Parents - May 2020

H O W T O T H R I V E I N A S M A LL S PAC E W I T H T O D D LE R S

#mompower

RO C K THE IR

WO RLD DECODE YOUR K I D’S MOOD PLANT AN EDIBLE GARDEN TOGETHER CELEBRATE THE EVERYDAY (with cake!)

Model mama KAROLÍNA KURKOVÁ with Noah and Tobin

MAY 2020 PARENTS.COM

LE T ’ S G O ! B E S T FA M I LY CARS OF 2020

M A K E - A H E A D B R E A K FA S T S FOR EASIER MORNINGS

USE IT TO MAKE SNACKS

BREAKFAST

FRIENDS

(THE LIST GOES ON, BUT I'M OUT OF SPACE) LIVE A LITTLE NUTTY ©2020 JUSTIN'S, LLC

CONTENTS

I N E V E RY I S S U E 6 Editor’s Note 13 Let’s Get Real 18 You’re Welcome 116 Giggles

38

KI D S 21 News + Ideas What to do about your kid’s knuckle cracking, the 411 on the new peanut-allergy drug, and great books from abroad 26 Think Like Your Kid To understand where children’s irrational fears come from, first you need to get in their head.

32 Big Ideas for Small Spaces Smart strategies to make the most of family life in a little home, including bunk beds, storage hacks, and more 38 Simple Cakes to Save Every Day You don’t need a good reason to bake a cake, just these easy recipes for anytime joy.

46 Add Veggies to More Meals Zucchini “pizza,” grilled cheese with spinach or sweet potato, and more clever ideas from a mom-dietitian

75

48 Animal House!

Meet Ethan and his cat, Jack.

66 How Medical Experts Prevent Headaches Doctors and nurses (all of them parents!) offer tips.

YO U

70 A Birth Story I Never Expected One mother’s moving and harrowing recap of her son’s complicated delivery

51 Supermodel, Super Mama!

How mom-entrepreneur Karolína Kurková builds wellness into her life

LI FE

56 Power-Mom Beauty Routines Skin care and makeup for all kinds of selfie magic

75 Grow Your Groceries!

Raising the next generation of green thumbs

64 Beauty While Momming Our beauty director on her favorite sunscreen, cleansers, and hairremoval tricks

84 The Secret to Hassle-Free Family Vacations Seven ways to keep everyone happy while traveling

ON THE COVER Karolína Kurková and her sons, Noah, 4 years, and Tobin, 10 years. Photograph by Mei Tao. Wardrobe styling by Connie Berg for Atelier Management. Hairstyling by Gianluca Mandelli for Art Department. Makeup by Daniela Golzan. Prop and set styling by Helen Crowther. Child wrangling by Jacqui Rowley.

On Karolína: Shirt, Sandro. Shorts, Derek Lam 10 Crosby. Sandals, Da Costanzo Capri.

Necklaces and thin bracelets, Shashi. Link bracelet, Cartier. Rings, Graziella Gems. On Noah: Shirt, Maison Me. Jeans, Epic Threads.

On Tobin: Shirt, Cat & Jack. Sweater, Gap. Shorts, Trunks. Shoes, Converse.

84

90 And the Winning Cars Are ...

Our annual family-car awards featuring the 20 parent-tested choices 100 Big-Batch Breakfasts Healthy morning meals for easier a.m.’s

AG E S + STAG E S 109 Pregnancy Travel safely.

109 0–12 Months Make good use of pacifiers.

110 1–2 Years Teach healthy eating.

111 3–4 Years Encourage language development.

112 5–6 Years Boost his attention span.

112 7–9 Years Get her started with sports.

114 10–12 Years Manage academic pressure.

PA R E N T S

3 M AY

2020

“In a hotel bed, eating some sort of fried-appetizer platter and watching true-crime documentaries.”

How would you like to spend Mother’s Day?

JULIA EDELSTEIN Editor-in-Chief Executive Creative Director AGNETHE GLATVED Executive Editor MIRANDA VAN GELDER Managing Editor PATRICK MOFFITT Deputy Editor DIANE DEBROVNER

“We’re all magically dressed in clean clothes, no one is cranky, and I’m drinking a latte someone else made for me as I watch the kids play outside—happily!”

Beauty Director KATE SANDOVAL BOX Senior Editor, Features KATIE ARNOLD-RATLIFF Senior Editor, Nutrition and Travel KAREN CICERO Entertainment Editor JESSICA HARTSHOR N Staff Health Editor EMILY ELVERU Associate Editor, Beauty SHANNON M. BAUER Editorial Assistants KYLEIGH LEDDY, KARA THOMPSON ART & PRODUCTION Art Director EMILY FURLANI Associate Art Director JAMIE LEE Senior Designer MARIA FERNANDEZ-DAVILA Art Assistant AVA BRAMSON Production Director VINCENT M. SPINA PHOTO Executive Photo Director LILY FRANCESCA ALT Photo Editor JOANNA MUENZ Photo Coordinator MAGGIE BLATTEL Associate Photo Editor ERIKA THOMPSON RESEARCH & COPY Research Director BARBARA BRANDON-CROFT Copy Chief JEAN RODIE Copy Editor SHELLEY WOLSON Test Kitchen Project Manager LINDA BREWER, R.D.N.

“At Atlantis, in the Bahamas, so I can have family time but also escape for a piña colada.”

Deputy Managing Editor TARA LUSTBERG Executive Operations Coordinator, Office of Editor-in-Chief ADRIENNE FARR

MARK JOSEPHSON Senior Vice President, Group Publisher Sales Manager, Meredith Parents Network DONNA LINDSKOG ADVERTISING SALE S West Coast Director JULIE BANFIELD Advertising Sales Staff ALYSSA CRAMER COHEN, CATHERINE DAUN, ANNE GILHOOL, MOLLY THOMPSON, MARIA TOCCO, NADINE WAXENBERG Assistants BRIDGET CORRY, MICHELLE KWAN, KIM SCHWARTZ Parents.com Advertising Director ALISA JANOWITZ GOLUB Manager, Direct Media TYLER HUB National Travel Director MELISSA LUEBBE Senior Research Manager ALISON JAYE MARKETING Group Marketing Director KRISTEN STUCCHIO-SUAREZ Senior Marketing Manager JUDY SCHIFFMAN Marketing Manager MARNIE DOWLER “Having a Marketing Coordinator DIANA ZULUAGA Group Creative Director JEANETTE CHOW Mother’s Day baby!

Art Director TRACY D’AGOSTINO I’m due a week Associate Art Director DAVID L. TRACY A D M I N I S T R AT I O N Executive Business Director JANICE CROAT Business Manager MEGAN WOOD Advertising Business Manager BOB PARLAPIANO Consumer Marketing Manager RACHEL BLACK Production Director MELANIE STOLTENBERG Production Manager COURTNEY PETERSON Advertising Production Supervisor ALI FELSENTHAL Director of Quality JOSEPH KOHLER Quality Analyst BEN ANDERSON Prepress Desktop Specialist GREG FAIRHOLM

Contributing Editors DAPHNE de MARNEFFE, Ph.D., SALLY KUZEMCHAK, R.D., JENNY MOLLEN, ERIN ZAMMETT RUDDY, COLBY SHARP, VIRGINIA SOLE-SMITH D I G I TA L

Executive Editor JULIA DENNISON Deputy Editor MELISSA BYKOFSKY SEO Editor LIZ LASHWAY Senior Photo Editor SARINA FINKELSTEIN Features Editor ANNA HALKIDIS Social Media Editor GILLIAN NIGRO SEO Writer NICOLE HARRIS Associate Editor LIBBY RYAN ADVISORY B OARD Pediatrics ARI BROWN, M.D., DAVID L. HILL, M.D., HARVEY KARP, M.D., JANE MORTON, M.D., IRWIN REDLENER, M.D., MICHAEL RICH, M.D., M.P.H., HARLEY A. ROTBART, M.D., DARSHAK SANGHAVI, M.D., JENNIFER SHU, M.D., WENDY SUE SWANSON, M.D., M.B.E. Nutrition JILL CASTLE, R.D.N., CONNIE DIEKMAN, R.D. Mental Health ROBIN BERMAN, M.D., DAVID FASSLER, M.D., HAROLD S. KOPLEWICZ, M.D., REBECCA LANDA, Ph.D. Environmental Health AARON BERNSTEIN, M.D., M.P.H., PHILIP LANDRIGAN, M.D. Dentistry LEZLI LEVENE HARVELL, D.M.D. “With my wife, Child Development and Behavior LISA DAMOUR, Ph.D., my mother, WAYNE FLEISIG, Ph.D., EILEEN KENNEDY-MOORE, Ph.D., my mother-in-law, WENDY MOGEL, Ph.D., MICHAEL THOMPSON, Ph.D. and my two Women’s Health ALICE D. DOMAR, Ph.D., adult daughters, MARJORIE GREENFIELD, M.D., LAURA RILEY, M.D., all of whom are ALEXANDRA SACKS, M.D. Education and Child Care DEBORAH STIPEK, Ph.D., incredible blessings CATHY VATTEROTT, Ph.D. in my life.”

Allergy WILLIAM E. BERGER, M.D., HUGH SAMPSON, M.D. Emergency Medicine and Safety MARTIN EICHELBERGER, M.D., WENDY L. HUNTER, M.D., GARY A. SMITH, M.D., Dr.P.H. Sleep JODI MINDELL, Ph.D., JUDITH OWENS, M.D. Dermatology LAWRENCE F. EICHENFIELD, M.D., JODY ALPERT LEVINE, M.D.

later, so that would be the ultimate Mother’s Day gift.”

“Playing board games, eating build-your-own tacos for dinner, and then watching a movie with my husband and our two girls.”

MEREDITH NATIONAL MEDIA GROUP President, Meredith Magazines DOUG OLSON President, Consumer Products TOM WITSCHI President, Chief Digital Officer CATHERINE LEVENE Chief Business and Data Officer ALYSIA BORSA Chief Revenue Officer MICHAEL BROWNSTEIN Marketing and Integrated Communications NANCY WEBER

Senior Vice Presidents Consumer Revenue ANDY WILSON Corporate Sales BRIAN KIGHTLINGER Direct Media PATTI FOLLO Research Solutions BRITTA CLEVELAND Strategic Sourcing, Newsstand, Production CHUCK HOWELL Digital Sales MARLA NEWMAN The Foundry MATT PETERSEN Product and Technology JUSTIN LAW Vice Presidents Finance CHRIS SUSIL Business Planning and Analysis ROB SILVERSTONE Consumer Marketing STEVE CROWE Brand Licensing TOYE CODY and SONDRA NEWKIRK Corporate Communications JILL DAVISON

Vice President, Group Editorial Director LIZ VACCARIELLO Director, Editorial Operations and Finance ALEXANDRA BREZ MEREDITH CORPORATION President and Chief Executive Officer TOM HARTY Chief Financial Officer JASON FRIEROTT Chief Development Officer JOHN ZIESER Chief Strategy Officer DAPHNE KWON President, Meredith Local Media Group PATRICK McCREERY Senior Vice President, Human Resources DINA NATHANSON Chairman STEPHEN M. LACY Vice Chairman MELL MEREDITH FRAZIER

© Copyright Meredith Corporation 2020. All rights reserved. Parents is a registered trademark of Meredith Corporation, registered at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

Executive, editorial, and advertising offices: 225 Liberty Street, New York, NY 10281. Email: writeus@parents.com. Submission of your material constitutes permission for Meredith Corporation to allow its use in any media. Subscribers please note: Our subscribers list is occasionally made available to carefully selected firms whose products may be of interest to you. If you prefer not to receive info from these companies by mail or by phone, please let us know. Send your request and your mailing label to Parents Customer Service, P.O. Box 37508, Boone, IA 50037-0508.

Subscription help: Visit us at parents.com/myaccount, email pmmcustserv@cdsfulfillment.com, or call 800-727-3682. For syndication or international licensing requests or reprint and reuse permission, email syndication@meredith.com. Printed in the U.S.A.

“The Kicker”

“The Flamingo”

“The Irish Stepdance”

UP TO

100% leak free, no matter how you sleep

*vs. Always Maxi Regular with wings

© Procter & Gamble, 2020

2

E

AKGUA LE R

D™

ULTIMA T

Always Overnight pads have a 2X larger back* for up to 10 hours of protection while you sleep.

10hrs

X

up to

EDITOR’S NOTE

F O R T H E PA S T few months,

I’ve been referring to my home (in my own head, at least) as the Land of No. “It’s time to get your jacket on,” I’ll say to my 5-year-old.

“No!” Joey shouts back.

Go ahead and reread that exchange ten or 20 times, apply it to every scenario under the sun (eating dinner, putting a toy away), and you’ll grasp how my days often play out. For an extra dose of

It’s a good thing they’re cute ...

PA R E N T S

6 M AY

2020

reality, add a few failed tries at compromise, a little brother inching perilously closer to missing his naptime, and a maternal stress level that’s rising, no zenith in sight.

I’ll come right out and say it: My sons are cooperative with the other adults in their life but are frequently headstrong with me. And the more this trend has gone on, the more my parenting confidence has waned. In fact, after trying anything and everything to inspire consistent listening, I began to think my only option was to wait for my kids to grow up. But this week, as I found myself staring down COVID-19 social distancing with my kids, I realized I needed a fresh tactic, fast.

MAKING THE MOST OF MOTHER’S D AY

The holiday is on its way! While I adore homemade cards and extra kid-kisses, I mostly view the day as an emotional minefield. That’s because I lost my own mom in 2015, one year into my motherhood journey. The day will never be easy, but over the years, I’ve found that giving back helps. Here’s my plan for May 10:

When I met empowerHER founder Cara Belvin, who was 9 when her own mother died, I felt an instant connection to her mission: providing healing, support, and mentorship to young girls who have lost their mother. This month, I hope to host a moms night to benefit empowerHER, and to honor my late mom. For more information, visit empoweringher.org.

THE EMOTIONS OF M O T H E R ’ S D AY

Scan this code with your phone’s camera to read an essay I wrote for Parents four years ago about my first Mother’s Day without my mom (no app needed).

JULIA: PETER ARDITO. HAIR AND MAKEUP BY LINDSEY WILLIAMS. BOYS: COURTESY OF JULIA EDELSTEIN.

Getting to the Root of Misbehavior

The brilliant advice from author Virginia Sole-Smith in the parenting feature “Think Like Your Kid,” on page 26, has shifted the way I see my children. As I read it, I began to grasp that I’d been so focused on halting my older son’s misbehavior that I had failed to deeply consider why it was happening in the first place.

So that night, exasperated and exhausted, I asked him, mid-tantrum: “Why do you cooperate and listen for everyone but me?”

Joey surprised me as he collected himself and spoke from the heart: “If I’m not good in school, my teacher won’t like me. And if I’m not good with Grandma, she won’t want to babysit me. But you said you would love me no matter what!”

Just like that, I realized my son had been testing the limits of my love.

“Of course I’ll always love you,” I said, pulling him close.

“But you don’t have to be bad to prove it!”

Maybe he was just tired, but Joey climbed right into bed without arguing. And though parenting is never a straight road, our time together is already growing a little easier. “Remember,” I now say in his obstinate moments, “I love you no matter what.” And sometimes, instead of yet another “No,” I hear, “I love you, too, Mama,” in reply.

Hospitals choose us first because we put gentle first.

Formulated for baby’s delicate skin, which is up to 30% thinner than adult skin.

Pediatrician-tested. Hypoallergenic and free of dyes, parabens, and phthalates. ©Johnson & Johnson Consumer Inc. 2020 Use products only as directed

ADVERTISEMENT

A

C

B

A. Milport Dining Metal Slat Stacking Chair, $43.00 B. Black & White Cabana Stripe Universal Seat Pad, $9.86 C. Milport Black Metal Slat Dining Table, $138.00 D. Fischer 8” Planter, $7.

Selections and prices may vary by store and online.

walmart.com/bhg

ADVERTISEMENT

D

ADVERTISEMENT

stylish furniture to freshen up your outdoor space

A

D

B

F

walmart.com/bhg

C

G

H

I

ADVERTISEMENT

E

SPACE TO ADD AN UMBRELLA ROUNDS OUT THE DESIGN

A. Brookbury All Weather Wicker Sofa Sectional Patio Dining Set, $797.00 B. 19.5” Black Battery-Operated Lantern, $24.96 C. 6.5” Black Battery-Operated Lantern, $9.97 D. Parrot Toss Pillow, $12.82 each E. Asbay Tabletop Torch, $14.23 F. 6’8”x 9’9” Rectangle Spa Premium Umbrella, $88.00 G. Pillar Stripe Toss Pillow, $12.82 H. Asbay 12” Planter, $24.97 I. Turquoise Medallion 7’10” x 10’ Rug, $97.00 Selections and prices may vary by store and online.

SO SMOOTH IT WILL MAKE YOU FORGET ABOUT YOUR AWKWARD YEARS.

ALL 27 OF THEM. © 2019 MARS OR AFFILIATES

•

MO T H E R’ S DAY

Tell Us About It

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP: MAURY PHILLIPS/CONTRIBUTOR/GETTY; JON KOPALOFF/STRINGER/GETTY; ARI MICHELSON; ETHAN MILLER/STAFF/GETTY; DIA DIPASUPIL/STAFF/GETTY.

We asked five of our favorite moms: “What do you appreciate about your own mother now that you didn’t as a kid?”

“I appreciate her eccentricities. As a child, I’d be embarrassed at times by how different our household was.

As I got older and started to embrace my individuality, I realized she was being a role model for us by walking to the beat of her own drum and not conforming to the status quo.”

—Laura Prepon, actress and author of You & I, as Mothers: A Raw and Honest Guide to Motherhood

R E L AT E . R E J O I C E . R E AC T. R E M I N I S C E .

“I’ve always appreciated my mom and my stepmom. But after having a child of my own, I understand all the sacrifices my mother had to make. She raised five of us on top of balancing a personal life and a business life. It’s crazy.”

—Angela Simmons, of WE tv’s Growing Up Hip Hop

“I never understood the work it took for my mom to get up at 5:30 a .m. to take the dog out, do her 4-mile walk, get our backpacks and lunches ready, then cook, clean, and be standing there at every baseball, softball, and cheerleading practice. She made it look so seamless, and she had the biggest smile on her face while doing it.”

—Molly Sims, of the Netflix comedy The Wrong Missy

“I grew up in a family that teases, and Mom got teased the most.

I never considered how that must have made her feel, two girls and a husband making fun of her, even if it was lighthearted. Now I’m a mom, and when my 1-year-old giggles more with her dad, I secretly feel a little miffed. The strength it must have taken for my mom to know her worth despite our jokes impresses me and admittedly hurts my heart a little.”

—Rachel Platten, singer-songwriter and author of the children’s book You Belong

“As a kid, when I saw my mom leaving for work, I’d stand by the door and cry and ask her not to go.

I truly made a huge stink about it, and I would block the door and get my little brother in on it too.

Oh man, how guilty I must have made her feel!

Now I understand how hard she was working for us.”

—Joy Cho, founder of the lifestyle brand Oh Joy! and author of the children’s book Be Curious!

—Jessica Hartshorn

PA R E N T S

13 M A Y

2020

LET’S GET REAL

PAR ENT CONFESSION

•

L E S S ON F R OM M Y L I T T L E ON E

When Apple unveiled its Screen Time iOS feature last year, it was billed as a way for parents to see which apps their kids use, what websites they visit, and how long they’re on an iPad or iPhone.

My teens are in my “family” group, so it’s easy for me to see their daily and weekly Screen Time report, right from my own phone.

I thought for sure I would bust them. I kind of pictured myself saying, “I have proof that you’re on YouTube way too much!” But the reality is that my own Screen Time usage is always an hour over theirs on any given day.

Sometimes mine is even double! I don’t feel like I’m on my phone all the time—but clearly, I am on there plenty.

While kids tend to sit and use a screen for a few concentrated periods of time per day, parents check their devices almost constantly: A survey from Reviews.org has some 65 percent of the 500 adult respondents admitting they check their phone about once every nine minutes during the day. I guess I’m the one who’s busted.

—J.H.

I’M IN MY ROOM,

leveling my way through a mound of clean laundry. I make a pile of my daughter’s tops, most emblazoned with messages like “In a field of horses, be a unicorn.” Her clothes are still small in my hands, but it seems like only minutes ago when I was fumbling with newborn outfits so tiny they’d defiantly pop from my fold in a sort of onesie tantrum.

Suddenly, I hear cries from my girl’s room. Like Wonder Woman, I race down the hall and push open her door, ready to assuage anything from a bad dream to a painful hangnail. Instead, her sobs catch me off guard: “I don’t want to grow up!” she cries into my collarbone, a single dangling tooth flopping forward with every word.

At first I suppress the urge to laugh—my daughter is 7! She is still far from the responsibility of adulthood.

But the truth is, in the past week she has already lost two teeth, and I can’t help but notice that it makes her face look older.

“Remember when it was just you and me?” she asks, reminiscing about the days when her older brother went to school and she and

I stayed home together. “I used to sit in the cart while you shopped.”

I’d take her with me on errands to the grocery store or Target, asking her absurd questions that I already knew the answer to, such as “Are these blue-suede

booties completely impractical?” (To which she’d equal times nod and shake her head.) When she started school, I missed having my buddy by my side.

“I loved that time we had together,” I tell her, “but I love how smart, sweet, and funny you are now that you’re bigger.”

“I don’t want to get bigger!” she sobs.

“One day you won’t even

want me around,” I say, aware that placating her fears only exacerbates mine.

I want to hold her close for as long as I can, just as she’s holding on to that stubborn front tooth.

My daughter is right: We are too busy with school, activities, sports, and playdates to realize that the passage of time has become a bunch of checked boxes. With each task accomplished, another day has gone by. In fact, so many unnoticed days have passed that my daughter is outgrowing her clothes once again.

The next day, while showing her grandparents her hanging tooth on FaceTime, it unexpectedly pops out. “Mom,” she yells in surprise, dropping the phone. A look of horror crosses her face. Getting older, usually abstract for a kid, is as tangible as the enamel pebble she holds in her hand. I can see she is about to cry, not from pain but from pure anxiety.

Then I remember our conversation from the previous night. “Let’s do something together to celebrate, just you and me!”

I say, and before her tears can fall, she breaks into a toothless smile.

—Sara Berger

T A N T R U M O F T H E M O N T H > > > “She wanted her hair tied back—but didn’t want to use a hair tie.” @bree_richo

PA R E N T S

14 M A Y

2020

FROM LEFT: PETER ARDITO; COURTESY OF THE SUBJECT.

Growing Up Feels Fast for Kids Too

My Screen-Time Reality Check

100% GROWN IN IDAHO

CRISPY Amazingly crispy on the outside, soft and tender on the inside.

Try all nine varieties.

In your grocer’s freezer.

GrownInIdaho.com

LET’S GET REAL

U

Of all my successes, I am most proud of ones that didn’t come easily.

my son Sid was 5, his life was filled with flattery and validation for every endeavor he embarked upon. His artwork was likened to that of Basquiat, his dancing naked in the living room applauded as if he were Baryshnikov. Like so many parents, I’d indulged him and adored him and convinced him that there was nothing he could not do.

As a result, Sid decided that he had no real need for school and even less need for after-school activities.

What was the point? As far as he was concerned, he’d already mastered life.

“What about a guitar class?” I inquired.

“Naw. You already told me that I’m an amazing guitar player,” he reminded me.

“But ... you don’t even play guitar.” I looked at him, confused.

“Air guitar, duh! It’s even harder than regular guitar because I can’t see the strings!” he rebutted.

As much as I wanted to argue, I loved Sid’s extreme confidence, his naiveté, his gusto! I also wanted to savor it because I knew it wouldn’t last forever.

When Sid started kindergarten this past fall, I noticed a shift. His selfawareness started expanding.

He was exposed to more children, more ideas, and more challenges. Predictably, he began comparing himself with other kids and shying

PA R E N T S

16 M A Y

2020

W E N E E D TO TA LK .

The Challenging Gift of Failure For kids to succeed, first they’ve gotta struggle. It’s our job to teach them to keep trying and play the long game.

by J E N N Y M O L L E N

away from things outside his comfort zone. He was no longer the best at everything, and he knew it.

It feels like a punch in the gut when you learn that your kid wasn’t picked first for soccer or when you hear him berate himself for not knowing the right answer on a pop quiz. It’s heartbreaking not just because of our tendency to overidentify and remember all of our own struggles (I never made the tumbling team!) but also

because as parents, we lose our ability to kiss all things and make them better.

Yet, we should want our kids to experience the sting of disappointment because it’s an invitation to overcome.

It is how the good stuff happens. When I was in grade school, I was diagnosed with dyslexia and separated from my classmates during reading time. Years later, my high-school counselor told me that UCLA would be a long shot. I not only got into UCLA,

I graduated a year early.

My grammar may be terrible, but I’ve made a career out of writing and authored two best-selling books.

I was never a straight-A student, prom queen, or sports star. But I was always determined and scrappy and willing to make mistakes.

I cried a lot because things weren’t easy. But then I managed to take each no as more of a dare than a don’t.

I didn’t set out trying to smooth the road for my kids; that just happened because of how much I love them. No one intends to be a snowplow parent, but our impulse to protect can override logic and even personal experience.

I have to remind myself daily (sometimes hourly) to get out of the way! To let my sons fall down so they experience getting back up. Letting them avoid struggle is like robbing them of their own heroes’ journey. And if life were too easy, what would be the fun?

“Fine, I’ll try a guitar class,” Sid said after weeks of contemplation. “But what if I’m bad at it?”

“You are going to start out bad at it!” I told him. “That is why it is so exciting.”

WHAT DID J E NNY POST TO DAY? Scan this code with your phone’s camera to see her Instagram (no app needed), or follow @jennymollen.

JAMIE MAGNIFICO.

UP UNTIL

©J&JCI 2020

LET’S GET REAL

You’re Welcome!

Your monthly dose of what’s new, novel, and need-to-know

Catherine Newman, is an illustrated guide that teaches tweens (who aren’t eager to learn anything from you) life skills such as managing money, doing the dishes, and addressing an envelope. $12; out May 26 $

Only two months (or less!) of lunches to go!

Create an assembly line of bread, nut butter, and jelly to make several sandwiches at once.

Wrap each in foil; freeze.

Toss one in the lunch box at breakfast and it will thaw by midday. Done!

PA R E N T S

18 M A Y

2020

30 to $50

That’s the average amount spent on a baby-shower gift, according to our #ParentsIRL Facebook group.

This gender-neutral pick (right) comes from LittleLamma.com, a shopping service that chooses and mails presents on your behalf and even sends a card.

Giraffe Blanket ($40) includes a plush toy and a soft fleece blanket.

Install a smart switch anywhere, without an electrician! When you stick the C by GE wire-free smart switch on the wall and use it with a C by GE lightbulb or with a C by GE smart plug and a regular bulb, the light turns on and off via Bluetooth magic.

Genius! Starting at $23; cbyge.com

Have a parenting Q that stumps coworkers, mom friends, even—gasp— Google?

Try Ask Your Mom, a new series on Parents.com with advice from a psychologist and mom of three who sees (and gets) it all.

No wiring?

No problem.

by S H A N N O N M . B AU E R

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: DANGRYTSKU/GETTY; COURTESY OF THE PUBLISHER; COURTESY OF CELESTE BARBER; COURTESY OF THE BRANDS (2); KOURAFAS5/GETTY.

Staring down Mother’s Day with no bouquet for your MIL? Use Instacart.com to shop from her local grocery store for fresh flowers and they’ll be delivered to her door in as little as an hour. Mission accomplished for a last-minute surprise.

HOW TO BE A PERSON, by

Follow Australian mom and comic @celestebarber on Instagram to see her send-ups of celeb photos (Karlie Kloss in a bra, Rihanna in undies), re-created with a real-person body and goofy homemade props.

Hilarity ensues!

THE COCKTAIL PARTY YOU CAN HAVE AT YOUR DESK

JUST A LITTLE BIT FANCY © 2020 Tyson Foods, Inc.

HELP THEM

TA M E A TA N T R U M _ _ _ _ _

THRIVE

S M A R T I D E A S F O R S M A L L S PA C E S

I N E V E RY WAY

_ _ _ _ S U P E R - E A SY C A K E S

WARDROBE STYLING BY LISA MOIR. GROOMING BY HETHER BECKREST. PROP STYLING BY MICAH BISHOP. CHILD WRANGLING BY TIM WEEG.

Baffling Body Behaviors, Explained Your child’s bizarre physical habits—blinking her eyes repetitively, shrugging her shoulders over and over, clearing her throat—shouldn’t keep you up at night. “They’re called benign motor tic disorders and are quite common in first- and second-graders, but they usually go away as your kid gets older,” says Eileen Costello, M.D., a pediatrician in Boston and coauthor of Quirky Kids.

In fact, kids often like to experiment by moving and bending their body photograph by PRI S C I LL A G R AG G

B ut

I lik

s it t i n

e

g

this way!

PA R E N T S

21 M A Y

2020

K I D S Ñ Ne w s + I d e a s

… C O N T I N U E D

in ways that look unnatural. You may be curious about these three behaviors, but they’re usually nothing to worry about.

Knuckle Cracking Despite the cringeworthy sound it makes, there's no evidence that this causes arthritis or any other joint issues later on, says Dr. Costello. That popping sound you hear is actually air bubbles releasing, not bones cracking.

Joint Contortions When a sentence starts off with, “Hey, Mom, watch this!” and your kid is better known as Elastigirl, it’s hard to know what twists and turns will follow. We all have some degree of flexibility, and that ranges widely. About 10 to 15 percent of kids are double-jointed, meaning they can extend body parts—typically fingers, thumbs, elbows, or knees—beyond their normal range of motion. Do take note, though, if

your child complains about pain in these areas. “Kids who can overextend—often athletes, dancers, and gymnasts—tend to be the ones who injure themselves seriously later,” Dr. Costello says.

W Sitting You’ve probably seen your child in this position (butt on the ground, knees bent, legs splayed out to the sides) and wondered how that could possibly be comfortable—or good for his joints. But it’s completely natural for a toddler or a preschooler, says Shelly Vaziri Flais, M.D., a pediatrician in Naperville, Illinois. Kids typically outgrow it in kindergarten as their hips and thighbones mature, though some may continue to W sit due to low muscle tone in their trunk or underlying hip issues. If you continue to notice your school-age child lounging this way, Dr. Costello suggests making an appointment to see his pediatrician.

—Amanda Krupa

NEWS TO SMILE ABOUT

1

Caring for a grandchild may help grandparents feel less alone.

My 6-year-old refuses to poop in the bathroom at school.

How can I convince her to go?

A This is a common problem—many

kids would much rather go in the privacy of their own home. (Honestly, could you blame them?) As a general rule, don’t force your kid to poop, especially in a foreign environment.

Kids this age don’t have much control over their daily lives, so they try to influence what they can—like eating only white foods, refusing to go to bed at night, and, yep, not doing number two at school.

In order to go, your child needs to feel comfortable, and that can depend on several variables, such as the height of the toilet, noise, and timing.

If she uses a footrest at home and the toilet seat at school is too high, causing her feet to dangle, she could have trouble relaxing. If she feels rushed during the busy school day, she’s more likely to hold it in.

Kids should poop at least once every two days. But if she isn’t on this

PA R E N T S

22 M A Y

2020

schedule and isn’t complaining of any discomfort, it’s not necessarily a reason for concern. To avoid constipation, find a time during the day—ideally before or after school or shortly after she eats breakfast or dinner—for her to sit on the toilet.

Practice some relaxation techniques, like letting her read a book while she’s sitting. Make sure she’s drinking plenty of water and eating high-fiber foods too. Fruit with large pits, such as apricots, plums, or peaches, are especially helpful.

If she experiences stomach pains, a lack of appetite, or frequent pee accidents (a sign that there’s too much pressure on her bladder), check in with her pediatrician.

Source: Kimara Gustafson, M.D., a member of the Parents AAP Panel and a pediatrician in Minneapolis —Kyleigh Leddy

2

Choking deaths in the U.S. have dropped by 75 percent over the past 50 years.

When comparing data from 1968 to 2017, researchers at the Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital of Chicago discovered this large decline, particularly for those under age 3, which is likely related to the improved regulations since the 1969 Child Protection and Toy Safety Act. 3

Only children aren’t more narcissistic than kids with siblings.

Researchers looked at scores of two self-centered traits (feeling grandiose and being more rivalrous) in more than 1,800 participants and discovered no significant difference between those with siblings and those without, according to research published in Social Psychological and Personality Science.

—K.L.

TOP RIGHT: LM PHOTO/GETTY. BOTTOM: COURTESY OF THE SUBJECT.

PAGING DR. MOM

A study of older adults found that those with active caregiving roles were less lonely and had a larger social network, according to research published in BMJ Open.

TO FUEL MORE OF THE MOMENTS YOU LOVE

NEW !

INTRODUCING HIGH PROTEIN DRY DOG FOOD FROM THE BRAND YOU TRUST 30g OF PROTEIN PER CUP

MADE WITH REAL LAMB

ARTIFICIAL FLAVORS

RY OUR DELICIOUS WET RECIPES ALSO T 40G OF PROTEIN PER CAN. WITH

Purina trademarks are owned by Société des Produits Nestlé S.A.

K I D S Ñ Ne w s + I d e a s

BOOKMARK THIS! LET US EXPLAIN

Publishers are packing up hits from across the globe and bringing them to the States.

Add these to your nightly rotation.

FROM

Germany A fun read-aloud with a lot of alliteration, A Tiger Like Me, by Michael Engler and illustrated by Joëlle Tourlonias, follows a day in the life of a boy—no, wait, a tiger! Kids will be roaring (pun fully intended) as he dashes past the bathroom because “brushes and combs aren’t good for tigers” and leaps to the table to “devour tiger flakes.” Save it for bedtime: On the last page of the story, the tiger returns to his den to dream.

FROM

Spain With stories that are an ideal length for kids ages 3 to 6, Little People, Big Dreams, by Maria Isabel Sanchez Vegara, is a series of more than 35 nonfiction titles that profile inspiring people, from tennis player Evonne Goolagong to the author of Pippi Longstocking, Astrid Lindgren. The back of every book includes a timeline and photographs.

FROM

Brazil Inspired by author Fernando Vilela’s trip to the Amazon rain forest, Along the Tapajós tells the story of siblings who must leave their village on the Tapajós River during the rainy season. When they safely get to higher ground, they realize they forgot something—their pet tortoise. Will they rescue him in time?

Your kid is sure to sit still as you read to find out.

FROM

Great Britain Told from the perspective of a dog advising his four-legged friends, this tongue-in-cheek book, How to Be a Dog, by Jo Williamson, pairs tip-filled text (“Remember to always say hello to your human in a friendly way”) with lighthearted illustrations (a dog knocking down his human and licking his face).

—Karen Cicero

The New Treatment for Peanut Allergy Earlier this year, the FDA approved Palforzia, the first medication green-lighted for kids ages 4 to 17 who have a diagnosed peanut allergy. It comes in pull-apart capsules or sachets that you mix into a room-temperature semisolid food, such as pudding or applesauce. The treatment process is a bit complicated. Here’s what you should know.

IT’S GIVEN IN THREE PHASES.

According to the manufacturer, the initial dose is a series of 13 capsules administered over one day by your child’s doctor. If your child tolerates Day 1, he’ll transition into the second phase—11 “up-dosage” levels of one to six capsules each, dispensed in two-week intervals. (The first up-dosage needs to be given under the supervision of a health-care professional, because your child has a small risk of an anaphylactic reaction; the rest are consumed at home.)

In the final phase, your kid will take a daily maintenance pill indefinitely.

I T ’ S N O T A C U R E . “While peanut oral immunotherapy does increase the chance of a child having a severe reaction during treatment, it should decrease his chance of having a reaction to an accidental exposure,” says Michael Pistiner, M.D., director of food-allergy advocacy, education, and prevention for MassGeneral Hospital for Children’s Food Allergy Center, in Boston. But it won't eliminate a kid’s allergy. You’ll still need to read labels, inform your waiter of allergies when you’re at a restaurant, carry an auto-injector, and avoid cross-contact.

IT’ S N OT R I G HT FO R A LL FA M I LI E S .

The drug covers only peanuts, so your kid needs to avoid other foods he’s allergic to.

In addition, each maintenance dose should be given with a meal at the same time each day, preferably in the evening, and your child needs to be observed for at least an hour after taking it, which means planning around sports-practice schedules or a packed agenda. Other factors, like illness, an increased body temp, and pain meds, can also affect a child's reaction.

IT SHINES A LIGHT ON RESEARCH.

Additional treatments are in development, so you’ll likely see other options available in the future. “As we wait, it’s important to support your kid’s health and quality of life while managing food allergies,” says Dr. Pistiner. “It’s exciting that the FDA approved this and to see what will come.”

—Emily Elveru

PA R E N T S

24 M A Y

2020

BOOKS: PETER ARDITO. PEANUTS: CREATIV STUDIO HEINEMANN/GETTY.

Reads From Abroad

K I D S Ñ B e h av i or

M Y 5 -Y E A R - O LD

In so many situations, empathy is your secret sauce.

Think Like Your Kid When you find yourself desperately trying to talk some sense into your child as she whines, cries, or freaks out even more, consider the situation from her POV.

by V I R G I N I A S O L E - S M I T H / photograph by C H E Y E N N E E L L I S

PA R E N T S

26 M A Y

2020

daughter, Violet, was midway through kindergarten when she became obsessed with worry about missing the bus.

We’ve never actually missed the bus—we always pick out her clothes and pack her backpack the night before, and allow plenty of time for getting dressed and eating breakfast. But it didn’t matter how organized we were or how well the rest of the morning went. In the final five minutes, when I needed my big girl to put on her coat and shoes while I strapped her younger sister into the stroller, she’d melt into a wailing puddle of frustration. I couldn’t figure it out: Why was she was so fixated on missing the bus but unable to do the one simple thing to ensure that wouldn’t happen?

“Anxiety can make us freeze,” says Janet Lansbury, author of No Bad Kids, who teaches parent-education classes in Los Angeles.

“Yes, most kids can handle getting their coat and shoes on without help by kindergarten, but that ability is irrelevant when they’re panicking.” After talking to Lansbury, I realized how overwhelming the coat-and-shoes task felt from Violet’s perspective.

Just as her bus worry peaked, I stepped away to focus on her baby sister, leaving her alone in our mudroom to wrestle with

K I D S Ñ B e h a v i or

zippers and Velcro while I got the stroller sorted in the garage. Then I came back and got annoyed when she wasn’t ready yet, which made both of us more stressed.

Of course, the whole reason I wanted her to put on her coat and shoes by herself was that I felt daunted by the challenge of getting two kids out the door. “We have a very human tendency to approach any situation with the assumption that the other person is making things hard for us,” says Lisa Damour, Ph.D., a Parents advisor and author of Under Pressure. “We know why we’re doing what we’re doing, so we figure it must be the child who isn’t handling this well.”

The next morning, I tried a different approach. As we entered the mudroom, I got down at Violet’s level. “I need to put Beatrix in the stroller, but then I’ll come back and help you get ready,” I reassured her. “Do you want to start putting on your shoes?” She nodded, and by the time I’d finished with the baby, she was standing proudly with shoes, coat, backpack, and mittens all in place. I didn’t need to put Violet’s shoes on for her—I just had to put myself in them, so to speak, so she’d know she didn’t have to manage the exit scramble alone. You can’t stave off every meltdown, but seeing frustrating situations like these from your child’s perspective will help you handle them with confidence.

Refusing to Share Toys Your 3-year-old has been anticipating a playdate with his best friend all day. You’ve put away his most special toys and talked about sharing.

However, in the middle of the playdate, he suddenly refuses to share anything.

What happened?

YO U R C H I LD ’S TA K E : He’s excited to see his friend and knows sharing is part of the deal. But now he’s realizing how much he doesn’t like someone else touching his stuff. He may worry that sharing a toy means the friend will get to take it home—or your kid’s grabby behavior may just mean he’s getting bored. “Not sharing doesn’t mean your child is selfish or unkind,” says Parents advisor Wendy Mogel, Ph.D., author of Voice Lessons for Parents. “He may just need to move on to a new activity.”

TH E F IX: “The moment when sharing breaks down is your cue to suggest a new game or take the kids outside,” says Dr. Mogel. A change of scenery should reset their moods pretty quickly. If not, know that “taking turns” is an easier concept for kids to accept than sharing, says Parents advisor Eileen KennedyMoore, Ph.D., author of What’s My Kid Thinking? “Have them count to 20 or sing a song; when they finish, it’s the other kid’s turn with the toy.”

YO U R TA K E :

YO U R TA K E : You picked a place that has a children’s menu and ordered the mac ’n’ cheese. Now your 5-year-old is sobbing because it’s curly noodles, not elbows. And this is after she asked where her food was every few minutes as soon as you sat down. Why do you even leave the house?

YO U R C H I LD ’S TA K E : At home, you never ask her to sit at the table for an unspecified amount of time before the food arrives. And the mac ’n’ cheese always looks exactly like what she expects. Now she’s sitting in a grown-up chair that’s too big or too low for her.

“Everything about a restaurant is unpredictable to kids who don’t have a good grasp on how long things might take or why food looks and tastes different there,” says Dr. Damour.

PA R E N T S

28 M AY

2020

GRACE HUANG.

Restaurant Antics

A walnut pesto that teaches you

how to warm a room with an ice cube tray

Find out how to make a walnut pesto you’ll want to enjoy week after week, how an ice tray can make that simple, plus hundreds of other recipes made with heart-healthy* California walnuts at walnuts.org.

Per one ounce serving. *California walnuts are certified by the American Heart Association.® Heart-Check food certification does not apply to recipes unless expressly stated. See heartcheckmark.org/guidelines. Supportive but not conclusive research shows that eating 1.5 ounces of walnuts per day, as part of a low saturated fat and low cholesterol diet and not resulting in increased caloric intake, may reduce the risk of coronary heart disease. (FDA) One ounce of walnuts provides 18g of total fat, 2.5g of monounsaturated fat, 13g of polyunsaturated fat including 2.5g of alpha-linolenic acid – the plant-based omega-3.

So Simple. So Good.®

K I D S Ñ B e h a v i or

Freak-Outs About Dogs ( the Dark, Bugs, Automatic-Flushing Toilets ... )

“Gimmes!” at the Grocery Store Your 2-year-old has picked up a colorful box of ... tampons.

Now he refuses to leave the store without them. (Yes, this scenario is based on a true story.)

YO U R C H I LD ’S TA K E : You get to pick out anything you want and put it in the cart, but you want him to sit patiently and not touch while tons of cool things whiz by. Also, he has no idea how long this trip is going to take or why he can’t eat the cereal that you chose until he gets home.

TH E F IX: Set expectations before you leave the house. If it’s just a quick trip, say, “We’re only going in for XYZ,” and involve your child in helping you find items on that list. On the other hand, if you’re meandering around Target on a Saturday afternoon and might buy an extraneous throw pillow or two, consider letting him get something for YO U R TA K E :

PA R E N T S

30 M A Y

2020

You’ve demonstrated over and over to your 3-year-old that the neighbor’s poodle won’t bite or that there really aren’t any monsters under the bed. But she still goes into hysterics when faced with these irrational fears.

YO U R C H I LD ’S TA K E : She can’t fathom why you’re so calm when that dog is so big and so loud. Dr. Damour puts it in perspective: “I’d be anxious if anytime I walked outside I might encounter a horse that wanted to put its nose and teeth near my face!”

Fears grow along with your child’s imagination. Now she can imagine what might be under the bed or in the toilet. But she doesn’t know enough about the world to understand why, say, an alligator is real but a monster isn’t, or be sure that neither of them will be hiding in a dark room.

TH E F IX: Avoid conveying your own anxiety. “If you pick your child up whenever you see a dog, you’re letting her know you’re worried too,” says Lansbury. “Just stand next to her so you can block the dog with your body.”

For automatic-flushing toilets, put your hand or a Post-it over the sensor.

But don’t dismiss her fear or try to talk her out of it. “She’ll feel like she needs to keep an even tighter grip on her fear because you aren’t getting it,” says Dr. Damour. Acknowledge it as matterof-factly as possible: “You’re afraid of the dark? Well, let’s figure out what to do because it gets dark every night.” Follow up with increasingly playful questions: “Is the monster furry? What sound does it make?” You won’t make her fear more real by validating it; you’ll let her know it’s okay to vent her feelings and may transition the fear from scary to silly.

Then build her confidence in baby steps.

If you’ve been lying down with her until she falls asleep, sit in a chair for a few nights, then outside the door. “Do it gradually, but stay the course,” says Dr. Kennedy-Moore. This lets her know that you believe she can cope with the challenge, even if it’s tough at first.

YO U R TA K E :

TODDLERS DON’T KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT THE WORLD T O U N D E R S TA N D W H Y A N A L L I GAT O R IS REAL BUT A M O N S T E R I S N ’ T.

a few dollars as well. “If I’m making impulse purchases, it’s not really fair to expect my kids to have total self-control,” says Dr. Damour.

When your child gets fixated on an item that’s beyond his budget or the scope of your shopping trip, you can feel good about saying no. “It’s okay for kids to want things, but they can also learn that wanting doesn’t always lead to having,” says Dr. Kennedy-Moore.

Toddlers don’t understand that money isn’t unlimited, so you can just say, “Not today!” It may also be helpful to acknowledge why he wants it: “I can see why you like that. It’s so shiny!” If he gets upset, verbalize that frustration: “You wish we could take it home with us.” Another smart strategy is to engage in his fantasy about the item: “Wouldn’t it be fun if we could buy all the stuffed animals in the store! Where would we put them all?

Your bed would be so crowded.”

MASKOT/GETTY.

Talk ahead of time about the restaurant routine: where you’ll sit, how you’ll order from a menu, and what the food may be like. If you don’t know, it’s fine to say, “We’ll be surprised! But you won’t have to eat anything you don’t want.” Also ask her, “What do you want to do while we wait?” This lets her know that waiting is part of the deal and involves her in solving the problem of how to handle it. You can also bring a snack or feed her a little something at home so she’s not desperately hungry.

If a meltdown happens despite your best-laid plans, take your child out to the parking lot for a break. Once she’s calmer, say, “I see you’re frustrated that the meal is taking so long and you’re having trouble waiting. It’s not okay to disturb the other people in the restaurant.” If she’s ready to go back inside, remind her how she can handle the wait: “You can make a picture with the stickers we brought.” Otherwise, just get your food to go. But don’t frame it as a failure or punishment, says Dr. Kennedy-Moore. “Say, ‘We’ll eat at home, and you can try eating at the restaurant again another day,’ so you leave the door open for better behavior in the future.”

TH E F IX:

K I D S Ñ S o lut i o n s

Big Ideas for Small Spaces Living in tight quarters can be cozy and chic, and may bring your family closer together. I asked real parents for a peek inside their scaled-down homes. by L A U R A F E N T O N / photographs by W E S T O N W E L L S

son, and I share less than 700 square feet. Keeping it orderly requires daily dedication and discipline (especially with a 4-year-old!) but rewards us with fewer expenses and therefore greater financial freedom. We’re part of a larger trend: After years of a “bigger is better” mentality, families across the country are embracing smaller homes to save money, reside in the cities they love, and live more sustainably. Whether you’ve chosen to stay in a small space or find yourself in one just for now, advice from my new book, The Little Book of Living Small, will help you love every inch you’ve got.

Stack for Space No piece of furniture requires more square feet than a bed, so look for one that makes the best use of space, like a loft, storage, or Murphy bed.

Andrew Barkan and Polly Hall, who produce children’s music and podcasts as Andrew & Polly (@andrewandpolly), use this unusual stacked-bed setup for their kids, who share one of the two bedrooms in their Santa Monica, California, home. The elder child sleeps in the upper, custom-made bed; the younger one in the lower, made from IKEA components.

PA R E N T S

32 M A Y

2020

PHOTOGRAPHS FROM THE LITTLE BOOK OF LIVING SMALL, BY LAURA FENTON. REPRINTED BY PERMISSION OF GIBBS SMITH PUBLISHER.

M Y H U S B A N D,

K I D S Ñ S o lut i on s

Give Kids the Big Bedroom Left: This is a glimpse of our son’s room. It might sound crazy, but we gave him the larger of our two bedrooms so he could have more room to play. Some friends are surprised when they see our setup, but it keeps kid stuff mainly in one room, and my husband and I feel as if we have more adult zones overall.

Right: My family and me!

BE HOUSE-PROUD

When you have a small home, well-meaning friends and family sometimes ask you if you need or want more space, applying subtle pressure. But if you love the life you have, don’t take the bait. After all, in 1950, the average size of a new home was 983 square feet. In 2015, it peaked at 2,740 square feet. Not everyone needs all that!

QUICK TIPS F R O M S M A L L- H O M E FA M I L I E S

“Outsource space. Escape to the library, park, playground, or local coffee shop when you need a little breathing room.”

—Alison Mazurek @600sqftandababy •••

Use the Outdoors Above: Live in a warm climate?

Leverage your outdoor space. When the Barkan-Halls renovated their California home, they added a full wall of hinged glass doors that open up to a newly built deck they can use most of the year.

Right: The large kitchen window slides open over an outdoor countertop, giving the family another fun way to serve everyone. To stretch the season, you can use your own patio; consider adding an outdoor heater to warm up the spot.

PA R E N T S

34 M AY

2020

“Go vertical. We have tall bookshelves, a Murphy bed, and loft beds for our kids. All of these free up valuable floor space that the kids can use for playing and make it feel like we have more square feet.”

—Crystal Nielsen @crystalanninteriors_ ••• “New baby? My advice is to take a deep breath.

Your rooms will be overrun with gear. But don’t let today’s discomfort force you into paying more for a bigger home. The bouncy seat, high chair, and stroller will all disappear.

Eventually, your baby will sleep through the night and can share a room with a sibling.”

—Laura Fenton @laura.alice.fenton

© 2020 Bona US. All rights reserved.

Bona Clean™ means the memories last, not the messes.

Bona.com/bonaclean

quick & easy | streak-free | dries fast Bona® Hard-Surface Floor Cleaner is the most effective floor cleaner, and it’s simple to use - no mixing, no measuring, no mess.

It lifts and removes dust, dirt and grime leaving your floor clean and beautiful. Waterbased solutions safe for you and our planet.™

Recommended by Flooring Professionals Since 1919.

K I D S Ñ S o lut i on s

5 WAYS SMALL IS BIG

Less stress You’ll reduce the cost and work of having a home.

More time Less upkeep means devoting time to the things you love.

Savings Live small and chip away at debt faster, retire sooner, or travel more.

Squeeze In Storage Above: When I couldn’t find what I needed to fit the narrow spaces on either side of our bed, I had floating nightstands made by the Etsy vendor TimOBrienWoodworks.

Wall-mounted lights keep the tabletops clear.

We store our clothes in the bed’s built-in drawers and use small baskets under the nightstands as hampers.

Closeness Families that live in tighter quarters spend more time in each other’s presence and have lots of opportunities to bond.

Meaning When you are free of things you do not need or want, your home will be cozier and feel more personal.

Carve Out Niches With Furniture Above: When the Nielsen family moved from Salt Lake City to Manhattan for work, they invested in an Oeuf bunk bed ($1,590; oeufnyc.com) to create a cozy sleep spot for each child. Left: Professional organizer Shira Gill (@shiragill), of Berkeley, California, chose an L-shaped sofa to make efficient use of her living room. The bonus: It creates the illusion of a foyer across from the front door even though there isn’t one. The round coffee table has a small footprint, as does the backless settee at the far left, which offers additional seating for guests when they come over.

Author Laura Fenton’s The Little Book of Living Small profiles people, including families with children, who live in 1,200 square feet or less.

PA R E N T S

36 M A Y

2020

TODAY LET’S PAINT Because the previous owners had questionable taste.

We know painting isn’t always easy. But we also know you can do it with the help of BEHR MARQUEE®, America’s #1-rated interior paint.* So the only thing you have to worry about is bribing your friends with pizza. *According to a leading independent consumer publication.

Exclusively at

K I D SÑB a k i n g

SIMPLE CAKES T O S AV E E V E R Y D AY YUM!

We all know that cake belongs at milestone celebrations, but after having kids, I started using cakes to make blah days feel more special. Each of my three easy recipes takes less than a half hour of your time before the magic of the oven does the rest of the work.

by O D E T T E W I L L I A M S / photographs by L I N D A X I A O

A S LI C E O F homemade cake has the power to turn an average day into a happy one. (If I’ve persuaded you already with this opening manifesto, feel free to skip to the recipes.) Cake has come to my rescue while I was on lockdown with sick kids, needed a little self-care, or was putting together an impromptu celebration.

When my kids were young, the idea of baking was madness, considering that my family lived in a one-bedroom apartment with a tiny kitchen, and most days I was lucky if I showered. However, cake fueled and nurtured my spirits like no other food could. I baked recipes that demanded little but were still insanely delicious.

PA R E N T S

38 M A Y

2020

This laissez-faire approach to baking became my trademark, and my desire to share this attitude was one of the reasons I wrote my cookbook, Simple Cake.

I’m deeply suspicious of cakes that have too many bells and whistles. I believe there’s nothing more charming than seeing the evidence of the home baker’s touch. Lopsided is lovely.

Speaking of cakes having character, I’m often asked if I have advice for baking with kids. I joke that pandemonium is one of the ingredients. It requires the patience of a grandparent. Kids are going to make a mess, spill the vanilla, and lose interest halfway through. But think of your efforts

as a long-term investment. When my daughter, Opal, was a toddler, she used to putter around as I baked. Now that she’s 12, she can prepare most of my cakes by herself magnificently. (We’re still working on the cleanup.)

I encourage you to bake cakes when there’s something to celebrate and just because. A funny thing will happen with that recipe you make on repeat: It’ll become “Mom’s Homemade Cake.” You might not need written instructions, as the ingredients, measures, and steps will live in your muscle memory. And those new traditions? They’ll be what your kids remember fondly from their childhood.

You can dress up my lemon-ricotta cake with fresh berries for a special occasion, or dust it with confectioners’ sugar for weekday snacking. It’s not a cheesecake, nor a cake cake. It lives in between.

Lemon-Ricotta Bundt Cake For recipe, see page 44.

K I D SÑB a k i n g

Meet your new go-to cake—it comes together as easily as a boxed mix. No beaters are needed, just two bowls and a whisk.

Dust it with confectioners’ sugar and serve it with buttermilk whipped cream, or go to town with chocolate frosting when it’s birthday time.

No-Mixer Buttermik Cake

PIN THESE RECIPES! Scan this code with your phone’s camera (no app needed) to save these recipes onto your own Pinterest board.

PA R E N T S

40 M A Y

2020

FOOD STYLING BY MONICA PIERINI. PROP STYLING BY CARLA GONZALEZ-HART.

For recipe, see page 44.

It starts here.

The perfect bun. From a Sloppy Joe to a French Dip, your bun is the one ingredient that will make or break your burger, dog, or sandwich.

That’s why our bakers have been working tirelessly — tweaking recipes and adjusting batches to find the perfect indulgent combination of soft texture, subtle sweetness, and pure goodness.

and ends here.

Introducing Brioche Style Buns

naturesownrecipes.com

K I D SÑB a k i n g

I use cake flour in this good old-fashioned pound cake to make sure the texture is majestic. The chocolate swirl adds another flavor dimension.

Swirly Pound Cake Active Time 25 minutes Total Time 1 hour 30 minutes Makes 10 servings I N G R E DI E N T S 2 sticks unsalted butter, at room temperature, plus more for pan 11/3 cups cake flour 1 tsp. baking powder 1/2 tsp. kosher salt 1/2 cup sugar 11/2 tsp. pure vanilla extract 3 large eggs, at room temperature 1 14-oz. can sweetened condensed milk, divided 1 Tbs. unsweetened Dutchprocess cocoa powder 2 Tbs. hot water 1 cup heavy whipping cream MAKE IT

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease a 9x5-in. loaf pan with butter and line with parchment paper. Sift together cake flour, baking powder, and salt. Using an electric mixer on mediumto-high speed, beat butter, sugar, and vanilla until light in color and fluffy, 4 minutes.

2. Add eggs, one at a time, mixing after each addition.

Scrape down the sides, and continue to beat for 1 minute.

On low speed, gradually add the flour mixture. Then pour in ¾ cup condensed milk, and beat until the batter just becomes smooth.

3. Stir cocoa powder and hot water until dissolved. Pour 1 cup cake batter into a small bowl; stir in cocoa mixture.

4. Spoon batters into the prepared pan, alternating. Use a butter knife to make a zigzag pattern; avoid overdoing it (so colors stay distinct).

5. Bake until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, 55 to 65 minutes. Remove from pan, peel off parchment, and cool 90 minutes on a wire rack.

6. Up to an hour before serving, make whipped cream: Pour remaining condensed milk and the cream into a cold metal bowl. Whisk until it has doubled in volume and has pillowy soft peaks. Top each slice with whipped cream. Store extra cake in an airtight container at room temperature up to 4 days.

NUTRITION PER SERVING

PA R E N T S

42 M A Y

2020

(1 slice) 490 calories; 7g protein; 33g fat (20g sat. fat); 44g carbs; 0 fiber; 29g sugar; 2mg iron; 154mg calcium; 238mg sodium

K I D SÑB a k i n g

Active Time 20 minutes Total Time 1 hour Makes 24 servings I N G R E DI E N T S Salted butter, for pan 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour 11/2 cups granulated sugar 11/2 tsp. baking powder 11/2 tsp. baking soda 1/2 tsp. kosher salt 11/2 cups buttermilk, divided 2 large eggs, at room temperature 1/2 cup grapeseed or canola oil 3 Tbs. pure vanilla extract, divided 1/2 cup boiling water 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream 1/4 cup confectioners’ sugar MAKE IT

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease a 9x13-in. baking pan and line with parchment paper. Whisk together flour, granulated sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl. In a medium bowl, whisk together 1 cup buttermilk, eggs, oil, and 2 Tbs. vanilla.

2. Gradually add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and whisk until batter is smooth. Carefully pour in the boiling water and stir until combined.

5 Easy Ways to Make a Cake More Special Stencils Order a set with fun swirls, messages, or hearts (Magnoloran’s 15-pack of designs, $16; amazon.com). Place a design on top of your cooled cake. Dust with confectioners’ sugar or cocoa powder and carefully remove the stencil to reveal your design.

Sprinkles Shake on Wilton’s Dye Free Naturally Flavored Rainbow Confetti ($3; wilton.com) or Color Kitchen’s Rainbow Sprinkles ($6; colorkitchen foods.com).

Flowers A sprig of flowering herbs like chives or edible flowers looks so pretty on a bed of dusted confectioners’ sugar or a simple glaze.

Special candles

3. Pour batter into the prepared pan. Bake until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean and cake bounces back when lightly pressed, 30 to 35 minutes.

A single beeswax candle or a cake with a bunch can cast a spell.

Pick up a multicolored pack of ten ($5; bellalunatoys.com).

4. Transfer cake to a wire rack; let cool for 10 minutes.

Invert the cake, peel off the parchment paper, and let cool completely.

cars, or whatever your kid adores can double as a cake topper and a birthday gift.

Toys Wooden dinos,

Lemon-Ricotta Bundt Cake Active Time 20 minutes Total Time 1 hour 30 minutes Makes 16 servings I N G R E DI E N T S 11/2 sticks unsalted butter, at room temperature, plus more for pan 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for pan 1 Tbs. baking powder 11/2 tsp. kosher salt 1/2 tsp. baking soda 11/2 cups granulated sugar 4 tsp. lemon zest, plus 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice 11/2 tsp. pure vanilla extract 5 large eggs, at room temperature 11/2 cups whole-milk ricotta cheese 2 cups blueberries Confectioners’ sugar, for dusting MAKE IT

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease and flour a 10-cup Bundt pan. Whisk flour, baking powder, salt, and baking soda in a large bowl.

2. Using an electric mixer on medium-to-high speed, beat granulated sugar, butter, lemon zest, and vanilla in another bowl until fluffy, about 4 minutes. Add the eggs one at a time. Scrape down the sides, and continue to beat for 1 minute.

3. On low speed, gradually add flour mixture. Then add ricotta and lemon juice, and beat until the batter is smooth; don’t overmix.

Fold in blueberries.

4. Transfer batter to the prepared pan. Bake until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, about 1 hour.

5. Up to an hour before serving the cake, make the whipped cream: Pour remaining ½ cup buttermilk and the heavy cream, remaining 1 Tbs. vanilla, and confectioners’ sugar into a cold large metal bowl.

Whisk until it has doubled in volume and has soft peaks.

Place cupcake wrappers in two 12-cup muffin tins. Fill each two-thirds full. Bake until golden, 15 to 18 minutes.

Cool in pan for 5 minutes on a wire rack. Remove from the pan and cool completely.

Makes 24.

6. To serve, top each piece of cake with whipped cream. Store cake in an airtight container at room temperature up to 4 days.

NUTRITION PER SERVING

NUTRITION PER SERVING

(1 piece or 1 cupcake) 176 calories; 3g protein; 8g fat (2g sat. fat); 24g carbs; 0 fiber; 15g sugar; 1mg iron; 47mg calcium; 185mg sodium

(1 slice) 297 calories; 6g protein; 13g fat (8g sat. fat); 39g carbs; 1g fiber; 22g sugar; 1mg iron; 115mg calcium; 398mg sodium

PA R E N T S

44 M AY

2020

Make Cupcakes Instead

5. Cool cake in pan on wire rack for 15 minutes. Remove from pan; cool completely.

Dust with confectioners’ sugar.

Store cake in an airtight container in the refrigerator up to 4 days.

ARIFARIF/THE NOUN PROJECT.

No-Mixer Buttermilk Cake

K I D S Ñ I n s t a E at s

Add Veggies to More Meals Registered dietitian Andrea Mathis has figured out how to persuade her sons to eat — and enjoy! —vegetables. Copy her hacks for quick weeknight-dinner inspiration. a s t o l d t o K A R A T H O M P S O N

MAKE IT MINI

WORK THEM INTO A CASSEROLE

Tortellini, chicken, and bacon are big hits in my house, so I used these ingredients as inspo for my casserole with brussels sprouts. I swear the kids don’t pick them out, probably because the sauce I make with garlic, half-andhalf, and Parmesan is so delish.

I bake it in a white ceramic dish ($30; williams-sonoma.com) that’s perfect to take to a potluck.

What my sons—CJ, 5, and Caden, 3—like to eat changes every day. If they refuse to try something, I don’t let it get to me; I just offer the dish in a different way.

I capitalize on their love of carbs and cheese and work less appealing foods into my recipes. @beautifuleatsandthings

F L OAT T H E I R S Q UA S H B OAT

S AY C H E E S E ( A N D G R E E N S )

I never cook quesadillas or grilled cheese without throwing in a few spinach leaves. The kids actually eat the greens because they’re stuck to the cheese.

If you need a more subtle add, try spreading on a tablespoon of mashed butternut squash or sweet potatoes and topping with orange cheddar cheese. Bonus points: Serve with a side of marinara sauce for dipping. Tomatoes count as a veggie.

PA R E N T S

46 M A Y

2020

T RY B R O C C O L I ALFRESCO

Eating outside definitely improves everyone’s mood. A couple of times a month, I make “snack dinners” in Bentgo lunch boxes ($25 and up; bentgo.com) and take them to our backyard or the park. I put raw broccoli florets in one of the compartments and fill the others with dip, cubed ham, and Colby Jack cheese.

Instead of traditional dough, I use zucchini as pizza “crust.” I cut it in half lengthwise, brush on marinara sauce, and sprinkle with shredded mozzarella cheese.

My kids top it with Hormel Pepperoni Minis ($4; target.com). Place on a baking sheet in the oven for 12 to 15 minutes at 375°F.

G ET TI P S O N I N STAG R AM!

Andrea Mathis is taking over ParentsÕ Instagram on April 14.

Scan this code with your phone’s camera to follow @parents so you don’t miss it (no app needed).

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: EYEWAVE/GETTY; COURTESY OF ANDREA MATHIS (2); ALASDAIRJAMES/GETTY; PETER ARDITO; COURTESY OF ANDREA MATHIS.

Chicken potpie from scratch on a weeknight isn’t going to happen at my house. Instead, I make it with crescent-roll dough and shape each piece inside a muffin cup, which cuts down on baking time.

And I swap in frozen mixed veggies for fresh; they have the same amount of nutrients and it’s more convenient. The kids love that they can eat the muffins with their hands.

K I D S Ñ Pe t s

Animal House!

Ethan, 7, and his cat, Jack, 14 weeks photograph by M E I TA O

“I want to save 100 cats.”

ETH A N BOASTS A B OU T HIS BEST BU D:

I play tag with Jack after school. He even tags me back by raising his paw.

2

If I went on vacation with him, I’d take him to the beach and bury him in the sand. I’d leave his head out so he could breathe.

3

If he had human clothes, he would wear a T-shirt and jeans.

4

Jack can sort of do magic.

He actually pulls coins out of my hair when I’m asleep and then hides them under the couch.

5

He sometimes licks me, and it means that he loves me. I’d do anything for him.

PA R E N T S

48 M A Y

2020

Rescued as a kitten in Bloomfield, New Jersey, where he was found under a car with the rest of his litter

WARDROBE STYLING BY SARAH CLARY FOR THE WALL GROUP. GROOMING BY SUMMER TRAN. PROP STYLING BY TRACY MORGAN. CHILD WRANGLING BY MELANIE SAWYER. ON ETHAN: SWEATER, THE ANIMALS OBSERVATORY. SHIRT, ROCKETS OF AWESOME.

1

PROTEIN ~ GRAIN-FREE HIGH

More MEAT for your dog’s wild side

Satisfy your dog’s natural instinct with meat-rich, high-protein BLUE Wilderness.™ Inspired by the diet of wolves, Wilderness is made with more of the meat your dog loves and features high-quality, healthy ingredients.

©2020 Blue Buffalo Co., Ltd.

Love them like family. Feed them like family.®

MEAT-RICH ~ HIGH PROTEIN

Nourish your skin with our moisturizing solid* while you shave in one hassle-free step.

*Moisturizes during shaving

TEND TO YO U R S E LF, B O DY AND SOUL

INFLUE NC E R B E AUT Y IN S PO _ _ _ S E L F - C A R E B O DY P R O D U C T S _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ H E A D A C H E H E L P_ _ _

WARDROBE STYLING BY CONNIE BERG FOR ATELIER MANAGEMENT. HAIRSTYLING BY GIANLUCA MANDELLI FOR ART DEPARTMENT. MAKEUP BY DANIELA GOLZAN. PROP AND SET STYLING BY HELEN CROWTHER. CHILD WRANGLING BY JACQUI ROWLEY. ON KAROLÍNA: DRESS, ZIMMERMANN. EARRINGS, DEZSO BY SARA BELTRÁN. BRACELETS, CARTIER AND SHASHI. RINGS, GRAZIELLA GEMS. ON NOAH: SHIRT, J.CREW. SHORTS, MAISON ME. ON TOBIN: SHIRT, ZARA. SHORTS, TRUNKS.

Supermodel, Super Mama!

Her cheekbones may be otherworldly, but Karolína Kurková’s mom life is down-to-earth, from her parenting style (everything in moderation) to her makeup routine (pretty minimal).

by K AT E S A N D OVA L B OX photographs by M E I TA O

B OY M O M K U R KOVÁ I N MIAMI WITH NOAH, 4, AND TOBIN, 10

PA R E N T S

51 M A Y

2020

YO U Ñ R e a l Ta l k

Kurková’s Three-Minute Makeup Routine 1

“My eyebrows are fair, so I apply Anastasia Beverly Hills Tinted Brow Gel to define them.”

2

“I blend a Chanel bronzer on my cheeks to warm up my skin.”

3

Her short answer was yes. Kurková had just attended a star-studded Oscar party in Los Angeles. She’d had her hair and makeup done and worn a stunning designer dress and diamond jewelry. In fact, before we could continue our chat, we were briefly interrupted by a security guard coming to collect the borrowed jewels. Once he’d left, Kurková launched into a story about why she’d created a chore chart for her boys: “I do so much around the house. I’m vacuuming, cleaning dishes, treating stains on clothes, picking up after everyone. In an effort to encourage the boys to help, I explained that if they joined me we’d be done quicker and then we could have fun together.” Yup, sounds like a lot of moms out there. Here’s what else she shared that’s relatable:

I F V I C T O R I A’ S S E C R E T

was anywhere on your radar in the 2000s, you may remember Karolína Kurková smiling confidently from the catalog cover and power strutting down the fashion-show runway—in a diamond-encrusted bra, no less. It’s also likely you’ve seen her on magazine covers (like this one, right now) and in ads for everything from luxury watches to strollers. (In fact, she’s a collaborator for the baby-gear brand CYBEX.) Kurková was only 17 when she moved to the U.S. from her home in the Czech Republic to work. And while she’s never stopped, now that she’s 36, she’s

PA R E N T S

52 M A Y

2020

added more roles to her life: She cofounded the child-friendly wellness brand Gryph & IvyRose, and with husband Archie Drury, she’s raising Tobin, 10, and Noah, 4.

Kurková has also accrued a sizable social-media following and, to the surprise of probably no one, often looks pixel-perfect on her Instagram feed. On that front, I was primed to ask questions about her general beauty routine and selfie skills. But the first question that I, Parents’ beauty editor and also a mom of two, found myself blurting out was, “Isn’t it crazy to go from glam photo shoots to dishes and runny noses?”

Crossing one thing off the to-do list is a win.

“Sometimes I’m completely off schedule and feel like I can’t get anything done,” Kurková says. When that happens, she focuses on one task for the day. “Then I can think, for instance, ‘At least I ordered the birthday cake!’ Tomorrow I’ll do the next thing.”

Self-care boosts mom energy.

“Being a mom stops you from focusing on yourself,” Kurková says. “I love that I’m part of something bigger. But at the same time, I have to carve out little moments for me too. Working out or getting my hair colored or taking a class is the way I feel energized and inspired.”

It’s good to share kids’ passions.

There’s a six-year age gap between Kurková’s sons, so she’s always in two

THIS PAGE: SHIRT, SANDRO. SHORTS, DEREK LAM 10 CROSBY. HAT, STEVE MADDEN. NECKLACES AND BRACELETS, SHASHI. OPPOSITE, ON KAROLÍ NA: PANTS, SEA. SANDALS, DA COSTANZO CAPRI. NECKLACES AND THIN BRACELETS, SHASHI. LINK BRACELET, CARTIER. RINGS, GRAZIELLA GEMS.

“A swipe of red lipstick, from Chanel or MAC, is my must-have.

The pop of color is feminine.”

“I love that I’m part of something bigger,” Kurková says of her job raising two kids.

YO U Ñ R e a l Ta l k

Wellness is more fun as a family affair.

“I want to teach my boys healthy habits, so I get them involved in the kitchen. Tobin can now make pasta and chicken fingers for himself, his brother, and his friends.

I can see how empowered he feels,” Kurková says.

At the Gryph & IvyRose offices, she helps develop products that she can use with the boys; the brand has tinctures for stomachaches, sleep, and mood. “I explain that these formulas are based on traditional Eastern medicine that’s been around for thousands of years,” she says. very different parenting stages.

“My 4-year-old is learning about his emotions, while my 10-year-old is thinking about how he looks, his body, and what other people think of him,” she says. To connect with her eldest, she has to keep up with what preteens are doing.

“Tobin’s friends have been filming TikTok dances, so they come over to our house and I join in,” Kurková says. “It’s actually fun, but the real reason I’m doing it is because I want to understand what’s going on in his life these days.

That way I can help if he needs me.”

She loves what she learned growing up in the Czech Republic.

“I try to pass down some of my family’s values, like having polite manners and sitting down for dinner together. But I was also taught to be independent.”

Your kids may not care about makeup—but you still can.

“I wear so little makeup at home that if I put on mascara, Noah notices and asks,

PA R E N T S

54 M AY

2020

Skin care is worth prioritizing.

“I love sheet masks; they’re such an easy way to get an at-home facial. I’ll leave one on for 15 minutes while I’m making breakfast or before I go to bed. Even faster is splashing my face with ice-cold water,” Kurková says. “I don’t smoke, I’m not a big drinker, and I eat fresh foods. I think those three things have helped to keep my skin healthy.”

She says acupuncture and cupping treatments help her relieve stress and increase circulation. “They give my skin a glow, but they also recharge me,” she says. And if she needs to reboot her mama superpowers at home? “When I’m with the kids and dragging, I spritz on Caudalíe Paris Beauty Elixer, a facial mist, and feel alive again.”

She really does have a good selfie-taking tip.

“Hand your phone to your kids! They take the freshest, coolest, most natural photos,” Kurková says. “And they won’t let you overthink it.”

PAR ENTSÕ LIGHTNING ROUND LIFE IN MIAMI M E A N S . . .

We get to be outdoors every day and enjoy nature and play pickleball.

SUNSCREEN SECRET

Teach kids to do it themselves. Stick sunscreen helps!

T O B I N I S I N T O . . .

History and deejays and music

by Beethoven N O A H I S I N T O . . .

You can balance screen time with playtime.

“My rule is, for every hour they spend watching a screen, they have to spend an

‘Mommy, where are you going?’ In fact, the last time I did it he told me that it looked ugly, because he didn’t want me to go to my event!” Tobin is no fan either.

“He saw me in makeup the other day and said, ‘What is that on your face? Wash it off, Mom!’ He was being so protective,” she says. But she does regularly wear color on her lips and cheeks.

Learning and cooking B E I N G A B OY M O M M E A N S . . .

You will be loved forever.

I D E A L D AT E N I G H T

Connecting and talking about our dreams and goals over a meal and a drink W E L L N E S S S TA R S H O U T- O U T

Gryph & IvyRose Chocolate Hearts probiotics for kids and adults—treats with benefits!

M OV I E T H E W H O L E FA M L I K E S

DRINK OF CHOICE AT T H E O F F I C E

My matcha latte I make myself

Home Alone

YO U R O W N M O M ’ S B E AUT Y S EC RET

H E E L S O R F L AT S ?

Being silly and letting go with laughter

I need both :) VA C AT I O N S P O T

Six Senses Kaplankaya, in Turkey, where the sun is shining, music is playing, and good food is served

MES SAGE FOR MOMS E V E RY W H E R E

Life is like riding a bicycle.

To keep your balance, you must keep moving.

TOP LEFT: ROMPER, DEREK LAM 10 CROSBY; EARRINGS, ROSANTICA; NECKLACE, DEZSO BY SARA BELTRÁN; LINK BRACELET, CARTIER; THIN BRACELETS, SHASHI; RINGS, GRAZIELLA GEMS; BLANKET, HERRON STUDIOS. BOTTOM RIGHT, VITAMINS: COURTESY OF THE BRAND; LATTE: BAIBAZ/GETTY.

hour doing something outdoors. We live in Miami, so it’s easy to send them outside for some fresh air or a bike ride or to collect some shells on the beach.”

YO U Ñ B e aut y

Power-Mom Beauty Routines Sure, a good Instagram filter goes a long way. But these influencers also rely on great products to help them get (and stay) glowing all day long.

by K R I S TA B E N N E T T D E M A I O

Laura Mercier Tinted Moisturizer Natural Skin Perfector in Cacao ($47; sephora.com) “I don’t wear foundation, but I do love this tinted moisturizer because of its buildable coverage and dewy finish.”

Nyakio Grieco

“I love the idea of dry shampoos between washes, but I’ve found spray conditioners work even better on my dry hair.”

@nyakio

Ever since she became a mom, Grieco—the namesake founder of the Nyakio skin-care line—has been drawn to beauty products that are clean and simple.

“It became even more important to me to read labels and know what I’m putting on my skin,” says the mother of two. Keeping skin hydrated has become another big focus, with her daily regimen revolving around cleansing balms, facial oils, and tinted moisturizers. “As we

PA R E N T S

56 M A Y

2020

age, our skin loses natural oils,” she says.

“To keep skin supple, we need to put oils back into our skin.”

She gets an assist from friend and celebrity aesthetician Shani Darden. “I’m 46 and I’ve had no invasive procedures,” Grieco explains. “Getting facials helps me stay natural.” And being zealous about skin care, she says, has saved her time over the long haul: “I can get away with wearing very little makeup.”

Coola Classic Face Sunscreen SPF 50 ($32; sephora.com)

By/Rosie Jane Cheek + Lip Balm in Poppy ($22; byrosiejane.com)

Nyakio Kenyan Coffee Face Polish ($32; target.com)

“I wear sunscreen every single day. Most look purple on my skin, but this one doesn’t.”

“I tap this on the apples of my cheeks.

The pop of color wakes up my skin tone instantly, but because it’s sheer, it’s not overstated.”

“It’s based on a recipe from my grandmother, who was a Kenyan coffee farmer. She used crushed coffee beans, oil, and sugarcane to exfoliate. I use it three times a week.”

GRIECO: JIMI ROBINSON. LAURA MERCIER AND BY/ROSIE JANE: JEFFREY WESTBROOK. ALL OTHERS: COURTESY OF THE BRANDS.

Drybar Detox Dry Conditioner ($23; thedrybar.com)

VISIBLY HEALS SIGNS OF SEVERE HAIR DAMAGE NEXXUS KERAPHIX SALON CRAFTED WITH KERATIN PROTEIN AND BLACK RICE

Discover our first-ever healing system for damaged hair with Keratin Protein and Black Rice that relieves roughness and brittleness, restoring and strengthening your hair from within so you can keep the look you can’t live without.

NEXXUS.COM/KERAPHIX

YO U Ñ B e aut y

Jessi Malay @jessimalay

Kimberly Snyder @_kimberlysnyder The beauty routine of this celebrity nutritionist and author comes with a side of wellness. Snyder, mom of a toddler boy and with a baby on the way, considers her green smoothies and probiotic supplements a crucial part of her daily regimen. “They’re some of the best antiagers; skin reflects so much of what’s going on inside our bodies,” she says. Her detox approach goes for skin care too. “Our skin ages from pollution,” Snyder says. “It’s

important to take a minute or two to wash properly at night.”

Once a week, she whips up a fresh papaya and raw honey mask to exfoliate (she swears by the power of the fruit enzymes). As for makeup: “If my lips are glossy, I feel put together. I stash lip gloss in my car and my diaper bag,” she says. And microblading, a semipermanent tattoo procedure for eyebrows, has made such a difference. “I still touch them up, but the basic shape is there.”

Malay’s Instagram feed tends to be a stream of flawless skin and perfect wavy hair—plus appearances from her adorable 1-year-old daughter. But Malay says she’s only bombshellmom part of the time. “I have that high-maintenance version of myself: the blowout, the foundation, the full-on eye makeup,” she says. “Then I have the quick, low-maintenance mom version: just concealer and mascara and a low bun.”

And like most parents of a young

toddler, Malay sees signs of momhood in her skin. “I’ve noticed it looks a little more dehydrated, probably from lack of sleep,” she says. To help, she does monthly facials with red light therapy, which can have antiaging benefits and help calm inflammation.

On off-camera days, she puts the effort into her eyes: “Concealer is absolutely necessary,” Malay says, and winged liner and mascara are “the quickest ways to make eyes pop.”

“This contains a potent form of vitamin C that helps brighten skin and repair sun damage.”

Vapour Beauty Aura Multi Stick in Courtesan ($36; vapourbeauty.com) “I use this on my cheeks for a rosy glow. It blends in so well and takes only two seconds to apply.”

Ayurveda Pura London Organic Holistic Essentials Radiance Rose Water ($22; ayurvedapura.com)

“It’s important to deep clean your hair from all the product and gunk. I use this once a month.”

58 M A Y

2020

“I have been lusting over this charcoal primer. It’s really mattifying and keeps my skin from getting oily throughout the day.”

“When my makeup needs a refresh or my skin feels dry, I spritz this.”

SheaMoisture African Water Mint & Ginger Detox & Refresh Hair & Scalp Gentle Shampoo ($12; drugstores)

PA R E N T S

Smith & Cult Blackdrop Charcoal Brightening Primer ($32; ulta.com)

L’Oréal Paris Infallible Up to 24HR Fresh Wear Foundation in Golden Beige ($15; drugstores) “This lasts all day, but it doesn’t feel heavy on your skin the way most long-wear foundations do.”

Stila Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Eye Liner in Intense Black ($22; sephora.com) “Once it’s on, it truly doesn’t move, and it never irritates my eyes.”

Hot Tools Signature Series Salon Gold 1.5-inch Curling Iron ($40; hottools.com) “I wrap the hair around the barrel, so my waves look tousled rather than ringlet-y.”

SNYDER: VICTORIA WALL HARRIS. MALAY: GABRIEL SANTIAGO @SHOTBYG. SOLLUNA, L’ORÉAL, AND SMITH & CULT: JEFFREY WESTBROOK. ALL OTHERS: COURTESY OF THE BRANDS.

Solluna By Kimberly Snyder Feel Good Vitamin C Serum ($56; shop .mysolluna.com)

YO U Ñ B e aut y

Kathlyn Celeste

“I apply it to my ring finger, then tap it on my cheekbones.”

Mented Cosmetics Matte Lipstick in Dark Night ($18; mentedcosmetics.com) “My all-time favorite brown lipstick!

This formula stays matte all day long without getting dry.”

@kathlynceleste

In her online world as an influencer and blogger, Celeste shares snapshots of life with her husband and sons (ages 4 and 6) as well as loads of beauty advice. “I’m a budgetconscious mom; I rarely buy anything without a coupon, and I love so many drugstore products,” she says.

Perfecting her skin, which is prone to breakouts and dark spots, is a top priority for her makeup routine.

“If my skin looks good, then I can get away with just highlighter, brows, and lashes,” she says. And by lashes, she means the faux kind. “I have like eight eyelashes total—no mascara is going to

PA R E N T S

60 M A Y

2020

help me,” she says. Her application hack: “Instead of putting the eyelash glue on the strip of lashes, I brush it directly onto my lashline as if it were eyeliner, then attach the lashes. I swear they stay put through chasing my kids, sweating, and even crying.” Celeste is also known for her gorgeous curls. To revive them and control frizz throughout the day, she mists her hair with a mixture of water, essential oils, and leave-in conditioner.

“This combo helps control the baby hairs around my hairline,” she says. “If I don’t lay those down, it looks like I just rolled out of bed.”

It Cosmetics CC+ Color Correcting Full Coverage Cream SPF 50+ in Rich ($39.50; ulta.com) “I love that it’s not just makeup, it’s skin care and SPF 50!

If I only have a few minutes before getting the kids out the door, I use this and my skin is good to go.”

OleHenriksen Truth Banana Bright Eye Crème ($39; sephora.com) “I’ll stay up working until two in the morning.

This brightens up my eye area all day.”

Benefit Precisely, My Brow Pencil in No. 3 ($24; sephora.com) GO BEHIND THE SCENES Scan this code with your phone’s camera to see more of Jessi Malay’s beauty routine on ParentsÕ Instagram (no app needed).

“Since being a mom, I have no time to get my brows threaded.

I use this, then clean up around them with concealer. It looks like I just got them done.”

CELESTE: ASHA BAILEY. OLEHENRIKSEN: IT COSMETICS. MENTED: JEFFREY WESTBROOK. ALL OTHERS: COURTESY OF THE BRANDS.

ELF Cosmetics Beautifully Bare Highlighting Stick in Champagne Glam ($4; drugstores)

YO U Ñ S e l f- C a r e

B E AUT Y WH I LE MOMMING

Skin Care for Mama Bods Having kids actually gave me more physical confidence. And a few good products help me show that off.

by K AT E S A N D OVA L B OX / photographs by J E F F R E Y W E S T B R O O K I’m feeling this short-shorts season.

Sel ftanning?

T he m it t

AT T H E M O M E N T,

Sunscreen, Always The sun’s UV rays are the number-one cause of wrinkles, dark spots, and skin cancer, so I’m hypervigilant about protecting myself from them. I love gliding Supergoop! Glow Stick Sunscreen SPF 50 ($25; supergoop.com)

SUN-SAFE CLOTHES Scan this code with your phone’s camera to shop UPF clothing options for women (no app needed).

PA R E N T S

64 M A Y

2020

i s ke

y.

A Hint of Tint for Special Events St. Tropez Self Tan Purity Vitamins Bronzing Water Mist ($42; sephora.com)

offers a surprisingly realistic bronze color. The trick is to blend it using a self-tanning mitt ($6; sephora.com) to avoid ending up with surprise streaks.

Body Acne, Banished A surefire way to get a pimple on my back is to spend the day in sweaty workout clothes. A hormonal shift or stress can spur a body breakout too.

When it happens, I use a salicylic-acid wash, such as Neutrogena Body Clear Body Wash ($10; drugstores), in the shower each day until it clears.

The e” “ bacn t i on solu

Hair Removal in Two Steps Years ago, I had laser hair removal on my legs and arms, but some of the hair has grown back. So I use a five-blade razor like the Joy razor ($9; walmart .com) to clean up my legs, arms, armpits, and bikini line. Then about once a week, I trim the rest of my bikini area. Try the Panasonic Bikini Shaper and Trimmer ($18; drugstores). Set the guard on the closest setting to remove most of the hair painlessly and quickly.

Balm for Everything I reach for Vaseline All-Over Body Balm Jelly Stick ($6; drugstores) to soften my dry elbows, prevent blisters, and stop thigh rub. Any parent can appreciate a multitasker!

TOP LEFT: COURTESY OF KATE SANDOVAL BOX.

I have a huge bruise on my side from bumping into one of my kid’s ginormous toys. And the skin on my knees seems to be perma-discolored from years of on-the-floor play. I also haven’t had a bikini wax in, let’s see, how old are my kids? But I have never had more body confidence than now.

Before I was a mom, a trip to the pool meant strategically draping myself across a lounge chair in a way that flattened my stomach and didn’t expose my cellulite.

Catch me at the pool now and I’m leaping in to splash around with my family.

The tummy and cellulite haven’t gone away—but my nagging thoughts about them have been bumped aside for shriek-filled games of “Marco Polo.” Of course, I still want to take care of myself.

More than ever, I’m motivated to really look after this body—for myself and for my kids. Here’s my go-to routine.

onto my exposed skin. It leaves a clear sheen but keeps my palms slip-free so I can hold on to babies and strollers.

TIME OUTSIDE MEANS FUN TIME! KEEP THE FUN GOING WITH PROTECTION YOU CAN TRUST – BANANA BOAT SUNSCREEN LASTS AS LONG AS THE FUN DOES.

YO U Ñ H e a lt h

How Medical Experts Prevent Headaches Doctors and nurses usually don’t have time to lie down in the middle of the day—and neither do you. These are the simple routines they swear by to stave off the pain.

by A N D R E A B A R B A L I C H

PA R E N T S

66 M A Y

2020

You may be so focused on avoiding your kid’s hangry moments that you ignore your own stomach. Skipping meals is a surefire headache trigger for Vineet Arora, M.D., an internist at The University of Chicago and mom of one, but a challenge to avoid since she often works through lunch.

(Sound familiar?) Now she sets a 15-minute appointment on her calendar for a quick cafeteria break.

John Paul Tutela, M.D., a plastic surgeon in New York City and Livingston, New Jersey, and dad of two, relies on high-protein snacks that leave him feeling fuller for longer. He stocks his work fridge with almond butter, yogurt, and cottage cheese.

If you’re short on time in the morning, skip making a decision about what to eat for breakfast by having the same thing every day. For Catherine Schuster, M.D., a pediatric physiatrist at the University of Louisville and mom of two, that’s a cup of coffee and an English muffin with crunchy peanut butter.

Staying hydrated is also crucial. Laura Xanders, a nurse-practitioner at the MedStar Georgetown University Hospital Headache Center, in Bethesda, Maryland, and mom of two, carries a 20-ounce bottle of water with her and refills it four times a day. “If I haven’t refilled it twice by the afternoon, I know I need to drink more,” she says.

Wine (especially red wine) can bring on headaches, too, though experts don’t know exactly why. The effects of caffeine are a bit less clear-cut. Its impact on your brain depends on how much you drink, according to the

JAMES LIGHTBOWN/GALLERY STOCK.

Automate Food Decisions

YO U Ñ H e a lt h

“I used to sleep later on the weekends to make up for lost sleep during the week,” says Ernest Isaacson, D.P.M., a podiatrist and dad of seven in New York City.

“But that made me more likely to wake up with a headache.” Now his weekend alarm looks similar to his weekday one of 5:15 a .m.—he’s up at 5:30 a .m. on Saturdays and 6:30 a .m. on Sundays.

Tweak Your Sleep Routine We know what you’re thinking: “If I could get more sleep, don’t you think I would?”

But disrupted sleep, specifically a late bedtime or a middle-of-the-night wake-up, is a trigger for many headache sufferers.

Xanders used to stay up long after her kids fell asleep to tackle a list of chores, but that often left her with a next-day headache. To avoid this “second shift” of housework, Xanders, who gets migraine with aura, now creates a detailed to-do list at the beginning of the week and schedules only one or two projects each

night. The payoff: consistent sleep and fewer headaches.

For Dr. Schuster, wake-ups in the wee hours set off her headaches. “My husband and I decided that he’d handle the kids if they got up between 10 p.m. and 2 a .m., and I’d deal with earlymorning risers,” she explains.

If you do get up at night, don’t look at your phone. The bright light can wreak havoc on your sleep cycle, says Dr. Arora.

Keep your phone across the room—or out of it altogether.

For some, too much (rather than too little) sleep can cause a throbbing head.

WHEN YOU HAVE SENSITIVE SKIN YOUR CLOTHES CAN TURN ON YOU

Try ARM & HAMMER™ Sensitive Skin Free & Clear detergent–no dyes, no perfumes, just clean.

Because every wash counts.

Escape to the Gym (Without Guilt) Exercising can reduce the intensity and frequency of headache attacks, according to the American Headache Foundation.

Xanders gets half as many if she works out routinely. “I work out at least four days a week by getting up before the kids, dropping them off earlier at day care, or going during their naptime on the weekends,” she says. She switches up her routine by running with her dog or on the treadmill, rowing, using weights, or doing yoga or barre. “I have an internal struggle to prioritize myself instead of

STUDIO FIRMA/STOCKSY.

American Migraine Foundation. Sipping too much can trigger headaches, but the same goes for cutting it out completely.

Dr. Arora, who gets a migraine about once a month, stopped drinking coffee when she was pregnant, but the withdrawal made her symptoms more severe. “Now I only have one cup in the morning and none after lunch,” she says.

having breakfast with the kids or being there if they wake up,” Xanders says.

“But it really does make me more present the rest of the time I’m with them.”

Dr. Tutela’s tension headaches typically come on when he doesn’t take an activity break. “When I exercise regularly, I feel more even-keeled all around,” he says. If his workout is going to overlap with time with his kids, he combines them. “We go on hikes and have a snack at the lookout,” he says. “If we don’t have time for that, we go for a walk or chase each other around the house.” Any activity counts!

Give Yourself a Prescription to Chill For Xanders, more stress means more headaches, so she uses her days off to tackle her biggest anxiety inducers: grocery shopping, meal prep, and laundry.

“If I can’t finish everything, I’ve realized that it’s not the end of the world,” she says. “A healthy and happy family—and a migraine-free mom—is most important.”

How to Mom When Your Head Hurts Kids don’t stop, even if you need to.

Keep them entertained while you’re down for the count with these parent-tested strategies.

Be prepared with activities.

Tuck away toys that your kids don’t usually play with so you can pull them out when a headache strikes. The novelty will keep them distracted. For a baby or a toddler, try Laura Xanders’s strategy for her 1-year-old: “I set up safety gates, put out lots of toys, and lie next to him as he plays.”

Forget about screen-time limits.

When Dr. Vineet Arora gets a headache, she needs a dark, quiet room. “We don’t usually have a lot of screen time, but to be kind to myself, I let my daughter watch TV,” she says. “I go into my bedroom and she’s in the next one, so I can hear if she needs anything.” Don’t beat yourself up for bending the rules. “All you need to do in those moments is keep your child safe and do the best you can,” she says.

Slide on sunglasses.

If Aimee Moulin, M.D., an emergencyroom doctor at the University of California, Davis, can’t head off a headache and her daughter has a soccer game, she’ll wear a dark pair of sunglasses and a baseball cap, take meds, and sit on the sidelines with her eyes closed. (No one can tell!) “I’m still there for my kid, because that’s what parents do,” she says, adding that she knows the better strategy would be to go home and take a nap. “We kill ourselves to be on the sidelines, but it’s okay to take care of yourself.”

Ask for help. (Really.)

“When people say, ‘Is there anything I can do for you?’ they mean it, so I’ve learned to accept their offers,” says Dr. Catherine Schuster. She now asks her mom to help with the kids when she isn’t feeling well—which she wouldn’t have done two years ago. She’ll also text a neighbor, “Can we come over to play?” or “Does your daughter want to spend the afternoon here?” This way, the kids can keep each other occupied.

YO U ÑT h e H e a r t o f P a r e nt i n g

A Birth Story I Never Expected My son’s delivery almost went awry , and I barely grasped what happened until years later.

It turns out that being in the dark about your own labor is not uncommon.

by O L I V I A C A M P B E L L / illustration by A N N E B E N T L E Y “ R E L A X ,”

Nurse Kelly says again. She places a pillow in my lap and tells me to flop forward onto it. I don’t have much of a lap left; I’m a week past my due date. My legs dangle over the side of the hospital bed as Kelly splays open the back of my gown.

I can’t relax, despite her encouragement.

As the anesthesiologist’s needle pierces my back, my shoulders are tensed up to my ears. When it’s done, I lean back gingerly and exhale, hopeful that relief from 13 hours of pain will soon take hold.

PA R E N T S

70 M A Y

2020

And then every monitor begins beeping.

I see my mother’s tired but reassuring smile turn into a look of concern. A tide of medical professionals crests against my hospital bed. I’m lying down, looking up, my world now confined to a circle of faces. Doctors, nurses, my mother. She squeezes my hand.

It’s 1:41 p.m., and I am still nine hours away from giving birth to my first child.

My husband isn’t here. After a cervical check revealed I was likely still many

hours from delivering, he went home to take a nap, with assurances that he would return before the big finale.

Despite attending Lamaze class with me every week, he hadn’t turned out to be much help when push came to shove, so to speak. He is young: 23. We are young.

This pregnancy wasn’t planned. I’m still in college. We got married five months ago.

Shocked by my anguish during labor and paralyzed by his powerlessness to alleviate it, he has awkwardly receded into the background over the course of the day. And so, as I swiveled on a yoga ball or rocked in the hospital’s rocking chair, half delirious with fatigue, it’s been my mother’s shoulders I’ve held. It’s been her ears I’ve groaned into during contractions.

I put so much time and effort into choosing an obstetrician: consulting friends, reading reviews, posting on mommy message boards. My prenatal care has been compassionate and attentive, but the doctor from my practice who was on call when I was admitted to the hospital is a man I’ve met only once.

Throughout my stay, he has seemed to swan in occasionally to check my cervix and give orders to the nurse. When he announces the possibility of a cesarean, it’s Nurse Kelly who forcefully insists that I’m progressing fine for a first-time delivery. She is the one there for me when I need her. And right now, I really need her.

Something has just gone wrong, though no one has told me. Only many years later can I piece together exactly what happened, with the help of the medical team’s notes in my chart. I requested this chart recently—I had to pay for it, as is common practice, even though it is information that belongs to me—because I was eager to understand something that had always eluded me: Had I, had my baby, come close to dying that day? For years, all I knew was that I’d had “a bad reaction” to my epidural.

That wasn’t enough. I wanted to know more. So, even though I’m not a medical professional, I pored over my chart, looked up every term, and researched everything that had happened to me and to my son, because no one had ever bothered to tell me.

Patient just laid down after epidural placed. Pulse down to 80’s.

All the fun of Goldfish now comes with the goodness of 1/3 serving of vegetables. ®

Introducing Goldfish Veggie Crackers. ®

The Snack That Smiles Back

®

YO U ÑT h e H e a r t o f P a r e nt i n g

My baby’s pulse, not mine. His 80 beats per minute is paltry; normal is around 140. A fetal heart rate this low can result in death in as little as three minutes.

Abdomen noted to be hypertonic. Pit stopped. BP 90’s/40’s.

A hypertonic abdomen means I’m experiencing an unending contraction of the uterus. My belly is rock-hard, its continuously tensing muscles squeezing my son and restricting his blood flow, causing his heart rate to drop. “Pit” is short for Pitocin, the drug used to intensify contractions and speed up labor.

The hypertonia is likely a side effect.

I don’t recall being asked if I wanted Pitocin. I doubt it was presented as a choice. I remember the doctor simply declaring that I was not progressing fast enough, and so it would now be administered. Up until this Pitocin hurryup, my labor pain had been manageable.

The drug has made my contractions unbearable, torturous. The drug was what led to my epidural request. Can prolonged labor be dangerous? Sure. But so can a cascade of medical interventions, particularly those that can endanger both mother and baby.

Because at that moment, the epidural begins to cause my blood pressure to plummet. My typical pressure readings hovered around 110s over 60s during pregnancy, so a dip to 90s over 40s is significant. A drop that size can cause dizziness and fainting. If blood pressure remains that low, the brain and other organs will fail to receive an adequately oxygen-rich blood supply. The result can be death.

As it turns out, a dip in blood pressure is a somewhat common side effect of an epidural; it occurs in roughly 14 percent of patients. No one told me this—not my doctor, certainly—and no one told me about the potential for Pitocininduced abdominal hypertonia. Had I known the risks, I might have turned it down. Had I known how painful Pitocin can make contractions, I would have categorically refused it.

O2 placed. Patient rolled to right sideÑleft side.

An oxygen mask is fitted over my nose and mouth, then the medical team struggles amid the wires, tubes, and my huge hard belly to tip me from my right

PA R E N T S

72 M A Y

2020

American Birth Story: A Special Report on Parents.com Pregnancy-related complications are astonishingly common in the U.S., and deaths related to childbirth have risen in recent decades.

According to last year’s CDC Vital Signs report, 700 women die each year because of such circumstances.

More than half of the deaths are preventable. The report also found that black and indigenous American women are up to three times as likely as white women to die from complications related to pregnancy. On April 10, we’ll launch a digital spotlight investigation into this crisis. Find it at parents.com/ americanbirthstory, or hover your phone’s camera over the smart code below (no app needed).

side to my left. No one explains why. I’ve become a passive object in the room, to which no one speaks.

Next, my hospital bed is tipped backward at a steep angle, my feet sent high in the air with my head nearly grazing the ground, as though I’m on a seesaw and my partner has just leapt off.

No one explains this either. I see drugs being injected into my IV and nurses staring at the vital-sign monitors. I don’t know which drugs. I don’t know what the nurses are looking for. Just as in every medical emergency portrayed on TV, my mother gets shunted aside in the flurry.

All I can see now are ladybugs.

The hospital’s ceiling is crawling with dozens of them, their little black spots mirroring the speckled ceiling tiles. I’m hallucinating because not enough oxygen is reaching my brain. Ladybugs are symbols of good luck.

Still hypertonic.

If I’m dying, it isn’t as scary as I’ve imagined; it’s almost serene. My vision blurs and my hearing goes fuzzy and the world continues to shrink. I’ve fainted before, but this is different. I’m fading, caving in on myself. It feels like when

you’re sure you’re moving backward but it’s actually that the train next to you is going forward. A stillness that feels like motion.

Terb given.

This is short for terbutaline, a drug used to open the airways of asthma patients. At the time, it was also used off-label to stop preterm labor, since it can relax uterine muscles. However, it increases heart rate and the potential for serious maternal heart problems, even death. In 2011, the FDA warned against its use in pregnant women. But it is 2007 and my heart needs a jump start, so that need outweighs the risks.

Decel lasted ~ 5 mins & return to baseline 145-150’s. Uterus soft. Will monitor closely.

Part of that close monitoring is the placement of a small clip attached to a wire (called a fetal scalp electrode) inside me on my baby’s head, to get a more accurate fetal heartbeat reading.

Meanwhile, I am slowly regaining consciousness. Light replaces darkness.

My world comes back into focus. My mother weeps.

When my husband returns a few hours later, refreshed, I tell him what little I know about what transpired in his absence: Something very bad happened, and though no one has said so, I sense that both I and the baby had been in real danger. He is dumbfounded and deeply apologetic for leaving.

Finally, it is time to push. I know this because I can feel it, because my epidural is beginning to wear off. After a very long hour, our son makes his entrance. Eight pounds 5 ounces of squishy pink wailing. My husband, not I, gets to soak in those first few magical moments of bonding. My agony continues as my doctor stitches up my third-degree sideways labial tear without anesthetic.

Our son is 12 now, his head coming up well past my shoulders. He has a little scar on the top of the back of his head where the scalp electrode was placed, a circle about the size of a ladybug where no hair grows. Whenever I see it, I’m reminded of how that day, instead of both of us dying, the coin flipped the other way. It doesn’t for everyone. But we were lucky. On that day, he was born, and I was reborn as a mother.

The first trash bag worthy of a smile.

New Glad Beachside Breeze

fig. 1

Happiness

Certain trademarks used under license from the Procter & Gamble Company or its affiliates.

Time

Meet the happiest trash bag.

With bright new colors and scents, plus dual-layer strength, it’s sure to put your trash in a better mood.

E N J OY

_ _ _ _ _ P L A N H A P P I E R VA C AT I O N S

THE JOURNEY

T H E Y E A R ’ S B E S T FA M I LY C A R S _ _ _ _ _

TOGETHER

M A K E - A H E A D B R E A K FA S T S

WARDROBE STYLING BY VERONICA ALVERICCI FOR ART DEPARTMENT. HAIRSTYLING BY TRACY MOYER FOR THE REX AGENCY. MAKEUP BY KAY WAMSER. PROP STYLING BY ANETA FLORCZYK. ON KRANZ: SHIRT, CLOTH & STONE. JEANS, MADEWELL. HAT, JO ABELLERA + TULA FOR EDIBLE GARDENS. EARRINGS AND NECKLACE, MAYA BRENNER X EDIBLE GARDENS LA. ON POPPY: ROMPER, BOBO CHOSES. HAT, SAN DIEGO HAT COMPANY.

Author Lauri Kranz designed this Los Angeles garden and tends it with young plant enthusiast Poppy, 9.

Grow Your Groceries!

Spend time with your kids outside and show them where their food really comes from (not Trader Joe’s).

And once they grow those leafy greens, they might actually eat them too.

When my eldest son

turned 5, I was asked to volunteer at his school in Los Angeles. I saw gardening on the list of options, and it brought

by L AU R I K R A N Z , with D E A N K U I P E R S photographs by ERIN KUNKEL

PA R E N T S

75 M A Y

2020

L I F EÑ G a r d e n i n g

STEP ONE

Find the Right Spot In order to find the best spot for your garden, follow the sun. Most homegrown produce needs to be in areas that get at least five hours of direct sunlight a day. Have your kids home in on the right spot by giving them this mission on a weekend: Take a photo of the space you’re thinking of using once every two hours in one day, between 8 a .m. and 4 p.m.

Then look at the photos together. Are there five hours of sun? If yes, you’re good to go.

DO A SUN CHECK.

If you’ve got more than one good spot, think about how you want to use the garden.

If it’s close to the kitchen, your kids can collect basil or oregano while you cook. If it’s near the hose, they can easily help water the plants. Ask, too, if the spot will be right in the path of, say, soccer balls or running dogs. Can you keep wildlife out?

WAT C H F O R T R E E S

Plants struggle to grow under pines and eucalyptus, for example, so garden out from under them.

OVERHEAD.

back memories of being with my father in our Connecticut backyard, where sunflowers towered over my head. I decided to sign up.

Truth be told, I didn’t really know that much about gardening. So I camped out in the public library, devouring every book I could get my hands on, and bombarded the growers at the weekly farmers’ market with questions. That school garden came alive through sheer trial and error.

PA R E N T S

76 M A Y

2020

These photos were taken in two gardens that Kranz planted. Sam, 5, and his brother, Milo, 3, bottom left, are in their yard, created by Kranz. “The garden teaches them about seasons, life cycles, and patience,” says the boys’ mom, Amy. Posy, 7, and her sister, Poppy, 9, top and opposite, have gardened with Kranz since preschool.

The kids loved eating the food they grew, and from then on, I was hooked. I launched a

gardening program at my younger son’s school too.

When parents started asking me if I’d come plant at their home, my company, Edible Gardens LA, was born.

Now my son is in college, and I’ve built hundreds of gardens. I still work in schools every week, and I live for the moments when I see kids make the connection: This is where our food comes from. You can do this, too, either at school or at home.

STEP TWO

Set the Stage Y O U ’ V E G O T C H O I C E S ! You can plant right in the ground, grow in containers (perfect for a patio), or, my preference, build a raised bed. A raised bed lets you control what’s in the soil, makes a garden possible even on a hardscape,

THIS PAGE, BOTTOM LEFT, ON MILO: TANK TOP AND OVERALLS, BOBO CHOSES. BOOTS, NATIVES. ON SAM: SHIRT, BOBO CHOSES. SHORTS, OUEF FROM SHAN & TOAD. BOOTS, NATIVE. OPPOSITE, ON POSY, LEFT: DRESS, PERO FROM SHAN & TOAD. ON POPPY: BOOTS, CAT & JACK.

AS S E S S YO U R O P TI O N S .

Kranz shows Posy, left, and Poppy, center, how to plant runner-bean seeds around the trellis. “I tell them to use their pointer finger to make a hole in the soil next to the trellis, then put a bean seed in that hole and cover it with soil,” Kranz says. “I explain that the trellis is a ladder the vegetables will climb.”

L I F EÑ G a r d e n i n g

and looks great. It’s basically an oblong box that is 18 to 24 inches high and as long as you want, but don’t go more than 4 feet wide—otherwise you and the kids won’t be able to reach into the middle.

V E G G I E S T H AT ARE E ASY FO R KID S

TO GROW

Snap beans and shelling beans

U S E O N LY U N T R E A T E D

Carrots

Skip wood that has been pressure treated, stained, painted, or sealed.

Anything that goes into that wood will go into the soil and then into your food. For the same reason, avoid plastic, fiberglass, composite, and metal. Many lumberyards sell raised-bed kits, but I build my own. (The plans are in my book, A Garden Can Be Anywhere: Creating Bountiful and Beautiful Edible Gardens.) Side note: If you’ve got gophers, line the bottom of each bed with gopher wire.

LUMBER.

Fava beans Cucumbers Corn Squash, which includes zucchini and pumpkins

L E T T H E K I D S H E L P.

Children can play in the dirt, literally, helping you fill the bed with soil. Leave some space to add 2 inches of compost on top. The layer of compost makes starting from seed easier, and it feeds the soil every time you water.

For a 4x8-foot bed, you’ll need three 1-cubic-foot bags of compost in addition to the organic soil. Locally sourced organic soil and compost are most likely to contain nutrients and microbes that match the soil in your area.

OR PLANT IN POTS!

If you’re short on space, using a patio, or otherwise want to start small, you can grow surprising amounts of food in terra-cotta, ceramic, or untreated-wood containers.

To grow herbs, greens, peas, cucumbers, and beans, you’ll need containers that are at least 12 inches deep.

Plants with deeper rootsÑlike tomatoes, peppers, broccoli, and eggplantÑneed 18 inches.

PA R E N T S

78 M A Y

2020

STEP THREE

Pick Your Plants F I G U R E O UT YO U R

Search online for the USDA Plant Hardiness Zone Map and plug in your zip code to see which zone you live in. Look up the last frost date for your zone in 2019. After that date, it will be warm enough to plant safely.

GROWING ZONE.

Gardeners love to pass on information.

We can talk about plants all day! If you know someone who gardens in your area, ask what thrives, because it’ll probably grow for you too.

ASK AROUND.

P L A N T W H AT YO U R K I D S LIKE—AND ONE THING T H E Y D O N ’ T . Chances are, no kindergartners are going to ask for kohlrabi, but they might be open to it if they

watch it sprout from seed. I used to dislike cabbage until I grew it and sautéed it, and now I eat it all the time. From what I can tell, families are more likely to eat new foods and try new recipes if they grow new-to-them veggies.

Plant African basil to attract bees to your garden—they will pollinate your plants so they can produce vegetables and fruits. Kids (and grown-ups) are often taught to be frightened of bees, but our world’s food supply would be in trouble without them.

In the school gardens, I teach kids that bees are so hard at work that they’re not really interested in us at all.

INVITE THE BEES.

Watermelon Sunflowers Peas (sugar snap, shelling, snow peas, and more) Lettuce Tomatoes

S E I G R E L L A H G U O R H T E L D D U M U O Y WHE N E S R U O C F F O E N O Y R E V I T T HROWS E

MUDDLE NO MORE

STICK WITH THE CONSISTENT ALLERGY RELIEF OF ZYRTEC.®

®

ZYRTEC ® starts working hard at hour one. It works twice as hard when you take it again the next day and stays strong day after day.

Use only as directed.

© J&JCI 2020

L I F EÑ G a r d e n i n g

STEP FOUR

Get Planting SUSS OUT SEEDS VERSUS SEEDLINGS.

Some plants, like cucumbers, carrots, and corn, are easy to grow from seed. Others do much better if started as young plants purchased from your local nursery, such as tomatoes, eggplants, and peppers.

break and then the plant won’t grow. Have your children dig a hole deep enough so that the plant’s roots are all placed beneath the surface of the soil. I like to give plants liquid seaweed (GS Plant Foods Organic Liquid Kelp concentrate, $30 for sixtyfour 1-gallon applications; amazon.com) and water to help them thrive.

TOOLS TO MAKE GARDENING M O R E K I D - F R I E N D LY 1

2

3

Garden trowel A cute digger comes with the Melissa & Doug Gardening Tote. $15; amazon .com

Gloves Only if you’re dirt averse.

Lowe’s sells kid-size ones. $16; lowes.com

Hose It makes watering easy, especially in a large area.

S TA R T AT L E A S T O N E

TE AC H YO U R K I D S TH E BASICS.

When shopping for young plants from the farmers’ market or nursery, help your kids spot hardy specimens by checking which ones have the most leaves and look like they’ve been well watered.

Once home, show kids how to tap the pot to loosen the dirt, then turn the pot over and use one hand to gently catch the seedling as it falls from the pot. Explain that they should never pull the seedling out because the stem can

PA R E N T S

80 M A Y

2020

ON KRANZ: SHIRT, VERONICA BEARD. SKIRT AND BELT, ANTHROPOLOGIE.

T H I N G F R O M S E E D . This way, you’ll show your kids the full cycle of a vegetable’s life. Putting a seed in the soil, watering it, letting the sun shine—there’s magic in that whether you’re 2 years old or 100. Beans and peas are both easily handled by small hands and are quick to sprout and grow. I teach children of any age to use their pointer finger to make a hole in the soil an inch deep (up to what I refer to as the “bendy part of your finger”). Remember that the larger the seed, the deeper it needs to go into the soil. The smallest seeds, like carrot, are planted close to the surface with only a light covering of soil; the largest, like pumpkin, get planted 1 inch deep.

Destinations

FR EE

TR AV EL I

PROMOTION

Travel Reader Service

HURRY!

Offers expire 10/10/20

NF O

Hover your phone’s camera over this code to instantly request more information from these destinations. Or complete the attached response card and return it to us today.

TRAVEL OFFERS Circle A111 to receive All Travel Offers.

ALABAMA

1.

Gulf Shores & Orange Beach. Come be transformed by our sugar-white sand beaches and sparkling turquoise waters.

CALIFORNIA

Visit California. The California Visitor’s

Guide is packed with stunning photography, useful tools and tips to plan an amazing trip to the Golden State! Plus, Steve Martin’s insider tips on discovering the golden state.

DELAWARE

3.

Rehoboth Beach—Dewey Beach.

Always Fun…Always Tax Free! Award-winning Beach and Boardwalk.

FLORIDA (CIRCLE A009 FOR ALL)

4.

Holiday Inn Club Vacations® at Orange Lake Resort. Stay and Play at

Holiday Inn Club Vacations® at Orange Lake Resort located In the Heart of Florida Family Fun!

5.

7.

8.

9.

butterfly gardens and more!

18. Fannin County Chamber of CVB.

Discover Blue Ridge, Georgia’s favorite mountain town, where small town charm meets uptown shopping and dining, just 90 miles from Atlanta.

19. Golden Isles. Discover the Golden Isles - the idyllic destination for beachcombers, golfers, history buffs, families and couples alike.

20. Kingsland Convention and Visitors Bureau. Nestled on the southeast coast of

Georgia, Kingsland is surrounded by the sights and sounds of the beautiful marshes and creeks.

21. Pine Mountain. A charming family escape awaits an hour southwest of Atlanta in Pine Mountain.

22. Visit Cartersville. You’ll find beautiful

rolling hills, a tranquil lake and two Smithsonian Affiliate museums in a friendly small town.

That’s Cartersville - a real Georgia Gem just north of Atlanta on Interstate 75.

23. Visit Lake Oconee. 75 miles from Atlanta, the time of your life is closer than you think.

IOWA (CIRCLE A015 FOR ALL)

Hyatt Regency Coconut Point Resort 24. Catch Des Moines. Des Moines: The S’s & Spa. Close to the Minnesota Twins Spring

Training ballpark, with private beach, 4 pools, waterslides and lazy river.

6.

17. Douglas County Tourism - Hydrangea 36. Ocean City. Discover an Ocean of Inspiration NORTH DAKOTA & Make New Memories.

Festival. Hydrangea Festival in Douglas 57. North Dakota. Breathtaking Badlands, rich County - first weekend in June featuring history, outdoor recreation and family fun 37. Somerset County. Explore our landscape, standard flower show, private garden tours, adventure awaits. Get your free Travel

Martin County. Martin County offers up

beautiful beaches, picturesque parks, natural beauty, attractions and a treasure trove of activities - minus the crowds.

Northwest Florida’s Emerald Coast.

The emerald waters of Destin-Fort Walton Beach, Florida promise to make childhood an adventure again.

Sanibel Moorings Resort. Sanibel

Moorings Resort. Gulf-front resort on Sanibel offering condos within a botanical garden. Our resort, located on the pristine white-sand beach, offers boat docks, tennis courts and two pools.

Sundial Beach Resort & Spa. Swim, play,

and relax in the sun on the Gulf of Mexico at Sanibel Island’s Best Full Service Resort seven years in a row.

may be silent, but our city is buzzing. There’s something for everyone in Greater Des Moines.

25. Iowa. Order your FREE Iowa Travel Guide

for trip ideas and information on attractions, lodging, campgrounds and more.

26. Okoboji. “Best Vacation Ever” is how your

family will remember your trip to Okoboji, Iowa’s #1 Vacation Destination! Start planning today!

27. Travel North Iowa. A top Midwest lake

destination with rare Frank Lloyd Wright architecture, music history at the Surf Ballroom, and extraordinary events!

KANSAS

11. The Island Life Awaits. The Island Life Awaits. Surround yourself with white-sand beaches, abundant wildlife, and an endless supply of seashells.

12. Visit Central Florida. Located between

Orlando and Tampa, a Central Florida vacation allows you to unpack once and experience all Florida has to offer.

13. Visit Pensacola. Top ranked sugar white beaches; vibrant downtown with festivals, history and shopping - discover your Pensacola experience.

GEORGIA (CIRCLE A010 FOR ALL)

14. Alpharetta. Find your AWESOME in

Alpharetta, home to 250 shops, 200+ restaurants, 20+ annual events, 40+ entertainment attractions & 4 cooking schools.

15. Alpine Helen. Where Mother Nature comes to play. A new adventure every day!

16. ATL Airport District. Minutes from

downtown, the District offers a variety of popular hotel brands, great food, and access to your favorite attractions.

38. Talbot County. Enjoy the costal towns,

world-class dining and shopping, and elegant inns. Or bike, kayak, and sail the Chesapeake Bay.

39. Visit Hagerstown County. Best known 40. Visit Harford County. Create your memories in Harford County, Maryland.

41. Visit Montgomery County. Your trip to

Washington, DC begins in Montgomery County, Maryland. Experience your weekend, your way with classic Maryland flavor!

MONTANA (CIRCLE A026 FOR ALL)

42. Central Montana. Home to dinosaur

attractions, incredible fishing, hiking/biking trails, family-friendly events, and more. Plan your trip today!

43. Destination Missoula. There’s this place

where a carousel whirls, homemade ice cream is always in season, and nature is the ultimate playground.

44. Glasgow. Glasgow Montana prides itself on

being more than four hours from a metro area, and full of fun!

45. Helena. Families love Montana’s rugged nature and abundant wildlife, and Helena provides that, plus family-friendly events and activities.

46. Indian Country. Experience indigenous

languages, cultures and traditions throughout Indian Country in Montana.Where twelve tribes’ customs are vibrant and diverse.

47. Kalispell. Discover the soul of Montana.

With a rich mountain culture, family-friendly activities and lodging, Kalispell is where the locals go.

48. Missouri River Country. Camp out under

MARYLAND (CIRCLE A020 FOR ALL)

49. Montana Dinosaur Trail. The Montana

the prairie. There’s no place like Kansas for experiencing unspoiled paradise together.

County, Maryland’s only seaside. Explore Assateague Island, Ocean City and authentic main street communities offering unique shopping and dining experiences.

30. Carroll County. Carroll County, MD. Barn

Quilt, Winery, Distillery & Microbrewery Trails.

Home of the Maryland Wine Festival.

31. Cecil County. Discover beautiful

countryside, shimmering harbors, and quaint historic villages, right on I-95! Experience unique shops, fabulous cuisine, State Parks, Hollywood Casino, award-winning wine, charming inns, and more! Once you visit, you’ll return again and again!

32. Deep Creek Lake & Garrett County.

Boating, skiing, biking, hiking or taking in the stunning scenery—plan your Deep Creek Experience in Deep Creek Lake & Garrett County, Maryland!

33. Frederick County. Shop Main Street

communities, hike on the Appalachian Trail, visit a craft brewery, and tour a battlefield.

perfect stargazing skies, uncover dinosaur fossils, and explore Northeast Montana’s vast landscape.

Dinosaur Trail features 14 stops in central and eastern Montana communities. Find guided tours, behind-the-scenes looks and more!

50. Montana State Parks. 55 State Parks

representing Montana’s most significant natural, heritage and recreational sites.

51. Stargazing in Eastern Montana. Big

35. Maryland. Home to endless adventure. So what are you waiting for? Now is the time to satisfy your five senses.

OHIO

58. Ohio Tourism. For those who understand

what life’s most important journey is all aboutinspiring memories to cherish the rest of your life. Ohio. Find it here.

59. South County Tourism Council. We

invite you to enjoy one of nature’s best kept secrets - South County, Rhode Island. Free South County RI Vacation Guide.

SOUTH DAKOTA (CIRCLE A041 FOR ALL)

60. Children’s Museum of South Dakota.

Greet a life-size T. Rex or climb the clouds. We spark imagination for children and their grownups at the Children’s Museum of South Dakota.

61. Crazy Horse Memorial. Crazy Horse

Memorial®; world’s largest Mountain Carving in progress! Explore the extensive visitor complex year-round and find special events online!

62. Custer State Park. The granite spires are

inviting, and the open ranges are filled with wildlife. Bring your family to Custer State Park and let yourself run wild.

63. Rushmore Tramway Adventures.

Rushmore Tramway Adventures, the adventure park of Keystone, SD. The home of Mount Rushmore!

64. Sioux Falls - The Heart of America.

Delight in the unexpected! South Dakota’s largest city rises from wide open spaces and cascading waterfalls. Plan your trip today.

65. South Dakota Missouri River Tourism.

Family-friendly exhibits featuring Lewis & Clark, Native American culture, and Oahe Dam information. Open year-round.

66. South Dakota Tourism. Our Great Faces and Great Places make for an unexpected and exciting vacation. Plan your trip to South Dakota today.

67. Wall Drug Store. Wall Drug Store, the

#1 Roadside Attraction in America, has been entertaining and educating the traveling public since 1931.

VIRGINIA

68. Visit Williamsburg. Greater Williamsburg is one of the most diverse destinations in America, offering the freedom to have fun through a variety of vacation experiences.

skies are legendary here. Eastern Montana offers great opportunities for outdoor adventures WEST VIRGINIA followed by a night under the stars.

52. Visit Big Sky. Where the views are endless,

the skies are big and the outdoor recreation will take your breath away.

53. Visit Montana. In Montana, your mission

for family fun will never end and it will always be unique. Discover your #MontanaMoment.

54. Visit Southeast Montana. Out here,

discover dinosaur fossils, hike badlands, experience an authentic powwow and savor a local steak—all in one day.

NEW YORK

34. Kent County. Quaint waterfront towns of the 55. Sullivan Catskills. Fifty years after Chesapeake Bay offer sunset cruises, kayaking, fishing charters, sailing, winery, museums, theaters, art galleries, shopping, antiquing, farmers’ markets and local seafood.

Guide today.

for our Civil War history, also visit our 5 National Parks, sip local wines, and enjoy outlet shopping! RHODE ISLAND

28. Kansas. Open, expansive skies. The hush of

10. The Beaches of Fort Myers & Sanibel. 29. Beach and Beyond. Discover Worcester The Island Life Awaits. Surround yourself with white-sand beaches, abundant wildlife and an endless supply of seashells.

sample the bounty of the bay, discover the sweeter side of life and celebrate the Chesapeake experience.

Woodstock, people still want to be here. Come see how the festival’s spirit lives on.

69. West Virginia. It’s the kind of place that

draws you in and calls you back, with natural simplicity and mystical beauty. Almost Heaven welcomes you.

WYOMING

70. Wyoming Office of Tourism. The

most fulfilling adventures can’t be explained.

Only experienced. Start planning with a free Wyoming Official Travel Guide.

MID-ATLANTIC

71. Great Mid-Atlantic Family Vacations.

2020 is your year to travel. Register for a chance to win one of several getaways throughout the U.S.

NORTH CAROLINA

SOUTHEAST

56. The Outer Banks of North Carolina.

72. Great Southeast Family Vacations. A

Get your free Outer Banks Travel Guide and plan your escape to the extraordinary.

year for family vacations. Register for a chance to win one of several getaways across the Southeast.

For more FREE travel Info & offers visit TravelMeredith.com

2.

&O FF ER S

L I F EÑ G a r d e n i n g

STEP FIVE

Water and Pick!

EDITORS’ CHOICE

cans from the tub. Be sure an adult is always present when there’s water around.

H A R V E S T T I M E . Pick lettuce, Swiss chard, and spinach by taking the outermost leaves as they mature and keeping three to four leaves in the center of each plant so they continue to grow and produce food throughout the season.

Take beans, peas, and cucumbers off the plant when they’re the size you like to eat, but don’t leave them on too long (they won’t taste good). For root vegetables such as carrots or beets, when you see the greens above the soil getting quite large, put a finger into the soil around the vegetable to feel how wide the top of it is. Don’t know for sure if something’s ready? Pick one, give it a rinse, and try it!

Try a collection of plants that come via mail and get you and your kids started quickly. We like the Beginner’s Veggie Garden ($69 for nine kinds of vegetables) and the Beginner’s Herb Garden ($65 for six kinds of herbs), both at whiteflowerfarm.com.

In the school gardens, I teach a “seed to seed” curriculum.

We plant seeds, watch them sprout, grow them and harvest, and then collect the seeds to do it all over again for the full cycle.

T E A C H T H E T O U C H T E S T.

Ask your kid to put her finger in the soil an inch or two below the surface. If the soil is dry or there are spots of dry and wet, then it’s time to water, but if it’s muddy, wait another day.

Kids love watering. It’s helpful to demonstrate good technique, showing kids how to spread the water around rather than dumping it all over a favorite (or the nearest) plant. I tell my gardening students, “We don’t make puddles, we make rain.”

Tell them they are watering the soil, not the plants.

To make it easy for them, I use a hose to fill a galvanized steel tub with water so the children can fill their watering WAT E R R I G H T.

S AV E S O M E S E E D S .

COOK LIKE A GARDENER

Preparing things you grow is different from picking produce from the store: Instead of an 8-ounce bag of spinach, you may end up with only a handful of kale, a few Swiss chard leaves, and a tiny head of broccoli. One idea: Toss them into a kid-friendly stir-fry seasoned with garlic and salt, and serve with rice. Or try them on top of a homemade pizza that you bake in the oven.

PA R E N T S

82 M A Y

2020

L I F E ÑT r av e l

The Secret to Hassle -Free Family Vacations With these tips from experts, you’ll be able to sidestep the struggles that come with kid travel—and give yourself a chance to truly chillax.

by S A S C H A Z U G E R and K A R E N C I C E R O / photograph by T H AY E R A L LYS O N G O W DY

1

Book a suite within your budget.

Even if you don’t think you need a lot of space because you’ll be sightseeing most of the day, a standard room with two double or queen beds will come back to bite you at night.

Picture it now: Once the kids are asleep at 7:30 p.m., you’ll do everything in your power to keep them that way, even if it means fumbling around in the dark and turning off the TV. “Be honest with yourself.

Would you be rested or happy after seven nights of this? I wasn’t,” says Summer Hull, a mom of two who writes for ThePointsGuy.com.

GET MORE HOTEL SPACE FOR THE SAME PRICE.

Staying in a suite is a game changer, and you don’t have to blow your vacation budget if you zero in on hotels like Residence Inn by Marriott, Homewood Suites by Hilton, Hyatt House, and Embassy Suites by Hilton. One-bedroom suites at most locations have a master bedroom with a door that separates it from the living room, which contains a sofa bed, another TV, and enough space to set up a portable crib. If you opt for a two-bedroom suite at the Residence Inn by Marriott, you’d nab an extra bathroom, too, for a rate that’s on par with what you’d usually pay for a room with two queen beds at the Renaissance Hotels or Westin Hotels & Resorts.

LOOK INTO TIME-SHARES.

For trips to Walt Disney World, in Orlando, and Aulani, a Disney Resort & Spa, in Hawaii, Hull buys time-share points from David’s Vacation Club Rentals. “We stayed in a three-bedroom villa at

PA R E N T S

84 M AY

2020

You don’t want anything mediocre for your kids. Well, we don’t want anything mediocre for our iced tea. That’s why we say no to artificial sweeteners and flavors and say yes to only the finest ingredients, expertly crafted.

NO ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS. NO ARTIFICIAL FL AVORS. NO IS

beautiful.

©2020 PURE LEAF logo is a registered trademark of the Unilever Group of Companies used under license.

L I F E ÑT r av e l

Disney’s Polynesian Village Resort for half the price we’d pay booking directly through Disney,” she says. (Yep, you can still reserve ride passes and restaurant meals as usual.) Similarly, she’s bought points to stay at a Westin Vacation Club time-share in Hawaii for far less than the going rate; look at options on memberstrade.com.

Renting a house or an apartment is, of course, another solution if you’re not wedded to hotel perks like free breakfast and on-site maintenance should something go wrong.

2

Outsource some of your packing.

You can avoid one of the major pain points of flying with a baby or a toddler by renting gear at your destination rather than dragging it cross-country.

Babyquip.com vets locals in 500 U.S. and Canadian cities who will bring you a crib, a high chair, a stroller, a car seat, toys, and other essentials. Many offer a discount for bundled items.

For nongear needs, Totts.co delivers a package with diapers, wipes, baby lotion, sippy cups, and first-aid supplies to your location in the U.S. and parts of the Caribbean. You can customize it (choose the size and brand of diapers, for instance) and select add-ons (like

baby sunscreen). Five nights’ worth of goods costs around $100. That’s about the same price as buying the items and checking an extra suitcase.

3

Stay in one place.

While road-tripping down the California coast or country-hopping in Europe is wonderful in its own way, vacations where you can chill in one place and there’s something for everyone to do tend to be

the happiest for many families, says Amy Alipio, an editor at National Geographic Travel. You’re not as likely to get frazzled by delays, and you can really settle into your vacation vibe.

After all, research shows it takes at least two days to unplug. Says Alipio: “My family had a great recent trip to Quebec, where we stayed in an apartment in Montreal and just hung out feeling like locals, eating take-out sandwiches from Schwartz’s and getting breakfast from Tim Hortons.”

4 They have all the comforts of your place—and more.

S TAY A L F R E D

Cofounded by a dad of three young kids, this apartment-style lodging in 32 U.S. cities is a particularly great buy in family-friendly San Diego, where you can usually score a two-bedroom, two-bathroom space for less than $200 a night.

KID & COE

Carefully curated, these dreamy-looking spaces (ranging from a city apartment to a house big

PA R E N T S

86 M A Y

2020

enough for a family reunion) are stocked with high chairs, cribs, and toys. You’ll find around 500 U.S. listings, but this service really shines in Europe, where hotel rooms tend to be tiny.

E N C O R E R E S O R T AT REUNION

If you’re vacationing in Orlando with extended family, look into renting a big vacation home at this complex. Some options even have bedrooms with

Harry Potter, Star Wars, Disney Princesses, and Toy Story themes.

D E S T I N AT I O N RE S IDE NC E S HAWAI ' I

Its “condo resorts” on Maui, the Big Island, and Kauai have pools, housekeeping, full kitchens, and a washerdryer. You can often nab twice the space for the same price as a hotel room. Plus, you’ll earn (or you can use) Hyatt points when you book.

Spend time now to avoid waiting later.

Nothing leads to a meltdown faster than a long line. And snacks will buy you only so much time. Instead, try these jump-the-line strategies: A T T H E A I R P O R T You and your partner won’t regret spending $85 each, applying online, and making an in-person appointment to get TSA PreCheck and sail through airport security for the next five years. (Kids ages 12 and under can tag along with you free.) “Some credit cards reimburse you for all or some of the expense,” Hull says. At high-volume airports like JFK or Orlando, PreCheck can save you 40 minutes on an average weekday.

PRISCILLA GRAGG.

Kid-Centric Home-Rental Sites

Cheese. Tacos.

No dinner drama.

© 2019 Kraft Foods

L I F E ÑT r a v e l

AT T H E C A R - R E N TA L P L A C E

It’s your last airport hurdle, and by this time, even the most chill kid is losing it. “Join the rental-car company’s free loyalty program,” suggests Hull. “We did this at Hertz before our recent Hawaii trip, and they had the keys ready for us when we got there, so we didn’t have to wait in the line that was out the door.”

A T Y O U R H O T E L’ S F R O N T D E S K

Find out if mobile check-in is an option.

Marriott, Hilton, Hyatt, and Disney

AT P O P U L A R AT T R A C T I O N S

For crowd magnets like New York City’s Empire State building, consider buying a CityPASS; the ticket bundle is available for 13 American cities as well as Toronto. You’ll save money compared with purchasing tickets

3 Disney-Line Hacks That Will Save You Hours The happiest place on earth can feel draining when it takes two hours to get on a two-minute ride. Len Testa, who tracks wait times for TouringPlans.com, offers these strategies to help your family enjoy more and stand around less.

MA XI M I Z E YO U R R I D E PAS S E S

With your tickets, everyone in your fam will receive three virtual FastPass+ reservations daily. These will allow you to bypass the regular line, which for some rides could be three hours or longer in the summer. You can choose the time and ride 30 to 60 days in advance on the My Disney Experience mobile app, depending on whether you’re staying at a Disney hotel. Spend your passes on rides that generally have the biggest waits.

For families with young kids, that would be Mickey & Minnie’s Runaway Railway (a new ride), Slinky Dog Dash, Seven Dwarfs Mine Train, Frozen Ever After, and Peter Pan’s Flight.

It’s also worth using a pass on a character meet- and-greet to ensure your kid is still in a good mood when it’s time for the photo op.

Learn where to buy Beyond at BeyondPetFood.com.

PA R E N T S

88 M A Y

2020

S C O R E E XTR A PAS S E S

Once you use the passes you reserved, you can get more for free if they’re available. Maximize your chances by selecting your initial three for the morning. Some families who are open to riding anything have been able to get nine more by selecting “next available FastPass+” on the mobile app, says Testa. If you’d rather choose a specific ride and don’t see availability, continue to check the app because Disney releases more during the day.

ORDER FOOD AHEAD

The lines for counter-service food can be an hour or more in the summer.

Use the My Disney Experience mobile app to order breakfast or lunch (up to 30 days in advance, but, hey, before you leave the hotel in the morning is also good), prepay, and head right to the mobile pickup window.

BETH STUDENBERG.

WITH NATURAL PROBIOTICS FOR DIGESTIVE HEALTH, THE CHOICE IS SIMPLE.

offer it at many hotels and resorts. You download the brand’s mobile app, get your room number, and unlock the door with your smartphone. The kids will be jumping on the bed in no time.

separately, but the biggest perk is “priority” or “express” entry at most attractions, which lets you walk past the line. One Parents staffer avoided an hour-long, sun-scorched wait at Chicago’s Shedd Aquarium.

In Europe, Go City attraction bundles provide “fast-track” entry.

Or if you want to visit just one or two sites, such as the London Eye or Amsterdam’s Anne Frank House, you can book timed tickets on the attraction’s website. You won’t regret committing to a time slot, especially during summer when walk-up lines are bonkers.

5

Meet up with cousins.

Extra playmates take the pressure off you to entertain the kids all day.

Hull’s kids had a better time on a ski trip to Maryland with their cousins than on a vacation in Colorado with just their parents. (No cousins their age? Vacays with friends work too.)

6

Roll with the unexpected.

Think through what might go wrong, and have a Plan B. For instance, you might want to research play areas at airports in case there’s a delay, and put your carrier’s app on your phone so you can rebook quickly if your flight is canceled. In case rain spoils your plans, look into a backup, like a children’s museum, bowling alley, or indoor bounce house that will get the kids excited. Disney parks usually clear out on rainy days, so if you don’t mind getting wet, you could get a break from the crowds.

7

Bend the rules.

Kids fondly remember little things you let them do on vacation but not at home. “When we’re away, my kids sometimes eat dessert for breakfast,” says Hull. “They also get to swim at night, a little past their bedtime.”

And hey, if you get a break from enforcing the rules, you might just enjoy your vacation a lot more too.

THEY SEE THE PERSON WHO LOVES THEM. BEYOND® SEES AN EXPERT WHO KNOWS THEM.

At Beyond, we give you natural, mix-and-match style options with vitamins, minerals and nutrients for the pet you know best. Learn more at BeyondPetFood.com.

Beyond. Feed with purpose.

L I F EÑ C a r S h o p p i n g

And the Winning Cars Are ...

This year’s picks have stellar safety ratings (of course), plus the extra space, cupholders, and entertainment systems to keep your crew comfy.

by K A R E N C I C E R O / photograph by P R I S C I L L A G R A G G

BEST FAMILY CARS

HOW WE MADE THIS LIST

PA R E N T S

90 M A Y

2020

1

2

3

CRASH TESTS

C A R - S E AT C H E C K S

BEHIND THE WHEEL

We considered models that received a five-star overall safety rating from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, which conducts crash tests on new vehicles; a few picks hadn’t received their rating at press time.

You can look up results from any year at nhtsa.gov.

Certified child-passenger safety technician Abbie Patterson, owner of the consulting company Super Car Seat Geek, installed an average-size infant seat, convertible seat, harnessed booster, and backless booster in more than 50 contenders.

Auto reporter Rob Stumpf took the cars that passed the seat check for a spin—sometimes with his 9-year-old in the back—to evaluate braking, steering, acceleration, tech, and more.

CAR SEATS FOR TESTING COURTESY OF GRACO.

2020

The world is your launchpad in the all-new Toyota Highlander.

Wherever you’re going, go boldly. Go with an available all-wheel-drive system built to help handle whatever comes your way and an extraordinarily stylish interior with the available, bestin-class 12.3-in. touch-screen display.* Don’t just go — go above and beyond. Let’s Go Places. toyota.com/highlander

Prototype shown with options. Do not overload your vehicle. See Owner’s Manual for weight limits and restrictions. *2020 Highlander vs. 2020 competitors. Information from manufacturers’ websites as of 09/19/19. ©2020 Toyota Motor Sales, U.S.A., Inc.

L I F EÑ C a r S h o p p i n g

M I N I VA N S The stigma is real, but so are the perks: sliding doors that won’t nick nearby cars, cargo space galore, and kid-friendly tech.

B E ST VALU E

BEST ECO PICK

BEST FOR BIG FAMILIES

Kia Sedona

Chrysler Pacifica Hybrid

Honda Odyssey

The Sedona’s starting price is three to five grand less than comparable minivans, giving you a lower monthly payment or wiggle room to add an entertainment system.

H O W I T D R I V E S It steers as easily as a smaller vehicle so you can pull into tight parking spaces at Target and navigate around road construction cones. The automatic eight-speed transmission, boosted from a six-speed starting with the 2019 model year, helps you shift confidently.

C A R - S E AT C O M PAT I B I L I T Y

$39,995+/up to 82 mpg

The only hybrid minivan on the market keeps up with its gas- powered sibling. You’ll offset the higher price with a federal tax credit of up to $7,500 (details at the EPA’s fueleconomy.gov) and savings at the pump. Your family can travel an astounding 520 miles on a full tank and a single charge, twice the distance of most minivans.

H O W I T D R I V E S It’s nearly as fast as the classic Pacifica. Two electric-drive motors combine with a V-6 engine to give you around 260 horsepower.

You can fit four to five seats: two in the back row and, if you opt for the LX ($30,400+), potentially three in the middle row. (The entry-level trim includes space for only two second-row passengers.)

You’ll be able to install a seat in each of the captain’s chairs and two more in the third row.

Adjustable head restraints in the second row can make installation easier.

F U N E X T R A S Score a pair of touch screens on the back of the front seats when you add the rear-entertainment package ($1,500) to the EX ($33,700+). Your kids will be thrilled that they can watch their fave Netflix shows.

F U N E X T R A S By upgrading to the Hybrid Limited ($45,845+), you’ll nab heated front seats while the kids get 10-inch touch screens on the backs of the front seats that they can use to stream video from a smartphone.

C A R - S E AT C O M PAT I B I L I T Y

It’s the only minivan available with an all-wheel transmission.

When you’re racing home from the park in a thunderstorm, you’ll be grateful that you opted for the $2,500 upgrade.

H O W I T D R I V E S It’s best on the

B E S T A L L- W E AT H E R

Toyota Sienna $31,640+/19 to 27 mpg

PA R E N T S

92 M A Y

2020

highway, where it sails over bumps with ease and accelerates quickly thanks to the powerful 296-horsepower V-6 engine.

C A R - S E AT C O M PAT I B I L I T Y

You can fit two car seats or boosters in the second row

$30,790+/19 to 28 mpg

You won’t find a vehicle more versatile for carpooling or chauffeuring around a large squad of your own. It holds up to six car seats if you opt for the EX ($34,790+) or higher trim. Plus, Honda upgraded to an automatic ten-speed transmission for 2020 to give you a smoother ride.

H O W I T D R I V E S The V-6,

280-horsepower engine goes from 0 to 60 miles per hour in less than seven seconds, the fastest of our winning minivans.

C A R - S E AT C O M PAT I B I L I T Y

With five sets of lower anchors and a tether for every seat in the second and third rows, you can install your seats wherever you’d like.

F U N E X T R A S When you don’t have the max number of passengers, you can remove the center seat from the middle row and slide the other two seats together to access the back row easily. If you get the rear-entertainment system on the EX-L ($40,160+), kids can watch a Blu-ray or stream video on a 10-inch screen that pulls down from overhead.

They give you loads of space with a sporty design.

B E ST VALU E

Volkswagen Atlas $31,545+/20 to 26 mpg

Even with the lowest starting price of our three-row-SUV winners, it offers a generous four-year or 50,000-mile warranty plus two years of free regularly scheduled maintenance.

H O W I T D R I V E S It feels comfortable, steering and braking with ease. Safety features like automatic headlights and heated side mirrors come standard.

C A R - S E AT C O M PAT I B I L I T Y Opt for

bench-style seating to fit three narrow car seats or boosters across the second row and two more in the third row. If you’re installing a high-back booster or a forward-facing car seat in the third row, you may need to remove the head restraint to get the correct angle for the seat. (Replace it if you remove the car seat.)

F U N E X T R A S On the SE and higher ($34,095), each row has its own climate control so kids can crank up or turn down the AC by themselves.

and two more in the third row.

Install a booster seat in the center or driver’s side, where the buckle stalks are less rigid.

F U N E X T R A S Sibs won’t

bicker over whose turn it is to choose the movie thanks to the split screen on the Blu-ray entertainment center with wireless headphones on the XLE ($37,790+) or SE Premium ($43,885+). Baby Shark for the toddler, Toy Story for the older kid, peace and quiet for you!

P I C KS F O R T E E N D R I V E R S

Scan this code with your phone’s camera or go to parents .com/teencars to find the best bets for your teen’s first car (no app needed).

COURTESY OF THE BRANDS.

$27,600+/18 to 24 mpg

THREE-ROW SUVS

Perfect for tiles, tubs, and toilets—your perfect happy place.

The Scrubbing Bubbles® Full Bathroom Collection cleans it up so you can live it up.

© 2020 S.C. Johnson & Son, Inc. All rights reserved.

L I F EÑ C a r S h o p p i n g

… T H R E E - R O W S U V S , C O N T I N U E D

The Highlander got a makeover for 2020, improving its look, safety features, and engine. A hybrid version ($38,200+) is rolling into dealerships now.

BEST REDESIGN

Toyota Highlander $34,600+/21 to 29 mpg

H O W I T D R I V E S Thanks to a superior suspension system, the Highlander handles far more gracefully than you’d expect for a 4,500-pound vehicle. The new safety systems—including one that displays road signs on your dashboard—come standard.

CA R - S E AT C O M PAT I B I LI T Y

Go for bench-style seating in the second row rather than captain’s chairs if you need to install four car seats or boosters. You’ll fit three in the second row and another in the center seat of the back row.

TWO -ROW SUVS These models can fit two kids and all their stuff.

F U N E X T R A S On the XLE model and above ($39,600+), you can wirelessly charge your phone in the center console, plus you’ll get heated front seats.

BEST QUIET RIDE

Buick Envision $31,995/22 to 29 mpg

Its noise-cancellation tech helps block outside sounds.

BEST FOR BIG FAMILIES

BEST QUIET RIDE

BEST SAFETY TECH

Subaru Ascent

Honda Pilot

Nissan Pathfinder

$31,650+/20 to 27 mpg

$31,680+/19 to 26 mpg for the four-wheel drive

$31,995+/21 to 27 mpg with 18-inch wheels

The entry-level Ascent comes with features—including all-wheel drive—that you’ll pay extra for on other SUVs. The new Rear Seat Reminder will help keep kids from being left in a hot car. On a lighter note, it boasts 19 cupholders.

H O W I T D R I V E S Its new 2.4-liter turbocharged engine is peppy, and the gas-saving CVT transmission works well.

CA R - S E AT C O M PAT I B I LI T Y

The Ascent’s cushions are minimally contoured, which may make installing car seats easier. You can fit three narrow seats across the second row and two in the third.

F U N E X T R A S The Premium

model and higher ($34,395+) come with a Wi-Fi hot spot.

If you like everything about the Honda Odyssey except that it’s a minivan, the Pilot is a great option. On its rear-entertainment system, kids can watch Blu-ray discs or stream video on a screen that pulls down from overhead.

H O W I T D R I V E S The ride is quiet and smooth. You can opt for a six- or nine-speed transmission, depending on the trim. Consider the nine if you expect to put on a lot of highway miles.

C A R - S E AT C O M PAT I B I L I T Y

You can fit up to five car seats: three in the second row and two in the third.

F U N E X T R A S On the EX and

higher ($34,790+), the second-row seats will fold and move forward (even with a car seat installed) when you push a button, making it easier to get to the back.

It’s the most mod-looking SUV in its price range. The curvy shape helps hide its size.

BEST DESIGN

Mazda CX-9 $33,890/22 to 28 mpg

PA R E N T S

94 M A Y

2020

H O W I T D R I V E S With a turbocharged four-cylinder engine, the SUV gives you power when you need it and saves on gas when you don’t.

It gets about 15 percent better gas mileage than other vehicles in its class.

C A R - S E AT C O M PAT I B I L I T Y

You’ll comfortably fit four seats.

The standard model comes with high-tech blind-spot monitoring and rear-parking sensors. It was the first SUV to have a system that honks automatically if you open the back door before a trip but not after you arrive, helping to prevent children from being left in a hot car.

H O W I T D R I V E S A robust 2.0-liter turbocharged engine paired with a nine-speed transmission offers plenty of speed for highway driving.

CA R- S E AT C O M PAT I B I LIT Y

The back is roomy enough for three seats. FYI: The center doesn’t have a headrest, so it’s not compatible with a backless booster.

F U N E X T R A S The brand’s air ionizer helps eliminate odors. Fingers crossed it works for stinky sneakers.

H O W I T D R I V E S Its V-6 engine provides a lot of power, and the steering is great.

CA R- S E AT C O M PAT I B I LI T Y

You can fit up to three seats in the second row and two boosters in the back.

F U N E X T R A S The SV Rock

Creek Edition ($35,465+) looks swanky thanks to metallic trim pieces and orange stitching on the seats.

If you need to install a forward-facing seat in the back row, put it on the passenger’s side since the tether is there.

It’s okay to put a booster on the driver’s side.

F U N E X T R A S If you usually have to stand on your tippytoes to close your trunk, you’ll love the feature on the Touring model ($38,910) that allows you to program how high you want it to open.

B E ST STE E RI NG SYSTE M

Chevrolet Equinox $23,800+/26 to 31 mpg

You can expect a smooth ride and precise handling.

H O W I T D R I V E S Its engine is powerful; the Equinox handles much better for its size than you’d expect.

CA R- S E AT C O M PATI B I LIT Y

It’s easy to spot the tethers and lower anchors. Since the middle seat doesn’t have a headrest, you can install only a forward-facing seat or a high-back booster there.

F U N E X T R A S Add wireless headphones and a DVD player for $1,995 on any trim.

P R O M OTI O N

D O N ’T TR AS H IT

R ECYCLE IT PLASTIC MAILING WRAP IS RECYCLABLE

Th e pl asti c mai li n g wr ap

containing your favorite Meredith magazine is recyclable everywhere #4 plastic is accepted. Scan the smart code to visit PlasticFilmRecycling.org for collection locations near you.

Cozi is the #1 family organizing app

L I F EÑ C a r S h o p p i n g

… T W O - R O W S U V S , C O N T I N U E D

FA M I LY S E DA N S For smaller families or city dwellers, or as second cars, these roomy sedans are good buys.

B E S T S P A C E F O R C A R S E AT S

Ford Edge

BEST REFRESH

GMC Terrain

$31,100/21 to 29 mpg

$28,400+/26 to 30 mpg

The back row isn’t contoured, so it fits three average-size car seats, one of the few two-row SUVs with this perk.

Beginning this year, the brand’s advanced safety features like automatic emergency braking come standard on all models.

H O W I T D R I V E S A forgiving

suspension and automatic eight-speed transmission provide a smooth ride.

C A R - S E AT C O M PAT I B I L I T Y

Fab! We fit an infant seat behind the driver, a narrow booster in the middle, and a forward-facing seat on the passenger’s side.

F U N E X T R A S Opt for the convenience package ($935) to add wireless charging to the SEL ($34,355+).

H O W I T D R I V E S Braking

and steering efficiently, it’s a well-rounded choice.

The Denali trim ($38,300+) upgrades the suspension for a more comfortable ride.

C A R - S E AT C O M PAT I B I L I T Y

The center seat doesn’t have a head restraint, but you can position a rear-facing or forward-facing car seat there.

F U N E X T R A S You can add a backseat entertainment system with a DVD player for $1,995.

B E S T-VA LU E H Y B R I D

B E S T A L L- W E AT H E R

Honda Accord Hybrid

Subaru Legacy

$25,620+/up to 48 mpg

It costs only $1,750 more than the regular Accord, and you don’t lose any cargo space.

H O W I T D R I V E S The

transition between electric and gas power is seamless.

BEST FOR ROAD TRIPS

Subaru Crosstrek Hybrid

Subaru Forester

$35,145/up to 90 mpg

You can travel 480 miles on a tank! Apply for a federal tax credit of up to $4,500 to help offset the cost; get details at fueleconomy.gov.

H O W I T D R I V E S Although

it’s not as powerful as its gas-powered counterpart, its suspension makes driving comfy and quiet.

C A R - S E AT C O M PAT I B I L I T Y

Three seats just fit. A combo that worked: convertible seat behind the passenger, infant seat behind the driver, and narrow booster in the middle.

F U N E X T R A S The option

package ($2,500) adds a power moonroof, a heated steering wheel, and more.

Every Legacy comes with all-wheel drive, giving you more traction in rain and snow.

H O W I T D R I V E S You’ll get good acceleration and gas mileage thanks to the turbocharged engine.

C A R - S E AT C O M PAT I B I L I T Y

C A R - S E AT C O M PAT I B I L I T Y

Three narrow seats fit well.

Install a forward-facing car seat or booster on one of the sides rather than the middle.

If you want to put three kids in the back and one needs a rear-facing seat, install it in the center position.

BEST SPORTS CAR

BEST SPORTS HYBRID

Nissan Maxima

Toyota Camry Hybrid

$34,250/20 to 30 mpg

BEST ECO PICK

$22,745/27 to 35 mpg

$28,430/up to 53 mpg

It seems tailor-made for a national-park vacay. All-wheel drive comes standard, making it easier to navigate uneven terrain and bad weather.

Need a four-door sports car you can drive to school pick-up? The 300-horsepower engine and design deliver.

It’s a fun commuter car that’s still roomy enough to haul two kids around on the weekend.

H O W I T D R I V E S Crisp braking and handling make it easy to wrangle.

H O W I T D R I V E S It’s lively for a hybrid, so you can merge on the highway with ease.

C A R - S E AT C O M PAT I B I L I T Y

C A R - S E AT C O M PAT I B I L I T Y

H O W I T D R I V E S Its high ground clearance allows it to handle off-the-beaten-path, bumpy terrain.

You can fit only two kids in the back, but passengers and drivers have legroom when seats are installed behind them.

The lower anchors and tethers are easy to spot. If you need to install only one seat, put it on the passenger’s side.

$24,495/26 to 33 mpg

C A R - S E AT C O M PAT I B I L I T Y

The driver gets a tad more legroom than in the Crosstrek when a rear-facing seat is installed in the back. But the Forester is less likely than the Crosstrek to fit three car seats.

F U N E X T R A S The premium

($27,395+) will make a road trip more seamless thanks to raised roof rails for surfboards or other gear.

Our Luxury Winners F A M I LY S E D A N S

TWO-ROW SUVS

Lincoln Continental Lexus ES350

Acura RDX Cadillac XT5 Lincoln Nautilus Lexus UX 200

THREE-ROW SUVS

Volvo XC90 Acura MDX Ford Expedition Cadillac XT6

Read more about our luxury picks at parents.com/luxurycars.

PA R E N T S

99 M A Y

2020

L I F E Ñ Fo o d

Big-Batch Breakfasts

Beat the morning scramble with healthy recipes you can prep or cook in advance.

by K AT I E M O R F O R D , R . D . / photographs by G R E G D U P R E E

Weekday pancakes FTW

Blueberry-Yogurt Pancakes Evening Prep 15 minutes Morning Cook 10 to 15 minutes Makes 8 (5-in.) pancakes

PA R E N T S

100 M A Y

I N G R E DI E N T S 3/4 cup plain yogurt 3/4 cup milk 1 large egg 2 Tbs. unsalted butter, melted, plus more for serving 1 Tbs. pure maple syrup, plus more for serving 1 tsp. pure vanilla extract 11/2 cups white whole-wheat flour 11/2 tsp. baking soda 1/4 tsp. kosher salt Nonstick cooking spray 1/2 cup fresh or frozen (thawed) blueberries Additional berries, for garnish 2020

MAKE IT

1. Mix yogurt, milk, egg, butter, syrup, and vanilla in a blender until smooth. Add flour, baking soda, and salt. Process to combine. If making batter ahead, refrigerate up to 2 days.

2. Coat a skillet with cooking spray; heat over medium. Add batter, using about ¼ cup per pancake. Scatter 1 Tbs. blueberries over each. When browned, flip and cook through, about 2 minutes per side. (Pancakes can be frozen up to 1 month; toast before serving.) Top with butter and syrup, and more berries.

NUTRITION PER PANCAKE

148 calories; 6g protein; 5g fat (3g sat. fat); 23g carbs; 3g fiber; 5g sugar; 1mg iron; 77mg calcium; 308mg sodium

FOOD STYLING BY CHELSEA ZIMMER. PROP STYLING BY CHRISTINE KEELY.

You can whip up the batter for these whole-wheat pancakes in a blender and refrigerate it until the next morning. Or cook all the pancakes and pop them in the freezer.

Toast them to reheat.

L I F E Ñ Fo o d

Broccoli & Cheese Frittata Cups Evening Prep 50 minutes Morning Cook 1 minute Makes 1 dozen I N G R E DI E N T S 11/2 cups coarsely chopped broccoli florets 9 large eggs 1/2 cup milk 1/4 tsp. kosher salt 1 cup cooked, diced chicken sausage 3 green onions, thinly sliced 11/2 cups grated sharp cheddar cheese Nonstick cooking spray MAKE IT

1. Preheat oven to 300°F. Microwave broccoli with 2 Tbs. water in a microwave-safe bowl on high for 1 minute. Drain well.

2. Whisk together eggs, milk, and salt in a medium bowl. Add broccoli, sausage, green onions, and cheese. Stir well.

Ladle into a 12-cup muffin pan coated with cooking spray.

3. Bake until tops are just barely set, about 30 minutes. Let cool for at least 10 minutes. Remove from pan (run a knife around the edges to loosen, if needed).

4. If making ahead, refrigerate in an airtight container up to 4 days. (Or freeze up to 1 month; thaw in the refrigerator the night before you’re planning to eat.) In the morning, microwave on medium power for about 45 seconds.

NUTRITION PER FRITTATA CUP 142 calories; 10g protein; 10g fat

(4g sat. fat); 3g carbs; 0 fiber; 1g sugar; 1mg iron; 142mg calcium; 268mg sodium

PA R E N T S

102 M A Y

2020

Protein goodness in an on-the-go size A muffin-tin breakfast takes the hassle out of scrambling eggs during the morning rush.

Make a batch on a Sunday night and it will keep through Wednesday. (The cups can be frozen too.)

I C I A L BR F F O

ILLED

SE

OF

GR

EAD

THE

c i s a b t u b g n i h t Any

E E CH

© Bimbo Bakeries USA, Inc. All rights reserved.

L I F E Ñ Fo o d

Strawberry-Oatmeal Squares A nice switch from overnight oats, with extra-cozy vibes We pumped a breakfast casserole with nuts, eggs, fruit, and fiber-rich oats. Bake it ahead, then warm it up in the microwave.

Evening Prep 50 minutes Morning Cook 1 minute Makes 9 squares I N G R E DI E N T S 2 cups old-fashioned rolled oats 1/2 cup chopped pecans 1 tsp. baking powder 1 tsp. cinnamon, plus more for dusting 1/4 tsp. kosher salt 2 cups milk 2 Tbs. unsalted butter, melted 2 large eggs 1/3 cup pure maple syrup 11/2 cups sliced strawberries Nonstick cooking spray 2 tsp. sugar MAKE IT

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Stir oats, pecans, baking powder, cinnamon, and salt in a large bowl. Whisk together milk, butter, eggs, and syrup in a medium bowl. Pour milk mixture over oats and stir well. Stir in strawberries.

2. Pour into an 8x8-in. baking pan coated with cooking spray.

Sprinkle with sugar and a dusting of cinnamon. Bake until the batter is set but still tender, about 35 minutes. Cut into 9 squares and let cool.

3. If making ahead, refrigerate in an airtight container up to 4 days. In the morning, warm each piece in the microwave on medium power for about 1 minute.

NUTRITION PER SQUARE

217 calories; 6g protein; 11g fat (3g sat. fat); 26g carbs; 3g fiber; 13g sugar; 1mg iron; 125mg calcium; 129mg sodium

PA R E N T S

104 M A Y

2020

Only Eggland’s Best gives you cage free eggs with 25% less saturated fat and 6 times more vitamin D No other egg provides 10 times more vitamin E, 6 times more vitamin D, and 25% less saturated fat. Plus, more of the delicious, fresh-from-the-farm taste everyone loves.

Your love for your family isn’t ordinary, so why serve ordinary eggs?

Give them only the best–Eggland’s Best.

Better taste. Better nutrition.

Better eggs.®

Proud supporter of

L I F E Ñ Fo o d

Ham & Cheese Breakfast Bread You can think of this bread as a twist on one of your kid’s sandwiches: ham and cheddar, baked into a savory loaf. In the morning, all you need to do is slice and toast. One piece contains almost as much calcium as a cup of milk and, thanks to the grated zucchini, gets some veggies into your kid first thing.

Evening Prep 90 minutes Morning Cook 5 minutes Makes 1 loaf (16 slices) I N G R E DI E N T S 1½ cups white whole-wheat flour 1 cup all-purpose flour 2 tsp. baking powder 1 tsp. kosher salt ½ tsp. baking soda 2 cups grated sharp cheddar cheese 1½ cups grated zucchini 2/3 cup diced ham 2 Tbs. minced chives ½ cup milk ½ cup plain yogurt 2 lightly beaten large eggs 1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil Nonstick cooking spray

Whipped cream cheese (optional) MAKE IT

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Whisk flours, baking powder, salt, and baking soda in a large bowl.

Add cheese, zucchini, ham, and chives and combine, coating ingredients with flour mixture evenly.

2. Whisk together milk, yogurt, eggs, and oil in a medium bowl.

Pour over flour mixture and stir until just combined.

3. Pour into a 9x5-in. loaf pan coated with nonstick spray.

Bake until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, about 1 hour 10 minutes. Let stand 10 minutes, then remove from pan. Let cool completely.

4. If making ahead, refrigerate in an airtight container up to 4 days.

Before serving, toast slices. Top with cream cheese, if desired.

NUTRITION PER SLICE

193 calories; 8g protein; 11g fat (4g sat. fat); 17g carbs; 2g fiber; 1g sugar; 1mg iron; 256mg calcium; 326mg sodium

ADVERTISEMENT

GoodStuff M U S T- H AV E S & M U S T- D O S F O R M O M & FA M I LY

Voıce SHARE YOUR

How to Keep Walnuts Fresh Did you know? The best place to store walnuts is in the refrigerator or freezer. Learn more at

Parents invites you to join our reader panel. We want to know what you think!

walnuts.org

Bona.

For Simply Beautiful Floors.

With a century of professional flooring experience, Bona Clean means big spills are no big deal.

Bona Hardwood Floor Cleaner gently lifts and removes dirt and grime, and dries fast with no residue.

Plan Your Family Vacation Now Breathtaking Badlands, rich history, outdoor reaction and family fun— your North Dakota adventure awaits.

Get a free Travel Guide today. legendarynd.com

SEND

your thoughts and opinions

TEST

new products for moms and kids

GET

Reveal your floor’s natural

free samples, coupons, and more

beauty with waterbased solutions that are safe for your family

JOIN TODAY

and our planet.

at parents.com/meredithvoices and enter for a chance to win $10,000*

bona.com/bonaclean

Live a Little Nutty

TM

Reading makes me hungry, too.

Maybe it’s time to take a break and have a snack. If I were you, I’d go for my Maple Almond Butter. justins.com

PARENTSPROMO.COM

*NO PURCHASE OR SURVEY PARTICIPATION IS NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. Subject to Official Rules at Meredith.com/ReaderSweepstakesRules. The $10,000 Reader Survey Sweepstakes begins at 12:00AM ET on October 1, 2019 and ends at 11:59PM ET on September 30, 2020. Open to legal residents of the United States and the District of Columbia, 21 years or older. Sweepstakes is offered by Meredith Corporation and may be promoted by any of its publications in various creative executions online and in print at any time during the sweepstakes. Limit one (1) entry per person and per email address, per survey.

Void where prohibited. Sponsor: Meredith Corporation.

ADVICE AS YOUR CHILD GROWS

PREGNANCY

HOW TO

Be a Smart Traveler

by J A C K I E A S H T O N

Don’t stress about radiation exposure.

Rest assured that both types of scanners used in U.S. airports—the traditional metal detector and the millimeter wave scanner (that round phone-booth-like machine)—are safe. The former does not emit any radiation, and the latter beams low-frequency electromagnetic waves similar to those used in microwaves.

Unlike medical X-rays, these waves don’t penetrate the skin. The largest dose of radiation actually comes through the plane from the sun and other stars.

The amount of “cosmic radiation” you absorb during each flight varies considerably based on your altitude and

GET MORE AG E - S P E C I F I C T I P S Scan this code with your phone’s camera to subscribe to our daily newsletter (no app needed).

illustration by R O B I N R O S E N T H A L

the distance you fly. Experts say that two or three cross-country flights during pregnancy should be safe, and many would argue that more than that is fine.

latest travel recommendations and restrictions before your next trip.

Sources: Anate Aelion Brauer, M.D., IVF director at Shady Grove Fertility in New York City; Sherry Ross, M.D., author of She-ology: The Definitive Guide to Women’s Intimate Health. Period.

Keep blood flowing.

During pregnancy your blood becomes more concentrated, which increases your risk of blood clots known as deep vein thrombosis, or DVT. Sitting still for hours at a time on an airplane makes them even more likely. To offset the danger, drink plenty of water, because dehydration from low cabin humidity can make your blood thicker than usual. Just as important: Walk the aisles, do a few stretches every couple of hours, and pump your calves while you’re seated (alternate between pressing your toes and heels into the floor). You might consider wearing graduated elastic compression stockings on very long flights.

Watch out for germs.

This has certainly been on everyone’s mind recently, but you don’t necessarily need to cancel your babymoon. Keep your hands off germy spots such as seat pockets and tray tables. Swabbing them down with disinfectant wipes won’t sanitize them completely, but it’s better than nothing. You should also wash your hands before, during, and after the flight, and refrain from touching your face. It’s always wise to use an alcoholbased hand sanitizer throughout your journey. Most importantly, make sure to stay informed by checking the CDC’s

0 –12 M O N T H S

HOW TO

Use Pacifiers Wisely

by L A U R A A N A S TA S I A

Appreciate the benefits.

Babies love to suck, and with good reason. It helps them practice feeding and soothes them at the same time, which is a win-win situation for all.

Using a pacifier may also reduce your little one’s pain during immunizations, especially if you dip it in a sugar solution beforehand. The sucking reflex has an additional health benefit: Research shows that giving your baby a pacifier at bedtime can reduce the risk of SIDS. Doctors aren’t sure why this is the case, but a pacifier could help keep a baby’s airway open or prevent him from snoozing in a dangerous position.

Whatever the reason, the protective effect occurs even if the pacifier falls out while your baby is sleeping.

PA R E N T S

109 M A Y

2020

GRYPH & IVYROSE

AG E S + S TAG E S

Delay a bit if you’re nursing.

Pediatricians suggest waiting until your baby has the hang of breastfeeding, around 4 to 6 weeks, before introducing something else to suck on. You’ll know she’s ready if she’s gaining weight, latching on without hurting you, and creating lots of wet diapers. Even after nursing is going smoothly, keep in mind that not all babies feel the urge to suck. If your little one won’t take a pacifier, don’t force it. And avoid relying on one all the time, especially when your baby might be hungry. A pacifier may mistakenly quiet an infant who needs to be fed.

can start to seem like a huge headache.

But it doesn’t have to be one. At this age, food should be about fun, exploration, and practicing new skills. Try to provide a variety of healthy foods, and let your child decide how much to eat.

Compared with babies, toddlers are growing more slowly and need fewer calories; while it may seem like your child barely eats at all, chances are she’s fine. Even the pickiest kid is probably consuming more than you realize: An age-appropriate portion of pasta, potatoes, veggies, or fruit is equivalent to your toddler’s balledup fist, and her open palm is the size of a serving of meat.

Choose and clean carefully.

The best pacifiers have a soft nipple and a firm plastic shield that’s at least 11/2 inches across so it can’t fit all the way into your baby’s mouth. The shield should also have air holes. Note the expiration date on the package, and toss a pacifier if it changes color, tears, or cracks. Also don’t use a pacifier strap or holder that is long enough to wrap around your baby’s neck. For the first six months, clean pacifiers according to the directions. After that, washing a pacifier in soap and water is fine.

In a pinch, you can rinse it with water or use a pacifier wipe, but don’t clean it with your own mouth, since that can expose your little one to cavitycausing bacteria.

Source: Laura Jana, M.D., a pediatrician, coauthor of Heading Home With Your Newborn, and author of The Toddler Brain.

1–2 YEARS HOW TO

Foster Good Eating Habits

by H E AT H E R G O W E N WA L S H

Watch what he drinks.

Kids this age need only 16 ounces of dairy per day (including milk, yogurt, and cheese) to meet their calcium and vitamin D needs. However, many toddlers are dairy addicts, and if they drink too much milk, they may not be consuming enough iron-rich foods, which can lead to anemia. It’s also far better for your toddler to eat fresh fruit, which has more fiber and a lot fewer calories than juice. When possible, water should be your default beverage.

In addition, sucking milk from a bottle can increase the risk of tooth decay, so start weaning him from bottles around age 1 (if you haven’t already) and ditch them completely by 18 months.

Set a good example.

Ideally, you should serve your toddler the same food that you’re eating, except in smaller pieces. Eating together whenever possible will encourage her to mimic your food choices and table manners. Another bonus: Family meals have a definite start and stop time.

It’s tempting to let your toddler graze all day, but to prevent overeating, it’s important for her to learn how to eat at specific times of day and know what it’s like to feel full.

Limit “slurpable” meals.

Take the pressure off.

Toddlers often develop picky eating habits and refuse to sit still, so mealtime

PA R E N T S

1 10 M A Y

2020

Squeeze pouches and puree packets make feeding on the go much easier, but use them sparingly. Toddlers need to learn how to chew food, and portable meals do little to further their motor-

skill development. Your child should practice using his pincer grasp to pick up finger foods and bring them to his mouth. You can also introduce a rubbercoated spoon and fork soon after your child turns 1. The more opportunities he has to use utensils, the better.

Keep trying new foods.

It’s normal for a toddler to turn up her nose at unfamiliar things, but don’t stop serving them to her. It can take ten to 15 times before your child will even take a bite. Offer a new food at the beginning of the meal, when she is most likely to “open wide.” And avoid providing snacks close to mealtime, especially chips and other empty calories that fill her up.

WHEN YOUNG

CHILDREN LEARN WORDS, THEY ARE S I M U L T A N E O U S LY EXPOSED TO NEW IDEAS AND CONCEPTS.

Stop stressing about messes.

Don’t get upset if your toddler’s meal ends up on the table, the floor, or his face and clothing. Kids this age need to explore textures and bold flavors, even if they end up spitting them out, and smelling and touching are an important part of the process.

Still, you should know when to draw the line. If your child takes a few bites and then seems to be making a mess for the fun of it, it’s probably time to take his food away.

Sources: Julie Buchholtz, R.D.N., a dietitian at the Mayo Clinic Children’s Center, in Rochester, Minnesota; Jennifer Shu, M.D., Parents advisor and coauthor of Heading Home With Your Newborn and Food Fights; Elisa Zied, R.D., coauthor of Feed Your Family Right!

3–4 YEARS HOW TO

Boost Language Skills

by J A C Q U E L I N E VA S Q U E Z

Focus on new words.

The single best predictor of academic success for children throughout the school years is their vocabulary

when they start kindergarten. While many children have an impressive vocabulary as large as 1,000 words by age 3, experts say that it’s perfectly normal for preschoolers to hold on to some of their babyish expressions.

Make a point of introducing your child to new words while you go about your day-to-day activities. At the grocery store, explain that the loaf of bread is also considered a carbohydrate and that the chicken breast is poultry.

Kids often pick up the meaning of new words like these based on context, but it’s helpful to take a moment to teach your child what the word actually means. And don’t be afraid to err on the side of using more challenging words.

With a 2-year-old, you might ask, “Do you want to wear the yellow shirt?”

But you can broaden the idea when talking to your preschooler by asking, “How about putting on the yellow shirt?

This shade of yellow complements the color of your blue pants. That means the clothes go really well together.”

Expand on his interests.

When young children learn words, they are simultaneously exposed to new ideas and concepts. And providing lots of language interaction now will benefit your kid once he’s in the classroom. The next time he’s chatting about his latest obsession, throw a few terms he

www.BUSHEL and BERRY.com

A G E S + S TA G E S

doesn’t know into the discussion.

If he loves dinosaurs, explain what a paleontologist does, or if he’s into dogs, talk about the different breeds.

Then check out the dinosaur book at the library or point to the labradoodle you see the next time you’re taking a walk outside. Kids this age can retain an impressive amount of information about their favorite subjects, so it’s likely that the new words will stick.

Help her rephrase.

Even though you’re introducing more sophisticated terms, your preschooler may keep some patterns of speech from her toddler days. Don’t create a power struggle by telling her she said something incorrectly. If she asks you for some “milky” with her snack, just respond, “Sure, I’ll get you some milk.” Keep in mind that anxiety can play a role in this type of regression to baby talk. Whether it’s starting preschool or welcoming a new sibling to the family, big changes in your child’s life can make her want to be treated as if she were younger. It’s normal to take two steps forward and one step back in speech development. But be sure you’ve dropped these comfort words from your own vocabulary when speaking with her.

Help your preschooler practice speaking in sentences by giving him plenty of opportunities to get chatty. But first, turn off the TV, put down your phone , and make sure you’re fully engaged. When you give him your complete attention, you’ll be able to understand what your kid is trying to communicate and show him how to elaborate on what he’s saying. Pick activities that will make him want to vocalize his thoughts.

Talk about what’s going on in your neighborhood while you’re driving around, or ask questions about what’s happening in the story you’re reading.

And remember to keep it fun: The best lessons in speech and vocabulary come naturally when you don’t try too hard to teach.

Sources: Paul Holinger, M.D., author of What Babies Say Before They Can Talk; Jenn Mann, Psy.D., author of SuperBaby: 12 Ways to Give Your Child a Head Start in the First 3 Years; Catherine Snow, Ph.D., professor of education at the Harvard Graduate School of Education.

112 M AY

AT T E N T I O N SPAN NEEDS TO

BE EXERCISED, AND ALL SORTS OF ACTIVITIES T H AT R E Q U I R E C O N C E N T R AT I O N C A N H E L P.

2020

Spice things up.

Children are more likely to focus on something if it interests them, so you can help make a dull activity more fun by being creative. If you want to practice letters, for example, you might ask your child to form the letter S using rocks, toy cars, or wooden blocks, rather than having him use pencil and paper. You can practice writing letters with chalk, shaping letters out of Play-Doh, or even tracing a letter’s form with paint on a big easel to make the experience engaging.

Boost brainpower.

5–6 YEARS

HOW TO

Help Your Kid Stay Focused

by L E S L I E H A R R I S O ’ H A N L O N

Be direct.

Let him talk.

PA R E N T S

JUST LIKE OTHER B O DY PART S, YOUR CHILD’S

we’ll decide what to do next.” Sometimes even illustrating a routine on paper and posting it on the wall can serve as a good visual reminder.

Child-development experts say that most kids should be able to stay focused for two to five minutes multiplied by the year of their age. So that means that kids 5 and 6 years old should be able to concentrate on a task for between ten and 30 minutes. But a child’s attention span varies throughout the day and obviously depends on the situation. When you want your child to pay attention to what you’re saying, give clear, concise instructions.

Don’t shout requests from the kitchen to the living room. Stand in front of him, make eye contact, touch his shoulder, and say, “I need you to do this now.”

Just like other body parts, your child’s attention span needs to be exercised, and all sorts of activities that require concentration can help, such as doing puzzles or even helping to make dinner.

Look for opportunities to point out small and interesting details in your surroundings to your child. During a walk, stop to notice a bird’s nest hidden in a tree or an animal track in the dirt, or talk about the shape and feel of the rocks you see on the playground. As your child’s concentration increases, she’ll benefit both in and out of the classroom.

Sources: Mary Doty, a retired kindergarten teacher at Waimea Country School, on the Big Island of Hawaii; Margret Nickels, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Chicago; Neal Rojas, M.D., associate professor of pediatrics at the University of California, San Francisco.

7–9 YEARS

HOW TO

Raise a Good Sport

by H A R L E Y A . R O T B A R T, M . D .

Make it manageable.

If your child thinks a task is too hard for her, she may zone out and stop paying attention, so help her break down the project into smaller steps. For example, instead of telling your child to clean her room, you might say, “First, pick up all your blocks, and then I’ll come back and

Pick the right team.

By 7 or 8, your child is physically able to do much more than he was just a couple of years earlier. He has better hand-eye coordination and increased strength

shore joy.

What will you find in Ohio?

Splash away this summer on Ohio’s Lake Erie coast.

Join the generations of families who have created memories on the rides and shoreline at Cedar Point during its 150th anniversary season in 2020.

Ten perfect road trips await you at Ohio.org Cedar Point in Sandusky

A G E S + S TA G E S

and endurance. There’s a way for almost every child to get involved in a sport, regardless of skill. Some kids at this age develop a competitive streak and enjoy being on teams where winning is a goal.

But many children will have more fun on “recreational” teams, and there’s nothing wrong with “participation trophies” if they help bolster your kid’s self-esteem and encourage him to be active. Your child typically alternates between self-confidence and selfcriticism at this age, so help him find a setting that enhances the former. Every player has a role in a team’s success. When parents push their kids too hard, it often results in turning them away from sports entirely.

Find a healthy balance.

Another point to consider is how much your child should play and in how many different sports. Some parents and coaches believe playing year-round in a single sport is the only route to college scholarships and professional sports. But the reality for most kids is that sports careers will end at highschool graduation, if not before. The American Academy of Pediatrics discourages specializing in a single sport until late adolescence to avoid injuries. Childhood is the time to explore new activities to see which are the most fulfilling and fun. Balancing their love for one sport with other sports and nonathletic activities can be more enjoyable and reduce the chances of burnout.

Support life lessons.

Being a teammate provides a child with an opportunity to learn new social skills, including empathy, teamwork, and respect for authority.

Sports can also teach him about perseverance, patience, humility, overcoming disappointment, and accepting responsibility. Often, the virtues kids pick up playing sports carry over into their everyday lives.

Be a role model.

As you’re watching your child from the bleachers, remember she’s also observing you from the playing field.

Cheer politely and enthusiastically for

PA R E N T S

1 14 M A Y

2020

your kid’s team, but never jeer the other team, their parents, or the referees. You don’t necessarily need to be the loudest parent in the stands to show her that you’re proud. Besides, the most important cheering (and when needed, cheering up) occurs on the car ride home or at the dinner table that evening when it’s just you and your child, discussing the game.

10–12 YEARS

HOW TO

Ease School Stress

by D I A N E D E B R OV N E R

Put grades in perspective.

Kids this age may be taking tests and getting letter grades for the first time, and they’re increasingly aware of how they stack up against others academically. They want to do well, please their teachers and parents, and impress their friends—and it can be daunting for them to feel they need to be good at everything. Some kids avoid their work or goof off rather than admit they don’t understand the material, while others study much longer than they need to out of fear they might fail. While you certainly want to help instill a solid work ethic, remind your kid that a grade just shows how much he knows about a topic at a particular moment in time and that learning effective strategies and gradually improving over time is more important than getting A’s. To help dial back on the pressure, you could share a story about when you bombed a course or had a work setback—and everything turned out fine in the end.

Focus on study habits.

Middle school is relatively low stakes and the perfect time to focus on process rather than outcomes. Kids need to learn how to manage their time—keeping track of due dates and anticipating how long different assignments will take—and make sure they have the information

and supplies they need. You can help your child maintain an uncluttered work space and, when a big project seems overwhelming, encourage her to think through the process. Keep an eye on whether her concentration is getting derailed by texts from friends or the temptation to watch videos, which is understandable if she has to do homework on the computer, and remind her that she can enjoy her free time when her homework is done.

Send the right message.

Tweens are hypersensitive about being criticized or judged, so think about your tone and body language as well as your words. If your kid gets a C on a test and you pause for a minute before saying, “Oh well, that happens,” he’ll sense your mixed feelings. Even if he’s not doing as well as you’d hoped, it’s also important to accept where your child is academically and try not to compare him to other kids or siblings. No grade is a measure of your kid’s worth, and he has many important qualities—from kindness to a sense of humor—that aren’t measured by grades.

Encourage him to learn to advocate for himself, such as by assisting him in writing an email to the teacher to ask for extra help, and applaud him for the seemingly small stuff, like resolving a conflict during a group project. Be a consistent, unconditionally loving presence so he can muster the courage to take academic risks, and when he has a setback, have him brainstorm about coping strategies that will help him get back on track.

Sources: Parents advisor Lisa Damour, Ph.D., author of Under Pressure; Phyllis Fagell, author of Middle School Matters; Parents advisor Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Ph.D., author of Kid Confidence.

Send Us Your Kid Quotes!

BEST OF GIGGLES PROMOTION, PAGE 116

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO PARTICIPATE.

Send your funny story to kidquotes@ parents.com. Include your full mailing address, phone number, and your eligible child’s name and date of birth.

Subject to Terms and Conditions at parents.com/gigglespromotion. Open to legal residents of the 50 United States and the District of Columbia, 21 years or older. One submission per person per email address per day. Void where prohibited.

Sponsor: Meredith Corporation, 225 Liberty St., New York, NY 10281.

My son put the phone-charger cord under my armpit and asked, “Where should this go to give you more energy?”

Genevieve, 4

@sheebeewalkin

Cameron, 6

Trinity, 6

Before giving her an immunization, the doctor asked my daughter what she preferred: the needle or the nasal spray.

She replied, “I would prefer to have neither of them, thank you.”

Jess Walsh Weiler Cobleskill, NY

Maverick, 5

After watching me nurse my newborn for the first time, my son ran downstairs and said, “Dad, you have to come see this!

It’s so freaky—the baby is eating Mom!” Nikki Fincannon Spotsylvania, VA

GOT A FUNNY K I D Q U O T E TO SHARE? Scan this code with your phone’s camera to submit it for a chance to be featured (no app needed).

See the abbreviated terms on page 114.

PA R E N T S

1 16 M A Y

2020

When I told my future stepson that he would be the ring bearer in the upcoming wedding, he burst into tears.

I asked Cameron why he was so upset. He said, “I don’t want to walk down the aisle with a big bear.

It’s scary!”

My daughter overheard my husband and me say we should teach the kids how to play dominoes.

Excited, my daughter said, “We are going to play a game about pizzas?!”

Marjorie Dany Maple Grove, MN

Becky Disney York, PA

Harper, 4

I was telling my daughter that we might play mini golf on our upcoming vacation. She asked, “Will Mickey be there too?” @nberg33

ILLUSTRATIONS BY ELISE GRAVEL. PARENTS (ISSN 1083-6373); May 2020, Vol. 95, No. 5, is published monthly by Meredith Corporation, 1716 Locust Street, Des Moines, IA 50309-3023. Periodicals postage paid at Des Moines, IA, and at additional mailing offices. Subscription prices, $15.98 per year in the U.S.; $27.00 (U.S. dollars) in Canada; $49.00 (U.S. dollars) overseas. POSTMASTER: Send all UAA to CFS. (See DMM 507.1.5.2); NON-POSTAL AND MILITARY FACILITIES: Send address corrections to Parents, P.O. Box 37508, Boone, IA 50037-0508. In Canada: mailed under Publications Mail Sales Product Agreement No. 40069223; Canadian BN 12348 2887 RT. © Meredith Corporation 2020. All rights reserved. Your bank may provide updates to the card information we have on file. You may opt out of this service at any time. Printed in the U.S.A.

Dustin, 4

DULL, TIRED SKIN? FLIP THE SWITCH. MEET NEW BRIGHT BOOST. Powered by dullness-fighting Neoglucosamine.

Boosts cell turnover by 10x* for instantly brighter skin.

*Surface Cells, In Laboratory Studies ©J&JCI 2019

EXPERIENCE SKIN CARE INSPIRED BODY WASH

With ingredients like vitamin C, c ollagen, a nd h y a lu ro ni c a c i d .

Visibly healthier sk in in ju st one us e.

Available at