RS - June 2018

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THE #1 THING TO D O FOR YO UR SKIN

Get It Done!

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JUNE 2018

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Thoughts

“The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.

Don’t go back to sleep.”

OFFSET

— RU M I

8 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

Photograph by Johnér

E d i t o r ’s N o t e

S H O U L D H AV E R E N O VAT E D my kitchen three years ago. Maybe four. When the ice maker died and the back left burner stopped lighting, that should have been a clue. Other signs: the rubber seal on the fridge door fraying and the spring on the dishwasher door giving out. I was in renovation denial. There were so many aesthetic decisions, financial decisions, the inevitable design disagreements with my husband. And, of course, the reality of living without a kitchen was daunting!

The upside of my renovation procrastination was that I had more time to save and shop around for the right contractor and appliances and discounts. That’s right. You might think the editor in chief of Real Simple waves a magic wand and, voilà, a new kitchen appears (thank you if that’s what you thought), but the truth is my kitchen renovation probably went a lot like yours—though I hope yours didn’t have so many delays. Four snowstorms in a month in New York City all landed on my cabinet or appliance delivery days…and my rescheduled delivery days.

The joke in my oice was that if you wanted to know when the next snowstorm was coming, just ask Leslie when her refrigerator was supposed to arrive.

I finally got my kitchen done. I was inspired by readers who talked about how great it feels to finish tasks, which sparked the annual Get It Done issue you are reading now.

Starting on page 26, we present seemingly onerous, put-of-able projects you can finish in a single day. Boom! And, as always, we’re here to help you check things of your list, with our Organize This page (this month: the garage), our Make It Yourself recipe (cofee concentrate for iced cofee all summer), and our feature about hosting a fun and memorable gathering.

So get it done! And enjoy.

Follow me on Twitter @lyazel and Instagram @leslieyazel

10 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

JEREMY EGNER

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Contents June 2018

O N T H E C OV E R

Get it done! Feel more organized in 24 hours

Fast and fresh summer meals 26

114, 136

Make everything you own last longer

Money decisions made easy

The number one thing to do for your skin 106

93 The savory side of summer fruit

Cover Photograph by Chelsea Cavanaugh Prop St yling by Sarah Smar t

114

52

122

128

106

The prettiest white shirts

How to host a crowd-pleasing soiree

Keep appliances looking like new

C OV E R C R E D I T S

JUNE 2018 REAL SIMPLE

13

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SET YOU R BEAU TY FOU NDATION

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Shiny, summerready hair begins at the scalp. Luckily, purification is the season’s hottest hair care trend. Look for clarifying ingredients like charcoal to deep clean, restore balance, and enhance each strands’ appearance.

One-piece wonders like dresses and of-themoment wide-legged jumpsuits are summer wardrobe MVPs. Add a belt or a blazer for an on-point professional look, or wear it over your bathing suit for a sophisticated beach cover-up.

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Contents

26

93

42

One-day home projects

Insuring fuzzy family members

Raise your grilling game

8

Thoughts Editor’s Note

10

Real Simple 24 /7

18

Your Words

20

The Short List

22

what we love Best of the Month

25

Get It Done, Today Check that big task off your list by sundown 26 Pretty Smart Beauty buys to save your sanity 30 The Staple Canned tuna

35

Little Helpers Clever items that make every day better 36 My Favorite Piece Orlando Soria shares his favorite sofas 38

the realist How to Make a Perfect Ice Cream Scoop 41 Things Cooks Know Become a backyard grill master 42 Organize This Declutter your garage Now What?!?

Solutions for life’s mini disasters

45

46

Road Test Our editors pick the best sunscreens for your face 50 The 6 Best Ways to Keep Your Skin Beautiful Top dermatologists dole out tips Drugstore Insider Shop the aisles with makeup artist Mario Dedivanovic

The Summer Gift Guide Unique picks to spoil dads, grads, hosts, and newlyweds 61 Real Simplifier Pack everything into a carry-on 69 The Essential Style a shift dress

72

relating Why You Need a Family Motto Simple words that can instill family values 75 Good Read Dawn Anahid MacKeen on a stranger’s gift 81

52

57

The Vets Will See You Now Pet problems, solved 86 Modern Manners Catherine Newman offers advice

88

balance Do You Need the Extra Insurance?

What kinds of coverage are worth the cost 93 Making It Work What’s your trick for letting go of work thoughts when on vacation?

96 Unplug and Recharge Build a healthy relationship with your devices 98 Ahhh Take a breather

105

features How to Make Everything in Your Home Last 100 Years (Give or Take) Protect the things you own 106

White Shirts for the Win Fresh takes on your favorite wardrobe staple 122 Throw a Party with Heart Strategies to elevate any gathering 128

food 5 Easy Dinners

136

Make It Yourself Cold brew

142

Road Test Condiments

144

Big Batch Pasta salad

146

The Struggle Is Real

150

Summer Fling Tasty dishes starring in-season fruit 114

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16 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

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ALWAYS ON SET. Elnett Satin hairspray is the secret of celebrity hairstylists.

It holds strong but brushes out effortlessly. So you can style and restyle—on set and everywhere.

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R E B E C C A DA LY S H O P S M A RT

S E N I O R FA S H I O N E D I TO R AT R E A L S I M P L E

Closet essential: A great pair of sunglasses. They’re a perfect accessory year-round—not just for summer.

Best styling trick: Adjust the proportion of each piece to work for your body, whether that means tucking in a sweater or top, pushing up sleeves, or belting a dress.

Summer plans: My husband and I are driving down the Pacific Coast Highway from Oregon to San Diego. @REBECCADALYNYC ON INSTAGRAM

Sign up at realsimple.com/ shoppingnewsletter.

Dress easy We found the best bras to complement your favorite top—our picks may surprise you!

Find out more at realsimple.com/whiteshirt.

#R SROADTRIP Summer travel season is upon us.

Whether you’re going on a crosscountry trip or vacationing abroad, we want to see your adventures. Tag your photos with #rsroadtrip for the chance to be featured on our Instagram.

At-home spa PINTEREST @REALSIMPLE

Get ready to relax.

Transform your bathroom into a peaceful retreat in a few simple steps.

See how at realsimple.com/ spabathroom.

18 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

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Yo u r W o r d s

What’s your best piece of gardening advice?

I paint all the handles of my gardening tools neon colors so they don’t blend in with the grass.

NYNA MCKIT TRICK, C O LT S N EC K , N E W J E R S E Y

# R S L OV E “ H A P P I N E S S I S A S I N K F U L L O F F LOW E R S A N D A S W E E T P U P. ” @ T H E Y E L LOW N OT E

I keep a bar of soap in my garden tool bag and run my nails over it before I start gardening.

It prevents dirt from getting under my nails, and I don’t have to scrub much after.

BARBARA BA Z AR, FAIRFIELD, CONNECTICUT

Weed your garden first thing in the morning. It’s a really pleasant way to start your day; I like to do it while enjoying my coffee.

And since the ground is still moist from the dew, the weeds are easier to pull. @V TFARMGIRL

Neem oil. It’s natural and acts as a fungicide, insecticide, and miticide. It can be used on fruits, vegetables, and houseplants too.

Join a garden club in your area. I’ve benefited from a wonderful set of teachers and mentors who are passionate about gardening, the environment, and giving back to their community.

MEREDITH WARD, RID GEFIELD, CONNECTICUT

I listen to books via the Audible app on my phone. If I am listening to a cliffhanger, gardening can go on for hours.

Luckily, I haven’t pruned anything to the ground while waiting to hear “whodunit”!

MIRIAM PAIGE, MANHAT TAN BE ACH, CALIFORNIA

Be patient.

A L I C E P RO B ST

20 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

CONNIE LEGATH, BE THLEHEM, PENNSYLVANIA

If you have pets, make sure you check what’s safe in case they eat your plants. There’s a good chance they will, especially if you have a curious dog like mine.

MERCEDES SANTANA , LOS ANGELES

Live in a new house for a year before making big plant investments so you really know the sun and water patterns.

JES S HEIMER

Put a $5 plant in a $10 hole. Enrich the soil and you will be rewarded with healthy plants.

RACHEL M C NELLIS, WESTBRO OK , CONNECTICUT

Don’t forget to wear sunscreen and a big hat.

VERONICA RAMIRE Z

Use a folding stool to sit on. I’m a physical therapist and a gardening fan, so I know how hard the bending is on our backs.

Adding a simple stool improves the spine posture and reduces strain so you can spend more time digging in the dirt.

MICHELLE COLMAN, SAN DIEGO

Put a mailbox in the garden. When my mom replaced her old mailbox, I snagged it and put it in my garden to hold my gloves, clippers, hand spade, and garden ties. The things I use the most are protected and always right where I need them.

SUSAN FISHER, L AS VEGAS

The women who shared the photos in this column will receive a pair of our Rue earrings. (Use code SIMPLY20 for 20 percent off at realsimplestyle.com.)

Want to be considered for this column? Tag photos on Instagram with #RSLOVE.

Mulch everything.

It saves water and creates an energy source around the plant.

Newspaper, shredded cardboard, and straw work well.

CHRISTINA WIL SON, SUNNYVALE, CALIFORNIA

To keep rabbits from eating my tulips, lilies, and other yummy flowers, I spray them about once a week with homemade garlic oil. I marinate crushed garlic cloves in vegetable oil, put the mixture in a spray bottle with water in equal parts, and spray it on and around the plants. It works like a charm and lasts through a rainfall.

# R S L OV E

“ I T ’ S N O S U R P R I S E T H E S E DA H L I A S A R E K N OW N A S T H E ‘ W I Z A R D O F OZ ’ VA R I E T Y. ” @ FA R M G I R L S K

ERIK A ROS S, WAUSAU, WISCONSIN

Just start. I always used to think gardening was so hard and took a lot of time and effort.

One May I just decided to plant a few seeds and be sure to water them daily. Next thing I knew, I had a bunch of kale and herbs I didn’t even know what to do with!

Now I’m an avid gardener and love growing my own healthy produce.

K ATIE NANAIMO, BRITISH COLUMBIA , CANADA

NEXT QUESTION...

How do you get your family to help with organization?

Send an email to yourwords@ realsimple.com and let us know your answer to this question.

Your response could appear on these pages.

Stretch and wear good shoes.

You are exercising your body in many different ways while in the garden.

N ATA S H JA S Z O RT Y K A , S I N K I N G S P R I N G, P E N N S Y LVA N I A

JUNE 2018 REAL SIMPLE

21

The Short List F I V E B O O K S T H AT W O N ’ T D I S A P P O I N T

By Nora Horvath

Inventive debut What’s the secret to happiness? In Katie Williams’s Tell the Machine Goodnight, the answer lies in the Apricity 480, a device that analyzes a person’s saliva and makes recommendations (find religion, adopt a dog). Apricity employee Pearl is baffled when her son refuses to use the machine, and she must reckon with his choice. This timely novel delves into the desire to optimize our messy lives.

Solo adventure In a society that increasingly values connectivity, moments of solitude are hard to come by.

But social scientists have found that time to oneself is essential to happiness and health. In Alone Time, Stephanie Rosenbloom reflects on her solo trips to Paris, Florence, Istanbul, and New York and offers even the most social of social butterflies strategies to reap the benefits of being alone.

Musings on loss Genre-bending thriller In her latest novel, Providence, Caroline Kepnes (You) puts a supernatural spin on suspense. When Jon Bronson is freed four years after being kidnapped, he has no memory of captivity.

All he wants to do is reconnect with his soulmate, Chloe, and move on. But he soon discovers he has the power to kill people in an instant, putting everyone he knows in danger. This detective novel, love story, and thriller rolled into one explores the choices we make to protect the ones we love.

In her tender novel, The Dependents, Katharine Dion addresses the inevitable hurt that follows the loss of a loved one. While Gene Ashe prepares for his wife Maida’s funeral, he thinks back on their loving marriage.

But as his children and old friends share stories about Maida that shock him, he realizes how little he really knew about his lifelong partner.

Dion’s debut is a heartbreaking meditation on the long process that is healing from grief.

Great for book club Having run away from home years ago, Amar is estranged from his conservative Indian parents when his sister announces her engagement— and her hope that the family can reunite for the wedding in California. Amar’s homecoming will reopen old wounds for all. In A Place for Us, Fatima Farheen Mirza speaks to the roles religion and expectation play in a family and the clash of values between generations.

P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y K ATJ A G R E E F F

For more book recommendations, visit realsimple.com/ newbooks.

22 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

Photograph by Chelsea Cavanaugh

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E V E RY T H I N G O U R E D I T O R S A R E B U Z Z I N G A B O U T T H I S M O N T H

F U N D R A I S E T H E M O D E R N WAY

R E D I S C OV E R A C L A S S I C

T R AV E L K I N D LY

Blending products and purpose, Boon Supply Co.—launched May 1—offers beautiful everyday essentials, like the grocery bags above, that are both affordable (most items cost less than $25) and charitable. Just register a group you care about, such as your local school, and ask friends and family to shop from the online catalog; 50 percent of proceeds fund your cause. Get started at boonsupply.com.

Beginning June 3, kids (and kids at heart) can dive into the silly old bear’s world when Winnie-the-Pooh: Exploring a Classic comes to Atlanta’s High Museum of Art. The exhibition showcases original illustrations and manuscripts.

A companion book, with images of more original documents, is available online. Order tickets at high.org.

Planning a getaway? With booking site Kind Traveler, your vacation dollars can go to a good cause and stretch a little further at the same time. Donate $10 (or more) per room per night to a local, national, or international charity in exchange for discounted rates and other offers at hotels across the U.S., Mexico, and more. Visit kindtraveler.com to book.

Photograph by Chelsea Cavanaugh

JUNE 2018 REAL SIMPLE

25

W H AT W E LO V E

Paint Your Front Door G AT H E R YO U R S U P P L I E S .

You’ll need a drop cloth, a bucket, a sponge, dishwashing liquid, dry rags, a medium-grit sanding sponge, a vacuum, painter’s tape, primer, spackling paste or wood filler, a 1½- to 2-inch angled brush, a highdensity mini foam roller, and paint in your chosen color.

F O R A S M O O T H PA I N T J O B ,

Get It Done, Today Chances are your to-do list is home to some floaters: the tasks that you want to tackle but that just feel too daunting. We’re here to prove that six of these all-too-procrastinatable projects can be completed in one day—or less. Get your pen poised to cross these off your list.

26 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

take the door of the hinges and lay it over a pair of sawhorses, says painter Brian Bedenbaugh of Blue Sky Painting in Rochester, New York, and the site Thumbtack. If painting outdoors, do so in the early morning or late afternoon (direct sun speeds up drying, which can cause bubbling). Tape cardboard across the empty door opening or install a baby gate to prevent kids and pets from wandering through. Remove hardware and weather stripping from

Illustrations by Boyoun Kim

the door and get rid of grime with dishwashing liquid so the paint properly sticks to the door. Wipe down with water and let dry. Lightly sand the surface with the sanding sponge, then vacuum up the dust and wipe clean with a rag.

Apply tape to protect hinges and window panes.

P R I M E T H E D O O R and fill dents with spackling paste; use wood filler for larger holes. After the primer and filler dry, sand the door and wipe clean. Coat detailed areas, like around a window, with the angled brush.

Then use the foam roller on the rest of the door to avoid brushstrokes. Apply one coat, wait four hours or until it’s dry to the touch (quick-drying paints need only one to two hours to dry), and apply another coat, says Rick Watson, vice president of product development for SherwinWilliams. Let the door dry for about three hours, and enlist another person to help you reinstall (hanging the door properly is a diicult job to do alone).

— TA M A R A K R AU S

Organize Your Photos P R I N T E D P H O T O S : Start by gathering, sorting, and identifying your photos, says Cathi Nelson, founder of the Association of Personal Photo Organizers and author of Photo Organizing Made Easy: Going from Overwhelmed to Overjoyed. Make one pile for album-worthy photos, one pile for art projects, and another for irreplaceable photos that will go in a photo-safe box. Use the 20/80 rule when sifting through photos: Keep 20 percent (the ones that tug at your heartstrings or help tell the story of your or the subject’s life) and toss the rest. Get rid of duplicates, blurry images, and most scenery shots. On the back of the photos, note the date, location, and people with a pencil (try Stabilo All pencils, which won’t bleed through). Then decide if you want to organize chronologically or thematically (birthdays, holidays, vacations) and what type of photo storage you’re going to use (archival photo box or binder). To hedge against damage or loss, scan your prints—services like Fotobridge can do it for you (up to 10,000 images at once) in about three weeks.

D I G I TA L P H O T O S : Your most beloved images—scans of prints and ones you took digitally—should be stored in three places (think a flash drive, a computer, and a form of cloud storage).

If you’re overwhelmed by zillions of digital photos, use Google Photos, which lets you search images by person, date, and place, so you can find what you need instantly without creating albums if you don’t want to.

Make sure to set aside about 30 minutes every month to clear out clutter on your phone’s camera roll and complete a backup. When you’re done, pick some recent favorites to actually do something with: Post a video montage of your vacation on social media or print a few recent photos of your kids to send to older relatives who aren’t online.

— TA M A R A K R AU S

JUNE 2018 REAL SIMPLE

27

W H AT W E LO V E

Clean Your Rugs and Carpets If you knew how many pounds (yes, pounds) of dirt were lurking in your carpets, you might think before you stepped. Wool rugs are particularly good at hiding dirt, and debris can damage the structure of the rug over time, says Lisa Wagner, author of the blog Rug Chick and a certified rug specialist. Here’s how to prevent that.

S M A L L N AT U R A L RU G S ( C O T T O N O R W O O L ) :

L A RG E R A R E A RU G S :

Wash colorfast rugs by hand with a mild detergent, using a soft brush or a sponge. Rinse thoroughly with water mixed with a small amount of white vinegar to remove residue. Roll it inside a thick towel, then stand on it to remove as much moisture as you can. Hang the rug so it dries as quickly as possible.

Hire a pro for a deep cleaning every few years. In between, vacuum regularly and deal with spills ASAP. If the dyes are colorfast, dampen the area with a sponge dipped in seltzer, using as little liquid as possible. Blot with a white cotton cloth, then sandwich the stain between two towels and stand on top briefly to remove excess water.

If the dyes aren’t colorfast, use a mixture of four parts cold water and one part white vinegar, or sprinkle cornstarch on top and vacuum after 24 hours.

S M A L L S Y N T H E T I C RU G S : If the rug is very sturdy and machine woven, clean it in the washing machine on the gentle cycle. Hang it in a spot where it will dry quickly.

WA L L-T O - WA L L C A R P E T:

You can rent a steam cleaner, but a real carpet cleaning is best left to the pros (visit carpet-rug.org to find providers). Vacuum before the crew arrives— they’ll move the furniture.

The cleaning is quick, but wear only white socks on the carpet until it’s fully dry (up to 24 hours). To maintain, treat stains by blotting with a white cotton cloth.

Pretest a carpet cleaner in an out-of-the-way area. If it’s OK, apply a small amount to the white cloth and blot.

Then blot with water.

— K AT I E H O L D E F E H R

28 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

Make Your Home Smarter C H E C K YO U R W I - F I .

Slow Wi-Fi networks make smart home systems less efective, says Geek Squad agent Ismael Matos. You’ll want a powerful router, like one from Linksys or Netgear. If you need help setting it up, call your internet service provider or a tech support company.

S WA P I N S M A RT B U L B S .

They fit most fixtures, let you turn the lights on or of with your phone or voice, and are energy eicient.

Upgrade your thermostat too: Popping out the old one and installing a Nest (or similar smart device) into the spot isn’t diicult and takes about half an hour.

S E T YO U R P R E F E R E N C E S .

Follow your devices’ in-app guides to, for example, set the HVAC to turn on 10 minutes before you get home. Then link the devices to your voice assistant.

— L AU R E N P H I L L I P S

Research Your Family History B U I L D A FA M I LY A RC H I V E .

Get Your Valuables Appraised J E W E L RY: Look for an unbiased appraiser you can trust to give you an accurate estimate of the cost of replacing or repairing the item, says Amanda Gizzi, a spokesperson for Jewelers of America. “We suggest you look for someone who is neutral, in no way trying to buy the piece,” she advises. Most reputable jewelry stores have an appraiser on staf, or you can find an independent appraiser through the National Association of Jewelry Appraisers. Independent appraisers are ideal for people with larger jewelry collections, says Gizzi, because they can come to you and often specialize in certain materials. Have your pieces reappraised every few years to ensure each is properly covered.

F U R N I T U R E : If you have a feeling your bureau is valuable, how do you know it’s worth it to fork over the $100 or more to get it appraised? There are a few clues, says Danielle Rahm, managing director at New York

Fine Art Appraisers. Age is the first: Items made in the first half of the 19th century or earlier are more likely to be valuable than newer pieces. Then look for clues that it was handmade, like uneven spacing and rough, rounded edges. Some pieces may have a maker’s mark or a label that can provide more information about the piece—it might be hidden, says Rahm. If chances seem good the item is valuable, find an appraiser through the Appraisers Association of America or the American Society of Appraisers. (Many will do online appraisals based on high-quality photos; for a higher cost, they’ll come to you.) Avoid cleaning the piece until you’ve had it looked at, since you could damage original patina.

Write down everything you know about your family, including dates and locations of significant events (birth, death, marriage), says Jill N. Crandell, director of the Center for Family History and Genealogy at Brigham Young University.

Search your home for documents and photos, then cross-check your info with relatives and ask about what else they know.

U S E DATA B A S E S I T E S .

Fill in holes and gather additional records on a site like Ancestry. Document what you find and share new info with interested relatives.

ROA D B L O C K ? C A L L A P RO.

A genealogist can uncover hard-to-find information and help you parse records you’ve already found, says Diana Elder, an accredited genealogist in Highland, Utah. Find a credentialed one through icapgen.org or bcgcertification.org (expect to pay $20 to $60 per hour).

— B R A N D I B R OX S O N

— N O R A H O R VAT H

For tips on storing your treasures, visit realsimple.com/jewelry.

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W H AT W E LO V E

Pretty Smart L I P C O L O R T H A T S T AY S P U T F R O M M O R N I N G T O M I D N I G H T A N D S E V E N O T H E R B E AU T Y B U Y S T O S AV E YO U R S A N I T Y

By Heather Muir Maffei

30 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

Photograph by Chelsea Cavanaugh

P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y K ATJ A G R E E F F

D I O R A D D I C T L I P TAT T O O

These vibrant tints go on like creamy gloss (no mirror needed) but dry in seconds to become a transfer-proof stain that lasts an impressive 10 hours. Our tester was shocked she never had to reapply. The brush deposits a comfy watercolor-like veil onto lips so you always look done—but not overdone.

TO BUY: $31 each; dior.com.

W H AT W E LO V E

One: It looks chic in a cup next to your sink. Two: Its supersoft, tapered charcoal bristles make brushing efficient and painless.

TO BUY: $4 each; hello-products.com.

DESIGN.ME H O L D. M E T H R E E WAY S H A I R S P R AY

Free up coveted bathroom space!

With a flick of the nozzle, this bottle dispenses a light-, medium-, or stronghold formula for shiny, flake-free style. TO BUY: $22; designmehair.com.

KO R A O RG A N I C S NONI R ADIANT EYE OIL

Roll this refreshing oil onto undereyes morning and night to help depuff, brighten, and smooth. TO BUY: $38; us.koraorganics.com.

K I E H L’ S G L O W FORMUL A SKIN H Y D R AT O R

Get up and glow with this antioxidant moisturizer. Pomegranate extract improves skin over the long term, while illuminating minerals give you a subtle tint on contact. TO BUY: $38; kiehls.com.

For more smart beauty buys, head to realsimple.com/ beautyproducts.

32 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

G L O S S I E R L I D S TA R

Not great at doing your eye makeup?

These tubes will have everyone fooled.

Swipe the buttery, pearlescent creams over your lids with the brush, then blend with your fingers for a modern, creasefree, one-and-done look. TO BUY: $18 each; glossier.com.

DAV I N E S T H E C I RC L E C H RO N I C L E S

Choose from five 10-minute at-home hair treatments based on your needs (shine, repair, etc.).

Bonus: The slim packs are much easier to keep in the shower than bulky tubs.

TO BUY: $9.50 each; us.davines.com.

K AT E S O M E RV I L L E COLD CREAM CLEANSER

Forget everything you know about traditional cold creams. This whipped formula has honey to remove waterproof makeup without stripping skin. Massage, then towel off. TO BUY: $48; katesomerville.com.

S M E A R S : B R I A N H E N N ; P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

H E L L O B PA - F R E E T O O T H B RU S H W I T H C H A RC OA L BRISTLES

DON’T LET UNCONTROLLED MODERATE-TO-SEVERE ECZEMA HOLD YOU BACK

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Summary of Information about DUPIXENT® (dupilumab) (DU-pix’-ent) Injection, for Subcutaneous Use What is DUPIXENT? • DUPIXENT is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderate-to-severe atopic dermatitis (eczema) that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin (topical), or who cannot use topical therapies.

• DUPIXENT can be used with or without topical corticosteroids.

• It is not known if DUPIXENT is safe and effective in children.

Who should not use DUPIXENT? Do not use DUPIXENT if you are allergic to dupilumab or to any of the ingredients in DUPIXENT. See the end of this summary of information for a complete list of ingredients in DUPIXENT. What should I tell my healthcare provider before using DUPIXENT? Before using DUPIXENT, tell your healthcare provider about all your medical conditions, including if you: • have eye problems • have a parasitic (helminth) infection • have asthma • are scheduled to receive any vaccinations. You should not receive a “live vaccine” if you are treated with DUPIXENT. • are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known whether DUPIXENT will harm your unborn baby.

• are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. It is not known whether DUPIXENT passes into your breast milk.

Tell your healthcare provider about all of the medicines you take including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. If you have asthma and are taking asthma medicines, do not change or stop your asthma medicine without talking to your healthcare provider.

How should I use DUPIXENT? • See the detailed “Instructions for Use” that comes with DUPIXENT for information on how to prepare and inject DUPIXENT and how to properly store and throw away (dispose of) used DUPIXENT pre-filled syringes.

• Use DUPIXENT exactly as prescribed by your healthcare provider.

• DUPIXENT comes as a single-dose pre-filled syringe with needle shield.

• DUPIXENT is given as an injection under the skin (subcutaneous injection).

• If your healthcare provider decides that you or a caregiver can give the injections of DUPIXENT, you or your caregiver should receive training on the right way to prepare and inject DUPIXENT. Do not try to inject DUPIXENT until you have been shown the right way by your healthcare provider.

• If you miss a dose of DUPIXENT, give the injection within 7 days from the missed dose, then continue with the original schedule.

If the missed dose is not given within 7 days, wait until the next scheduled dose to give your DUPIXENT injection.

Rx Only

• If you inject more DUPIXENT than prescribed, call your healthcare provider right away.

• Your healthcare provider may prescribe other topical medicines to use with DUPIXENT. Use other prescribed topical medicines exactly as your healthcare provider tells you to.

What are the possible side effects of DUPIXENT? DUPIXENT can cause serious side effects, including: • Allergic reactions. Stop using DUPIXENT and go to the nearest hospital emergency room if you get any of the following symptoms: fever, general ill feeling, swollen lymph nodes, hives, itching, joint pain, or skin rash.

• Eye problems. Tell your healthcare provider if you have any new or worsening eye problems, including eye pain or changes in vision.

The most common side effects of DUPIXENT include: injection site reactions, eye and eyelid inflammation, including redness, swelling, and itching, or cold sores in your mouth or on your lips Tell your healthcare provider if you have any side effect that bothers you or that does not go away.

These are not all of the possible side effects of DUPIXENT. Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to FDA 1-800-FDA-1088.

General information about the safe and effective use of DUPIXENT. Medicines are sometimes prescribed for purposes other than those listed in a Patient Information leaflet. Do not use DUPIXENT for a condition for which it was not prescribed. Do not give DUPIXENT to other people, even if they have the same symptoms that you have. It may harm them.

This is a summary of the most important information about DUPIXENT. If you would like more information, talk with your healthcare provider. You can ask your pharmacist or healthcare provider for more information about DUPIXENT that is written for healthcare professionals.

For more information about DUPIXENT, go to www.DUPIXENT.com or call 1-844-DUPIXENT (1-844-387-4936) What are the ingredients in DUPIXENT? Active ingredient: dupilumab Inactive ingredients: L-arginine hydrochloride, L-histidine, polysorbate 80, sodium acetate, sucrose, and water for injection Manufactured by: Regeneron Pharmaceuticals, Inc., Tarrytown, NY 10591 U.S. License # 1760; Marketed by sanofi-aventis U.S. LLC, (Bridgewater, NJ 08807) and Regeneron Pharmaceuticals, Inc. (Tarrytown, NY 10591) / DUPIXENT is a registered trademark of Sanofi Biotechnology / ©2017 Regeneron Pharmaceuticals, Inc. / sanofi-aventis U.S. LLC. All rights reserved. Issue Date: April 2017

W H AT W E LO V E

Quick Ideas

The Staple Canned tuna has come a long way since the mayo-laden sandwiches of our youth. You can ind great-tasting, sustainably caught tuna right at your local grocery store—no special ordering necessary. Check the label for “pole and line caught” (or “pole caught”) and the blue Marine Stewardship Council seal, two good signs you’ve chosen an environmentally friendly variety. Unmold tuna on top of crunchy romaine or incorporate it into a bracing Niçoise-inspired pasta salad. Tuna cakes that are crispy on the outside, tender on the inside hit the spot eaten alone or on a toasted bun. And who knew a sophisticated canapé, salty with capers and cream cheese, could come from a tin can?

1 T U N A - O R EC C H I E T T E SAL AD

Toss 12 oz. canned tuna with 8 oz. cooked orecchiette, 1 cups each halved cherry tomatoes and blanched green beans, thinly sliced red onion, cup fresh basil, cup chopped olives, cup olive oil, 3 Tbsp. red wine vinegar, and 1 tsp. kosher salt. Toss well.

2 TUNA CAKES WITH RÉMOUL ADE

Combine 12 oz. canned tuna, 1 cup each panko and mayonnaise, cup chopped scallions, and tsp. each kosher salt and black pepper. Form into 4 patties and coat in cup panko. Cook in 3 Tbsp. oil in a nonstick skillet over medium, flipping once, until golden, 8 minutes; transfer to paper towels. Combine cup mayonnaise, cup each chopped parsley and dill pickle relish, 1 Tbsp. grainy mustard, and 1 tsp. hot sauce; serve with tuna cakes.

3 PUMPERNICKEL A N D T U N A TOA S T S

P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y C E C I L I A E L G U E R O F O R K AT E R YA N I N C .

Toss 12 oz. canned tuna with cup olive oil, 2 thinly sliced shallots, 2 Tbsp. chopped chives, 1 Tbsp. capers, the zest and juice of 1 lemon, and tsp. each crushed red pepper and kosher salt. Spread 4 slices toasted pumpernickel with 8 oz. cream cheese and top with tuna mixture.

By D awn Perr y Recipes by Robin Bashinsky

Photograph by Corey Olsen

JUNE 2018 REAL SIMPLE

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W H AT W E LO V E

A two-hour charge powers the batter y for a year.

BUG BEGONE WIPES

S M A RT L O C K

No more forgotten combinations: This gym essential releases at the touch of your fingerprint.

Or use the coordinating app to unlock it via your smartphone.

The shackle is made from reinforced stainless steel.

TO BUY: Tapplock One, $99; tapplock.com.

Swipe this towelette over skin for fourhour protection against flies, ticks, and gnats.

The formula is DEETfree and contains peppermint oil, olive oil, and vitamin E. TO BUY: Aunt Fannie’s Mosquito Wipes, $10 for 10; auntfannies.com.

Little Helpers

U S B O U T L E T P L AT E

Free up electrical outlets with this simpleto-install wall plate complete with two USB ports to charge phones, tablets, and other mobile devices.

TO BUY: SnapPower USB Charger 2, $23; snappower.com.

S I X S M A RT P RO D U C T S TO M A K E YO U R L I F E E A S I E R

By Brandi Broxson

UPGR ADED CL ASSIC

The multitasking oil now comes with a flexible, eight-inch straw to help you access hard-toreach places, like lawn mower blades, kitchen cabinets, and luggage wheels.

TO BUY: WD-40 EZ-Reach, $8; walmart.com.

Apply these stickers to moving boxes or storage bins and snap photos of contents with the associated app.

Later, scan the codes for a reminder of what’s inside.

TO BUY: Quick Peek labels, $10 for 32; amazon.com.

36 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

P E T- G RO O M I N G T O O L S

WetBrush brings its gentle designs to canines.

The wide-tooth comb removes tangles, and the double-sided brush smooths long or short hair.

TO BUY: PetBrush Detangling Comb, $8, and PetBrush Ultimate Groomer, $15; petsmart.com.

P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

M OV I N G - M A D E E ASY L ABEL S

W H AT W E LO V E

My Favorite Piece A P RO ’ S P I C K F O R O N E M U ST- H AV E DESIGN ELEMENT

Interior designer and author of Get It Together! An Interior Designer’s Guide to Creating Your Best Life WHAT:

Statement settee

WHY: “A sculptural sofa looks great from all sides, so you can tuck it against a wall or leave it floating in the center of the space.”

Opt for a vibrant shade or lush fabric for maximum impact.

FEMININE

TA I L O R E D

Blush velvet acts as a neutral, so you can pile on colorful textiles. Or play up the pink by accenting it with shades of white.

TO BUY: Losange Settee, $1,998; anthropologie.com.

Clean lines and comfortable bolster pillows make this cozy perch a great fit for a small living room or study. TO BUY: Royce Love Seat, $1,399; zgallerie.com.

C O M PA C T

R E T RO

ELEGANT

Add a comfortable seat in an entryway or small nook with this unobtrusive upholstered bench. TO BUY: Madison Park Armelle Tufted Settee, $500; kohls.com.

Customize this angular love seat with your choice of 65 fabrics and three wood stains. TO BUY: Hughes Loveseat, $1,499; joybird.com.

The metal frame offers an unexpected element to this curvaceous and cool sofa.

TO BUY: Vero Settee, $699; westelm.com.

38 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

B y Ta m a r a K r a u s

TO P R I G H T : Z E K E R U E L A S ; H E A D S H OT C O U RT E SY O F O R L A N D O S O R I A ; P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

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U N C O M M O N S O L U T I O N S T O E V E RY D AY P RO B L E M S

H OW TO M A KE A PE R FECT I CE CR E A M S CO O P For parlor-worthy scoops, take the ice cream out of the freezer five minutes before serving, says Lauren Wilson, founder of Sweet Lo’s Handmade Ice Cream in Seattle. If it’s a pint container, pull the scooper around the outer edge for a perfect sphere.

Have a quart or gallon container? Start away from your body and pull the scoop toward you. Try to skim the scooper across the top instead of digging in.

Another trick: Dip your scooping tool in water between scoops to prevent ice cream from sticking to it, says Bella Loggins, director of retail operations for McConnell’s Fine Ice Creams. Before returning the sweet stuff to the back of the freezer (never the door), add a piece of waxed paper under the lid to help keep ice crystals from forming.

By Brandi Broxson

OFFSET

We tested more than 200 frozen treats. For our six favorites, go to realsimple.com/ frozenfavorites.

P h o t o g r a p h b y C o n Po u l o s

JUNE 2018 REAL SIMPLE

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THE REALIST

Things Cooks Know S T R A T E G I E S , T E C H N I Q U E S , A N D T I P S O N B A C K YA R D G R I L L I N G — F RO M T H E R E A L S I M P L E T E ST K I TC H E N TO YO U R S

By Grace Elkus

How to Grill Fish Without Having It Fall Apart H E AT, C L E A N , A N D S E A S O N YO U R G R I L L Treat your grill like a cast-iron pan—you want it smoking hot, clean, and well seasoned.

Heat the grill on high, then scrub the grates with a grill brush to remove ash, debris, and bits of food. Dip a square of folded paper towels in oil, hold it with longhandled tongs, and wipe grates until they’re glossy—this forms a coating between the grates and fish to prevent sticking.

For our guide to the easiest grilled pizza, visit realsimple.com/ grilledpizza.

42 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

Grilling on a weeknight?

Yes, it’s possible. Say hello to the “reverse marinade,” in which you grill your protein first, then pour on a bright, herb-packed vinaigrette.

The technique works particularly well with steak, which soaks up the marinade as it rests, adding moisture and bold flavor to the meat.

How to Make the Best Grilled Corn Want sweet, juicy, lightly charred grilled corn? Start by picking the best ears at the market. If you can, buy local; the sugar in corn begins converting into chewier starch as soon as the ears are picked. Look for firm, green husks and yellow to light brown silk tips. When you’re ready to grill, keep it simple: Cook over medium-high, rotating the cobs often, until kernels are evenly charred, 4 to 5 minutes. For the smokiest flavor, pull back the husks and remove the silks before grilling (or remove the husks altogether). For less-charred flavor, steam the corn by pulling the husks back over the kernels before grilling.

BA SIC FORMUL A For every 2 pounds of protein, combine cup olive oil, the zest and juice of 2 lemons, a handful of fresh chopped herbs, and 4 smashed garlic cloves.

Season to taste with salt and pepper. Pour over grilled protein (such as flank or skirt steak, pork tenderloin, chicken breasts, shrimp, or tofu). Let protein sit for 10 minutes before slicing or serving.

VA RY I T Try tossing grilled veggies in your favorite pesto or chimichurri.

Photograph by Victor Protasio

PROP ST YLING BY CL AIRE SPOLLEN; FOOD ST YLING BY CHEL SE A ZIMMER

P R E PA R E A N D C O O K THE FISH Thick, skin-on fillets and steaks (think salmon, halibut, snapper, and grouper) hold up best.

Pat the fish dry and brush both sides with oil. Place skin side down perpendicular to grates.

Cook, covered, over direct, medium-high heat until skin is brown and crisp. If the fish doesn’t budge when you try to flip it, keep cooking until it releases. Flip with a sturdy spatula and grill until cooked through.

How to Grill When There’s No Time to Marinade

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THE REALIST

1 M A K E U S E O F WA L L S PA C E

Keep shovels, hoses, and other equipment off the floor and within reach on wallmounted racks. Organize zones by season and rotate when appropriate.

TO BUY: Gladiator GearTrack garage wall storage starter kit, $40; homedepot.com.

Galvanized hose and utility hanger, $22; shopterrain.com.

1

5

P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y K ATJ A G R E E F F. K O B A LT 1 5 - I N C H H A N D S A W, $ 1 0 , A N D K O B A LT 1 1 9 - P I E C E H O U S E H O L D T O O L S E T W I T H S O F T C A S E , $ 1 0 0 ; L O W E S . C O M .

H E R I TA G E G A R D E N H O S E , $ 5 9 , A N D C L A R I N G T O N F O R G E T R E A D E D S PA D E , $ 8 8 ; S H O P T E R R A I N . C O M

2

2 C R E AT E E A S Y A C C E S S

Display large or frequently used tools on a sturdy steel pegboard for grab-and-go efficiency.

TO BUY: Wall Control 23-piece steel pegboard kit, $57; lowes.com.

3 C AT EG O R I Z E D R AW E R S

1

4

Put power tools and accessories in one drawer and hand tools and attachments in another. Stash fasteners and hardware in old jars or takeout containers.

TO BUY: Craftsman 26-inch 5-drawer heavy-duty rolling cabinet, $240; sears.com.

4 S U B D I V I D E S H E LV E S

Maximize shelf space with bins that corral balls, small gardening gear, and other utilitarian supplies. Also, if you buy household goods in bulk, a shelving system lets you quickly check what you have and what needs restocking.

TO BUY: InterMetro garage solution with drawers, $259; containerstore.com for similar.

3

5 P ROT EC T YO U R S T U F F

Organize This P RO O RGA N I Z E R A N D R E W M E L L E N S H A R E S H I S M E T H O D F O R A R R A N G I N G T H E G A R A G E S O S T R A T E G I C A L LY, Y O U M AY E V E N H A V E R O O M F O R T H E C A R .

Place holiday decor and other rarely used items in airtight containers, since temperature fluctuations and humidity can cause damage. For this reason, paper keepsakes and other delicate items should never be stored in the garage.

TO BUY: Weathertight Totes, from $8; containerstore.com.

Find a list of items to purge from your garage at realsimple.com/garage.

Photograph by Br yan Gardner

JUNE 2018 REAL SIMPLE

45

THE REALIST

Now What?!?

S M A RT F I X E S F O R L I F E ’ S L I T T L E D I S A ST E R S

By Nora Hor vath

My goggles always fog up.

Purchase a travelsize bottle of Johnson’s Baby Shampoo ($3 for 3 oz.; walmart.com) to keep in your swim bag, recommends Melon Dash, founder of Miracle Swimming for Adults in Sarasota, Florida. Before swimming, put a tiny dab of baby shampoo on your finger, cover the inside of both goggle lenses, and then rinse the goggles in the pool water by shaking them below the surface three or four times, says Dash. A very thin layer of shampoo will remain and temporarily prevent the inner surfaces from fogging up. According to Dash, all goggles, even those with an antifog layer, are bound to fog up eventually. If you find yourself in a pinch, swim pros also recommend licking the inside of the goggles to coat the lenses with a bit of saliva. That old swimmer’s trick can help fight fog temporarily.

My computer mouse won’t track.

Unplug the mouse, turn it over, and inspect the light, says Derek Meister, a Geek Squad agent at Best Buy in Richfield, Minnesota.

Most computer mice made in the past decade are optical mice, meaning they use an LED or laser light to track movement.

If there seems to be dust or gunk on the underside, gently clean the area with canned air or a microfiber cloth. Avoid using liquids or chemicals, as these may damage the light further. Another culprit could be the table you’re using the mouse on. Reflective or glass surfaces can interfere with light tracking, so Meister suggests laying a piece of paper under the mouse. Still not working?

It may be a hardware issue. Replace the mouse or bring it to a pro.

THE FIX:

I put on too much perfume and have to rush out the door.

Wash the area you applied the perfume to with hand soap and warm water, says Erika Shumate, cofounder and CEO of Pinrose, a fragrance company based in San Francisco.

That should remove top notes that are most likely causing the overwhelming smell. “Since perfumes are alcohol and oil, just rinsing with water is not going to work, because water and oil don’t mix,” she says. If the scent is clinging to your clothes, a quick walk outside will help air you out. Next time, spritz before you get dressed, adding a finishing pump afterward if needed. One or two spritzes should be enough for eaux de parfum, two or three for eaux de toilette.

THE FIX:

46 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

GET T Y IMAGES

THE FIX:

Every bag tells a story.

What’s yours?

NEW Glad® ForceFlex Plus Advanced Protection Glad’s strongest, toughest, most leak resistant kitchen bag

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S I M P LY S U M M E R JEN CO LEMAN AND LA UR A WIE RT Z E MA , T HE D UO B E HIND T HE BLO G TAR G ET D O ES IT A G A IN, O N T HE E S S E NT IA L S T HAT MA K E THEIR SUMMER A B R E E Z E — F R O M T HE P E R F E C T S HO RT S T O THEIR FAVO RIT E B A NA NA B O AT ® S UNS C R E E N. SIMPLE SUN PROTECTION “Sun protection is very important, especially during the summer when I spend so much time outside with my kids,” says Laura. “You can always find a bottle of Banana Boat® Simply Protect™ Sport sunscreen in my bag. I love their new formula! It’s lightweight and made without parabens.”

WARM-WEATHER WARDROBE ESSENTIALS

POOL PARTY ACCESSORIES “During the summer, I trade in my purse for a beach bag that’s big enough to throw in all of my pool accessories, like a cute beach towel and portable speakers for some poolside entertainment,” says Laura.

“I live in my denim shorts during the summer!” says Jen. “In addition to cutoffs, the perfect summer outfit consists of a cute pair of sandals, great sunglasses, and a sun hat for the pool or beach.”

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THE REALIST

R o a d Te s t

Facial SPF WE TESTED MORE THAN 40 FORMUL A S. T H E S E S I X STA N D O U T S — W I T H S O P H I ST I C AT E D T E X T U R E S A N D B O N U S BENEFITS—GOT US EXCITED ABOUT S W I P I N G O N S U N S C R E E N E V E RY M O R N I N G .

B E S T A N T I -A G I N G

StriVectin Repair & Protect Moisturizer SPF 30 Not only does it prevent future sun damage, but it also helps soften fine lines caused by past sun sins, using a patented niacin (vitamin B3) complex.

TO BUY: $89; strivectin.com.

By Lisa D eSantis

BEST GEL

Neutrogena Hydro Boost Water Gel Lotion SPF 50 The cooling gel texture feels like a dream and doubles as a primer.

It moisturizes skin for eight hours (with hyaluronic acid) but doesn’t feel greasy. TO BUY: $12; at drugstores.

B E S T S P O RT

La Roche-Posay Anthelios 60 Sport This 80-minute water-resistant lotion stands up to major sweat, yet its oil-free, dry-touch formula feels almost invisible. TO BUY: $30; laroche-posay.us.

realsimple ROAD TE ST

BEST STICK

BEST TINTED

First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Tinted Moisturizer SPF 30 If you’re a slap-one-thing-on-and-go kind of girl, this makeup, skin care, and sunscreen trio has your name written all over it.

The medium-coverage mousse (in five shades) conceals imperfections, soothes skin with colloidal oatmeal, and protects against UVA and UVB rays. TO BUY: $28; sephora.com.

50 RE AL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

Shiseido Clear Stick UV Protector WetForce SPF 50+ Finally, face sunscreen is easy to reapply. Pop this twist-up clear stick into your bag and glide it on over makeup. TO BUY: $28; shiseido.com.

Are you putting on enough sunscreen? Find out at realsimple.com/ sunscreen.

P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

BEST MINER AL

Avène Mineral Light Mattifying Sunscreen Lotion SPF 50+ Titanium oxide and zinc oxide offer broad-spectrum UVA and UVB protection in a silky, nonchalky finish. TO BUY: $28; aveneusa.com.

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T O P D E R M AT O L O G I S T S S H A R E T H E I R FAV O R I T E A D V I C E — B E S I D E S A P P LY I N G ( A N D R E A P P LY I N G ! ) S U N S C R E E N .

B y C h e l s e a Tr a b e r B u r n s

52 RE AL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

Photograph by Coliena Rentmeester

T R U N K A R C H I V E ; O P P O S I T E PA G E : S M E A R S , C L O C K W I S E F R O M T O P R I G H T : G R E G M A R I N O , B R I A N H E N N , L U C A S V I S S E R

The 6 Best Ways to Keep Your Skin Beautiful

THE REALIST

1 2 STOP SPOT-TREATING YOUR ZITS “If you get regular breakouts, treat your whole face as opposed to just the zit,” says Joshua Zeichner, MD, director of cosmetic and clinical research in dermatology at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City. “This way, rather than playing catch-up, you can prevent pimples from developing to begin with. The face is made up of thousands of pipes connecting oil glands to the skin’s surface, and we don’t know which one will become clogged next. Apply a pea-size amount all over before bed.”

WE LIKE:

Differin Acne Treatment Gel, $12; target.com.

PAIR YOUR SPF WITH AN ANTIOXIDANT “Antioxidants are like insurance policies on your sunscreen,” says Zeichner. “They help reduce any inflammation.

Apply one under your sunscreen during the day, then slather on some more after an afternoon in the sun.”

Avène A-OXitive Antioxidant Defense Serum, $44; aveneusa.com.

WE LIKE:

5 4 GET RID OF THE MAGNIFYING MIRROR “No one except a dermatologist should be looking at your skin that closely,” says Dendy Engelman, MD, associate dermatologic surgeon at Manhattan Dermatology & Cosmetic Surgery in New York City.

“Not only does it make you want to pick at things you otherwise wouldn’t have noticed, but it also brings down your self-esteem.

If your eyesight is bad and you feel you need a magnifying mirror, use one with five to eight times magnification only.”

PROTECT YOURSELF FROM ALL KINDS OF LIGHT

“Although ultraviolet rays are the main cause of aging and are linked to 90 percent of nonmelanoma skin cancers, there are other ofenders too, like the lightbulbs in your oice or living room,” says Gohara. “That’s right: Visible light can worsen brown spots big-time.

To guard against all types of light, use an SPF with iron oxides. Try a powder formula so you won’t mind reapplying.”

3 GET ON THE VITAMIN C TR AIN Another reason to use antioxidants: “Free radicals are chemical particles from UV light and pollutants that cause wrinkles— think of antioxidants as the Pac-Man that goes around eating them,” says Mona Gohara, associate clinical professor of dermatology at Yale School of Medicine. “Vitamin C is the ultimate antioxidant.

Apply a serum—as it’s the most concentrated— under your moisturizer in the morning.”

Drunk Elephant C-Firma Day Serum, $80; drunkelephant.com.

WE LIKE:

Colorescience Sunforgettable Brush-on Sunscreen SPF 50, $64; colorescience.com.

WE LIKE:

Learn more derm-approved tips and tricks at realsimple.com/expertskin.

6

START USING RETINOL “Vitamin A derivatives—retinoids and retinol—are my go-to for patients who want to slow the signs of aging,” says Engelman. “They help correct fine lines and wrinkles by building collagen, they help reverse sun damage, and they improve tone and texture. Since they can be irritating, I recommend patients start with an over-the-counter product before upgrading to prescription strength.”

RoC Retinol Correxion Max Daily Hydration Crème, $25; walmart.com.

WE LIKE:

JUNE 2018 REAL SIMPLE

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THE REALIST

Drugstore Insider

H E A D S H O T C O U R T E S Y O F M A R I O D E D I VA N O V I C ; S M E A R : B R I A N H E N N ; Q - T I P S , O L LY, A R D E L L L A S H E S : M A N F R E D K O H ; O T H E R P R O D U C T I M A G E S C O U R T E S Y O F M A N U F A C T U R E R S

T H E B E ST B E AU T Y P RO D U C T S I N T H E A I S L E S, H A N D P I C K E D BY A P RO

L’Oréal Paris Voluminous Carbon Black Mascara “I’ve been using this mascara in my kit for 15 years. It’s my favorite for making lashes appear thicker without clumping.”

TO BUY: $8; at drugstores.

Mario Dedivanovic Known for starting the contour craze with his client Kim Kardashian, he proves that if you weren’t born with sculpted cheekbones, you can fake them. He teaches his techniques in his worldwide master classes and works with such celebrities as Chrissy Teigen and Kate Bosworth. Follow him on Instagram: @makeupbymario.

Cetaphil Moisturizing Lotion “I carry this lotion on set with me— because it is nonirritating, I can use it on everyone.”

TO BUY: $14 for 16 oz.; ulta.com.

Q-tips Cotton Swabs Precision Tip “I like to dip these in eye-makeup remover to clean up little mistakes when using liquid eyeliner.”

TO BUY: $3 for 170; at drugstores.

Milani Baked Blush “I love the soft, natural glow this peach blush gives to any skin tone. I’m also a fan of this brand’s bronzers.”

TO BUY: $8; at drugstores.

Olly Daily Energy “These gummies help me get extra nutrients while also keeping my stress down while traveling.”

TO BUY: $14 for 60; target.com.

Ardell Knot-Free Individual Lashes “These are easier to apply than a strip and look more natural.

I alternate between two lengths for the best flutter.” TO BUY: $5 for 56; ulta.com.

JUNE 2018 REAL SIMPLE

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02 GROWING UP

Your dog is ready to explore—and long walks let you do it together! Stay handsfree while toting the necessities with a cross-body bag.

Stash a squeaky toy, baggies, and of course some treats, for all the pawsitive playtime.

TREAT YOUR DOG AT EVERY STEP 03 LATER YEARS

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01 DOG LIFE

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THE REALIST

The Summer Gift Guide WE’ VE G OT YOUR PRE SENT NEEDS C O V E R E D — F RO M G R A D U AT I O N D AY THROUGH WEDDING SE A S ON.

FOR HOSTS

By Stephanie Sisco

1 CITRONELLA UPGRADE The soy-based wax is infused with insect-repelling lemongrass and a summery citrus scent.

TO BUY: Citronella grapefruit candle (5 in.), $32; skeemshop.com.

2 FRUIT BASKET ALTERNATIVE The gift that actually keeps on giving. Choose from nine berry bushes to bestow upon your host. TO BUY: Bushel and Berry Baby Cakes, $26; busheland berry.com for info.

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C H O C O L AT E S : M A N F R E D K O H ; O T H E R P R O D U C T I M A G E S C O U R T E S Y O F M A N U F A C T U R E R S

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3 CANDY JARS A sweet treat for the java lover, these jars are filled with milk chocolate–covered espresso beans and biscotti bites. TO BUY: Cafe Duo, $17; wescandyco.com.

4 COCKTAIL BOOSTER Suggest your hosts try this amaro over ice with a splash of sparkling wine and an orange peel. It will be their new favorite spritzer. TO BUY: Gentian Amaro, $24; lofiaperitifs.com for info.

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5 PRODUCE PUZZLE With 750 pieces, this rainbow puzzle offers the perfect challenge for a crowd of all skill levels. TO BUY: Citrus Gradient puzzle by Brittany Wright, $11; barnesandnoble.com.

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6 WOVEN TRAY A 14-inch wicker-and-wood platter that’s ideal for serving drinks at a party or corralling remotes near the sofa.

TO BUY: Salon Tray, $95 (large); gretelhome.com.

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THE REALIST

3

1

FOR GRADS 2

1 ADULTHO OD HANDB O OK A foolproof guide for what to keep on hand around the house—from helpful toolbox supplies to wardrobe staples.

TO BUY: Essential 20s, $15; chroniclebooks.com.

2 FRIENDLY REMINDER A leather key chain stamped with a list of necessities so she won’t forget them on her way out the door. TO BUY: Keys Phone Wallet key tag, $15; seltzergoods.com.

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3 DIY WALL ART A five-inch cross-stitch craft for the millennial coed. Difficulty level: challenging but doable.

TO BUY: DIY Cross Stitch Kit, $18; thestrandedstitch.com.

4 P ORTABLE P O OL Turn even the smallest outdoor space into hangout central with this grown-up inflatable pool that fits four adults comfortably.

TO BUY: That’s Banana(leave)s!

Minnidip Luxe Inflatable Pool, $70; minnidip.com.

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6 CYCLIST’S TRUNK A sturdy, lockable bike basket for transporting books to class or a picnic to the park. TO BUY: Buca Boot, $195; bucaboot.com.

7 BE AKER C ANDLES Whether or not her career path involves chemistry, this trio of scented candles will add a quirky touch to her decor.

TO BUY: Beaker candle set, $75 for 3; bando.com.

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P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

5 D O CKING STATION She’ll never miss an alert or call from Mom with this handy phone stand on the desk.

TO BUY: Metallic Phone Stand in rose gold, $13; boonsupply.com.

6

THE REALIST

2

FOR DADS 1 P ORTABLE CO OKTOP For the grill lover on the go: This compact steel cooktop will give him the barbecue flavor he craves. TO BUY: Una Grill, $139; store.moma.org.

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2 ME AT THERMOMETER Water-repellent and able to withstand high temps, this Bluetooth thermometer will be a mealtime game changer. TO BUY: Meater probe, $69; store.meater.com.

4

3 QUICK SHOT An instant camera with tons of features—like a kids mode, which will help him capture those quick-moving subjects.

TO BUY: Instax Mini 90, $180; fujifilm.com for info.

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5 MIGHT Y PENLIGHT Tiny but powerful, this three-inch spotlight has a quick-release function so he can detach it from his key chain in a snap. TO BUY: Beta QRv2 electroless nickel flashlight, $59; darksucks.com.

6 GUY’S GRO OMER A waterproof cleansing brush for smoother skin and a softer beard. TO BUY: Alpha Fit men’s face brush, $219; clarisonic.com.

7 RETRO SPE AKER It boasts crisp sound, wireless functionality, and timeless design—and is less than four inches tall. TO BUY: Muzen OTR wood radio, $99; indiegogo.com.

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P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

4 T YP O GR APHIC ART Redesigned music posters offer a graphic way to display his bachelor-era favorites. TO BUY: David Bowie at Dunstable Civic Center 1972, $50; swissted.com.

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THE REALIST

2

FOR NEWLYWEDS

1

1 WELCOMING BA SKET A sweet spot to stash extra blankets in the living room or hide clutter before the in-laws arrive.

TO BUY: Pineapple floor basket, $59; crateandbarrel.com.

4

2 PHOTO BLO CK The couple can stock this tabletop frame with prints from their honeymoon and put a new one on display each week.

TO BUY: Brass and wood display box, $55, and square prints, $12 for 10; artifactuprising.com.

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4 CHIC SWEEPER A display-worthy set that will have them fighting over who gets to clean up. TO BUY: VintageInspired French hanging dustpan and brush set, $88; food52.com.

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5 STABLE SURFACE A retro tray table for serving breakfast in bed on lazy Sunday mornings. TO BUY: Kaymet Lap Tray in mellow green, $160; heathceramics.com.

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6 DATE NIGHT GUIDE With recommendations for more than 4,500 restaurants around the globe, they’ll never run out of fun places to try. TO BUY: Where Chefs Eat, $35; phaidon.com.

7 COZY BL ANKET An all-weather throw that’s the perfect size for sharing. TO BUY: Stripe Fringe Knit Throw, $199; rebeccaatwood.com.

Find more must-have wedding gifts at realsimple.com/ bestgifts.

66 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

B L A N K E T : M A N F R E D KO H ; OT H E R P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

3 CUSTOM C ANDLE Choose from 33 scents (like Champagne or Spa Water) and personalize the label with the newlyweds’ initials. TO BUY: Personalized Double Letter Heart Candle, $30; thelittlemarket.com.

THE REALIST

Real Simplifier

How to Pack Everything into a Carry-On N O B A G G A G E F E E S . N O L O S T L U G G A G E . J U S T Y O U F LY I N G T H RO U G H T H E A I R P O RT W I T H T H E G R E AT E ST O F E A S E .

B y Yo l a n d a W i k i e l

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H AV E A S T R AT E GY

MAKE A LIST I N A DVA N C E

SELECT THE RIGHT WHEELIE B A G. . .

...AND THE RIGHT PERSONAL BAG

RO L L A N D F O L D CLOTHES

“The right personal bag is key, as it can help you conserve space in your carryon and have all your travel essentials within arm’s reach,” says Palepu. Go for a zippered tote or backpack with room for a laptop, book, and souvenirs. “A bag that’s 9 by 10 by 17 inches or smaller will meet nearly all airlines’ requirements,” she says. Your personal bag is also a good place to keep travel-size liquid toiletries (placed in a resealable, quartsize clear bag, per TSA rules) for easy access when going through security.

To roll or to fold?

Palepu has the answer: “I roll my bottoms and fold my tops—I find my clothes end up with fewer wrinkles and I can fit more in my bag.” Use a packing cube, adds Kristin Addis, founder of the blog Be My Travel Muse. She likes the large (10-by-14-by-3inch) cube from the Eagle Creek Pack It Cube Set ($28; amazon.com).

“You can add more than you expect because the cube compresses everything,” she says.

Stick to this no-fail formula for a weeklong trip: Pack one dress, six tops, three bottoms, two bras (nude and black), two workout outfits, nine pairs of underwear and socks, and a set of pajamas, says Hitha Palepu, founder of the travel blog Hitha on the Go and author of How to Pack. Opt for clothing made of fabrics that are less likely to rumple, like ponte, stretch denim, and polyester blends. Choose two pairs of shoes— three, max. For most locales, you’ll be fine with sneakers, heels, and sandals or flats.

Start thinking about specific garments a week before you depart to sidestep snafus. “This will give you plenty of time to do laundry, collect dry cleaning, and make sure everything is in good condition.

Plus, you’ll be able to plan out your mixing and matching,” says Palepu.

Wear your bulkiest items—jeans, sneakers, and a jacket, say—on the plane. Download Palepu’s packing list at hithaonthe go.com/list.

Illustrations by Amy van Luijk

There are four main types to consider: international (about 22 inches tall), domestic (between about 21 and 23 inches tall), hard case (strong yet rigid), and soft case (expandable but heavy). If you often fly out of the country and hardly ever check your bag, opt for a hard case that fits international size limitations (consult the airline for specifics). If you tend to overpack or shop during your trip, and if you don’t mind occasionally checking your bag, choose a soft case up to 23 inches tall.

6 PA C K I T A L L U P

Stow each pair of shoes in a shoe bag (so the soles won’t dirty your clothes) and pack them first, at the bottom of the case.

Place the packing cube next. Finally, cram compact items—swimsuits, underwear, socks— into empty corners or even inside your shoes. Include a laundry bag with a few dryer sheets stashed inside to bring dirty clothes home.

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The middle of nowhere or the center of everything?

T h e re’s n o b e t t e r p l a c e t o re m i n d y ou r s e l f of y ou r r i g ht f u l p l a c e i n t h e u n i v e r s e . At on c e i m m e n s e a n d i nt i m at e , Wy om i n g’s t i m e l e s s w on d e r s t re t c h e s out b e f ore y ou a n d f i n d s it s w ay i nt o y ou r s ou l . O ut h e re , i n s om n i a w ou l d n’t b e a b a d t h i n g .

THE REALIST

The Essential T H AT B A S I C H A N G I N G I N YO U R C L O S E T I S M O R E V E R S AT I L E T H A N YO U T H I N K .

T H I S M O N T H: H OW TO ST Y L E YO U R S H I F T D R E SS FO R A N Y O CC A S I O N

By Rebecca D aly

S TA RT W I T H THE DRESS...

TO BUY:

. . . A D D FA N C Y A C C E S S O R I E S A N D A B E LT

Heels and a clutch elevate this casual staple to a date-night go-to, while a cinched waist gives the boxy silhouette a more structured, flattering shape.

TO BUY: Suzanna Dai Turks earrings, $220; suzannadai.com. Forever 21 Faux Leather Braided-Trim belt, $7; forever21.com. Urban Expressions Bahamas clutch, $60; urban expressions.net. Etienne Aigner Martini heels, $148; etienneaigner.com.

. . . A D D A JA C K E T A N D S A N DA L S

Laid-back, summery pieces—a denim jacket, a gauzy scarf—create a versatile warm-weather outfit just right for wandering the farmers market or boardwalk.

Loft Banded Collar Denim jacket, $90; loft.com. Dear Drew by Drew Barrymore Central Park Square scarf, $68; amazon.com. Hat Attack Classic Raffia fedora, $98; hatattack.com.

Adia Kibur earrings, $52; adiakibur.com.

SO Dory sandals, $40; kohls.com.

TO BUY:

. . . A D D T RO U S E R S A N D A P I N

A strategically placed brooch transforms a T-shirt-style frock into a draped tunic you can wear to work.

TO BUY: Ann Taylor Chelsea Skinny pants, $79; anntaylor.com. Nicole Romano Miramar necklace, $275; nicoleromano.com.

Pono by Joan Goodman Angle bracelets, $55 each; ponobyjoangoodman.com.

Alexis Bittar Crystal Encrusted safety pin, $125; alexisbittar.com. Zac Zac Posen Earthette Accordian Shoulder bag, $450; revolve.com. CC Corso Como Jackey Slingback flats, $119; lordandtaylor.com.

For more versatile must-haves, head to realsimple.com/essential.

72 RE AL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

Photographs by Brian Henn

ST YLING BY JUDITH TRE ZZ A FOR R.J. BENNET T REPRESENTS

Babaton Patricio dress, $135; aritzia.com.

A DV E R T I S E M E N T

SCENTS OF SUMMER Summertime is made for outdoor experiences.

But while you want the memories to last a lifetime, you don’t want the smells to linger.

Here’s how to overcome those odors.

Can’t Stand The Heat? No Sweat!

NOTHING TASTES BETTER THAN FOOD RIGHT OFF THE GRILL, but standing in front of a BBQ all day can leave you sweating like you’re at the gym. No worries: ARM & HAMMER™ Plus OxiClean™ Odor Blasters is specially formulated to eliminate body odor in your clothes and leave behind a fresh, clean scent.

Have Fun in the Sun WHETHER IT’S THE POOL, LAKE, OR BEACH, kids go through a lot of towels in the summer—that means even more loads of laundry. ARM & HAMMER™ Plus Oxiclean™ Odor Blasters eliminates musty odors that cling to forgotten towels, so you can enjoy the memories, not the stench.

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P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y K ATJ A G R E E F F ; E M B R O I D E R Y B Y S A R A H L A S K O W, S A R A H L A S K O W D E S I G N S . C O M

MEANINGFUL CONNECTIONS IN A MODERN WORLD

Why You Need a Family Motto PA S S I N G D O W N I M P O R T A N T L I F E L E S S O N S T O O U R C H I L D R E N S T A R T S W I T H S AY I N G T H E S A M E F E W P H R A S E S O V E R A N D O V E R A N D O V E R A G A I N . R E A D Y, S E T, R E P E A T.

By Erin Zammett Ruddy

Photographs by Br yan Gardner

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W H E N I WA S G R OW I N G U P, my dad—a former air traic controller— constantly urged me, “Make a decision and make it work.” It was his way of encouraging me to stop secondguessing myself, which I was all too prone to do, and to realize I was in control of my life. I follow his advice to this day. (He also used to say, “Don’t f— up. And if you do, don’t get caught,” but that’s a story for another time.)

Despite my dad’s wisdom, the only phrases on repeat in my own house these days seem to be “Keep your hands to yourself!” and “Don’t forget to wipe!” Not exactly inspiring. “We constantly repeat ourselves as parents, whether we’re imparting wisdom or not,” says Zelana Montminy, PhD, a Los Angeles–based psychologist and the author of 21 Days to Resilience.

“Thinking about what our kids are hearing and being deliberate about what we say to them are key to shaping who they will become.”

We all want to be the voice in our kids’ heads—to help protect and encourage them and to remind them to do the right thing when we’re no longer hovering close by. Getting in there with maxims and mottoes they’ll remember is as easy as, yes, repeating yourself all the time. But it’s also about choosing the right things to say. “The words we hear repeated as children become our internalized voice as adults,” says Suzi Lula, a parenting expert and the author of The Motherhood Evolution: How Thriving Mothers Raise Thriving Children.

“They reairm family values and serve as a real compass for kids as they get older. You’re doing your child such a big service to say these things to them now.”

76 R E A L S I M P L E J U N E 2 0 1 8

How family mottoes become memorable Repetition speeds learning—just think back to all those flash cards you used (or, perhaps, should have used) in high school. So when we say something again and again to our kids, they’re more likely to absorb it. “There are neural connections that form in the brain when we learn something new,” says Montminy, who studies the efect of positive psychology on the brain. “The more repetitive something is, the less energy is needed to create those crucial connections—meaning it’s easier to learn.” And the more those connections are used, the stronger they become. “Eventually the things we say to our children become second nature to them,” says Lula. For the past year, whenever Megan Christ, from Brooklyn, New York, dropped her daughter of at preschool, she’d tell her, “Be kind. Have fun. Work hard. Learn a lot.” Now her 3-year-old recites the morning motto without having to be reminded.

“It may seem like kids tune you out, but they’re listening,” says Lula.

They’ll be even more receptive if you stop what you’re doing, get down to their level, and say your piece while

making eye contact. This gesture will signal to them, “Hey, this is important.

Pay attention.”

Framing these life lessons positively is essential to their eicacy. If you want to encourage gratitude in your child, saying, “Stop worrying about what other people have!” won’t work as well as saying, “We need to be grateful for what we have.” According to Montminy, “Our brain tends to go into shutdown mode and be less receptive when we feel attacked or hurt, so those important neural connections won’t be reinforced.”

Efective mottoes should focus on the behaviors or values you want to see (persistence) rather than those you don’t want to see (giving up). And if your words start to feel nagging and frustrating, retool your delivery or rethink what you’re trying to relay.

“These phrases shouldn’t come out as emotional outbursts,” says Montminy.

“That might feel like hard work at first, but it’ll become more efortless with time and practice.”

L E T T E R I N G B Y S A M A N T H A Z A B E L L , @ S A M Z AW R I T E S

R E L AT I N G

REAL REFR AINS

So what exactly should we be saying?

“For these life lessons to really sink in, they should be simple to say and easy to remember,” says Lula. So no tongue twisters or novellas. You might want to say, “Please don’t ever do drugs.

They will not make you cool; they will rot your brain and ruin your life and then you will die.” But, instead, try this: “You get only one body in this life—treat it right.” The motto should also be authentic to who your family is. Not sure how that translates into a catchy phrase? “Come up with the most important values you want to relay to your children,” says Montminy, who does this exercise with clients: Jot down 5 to 10 items for your family’s “code of conduct.” Under each, write down a few simple, ageappropriate ways to articulate the rule.

If honesty is important (it should probably be in everyone’s top five, no?), you might say, “We value honesty in our family,” or “The truth may be diicult, but it’s always the best choice.”

The “we” voice is crucial when doling out advice, notes Thomas Lickona, PhD, a developmental psychologist at the State University of New York at Cortland and the author of How to Raise Kind Kids. “Talk about these things in terms of shared goals—it means that you’re all in this together, that these values matter to all of you.”

You can also think of them as family mission statements, he says. “Have your children help come up with the qualities they think should define your family.” Quickly review the mission statements at the beginning of the week—or as needed. “The words should become a living part of the family,” says Lickona.

And you don’t have to reinvent the wheel: You can steal sage advice from movies, Mother Teresa, even Mick

Poach-worthy family mottoes and maxims from moms and dads

Jagger. “ ‘You can’t always get what you want’ is said often in my house,” says Nora Weber, a mother of two in Burlington, Vermont. A friend quotes The Princess Bride to her kids: “Who says life is fair? Where is that written?” (Not all mottoes are sweet, and that’s OK.) The Dalai Lama is widely quoted as saying, “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” I’m definitely throwing that one into the Ruddy family rotation!

One-size-fits-all family mottoes are great to have, but you’ll also want to customize directives for each child.

“My youngest daughter needs to learn to stand up for herself more, so I tell her, ‘Be confident. Be brave. Speak up,’ while my older one needs reminders to let her friends take the wheel sometimes,” says Amy P., a mother of three in Nashville. Whatever it is you’re saying, it has to apply in an authentic way to the person on the receiving end.

Words of wisdom really do work When I asked friends which pearls of their wisdom they’d like their kids to remember, the majority started with, “It’s something my parents used to say to me.” Those words stay with us and shape how we approach life—and how we react to it. The proof is in the kids themselves: “Something my mom always said to me growing up was, ‘Of course it’s hard. If it were easy, everyone would do it,’ ” says Lyz M., a college senior. “Now when I feel anxious, those words come to me and I remember that I’m doing something that’s both diicult and rewarding.”

Andrew G., a high school sophomore, used to be hard on himself in the classroom and on the playing field.

“You always have a choice to make someone’s day better or worse.

Choose wisely.”

—J E S S I C A L . , M O T H E R O F T W O, G R E E N L AW N , N E W YO R K

“The only things you’re in charge of are your effort and your attitude.”

— B R I G S . , FAT H E R O F T W O, NASHVILLE

“Just show up.”

“You are capable of great things.

That’s why I expect great things.”

—A N N E T T E U V E N A , M O T H E R O F T W O, HUNTINGTON, N E W YO R K

— C H R I S T I WA M P L E R , M O T H E R O F T W O, K N OX V I L L E , TENNESSEE

“Please and thank you are two of the most powerful things you can say.

Say them often.”

— S E A N P H I L L I P S , FAT H E R O F ONE, NEW ORLE ANS

JUNE 2018 REAL SIMPLE

77

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION (CONTINUED)

R E L AT I N G

“Always look deeper than the beauty on the outside.”

—J E N N I F E R B E R D I N G, M O T H E R O F T W O, L O U I S V I L L E , KENTUCKY

“The harder choice is almost always the right choice.”

—A D R I E N N E P O R Z I O, M O T H E R O F T W O, P I T T S B U RG H

“You become an average of the five people you spend the most time with.

Choose those people wisely.”

— RO RY H U G H E S , FAT H E R O F T W O, ANN ARB OR, MICHIGAN

“You will figure it out.

Find a way.”

—J E N N I F E R T I E TJ E N - P RO Z Z O, M O T H E R O F T W O, FA I R F I E L D, C O N N E C T I C U T

“Give 100 percent in everything you do, even when no one is watching. Don’t do things halfway, and don’t do them for the recognition!”

— R AQ U E L F. , M O T H E R O F FOUR, PHOENIX

“Since I was a little kid, my mom has always said, ‘We all make mistakes.

I’ve made plenty. But what I know now is that you can either dwell on them or learn from them.’ I can really hear her voice whenever I get a grade I’m not happy with or miss a shot I should have made—and it helps.”

Indeed, the words we instill in our kids aren’t just meant to inspire them to reach great heights or remind them not to be jerks—they can coach them through real adversity. Lauren Gallagher, PhD, a school psychologist on Long Island, New York, sees parents’ words in action a lot. “You want kids to have the tools to talk themselves through tough spots in the classroom, with friends, with sports,” she says. “Being consistent with the language we use with our kids will help them respond intuitively to situations over time.” Having them repeat the words can also calm them on a much deeper level. An Israeli study showed that repeating words and phrases can help you focus and feel less scatterbrained. When my friend Meredith’s 5-year-old starts to melt down, Meredith soothingly says, “Take a deep breath and count to three—this is not an emergency.” She says it to herself sometimes too.

Here’s the catch: These words will mean nothing to your kids if you’re not putting them into action yourself.

“If you want to teach your kids something, you better live it,” says Gallagher.

Show them what it means to be kind or grateful or to persevere; model the behavior you want to see in them.

And look for real-world examples to reinforce the message. “If you see something or hear something that’s in line with or counter to one of your family values, talk about it then and there if appropriate,” says Gallagher.

It’s a combination of practicing what we preach and preaching what we practice. “For our words to matter,” says Lickona, “they have to ring true.”

Serious and/or immediate allergic reactions have been reported. They include: itching, rash, red itchy welts, wheezing, asthma symptoms, or dizziness or feeling faint. Get medical help right away if you are wheezing or have asthma symptoms, or if you become dizzy or faint.

Do not receive BOTOX® Cosmetic if you: are all e rgic to any of th e in gre di e nt s in BOTOX ® Cosmetic (see Medication Guide for ingredients); had an allergic reac tion to any other b otulinum toxin pro duc t such as Myobloc ® (rimabotulinumtoxinB), Dysport ® (abobotulinumtoxinA), or Xeomin® (incobotulinumtoxinA); have a skin infection at the planned injection site.

Tell your doctor about all your muscle or nerve conditions, such as ALS or Lou Gehrig’s disease, myasthenia gravis, or Lambert-Eaton syndrome, as you may be at increased risk of serious side effects including difficulty swallowing and difficulty breathing from typical doses of BOTOX® Cosmetic.

Tell your doctor about all your medical conditions, including: plans to have surgery; had surgery on your face; have trouble raising your eyebrows; drooping eyelids; any other abnormal facial change; are pregnant or plan to become pregnant (it is not known if BOTOX® Cosmetic can harm your unborn baby); are breast-feeding or plan to (it is not known if BOTOX® Cosmetic passes into breast milk).

Tell your doctor about all the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements.

Using BOTOX® Cosmetic with certain other medicines may cause serious side effects. Do not start any new medicines until you have told your doctor that you have received BOTOX® Cosmetic in the past.

Tell your doctor if you have received any other botulinum toxin product in the last 4 months; have received injections of botulinum toxin such as Myobloc,® Dysport,® or Xeomin® in the past (tell your doctor exactly which product you received); have recently received an antibiotic by injection; take muscle relaxants; take an allergy or cold medicine; take a sleep medicine; take aspirinlike products or blood thinners.

Other side effects of BOTOX® Cosmetic include: dry mouth; discomfor t or pain at the injection site; tiredness; headache; neck pain; and eye problems: double vision, blurred vision, decreased eyesight, drooping eyelids and eyebrows, swelling of your eyelids and dry eyes.

For more information refer to the Medication Guide or talk with your doctor.

To report a side effect, please call Allergan at 1- 800 - 678 -1605.

Please see Summary of Important Information about BOTOX® Cosmetic on next page.

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R E L AT I N G

Good Read

The Stranger AF TER A SUDDEN LOSS, DAW N A N A H I D M AC K E E N F O U N D C O M F O RT I N A S U R P R I S I N G P L AC E—A N OT E F RO M A N E I G H B O R S H E ’ D N E V E R M E T.

Photographs by Br yan Gardner

IN THE TRANSFORMED COMMUNITY of Los Feliz, where he’d lived for more than four decades, no one had recognized my father. At 82 years old, he had died in front of our neighbor’s two-story house, on the lawn where I’d searched for ladybugs as a child. Eventually, when the Italian owners relocated, a Lebanese family moved in. Once a week, my tall WASP of a father and my Armenian mother would stop by the family’s house for cofee and baklava. Later on, that family returned to Lebanon, and a parade of owners swung through the door as our immigrant neighborhood became progressively hip over the next two decades. Trendy boutiques and cofeehouses opened, as home prices soared.

When I learned by phone that he’d died, I collapsed onto the asphalt of the parking lot where I’d stood.

My dinner with him the week prior had been our last.

Driving home to see my mother, I couldn’t stop fixating on the lawn where he had toppled over: How long had he been suffering before someone noticed him? I pictured him alone, his glasses askew, the opposite of how I’d always envisioned his final moment, ringed by loved ones in a hospital.

To the old-timers of our neighborhood, he was a fixture, always smiling, helping organize solstice hikes to Mount Hollywood and even appearing in advertisements to elect the district’s then-longtime city council member. He attended pancake breakfasts for the fire department and ran his own local advocacy group with my mother after he retired as an auditor for the state, opening each meeting with a memorized joke. Still, that last day, no one had recognized him.

He’d walked under the canopy of trees down the sidewalk like he’d done thousands of times before, past the home of his Armenian friend, who had recently died, past another corner house, whose owners had rented their property at double, triple the rents of the past. One of my father’s favorite destinations was the iconic House of Pies, a bare-bones diner disregarded by many newcomers. To quell his sweet tooth, he would order black cofee and a slice of warm pumpkin pie.

He continued this tradition behind my mother’s back even after his first heart attack—his missions our secret.

“Well, why not?” he’d explain, with a toothy grin, his arms swung wide in enthusiasm.

In the days that followed his death, I couldn’t eat or sleep, the scenarios torturing me. Had he been calling out for help? For me or my mother? To keep her company, I stayed in my old bedroom. I stared at photographs, these snapshots of a life that was now gone. In his closet, I drew his short-sleeve brown shirt to my face and breathed in his scent—that familiar one of sweat and soap I’d never

LO S F E L I Z P H OTO G R A P H S C O U RT E SY O F S A R A H C H U N G

N O T L O N G AG O, M Y E L D E R LY M O T H E R , Anahid, was watching CNN on her beige sofa when an ambulance screamed outside her home, drowning out the sound of the newscast. A fire engine whined, too, both vehicles screeching to a stop that September afternoon. Frantic shouts followed, prompting my 85-year-old mother to peek through the arched windows at the commotion.

Cars have always collided at this accident-prone intersection in Los Feliz, a Los Angeles neighborhood adjacent to Hollywood, and in the pre-cellphone era, she used to usher the dazed drivers inside to use her phone and calm down with a glass of water.

“What is going on?” she asked the swarm of strangers after exiting her house.

“Some old man just died,” replied one. “No one knows who he is.”

My five-foot-two mother inched into the crowd and rose onto her sandaled toes to get a better look, spotting the man’s shoes: brown leather loafers with rubber soles.

They looked familiar. She glimpsed the man’s blue trousers. She had set out sky-blue trousers for her husband, Jim, my father, that morning. He’d left about two hours earlier to walk to 7-Eleven. Then she saw the gallon of milk, flipped over on the strip of grass. He was going to buy some for their next morning’s breakfast and mail some bills.

“Brown shoes,” she thought. “Blue trousers. Milk. Brown shoes…blue trousers…milk.”

“That’s my husband,” she said aloud as the realization hit, to no one, to everyone.

R E L AT I N G

thought about but now felt as vital as air. How long was he lying there? Could he have been saved? A few days after his death, when my eyes had swollen from crying so much I could barely see, a note arrived in my mother’s black mailbox: “My name is Renee…I am the neighbor who was with your Jimmy when he became ill on Monday. You and Jimmy have been on my mind. I just wanted to check in with you if you don’t mind. Could you please call me at the number below?”

ABOUT T H E AU T H O R Dawn Anahid MacKeen is an investigative journalist and the author of The Hundred-Year Walk, which chronicles her grandfather’s survival of the Armenian genocide and was a finalist for the Dayton Literary Peace Prize.

A WO M A N E N T E R E D T H E H O U S E O F P I E S and looked around, her face soft and framed by auburn hair. Instinctively I knew it was Renee. When we had spoken on the phone days earlier, her voice was warm, welcoming.

In my bag, I had pictures of my father smiling, alive.

I wanted her to glimpse the man behind the stranger on that corner. As Renee drew closer, my mother and I rushed to hug her. Over mugs of cofee, Renee began to tell us about the afternoon he passed away.

She had been on her way to pick up her son from elementary school. Driving east along the avenue from her home, she saw a man strolling. “Well, look at you,” she thought. “Out taking a walk on this beautiful day with your hat and groceries.” She noticed his Kangol cap snug on his bald head, the fine way he dressed, his plaid shirt tucked into belted blue trousers.

Renee couldn’t take her eyes of him. Passing him, she glimpsed him bending down and placing his left hand on his knee. What is he doing now? Is he looking at a plant? Smelling a flower? Entranced, she checked her rearview mirror to see if he had stood up. Instead he collapsed under a tree. “I didn’t even turn around.

I just put my car in reverse,” she told us.

He lay on his left side, with vomit pooled on his lips.

His blue eyes were open, staring outward. She checked his pulse and couldn’t detect one.

She called 911. “What time was it?” I interrupted.

I wanted to know the exact moment he had left us. That afternoon, I had had physical therapy and almost called him before my 3 p.m. appointment. She studied her phone: “It was at 2:39 p.m.” It was that very moment. Sometimes

84 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

I think the sound of me reaching out could have pulled him back from the divide. It’s a hopeful, irrational thought that fleets and returns, baiting me back for more.

Crouching beside my father, Renee touched his arm, fearful he’d choke if she turned him. She sensed a vacancy within. “It wasn’t like pulling a baby out of a swimming pool. You had a diferent feeling. That his time had come.”

On the phone, the 911 operator requested an address.

Renee relayed the intersection, but the dispatcher required the house number. “I didn’t want to leave him,” she told us, her voice breaking. When she returned from the 100-yard trip to the house’s front, he was blue.

Another bystander stopped, another new arrival to the neighborhood. “He’s gone,” the man pronounced, as he closed my father’s eyes and said a prayer. Still, the 911 operator instructed Renee to begin CPR. She pumped his chest hard until the ambulance arrived.

Nearby, Renee saw the grocery bag and a gallon of milk, still cold and dappled with condensation, and wondered who was waiting for it.

A crowd of bystanders soon gathered around my father, these concerned strangers and neighborhood newcomers, and eventually my mother joined them too.

M Y FAT H E R ’ S G R O C E R Y B A G contained the milk.

But it also held sweetness: two Nestlé Crunch bars and two bags of Planters peanuts. He would have been counting down as he neared home, the anticipation of a dessert always bringing him nearly as much joy as the consumption. On his last day, my father had decided to treat himself, to say, “Well, why not?”

Because of Renee, I now know my father was enjoying his final walk around the neighborhood he so loved.

He didn’t stagger to his death. Knowing the massive heart attack claimed him quickly brought me relief.

A year or so later, Renee contacted me when her own sister died unexpectedly. In pain, she’d sought out a psychic for answers to the unanswerable. Instead of her sister, though, the clairvoyant informed her someone else was coming through: “A fatherly figure named James.” Renee had never stopped thinking about my dad and wanted me to know. On the phone, we cried about our loved ones and comforted each other.

My father had as beautiful a death as one could have had. He had touched one last person, a stranger, his happiness easy to spot, even from a passing car. And this stranger, in turn, had touched us. It didn’t matter that no one had recognized him in a district that had become filled with newcomers. In this large city, where one can easily feel alone, my father wasn’t on the day it mattered most.

C O U R T E S Y O F DAW N A N A H I D M AC K E E N

A few days after my father ’s death, when my eyes had swollen from crying, a note arrived in my mother ’s black mailbox: “My name is Renee...”

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R E L AT I N G

The Vets Will See You Now A N SW E R S TO YO U R H A I R I E ST P E T Q U E ST I O N S

A SOFT SIDEKICK

D RY S P E L L

DISASTER PREP

I really want a chinchilla but have never raised one before.

Is there anything I should be aware of before I jump in?

My box turtle’s skin is flaky and dry. What could be the cause?

We have an emergency plan for the family but not our pet. How can we make sure he’s ready?

Chinchillas require a cage (roughly three feet square) with climbing ramps, a box to hide in, drinking water, and timothy hay—their main food source, says veterinarian Evan Mavromatis. They also need one to two daily tablespoons of pellet food (like Oxbow Essentials Chinchilla Food, $18; jet .com) and a teaspoon of raisins or cranberries a few times per week. To keep her coat shiny, give her a dust bath four times weekly. The dust mimics pumice in her natural habitat and strips away dirt and oil from her coat. (Bathing with water is a no-no: Her dense fur doesn’t dry easily, and trapped moisture on her skin could leave her vulnerable to infection.) Contain the mess by putting a fishbowl filled with fine sand (All Living Things Small Animal Blue Cloud Dust, $10; petsmart.com) into the cage and letting her roll around for 30 minutes.

His tank could be too hot, notes veterinarian Kristin Claricoates Valdes. While there are several species of box turtle, the general rule of thumb is that a basking lamp should keep one side of his tank at 85 to 90 degrees, making the other side 74 to 80 degrees. Place a water bowl inside the tank to regulate the humidity and let him soak in two inches of warm water up to three times weekly if he still seems dry. His diet could be causing a vitamin A deficiency or malnutrition as well. Prevent this by feeding your adult turtle a diet of 50 percent protein (earthworms dusted with a calcium supplement at each feeding and a multivitamin weekly), 40 percent vegetables (lettuce, sweet potato), and 10 percent fruit (raspberries, blueberries) every few days. If he’s still dry, bring him to your vet, who can check for an infection and discuss your tank setup.

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It has a sturdy bungee-style grip to help control your pet’s pull, a waist clip for hands-free use, and a neoprene-lined handle for extra comfort.

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O U R E X P E RT S NANCY KAY, DVM, AUTHOR OF EVAN MAVROMATIS, DVM, THE LINKS ROAD GAYLE O’KONSKI, DVM, MORRIS ANIMAL KRISTIN CLARICOATES VALDES, DVM, CHICAGO

86 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

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Veterinarian Nancy Kay suggests stocking an airtight container with up to three weeks’ worth of food you know your pet will eat even if he’s upset, along with treats he’s used to, in order to prevent a stress-related hunger strike, which can lead to GI issues.

Next, gather a first aid kit with triple antibiotic ointment, bandaging, saline, and a digital thermometer (like the Kurgo Pet First Aid Kit, $30; kurgo.com), along with medical records, a two-week supply of medication he takes regularly, and “anything that would be soothing in a time of stress,” says Kay. On your front window, affix a cling (Imagine This Company decal, $8 for 2; chewy.com) to inform responders how many pets are inside in case you’re away during an emergency, advises veterinarian Gayle O’Konski. Make sure your pet is crate-trained, used to car rides, and fitted with a microchip in case of an evacuation.

TO P : G E T T Y I M AG E S ; L E A S H : M A N F R E D KO H

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R E L AT I N G

Modern Manners R E A L S I M P L E ’ S E T I Q U E T T E E X P E R T, C AT H E R I N E N E W M A N , O F F E R S HER BEST ADVICE ON YO U R S O C I A L Q UA N DA R I E S.

K.K. A SKS...

Thirty years ago, I married into a large family that gathers frequently, often at my house. I’ve started to resent one branch of the family for their failure to do anything to help. They’ve never hosted, cleared a table, emptied the trash, or even washed one dish!

At first I attributed this laziness to youth, but after three decades, these ladies are now all wives and mothers, and I have seen no improvement. The rest of the family will make requests like “Let’s all pitch in,” but they fall on deaf ears. Do you have any advice for how to fix this 30-year problem?

88 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

ABOUT C AT H E R I N E The author of One Mixed-Up Night, Catastrophic Happiness, and Waiting for Birdy, Catherine Newman has shared her wisdom on matters ranging from family and friends to happiness and pickling in numerous publications. She gets advice from her husband and two opinionated children in Amherst, Massachusetts.

Why yes, that is a good problem to have, you lucky, grateful duck. My rule of thumb is to tip excessively on anything free—both to express your appreciation and to make sure your generous server is well compensated. I confirmed this with Emmet Kelty, the bar manager at Tres Gatos in Boston, who told me you should tip at least $5 or half the drink’s value. Regulars (and this includes friends) tend to tip more than this, he explained, to honor the valued relationship they have with their bartender.

I l l u s t r a t i o n s b y Yo c o N a g a m i y a

C AT H E R I N E N E W M A N I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y U L I K N Ö R Z E R

If I were a young woman in a large family where the presumption was—as it seems to be in yours—that only the women are responsible for cleaning up? I might sit it out too, in protest! I’d crack open another beer and find a spot on the couch with all the dads and husbands and sons and uncles. So I’m wondering whether the women in the “lazy” branch are taking their cue from the men in the family. I would address the issue by rigorously organizing labor in the spirit of many hands making light work. Assign teams (nobody exempted, save babies and elders) to 15minute cleanup shifts: clearing the table, putting away the leftovers, washing and drying the dishes, scouring the counters, emptying the trash. And if you’re finding it a burden to take on the lion’s share of hosting, say something in a group email: “Can anyone else host the upcoming holiday gathering? I love seeing you guys, but I’m a little hosted out.”

R.A. A SKS...

How do you tip a bartender who gives you drinks on the house? This question goes for a bartender who is a stranger and one who is a friend. Good problem to have, right?!

L .Y. A S K S . . .

I have just started to date a really great guy. He’s funny, charming, and a gentleman. There’s one small problem: He talks with his mouth full! I have tried doing it myself and correcting it by saying, “Please don’t let me talk while I’m eating,” but he hasn’t taken the hint. I’ve tried looking away, but that’s not really a solution. This is something I’d rather nip in the bud right now. Any suggestions?

“Isn’t that a good question?” I asked my husband, and he laughed through a mouthful of cereal. A special someone in my house also talks with his mouth full, and I’ve been trying to nip it in the bud for 28 years. (That’s an old bud.) Here’s something you can try, which I’ve found to be both decent and helpful: “I want to hear what you’re telling me, but it’s hard when you have food in your mouth. Take your time! I’m happy to wait until you’re done chewing.” Or, more simply and transparently, use the “It’s not you, it’s me” strategy: “I have kind of a pet peeve about people talking with their mouth full. Indulge me?” My husband just wondered aloud about having a code word to cue him when he’s doing it, which sounds to me like the BDSM safe word of table etiquette (“lollipop”?), but maybe it could work. I will try it and report back.

S .G. A S K S . . .

One of my former college roommates started selling skin-care products online. Initially, I felt I needed to support her new business venture, though she already has a very successful career. I purchased her (expensive) product for about one year. Then I saw on social media that this longtime friend, who lives about three hours away, came to my town and did not so much as text me to meet up for a drink.

The insincere product-related emails and Facebook posts have increased while our friendship has completely fizzled. I’ve expressed to her that I’m no longer interested in the product. However, I am left feeling hurt and used. Where should I take the friendship from here?

There are few things more awkward than a friend trying to sell you something. I find this to be true even as a writer: I get in touch with old friends in distant cities but can only see them if they come to my readings (and buy my book!). The need to selfpromote is dominating your friend’s life and turning her into a person you may not recognize or even want to know. I see three main options: (1) Let her go. You were friends for a long time, but now your paths are diverging, and that’s OK. (2) Enjoy whatever there is to enjoy in the friendship, without any expectation that it will be as it was. Or (3) talk to her: “I’d love to maintain our friendship outside of your business project, if you think it’s possible. I couldn’t sustain the expense of that lovely moisturizer you sell, but I really miss seeing you.” This last option is the most challenging but also the most optimistic. Why not try?

HAVE AN E TIQUE T TE QUE STION? Submit your social conundrums to modernmanners@realsimple.com. Selected letters will be featured on these pages every month.

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ċčċăČĒ

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W O R K , M O N E Y, A N D H E A L T H ADVICE FOR BUSY PEOPLE

D O YOU N E E D TH E E X TR A I N S U R A N CE? How much coverage does your puppy need?

Your phone? A diamond ring?

When to check that box and when it’s OK to pass.

B R AT C O . / S T O C K S Y

By Kathleen Murray Harris

It seems whenever we pay for something—whether ski rentals and cellphones or concert tickets and car rentals—we’re asked whether we want to fork over more money to safeguard our purchase. And while playing it safe is a good life mantra, those $10 to $100-plus extras add up.

“For in-the-moment purchases, providers capitalize on your fear of the unknown,” says Jennifer Fitzgerald, cofounder and CEO of Policygenius, an online insurance marketplace.

Anxiety about being liable for the unexpected (a hurricane? a car crash?) and taking a hit to our savings drives us to say yes, she says. But insurance is not always necessary.

Our guide breaks it down.

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A P P L I A N C E WA R R A N T Y EXTENSIONS

RENTER’S INSUR ANCE

Furry Family Members PET INSUR ANCE

Buy it. “It’s heartbreaking to watch families have to decide whether or not they can save their pet’s life because of finances,” says Donnell Hansen, DVM, an oral surgeon at BluePearl Veterinary Partners in Blaine, Minnesota.

“Insurance gives you extra resources and helps get rid of the guilt.” Most plans pay 70 to 90 percent of the cost of procedures, which is significant when you’re facing $2,500 for a fractured tooth or upwards of $6,000 for CCL knee surgery. Research policies first, using a site like NerdWallet or Consumers Advocate.org. Some plans don’t include wellness visits or vaccines, and none cover preexisting conditions, so it’s best to get insurance when your furry friend is a baby, if possible, for lower rates.

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Buy it. “A wild party or overflowing sink can cause significant damage to a structure, which can lead to astronomical repair bills that most renters can’t cover out of their own pockets,” says Neil Richardson, a licensed insurance agent at The Zebra, an insurance comparison site. Plus, your liability coverage often includes protection if your dog bites someone or if your housecleaner slips and gets injured, he adds.

And your personal items are covered if stolen or destroyed. You’ll have to decide between replacement cost coverage (your policy pays to replace your item with a new version) and actual cash value (your policy gives you the depreciated cost of the item). “The premium for replacement cost coverage is more expensive, but it will generally cover your items at a higher amount,” says Richardson.

H VA C A N D U T I L I T Y MAINTENANCE PL ANS

Buy it. “It’s really important to maintain your furnace and air conditioner, because they lose eiciency otherwise, which will hit you in your utility bill,” says Hicks.

Also, you’ll often pay less for up-front service fees and will typically get first priority in the repair queue when your system inevitably goes out on the hottest or coldest day of the year.

H O M E WA R R A N T Y

Depends on the terms.

A home warranty is separate from homeowner’s insurance and is often part of the closing deal. The main benefit is that it can keep you from worrying about unexpected and costly repairs, but warranties come with many restrictions, says Hicks.

You don’t have a say as to how a particular item is replaced or repaired, and you’re beholden to the warranty company’s standards, schedule, and service person. The company decides if you get a replacement or (more likely) a quick fix that will last the life of the warranty. And it chooses the service provider, whose quality of work you might not be happy with, adds Hicks. Before saying yes to a home warranty, ask to see a list of service workers, estimated service fees, and the typical timeline of repairs.

L E F T TO R I G H T : G E T T Y I M AG E S ( 3 ) ; R A I M U N D KO C H / G E T T Y I M AG E S

Around the House

Depends on the item.

For major appliances that you want to keep for more than 10 years and that cost more than $500, like refrigerators and washing machines, it makes sense, says Angie Hicks, cofounder of Angie’s List, a site that provides reviews of and info about consumer services. Skip it for TVs and other electronics whose technology changes so quickly you’d probably end up replacing instead of repairing. “As always, understand what the policy covers, if you still have to pay a service fee, and how the repair will be handled,” says Hicks. She also advises buying the extension from the manufacturer, not the store: “It’s easier to get parts that way.”

When You’re Shopping CELLPHONES

When You’re Traveling R E N TA L C A R S

Depends on your other coverage. Your auto insurance policy should cover rental car damages, meaning you can skip the extra fee, but first call your company to find out about specific exclusions, says Richardson. Also, ask your insurer about your exact travel plan (renting a car in Italy, driving across state lines). “Your regular insurance likely won’t cover everything, and many rental car companies fight for every possible repair,” says Richardson. Credit cards ofer some protection as well, but before you rent, ask your credit card company whether you need to pay for the rental car with that card, whether you need to decline the rental company’s insurance entirely, and whether the credit card company ofers primary rental insurance (meaning you don’t have to file a claim with your own car insurance) or secondary rental insurance (meaning you have to file a claim with your insurance carrier first, which will likely increase your rate).

T R AV E L I N S U R A N C E

Depends on your prepaid expenses. For any trip putting a large amount of money at risk, particularly up-front costs (think group packages and booked cruises), it can be a good idea, says Damian Tysdal of the site Travel Insurance Review. You typically pay between 4 and 8 percent of the total cost of the trip; so if you’re planning a $5,000 vacation, that extra few hundred dollars can give you peace of mind, medical coverage if you’re in a foreign country, and some protection against certain weather disasters, says Fitzgerald. If you booked your trip using a credit card with travel protection or are willing to sacrifice your prepaid expenses, skip it, says Richardson. It’s especially not worth it for smaller costs, like concert tickets, or for last-minute domestic trips—airfare can typically be changed for a fee, and most hotels can be canceled within 48 hours.

Depends on your habits, your device, and your other insurance. Homeowner’s and rental insurance policies should cover theft or accidental damage by a major disaster (like a fire), but your deductible may be higher than the cost of a new phone, and the reimbursement amount may be limited, says Fitzgerald. “Phones are increasing in reliability, so the bigger concern is if it accidentally breaks,” says Daniel Bader, managing editor of Mobile Nations, an online mobile technology resource. Ask yourself, “Am I a perpetual screen shatterer? Do I work around water? Will my kids borrow my device?”

If you answer yes to any of these, insurance is probably worth it. Next, consider how robust your phone, case, and screen protector are. Then do a cost analysis to determine if the extra $10 or so a month adds up to more or less than the price of a phone repair.

If you purchase a plan, go through the manufacturer (if it ofers one), not your carrier. Repairs done through your carrier’s insurance plan can take a few weeks, since the carrier doesn’t have in-house facilities and has less access to inventory.

J E W E L RY I N S U R A N C E

Don’t open a new policy.

Instead, if your piece is worth over $1,500, provide a description and receipt to your homeowner’s or renter’s insurance company for broader protection against theft and loss, says Richardson.

EXTENDED CAR WA R R A N T I E S

Skip it. As with a home warranty, the main benefit is not having to worry about unexpected costs, but these warranties don’t always cover all repairs and aren’t transferable if you sell your car within a few years, says Richardson.

“Also, you may lose coverage if you don’t do proper maintenance,” he adds.

“It’s usually a better deal for the warranty company than you.” When it does makes sense: if your brand of car is known for needing expensive and extensive repairs—but not buying that type of car is the best insurance of all.

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M a k i n g I t Wo r k

What’s your trick for letting go of work thoughts when on vacation?

I used to be distracted with work for the first few days of every vacation because I don’t turn it off and on easily.

Now I know that I have to have a system in place to release work thoughts. When I’m with my family, we bookend the trip with some kind of relaxing activity. We might sleep in on the first and last days, at a minimum. We don’t schedule anything.

That helps me put away the work thoughts and transition into relaxing.

Being intentional about the transition is so important to me.

JENNIFER KEM, 4 4, CEO OF BRANDING AGENCY KEMCOMM IN HONOLULU

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One goal I have when I vacation is to stop multitasking and just focus on a single thing at a time.

I use the vacation to experiment with letting go of the world I’ve created for myself and escaping my routine. I also like to think about what I want to get out of the time. Ask yourself, “What kind of vacation is this? Is this one for the kids?

Is it a retreat for me?

Is it for R & R, to get away?” Knowing the answer creates a purpose for my vacation.

MARSHA NUNLEY, 68, PHYSICIAN SPECIALIZING IN BIOIDENTICAL HORMONES AND HE ALTHY AGING IN SAN FRANCISCO AND AUSTIN, TE XAS

Before I go on vacation, I write out what my intentions are for the trip. I might write down, “I desire this to be a really rejuvenating time” or “I hope to have ease during my check-in and flight.” I meditate on those intentions and put them on an altar in my house, which I use as a place for all the things I want to come to fruition.

I also take crystals and stones with me on vacation: rose quartz for love, citrine for happy energy, and carnelian because it’s grounding. Anytime little things happen on vacation that might agitate me, I take out my crystals and hold them to help me stay in my restful state.

JO-NÁ WILLIAMS, 37, INTELLECTUAL PROPERT Y AND BUSINES S AT TORNEY IN NE W YORK CIT Y

Last year my wife and I went on a trip to Costa Rica.

We bought plane tickets six months in advance and took Spanish classes at a local college to prepare. Since we’d been looking forward to the trip for so long, it was easier to not let myself work while we were away. I didn’t want to spoil all the anticipation we’d had by working. Planning everything so far in advance also helped us make the best use of our time and really made the trip feel special. My first day back at work, I set aside some time to catch up on everything.

We schedule our work and phone time so our family time doesn’t revolve around it on vacation.

I make sure I schedule about an hour of phone and computer time each day and like to do it first thing so it’s out of the way.

I feel better knowing the sky isn’t falling back at work. We also have a family agreement that when we sit down for a meal, there is a no-phone rule. My children fought this rule for a while, but now they put their stuff away and we just enjoy our time together. It’s such a stress reliever.

JON BUSDEKER, 35, FREEL ANCE VIDEO GRAPHER AND NONPROFIT GROUP LE ADER IN ORL AND O, FLORIDA

SUNNY HOSTIN, 49, COHOST OF THE V IE W AND SENIOR LEGAL CORRESP ONDENT FOR ABC NE WS IN NE W YORK CIT Y

Illustration by Andrea Mongia

P H OTO G R A P H S C O U RT E SY O F S U B J ECTS

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Unplug and Recharge Y O U D O N ’ T H A V E T O D O A N E X T R E M E D I G I T A L D E T O X T O F O R M A H E A LT H I E R R E L AT I O N S H I P W I T H YO U R P H O N E . H E R E ’ S H O W T O D I A L B AC K .

By Charlotte Lieberman

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Illustrations by Gracia Lam

A F E W W E E K S AG O, my sister and I went to our parents’ place for dinner. Over a glass of wine before the meal, we were immersed in a fun and lively conversation about Instagram animal influencers, and I randomly asked if anyone knew the diference between a praying mantis and a grasshopper. (Like you do.) Suddenly, the phones came out, Googling began, and there was no turning back. We were mindlessly scampering through the pixelated hills of iPhone Land, and soon enough our whole family was sitting in total silence, together but worlds apart.

Of course, this was not the first time I’d ignored fellow humans in favor of pointless phone activity. You’ve probably been there too. And if you’re like many people, you’ve just about had it with your phone interfering with your well-being.

American adults collectively check their phones 12 billion times per day, according to a 2017 Deloitte survey. That’s a staggering number, but interestingly, it seems to have plateaued since about 2015. One possible reason? Forty-seven percent of survey respondents said they were actively trying to limit phone use.

In fact, there are several new organizations and coalitions advocating for healthier uses of tech. Recently, former Facebook and Google employees and investors joined together to launch an educational campaign called Truth About Tech, a partnership between the Center for Humane Technology, a coalition of tech insiders, and the advocacy group Common Sense, which is committed to helping children and parents navigate media and technology. The campaign’s goals: raise awareness and help software creators design products in such a way that users have a healthier, less intrusive relationship with them. “Tech companies are now engaged in a fullblown arms race to capture and retain human attention,” said Common Sense senior fellow Tristan Harris when the campaign launched. “Plenty of smart engineers and designers in the industry want to create apps that provide us with the information we need to improve our lives as quickly as possible, instead of just sucking us in for as long as possible.”

What’s wrong with the way we use tech now? For one thing, it’s encroaching on time we might otherwise spend doing good things for our physical and mental health. Unsurprisingly, most of our incessant phone checking happens during leisure periods: at meals, during time with friends or family, before bed at night, and before work in the morning—times when we should be recharging our mental batteries. A Bank of America survey found that 71 percent of Americans sleep with their smartphones.

And the consequences are real. “My phone made me jumpy and distracted.

I could never be fully absorbed in what I was doing or pay full attention to the people around me,” admits Monica, 40, a lawyer in Kensington, Maryland.

“My husband was ready to go to counseling if we couldn’t negotiate rules about phone use in our house.”

When I asked research psychologist Larry Rosen, PhD, about why so-called smartphone addiction is so widespread, he corrected my terminology:

“This is really not addiction; it’s an anxiety-based disorder,” he said.

“We’re not checking in to get pleasure.

We’re checking in to remove anxiety.”

(For what it’s worth, this addiction point is up for debate: Many experts say the buzz-like reward we feel with every “like” and notification keeps us coming back for more, much like a cafeine or nicotine addiction.)

Similar to the way many of us may grab a drink or snack at a party to avoid feeling socially awkward, most of us gravitate toward our phones for comfort and distraction when we’re confronted with everyday uncomfortable emotions. Think: Standing in line at the grocery store (boredom). Waiting for a friend at a restaurant (impatience or social anxiety). Missing family (loneliness).

An essential step in developing a healthier relationship with our devices is relearning how to get comfortable with boredom, social anxiety, loneliness, and other unpleasant feelings.

“The phone has allowed us not to tolerate boredom anymore,” says Rosen.

“When the urge strikes you while you’re waiting for a movie to start, don’t grab your phone. Just let your mind wander. It is very diicult to do.”

Ahead, a few ideas for making it easer.

71% OF AMERICANS SLEEP WITH THEIR S M A RT P H O N E S .

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R EC O N S I D E R YO U R M I N D S E T Investigate the impulse.

According to a study by the research firm Dscout, the average smartphone user touches her phone 2,617 times every day.

When most of us act on the impulse to grab our phone to see what’s new— texts, likes, notifications—we’re rarely expecting anything pressing. What if we tried slowing down, allowing ourselves a moment to figure out what we’re really looking for with every phone check?

Yael Shy, a mindfulness meditation teacher and the author of What Now? Meditation for Your Twenties and Beyond, advises: “Before you reach, take a deep breath. How do you feel?

What is leading you to reach for the phone? Is it just habit? Loneliness?

A desire to escape a particular feeling?” Taking that pause ofers a sense of freedom and empowerment, so we can be more intentional about checking our phones when we actually do have something to attend to.

Meet jealousy with gratitude.

Ever felt jealous while scoping your coworker’s beach-vacation pics on Facebook or your yoga teacher’s Instagram story about her dreamy morning meditation routine? In the (presumably) many moments you find yourself comparing yourself with others on social media—whether because of their flawless skin, cute baby, creamy matcha latte, new job, or whatever else—first just notice it’s happening.

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H A C K YO U R P H O N E S O YO U U S E I T L E S S These apps can help you become more mindful of your phone use and interact with your device in a healthier way.

G E T M O T I VAT E D BY P RO D U C T I V I T Y

“See if you can take a few breaths and name the things that are going OK in your life,” advises Shy. “It can remind us that, often, more is going right in our life than wrong.” What do you have to be grateful for?

Let yourself feel whatever comes up.

As Shy suggests, being glued to our phones serves as a convenient way to avoid uncomfortable feelings.

So taking a step back from our phones means more discomfort is bound to come up. But learning to sit with that discomfort—and recognizing that it isn’t harming you—can be powerful.

“When uncomfortable feelings arise, acknowledge the emotion but accept it as normal and healthy,” suggests psychiatrist Victoria Dunckley, MD, author of Reset Your Child’s Brain. “You should feel good about the fact that you’re letting your brain stretch, rest, solve a problem, or work through an emotion every time you resist using your phone.”

Phone interfering with your to-do list? Forest ($2 for iOS; free for Android) aims to help users avoid mindless app switching and multitasking. You plant a cute virtual seedling and, if you resist opening other apps, it will grow into a healthy tree or even a whole forest. (Get sidetracked and your tree will die.) The best part: The app benefits the real tree-planting organization Trees for the Future.

S T I C K T O YO U R T E C H - F R E E M E A L S R E S O LU T I O N Back in the day, your parents might have taken the phone off the hook during dinner. Try DinnerMode (free; iOS only) to help accomplish phone-free meals. When you sit down with loved ones, use the app to set an amount of time, and during that span it will prevent you from accessing apps on your phone.

G E T A WA K E - U P C A L L Is most of your phone time spent emailing, texting, or scrolling through French bulldog feeds?

If you’re not sure, Moment (free; iOS only) can help: It provides stats on not only how much you use your phone each day but also what apps you use. It also provides tools to set limits around your phone usage and even offers a two-week habit-changing boot camp with daily challenges.

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S TAY O N T R A C K Reach out for some real talk.

“Ask your family members or friends how they feel about your technology use—and really listen without getting defensive,” suggests Dunckley. You may find out they feel ignored or frustrated by your lack of presence.

“Though this may be a painful conversation, it can be the kick in the pants needed to make a shift,” she says.

Create a penalty.

Team up with loved ones to stick to tech resolutions, and consider making it interesting. “Implement a ‘tech tax,’ similar to a swear jar,” says Dunckley.

“Whenever someone breaks a rule, she must put money in a jar that goes toward an activity you can all do together.”

EXPERIMENT WITH N E W T EC H H A B I T S Try a “tech break.”

Prioritize your notiications.

Set your phone’s timer for 15 minutes, turn the phone facedown, and don’t touch it until the alarm goes of. When it does, check whatever you want for one minute, then repeat. This teaches your brain that you can be near your phone without being on it and you won’t miss out on anything, explains Rosen. When 15 minutes starts to feel too short, try 20, then 30.

One reason unplugging entirely from tech isn’t realistic: Our phones have become essential for emergencies, communicating with our partners, and being reachable to our kids. So limit phone use with a more balanced approach. “Turn off notifications for everything but phone calls and text messages. That way you won’t miss a text or call from your kids or their school,” advises Caroline Knorr, senior parenting editor at Common Sense Media. And when all your loved ones are together, agree to try putting your phones on silent or in airplane mode to keep distractions to a minimum.

Focus on one screen at a time.

Ever watched TV while scrolling on your phone? Me too. This is a phenomenon experts call “second screening,” and it sets of our stress response even more than looking at a single screen. Don’t worry; no one is telling you not to watch TV. But “practice just watching TV. Practice just playing Words with Friends. Practice just doing one thing,” says Rosen. It’s harder than it sounds. I got through it by noticing how anxious I felt while second screening. The sense of relaxation I got from focusing only on the TV made it all worth it.

Streamline your news consumption.

Relying on social media for news means you see only headlines (often alarming ones) and everyone’s emotional reactions to them. Instead, use one central app or podcast for news.

The New York Times app, for example, provides morning and evening briefings with bullet points and links to the full stories if you’d like to learn more.

Establish speciic “no-phone” times or spaces.

A nonnegotiable rule for Jessica, 28, a stay-at-home mom in Calabash, North Carolina, is no phones in the bedroom or at the dinner table. “I charge my phone in my laundry room. It stays there 90 percent of the time,” she says.

There are plenty of other times when you can have more distance from your phone—before you fall asleep (buy an alarm clock!), during meetings, and on afternoons when you’re with your family and don’t have to worry about being out of reach.

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Ahhh...

When we feel tense or anxious, we tend to tighten our jaw, furrow our brow, or purse our lips. Just relaxing the face can shift our mood. Close your eyes and feel the air rushing past the tip of your nose. Notice how feeling the breath right there softens the throat. Imagine your inhale inflating your cheekbones just a little bit. With each exhale, allow your cheeks to get softer and heavier.

Feel the jaw relaxing. Can the corners of your eyes get heavier too? Ever so slightly, lift the corners of your mouth. Take 10 breaths, giving the small muscles of the face some time to unclench, and notice your mood becoming a little lighter.

OFFSET

— E D WA R D J O N E S , w h e e l a n d a x l e . n e t

Photograph by Oscar Bjarnason

JUNE 2018 REAL SIMPLE

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JUNE 2018 REAL SIMPLE

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REFRESH YO U R F I LT E R S

APPLIA NCE S Re fr i g e ra to r

VA CUUM: If you vacuum weekly, wash the filter in soapy water once a month and let air-dry.

The filter should be replaced annually.

MA K E-IT-L A ST H A B IT:

Condenser coils—the large, radiatorlike element at the back of or under the appliance—remove heat from your refrigerator and freezer.

When dust and dirt stick to the coils, the machine can’t shed heat as eiciently, which can mean higher utility bills and costly repairs.

Check the owner’s manual to see how often to clean the coils; use your vacuum’s brush attachment.

T RO U B L E S H O OTI N G: If your

refrigerator sounds like it’s straining, make sure the condenser coils are clean, there’s at least one inch between the fridge and the wall for adequate air flow, and the gasket (door seal) is not dry or cracking.

D i s hwa s h e r MA K E-IT-L A ST H A B IT:

Adhesives from jars of jelly or pasta sauce can clog the filter and hose.

So can the oils and dirt from things like gardening and painting tools. And it may sound obvious, but don’t put nondishwasher-safe items in the dishwasher—you could damage the item, yes, but you may also harm the machine.

T RO U B L E S H O OTI N G: Use a dishwasher cleaner, like Afresh ($9; amazon.com), every 30 uses or so. The tablet’s ingredients break down mineral deposits and help dislodge food residue.

108 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

P OD COFFEE MAKER: Filters usually need to be changed about every two months; check the owner’s manual to be sure.

O ve n MAKE-IT-L A ST H AB IT: Keep a baking sheet on the lower rack to catch spills. If food splatters, scrape it of with a spatula after the oven cools. Coat big spills with salt while the mess is hot.

The next morning, you’ll be able to scoop up the salt pile without breaking a sweat.

T RO U B L E S H O OTI N G: Moisture

buildup on the inside of the oven’s glass panel means the seal has been compromised. Check the owner’s manual to figure out what kind of replacement gasket to buy.

The fix should take just minutes.

M i c rowa ve MAKE-IT-L A ST H AB IT: Clean up spills as soon as they happen.

Once a week, wipe down the door seal, frame, and control panel using a cloth dampened with all-purpose cleaner. Grime, grease, and food particles can gunk up the machine and shorten its life span.

T RO U B L E S H O OTI N G: If your microwave is acting up, visit repairclinic.com to help diagnose the problem. Enter your model number in the Repair Help section of the site and look at the list of symptoms (buttons don’t work, turntable doesn’t rotate) to learn the most likely cause of the issue and how to fix it.

STOVE HO OD: Aluminum grease filters should be cleaned every three months with soap and warm water. Charcoal filters need to be replaced every 6 to 12 months.

HUMIDIFIER PA NEL: Replace the filter once each heating season.

FURNACE: In general, if you have one- or two-inch filters, change them every month or two. Thicker filters should be swapped out every three to six months. If you have pets, lean toward more frequent replacements.

BAT H RO OM FA N: Clean it twice a year. If the fan cover can be removed, wipe down the blades and other nonelectric parts with a cloth sprayed with all-purpose solution.

R EFR I GER ATOR WATE R F I LT E R: These typically need to be replaced twice a year, but follow the guidelines in the owner’s manual.

Upholster y

Wa s h e r MA K E-IT-L A ST H A B IT:

Keep the door open between cycles to help it fully dry and to avoid mold growth.

ARO U N D THE H O USE

T RO U B L E S H O OTI N G: If your machine is rocking or vibrating, make sure it’s level. The legs on most models are adjustable, but at least two people are needed to adjust them safely.

D r ye r MA K E-IT-L A ST H A B IT:

Overloading the dryer is one of the quickest ways to shorten its life span, so follow the manual’s guidelines on load capacity.

PROTECT IT: Once a month, remove debris from the surface and beneath the cushions with your vacuum’s upholstery attachment.

Treat the fabric with a soil repellent, like 303 Fabric Guard ($25; crate andbarrel.com for stores), to help create a barrier against spills.

RE VIVE IT: Clean spills as soon as possible, but test your solution on an inconspicuous spot first to make sure it doesn’t leave a mark. For linen and cotton upholstery, spray the area with Capture Soil Release Pre-Mist ($6; homedepot.com) followed by Capture Carpet and Rug Dry Cleaner ($15; lowes.com). Use a dry cloth to gently work the powder into the fabric, wait 30 minutes, then vacuum. If the stain remains after two attempts, call in a pro.

T RO U B L E S H O OTI N G:

If clothes take longer than 60 minutes to dry, lint is likely clogging the venting system.

Remove stubborn residue from the lint filter with a bristle brush, and replace the filter if you see any rips or holes. Use the hose attachment on your vacuum to clean out the lint screen housing.

Once a year, remove the aluminum vent pipe from the dryer’s rear and clean out lint or foreign objects with a 20-foot-long dryer vent cleaning brush (Cleaning Brush 18001034, $41; repair clinic.com). While you’re at it, unplug the machine, remove the lower front or back panel, and vacuum out the dryer cabinet.

DID YOU KNOW? Maintenance on your central air system can be pretty involved, so it’s best to hire a pro.

But you can help by keeping the condenser clear of shrubs and lawn debris.

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To i l e t B ow l B r u s h P l a s t i c Fo o d C o n t a i n e rs PROTECT THEM: To help keep tomato sauce or soup stains at bay, spritz containers with nonstick cooking spray before filling them with red-colored leftovers.

RE VIVE THEM: To help remove stains and odors, wipe with a paper towel dampened with lemon juice and put the open container in the sun for at least an hour.

P ROTECT IT: We all want to make haste with the toilet bowl brush, but resist the urge to put it back in the caddy while wet—you’ll encourage bacteria growth. After using it, put the handle under the closed toilet seat so the brush can drip into the bowl until fully dry (about 10 minutes).

RE VIVE IT: To disinfect the brush, pour a half cup of bleach directly into the toilet bowl and let the brush hang out in there for a few minutes. Dry as instructed above.

Towe l s PROTECT THEM: More soap doesn’t mean more clean. You’ll only wind up with towels that are stif, rough, and potentially coated in residue (which may encourage mold and bacteria growth). Instead, read the detergent’s directions and err on the scant side of suds.

RE VIVE THEM: Add a half cup of white vinegar to your washing machine’s liquid fabric softener dispenser when you wash towels.

It will strip away residue and leave towels soft and flufy—without smelling like vinegar.

K n i ve s PROTECT THEM: Don’t throw them into a drawer with other silverware or utensils or you’ll risk nicked blades. Instead, pop your knives onto a magnetic board or into a knife block. If they must go in a drawer, sheath them in a plastic edge guard first (from $4; williams-sonoma.com). Avoid running them through the dishwasher, as doing so can warp the handle or mar the blade.

RE VIVE THEM: Regular honing will help keep knives sharp, but you’ll still need to sharpen them at least annually. Check to see if your local hardware store will sharpen them, or handle the task yourself with a handheld sharpener. Avoid electric sharpeners, which may strip away too much metal.

110 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

DID YOU KNOW? Smoke alarms can wear out over time and should be replaced ever y 10 years. Replace carbon monoxide detectors ever y five years.

M a t t re s s

Baking Sheets

P ROTECT IT: Make your sleep space a no-food zone. And invest in a mattress cover with a tight weave and a zipper closure to keep out allergens.

PROTECT THEM: Line with a piece of parchment or silicone before baking—both will prevent burned-on residue without afecting cooking time.

RE VIVE IT: Twice a year, sprinkle the mattress with a thin layer of baking soda. Let it sit for 15 minutes, then vacuum using the upholstery attachment.

RE VIVE THEM: Soak in soapy water, sprinkle with baking soda, then scrub with a cut raw potato.

The vegetable contains oxalic acid, a nontoxic acid that helps dissolve rust. Steel wool can damage the surface and lead to small scratches that cause sticking and burning.

S h owe r C u r t a i n P ROT ECT IT: After you exit the shower, spread out the curtain liner rather than leaving it bunched to one side (which can trap moisture and encourage mildew growth). Running the bathroom fan or leaving a window open for 10 minutes can help pull moisture from the room.

RE VIVE IT: To banish soap scum and mildew, pop the curtain liner into the washing machine with regular detergent plus a cup of white vinegar. Add a few towels along with it—the fabric will create extra friction for a deeper clean. Hang to air-dry.

To a s t e r P ROTECT IT: Crumbs aren’t just

messy; they can afect the way the machine cooks the bread, so it might get too dark and could even catch fire. Hold the toaster upside down over the trash and gently tap the sides to dislodge any bits of bread that didn’t make it to the crumb tray. Clear the crumb tray weekly.

RE VIVE IT: Unplug the toaster and clear out the interior slots with a small pastry or basting brush.

M a ke u p B r u s h e s PROTECT THEM: Close the toilet lid. Microscopic bits of fecal matter can spray up to six feet every time someone flushes, which means your beloved brushes could be coated with nasty bacteria if you leave them out in the open.

RE VIVE THEM: Once a week, dip dampened bristles into a bit of dish soap, massage under warm water, then rinse. Try not to get the base of the bristles wet, which can loosen the glue that holds them in place, shortening the life span. Lay flat to dry.

For a list of products that will help you keep things like new, visit realsimple.com/cleaners.

THREE THINGS TO REPL ACE MORE OFTEN T H A N YO U THINK YO UR TO OT HBRUSH: For the most hygienic and effective cleaning, experts recommend starting fresh every three to four months or when you notice the bristles becoming frayed.

If you’re keen to cut down on waste, consider Quip (from $25; getquip.com), a service that mails you a fresh head to pop onto the same handle every three months.

SHOWER LO OFAHS: The synthetic mesh you use to get your body clean can also be a breeding ground for bacteria. Hanging it to drip-dry will help, but you’ll still want to swap in a fresh one every two months.

KI TCHEN S P ONG E: Microbiologists have found that kitchen sponges can harbor 82 billion bacteria per cubic inch—and the strongest bugs survived even after the sponge was microwaved. Toss and replace every one to two weeks.

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W h i t e T- S h i r t s

S t a n d M i xe r P ROT ECT IT: Get in the habit of not just washing the bowl and accessories but also wiping down the mixer body, paying special attention to the nooks and crannies where bits of batter and food can get lodged. Check the care guide to determine if the accessories are dishwasher safe, and make sure you’re not overtaxing the motor by exceeding the flour limit.

RE VIVE IT: If the bottom of the beater is too close to the bowl, it can create chips and scrapes or even motor issues. If it’s too far away, the mixer can’t do its job. If you notice the beater is touching the bowl or there’s a frustrating amount of untouched flour along the bowl’s bottom, check the manual for instructions on adjusting the beater-to-bowl clearance.

It’s an easy fix that takes less than two minutes.

FRO M YO UR CLOSE T

O U R E X P E RT S

Linda Cobb, author of the Queen of Clean book series Markus Egert, PhD, microbiologist at Furtwangen University in Germany Libby Godecke, founder and principal baker at Chicago Custom Cakes Donna Smallin Kuper, certified housecleaning technician and author of Clear the Clutter, Find Happiness Becky Rapinchuk, creator of cleanmama.net and author of Simply Clean Chris Zeisler, technical service supervisor at repairclinic.com

112 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

D O pretreat sweat stains with a specialty soap (like The Laundress Stain Solution, $18; thelaundress .com) or a paste of baking soda and water; let it sit on the discoloration for 30 minutes before washing.

C a s h m e re S we a t e rs D ON’ T hang them—they will

stretch and lose their shape. Fold the sweaters instead.

D O hand-wash them several times a season (rather than after every wear). Use mild soap (like Woolite Everyday, $9; homedepot.com), then dry by rolling the sweater in a towel and pressing gently. Let it air-dry on a flat surface. Direct heat and agitation are the enemy.

B ra s D ON’ T just toss them into a drawer. The cups will maintain their shape best if you stack them in a row, like you see at lingerie shops, or hang them in your closet.

D O wash them by hand or in a mesh bag every three or four wears, using a detergent made for delicates. Air-dry rather than using the dryer, which can destroy the bra’s stretch.

Leather Shoes D ON’ T store of-season shoes

in plastic tubs, which can trap moisture and weaken the leather.

Stick with breathable shoe boxes or an out-of-the-way shoe rack.

D O make polishing a habit. Clean them first, as shoe polish can seal in dirt. Daily upkeep—like a quick swipe with a cloth to remove dirt and dust—can dramatically extend the life of your leather.

Lindsey Boyd and Gwen Whiting, cofounders of the Laundress

D ON’ T fear the washing machine.

Cotton and linen are incredibly durable fibers, and the best way to skirt stains is to deep-clean.

S n e a ke rs D ON’ T bleach your dirty white laces—it may weaken the fibers and lead to breaking. Instead, soak laces in warm water with an all-purpose bleach alternative (like OxiClean Versatile Stain Remover Free, $8; target.com).

D O treat the insoles with a deodorizer, and use a handheld steamer to blast away smelly bacteria. For dirty mesh, scrub with a soft-bristled toothbrush dipped in a cup of warm, soapy water.

Tights D ON’ T cheap out when you purchase. First, consider the opaqueness: The sheerer the tights, the more fragile the material tends to be. Pay attention to the denier (a unit of weight used to determine the tights’ thickness). An 80-denier knit, for example, will probably be much more durable than a 35-denier pair, which will be sheerer and may be more prone to runs. Look for a sheerness-price combination that will give you optimal durability at a palatable cost. Size up if you’re at the higher end of the range to prevent stretching.

D O give tights the same care you give your bras: Hand-wash or use a mesh bag in the washing machine, opt for a detergent made for delicates, and skip the dryer.

Prop St yling by Megumi Emoto

DID YOU KNOW? Rolling socks into a ball can stretch out the elastic.

Instead, stack each set and fold them in half or thirds. And to prevent sock loss in the wash, tr y sock clips ($15 for 32; sockclip.com).

SUMMER FLING PEACH AND A RU G U L A S A L A D WITH B U R R ATA

114 REAL SIMPLE

T H I N K F RU I T I S J U ST F O R B R E A K FA ST A N D S N AC K S ?

THESE E A SY RECIPES SHOW OFF THE S AVO RY S I D E O F T H I S S E A S O N ’ S S W E E T E ST P RO D U C E .

Re c i p e s b y ANNA THEOKTISTO Photographs by GREG DUPREE

G R E E N G A Z PA C H O W I T H G R A P E S, H O N E Y D E W, AND CUCUMBER

SKILLET CHICKEN THIGHS WITH BALSAMIC GLAZE AND FRESH C H E R RY S A L S A

G R E E N G A Z PA C H O WITH GRAPES, H O N E Y D E W, A N D CUCUMBER PEACH AND A RU G U L A S A L A D W I T H B U R R ATA

ACT I V E T I M E 2 0 M I N U T E S TOTA L T I M E 1 H O U R SERVES 6

ACT I V E T I M E 2 0 M I N U T E S TOTA L T I M E 2 0 M I N U T E S SERVES 4

GAZPACHO 1 loaf ciabatta cup olive oil

cup olive oil cup packed fresh basil leaves cup chopped fresh chives

1 English cucumber, coarsely chopped medium honeydew melon, chopped (about 3 cups) 2 cups seedless green grapes

2 ripe peaches, sliced 1 ball burrata or fresh mozzarella

1 tsp. kosher salt Freshly ground black pepper, for serving

FOOD ST YLING BY CHEL SE A ZIMMER; PROP ST YLING BY CL AIRE SPOLLEN; EMBROIDERY BY JOSIE BASK ARAN FOR EMBROIDME

cup roasted, salted almonds, roughly chopped

RELISH cup finely chopped English cucumber

tsp. freshly ground black pepper

cup finely chopped honeydew melon oil, basil, and chives in a food processor. Process until very smooth and fully incorporated, 1 to 2 minutes, stopping to scrape down sides of bowl as needed. Pour mixture through a fine-mesh strainer, pressing on solids to extract oil.

Discard solids.

COMBINE

prosciutto on a serving platter. Gently toss arugula with 2 tablespoons herb oil in a large bowl.

Add peaches and gently toss to combine. Arrange mixture on top of prosciutto. Tear burrata into pieces and place on top of salad. Drizzle with 2 more tablespoons herb oil.

(Reserve remaining herb oil for another use.)

cup finely chopped seedless green grapes 1 Tbsp. olive oil 1 Tbsp. white wine vinegar 1 Tbsp. chopped fresh dill 1 Tbsp. chopped fresh chives tsp. kosher salt

ARRANGE

with chopped almonds and season with salt and pepper.

TOP

8 bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs, patted dry

3 Tbsp. white wine vinegar

1 bunch scallions, coarsely chopped

tsp. kosher salt

ACT I V E T I M E 2 0 M I N U T E S TOTA L T I M E 4 5 M I N U T E S SERVES 4

3 Tbsp. fresh lime juice (from 2 limes)

2 oz. thinly sliced prosciutto 3 cups loosely packed baby arugula (2 oz.)

SKILLET CHICKEN THIGHS WITH BALSAMIC GLAZE AND FRESH C H E R RY S A L S A

the gazpacho: Slice ciabatta in half crosswise; slice half of loaf into 6 slices, toast, and set aside. Cut remaining half into 1-inch cubes and toss with 1 cup water, oil, lime juice, and vinegar in a medium bowl. Let stand until bread is soggy, about 10 minutes. Place cucumber, melon, grapes, scallions, salt, and soaked bread in a blender and process until smooth. Cover and refrigerate.

MAKE

the relish: Mix all relish ingredients in a small bowl.

MAKE

gazpacho topped with relish and several grinds of pepper. Serve with toasted bread.

SERVE

1 1

tsp. freshly ground black pepper, divided tsp. kosher salt, divided 1 Tbsp. olive oil 2 small shallots, thinly sliced 1 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice (from 1 lemon) 1 tsp. honey 8 oz. fresh cherries, pitted and chopped (1 cups) cup chopped fresh flatleaf parsley 1 tsp. chopped fresh thyme 2 Tbsp. unsalted butter, melted 2 Tbsp. bottled balsamic glaze

PREHEAT oven to 400°F. Season chicken on both sides with 1 teaspoon each pepper and salt. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high.

Working in batches, add chicken to skillet, skin side down, and cook until browned, about 5 minutes.

Transfer, skin side up, to a rimmed baking sheet. Roast until skin is crispy and chicken is cooked through, 15 to 20 minutes.

MEANWHILE, mix shallots, lemon juice, honey, and remaining teaspoon salt in a small bowl. Let stand 10 minutes; stir in cherries, parsley, and thyme. Stir butter, balsamic glaze, and remaining teaspoon pepper in a separate small bowl.

chicken topped with balsamic glaze and cherry salsa.

SERVE

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M I X E D B E R RY – RHUBARB C RU M B L E C A K E

PINEAPPLE, SWORDFISH, AND RED ONION KEBABS

M I X E D B E R RY – RHUBARB C RU M B L E C A K E ACT I V E T I M E 2 0 M I N U T E S TOTA L T I M E 3 H O U R S SERVES 12

CRUMBLE TOPPING 1

cups rolled oats 1 cup all-purpose flour cup packed light brown sugar cup chopped pecans 1 tsp. kosher salt cup (1 stick) cold unsalted butter, cut into cubes

CAKE cup (1 sticks) unsalted butter, softened, plus more for dish 3 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for dish 1

cups granulated sugar 3 large eggs 1 Tbsp. baking powder 1 tsp. kosher salt 1 cup whole milk 1 Tbsp. vanilla extract

PINEAPPLE, SWORDFISH, AND RED ONION KEBABS ACT I V E T I M E 3 0 M I N U T E S TOTA L T I M E 1 H O U R , 30 MINUTES SERVES 4

4 cloves garlic, finely chopped 1 1 -in. piece fresh ginger, peeled and finely chopped

5 cups cold sparkling water or club soda Lemon slices, for garnish

tsp. crushed red pepper 3 Tbsp. olive oil, plus more for grill grates 2 Tbsp. fresh lime juice (from 1 lime), plus lime wedges for serving 2 lb. skinless swordfish, cut into 1-in. pieces fresh pineapple, peeled, cored, and cut into 1-in. pieces red onion, cut into 1-in. pieces

Powdered sugar, for serving MAKE

WHISK baking powder, salt, and flour in a bowl. With mixer on low, add flour mixture to butter mixture in 3 additions, alternating with milk, beginning and ending with flour mixture, beating well after each addition. Beat in vanilla. Transfer batter to prepared baking dish.

3 cups chopped cantaloupe

1 tsp. freshly ground black pepper

2 cups chopped rhubarb

the cake: Preheat oven to 350°F. Lightly butter a 13-by-9-inch baking dish.

Dust with flour and tap out excess. Using an electric mixer, beat butter on medium until creamy, about 2 minutes. Add granulated sugar and beat until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating well after each addition.

1 cup sugar 3 Tbsp. pink peppercorns, plus more for garnish

1 tsp. kosher salt

2 cups fresh raspberries

MAKE

ACTIVE TIME 20 MINUTES TOTA L T I M E 3 H O U R S , 20 MINUTES SERVES 8

1 cup fresh lemon juice (from 4 to 5 lemons), chilled

2 cups fresh blueberries

the crumble topping: Mix oats, flour, brown sugar, pecans, and salt in a medium bowl. Add butter and knead until mixture resembles coarse crumbs.

S PA R K L I N G C A N TA L O U P E LEMONADE

Fresh cilantro leaves and tender stems, for serving garlic, ginger, salt, black pepper, crushed red pepper, oil, and lime juice in a medium bowl. Add swordfish and gently stir to coat. Cover and marinate in the refrigerator for 1 hour.

STIR

a grill or grill pan over high. Thread swordfish, pineapple, and onion onto 16 6-inch bamboo skewers. Lightly oil grates and grill kebabs, turning occasionally, until fish is just cooked through, 3 to 4 minutes.

PREHEAT

topped with cilantro, with lime wedges alongside.

SERVE

COMBINE sugar, peppercorns, and 1 cup water in a small saucepan.

Bring to a boil and cook, stirring, until sugar dissolves; let cool completely. Strain mixture and discard peppercorns. Chill until very cold, about 2 hours.

PL ACE cantaloupe in a blender and process until very smooth, about 1 minute. Pour through a fine-mesh strainer, pressing on solids to remove juice (you should have 1 cup juice). Discard solids.

STIR together chilled syrup, cantaloupe juice, and lemon juice in a large pitcher and chill until ready to serve.

before serving, add sparkling water to chilled juice mixture. Serve over ice, garnished with lemon slices and pink peppercorns.

JUST

B O O Z Y S PA R K L I N G C A N TA L O U P E LEMONADE S E R V E S 8 TO 10

Prepare recipe as directed, stirring in 1 cups vodka or gin just before serving.

blueberries, raspberries, rhubarb, and 2 cups crumble topping in a large bowl; sprinkle mixture over batter. Top with remaining crumble topping.

MIX

until a toothpick inserted in the center of cake comes out clean, 65 to 70 minutes, Let cool and dust with powdered sugar before serving.

BAKE

120 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

For more sweet inspiration, check out our eight healthy fruit desserts at realsimple.com/fruitdesserts.

S PA R K L I N G C A N TA L O U P E LEMONADE

WHITE SHIRTS FOR THE WIN We found the freshest takes on your favorite staple.

Could anything be easier?

Rebecca Daly P H OTO G R A P H S BY Ericka McConnell ST Y L I N G BY Melinda Tarbell FA S H I O N E D I TO R

Pretty and practical, a wrap style is fully adjustable and ensures a neat, no-gape fit.

Look for updates like surprising silhouettes and tie sleeves.

They make the closet classic feel anything but basic.

TO BUY: OS Cotton-Linen with Gathered Sleeves top, $99; cosstores.com. Madewell Wide Leg Crop jeans, $128; madewell.com. Universal Thread Avianna Low Vamp mules, $28; target.com.

The9thMuse Maria ring, $136; the9thmuse.com. (Opposite page) Joie Wrap blouse, $198; joie.com. Banana Republic Boucle Stripe shorts, $58; bananarepublic.com. Chan Luu Large Handwoven Bamboo basket, $95, and Marigold Mix Basket Tassel charm, $25; chanluu.com. A.V. Max Bold Square bangle, $45; avmaxnyc .com. Sarah Chloe Multi Wire band, $119; sarahchloe.com.

TO BUY: NYDJ Wide

Placket shirt, $88; nydj.com. Oak + Fort tank, $38; oakandfort .com. L’Agence Danica Wide Leg jeans, $255; lagencefashion.com.

Dolce Vita Haya sandals, $120; dolcevita.com.

Lulus Hotsy Totsy sunglasses, $16; lulus .com. Adina Reyter Bar Chain necklace, $650; adinareyter.com.

Do the twist: To get this look, secure the button at your bustline only, cross the shirttails, and tuck.

Voilà! Effortless summer style.

For a white-onwhite ensemble that’s crisp and clean, steer clear of creamy or gray tones.

124 RE AL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

Feeling too...buttoned-up? Try leaving the shirt open and wearing it as a layer, or opt for design details—short sleeves, ladder stitching, a lightweight linen blend—that offer a relaxed, weekend vibe.

TO BUY: (Above) Gap Fitted Boyfriend shirt, $50; gap.com.

Everlane tank, $20; everlane.com. A.P.C. Etroit Court jeans, $220; usonline.apc.fr. Old Navy Denim Chore jacket, $40; oldnavy.com. Oak + Fort necklace, $24; oakandfort.com.

(Right) Scotch & Soda Short Sleeve Boxy Fit button-up, $138; scotch-soda.com. Ann Taylor The Crop pants, $79; anntaylor .com. Clyde New Romantic hat, $274; clyde.world. Tribe + Glory Ankole Horn bangle set, $65; tribeandglory.com. French Connection ring, $18; frenchconnection.com.

HAIR AND MAKEUP BY Deborah Brider at Photogenics

Army using MAC Cosmetics and Harry Josh Tools

the white shirt awards

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Pair a button-up shirt with summery styles, like a casual maxi skirt and sandals, to create an unexpected warmweather silhouette.

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Photographs by Dyad Photgraphy

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JUNE 2018 REAL SIMPLE

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throw a party with heart Ever leave an event feeling a little unfulfilled? According to Priya Parker, author of the new book The Art of Gathering, we feel this way because we focus too much on party prep and not enough on people.

Jancee Dunn tries Parker’s tips for being a better host.

Illustrations by Anne Bentley

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a few months ago, I hosted a dinner for friends that never really got of the ground. I couldn’t understand it: I’d spent hours making a killer mushroom lasagna. I’d scrubbed and decluttered the apartment. I’d toiled over the music playlist.

Yet the whole evening was just kind of…blah. We all made chitchat, but it was a bit labored and punctuated by awkward silences. “I don’t get it,” I thought in a mild panic. “Why isn’t this happening?” After my last guest made for the door—a few polite minutes after dessert—I was happy to proceed directly to my pajamas, relieved it was over.

Why do so many get-togethers leave us feeling vaguely unsatisfied and a little hollow? Priya Parker, a group facilitator with a background in conflict resolution and the founder of Thrive Labs, which helps leaders have more meaningful gatherings, was struck by the same thought. Parker says we focus a lot on entertaining— picking the perfect recipes, setting the right playlist— but don’t really talk about the how of hosting once everyone is in the room.

Her new book, The Art of Gathering, is about stepping back and setting an intention for every event, big or small—weddings, backyard barbecues, business meetings. She maintains that you don’t need to be an extrovert or have a fancy house to make an occasion meaningful and memorable. All that’s required is a little planning and a few simple changes. I tried Parker’s advice to spruce up my own gatherings—and picked up some game-changing tips that even a novice host can easily put into practice.

COMMIT TO A SPECIFIC PURPOSE

Having a clear intention for a party from the get-go will make your gathering less one-size-fits-all or bland.

Before you begin planning an event, ask yourself two questions: “Why are we gathering?” and “Why is it important?” Every time you reach a deeper reason, ask

130 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

“why” again. “Sometimes it takes four answers to drill down to the real objective,” says Parker. “Like if you ask a friend why she wants a baby shower, she may finally say, ‘I guess I’m scared of the actual labor and birth, and I want to be rallied by people who have been through this before.’ ” If the answer is, “Well, this is the way we’ve always done it,” keep digging. Parker says sometimes we throw weddings, bar mitzvahs, and graduation ceremonies that are so tied to tradition that they don’t represent a person’s life and personality. Ask yourself, “Does this gathering reflect my values? And if not, how can I change it so it does?”

When Parker learned I was planning a dinner for six worn-out mom friends, she drilled me with “why” questions. At first, my answer was, “Because it’s fun to hang out.” Isn’t that enough? But she pressed on, eventually extracting the story of how, when I recently went on a playdate, my friend made me lunch. Since I’m usually the family chef, I was so pleased—and amused, because out of parental habit, she cut my sandwich into quarters and served me carrot sticks. I realized that I wanted to get together because I needed, on a very elemental level, to feel cared for—and I wanted to make my friends feel the same way.

B E S T R A T E G I C W I T H T H E S PA C E

It’s said that 90 percent of what makes a get-together successful is put in place before the event—starting with the space. It’s tempting to book a massive venue for your shindig, but bigger is not better, says Parker. When people drift through a cavernous space, they miss one of the most delightful things about a party: the opportunity to bump into someone new and start a conversation. If you’re hosting a large group, build in contained areas for people to congregate. One veteran event planner told Parker that the reason guests often end up gravitating toward the kitchen is that people instinctively seek out smaller spaces as the group dwindles, in order to maintain the density. Gatherings need perimeters, or all the buzzy energy leaks out.

THE FIR ST FEW MINUTES SET THE TONE

132 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

I F Y O U ’ R E G O I N G T O H O S T, H O S T W I T H RU L E S

You’re the glue that binds everyone together. “No one wants to be in a lawless place,” says Parker. “Don’t leave your guests to themselves. Your job is to protect, connect, and equalize them.” That means using your power: If someone is domineering the table, take back the conversation. If two old friends are catching up for hours in a corner, find a subtle way to separate them or bring over other guests to mingle. And make introductions, even if it’s a quick “Melissa, meet Jake—you both have Chihuahuas!”

Parker says rules force people to be more present in a situation, allowing them to go deeper into an expe-

B O O K P H OTO G R A P H BY M A N F R E D KO H

T E L L A S T O RY W I T H T H E I N V I T E

It’s also tempting to send a quick invitation with the basic details. But Parker says invitations are the perfect opportunity to make your event feel personal before anyone sets foot in the room. She urged me to put myself out there when I emailed the invite to my WornOut Mom Hootenanny. (If you want your gathering to feel authentic, it starts with you.) She had me lead with the sandwich story, then add something specific: “For those of you so often in the giving role, it’s nice to be in the receiving role. In that vein, I wanted to throw a party to make us all feel cared for. Let’s order in something special so no one has to cook. Also: Say the word ‘kids’ at any point in the evening and you have to drink.”

All six friends RSVP’d yes within the hour.

Studies show that people disproportionately remember the beginning and the end of an experience. Yet we often pay the least amount of attention to how we open and close an event. “We treat it as an afterthought and focus on the logistics and food instead,” says Parker. “It’s such a missed opportunity.” She says starting and ending an event doesn’t have to involve grand gestures or speeches.

She suggests ushering people in by lighting a candle, pouring every guest a special drink at the same time, or making a brief welcome toast.

One of Parker’s friends, for instance, had Christmas party guests send copies of two photos of happy moments from the past year. As a surprise, he decorated a Christmas tree with them, and after everyone arrived, they had a festive cocktail around the tree, sharing stories— starting the party on a personal, reflective note.

When I hosted an impromptu Friday night chili dinner party, Parker urged me to make some brief remarks about why I felt moved to bring everyone together. I’m not the announcement type, but I plunged in anyway.

Haltingly, I told them that because the news cycle had been particularly stressful that week, it was so reassuring to see their faces, which made me feel connected.

And grounded. And grateful that we could gather around the table on a blustery night.

My friends all burst into applause.

As the host, you’re the glue that binds everyone together.

Your job is to protect, connect, and equalize your guests.

rience. As the host of a dinner party, you can spark connections by issuing decrees such as “There can be only one conversation at the table.” This prevents separate conversations at either end. (Inevitably, the group you’re not in is the one having the livelier conversation, with lots of whooping and hollering.)

A savvy host Parker knows announces that each guest has one task before dinner: to make two new friends.

A secret society in San Francisco issued a rule during an event that you couldn’t pour your own drink; you had to approach someone else to pour it for you. I told my friend Sean about this rule before he threw a 40th-birthday bash at which many partygoers would know him but not one another. He loved the idea (Sean is a bit of a disrupter) and posted a sign by the bar stating the rule. It was a smash, encouraging guests to playfully interact—and the more drinks they ordered, the more people they met.

Strive to keep conversations real. Polite chitchat may be safe, but many experts believe people tend to remember more emotional events better than less emotional ones. Don’t be afraid to get intimate. To inspire a lively discussion, Parker devised a dinner called 15 Toasts.

The premise is simple: Fifteen guests, seated around a single table, are given an open-ended theme, such as trust or the concept of home. At some point, each must give a toast related to that theme (and to keep things moving, the last guest must sing the toast). As she hosted more and more of these dinners, she realized that the best themes were not the sweet ones (such as “What makes a good life?”) but those that had a darker side to them: fear, strangers, borders. “It makes the conversation richer and rawer,” she says. “Far too many gatherings are run on a cult of positivity.”

Or ask guests to share “crucible moments,” challenging instances in their lives that shaped them in some deep way and shifted their view of the world. Do that, says Parker, and “armor falls of.” I tried it at a friend’s housewarming party; two hours later, we were still on the subject. Some of us got teary—and I learned revelatory new things about friends I had known for decades.

One revealed that after the death of her mother, with whom she had had a contentious relationship, she felt a flood of pure relief. Another shared his immigrant mother’s wearisome struggles to assimilate and how that shaped his ambition. A third talked about the day she decided to quit her lucrative job to escape a toxic boss.

Other surefire conversation starters: At a book group, ask, “What book really afected you as a child?” During a dinner party, ask, “Which parts of your life have been a waste of time?” Inspired by the philosopher and writer Theodore Zeldin, Parker says she loves to ask people what they have rebelled against and what they are currently rebelling against. (“It’s a question that always works,” she says.) As host, you’ll probably have to answer first, but if you allow yourself to be vulnerable, guests will follow suit—you’ll “crack others open,” as Parker says—and sharing something genuine and moving is what makes a gathering soar.

C L O S E Y O U R E V E N T D E C I S I V E LY

We’ve all been there: It’s late, people are furtively tiptoeing toward the door, and the party fizzles out. Guests want structure and direction, says Parker—so signal the end with an exit line. Thank everyone and wrap up with a few highlights from the event (“I’ll never forget Alex’s story of how his mom immigrated to America”).

If you’re hosting at your home, suggest that everyone move to the living room for “one last” drink or cofee.

Then end with a personal touch by walking each guest to the door to say goodbye. Prolong the warmth by handing them a small keepsake or treat as they head out. After my chili party, I brought out a bowl of fancy chocolate bars and had every guest choose one. I watched in amusement as my friends, solidly in midlife, acted like greedy toddlers, playfully squabbling over their favorites. My friends still talk about that bowl of candy bars. “These are tiny little acts,” says Parker. “But they add up to something bigger. They say, ‘You matter.’ ”

ABOUT THE BO OK Priya Parker’s The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters was published

by Riverhead Books. To buy it or find a retailer near you, visit penguinrandomhouse.com.

JUNE 2018 REAL SIMPLE

133

© 2017 Tyson Foods, Inc.

FOOD ST YLING BY CHEL SE A ZIMMER; PROP ST YLING BY CL AIRE SPOLLEN

JUNE You wait all year for this: long days and warm nights when the produce is so good that all it needs is a drizzle of olive oil and a smattering of salt.

Summer’s sweet arrival means firing up the grill for smoky steak tacos (page 137), making a lemony pasta salad with tons of herbs (page 146), and choosing from our roundup of the tastiest condiments (page 144) to adorn your burgers and dogs. And to drink? Our homemade cold brew (page 142) is guaranteed to keep you perky long after the solstice sun sets.

Photograph by Greg DuPree

JUNE 2018 REAL SIMPLE

135

Easy Dinner 1

Salt-and-pepper shrimp with cucumber salad ACTIVE TIME 20 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 20 MINUTES

SERVES 4

Quick Cooking Gluten-Free 1 English cucumber, thinly sliced 2 stalks celery, thinly sliced, plus cup loosely packed celery leaves red Fresno chile, thinly sliced 2 scallions, thinly sliced 2 Tbsp. fresh lime juice (from 1 lime) 1

Tbsp. toasted sesame oil

3

tsp. kosher salt, divided cup cornstarch 2 tsp. freshly ground black pepper 6 Tbsp. canola oil, divided

1

lb. large tail-on shrimp, peeled and deveined

cucumber, celery and celery leaves, chile, scallions, lime juice, sesame oil, and 1 teaspoons salt in a large bowl. Toss and set aside.

COMBINE

cornstarch, pepper, and 2 teaspoons salt in a shallow dish.

MIX

3 tablespoons canola oil in a large skillet over high. Toss half of the shrimp in cornstarch mixture, shaking off excess. Cook, turning halfway through, until opaque, about 2 minutes; transfer to a plate.

Wipe skillet clean and repeat with remaining canola oil, shrimp, and cornstarch mixture. Season shrimp with remaining teaspoon salt and serve with cucumber salad.

HEAT

P E R S E RV I N G : 451 CALORIES, 27G FAT (2.5G SAT.), 274MG CHOL., 2G FIBER, 35G PRO., 18G CARB., 1,839MG SOD., 2G SUGAR

136 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

FOOD

Easy Dinner 2

Smoky flank steak tacos ACTIVE TIME 20 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 30 MINUTES SERVES 4

Quick Cooking Gluten-Free

1

tsp. smoked paprika tsp. ground cumin tsp. ground cinnamon tsp. cayenne

3

tsp. kosher salt, divided 1 lb. flank steak 1 Tbsp. olive oil, plus more for grill grates 1 medium red onion, sliced, root ends left intact tsp. freshly ground black pepper 2 cups cherry tomatoes, quartered cup fresh cilantro leaves and tender stems, plus more for serving 3 Tbsp. fresh lime juice (from 2 limes), plus wedges for serving 1 serrano chile, seeded and finely chopped 8 6-in. corn tortillas

paprika, cumin, cinnamon, cayenne, and 2 teaspoons salt in a small bowl.

Rub all over steak.

FOOD ST YLING BY CHEL SE A ZIMMER; PROP ST YLING BY CL AIRE SPOLLEN

MIX

HEAT a grill or grill pan over medium-high.

Lightly oil grates. Cook steak, turning occasionally, 8 to 10 minutes for mediumrare. Transfer to a cutting board; let rest for 10 minutes before slicing against the grain.

onion, oil, pepper, and teaspoon salt in a small bowl. Cook onion over high until charred, about 2 minutes per side.

TOS S

tomatoes, cilantro, lime juice, chile, and remaining 1 teaspoon salt in a bowl.

MIX

tortillas over an open flame or in a dry skillet over high until lightly charred, 10 to 15 seconds per side.

TOAST

DIVIDE steak among tortillas and top with tomato mixture, charred onion, and cilantro.

P E R S E RV I N G : 330 CALORIES, 11G FAT (3G SAT.), 69MG CHOL., 2G FIBER, 29G PRO., 29G CARB., 1,762MG SOD., 4G SUGAR

Photographs by Greg DuPree

JUNE 2018 REAL SIMPLE

137

FOOD

Easy Dinner 3

Curry tofu with fresh mango chutney ACTIVE TIME 25 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 45 MINUTES

SERVES 4

Vegetarian Gluten-Free Family Friendly 1 cup long-grain white rice 14 oz. extra-firm tofu, drained and patted dry 1 Tbsp. curry powder 2

tsp. kosher salt, divided 5 Tbsp. olive oil, divided 3 cloves garlic, finely chopped 12 oz. baby spinach tsp. freshly ground black pepper 1 mango, peeled and chopped 1 small red onion, finely chopped 3 Tbsp. chopped fresh mint

1

tsp. grated fresh ginger tsp. lime zest plus 3 Tbsp. fresh juice (from 2 limes)

COOK rice according to package directions.

tofu lengthwise and quarter on the diagonal to make 8 pieces.

HALVE

curry powder and 1 teaspoons salt in a dish. Dredge tofu in mixture, pressing to adhere.

COMBINE

HEAT 2 tablespoons oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high.

Cook tofu, turning once, until golden brown, 4 to 6 minutes. Transfer to a plate; wipe skillet clean. Add 1 tablespoon oil and garlic and cook, stirring, until fragrant, about 30 seconds.

Add a few handfuls of spinach and cook, tossing, adding more as there is room, until bright green and wilted, 2 to 3 minutes. Season with pepper and teaspoon salt.

mango, onion, mint, ginger, lime zest and juice, and remaining 2 tablespoons oil and teaspoon salt in a small bowl; toss to combine.

Serve tofu over rice with spinach and mango chutney.

COMBINE

P E R S E RV I N G : 508 CALORIES, 24G FAT (3G SAT.), 0MG CHOL., 4G FIBER, 18G PRO., 56G CARB., 1,394MG SOD., 7G SUGAR

138 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

CO OK WITH COZI Get Real Simple’s easy weeknight-dinner recipes in Cozi, a free meal-planning and organizing app from Meredith Corporation (available on iTunes and Google Play).

FOOD

PREHEAT oven to 400°F. Toss potatoes with 2 tablespoons oil, 1 teaspoon salt, and teaspoon pepper on a rimmed baking sheet.

Roast for 20 minutes.

chicken with oregano, lemon zest, 2 tablespoons oil, teaspoon pepper, and remaining 1 teaspoons salt. Remove sheet pan from oven and push potatoes to the side.

Arrange chicken on other side and return to oven. Roast until chicken is cooked through, 20 to 25 minutes.

Transfer to a cutting board; let rest for 5 minutes before slicing.

TOS S

1 lb. baby red potatoes, halved (quartered if large) 6 Tbsp. olive oil, divided

Easy Dinner 4

Sheet-pan chicken with potatoes and green beans ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 45 MINUTES SERVES 4

Gluten-Free Family Friendly

2

tsp. kosher salt, divided, plus more for cooking green beans

1

tsp. freshly ground black pepper, divided 4 6-oz. boneless, skinless chicken breasts

1

tsp. dried oregano 1 tsp. lemon zest plus 2 Tbsp. fresh juice (from 1 lemon) 8 oz. trimmed green beans or haricots verts cup pitted, chopped Castelvetrano olives 1 medium shallot, finely chopped

MEANWHILE, cook green beans in a pot of boiling salted water until bright green and crisp-tender, about 4 minutes.

MIX olives, shallot, lemon juice, and remaining 2 tablespoons oil and teaspoon pepper in a small bowl.

Spoon dressing over chicken. Serve with potatoes and green beans.

P E R S E RV I N G : 518 CALORIES, 28G FAT (4G SAT.), 124MG CHOL., 5G FIBER, 42G PRO., 26G CARB., 1,578MG SOD., 4G SUGAR

JUNE 2018 REAL SIMPLE

139

FOOD

Easy Dinner 5

Zucchini-andmozzarella frittata ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 30 MINUTES

SERVES 4

Quick Cooking Make Ahead One Pot Vegetarian Gluten-Free Family Friendly

4 Tbsp. olive oil, divided 1 large zucchini, thinly sliced 1 yellow onion, chopped 1 Tbsp. chopped fresh oregano leaves 4 cloves garlic, finely chopped 8 large eggs 1 tsp. kosher salt tsp. crushed red pepper, plus more for serving 4 oz. fresh mozzarella, cubed (about cup) Green salad, for serving PREHEAT oven to 350°F. Heat 2 tablespoons oil in a 10-inch ovenproof skillet over medium.

Add zucchini, onion, oregano, and garlic and cook, stirring often, until vegetables are slightly softened, 8 to 10 minutes.

WHISK eggs, salt, and crushed red pepper until combined. Add remaining 2 tablespoons oil to skillet, tilting to distribute. Pour egg mixture over vegetables and shake skillet to help eggs settle.

Cook over medium until edges begin to set, 2 to 3 minutes. Top with cheese.

skillet to oven and cook until top is just set, 13 to 15 minutes. Let cool slightly.

TRANSFER

GENTLY slide frittata out of skillet and season with more crushed red pepper. Serve with salad.

P E R S E RV I N G : 371 CALORIES, 30G FAT (9G SAT.), 379MG CHOL., 1G FIBER, 19G PRO., 7G CARB., 644MG SOD., 3G SUGAR

140 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

FOOD

Make It Yourself A DELICIOUS ESSENTIAL T H AT’ S B E T T E R H O M E M A D E T H A N S T O R E - B O U G H T. W E ’ L L P RO V E I T. T H I S M O N T H : COLD-BREW C O N C E N T R AT E

By Grace Elkus

ACTIVE TIME 10 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 10 HOURS, 10 MINUTES (INCLUDES STEEPING) SERVES 6

4

cups coarsely ground coffee beans (from 12 oz. whole coffee beans) 6 cups water

together ground coffee beans and water in a large bowl or lidded container. Cover and steep at room temperature for at least 10 hours and up to 1 day.

LINE a fine-mesh strainer with cheesecloth and set inside a large bowl. Pour coffee mixture through strainer, pressing with a spoon to encourage draining.

Discard coffee grounds. Store coffee concentrate in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks.

Perfect Iced Coffee (Serves 1) cup coffee concentrate 2 tsp. light agave nectar or simple syrup cup half-and-half or whole milk For creative ways to use the concentrate, go to realsimple.com/ coldbrewrecipes.

FILL a 16-ounce glass with ice.

Add concentrate, cup water, and agave nectar; stir to combine. Top with half-and-half.

Photograph by Greg DuPree

FOOD ST YLING BY CHEL SE A ZIMMER; PROP ST YLING BY CL AIRE SPOLLEN

STIR

FOOD

R o a d Te s t

Condiments O U R T E A M TA ST E D M O R E T H A N 70 BEST RELISH Woodstock Organic Jalapeño Relish This cucumber-free jalapeño relish has a hint of sweetness and a big kick. It licked the competition (most of which were full of dyes and high-fructose corn syrup).

TO BUY: $7 for 16 oz.; at grocery stores.

VA R I E T I E S O F S AU C E S , S P R E A D S , A N D R E L I S H E S T O S E E W H AT S Q U E E Z E D OUT THE COMPETITION.

By Ananda Eidelstein

B E S T B B Q S AU C E 365 Everyday Value Organic Texas True Barbecue Sauce The right balance of sweetness, tang, and smoke makes this pick as good on ribs as it is on grilled salmon.

TO BUY: $4 for 17.5 oz.; at Whole Foods.

realsimple ROAD TE ST

BEST SPICY B RO W N M U S TA R D Gulden’s Spicy Brown Mustard Zingy and bold, with just enough structure from ground-up mustard seeds, this classic is exactly what we want on hot dogs and sausages.

TO BUY: $1.50 for 12 oz.; at grocery stores.

B E S T H O T S AU C E Crystal Hot Sauce Made with only three ingredients, this bright allpurpose sauce is bursting with complex flavor from aged cayenne peppers. Keep the pretty bottle on the table for a dash of heat whenever you want it.

TO BUY: $2 for 12 oz.; at grocery stores.

144 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

BEST KETCHUP Sir Kensington’s Classic Ketchup The first ingredient in this premium ketchup is whole tomatoes, not tomato concentrate. We were not only surprised but converted.

TO BUY: $5 for 20 oz.; at grocery stores.

P h o t o g r a p h b y M a n f r e d Ko h

P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

B E S T M AYO Heinz Real Mayonnaise Even the mayo haters loved this super-creamy spread.

Never clumpy or oily, it gets bonus points for using 100 percent cage-free eggs.

TO BUY: $4 for 30 oz.; at grocery stores.

WH O WOR E I T B E ST ?

TORT E L LI N I

ZLWK SHVWR

R AV I O L I

ZLWK SHVWR

F R E S H I S A LWAYS I N S T Y L E Buitoni freshly made pasta and sauce available in your grocer’s refrigerated aisle.

BUITONI.COM

FOOD

Big Batch

Lemony cucumber-and-herb pasta salad ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 25 MINUTES

SERVES 12

1 lb. short pasta 1 tsp. kosher salt, plus more for cooking pasta 6 Tbsp. olive oil, divided, plus more for serving 2 Tbsp. whole-grain mustard 1 Tbsp. lemon zest plus 6 Tbsp. fresh juice (from 2 lemons), plus 1 lemon half for serving 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped or grated tsp. black pepper tsp. crushed red pepper 1 lb. Persian cucumbers, sliced 8 oz. feta cheese, crumbled 1 cup packed fresh cilantro leaves and tender stems cup packed fresh mint leaves, torn if large

FOOD ST YLING BY CHEL SE A ZIMMER; PROP ST YLING BY CL AIRE SPOLLEN

COOK pasta in a large pot of boiling salted water according to package directions for al dente. Drain and spread on a rimmed baking sheet. Toss with 2 tablespoons oil and set aside.

mustard, lemon zest and juice, garlic, salt, black pepper, and crushed red pepper in a large bowl. Whisk in remaining 4 tablespoons oil. Add cucumbers and feta and toss to coat.

WHISK

pasta to cucumber mixture and toss to combine. Pasta salad can be made up to this point up to 2 days in advance.

Just before serving, add cilantro and mint, drizzle with oil, and squeeze lemon half over top; toss and serve.

ADD

P E R S E RV I N G : 262 CALORIES, 11G FAT (3.9G SAT.), 17MG CHOL., 0.4G FIBER, 8G PRO., 31G CARB., 397MG SOD., 3G SUGAR

146 REAL SIMPLE JUNE 2018

Recipe by Ananda Eidelstein Photograph by Greg DuPree

by invitation :: tipsntrends, inc :: 323-525-1700

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