags, you’re at an increased risk of developing diabetes, according to a study published in Danish Medical Journal this year.

YOUR BEST BET: See your dermatologist. Some people confuse skin tags with other growths, such as warts, which feel firmer than skin tags. If a skin tag isn’t bothering you, there’s no need to remove it. But if you want it removed, your doctor can snip it off, says Day. “Don’t treat

THE MYTH: A lack of sleep causes dark circles.

THE SCIENCE: Day says insufficient sleep doesn’t actually cause permanent undereye circles, but it does cause temporary changes that make the skin look darker. Natural shadows from deep-set eye sockets, blue veins that show beneath the skin, and darker pigmentation are all things you can inherit from either parent. But your habits matter, too: Sun damage, sleep deprivation, and aggressive eye rubbing can exacerbate undereye circles, says Zeichner.

YOUR BEST BETS: Wear sunscreen daily and protect the area with sunglasses whenever you go outside. Eye creams with

W O M A N : D A N J A Q / E O N / U A / R E X / S H U T T E R S T O C K ; S TA R S : G E T T Y I M A G E S

THE MYTH: Removing a skin tag—a small flap attached to the body by a narrow stalk—will cause more to grow.

THE SCIENCE: That’s false, says Day. The one you removed may grow back, though. And if you are prone to skin tags, you will likely develop more, whether you remove one or not. Skin tags tend to run in families. They’re incredibly common, says

these yourself!” she urges.

“The area can bleed a lot and get infected.”

peptides or hyaluronic acid, like Olay Eyes Illuminating Eye Cream ($27; at drugstores), can prevent or minimize undereye circles. And creams with retinol, vitamin A, vitamin C, vitamin K, niacinamide, or growth factors can help strengthen and thicken the skin, making blood vessels less visible, says Day. Try Dr. Dennis Gross C + Collagen Brighten & Firm Eye Cream ($65; sephora .com). If you’re prone to bluish discoloration, a product that has caffeine, such as 100% Pure Coffee Bean Caffeine Eye Cream ($25; 100percentpure .com), can constrict the blood vessels beneath the eyes, says Zeichner. A new vitamin K cream from Isdin, called Isdinceutics K-Ox Eyes ($85; isdin.com), has a similar effect, reducing reddish discoloration and puffiness. Have allergies?

Take an antihistamine to reduce symptoms, and avoid rubbing your eyes.

Be sure to remove eye makeup gently with a fragrance-free product, like Almay Oil-Free Eye Makeup Remover Liquid ($6; ulta.com). If all else fails, invest in a good concealer that’s the right hue for you. We love Lancôme Teint Idole Ultra Wear Camouflage Concealer ($31; lancome-usa.com), available in 16 shades.

Your Legs THE MYTH: You get varicose

veins or spider veins by crossing your legs too much.

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won’t cause either problem, says Paul Jarrod Frank, MD, a cosmetic dermatologist in New York City. “Bulging blue varicose veins have an enormous genetic component,” he says.

“They have to do with an inherited weakness in the valves of the blood vessels.” The smaller, squiggly purple spider veins are less attributable to genetics; sun damage to fair skin is a bigger factor, says Zeichner.

YOUR BEST BETS: If your mom has bulging veins, you can lessen your risk of having as many by keeping your weight in a healthy range, staying physically active, and never smoking. Avoid sitting or standing for long periods; this causes blood pooling and increased pressure on the veins.

“Elevate your legs when you can, and flex and point your feet when you’re sitting at your desk to stimulate circulation,” says Day. To prevent spider veins, slather legs with a broad-spectrum sunscreen, like Coola Body SPF 30 Body Unscented Moisturizer ($32; coola suncare.com), every day they’re exposed. If you’re unhappy with spider veins or varicose veins, talk to a dermatologist or cosmetic surgeon about injections to minimize their appearance.

MOM KNOWS BEST

For valuable life lessons, go to realsimple.com/ momadvice.

T H E R E A L I ST

consider investing in microneedling. This treatment uses tiny needles to create microscopic wounds in the skin that trigger your body to build new collagen and elastin as part of the natural healing process. “This makes the walls of your pores firmer and appear smaller,” says Bowe. “It also helps topical treatments work better.”

®/™

Trademarks © Mars, Incorporated 2017

THEN. NOW.

IAMS™. The ideal amount of protein and vitamins to help keep your dog healthy and active at every stage of life.

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IAMS. GOOD FOR LIFE.™

THE PRETTIEST HOUSE ON THE BLOCK Sometimes it’s what’s outside that counts.

Landscaping pros give you a curb-appeal consult.

Written by Liz Zack

OFFSET

T H E R E A L I ST

Photograph by Jen Huang

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WELCOME TO THE BLOOM SHOW. ®

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Deer have eaten my

Our azaleas all died, and our peonies never flowered. Help! C.R.

hosta plants and pear and apple trees. What can I grow that they won’t go after? J.H. The bad news: Fully deer-proof plants don’t exist. But there are some they’re less likely to eat, including fuzzy plants, like lamb’s ears; prickly ones (Echinops, juniper); and those with a scent, like lavender and rosemary. Since deer are able to jump most fences, “you’ll need a rotating arsenal

of deterrents so they never get a chance to catch on and adapt,” says landscape architect Mark Tessier. Some tried-and-true options: a motion sensor attached to a garden hose (ScareCrow Motion Activated Water Repellent, $70; amazon.com); a wind chime; a scented repellent spray (Deer Out, $16; deerout.com); and a solar-powered laser device that spooks deer by “blinking” every few seconds (Nite Guard, $25; amazon.com).

Swap these in and out every month or so and deer will probably hang out elsewhere.

A common mistake with peonies is planting them too deep, says garden designer P. Allen Smith. “There should be only about a half inch of soil over the top of the tuber, or it can affect blooming,” he says. It’s the opposite with azaleas, notes gardening pro Daryl Beyers. When they’re planted too shallow, their roots are exposed, and they can’t survive. Also key: a properly prepared garden bed. Says Beyers, “That means the soil is filled with organic matter, and in early spring you’ve added a fertilizer with high phosphorus levels, like Miracle Grow Bloom Booster.”

3 Our front yard is open to our neighbor’s.

We want a border but not a fence. Any ideas? L.V.B.

B E N H U P F E R /G A L L E R Y S T O C K

RETHINK THE FENCE: LANDSCAPE YOUR PROPERTY LINES WITH A HEDGE.

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“A screen of ornamental grasses, like Pennisetum or Miscanthus, gives a sense of separation without the inyour-face divisiveness of a fence,” says landscape designer Kathleen Ferguson. Another, more colorful idea: “Try a low-growing hedge, like Westringia Blue Gem. It’s especially beautiful with a mix of flowering echinacea, penstemons, and sages planted in front.”

T H E R E A L I ST

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4 What’s the best type of grass for a shady area?

I’ve had no luck getting mine to grow. I’m ready to put in pavers instead. L.V.N.

OUR EXPERTS DARYL BEYERS,

5 We live in a townhome without much outdoor space. How can we boost its curb appeal on a block of sameness? E.H. When space is tight, homeowners tend to play it safe with basic shrubs and grass, says Beyers. “To break the mold, mix in flowers or small trees that have interesting shapes,” he says. His go-to formula: one ornamental tree (like a dwarf Japanese maple), two different evergreens (spruce, juniper), and two deciduous shrubs—an early bloomer (say, azalea or lilac) and a later bloomer, like rose of Sharon. With this combo, your yard will have some color all year long.

landscape designer and gardening instructor in New York City KATHLEEN FERGUSON,

landscape designer in Los Angeles

BRIGHT GREEN CREEPING JENNY IS A SMART PICK FOR A SHADY AREA.

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garden designer in Little Rock, Arkansas, and host of Garden Home and Garden Style

6 Half of our garden gets a lot of sun, and the other half is very shady.

What can I plant to make it look uniform? K.L.

MARK TESSIER,

landscape architect in Santa Monica, California

Some plants, like SunPatiens and boxwood shrubs, can thrive in the sun or shade, so Beyers recommends

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achieving a cohesive look by repeating at least one of these dualexposure types in both areas alongside the other flowers. Another option: Use color as a link—say, feature a variety of all-white flowers.

“On the shady side, you could plant Incrediball and oakleaf hydrangeas, for example,” suggests Smith. “Then, on the sunny side, try white roses, cosmos, and dahlias.”

T I N A C R E S P O/ S T O C K S Y

T H E R E A L I ST

Instead of giving up on grass, choose a shade-tolerant blend, which often includes perennial ryegrass, supina bluegrass, or creeping red fescue, says Beyers. If you won’t need to walk on the area and just want it to look green, you can also consider a fastgrowing ground cover or spreader. “The small-leaf dwarf mondo is ideal for warm climates,” says Smith. “In cooler areas, I like creeping Jenny, a low mat of chartreuse leaves.” Still set on pavers? Soften the look with oversize pots filled with flowers.

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My dogs have destroyed my backyard. What are some hardy bushes that can survive all the trampling? J.P.

GREENERY WITH A GRASSY TEXTURE IS TYPICALLY TOUGH ENOUGH TO WITHSTAND A DOG’S DAILY ROMPS.

7 Our neighbor’s lawn is greener than ours.

What are they doing right? W.S. Lawns are demanding, requiring a lot of water and fertilizer, so it’s possible your neighbors are using more of both.

Some good guidelines,

says Beyers: Give the lawn an inch of water per week (about a half hour of sprinkler time three days a week). Improve the soil by applying a high-nitrogen fertilizer (at garden-supply stores) in April or early May. In September, use a highphosphorus fertilizer to promote root growth.

Every few years, rent a machine or hire a pro to aerate. Poking holes in the ground loosens the soil, enabling the roots of the grass to spread out and grab more nutrients.

MAY 2017

9 My house is red brick, with a black door and white shutters.

What’s a fresher color palette? D.G. Look closely at the brick facade, suggests interior designer Elaine Griffin: “It’s actually

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made of a gazillion hues—many reds, plus some brown, black, gray, ivory, and maybe even blue. Choosing one of these for the shutters always works.

Then, for the door, try a brighter color for contrast.” Some favorite combos: charcoal shutters with a coral door, navy shutters with a crimson door, and black shutters with a robin’segg blue door. “Why not have fun with your front door?” says Griffin.

“If you get tired of it, a redo is a quick weekend project.”

J AV I E R PA R D I N A / S T O C K S Y

T H E R E A L I ST

Pups and plants are a tricky pairing, says Ferguson. Generally, greenery with a grassy texture or feathery foliage tends to hold up best.

“Ornamental grasses are my favorite because they rebound when brushed up against—and they’re lush, so they disguise gaps from trampling,” she says. Not only are they sturdy, but some are striking, too. “Fountain grass has tall, arching leaves, and fortnight lily is a perennial bush with pretty white flowers,” says Ferguson.

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Organize this CORD CORRALLER Bundle wires in this genius little piece of leather and you’ll never again face that annoying task of detangling earbuds or cables from your umbrella.

Until someone invents a magical bottomless purse, pro organizer Beth Penn offers these tricks.

Photograph by Alpha Smoot ALL THIS STUFF IN HERE, AND THERE’S STILL ROOM FOR A WATER BOTTLE AND SUNGLASSES!

TO BUY: Cord taco, $30 for 5; cb2.com.

T H E R E A L I ST

EYE-CATCHING KEY CHAIN A holder that’s a substantial size keeps keys from getting buried in the bottom of your bag.

TO BUY: Leather tassel

key chain, $49; mark andgraham.com for similar styles.

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PORTABLE POUCH Stash makeup and jewelry in a lined, dual-compartment case for quick, no-thinking-required bag swaps when racing from the gym to the office to an evening out.

TO BUY: Stackers travel case, $40; containerstore.com.

SPARE SATCHEL It’s great to have an extra bag on hand for shoe changes and spontaneous grocery stops.

This ultralight one takes up practically no space when you tuck it in.

MINI COIN PURSE If an overstuffed wallet is always weighing down your bag, put a cap on all that change you’re hauling around. This little guy sets the limit for you.

TO BUY: Standard Baggu

TO BUY: Triangle coin purse, $34; poketo.com.

bag, $10; baggu.com.

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T R E N D TO T RY

Florals

1

2

1 STATEMENT NECKLACE

Bold black blossoms make this a standout piece against a white tee.

Chico’s, $55; chicos.com.

This season’s blooms range from painterly to graphic to 3-D. (Talk about garden variety!)

3

In unexpected tones, a rosy print reads as almost edgy. Ann Taylor, $60; anntaylor.com.

3 ENVELOPE CLUTCH

Live in solids? Up your game with a high-octane accessory. Sondra Roberts, $65; nordstrom.com.

4 CROPPED PANTS

Pair the striking pattern with a white silk blouse and you’re done.

PT Pantaloni Torino, $425; at The Porcupine (843-785-2779).

4

5 EMBELLISHED SANDAL

Heels in pale pink with petals go with nearly everything. Daya

by Zendaya “Mariana,” $90; nordstrom.com.

6

5

6 SEASONLESS DRESS

Wear this muted beauty now with suede boots and later with flat sandals.

Massimo Dutti, $180; massimodutti.com.

Written by

Rebecca Daly Photographs by

Philip Friedman

FRESH PICKS

Head to realsimple.com/ floral for even more fashionably flowery options.

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S O F T S T Y L I N G BY M A I T R A N . T O P L E F T P H O T O G R A P H : F LO R I L E G I U S /G E T T Y I M A G E S

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SPORTY SPICE

S E T D E S I G N BY M A R I E-YA N M O R VA N

The latest thing in shoes? Summerready styles that are crazy comfortable (think: cushiony rubber soles and supple materials) but look way cooler than your running shoes.

LACOSTE

There’s no need to sacrifice form for function.

Case in point: this chic flat leather sandal.

TO BUY: Pirle sandals, $130; zappos.com.

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SLIP-ONS

1

Not just for the skater set, slide-on sneakers get an upgrade with glittery details and shimmering finishes.

1 BAD GLEY MISCHK A

The cluster of crystals makes a laid-back look (jeans or shorts) a tiny bit fancy.

TO BUY: Barre sneakers, $175; amazon.com.

T H E R E A L I ST

2

2 VA N S

Rose gold gives this iconic shoe a modern makeover.

TO BUY: Classic slip-ons, $60; zappos.com.

3

3 K A ANAS

Swap out your basic flats for this flexible, crocembossed pair.

TO BUY: Kilimanjaro sneakers, $129; kaanas .com.

4 ST UA RT WEITZMAN

Sleek mirrored silver looks smashing with skinny jeans or a summery skirt.

TO BUY: Boyband slip-ons, $398; zappos.com.

4

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1

SANDALS Track soles and graphic, blackand-white styling effortlessly balance “statement” and “sensible.”

1 SOFF T

A 1½-inch platform lends a little lift (no heels needed).

TO BUY: Mirabelle sandals, $90; sofftshoe.com.

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T H E R E A L I ST

Athletic vibes courtesy of the lug sole and Velcro strap, high-fashion styling via woven leather.

TO BUY: Tara sandals, $89; zappos.com.

3 F O R E V E R 21

3

Wear this shiny pair with everything from cut-off shorts to brightly colored shifts.

TO BUY: Metallic sandals, $25; forever21.com.

4 JIMMY CHO O

Eye-catching braided leather gives this practical style a playful feel.

TO BUY: Deluxe flats, $650; jimmychoo.com.

4

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CL ASSIC SNEAKERS

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Perforated patterns add an element of interest to these otherwise minimalist tennies.

2

1 Bring a stylishly vintage vibe to your look with retro-inspired high-tops.

TO BUY: Perforated high-tops, $60; kohls.com.

2 ASH

Cool in more ways than one, the perforation is backed with breathable mesh for increased ventilation.

TO BUY: Spin sneakers, $210; ashusa.com.

3

3 R AC H E L Z O E

Fashion-forward finishing meets comfortable construction (and easy-on, easy-off straps).

TO BUY: Jaden sneakers, $278; shoprachelzoe .com.

4 S H O E DA Z Z L E

Gold metallic lining highlights the intricate design.

TO BUY: Chasma sneakers, $40; shoedazzle.com.

4 ;

T H E R E A L I ST

S O FO R KO H L’ S

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T H E R E A L I ST

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3 DKNY

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Silver leather sandals look at home both by the shore and on city streets.

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Attending a beach wedding?

Consider your footwear dilemma solved.

TO BUY: Linda sandals, $445; alexisgamblin .com.

This leather iteration reaches the apex of sleek style.

TO BUY: Lani slipons, $148; dkny .com for stores.

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4 CHARLES DAV I D

The silhouette may be simple, but the perforated silver upper and studded lug sole create tons of visual appeal.

TO BUY: Space sandals, $189; nordstrom.com.

GET YOUR KICKS

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5 WAYS TO MAKE CONVERSATION WITH KIDS

Who knew talking to a 5- (or 15-) year-old could be so hard?

When Minecraft, Lego sets, and “Whew, summer reading, huh?” don’t break the ice, here are some trusted tactics from the pros—including a preschool teacher and a theater director. (And if all else fails…ice cream.)

C H R I ST I A N A M I L L S, SO CIAL WORKER

Do some reconnaissance.

If you’re going to be with a child you haven’t seen in a while, a little preparation can help lay the groundwork for a good conversation. Before the visit, ask the parents about what’s going on in their child’s life. That way you aren’t starting with “What are you learning in school?” when the kid is, say, having a difficult year.

Instead, you can engage her on a specific topic—soccer, for example, or horses or lacrosse. Knowing a few tidbits in advance might lead you to say, “I heard you saw a great movie last weekend. Can you tell me about it?” The same strategy may work for your own kids if they are young or tend to be shy, or if you’re going to visit someone they haven’t seen in a while. I’ll say, “Oh, Aunt Caitlin is going to want to hear about your gymnastics—and, by the way, you may want to ask her about her vacation.”

Christiana Mills, a licensed clinical social worker, is the coordinator of Yale Child Study Center’s outpatient clinic in New Haven, Connecticut.

Written by Sarah J. Robbins Photograph by Magali Nougarede

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2

4

S H E A M C I N E R N E Y, P R E S C H O O L T E AC H E R

P E T E R B RO S I U S, T H E AT E R D I R EC TO R

A lot of adults understandably feel a responsibility to teach kids about the world.

So if a child is telling us something that is factually inaccurate, we may be compelled to correct him. But it’s more important to affirm kids’ ability to express their thoughts than to nitpick.

Recently I was with a few students, looking at a pumpkin that had frozen and thawed and was now a big pile of goo. When I asked what they thought had happened, one kid said, “I think it got so, so big that it exploded.” So I asked him to explain it further. Drawing out his curiosity, rather than jumping in with an accurate explanation, was much more fruitful.

Shea McInerney is a teacher at North Shore Nursery School in Beverly Farms, Massachusetts.

Watch something together.

3 J U L I E K I N G, PA R E N T E D U C ATO R

Be into what they’re into.

You may have had the experience of feeling trapped in a conversation with a child who is talking endlessly about something you don’t care about.

When my son was 7, he became interested in HTML code. I’m not really a computer person, so I resisted talking about it.

But once I tried to learn why he liked it, I saw that he liked the way the code helped a programmer do so many creative things, like change colors or make columns. Not only did the subject then seem more approachable, but it also—more importantly— became a way for us to connect.

5

Engaging with the arts—particularly theater and film—is an extraordinary way to start conversations with children. You’re both experiencing something new at the same time, which stirs all sorts of ideas. As a starting point, you can say to them, “Close your eyes and tell me the one thing you remember.” Their perceptions may mirror yours or be wildly different. They could have

C H R I S P EG U L A , AU T H O R

Ask open-ended questions.

Who hasn’t asked a teenager “How was your day?” only to get back a terse “Good”? (Another classic: “What did you do?”

“Nothing.”) With older kids, you have to be a little creative—no yes-or-no questions. You’ll engage in more dialogue if you ask something like “What topic did you discuss in your core class today?” Then you can ask follow-up questions: “What was your opinion?” That said, if a kid isn’t opening up, it’s OK. Children deserve their space and privacy just like adults.

We need to treat them with respect, even if they are not answering us the way we want them to.

Chris Pegula, owner of the Diaper Dude brand, is the author of Diaper Dude: The Ultimate Dad’s Guide to Surviving the First Two Years. He lives in Los Angeles.

Julie King is a coauthor of How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2–7. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area.

MAY 2017

Peter Brosius is the artistic director of the Children’s Theatre Company in Minneapolis.

SECRETS TO SUCCESS

Get 13 simple rules that will transform your parenting at realsimple.com/parentadvice.

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L E S L E E M I T C H E L L /O F F S E T

R E L AT I N G

Resist the urge to fact-check.

a completely emotional response—“That character was so sad/silly”— or they might focus on a costume, a color, how the lights moved, a set piece. The possibilities are endless! You can even use the performance to understand the child’s own emotions or experiences.

You could ask, “What did you see that you think made the character feel that way? Have you ever felt that way?

Tell me a story about someone who’s felt that way.”

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Good Read

DANCING WITH MY FATHER

Photograph by Coliena Rentmeester

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TRUNK ARCHIVE

Decades after a life-altering tragedy, writer Michal Lemberger finds insight, inspiration, and a connection with her late beloved dad in ballet class.

Though I had inherited so much from my father, I did not get his feet. The notion of dancing had never occurred to me. A selfconscious kid, I couldn’t imagine moving so freely in front of other people.

Paramedics pulled me from the car, and I was rushed to the hospital. I had a shattered femur, a broken hip socket, shredded knee ligaments, internal bleeding, a broken rib and vertebra, and a concussion. Two surgical teams sliced me open. One sopped up the blood that had pooled inside my abdomen. The other inserted a titanium rod along the length of my thighbone.

In the hours after the accident, as I was X-rayed and prepped for surgery, my mother took my father’s body back to New York, where she and my siblings buried him and sat shivah. I stayed in the hospital in Vermont, furiously pushing away my grief as I tried to come to terms with my new physical reality.

Despite a steady stream of visitors, I was on my own much of the time. Because I was alone, I could tell myself, during those first few days of intermittent consciousness, that I would deal with my newfound fatherlessness later, after I had taken care of the more immediate fact of my body’s brokenness. It didn’t work that way. Within days, I was coming apart, crying into my starched pillowcase, dependent on the comfort of a young nurse and the woman in the next bed.

My father had taught me to draw and how to look at a building’s skeleton and see beauty there. We had talked about books and politics and how to remain good in a hard world. We shared more than that. I inherited his face. Even when it moved from male to female form, the likeness was extraordinary. Now that likeness was all I had left.

When I was 21, I traveled from New York to Vermont with my parents. At 2:30 in the morning, as my mother dozed in the passenger seat and I slept in back, my father lost consciousness behind the wheel.

The car veered across the empty highway, crashed into the rock face that lined the road, and ricocheted back, coming to a stop astride the divider. By then, the shock of the impact had traveled up the length of my body. My mother, who was unhurt, scrambled out of the wreckage to flag down a passing truck.

My father was dead.

About the author Michal Lemberger wrote the awardwinning book After Abel and Other Stories. She lives, writes, and teaches in Los Angeles.

The next few years were dense with surgeries and physical therapy. My body was filled with metal hardware one year. The next, it was removed. I progressed

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DA NC E S HOU L D H AV E B E E N part of my inheritance.

My father, an architect by trade, loved dance so much that it colored his fantasies: When he imagined himself born into a different time, place, or family, he saw a life that could have allowed him to become a professional ballet dancer.

At family functions, he and my grandmother would glide across the floor in a Hungarian waltz no one else remembered. On Sunday afternoons, when he took my brother and me for bike rides in Central Park, he would stop at a group of folk dancers who gathered each week by the side of Turtle Pond.

We played on the rocks above the filmy water as he joined the circle of dancers under the stony gaze of Jagiello, the 15th-century Polish king. Sweat broke out across his face and darkened his T-shirt as his arms and heels rose in time to the music. He was both concentrating and losing himself as he spun.

In those moments, he seemed utterly content.

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I do my best, and I even find moments to relish—I love rising up on the balls of my feet in relevé and stretching toward the ceiling. Still, I’m pretty terrible at this.

from wheelchair to walker to crutches to cane, and finally to my own two feet. Through all that, no matter my state of mind, I had to gain strength. I had to learn to sit up unassisted, to grip a walker, to hop on my good leg.

I never regained my equilibrium: The surgery that had saved me also left one leg a half inch shorter than the other. I was permanently unbalanced.

Though I had inherited so much from my father, I did not get his feet. The notion of dancing had never occurred to me. A self-conscious kid, I couldn’t imagine moving so freely in front of other people (even as a child, I was more drawn to the dress-up potential of pink tutus than to dance itself).

But for all it took from me, the accident cured me of my unease. There were only so many times I could be poked and prodded by doctors, nurses, and physical therapists before I stopped caring who was looking. Later, years after I had watched my young daughters wobble through ballet classes, marveling as their confidence and coordination grew, I gave in to my curiosity, finding an adult-beginner ballet class for myself. I did so with no expectations. For so long, it would have been impossible for me to try at all.

Just being there felt like an accomplishment.

their feet to perfect a certain line to a leg or propulsion of a leap. The illusion lies in us, the spectators, who never inhabit the dancers’ bodies or feel the control they must exert to articulate their movements.

In this, ballet is like grief.

We expect to see a mourner in pain in the immediate aftermath of the death of a loved one. After that, grief persists invisibly. Others can’t see it, but it never goes away. Instead, you learn to live with it, to move through your days and years accommodating your new reality.

But the true tragedy of losing someone you love unfolds over time. There’s the loss itself, the empty space that used to be filled by that person—his voice, the sound of his footfalls in the hallway, the face you inherited from him looking back at you. And then there’s the fact that the sorrow you feel changes you, so that you are no longer the person he once knew.

My father’s death set in motion a series of changes in me such that I wonder whether he would recognize the person I’ve become. As the years pass, he is more and more lost to me. He died too soon to experience many important moments in my life. He wasn’t there when I graduated from college. He never met the man I married. He died long before I had children. And he missed out on seeing me overcome the injuries and mourning that his own death initiated. He never knew my strength.

When I walked into the dance studio for the first time, I had no idea my father’s ghost was coming with me. His dream of dancing was never mine. I don’t love dance as he did. I live in a body that’s permanently weakened and scarred. But in the studio, moving red-faced and awkward, I can return, however briefly, to those moments of his contentment.

Because there it is in the mirror: his face, dancing. Q

In class, I totter unevenly across the floor. I do my best, and I even find moments to relish—I love rising up on the balls of my feet in relevé and stretching toward the ceiling. Still, I’m pretty terrible at this. If I stick with it, I will probably improve. But no amount of time and practice will give me any real mastery.

Ballet, I’ve learned, depends on the illusion of effortlessness. It never gets easy. Even the pros bloody

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Q.

R E L AT I N G

A. Many bunnies enjoy companionship, says veterinarian Jennifer L. Saver. But getting two to bond can be tricky. Make sure both are spayed or neutered, then house the new one in a separate pen alongside the other, at least six inches away.

Swap their litter boxes daily to get them used to each other’s scents. After about a month, set up one of the pens in a neutral area, like a hallway, for a three-minute bonding session.

Place some favorite vegetables, along with the two litter boxes, on opposite sides of the pen. Watch the bunnies closely for biting and other aggressive behavior. If all goes well— they’re eating or just ignoring each other—add five minutes to each daily visit until they’re cuddling or grooming each other. It can take up to three months for the relationship to gel. For more tips, talk to an experienced vet.

A. This pain-in-the-neck behavior is often a response to actual pain. “Your cat could be acting out because she has arthritis and is uncomfortable, for example,” says veterinarian Ann Hohenhaus. So it’s a good idea to have a vet check her out and provide treatment if needed. Clean bill of health? The “aggression” could just be an attempt to play with you. To curb the habit, don’t react to your cat’s biting behavior when it happens, and displace her need to hunt by offering toys she can play with by herself, like a spinning wand to swat at (try SmartyKat’s feather whirl, $15; chewy.com). If the behavior persists after a few weeks of diligent effort on your part, have your cat examined by an animal behaviorist, who can give you a plan to, er, nip it in the bud.

ANDY ROARK, DVM,

Cleveland Park Animal Hospital, Greenville, South Carolina

THE PET EXPERTS ANN HOHENHAUS, DVM,

Animal Medical Center, New York City LISA RADOSTA, DVM,

Florida Veterinary Behavior Service, West Palm Beach, Florida

JENNIFER L. SAVER, DVM,

Catnip & Carrots Veterinary Hospital, New Hyde Park, New York

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Q. My 55-pound Lab has started reverse sneezing (making a loud snorting sound). What’s causing it, and what should I do?

A. While those minute-or-twolong episodes may seem alarming, “they’re actually pretty common,” says veterinarian Andy Roark. “Reverse sneezing can happen when a dog’s throat is irritated—either by allergens, household chemicals, or a tootight collar—or he’s just generally excited, and he sucks in air rather than blowing it out.” If it’s happening daily or you notice a nasal discharge (which can signal something stuck in the nose or throat), have a vet examine him. “In some cases, a doctor will need to remove an obstruction or prescribe an allergy medication,” says Roark. If there’s no medical need to step in and you just want to stop the snorting, try gently massaging your dog’s throat to soothe him, or encourage him to drink water to help wash away any irritants.

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WHEN TO QUESTION YOUR DOCTOR It’s natural to just say yes to medical tests, but more screening is not always better for your health. If any of these situations come up, consider a longer conversation. coauthor of When Doctors Don’t Listen: How to Avoid Misdiagnoses and Unnecessary Tests. Quite often, a diagnosis can be made based solely on a physical examination and a patient’s history, says Brandon Combs, MD, associate professor of medicine at the University of Colorado School of Medicine and a senior fellow for medical education at the Lown Institute, an organization that works to make health care more personalized. Even though unnecessary tests can be harmless, discussions about them can eat up valuable appointment

C H A N C E S A R E YO U ’ R E fairly comfortable in your role as patient: You come prepared with questions, downplay the hours you spent Googling symptoms, and listen carefully to any next steps. But how practiced are you at questioning doctor’s orders when it comes to tests and procedures?

Not only are some tests unnecessary, but they can point a physician toward the wrong diagnosis, cause undue stress and cost, lead to further unnecessary testing, and even make your health condition worse. “Almost every test has some degree of risk,” cautions Joshua Kosowsky, MD,

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time that might be better spent addressing issues that have a major impact on your physical health, such as diet or smoking, or your mental health, says Combs.

The tests here are ones that you simply may not need or that may carry more risks than benefits. If your medical professional suggests one, you should feel comfortable asking some follow-ups.

QUESTION IT:

Imaging for first-time lower-back pain

R E L AT I N G

WHY IT MAY BE UNNECESSARY:

If this is your first time wrenching your lower back, imaging might not reveal the cause—and could complicate treatment. “If you take 100 random people and do an MRI [magnetic resonance imaging] of their lumbar spine, a number of people without pain will show the same abnormal findings as those with pain,” says Max Wintermark, MD, chief of neuroradiology at Stanford University. (One study found that 81 percent of adults with no symptoms showed a bulging disk.) Finding an abnormality doesn’t mean it’s the source of the pain, and treating based on scan results might lead a patient down a road of potentially unhelpful interventions, including surgery. At best, imaging results likely won’t change the treatment recommendation: In many instances, doctors will prescribe physical therapy no matter what a scan reveals.

is often done first,” says Wintermark.

If more complicated imaging is required, your doctor may decide between an MRI, which reveals soft-tissue or ligament damage, and a CT (computed tomography) scan, which is better at revealing bone issues.

For conditions that progress slowly or may resolve on their own, your doctor may consider adopting a watch-and-wait policy. Ask, “What would happen if we did nothing at this time?”

QUESTION IT:

Annual or biannual dental X-rays WHY IT MAY BE UNNECESSARY:

All dental X-rays involve ionizing radiation, which can increase the risk of thyroid cancer, “although the risk is still quite low,” says Charles Emerson, MD, president-elect of the American Thyroid Association.

But while the dose and risk are small, a recent study found that the more dental X-rays a person had, the more likely she was to develop

a meningioma, a brain tumor that can lead to vision changes and seizures. Bottom line: You don’t want unnecessary radiation exposure.

That’s why the revised guidelines from the American Dental Association (ADA) state that if you’ve had no evidence of decay or gum disease for several years, you can go two to three years between bitewing X-rays (images of the lower and upper crown teeth), since that’s about how long it takes for cavities to progress, says Sharon Brooks, DDS, a spokesperson for the ADA. WHAT TO TRY INSTEAD: Visit your dentist every six months to a year for a cleaning and oral examination.

If she detects evidence of decay or gum disease and wants to do X-rays, ask about digital X-rays, which reduce the amount of radiation exposure by 40 to 60 percent compared with the film type.

WHEN TO SAY YES: You may need bitewing X-rays more often if you have swelling or pain or are on medication that produces a dry mouth. (Saliva is good for your teeth because it neutralizes cavitycausing acid.)

QUESTION IT:

WHAT TO TRY INSTEAD:

Annual Pap smear

A combination of rest, antiinflammatory medication, and physical therapy for six weeks.

Revisit the option of imaging only if pain has not improved.

WHEN TO SAY YES: If you have red flags such as numbness or osteoporosis, imaging may be necessary. “In that case, an X-ray

WHY IT MAY BE UNNECESSARY:

For decades, teens and women were advised to get an annual Pap smear, a lab test that looks for atypical cervical cells that could become cancerous. In 2013, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) changed that

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WHEN TO SAY YES: If you’ve switched doctors and can’t recall the date of your last Pap smear, your new doctor may decide to do one to be safe. And you may need more frequent Pap screenings if you have a history of cervical cancer or a weakened immune system.

QUESTION IT:

A CT scan for headache or mild head trauma WHY IT MAY BE UNNECESSARY:

While CT scans of the brain can reveal a lot—whether you have bleeding or a stroke risk, for example—mild headaches, fainting spells, and mild head injuries don’t

necessitate a CT scan. It’s worth being cautious, because one brain CT delivers a radiation dose equal to eight months of background exposure (the daily exposure we all get from the sun, soil, rocks, and other things in our environment).

WHAT TO TRY INSTEAD: Doctors can often rule out serious injuries and conditions by doing a thorough neurological examination and getting a full medical history.

WHEN TO SAY YES: You’ll want to be especially wary if you have any of these symptoms: confusion, vomiting, or unconsciousness.

If you do, an imaging test may be necessary, says Wintermark.

QUESTION IT:

FSH test to diagnose perimenopause WHY IT MAY BE UNNECESSARY:

Doctors sometimes perform tests just because that’s what they’ve been trained to do or because they think that’s what a patient wants, says Jerome Hoffman, MD, professor emeritus of medicine at UCLA School of Medicine.

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The test doesn’t accurately indicate whether you’ve entered perimenopause, the years during which your ovaries gradually stop producing estrogen. Though FSH (follicle-stimulating hormone) levels do rise when estrogen goes down, they vary on a day-to-day basis in women of all ages, so you could get a false positive or negative. Levy cuts to the chase: “It’s a completely meaningless test for perimenopause.”

WHAT TO TRY INSTEAD: Doctors can make a more accurate diagnosis by tracking your period frequency and length and watching for hormonally triggered symptoms, such as headaches, insomnia, hot flashes, mood swings, and sleep difficulties.

WHEN TO SAY YES: Your doctor may determine that repeated FSH testing is helpful to assess fertility if you’re trying to get pregnant, or to diagnose ovarian cysts or polycystic ovary syndrome.

R E L AT I N G

recommendation. “We have a much better understanding of cervical cancer than we did when the test was developed in the 1950s,” says Barbara Levy, MD, ACOG’s vice president for health policy. Experts now know that cervical cancer takes 5 to 10 years to develop, so getting tested every few years should catch new growth in plenty of time.

WHAT TO TRY INSTEAD: All women should visit their ob-gyn yearly for a well-woman visit, which may include pelvic and breast exams.

Women ages 21 to 29 should have a Pap smear every three years; women ages 30 to 65 should schedule a Pap smear and a test for HPV (human papillomavirus, which causes most cervical cancer) every five years, or a Pap smear alone every three years.

How to Question Doctor’s Orders

QUESTION IT:

Ultrasound to screen for ovarian cancer

R E L AT I N G

WHY IT MAY BE UNNECESSARY:

Ultrasound screenings in healthy women can show “abnormalities” that turn out to be normal, subjecting women to unnecessary biopsies.

“Ovaries make cysts for a living; it’s their job,” says Levy, who notes that your doctor may see a number of what turn out to be benign cysts on routine ultrasounds. (Biology class refresher: The follicle that produces the egg is actually a type of cyst, and sometimes the cysts continue growing, only to burst on their own after a few weeks.) Unfortunately, research shows that annual ultrasound screening does not reduce the risk of dying from ovarian cancer.

WHAT TO TRY INSTEAD: It’s frustrating that no good screening test for ovarian cancer exists yet.

If symptoms such as bloating, abdominal pain, feeling full quickly after eating, and urinary urgency persist or worsen, see your doctor.

WHEN TO SAY YES: If your doctor notices an abnormality in your cervix or uterus or that you have an irregularly shaped uterus, she may do an ultrasound, says Christopher Zahn, MD, vice president of practice activities for ACOG. Ditto if you have unexplained weight loss or gain, experience symptoms like those mentioned above, or are at high risk because of family history or a BRCA mutation.

QUESTION IT:

Yearly vitamin D test WHY IT MAY BE UNNECESSARY:

Certain people are at high risk of a deficiency, such as those who are obese or have dark skin. For everyone else, there’s not enough evidence that checking levels and taking supplements makes healthy

people any healthier, according to the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force. “Vitamin D is essential for bone health, among other things,” says Combs. “But in a person who feels well, research has shown that supplementing does not improve health, lead to fewer fractures, or help the person live longer.”

WHAT TO TRY INSTEAD: Eat more D-fortified dairy, soy products, cereal, fatty fish, and leafy greens.

WHEN TO SAY YES: If you’re pregnant or at risk of osteoporosis, your doctor may want to test your levels and prescribe supplements.

QUESTION IT:

Annual CBC and cholesterol test

Speaking up can feel strange—disrespectful, even—but remember that your doctor has your best interests in mind.

The goal is a frank, honest dialogue about your health.

BE ENGAGED FROM THE GET-GO. Don’t wait until the end of the appointment to speak up about symptoms or concerns, says Kosowsky. Showing you’re invested in your health will help make a discussion about testing feel more comfortable.

ASK WHAT THE DOCTOR IS HOPING TO LEARN. Try saying, “Explain to me what you think we’ll find with this test and how that result will help me.”

If she can’t articulate how the new information

WHY IT MAY BE UNNECESSARY:

If you’re healthy, feel well, and don’t have new symptoms, there’s typically no reason to get these tests yearly, says Combs. CBCs (complete blood counts) show the number of white and red blood cells and platelets, and in healthy people there’s rarely any meaningful change. The same goes for cholesterol. “Women who have an average risk of heart disease could get a baseline cholesterol check at 35, but the goal of the test is to gauge the risk of heart attack over the next 10 years,” says Combs.

“If your levels are normal, they likely won’t change in a year or two.”

WHAT TO TRY INSTEAD: Talk to your doctor about your risk of heart disease and how you can lower it.

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might assist you, it may not be a good idea to get the test, says Combs.

ASK ABOUT THE RISKS.

You deserve to know the pros and cons. If imaging is on the table, ask your doctor if she has consulted with a radiologist, and request a conversation with that radiologist to review why the imaging is necessary, says Wintermark. Don’t feel pressured to make an on-the-spot decision.

EXPLAIN YOUR POSITION.

If you aren’t receiving the answers you want, couch your decision in terms of medical costs or anxiety about getting screened, says Levy. You might say, “I get anxious when it comes to tests, so if it’s not absolutely necessary, I’d prefer to decline it right now.” Or try, “I’m attempting to manage my health care costs, so if this test isn’t absolutely necessary, I’d rather skip it for the time being.”

Your weight, diet, and exercise habits all play a big role, and stress may affect your heart, too.

WHEN TO SAY YES: For patients undergoing cancer treatment or with weakened immune systems, CBCs may be done periodically to check for infection. In addition, if you have symptoms of anemia (weakness, excessive bruising), a CBC can confirm or rule that out. Q

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Modern Manners R E A L S I M P L E ’ S E T I Q U E T T E E X P E RT, C AT H E R I N E N E W M A N , O F F E R S H E R B E ST A DV I C E O N YO U R S O C I A L Q UA N DA R I E S.

During my commute this morning, I noticed the guy sitting next to me take a picture of my bag and text it to someone. I realize I am probably breaking some etiquette rule by even glancing at his phone activity (very tight train quarters), but the whole thing really irked me.

Am I overreacting? Or can I ask someone not to take a photo without my permission?

P O R T R A I T BY S A R A H M AY C O C K

C.M.

How strange! Your minor etiquette breach notwithstanding, you wouldn’t have been out of line had you said, “I’m sorry, but did you just send someone a picture of my bag? And why?” There are so many possible texts that could accompany such a photograph, from alarming to humiliating to flattering to benign: “This is the purse you should snatch when we get off at Grand Central.” “Ugly, amiright?”

“I’m texting you a picture of this woman’s stuff just to drive her crazy.” “This is the gorgeous bag I was telling you about!” “You designed this, right?” “Hey, it’s your same purse!” Try not to be too paranoid.

It’s overwhelmingly likely that this was not a malevolent texting of your bag’s image. Regardless, it would have been courteous to ask your permission before taking such a photograph, which would also have occasioned an explanation. More than once I have asked, at the beach, “May I please take your

picture? My friend wrote the book you’re reading, and she’d be so thrilled to see it!” rather than snapping surreptitious shots of scantily clad people lounging in the sand.

About Catherine The author of Catastrophic Happiness and Waiting for Birdy, Catherine Newman has shared her wisdom on matters ranging from family and friends to happiness and pickling in numerous publications. She gets advice from her husband and two opinionated children in Amherst, Massachusetts.

My mother-in-law uses “princess” as a term of endearment for me, which really bothers me. I tried to explain this to her early in our relationship, but I guess I didn’t do a good job of it, because four years on she’s still using it. To me, “princess” connotes a person who is entitled or spoiled. I wasn’t raised that way, and I’ve never considered myself princessy. I’ve been grinning and bearing it, but now my husband and I are pregnant with our first baby, a girl. My mother-in-law is already using this term to refer to her. It is in direct conflict with how I plan to raise my daughter. How can I politely let my mother-in-law know that this bothers me? Or do I just have to suck it up?

C.D.

Terms of endearment can be less than endearing, especially if they are loaded with baggage. And lots of them are. When it comes to affectionate names for girls and women, plenty imply helplessness, excessive femininity, or a person’s status as something less than fully human: “baby,” “doll,” and, yes, good oldfashioned, well-meaning “princess.”

Context is everything. If you like it, whatever it is, great. If you know it comes from a good place and you can live with it, fine. (I am suddenly wondering how my teenage son’s guy

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friends feel about my calling them all “doll,” but that’s a concern for another time.) The stakes are higher for your daughter; you are advocating for a person who can’t advocate for herself. “We should brainstorm nicknames for the baby,” you can say to your mother-inlaw. “I know you like ‘princess’—and I know you use it to describe how much you treasure someone—but our society can be so hard for girls, and I’d love to come up with a nickname that has more strength in it.” Let’s hope that, because you’re starting early, a series of gentle reminders can eliminate “princess” from Grandma’s vocabulary before your baby is aware of it.

And if not? It’ll be a great topic of conversation as your daughter grows up: “Grandma calls you ‘princess’ because you’re so special to her, but I wish it didn’t make me picture someone waiting around in a diamond tiara to be rescued!”

You’ll doubtless raise her to be someone with plenty to say about it.

My husband has an uncle who is very health-conscious. At family gatherings, he constantly scrutinizes what people are eating.

For example, we were at a steak restaurant for a birthday dinner, and he was commenting on how “artery clogging” everyone’s meat looked (as he ate the steamed swordfish). Nobody in the family is overweight, and it is exhausting to have our choices picked apart.

Do I say something or just ignore it?

J.C.

Oy vey. I am of two minds about this tedious uncle-in-law. On one hand, the nicer hand, this might be what I call a “shovel in” kind of situation. Here’s a needy guy you might be fond of who’s got some kind of emotional hole he’s trying to fill.

So help him fill it. Does he want to feel superior? To be commended for his good choices? Shovel in— give it to him: “Wow! It’s no wonder you’re so healthy—you have the best diet of anyone I know!” Sometimes a little well-timed pandering can quiet a person’s need for attention, at least for the duration of a meal. On the other, less nice hand, it is not always possible to stomach such a generous course of action, especially if you’re not too crazy about this uncle. In that case, reassure him that you are people with a good sense of nutrition but that you know how to celebrate when celebration is called for. “I promise you we’re not eating steak and cake at home every night!” you might say.

Or, more simply, you could just say, “No nagging! I’m trying to enjoy clogging my own arteries.”

MAY 2017

I recently encountered a couple purchasing a new car battery at an auto-parts store.

They were very stressed and concerned about the cost, going back and forth with the clerk to make a decision.

I offered them the cash I had in my purse, $25. They seemed touched by my offer but were adamant that they couldn’t take it. Later, I thought I should have discreetly thrown it on the floor and pretended to find it, but I’m not that good an actress.

Or maybe I could have told them that someone had just done something very nice for me and I was paying it forward by helping them. What would you have done to persuade them to take the money?

I feel I essentially asked them to thank me without actually doing a good deed.

L.C.

You should not have pressed your good intentions any further than you did. Ideally, the battery buyers were thankful for your heartfelt generosity.

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But need is a complicated and private issue, and it is impossible to know from the outside exactly what you’re seeing, what it means, and what might help. In one scenario, the couple take the money gratefully, and everybody wins; in another, they feel humiliated by the public exposure of their financial troubles.

Your situation sounds like it was somewhere in the middle, but I can think of many people for whom an unsolicited handout offered by a stranger would be cause for shame.

You probably already do this, but I think it’s best to channel your generous spirit toward established organizations that help people with limited resources, or give money to a person on the street who is explicitly asking. It may not be as satisfying as solving a concrete problem that’s right in front of you—“Here is $25 for the battery you need!”— but you won’t run the risk of damaging anybody’s dignity.

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R E L AT I N G

Make new friends but keep the old Unless you happen to have kids who suck up all your free time, in which case, good luck.

Here, our complete guide to AFAC: Adult Friends After Children.

Written by Elizabeth Jenkins Photographs by Holly Andres

F R O M P R E S C H O O L through college graduation, you were surrounded by your friends. There were play groups, carpools, and slumber parties. Day in and day out, you saw teammates, lab partners, sorority sisters, and roommates. That perpetual contact made it possible to develop deep friendships, create new memories, and grow together.

But as adults, and particularly as parents, both consistency and proximity are much harder to come by. You are tethered to your children—sometimes literally—and understandably make them your first priority. “We fall in love with our babies, but they drain us emotionally and command our time

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and attention,” says Irene S. Levine, PhD, clinical professor of psychiatry at New York University School of Medicine. The fallout: declining invitations, staying home more, and connecting less. Maintaining existing relationships, much less forging new ones, is overwhelming and at times unappealing. “Time with friends seems like a luxury, but nothing could be further from the truth,” says Levine. “Strong friendships enhance our health and well-being. They make us better mothers, partners, and workers.”

In short, they’re worth fighting for.

Let our experts help you overcome six common obstacles.

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1.You’re a new mom and feel disconnected from your friends who don’t have kids.

M AJ O R C H A L L E N G E S : Your vocabulary has expanded to include words like “thrush,” and you’ve become somewhat obsessed with your breasts. It’s hard for your friends to relate to your new role, and it’s hard for you to turn it off.

H OW T O D E A L : You are naturally going to gravitate toward new friends in the same life stage—all good!—but keep this in mind: “No one in your life has everything in common with you. Your new mom friends aren’t exactly like you either,” says Shasta Nelson, author of Frientimacy and founder of the women’s friendship site GirlFriendCircles.com. Remind yourself that you had a career and hobbies and enviable pop culture knowledge before you had a baby.

“My relationships with friends who don’t have kids are refreshing because we talk about something other than diaper blowouts,” says Ashlee Gadd, author of The Magic of Motherhood and founder of the blog Coffee + Crumbs. (Practically, it will help to hire a sitter for a few hours so you can talk without distraction.) “Other times I see myself downplaying my role as a mother and don’t want to admit that my kids have taken over my life,” she adds. Don’t do that. For these friendships to work, both people have to be open to sharing parts of their lives that the other person might not relate to. Says Gadd, “If I downplay motherhood, I am doing that friendship a disservice. We still need to be vulnerable and honest, even if at times it feels like we’re speaking a different language.”

2.Your closest friend lives in another city.

M AJ O R C H A L L E N G E S : Getting together requires travel, time off work, and childcare coverage. Even phone calls are hard. (“Hi! Me again.

I’m between work and baseball pickup. Will be in the car for 12 minutes if you get this!”)

H OW T O D E A L : Both Gadd and Melanie Dale, author of Women Are Scary: The Totally Awkward Adventure of Finding Mom Friends, recommend Voxer, a messaging app with voice functionality—like voicemail but with no dialing or ringing (i.e., no interrupting or awakening if your BFF is in a different time zone). You leave a message in the app—it’s free—and your friend can listen and reply at her convenience. “Voxer is singlehandedly keeping a lot of my long-distance friendships intact,” says Gadd. Dale also recommends finding what she calls “friend connection points.” Read the same book at the same time or bingewatch the same show. “Try to make

new memories when you can, rather than just reliving the glory days,” she says. It’s easy to stay in touch through social media, “but you can’t rely on it alone,” says Samantha Ettus, author of The Pie Life: A Guilt-Free Recipe for Success and Satisfaction. “Set a goal to have a quick conversation on your commute every other week. It doesn’t have to be an hour. No one has time for long conversations.

But if you don’t talk for six months, that’s when the idea becomes overwhelming.” Of course, the ultimate goal is to spend time together in the flesh, even if it’s just once a year for a weekend. “Getting away provides a totally different way to reconnect,” says psychologist Andrea Bonior, PhD, author of The Friendship Fix: The Complete Guide to Choosing, Losing, and Keeping Up with Your Friends. “You get a lot of bang for your buck emotionally.

You get the anticipation and the memories.”

3.You can’t find time to hang out sans kids.

M AJ O R C H A L L E N G E S : Unless your friends are coworkers, you aren’t finding large pockets of kid-free

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R E L AT I N G

time to catch up. Even a coffee date feels overwhelming when you’re this busy, and missing the kids’ bedtime for an evening event can be a heartbreaker. And when you do commit to something far in advance, it seems inevitable that one of your kids will get sick or someone will be stuck at work.

H OW T O D E A L : Adjust your expectations. A boozy brunch with your college roomie isn’t going to happen every Saturday, but a monthly dinner might, especially if you commit to getting a sitter. “The more consistent it is, the easier it is to schedule,” says Nelson, who has dinner with the same girlfriends every six weeks at the same restaurant. “It’s easier if people know what to expect and don’t have to research new places. Plus, our higher value is seeing each other, not becoming foodies.” Put the next date on the calendar while you’re paying the bill; don’t waste time with a group email the next day.

Dates need not be glamorous, says

Bonior: “No time for a leisurely dinner? Well, do you both shop at Costco?” Catch up while you’re pushing shopping carts. When her kids were in preschool for only a few hours a day, Bonior found a way to hang out with other moms and be productive at the same time—by sitting side by side, folding laundry (yes, one person brought her clean laundry over) or clearing out their email inboxes. “It worked so beautifully,” she says.

4. Trying to befriend parents at your kid’s school feels like dating.

M AJ O R C H A L L E N G E S : Just because you all have a first grader and a diorama project in progress doesn’t mean you have anything else in common. Initiating conversations— much less invitations—is daunting.

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H OW T O D E A L : “One of the biggest obstacles is the mistaken perception that everyone already has their friends,” says Levine. “We become self-conscious about approaching new people. We worry that we won’t be liked, that we’ll be rejected, or that we’ll seem needy.” But if you long for friends in the same life stage, school is a jackpot—you will likely be with this crew for many years—so put your insecurities aside. Also, it’s extremely helpful to have a few parents in each of your children’s classes whom you can count on, for everything from logistical needs (“Running late for pickup!”) to social quandaries in your kid’s class. “In the beginning of the year, you need to be deliberate about finding two or three friends,” says Ettus. “Look around and say, ‘Who here has similar values as me and my family?’” To figure that out, Bonior encourages a little reconnaissance: “Go beyond small talk. If you’re talking about sitters, maybe say, ‘It would be so nice to have family in town to help. Do you have family close by?’” In Frientimacy, Nelson explains that the three requirements of friendship are positivity, consistency, and vulnerability—in that order. “Smile at each other.

Compliment her jacket. Offer to give her child a ride home,” says Nelson. The more positive interactions that take place, the easier it is for a friendship to blossom. Nelson believes people need to get together six to eight times before they consider themselves friends. “If I was dating romantically and had a great date with someone, I would be shocked if the other person said, ‘That was great; let’s do it again in six months,’” says Nelson. “We give increased momentum to new dating relationships but not friendships.

Many friendships never happen because we don’t schedule an event, and you can’t get to the vulnerability and intimacy without putting in the time.”

5.The kids don’t get along—or your husbands can’t connect.

6.You’ve simply grown apart since having kids.

M AJ O R C H A L L E N G E S : Someone you considered a close friend before you had children is now merely an acquaintance. It may be because your kids aren’t the same age or don’t attend the same school, or perhaps it’s because your parenting styles are vastly different and you don’t always agree with (or understand) her methods.

H OW T O D E A L : “A good measure of whether someone is a lifelong friend is: Do you want to spend one-on-one time with her?” says Dale. You might realize you were friends because you were in the same running club, but you didn’t actually invest a ton of emotional effort. It’s pretty easy to let that friendship go, along with whatever shared activity or interest you don’t have time for anymore. If you feel like you’re growing apart because you’re raising your children differently, try to work through it. Dale likes the “Wow, that’s so awesome” approach. “If another person tells me about her way of doing things, instead of getting defensive, I say, ‘Wow, that’s so awesome.

Tell me more,’” she says. Talk through differences when it comes to hot-button issues—screen time, sugar intake, language. Explain the limits at your house and ask how it will play out when the kids are at her place. “Be flexible and open,” says Bonior. If a friendship is toxic or burdensome— and fails the one-on-one test—it’s OK to phase it out. “Half of creating good friendships is getting rid of bad ones,” says Bonior. Q

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8 WAY S TO E X PA N D YO U R FRIEND PO OL Start with what you already enjoy doing; don’t put a round peg in a square hole. Then be consistent. “Being with the same people over and over is how you build camaraderie,” says Bonior.

WORK OUT and introduce yourself to the other regulars in the class.

VOLUNTEER in your kid’s class or get involved with the annual fundraiser.

TAKE WALKS near your house and meet your neighbors.

COACH your child’s team; get to know teammates’ parents.

PLAN A NIGHT OUT for parents in your child’s class and get acquainted over drinks.

FORM A CLUB for an activity you love, be it reading, cooking, or wine tasting.

BE OPEN to the mom you’d think had nothing in common with you. Take a chance.

RALLY AROUND a political issue you’re passionate about with like-minded people.

R E L AT I N G

M AJ O R C H A L L E N G E S : Just you and your friend? Bliss. Everyone else? Bummer. Maybe you have a bossy kid and she has a supersensitive one. Maybe age or gender differences are the problem.

Or the kids are fine, but the husbands sit there like bored teens.

Either way, family friction causes your friendship to suffer.

H OW T O D E A L : Certain families will never be the ones you rent a vacation house with. That doesn’t mean you have to give up on group gatherings entirely. “Choose an activity where the kids don’t have to be their best selves,” says Dale.

“Go to a big park where they can do their own thing or to a movie where they don’t have to talk.”

Use the situation as a way to teach life lessons. Nelson’s family rule: “Anyone who has developed a really good relationship with someone in our family must be valued,” she says. Kids need to learn to be nice to people they don’t necessarily love.

And if your friend’s child is mean to yours, speak up, says Levine.

Don’t forfeit the friendship because of conflict with the kids. If the husbands are oil and water, don’t force it. Stick to all-family activities rather than double dates and try to alternate them with girls’ nights out.

Everyone will be happier.

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Work & Money C A R E E R C OAC H

Delegate to Get Things Done

R E L AT I N G

When your plate is way too full, sharing the load is the secret to sanity. But delegating requires a leap of faith—and some serious people skills. Here, successful women reveal how to inspire your colleagues to want to take on your to-dos.

M O O D B O A R D/G E T T Y I M A G E S

Written by Kathleen Murray Harris

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DETERMINE W H AT TO D E L EGAT E Zero in on tasks that help your career.

First, take 15 minutes to write an exhaustive to-do list. “This allows you to clear your mind and shift your focus to action,” says Tiffany Dufu, author of Drop the Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less.

Assess each task against the bigger picture: Which will truly drive the success of a project or help you secure a promotion? “Switch your

outlook from ‘What needs to happen today?’ to ‘What am I trying to achieve?’ ” advises Dufu.

Schedule your time.

There are only 24 hours in a day—and you need to sleep. Seeing your full to-do list will make you think, “When am I actually going to do all this?” says Mary Jane Nirdlinger, assistant town manager of Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Answer that question by using your calendar to plan and

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schedule your tasks— factoring in time for brain prep, eating, and checking email—just as you would a meeting, she says. Pad those time blocks, too. “We tend to underestimate how long it takes to get things done,” says Dufu.

You’ll quickly realize you can fit in only so much.

“And if something is still a priority, you’ll have to find someone else to do it,” says Nirdlinger.

Prioritize tasks that only you can do.

These aren’t things you can necessarily do better; they’re things that only you have the skills,

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network, or political savvy to handle, says Dufu. “You might be the only one who can give the speech, but you can ask for help with preparing your presentation slides,” she says. Keep whatever requires your distinct point of view.

“I would never delegate anything that demands true authenticity, like my voice in my writing or control over my menu,” says Vivian Howard, a chef in Kinston, North Carolina,

J E D R Z E J K A M I N S K I / E Y E E M /G E T T Y I M A G E S

R E L AT I N G

Assess each task against the bigger picture: Which will truly drive the success of a project?

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and the author of the cookbook Deep Run Roots. Avoid delegating tasks you really enjoy doing, however trivial. “Those contribute to your overall job happiness,” says Nirdlinger. Maybe you love to book your own business-trip flights (and are super picky about layovers).

A SS I G N E F F EC T I V E LY Discover everyone’s superpower.

Take the time to better know your teammates and their unique skills.

“Every nurse has an individual awesome trait, whether that’s demystifying medical jargon for patients or being the best blood draw,” says former psychiatric nurse Elizabeth Scala, author of Stop Nurse Burnout. Once you’ve found your PowerPoint guru or cold-call pro, it’s easier to entrust the person with that signature task.

Pinpoint growth opportunities.

Give everyone the chance to shine.

“Delegation is not just about you. It’s about empowering people to grow and try something new,” says Nirdlinger.

“If you can’t stop being busy long enough to delegate, you’re holding your team back.” Ask yourself, “Who could really benefit from this experience or this challenge?” says Laura Vanderkam, author of I Know How She Does It. If there’s someone who would learn from exposure to a new department, send her to a meeting in your place.

Ask for volunteers.

“Sometimes we are so mired in our busyness that we don’t step back and see who is around to help,” says Nirdlinger. She recommends saying to your team, “I’m feeling overwhelmed. Is there anything you notice me doing that you think you could assist with?”

People like to be helpful, says Nirdlinger: “It makes them feel valued.” As volunteer coordinator for Habitat for Humanity in Knoxville, Tennessee, Trinity Edgar solicits feedback and asks volunteers what task they’d like to take on. “We want to make sure they’re

comfortable while pushing them to expand their comfort level,” she says.

Delegate in all directions, including up.

Sometimes a peer is the best person for the job at hand; sometimes a task that would take you hours can be done by a manager with one

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call. Let the person know that her expertise or involvement is going to lead to a company win. “Be mindful of your language,” says Lindsey Pollak, author of Becoming the Boss.

Use the word “support,” “assistance,” or “guidance” instead of “delegate.” To a peer, Dufu suggests saying, “I could really use your support to solve this problem.

Can you attend these

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three meetings in my place and provide your keen insight?” To a manager, say, “Your taking on these two things is going to remove some huge barriers for the project.” You’re not moving to-dos off your plate; you’re expressing what needs to be done to hit this assignment out of the ballpark.

D AV I E S A N D S TA R R /G E T T Y I M A G E S

R E L AT I N G

Ask yourself, “Who could really benefit from this experience or this challenge?”

P O R T R A I T BY S A R A H M AY C O C K

Lay out clear expectations.

Clarity is vital when you delegate any task.

“Explain exactly what you need and agree on the output,” says Stacy Brown-Philpot, CEO of TaskRabbit. Be specific (does “ASAP” mean by tomorrow or by 5 p.m. today?) and don’t assume someone is going to do the task the way you naturally would. “Different generations use different tools,” says Pollak.

If you want someone to handwrite a thankyou note rather than send an email, say precisely that.

Show, don’t tell.

Demonstrate what success looks like. “Listening in on a sales call and hearing exactly what you say and how you respond is usually better training than any script,” says Pollak.

Or give your coworker five examples of what excellence looks like and examples of what not to do. After this person has shadowed you for some time, says Scala, be forthcoming and ask, “Do you feel comfortable now to do it yourself?”

Advertise the upside to every task.

Let’s be honest: Few people are thrilled by the idea of booking a conference room or organizing a supply room. Even if your request is not sexy, express it with enthusiasm. “People are hungry to learn and eager to help when the ask is positioned as an opportunity,” says Dufu. For example, if you need someone to take notes in an executive meeting, say, “This meeting is a chance for you to get a window into the politics of this company. I would love for you to attend and take notes.” Howard adds a reminder: “Being a delegator is not being a dictator. Be nice about it.”

A SS E SS W H E T H E R I T’ S WORKING Decide how you’re going to check in.

Once you’ve transferred ownership, determine how you’ll get updates. “Set

something up that works with both your personalities,” says Nirdlinger. Create a timeline and be specific about what you expect at each checkpoint, says Brown-Philpot.

Troubleshoot together.

If the delegating isn’t going well, be up front about what’s not working. Ask a series of honest questions: “Did you have all the information you needed?”

“Do you need training?”

“Is this something you feel comfortable doing?” Participate in the solution to turn the conversation from defensive to tactical, says Nirdlinger.

Roll with it.

Every now and then, you just have to compromise. “Sometimes I can’t articulate my vision in a way that’s understandable,” says Howard. “You have to be open to other people’s way of doing things and make tweaks along the way.”

Even if the task wasn’t done perfectly, if it gave you time to focus on another important project or leave early enough to hit the gym or tuck in the kids, that’s a definite win.

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ASK BUCKY TIME INC.’S* ALL-KNOWING, STRAIGHTSHOOTING SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT OF TALENT MANAGEMENT, BUCKY KEADY, TACKLES YOUR WORKPLACE CONUNDRUMS.

I’d like to see my therapist during my lunch break, but I don’t want my boss to know.

I don’t think you have to be completely transparent when you need a bit more personal time. You can be appropriately vague. Say to your boss, “Once a week, I need to take a slightly longer lunch for personal reasons. I’ll make up the time by coming in earlier or staying later that day, and you know me well enough to know that the quality of my work won’t be affected.” Your boss should be professional enough not to press. But there are some who do pry. If that happens, you’ve got to feel sufficiently comfortable to talk it through a little more. If not, and if your company has an HR department, now is the time to go there—not to rat out your boss but to say, “This is what I’ve done so far. How do you suggest I approach this from here?”

GOT A QUESTION FOR BUCKY? SEND IT TO ASKBUCKY@REALSIMPLE.COM. * TIME INC. IS THE PARENT COMPANY OF REAL SIMPLE.

R E L AT I N G

C O M M U N I C AT E T H E TA S K

“People are hungry to learn and eager to help when the ask is positioned as an opportunity.”

LO O K I N G F O RWA R D

Put your tax refund to work

If you’re ready to invest DO THIS: Turn things over to a robo adviser.

If you’re just starting out DO THIS: Focus on paying off debts.

Use your refund to pay off high-interest accounts like credit cards, says Brittney Castro, founder and CEO of Financially Wise Women, a financialplanning firm in Los Angeles. Next, Castro says, “create an emergency fund to guard against having to pull from long-term investments—and incur penalties—later.” Shoot to save three to six months’ worth of payments for necessities such as rent, food, utilities, and your car.

If you want to further your career

If you recently had kids

DO THIS: Look into continuing education.

DO THIS: Contribute to a 529

college savings plan.

You’ll pay no federal or (usually) state taxes on returns or your withdrawals for IRS-approved education expenses.

And you might be able to deduct your contribution amount from your state income tax, says New York City financial expert Wallis Wilkinson Tsai.

Each state has its own plan, but you’re not limited to your state. (You could live in Florida, contribute to a plan in Utah, and send your child to college in New York.) Look for a plan with low fees and good investment performance; Tsai cites Utah’s plan and New York’s Direct Plan as two solid choices. Check tax rules: If your state gives a tax benefit only for its own plan, include that in your comparison. To compare plans, visit savingforcollege.com.

MAY 2017

Just be sure to assess your return on investment before committing, says Tsai. How? Let’s say you’ve been working in marketing but you’re interested in coding. “A lot of coding schools have statistics about their job placements,” she says. “And talk to alumni and people who do what you want to do and ask them if classes would get you where you want to be.”

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It’s an online, automated wealthmanagement service that will do the investing for you. “Robo advisers make it easy to open a standard brokerage account and invest your money into their predetermined portfolios,” says Castro.

She recommends some human interaction, at least in the beginning.

Consider hiring a certified financial planner to help you set up everything and settle on an overall investment strategy, she says.

Some robo advisers, like Ellevest, Betterment, and Wealthfront, offer financial planning with their service.

If you’re nearing retirement DO THIS: Increase contributions to your retirement plan.

“Once you’re 50, you’re permitted to contribute more to retirement plans, so take advantage,” says Tsai. If you can participate in a plan at work, consider upping your contribution in line with your tax refund (assuming you don’t already contribute the maximum amount allowed). Whether or not you have a plan at work, think about putting your tax refund into a traditional IRA or Roth IRA—but first check IRS rules to understand your eligibility, recommends Tsai.

G P K I D D/G E T T Y I M A G E S

R E L AT I N G

The average taxpayer gets back more than $3,000. It can be tempting to spend that check on a serious splurge, but investing your windfall is the smarter play.

EIGHTY SEVEN The Fidelity Retirement Score.

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The trademarks and/or service marks appearing above are the property of FMR LLC and may be registered.

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How they do it We asked five notables: What’s your trick for transitioning from work to home?

Laysha Ward, 49, executive vice president and chief external engagement officer for Target

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“I find listening to music after work to be a great way for me to stay present and unwind. Right now I’m really into the Hamilton soundtrack.

I also take breaks during the day to be active. I’ll step away for 5 to 15 minutes. When I was more junior, this was something I would not give myself permission to do.

But if you’re not taking care of yourself, it’s difficult to go home and take care of others.”

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2 Viet Thanh Nguyen, 46, professor and author of Pulitzer Prize–winning novel The Sympathizer

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“It’s always been a real struggle for me to balance work and home life.

After being away on a book tour for several weeks or months, I make it a point to be with my wife and my son, who is 3½. My wife and I also need time to spend together as a couple, so we go out to a play, just the two of us. Doing so helps us recharge emotionally.”

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3 Amada Cruz, 56, CEO and director of the Phoenix Art Museum “In my field, half the work is social networking.

There’s a fine line between my work life and my personal life, and sometimes that line is very porous. Technology can make it difficult to disconnect, so after a certain hour I won’t look at my phone, and I unplug on Sundays when I can.

The trick for me is balancing my work life, which can be all-encompassing, with my personal life.

I very consciously set aside time to be at home with my husband. We’ll have dinner together, and there’s an agreement that we won’t talk about work. When I’m at home, I’m engaged in the moment and focusing on what’s in front of me.”

4 Maureen Chiquet, 54, former CEO of Chanel “When I was working at Chanel in New York City, I had this nice, long commute home. I would answer email, get necessary phone calls out of the way, reflect on the day’s problems, and then

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sit and meditate for a moment. The ability to find those moments to sit in the unknown is sometimes really hard. My commute home helped me with that. I hold the belief that more hard work isn’t always better work.

I would be hyper-focused at the office, but once I got home—even if there were still things on my mind—I tried to turn my focus toward my family.”

5 Daniel Lubetzky, 48, founder and CEO of Kind Snacks “The best thing I do is make sure that from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. I am home with my four young children. I really carve out the evening to be with them and read a book before bed. Those two hours are crucial for me. The more passionate you are about your job, the more danger there is that it will swallow you whole if you don’t have any clear guardrails. My guardrails are that I try not to take dinners or go to receptions or galas after work.”

Written by

Jane Porter

PHOTOGRAPH OF LAYSHA WARD COURTESY OF TARGET; PHOTOGRAPH OF VIET THANH NGUYEN BY BEBE JACOBS; PHOTOGRAPH OF AMANDA CRUZ COURTESY OF PHOENIX ART MUSEUM; PHOTOGRAPH OF MAUREEN CHIQUET BY BEOWULF SHEEHAN; PHOTOGRAPH OF DANIEL LUBETZKY BY POON WATCHARA-AMPHAIWAN

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© 2017 Landmark Vineyards, Kenwood, CA. All Rights Reserved. LANDMARK, OVERLOOK, the Stylized L, and the accompanying logos are trademarks of Landmark Vineyards or its affiliates. LV17224

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AHHH...

Sit comfortably and notice your breath. Breathe naturally but slowly.

Now set your phone’s timer for one minute, close your eyes, and count each round of breathing (a round is one breath in and one breath out). When the alarm dings, note how many rounds you did.

Set the timer again, only this time, even out the length of your in-breath and your out-breath. How many rounds did you do? There’s no right number. It’s just about making your breath the most interesting thing that’s happening at the moment. Once you know how many rounds it takes for a minute to pass, count them to amuse yourself while waiting in line or to calm yourself during a bumpy takeoff.

OFFSET

BY C Y N D I L E E , C Y N D I L E E .C O M

Photograph by

Alice Gao

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MEET THE MOM Dana Gentile, a fifth-grade teacher, lives in Hawthorne, New York, with her husband, Carmine, and their children, (from left) Jordana, 5; Gia, 6; and Santino, 4. “The kids spend a ton of time in this playroom,” says Dana. “It’s set up like a classroom so they always know where the games, books, and art supplies go.”

Inside the

D re a m i e st Ro o m Re fre s h W h e n a D E S E R V I N G M O M n e e de d a B E D R O O M O V E R H A U L , Re a l Simple pulled off a top-to-bottom makeover.

The finishe d sp ace is full of fresh ideas and some E A S Y D I Y s you can tr y in your own sp ace.

Written by Betsy Goldberg Photographs by Michael Wiltbank Produced by Rachel Weiner and Stephanie Sisco

X BEFORE

Brownish-yellow walls and a hodgepodge of dark, dated wood furniture made the room feel confining.

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AFTER

The bedroom feels lighter and brighter after the big revamp.

LIKE MOST HOMEOWNERS, Dana and Carmine Gentile had envisioned a master bedroom that felt like a restful retreat. But when they moved in seven years ago, most rooms in their house needed some fixing up—and this “small, uncomfortable space” landed last on their list, says Dana. “I’m a super-organized person, and seeing all our mismatched furniture and cluttered surfaces in this room pained me every day.

But we were set on putting the kids first, so we started with their rooms and common areas, like the kitchen and yard.” Finally, with those projects out of the way, the Gentiles were poised to tackle their bedroom when, last November, they received heartbreaking news: Their older daughter, Gia, was diagnosed with neuroblastoma, a form of cancer. Suddenly their time

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and efforts were overtaken by medical visits, treatment sessions, and fundraising. (In partnership with a local business, the family raised $30,000 for Cookies for Kids Cancer in Gia’s honor.) Once their story made its way to Real Simple, the editors swooped in to transform this mom’s cramped bedroom into a serene and airy space. “Sitting around in hospitals is so hard on your neck and back; we were desperate for a new bed to get a good night’s sleep,” says Dana.

“But this makeover went way beyond that. The colors are lighter and cleaner, and we finally have furniture—and systems!—to keep our stuff tucked away. The kids love coming in to lie in our cozy bed.

This room used to be just a place to stash our clothes and sleep, but now it’s our favorite hangout spot.”

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CURATE AN ART WALL

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S O F T S T Y L I N G BY R E B E C C A P U R C E L L . P R E V I O U S S P R E A D : FA M I LY P O R T R A I T A N D B E FO R E P H O T O G R A P H BY W I N N I E A U .

T H I S PA G E : H A I R A N D M A K E U P BY E L I S A F LO W E R S AT B E R N STEIN & ANDRIULLI REPS

A jumble of framed photos can junk up a dresser. For a neater, gallery-like look, switch to all-white frames hung a few inches apart. In this room, the bed was originally centered in front of a window.

We moved it slightly left to open up space, using the art wall to offset it.

DRESS UP A DRESSER All it takes is an easy drawer-pull swap to make a low-cost piece feel high-end.

Deep drawers made this Ikea dresser an ideal catchall for Carmine’s clothing; we customized it using leather pulls from Walnut Studiolo.

TO BUY: Hemnes 6-drawer chest, $199; ikea-usa.com.

The Hawthorne wide leather drawer pulls, $18 each; walnutstudiolo.com.

TO BUY: Framebridge custom photo frames, from $39; framebridge.com. Rubber Fig Ink Drawing by Kate Roebuck, $130 (12 by 10 in., framed); artfullywalls.com.

The Sassi by Amy James, $126 (16 in. square, framed); minted.com. Threshold faceted metal lamp base, $38; target.com. Amazon Echo, $180; amazon.com.

Hemnes 2-drawer chest, $100; ikea-usa.com. Gold modern clip lamp, $59; landofnod.com.

PAGES 128–129: Contemporary upholstered storage bed, $1,199 (queen), organic washed cotton Euro shams, $39 each, Mid-Century Circlet Ogee quilt, $149 (queen), and Bark Texture Jacquard curtains, $59 per 84-in. panel; westelm.com.

Amelie sheet set, $268 (queen); serenaandlily.com.

Marble Stripe pillow in navy, $224, and Floral Medallion reversible pillow in blush, $169; rebeccaatwood.com.

Washed linen throw in terracotta, $295; clic.com. Symple Stuff memory foam mattress, $460 (queen); wayfair.com. Real Simple down comforter, $130 (queen), Real Simple down pillows, $50 (queen) and $60 (king), and Bedding Essentials ultrasoft European square pillows, $20 each; bedbathandbeyond .com. PB Essential endcap finial drape rod in cast iron, $59 (medium); potterybarn .com. Gray New Zealand sheepskin area rug, $80, and gray metallic woven jute Alden area rug, $80 (2½ by 8 ft.); worldmarket.com.

Paint: Filtered Shade by Valspar, from $32 per gallon; lowes.com for stores.

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▲

THE VANITY: BEFORE A small table topped with a mirror served as a getting-ready station, but “it didn't match the rest of the room’s furniture, and the stool wasn’t sturdy,” says Dana.

She needed a prettier and more functional replacement.

CHOOSE PIECES X THAT HIDE CLUTTER Keep makeup and hair products neat and within easy reach with a vanity that has a lift-up top and interior compartments.

We placed the new vanity farther away from the bed, upgraded it with a chunky metallic drawer knob, and paired it with a cushy storage ottoman.

Brimnes dressing table, $100; ikea-usa .com. Threshold round tufted storage ottoman, $60; target.com.

Flea Market wire ball bin, $39; landofnod.com.

TO BUY:

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PLAY WITH SHAPES To offset a bedroom's bulky, boxy pieces, weave in a few round ones, like this circular metallic mirror and glass-globe lamp. Use Command strips to mount a clear acrylic necklace holder to keep favorites in sight instead of buried in a jewelry box.

TO BUY: Threshold 28-in. round mirror, $50; target .com. 11-Peg acrylic necklace wall rack, $10; containerstore.com.

AMP UP YOUR X ARMOIRE STORAGE Create a virtual linen closet in that empty space on top of a wardrobe by storing spare sheets and towels there, in a pair of woven baskets.

Pax wardrobe frames, $80 each, and Tyssedal doors, $120 each; ikea-usa.com.

TO BUY:

O P P O S I T E PA G E : B E FO R E P H O T O G R A P H BY W I N N I E A U

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GIVE SHELVES A STYLE BOOST Lining the back of a shelving unit with patterned adhesive wallpaper makes it look special and boutiquey.

Consider it your visual cue to keep this area tidy.

TO BUY: Rebecca Atwood x Chasing Paper Fleur removable wallpaper in blue, $40 per panel; chasingpaper .com. Komplement glass shelf, $25, Komplement pullout tray with insert, $35, and Komplement drawer with glass front, $45; ikea-usa.com.

THE CLOSET: BEFORE X

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SORT BY CATEGORY When you look at a closet as a collection of separate, smaller storage spots instead of a big black hole, it’s easy to assign each section one type of item so you can find things quickly.

We put T-shirts in wire baskets, ties and belts in divided containers, and pants in decorative bins. Structure the often ignored floor with a wooden box (ours holds sneakers) to squeeze in even more storage.

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T H I S PAG E : B E FO R E P H OTO G R A P H BY W I N N I E AU. O P P O S I T E PAG E : H A I R A N D M A K E U P BY E L I S A F LO W E R S AT B E R N S T E I N & A N D R I U L L I R E P S

Without much rhyme or reason as to where items were placed, the morning rush was a bit of a challenge. “Clothes piled up, and my pocketbooks were up so high that I had to pull over a chair every day to reach them,” says Dana.

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HOOK YOURSELF UP WITH A GRAB-AND-GO RACK The secret to getting out the door in a flash? Give your everyday essentials (scarf, hat, tote) a landing spot so they’re always at the ready.

TO BUY: Estique hook, $20; umbra.com.

OPPOSITE PAGE: Medium Sage & Silver Kiva bins, $13 each, Grey purse bin, $20, 3-section drawer organizers in linen and gray, $20 each, narrow 2-section drawer organizers in linen and gray, $15 each, clear shelf dividers, $10 each, large whitewashed wooden bin, $25, square twill drawer organizer, $5, and narrow 8-section gray drawer organizer, $15; containerstore.com.

Real Simple slimline flocked suit hangers, $30 for 50; bedbathandbeyond.com.

A BIG THANK-YOU TO THESE VENDORS FOR THEIR DONATIONS:

KEEP IT NEAT

• Amazon • Artfully Walls • Bed Bath & Beyond • Chasing Paper • Framebridge • Ikea • Land of Nod • Lowe’s • Mike Walther (painter) • Minted • Pottery Barn

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To make the most of limited drawer space, use a “fold and file” approach.

Divided inserts keep items from spilling over and becoming a big, messy jumble.

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• Rebecca Atwood • Serena & Lily • Snap Power • Target • Terrain • The Container Store • The Home Depot • Umbra • Vaccaro Electric • Walnut Studiolo • Wayfair • West Elm

Beach bodies come in all shapes and sizes—that’s why we sorted through hundreds of two-piece suits (yes, bikinis!) to find the 20 prettiest, most flattering styles for everyone. Now go make a splash.

IN THE SWIM

Written by Rebecca Daly Photographs by Claire Benoist Styling by Megumi Emoto

BEST FOR

FULL HIPS & THIGHS If you’re wider in the hip area, a bikini actually offers a lot more versatility than a one-piece. Pair a darker, solid bottom (this one is reversible to either shade of blue) with a bold, printed top, which brings attention upward. A generous brief will keep you comfortably covered, but look for styles with high-cut openings for the most leglengthening effect.

Patagonia Fair Trade Kupala cross-back top, $65, and Telu reversible bottom, $59; patagonia.com.

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BEST FOR

PLUS SIZES With a slightly extended cut—a long-line top and high-waist bottom—this cute suit offers support in all the right places. (Don’t sweat the horizontal pattern; the pretty pastels and soft wavy lines won’t widen your figure the way graphic black-and-white stripes can.) The scalloped edges aren’t just a pretty detail; they provide a smooth finish along the skin—no digging edges.

Swimsuits for All Archer bikini, $92; swimsuitsforall.com.

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BEST FOR

TUMMIES High-waist bottoms (which also happen to be one of the top swim trends of the year) work like Spanx to smoothly hold everything in from the navel down.

The waistband of this particular pair is designed to fold over, so the bottoms can sit right where you want them.

Eres Hoop top, $350, and Major bottom, $340; net-a-porter.com.

BEST FOR

STRAIGHT FIGURES A structured top with underwire and (removable) padding will add a boost to your bust, while retro-style bottoms help create the illusion of curves down below.

Tori Praver Zola top, $121, and Daphne bottom, $110; urbanoutfitters.com.

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BEST FOR

LARGE BUSTS No underwire? No fear.

This top has molded cups that offer ample support and shape (sans uncomfortable wire), wide straps that won’t bite into your shoulders, and a nifty optical illusion: the black-and-white pattern that visually minimizes your chest.

Cremieux scallop-trim top, $58, and bottom, $52; dillards.com.

DOUBLE THE FUN

See what makes a bikini flattering (and check out more great picks) at realsimple.com/swimsuits.

BEST FOR

TUMMIES BEST FOR

STRAIGHT FIGURES

MORE SUITS FOR E VERY

Sunsets Palmetto top, $78, and bottom, $58; bestswimwear.com.

Shan Bright Like a Diamond two-piece, $265; shan.ca.

High Dive by Modcloth Set the Serene top, $53, and bottom, $53; modcloth.com.

Tavik Jet top, $74, and Jayden bottom, $64; tavik.com.

Shoshanna Marine Eyelet Stripe top, $105, and bottom, $95; saks.com.

Tommy Hilfiger striped top, $40, and bottom, $40; usa.tommy.com.

P H O T O G R A P H S BY P H I L I P F R I E D M A N ; S O F T S T Y L I N G BY M A I T R A N

SHAPE

BEST FOR

BEST FOR

FULL HIPS & THIGHS

LARGE BUSTS

BEST FOR

PLUS SIZES

Marysia Mott top, $149, and bottom, $149; bikini.com.

Kate Spade top, $95, and bottom, $65; katespade.com.

Echo color-block underwire top, $69, and solid ruched bottom, $69; echodesign.com.

Seafolly Vintage Wildflower top, $122, and bottom, $77; seafolly.com.

Sunsets Unforgettable top, $78, and bottom, $52; dianebeachwear.com.

Becca Etc by Rebecca Virtue cross-back halter, $78, and hipster bottom, $58; belk.com.

Mazu Swim blouson top, $64, and highwaist bottom, $42; mazuswim.com.

AMI Clubwear halter and high-waist bikini, $45; amiclubwear.com.

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L.L.Bean Mix-and-Match bandeau tankini, $65, and midrise brief, $40; llbean.com.

better than the bakery Enjoy showstopping scones, sticky buns, Bundt cakes, and pastries without ever getting out of your pajamas.

rum-raisin apple Bundt cake

Recipes by Deb Wise

Photographs by Greg DuPree

Food Styling by Chelsea Zimmer

MAY 2017

Prop Styling by Claire Spollen

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walnutpistachio baklava nests

blueberry cornbread with ginger-honey butter

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herb and goat cheese popovers

chocolatecoconut-almond sticky buns

honey whole-wheat English muffins

everything-bagel oat scones

blueberry cornbread with ginger-honey butter

rum-raisin apple Bundt cake ACTIVE TIME 25 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 2 HOURS, 10 MINUTES SERVES 12

1 cup raisins ¾ cup plus 6 Tbsp. spiced rum, divided 2 tsp. baking powder ½ tsp. table salt 4 cups all-purpose flour, divided 1 medium Golden Delicious apple, peeled and grated (1 cup) 1¼ cups (2½ sticks) unsalted butter, softened 1 cup packed dark brown sugar ¾ cup granulated sugar 4 large eggs 1 tsp. vanilla extract ¼ tsp. ground cardamom

ACTIVE TIME 25 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 1 HOUR SERVES 12

walnut-pistachio baklava nests ACTIVE TIME 45 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 1 HOUR, 10 MINUTES MAKES 24

CORNBREAD 14 Tbsp. unsalted butter, divided 1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries 1½ cups plus 1 Tbsp. all-purpose flour, divided

½ cup roasted salted pistachios

1 cup fine yellow cornmeal

½ cup walnuts

oven to 350°F. Grease and flour a 15-cup Bundt pan. Combine raisins and ¾ cup of the rum in a small bowl and microwave for 30 seconds. Drain raisins; reserve rum.

PREHEAT

WHISK baking powder, salt, and 3½ cups of the flour in a medium bowl. Toss together drained raisins, grated apple, and remaining ½ cup flour in a small bowl.

BEAT butter, dark brown sugar, and granulated sugar in a large bowl with an electric mixer on medium until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating after each addition; beat in vanilla.

ADD flour mixture in 3 parts and reserved rum in 2 parts, beginning and ending with flour mixture. Mix just until combined. Fold in raisin mixture.

SPOON batter into prepared Bundt pan and bake until a toothpick comes out clean, 65 to 75 minutes.

MEANWHILE, whisk together cardamom,

1 cup of the powdered sugar, and remaining 6 tablespoons rum in a small bowl.

PIERCE bottom of warm cake all over with a fork and drizzle with ½ cup of the cardamom glaze; let stand for 20 minutes. Invert cake onto a plate and let cool completely.

WHISK milk, remaining 1 cup powdered sugar, and remaining cardamom glaze.

Drizzle over cake.

2 tsp. orange zest

1 tsp. table salt

6 Tbsp. sugar, divided

¾ cup granulated sugar

2 tsp. ground cinnamon, divided

2 large eggs ½ cup whole milk

1 17.3-oz. pkg. frozen puff pastry, thawed

⅓ cup honey

2 Tbsp. unsalted butter, melted

BUTTER ½ cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened

¾ cup honey, divided

2 Tbsp. honey

oven to 400°F. Lightly coat 2 12-cup muffin tins with cooking spray.

PREHEAT

PROCESS pistachios, walnuts, orange zest, 3 tablespoons of the sugar, and 1½ teaspoons of the cinnamon in a food processor until finely ground.

STIR together remaining 3 tablespoons sugar and ½ teaspoon cinnamon in a small bowl.

PLACE puff pastry sheets in a single layer on a lightly floured work surface. Roll out each into a 12-by-9-inch rectangle.

Brush with butter and top with sugar-cinnamon mixture. Cut each sheet crosswise into 12 9-by1-inch strips.

twist each strip and coil into a “nest,” first covering bottoms of muffin cups, then working up sides. Tuck ends into nests and pinch firmly to seal.

Place 2 teaspoons of the pistachio mixture in the center of each nest and top with 1 teaspoon of the honey. Bake, rotating halfway through, until golden brown, 18 to 20 minutes.

LOOSELY

1 tsp. grated fresh ginger ¼ tsp. table salt MAKE THE CORNBREAD: oven to 350°F. Place 2 tablespoons of the butter in a 9- or 10-inch cast-iron skillet and place in oven while it preheats. Combine blueberries and 1 tablespoon of the flour in a small bowl; toss to coat.

PREHEAT

WHISK cornmeal, baking powder, salt, and remaining 1½ cups flour in a large bowl. Beat remaining 12 tablespoons butter in a separate large bowl with an electric mixer on medium until creamy, about 1 minute. Add sugar; beat until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating after each addition. Add milk and honey and beat on low until just combined. (Mixture may look grainy.) Add cornmeal mixture and stir to combine.

REMOVE skillet from oven and tilt to coat with melted butter. Spread batter in skillet and sprinkle blueberries evenly over top. Bake until a wooden pick inserted in the center comes out clean, 35 to 38 minutes.

MAKE THE BUTTER: COMBINE butter, honey, ginger, and salt in a medium bowl and stir until smooth.

Serve with warm cornbread.

MICROWAVE remaining ¼ cup honey until bubbly, 1 minute. Brush hot nests with remaining honey.

MAY 2017

ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 1 HOUR, 5 MINUTES MAKES 12

2½ tsp. baking powder

2 cups powdered sugar, divided 1 Tbsp. whole milk

herb and goat cheese popovers

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¼ cup canola oil, divided 2 cups whole milk 4 large eggs 1 Tbsp. unsalted butter, melted 1 tsp. table salt 2 cups all-purpose flour 3 Tbsp. chopped fresh herbs, such as flat-leaf parsley, chives, and thyme 2 tsp. lemon zest 3 oz. goat cheese, crumbled (about ¾ cup) PREHEAT oven to 450°F. Place 1 teaspoon of the oil in each cup of a 12-cup popover pan or muffin tin.

When oven is preheated, place pan in oven for 5 minutes.

MEANWHILE, process milk, eggs, butter, and salt in a blender on low until smooth, 1 to 2 minutes.

Add flour and process on medium until well combined. Stir in herbs and lemon zest.

REMOVE popover pan from oven. Working quickly, divide batter evenly among cups, filling almost halfway. Top evenly with cheese.

BAKE for 15 minutes.

Without removing pan from oven, reduce oven temperature to 350°F. Bake until puffed and well browned, 33 to 35 minutes more.

honey wholewheat English muffins

raspberry crumb cake

ACTIVE TIME 25 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 3 HOURS, 30 MINUTES MAKES 12

everything-bagel oat scones

1 cup buttermilk

chocolate-coconutalmond sticky buns ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 1 HOUR, 15 MINUTES MAKES 12

1 cup packed light brown sugar ¾ cup heavy cream ¾ cup (1½ sticks) unsalted butter, divided 1 cup chopped roasted almonds 2 lb. prepared pizza dough, at room temperature

1 tsp. granulated sugar 1 ¼-oz. envelope active dry yeast

ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 35 MINUTES MAKES 9

oven to 350°F. Lightly coat a 13-by-9-inch baking dish with cooking spray. Combine sugar, cream, and ½ cup of the butter in a medium saucepan.

Bring to a boil, stirring often, until sugar melts, about 2 minutes. Remove from heat. Pour 1 cup of the sugar mixture into prepared baking dish; reserve the rest.

Sprinkle almonds evenly over bottom of baking dish.

PREHEAT

DIVIDE pizza dough in half; on a lightly floured work surface, roll out each half into a 12-by-10-inch rectangle. Melt remaining ¼ cup butter in microwave.

Brush dough with melted butter and sprinkle evenly with coconut and chocolate. Starting at a long end, roll up each rectangle. Pinch together seams. Cut each roll crosswise into 6 slices. Place slices, cut side up, in prepared baking dish.

BAKE, rotating halfway through, until golden brown and risen, 30 to 35 minutes.

LET COOL in dish for 5 minutes. Invert onto a serving platter, scraping any remaining sauce from bottom of dish onto buns. Drizzle with reserved sugar mixture.

TOPPING ¾ cup chopped pecans or walnuts

3 Tbsp. honey

2 tsp. sesame seeds

1 Tbsp. unsalted butter, melted

2 tsp. dried minced garlic

⅔ cup packed light brown sugar

2 tsp. dried minced onion

½ cup all-purpose flour

2 cups white wholewheat flour

½ tsp. poppy seeds ¼ tsp. black pepper

1 tsp. table salt

3 tsp. kosher salt, divided

Oil, for bowl and skillet

1 cup rolled oats 1½ cups all-purpose flour

¼ cup plain yellow cornmeal

2 Tbsp. sugar 1 Tbsp. baking powder

1¼ cups sweetened shredded coconut 4 oz. semisweet chocolate, chopped

ACTIVE TIME 25 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 1 HOUR, 10 MINUTES SERVES 8

½ tsp. baking soda

MICROWAVE buttermilk

¼ tsp. garlic powder

until warm, about 30 seconds. Stir in sugar and yeast. Set aside until bubbly, about 15 minutes. yeast mixture into the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the dough hook attachment. Stir in honey, butter, flour, and salt.

Beat on low for 2 minutes, scraping down sides after 1 minute. Increase speed to medium and beat until smooth, 7 minutes. (Dough will be sticky.) Transfer to a lightly oiled bowl. Cover with plastic and set in a warm, draft-free place until doubled, 1½ to 2 hours.

POUR

dough onto a lightly floured work surface and roll out into a 1-inch-thick rectangle. Fold into thirds like a letter, cover with plastic, and let rest for 10 minutes.

TURN

DUST a baking sheet with cornmeal. Cut dough into 12 pieces. Roll each into a ball, place on baking sheet, and pat into a 1-inch-thick disk, turning to coat in cornmeal. Cover with plastic; let rest until puffy, 30 to 40 minutes.

CAKE 2 cups all-purpose flour 1½ tsp. baking powder ¼ tsp. table salt 10 Tbsp. unsalted butter, softened

¼ tsp. onion powder

1 cup granulated sugar 3 large eggs

⅓ cup buttermilk 2 large eggs, plus 1 large egg yolk PREHEAT oven to 375°F. Stir together sesame seeds, garlic, onion, poppy seeds, pepper, and 2 teaspoons of the salt in a small bowl.

PROCESS oats in a food processor until finely ground. Add flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, garlic powder, onion powder, and remaining 1 teaspoon salt; pulse until combined. Transfer to a large bowl.

WHISK butter, buttermilk, and whole eggs in a medium bowl. Add to oat mixture; stir just until combined. (Mixture will be sticky.) Scrape onto a lightly floured work surface. Using floured hands, gently knead just until dough comes together, 3 or 4 times. Pat into a 9-inch square and cut into 9 3-inch squares. Transfer to a parchment-lined baking sheet.

WHISK egg yolk and 1 teaspoon water in a small bowl. Brush dough with egg wash and sprinkle evenly with seed mixture.

Bake until well browned and center is firm to the touch, 20 to 22 minutes.

2 tsp. vanilla extract ⅓ cup raspberry preserves MAKE THE TOPPING: STIR pecans, sugar, flour, and salt in a medium bowl.

Drizzle with butter and toss until clumps form.

MAKE THE CAKE: PREHEAT oven to 350°F. Lightly butter a 9-inch round cake pan; dust with flour, tapping out excess.

WHISK flour, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl. Beat butter and sugar in a large bowl with an electric mixer on medium until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes.

Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating after each addition; beat in vanilla. Add flour mixture, beating on low to combine.

TRANSFER ½ cup of the batter to a small bowl; stir in preserves.

SPREAD remaining batter in prepared cake pan.

Spread preserve mixture over top and sprinkle with topping. Bake until a toothpick comes out clean, 35 to 40 minutes.

a large nonstick skillet over medium; lightly brush with oil. Cook muffins until golden brown and firm, about 5 minutes per side.

150

5 Tbsp. unsalted butter, melted

¾ cup (1½ sticks) unsalted butter, melted and cooled

HEAT

MAY 2017

¼ tsp. table salt

REALSIMPLE.COM

raspberry crumb cake

Did You Do Something Different?

A surprising secret to looking as young and vibrant as you want to: THE RIGHT HAIR COLOR.

Make these subtle tweaks, then bring on the compliments.

PHOTO GR APHS BY

Fe l i x Wo n g WRIT TEN BY

Heather Muir Maffei

Richer Red Wake up watered-down red hair with a jolt of shiny copper.

Brighter Black Lighten just the ends to keep dark hair from falling flat.

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Honey-Kissed Brown Break up blah brunette with tinsel-like gold and amber highlights throughout.

MAY 2017

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Moodier Blonde Go back to your roots—having some depth at the base actually looks more natural and youthful. Yesss.

ACHIEVE A

T RY A

Richer

Brighter

Red

Black

How to get it

How to maintain it

How to get it

How to maintain it

Redheads have a lot going for them—it’s scientifically proven that seeing the color red increases metabolism and heart rate.

The downside: It’s the shade that can fade the fastest (even if you’re a natural!). “Red hair tends to dull as we age,” explains Los Angeles–based colorist George Papanikolas.

To make yours more vibrant, ask for an even, single process using a warm copper. Then get a gloss (it’s like a topcoat for your hair) to add shine.

“The dye molecules in red color are larger than those in other hues, and since they can’t penetrate the hair shaft as deeply, they fade quickly,” says Papanikolas. He recommends waiting 48 hours after dyeing to wash, shampooing a few times a week using a color-safe formula and lukewarm water, and applying a colorenhancing treatment. Try DpHue Color Boosting Gloss+ in Burnt Copper ($30; sephora.com).

“For dark brown or black hair, going one shade lighter than your natural base color always looks softer and more youthful,” says Papanikolas. Ask your colorist to add a few sun-kissed highlights to just the ends of your hair—this is a subtle version of ombré, called sombré. It creates dimension, which you need to prevent dark hair from looking solid. Another option: Go darker than your natural color, but only by one or two shades.

Since you’re dyeing the most damage-prone part of your hair—the ends—it requires TLC to prevent splits and brassiness. (This goes double if your hair is textured.) Avoid using hot water, which can cause the hair cuticle to open and lighter ends to fade. Dab a leave-in conditioner onto ends; try Schwarzkopf Gliss Color Guard ($5; target.com).

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FIGHT THE FADE

For six ways to make your hair color last longer, go to realsimple.com/colorsavers.

GO FOR A

SCORE A

Honey-Kissed

Moodier

Brown

Blonde

How to get it

How to maintain it

How to get it

How to maintain it

“Brown hair looks more youthful with a few honey and amber highlights painted on throughout the hair to give it a ‘bronde’ effect,” says Papanikolas.

Bronde—a shade that sits between brown and blonde—is best achieved by balayage, a highlighting technique in which a colorist paints on dye freehand, without foil or a cap, for a soft, graduated finish.

The goal is to prolong the tone of your highlights, since they tend to turn brassy or dingy.

Wash your hair with a violet color-depositing shampoo every third time you shower. Since purple is opposite yellow on the color wheel, adding it helps counteract brassy tones. Try Matrix Total Results Brass Off Shampoo ($13; ulta.com).

“Many women tend to go super blonde to mask gray hair, but this washes you out,” says Papanikolas. The trick to a youthful blonde is keeping depth at the roots. Ask your colorist for a base color to conceal grays (if needed), then highlight every three months, focusing on pieces around your face to brighten up your whole look.

To prevent your goldilocks from turning straw-like, shampoo less frequently, using a sulfate-free formula, and apply a moisturizing treatment, like Rahua Color Full Hair Mask ($62; sephora.com).

Air-dry when possible, since hot tools can weaken fragile hair.

When it comes to darker roots, embrace them.

Hey, that’s easy!

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H A I R BY Y U K I KO TA J I M A AT W M A R T I ST M A N A G E M E N T USING ORIBE HAIR CARE; MAKEUP BY JAMIE DORMAN USING D I O R S K I N S TA R ; M A N I C U R E S B Y J I N I L I M U S I N G C H A N E L LE VERNIS.

HAVE YOU EVER BREWED ICED TEA AT HOME? IT’S LIKE THAT.

© 2017 PURE LEAF is a registered trademark of the Unilever Group of Companies used under license.

food

Quick Cooking 161, 162, 164, 168, 172, 175

FEEL THE BEET

Don’t throw away the leafy tops. Sauté with butter and garlic for a chard-like side.

Healthy Pick 164, 172 Freezable 175 Make Ahead 149, 150, 172, 175 Big Batch 149, 150, 175 One Pot 166, 168, 172 Whole-Grain 150 Vegetarian 149, 150, 161, 172, 175 Gluten-Free 164, 168, 172, 175 Family Friendly 149, 150, 161, 162, 172, 175

C O O K W I T H C OZ I Get Real Simple’s easy weeknight-dinner recipes in Cozi, a free meal-planning and organizing app from Time Inc. (available on iTunes and Google Play).

DAILY TASTE

P R O P S T Y L I N G BY C L A I R E S P O L L E N

Go to realsimple .com/dailyrecipe to have new favorite recipes delivered to your inbox every day.

GR AB A HUNK

Parmesan near the rind has the nuttiest flavor and most crystals, so choose pieces with the rind attached.

D I G E ST T H I S

One medium artichoke has more fiber than ½ cup of prunes (that’s a lot!).

Photographs by Greg DuPree Food Styling by Chelsea Zimmer

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©2017 Lactalis American Group, Inc., Buffalo, NY 14220. Galbani is a ® of Egidio Galbani S.r.l.

our street cred is cobblestone.

Insp y pp ites Loved by American kids.

Galbani® cheese has been a part of Natural cheese Italy since 1882; in fact, it’s the #1 cheese brand in that country. Discover 80 calories our Grilled Crostini recipe and more galbanicheese.com.

7 atgrams of protein FRESH MOZZARELLA GRILLED CROSTINI

T H E T I M E L E S S TA S T E O F I TA LY

E A SY D I N N E R

1 Bucatini with kale and ricotta ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 25 MINUTES

Quick Cooking Healthy Pick Freezable Make Ahead Big Batch Slow Cooker One Pot Whole-Grain Vegetarian Gluten-Free Family Friendly

SERVES 4

12 oz. bucatini Kosher salt 1 bunch lacinato kale, stems removed, torn into bite-size pieces ¼ cup olive oil FO OD

4 cloves garlic, thinly sliced 1 oz. Parmesan cheese, grated (about ¼ cup) ⅛ tsp. crushed red pepper flakes ¼ tsp. black pepper ¼ cup pine nuts, toasted 1 cup ricotta cheese Lemon zest, for serving COOK pasta in a large pot of boiling, salted water until almost al dente, 6 to 7 minutes, adding kale during last 10 seconds. Drain, reserving ¾ cup of the pasta water.

HEAT oil and garlic in a large skillet over medium, stirring often, until garlic is lightly golden, about 4 minutes. Add pasta and kale, Parmesan, red pepper flakes, and reserved pasta water; cook, tossing, until sauce thickens and coats pasta, about 3 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Top with pine nuts, ricotta, and lemon zest.

PER SERVING: 652 CALORIES, 31G FAT (9G SAT.),

38MG CHOL., 4G FIBER, 22G PRO., 72G CARB., 199MG SOD., 4G SUGAR

Recipes by Paige Grandjean

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Quick Cooking Healthy Pick Freezable Make Ahead Big Batch Slow Cooker One Pot Whole-Grain Vegetarian Gluten-Free Family Friendly

E A SY D I N N E R

2 Hot chicken tacos with white sauce slaw ACTIVE TIME 20 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 20 MINUTES

SERVES 4

¾ cup mayonnaise

TOA ST YO U R TO RT I L L A S !

¼ cup apple cider vinegar

Holding with tongs, char directly over the burner on a gas stove.

Or broil in oven until browned and bubbly.

1 tsp. black pepper 1¼ tsp. kosher salt, divided ¼ head red cabbage, thinly sliced (about 8 oz.) ½ cup canola oil ¾ cup all-purpose flour 1 lb. chicken breast tenders

FO OD

½ cup buttermilk 1 Tbsp. light brown sugar ½ tsp. paprika 1–4 tsp. cayenne pepper 8 6-in. flour tortillas, warmed Dill pickle chips, for serving WHISK together mayonnaise, vinegar, black pepper, and ½ teaspoon of the salt in a large bowl. Set aside ½ cup of the white sauce for serving. Toss remaining sauce with cabbage.

HEAT oil in a large, heavy-bottomed skillet over medium-high. Combine flour and remaining ¾ teaspoon salt in a shallow dish. Dip chicken in buttermilk and dredge in flour mixture, shaking off excess. Working in batches, add chicken to oil and fry, turning once, until golden brown and crispy, about 3 minutes per side. Transfer to a paper towel–lined plate.

REMOVE skillet from heat and whisk in sugar, paprika, and 1 teaspoon cayenne, tasting and adding more cayenne to reach desired heat preference. Add chicken and toss to coat; transfer to a cutting board and cut into 1-inch pieces. Build tacos with slaw, chicken, and pickle chips. Serve drizzled with reserved white sauce.

PER SERVING: 975 CALORIES, 67G FAT (10G SAT.),

100MG CHOL., 5G FIBER, 36G PRO., 57G CARB., 1,471MG SOD., 9G SUGAR

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POWER LUNCH BETTER. alfrescoallnatural.com.

70% less fat than comparable pork products

Quick Cooking Healthy Pick Freezable Make Ahead Big Batch Slow Cooker One Pot Whole-Grain Vegetarian Gluten-Free Family Friendly

E A SY D I N N E R

3 Steak and beet salad with Cheddar and pistachios ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 25 MINUTES

SERVES 4

1 lb. hanger steak, trimmed and cut into 4 pieces 1 tsp. kosher salt, divided ¾ tsp. black pepper, divided 3 Tbsp. olive oil, divided 2 medium golden beets, peeled and cut into wedges FO OD

1½ Tbsp. white balsamic vinegar 2 tsp. honey 1 tsp. Dijon mustard 5 oz. baby lettuces 1½ oz. aged white Cheddar cheese, broken into pieces ¼ cup roasted salted pistachios, chopped SEASON steak with ¾ teaspoon of the salt and ½ teaspoon of the pepper. Heat 1 tablespoon of the oil in a large skillet over medium-high. Add steak and cook until deeply brown on both sides, 3 to 5 minutes per side for medium-rare.

Transfer to a cutting board and let rest for 5 minutes.

MEANWHILE, place beets and 2 tablespoons water in a microwave-safe bowl.

Cover tightly with plastic wrap and microwave on high until beets are tender when pierced with a knife, about 5 minutes.

WHISK together vinegar, honey, mustard, remaining 2 tablespoons oil, and remaining ¼ teaspoon each salt and pepper in a large bowl. Add beets and lettuces and toss to combine. Slice steak against the grain and serve on top of salad along with cheese and pistachios.

PER SERVING: 430 CALORIES, 31G FAT (9G SAT.),

83MG CHOL., 3G FIBER, 30G PRO., 12G CARB., 741MG SOD., 7G SUGAR

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Q FChew

something awesome.

Your new favorite snack isn’t just delicious; it helps increase organic farmland.

Introducing new Kashi Chewy Nut Butter Bars made with creamy almond butter and chocolate FKXQNV %XW WKDW·V QRW DOO ³ WKH\·UH DOVR &HUWLÀ HG Transitional. That means they are made with ingredients from farms in the process of transitioning to organic — no easy task. In fact, less WKDQ RI IDUPODQG LQ WKH 8 6 LV FHUWLÀ HG RUJDQLF So let’s do something about it. Every time you enjoy D SURGXFW ZLWK WKH &HUWLÀ HG 7UDQVLWLRQDO VHDO you’re not only supporting farmers in transition, you’re also helping to increase that 1%.

Learn more at Kashi.com/Transitional ®, TM, © 2017 Kashi Co.

Quick Cooking Healthy Pick Freezable Make Ahead Big Batch Slow Cooker One Pot Whole-Grain Vegetarian Gluten-Free Family Friendly

E A SY D I N N E R

4 Easy stovetop shrimp boil ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 35 MINUTES

SERVES 4

2 small yellow onions, halved FO OD

½ cup dry shrimp-andcrab boil seasoning, such as Slap Ya Mama Cajun Seafood Boil 1 lemon, halved, plus wedges for serving 1 head garlic, halved crosswise 2 Tbsp. kosher salt 8 oz. small red potatoes, halved 8 oz. andouille sausage, cut into 8 pieces 1 globe artichoke 1½ lb. large unpeeled shrimp 2 ears fresh corn, shucked and cut into thirds BRING 4 quarts water, onions, seasoning, halved lemon, garlic, and salt to a boil in a large stockpot. Add potatoes, sausage, and artichoke and boil until potatoes are just tender, 18 to 20 minutes. Add shrimp and corn and cook until shrimp are opaque, about 3 minutes.

Drain and serve on a large platter with lemon wedges.

PER SERVING: 345 CALORIES, 9G FAT (3G SAT.),

272MG CHOL., 4G FIBER, 44G PRO., 26G CARB., 1,802MG SOD., 6G SUGAR

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Quick Cooking Healthy Pick Freezable Make Ahead Big Batch Slow Cooker One Pot Whole-Grain Vegetarian Gluten-Free Family Friendly

E A SY D I N N E R

5 Pork chops with black bean succotash ACTIVE TIME 25 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 25 MINUTES

SERVES 4

1 tsp. chile powder, preferably ancho 1 tsp. ground cumin 1½ tsp. kosher salt, divided 4 8- to 10-oz. bone-in pork chops (about 1 in. thick) 3 Tbsp. olive oil, divided 1 small red bell pepper, chopped 1 small red onion, sliced 2 cups fresh or frozen corn kernels 1 15-oz. can black beans, drained and rinsed

FO OD

3 Tbsp. chopped fresh cilantro, plus leaves and tender stems for serving 2 Tbsp. fresh lime juice, plus wedges for serving PREHEAT oven to 425°F. Combine chile powder, cumin, and 1 teaspoon of the salt; rub all over pork. Heat 2 tablespoons of the oil in a large cast-iron skillet over medium-high. Working in batches, add pork and cook, turning once, until deeply browned, about 3 minutes per side. Transfer to a rimmed baking sheet and roast until an instant-read thermometer registers 140°F, 8 to 10 minutes. Transfer to a cutting board and tent with foil to keep warm.

MEANWHILE, wipe out skillet and return to medium heat. Add remaining 1 tablespoon oil. Add bell pepper and onion; cook, stirring often, until softened, about 3 minutes. Add corn, beans, and remaining ½ teaspoon salt; cook until heated through, about 2 minutes. Stir in chopped cilantro and lime juice. Serve succotash with pork and lime wedges, topped with cilantro leaves and stems.

PER SERVING: 522 CALORIES, 22G FAT (5G SAT.),

112MG CHOL., 7G FIBER, 49G PRO., 30G CARB., 1,182MG SOD., 6G SUGAR

D I N N E R M A D E E A SY Get this recipe delivered to your door with our partner FreshRealm! Go to freshrealm.co/rs23 and enter code RS35May17R for $35 off your first order of $70 or more, now until June 1, 2017.

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W H Y N OT T RY… ?

LEMONGR ASS

FO OD

With an unmistakable citrus-floral flavor, this woody ingredient—often found in Thai curries and Vietnamese dishes—may confuse the heck out of many home cooks. But it can play a regular role in soups, sauces, and cocktails if you stick with these easy ideas.

How to buy You can find fresh lemongrass at Asian markets and at some well-stocked grocery stores, too. Look for firm, light green stalks with a faint lemony scent.

Store in the refrigerator, tightly wrapped in plastic, for up to 2 weeks, or stash prepped pieces in a plastic bag in the freezer for up to 6 months.

How to prep First, trim off the dry ends.

Make a slit down the length of the stalk with your chef’s knife and peel away the tough outer layers as you would with a scallion.

Recipes by Paige Grandjean Written by Heath Goldman Photographs by Greg DuPree Food Styling by Chelsea Zimmer

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1 Fruit salad with ginger and lemongrass Simmer 4 3-in. pieces bruised LEMONGRASS, 4 ¼-in.-thick slices GINGER, ¼ cup SUGAR, and 2 Tbsp. FRESH LIME JUICE in a saucepan over medium-high, stirring until sugar dissolves. Let cool completely. Discard lemongrass and ginger. Toss 6 cups chopped TROPICAL FRUIT with lemongrass syrup and torn

3

Lemongrass beet crostini

Coconut curry soup with lemongrass

Line an 8-in. square baking dish with 10 6-in. pieces bruised LEMONGRASS. Add 5 small BEETS (peeled and quartered) and 3 Tbsp. water. Cover with aluminum foil and bake at 425°F until tender, 35 to 40 minutes. Let cool, covered, 20 minutes. Toss beets with 1 Tbsp.

OLIVE OIL and ½ tsp. each SEA SALT and FRESH THYME LEAVES. Spread 12 toasted BAGUETTE SLICES with 3 oz. GOAT CHEESE and top with beets. SERVES 4

Whisk 1½ Tbsp. chopped LEMONGRASS in 1 Tbsp. CANOLA OIL in a saucepan over medium-low until fragrant, about 2 minutes. Whisk in 14 oz. UNSWEETENED COCONUT MILK, 1½ cups CHICKEN BROTH, ¼ cup GREEN CURRY PASTE, and 2 Tbsp. FRESH LIME JUICE. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer 10 minutes. Add 3 oz.

THIN RICE NOODLES. Top with sliced FRESNO CHILE, RED ONION, and BASIL. SERVES 4

5

6

4 Lemongrass tartar sauce

Lemongrass paloma

Shrimp lemongrass skewers

Combine ¾ cup MAYONNAISE, 2 tsp. chopped LEMONGRASS, 2 tsp. chopped CAPERS, 2 tsp. DILL PICKLE RELISH, 2 tsp. WHOLE-GRAIN MUSTARD, 1½ tsp. chopped FRESH DILL, and 1½ tsp.

CHAMPAGNE VINEGAR. Serve with seared SALMON and sliced CUCUMBERS.

Bring ¾ cup LIGHT AGAVE NECTAR to a boil in a small saucepan. Add 4 3-in. pieces bruised LEMONGRASS. Remove from heat, cover, and let stand 8 hours or overnight. Remove lemongrass. Combine lemongrass syrup, 1½ cups each FRESH GRAPEFRUIT JUICE and SILVER TEQUILA, and ½ cup each FRESH LIME JUICE and SELTZER WATER. Serve in saltrimmed, ice-filled glasses with LIME

Combine 2 Tbsp. SRIRACHA, 1 Tbsp. each OLIVE OIL, ORANGE JUICE, and SOY SAUCE, and 1 tsp. each chopped LEMONGRASS and GARLIC in a medium bowl. Add 24 large peeled SHRIMP and toss; chill 30 minutes. Thread onto 8 8-in. lemongrass stalks; season with ½ tsp. KOSHER SALT. Transfer to a baking sheet with 1 sliced ORANGE. Broil until shrimp are opaque, 3 to 4 minutes. Top with FRESH

WHEELS. SERVES 4

CILANTRO. SERVES 4

SERVES 4

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P R O P S T Y L I N G BY C L A I R E S P O L L E N

FO OD

FRESH MINT. SERVES 4

2

mess

The most important meal of the day shouldn’t

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Milk messes with more people than you think.

That’s why there’s lactose-free LACTAID®.

It’s real milk, just without that annoying lactose.

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B I G B ATC H

Universal pesto recipe* ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 15 MINUTES

MAKES 2½ CUPS

2 tsp. kosher salt, plus more for blanching herbs

“look, i’m a balancing breakfast ”

8 packed cups mixed fresh tender herbs or greens, such as basil, parsley, arugula, kale, or spinach ½ cup nuts or seeds, such as pine nuts, walnuts, pistachios, or sunflower seeds 3 cloves garlic 1½ cups olive oil 2 cups freshly grated hard aged cheese, such as Parmesan or pecorino BRING a large pot of salted water to a boil. Fill a large bowl with ice water and set nearby. Add herbs to boiling water and cook until bright green, about 10 seconds.

Transfer to ice bath with a slotted spoon. When cool, drain and squeeze dry.

COMBINE herbs, nuts or seeds, garlic, and 2 teaspoons salt in a food processor; process until very finely minced.

DRIZZLE in oil with the machine running and process until smooth, scraping down sides of bowl as necessary.

ADD

*MIX

A N D M ATC H

YOU CAN USE ANY COMBINATION OF GREEN THINGS, NUTS, AND HARD CHEESE. PINE NUTS ARE TRADITIONAL BUT CAN BE PRICEY. TRY WALNUTS OR A COMBO OF ODD NUTS YOU HAVE ON HAND.

cheese and pulse to combine.

STORE in the refrigerator in an air-

tight container for up to 1 week.

Or transfer to resealable plastic bags and freeze for up to 4 months; thaw in refrigerator overnight.

TOSS with pasta, spread on sandwiches, or stir into yogurt to make a quick dip.

PER SERVING (2 TABLESPOONS):

194 CALORIES, 20G FAT (4G SAT.), 7MG CHOL., 0G FIBER, 3G PRO., 2G CARB., 321MG SOD., 0G SUGAR

Recipe by Heath Goldman Photograph by Greg DuPree Food Styling by Chelsea Zimmer Prop Styling by Claire Spollen

MAY 2017

CRUNCHY WHEAT. FROSTED SWEET.

FEED YOUR

INNER KID 175

REALSIMPLE.COM

ROA D T E ST

“ding goin’ up

JAMS Which won us over and which were toast? We tasted 174 different jellies, marmalades, and preserves to find out.

1

Written by

Heath Goldman Photographs by

CRUNCHY WHEAT. FROSTED SWEET.

FEED YOUR

INNER KID

1 BEST APRICOT

2 BEST GRAPE JELLY

3 BEST BLACKBERRY JAM

D’Arbo All Natural Rose Apricot Fruit Spread Made with only apricots, sugar, lemon juice, and fruit pectin (a thickener), this puree tastes exactly like fresh apricots—so you can enjoy this fleeting fruit all year long, not just during its short season.

TO BUY: $4.50 for 16 oz.; at grocery stores.

Smucker’s Natural Concord Grape Fruit Spread Sometimes classic is best; that’s certainly the case when it comes to grape jelly. Tasters preferred this one’s familiar, robust grape flavor.

Nothing beats its smooth texture in a PB&J. TO BUY: $3 for 17.25 oz.; at grocery stores.

American Spoon Fruit Perfect Blackberries This category ran the gamut from chunky to syrupy. With a texture like the inside of a cobbler, this not-too-sweet option fell somewhere in the middle—just right.

TO BUY: $12 for 14 oz.; spoon.com.

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P R O P S T Y L I N G BY W E N D Y S C H E L A H

Ralph Smith

2

5

“splash down ” realsimple

ROAD TEST

6

3 6 BEST MARMALADE

7

Sarabeth’s Blood Orange Marmalade Unlike contenders that tasted stale or onenote, this bright showstopper combines blood oranges, dried apricots, and pineapple for tons of juicy flavor.

TO BUY: $9 for 18 oz.; at grocery stores.

7 BEST FIG SPREAD

4

4 BEST STRAWBERRY JAM

5 BEST RASPBERRY JAM

Crofter’s Strawberry Premium Spread So fresh-tasting that it reminded us of homemade stewed strawberries, this champ had the perfect balance of fruit flavor and sugar. Others tasted bitter, as if they’d been cooked too long.

TO BUY: $5 for 10 oz.; at Whole Foods Markets.

Red Jacket Raspberry Jam Tasters loved this pick for its punchy berry flavor (just enough tartness) and some—but not too many—seeds. Spread it on an English muffin in the morning to wake up your taste buds.

TO BUY: $4 for 8 oz.; at grocery stores.

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Ficoco Fig & Cocoa Spread Ideal for a cheese board or hostess gift, this sleek jar is filled with intense, creamy dark chocolate mixed with sweet pureed figs. Try swirling it into yogurt or dolloping it on vanilla ice cream.

TO BUY: $7 for 9 oz.; at grocery stores.

NOW HOW ABOUT SOME BISCUITS?

For a quick video on how to make them, go to realsimple.com/biscuits.

REALSIMPLE.COM

CRUNCHY WHEAT. FROSTED SWEET.

FEED YOUR

INNER KID

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California Coast $1595 8-Day Fully Guided Tour From SF to LA with Yosemite.

California: Caravan Tour Itinerary

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Day 1. Your Tour starts with a relaxing two night stay in San Francisco.

Day 2. See majestic coastal redwoods at Muir Woods. Wine tasting in Sonoma.

Day 3. Explore Yosemite National Park.

Overnight at Yosemite View Lodge.

'D\ See dramatic vistas on the Big Sur, one of the world’s most awe-inspiring coastal drives. Visit Monterey.

Stay on Monterey Bay. Day 5. Spot seals resting along ocean beach, and visit historic Hearst Castle.

Day 6. Visit Santa Barbara, and enjoy Santa Monica Pier. Two nights in LA. Day 7. Explore Hollywood attractions.

Day 8. You return with great memories.

Detailed Itinerary at Caravan.com

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Choose an Affordable Tour +tax & fees Guatemala with Tikal 10 days $1295 Costa Rica 8 days $1195 Panama Canal Tour 8 days $1195 Nova Scotia, P.E.I. 10 days $1395 Canadian Rockies 9 days $1695 Grand Canyon, Zion 8 days $1495 California Coast 8 days $1595 Mount Rushmore 8 days $1395 New England, Foliage 8 days $1395

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BEFORE

THE ST RU G G L E IS REAL

Written by Annabell Gurwitch Photograph by Isabelle Wenzel

A BRE AKUP LE T TER TO MY PENCIL SKIRT I CHOOSE ME. (AND CROISSANTS.) L I S T E N, T H I S I S H A R D F O R M E . But I’ve got to be straight: We’re over. It’s not me...it’s you.

For so long, I was fooling myself, thinking things would change next week, next month, next year. But your hold on me is too tight.

You can’t give me the space I need.

I admit we had some good times. Well, come to think of it, there was just that one time. I’d had a root canal and hadn’t eaten for days. I was light-headed—you could call it hungry—when you caught my eye. You were just hangin’…so sleek

and slender. Right away I knew I wanted you.

I’d almost forgotten what happened that night. Remember?

I wanted to show you off to my friends, but I overdid it. I think I ate an entire cashew, and that didn’t sit well with you. Actually, you wouldn’t allow me to sit at all.

We had just met, and already we were coming apart at the seams.

I realize now that we were never a good fit, my Size 4 Silver Cotton, Rayon & Viscose Blend Pencil Skirt.

The truth is that from the beginning I couldn’t be myself around you.

And I didn’t want to see who you

MAY 2017

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really were. Where did you even come from? Who shaped you?

Every fiber of your being is an affront to womankind. You’re so narrow and controlling! I’m sorry.

That was uncalled for. You can’t help the way you’re made, and I’m the one who snapped you up and took you off the market.

I was unrealistic about putting your needs before my own—like, for example, my need for solid food.

I know, I know, everyone in our zip code has forsaken gluten, so why couldn’t I do that for you? Because of one thing: yes, croissants! I mean, they’re one of the wonders of the world—flaky bread that also has so much butter? That’s like giving up the wheel! I’m not sure why I’m even bothering to explain. You’ve never really liked my stories, because talking requires breathing.

My attachment to you has been my secret shame. I’ve never told anyone about our middle-of-thenight trysts in the privacy of my closet, me holding my breath the whole time, hoping this time will be different. I don’t want to live like this anymore!

So I’m setting you free, Size 4 Silver Cotton, Rayon & Viscose Blend Pencil Skirt. I’ll be dropping you off at The Way We Wore consignment shop. I hope you’ll find someone more appropriate— maybe someone half-human, halfscallion? And I’m not coming back for you. I’m done. Finished.

I’m returning to someone who really gets me, who allows me to be who I am, who’s always got my back (and front)—my always forgiving, and extremely accommodating, boyfriend jeans.

SOME SAY, “I LOVE YOU.” SOME BAKE CAKE. LITTLE HELPER, TREMENDOUS TASTE.