RS - December 2016

realsimple LIFE MADE EASIER

Our gift to you for a

50 GIF TS UNDER $50 FO R E V E RYO N E O N YO U R LIST!

PEACEFUL C SEASON

HOW TO WR AP ANY THING (E VEN A BIKE!) QUICK FIXE S FOR A CROWDED FRID GE 26 WAYS TO FEEL MORE SPIRIT— AND LE SS STRE SS DECEMBER 2016

25

GIFTS $ UNDER

7-PC. BARWARE SET

GIFTS UNDER

50

$

ADVENT C

FIESTA® MEDIUM HEART BOWL

4-PC. WINE GLASS SET

WINE OPENER

2-PC. STAY/GO MUG SET

3-PC. CANDLEHOLDER SET

DECORATIVE PILLOW

3-PC. GOLD

TRAVEL MUG

Products and pricing valid 11/8-12/8/2016. Sale prices effective when on sale. While supplies last. Selection

DAR

GiveJoy SHOW UP EMPTY HANDED? NEVER. Holiday party season is fast approaching.

We’ve got everything for the host and hostess at prices that are really something to celebrate!

CAKE STAND

ATED CHEESE SET

ry by store.

NOT SURE WHAT TO BRING?

Gift cards—in denominations from $10 on up—are always the right thing.

FAIR ISLE SHERPA THROW

SHOP IN STORE OR AT JCP.COM

“The holiest of all holidays are those kept by ourselves in silence and apart; the secret anniversaries of the heart.”

H E N RY WA D S W O RT H LO N G F E L LO W, “ H O L I DAY S ”

Photograph by Jesse Burke

DECEMBER 2016

|

REALSIMPLE.COM

© 2016 Estée Lauder Inc.

Enjoy life’s simple pleasures.

esteelauder.com

YO UR MONTHLY D OSE OF USEFUL TIDBIT S, TIMELY T RIVIA, AND C ATCHY CONVER S ATION STARTER S

4¢

39,000 FEET The height at which travelers aboard an easyJet flight from London to Geneva set the Guinness World Record for the highest-altitude carol concert, in December 2014. The 15-minute performance featured such classics as “Silent Night,” “O Come All Ye Faithful,” and “Jingle Bells.” Another high-flying fact: “Jingle Bells” was the first song recorded in space. In 1965 astronauts Walter M. Schirra Jr. and Thomas P. Stafford snuck five small bells and a harmonica aboard Gemini 6. As they prepared to reenter earth’s atmosphere, on December 16, they claimed to see a command module that looked an awful lot like Santa’s sleigh and launched into an out-of-this-world rendition of “Jingle Bells.” Hey!

Written by

Liz Loerke

1485 The year the first jelly-doughnut recipe was recorded, in the medieval German cookbook Kuchenmeisterei (Mastery of the Kitchen). This early iteration consisted of a bit of jam sandwiched between two rounds of yeast dough deepfried in lard. During the 16th century, when sugar became more accessible, the recipe evolved into the sweet treat that we know today. Jelly doughnuts became a favorite Hanukkah dessert in Austria and Poland, and when Jewish families emigrated from there to Israel in the 20th century, the doughnuts went with them. Today in Israel more than 18 million jelly doughnuts, or sufganiyot, are consumed over the eight-day holiday.

The cost of the first Christmas postage stamp, released in 1962. Despite controversy over whether religious-themed stamps violated the separation of church and state, the U.S. Post Office Department anticipated a huge demand for the inaugural Christmas stamp and printed 350 million, the biggest printing for a special stamp at the time.

That wasn’t enough: The initial supply sold out quickly, and by the end of 1962 1 billion of the stamps, which featured a wreath and two candles, had been printed and distributed. Since then the U.S. Postal Service has issued contemporary (i.e., secular) and traditional (i.e., religious) holiday stamps, including ones honoring Hanukkah and Kwanzaa, every year— except for 2000, when there were too many left over from 1999 to print new ones. Bah, humbug!

$2.70 12 The number of grapes Spaniards ritually eat at midnight on New Year’s Eve. As tradition has it, if you consume all dozen grapes (one for each month of the year) before the 12th stroke of midnight, you will have prosperity and good luck in the coming year. The custom is thought to date as far back as the late 1800s, but it didn’t become established until 1909, when there was a particularly bountiful grape harvest. To make the custom even more convenient, grocery stores sell tins of 12 peeled and pitted grapes around the holiday. To wash it all down? A glass of Cava, of course.

FOR A TWIST ON JELLY DOUGHNUTS

Visit realsimple.com/ cupcake for a jelly-filled cupcake recipe.

Illustration by

Clare Owen

DECEMBER 2016

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The national average cost for the Salvation Army to provide a meal to someone in need. The organization has been collecting holiday donations of change (and occasionally paper clips, game tokens, diamond rings, and, er, gold teeth) in its iconic kettles since 1891. Thanks to an anonymous donation of $500,000, $150 million was raised during last year’s Red Kettle Campaign, making it the biggest fund-raising season on record. Instead of getting a $5 latte, think about helping the 4 million families who receive Christmas assistance (ranging from holiday meals to gifts) from the Salvation Army. To learn more about giving during the holiday season, turn to page 32.

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12. 2016

FRESH HAIRST YLES FOR ANY LENGTH ......... 91

ON THE COVER Our gift to you for a peaceful season How to wrap anything (even a bike!)

112 Quick fixes for a crowded fridge 28 26 ways to feel more spirit—and less stress 174 50 gifts under $50 for everyone on your list!

39 Cover Photograph by

Stephen Lewis Prop Styling by

Rachel Haas FESTIVE CO OKIE RECIPES MADE E A SIER ..... 190

GIFTS GALORE

For hundreds more editor picks, go to realsimple.com/giftguide.

H O L I D AY H E L P A N D H A P P I N E S S , F R O M A T O Z . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 74

DECEMBER 2016

50 DELIGHTFUL GIF TS UNDER $50 ............................ 39

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for her & him: GIFTS THEY’LL LOVE TO UNWRAP

GIORGIO ARMANI For him: Acqua di Giò Profumo Eau de Parfum Spray, 4.2 oz. $130. Armani Code Profumo Parfum Pour Homme Spray, 3.7 oz. $110. For her: Sì Eau de Parfum, 3.4 oz. $120. New! Sì Intense Eau de Parfum, 3.4 oz. $125.

Dillards.com • 1.800.345.5273

BRAHMIN Joan tote, $335.

Arden satchel, $425.

Soft checkbook wallet, $195.

a The Style of Christmas.

PAG E 1 3 3

Life Lessons GOOD READ THE SIMPLE LIST . . . . . . . . . 2 NOW ON

Best-selling author Emma Donoghue on learning (and delighting in) the intricacies of living abroad. . . . . . . . . . . . 7 1

REALSIMPLE.COM . . . . . . 1 2

MODERN MANNERS

Compensating pet sitters, a forgotten birthday, and other etiquette dilemmas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Your Words

79

EXPERTISE

What inexpensive gift do you give that has a big impact? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 8

5 ways to gracefully join a group conversation . . . . . . . . .

83

the Guide PAG E 21 1

BEAUTY

the Realist DECEMBER AT A GLANCE

The bright history of holiday lights . . . . . . . . . .

25

FASHION

THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT

DECKED OUT

New styles for any length of hair . . . . . . . . . .

Real women in inspiring holiday styles . . . . . . . . . 1 3 3

91

5 EASY DINNERS . . . . . . 2 0 0

FAMILY

ROAD TEST

NOW WHAT?!?

Smart solutions for life’s little disasters . . . . . . . . . 2 6 NEW USES FOR OLD THINGS

Fridge space savers in a pinch . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 8 PRETTY PRACTICAL

Travel-size products

WORK & MONEY

ASK THE ORGANIZER

THE STAPLE

Artichoke hearts . . . . . . . 3 6

Heather Jassy, senior vice president at Etsy . . . . . 1 5 5

FEATURING 50+ GENIUS GIFTS FOR $50 OR LESS!

Plus a few splurges that we couldn’t resist including . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 9

211

THINGS COOKS KNOW

214

Chicken Tagine with Apricots . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 1 6

ASK BUCKY

Cursing in the office . . 1 5 6

THE VETS WILL SEE YOU NOW

Your vexing pet questions, answered . . 1 2 0

CREDITS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 1 8

MONEYWISE

#WOMENIRL

Strategies for holiday shopping . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 5 8

Your photos of the good, the bad, and the hilarious . . . . . . . . . . 2 2 2

MASTERING THE JOURNEY

Discovering the intersection of improv and Alzheimer’s . . . . . . 1 6 2

HEALTH DEALING WITH THE OTHER HANGOVERS

Annual Holiday Gift Guide

Endive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

BIG BATCH

AMERICAN VOICES

Clutter conundrums, solved. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 0 8 Four unusual (and fun!) ways to present gifts . . 1 1 2

Tartan plaid . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 4

Tackling the issue. . . . . 1 4 3

HOME

THAT’S A WRAP!

TREND TO TRY

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE”

PRETTY SMART . . . . . . . . 1 0 2

REAL SIMPLIFIER 32

WHY NOT TRY…?

“UGH, SHE’S BEING SO

.. 100

Ombré lips . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 0 How to choose a charity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Food

How to recover from holiday stress . . . . . . . . . 1 2 3

BREATHE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 6 7

Features WARM WELCOME

Tips to add a dose of cozy to your rooms this holiday season . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 6 8 OUR GIFT TO YOU!

Our jam-packed A-to-Z guide to fun, food, and family traditions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

1 74

I’LL BE ANYWHERE BUT HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

One family’s happy quest to leave the stress of the season behind . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

184

NOT EXACTLY COOKIE CUTTER

Seasonal sweets made easier, faster, and a touch more special . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 9 0 PAG E 1 6 8 PAG E 143 DECEMBER 2016

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my curls are

than the weather Pantene’s Pro-V V System Sy ys gives you weather-resistant curls by making your hair as strong as you are.

strong is

©2016 P&G

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EYES SHOULD SHOW STRENGTH NOT YOUR AGE A collection to fight every eye concern: Brighten, Depuff, Li , Smooth, or Ultimately, all of it. #AGELESS

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New on realsimple.com VISIT THE SITE FO R E XC LU SIVE IDE A S, TIP S, AND WAYS TO MAKE LIFE E A SIER—E VERY DAY.

WANT DAILY HOLIDAY INSPIRATION?

Get recipes, DIY ideas, and more delivered to your in-box.

Just head to realsimple.com/ holidaytreat to sign up.

DID SOMEONE SAY “COOKIES”?

Visit realsimple.com instead to see a bunch of new ways to put them to work for your holiday. While cookies bake in the oven, their festive stencils can

become napkin rings for your holiday table, ornaments for the tree, cake decorators, or a way to make special pancakes on Christmas morning.

Don’t believe us?

Head to realsimple. com/cookiecutters to see these creative new uses in action.

F O L LO W U S

Pinterest.com/realsimple

FAC E B O O K @RE AL SIMPLE

I N STAG R A M @RE AL_SIMPLE

SURE, THERE’S BISCOTTI (the Italian word for “cookies”).

But the Italians are also responsible for cannoli, pignolis, and a few more of your favorite sweets. Bake them for Santa, take them to a party, or save them for yourself.

Find all of the recipes at realsimple.com/italiancookies.

DECEMBER 2016

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L E F T: P H O T O G R A P H BY YA S U + J U N KO ; C O O K I E S BY D A N I F I O R I . R I G H T: P H O T O G R A P H S BY J E N C A U S E Y

D ON’T PUT AWAY YO U R CO OKIE CUT TERS J U ST Y E T…

Pies can be intimidating, cakes take focus, but cookies are a universally loved and easy-to-bake dessert for the season.

Lucky for you, we have a calendar with two months’ worth of delicious cookies. (That’s 61 recipes!) You’ll find traditional sweets as well as a few surprising recipes to try, like our Eggnog Bars and Matcha Financiers. Visit realsimple. com/cookiecalendar for all the recipes, and know that you’ll be the hit of the cookie swap.

IN-SHOWER BODY LOTION. NO STICKY FEEL. 24HR MOISTURE

1

Wash your body as usual.

2

Apply In-Shower Body Lotion on wet skin.

3

Quickly rinse off.

4

Ready to go.

FIND IT IN THE BODY LOTION AISLE NIVEAUSA.com Avoid applying to bottom of feet. Thoroughly clean tub/shower with hot water after usage to remove residue and avoid slipping.

Q. What inexpensive gift do you give that has a big impact?

A. A curated book assortment.

My best friend is not much of a reader, and I’m a book lover. Last year I created a “book every few months” club for her. I enjoyed using everything I know about my friend to handpick the perfect book, and she was happy to have a selection made just for her!

MEGAN SANDHAM, Surrey, British Columbia

FOR A QUICK PRIMER ON HOW TO GIVE TO CHARITY, TURN TO PAGE 32.

A personalized photo book.

Killer homemade chocolate sauce. @4ROBING

About 20 years ago, a coworker of mine donated diapers and wipes to a local women’s shelter in my name.

I was not only moved and grateful; it inspired me to be more connected to the world and to be more charitable myself.

ANGIE HALL, Prairieville, Louisiana

Illustration by

Dan Page

Handkerchiefs.

They cost just a few dollars and offer a comforting touch of elegance. They dry tears, dab brows, provide brides with something old (or borrowed or blue), and gently wipe schmutz from tender young cheeks.

Last Christmas I made my mom one online with pictures from all of the big events in our family throughout the past year. It was small, something that she could tuck into a purse and take around. She cried when I gave it to her.

M. BOATWRIGHT, South Carolina

My husband likes to grow a variety of hot peppers. One year we made spicy pepper-infused vodka for our friends.

It made the best Bloody Marys.

DEBR A OSWALD, Greencastle, Pennsylvania

DECEMBER 2016

JULIA SERDENIS SCHARTUNG, Annapolis, Maryland

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#freethefantasy

calvinklein.com/fragrances bon-ton

© 2015 Calvin Klein Cosmetic Corporation euphoria™

free the fantasy

SUBSCRIBER OF THE MONTH

We give a small gift bag filled with birdseed.

There is a note attached explaining that the recipient should sprinkle the seed on his or her doorstep Christmas morning.

The birds who come to eat it bring good luck for the coming year.

I donate blood.

ANGIE GANNON, Summit, New Jersey

CAMI BAUMAN HER ANSWER: I bought a 10-pack

of cotton kitchen towels and a set of fabric markers. My three kids colored what they wanted on some of the towels, and I wrote “Merry Christmas” and the year. On the other towels, I traced the outline of the kids’ hands and/or feet and wrote their names and ages.

I kept one set of two towels for myself; then I gave my mother, my grandmother, my husband’s mother, and my husband’s grandmother each a set. There were tears!

YO U R W O R D S

Monogrammed mugs.

I give them to my friends who are mothers, because when you are a mom, everything you own tends to become public property.

Having one simple thing that is yours alone is a special treat.

CARYN W., Menlo Park, California

Pajamas.

I restore old film reels and VHS home movies and put them on DVDs. @AMBERSELVIDGE

EVERYONE CAN ALWAYS USE A NEW PAIR, AND IT’S A GIFT OF COMFORT THAT DOESN’T COST TOO MUCH.

Homemade snow globes for teachers. @CJSLOVEY

HOW DO YOU MANAGE STRESS DURING THE HOLIDAYS?

I am a dedicated list maker. I keep one with me that maps out whom I need to buy gifts for and the budget for each gift.

WHAT’S YOUR FONDEST HOLIDAY MEMORY?

When I was a kid, Christmas Eve was spent at my great-grandparents’ house and Christmas Day on my grandparents’ farm. So much of our extended family would gather together that we actually had to eat in shifts! It was always a holiday full of joyous, noisy, chaotic love.

Something meaningful.

One Christmas l bought a sewing box for my daughter and filled it with scissors, thread, and a measuring tape.

Inside l attached a note explaining that the wooden spools were the same ones l had used to sew some of her first-grade outfits. Priceless!

FAVORITE BOOK?

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, by John Gray, Ph.D. It helped me and my husband to understand how we are wired differently.

STUMPED FOR GIFT IDEAS? TURN TO PAGE 39 FOR 50 PICKS UNDER $50.

DECEMBER 2016

TERRI BORELL A, Nolensville Tennessee

STATS: 41, married, with three children; administrative assistant in Mandan, North Dakota.

MARIE PEL ACCIA, Oxford, Connecticut

ROSE JAURIGUE

It costs nothing and takes just a little of my time, but it helps many people.

A plant.

I give cuttings from my jade plants. The recipients always love the story behind the cuttings: The (30-plusyear-old) mother plant was my grandmother’s, and the source plant was my mother’s. I love passing the plants on to friends—they mean so much to me and help keep the memory of my mother and grandmother alive.

JUDY CODONI-STEIN, Stockton, California

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A sweet homemade treat.

I make English toffee at Christmastime to give to my neighbors. I’ve been doing this for several years, and I know that they look forward to it. It’s such a fun tradition.

THE ART OF GIF TING custom art gifts from independent artists.

Your photos, silhouette, and wedding vows — made into one-of-a-kind keepsakes.

JAN GAL ATI, San Clemente, California

MINTED.COM/COMPLETELY-CUSTOM

BAKING UP A SWEET GIFT? GET OUR FAVORITE COOKIE RECIPES ON PAGE 190.

The past.

I try to catch the sanitation and recycling crews when they come prior to Christmas.

I’ve given coffee, doughnuts, scratch-off lottery tickets, and gift cards.

USING RESOURCES AT MY LOCAL LIBRARY, I WAS ABLE TO TRACE MY DAD’S GENEALOGY BACK TO THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION AND BEYOND, AND I TOLD HIM THE STORY OF HIS ANCESTORS. HE’S A PRETTY ADVENTUROUS SOUL, AND NOW WE KNOW THAT HE COMES

BY IT HONESTLY. TAR A KLODNICKI, Marietta, Georgia

MEGAN GILSON, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

LOTTERY TICKETS. DONNA PERKINS, via e-mail

UPCOMING QUESTION

When did you last surprise yourself?

Go to realsimple.com/yourwords and let us know your answer to this question. Your response could appear on these pages.

15% OFF photo & art gifts.

CO D E : R S A R T 1 6 EXPIRES: 1/15/17

DECEMBER 2016

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W W W. M I N T E D . C O M REALSIMPLE.COM

SHAZAM TO MEET MORE CUSTOMERS

N O R D S T R O M . C O M / T H A N K YO U

Thank you Oden Sohr for coming to see us on your 11th birthday, after finally saving up enough to make those slides yours. Happy Holidays.

LEARN HOW TO

P R O P S T Y L I N G BY L I N D E N E L S T R A N . S P E C I A L T H A N K S T O PA U L I S R A E L , D I R E C T O R O F T H E T H O M A S A . E D I S O N PA P E R S AT R U T G E R S U N I V E R S I T Y.

hang Christmas lights like the pros at realsimple. com/lights.

45,000 HOW MANY LED LIGHTS ADORNED THE 78-FOOT NORWAY SPRUCE IN NEW YORK C I T Y’S RO C K E F E L L E R C E N T E R I N 2015.

LET THERE BE LIGHTS Written by Liz Loerke Photograph by Danny Kim

’TWAS A FEW NIGHTS BEFORE CHRISTMAS, 1882, when Edward Johnson, the vice president of

Thomas Edison’s Electric Company, had a bright idea. Instead of using precarious and dangerous candles to illuminate his Christmas tree, why not use electric bulbs? Equipped with the know-how and a nearby electric plant, Johnson created a display to remember. People passing by his midtown Manhattan townhouse on December 22 were treated to an eyeful in the parlor window: Johnson’s tree stood atop a revolving stand and twinkled with 80 red, white, and blue bulbs. “I need not tell you that the scintillating evergreen was a pretty sight,” raved William Augustus Croffut, a reporter for the Detroit Post and Tribune. For those not, um, connected, holiday lights were prohibitively expensive (about $2,000 in today’s currency) and remained out of reach until 1903. That’s when General Electric began selling sets of 24 lights for $12—and the annual tradition of untangling them began.

DECEMBER 2016

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T H E R E A L I ST

Now what?!?

Smart solutions for life’s little disasters Nail polish spilled on my wood table.

I’m at a party, and I have wine teeth. Help!

PAM GARMONY, via e-mail

Soak up what you can by applying pressure to the spill with a rag or a paper towel, says Lou Manfredini, the home expert at Ace Hardware. To deal with the stain, place a brownpaper grocery bag on top and run a warm iron over it a few times; this will soften whatever is stuck on. Then use a plastic putty knife to gently scrape the warm polish away. (Scrape in the direction of the grain to minimize marks.) Finally, use a white nylon scrubbing pad and all-purpose cleaner to remove the remnants. If any of the finish has come off, you can touch up the table with a wood restorer (like Restor-A-Finish, $13, acehardware.com). In cases where a stain is large or where the damaged piece is an antique, it’s best to call in a professional.

THE FIX:

Written by Brandi Broxson Illustration by Peter Oumanski

DECEMBER 2016

26

My ears feel dirty.

CINDY N., via e-mail

WENDY L ARCHMONT, via e-mail

THE FIX: Grab a glass of sparkling water, says Lana Rozenberg, a dentist in New York City: “The bubbles will loosen and help scrub away the stain.” None available? In an emergency (because the citric acid used here can damage tooth enamel), rub a lime or lemon wedge over your teeth, then eat a bit of cheese to keep the stain from returning. “Calcium will build up on the teeth, closing micropores on the surface, which will make it difficult for any red tint to stick,” says Rozenberg.

For future parties, brush your teeth soon before drinking red wine to remove plaque (stains adhere to it). Or pack teeth wipes (Wine Wipes, $9, amazon.com), which contain stain-removing baking soda and hydrogen peroxide.

THE FIX: Not cotton swabs, says Benjamin Tweel, an associate professor of otolaryngology at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, in New York City. “Swabs can push ear wax and debris further into the ear canal and can even cause wax production to increase,” he says.

Instead, use ear drops containing carbamide peroxide to break down excess wax and moisturize the ear canal. (Try Debrox drops; $5, amazon.com.) Apply five drops in each ear for three to five days. If the feeling persists, see your doctor.

REALSIMPLE.COM

HAVE A DISASTER

that needs solving? E-mail your problem to askreal simple@realsimple.com.

Get in touch with a different kind of remote.

Introducing the new Volkswagen Golf Alltrack with 4MOTION® all-wheel drive.

Soon to be everywhere.

When it comes to the moments we remember, how many take place in your living room? If you’re still trying to recall, perhaps it’s time to reacquaint yourself with a world beyond Wi-Fi, where the stunning beauty of a vista in front of you is not virtual reality but reality reality. The Golf Alltrack comes with 4MOTION all-wheel drive, Off-Road Mode, and enough turbocharged power to motivate you off the couch.

Because happiness favors the spontaneous.

vw.com

Optional accessories shown. Always ensure that your vehicle is equipped with appropriate tires and equipment and always adjust your speed and driving style to the road, terrain, traffic, and weather conditions. See Owner’s Manual for further details and important limitations. ©2016 Volkswagen of America, Inc.

N EW U S E S FOR O L D T H I N G S

Fridge Space Savers (IN A PINCH)

FROZEN-FOODS HOLDER

T H E R E A L I ST

A basic desk sorter allows you to neatly file packages of meat, vegetables, and other frozen foods while freeing up freezer space for clunky items (like bags of ice).

CASSEROLE STACKER

Can’t fit all your holiday leftovers? Go vertical by layering cutting boards (or cookie sheets) between the containers.

DOOR ORGANIZER

Keep condiments upright and tidy (and say sayonara to shelf stickiness) by storing bottles in a six-pack carrier.

Written by Brandi Broxson Photograph by Danny Kim

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P R O P S T Y L I N G BY L I N D E N E L S T R A N ; I L L U S T R AT I O N S BY P E T E R O U M A N S K I

J JAR SUSPENDER SUS

Take advantage of every bit of refrigerator space by adhering a magnetic knife strip to the underside of a shelf with adhesive strips (such as 3M Command picture-hanging strips).

Anything with a metal lid will stick to it.

IT’S TIME TO MOVE FORWARD We knew it was time for a better way to get a home loan, so we created Rocket Mortgage. With our completely online process, you can move forward with a custom mortgage solution in minutes.

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Quicken Loans NMLS #3030. Equal Housing Lender. Licensed in 50 states. AR, TX: 1050 Woodward Ave., Detroit, MI 48226-1906, (888) 474-0404; AZ: 16425 North Pima, Ste. 200, Scottsdale, AZ 85260, Mortgage Banker License #BK-0902939; CA: Licensed by Dept. of Business Oversight, under the CA Residential Mortgage Lending Act; CO: Regulated by the Division of Real Estate; GA: Residential Mortgage Licensee #11704; IL: Residential Mortgage Licensee #4127 – Dept. of Financial and Professional Regulation; KS: SL-0000693; ME: Supervised Lender License; MN: Not an offer for a rate lock agreement; MS: Licensed by the MS Dept. of Banking and Consumer Finance; NH: Licensed by the NH Banking Dept., #6743MB; NV: License #626; NJ: Licensed Mortgage Banker – NJ Dept. of Banking, 1st (and/or 2nd) mortgages only; NY: Licensed Mortgage Banker – NYS Banking Dept.; OH: MB 850076; OR: License #ML-1387; PA: Licensed as a 1st Mortgage Banker by the Dept. of Banking and licensed pursuant to the PA Secondary Mortgage Loan Act; RI: Licensed Lender; VA: www.NMLSConsumerAccess.org; WA: Consumer Loan Company License CL-3030. Quicken Loans NMLS #3030. Rates subject to change. Restrictions may apply. ©2000–2016 Quicken Loans Inc., All rights reserved. Lending services provided by Quicken Loans Inc., a subsidiary of Rock Holdings Inc. “Quicken Loans” is a registered service mark of Intuit Inc., used under license.

P R E T T Y P R AC T I C A L

OMBRÉ LIPS The gradient-color trend has migrated to mouths for good reason: It creates the illusion of fuller lips. Here’s the easiest way to pull it off.

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Trace lips with a matte pencil one or two shades deeper than your natural lip color. Try Sonia Kashuk Velvety Matte Lip Crayon in Mulberry Nude ($8, target.com), taking it a little closer to the center of your lips than normal. Then, using a finger, pat on a lighter, brighter lipstick with a sheen inside the liner and blend out. Try L’Oréal Paris Colour Riche Lipcolour in Volcanic ($9 at drugstores).

Don’t stress. As long as the colors contrast, you’ll get the ombré effect.

1 Pre ep For a smooth application, exfoliate your lips first with a pinch of sugar and water. Then, using a makeup sponge, like the Beautyblender ($20, sephora.com), dab a thin veil of foundation over your lips. This creates a neutral canvas that will help the lip color pop— plus, it makes your color last longer.

Written by Chelsea Traber Burns Photograph by Molly Cranna JUST PRESS PLAY

Watch a step-by-step tutorial at realsimple.com/ombrelips.

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Take the guesswork out of choosing a color combination with NYX Ombre Lip Duo ($12, nyxcosmetics. com). It has a liner on one end and a lipstick on the other in coordinating hues.

L A R G E P H O T O G R A P H : M A K E U P BY L E A N N E H I R S H AT S A R A H L A I R D FO R W W W.VA P O U R B E A U T Y.C O M ; H A I R BY PA U L WA R R E N FO R A M I K A ; B A N A N A R E P U B L I C T O P. P H O T O G R A P H , T O P L E F T: C O U R T E S Y O F N A R S C O S M E T I C S . S T I L L L I F E S : P H O T O G R A P H S BY P H I L I P F R I E D M A N ; P R O P S T Y L I N G BY M A I T R A N

Line and d fill RUNWAY INSPIRATION Models at the Creatures of the Wind fall 2016 show wore matte sangria lips with a dab of cherry gloss in the center.

Results in 1 week with the supercharged, go-to anti-aging ingredient.

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See what’s possible. Visit Neutrogena.com/Retinol

*Among OTC cosmetics; greater improvement on fine lines. © J&JCI 2016

REAL SIMPLIFIER

How to choose a charity

T H E R E A L I ST

Eileen Heisman, CEO of the National Philanthropic Trust, offers advice on vetting organizations before opening your heart (and your wallet).

What if you can afford to donate only a little?

No amount is too small.

And smaller gifts can add up for a big impact.

Just look at the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.

People donated small amounts for a total of more than $100 million.

What’s the biggest mistake givers make?

They donate impulsively.

Charity scams rely on you doing no background check and making a hurried gift. Spend 10 or 15 minutes doing proper research to make sure that a charity is legitimate and reputable.

What sort of research?

Reputable charities will have an online presence— at the very least, a Facebook page. If a charity does not have a site, that should raise questions.

[Go to irs.gov to confirm that a charity is eligible to receive tax-deductible contributions.] On an organization’s website, look for information on their programs and how they use funds. Then search the local media to see what kind of coverage the charity or members of its board have received.

How should you deal with unexpected donation requests?

Whether it’s a coworker or a stranger asking for a donation, buy some time

Written by Brandi Broxson Illustration by Peter Oumanski

to first research the charity. You can say, “I would rather give directly online. How can I give you credit for the donation?”

And phone solicitations?

If someone calls claiming to represent a charity, ask them to mail a hard copy letter.

Often they won’t if they’re not legitimate.

If you see a link on social media, do not click through. It may not take you to the actual charity. Always go directly to the charity’s site instead.

What if you’re new to an area and want to find a local cause?

Ask neighbors or coworkers for their favorite places. Or go to a trusted site, like GuideStar or Charity Navigator, which vets charities. Plug in your city and what type of cause you’re interested in— education, poverty, the environment.

The more specific you can be, the better.

How can you include kids?

Actively involve children in the process.

Let them help you choose a cause they care about—say, a shelter if they love ani-

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mals—and invite them to contribute a bit of their allowance to a charity piggy bank each month. At the end of the year, donate it together.

Is it better to give all I can to one place or to spread out my giving?

Aim to give more to fewer charities. Five hundred dollars to one charity will be more impactful than $100 to five. If a certain social issue is important to you, put all your eggs in that basket and stick with it for at least three or four years.

Why? It costs charities a lot to find and recruit new donors. If you’re loyal for multiple years, you’re saving them money.

REALSIMPLE.COM

What’s the easiest way to give?

Use a site like Network for Good. It provides a secure link to donate [choose from more than 1 million charities] as well as a snapshot of the organization’s mission, programs, and financials.

And if you give to more than one charity on the site, you’ll receive a single receipt, which makes it easier at tax time.

What if you can’t give money?

Be a cheerleader for a charity. Research shows that one of the biggest reasons people give to a cause is because friends and family ask them to.

Post about the organization on social media, work an information booth at an event, or hang signs at your local coffeehouse to spread awareness.

GIVE A GIFT FOR GOOD

Go to realsimple.com/ charitablegifts for a gift guide of do-good goodies.

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#FOLGERSFEELSLIKEHOME Tabitha Blue, the creator of FreshMommyBlog.com, knows that home is where the heart (and the party!) is. Here, she shares her tips for filling your house with friends, fun, and great memories.

HAPPY HOSTESS Tabitha’s secret to seamless entertaining? Plan ahead.

Hosting is a breeze when you start early by setting the table in advance, and even easier when your napkin holders double as place settings.

BRIGHT IDEA Lighting is a subtle way to set the mood and add ambiance to any party. Homemade lanterns can give a festive feel and make your event a night to remember.

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Tabitha’s tip: brew a pot of Folgers® Coffeehouse Blend coffee while you tidy up. It’s the ultimate post-cleaning treat and makes the entire house smell amazing.

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T R E N D TO T RY

TARTAN PL AID Check k , please! This ks, traditttio onal pattern has been sspruced up just in tim me m for the holidays.

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2 REVERSIBLE WRAP This cozy oversize cape is multicolored plaid on one side, houndstooth on the other, and a versatile layer any way you look at it. Look By M, $40, modcloth.com.

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4 SLEEVELESS SHIFT The festive palette and the ruffled collar make this great for a casual holiday party. $198, vineyardvines.com.

5 STATEMENT STILETTOS Kick your jeans-andsweater combo up a notch— these printed pumps give basics a serious boost. $40, amiclubwear.com.

Written by

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Rebecca Daly Photographs by

Philip Friedman

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S O F T S T Y L I N G BY M A I T R A N

1 CROSS-BODY BAG Small enough for running last-minute holiday errands unencumbered—but roomy enough for all your essentials (phone, keys, wallet). $70, talbots.com.

3 DROP-WAIST SKIRT In a dark Black Watch tartan, this chic mini works nearly anywhere a solid black or navy version would.

Cynthia Rowley, $25, tjmaxx.com.

AVAILABLE AT LANDSEND.COM LANDS’ END POP UP STORE, 580 BROADWAY, NEW YORK, NY (BETWEEN HOUSTON ST AND PRINCE ST)

T H E STA P L E

Artichoke hearts They may not look like much, but they can completely transform a dish. Unlike mild-tasting fresh artichoke hearts (which have a fleeting spring season and are a chore to trim and clean), jarred, marinated ones are ready to use and have robust flavor from vinegar, salt, spices, and oil. (Skip the water-packed kind, which lack the extra zip.) Add hearts to salads, pasta, omelets, and even soups— they hold up during a long cooking time. What’s not to love?

3 QUICK IDEAS Zesty crab cakes

T H E R E A L I ST

Combine 1 lb. drained and picked jumbo lump crabmeat; 1 6-oz. jar quartered, marinated artichoke hearts, drained and roughly chopped; ½ cup bread crumbs; ¼ cup mayonnaise; 1 large egg, beaten; and ½ tsp. kosher salt.

Shape into 8 patties. Cook in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high until golden brown, about 3 min. per side.

Serves 4.

Artichoke linguine Toss 12 oz. hot cooked linguine with 3 cups firmly packed fresh baby spinach; 1 6-oz. jar quartered, marinated artichoke hearts, drained; 1 oz. shaved Parmesan cheese; ¼ cup olive oil; 2 Tbsp. red wine vinegar; ½ tsp. kosher salt; and ¼ tsp. crushed red pepper.

Whisk together 6 large eggs; 1 6-oz. jar quartered, marinated artichoke hearts; ½ cup chopped leeks; ¼ cup half-andhalf; and 4 crumbled cooked bacon slices. Pour into a 6-oz. refrigerated piecrust. Bake at 375°F until the center is set and the crust is golden, about 30 minutes. Cool 5 minutes before slicing.

Written by Heath Goldman Recipes by Pam Lolley Photograph by Danny Kim

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P R O P S T Y L I N G BY L I N D E N E L S T R A N

Bacon, leek, and artichoke quiche

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realsimple’s

HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE PRETTY SWEET SNOW TUBE

GIFT GUIDE

This four-feet-across inflatable peppermint twist is a real treat for kids on snow days.

TO BUY: Giant Big Mouth Snow Tube, $30, alwaysfits.com.

Featuring 50+ gifts for $50 or less!

(PLUS A HANDFUL OVER $50 THAT ARE DEFINITELY WORTH IT) Written by Stephanie Sisco Photographs by Aaron Dyer Prop Styling by JoJo Li

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or with friends. The “ears” also act as speakers.

TO BUY: Brookstone Cat Ear Headphones, $100, macys.com.

1 SYRUP FOR SOPHISTICATES

Treat the Sunday-morning pancake fan to organic maple syrup. Each bottle is wood-smoked, barrel-aged, or infused with exotic flavors (lime leaf, cardamom).

TO BUY: Maple syrups, $17 to $20 each, runamokmaple.com.

3 MONSTER ICE POPS

2 CAT-EAR HEADPHONES

Purr fect for your tween and her current band crush (Twenty-One Pilots, anyone?), this cushiony, light-up upgrade lets her listen solo

SPLURGE!

Kids can fill the silicone molds with juice or softened ice cream, then freeze in the included tray to create devilishly good desserts.

For ages three and up.

TO BUY: Tovolo Monster Pop Molds, $16, everything kitchens.com.

4 HOLIDAY SPIRITS

An aromatic liqueur with notes of cinnamon and fennel and nothing artificial, crafted in-house at a familyrun Portland distillery.

Drink it straight up, or mix it with rum or bourbon for a spiced cocktail.

TO BUY: Bluebird Alpine Liqueur, $30, thomasand sonsdistillery.com.

5 VW VAN PET TOTE

Peace, love, and a padded strap! This groovy carrier accommodates cats and small dogs.

TO BUY: VW Pet Carrier (about 24 inches wide and 12 inches tall), $45, themonsterfactoryusa.com.

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My dad always believed in working hard and following your dream. His name was Josh and he was my hero. I made this wine in his honor. It’s big and vibrant but always approachable, like him.

— Joseph Carr, Napa Valley Vintner & Son

LONG LIVE

Josh Carr, circa 1948

joshcellars.com

Please enjoy responsibly. ©2016 Deutsch Family Wine & Spirits, Stamford, CT 06901.

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1 AMPED-UP SPEAKER

This desktop replica of a vintage amp hits the right note for a dorm room or a teen bedroom—and delivers high-quality sound at a low price. For laptops, smartphones, and MP3 players.

TO BUY: Toysmith Rock On! Retro Amp MP3 mini speaker (seven inches tall and six inches wide), $30, overstock.com.

2 BEADED TEETHER SPLURGE!

Seriously, wearing these shoes feels as if you’re walking on a cloud.

Chic and chewable don’t often go hand in hand, but this beautifully crafted maple-wood teether delivers on both. A fun find for the new mom who is always well accessorized.

TO BUY: Dove + Dovelet Titan teether, $25, design lifekids.com.

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5 WORLD’S MOST COMFORTABLE KICKS

3 REVENGE ON RUBIK’S

Anyone who has conquered the iconic six-sided cube will delight in this riff on the classic: a dodecagon (that’s 12-sided!) upgrade.

It’s a tricky, twisty challenge that doubles as Mondrianesque art when perched on a shelf.

TO BUY: Skewb Ultimate, $20, mcachicagostore.org.

4 CUSTOM PET PILLOW

There will be a permanent place on the sofa for your friend’s favorite fur baby.

Bonus: No shedding!

TO BUY: Custom pet pillow, $80, broderpress.com.

Allow two weeks.

REALSIMPLE.COM

Stylish wear-’em-anywhere sneakers for your sole mate (male or female). In breathable merino wool, they conform to the feet and can be tossed in the wash. In seven colors, including black, gray, and light red.

TO BUY: Allbirds sneakers, $95, allbirds.com.

6 FOXY NECK WRAP

For the den mother carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, a spalike soother for spare moments.

Heats in the microwave or oven and stays warm for 45 minutes, easing out the day’s kinks.

TO BUY: Fox neck-warming pillow, $30, mcachicago store.org.

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1 MANI-PEDI HEAVEN

Stumped when it comes to your hard-to-please niece?

You’ll nail it with this pretty pack of fast-drying polishes.

TO BUY: Julep #Coveted Nail Set, $48, ulta.com.

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4 FRINGE ELEMENT 2 DINNER DEMYSTIFIED

A confidence-building collection of easy recipes by food writer and recipe developer Julia Turshen that’s full of insidery tricks (grilling a foil packet of tomatoes to make a sauce, ricotta as meatball lightener, and more).

TO BUY: Small Victories, $35, chroniclebooks.com.

3 CHEESE PLEASER

From a small, award-winning shop in Colorado, a generous trio (⅓ pound each of sheep’s milk, goat’s milk, and blue Cheddar cheese) plus crackers and your choice of either pepper or fig jam.

A grand gift at a low price.

TO BUY: Cheesemonger’s Choice, $42, curedboulder.com.

Give your artsy pal a wearable hit of the “loom” trend: a handmade woven pendant stitched to a gilded stoneware base. In 14 colors.

TO BUY: Ice necklace, $48, shoptwentytwowest.com.

5 MARBLE BOARDS

These versatile, weighty objets are perfect for the frequent entertainer.

They can be used as small servers or large coasters.

TO BUY: Marble cheese servers, $15 each, cb2.com.

6 MUSHROOM KNIFE

A particular tool for the particular cook. The boar-hair brush dusts away soil; the blade folds down for storage.

TO BUY: Opinel mushroom knife, $30, momastore.org.

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Just when you think you’ve got this holiday thing all wrapped up.

Things never quite how you left them? We’ve got you. RAYOVAC® batteries are hard working and long lasting, promising to be the one thing that’s a sure thing.

Head to RAYOVAC.com/holiday and add batteries to your holiday shopping list. ®/™ trademarks © Spectrum Brands, Inc. 2016.

BALLOON-ANIMAL NIGHT-LIGHT

GIFT GUIDE

It looks like a Jeff Koons sculpture but is actually a silicone lamp, sure to please parents who love Pop Art. Stays illuminated for 30 minutes when you give the hind legs a squeeze.

TO BUY: Balloon Dog night-lights, $25 each, uncommongoods.com.

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1 PRIMPING KIT

The buzzy beauty company Glossier assembled this set of universally flattering eyeliner, lip gloss, cheek glow, and nail polish. Your in-the-know sister-in-law will be impressed (and thrilled).

TO BUY: The Black Tie Set, $50, glossier.com.

2 SUCCULENT GARDEN

The lid lifts off to reveal a cheerful trio of robust mini plants—ready to be put in a sunny window and add life to any room. Clincher: No green thumb required.

TO BUY: Jewel Garden, $35, lulasgarden.com.

3 VR GOGGLES

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GIFT GUIDE

The future is here: This virtual-reality viewer attaches to an iPhone, turning VR videos and apps into a mind-blowing immersive experience.

TO BUY: Pocket-VR, $50 (use the code RS20), speckproducts.com.

4 STATEMENT EARMUFFS

Faux fur and an outsize satin bow make these just right for your little glamour girl (they come in kid sizes) or that friend who never met an accessory she didn’t like.

TO BUY: Girls’ earmuffs, $28; women’s earmuffs (shown), $78: katespade.com.

5 GAMES IN DISGUISE

Those who adore organized shelves as much as they love game night (yesss) will appreciate the sleek storability of these redesigned titles—sturdy volumes of Monopoly, Scrabble, and Clue, to live neatly alongside your books.

TO BUY: Bookshelf Games, $35 each, llbean.com.

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SPLURGE!

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3 POM-POM POUCH

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1 MAN IN THE MIRROR

Face wash, shaving cream, and aftershave moisturizer with aloe and shea butter have the clean scent of eucalyptus to help the gogetter master mornings.

TO BUY: You Dirty Dog premium grooming set, $50, owenandfred.com.

2 CHARGING WALLET

Know a guy whose phone is always dying? (Do we ever.)

This supple leather billfold with a thin battery pack for recharging is the answer to our—er, his—problems.

TO BUY: Orbit wallet by HButler, $110, findorbit.com (available in December).

4 FANCY FRUITS

The poetry of this fruit-andnut bar (made with California pineapple, strawberries, coconut, and more) lies not just in its stained glass–like appearance but also in its dense texture. Pair it with a block of Manchego to delight a hostess.

TO BUY: Fruit & Nut tortas, $15 each, graceandi.com.

5 LUXE PORTFOLIO

The executrix in your life will put this finely crafted vegan-leather case to work: It holds paper files and a tablet and bestows understated authority on she who brandishes it.

In blush, navy, and olive.

TO BUY: Minimalist folio, $48 (medium), poketo.com.

GIFT GUIDE

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Sized just right to hold makeup (or pens), this sparkly faux-suede number won’t go missing at the bottom of her giant tote.

TO BUY: Dreamland cosmetics case, $45, deuxlux.com.

SPLURGE!

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Each delicious fruit “loaf ” comes with its own bamboo cutting board—making it easy to slice and devour.

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3 A BETTER BATTER

1 ULTIMATE COOZIE

For the guy who has dreamed of owning the cult-favorite Yeti cooler ($250 and way up), this iteration for one bottle or can delivers the same double-walled insulation and sleek profile at a handsomer price.

TO BUY: Yeti Colster, $30, yeti.com.

2 LEGO LAPTOP COVER

Lots of fun for anyone who lives in a home overrun with bricks. The lucky recipient can use Lego blocks, Mega Bloks, or KRE-O to create a custom click-on protector— then change it up anytime.

TO BUY: Brik Book Build-On MacBook cover, $50 (use the code RS2016), thinkgeek.com.

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This gourmet cookie mix (from a pastry pro turned Seattle food blogger) transforms into delectable Salted Chocolate Chip or Cherry Chocolate Chip cookies. Just add an egg and a stick of butter.

TO BUY: Cookie mix, $16, notwithoutsalt.com.

4 DESKTOP SKEEBALL

Give him an arcade moment during a busy workday with this addictive man toy. You’ll score major points.

TO BUY: $35, uncommongoods.com.

5 ELIXIR MIXER

Impress your fitspo-focused friend with this “clean” cocktail mixer from a high-end organic-meal delivery service. Made with rosewater, beet sugar, and hibiscus, it gives you a boost of antioxidants even when blended with vodka or other spirits.

TO BUY: Beauty Water cocktail mix (24 ounces), $49, sakara.com.

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6 YETI SNOW MOLD

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There’s a new (snow) man in town, and he’s abominable! Your kids can pack this 18-inch mold full of snow, then unhinge to release their version of the legendary Himalayan creature.

TO BUY: $30, llbean.com.

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GIFT GUIDE

DISCO NUTCRACKER

For that person who is simply impossible to shop for, a shiny, pretty thing to illuminate a bookshelf or a bar cart. While beaming rays of light around the room, it works just like its classic red wooden brother to…you know, break open nuts.

TO BUY: $50, cb2.com.

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We Bring the

MAGIC MAGIC

You Make the Memories

Cakes from Europe.

Handcrafted hearts from Nepal.

We put the world in your hands for the holidays.

save an extra

1000S OF DISCOVERIES IN STORE OR AT WORLDMARKET.COM SELECTION MAY VARY BY STORE AND ONLINE ITEMS SOLD INDIVIDUALLY IN STORE MAY BE SOLD IN SETS ONLINE

10%

on your purchase*

*Valid 11/4/16–1/16/17 at Cost Plus World Market stores within the United States and worldmarket.com. Not valid on alcoholic beverages, gift cards, eGift Cards, One of a Kind Rugs, delivery surcharges, and shipping fees. One-time use only. Cannot be combined with other coupons and offers. Discount will be applied to current selling price. Employees not eligible.

No adjustments to prior purchases. No cash value or rain checks issued. When you return an item, you will forfeit the discount applied to that item. To redeem online, enter promotion code WM3614A at checkout. CASHIER INSTRUCTIONS: 1. Scan all items. 2. Scan coupon barcode. 3. Press CLEAR. 4. Press TOTAL and complete transaction. 5. Retain coupon.

1 “LUKE, I AM YOUR BACKPACK”

Your second grader will be the envy of the elementary school with Darth Vader by his side.

TO BUY: Star Wars galaxy backpack, $50, loungefly.com.

2 RETRO GAME CONSOLE

An 80s-style video-play system to make grown-up gamers jump (like Mario!) for joy. Includes an oldschool controller and all the classics (Donkey Kong, Pac-Man, and more). Compatible with any HDTV. TO BUY: Nintendo Entertainment System: NES Classic Edition, $60, nintendo.com.

3 DECORATING BOOK

GIFT GUIDE

For the person who loves prints, patterns, and home decor, a new bible by textile designer Rebecca Atwood.

Deliciously photographed, it offers inspiration for anyone feathering a nest.

TO BUY: Living With Pattern, $33, rebeccaatwood.com.

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4 3-D PEN

The big draw here: Whatever you write comes out in 3-D (melted plastic, which quickly cools to the touch). Skilled sketchers can “build” little structures.

For ages eight and up.

TO BUY: 3Doodler Essentials Pen Set, $50, target.com.

SPLURGE!

5 BRAIDED BIKE LOCK

Basic but better, this thick, woven security system with a four-digit code keeps your cyclist’s precious wheels safe. In red or blue.

TO BUY: $15, cb2.com.

6 ADULT ADVENT CALENDAR

Why should kids get all the goodies? Every day contains a new artisanal, allnatural treat (vanilla-bean caramels, real fruit lollipops, creamy chews), making the monthlong ramp-up to Christmas all the sweeter.

TO BUY: Quin Candy Countdown calendar, $20, quincandy.com.

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MY STARBUCKS IS

Recommended serving suggestion.

STARBUCKS® HOT COCOA, AVAILABLE IN K-CUP® PODS Our place or yours, indulge your taste for rich, creamy hot cocoa at home. Enjoy Classic and Salted Caramel flavors anytime you please.

Visit Starbucks.com/hotcocoa to learn more.

© 2016 Starbucks Corporation. All rights reserved.

Keurig, K-Cup, Keurig Hot, and the K logo are trademarks of Keurig Green Mountain, Inc., used with permission.

Available where you buy groceries.

1 GLASS CANISTERS

These vibrant treasure boxes hold jewelry, paper clips, hair ties—you name it.

Buy multiples and stash them away for coworkers, neighbors, and hosts.

TO BUY: HAY Bits & Bobs Bowls, $9 (mini) to $19 (large), momastore.org.

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2 MAGIC MAKEUP

A trio to help your young teen glow: This lipstick, gloss, and cheek stain start out green (weird!) and mix with her pH to turn to a just-right rosy hue.

TO BUY: Lipstick Queen Frog Prince Story, $45, lipstick queen.com.

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3 DESIGNER LIPS

GIFT GUIDE

A gorgeous spectrum (nude to burgundy) of longlasting mini Burberry lipsticks. One set for your glam friend, one set for you.

(Come on—treat yourself!)

TO BUY: Burberry Beauty Lip Velvet set, $40, sephora.com.

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4 COFFEE PEN

Domestic baristas will like this a latte. It’s a “pen” for drawing milk-foam art with cocoa or cinnamon (artist’s choice).

TO BUY: Spice Pen, $29, cinnibird.com.

5 CONFETTI CLUTCH

Filled with water and lots of glitter, this sartorial snow globe begs to be shaken all night long.

TO BUY: Glitter Box clutch, $35, charmingcharlie.com.

6 ONE-OF-A-KIND EARRINGS

For the middle schooler who loves to challenge the status quo, a “pair” of mismatched enamel studs. In three styles.

TO BUY: Fruit earrings, $24, blueribbongeneral store.com.

7 TASSEL CHARM

This 11-inch handmade gem clips on to help her bag (and her) stand out.

TO BUY: $28, verloop knits.com.

8 DOGGONE-COOL COLLAR

A leather-collar/badge combo that snaps to attach.

Choose from 48 words, including Fluffball and Snugglebutt—or create your own.

TO BUY: Honest collar, $40 to $46; badges, $8 each: espaciohandmade.com.

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2 ANIMAL CARRYALL

For your little ruff ian, a cute, cinchable bag for lugging chalk and snacks to the park. Comes in a cat face, too.

TO BUY: Dog Back Pack, $24, sundayincolor.com.

2

3 DAY-GLO AQUARIUM

This futuristic tank feels like a fish nightclub—it cycles through 16 colors of LED lights. Minimum assembly required; decorative pieces (and fish!) sold separately.

TO BUY: biOrb HALO 15, $99, biorb.com.

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5 CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S NOT BUTTER

It’s not—it’s ghee. Ghee is made from butter (it has the same creamy taste) but is lactose-free. Food-forward adults like to smear it on vegetables, meats, and bread. In five high-end flavors, like White Truffle Salt and California Garlic.

TO BUY: From $14 each, fourthandheart.com.

1 POUR-OVER CARAFE

If you have a pal who cares as much about his coffee as he does about design, this sleek set manages to take pour-over brewing to a whole new level.

TO BUY: Toast Living carafe, $50 (use the code RLSIMPLE), amazon.com.

4 ACTIVITY BOOK

6 TOY HIGH CHAIR

A charming, old-school interactive book that prompts prereaders to find Grandpa’s missing items (shoes, smartphone, et al.) hidden in the intricate illustrations.

TO BUY: The Lost House, $19, penguinrandomhouse.com.

The mod lines will only make your house look better. And your little one who totes her “baby” everywhere gets to give her companion a spot at the table. Seat is 20 inches high.

TO BUY: $49, landofnod.com.

SPLURGE!

GIFT GUIDE

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How elusive: A rainbow and a unicorn on one jacket!

2

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GIFT GUIDE

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1 CLASSIC PLAID SCARF

This handsome, generously proportioned accessory works for just about any male—especially those you have no idea what to buy for.

TO BUY: Zara green plaid scarf, $30, zara.com.

2 UNICORN HOODIE

A lucky gift for your kindergartner and for you— because in her new, cozy fleece, she’ll fly out the door each morning.

TO BUY: Cat & Jack unicorn hoodie, $20, target.com.

DECEMBER 2016

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3 DAWG SWEATSHIRT

5 FOOTIE SWEATPANTS

Some edgy apparel for the too-cool-for-school canine, emblazoned with any phrase you choose, in sequins or embroidery.

TO BUY: The Pet Sweatshirt, $39, bowanddrape.com.

These comfy camo-print sweats are lined with fleece, and the feet are convertible.

Your couch potato can fold them up if he has to, say, step out to pay the pizzadelivery guy. Also in solid colors and plaid.

TO BUY: Feejays, $40 (adults) and $30 (kids): feejays.com.

4 BABY CROWN

Hand knit of the softest material on the planet— baby alpaca—this gently stretchy headband won’t pinch or bind.

Extreme adorableness for wee boys and girls.

TO BUY: Hortensia baby crown, $30, elmercadoperu.com.

REALSIMPLE.COM

6 KNIGHT CAP

A crocheted winter hat for the young adventurer.

The “face shield” slides down for protection against icy winds. Awesome.

TO BUY: Character hat, $48, garnethill.com.

Even our bag has a trim waistline.

Eating right is a lot easier when you don’t have to sacrifice great taste for a healthy snack. A good source of protein and fiber, W∑ nderful Pistachios satiate your hunger and give you the energy you need to get through your day. Naturally cholesterol and trans fat free, it’s the tasty snack that loves you back. Get Crackin’ Scientific evidence suggests but does not prove that eating 1.5 ounces per day of most nuts, such as pistachios, as part of a diet low in saturated fat and cholesterol may reduce the risk of heart disease. See nutrition information for fat content, contains 14g total fat per serving. ©2016 Wonderful Pistachios & Almonds LLC. WONDERFUL, GET CRACKIN’, the Package Design and accompanying logos are registered trademarks of Wonderful Pistachios & Almonds LLC or its affiliates.

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A N D N O W FO R S O M E STO C K I N G ST U F F E R S !

1

4 SCENTED TATTOOS

1 DIY DROID 3

Make your own R2D2. The pieces pop out from two steel sheets. Connect them by their holes and tabs— no gluing needed.

TO BUY: R2D2 3D model kit (2¾ inches; ages 14 and up), $15, momastore.org.

2

2 MESSAGE IN A ROCK

This novelty item cracks open to reveal a crystal interior—and a fun fortune.

TO BUY: Crystal Geode Surprise, $9, topsmalibu.com.

3 BADGE OF HUMOR

Know a selfie expert or a coffee addict? Celebrate their quirk with a magnetic patch. Eight options.

TO BUY: Merit Magnets, $7 each, shop.designideas.net.

7 EGG CELLENT CODDLER

5 TEENY VACUUM

A sculpted porcelain piece for the cook who values old-timey genius.

Butter the inside, sprinkle in some cheese (or not), crack in an egg, and plop in boiling water.

TO BUY: Äggcøddler “Gullvei,” $21, aggcoddler.com.

The dorm-room dweller will appreciate this mini crumb catcher. It is only six inches long but truly pulls its weight. Plug into any USB port to use it.

TO BUY: World’s Smallest Vacuum, $15, papersource.com.

Mundane, meet Merry: This smartphone lifeline just happens to be a happy string of blinking lights.

Works on iPhone 5, 6, and 7.

TO BUY: DCI Merry Charger, $10, ae.com.

8 XMAS-LIGHT CHARGER

6 GOURMET CHOCOLATE

9 PLAYFUL PADS

Great to stash for emergency gifts, these handcrafted organic bars in cheery graphic wrappers come in imaginative flavors—donuts and coffee, biscuits and honey, etc.

TO BUY: Chocolate bars, $10 each, compartes.com.

Tear-out games—including Tic Tac Toe and Dots & Boxes—for plane rides, dinners out, and any other time you want the kids unplugged.

TO BUY: Fredericks & Mae Paper Games, $19, amazon.com.

GIFT GUIDE

4

A watercolorist’s version of temporary tats, with the special addition of a flowery fragrance (notes of pink poppies, ylang-ylang, and poplar wood). Slide a sheet into each stocking.

TO BUY: Perennial temporary tattoo set, $18 for eight, tattly.com.

10 STANDING PEN

A colorful, sculptural ballpoint that stands tall—ideal for jazzing up an office desk or a student workspace.

TO BUY: $15 each, areaware.com.

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10

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GO TO USPS.COM/JOLLY

1 FOOFY SLEEP MASK

9 FURRY PHONE RUG

A faux-fur bedtime indulgence for she who demands her beauty rest.

Available in seven colors.

TO BUY: Kashmir faux-fur mask, $16, rhteen.com.

Is someone in your home forever losing her cell?

Answer her call for help with this petite fauxsheepskin landing pad.

TO BUY: Revolution Design House Snoozz phone rug (5½ by 8½ inches), $12, madeherepdx.com.

2 EMOJI NAIL ART

Tweens who practically speak in emojis will go “heart eyes” over this sparkly set that puts lips, smiley faces, and other icons right on their fingertips.

TO BUY: Nailmoji nail polish, $8.50 each, colorclub.com.

6

3 MATCH GAME

A meditative challenge: Find the identical wood print.

Kids will enjoy the fun of hunting for pairs; adults will love the neutral natural art and display-worthy box.

TO BUY: Woodcut memory game, $19, amazon.com.

7

4 MADE TO MEASURE

8

For design devotees, this edgy unisex leather bracelet not only looks cool on the wrist but also takes stock of centimeters and inches.

It (ahem) rules.

TO BUY: Wrist Ruler, $20, ilovehandles.com.

5 PET MOOD CHARM

A color-changing pendant that clips onto a dog’s collar—to keep the canine lover in touch with his best friend’s feelings.

TO BUY: Mood Stone dog tag, $20, notyers.com.

6 BRASSY BAR TOOL

Reward his hosting efforts with this trophy-shaped jigger engraved with drinkmixing measurements.

TO BUY: Umbra Shift Trophy jigger, $20, museumstore. sfmoma.org.

10 GO-TO SCREWDRIVER

Take the frustration out of Christmas morning: a multihead tool adaptable for all toy screw sizes—for whoever is in charge of assembly and battery insertion.

TO BUY: Toydriver, $10, thetoydriver.com.

11 PUPPY LOVE

7 WILD-CAUGHT CAVIAR

It’s confirmed: Good things come in small packages.

This intensely flavored black domestic roe has a shockingly palatable price.

TO BUY: Amia Calva caviar, $12 for one ounce, khavyar.com.

Enamel charms meant for a dog and his human, engraved with a term of endearment (Soul Mates, Life Saver, and more).

TO BUY: My Better Half charms, $20, emilymcdowell.com.

8 SMART STICKY NOTES

Sized to fit the back of an iPhone (brilliant!), these adhesive sheets are for grocery lists, random reminders, or just generally staying on task. Available for iPhone 5, 6, and 7.

TO BUY: Paperback notes, $8, ilovehandles.com.

WE’VE MADE IT EASY FOR YOU! All these gifts can be purchased in one place. Just go to peopleshop.com/ giftguide.

DECEMBER 2016

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GIFT GUIDE

E V E N M O R E STO C K I N G ST U F F E R S

YOU MAY WANNA GET SOME EXTRA LARGE STOCKINGS.

THE GIFTGUIDE INDEX

A N YO N E TEENS / T WEENS PAGE 40 PAGE 40

• Cat-ear headphones, $100, macys.com.

GIFT GUIDE

Real Simple made a list (and checked it twice!) to help you keep track of your must-buys.

PAGE 42

• Mini amp, $30, overstock.com.

WOMEN

PAGE 44

PAGE 60

• Julep nail-polish set, $48, ulta.com.

• Dog backpack, $24, sundayincolor.com.

• The Lost House illustrated book, $19, penguin randomhouse.com.

• Toy high chair, $49, landofnod.com.

• Light-up fish tank, $99, biorb.com.

PAGE 48 PAGE 42

• Fox neck warmer, $30, mcachicagostore.org.

• Beaded teether, $25, designlifekids.com.

PAGE 44

• Woven necklace, $48, shoptwentytwowest.com.

PAGE 48

• Universal makeup set, $50, glossier.com.

• Faux-fur earmuffs, $78, katespade.com.

PAGE 51

• Cosmetic pouch, $45, deuxlux.com.

• Vegan-leather portfolio, $48, poketo.com.

PAGE 52

• Beauty Water cocktail mixer, $49, sakara.com.

PAGE 58

• Glass trinket trays, $9 to $19, momastore.org.

• Burberry mini lipsticks, $40, sephora.com.

• Glitter clutch, $35, charmingcharlie.com.

• Tassel bag charm, $28, verloopknits.com.

• VR viewer, $50, speckproducts.com.

MEN

PAGE 52

• Lego-block laptop cover, $50, thinkgeek.com.

PAGE 42

• Wool sneakers, $95, allbirds.com.

PAGE 51

• Grooming set, $50, owenandfred.com.

• Charging wallet, $110, findorbit.com.

PAGE 56

• Star Wars backpack, $50, loungefly.com.

• 3-D crafting pen, $50, target.com.

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PAGE 62

• Color-changing makeup, $45, lipstickqueen.com.

• Mismatched earrings, $24, blueribbon generalstore.com.

• Unicorn hoodie, $20, target.com.

• Knit crown, $30, elmercadoperu.com.

• Knight cold-weather hat, $48, garnethill.com.

PAGE 52

• Stainless-steel coozie, $30, yeti.com.

• Desktop Skeeball, $35, uncommongoods.com.

PAGE 42

• Twist-and-turn cube puzzle, $20, mcachicagostore.org.

PAGE 44

• Small Victories cookbook, $35, chroniclebooks.com.

• Cheese set, $42, curedboulder.com.

• Mushroom knife, $30, momastore.org.

• Marble cheese servers, $15 each, cb2.com.

PAGE 48

• Trio of succulent plants, $35, lulasgarden.com.

• Bookshelf-style board games, $35 each, llbean.com.

PAGE 51

KIDS

P E T LOV E R S

• Fruit-and-nut tortas, $15 each, graceandi.com.

PAGE 52

PAGE 39

PAGE 56

• Giant snow tube, $30, alwaysfits.com.

• Braided bike lock, $15, cb2.com.

• Video-game console, $60, nintendo.com.

PAGE 40

• Monster ice-pop molds, $16, everything kitchens.com.

PAGE 60

• Pour-over coffee carafe, $50, amazon.com.

PAGE 62

• Oversize plaid scarf, $30, zara.com.

• Footie sweatpants, $40 (adults), feejays.com.

PAGE 40

• VW pet carrier, $45, the monsterfactoryusa.com.

PAGE 42

• Photo pet pillow, $80, broderpress.com.

PAGE 46

PAGE 58

• Balloon-dog night-lights, $25 each, uncommon goods.com.

• Leather dog collar, from $40; badges, $8 each: espaciohandmade.com.

• Gourmet cookie mix, $16, notwithoutsalt.com.

PAGE 54

• Disco nutcracker, $50, cb2.com.

PAGE 56

• Candy advent calendar, $20, quincandy.com.

• Living With Pattern design book, $33, rebecca atwood.com.

PAGE 48

PAGE 62

PAGE 58

• Faux-fur earmuffs, $28, katespade.com.

• Customizable pet sweatshirt, $39, bowanddrape.com.

• Coffee-decorating pen, $29, cinnibird.com.

PAGE 52

PRESENTS PERFECT

• Spiced liqueur, $30, thomasandsons distillery.com.

• Artisanal maple syrups, $17 to $20 each, runamok maple.com.

• Yeti snow mold, $30, llbean.com.

For hundreds more fun finds and editor-curated picks, go to realsimple.com/giftguide.

DECEMBER 2016

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PAGE 60

• Flavored ghee, from $14, fourthandheart.com.

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Traveler’s check Despite spending a year in Nice, Emma Donoghue never mastered French.

But she learned a more important lesson: The places you go show you all the weird in the world (and that’s a good thing).

Photograph by Larry Sultan

DECEMBER 2016

71

OUR NINE-YEAR-OLD, in a French playground, stares at the little boy’s mother. Slim, stylishly dressed, smoking…is it the woman’s cigarette that’s shocking our daughter? Back in Canada she’s rarely seen anybody smoking, and certainly not around children.

As we watch, the young woman beckons her whining boy over…and slaps him hard on the legs. Our daughter’s mouth drops open.

It occurs to me that this is why we’re passing a whole year in Nice, on the French Riviera. Yes, for the sunshine; the beauty of the rippling coast, like a bright ribbon tossed between the hills and the Mediterranean; for the pains au chocolat, of course, and the sense of history (we just came across Napoleon’s home); for the French language, bien sûr, because what better gift to give our kids than being bilingual;

REALSIMPLE.COM

bered pleasure of biting into new experience, like watermelon to a mouth that’s more used to apples.

You’d imagine that one of the things I learn when I go abroad is the language—that after spending a cumulative total of three years in France (after a degree in French and English, too), I must be fluent. Cue hollow laughter!

I don’t think my ghastly, present-tense, is-it-le-or-la? French has got any better in the past quarter of a century.

That’s because I spend my time in France reading and writing in English, and talking English to my family.

But I maintain that there are things I learn; subtler things. Even when French culture frustrates me—when I trek to a shop at lunchtime, forgetting that the staff aren’t there for my convenience, so of course it will be shut for three hours to enable them to have a very leisurely lunch—it’s educational.

I struggle with the post-office schedules (the reality never matching the website, because French websites are aspirational rather than factual), or the unwritten norms of a social occasion (two cheek kisses for every adult and child in the room, at hello and goodbye), or the difficulty of staying prounion when the transit strikes are twice a week, every week…and I feel distinctly more awake, more alive.

One of the first and most humbling things you learn when you move abroad is how little you knew before, and how much of it was wrong. Crossing the Irish Sea to start a Ph.D. in English in Cambridge, back in 1990 (when the Troubles in Northern Ireland were ongoing), I steeled myself against the notorious anti-Irish prejudice I’d heard so much about. Instead, I kept getting compliments from the English on my “lovely accent.” Theyweren’t all uptight bigots, and I found just as much warmth and wit and spontaneity in Cambridge as back in Dublin. I took on some new English habits, which included vegetarianism, a concern for

but most of all for moments like this, when our kids are forced to register in an unforgettable way that the world is not all the same. Our globe holds delicious differences, as well as nasty ones, such as the wail of a smacked child. Despite jet travel, despite globalization, despite the Internet, it’s still, thank goodness, not yet homogenous; in the words of the poet Louis MacNeice, it’s incorrigibly plural.

The kind of revelation my daughter had in the playground struck me at nine, too. We were a Dublin Catholic family, and I remember my childhood as placid, stable, samey. But then my father took a job in New York for a year. Well, Manhattan knocked my socks off: loud voices, pizza, yellow cabs, faces of all colors. Watermelon: a fruit bigger than my head, like something from another planet. Cigarettes that weren’t tobacco but something called pot. Divorced people! (This was 1979, 16 years before the Irish would finally—and warily—vote to legalize divorce.) I was in shock, thrown off balance, like a time traveller stumbling through a hatch into the future. Estranged, sometimes alienated, often charmed. By the end of the year, I didn’t want to go home.

I did, of course, and I lived in Dublin for another 10 years. But at several subsequent points in my life, I’ve found myself in the same position—an ignorant newcomer in an unfamiliar country. I moved to England at 20, then to Canada at 28, and I’ve spent long stretches of time in France in my 30s and 40s.

I don’t want to exaggerate: I’m not some fearless world traveller. (The one time I went to China, for instance, it was part of a tour of English-language literary festivals, and I relied helplessly on a volunteer guide for haggling in markets and even crossing busy roads.) I’ve always been too focused on the big things—work and love—to take the time to seek out novel experience for its own sake. But each time my life has happened to lead me to settle somewhere new, along with the anxiety has come that remem-

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About the author Emma Donoghue is the best-selling author of Room.

Her most recent novel is The Wonder.

She also writes literary history and plays for stage and radio.

She lives in Canada with her partner and their two children.

P H O T O G R A P H BY N I N A S U B I N © 2 0 1 0

L I F E L E SS O N S

Well, Manhattan knocked my socks off: loud voices, pizza, yellow cabs, faces of all colors.

Watermelon: a fruit bigger than my head, like something from another planet. Cigarettes that weren’t tobacco but something called pot. Divorced people!

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Moving country is a shortcut to seeing the stuff of everyday life as if for the first time; it haloes the most everyday interactions and objects with strangeness.

animal rights, and enjoying the satirical eloquence of the broadsheet newspapers.

When I did come across some real cultural differences, I found them funny. For instance, I once spent a long car trip riding along with an English friend.

I’d ripped open my bag of lemon sherbets and laid it between us, in what I thought was a clear gesture: Help yourself. Whereas she spent the entire journey from Cambridge to Cornwall wondering, with growing irritation, why I lacked the manners to offer her one. Or again, when an old friend visited from Ireland, my English friends were troubled by the fact that we kept mocking each other savagely—slagging, as we’d say in Dublin—and I had to explain that this was a sign not of hostility but its opposite, a trust so deep it allowed for making fun. In fact, it demanded mockery, because how else could you express your fondness without sounding soppy and sentimental?

I’m fascinated, too, by what happens when you start all over again in a new place; the extent to which you can reinvent yourself, yes, but the amount of baggage you lug along as well. I have a hunch that the stamps in my passport have contributed most of my insights and prompted most of my questions.

Moving country is a shortcut to seeing the stuff of everyday life as if for the first time; it haloes the most everyday interactions and objects with strangeness, what the Formalist literary theorists of the early 20th century called defamiliarization.

Moving to a new place also makes you realize what’s vivid—by comparison—about where you usually live.

(Only once I’d left Ireland, for instance, did I realize that people all over the world don’t make a quick, spasmodic Sign of the Cross when driving past a church.) We came back to Canada after our recent year in France grateful for the fact that parents and teachers don’t hit children here. And that we may have to tell an official that we’re a two-mother family, but we won’t be called on to explain or justify it; that famed Canadian politeness includes a deep respect for everyone’s civil rights.

Of course, emigrants like myself end up neither fish nor fowl: not entirely of their place of origin nor of the place they’ve settled, and frequently griping about both. (These days I complain about how much it rains back in Ireland and how long the winters last here in Canada.) Living in a strange country is an interesting condition, and it’s like the broader human condition: We hark back to our childhood, or at least harp on it, but it’s a country to which we can never return. Q

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Modern Manners RE AL SIMPLE’S E TIQUE T T E E XPERT, C ATHERINE NE WMAN, OFFER S HER BE ST ADVICE ON YO U R S O CI AL QUANDAR I E S.

My neighbor watched our pets while we were on vacation and won’t accept any money. I feel terribly guilty about that.

I would like her to do it again sometime but now feel as if I would be taking advantage of her if I asked. I’m totally willing to pay! How should I handle this? Should I insist, or is that rude? Should I buy her a gift card or a gift?

P O R T R A I T BY S A R A H M AY C O C K

B. C.

I love favors for the way they humble us, for the way they help create a kind world rather than a tit-fortat, payment-for-service one. Our job, as the person being served, is to accept the favor graciously and to remember that it is probably deeply satisfying for the other person. (Plus, in this case, your neighbor might genuinely enjoy visiting with your animals.) If you want to ask your neighbor regularly and are worried about the value of her time, you could put this concern right out on the table: “I’m hoping to ask you to watch our pets again, but I don’t want you to feel taken advantage of. We’d love to pay you, if you would allow it.” If she does want to petsit again—and still doesn’t want to be paid—then respect that. And sure, go ahead and bring her a little present from your trip to express your gratitude.

Let your neighbor know that you’re available in return, if she ever needs someone to water her garden or walk her dog. Pay it forward, if you can, and do a favor for someone else. And, finally, know yourself. If it is truly hard for you to accept favors without feeling guilty, then keep it simple and pay a neighborhood teen to watch your pets.

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About Catherine The author of Catastrophic Happiness and Waiting for Birdy, Catherine Newman has shared her wisdom on matters ranging from family and friends to happiness and pickling in numerous publications. She gets advice from her husband and two opinionated children in Amherst, Massachusetts.

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My mother-in-law is close to my husband’s ex-girlfriend (by the way, the relationship ended on a bad note years ago) and asks us every year if she can invite the ex over for the holidays. We have actually had to arrange our plans so that she can accommodate both us and the ex. We recently moved across the country, and we’ll be visiting for the holidays this year, and we are dreading this inevitable request.

We believe that my mother-in-law does this to stir up drama and have a story to tell her friends. It has really messed up our relationship with her, and we do not know how to avoid it without looking “petty,” as she says, about being forced to be around the ex. I do not mind being around the ex; I just don’t think it’s appropriate. How in the world can we make this go away?

K. C.

OK, reality check: That’s the most aggressive thing I’ve heard, even within the vast and varied category of questionable in-law behavior. Where is your husband in all of this? This is his puddle to mop up. And, given her behavior, I wouldn’t worry too much about your mother-in-law’s good opinion of you. Instead, I would remind her that your holidays are precious, your vacation time is limited, and you don’t want to continue to spend them in this awkward way. She can decide to keep inviting the ex; you can decide not to visit. That is how relationships work, and life is too short for nasty games with people you love. Unless it’s pleasurable for you to take the

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high road and not react, spare yourself and refuse to play along.

I work in a small office with three other ladies. We have a monthly calendar marked with important dates and meetings as well as birthdays. Their birthdays are back-to-back in December and January, and we all celebrated them individually with cake and a small gift from the group. My birthday is in May and was on the calendar but was forgotten this year. I always go out of my way to celebrate them, but this oversight kind of hurt my feelings. I don’t want to bring it up, but is there a way to say something without sounding rude?

Of course it hurt your feelings! It feels good to be celebrated and bad not to be—especially in the context of expected reciprocity.

Still, if this omission feels more like a oneoff than like a representation of some broader neglect, I would let it go. Your coworkers care about you; they made a mistake—there’s always next year. If you do

E. B.

want to bring it up, though, maybe you could figure out what you’re hoping will happen. Do you want them to feel bad? Trolling for guilt is a pretty thankless endeavor, and if they fall into fits of horrified apology, you might find yourself embarrassed as well as hurt. Or do you simply want your birthday to be celebrated, even belatedly? If so, then go ahead and say something. As this December-January birthday season rolls

around, suggest celebrating everybody’s birthday jointly. “We can add my half-birthday to the mix,” you could say, “since somehow we forgot to celebrate it this year!” We live as adults with our fragile little-kid hearts beating inside us. If you have a chance to shore yours up by saying something, go ahead and take it.

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5 ways to join a group conversation gracefully Can we loop you in? Your next round of holiday cocktail parties will be less awkward with these strategies for asserting— and inserting—yourself.

1 K A R E N C A SS I DAY

Ask open-ended questions.

A lot of people make the mistake of thinking they have to tell a funny story or make a pithy comment on current events, and that’s not true. You just need to ask an open-

Written by Liz Loerke Illustration by Ben Wiseman

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ended question. A good question, along with eye contact and a smile, conveys “I’m friendly, I’m approachable, and I’m interested in learning about you.” I work with clients who suffer from anxiety, and I tell them to write a few questions either in a note on their phone or on an index card. I particularly like TableTopics, which are these small cards with conversation starters that you can get on Amazon.

They give you interesting questions that everybody loves to think about. Something like “If you had a million dollars to give away, what would you do with it?” That’s great because there isn’t a right or wrong answer, so people will freely share their opinions. Even better, once you ask the question, you don’t have to say anything at all!

3 Glenn Selig Offer a round of drinks.

2 E L A I N E S WA N N

L I F E L E SS O N S

Get in sync.

Entering a group conversation is almost like a dance. When you see a gathering you want to chat with, you need to make them aware of your presence. Sidle up to the group, listen in on the conversation, and use your body language to gain entry.

Mirror the group. That means if they react to a story, you react. If they laugh, you laugh—but not too loud, because that can be off-putting. The group will instinctively open up toward you to acknowledge that you are part of the conversation. They may not welcome you verbally, but once they physically turn to you, even if it’s ever so slightly, then you know you’re in.

4

An easy way to join a group is to pop in on your way to the bar. Interrupt quickly but politely and say, “I’m heading to the bar to grab a glass of wine. Anyone want one?”

When you come back, let the conversation continue. You don’t want to be the person who walks in and takes over. I like a “break and exit” approach.

When you see that there is an opening in the conversation, briefly introduce yourself: “I’m Glenn. I’m a friend of the family. I just wanted to say hello. Please go ahead—I don’t want to interrupt the conversation.” Then take a step back and listen.

PAT R I C K K I N G

Go in with a purpose.

I don’t like to address the group as a whole. I prefer to go in at an angle and talk to one person. I find the easiest way to do that is to give yourself a social purpose. By that I mean, ask for information. Think of it this way: If you were lost in the woods with a dead GPS, would you have a problem talking to people and asking directions? No, of course not. So ask for information, like “Where did you find a parking spot? Do you know if there is an after-party?” Really, any who, what, where, when, or why question will do. If you have a reason to talk to someone other than just making conversation, it’s much less daunting.

NEED MORE TIPS

for party talk?

Go to realsimple.com/ conversation.

5 K AT K I N S M A N

Compliment someone’s shoes.

While it may not be the most sophisticated entrée, it works. If you’re at a holiday party, people have probably dressed up.

They’ve made a decision about what they’re wearing, and they hope someone notices it. So if they’re wearing a beautiful pair of shoes or a great pair of glasses, let them know you think they’re fantastic! It’s the shorthand way of saying, “I think you’re interesting.” If you would prefer not to comment on someone’s outfit, compliment the host’s decor or the food. Ideally everyone at the party is there because they like this person. By entering a group saying something positive, you will give off a good first impression.

THE EXPERTS

K A R E N C A S S I DAY, P H . D. , is the president of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America.

She owns the Anxiety Treatment Center of Greater Chicago, in Deerfield, Illinois, where she resides.

E L A I N E S WA N N is a lifestyle and etiquette expert based in San Diego.

G L E N N S E L I G is a public-relations expert and the founder of the Publicity Agency, in Tampa, Florida.

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PAT R I C K K I N G is the best-selling author of Conversation Tactics and People Tactics. He lives in San Francisco, where he works as a social-skills and conversation coach.

REALSIMPLE.COM

K AT K I N S M A N is the senior food and drinks editor of Extra Crispy (owned

by Time Inc., Real Simple’s parent company) and the author of Hi, Anxiety: Life With a Bad Case of Nerves.

She lives in Brooklyn.

Booties and bonnet

by Irulea

Four generations of family Coins to commemorate Charlotte’s birth

A shawl of fine merino wool

An heirloom for a christening gown

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THE JOY OF GIVING Hand-finished jewelry crafted from sterling silver and given with love.

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BLOWNBACK BOB LENGTH | SHORT

Don’t let short hair limit you.

You can get that lifted-updo effect without a single elastic or pin. Just blow your bob away from your face to put a chic spin on your everyday style.

FOR EASY STEP-BY-STEPS FOR ALL THE STYLES IN THIS STORY, GO TO PAGE 96.

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THE GUIDE beauty

Chelsea Traber Burns Photographs by

Molly Cranna

THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT

You may wear many hats, but it’s easy to default to the same hairstyle. Here are three low-maintenance updates for every length so you’ll look pulled-together for parties and beyond.

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LENGTH | MEDIUM

Edge, drama, and volume: All it takes is two elastics and texturizer.

H A I R BY P E T E R M AT T E L I A N O AT K AT E R YA N I N C . U S I N G K E V I N M U R P H Y; M A K E U P BY K AT I E J A N E H U G H E S U S I N G T O O C O O L FO R S C H O O L ; FA S H I O N S T Y L I N G BY S AVA N N A H W H I T E

STACKED PONYTAIL

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KNOTTED HALF-UP LENGTH | LONG

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Subtle doesn’t cut it, vivid matters to me.

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®

HOW-TO STACKED PONYTAIL

STEP 1 If you’re starting with wet hair, spritz in a salt spray and rough-dry with a blow-dryer for waves.

If your hair is already dry, mist a texturizing spray, like 1 Orlando Pita Play Max Capacity Hybrid Hairspray ($28, ulta.com), from midshaft to ends to add fullness.

HOW-TO

STEP 3 For added texture and bounce, create loose waves by curling random pieces with a medium-barrel curling iron throughout the length of the ponytails.

This also helps the two blend together and look more like one. Give hair in the top section a little tug in a few spots to add lift; finish with another shot of texturizer.

STEP 2 Divide hair from ear to ear and pull the top section into a taut ponytail right at the crown, securing with a clear elastic. Do the same with the bottom section of hair, anchoring the base of the ponytail in the middle of your head, directly below the top ponytail, so that the base of it is hidden. The double ponytail is great for medium hair lengths that might not reach or stay in a high ponytail. Plus, it gives the illusion of a fuller, longer ponytail.

KNOTTED HALF-UP

1

STEP 1 After air-drying hair, divide hair from the top of each ear up to the crown. Next, create a center part through that section so you have a piece of hair in your right hand and a piece in your left hand.

STEP 2 Think of the two sections as strands of rope; tie them into a simple knot. Pull tight, then repeat to create two knots—a.k.a. a square knot. Secure the square knot by sliding in two bobby pins at its base.

STEP 3 If your hair is straight, add some texture throughout by wrapping large sections around the barrel of a one-inch curling iron. Keep flyaways at bay by smoothing the front with a light hair spray, like 2 Wella Professionals EIMI Stay Essential ($17.50, ulta.com).

HOW-TO BLOWN-BACK BOB

2

STEP 1 While hair is damp, work a mousse, like 3 Bed Head by TIGI Big Head Volume Boosting Foam ($23, ulta.com), into the roots, focusing around the hairline and the top of the head for extra lift. Brush all your hair straight back, away from your face.

STEP 2 Use your fingers to push hair back while blow-drying in the same direction. Direct the heat at the roots to create lift.

STEP 3 Create an undone, piecey texture by finger-combing a dry wax, like Alterna Caviar Style Grit Flexible Texturizing Paste ($28, ulta.com), from roots to ends. Can’t keep the sides from falling down? Slick them back flat with your hands, then slide in bobby pins that match your hair color. This also makes the look dressier and more dramatic.

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GET PARTYREADY

3

Pair your new style with an easy metallicmakeup look.

Read the how-to at realsimple. com/metallic.

S T I L L L I F E S : P H O T O G R A P H S BY P H I L I P F R I E D M A N ; P R O P S T Y L I N G BY M A I T R A N

THE GUIDE beauty

BAND TOGETHER DRESS UP A PONYTAIL WITH THESE BOHO-CHIC TIES THAT DOUBLE AS BRACELETS.

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Sweeten the pot

PRETTY SMART The latest beauty products and tips that save time, money, and—best of all—your sanity.

Written by Heather Muir Photographs by Ralph Smith

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In eight shades, from tart pink to deep plum, Chanel Rouge Allure Ink Matte Liquid Lip Colour ($37 each, chanel. com) glides on like a gloss yet sets to a matte finish. Unlike other liquid lipsticks, it’s not drying, thanks to jojoba oil.

So many (flattering, wearable) possibilities.

Anastasia Beverly Hills Master Palette

by Mario ($45, sephora.com) holds a dozen highly pigmented shimmery and matte shadows that make eye makeup easy. Use wet or dry.

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Fact: Dry nails are more likely to chip than moisturized ones. Enter Sally Hansen Color Therapy ($9 at drugstores). It contains argan, acai-berry, and primrose oils to nourish nails and make them more durable. No base coat needed. In 38 shades.

Instead of creating a smooth canvas with potentially pore-clogging silicone, Juice Beauty Phyto-Pigments Illuminating Primer ($36, juice beauty.com) uses coconut to blur lines and hydrate, so base goes on more easily and lasts longer.

CoverGirl So Lashy Mascara by blastPro ($9 at drugstores) stays wet longer than most, so you have more play time before it sets. After coating lashes, use the ball tip to separate clumps and target your inner corners and bottom lashes.

Girls with curls have a new time-saver: Spritz Moroccanoil Curl Re-Energizing Spray ($26, moroccanoil. com) into dry hair and give it a scrunch. Limp spirals (from a ponytail, for example) will become springy and shiny.

Got roots but no salon appointment? L’Oréal Professionnel Hair Touch Up ($25, lpsalons. com) has a super-fine nozzle that puts temporary hair color right where you want it—along your hairline or part. Wait until dry to style. In five shades.

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Ask the Organizer Gaming strategy

Illustration by

Every Christmas, we get more board games.

What’s the neatest way to store them?

The Ellaphant in the Room

Tons of trimmings I’ve inherited beautiful, pricey holiday decorations that have sentimental value, too. It feels impossible to part with them, but I don’t have space for all. What can I do?

Tattered boxes are an eyesore, so I like to conceal games in a closet, in a hanging sweater shelf (Threshold 6-shelf organizer, $19, target.com). Or, if you have a spare deep drawer, you can insert a pot-lid sorter (Variera organizer, $6, ikea.com). Slot in the games and you’ll avoid the avalanche that can happen when you pull one out of a pile. Another option: Toss the boxes and place each board plus pieces in its own stackable, portable drawer (Acrylic Case 5 drawers, $38, muji.com).

W. R ., via Fa ce b o ok

First define your storage space: Two lidded bins? A big ornament case? Giving yourself a clear limit sets you up to make decisions, so you can curate a collection of the favorites that fit. Then donate the rest—to a local house of worship, perhaps. Tough to let go for good? Consider framing a few that don’t make it onto the tree (or the staircase or the mantel). Hang them separately in different spots, or work them into a gallery wall. Another spacesaving way to “save” castoffs: Take photos of each and compile them in a book to display on a shelf or the coffee table (from $18, artifactuprising.com).

All dolled up I have over-the-door shoe bags for my kids’ massive collection of doll clothes, but they always end up in a heap on the floor.

Any better ideas?

G. B . , v i a Fa c e b o o k

It’s easy to get kids to stick to a storage solution if it mimics their usual routine. So if they have room in their closets, consider adding a tension rod two feet from the bottom where they can hang

PRO ORGANIZER ELLEN MADERE O F O L D LY M E , C O N N EC T I C U T, S O LV E S YO U R T R I C K I E ST D EC LU T T E R I N G D I L E M M A S.

the doll clothes just like their own (Doll hangers, $6 for 12, bedsandthreads.etsy. com). Shoes can go in a hanging jewelry bag (80-pocket canvas organizer, $25, containerstore.com).

No closet space? Try a craft cart (Seville Classics 10-drawer cart, $40, amazon.com).

It holds a huge stash, doesn’t require sorting, and comes with wheels, so it can travel from room to room.

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GOT A QUESTION?

Submit it at realsimple. com/organizing.

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P O R T R A I T BY S A R A H M AY C O C K

THE GUIDE home

P. J ., via Fa ceb o ok

“How many tablespoons are in a ¼ cup?”

“What is chicory?”

“Play some bossa nova music.”

“How do you say ‘delicious’ in Spanish?”

Family style by you. Help by

.

LIGHT IT UP When your item is just too big to cover with paper (a dollhouse, a rocking chair, a bike), “wrap” it with strings of holiday lights. Cover the entire exterior, securing the cords with standard twist ties, ribbon, or fishing line. Don’t worry which way the bulbs point—the haphazardness is part of what makes it feel so festive.

THE GUIDE home

THAT’S A WRAP! Got an awkwardly shaped gift? (Bicycle?

Basketball? Violin?)

Here are four fun, easy ways to present it.

Written by

Betsy Goldberg Photographs by

Jamie Chung Craft Styling by

Jodi Levine

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IT’S THE DRY FOOD HE’S BEEN WAITING FOR.

TENDER, MEATY MORSELS

TASTY, CRUNCHY KIBBLE

We’ve created an entirely new kind of dry cat food, featuring two unique textures to appeal to your cat’s appetite.

Introducing Purina ONE® Tender Selects Blend.

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THE GUIDE home

MAKE A SAMPLER Want a more personal way to give money?

Arrange the cash like an assortment of sweets in a tissue paper–lined plain white box. (Find boxes in all sizes at containerstore.com.)

Fold or roll the bills and tie with twine or ribbon, then nestle them in cupcake liners in various shapes and shades (a great way to use up any leftovers, btw). Sprinkle in a few random trinkets—candy canes, mini tree, reindeer figurine— for even more surprise and delight.

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great taste, half the sugar.

Squeezed from fresh oranges with 100% Vitamin C and no artificial sweeteners.

SUPERSIZE A CHRISTMAS CR ACKER

THE GUIDE home

Take a cue from the classic party treat and insert biggish gifts (stuffed animals, instruments) into oversize DIY tubes.

Roll a 24-by-36-inch piece of poster board into a cylinder, securing with duct tape. Cover with a sheet of wrapping paper, adhering it with doublestick tape. On each end, tape crepe paper about 3 inches in. (This metallic crepe paper is from castleintheair.biz.)

Slip in the gift, gather the paper at each end, and cinch with a ribbon bow.

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Can turning hate to love begin simply by putting pen to paper?

Putting thoughts on paper can be a powerful way to express feelings, heal and inspire. We asked five people whose lives have been touched by violence or cruelty to write Letters of Peace that reflect their enduring faith in humanity.

Meet the authors, read their letters and learn more about the power of paper.

Visit howlifeunfolds.com/lettersofpeace | #lettersofpeace

A charitable donation was made on behalf of the author of this letter. © 2016 Paper and Packaging Board.

From the Makers of Paper and Packaging

WANT MORE EASY DIYS?

THE GUIDE home

Find out how to add pop-ups, pleating, and fringe to your presents at realsimple. com/wrap.

JUST ROLL WITH IT You need something malleable to wrap a gift with curves. Enter crepe-paper streamers, which, like an elastic bandage, have the flexibility to conform to any form. Start anywhere and overlap the layers until your gift is covered, then secure with clear tape. If you end up with spherical shapes, it’s simple to turn them into a snowman: Using hot glue, adhere the spheres to one another and add construction-paper accents (eyes, mouth, nose, buttons), then tie on a streamer scarf.

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AMERICA, LET’S DO LUNCH

TM

Charles and Maude Spann, SINCE 1912 & 1917. Even after 76 years together, they know how to keep love fresh. Now, they and 1 in 6 seniors face the threat of hunger and millions more live in isolation. So pop by, drop off a hot meal and say a warm hello. Volunteer for Meals on Wheels at AmericaLetsDoLunch.org

The vets will see you now LE T THE FUR FLY! ANSWER S TO YOUR HAIRIE ST PE T QUE STIONS.

Q.

Q.

Catitude adjustment

Rough patch

Our kitten is skittish, especially around new people. How can we help her relax?

The folds on my fouryear-old bulldog get irritated and smell bad. We wipe them with unscented baby wipes every day, but it’s no help. Any better ideas?

A. You can’t always transform a taciturn cat into a social butterfly, but you can ease her anxiety. Give her a cat tree or another perch in the living room (or wherever guests gather), and offer an item that soothes her—a pinch of catnip, a motorized toy— when visitors stop by. “You’re not asking her to interact with people—just to comfortably coexist,” says veterinary behaviorist Lisa Radosta. If she scampers off, don’t chase her, says veterinarian Andy Roark: “You won’t make progress unless she can be social on her own terms.” Some cats do turn out to be unwavering introverts, notes Roark, but most will become calmer around company within a few months if you take the same approach each time.

Q. Plucky streak

Why does my parrot pull out his feathers?

S. J., via Facebook

A. A bird can get so ruffled by a change in his environment—a new pet at home, say, or even a new cage—that he will pluck feathers as a calming mechanism, says avian veterinarian Alexandra Adamcak. Distraction can help. Try offering a foraging toy that has your bird work to retrieve food and treats (Foraging System, $12, drsfoster smith.com). “It reduces

N. P., via Facebook

the time he has to dedicate to anxious behaviors,” says Adamcak.

Book a vet visit if the plucking doesn’t let up.

This could be a sign of dermatitis or parasites or another medical issue.

Depending on the diagnosis, the doctor may advise taking the (caged) bird outside for 15 minutes of sunlight a day and switching to a nutrient-rich pellet diet (Premium Daily Diet, $7 for 1.25 pounds, lafeber. com). Says Adamcak, “The healthier the bird is physically and mentally, the less likely he is to destroy feathers.”

THE PET EXPERTS ALEXANDRA ADAMCAK, D.V.M.,

All Creatures Animal Hospital, East Amherst, New York.

GAYLE O’KONSKI, D.V.M.,

Morris Animal Hospital, Granger, Indiana.

LISA RADOSTA, D.V.M.,

Florida Veterinary Behavior Service, West Palm Beach, Florida.

ANDY ROARK, D.V.M.,

Written by Sarah Grossbart Photograph by James Day

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Cleveland Park Hospital, Greenville, South Carolina.

A. This irritation is common among bulldogs, whose folds trap moisture, creating an environment for bacteria and yeast to grow, says veterinarian Gayle O’Konski.

Regular baby wipes aren’t the answer. They leave the skin wet, so they can exacerbate the problem.

But medicated wipes, which are alcohol-based, will treat the dermatitis and dry quickly. Twice a day, gently clean both sides of the folds using a product that contains the antifungal miconazole (like Micona Hex + Triz Wipes; $11 for 50, amazon. com). The process takes only a few minutes, but if your pooch gets squirmy, you can settle her with a spoonful of peanut butter as you clean. After 10 days, the redness should clear, but it’s best to continue doing wipe-downs once a week to prevent future flare-ups.

GALLERY STOCK

THE GUIDE home

L. L., via Facebook

Feed the good. ™

Dogs bring out the good in us.

Pedigree brings out the good in them.

Pedigree.com

THE GUIDE health

DEALING WITH THE OTHER HANGOVERS ‘Tis the season for excess—and we’re not just referring to eggnog. Whether you overdid it at dinner or are suffering from stress, we’ve got your recovery plan.

Written by Stacey Colino Illustrations by Noma Bar

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THE GUIDE health

The stress hangover Your mile-long shopping list has yet to be addressed; houseguests are imminent and you’re nowhere near prepared; coordinating the family calendar has been impossible, and you’re supposed to be in three places at one time. Whatever the source, a spike in stress can make you feel agitated, angry, drained, weepy, or unable to sleep—or, let’s face it, all of the above. This happens when the brain’s fear center triggers the stress and fight-or-flight responses, a flood of hormones that revs up breathing, spikes blood sugar, and increases natural steroids so you can fight off an attacker or run for your life. That makes sense from an evolutionary perspective but is an overreaction for most modern-day stress, explains psychologist Marc Schoen, Ph.D., an assistant clinical professor of medicine at the UCLA Geffen School of Medicine and the author of Your Survival Instinct Is Killing You. In fact, it can exacerbate the problem. “The end result could be an abundance of inflammation, leading to accelerated aging or symptoms like irritable bowel syndrome [IBS] or asthma,” says Schoen.

THE FOOD HANGOVER

R EC OV E RY P L A N

Interrupt the story line. Take a break and allow yourself a moment to correct distorted thoughts about the situation. Ask yourself: Am I catastrophizing? Making this into a bigger deal than it has to be? “Fostering mindfulness—and reminding yourself that people [including you] are fallible—helps distance you from the source of stress,” says Allen Elkin, Ph.D., the director of the Stress Management and Counseling Center, in New York City, and the author of Stress Management for Dummies.

Settle down. Spend a few minutes quieting your mind with deep breathing. It calms your sympathetic nervous system, switching off the fight-or-flight response, says Elkin.

Get moving. You’ve heard it before: Take a brisk walk and cool off.

That’s because, aside from providing a scenic distraction, short doses of moderate exercise (five to seven minutes will do) can boost your immune response, says Schoen.

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After overindulging in rich holiday fare (or simply eating too much), you wake up bloated and sluggish.

“You’ve basically exceeded the capacity of your gastrointestinal [GI] tract to digest food,” says Dawn Wiese Adams, M.D., an assistant professor of medicine of gastroenterology at Vanderbilt University Medical Center, in Nashville. The food just sits there until it can be digested and transported through the GI tract, which can leave your stomach and small intestine distended and your belly aching.

R EC OV E RY P L A N

Mangia! “People often undereat or avoid food completely to make up

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for overeating the day before,” says Keri Gans, R.D., a dietitian in New York City and the author of The Small Change Diet. But fasting can backfire. “By the end of the day, you’re so hungry, you could easily end up overeating again.”

Instead, have a meal high in fiber and low in salt, and drink plenty of water.

Get moving. “Cardio exercise— a brisk walk or a bike ride—speeds up gastrointestinal motility,” says Adams. And the endorphins released by the activity will boost your mood, making you feel less crummy overall.

Try ginger and mint. Numerous studies have shown that ginger can relieve mild to moderate nausea.

Have some ginger tea, or just grate fresh ginger into warm water.

And peppermint oil has been found to ease symptoms such as bloating, gas, and abdominal cramps by calming the GI tract (in a study of people with IBS). One note: Peppermint can exacerbate reflux, so if you’re prone to heartburn, skip the mint and neutralize stomach acid with an antacid instead.

The talking hangover Your takeaway from nonstop holiday revelry: a voice huskier than Kathleen Turner’s. The technical cause is “acute inflammation of the vocal folds,” says Michael Benninger, M.D., the chairman of the Head and Neck Institute, at the Cleveland Clinic.

Inflammation causes fluid accumulation in the larynx, lowering the pitch of your voice. “How long this lasts depends on the severity of the trauma,” says Benninger. If you’re still whisper-hoarse after four days, see a doctor.

THE GUIDE health

R EC OV E RY P L A N

Shhhh. Rest your voice. With the convenience of texting and e-mail, you have no excuse for straining to be heard (er, except maybe if you have little kids). For a day or two, talk as little as possible and only “in gentle library tones,” says Benninger.

Rehydrate your vocal folds.

Small sips of water with a squeeze of lemon, noncaffeinated herbal teas, lozenges, sugarless gum—these all stimulate saliva flow and lubricate the vocal folds, says Benninger.

They also “keep the throat moist so that you don’t clear it,” he says.

(Throat clearing aggravates the injury.)

Although gargling with salt water may be Grandma’s best advice, says Benninger, it’s ineffective here: “The gargles never get close enough to the larynx to help.”

Seek out steam. Whether you sit in a steam room or take a long, hot shower, humid air moisturizes those passageways, making your throat feel better and possibly hastening healing.

Lost your voice?

Gargling might feel nice, but it’s not effective in healing the injured vocal folds. Saliva stimulators, such as lozenges, herbal tea, and sugarless gum, are a better bet.

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THE GUIDE health

The nightmare hangover When your sleep pattern is disrupted—whether by anxiety over dysfunctional family dynamics or just a nonstop schedule—nightmares are more likely to follow.

And disturbing dreams can leave you feeling seriously out of sorts— hazy, tense, even nauseated. “When you’re dreaming of an unpleasant situation, the same areas of the brain are activated as would be in your waking life,” says Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles. “It’s as if you were actually living the experience.” The stress hormones triggered by a bad dream are still flooding your bloodstream for the next few hours, and your body and mind suffer the aftereffects.

R EC OV E RY P L A N

Take a cold shower. “It shocks your system,” says Carsi Hughes, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist at Dominican University, in River Forest, Illinois, “changing the channel in your body and brain.”

Get it out of your head. Write down or record as much as you can about the dream and how it made you feel, Raymond suggests. “Putting the dream into words engages the prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain that’s involved in reasoning and judgment, calming the fear and anxiety,” she says.

Analyze it. “If you can change your thoughts about the dream, you can change your feelings,” says Hughes, and that in turn will soothe your sympathetic nervous system.

Say you dreamed that you were trying to get away from someone: Consider whether the person you were trying to evade reflects a part of you—perhaps you’re trying to tell yourself to leave something behind.

THE WORKOUT HANGOVER You’ve been too busy with obligations to get to the gym. You try to make up for that with one massive Saturday session that includes a challenging spin class and an intense interaction with the stairclimber. The next day, you’re paying for it. “As your muscles repair themselves, inflammation occurs and impinges on the nerves surrounding the muscles, causing pain,” says Cedric Bryant, Ph.D., the chief science officer for the American Council on Exercise. Although slight soreness is typically a sign that your muscles have been stressed and will get stronger with adequate recovery time, it doesn’t make walking any easier.

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R EC OV E RY P L A N

Ice, ice, baby. You might be craving a hot bath, but those achy spots will respond better to an ice pack, which can ease inflammation and interrupt pain signals, says Fabio Comana, M.S., a faculty member in the department of exercise and nutritional sciences at San Diego State University.

Drink tart cherry juice. A 2016 study published in the journal Nutrients saw benefits for semiprofessional male soccer players who consumed 30 milliliters (about an ounce) of tart Montmorency cherry juice, which is high in anti-inflammatory

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compounds, twice a day for eight days. These players had significantly less inflammation and muscle damage following an intense session of prolonged, repeated sprints than did those who consumed a placebo.

The athletes drank the juice (which is sold in supermarkets) morning and night, but experts say that a shot after exercise will do the trick.

Stay active. Classic hair-of-the-dog advice: Go for a walk or an easy bike ride; do any activity that gently engages the sore muscles the following day to stimulate blood flow to the area and help the healing process. Says Comana, “This helps clean up the cellular debris from the muscle tears.”

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“Missing out on sleep deprives your brain synapses, muscles, ligaments, and joints of the chance to reset and renew,” says Matthew Edlund, M.D., the director of the Center for Circadian Medicine, in Sarasota, Florida. This could compromise your reaction time, coordination, strength, balance, judgment, and mood. Research published in 2000 in the journal Occupational and Environmental Medicine found that going 17 to 19 hours without sleep—say, being awake from 6 A.M. to 11 P.M.—can impair judgment and motor reaction time as much as if a person were legally drunk.

THE PERKS OF STRESS

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Beware carbs and caffeine. Make healthy choices even when your body is crying out for doughnuts.

(Lack of sleep triggers a surge of cortisol, which triggers appetite.)

Sleep specialist Michael Breus, Ph.D., the author of The Power of When, suggests that you enjoy your usual cup of coffee—but just one. And eat protein, rather than carbs, for steady energy. Also, get outside so the sunlight can help reset your body clock and shake off the sluggishness.

Use aromatherapy. For a quick alertness boost, inhale peppermint or rosemary oil. Research from the University of Northumbria, in England, found that the scent of peppermint increases alertness and memory function. And a study published in International Journal of Neuroscience found that being exposed to the scent of rosemary for three minutes alters brain-wave patterns in ways that increase mental agility.

Have a chat. Even if you feel beat, talk to your neighbor at the train station or call a friend for tea.

“Social interactions improve alertness and have a positive effect on your body’s clock,” says Edlund.

In fact, research published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science found that when people cooperatively engage with others for even 10 minutes, they experience a lift in cognitive functions, such as attention and flexible thinking.

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DECKED OUT Need some holiday-outfit inspo?

Let these four pairs of sisters (with different shapes, different styles) be your guides.

J E SS I C A & L AU R E N LEIBOWITZ THE GUIDE fashion

ON JESSICA (left): A metallic T-shirt looks sleek tucked into a waistdefining kneelength fringe skirt.

Accessories are easy—just go with anything statement-making (here, boho gold jewelry and a beaded clutch).

ON LAUREN (right): Floral appliqués and peekaboo lace elevate this quintessential A-line dress. The inverted pleats add volume (without bulk) to flatter hourglass figures.

TO B U Y ON JESSICA:

Zara shirt, $40, zara.com for similar styles.

Lauren Ralph Lauren skirt, $40, marshalls.com.

ON LAUREN:

Topshop dress, $160, topshop.com.

Written by

Brandi Broxson Photographs by

João Canziani

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ON KERRY (left): This dress has it all—romantic off-the-shoulder sleeves, a plunging neckline, intricate cutouts at the waist. Pair it with twinkly drop earrings and hit the town.

ON KAREN (right): This jeweltone stunner is buttoned-up enough for the office party.

The playful ruffle and waistcinching belt give straight figures a little more shape.

TO B U Y ON KERRY:

Topshop dress, $280, topshop.com.

ON KAREN:

Reiss for Bloomingdale’s dress, $360, blooming dales.com.

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THE GUIDE fashion

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C O U RT N E Y & BR ANDI SPILLER ON COURTNEY

(left): A flowy patterned maxi skirt showcases curves while providing coverage. Balance proportions with a fitted black sweater and simple pumps or flats.

ON BRANDI (right): Iridescent accordion pleats feel celebratory (without looking too saccharine) when paired with a structured top.

Since it’s a midi cut, add strappy pumps to lengthen legs.

TO B U Y ON COURTNEY:

THE GUIDE fashion

Talbots sweater, $149, talbots. com. Alice + Olivia skirt, $695, blooming dales.com.

ON BRANDI: Ralph Lauren top, $350, tjmaxx.com.

Zara skirt, $70, zara.com for similar styles.

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DAW N KU RT Z C RO M P TO N & SONIA KU RT Z G R A SS E ON DAWN (left): Winter white trousers stand out in a room full of LBDs. A lattice peplum top with bell sleeves is visually arresting and adds arm coverage.

ON SONIA (right): Crimson taffeta feels inherently festive for dinner and dancing.

A bateau neckline flatters broad shoulders and serves as the perfect canvas for a dazzling statement necklace.

TO B U Y ON DAWN:

THE GUIDE fashion

Designers Remix Charlotte Eskildsen top, $340, Bloomingdale’s, 800-232-1854.

Talbots pants, $99, talbots.com.

ON SONIA: Adrianna Papell dress, $160, adrianna papell.com.

FOR ADDITIONAL BUYING INFO, SEE CREDITS (PAGE 218).

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“UGH, SHE’S BEING SO PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE” Ever said that about someone? Are you sure what it means? (FYI, it’s not just a synonym for annoying.) Here’s how to identify and tackle the issue head on—just in time for some cozy holiday togetherness.

Written by Sharlene Breakey Illustrations by Anna Parini

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THE GUIDE family

C O N S I D E R T H E F O L L OW I N G : Your friend texts you a question and, after you answer, writes, “Thanks for texting me back. I know how busy you are.” Your coworker apologizes for forgetting to invite you to a meeting. Your mother-inlaw says, “Great job on that turkey!”

All good, right? So why do you feel punched in the gut? Because maybe those seemingly nice comments weren’t nice at all. Maybe you’ve been hit with a passive-aggressive jab—a hurtful action (or, in some more complicated cases, an inaction) in disguise. Feeling off about an exchange may be a sign that your friend’s text was dusted in sarcasm, your coworker purposefully left you off the meeting invite, and your mother-in-law thinks that you have the turkey-roasting skills of an eight-year-old. “Passive-aggressive behavior is sugarcoated hostility,” says Scott Wetzler, Ph.D., the author of Living With the Passive Aggressive Man. “It appears innocuous, but underneath there is a lot of anger.

It’s meant to hurt.” Worse, it is nearly impossible to call out the perpetrator, who can squirm away with a simple “You’re so sensitive!” or “Oh, come on, it was a joke.” And by the end of the exchange you are convinced that you’re the crazy one. It’s murky waters. Let’s wade in together, shall we?

WHO, ME? PASSIVEAGGRESSIVE?

Why do we act this way?

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Passive-aggressive behavior: the definition It all starts with being angry—about the past, about a perceived injustice (true or not), about being treated unfairly. According to Signe Whitson, a coauthor of The Angry Smile, there are four ways to express anger.

(We’ll get to the fourth—most healthy—way later on.) The first is plain old aggression, “when you openly trample on other people, putting yourself first,” she says. Next there is being passive, when people just withdraw. The third is being passive-aggressive, which, contrary to what you may think, isn’t a combination of the first two. Rather, it’s a covert way of expressing anger.

It goes beyond the classic backhanded compliment. It’s the coworker who agrees to help you on a project, then doesn’t do the work; the friend who consistently arrives late for lunch dates; the spouse who tells you to pick the takeout, then complains about your choice; the teenager who says he’ll take out the trash but leaves it; the roommate who brings home your favorite flavor of ice cream right after you’ve said that you’re trying to lose weight.

“It can be as simple as ‘forgetting’ to send someone a holiday card, just to make her feel bad,” says Katherine Crowley, M.Ed., a coauthor of Mean Girls at Work. In each scenario, there’s an underlying lack of care and an intent to wound, even if it’s not obvious.

The main reason: We’re afraid to express anger. And when we tamp it down too far, it finds a way to come out sideways. “There is a taboo against anger. It’s not considered a healthy emotion, even though you can’t navigate life successfully without it,” says Andrea Brandt, Ph.D., the author of 8 Keys to Eliminating Passive-Aggressiveness. “Some people grow up in households where they can’t express feelings openly—maybe it’s abusive or just frowned upon—so they learn to do it in hidden ways,” says Wetzler.

In fact, the term was first used clinically during World War II to describe soldiers who weren’t directly defiant, knowing they could face retribution, but who found ways to avoid following orders. With kids—who are struggling to express frustration or anger in the face of authority (their parents)—passiveaggressive behavior can show up in a number of ways: stalling, sarcasm, or plain old eye rolls. It’s all an attempt to release pressure without overt rage.

“Many passive-aggressive people don’t realize what they’re doing,” says Andrea Brandt, Ph.D., the author of Mindful Anger, a Pathway to Emotional Freedom. Could that be you? If you frequently feel inadequate, frustrated, irritable, or depressed, it’s easy to want to undermine the self-esteem of others.

Ask yourself a few questions: Do I have a hard time saying no, then ignore the work after I agree to take it on? Do I feel as if people in authority are trying to thwart me—and does that make me want to cut them down to size?

Does my need to be thought of as a nice person make direct confrontation difficult? Yes, yes, yes?

Insecurity is another driver of passive-aggressive behavior. Dread— of harming relationships, of being perceived as “not nice,” of getting fired—can cause us to toss off a Teflon-coated sarcastic e-mail or a backhanded compliment. And for women, being passive-aggressive can be a sneaky way to be competitive when straight-on aggression may result in unfair labeling. “For survival purposes, women learn to tend and befriend, so in competitive environments it can be harder to proclaim, ‘I’m going to beat you,’” says Crowley.

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Try the following tactics.

RECOGNIZE your anger.

“Emotions like anger are felt by our bodies first—our heart beating faster or a heaviness in our chest,” says Brandt. Give yourself space before reacting.

THINK before you speak.

“If you feel something bad welling up, just don’t say anything,” says author Katherine Crowley. Take a deep breath and walk away.

Given time and an alternative outlet (say, a long walk), the anger will dissipate.

TALK it out with someone else. Find your spouse or a friend—someone safe— so you can vent before your emotions take on an unwieldy life of their own.

MAKE AMENDS. If you do say something jabby, ask yourself, “Did I do that to hurt them?” If the answer is yes, be honest and apologize.

What we should be doing instead The best response is to tackle anger the fourth way: assertively. And, sigh, it’s the hardest. “I tell people to make friends with their anger, to consider it a basic part of being human that ebbs and flows,” says Whitson. Only after you feel in control, understanding your anger or insecurity, can you respond assertively but calmly—with respect for the other person. Of course, that’s if you are the one being passiveaggressive. (If you’re not sure, see box, above.) But what if you’re on the receiving end? It’s bound to happen—especially at this time of year. “Passive-aggressive behavior flourishes during the holidays, when everyone’s stress is peaking and the jockeying between family members is endless,” says Crowley.

To help, here are seven common situations with appropriate reactions and responses. (Good luck.)

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CLASSIC SCENARIO: You’re prepping a holiday meal, and your sister-inlaw is “keeping you company” in the kitchen. In other words, she’s hovering, wineglass in hand, and commenting on the “unusual” spices you add and the “cute” little paring knife you use to chop the celery.

“I’d be lost without my Cuisinart,” she says, while you tediously slice Brussels sprouts into slivers by hand.

WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON:

Whether it’s the scenario above or your mother-in-law saying, after you mention a promotion at work, “That’s so great—I’m just sorry the hours keep you away from the kids,” the culprit might be insecurity.

(Might be. Or the person may simply be mean-spirited, but your reaction is the same.) Perhaps your sister-inlaw is unhappy in her job—but very good at cooking!—or your motherin-law is jealous of your relationship with her son.

HOW TO REACT: First talk yourself off the cliff. “In the face of a veiled attack, attacking back is a no-win,” says Laura Markham, Ph.D., the author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids. “I like to say, ‘Stop, drop’— and by that I mean any agenda you might have—‘and breathe.’ Try to assume the best, that the person has good intentions, but that you also have no need to defend yourself.” That way, you are less likely to respond sarcastically or defensively. Go for confidence and kindness. “By not continuing the covert attacks, you shift the whole tone of the conversation,” says Markham. Try something like “I’ve been meaning to ask you about that food processor of yours. I’m sure it’s much faster.” Or to your mother-in-law: “I wonder about the hours, too. But right now I feel like this is right for our family.”

Then, Markham suggests, you can add something genuinely nice, such as “Maybe you could give me a demonstration sometime” or “You did an amazing job with your kids” before offering a smile. “If you can do that and mean it, you all win,” she says. You’ve maintained your integrity. If you don’t think that you can swallow your bile, change the subject. “Say, ‘Oh, I have to bring the garbage out to the garage,’ then bolt,” says Markham. Or prearrange a signal with your husband so that he can swoop in.

In the face of a veiled attack from a mother-in-law, never attack back.

Stop, drop (meaning, your agenda), and breathe. This gives you time to remember that you have no need to defend yourself.

YO U R S P O U S E CLASSIC SCENARIO: For weeks, your

husband has promised that he will take down the pumpkin novelty lights strung up on the porch for Halloween. It wasn’t so bad through the fall, but now it’s after Thanksgiving. Fed up, you post a shot of your

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orange, glowing home on Facebook, captioned sarcastically: It’s so nice of Jon to leave these lights as a bit of a change for Santa, don’t you think? When you get home, the lights are down, and he has added a reply: Public shaming. Nice touch.

WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON: This one is tricky—because both of you behaved badly. “Promising and then failing to remove those lights is actually passive-aggressive,” says Whitson, even if it just seems like lazy behavior. “But so is your response.” Your husband has some deep-seated annoyance or anger that’s driving him to ignore your request. You are angry and using sarcasm instead of telling the truth. A funny back-and-forth can lighten the mood, but it’s not solving anything.

HOW TO REACT: “Managing your own anger is a part of the process when you’re dealing with a passiveaggressive person, especially when it’s your spouse,” says Whitson.

Start by apologizing for your post.

Even if he laughs it off, you need to forge ahead; explain that you wrote what you wrote because he made you feel unimportant. “These kinds of interactions—trying to shame someone jokingly on Facebook— chip away at a relationship,” says Whitson. “Dealing directly, openly, and, most important, offline is healthier for you.” (Not to mention

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I N - L AW S

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for your friends, who are probably uneasy at peeking through a toopersonal window.) Then use the incident as a segue to get to the root of it all: “When you say that you will do something and then don’t, it makes me wonder if a part of you is angry with me for making the request in the first place.” If he denies this, Whitson says to accept it as part of the process. “If you continue to gently but directly confront situations, he will be less comfortable reacting in his usual manner,” she says. Wetzler agrees: “The more you address anger in a businesslike, noncharged way, the better off you’ll be in the future.”

OLD FRIENDS CLASSIC SCENARIO: A friend, who

wants to hang out more than you typically can, texts a question.

You answer, though not instantly, and you also chattily ask how her new puppy is. She responds with a cool “Thanks for getting back to me. I know you’re busy.” Feeling guilty, you make a lunch date, even though work is crazy, and she arrives 45 minutes late. Your blood boils as you remember the other times she’s pulled this—but then she comes out with so many excuses and sweet apologies that you figure you must be overreacting.

WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON: Is chronic lateness passive-aggressive behavior? In this case, yes. You aren’t living up to your friend’s expectations, and she’s using subtle ways—or innocuous texts—to make you feel bad.

HOW TO REACT: “Passive-aggressive people make you doubt yourself,

but you need to remember that you didn’t do anything wrong,” says Judith Orloff, M.D., the author of Emotional Freedom. Your busyness is not the issue here. Don’t bring up her behavior at lunch. As long as your own emotions are roiling, it’s too easy to dole out doses of sarcasm and end up feeling lousy.

But resolve to set some boundaries later. “The reality is, sometimes passive-aggressive friends aren’t even mad at you. They’re just mad and taking it out on you,” says Orloff. Say something like “Your last text was pretty curt. Do you think that’s because you were upset that it took me a while to respond?”

According to Whitson, “The more you shine a light on the anger, the less likely she will respond that way the next time.” Or say, “I know you had problems that made you late, and I get it. But my schedule is busy, too, and I would so appreciate it if you could be on time next time.”

If she shows up late again, be even firmer: “I love you, but if you can’t be on time, we’ll have to stop making plans for a bit.” Says Orloff, “When we set clear limits with friends, everyone ultimately appreciates it.”

YO U R FA M I LY CLASSIC SCENARIO: As you’re about

to scoop some gooey marshmallowtopped sweet potatoes onto your plate, your mom says, in front of everyone, “Honey, you are looking so slim and beautiful. Maybe you want to skip those?”

WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON: Who knows? Jealousy of your youth?

An attempt to retain some power over your life as you become an independent adult (more likely)?

Habit? Getting into the subject, though, sends you right back to middle school. “Even when you’re age 30, the smallest things your

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family members say can trigger those old feelings,” says Whitson.

But that doesn’t mean that you have to lie down and take it.

HOW TO REACT: Do not engage.

Simply say, “Thanks, but I really like them,” as you take the scoop.

Then pass the dish to your table neighbor, striking up a conversation as you do this. “If you don’t give the passive-aggressive family authority any juice, it ends things,” says Orloff.

“She does this to disempower you, but she can’t if you stay feeling good about yourself.” That said, it helps to prepare. Assume that some family member is going to say something annoying or hurtful and you’ll be less likely to take the bait. It might also help to figure out beforehand where zingers may come from. So when your mom comments on your hair or your uncle snidely mentions your marital status, you’ll be ready with a simple, shut-it-down comment, and you might even enjoy the challenge

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of managing the situation properly.

After the holidays are over, you can revisit any offending comments by saying, in the least condescending tone you can muster, something like “You know, when you say stuff like that, it embarrasses me, and I don’t think you mean to do that.”

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gathering, you ask your teenage daughter to help wrap presents, and she says, “Sure—in a minute.” A half hour later, she’s still binge-watching season five of Gilmore Girls, so you ask again. Again she says, “Sure—in a minute” (exasperated and snippy this time). Half an hour later, you’re still waiting.

WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON: Yes, this is passive-aggressive behavior.

“It mushrooms in adolescence because teens are trying to develop autonomy while still relying on— and resenting—your control,” says Wetzler. It’s not necessarily defiance; it’s confusion. Maurice J. Elias, Ph.D., a coauthor of The Joys & Oys of Parenting, says, “When teens are uncooperative, often it’s because they don’t know how they feel— about relatives, about how much to participate, about the present that they bought. They are trying to figure things out.” And instead of laying all of their emotions bare, and possibly getting angry, they release the pressure in other ways.

HOW TO REACT: Consider this an opportunity to help your teen become an assertive adult, not a passive-aggressive one. In a lighthearted tone, help her to recognize her inner conflict by saying, “You seem torn about all of this holiday stuff.” When she fires back with “Because you are annoying me!” follow with “I know this time of year can be overwhelming, and Gran is

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probably going to criticize what you wear, but family traditions are important. Let’s promise to help each other through the rocky parts, OK?” Not only will you help her untangle her emotions but you will also send the message that it’s normal to be bothered by family interactions. And take heart: When handled appropriately in happy households, adolescents’ passiveaggressive behavior almost always disappears. “Once they get a sense of their own autonomy, kids outgrow it,” says Wetzler.

Of course, parents can’t always respond like saints. So the next time your 16-year-old rolls her eyes at you, Brandt says, it’s perfectly fine to call her on it: “That feels disrespectful. Is there any way you could say what you meant by putting that in a sentence?”

COWORKERS CLASSIC SCENARIO: You are deep

into a project when you take a couple of extra days off for Christmas.

Despite letting everyone know that you are working through your vacation and that you should still be on every e-mail chain, you hear from a colleague that, in your absence, the project moved to a new stage without your input.

WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON: One of two things. The culprit may be vying with you for credit and deliberately cutting you out. “Technology makes passive-aggressive behavior easier. You can keep people out of the loop by pretending that you forgot to add them or by claiming there was something

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wrong with their reception,” says Crowley. Or it could be a simple mistake.

HOW TO REACT: Treat the situation as a simple mistake, even if your gut says it’s not. Firing off a sarcastic e-mail will only make you look unprofessional.

“It also doesn’t work to confront the person with something like ‘You always do that. Clearly you have a problem with me,’ ” says Crowley. A passiveaggressive person will rarely admit to the behavior, so in the end you may look like the crazy one. If possible, handle the situation face-to-face. Go to your coworker and firmly say, “I’m sure it wasn’t your intention to leave me off that chain. Going forward, please remember to include me on all e-mails about the project.” Turn it into a simple business transaction.

B O SS CLASSIC SCENARIO: You ask for a new project, and your boss hits you with “You know this requires 200 percent, and you’ve got so much on your plate!

You are Supermom with those three kids! What do you think about Meg overseeing the project with you?”

WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON: Make no mistake, your boss is implying that you can’t handle the job. Go ahead and get in touch with your anger, but use it wisely.

HOW TO REACT: You don’t want to roll over. Neither do you want to yell that she’s not paying you enough to hire a full-time nanny. Instead, offer a compromise. In a calm, assertive manner, say, “I hear you have concerns, but it won’t be a problem. How about we keep in close contact, and if you have problems with my work, you can let me know. I’m always open to feedback.”

PEACE ON EARTH

Memorize these 10 go-to phrases for softening a potentially hostile situation.

Go to realsimple.com/peace.

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Work & Money A M E R I C A N VO I C E S

HEATHER JASSY • Senior vice president of values-aligned business at Etsy • Based in Hudson, New York

What was your childhood like?

I grew up in the South— in Texas, Tennessee, Georgia, and Alabama.

My father is a minister.

We always had people staying at our house who were going through something difficult.

My parents started an adult literacy center in our town and ran a community food bank.

Right out of college, you owned and ran a bookstore.

The owners of this place were ready to retire, but they wanted to keep it open for the community [in Birmingham], and they gifted it to me. It was a dream come true.

COURTESY OF ETSY

What was it like jumping into that?

It quickly makes you aware of what you’re good at and what you’re not good at.

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I loved marketing and planning events in the space. The part I didn’t love was the operations—things like inventory management. It was a really hard job.

I worked 12 hours a day.

After six years, you had to shut down.

It wasn’t sustainable financially. I probably kept it open a year longer than I should have, but I felt tremendous responsibility to the community—and I was personally attached.

What happened next?

I spent some time going back to school in art and teaching yoga.

When I thought about the bookstore, what I missed most was the feeling of community.

All day, people would come into the shop and talk to me about their lives and problems.

Written by

Jane Porter

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Heather Jassy will be the first to tell you that there’s no such thing as a right (or wrong) path.

By the time she started working at the e-commerce site Etsy, she had been a practicing therapist and a bookstore owner. Now a senior vice president, Jassy, 41, helps Etsy’s 1.7 million sellers grow and develop their businesses. She spoke with RS about what it takes to grow and develop a career.

After about five years, you changed careers again.

A friend offered me a job at an e-commerce start-up, and that was appealing. When it became clear that the company was not going to grow, I applied for a job developing Etsy’s Hudson, New York, office [in 2011]. It sounded a little like running an independent bookstore.

What are some of the things you handle in your current role?

I’ve been building programs to help sellers evolve their businesses, by connecting them with manufacturers who share their values.

We also try to educate sellers through our newsletters and annual conference. They learn how to run their business in an environmentally friendly way and think about things like packaging and how to be a good employer.

What’s a leadership lesson that you’ve learned?

Plants have to be in the right windowsill to thrive. I always think about that when it comes to getting people into the right jobs.

We also need to create the right conditions for people.

How has it been moving from one work culture to another?

It took me a while to start expressing opinions more. One of the bigger things that I’ve learned is to find the right balance between planning and leaving enough space for accidents and discoveries. Learning how to be both kind and direct is something that I think everyone struggles with.

What does your typical morning look like?

I know it’s appalling, but I get up at 4 A.M. I meditate. I sometimes do yoga. I like to sit

outside and watch the sun rise. I putter around. I have to have a cup of coffee before I talk to anyone.

When my husband and daughter get up, I’ve already had a bit of a day.

What difference does meditation make?

I’m more likely to notice I’m feeling a certain way or notice things I’m avoiding. When I miss out on busy days, I really feel a difference.

What’s your life like outside of work?

My husband, John, is a therapist, and my daughter, Georgia, is 5½, going on 45. We try not to be incredibly scheduled on weekends. We spend a lot of time outside and with friends. My husband does the cooking during the week, and I cook on the weekends.

Any parting words?

We can put a lot of pressure on ourselves to make perfect decisions, but there are very few experiences that are wasted: When your intuition tells you something is compelling, trust it.

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I know employees in their 20s with strong convictions about right and wrong who are highly offended by swearing in the workplace.

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THE GUIDE work & money

So it makes sense that you went back to school to become a therapist.

Also I had had a therapist who had really influenced my life.

“Plants have to be in the right windowsill to thrive.

I always think about that when it comes to getting people into the right jobs.”

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MONEY WISE

Your brain on holiday shopping Plowing through cash like nobody’s business in a fa-la-la-la frenzy? Presenting five expert strategies for staying smart—and on budget—when the list hits the fan.

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THE GUIDE work & money

Take care of yourself like a toddler

1 Buy multiples You know the story: Instead of buying five terrific scarves for five terrific friends from one terrific store, you sprint all over town in search of a special item for each person. This sort of “overindividuation” was looked at in a 2014 study published in Journal of Consumer Research. Focusing on variety, rather than how much the recipient might enjoy the gift, translates into spending more money and expending more time. Research by study coauthor Robyn A. LeBoeuf, a professor of marketing at Washington University, in St. Louis, shows that while people feel that giving different presents is the thoughtful thing to do, recipients are often just as happy (or happier) with less tailored items.

You wouldn’t expect a little one to do well at the mall without sleep or water. Why should you?

Shopping tired is a trigger for mindless purchasing.

Exhaustion makes you “react strongly to emotional stressors,” says Henry Emmons, an integrative psychiatrist and the author of Staying Sharp. As in, when “White Christmas” plays

on the stereo sound system, all bets are off.

Hydration also makes a difference, even when you aren’t conscious of the fact that you’re thirsty. “We don’t necessarily think that we need water,” says Kit Yarrow, Ph.D., the author of Decoding the New Consumer Mind. “We just understand that we need something. You’re looking at a product and you sense want.” The next thing you know, you’re buying something that you don’t need.

4 Split your shopping list

2 Don’t get pinned down Temporarily swear off Pinterest when you’re shopping for holiday gifts. Based on data from the e-commerce technology company RichRelevance, shoppers who land on a retail site from Pinterest spend an average of $199 per session. Even Facebook can be a problem. When people are focused on close friends (say, when they’re scrolling through a pal’s vacation pics), they tend to spend more, says a 2013 study published in Journal of Consumer Research.

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Column A is anything that you can find online; column B, items that require (really require) a trip to the store. Front-load column A. Dragging yourself around too much “can sap your stamina and leave you zoned out,” says Yarrow.

That’s when you overspend. Since kids’ gifts tend to be specific, try to order all of them in time and online, where it’s easy to comparisonshop for deals. Free Shipping Day is December 16: Many retailers participate and guarantee delivery

by December 24 (also the first night of Hanukkah this year). Save the B list for gifts that call for in-store expertise (say, choosing a tech item) or your senses—a perfume purchase.

5 Dress the part of a smart shopper Swap “mall Crocs” for a pair with flair, and that ratty sweatshirt for a neat top. Research shows that clothes affect behavior.

Says David A. Ellis, Ph.D., who coauthored a study on this topic (which has a name, enclothed cognition): “The physical experience [of wearing certain clothes] can trigger associations.” That means wearing a pulled-together outfit can make you a savvier shopper. Bonus: It might even influence salespeople to think twice before pressing for the upsell—something to keep in mind whenever you shop, but especially for big-ticket items (like something to park in the driveway rather than tuck under the tree).

Written by

Yelena Moroz Alpert Illustrations by

Studio Muti

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Sayeh Pezeshki is a Los Angeles–based serial entrepreneur and blogger dedicated to overseeing creative enterprises she has created over the past ten years. As the CEO + Creative Director of L.A.’s premier boutique web design agency Gilt Design Group—GiltDesignGroup.com, she helps clients bring their brands to life—and create digital beauty. Sayeh′s businesses and blog have earned her several partnerships with major brands and garnered her attention from ABC News, CBS News, People Style Watch, House Beautiful, Marie Claire, Lucky Magazine, Better Homes and Gardens, as well as her own TV show pilot. Style, beauty, and modern design are the focus of her web design agency as much as they are on her blog, Sayeh.me.

When she’s not running her businesses she can often be found with the latest paranormal romance novel, redecorating her house, trying the latest must-have baked good, hiking or volunteering for animal rescues in L.A. TWITTER: @OfficialSayeh INSTAGRAM: @GiltDesignGroup PINTEREST: @OfficeStylist FACEBOOK: @OfficialSayeh YOUTUBE: TheOfficeStylist

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M A ST E R I N G T H E J O U R N E Y

Just say yes Discovering the common ground between improv and Alzheimer’s gave actors Karen Stobbe and Mondy Carter (pictured above) a way to lighten things up for their family—and a larger purpose in helping others.

Written by Nicole Sforza Photograph by Dylan Trivette

DECEMBER 2016

I T ’S M AY 2002. In a hotel ballroom in Indianapolis, Karen Stobbe strides onto the stage in front of 800 people—doctors, social workers, and administrators—who have gathered to hear her talk about communicating with people who have Alzheimer’s.

But instead of heading to the podium, Karen makes a beeline for the edge of the stage. And with the energy and physicality of a seasoned actor, she jumps into the audience. The crowd gasps.

Pretty quickly Karen has audience members on their feet for a “mirroring” exercise with the strangers next to them. This is straight out of improv class—standing face-to-face, making eye contact, and following the other person’s moves. Karen reminds the audience to wave to their partners if they run into them at other conference events.

“You may forget each other’s names, but you made

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N EC E SS I T Y A N D INVENTION Karen’s path to this passion began in 2000, when she was trying to learn the best way to communicate with her father, who was dying of Alzheimer’s. (Yes, the disease hit both of Karen’s parents.) After attending a disappointing workshop (a soulless PowerPoint presentation that left her feeling even more helpless), Karen did some research on her own and talked to a nurse friend. “I noticed right away that the guidelines for caring for people with Alzheimer’s had a lot in common with the tenets of improv,” she says.

Mondy agreed. The gist of both: Be positive. Don’t argue. Say yes rather than no. And go with the flow.

Karen and Mondy began a coaching consultancy based on applying the rules of improv to being “in the moment” with people who have Alzheimer’s, and now they give talks all over the world—at nursing homes, in intimate family settings, and before vast rooms of medical professionals. The couple gave a TEDMED talk on the subject in Palm

Springs, California, in 2015, and their site, in-themoment.net, offers a free training guide for families. Karen and Mondy also regularly perform Sometimes Ya Gotta Laugh, a twoperson show that they wrote about caregiving and Alzheimer’s.

F I N D I N G T H E F LO W Virginia, Karen’s mom, was diagnosed soon after her husband of 56 years passed away, in 2000. For a while, Virginia lived with Karen’s sister in St. Louis, and then, in 2006, she came to live with Karen, Mondy, and Grace. That transition was tough for Virginia. “She felt discarded and hurt,” says Karen, who also struggled.

Her mom, whose demeanor was changing as her symptoms increased, could be short with her, and the two would end up arguing.

Mondy had an easier time. “He’s a ‘glass half-full’ type,” says Karen, “while I’m a ‘glass half-empty, cracked, and spilling all over the floor’ type.”

Mondy found it easy to improvise with Virginia—follow her lead and act as part of her world. Says Mondy, “Virginia laughs almost every time she sees me.” This is partly because she sometimes mistakes Mondy for her late husband. “I show up in various scenes in her life—I’m Forrest Gump–ing all over the place!” he says. If Mondy and Virginia are sitting on the porch and she thinks that they’re at her childhood home in West Virginia, “I’m right there with her in the cabin, looking out at the cornfields,” he says.

Karen recalls the time that Virginia said she lived in the same town as

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gymnast Mary Lou Retton, and her granddaughter, Grace, corrected her: “I shot Grace a ‘let it go’ look, then she asked Virginia what Mary Lou was like.” Virginia described walking to the bus with Mary Lou and being in the same class. Says Karen, “If you can say, ‘Yes, and tell me more,’ you turn it into a conversation rather than an argument, and it makes everyone’s life easier.”

In improv—and in communicating with people who have Alzheimer’s— “arguing gets you nowhere,” says Karen. “People think that anger is one of the stages of this disease, but maybe it’s just frustration due to us not seeing things from [the other person’s] perspective.” Karen applies this to interactions with her mom all the time, and this has allowed her to learn a lot about Virginia’s childhood (a time that she talks a lot about).

“Improv allows me to step into [my mom’s] world,” says Karen. “Why should I expect her to join mine?”

W H E R E T H E H E A RT I S As anyone who loves someone with Alzheimer’s knows, “care isn’t about one person—it’s about everyone involved with that person,” says Karen. Laughter, acceptance, letting go—they have helped Karen’s whole family.

“Virginia doesn’t understand anymore that I’m her daughter,” says Karen. “Sometimes I’m her sister, sometimes ‘the neighbor girl.’ But now when she sees me, she throws open her arms and says with a huge smile, ‘Hey! There’s that girl! I love you!’

And that’s all I ever really wanted.”

SEE A VIDEO

of Karen and Mondy in action at realsimple.com/karenandmondy.

THE GUIDE work & money

a connection,” she says, “and that’s all you’re trying to do with people who have Alzheimer’s.”

After rousing applause, the crowd shuffles out. A man comes up to Karen, hugs her, and hands her a note thanking her for the work that she’s doing. That note still hangs above Karen’s computer in the Black Mountain, North Carolina, home that she shares with her husband, actor Mondy Carter; their teenage daughter, Grace; and, until recently, Karen’s mother, Virginia, who has Alzheimer’s.

(After a decade in Karen’s house, Virginia recently moved to a nearby group home.)

“Improv allows me to step into [my mom’s] world,” says Karen.

“Why should I expect her to join mine?”

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MASTER THE UNEXPECTED

Homa’s father helped inspire her new company and its name.

MASTER OF REINVENTION A sudden loss made change a necessity for Homa Dashtaki. But she didn’t get upset; she got creative. A lifelong saver, she’d bought herself time to reinvent her life and create a new business.

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orn in Iran on the eve of revolution, Homa has a natural tolerance for chaos and a strong inclination to plan and save. After immigrating to the U.S. at the age of seven, she studied hard and then enthusiastically SXUVXHG D FDUHHU LQ LQWHUQDWLRQDO ȴ QDQFH ODZ (DUO\ LQ KHU FDUHHU VKH PHW ZLWK D ȴ QDQ cial advisor to invest part of her income in a retirement account, and she also kept saving for a rainy day.

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B R E AT H E

When life has you running around, why not take five minutes before bed to help out the parts of your body that work hardest—your feet? Sit comfortably and take one foot in your hand.

Circle your ankle slowly, as if you’re turning a crank. This moves the stagnant fluids in your ankle, foot, and calf and can bring instant relief. Notice your breath. Does it change as you gently manipulate your foot? Move slowly and deliberately. Now press both thumbs into your heel and draw little circles. Run your thumbs along the arch of your foot, then squeeze and rotate each toe (“this little piggy”–style). Check in with your breath again. Paying attention to yourself in this calm, small, nurturing way can help lengthen your inhale and exhale.

Next, make long, firm strokes from ankle to toes. Then massage circles just under the inner anklebone. Squeeze your thumb and index finger up along your Achilles tendon ( just above the heel). Then switch feet and repeat. Once you’re done, place a pillow under your feet and lie back. Rest your hands on your belly. Take four long, slow breaths, imagining that each breath can massage your toes from the inside. Enjoy this renewed, relaxed sensation.

Your nervous system will thank you as you drift off to sleep.

A R T I S T R E P I N C .C O M

BY C Y N D I L E E , C Y N D I L E E .C O M

Photograph by

Matt Armendariz Photography

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COZY UP A BENCH That workaday drop zone can turn positively skilodgey if you add some layers: Choose a weighty textile or two (blanket, throw) and top that off with a plush sheepskin— folding each layer the width of the bench, then stacking and wrapping with a band of fabric or wide ribbon knotted in back. (We used four-inchwide faux-suede strips.)

O P P O S I T E : Gild a bookshelf with a few delicate wreaths. (The golden ones are from shopterrain.com; you can make the olivebranch one yourself.) To hang, just tuck the ribbon into a stack of books.

WARMWELCOME IT TURNS OUT THAT THE SIMPLEST TOUCHES— A SPRIG OF THIS, A SWATH OF THAT—ARE ALL YOU NEED TO FILL YOUR HOME WITH HOLIDAY SPIRIT.

*FOR BUYING INFO THROUGHOUT, SEE CREDITS (PAGE 218).

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Story and Styling by Megan Pflug and Rachael Weiner Photographs by Matthew Williams

MODERNIZE YOUR MANTEL Instead of the usual (shedding!) evergreens and pinecones, let longlasting amaryllises take the lead this year. Surround them with neutral objects of different heights, materials, and shapes (earthybeautiful), and finish off with a single string of lights for that holiday glow.

WEAVE IN SOME GREENERY O P P O S I T E : For a party-ready bar cart (or a festive entryway mirror),

tuck in olive branches to form an artful border. To mold your own herb-embellished ice bucket, put a small container inside a larger one and fill the space between the two with water and rosemary sprigs, then freeze. Pop the ice out of the large container (run it under warm water to loosen); place on a shallow pie plate to collect the water as the ice melts. (Try this DIY for vases and votive holders, too.)

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FESTOON A CORNER Got an empty nook in the kitchen, entryway, hallway?

Bring in a grouping of small trees (ahh, the scent) and adorn some with lights.

If you want, hang a homey garland— or another strand of lights or a string of holiday cards— for added ornament.

RELAX YOUR DOOR DECOR O P P O S I T E : Instead of the annual store-bought wreath, try a “deconstructed” DIY version: String rope through three pieces of precut copper pipe (sold at hardware stores) to form a triangle. Attach foraged greens with wire, then insert a few blooms. Choose flowers that dry nicely. (We used cockscomb, snowberries, and amaranthus.)

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OUR GIFT TO YOU!

A SEASON-LONG, A-TO-Z GUIDE TO FUN, FOOD, AND FAMILY TRADITIONS. AND ALL THE GOOD STUFF THAT DOESN’T START WITH THE LETTER F.

1. Daddy Christmas & Hanukkah Mama,

by Selina Alko 2. Eight Candles and a Tree,

by Simone Bloom Nathan

A DV E N T C A L E N DA R Let the countdown to Christmas begin with one of these DIY ideas from Penelope Dullaghan, an Indianapolis-based illustrator and crafter.

B RO W N - PA P E R PAC K AG E S

(Tied up with string: optional.)

Stamp or handwrite numbers on brown-paper lunch bags (or mini-size versions, available in bulk at amazon.com). Fill with sweet notes, chocolates, or tiny trinkets—ornaments, card games, a bouncy ball. On a blank wall, tack up two lines of heavy twine and use small clothespins to attach each bag.

TREE BR ANCH

Find a pretty branch outside, let it dry, and spray-paint it white for a snowy feel. Then place in a tall vase weighed down with colorful glass stones or sand. Use ribbon to tie on notes with numbers on one side and Advent activities on the other.

A S FO R T H E AC T I V I T I E S…

Take inspiration from Jordan Ferney, blogger at Oh Happy Day: “I make a list of all my favorite things to do, eat, and experience during the holidays and print them on slips of paper that I put in our family Advent calendar. I started doing this when I was a newlywed, but it’s become even more of a tradition since I had children and life is more rushed. Every day, we do one thing to slow down and celebrate. Sometimes it’s big, like a trek downtown to visit Santa.

Other times we will do something simple, like hang mistletoe and kiss under it.”

B

Celebrating both Hanukkah and Christmas in your home?

The staff of InterfaithFamily, an organization based in Massachusetts supporting Jewish-Christian couples, recommends these kid favorites.

C H O W TO ROA ST

Chestnuts

Alice Medrich, a baking expert and the author of Chewy Gooey Crispy Crunchy Melt-in-YourMouth Cookies, buys and roasts chestnuts every holiday season.

“They’re great for nibbling with drinks before a family dinner,” she says. “They have a sweetness and a starchy texture that’s similar

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3. Nonna’s Hanukkah Surprise,

by Karen Fisman 4. Light the Lights! A Story about Celebrating Hanukkah & Christmas,

by Margaret Moorman 5. The Latke Who Couldn’t Stop Screaming: A Christmas Story,

by Lemony Snicket

to a yam.” Here’s her method: Before roasting, cut an X on the bottom of each nut to help it cook more evenly and thoroughly. Spread them on a rimmed baking sheet and bake at 350°F for 40 to 45 minutes. You’ll know they’re done when the tip of a knife inserts easily into the flesh. Then wrap them in a thick towel for 5 to 10 minutes. This steams the chestnuts slightly and makes removing the stubborn shells and skins before serving a million times easier.

REALSIMPLE.COM

D D EC O R AT E THE TREE A L I T T L E D I F F E R E N T LY

Add some unexpected magic with one of these ideas.

“Growing up, we’d tuck dolls and small toys into our family tree, set deep into the branches, so it almost looked like they were playing peekaboo,” says New York City– based craft stylist Blake Ramsey Murray. She also cuts paper stars out of origami paper, snips a hole in each center, then slips them over string lights.

(Or use foil cupcake liners instead.)

“That really makes your tree glow,” she says. For a cool icicle effect, hang metallic straws (Murray likes gold and silver ones from Kikkerland) on ornament hooks all over the tree.

E TRY THESE IDEAS TO MAKE THE HANDOFF EVEN MORE FUN. TREASURE HUNT

Take a breather after all the Santa excitement by hiding small wrapped gifts around the house for children to seek (while you sip coffee).

someone to stop the song midverse. The person who is holding the gift has to finish the line. If she can, she gets the gift and sits out the rest of the game. If not, start the song again. Repeat until all the gifts are gone.

C H R I S T M A S P I C K L E This charming tradition is a fun way to kick off gift opening for the kids.

Hang a pickle ornament ($8, crateandbarrel. com) on the tree, and the first child to spot it gets an extra present.

WO R D G U E S S Slow down the frenzy by taping a fill-in-the-blank holiday phrase on each gift and having children answer before unwrapping.

For example: Not a creature was stirring, not even a .

G

Gingerbreadhouse makeover There isn’t nearly enough candy included in gingerbread-house kits to deck the walls (and the roof) to the nines. Here are some supplementary sweets to help get the job done right.

FROSTED MINI-WHEATS

create a snow-

covered thatched roof.

NECCO CANDIES

build colorful shingled

roofs or siding.

GOLDEN GRAHAMS pave a brick pathway.

MINI STICK PRETZELS turn a house into a

log cabin.

FINISH THE CAROL

This works for a family or friend gift exchange. Sit in a circle and pass each gift around to the tune of a holiday song. Designate

GIVING A BIKE?

Learn how to wrap—or otherwise disguise— oddly shaped presents at realsimple.com/ wrapsolutions.

ICE CREAM CONES (turned upside down and frosted) make Christmas trees.

SUGAR CUBES are excellent building blocks for an addition, like a balcony or a patio.

HERSHEY’S KISSES (still wrapped), glued along the peak of the roof, make turrets.

The tags look like flying flags.

CHRISTMAS COOKIES ( jam thumbprints, snowflakes, etc.) glued to the outside walls of your house give it an ornate Victorian look.

FA L A L A L A’ I N G Don’t be shy: Science says caroling inspires goodwill. A 2016 study published in the journal Psychology of Music found that choral singing fulfills a deep desire to bond with a group and promotes feelings of well-being.

Another study, published in Frontiers in Psychology in 2013, even found that group singers’ hearts begin to beat in unison.

MINI CANDY CANES placed parallel with a graham-cracker quarter in between make a sleigh.

HAM, SPIRAL CUT “The store-bought versions are often better than what I can make, a lot less work, and everyone loves them,” says Camille Styles, the founder of camillestyles. com and the author of Camille Styles Entertaining.

She offers two festive ways to serve it.

TROPICAL SLIDERS

Combine diced pineapple with chopped red onion, jalapeño, cilantro, lime juice, and salt to make a Pineapple Cilantro Relish to serve with ham slices on Hawaiian rolls.

SWEET POTATO BISCUITS

Combine 2½ cups biscuit mix with ½ cup softened butter; 1 cup mashed, cooked sweet potato; and ½ cup milk.

Roll out dough, cut into circles, and bake at 450°F until golden brown.

Serve with ham and cranberry mustard (available at specialty stores).

REST the dough at room temperature for 1 hour in its packaging.

J I T ’ S A W O N D E R F U L L I F E The beloved movie marks its 70th anniversary this year—cue the TV marathons!—and most of us can quote parts by heart (“Every time a bell rings…”). Real Simple talked to Karolyn Grimes, who played Zuzu Bailey when she was six years old, about her favorite scene. Says Grimes: “When George is on the bridge.

He says, ‘Clarence, Clarence...I want to live again.’ And then he rubs his eyes and says, ‘Please, God, let me live again.’ The minute he says the word God, it starts to snow, and you know he’s back. For me, he’s discovered everything important in life—faith and family and friends.” Grimes and her film family, the two other surviving Bailey children, will be appearing this year at the annual It’s a Wonderful Life Festival in Seneca Falls, New York, a town that is said to have been the model for the film’s Bedford Falls (December 9 to 11, therealbedfordfalls.com). The granddaughter of director Frank Capra and the daughter of actress Donna Reed will also attend. “We have tons of meet-and-greets, we show the film, we have receptions, a 5K run in the snow, and a parade,” says Grimes. “It’s a great time.” (Check out Grimes’s new children’s book, Zuzu’s Petals: A Dream of It’s a Wonderful Life, available at zuzu.net.)

K

Also known as sufganiyot, these deep-fried Hanukkah sweets symbolize the miracle of the burning oil lamps in ancient Jerusalem.

(For more history, turn to The Simple List, page 2.)

Think you can’t pull them off at home? The RS food editors came up with a shortcut recipe.

ACTIVE TIME 30 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 2 HOURS, 15 MINUTES SERVES 6

1 lb. fresh pizza dough 2 to 3 Tbsp. all-purpose flour, plus more for work surface

HEAT the oil, poured to a depth of 2 inches in a large, heavy pot, to 350°F. Working in batches, fry the dough circles, turning frequently, until golden brown, about 1½ minutes. Transfer to a paper towel–lined pan.

TRANSFER the jam to a plastic bag and snip the corner. When the doughnuts are cool enough to handle, use a wooden skewer or toothpick to form a hole in the center of each, wiggling the skewer to create space for jelly. Pipe just enough jelly into each doughnut so that it appears in the opening.

Dust the doughnuts with powdered sugar.

Serve immediately.

Canola oil, for frying ½ cup raspberry or strawberry jelly ¼ cup powdered sugar

ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO BALSAMS T YPE OF TREE

LO O K

SCENT

LO N G E V I T Y

NEEDLES

This is the classic—stately and full.

The most fragrant variety, often has citrusy undertones.

4 to 6 weeks

Sturdy, stiff branches make these the easiest to decorate.

S P RU C E

Similar to firs, but with a chunkier silhouette.

Some types have a eucalyptuslike scent that can skew acidic.

3 to 4 weeks

Prickly, coarse needles are strong but can be sharp.

PINE

More feathery needles. An oldfashioned feel.

Subtle, barelythere aroma.

2 to 3 weeks

Lightweight, with weak limbs. Dainty ornaments only.

FIR

KNOW YOUR TREES

Kathy Kogut, the executive director of the Connecticut Christmas Tree Growers Association (and a well-named source for this letter, we should note), helps you pick a winner. “The biggest mistake is buying a tree that doesn’t actually fit your space,” she says. “Otherwise, it’s just personal preference.”

ROLL the dough into a ¼-inch-thick rectangle on a lightly floured surface. Cut out circles using a 1½-inch cutter.

Let rest 30 minutes.

OPT FOR A PINE IF YOU HAVE ALLERGIES; WHITE PINES MAY BE LESS LIKELY TO TRIGGER SNEEZING AND WHEEZING.

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N BEFORE YOU RECYCLE, TRY ONE OF THESE REPURPOSING IDEAS.

Lights, out o tdoor o Clark Griswold wannabes, take note: “Hanging outdoor Christmas lights is all about prep work,” says David Gray, a lighting-design adviser at Lamps Plus who created his own outdoor display for many years. You can spend an entire day planning before hanging a single light.

STEP 1 Print out an image of your house from Google Street View, then sketch where you want lights directly on the photo.

STEP 2 Measure out how many feet of lights you’ll need, budgeting a little extra.

There’s no great scientific way to do this; Gray uses a tape measure, noting lengths on the photo as he goes. If you’re short on power sources, use weatherproof ground stake outlet strips (like the ones you use next to your computer, only for outdoor use). These are especially good for lighting trees at the outskirts of a yard.

Consider remotes that will let you turn off the lights from inside your house.

Most plug into a wall outlet and your first extension cord.

STEP 3

For lights along the roof line, permanently install galvanized or plastic hooks, one for every 8 to 10 feet of lights; this will make the job easier next year. To secure lights between hooks along gutters, Gray uses badge clips (available at officesupply stores).

MINTY FOOT SCRUB Marathon shopping—in an actual mall?

Pamper your feet with this minty scrub from Angela Jia Kim, the founder of the organic Savor Beauty + Spa, in New York City.

COMBINE ½ cup raw coconut oil (or any oil you have, says Kim) with ¾ cup sugar. Stir in 1 to 2 drops peppermint essential oil. Massage into your feet, wrap in a hot, damp towel for 5 to 10 minutes, then rinse.

G I F T TAG Cut a strip from the picture side of a card and fold it in half. Write the recipient’s name on the inside.

J I G SAW P U Z Z L E Glue the front and back parts of the card together. (The extra weight will make the puzzle more durable.) When the glue is dry, draw puzzle-piece shapes on the back of the card; cut out and place in a plastic bag for an easy road-trip game.

P O S T C A R D For the extras of your own family card: Cut off the front picture flap. Add a quick note, the address, and a stamp on the other side.

O

Old-fashioned toys

STEP 4

You say you want to avoid screens, batteries, and soul-sucking sounds, but where to shop for simple gifts that your kids will still love? These are our editors’ favorite sites for nostalgic—but still totally fun—treasures. | sproutsanfrancisco.com | designlifekids.com | | ameliapresents.com

STEP 5 For well-pruned shrubs, toss on net lights. On scraggly bushes, wrap string lights. (Nets will look sloppy there.)

STEP 6 For trees, don’t try to coil lights around all the branches—that’s a pro job.

Instead, drape lights from each branch like a garland.

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P PUNCH FOR A C RO W D A Champagne concoction that works for New Year’s, too.

ACTIVE TIME 5 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 1 HOUR, 5 MINUTES

1½ cups chilled cranberry juice cocktail ¼ cup amaretto liqueur ¼ cup Cointreau 2 (750-mL) bottles Champagne or Prosecco, chilled Fresh cranberries, for serving STIR together the juice, amaretto, and Cointreau.

Chill for at least 1 hour.

COMBINE the juice mixture and Champagne just before serving. Garnish with fresh cranberries.

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QUICKIE BOW TYING Skip the complicated looping and curling.

Craft stylist Blake Ramsey Murray says a knot looks just as lovely.

“With the tails trimmed at 45-degree angles, it can look really chic—and requires a lot less material.

You don’t need any special skills to tie it.

A basic knot with tails trimmed relatively short looks crisp and deliberate,” she says. “If they’re hanging over the edges of the package, they look sloppy.”

SHOW G R AT I T U D E E V E N FO R A G I F T YO U D O N ’ T L I K E

R

RU D O L P H T H E R E D - N O S E D… CARIBOU?

It’s true: The European/Asian reindeer and the American caribou, once considered different species, are now known to be the same, says reindeer biologist Nicholas Tyler of the Arctic University of Norway. And, no, the “rein” part has nothing to do with Santa’s sleigh driving. The word reindeer comes from the Old Norse hreinin, which means “horned animal.”

“Whether or not you are ever going to wear the itchy cardigan your great-aunt knitted for you, be thankful for it— grateful people are happy people,” says Real Simple’s etiquette expert, Catherine Newman.

As for expressing thanks, stick to what’s true. Not “I love it!” if you don’t, but “I can’t imagine how long you spent knitting this for me! I’m so lucky.

Thank you.” It’s harder, maybe, with the microwave potatobaking gadget but still possible, says Newman: “You’re always thinking of ways to make my life easier. I love that so much.”

Same stockings, same cookies, same music playing as you open gifts.

What’s the psychological reason behind rituals? “Back when families needed community for protection, traditions showed allegiance,” says Joffrey Suprina, Ph.D., the dean of the College of Counseling, Psychology and Social Sciences at Argosy University, in Sarasota, Florida. Another theory: Markers of time make the stress of the season more bearable. “The simple observance that we’ve made it once more around the calendar offers comfort,” says Marie Hartwell-Walker, a psychologist in Amherst, Massachusetts.

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U N C L E S A N D AU N T S don’t tell you to brush your teeth or sit up straight.

Their love has few conditions. You just get the good parts. Like my Aunt Madeline making ravioli just because I love them. And my Uncle Mario, who took us up in his single-engine Cessna plane, with no hands on the wheel, to our squealing delight. (My mom and the FAA still know nothing.)

Then there’s my Uncle Pat. When I was six years old, he made me the following offer: He would take me with my cousins to an amusement park in Queens if I would sleep over at their house on Long Island afterward. He had to work the next day, and it would be too late for him to drive me home. I promised with all my heart that I was a big girl, and I could do it. So I went to the fair, stuffed my face with cotton candy, rode the Ferris wheel, and got this tiny toy tin washing machine with a crank and a spin cycle. I came crashing down as we pulled into the driveway at 11 P.M. and, breaking my promise, cried to go home. Without a fuss, without scolding me as my parents would, Pat laughed and drove me home.

Years later, when Uncle Pat and my Aunt Jean were living in Southern California and I was there for work, I had lunch with them, then drove two hours away to my hotel— leaving my cell phone behind. I called Uncle Pat with my FedEx number and asked him to send it, that I could wait a few days. The next morning, I woke up to a flashing light on the hotel-room phone: You have something at the front desk. The clerk handed me my phone and said that an older gentleman had dropped it off at 5 A.M. He didn’t even stay for breakfast.

Two years ago, I called their house to say “Merry Christmas,” and my cousin Patti told me that her father was too sick to know what day it was. He passed the next day. Around Christmas every year, I miss him terribly but am incredibly thankful for his limitless love and support. Uncle Pat once gave me a cool pair of Mad Men–era binoculars, and I often sit on the dock with them in Marina del Rey, looking out at the boats, thinking of him, hoping to see myself without all the conditions, the way he saw and loved me.

—MARGARET SEKELSKY MARGARET SEKELSKY IS A WRITER IN MARINA DEL REY, CALIFORNIA, AND AN EXPERT ON UNCLES AND AUNTS—SHE HAS 21 OF THEM.

V Victorians

Speaking of traditions (previous page), we have the Victorians to thank for most of ours. “Though the effects of the Puritan suppression of Christmas had lingered for nearly two centuries, the marriage of German Prince Albert to Queen Victoria in 1840 helped spread the German tradition of Christmas trees in England,” says Bruce Forbes, Ph.D., the author of Christmas: A Candid History. An illustration of the royal couple and their children (plus toys) around a decorated tree in The Illustrated London News in 1848 turned the Christmas tide, making the holiday a family-centric one that was less about religion and more about spreading good cheer—and presents.

W A festive recipe—with a white wine twist—to commit to memory now.

You’ll need it all winter.

ACTIVE TIME 10 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 1 HOUR, 10 MINUTES SERVES 10

½ cup honey 2 cinnamon sticks

X XMAS For people who find this common abbreviation crass, here’s a salve: The X comes from the Greek letter chi, the first letter of the Greek word (Christ).

So using Xmas in place of Christmas is kind of saying the same thing.

And that abbreviation dates all the way back to the mid-16th century, well before stores started using it to save room on signs. (XMAS SALE! 75% OFF!)

BRING the honey, cinnamon sticks, orange peel, star anise, peppercorns, and ½ cup water to a simmer over medium in a large pot, stirring to dissolve the honey. Turn off heat, add the wine, cover, and let steep 30 to 60 minutes.

Zzzz

BEFORE serving, gently reheat over medium-low just until the mulled wine begins to release steam; do not let simmer.

Serve in handled glasses or mugs.

1 5-in. piece orange peel

MERRYMAKING IS EXHAUSTING.

2 star anise 4 black peppercorns 2 (750-mL) bottles dry white wine, such as Chardonnay

Y U L E LO G The glowing fireside scene we think of when we hear “yule log” has its roots in German and Scandinavian paganism. Yule is the celebration of the winter solstice, and burning a log brought good luck—not to mention light in the middle of a dark, depressing winter.

The Vikings and the AngloSaxons took the tradition to England, where it became linked with the cozy feelings of Christmas, and the English brought it to America. Fast-forward to Christmas Eve 1966, New York City: TV station WPIX broadcasts a film loop of a yule log burning in a fireplace as a gift to city dwellers who live in apartments without hearths. Today you can stream a yule log (rent a flickering scene for $2 at amazon.com) and experience the warmth of the season through…your iPad.

So Real Simple exclaims, as you turn out the light, Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good night!

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The author, Elisabeth Egan, and her family: Louisa, Simon, Frankie, and Ethan.

DROVE 1,958 MILES ALL TOLD

RODE A RIVERBOAT TO FORT SUMTER

BIKED ON THE BEACH (IT WAS AWESOME) TROTTED BY ALLIGATORS AND TURTLES

I’LL BE ANY WHERE BUT HOME FOR CHRISTMA S

Written by Elisabeth Egan Photographs by Rob Howard

What happens when you say “See ya!” to holiday stress, pare back on presents, skip the cards, and surprise your kids with a road trip instead? Writer Elisabeth Egan found out.

TOURING COMPANY

hen I got married, I dreamed of having one of those families where everyone wears matching snowflake sweaters and sings carols around the piano. I hoped our future children would invite their friends over to string popcorn and cranberries. We would count our blessings over a crackling fire and rejoice more in the giving than in the receiving.

In pursuit of this vision, I aggressively established holiday traditions.

One was handmade cards—200 of them—crafted from felt, buttons, and scrapbook paper, dispatched around the globe in square brown envelopes requiring extra postage.

One year, I made the envelopes myself. Another, I melted red sealing wax on the flaps, imprinting each red puddle with a tiny candycane stamp. I would save lonesoldier socks all year to fashion into ornaments—festive balls stuffed with pillow batting and tied up with grosgrain ribbon. I invested in a candy thermometer and a double boiler and made six varieties of holiday confections, which I bundled into festive tins tied with raffia.

I left matching holiday pajamas under each of our kids’ beds with a

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Each kid in the family had an “experience gift” to look forward to on the trip: Simon’s was a ghost tour of Savannah—in a hearse! Frankie’s was a nature ride on horseback; Louisa’s, a culinary tour of Charleston.

note that said, “Congratulations! You’ve received this bonus gift because you were extra good this year.” For our annual winter-solstice party, I made 200 pigs in a blanket. I even owned a tasteful holiday sweater.

But after 13 years of producing the extravaganza for everyone else, I started to dread the holiday season. My special traditions felt like items to check off a list, especially in conjunction with shopping for dozens of presents, mobilizing gift cards for teachers and babysitters, assembling presentable clothing for holiday events, and attending sing-alongs at multiple schools and houses of worship.

I started to get sloppy. I ordered custom postage stamps with a photo of our family and didn’t notice that one of our daughters had been cropped out. (“Huh? Guess I didn’t make the cut,” she said as she glanced at the envelopes, ready

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to be mailed.) I dropped the ball on the bonus present, and our youngest burst into tears: “Was I bad?!”

This all culminated in a “Mommie Dearest” moment the night before Christmas 2014. We hosted dinner for 12. When the guests left, sometime after midnight, I pulled out the presents from closets, under beds, inside cabinets—all of them still unwrapped. With piles and shopping bags surrounding me, I discovered my wrapping supplies were down to almost nothing— scraps from a school fund-raiser, one wafer-thin roll of tape, no scissors. From the basement, I could hear my husband, Ethan, cursing as he attempted to assemble a mini trampoline.

About to lose my mind, I assessed the damage and marched into our older kids’ rooms. “Guys,” I said, as they blinked like moles in the light,

The kids get a history lesson at Fort Sumter, where the first shot of the Civil War was fired.

Elisabeth and Ethan offered the kids a deal: “We said, ‘If you guys will pose for one selfie a day, we won’t take a ton of pictures.’ ” The crew is all smiles just before saddling up.

“do you still believe in Santa?”

“No,” said the 14-year-old, Louisa.

“Maybe a little bit,” said Simon, 12, hedging his bets. Their eight-yearold sister, Frankie, had fallen asleep listening for Rudolph.

I took a deep breath, visions of future therapy sessions dancing in my head. “OK, here’s the deal,” I said.

“I’m Santa. And I need help.”

Back downstairs, I rationed slivers of tape, and my husband flattened old newspaper into gift wrap as our big kids diligently and quietly printed names and affixed labels with sweatshop resignation. In a rare conspiratorial moment, my daughter whispered to her younger brother, “Just so you know: What’s happening here is not normal.”

At 2 A.M., as my husband and I fell asleep, I whispered, “I’m not doing this again next year.”

“Good night, Scrooge,” he said.

The following December, with the help of my coconspirator (Ethan), I set out to have a different kind of Christmas. I didn’t obsess about cards or cookies. I trimmed the list for our holiday party and served less food (nobody noticed). Our younger daughter wore a hand-me-down denim vest and clunky snow boots to her school concert, and my heart still grew three sizes when her class played “The Dreidel Song.” For the first time in 14 years, we arrived at my mom’s choir concert early enough to snag five seats in the same pew. I sat holding my husband’s hand, actually listening to the hymns instead of jotting a to-do list in the margins of the program. When I closed my eyes, I was transported back to a familiar and beloved touchstone from childhood: the sound of my

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mom’s alto, belting out the chorus of “We Three Kings.”

On Christmas Eve, I couldn’t fall asleep—not because we were spelunking in the junk drawer for a Phillips-head at midnight, but because I couldn’t wait for the big reveal we’d planned for Christmas morning. We’d told the kids there would be something different about gifts this year, but we didn’t get specific. Our secret was that instead of the usual bounty, much of which gets abandoned by the tree, we were taking a surprise 10-day road trip from our New Jersey home to the Carolinas, visiting Charleston, Hilton Head, and Asheville (city, beach, and mountains), with a stop in Washington, D.C., on the way back.

Planning and booking this vacation took a total of three hours—a fraction of the time we normally spend brainstorming and shopping for gifts. And the execution cost less than you might expect, thanks to low gas prices, a tight souvenir budget, and off-season hotel rates.

ut I’m getting ahead of myself. Back to Christmas Eve. After our dinner for 12 (Ethan made pork ragu in the slow cooker, and I passed the dessert torch on to our older daughter, whose chocolate chip cookies are our family’s best hope for future wealth), the kids headed upstairs, archly requesting a decent night’s sleep. Ethan and I took our time wrapping a couple of small gifts, then curled up and watched a movie together, still making it to bed before midnight.

I woke up nervous that the kids would feel cheated by the fact that there was so little under the tree. Turned out, when we came downstairs, the cats—as if accessories to our Christmas plan— had created a distraction by shredding the wrapping paper off most of the gifts. The kids didn’t even seem to notice that their haul was significantly smaller than usual and that it consisted mostly of basics, like mittens, socks, and books.

When there were no more boxes to open, my husband handed a slip of paper to the kids. It was a rhyming clue—the first of eight leading to our big reveal. The hunt took us, as a family, through the house, from attic to basement, clue to clue, and finally brought us to the driveway. Opening the door to our minivan, the kids found a small white box buckled into the middle seat. Inside was a scrapbook revealing, in photos and words, the trip that we would embark on the next day.

Our youngest, once she realized what was happening, said with utter delight, “It’s like those commercials where they get a surprise trip to Disney World, but better!” And our two older kids were just as excited, even though they’re in the throes of adolescence, a zone naturally pillared by resentment and boredom.

Next, we gave each kid a certificate for his or her own “experience gift”: a culinary tour of Charleston for Louisa; a Savannah ghost tour via hearse (!) for Simon; and a horseback ride through a nature preserve on Hilton Head for animallover Frankie. I also surprised my husband with a reservation for zip-lining, which quickly became the most hotly anticipated event of the week.

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We packed Christmas Day, went to my mom’s house for Christmas dinner, then came home and argued about whether we should undecorate the tree and drag it to the curb before we headed out of town. My husband worried about the fire hazard of leaving a dry tree in an empty house; I worried the naked tree would be an invitation to burglars.

Laziness prevailed! e left the next morning at dawn. The drive to Charleston should have taken 12 hours. With traffic, it took us 19, which included six movies, one lengthy audiobook (All the Light We Cannot See), lunch at a Panera near Quantico, and dinner at Prime Smokehouse, in Rocky Mount, North Carolina. This was a barbecue joint we found on Yelp, and it provided our favorite meal of the entire trip. (When the waitress brought over an unsolicited refill of sweet tea, our 14-year-old said, “It’s weird how people here are so nice.”)

From there, our adventure unfolded as all family vacations do— or at least all my family vacations: equal parts “Why are my kids so annoying?” and “I truly adore these people.” Some days I felt like the mom in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (frazzled, longsuffering); others, like Carol Brady (amiable, relaxed to the point of seeming medicated).

A few highlights: strolling along the Battery in Charleston, then visiting the Calhoun Mansion, a museum in the largest private home in the city. Hearing Gullah spoken for the first time and gorging on fried chicken at Leon’s Fine Poultry & Oyster Shop, a former auto-body joint that still has its original garage doors. On Hilton Head, we went night swimming, rode bikes on the beach, and ate “oooey-gooey” sand-

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wiches at a tucked-away treasure called the Lowcountry Produce Market & Café. (For the uninitiated: This delicacy consists of grilled pimiento cheese, bacon, and garlic pepper jelly on plain old white bread.) In Savannah, we waited on an hourlong line for Leopold’s famous ice cream and were so richly rewarded that we considered waiting another hour for seconds. We visited Malaprop’s Bookstore/Cafe, in Asheville (a vast, cozy mecca for bookworms), strolled through the galleries in the River Arts District, and capped off the first day of 2016 with a candlelit tour of the Biltmore Estate, the Vanderbilts’ country cottage, which has 250 rooms and 43 bathrooms.

(You know, as country cottages do.)

In Washington, D.C., we rested our feet on our friends’ coffee table and regaled them with travel tales. Then the kids jumped on the trampoline while the adults drank wine.

Personally, I hate hearing about other people’s idyllic vacations (the only thing worse is listening to someone else’s dream), so let me assure you: We had plenty of tense moments. Our kids pinched one another and feuded in the backseat.

My husband and I got into a heated argument in the parking lot at South of the Border—the world’s most overrated megamall/pit stop. (If there’s a couple who hasn’t gotten into a heated argument in the parking lot at South of the Border, I would like to meet them!) The ghost tour backfired: Afterward, certain members of our family needed to sleep with the lights on, and other members of our family were not as sympathetic as they could have been. As for the much anticipated

Sunset on Hilton Head.

The 10-day trip included beach, city, and country, plus a cozy overnight at the home of friends.

zip-line adventure? We showed up on the wrong day, and the course was closed. But overall this was the happiest, most relaxing vacation we’ve ever taken together. It’s also the first one where our kids slept late, so my husband and I were able to squeeze in breakfast and a walk before they woke up—the Christmas miracle I’d been waiting for. ooking back on all our family Christmases, even the most frenetic, I find there is one moment that never loses its luster: when all five of us line up at the top of the stairs on Christmas morning, then parade down to the living

L

room to begin our celebration. What gets me every time is the togetherness—all of us in our pajamas, tree twinkling, coffee percolating, Bing Crosby filling the peaceful silence. No matter what happens next, whether we’re untwirling those maddening twist ties that hold toys in boxes or bickering about whether it’s rude to ask the neighbors for a cup of sugar on Christmas, this is the moment I remember on my first day back at work after the holidays, or the following October, when I’m in the grocery store and I hear the season’s inaugural rendition of “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.”

On our road trip, that moment showed up, in a somewhat different form: We had just finished

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our first day in Charleston, and the five of us were crammed into a too-small hotel room, resting before dinner. One daughter flipped through a leather binder advertising local attractions, pretending to be a concierge. The other daughter lay flopped on a cot, reading a book. Our son tossed a Nerf football at the popcorn ceiling. My husband squinted at his phone, ordering the tickets for the next day’s event.

There wasn’t anything magical about the scene—no ringing bells or crackling fire or wafting perfume of Douglas fir—but the feeling was the same: the joy of being all in one place at one time, with everything to look forward to. Q

NOT EXACTLY COOKIE CUTTER THESE MAY LOOK LIKE TRADITIONAL HOLIDAY TREATS, BUT WE’VE

TWEAKED THE RECIPES TO BE FASTER, EASIER, AND A DASH MORE SPECIAL. Recipes by Deb Wise Photographs by Romulo Yanes Food Styling by Torie Cox Prop Styling by Claire Spollen

MATCHA MEXICAN WEDDING COOKIES

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CHERRY AND PISTACHIO BAKE-ONCE BISCOTTI

CHERRY AND PISTACHIO BAKE-ONCE BISCOTTI

ACTIVE TIME 25 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 2 HOURS, 15 MINUTES MAKES 36 COOKIES

MATCHA MEXICAN WEDDING COOKIES

ACTIVE TIME 25 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 1 HOUR, 40 MINUTES MAKES 36 COOKIES

1½ cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature ½ tsp. vanilla extract 1¾ cups powdered sugar, divided

1½ cups granulated sugar 8 large egg yolks plus 4 large eggs ½ tsp. salt Tossing powdered sugar with matcha gives these cookies a festive color.

Jazz them up with orange zest or toasted coconut, too.

3 cups all-purpose flour ¼ tsp. salt 2¼ cups finely chopped roasted salted almonds 2 Tbsp. matcha (green tea powder, available in the international aisle) PREHEAT oven to 350°F.

Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper. Beat the butter, vanilla, and ¾ cup of the powdered sugar with an electric mixer on medium until

light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Gradually add the flour and salt; beat on low until just combined.

Add the nuts and beat on low until just combined, about 1 minute.

SHAPE the dough into 36 balls (about 2 tablespoons per ball) and place on the baking sheets.

BAKE until firm and lightly brown, 16 to 18 minutes.

COOL on the baking sheets 5 minutes. Whisk together the matcha and the remaining 1 cup of powdered sugar in a large bowl. Gently roll the warm cookies in the matcha mixture. Cool on wire racks completely, about 20 minutes. Roll the cookies 1 or 2 more times in the sugar mixture to coat completely.

4½ cups all-purpose flour 1 tsp. baking powder 2 cups dried tart cherries 2 cups roasted salted pistachios 1 Tbsp. water BEAT the sugar, egg yolks, 3 whole eggs, and salt with an electric stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment on medium-high until pale yellow and thick, about 5 minutes. Switch to the paddle attachment and, with the mixer on low, gradually add the flour and baking powder, beating until well combined, 2 to 3 minutes. Add the cherries and pistachios and beat until just combined. Divide the dough in half and wrap the halves with plastic wrap. Chill 1 hour.

PREHEAT oven to 325°F. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper. Shape the dough into two 12-by-5-inch logs and place on the baking sheets. Whisk together the water and the remaining egg; brush the mixture on the logs.

BAKE until golden brown, 35 to 40 minutes. Cool on the baking sheets 10 minutes. Transfer to a cutting board and cut each loaf into ½-inch slices. Cool completely, about 1 hour.

Unlike most biscotti, which are baked twice (once before slicing and once after), this version goes in the oven only once and takes a fraction of the time.

ICE QUEEN

For our easy three-ingredient royal icing recipe, go to realsimple.com/royalicing.

DECEMBER 2016

Cream cheese and mascarpone bind these ultrafast cookies, which you can make ahead and store in the refrigerator for 2 weeks.

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NO-BAKE CHOCOLATEPEPPERMINT COOKIES

ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 2 HOURS, 15 MINUTES MAKES 40 COOKIES

2 9-oz. pkgs. chocolate wafer cookies 8 oz. cream cheese, softened ¼ cup powdered sugar ¼ cup mascarpone cheese Pinch of salt Unsweetened cocoa powder, for work surface 2 cups crushed hard peppermint candies PROCESS the cookies in a food processor until finely ground, about 1 minute.

Add the cream cheese, powdered sugar, mascarpone, and salt. Process until the dough forms a ball, 20 to 30 seconds.

DUST the work surface with the cocoa. Divide the dough in half and shape each half into a 10-inch log.

Wrap with plastic wrap and chill until firm, at least 2 hours or overnight.

TRANSFER the crushed candies to a piece of parchment paper. Roll each log in the candy until covered. Cut the logs into ½-inch slices and serve.

NO-BAKE CHOCOLATEPEPPERMINT COOKIES

CHOCOLATE, RASPBERRY, AND ALMOND RUGELACH

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DO-IT-ALL SUGAR COOKIES

CHOCOLATE, RASPBERRY, AND ALMOND RUGELACH

ACTIVE TIME 1 HOUR TOTAL TIME 3 HOURS, 30 MINUTES MAKES 36 COOKIES

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened 6 oz. cream cheese, softened

Canola oil makes this dough smooth, silky, and extra easy to maneuver (no crumbly or sticky bits).

You don’t have to choose between fruit and chocolate.

We combined all the greatest hits—fruit, nuts, and chocolate— for the most satisfying filled cookies around.

out onto a floured surface. Using floured hands, divide the dough in half and shape each half into a disk. Wrap each half with plastic wrap and chill until firm, 2 hours.

¼ tsp. salt ¼ cup granulated sugar, divided 2¼ cups all-purpose flour, plus more for work surface 1 cup seedless raspberry jam ⅓ cup roasted salted almonds ⅓ cup semisweet chocolate chips 1 large egg

DO-IT-ALL SUGAR COOKIES

Preheat oven to 350°F. Line 3 baking sheets with parchment paper. Working with 1 disk at a time, on a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough ¼ inch thick.

Cut with cookie cutters; transfer to the baking sheets. Bake until firm when lightly touched, 8 to 10 minutes.

1 tsp. water the butter, cream cheese, salt, and 2 tablespoons of the sugar in a large bowl with an electric mixer on medium until smooth, about 2 minutes. Reduce speed to low and gradually add the flour.

Beat until the dough is smooth, about 2 minutes. Divide the dough into 3 portions and shape each into a disk. Wrap each disk with plastic wrap and chill 1 hour.

BEAT

bring the jam to a gentle boil in a medium saucepan. Cook over medium, stirring often, until the mixture reduces by half, 8 to 10 minutes. Cool completely, about 30 minutes.

MEANWHILE,

PREHEAT oven to 350°F. Line 3 baking sheets with parchment paper. Pulse the almonds and the remaining 2 tablespoons of sugar in a food processor until coarsely chopped, 5 or 6 times. Add the chocolate chips and process until the mixture is finely ground, about 30 seconds.

ROLL 1 disk of the dough into a 13-inch circle on a lightly floured surface. Spread ¼ cup of the jam over the dough, leaving a ½-inch border around the edge. Sprinkle ¼ cup of the almond mixture over the jam.

Using a sharp knife or pizza cutter, cut the circle into 12 wedges, like a pizza.

Starting at the wide end, roll up the triangles and transfer, seam-side down, to the baking sheets. Whisk together the egg and water in a small bowl. Lightly brush the cookies with the egg wash. Repeat with the remaining disks of dough.

BAKE, rotating the sheets halfway through, until browned and crisp, 22 to 25 minutes.

Cool on baking sheets 5 minutes. Transfer to wire racks to cool completely.

3 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for work surface 1 tsp. baking powder ½ tsp. salt 1 cup granulated sugar ¾ cup (1½ sticks) unsalted butter, softened

Preheat oven to 350°F. Line 3 baking sheets with parchment paper. Shape the dough into 40 balls (about 2 teaspoons per ball); toss in granulated sugar.

Transfer to the baking sheets and bake until lightly brown around the edges, 12 to 14 minutes.

THUMBPRINT CO OKIES

¼ cup canola oil 1 Tbsp. vanilla extract 2 tsp. lemon zest (from 1 lemon) 1 large egg 1 large egg yolk

Preheat oven to 350°F. Line 3 baking sheets with parchment paper. Shape the dough into 40 balls (about 2 teaspoons per ball); toss in granulated sugar. Transfer to the baking sheets. Gently press in the centers with your thumb. Fill the centers with ¼ teaspoon preserves or jam. Bake until lightly brown around the edges, 12 to 14 minutes.

S L I C E -A N D - B A K E C O O K I E S

WHISK together the flour, cornstarch, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl.

the sugar and butter with an electric mixer on medium until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes.

Add the oil in a slow stream and beat on medium-low until well combined, about 1 minute. Add the vanilla and lemon zest and beat until combined. Add the egg and egg yolk, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Gradually add the flour mixture; beat on low until evenly combined, about 2 minutes. (The dough will be sticky.) Turn the dough BEAT

DECEMBER 2016

Before chilling, shape each half of the dough into a 10-inch log. Wrap with plastic wrap and chill until firm, 2 hours. Preheat oven to 350°F. Line 3 baking sheets with parchment paper. If desired, roll the logs in decorative sugar. Cut the logs into ½-inch slices. Transfer to the baking sheets and bake until firm when lightly touched, 8 to 10 minutes.

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It’s easy to overwork gingerbread dough and end up with cardboardlike results. A food processor makes mixing quick, so the cookies are tender yet sturdy enough for decorating.

REALSIMPLE.COM

¾ cup (1½ sticks) unsalted butter, softened 1 cup packed dark brown sugar 4 tsp. ground ginger ½ tsp. salt ⅓ cup molasses 1 large egg 2⅔ cups all-purpose flour, plus more for work surface ⅓ cup cornstarch

D RO P C O O K I E S

3 Tbsp. cornstarch

ACTIVE TIME 20 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 2 HOURS MAKES 36 COOKIES

1½ tsp. ground cinnamon

CU T- O U T C O O K I E S

ACTIVE TIME 40 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 3 HOURS, 15 MINUTES MAKES 36 TO 40 COOKIES

FOOD PROCESSOR GINGERBREAD MEN

Royal icing, for decorating PROCESS the butter, brown sugar, ginger, cinnamon, and salt in a food processor until light and fluffy, about 1 minute, stopping to scrape the sides of the bowl as necessary. Add the molasses and egg; process until well incorporated, 10 to 15 seconds. Sprinkle the flour and cornstarch over the top and pulse until just combined, 10 to 12 times.

DIVIDE the dough in half and shape into 2 disks. Wrap each with plastic wrap and chill at least 1 hour or overnight.

PREHEAT oven to 350°F. Line 3 baking sheets with parchment paper. Working with 1 disk at a time, on a lightly floured surface, roll out the dough ¼ inch thick.

Cut out shapes with cookie cutters ; transfer the cookies to the baking sheets.

Bake, rotating the sheets halfway through, until dry to the touch, 10 to 12 minutes.

Cool on the baking sheets 5 minutes, then transfer to wire racks to cool completely. Decorate with the icing as desired.

FOOD PROCESSOR GINGERBREAD MEN

AMERICA’S O G

C

OD A

WINE ENTHUSIAST RATINGS SCORE OUT OF 100 POINTS

PTS

My American vodka beats the giant imports every day.

Try American! It’s Better.

Quick Cooking 200, 204, 206, 212 Healthy Pick 200, 206, 212, 216 Freezable 216 Make Ahead 192, 196, 200, 204, 206, 212, 216

Big Batch 192, 196, 212, 216 One Pot 206, 212, 216 Whole-Grain 216 Vegetarian 192, 196, 200, 212 Gluten-Free 200, 202, 204,

7

209, 212, 216

HOW MANY DAYS CAULIFLOWER LASTS STORED IN A PLASTIC BAG IN THE REFRIGERATOR.

→ Orange alert A relative of ginger, turmeric is a staple in curries.

But its pungent, peppery flavor adds earthiness to soups, too (page 206).

Photographs by

Romulo Yanes Food Styling by

Chelsea Zimmer

P R O P S T Y L I N G BY C L A I R E S P O L L E N

P R EC I O U S P E A R L S

Israeli couscous (a.k.a. pearl couscous) is really a tiny, toasted pasta.

Toss it raw into soups; it cooks in 10 minutes flat.

DAILY TASTE

Go to realsimple.com/dailyrecipe to have new favorite recipes delivered to your in-box every day.

DECEMBER 2016

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Quick Cooking Healthy Pick Freezable Make Ahead Big Batch Slow Cooker One Pot Whole-Grain Vegetarian Gluten-Free Family-Friendly

E A SY D I N N E R

1 White beans with tomato, spinach, and rice ACTIVE TIME 20 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 30 MINUTES

SERVES 4

1½ cups white rice 4 large eggs 2½ Tbsp. olive oil 1 small onion, sliced ¾ tsp. paprika ¾ tsp. kosher salt, plus more for serving 1 medium tomato, chopped 1 15-oz. can cannellini beans, drained and rinsed FO OD

1 9-oz. bag baby spinach leaves 2 Tbsp. water 2 Tbsp. grated Parmesan cheese COOK the rice according to the package directions.

MEANWHILE, bring a medium saucepan of water to a boil. Carefully lower in the eggs and cook 6 minutes. Transfer the eggs to a bowl full of ice water and let cool. When cool, remove the eggs and peel.

MEANWHILE, heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high. Add the onion and cook, stirring occasionally, until lightly browned, 4 to 5 minutes. Add the paprika, season with ¾ teaspoon salt, and cook, stirring until fragrant, 1 minute.

Add the tomatoes and cook, stirring often, until the mixture is slightly thickened, 4 to 5 minutes. Add the beans and cook, mashing some with a fork, until warmed through, about 1 minute. Transfer to a bowl, cover, and keep warm.

ADD the spinach and water to the skillet and cook, tossing, until almost wilted, about 1 minute. Serve the rice topped with the bean mixture, spinach, and halved eggs. Top with the cheese and season with salt.

NUTRITION

Get details on fat, calories, and sodium at realsimple.com/rsrecipes.

Recipes by Adam Hickman

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Quick Cooking Healthy Pick Freezable Make Ahead Big Batch Slow Cooker One Pot Whole-Grain Vegetarian Gluten-Free Family-Friendly

E A SY D I N N E R

2 Pan-roasted pork tenderloin with Brussels sprouts salad ACTIVE TIME 25 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 35 MINUTES

SERVES 4

4 slices bacon 1 1¼-lb. pork tenderloin ¾ tsp. garlic powder ¾ tsp. kosher salt, divided ¼ cup olive oil 3 Tbsp. apple cider vinegar ¼ tsp. black pepper 3 cups very thinly sliced Brussels sprouts (about 6 oz.)

1 small Fuji apple, thinly sliced FO OD

¼ cup loosely packed fresh flat-leaf parsley PREHEAT

oven to 425°F.

a large ovenproof skillet over medium. Add the bacon to the skillet and cook, turning occasionally, until crisp, 5 to 7 minutes. Remove the bacon from the skillet; crumble and set aside. Reserve the drippings in the skillet.

HEAT

SEASON the pork with the garlic powder and ½ teaspoon salt. Return the skillet and drippings to medium-high heat.

Add the pork and cook until brown on all sides, 6 to 8 minutes total. Transfer the skillet to oven and cook until a meat thermometer registers 145°F when inserted into the thickest portion, 8 to 10 minutes.

Remove the pork from the skillet and let rest 10 minutes before slicing.

MEANWHILE, whisk together the oil and vinegar in a medium bowl; season with the remaining ¼ teaspoon of salt and the pepper. Add the Brussels sprouts, apple, and parsley and toss to coat.

Top the salad with the bacon and serve with the pork.

D I N N E R M A D E E A SY Get this recipe delivered to your door with our partner FreshRealm! Go to freshrealm.co/rs18 and enter the code RS35DEC16R for $35 off your first order of $70 or more, now until January 1, 2017.

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Quick Cooking Healthy Pick Freezable Make Ahead Big Batch Slow Cooker One Pot Whole-Grain Vegetarian Gluten-Free Family-Friendly

E A SY D I N N E R

3 Rice noodles with meatballs, mushrooms, and bok choy ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 30 MINUTES

SERVES 4

8 oz. wide rice noodles 1¼ lb. ground chuck 1 clove garlic, finely chopped 1 Tbsp. olive oil 6 oz. shiitake mushroom caps, sliced (about 4 cups) 12 baby bok choy, halved 2 cups beef broth 3½ Tbsp. soy sauce FO OD

1 Tbsp. finely chopped fresh ginger 1 Tbsp. honey 4 scallions, thinly sliced COOK the noodles according to the package directions.

MEANWHILE, combine the beef and garlic in a medium bowl. Shape the mixture into 20 meatballs (about 1½ inches in diameter). Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high. Add the meatballs and cook, turning occasionally, until browned and cooked through, 8 to 10 minutes. Transfer the meatballs to a plate. Add the mushrooms to the skillet and cook, stirring often, until starting to brown, about 3 minutes. Add the bok choy and cook, stirring occasionally, until bright green and tender, about 3 minutes. Transfer the vegetables to the plate with the meatballs.

ADD the broth, soy sauce, ginger, and honey to the skillet; bring to a boil and cook until slightly thickened, about 3 minutes, stirring and scraping the bottom of the skillet to loosen any browned bits.

Remove ½ cup of the sauce from the skillet and toss with the cooked noodles.

Return the meatballs and vegetables to the skillet and toss to coat with the sauce. Serve the noodles topped with the meatballs, vegetables, and scallions.

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Quick Cooking Healthy Pick Freezable Make Ahead Big Batch Slow Cooker One Pot Whole-Grain Vegetarian Gluten-Free Family-Friendly

E A SY D I N N E R

4 Vegetable soup with pearl couscous and salmon ACTIVE TIME 30 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 30 MINUTES

SERVES 4

2 Tbsp. olive oil 1 medium leek, white part only, thinly sliced 1 small bulb fennel, sliced 3 garlic cloves, sliced ½ tsp. kosher salt FO OD

¼ tsp. ground turmeric 4 cups vegetable broth ½ cup pearl couscous 16 oz. skinless salmon fillets 1 cup halved cherry tomatoes 3 Tbsp. chopped fresh dill HEAT the oil in a large saucepan over medium-high.

ADD the leek and fennel and cook, stirring occasionally, until lightly browned, 4 to 5 minutes. Add the garlic, salt, and turmeric and cook, stirring, 1 minute.

Add the broth and bring to a boil.

ADD the couscous; reduce heat to medium-low and simmer, 5 minutes.

Add the salmon and tomatoes and cook, stirring gently, until the salmon is cooked through, 8 to 10 minutes.

BREAK the salmon into pieces and serve the soup topped with the dill.

D I N N E R M A D E E A SY Get this recipe delivered to your door with our partner FreshRealm! Go to freshrealm.co/rs18 and enter the code RS35DEC16R for $35 off your first order of $70 or more, now until January 1, 2017.

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YO U M A K E T H E M O M E N T. V I TA M I X M A K E S E V E RY T H I N G E L S E .

THE PERFECT HOLIDAY

©2016 Smithfield Foods

Slow smoked and cured to perfection. Delight your guests and bring joy to your table with a Smithfield Ham. It’s what the holidays are all about.

For recipes and holiday tips, visit smithfield.com

THE PERFECT

Quick Cooking Healthy Pick Freezable Make Ahead Big Batch Slow Cooker One Pot Whole-Grain Vegetarian Gluten-Free Family-Friendly

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5 Chicken and chickpea ragu with polenta

ACTIVE TIME 10 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 35 MINUTES

SERVES 4

2 Tbsp. olive oil 8 oz. ground chicken ½ cup chopped yellow onion 2 15-oz. cans fire-roasted diced tomatoes 1 cup chopped cauliflower florets 1 15.5-oz. can chickpeas, drained ¾ cup pitted green olives ½ cup roughly chopped fresh cilantro

HAM & CHEDDAR C R A N B E R R Y M E LT

2¾ cups chicken broth ⅔ cup coarse cornmeal HEAT the oil in a large skillet over medium-high. Add the chicken to the skillet and cook, stirring until crumbled and browned, 5 to 6 minutes. Add the onion and cook, stirring occasionally, until just starting to soften, 2 to 3 minutes.

Add the tomatoes, cauliflower, chickpeas, and olives and bring to a simmer. Cover and cook until the cauliflower is tender, about 15 minutes. Stir in the cilantro.

BRING the broth to a boil in a medium saucepan. Slowly add the cornmeal to the broth, stirring constantly with a whisk.

Reduce heat to medium-low and cook, stirring occasionally, until the liquid is absorbed and the mixture is thickened, about 20 minutes. Serve the chicken mixture over the polenta.

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For delicious holiday ham leftover ideas, visit smithfield.com/perfectleftovers

W H Y N OT T RY… ?

Simple swap The spoonshaped leaves shown here are Belgian endive; they come in red or pale yellow.

Can’t find that kind?

Use another member of the chicory family, such as radicchio, for similar bitterness and vibrant color.

Look for tightly wrapped heads with snow white stems free of browning.

Store in a plastic bag in the refrigerator for up to 3 days. The leaves brown quickly after they're cut, so be sure to slice just before using.

P R O P S T Y L I N G BY C L A I R E S P O L L E N

ENDIVE Endive is functional, for sure.

(Ready-made for dipping!)

But it belongs on more than a crudité tray.

Sweet or fatty toppings—um, nachos—balance that sharp bite. Still not sold? Roast it.

Add cheese and ham. Enjoy.

(Trust us.)

Written by

Heath Goldman Recipes by

Paige Grandjean Photographs by

Romulo Yanes Food Styling by

Chelsea Zimmer

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FO OD

Buying tips

1 Caramelized endive and bacon dip

3

Black bean endive “nachos”

Endive and pear focaccia

Cook 1 cup drained and rinsed canned BLACK BEANS, 2 Tbsp. water, and 1 tsp.

GROUND CUMIN in a saucepan over medium until warm, about 5 min. Separate the leaves from 5 heads BELGIAN ENDIVE and top with the bean mixture, ¼ cup SOUR CREAM, 4 oz. crumbled QUESO FRESCO, 1 chopped AVOCADO, and ¼ cup

Bake an 11-by-8-in. store-bought FOCACCIA at 350°F until warm, about 5 min. Spread with 1 cup RICOTTA CHEESE and top with 1 thinly sliced BARTLETT PEAR. Toss 1 cup each BABY ARUGULA and thinly sliced BELGIAN ENDIVE with 2 tsp. OLIVE OIL, 1 tsp. FRESH LEMON JUICE, and ¼ tsp. each KOSHER SALT and BLACK PEPPER. Serve the salad on top of the focaccia. SERVES 8

FRESH CILANTRO LEAVES. SERVES 4 TO 6

FO OD

Cook 3 slices BACON in a skillet until crisp.

Remove and crumble; reserve the drippings in the skillet. Add 2 cups sliced BELGIAN ENDIVE and cook until browned, 12 to 15 min. Add 2 cups chopped SPINACH and toss until wilted; transfer to a bowl.

Add the bacon, 8 oz. SOUR CREAM, 1 Tbsp. chopped FRESH CHIVES, and ¼ tsp. each KOSHER SALT and BLACK PEPPER. Serve with CRUDITÉS. SERVES 8

2

4

5

6

Endive slaw

Endive gratin

Citrus endive salad

Whisk together 2 Tbsp. OLIVE OIL, 1 Tbsp.

CHAMPAGNE VINEGAR, ½ small chopped SHALLOT, 1 tsp. DIJON MUSTARD, ½ tsp.

HONEY, and ¼ tsp. KOSHER SALT. Toss the dressing with 3 heads BELGIAN ENDIVE, trimmed and thinly sliced lengthwise; 1 FUJI APPLE, cut into matchsticks; and ¼ cup POMEGRANATE SEEDS. SERVES 4

Toss 5 halved heads BELGIAN ENDIVE with 1 Tbsp. OLIVE OIL. Roast in an 8-in. square baking dish at 425°F until tender, 20 to 25 min. Whisk together 1½ Tbsp. each ALL-PURPOSE FLOUR and BUTTER in a saucepan over medium for 1 min. Whisk in 1 cup warm MILK and cook until thickened, 2 min. Pour over the endive and top with 3 oz. each sliced HAM and shredded GRUYÈRE. Bake until bubbling, 12 to 15 min. SERVES 4

Separate the leaves from 8 heads BELGIAN ENDIVE and toss with 1 cup each

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ORANGE AND GRAPEFRUIT SEGMENTS,

¼ cup thinly sliced RED ONION, 2 oz. crumbled GOAT CHEESE, ¼ cup FRESH MINT LEAVES, 2 Tbsp. OLIVE OIL, 1 Tbsp.

HONEY, and 1 tsp. FLAKY SEA SALT. Season with BLACK PEPPER. SERVES 4

Roasted Vegetables with Walnuts, Basil & Balsamic Vinaigrette

Pomegranate Glazed Carrots

FOR THE BEST SIMPLE VEGGIES EVER A SPRINKLE OF CRUNCHY CALIFORNIA WALNUTS ADDS FLAVOR, TEXTURE AND HEART-HEALTHY* GOODNESS TO ALL YOUR FAVORITE RECIPES. FOR THESE RECIPES AND MORE GO TO WALNUTS.ORG.

Per one ounce serving.

So Simple. So Good.™

Heart-Check food certification does not apply to recipes unless expressly stated. See heartcheckmark.org/guidelines.

Green Beans with Olives, Sun-Dried Tomatoes & Walnuts

walnuts.org

Sweet & Spicy Brussels Sprouts

* $ !# % $# # $" % ! " ! " &" # # # $ " & $#" ! ' " !# & " #$! # # & "# ! # # ! "$ # ! " ! # ' ! $ # ! " ! !' !# " " $ & $#" ! % " # # # $ " #$! # # '$ " #$! # # $ # # "

K I TC H E N S K I L L S

Things Cooks Know Simplifying strategies, techniques, and tips— from the Real Simple test kitchen to yours

C O C K TA I L C L A SS

SHAKE VS. STIR BUT TER H AC K S Get a (better) grip with these tricks.

When you unwrap a new stick, cut the entire thing into tablespoons. That way, you’ll know exactly how many tablespoons you have left for cookies and cakes.

CUTTING To chop butter into small pieces quickly (for pie dough or dotting on vegetables), place about 4 tablespoons of cold butter in an egg cutter.

Slice, rotate a quarter turn, and slice again.

SPREADING To make cold butter spreadable for toast, sliver pieces off the stick with a Y-shape vegetable peeler.

GREASING For messfree greased pans, rub a butter wrapper around the inside. (Save your empty wrappers folded in a plastic bag in the refrigerator.)

SOFTENING To soften cold butter quickly, place it in a plastic bag and smack it with a rolling pin until it’s malleable.

MEASURING

IT’S AN EGG SLICER!

Both techniques yield ice-cold beverages, but that’s where the similarities end. Shaking introduces air, making for light, frothy, and opaque drinks. Stirring, on the other hand, creates crystal-clear cocktails.

SHAKE drinks made with juice, dairy, or eggs. Examples: margaritas, cosmopolitans, and milk punches.

STIR drinks where the liquor is the star. Examples: martinis, negronis, and old-fashioneds.

TOOLS OF THE TRADE

Go to realsimple.com/ cocktailtools to find our favorite bar spoon, mixing glass, and shaker.

Written by

Heath Goldman Illustrations by

Melinda Josie 1. Thaw completely Partially thawed phyllo dough will crack when you try to unroll it. Resist the urge to thaw it quickly on a counter; the sheets will become gummy and stick together. Instead, thaw in the refrigerator overnight.

Mastering phyllo dough These paper-thin pastry sheets produce crisp, featherweight layers in holiday hors d’oeuvres and desserts, but they can be frustrating to work with (tearing easily, drying out quickly). Follow these four simple rules for success.

HOW TO STORE

Phyllo dough is sold in rolls in the freezer section of the grocery store. It will last for up to 9 months in the freezer or 1 month in the refrigerator.

DECEMBER 2016

2. Prep everything else first As soon as you open the package, phyllo dough starts to dry out. And dry phyllo dough equals brittle, likely-to-crack phyllo dough. Measure out and prep all the other ingredients before you reach for the phyllo.

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3. Cover while you work To delay drying, work with just a couple of sheets of dough at a time. Cover the rest with a large piece of plastic wrap, then a slightly damp dish towel. (Make sure the towel touches the plastic, not the dough.)

4. Brush strategically Most recipes call for phyllo sheets to be stacked and stuck together with melted butter. Use a soft pastry brush that won’t tear the dough, and start brushing around the perimeter of each sheet before the middle. The edges are the first areas to dry and crack.

H O W TO P R E P

Belgian endive IT’S GROWN INDOORS, SO THE LEAVES DON’T NEED TO BE WASHED. JUST PEEL AWAY ANY IMPERFECT OUTER LAYERS.

ST E P 1 Cut a sliver off the base.

ST E P 2 Halve the head lengthwise.

ST E P 3 If you’re eating it raw, you’ll want to cut out the bitter core, then peel off the leaves. (You can skip this step if you’re cooking the endive, which mellows the flavor.)

ST E P 4 If you want to thinly slice the leaves, stack them all at once. Be sure to have a bowl of cold water on hand; submerging the cut leaves in cold water stops them from browning and keeps them crisp.

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B I G B ATC H

Chicken tagine with apricots and pistachios ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 40 MINUTES

SERVES 8

2 Tbsp. ground cumin 1 Tbsp. ground ginger 1 Tbsp. ground coriander FREEZE QUINOA? Yes, you can.

Cook and cool, then freeze in plastic bags for up to 2 months. The best way to thaw is to microwave on high in 1-minute bursts.

1 Tbsp. ground cinnamon ½ Tbsp. kosher salt 8 boneless, skinless chicken thighs, cut into 2-in. pieces 2 Tbsp. olive oil 2 medium onions, chopped 1 14.5-oz. can diced tomatoes, drained 2 cups cherry tomatoes

FO OD

8 halved apricots, or 3 cups halved dried apricots 3 cups low-sodium chicken broth Cooked quinoa, chopped fresh parsley, and roasted, salted pistachios, for serving

HEAT 2 tablespoons of the oil in a large, heavy-bottomed pot or Dutch oven over medium high. Add the chicken and cook until browned, about 2 minutes per side. Transfer to a plate.

ADD the onions to the pot along with 2 tablespoons of water. Cook, stirring often, until the onions are soft, about 5 minutes. Return the chicken to the pot along with the canned tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, apricots, and broth; bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat to low, and simmer until the chicken is cooked through, 20 to 25 minutes. Serve over the quinoa, topped with the parsley and pistachios.

HOW TO FREEZE AND REHEAT

Recipe by Heath Goldman

Cool the stew completely. Pour it into gallon-size freezer bags (separate from the quinoa), filling each halfway. Stack the bags in the freezer for up to 3 months. Thaw in the refrigerator overnight or in a bowl of cold water for 10 minutes. Reheat in a pot over medium until warmed through, 8 to 10 minutes.

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Photograph by Jen Causey

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FO O D S T Y L I N G BY C H E L S E A Z I M M E R ; P R O P S T Y L I N G BY C L A I R E S P O L L E N

MIX the cumin, ginger, coriander, cinnamon, and salt together in a large bowl.

Add the chicken and toss to coat.

Italian Sausage Penne

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© 2016 Johnsonville Sausage, LLC. Learn more about our family-owned company at Johnsonville.com.

FIND OUT WHERE TO BUY ITEMS FE ATURED IN THE IS S SU E

T H AT’ S A W R A P !

Page 112: Step-through frame bicycle in matte black, $449, prioritybicycles.com.

D EC K E D O U T

T H E LO N G A N D S H O RT O F I T

Page 169: Golden Lilies wreath, $78; and Golden Snowdrops wreath, $58: shopterrain.com. Page 170: All Hands leather planter, $185, clic.com. Stargazer glass bubble lights, $28, shopterrain.com. Gray taper candle, $2, cb2.com.

Framed photograph by Sang An. Page 172: Antique hammered-brass planter, $30, jamaligarden.com.

Modern wood-leg standing planters, $109 (short) and $149 (tall), westelm.com.

OUR GIFT TO YO U Page 182: Special thanks to Mark Connelly, professor of modern British history at the University of Kent, in Canterbury, England.

WA R M W E LC O M E

Page 91: Top by Beaufille.

Choker by Lady Grey.

Page 92: Turtleneck by Tibi.

Coat by M. Martin. Page 94: Pajama jumpsuit by M. Martin.

Earrings by Lady Grey.

Page 168: Lilliana bench, $1,425, newyorkheartwoods. com. Double sheepskin rug in vole, $240, clic.com.

Hay Box box rectangle set in red, $45, momastore.org.

Larkspur jute-and-suede rug, $298 (five by seven feet), serenaandlily.com.

COMING NEXT MONTH 01.2017 Writer Marjorie Ingall asks herself—and a life coach, a therapist, and a personal assistant—why so many of her projects end up half-done, and takes us on a hilarious journey of self-discovery and (fingers crossed!) productivity.

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C LO C KW I S E F R O M T O P L E F T: P H O T O G R A P H BY M AT T H E W W I L L I A M S ; P H O T O G R A P H C O U R T E S Y O F S T E L L A & D O T; P H O T O G R A P H BY A A R O N D Y E R , P R O P S T Y L I N G BY J O J O L I ; P H O T O G R A P H BY M O L LY C R A N N A

Page 133: Noir earrings, $136, noirnyc.com.

Sarah Magid cuff, $298, sarahmagid.com. From St Xavier clutch, $135, revolve. com. Page 134: On Kerry, R.J. Graziano earrings, $75, rjgraziano.com; Swarovski ring, $299, swarovski.com.

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Page 136: On Courtney, Stella & Dot necklace, $159, stelladot.com; Daya

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Page 138: On Dawn, Ann Taylor earrings, $60, ann taylor.com; BCBGeneration clutch, $88, bcbgeneration. com; Banana Republic pumps, $138, bananarepublic.com.

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