RS - November 2017

LIFE MADE EASIER

THE #1 WAY TO SAVE MORE MONEY

Make It Meaningful 24 IDEAS TO GET ORGANIZED & ENJOY THE HOLIDAY Fast and Delicious Thanksgiving Sides Create a More Inviting Home Who Wants Pie? Our Best Tips Ever

NOVEMBER 2017

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Thoughts

“Character— the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life —is the source from which self-respect springs.”

2 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

STO C K SY

— J OA N D I D I O N , S l o u c h i n g Tow a rd s B e t h l e h e m

Photograph by Goldmund Lukic

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Y H U S BA N D A N D I didn’t plan on living 1,120 miles from my parents in Iowa and 1,540 from his in Texas.

But we ended up in New York, a pricey plane ride or an overnight drive away from our favorite Thanksgiving company. So one year we didn’t go. I balked at the airline prices; my husband couldn’t get enough time off work to do the drive. And we had a baby.

Which is so much fun…unless you’re traveling.

We felt almost like criminals, slipping into a well-appointed table at a restaurant a block from our home. A restaurant Thanksgiving? It seemed like blasphemy. I missed my mom’s pecan pie and the way my father-in-law carves a turkey with flourish and cheer. Yet this was a different type of holiday. Because we weren’t worried about gravy consistency or tiptoeing through minefields of political differences, we spent more time talking about what we were thankful for and our hopes for the coming year. And after the meal, we had the luxury of no cleanup.

So we broke tradition. Or maybe we just expanded our tradition. As far as our daughter knew that year, Thanksgiving was simply saying grace; saying what you’re thankful for; eating lots of food; double-checking the Cowboys’

M

4 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

kickoff time. I’ll state the obvious: The important thing is to enjoy yourself. That idea was our North Star as we put together Real Simple’s guide to navigating the holidays, “When Your Family Is Far Away” (page 75).

No matter where I am for Thanksgiving, I love making pumpkin pies with (admittedly not-soperfect) crimped crusts and big dollops of heavy cream beaten with powdered sugar. Our food director, Dawn Perry, made sure our 12-page guide to pie, “Easy As...” (page 118), included plenty of tips for baking your own or just gussying up delicious store-bought pies, while senior editor Elizabeth Sile coaxed authors to share their favorite memories and recipes. Because TFW pie comes out of the oven? It’s the best.

Follow me on Twitter @lyazel and Instagram @leslieyazel

F E E L- G O O D D I S C OV E RY Here in the office, we were talking a lot about our favorite scents while pulling together our fragrance story on page 144.

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It smells like fresh, white flowers (lily of the valley, tuberose, jasmine, gardenia), and a full 100 percent of net profits go directly to depression research through the Hope for Depression Research Foundation. A chance to smell good, feel good, and do good.

Photograph by Rob Howard

F A S H I O N S T Y L I N G B Y A LY S S A D I N E E N ; H A I R B Y M AT T H E W M O N Z O N F O R J E D R O O T ; M A K E U P B Y K AT I E J A N E H U G H E S

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Contents

O N C O V E R : W I L L I A M S - S O N O M A E C L E C T I Q U E D I N N E R A N D S A L A D P L AT E ; W I L L I A M S - S O N O M A V I N TA G E R O M A F L AT WA R E ; C B 2 F L O R A N A P K I N ; H & M H O M E S T O N E WA R E P I T C H E R

November 2017

O N T H E C OV E R

Make it meaningful: 24 ideas to get organized and enjoy the holiday 13, 130 The #1 way to save more money Fast and delicious Thanksgiving sides Create a more inviting home

95 168 51

130

Who wants pie? Our best tips ever 118

Everybody to the table

138

118

14 4

A school goes back to nature

Perfectly imperfect pies

Make your fragrance last

Cover Photograph by Johnny Miller

Prop St yling by Glen Proebstel

NOVEMBER 2017 REAL SIMPLE

7

Contents

57

95

164

Snuggly weekend styles

Watch your savings grow

Outside-the-box cornbread

Thoughts

2

Editor’s Note

4 10

Real Simple 24 /7 Your Words

13

The Short List

20

what we love Seven things to do, see, and enjoy this month 23 Pretty Smart Beauty buys to save your sanity 26 The Staple Raisins

30

Little Helpers Clever items that make every day better 32 New Uses for…

Coconut oil

34

the realist No-Fail Thanksgiving Toasts 37

Things Cooks Know Turkey tips 38 Now What?!?

Solutions for life’s mini disasters 40 Road Test Lip color

42

Pretty Practical Halo eyes

44

Best in Show Which species and breeds win our pet superlative awards? 47 Give Your Front Door a Face-Lift Pinpoint your style, then choose the best paint and accessories 51 The Cozy Edit Nine comfy wardrobe pieces and how to mix and match them 57 Trend to Try Leopard print

68

relating 5 Ways to Actually Enjoy Your High School Reunion

71

When Your Family Is Far Away A survival manual to holiday travel

75

Modern Manners Catherine Newman offers advice

82

Farm School The surprising way a Texas college staved off financial collapse 138

11 Little Ways to Know If You’re Fit Forget the number on the scale. These tests really show you’re in good shape 109

The Scent of Your Dreams Need a break? These fragrances transport you far, far away 144

Ahhh

Good Read Janet Fitch on the lessons of her mother’s dementia 87

balance Your Guide to Investing, from $5 to $50,000

Making It Work The products and routines that keep you on your game 104

95

Be the Boss of Your Year-End Review Asking for a raise, handling poor feedback, and more 100

117

features Easy as…

Everything you need to become a better pie baker, including our favorite recipes 118 Design Around Your Dishes Four pros pulled together wildly different holiday tables 130

food 5 Easy Dinners

155

Make It Yourself Cornbread mix

164

Road Test Thanksgiving shortcuts

168

Big Batch Potato tot breakfast casserole 170

The Struggle Is Real

172

Rituals

178

REAL SIMPLE® (ISSN 1528-1701) IS PUBLISHED MONTHLY BY TIME INC. PRINCIPAL OFFICE: 225 LIBERTY STREET, NEW YORK, NY 10281. PERIODICALS POSTAGE PAID AT NEW YORK, NY, AND ADDITIONAL MAILING OFFICES. POSTMASTER: SEND ALL UAA TO CFS (SEE DMM 507.1.5.2); NON-POSTAL AND MILITARY FACILITIES: SEND ADDRESS CORRECTIONS TO REAL SIMPLE MAGAZINE, P.O. BOX 62120, TAMPA, FL 33662-2120. CANADA POST PUBLICATIONS MAIL AGREEMENT NO. 40110178. RETURN UNDELIVERABLE CANADA ADDRESSES TO: POSTAL STN. A, P.O. BOX 4015, TORONTO, ON M5W 2T2. GST#888381621RT0001. SUBSCRIBERS: IF THE POSTAL SERVICE ALERTS US THAT YOUR MAGAZINE IS UNDELIVERABLE, WE HAVE NO FURTHER OBLIGATION UNLESS WE RECEIVE A CORRECTED ADDRESS WITHIN TWO YEARS. U.S. SUBSCRIPTIONS: $28.95 FOR ONE YEAR. YOUR BANK MAY PROVIDE UPDATES TO THE CARD INFORMATION WE HAVE ON FILE. YOU MAY OPT OUT OF THIS SERVICE AT ANY TIME. MAILING LIST: WE MAKE A PORTION OF OUR MAILING LIST AVAILABLE TO REPUTABLE FIRMS. CUSTOMER SERVICE AND SUBSCRIPTIONS: FOR 24/7 SERVICE, PLEASE USE OUR WEBSITE, REALSIMPLE.COM/CUSTOMERSERVICE. YOU CAN ALSO CALL 1-800-881-1172 OR WRITE TO REAL SIMPLE AT P.O. BOX 62120, TAMPA, FL 33662-2120. © 2017 TIME INC. FOR INTERNATIONAL LICENSING AND SYNDICATION REQUESTS, PLEASE VISIT HTTP://WWW.TIMEINC.COM/SYNDICATION OR CALL 1-212-522-5868. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. REPRODUCTION IN WHOLE OR IN PART WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION IS PROHIBITED. REAL SIMPLE® IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK OF TIME INC. VOLUME 18, ISSUE 11. PRINTED IN THE U.S.A.

8 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

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MEET

S A R A H YA N G L I F E ST Y L E E D I TO R AT REALSIMPLE.COM

Thanksgiving tradition: A few days before, my friends and I celebrate what we call Sidesgiving, a meal with just the sides.

Go-to hostess gift: Wine if I’m in a rush.

If I have more time, a potted succulent or flowers in a bud vase.

Visit realsimple.com/ kidscrafts for how-tos.

The coziest thing in my apartment: It’s all about texture.

I have a chunky knit blanket from Etsy that is perfect for napping or watching Netflix. @SARAHAYANG ON INSTAGRAM

# Crowd-pleasing cocktail Don’t forget about the refreshments. Serve up this pear and rosemary sangria.

Check out the recipe at realsimple.com/sangria.

Pumpkin bread, with a twist

# R S H O L I D AY Whether you’re a seasoned cook or a first-time host, we’re here to answer your Turkey Day questions. We’re sharing our best tips and tricks on Facebook and Instagram. Tag your photos to get featured. Follow the hashtag for more.

PINTEREST @REALSIMPLE

TWITTER @REALSIMPLE

S N A P C H AT @REALSIMPLEMAG

Who doesn’t love freshly baked bread? This five-step recipe takes no time at all.

Watch the video at realsimple.com/pumpkinbread.

10 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

FAC E B O O K @REALSIMPLE

I N S TA G R A M @ R E A L _S I M P L E

C L O C K W I S E F R O M T O P L E F T : C O U R T E S Y O F S A R A H YA N G ; P H O T O G R A P H B Y G R E G D U P R E E , F O O D S T Y L I N G B Y K A R E N R A N K I N , P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y M I S S I E C R AW F O R D ; P H O T O G R A P H B Y E M I LY K I N N I , C R A F T D E V E L O P E D B Y M O R G A N L E V I N E ; C O U R T E S Y O F R E A L S I M P L E . C O M

K I D - F R I E N D LY D I Y S

Get the kids involved in Thanksgiving prep with some easy table-decoration crafts. It will keep them busy, and they can help set up when everything is done.

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Yo u r W o r d s

What’s your shopping tactic to get organized for the holidays?

Make it a date night!

My husband and I get a sitter and head to the local mall. We have a nice dinner and then knock out shopping for our friends and family.

C AT H E R I N E O K E R B E RG, S A N D I EG O

My family gets four gifts each: something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read. @CATHERINELICHT1

I purchase fun Advent calendars right after Christmas for all my friends’ children.

They are always so inexpensive that it’s easy enough to buy for multiple kids.

D ONNA STILES ENO S, ED GARTOWN, MAS SACHUSE T TS

#WOMENIRL

“ M Y FAVO R I T E T H A N K S G I V I N G P H OTO, W H I C H I H E A RT F ELT LY EN T I T L ED ‘ SU C K I T, R O C K W EL L . ’ ” @ H A L L REN 1

A 24-hour blitz!

Send my husband and kids out of town for the weekend, shop until I drop, and then open a bottle of bubbly. @SAGENST YLE

We are buying experiences, not material things. Gift cards for activities, tickets to various events, day trip kits with an itinerary, plus gift cards to fund the adventure.

TAMMY LYNNE ROWE-WALL ACE, BANGOR, MAINE

My favorite holiday shopping tactic is being a good listener all year long to my family and friends. I have picked up on gift ideas people don’t want to splurge on themselves, and I jot them down in my phone.

My daughter and I go berry picking in the summer and then make jam. Paired with a local wine, it makes the perfect gift for just about everyone on my list!

KRISTIN WELCH, EUGENE, OREGON

I keep a bag in my closet for each family member.

I fill it with stocking stuffers starting in October, which helps me avoid the panic of filling all of them right before Christmas.

SUSAN CARLINI, MEDFORD, OREGON

Ask relatives to buy and wrap gifts for loved ones to save on shipping.

Offer to do the same for them. @MOMWHISPERER

TRACY KELLUM, MACED ONIA , OHIO

I write my Christmas list on the outside of an envelope, and I store the receipts inside.

This keeps all my gift-giving information in one place.

H E I D I B U SS E , B LO O M I N G TO N , M I N N E S OTA

NOVEMBER 2017 REAL SIMPLE

13

Yo u r W o r d s

What’s your shopping tactic to get organized for the holidays?

Amazon wish lists save the holiday for us. We live in the middle of nowhere, far from family.

So we shop wish lists, have gifts shipped to family, and do our wrapping once we arrive.

AMANDA ZAMBRANO, HOUGHTON, NE W YORK

I keep a secret Pinterest board all year where I can easily save gift ideas. This year my wife and I are trying to get all the making, ordering, and wrapping done as early as we can, because I’m pregnant with our first baby and due on Thanksgiving!

HANNAH CL AY WAREHAM, NORTHAMPTON, MAS SACHUSE T TS

Throughout the year, I collect loose change in a glass jar. After Thanksgiving, I put it in a bag and keep it in my car so I have plenty to put in the Salvation Army buckets when I’m shopping.

PATRICIA A .

COPP OL A-MANGOLD, BALTIMORE

We started a tradition in which the challenge is to outlaugh one another by giving the weirdest, yet personally appropriate, presents. Way more fun than spending a million bucks!

GILLIAN TOWERS, PIPE CREEK , TE XAS

Dinner Made Simple 35 Everyday Ingredients, 350 Easy Recipes by the Editors of

The women who shared the photos in this column will receive our book Dinner Made Simple.

Tag Instagram posts with #WOMENIRL to be considered for future columns.

14 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

I travel a lot and pick up small gifts.

I love going to foreign grocery stores and buying snacks and teas that my family would enjoy trying.

ABBY L AUREN, NE W ORLE ANS

I check my credit card rewards to see what I could get with points online. @JAMINCHANSMOM

Rather than getting lost in holiday gift giving, I buy my eight granddaughters any pair of shoes they want twice a year.

I enjoy spending time with each of them and watching their tastes change.

ANITA MAS SEY, SILVERTON, OREGON

We only shop for the kids under 10.

Those over 10 (until they graduate from high school) get cash. We stopped doing adult gifts a while ago—everyone has too much stuff!

#WOMENIRL

“ H O M EM A D E C R A N B ER RY R EL I S H I N T H E WO R K S ! ” @ S N A P _ H A P PY 1 3

NEXT QUESTION...

JENNY PE TERSON, SOUTH BEND, INDIANA

What’s your favorite memory with your significant other?

I buy discounted bath sets right after the holidays and split them up to make small gifts for teachers for the next holiday season.

Send an email to yourwords@ realsimple.com and let us know your answer to this question.

Your response could appear on these pages.

LIZ L ANFE AR, SAVANNAH, GEORGIA

We set our annual budget on New Year’s Day, then divide by 12.

This gives us a monthly gift allowance to spend throughout the year.

HE ATHER KESTIAN, FISHERS, INDIANA

My mother taught me to go holiday shopping while Monday night football was on.

She was right: The stores are relatively empty!

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The Short List F I V E B O O K S T H AT W O N ’ T D I S A P P O I N T

By Nora Horvath

Parisian escapism We may dream of a romantic life on Rue Cler, but becoming a local isn’t all baguettes and berets. In L’Appart, American expat and chef David Lebovitz hilariously recounts the ups and downs of buying an apartment in the City of Light. Readers will relate to Lebovitz’s exploits, from Ikea fails to bureaucratic foibles.

Scientific exploration Family history In It’s All Relative, self-described “human guinea pig” A.J. Jacobs explores how we’re all genetically related.

Prompted by an email from a stranger (the spouse of an eighth cousin), Jacobs spends three years connecting with people on seven continents to meet his very extended clan. This fascinating and witty look at genealogy might change how you think about family.

Ocean scientist Juli Berwald is listless and landlocked in Texas when a jellyfish encounter calls her back to the sea. Berwald finds renewed purpose investigating this enigmatic, beautiful, and misunderstood species. Spineless explores not only jellies’ suffering ecosystem and our responsibility to the planet but also how Berwald strengthened her own backbone.

Magical debut Weylyn Grey is enchanting. A kind and quirky boy who was raised by wolves, Weylyn can influence the weather. In Beasts of Extraordinary Circumstance, Ruth Emmie Lang follows his life through the people he meets, including foster families and teachers. Each bittersweet story shows our capacity to accept people who are different.

Great for book club In Louise Erdrich’s Future Home of the Living God, Cedar Hawk Songmaker is pregnant at a time when a reverse evolution—in which once-extinct species suddenly reappear—is tearing society apart. She must flee a statesanctioned birthing center to protect her child. It’s a dazzling work of dystopian fiction à la The Handmaid’s Tale.

P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y K ATJ A G R E E F F

For more book recommendations, visit realsimple.com/books.

20 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

Photograph by Alice Gao

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E V E RY T H I N G O U R E D I T O R S A R E B U Z Z I N G A B O U T T H I S M O N T H

1 Make space Calphalon’s stackable cookware line will have you wondering what to do with your new cabinet space. The 10-piece set includes two fry pans, two saucepans, one sauté pan, a stockpot, and four lids (not all pictured). They’re oven-safe and store in any order.

TO BUY: Premier Space Saving Cookware 10-piece set, $450; calphalon.com.

Photograph by Alice Gao

NOVEMBER 2017 REAL SIMPLE

23

W H AT W E LO V E

more

2

to love

Be thoughtful World Vision is bringing its holiday catalog to life in New York City’s Bryant Park on Giving Tuesday (November 28). The pop-up gift shop will allow you to pay for farm animals, water, and relief kits for families in need around the world. If you can’t make it to the November 27–29 event in person, visit worldvision.org to find out how you can participate remotely.

4 Wonder, the movie adaptation of R.J. Palacio’s critically acclaimed YA novel, starring Julia Roberts and Jacob Tremblay, offers a poignant look at 10year-old Auggie Pullman’s struggle to gain acceptance despite his facial differences. Coming to the big screen November 17.

3 Think ahead These sweet French-style pots de crème (in flavors like dark chocolate, salted caramel, and lemon curd) make an easy no-cook dessert in a busy month.

Or send them home with guests as a portable treat they can enjoy later. You can reuse the jars to make your own to-go desserts.

TO BUY: From $3.50; petitpot.com.

5 Give back in style

Olivela sells luxury items to support children’s charities. In November, up to 40 percent of the proceeds from products like the Marc Jacobs bag ($295), Tod’s shoes ($495), and Edie Parker iPhone case ($50) shown above will benefit the Malala Fund, which focuses on ensuring girls’ rights to an education.

7 Feel aglow

6

Look back Create a personalized photo book with a Kate Spade–designed cover as a thank-you for your holiday hostess or “just because” for your BFF. Best for six- or eight-inch square photos, though other sizes can be cropped to fit.

TO BUY: From $15; chatbooks.com.

24 RE AL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

One of the best public light displays in the country, the Festival of Lights in Riverside, California, celebrates its 25th anniversary this holiday season. See the spectacle for yourself or follow along online using #RiversideFOL from November 24 to January 6.

P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y K ATJ A G R E E F F ; P R O D U C T I M A G E S C O U R T E S Y O F M A N U F A C T U R E R S ; P H O T O B O O K S C O U R T E S Y O F C H AT B O O K S ; F I L M P H OTO G R A P H C O U RT E SY O F DA L E R O B I N E T T E

Get inspired

W H AT W E LO V E

HARPER + ARI CO CONUT AND PEACH S U GA R C U B E S

P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y K ATJ A G R E E F F

If you avoid using body scrub because dipping your fingers into a greasy tub sounds less than pampering, give these single-use cubes a go.

Simply massage onto wet skin in the shower to exfoliate all over.

TO BUY: $22 each; harperari.com.

Pretty Smart S I N G L E - D O S E B O DY S C RU B A N D S E V E N OT H E R B E AU T Y B U Y S T O S AV E YO U R S A N I T Y

By Heather Muir Maffei

26 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

Photograph by Alice Gao

W H AT W E LO V E

If you use aluminum-free deodorant, you may want to reapply it during the day.

This (nonaerosol) spray makes that easy. Rose and ylang-ylang essential oils hide any stink.

TO BUY: $14; weleda.com.

IT COSMETICS

BY E BY E B R E A KO U T

Upgrade your white wear-to-bed zit cream with this drying lotion–concealer hybrid. Full-coverage pigments hide your honker while tea tree, sulfur, and clay help heal it stat.

TO BUY: $28; itcosmetics.com.

S T E L L A R S TA R D U S T LIP POWDER PA L E T T E I N 02

These powders look like eye shadow, but they’re for your lips! Worn alone or mixed, the lightweight,, metallic pigments feel velvety and won’t transfer—whoop.

TO BUY: $28; sephora.com.

BENEFIT F O O L P RO O F B RO W P O W D E R

In three shades, this powder adheres to skin and hair for 12 hours. Flick the lighter color onto the front of brows and the darker one onto ends for full (not fake) arches.

TO BUY: $24; benefit cosmetics.com.

28 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

BIOL AGE H Y D R A S O U RC E AQ UA - G E L CONDITIONER

For all the fine-haired ladies: Conditioner is no longer your frenemy. This watergel formula nourishes your scalp without leaving strands as flat as a pancake.

TO BUY: $18; matrix.com.

U R B A N D E C AY T RO U B L E M A K E R MASCAR A

True volumizing mascaras tend to be messy. With this wand, you get big, fanned-out lashes without any spidery clumps or the need to apply a dozen coats.

TO BUY: $24; ulta.com.

M A RY K AY TIMEWISE V I TA M I N C A C T I VAT I N G S Q UA R E S

Put the s square in your palm m, add water to dissolv solve it, and then hen mix in your serum ffor a potent brownspot treatment.

TO BUY: $24; marykay.com.

S M E A R S , F R O M TO P : G R EG M A R I N O , B R I A N H E N N ( 2 ) ; P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

W E L E DA W I L D RO S E D E O D O R A N T

W H AT W E LO V E

Quick Ideas

The Staple They’re pretty darn tasty atop celery with peanut butter. But raisins are good for more than after-school snacks. Use them to jazz up a walnut cream cheese spread or add a touch of sweetness to homemade jam. Or try them chopped in a savory relish, where they marry nicely with salty green olives. Golden raisins can be used interchangeably with the regular type— they’re dried from the same vine-grown grapes but simply processed differently to preserve their color. To keep raisins fresh and chewy, reseal the package tightly. To plump up older raisins, soak in warm water, vinegar, or booze to rehydrate.

1 CINNAMON-R AISIN SCHMEAR

Beat 8 oz. softened cream cheese, 3 Tbsp. light brown sugar, and tsp. cinnamon with an electric mixer on high until fluffy. Stir in cup each raisins and chopped toasted walnuts. Serve on toasted bagels.

2 PORK WITH GOLDEN R AISIN RELISH

Brown 1 pork tenderloin in a large skillet. Transfer to a 450°F oven; roast until just cooked through. Melt cup unsalted butter in cup each skillet. Add golden raisins, chopped green olives, and parsley, 1 tsp. sherry tsp. sugar, vinegar, and tsp. salt. Serve over sliced pork.

Bring 2 cups raisins, 1 cups brandy, cup sugar, tsp. kosher tsp. black salt, and pepper to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer 40 minutes; stir in 1 tsp. sherry vinegar. Pulse in a food processor until smooth. Let cool.

Spread 2 tsp. raisin mixture on each of 16 canned crescent rolls. Bake, seam side down, at 350°F until golden, 12 to 14 minutes.

By Grace Elkus Recipes by Paige Grandjean

30 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

Photograph by Corey Olsen

PROP ST YLING BY CHLOE DALEY

3 R A I S I N JA M RU G E L A C H

Load what you want, how you want.

The quietest dishwasher brand* in the U.S. now features the MyWay™ rack, offering the industry’s largest 3rd rack loading capacity.**

Based on an average of sound ratings of 24” Full Size Stainless Steel Tub dishwashers contained in major brands websites. Major brands defind as TraQline Top 5 Market Share December 2016.

Vs. major brands with 3rd rack. Major brands defined as TraQline Top 5 Market Share March 2017.

W H AT W E LO V E

L I G H T- U P L E A S H

On your evening walk, walk be easily seen by motorists up to a quarter mile away with this five-foot-long, water-resistant lead. It illuminates end to end with bright LEDs and has steady and blinking modes.

TO BUY: Nitey Leash, $25; niteyleash.com.

3-IN-1 P ONCHO

Ultrac cozy but not bu ulky, this his nylon outer layer er is waterproof and d ma achine washable.

Lay ay it i out as a blanket, pack it into the front pa pouch and use as a pillow, or wear over clothes on cool days.

Comes in two sizes.

T O BUY: Puffy Poncho, $159; rumpl.com.

SPONGE SUBSCRIPTION

The design on this odor-resistant, antimicrobial sponge fades with h use, over roughly two weeks eks, as a gentle reminder to toss ss and a replace..

Choose between en once-a-month and every-o ry-other-month delivery.

TO BUY: BUY Skura Style sponges, $12 for 4; skurastyle.com.

Little Helpers S I X S M A RT P RO D U C T S TO M A K E YO U R L I F E E A S I E R

By Brandi Broxson

V E R S AT I L E S P O O N

S T I C K A B L E I C E PA C K

A definite upgrade from frozen peas, this nearly three-inch-wide cold pack is reusable and has a self-sticking backing to cover aches and conform to curves.

TO BUY: Paincakes, $13 each; pain-cakes.com.

32 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

An electric cal arc is produced att the end of this buta ane-free wonder to light your favorite candle up to 300 times.

Recharge it with the include ed USB cable, as you would ld a smartphone.

TO BUY: Single Arc Candle Lighter, $30; theusblighter company.com.

P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S

FL AMELESS LIGHTER

Perfect for soup: Twist the handle to transform this cooking spoon into a serving ladle. Its silicone edge easily scrapes cooked bits off a pot’s bottom.

TO BUY: Spadle, $20; dreamfarm.com.

W H AT W E LO V E

N ew Us e s fo r. . .

Coconut Oil S O T H E R EC I P E C A L L E D FO R A TA B L E S P O O N A N D YO U B O U G H T A T U B ?

P U T T H I S T RO P I C A L FAT T O W O R K O N T H E S E H O U S E H O L D F I X E S .

C U T T I N G B OA R D MOISTURIZER To maintain a wooden board, apply coconut oil front and back with a cloth and let sit overnight to dry.

34 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

S T I C K E R R E M OV E R

G U M , B EG O N E

Peel off as much of the label as possible. Then apply a paste of one tablespoon coconut oil and one tablespoon baking soda. Leave for 20 minutes; wipe with a cloth.

Section off affected hair and apply enough coconut oil to completely cover gum. Wait 10 minutes and the gum will come right out. Shampoo as usual.

(This works on tangles, too.)

Photograph by Corey Olsen

P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y C H L O E D A L E Y ; I L L U S T R AT I O N S B Y A N N E - L I K A R L S S O N

By Brandi Broxson

Introducing the New King of the Concrete Jungle. The all-new Tiguan.

Here we see the all-new Volkswagen Tiguan in its natural habitat. The completely redesigned exterior, bold lines, and aggressive stance are a double take waiting to happen. Inside, the Tiguan is a different kind of majestic. With available premium leather seating surfaces and Volkswagen Digital Cockpit that makes navigating so instinctive, you can get lost without ever getting lost. And available 4MOTION® all-wheel drive means you can conquer almost any road, concrete or otherwise.

Dramatization. Do not attempt. Always wear proper seat restraints in a moving safari vehicle. Optional accessories shown. Always ensure that your vehicle is equipped with appropriate tires and equipment and always adjust your speed and driving style to the road, terrain, traffic, and weather conditions. See Owner’s Manual for further details and important limitations. *MY2018 Tiguan 6 years/72,000 miles (whichever occurs first) New Vehicle Limited Warranty. Based on manufacturers’ published data on transferable Bumper-to-bumper/Basic warranty only. Not based on other separate warranties. See owner’s literature or dealer for warranty limitations. ©2017 Volkswagen of America, Inc.

©2017 Pepperidge Farm, Incorporated.

$ 1(: &22.,( 675$,*+7 )520

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A R T + C O M M E R C E . S P E C I A L T H A N K S T O PA U L D I C K S O N , A U T H O R O F T O A S T S ; M A R G A R E T PA G E O F T O A S T M A S T E R S I N T E R N AT I O N A L ; A N D M O N I Q U E L E V E S Q U E - P H A R O A H O F T O A S T M A S T E R S I N T E R N AT I O N A L

U N C O M M O N S O L U T I O N S T O E V E RY D AY P R O B L E M S

N O -FA I L TH A NKS G IV IN G TOA ST S For the formal dinner “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words but to live by them.”

—J OHN F. KENNEDY

For Friendsgiving “However rare true love may be, true friendship is still rarer.”

—F R A N ÇO I S V I, D U C D E L A RO C H E FO U C AU L D

For the sentimental family “Having somewhere to go is home. Having someone to love is family. Having both is a blessing.” —U N K N OW N

Photograph by Stephen Lewis

For 11 expert tips on expressing gratitude, go to realsimple.com/grateful.

NOVEMBER 2017 REAL SIMPLE

37

THE REALIST

Things Cooks Know ST R AT E G I E S, T E C H N I Q U E S, A N D T I P S A B O U T T U R K E Y — F RO M T H E R E A L S I M P L E T E ST K I TC H E N TO YO U R S

By Ananda Eidelstein

Carve It Like a Pro Because the backbone is already removed, slicing up a spatchcocked bird is easier than carving a whole one.

Easiest Dry-Brine Rub A dry brine delivers crispy, flavorful skin and tender meat without the mess of a bucketful of wet brine. Follow this formula for epic results.

For every 5 pounds of turkey, you’ll need: 1 Tbsp. kosher salt

1 TO CARVE, start by separating the wings and legs with a sharp knife.

Separate thighs and drumsticks by cutting through the joint.

tsp. chopped herbs, such as rosemary or thyme 1 tsp. black pepper tsp. baking soda

Two days before the big day, mix ingredients in a bowl and rub all over turkey, getting into every nook and cranny.

Place on a rimmed baking sheet and cover with plastic wrap. Refrigerate, flipping over after a day. Let sit at room temperature for 1 hour before cooking. Pat dry with paper towels (no need to rinse) before roasting for maximum crispness.

For menu ideas, prepahead tips, and more, visit realsimple.com/thxhq.

38 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

2 SLICE along each side of the breastbone to remove the breasts.

The Fastest Turkey Ever Spatchcock your bird for the speediest turkey yet. Not only is this method a time-saver, but it also results in crispier skin and, because of the fast cooking time, juicier meat. Place the turkey breast side down, with the tail end facing you. Using kitchen shears, cut along both sides of the backbone to remove (save it and any giblets for stock).

Open the turkey like a book and flip, breast side up. Press down with your palms to crack through the breastbone and flatten. Transfer bird to a rimmed baking sheet, pat dry, and tuck wings under to prevent burning. Rub skin with olive oil and season with pepper. Roast at 450°F until an instant-read thermometer inserted in the thickest part of the thigh reaches 165°F, 65 to 80 minutes. Then enjoy all that extra time.

3 CUT dark meat from the bone and slice breasts across the grain. Dig in!

I l l u s t r a t i o n s b y A n n e - L i Ka r l s s o n

M A R C U S N I L S S O N / G A L L E RY STO C K

1

Please enjoy our wines responsibly. © 2017 Meiomi Wines, Acampo, CA

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THE REALIST

Now What?!?

S M A RT F I X E S FO R L I F E’S L I T T L E D I S A ST E R S

By Blake B akkila

I can’t fall asleep and have to be up for an early flight.

R.P., VIA EMAIL THE FIX: First, try cooling down your bedroom, says Rohit Budhiraja, MD, medical director of the Sleep Clinic in the Division of Sleep and Circadian Disorders at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston.

“A cooler sleeping environment helps reduce body temperature and can make it easier to fall and stay asleep,” he explains. Paradoxically, putting on warm socks may also help— it can induce blood vessel dilation, which helps regulate core body temperature, says Budhiraja. Then try the 4-6-7 deep-breathing method, says clinical psychologist Michael Breus, PhD, author of The Sleep Doctor’s Diet Plan. Breathe in for a count of four seconds, hold for six seconds, and breathe out for seven seconds. Repeat until you fall asleep.

“This works better than counting sheep because the breathing exercise helps lower the heart rate below 60, the magic number for rest,” he says.

40 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

There’s a slime stain on our couch.

M.M., VIA EMAIL

K .G., VIA EMAIL

THE FIX: Use a credit card to scrape off any residue, says Becky Rapinchuk, creator of cleanmama.net and author of Simply Clean.

Then let it dry and peel off any remnants.

Homemade slime commonly contains glue and food coloring, which can stain, so mix a mild laundry detergent with warm water and apply the solution using a white cloth. Scrub with a soft toothbrush to get the residue up and out. To remove any remaining oil, sprinkle the area with baking soda and let dry. Vacuum to finish.

Lay the book flat and carefully tuck in unprinted paper towels about every 16 pages to absorb moisture, says Mary Patrick Bogan, director of book conservation at the Northeast Document Conservation Center in Andover, Massachusetts. Then place it under something that will create gentle pressure, like a glass baking dish filled with soup cans. Change out the paper towels every hour or so (you may have to do this several times, says Bogan).

When the book is nearly dry to the touch, stand it upright and open the pages slightly to let air circulate.

If the book is an antique or especially valuable, find a professional conservator at conservation-us.org.

Have a crisis that needs solving?

Email your problem to askrealsimple@ realsimple.com.

My book got wet!

THE FIX:

Photograph by Melanie Acevedo

THE REALIST

R o a d Te s t

Lips WE’RE ALL PUCKERED OUT FROM SWIPING ON 100-PLUS FORMUL A S. FROM A NO-G O OP GLOSS TO A C O M F Y M AT T E , T H E S E I M P R E S S E D U S T H E M O S T.

By Lisa D eSantis

realsimple ROAD TE ST

B E S T G LO S S

Glossier Lip Gloss No gluey feeling. No shimmer. This cushiony, crystal-clear gloss simply gives you a moisturizing, high-shine finish that h lasts sts through t lunch.

TO BUY: Y: $14; $1 glossier.com.

B E S T S TA I N

Sassy Lips Make the Moment Each tube contains E a real flower! And the jelly tint has a coloradjusting formula that looks different on everyone.

TO BUY: $25; sassylips.us.

B E S T M E TA L L I C

BEST BALM B E S T M AT T E

Mayb Maybelline Super Stay Matte Ink This color-packed ked liquid liq lipstick doesn’t leave lips feeling tight. Our tester, r who wore it to a wedding, discovered it was still on n the next day.

TO BUY: $9; at drugstores. s

42 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

Becca Lush Lip Colour Balm This balm-lipstick hybrid is like the yoga pants of lipstick—light and comfortable.

Plus, it offers a subtle touch of color.

TO BUY: $22; ulta.com.

Ciaté Glitter Flip Up your lip game for a special occasion.

After applying, let the formula dry for a minute, then press lips together to activate the grown-up glitter.

TO BUY: $19; sephora.com.

To find the one red lipstick that looks good on every skin tone, visit realsimple .com/flattering.

M AT T E , M A N F R E D K O H ; S M E A R , B R I A N H E N N ; R E M A I N I N G P R O D U C T I M A G E S C O U R T E S Y O F M A N U F A C T U R E R S

BEST CRE AM

Clé de Peau Bea auté Lipstick The company s T studied lip shapes to o create the unique ttip, which hugs you ur lips so you get th the perfect swipe e every time.

TO BUY Y: $65; clede peau ubeaute.com.

Naturally Beautiful Results

Experience light as air, barely there, beautiful skin hydration. ®

®

AVEENO Sheer Hydration’s exclusive ACTIVE NATURALS Oat formula absorbs in just seconds and never feels greasy. It’s so light and breathable the only way you’ll know you’re wearing it is by how soft, hydrated and healthy looking your skin is. Sheer bliss. aveeno.com |

@

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© J&JCI 2017

THE REALIST

2 W E T B RU S H

Spritz a small makeup brush with setting spray (tap water works, too!) until it’s damp, then press it into copper shadow.

The makeup artist who created our look (far left) used MAC Cosmetics Eye Shadow in Coppering ($16; maccosmetics.com).

The moisture helps the powder adhere and gives it a pretty, metallic finish.

RU N WAY I N S P I R AT I O N Models at the Les Copains fall/winter 2017 runway show wore a bold copper smoky eye that stretched from lash line to brow bone.

1

Prett y Practical

Halo Eyes S WA P G R AY F O R C O P P E R F O R A B R I G H T E R TA K E O N A S M O K Y E Y E . T H E B E S T PA RT : YO U O N LY N E E D O N E SHADOW TO GET THE LOOK. B y C h e l s e a Tr a b e r B u r n s

44 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

3 BLEND SHAD OW

Starting at the lash line, buff the shadow onto your lid, moving up toward the middle of your eye. Stop just before you reach the crease (doing so keeps the look wearable and daytime friendly).

Then press a little along the lower lash line and into the inner and outer corners to connect the color around your eyes for an ethereal halo e effe ffect. Finish with a few w coats of black mascar ara and a neutral lip ipstick.

Photograph by Christine Blackburne

M A K E U P B Y K AT I E H U G H E S ; H A I R B Y E VA N I E F R A U S T O ; R U N WAY P H O T O G R A P H B Y G O R U N WAY ; P R O D U CT I M AG E S C O U RT E SY O F M A N U FACT U R E R S ; S M E A R S , F R O M TO P : G R EG M A R I N O , B R I A N H E N N

PREP LIDS

Cancel out any redness and create a neutral canvas for copper shadow to pop against by gently patting concealer onto your eyelids. The concealer doubles as primer, so your ur shadow will last lon onger without creasing, ng, fading, or smudging ing.

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THE REALIST

Best in Show This month’s Westminster Kennel Club dog show has us thinking about what makes our pets superlative. Find out the top dogs (and cats and birds and hedgehogs) and learn what type of TLC each unique animal needs.

By A. Jane Grossman

Most Outgoing GOLDEN RETRIEVER

GET T Y IMAGES

It’s almost as if the preternaturally jolly golden retriever were bred specifically to complete the family photo.

One caution: This pup is probably more of a people pleaser than a watchdog. “A golden is more likely to invite intruders in with hopes of a pet or play session,” says veterinarian Nancy Kay.

Best Conversationalist

Hardiest

A F R I C A N G R AY

Dogs of this breed once pulled sleds across nearly 700 miles of snowy terrain to deliver a diphtheria antitoxin to a rural Alaskan town. While they do thrive in chillier temperatures, says veterinarian Gayle O’Konski, malamutes can do fine in warmer regions.

Alex, an African gray parrot, gained notoriety by developing a vocabulary that rivaled that of a human toddler. While a chatty bird can be entertaining, there are times when you’ll want peace and quiet. Try moving your bird to a secluded space when guests come over so they don’t rile her up.

MAL AMUTE

Most Likely to Pull an All-Nighter HED GEHO G

Their tendency to be active at night, while predators were snoozing, kept hedgehogs alive for millennia. To ensure you get a good night’s sleep, set the cage outside your room and keep in mind that the louder the toys a nocturnal pet has, the more disruptive it can be for you.

Most Improved

Crowd-Pleaser

Most Misunderstood

DA L M AT I A N

MAINE CO ON

C H I H UA H UA

BORDER COLLIE

Generations of inbreeding led to a mutation that caused life-threatening bladder stones.

But in the 1970s, dalmatians were bred with pointers, introducing a corrective gene.

Since bladder stones are related to the breed’s metabolism, a vet-approved diet should also help prevent them.

Thanks to their large size and obedient demeanor (you can teach them to high-five), Maine coons bridge the gap between cat people and dog lovers. They’re great with kids and often enjoy being held, but they demand more attention than the average cat.

This breed has a reputation as a harmless designer-purse accessory, but “the size of the dog doesn’t determine personality,” notes animal trainer Mikkel Becker. Chihuahuas may bite when they feel threatened—particularly if restrained—so they need socialization and training.

Bred to help herd livestock, border collies can have an uncanny ability to grasp our words and directions. To prevent yours from becoming restless, Becker suggests keeping him occupied with educational toys and training challenges.

R e p o r t i n g b y Ta m a r a K r a u s

Biggest Brainiac

NOVEMBER 2017 REAL SIMPLE

47

THE REALIST

Best Hair

Most Popular

Trendiest

SPHYNX

AFGHAN HOUND

FRENCH BULLD O G

CHICKEN

Great for pet lovers with allergies, these hairless felines often display outgoing personalities that complement their quirky appearance. With no hair to absorb oil, though, their greasy bodies can leave a mark on some surfaces. The fix?

Wash your cat with a medicated shampoo to flush excess oil from his hair follicles.

Children of the ’70s and ’80s may remember Beauty, Barbie’s golden-maned hound who came with her own hair care accessories. That long coat can mask certain problems, says Kay, like ticks, fleas, or weight fluctuation. You’ll want to run your hands over her monthly to check for hidden issues, and brush her several times a week to avoid tangles.

With their wide smile, easygoing attitude, and sturdy build, French bulldogs have recently experienced a steep increase in popularity. Be aware, though, that the shape of that cute face can lead to breathing trouble or skin infections around the eyes, so owners should stay vigilant about health care.

An increasing number of nouveau homesteaders are turning hens into pets. They’re surprisingly easy to maintain and cheap to feed, and they don’t shed (though adult chickens lose their feathers annually). They also produce eggs—what other pet is going to help you make breakfast? Check with your HOA to see if you need a permit.

Most Sensitive

Most Likely to Have a Big Family

Most Likely to Work for NASA

The Jock

R ABBIT

MUT T

Taking in more than one rabbit? Have a vet examine them first to determine their sex, as it’s not a simple characteristic for an amateur to verify. Capable of having 9 to 12 litters a year, an adult Easter bunny could have hundreds of grandbunnies before Christmas.

The progeny of dogs who choose their own mates generally have fewer abnormalities than purebreds, and some say they’re smarter.

Consider genetic testing for your mutt, says Becker, to help understand his traits and narrow down any potential conditions he may experience.

An ideal companion for active families, these energetic pups need up to three rigorous walks a day. The breed’s innate prey drive may lead yours to chase squirrels or other visitors to your yard, so make sure your space is well fenced and secure.

K I N G C H A R L E S S PA N I E L

This perceptive breed is good at reading humans’ body language and reacting accordingly. Therefore, stern reprimands can negatively affect their demeanor. Set your spaniel up for success by positively redirecting her behavior; e.g., use praise and treats to encourage her to gnaw on chew toys rather than your shoe pile.

A I R E DA L E

Start your search at shelters and rescue centers when looking for the perfect pet. Find the one who will suit your family best at realsimple.com/familypets.

T H E P E T E X P E RT S M I K K E L B EC K E R , T R A I N E R , F E A R F R E E P E TS . C O M N A N CY KAY, DV M , AU T H O R O F S P E AK I N G F O R S P OT G AY L E O’ KO N S K I , DV M , M O R R I S A N I M A L H O S P I TA L , G R A N G E R , I N D I A N A J U L I E R EC K , DV M , V E T E R I N A RY M E D I CA L C E N T E R O F F O RT M I L L , F O RT M I L L , S O U T H CA R O L I N A A N DY R OA R K , DV M , C L E V E L A N D PA R K A N I M A L H O S P I TA L , G R E E N V I L L E , S O U T H C A R O L I N A

48 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

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THE REALIST

Give Your Front Door a Face-Lift T H E S E I M PA C T F U L H O M E M A K E O V E R S TA K E J U ST A F E W D E S I G N S W A P S A N D A S P L A S H O F PA I N T. B y Ta m a r a K r a u s

BEACHY Combine navy stripes, woven rope, and nautical nickel elements to infuse your home with seaside style. Complete the look with wispy beach grass and a sunny shade of yellow on the door.

TO BUY:

S E T D E S I G N B Y TA D D K R O N E C K

Paint: Classical Yellow, $31 per gallon; sherwin -williams.com.

Light fixture: Nickel outdoor cottage lantern, $35; homedepot.com.

Numbers: Atlas Homewares Paragon house numbers (4 in.), $26 each; themine.com.

Planter: Pinstripe planter pot, $150; designtwins.co.

Doormat: Rope mat, $46; houzz.com.

Door: Therma-Tru Craftsman 6-Lite fiberglass entry door, $319; lowes.com.

Door hardware: Baldwin nautical cylinder satin nickel handleset, $159; homedepot.com.

Photographs by Johnny Miller

NOVEMBER 2017 REAL SIMPLE

51

THE REALIST

CL ASSIC A dark blue door is a no-fail option for this traditional style. Pair it with bronze finishes and a Grecian urn for a look that will stand the test of time.

TO BUY:

SIMPLE S T R AT EGY

Add dimension and visual interest to your porch with a potted plant. Not a green thumb? Use an outdoor chair or garden stool instead.

52 RE AL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

Paint: Manor Hall in Napoleon, from $48 per gallon; ppgpaints.com.

Light fixture: Belden indoor/outdoor sconce, from $279; potterybarn.com.

Numbers: House numbers in ITC Bookman (4 in.), $80 each; rockymountain hardware.com.

Planter: Antique rust white urn, $60; jamaligarden.com.

Plant: Eugenia topiary, $40; costafarms.com.

Doormat: RH Restoration Hardware coir doormat, $75; rh.com.

Door hardware: Continental Hardware Naples front door handle, $317; themine.com.

R SVP

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Fancy.

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THE REALIST

MODERN A crisp shade of peach combined with clean-lined accessories gives this porch a sleek and contemporary feel.

TO BUY:

TO BUY:

Paint: Peachy Keen in Aura Grand Entrance, $47 per quart; benjamin moore.com.

Light fixture: Possini Ellis outdoor up- and downlight, $70; lampsplus.com.

Numbers: Serif house numbers (6 in.), $17 each; rejuvenation .com.

Planter: Spun planter, $180, and planter stand, $155; yield design.co.

Plant: Monstera deliciosa, $13; costa farms.com.

Doormat: Room Essentials Geo Triangles doormat, $13; target.com.

Door hardware: Bald handle in Venetian bronze, $305; houzz.com.

54 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

Paint: Green Smoke in exterior eggshell, $127 per gallon; farrow-ball.com.

Light fixture: Carson 12-in. wall sconce, $199; rejuvenation.com.

Numbers: Black + White number signs (4 in.), $12 each; schoolhouse .com.

Planter: Rolled rust rim zinc cylinder pot, $50; jamali garden.com.

Doormat: Vertical stripe jute doormat, $78; shopterrain.com.

Door hardware: Kwikset Ashfield Smartkey handleset, $122; lowes.com.

To find more exterior color inspiration, visit realsimple .com/frontdoor.

FA R M H O U S E Opt for earthy shades, rustic accents, and farmfresh florals to achieve this casual look.

Excess acreage not required.

© AS America, Inc. 2017.

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SAFETY JUST COMES NATURALLY.

1

Toyota Safety Sense™ is now standard on many new Toyotas.

Now that active safety features like a Pre-Collision System (PCS),2 Lane Departure Alert (LDA)3 and others come standard on many new Toyotas – including the all-new Camry – you get extra peace of mind at no extra charge. Toyota Safety Sense™ (TSS). Designed for safety.

Prototype shown with options. Production model may vary. 1. Drivers are responsible for their own safe driving. Always pay attention to your surroundings and drive safely. System effectiveness is dependent on many factors including road, weather and vehicle conditions. See Owner’s Manual for additional limitations and details. 2. The TSS Pre-Collision System is designed to help avoid or reduce the crash speed and damage in certain frontal collisions only. It is not a substitute for safe and attentive driving. System effectiveness is dependent on many factors including road, weather and vehicle conditions. See Owner’s Manual for additional limitations and details. 3. Lane Departure Alert is designed to read visible lane markers under certain conditions, and provide visual and audible alerts when lane departure is detected. It is not a collision-avoidance system or a substitute for safe and attentive driving. Effectiveness is dependent on many factors including road, weather and vehicle conditions. See Owner’s Manual for additional limitations and details. ©2017 Toyota Motor Sales, U.S.A., Inc.

THE REALIST

Stylewise

The Cozy Edit REL A X! THESE NINE PIECES ADD UP TO A N E N D L E S S A R R AY O F O U T F I T S T H A T W I L L S E E Y O U C O M F O R T A B LY T H R O U G H E R R A N D S, B RU N C H , A N D A L L YO U R OTHER WEEKEND PL ANS.

By Rebecca D aly

Photographs by Brian Henn

NOVEMBER 2017 REAL SIMPLE

57

THE REALIST

1 3

THE KEY P I EC E S 1 Eva Mendes Collection at New York & Company Dress TO BUY: $75; nyand company.com.

2

2 Report Boots TO BUY: $80; reportshoes.com.

5 6

3 Fifteen Twenty Sleeveless s Turtleneck TO BUY: $88; fifteentwenty.com m.

4 Louise et Cie Oxfords TO BUY: $139; vincecamuto.com.

6 Loft Skirt TO BUY: $60; loft.com.

7 NYDJ Top TO BUY: $118; nydj.com.

8 Apt. 9 Ruana TO BUY: $58; kohls.com.

9 Cabi Corduroy Pants TO BUY: $109; cabionline.com.

58 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

9

4

7

8

S T Y L I N G B Y A L E X S I LVA F O R B E R N S T E I N & A N D R I U L L I

5 Old Navy Boyfriend Straight Jeans TO BUY: $35; oldnavy.com.

balanced is BEAUTIFUL A a y s

o

cial regimen can help nourish and balance y u imal beauty. The key is a healthy dose of na

t

werful ingredients. Our formulas offer nutri

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CONSUMER: LIMIT ONE COUPON PER PURCHASE of products and quantities stated. LIMIT OF 4 IDENTICAL COUPONS PER HOUSEHOLD PER DAY. Coupons not authorized if purchasing products for resale. Only original coupons accepted. Copying, selling, reposting or auctioning of coupons is prohibited and constitutes fraud. Overage will not be provided in exchange for any coupons (i.e., NO CASH BACK). You pay sales tax. Valid in USA, APO’s & FPO’s only. Void where taxed, restricted or prohibited. RETAILER: You are authorized to act as our agent to redeem this coupon in accordance with the Burt’s Bees coupon redemption policy (available upon request). We will reimburse you for face value up to $0.12 handling if submitted in accordance with our Redemption Policy. Send coupons to: Burt’s Bees 2122, NCH Marketing Services, P.O. Box 880001, El Paso, TX 88588-0001.

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THE REALIST

Ann Taylor Necklace TO BUY: $80; anntaylor.com.

SLEEVELESS S W E AT E R + CORDS Sub in these pretty, burgundy-hued corduroys for your skinny jeans to add instant polish to a look—without sacrificing comfort.

TO P + S K I RT + WRAP Mixing in a simple piece (like this knee-length gray skirt) keeps an oversize scarf and printed top from being overwhelming.

DKNY Hosiery siery Rib Tights TO BUY: $22; macys.com.

60 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

All campfired up.

Whatever the weather, it’s always better together.

Gather round for fall with our super-soft, 100% Portuguese cotton flannel shirts, available in all of autumn’s colors. Pair them with Performance Stretch Jeans, and you’ll be moving and grooving all season long.

Find fall flannels at llbean.com | FREE SHIPPING

THE REALIST

SLEEVELESS S W E AT E R + TO P + J E A N S GO BOLD

Add a statemen nt necklace to turn a solid d dress into an eye-catching g outfit.

Far from adding bulk, a fitted sleeveless turtleneck reins in roomy cuts like a flowy blouse and boyfriend jeans. It keeps you toasty, too.

Vince C Camuto Cuff TO BUY:: $108; vincec camuto.com.

DRESS + B O OTS Wish you could wear your pajamas to dinner? This cozy sweater dress is the next-best thing (and so much chicer).

62 RE AL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

THE REALIST

FLIP SIDE

More bang for your buck! This pink wrap reverses to gray (as seen on page 60).

TO P + CORDS + B O OTS A wardrobe of hues that work well together—like complementary jewel tones and soft neutrals—makes easy work of putting the pieces together.

WRAP + SLEEVELESS S W E AT E R + JEANS An ideal on-the-go combo: The wrap is a warm layer for chilly car rides but easily removable in an overheated store.

S LO U C H A RO OUND Not a fan off the over-the-knee ee look?

These soft, t, fauxsuede boo ots are equally gre eat styled with a belowthe-knee e scrunch.

NOVEMBER 2017 REAL SIMPLE

65

Ƃ 6 ,/ - /

Holiday Hacks with Shauna Robertson SALT LAKE CITY-BASED BLOGGER SHAUNA ROBERTSON OF CHICOVER50 COVERS ALL THINGS FASHION, MAKEUP, HAIRSTYLES AND FITNESS. HER HOLIDAY STRATEGY? STREAMLINING HER SCHEDULE, PLANNING AHEAD AND MAINTAINING HER GLOWING SKIN.

USE AN AGENDA TO PLAN AHEAD Getting my calendar booked out early helps! If I make sure to get all the dates logged in for the most important things, I can see more clearly how to navigate the holidays with less stress!

L’OREAL PARIS AGE PERFECT CELL RENEWAL ROSY TONE MOISTURIZER 1.7oz, $24.99, LOREALPARISUSA.COM

ALWAYS TAKE TIME FOR YOUR SKIN I like to take a little time in the morning and at night during the holiday season to pamper my skin and keep it looking its best. The ritual of applying skincare relaxes me! My go-to product is L’Oréal Paris Age Perfect Cell Renewal Rosy Tone Moisturizer, which makes my skin look rejuvenated even without a lot of makeup, thanks to its formula with Imperial Peony.

WHEN DECORATING, LESS IS MORE I’ve gotten so much simpler as I’ve gotten older when it comes to decking the halls! LESS IS MORE! Now that my kids are grown, I do so much less decorating, including a smaller tree! Easier to put away and easier to change things up each year.

WHEN NOT INDULGING, STICK TO YOUR FRUITS AND VEGGIES With all the good food around, it’s not hard to gain weight during the holidays. I always make sure to eat lots of fruits and veggies, green drinks, lean protein, and always watch my carbs. I indulge in treats though. If I don’t, then I begin to feel deprived.

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THE REALIST

1

2

3

Tr e n d t o Tr y

Leopard TA K E A WA L K O N T H E J U ST- W I L D E N O U G H S I D E I N P R I N T S T H AT PA I R E A S I LY W I T H E V E RY T H I N G .

4 4 TA I LO R E D T RO OUSER S

Tuck this flowy top into a pencil skirt for the office or wear it loose over jeans on the weekend.

TO BUY: Bell-sleeve boatneck top, $128 (use code RS25 for 25 percent off); karenkane.com.

ubdued shade A darker, su e se ponte makes thes p e double-knitt pants an easye yto-wear, flattering g pick..

TO BUY: Jung gle trouser, $119;; com. cabionline.co

2 S P OT T E D F L AT S More fun than basic black (but equally enduring), these ballet flats are an easy way to add a pop of pattern.

TO BUY: The Classic flat, $245; margauxny.com.

3 CHIC CUFFS Use one (or a few) of these to punctuate a crisp white shirt.

TO BUY: Small cuff, $38, and large, $58; rjgraziano.com.

68 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

5

5 E Y E - C ATC TC H I N G C OAT O T statement p piece Throw this s most anything on over alm g polish.. to create instant p TO BUY: Imelda coat, $290; bodenUSA.com.

6

6 MIXED-PRINT MESSENGER This bag’s neutral n s tones work with most mos colors. co o s.

TO BUY: Issa ac Mizrahi Live!! dbag, saddle hand g $323; qvc.com.

Find out which a animal prints are e classics ((and which h to donate)) att realsimple.com/en nduringtrends. realsimple.com/enduringtrends.

Photographs by Philip Friedman

S O F T S T Y L I N G B Y M A I T R A N ; L E O PA R D , PA U L T E S S I E R / S T O C K S Y

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MEANINGFUL CONNECTIONS IN A MODERN WORLD

1

Fess up to Facebook stalking.

5 WAYS TO ACTUA LLY E NJ OY YOU R H I G H S CH O O L R EU N I O N

By Betsy Rubiner

Social media has changed reunions.

In previous generations, people hadn’t seen or heard about classmates for years. We have. At my 20th reunion, rather than playing dumb when classmates told me things I already knew, I said, “Oh, yeah. We’re friends on Facebook.”

It’s less awkward that way. But be prepared for surprises. Facebook and Instagram lull us into thinking we know everything about people, but no one puts everything online.

Some classmates hadn’t changed their photo in (probably) years, so I had to hide my shock at what they looked like in person. Some had gotten divorced, which they hadn’t announced on social media.

Also, before your reunion, classmates may post old photos where you don’t look your best. I hate that! If someone posts old pictures that you don’t think are representative of your life, it’s OK to untag yourself so the photo doesn’t wind up in your feed. I say the same goes for the reunion photos, too.

SARAH SMILEY IS A NEWSPAPER COLUMNIST AND THE AUTHOR OF FOUR MEMOIRS, INCLUDING GOT HERE AS SOON AS I COULD. SHE LIVES IN BANGOR, MAINE, AND HAS AT TENDED HER 20TH REUNION.

Photographs by Corey Olsen Pe n n a n t s b y S m a l l C i t y S u p p l y. c o m

NOVEMBER 2017 REAL SIMPLE

71

R E L AT I N G

4

Pretend you’re meeting strangers.

3

Prepare emotionally in advance.

2

Don’t assume your partner should go.

It’s strange to go as the partner.

Partners are often left behind.

When I went to my husband’s 20th reunion years ago, he wanted to see all his old friends and old girlfriends, and I was left in the corner with the other partners who didn’t know anybody. I was kind of shocked that I was completely ignored. I don’t blame my husband. He was trying. But he was conflicted about whether he should stay with me or see friends. In hindsight, I just shouldn’t have gone—it was too much pressure on both of us.

As a couple, talk it out beforehand: what’s going to happen, whom you may see. Maybe introduce your partner, in advance, to another classmate’s partner.

Or have a plan B so your partner can escape.

ELAINE AMBROSE IS A PUBLIC SPE AKER AND THE AUTHOR OF MIDL IFE HAPPY HOUR. SHE LIVES IN E AGLE, IDAHO, AND HAS AT TENDED HER 10TH, 20TH, 30TH, AND 40TH REUNIONS.

72 RE AL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

We’re a warehouse of emotional memories.

Be aware that they can be triggered ahead of a reunion, and we may feel anxiety about our appearance, abilities, status, or achievements. Consider that what you feel now is simply a reminder of what you felt when you were in school; you’ll learn about yourself and may see classmates in a new light.

I had a good school friend who told me in high school that she couldn’t hang out with me on weekends because her mother was concerned that I didn’t have a mother (mine had died) and that I lived in the lower-social-class part of town. At the time, I was baffled. But thinking back, I realized my friend wasn’t at fault. Her mother was worried about her popularity and safety.

Your self-consciousness may make you feel like the spotlight is on you, but it’s not.

Reflecting may also bring up positive ways that classmates influenced you. Let them know. At my 45th reunion, one woman told me that she would not have passed freshman math if I hadn’t helped her, and she was forever grateful. I didn’t even remember! But what a nice thing to say.

MARY LAMIA IS A CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIST, A PROFESSOR, AND THE AUTHOR OF EMOT IONS! MAKING SENSE OF YOUR FEEL INGS. SHE LIVES IN THE SAN FRANCISCO BAY ARE A AND HAS AT TENDED HER 5TH, 10TH, 25TH, AND 45TH REUNIONS.

Very few people are the same as they were in high school. People change—including you. I met someone who was really nasty in high school but had become extremely open, kind, and welcoming. If you see classmates you didn’t really know then or don’t recognize, admit it. Go into the experience as if you were meeting new people.

If you don’t know what to talk about, ask about their favorite high school memories, classes, or teachers or what their passion is today.

Listen more than you talk. You may have a lot in common.

JANE BLUESTEIN, A FORMER TE ACHER AND COUNSELOR, IS COAUTHOR OF HIGH SCHOOL’S NOT FOREVER. SHE RUNS A CONSULTING FIRM IN ALBUQUERQUE, NEW ME XICO, AND HAS AT TENDED HER 10TH, 40TH, AND 45TH REUNIONS.

5

Be vulnerable.

I appeared at my 20th reunion in a wheelchair, after an accident caused me to become quadriplegic. Almost everyone kept their distance. Nobody knew what to say. A few classmates did sit with me, and I talked from my heart— about my discomfort, my fear of being judged and losing friends because of my disability. Vulnerability invites compassion. By a certain age, you don’t care what other people think. You just want to hang out with your friends.

If you aren’t real and don’t connect with people on a human level, you’re going to miss the party.

DAN GOTTLIEB IS A PSYCHOLOGIST BASED IN PHIL ADELPHIA AND THE FORMER HOST OF A MENTAL HE ALTH CALL-IN RADIO SHOW ON WHYY. HE HAS BEEN TO SIX REUNIONS, MOST RECENTLY HIS 50TH.

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WHEN YOUR PRIORITY FOR THE HOLIDAYS IS QUICKLY TURNING YOUR HOUSE INTO A HOME. More people use the United States Postal Service to deliver online purchases to homes than anyone else in the country.

Ship now at USPS.com/you

© 2017 United States Postal Service. All Rights Reserved. The Eagle Logo is among the many trademarks of the U.S. Postal Service®.

Please recycle packaging materials whenever possible.

R E L AT I N G

When Your Family Is Far Away Getting together over the holidays can be rough when relatives are in a different city…or state…or country. Plane tickets cost a fortune.

You need a small cargo ship to transport your kids’ gear. And emotional expectations are high on all sides. But you can make it work—or find ways to feel connected without ever leaving home.

By Jane Borden

Illustrations by Federica Bordoni

NOVEMBER 2017 REAL SIMPLE

75

R E L AT I N G

If you want to go but money is tight Traveling is expensive. Traveling during peak holiday season? Even worse. Add in the costs of buying gifts and sparkly reindeer sweaters for the traditional family sing-along, and your holiday debt can last well into the new year. Use these strategies to cut down on expenses without cutting out the family fun.

M A K E YO U R P R E S E N C E THE PRESENT

Last year, Americans said they planned to spend more than $900 on holiday gifts. Think about it: You can buy two round-trip tickets to many U.S. cities for that amount. Tell your family you’d love to join them, but since you’ll be spending on airfare, it would be great if you could stick with homemade gifts or do a Secret Santa. Or offer to organize a fun event as your gift, suggests Joanne Koegl, a marriage and family therapist in Pasadena, California: “Take them on a tour of the holiday lights or plan a gingerbreadhouse-decorating contest.” If your family goes all out on gifts anyway, hand over your homemade goodies without guilt, says Catherine Pearlman, PhD, a family therapist and the author of Ignore It! “Let others gift as they wish,” she says. “Just be a grateful recipient.”

D O A FA M I LY-T H E M E D ROA D T R I P

If your family lives within reasonable driving distance—even if the drive requires an overnight stop— the journey can be part of the adventure, and a tank of gas will cost a lot less than an airline ticket.

“We always plan the route to

76 R E A L S I M P L E N O V E M B E R 2 0 1 7

include a visit with a family member or friend who lives halfway,” says Jennifer Ritter, a lawyer and mom of two who has driven from New York to Pittsburgh, Toronto, and Florida to visit loved ones. “We visit during the day and then drive through the night. My husband and I take turns driving while listening to podcasts so the other one can snooze. We’ve saved thousands by taking the car instead of flying.”

G O RO G U E W I T H T H E C A L E N DA R

Are we any less thankful at Thanksgiving if it’s celebrated on the third Thursday of November instead of the fourth? Consider visiting your family the week before or after the actual holiday— you can save a bundle on airfare off-peak. “Most towns have holiday activities from Thanksgiving

all the way through the end of December,” points out Keryn Means, founder of Walking on Travels, a family-travel blog.

Childhood friends and neighbors are more likely to be free on an off-week, so you can invite all of them over for a potluck. “Call your family with a specific plan,” suggests Koegl. “Explain that you found affordable flights at a different time, that you would be happy to cook, and that they can still celebrate at the regular time without you. Most of the time, people will meet you halfway.”

S H A R E T H E C O S T S , FA M I LY- S T Y L E

If you’re feeling bold, ask your family to pitch in. “My brother lives farthest away, so he proposed a cost-sharing approach,” says Lauren Curry, a lawyer and mother of two in Nolensville, Tennessee. “We add up his airfare, my parents’ gas money, and my hosting costs, and then we split the total cost by three.”

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R E L AT I N G

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If you want to go but your family stresses you out Have an overbearing father-in-law, feuding parents, or a moody sister?

While we’d love everyone to be on their best behavior during the season of peace and joy, all that togetherness can bring out their worst.

Here’s how to deal.

P L A N T O P RO T E C T YO U R S E L F

While you can’t necessarily stop your dad from pointing out that you’ve gained weight or your sister from acting like a martyr, you can decide how you’ll react when you’re provoked, says Marie Hartwell-Walker, EdD, author of Tending the Family Heart Through the Holidays. “You’re not going to change your relatives, but you can figure out how to minimize their impact on you,” she says.

Koegl suggests making a list of all the annoying things you fear will happen: “Say to yourself, ‘If I expect things, they won’t surprise me, and I’ll go with the flow.’”

L I M I T YO U R T I M E T O G E T H E R

“Tell your family you’re looking forward to spending the holiday dinner with them, but you’re also looking forward to seeing some nearby sights on this trip,” suggests Means. Hopefully, everyone can play nice for one meal—if not, you’re out quickly anyway.

S P R E A D T H E L OV E

Some divorced parents get along fine; others, not so much.

If yours can’t be in the same room together, plan your time carefully in advance so both sides feel they received enough attention, says Pearlman. “Let them know exactly when you’ll see them and stick with it,” she says. If it’s not practical to divvy up your time 50-50, give the parent who gets less time something special in return, suggests Pearlman: “Ask them to bring the kids to a movie they’re really excited about so it’s about quality, not quantity.”

MEET IN THE MIDDLE

Instead of gathering at the family homestead, suggest celebrating on neutral ground, such as a resort halfway between your homes.

“That way everyone is out of their comfort zone,” explains Kristi Marcelle, an independent travel adviser at Ciao Bambino!, a travel agency specializing in families.

No one is the host, so your mom can’t stress over the table settings and your brother might not regress to his teenage surliness.

Her biggest tip for family travel: “If you rent a house, decide in advance who will get—and pay extra for—the master bedroom.”

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R E L AT I N G

If you want to go but traveling with kids is a pain Children bring joy, love, and a deep sense of purpose to your life. They also make traveling a thousand times more difficult. Take these steps so that holiday travel will look more like an adventure story and less like the first chapter in a murder mystery.

D E C I D E I F T H E Y ’ R E T RU LY R E A DY

“Some children will be fine wherever you take them, but some are sensitive from the day they’re born, and changes in environment or routine are really hard,” says Hartwell-Walker. “If you know that no matter how much you prep, your kid isn’t ready for such a big disruption in his or her schedule, don’t travel this year.” Means suggests you do a trial run by taking a local overnight trip first. “Keep as many things about their routine as consistent as possible, like bringing a sound machine you use at home on the road with you.”

have more control over your kids’ schedule, which can stave off crankiness. Pearlman adds that there are ways to present the idea without hurting your parents’ feelings: “Say, ‘I know that having everyone in the house is hard, so we could stay at a hotel but come over for dinner every night.’ ” Or if your parents are mostly interested in quality time with the grandchildren anyway, you can get a date night out of it. “The kids can stay with their grandparents one night while the parents get the hotel room all to themselves,” she says.

B E N D T H E RU L E S —A B I T

G E T T H E M I N VO LV E D I N T H E P L A N

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Once you determine your kids are ready for the trip, get them invested by coming up with some ideas about what would make it special for them. “Tell younger kids fun stories about relatives they may not be familiar with,” says Hartwell-Walker. Let older kids Google local restaurants to check out or fun events to attend.

“Give them a voice, and they’ll feel like they’re part of it,” says Koegl.

B U I L D I N B R E AT H I N G S PA C E

If you can swing it financially, consider staying in a hotel or Airbnb rather than bunking with family, suggests Pearlman. That way you can all be together without being on top of one another, and you can

If Grandma wants to feed your son ice cream for breakfast or your daughter refuses to wear a party dress, let it go, advises Pearlman.

“Otherwise it just creates bad feelings,” she says. “Your kids won’t be destroyed because they’re watching more TV or eating nonorganic food for a few days.” But no matter where they sleep or what they eat, Pearlman suggests making sure it all happens at the regularly scheduled time: “Getting hungry or overtired can lead to a lot of stress.”

R E L AT I N G

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If you really, honestly just don’t want to go Sometimes you need to take a break from the family and create your own traditions in your own little corner of the world. If you’ve decided to stay home this year, these tips can help you send your regrets in the most heartfelt and gracious way.

B R E A K T H E N E W S G E N T LY

C O N T R I B U T E F RO M A FA R

Give as much notice as you can so your family can get used to the idea, says Hartwell-Walker. “Don’t blindside them,” she says. “Say, ‘Holiday travel is going to be very difficult this year. I’m going to think it through—can we talk next week?’ ” Then offer a plan B. “What makes the older folks nervous is the feeling that if you’re not coming now, when will they see you?” says Hartwell-Walker.

Make a suggestion for another family gathering (“Remember, we’ll all see one another at Katie’s graduation in June”) and remind them that the decision isn’t permanent. You’ll revisit it next year when money isn’t as tight, the kids are out of diapers, or your work schedule changes.

Just because you’re not there in person doesn’t mean you can’t still be part of the celebration. Send a special dessert so they know you’re thinking of them, or buy everyone matching pj’s and FaceTime in the morning while you’re all wearing them. Pearlman suggests sending everyone the same ornaments or Hanukkah candles so you’re having a connected experience no matter where you are. Courtney Gatewood, a mother of two in Los Angeles, keeps up one shared tradition to feel close to her family, even though she stopped flying home several years ago. “Every Christmas Eve, my family listens to a recording of Dylan Thomas reading A Child’s Christmas in Wales,” she says. “I do that in my home now. It’s nice to know that we’re all listening to the same thing on the same night.”

H AV E A V I RT UA L V I S I T

Skype and FaceTime are game changers for far-flung families.

“On Easter, my kids take my parents on the egg hunt with them through FaceTime, and on Christmas morning they open presents with them,” says Mary Beth Canty, a management consultant and mother of two in Chicago. Pearlman says one sure way to keep kids engaged over video chats is to schedule the calls after something exciting. “Kids will have more to say when they have specific news to share or an event to discuss,” she says.

D O N ’ T RU B I T I N

If you don’t go home but do wind up going for a weekend away with friends or throwing a dinner party, don’t make your family feel bad by posting all about it on Facebook or Instagram, suggests Koegl. “The only thing I’d post is, ‘To my family on the holidays, I’m missing you.’”

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R E LAT I N G

Modern Manners R E A L S I M P L E ’ S E T I Q U E T T E E X P E R T, C AT H E R I N E N E W M A N , O F F E R S HER BEST ADVICE ON YO U R S O C I A L Q UA N DA R I E S.

J.M. A SKS...

My husband’s job and volunteer commitments require us to attend quite a few social functions. He has a great sense of humor, and everyone loves him. It’s difficult for me to strike up a conversation with strangers. I wander about, looking for someone to talk to, and it’s awkward.

Should he stay by my side at events, or is it acceptable for him to leave me alone?

This is causing a problem in our marriage.

82 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

ABOUT C AT H E R I N E The author of One Mixed-Up Night, Catastrophic Happiness, and Waiting for Birdy, Catherine Newman has shared her wisdom on matters ranging from family and friends to happiness and pickling in numerous publications. She gets advice from her husband and two opinionated children in Amherst, Massachusetts.

Say, “Instead of exchanging gifts this year, let’s take each other out to dinner!

I’d much rather have the time with you than any more stuff.” If she’s balky?

Cite the research that money spent on experiences brings more—and more lasting—pleasure than money spent on things. I promise you won’t find comparable research suggesting that tchotchkes are the sole key to happiness.

I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y U L I K N Ö R Z E R ; P H O T O G R A P H B Y A L E S S I O B O G A N I / S T O C K S Y

Does it help to remember that these events are work for your husband? He is probably obligated to schmooze in a way that you, as a shy person, find hard to keep up with. Then again, I hate the thought of a woman stuck at a party, feeling like an accessory to her husband’s career; it does not sit well with my feminist self. A few strategies: Offer to skip events when your husband doesn’t think your presence is crucial; when you do go, take two cars, or put in an appearance and then call a taxi; ask him to check in regularly with you while you’re there; balance big events with intimate ones where you really shine as a person and partner.

I feel like there’s a Pilates metaphor here about working on your core so you can withstand smaller injuries, only I’ve never actually done Pilates. I bet you know what I’m saying, though. Strengthen your marriage overall, and the inevitable hard things won’t shake it too badly.

K.S. A SKS...

I have a dear friend who insists that we exchange holiday gifts each year.

I have tried many times to explain that I no longer need or have space for more stuff; a nice card would suffice. I would like to address this subject before my friend starts her shopping. How do I bring it up again?

R E LAT I N G

L . D. A S K S . . .

My mother-in-law lives with us. We provide her with a two-bedroom living area rent-free in exchange for occasional childcare. We have been discussing a trip to Disney World for our two kids. She has informed us, “I am coming.”

This will considerably increase the costs, since it means we’ll need two hotel rooms. Also, she has limited mobility, and it will restrict what we’re able to do. Is it OK to tell her we would rather go without her? My husband wants to, but I am worried about hurting her feelings.

L.S. A SKS...

COREY OLSEN

Another family and I split the cost of a babysitter, who watches both my 1-year-old daughter and the other family’s son. Overall, we’re happy with the caregiver. Recently, my daughter locked herself in a room at the other family’s home. There was no key, so the sitter had to break the doorjamb to get her out.

She was fine. Who should pay for the repairs?

Your poor daughter! The poor nanny!

I’m so glad everyone was fine. As for the cost? You could say it’s your child’s “fault,” except she’s 1. Or you could say it’s the host family’s fault for not childproofing, only the same thing could have happened at your house. (As a person whose toddler once grabbed a knife off a countertop I didn’t know she could reach, I understand how hard it is to anticipate what a baby might do until she does it.) It would be unethical to dock the sitter, given that she was problemsolving during the course of her work. If it were me, I’d offer to pay, as it was my child who caused the problem. Then, if the other family protested, I’d propose splitting the cost.

As you know, good care for your children is much more valuable than whatever that repair sets you back.

HAVE AN E TIQUE T TE QUE STION? Submit your social conundrums to modernmanners @realsimple.com. Selected letters will be featured on these pages every month.

A rhetorical question: Why is it the women who are responsible for everybody’s feelings? But OK, we are, so let’s see how we can send you on that trip without your mother-in-law—and without devastating her. This is a long shot, but is there any chance she doesn’t actually want to go? That she’s inviting herself along because she imagines you need her help with the kids? If this is the case— and even if it isn’t—it might be worth describing Disney World to her: the lines, the schlepping, the heat and crowds and complicated terrain, the mobility challenges and roaming Mickey Mouses. “I’m worried that this isn’t going to be a fun trip for you,” your husband (or, OK, you) can say, truthfully. “And I’m worried that I’m going to be stressed-out about keeping you comfortable there. Let us go on this trip, just the four of us, and we’ll plan a different weekend away that will better suit you.” If she’s crushed, or if Disney World turns out to be the last item on her bucket list, then you’ll have to weigh the guilt of disappointing her against the desire to be there without her. That is, if not having her there is going to ruin your whole trip anyway, then, sigh, maybe you should just go ahead and include her.

(Thank you for this question: I am resolving not to invite myself along everywhere when my kids are grown. Or at least resolving to try.)

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R E L AT I N G

M E M E N TO S

Top: The author’s mother with her brother. Bottom: A photo of the Fitch family, circa 1963.

P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y K ATJ A G R E E F F

Good Read

Our Next Chapter D E M E N T I A T O O K T H E M O T H E R S H E ’ D K N O W N . B U T, W R I T E S J A N E T F I T C H, I T A L S O B R O U G H T U N E X P E C T E D T E N D E R N E S S T O T H E I R B R O K E N R E L A T I O N S H I P.

Photographs by Alice Gao

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R E L AT I N G

E T M E I N T R O D U C E YO U to my mother. A woman who had a long career in politics, a person never much interested in family or personal life, controlling and tough as they come. Alma Fitch had many good points—she was creative, a reader, articulate, curious about the world, and funny as hell—but she was a poor match for me, a volatile, intense, and imaginative child desperate to be understood. Someone once asked her what she remembered of my childhood. She was embarrassed to admit she remembered nothing but how angry I always was.

Luckily, we lived long enough to see our relationship warm into a cordial truce, even appreciation. She was proud of my writing, my parenting of her only grandchild, and I admired her savvy, her many accomplishments, often firsts for women. At 81, she was still working.

The last thing we expected was dementia.

It started with unpaid bills. Medication untaken. Confusion between the cell phone and the kitchen cordless.

She’d taken care of my Alzheimer’s-stricken father at home with round-the-clock help and didn’t want to repeat that sideshow. Once she decided to move into a retirement home, she never looked back. That was quintessentially Alma, never one to linger over the baby pictures.

It took me a full year to decommission the house. Between a flooded basement, repairs, dry rot, carpenters, insurance, three escrows, plus 50 years’ worth of stuff, preparing it for sale proved the hardest year of my life. But it was also the first time my mother let me take care of anything for her. And she actually noticed what that cost me in terms of my time and my sanity, delays on my book. Her appreciation startled me. She demanded things of others but rarely noticed their sacrifices. I felt seen, and loved, in a way I hadn’t felt in 50-some years of being her daughter.

Now that she was free of the house, it became clear she needed something to do. Back in the ’50s, she’d painted.

She liked the art class at her new residence, and I asked if she’d like private lessons. She thought she would, so I arranged for the teacher to come work with her one-onone. Her self-esteem blossomed. Word got around that Alma Fitch was an artist. She found a new self, something to be proud of, to look forward to.

She settled in well, but memory loss left her anxious, with a sense of things undone—telephone calls unreturned, letters unanswered. I decided to pitch in—help her write letters, call her old friends. I had long conversations with people who’d just been names to me. After all these years, I found myself a part of my mother’s “other” life.

L

88 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

A L M A’ S B O O K The author turned a three-ring binder into a scrapbook of her mother’s life.

One afternoon, she confided, “I never expected you to take care of me like this, after how I treated you. I thought you’d get back at me.” Pleasure and sadness surged through me with equal force. Grief that she thought so ill of me, even late in life. Pleasure that she finally saw me as I was.

By then she was becoming a new person. No longer my mother. I tended to call her Alma now. She even looked different. She’d lost weight, let her hair go white—unleashing a flood of welcome compliments. It wasn’t a bad time.

People visited, she still conversed. How well the conventions of manners serve a person, that almost instinctive call and response. Her new greeting became “Looking good, kid.” But the time was also laden with panic and frustration. She called me saying she couldn’t breathe. I stopped everything and raced over, but when we got her to the doctor, she showed him her foot.

Eventually she had to move into a more assisted environment. She liked the place well enough but loathed their memory program—she didn’t play “little games,” she declared haughtily. Her doctor suggested the games actually might be too hard, and her refusal a larger revolt against the humiliation of decline. My mother was losing ground, and no memory game was going to prevent it.

R E L AT I N G

It made me wonder, What is a person?

What happens when we stop remembering our prejudices and preferences?

I fought the next move—into the locked dementia/ Alzheimer’s ward. It seemed like a failure. All my life I’d rebelled against my mother’s controlling nature. Now it was my turn to let go and accept things as they were. It was like learning to be a parent all over again—guiding with a tai chi hand, watching, pushing gently, and backing off, listening, allowing. And just like child-rearing, the situation was never stable; it was always on its way to becoming something else. To my surprise, Alma quickly adjusted to the ward and participated in activities with astonishing cheerfulness.

Our unexpected third act continued to unfold.

I D O N ’ T WA N T T O P U T a rosy glow on it. There were times she became so angry and violent that the staff had to wear armguards in case my tiny 87-year-old mother decided to slug them or scratch them. “Stick it up your a—!” she’d shout. But at the same time, our relationship went places that would have been impossible any time earlier. When the local Sonny and Cher look-alike band visited, I noticed Alma bopping in her chair. I helped her to her feet, and we danced, with her in my arms. After that, I began taking her into her room and putting on some Sinatra to dance to—something she would never have allowed if she had been “herself.” We played in ways we never had. She could catch a Nerf ball and throw it back, bat a balloon. I put “makeup” on her with big fluffy brushes, stroking her eyelids and cheeks, her arms. We could spend hours “getting ready.” For what, who cared?

She’d loved music and now sang all the time, songs from childhood, jazz songs, showtunes. Her new lack of inhibition made me sad that she couldn’t have shared herself more with others when she was still compos mentis. But she’d had too much of a sense of her own dignity to allow it. She demanded a certain level of respect. It was dyedin-the-wool, as deep as her still-beating heart. Yet in other ways she became unrecognizable. A working woman in a man’s world, she’d been cautious about her sexuality. Suddenly she was a flirt! What a shock, like seeing her as a teenager. I watched her hold hands with Don, a man who didn’t know who was president but could shout out a Scrabble word when asked for words beginning with s.

“Serendipity! Serengeti!”

Like many controlling people, she had never liked animals. But one Thanksgiving, a cousin’s shih tzu jumped onto the couch next to her. “What a nice little dog,” she mused, petting it, leaving me speechless. It made me wonder, What is a person? What happens when we stop remembering our prejudices and preferences, our opinions? How much of what we consider ourselves, our so-called character, is just refusal, decisions that keep us locked away from experiences that might otherwise enhance our lives?

By that time, Alma could no longer read, but she grew livid when I tried to replace her heavy tomes with picture books. “Where are my books?!” she demanded. I returned them but left a few children’s books I knew would be far more suitable. Such mixed emotions I felt reading The Cat in the Hat, the very book from which she and my father had taught me to read. I let the ducklings in Make Way for Ducklings cross Wilshire Boulevard to go to MacArthur Park, landmarks of our own city. The mother and daughter in Blueberries for Sal became her and me going blueberry picking together in Yosemite—a place we’d visited on our sole family camping trip.

M O M E N T S I N T I M E Photos in Alma’s book show her with her husband, Vernon, and with the author.

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R E L AT I N G

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ABOUT T H E AU T H O R Janet Fitch is the best-selling author of Paint It Black and White Oleander. Her next novel, The Revolution of Marina M., will be released on November 7.

I M A D E H E R A B O O K of her own life, taking a one-inch ring binder and some sheet protectors and scanning pictures of her at various stages of her life, blown up to full page. Alma Brown, beautiful at 19 in her co-op house at UCLA. With Dad in front of their first house, with its spindly little tree. The two of them, extraordinarily handsome, in Hawaii in the ’50s.

My daughter artfully collaged the cover and wrote ALMA on the front. My mother adored that book. If ever she became agitated, the staff could take her to her room, put on some classical music, and give it to her, calming her immediately.

Eventually she became bedridden, but she still had her books and her music. When she was hospitalized, I brought over a boom box with a set of red headphones and put a big sign over her bed: KEEP HEADPHONES ON ALL DAY. JAZZ STATION OR CLASSICAL. A nonspeaking demented person in a hospital bed is too easily ignored. The lonely child in me understood: Music is the best companion.

Often I’d climb into bed with her. She’d long forgotten who I was, but the fact that I was lying beside her, reading to her—she knew I belonged to her somehow. Together we’d look at The Cat in the Hat or her book, which she had until she died. I can still remember my own daughter’s small hands on my face, patting my cheeks. My mother had no such memories of me, but I have many now of her, touching her, feeding her twice a day, as I was reasonably sure the busy orderlies would not take 45 minutes to feed her a pulverized meal. She liked salt and butter, and I added extra—why not?

In caring for her in such intimate ways, I found myself, in some mysterious transference, being parented. It turns out it didn’t much matter whether I was the parent or the child, the parent/child, or the child/parent. The closeness that had always been missing had been given back to us.

When she died, I was reading to her from A Child’s Garden of Verses a poem I’d never read before, “Farewell to the Farm,” with a heartbreaking refrain: “Good-bye, good-bye, to everything!” I’d walked with her to the end, unable to stop anything from happening, but there. In the end, presence is everything.

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J A N E T F I T C H , C O U R T E S Y O F C AT G W Y N N

“See, that’s you,” I said, pointing to the book’s dark-haired mother, “and that’s me,” the scruffy little girl in overalls.

“Remember when we went to Yosemite and picked berries?”

And she nodded yes—she remembered! It was oddly profound. In reading that book, I gave myself the childhood I’d never had, and something broken between us was healed.

In a strange way, Alma’s dementia had allowed us to be the mother and daughter we never were.

A DV E RT IS E M E N T

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W O R K , M O N E Y, A N D H E A L T H ADVICE FOR BUSY PEOPLE

YO U R G U ID E TO INVE STING, FRO M $5 TO $50,000

By Kate Rockwood

The myth that men are better investors? Consider it killed: A recent Fidelity Investments study found that when women invest, their portfolios earn more annually. And thanks to new robo-adviser apps and brokerage services, boosting your savings through the stock market is easier than ever. Experts weigh in on how to make the most of your money.

Photographs by Corey Olsen

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BAL ANCE

First, create a good foundation.

Still stashing all your savings at the bank? With a diverse portfolio and a lot of patience, history shows you can expect about a 7 percent return on the stock market—which trounces the 1 percent you’d probably earn in a standard savings account. Just be sure you’ve taken these steps before you shift more money to the market.

PAY O F F H I G H - I N T E R E S T

to access in an emergency than, say, an IRA (which in most cases you can’t touch without penalty until age 59½), you don’t want a fender bender to force you to sell stock when the market is low. Most financial pros recommend saving three to six months’ worth of living expenses.

If amassing that much feels challenging, set aside 5 percent of your take-home pay in a dedicated account, says Wendy Liebowitz, CFP, vice president at Fidelity Investments in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

C O N S U M E R D E BT

Credit cards now hover around 12 percent interest on average, according to ValuePenguin, which means investing while juggling plastic is a nonstarter. Tighten your budget and put spare cash toward your credit card balance to wipe it clean. But student loans and car payments are in a different category: If you have an interest rate below 5 percent, you might be better off making regular payments and putting money toward investments, says Amy Keller, a financial adviser at Ameriprise in Chicago.

S E T A S I D E S AV I N G S

A 2017 Bankrate survey found that nearly 60 percent of people don’t have $1,000 they could tap for unexpected expenses. And while money in a mutual fund is easier

96 RE AL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

C H E C K YO U R R E T I R E M E N T ACCOUNTS

One in four people misses some portion of the employer match with a 401(k) account, according to a report

by Financial Engines, a portfolio management company. If that describes you, then bumping up your contribution should happen before you worry about investing on your own. “Free money is the best money,” points out Tim Maurer, CFP, director of personal finance at the BAM Alliance, an association of independent wealth management firms, and author of Simple Money. And with an employer match, you’re doubling your money—even before it hits the market.

Do you want to own a second home one day? Retire early? Take a long vacation? Before you invest, think through your goals and time frame, because you always want to tie the type of investment to the term, says Liebowitz. Generally speaking, the sooner you plan to use the money, the less risk you should shoulder. (And if you’re thinking of spending it in the next three to five years, investing may be too risky entirely—look at CDs or money market accounts instead.) For nearterm goals, you might invest in more conservative bonds, which have a lower yield but tend to be less risky than stocks. But if your goal is set in the far-off future, your investments should tip more toward stocks. “They’re volatile, but with a long investment horizon, you can weather some of those dips for more aggressive growth,” says Maurer.

When investors talk about risk, they’re not only talking time. There’s also an emotional component, says Maurer. If you think watching your stock’s value sink (even temporarily) would make you uncomfortable, stick with more conservative choices, like a mutual fund or an exchange-traded fund that aligns with your risk tolerance and timeline. (ETFs are a basket of stocks, like a mutual fund, so they’re less risky than buying into one company.)

You have to accept some risk, but diversification—picking a wide variety of stocks and bonds rather than doubling down on one investment— will leave you less exposed.

P R O P S B Y B E T H F L AT L E Y ; S T Y L I N G B Y L A W R E N C E J . W H R I T E N O U R J R .

Next, consider your goals.

BAL ANCE

Then start investing.

I N V E S T $ 5 T O $ 50

Check out new investment apps, like Acorn, Stash, and Betterment.

After taking a short risk-assessment quiz, you’re steered toward a group of ETFs, and you can buy a share for just $5, sometimes less. Depending on the platform, you can kick in more money whenever you like, set up automatic contributions, or, with Acorn, link the app to your debit card so that everyday transactions are rounded to the nearest dollar and the spare change gets invested.

Betterment charges an annual fee equal to 0.25 percent of your portfolio, while Acorn and Stash charge $1 per month for accounts with less than $5,000.

I N V E S T $ 50 0

Stick to the apps above or consider Wealthfront, a robo-adviser that has a $500 minimum but manages portfolios up to $10,000 gratis. If you’d rather go the DIY route, $500 is also enough to get active with a discount brokerage firm, such as E-Trade or TD Ameritrade, and invest in ETFs or individual stocks. Both sites let you geek out over info (streaming market data, real-time

98 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

“The biggest mistake is people thinking they have to build up a ton of money to start investing.” quotes, live commentary, analyst research) and offer more than 100 commission-free ETFs. Just keep an eye on possible withdrawal fees and trade commissions, which can eclipse the interest earned on a small, short-term investment.

INVEST $5,000

You’ve cleared the hurdles for pretty much any type of investment and can head to a bank, mutual fund company, or brokerage. Diversification may take on new meaning, too, as you spread your money across different types of accounts— say, a Roth IRA plus mutual fund plus stocks or bonds or both. Whether $5,000 feels like big bucks or pocket change, it’s almost universally beneficial to seek out a financial adviser, says Maurer. A few hours with a feeonly fiduciary, like Garrett Planning Network or XY Planning Network, can help align your $5,000 with your goals. You’ll pay fees for advice rather than commissions on your investments.

I N V E S T $ 50 , 0 0 0

A general financial planner is fantastic for helping you prioritize money goals and stretch savings, but with a budget this big, you may want to seek the advice of someone who also specializes in investments, suggests Keller. At $50,000, you meet many of the minimum thresholds set by brokerage firms for this type of service, such as Fidelity’s Portfolio Advisory Service. You’ll be paired with a team that is constantly checking stock portfolios and that will rebalance your investments when they’re out of whack with your risk tolerance. Fees were less than 1 percent last year (so if you’ve earned 7 percent to grow your investment to $53,500 after a year, you’d be charged $535). You can find help for less, thanks to hybrid models. For one, Vanguard Personal Advisor Services charges just 0.3 percent of your balance, because you’re paired with a team rather than a sole adviser, and computer algorithms handle some of the work. Check in biannually to see how your money is faring. “If you’re checking too often,” says Keller, “it will drive you bonkers and raise your stress.”

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“The biggest mistake I see is people thinking they have to build up a ton of money to start investing,” says Keller. “That’s backward— invest now to build your money.”

How you invest could depend on how much dough you have on hand.

Many mutual funds have a $1,000 minimum, while the cost of buying company stock is all over the map: Apple trades for about $160 at press time, while a stock at a tech startup might cost $10. Here’s how to spread your money and risk around, no matter how much you have.

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BAL ANCE

Be the Boss of Your Year-End Review T H I S A N N U A L C H E C K- I N C A N O F T E N F E E L F R A U G H T — A F T E R A L L , I T ’ S O N E D AY T O D I S C U S S T H E PA S T 3 6 4 . H E R E ’ S H O W T O L E A D T H E C O N V E R S AT I O N , N O M AT T E R W H AT S I T UAT I O N YO U ’ R E I N .

By Kathleen M. Harris

1

You want to set the stage for a raise or promotion.

First, find out when these decisions are made. Often it’s when budgets are decided, which doesn’t always correlate with review season. You want to get clear on exactly what your boss expects you to do to prime yourself for a promotion. Ask for specifics, says Jodi Glickman, founder of the leadership development and communication training firm Great on the Job and author of the book by the same name. Say, “I’m proud of my contributions this past year and feel I’ve grown and developed in these ways. I’d love to be in a position to talk about a promotion in the next six months. What needs to happen for me to get there?” Be prepared to speak about your successes and areas for development. Emphasize your team contributions to convey that the company benefits from your work, too. “Remember, no one can knock you for having the desire to grow,” says Glickman.

100 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

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BAL ANCE

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You’re stuck in a rut or want to explore new opportunities.

When you’re not in line for a promotion but want new challenges, take the initiative to ask for them. Don’t frame it as a complaint, says Glickman.

Instead, ask your boss for help reaching some personal goals, whether it’s being exposed to more senior-level execs, learning to code, or improving your public speaking. She recommends saying, “I like what I do and feel I have more to contribute. I’d love an opportunity to stretch and take on a new project or work with other people to continue to challenge myself.”

Self-awareness is key. “The worst thing you can do is be surprised. It gives the impression that you don’t know what’s going on with you or your work,” says Glickman. The second worst? Being defensive. Own it and say, “Here’s how I’m trying to make it better.” Then sit patiently and listen. “Give your boss a chance to explain the problem from her point of view so she feels heard,” says Grenny. Digest the info and paraphrase it back. “It shows your boss that fixing the issue is more important than your ego,” he says.

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You have a new boss or want to improve your relationship.

A review is a great opportunity to discuss work styles and expectations—topics that aren’t always easy to broach during a hectic workday, says Glickman. Ask, “How can I make your life easier?” or “How can I help you achieve your goals?” Use the time to understand your boss’s idiosyncrasies, says Joseph Grenny, coauthor of Crucial Conversations. Ask if she prefers to be updated constantly or only when there’s a problem, and if she could give examples of employees she loved and hated working with—and explain why.

5

You plan on quitting or retiring.

Job hunting? Unless you have an offer in hand, stay mum.

You don’t want to cloud your review—and run the risk of being replaced before you want to be. If you have a trusting relationship with your boss, Grenny suggests saying, “I’m looking at a variety of options for my future, but I’m interested in your feedback and finding out if there’s a path for me here that aligns with my career goals.” She may be able to open doors you’ve never considered.

As for retirement, if you’re sure of your plans, explain that your goal is a smooth transition.

Express your affection for the company and ask to meet again to discuss next steps.

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BAL ANCE

M a k i n g I t Wo r k

What product or routine makes you most effective on the job and at home?

“I have a treadmill desk in my home office. A few years ago, I had just gotten a Fitbit, and I thought, ‘I’m an active person,’ but by 3 in the afternoon, I had only done 300 steps.

I started a gym membership but had trouble fitting sessions into my schedule.

Finally, I went online and found a treadmill made specifically for a standing desk. Now I usually get 20,000 steps in a day. I’ve had it for three years and can’t imagine life without it.”

LISA SEACAT DELUCA , 35, IBM DISTINGUISHED ENGINEER IN BALTIMORE

“My husband and I run our business together, and we also have an 8-year-old, so our digital calendar is paramount.

Every Sunday afternoon, my husband and I sit down and schedule all the things we need to do socially or as a family on a digital calendar system.

It has color coding to sort events related to work and an integrated calendar that helps us coordinate our son’s events.

Whether it’s a school performance or an exercise appointment, we have it synced.”

KATHLEEN SCHAFFER, 47, CHEF AND FOUNDER OF SCHAFFER, A LOS ANGELES–BASED EVENT AND HOSPITALIT Y BUSINES S

“Running with my dogs. I have written prescriptions for patients to get a dog.

It has never failed to turn around what they might perceive as a lousy life. Some days, the last thing I want to do is go out the door and jog 2 miles, but once I’m out there with my four dogs and I see what fun they are having, I just can’t help feeling energized.”

STEVEN GUNDRY, 67, HE ART SURGEON AND DIRECTOR OF THE INTERNATIONAL HE ART AND LUNG INSTITUTE IN PALM SPRINGS, CALIFORNIA

“I use a wheeled briefcase instead of carrying shoulder bags. Before, I was often switching between a shopping bag and a tote and was always worried about not having a particular document or tape measure.

A wheeled briefcase enables me to have a centralized location for my essentials, and I don’t get a shoulder ache anymore. We talk about work-life balance, but it’s about wellness, too.”

JOY MANGANO, 61, INVENTOR AND ENTREPRENEUR BASED IN ST. JAMES, NE W YORK , AND AUTHOR OF INVENT ING JOY

“I set my phone to beep every 25 minutes to remind me to get up and stretch and grab some water.

I used an app in the past, but now I just schedule it into my calendar. I’m an active guy but found myself thinking, ‘I don’t know why my back hurts today or why my hips are so tight.’ It makes a big difference to build better hygiene around that stuff day-to-day.”

PEDRAM SHOJAI, 42, WELLNES S CONSULTANT AND D O CTOR OF ORIENTAL MEDICINE IN IRVINE, CALIFORNIA

For five genius email hacks to boost productivity, go to realsimple.com/emailhacks.

104 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

Illustration by Andrea Mongia

F R O M L E F T : C O U R T E S Y O F I B M ; L O G A N F A H E Y ; C O U R T E S Y O F S T E V E N G U N D R Y ; B R YA N K A S M , H S N ; C O U R T E S Y O F P E D R A M S H O J A I

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BAL ANCE

11 Little Ways to Know If You’re Fit YO U D O N ’ T H AV E T O B E A S U P E R AT H L E T E T O B E I N G O O D S H A P E . FA R I N G W E L L A T T H E S E BA SIC FITNE SS TE STS (NO GYM NEEDED) C A N H E L P YO U L I V E YO U R ST RO N G E ST L I F E.

By Kelly Mickle

I l l u s t r a t i o n s b y L a n Tr u o n g

You take breaks hauling groceries and can’t touch your toes. But you kill it in cycling class, and the scale number has stayed pretty steady for a while. It gets you thinking: Are you really in decent enough shape for a woman your age? “The occasional out-of-breath moment, ache, or pain isn’t an automatic sign you’re out of shape,” says Gary Liguori, PhD, dean of the College of Health Sciences at the University of Rhode Island. “Being fit is a larger picture made up of your strength and stamina and whether the combination of these lets you live your best life.”

There are four key measures to look at when evaluating your fitness level: muscle strength and endurance, aerobic fitness, body composition, and flexibility. “We tend to fixate on weight, but basic competency in these areas is a more meaningful measure of health because it enables you to stay active and do more of what you love for longer,” says Pete McCall, a personal trainer and spokesperson for the American Council on Exercise in San Diego.

Putting just a little extra effort into each category can benefit your well-being, from lowering your heart disease and cancer risks to boosting memory and even slowing the skinaging process (yes, please). Turn the page to see how you rate, and learn a few easy ways to improve.

NOVEMBER 2017 REAL SIMPLE

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BAL ANCE

TEST 1

Muscle strength and endurance Muscle mass is a better predictor of longevity than your body mass index (BMI), a long-term study in The American Journal of Medicine showed. “The more muscle mass you have, the faster your metabolic rate is,” says Keith Baar, PhD, a professor in the Department of Physiology and Membrane Biology at the University of California, Davis—and, in turn, the lower your risk for obesity and diabetes, he explains.

“And being stronger means you’re better able to walk, breathe, and just live a more independent life.”

WHY IT MAT TERS:

PUSH-UP

V E RT I C A L J U M P

Begin in plank position, with palms flat on the ground, shoulder-width apart. Contracting abdominal muscles, bend arms and slowly lower yourself toward the floor, then push yourself back up. (Beginner modification: Keep knees on the ground and cross ankles.)

Repeat as many times as you can with good form.

DO IT:

DO IT:

For women under 40, the average is 8 to 12 regular push-ups or 19 modified pushups. For women 40 and over, the average is two to five regular push-ups or 10 modified ones.

SCORE IT:

Stand next to a wall and touch it as high as you can without jumping. Mark the spot with a sticker or piece of tape.

Then jump as high as you can and touch the wall again, marking a second spot. Measure the distance in between.

A distance of 8 to 14 inches between marks is considered average for women under 40, and 6 to 10 inches for those 40 and over. (Fun fact: The Guinness World Record for a vertical jump is an incredible 5.3 feet.)

SCORE IT:

“Consistent strength training that involves your legs, like squats or step-ups while brushing your teeth, can help you improve your jump,” says McCall.

GET BET TER:

Practice makes perfect. Struggling to do even a modified push-up? Start standing, says Baar. Place hands shoulder-width apart on a desk or counter, then step back three or four feet, holding a plank.

Lower chest until it touches the desk, then return to the starting position. Do as many reps as you can. Once you’ve mastered this move, graduate to the modified and full versions.

GET BET TER:

110 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

SIDE PL ANK

SIT TING-RISING TEST

Lie on right side with legs extended, hips and feet stacked on the ground. Prop torso up with right elbow aligned directly under shoulder. Contract abdominals and lift hips off the floor, maintaining a straight line with your body; hold as long as you can. Repeat on left side.

From a standing position, lower yourself into a seated position on the ground. Try not to lean on anything for support.

Then try to stand back up without using hands or maneuvering to knees or shins first.

DO IT:

In general, holding for 45 to 60 seconds is average for women under 40; 30 to 45 seconds is average for those 40 and over. “The longer you can hold the pose, the stronger your core and lower back are,” says McCall. Keep in mind that while being stronger on one side is normal, “the imbalance can make you more vulnerable to back pain,” he says.

SCORE IT:

Try the move with knees bent on the ground and slowly work up to straightening your legs as your core gets stronger. Aim for 15-second holds, then 30, until you can make it a full minute.

GET BET TER:

DO IT:

Each method of support you use (a hand or knee, for example) deducts a point on a 10-point scale; in a large study in the European Journal of Preventive Cardiology, each one-point increment was associated with a 21 percent lower risk of mortality from all causes.

SCORE IT:

“Simply being mindful of using all your muscles when you get up and down off the floor or couch throughout the day can really make a difference,” says McCall.

GET BET TER:

BAL ANCE

TEST 3

Body composition WHY IT MAT TERS: Everyone has fat. But having too much—particularly visceral fat, which sits deep within the belly area—can raise risks for heart disease, diabetes, and certain cancers. “BMI is often used to calculate body fat, but it doesn’t account for muscle or bone,” says Liguori. These may be more accurate indicators.

TEST 2

Aerobic fitness WHY IT MAT TERS: “Cardiovascular fitness—also known as our VO2 max—is our maximum rate of oxygen use, which essentially tells us how efficient we are at using oxygen to make energy,” says Baar. “The more efficient we are, the faster we can recover from exercise, and the better the overall health of our heart.”

WA I S T C I RC U M F E R E N C E

B O DY VO LU M E I N D I C ATO R

Wrap a tape measure around your body, level with your belly button. Take a breath and exhale—then check the number on the tape measure.

BVI is a new measurement, developed in collaboration with the Mayo Clinic and other research institutions, that IDs risk factors associated with a person’s shape by looking at weight and total body fat distribution, with a focus on the abdomen. Find out yours using the BVI Pro app (free to download on iOS devices). Enter your vitals, plus two full-body photos, and the program will create 3-D “slices” of your figure to determine your BVI.

DO IT:

A waist circumference below 35 inches for women is ideal. Anything more than that has been associated with an increase in health problems.

SCORE IT:

You can’t spotreduce fat, so devoting hours to sit-ups won’t change your waistline. The way to lose fat from all over (including belly fat) is to burn more calories than you take in through a healthy diet and exercise, says Liguori.

GET BET TER:

1-MILE TEST

3-MINUTE STEP TEST

Timing yourself with a stopwatch, walk (or run) a mile as fast as you can.

DO IT: Step up and down on a 12-inch stair, bench, or box for three minutes, keeping a steady 4/4 time (up, up, down, down) at a pace of 96 beats per minute.

DO IT:

Finishing in 16 minutes or less is above average if you’re under 40, or 17 minutes or less if you’re 40 or over.

SCORE IT:

Aim to walk briskly enough that you can talk but not sing for 30 minutes a day, even if it means breaking this up into two 15-minute bouts. Need extra motivation? People who can walk 2.25 miles per hour or faster tend to live longer than those who stroll more slowly, a study from the University of Pittsburgh found.

GET BET TER:

112 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

When you’ve finished, find your pulse and count the number of beats in 60 seconds.

Rest for one minute, then check again. The faster your heart rate drops, the better shape you’re in. Averages (after the rest period) are 104 to 110 beats per minute (bpm) for women ages 26 to 35; 107 to 112 bpm for women 36 to 45; and 113 to 118 bpm for those 46 to 55.

SCORE IT:

GET BET TER: Take the stairs.

“It seems small, but taking advantage of little opportunities for activity does add up,” says McCall.

DO IT:

The app will present your BVI as a number between 1 and 20; it will help you break down on-screen what that number may mean for your personal health.

SCORE IT:

Got feedback that you should slim your middle?

Keeping a food journal can double your weight loss success, according to a study from the American Journal of Preventive Medicine. Apps with nutrition info and even food barcode scanning capabilities make it easy to monitor your diet. Our no-cost favorites: Lose It! and MyFitnessPal.

GET BET TER:

it’s time for some

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Chat with your eye doctor and feel the love at

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l

BAL ANCE

TEST 4

Flexibility WHY IT MAT TERS: Not only is being stiff uncomfortable, but it can also lead to injury and make it harder to bend, reach, and do activities you enjoy. “Stretching and working on flexibility loosens tissues and relieves tight muscles, giving us more freedom of movement,” says Michele Olson, PhD, an exercise physiologist at Huntingdon College in Montgomery, y Alabama.

SIT AND REACH

OV E R H E A D S Q UAT

S T R A I G H T- L EG R A I S E

Sit on the floor facing a wide step, legs straight in front of you and feet flat against the step. Stack hands at the end of the step and slowly reach forward as far as you can, holding for a slow count of three. Mark the farthest horizontal spot you can touch. Use a ruler to measure the distance from the edge of the step.

DO IT:

Slowly lower into a squat while keeping back as straight as possible and arms raised next to ears; see if you can get thighs parallel to the ground, as if you were sitting in a chair.

DO IT:

DO IT:

Repeat three times; choose the farthest distance as your final score. Average is about 18 inches.

SCORE IT:

Throughout the day— say, whenever you’re on a work call, suggests Liguori—stand and put your foot on a chair with your leg straight. Bend forward from your hips until you feel a stretch in your hamstring. Hold for 30 seconds, then switch sides.

GET BET TER:

You may find you are more flexible on one side than the other.

Stretch your less flexible side to correct any imbalance.

114 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

“Aim to get through the movement at least once without losing proper form,” says McCall.

(It’s harder than it looks!) If you can’t squat all the way, it can be a signal of tight muscles. But it may also have to do with a lack of muscle memory; you may not be used to using your hips and shoulders to their full range of motion, he adds.

SCORE IT:

Standing and interlocking your fingers behind your back for 30 seconds is a solid stretch for shoulder mobility.

“If they don’t touch, try holding a towel,” says Liguori. Develop hip flexibility by taking standing breaks and doing 15 hip circles (think of using a Hula-Hoop) in each direction a few times a day.

GET BET TER:

Lie on your back, legs outstretched, toes pointing up.

Keeping left leg straight on the ground, raise right leg and see how high you can lift it and how long you can hold it while keeping it straight. Switch sides.

As with the side plank, you may find you are more flexible on one side than the other. Regularly stretch your less flexible side to correct any imbalance.

If you can get your leg to a 30-degree angle and hold it there for 30 seconds, you’re above average. “Ideally, you want to reach the same height and time on both sides,” says McCall.

SCORE IT:

Sitting too long and often is a recipe for hip flexor tightness. “Stretch your hip flexors with step-ups and lunges to improve strength and mobility in one leg at a time,” says McCall.

GET BET TER:

Get wise on whether diet or exercise is better for your health goal at realsimple.com/dietexercise.

s Don’t let your dry eye symptoms interrupt the things you love to do.

Eyelove is not letting dry, itchy, gritty eyes or occasional blurry vision get in your way. And it’s talking to your eye doctor, because it could be Chronic Dry Eye. The things you do every day, like keeping up with your favorite shows, driving, or working, can be affected by Chronic Dry Eye. And it may get worse over time. If you think your eyes are feeling different than they should, it’s important to find out what’s really going on with them.

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Ahhh...

When we slow down and deepen our breathing, we have the opportunity to stimulate our parasympathetic nervous system, sometimes called our “rest and digest” system.

A very simple technique to bring our breath and mind in sync is to experience the breath moving as deeply as is comfortable. Sitting up tall so there is space for the breath, feel it as it flows into the lungs. No need to strain to breathe deeply—just let the breath go where it wants. And then observe the breath as it leaves the body. Again, no need to force the breath out. Without rushing, continue to breathe this way. You might find that the breath is very happy to deepen all on its own. This easy depth is profoundly soothing.

J O N ATA N H E D B E R G / S T O C K S Y

— E D WA R D J O N E S , w h e e l a n d a x l e . n e t

NOVEMBER 2017 REAL SIMPLE

117

E A S Y A S ...

Is there any dessert so personal, so forgiving, and so open to experimentation? Real Simple’s BIG GE ST-E VER GUIDE TO PIE S

lets you take the lead. Riff on a family recipe, discover a new tradition, or put your own spin on a store-bought pie. There’s only one rule: If it’s imperfect, you’ve got it just right.

R EC I P E S BY

D awn Perr y

P H OTO G R A P H S BY

Johnny Miller

NOVEMBER 2017 REAL SIMPLE

119

See recipe, page 125

B A S I C P I EC RU S T ACT I V E T I M E : 10 M I N U T E S TOTA L T I M E : 2 H O U R S , 10 M I N U T E S MAKES ENOUGH FOR 2 S I N G L E - C R U ST P I E S O R 1 D O U B L E - C R U ST P I E

2

cups all-purpose flour 1 Tbsp. sugar 1 tsp. kosher salt 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, chilled and cut into -in. pieces

–

cup ice water

flour, sugar, and salt in a food processor and pulse to combine. Add butter and pulse until most of the butter is the size of peas, about 20 times. Drizzle in 2 tablespoons ice water and pulse to combine. Continue, adding 1 or 2 tablespoons ice water at a time, until dough just comes together when squeezed in the palm of your hand (it should be pretty sandy).

COMBINE

dough out onto the counter and divide into 2 piles. Transfer 1 pile to a large sheet of plastic wrap.

Use the plastic wrap to gather dough together, using your knuckles to help press dough into a disk. Wrap tightly with plastic and repeat with remaining pile of dough. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours or up to 3 days (or freeze for up to 1 month).

DUMP

HOW TO

MAKE THE CRUST

BY H A N D

F O O D S T Y L I N G B Y R E B E C C A J U R K E V I C H ; P R O P S T Y L I N G B Y G L E N P R O E B S TA L ; I L L U S T R AT I O N S B Y J A N I C E W U . P R E V I O U S S P R E A D : M . C R O W PA R I N G K N I F E

Fear Not the Pastry S TA RT W I T H A L I G H T TO U C H To avoid overworking the dough, use a fork to gently mix the water into the butter-flour mixture until it just starts to stick together.

THEN BE FIRM BUT GENTLE Dump the shaggy mixture onto plastic wrap and use your knuckles to press the dough, rotating and pressing until it’s mostly stuck together.

SEAL THE DEAL Wrap up the dough (a circle or square is OK) and give the packet a few presses on top and the sides to compress together.

BY N A O M I D U G U I D am sometimes shocked by how easy it is to feel intimidated in the kitchen. Some people fear bread making; for others, the idea of improvising is terrifying. Those fears can seep into us, paralyzing us, sometimes even before we’re aware of ourselves as cooks. At least that’s what happened to me with pastry. I remember my English-born grandmother, who lived in a log cabin in northern British Columbia, Canada, and cooked on a wood stove, saying dismissively, “The pastry’s tough,” about the crust on her delicious treacle tart. This point seemed to matter to her, though I didn’t understand what she was talking about, because her tart was delicate and wonderful. And I sometimes heard my mother say admiringly of a friend, “She has such a light touch with pastry!”

All this added up to a minefield. I internalized the impossibility of making good pastry, for it clearly required an inherent talent.

And of course I was sure I didn’t have such a thing. If my mother, who was a wonderful natural cook, was intimidated by pastry, how could I ever imagine making it myself?

When I started work 15 years ago on the pastry chapters in HomeBaking, the cookbook I coauthored with Jeffrey Alford (who avoided the pastry section altogether), I realized I had to change my attitude. By then, after years of trying to persuade cooks to be unafraid of flatbreads and rice, I understood that cooking fears were in our minds and that they could (and should) be vanquished with hands-on practice and experimentation.

I used the trial-and-error method to teach myself pastry.

That is, rather than believing in the mystique, I decided not to worry about failure and instead experiment. I consulted books to get ideas, and then I worked by feel rather than precise measurement. I made pastry with butter only, with lard, with a blend of the two. I used cream cheese and butter in combination, a foolproof method. I made French-style pâte sucrée, a much better choice when your filling is very liquid. I loved the fraisage— smearing—technique that you use to blend the butter and egg into the flour. I learned that adding an egg rather than water to moisten the dough is a kind of insurance when using wholewheat or rye flour for pastry.

I discovered that there are many kinds of excellent pastry, that whole-wheat flour can make a delicious piecrust, that grating chilled butter (a technique suggested by Jane Grigson in her Fruit Book) is the easiest way to make pure-butter pastry. But most important, I learned that “absence of worry” is the single best ingredient in pastry making.

NAOMI DUGUID IS THE AUTHOR OF EIGHT CO OKBO OKS, INCLUDING BURMA AND TASTE OF PERSI A.

No time for the rolling pin? Check out our favorite press-in crusts at realsimple .com/cookiecrust.

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PRO TIP Always bake pies on the bottom rack.

The heat radiating off the bottom of the oven will help ensure a crisp, golden brown crust.

All pies need time to set up in order to achieve tidy slices. For the best results, let them cool for at least 4 hours or overnight.

C O C O N U TCASHEW PIE

C R A N B E R R YS T R AW B E R RY C RU M B P I E

BROWN BUTTER & VA N I L L A PEAR PIE For pie recipes, turn the page.

GET AN EDGE Use a fork, a spoon, or fingers to shape a homey crimped crust.

For something fancier, snip dough at 1-inch intervals and fold every other section in toward the center. Brush with beaten egg for a shiny finish.

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BROWN BUT TER & VA N I L L A P E A R P I E ACT I V E T I M E : 3 0 M I N U T E S TOTA L T I M E : 2 H O U R S , P LU S C O O L I N G SERVES: 8

cup (1 stick) unsalted butter 2

lb. pears (about 5), peeled, cored, and chopped 2 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, and chopped 3 Tbsp. all-purpose flour, plus more for rolling 1 Tbsp. pure vanilla extract tsp. kosher salt cup sugar, plus more for sprinkling 2 disks Basic Piecrust

PREHEAT oven to 350°F with rack in lowest position. Melt butter in a medium skillet over medium heat, swirling until golden and nutty smelling, 3 to 4 minutes.

Pour into a bowl and let cool.

C O C O N U TCASHEW PIE

TOS S pears, apples, flour, vanilla, salt, brown butter, and cup sugar in a large bowl.

out 1 disk of piecrust on a lightly floured work surface to about 14 inches in diameter.

Place in a 9-inch pie plate; trim dough to a 1-inch overhang. Fill crust with pear mixture. Roll out remaining disk to about 12 inches in diameter and lay over pears. Fold top edge over and tuck under bottom edge; crimp edge as desired. Cut a few vents in the top and brush with beaten egg. Sprinkle with about 1 tablespoon more sugar and freeze for 15 minutes.

ACT I V E T I M E : 1 5 M I N U T E S TOTA L T I M E : 9 0 M I N U T E S , P LU S C O O L I N G SERVES: 8

ROLL

on bottom rack until deep golden brown and juices start bubbling through the cracks, 60 to 75 minutes. Let cool for at least 4 hours before slicing.

BAKE

1 disk Basic Piecrust All-purpose flour, for rolling cup dark brown sugar cup light corn syrup 3 Tbsp. unsalted butter, melted

F AT M AT T E R S We like an all-butter crust for its unmatched rich flavor, but you can use an equal amount of shortening (or leaf lard if you can find it) in its place.

2 large eggs 1 tsp. pure vanilla extract tsp. kosher salt 1

cups roasted unsalted cashews, chopped cup coconut chips

PREHEAT oven to 325°F with rack in lowest position. Roll out piecrust on a lightly floured work surface to about 14 inches in diameter; place in a 9-inch pie plate. Using your fingers, tuck overhang under so crust just covers the lip of the plate. Crimp edge and freeze for 15 minutes.

WHISK together brown sugar, corn syrup, butter, eggs, vanilla, and salt until evenly combined.

Scatter cashews and coconut chips over crust and pour brown sugar mixture over top, tilting plate so it settles evenly.

on bottom rack until crust is golden and filling is set in the middle, 50 to 60 minutes. Let cool for at least 4 hours before slicing.

BAKE

P R E V I O U S S P R E A D : W I L L I A M S - S O N O M A F I R E K I N G G L A S S P I E D I S H ; W I L L I A M S - S O N O M A W S S T O N E WA R E P I E D I S H

1 large egg, lightly beaten

C R A N B E R R YS T R AW B E R RY C RU M B P I E ACT I V E T I M E : 2 0 M I N U T E S TOTA L T I M E : 2 H O U R S , P LU S C O O L I N G SERVES: 8

1 disk Basic Piecrust All-purpose flour, for rolling 12 oz. fresh or frozen cranberries 12 oz. frozen strawberries cup sugar

The Worst Pies in New York

cup cornstarch tsp. kosher salt Crumb topping cup all-purpose flour cup sugar tsp. ground cinnamon tsp. ground ginger Pinch of kosher salt cup ( stick) unsalted butter, softened oven to 350°F with rack in lowest position. Roll out piecrust on a lightly floured work surface to about 14 inches in diameter; place in a 9-inch pie plate. Using your fingers, tuck overhang under so crust just covers the lip of the plate. Crimp edge and freeze for 15 minutes.

PREHEAT

cranberries, strawberries, sugar, cornstarch, and salt in a large bowl. Transfer to frozen pie shell and return to freezer.

TOS S

make the crumb topping: Combine flour, sugar, cinnamon, ginger, and salt in a medium bowl. Add butter and use your fingers to work it into dry ingredients until clumps form. Remove pie from freezer, scatter crumb topping over fruit, and place pie on a rimmed baking sheet. Bake until crust and topping are golden brown and fruit is bubbling, 75 to 85 minutes. Let cool for at least 4 hours before slicing.

I L L U S T R AT I O N S B Y J A N I C E W U

MEANWHILE,

BY A L E X A N D E R C H E E he pies my mother made when I was a child are clear in my mind, both my favorites and the ones I never cared for—apple, of course, spicy with cinnamon, at one end, and mincemeat, which I endured but never liked as well as she did, at the other.

In between was blueberry, usually served in the summer, with blueberries we picked for her from the marshy hills near our town’s dump, in Cape Elizabeth, Maine, where the bushes grew thick and the berries were darkly sweet. And strawberry and strawberryrhubarb. The pies were a family effort: We prepared them together, cutting the apples into half-moons or pinching the tops of the strawberries and twisting them to remove the stems. We ate our first slices at dessert, before fighting over them as they grew smaller, engaging in a sort of bureaucracy of pie. My mom will still stand in the kitchen with a slice in the morning and say, with a grin, “My uncle always said you could have pie for breakfast.”

As she grew older and we moved out, my mother left off cooking pies as much. Soon my brother began to insist on doing it himself when he returned home. He showed up one holiday with his own pie plate, like a DJ with a turntable, and proceeded to make a truly fantastic apple pie. But when I returned to my New York City kitchen and tried to recall how the crusts were made, I drew a blank. While my mother had taught me many recipes, she never showed me how to make her perfect piecrust or a filling.

I tried, on my brother’s example, to make my own, following a stranger’s instructions in some cookbook exactly. But my crust, while golden brown, was as thick as a wallet, and the filling runny.

So I have taken to making easy crimped galettes and fruit crumbles, but inevitably each of them only reminds me that I do not know the true method for making a pie. Only this summer did I discover the magic of tapioca, which dries out the fruit just enough that the filling does not become a fruit sloppy joe.

I could chalk up the talent for pie to being like carrying a tune—that is, something I can do that my brother and my mother cannot, though their pies do sing.

But I think the better, more fun thing for me to do is to finally ask her to reveal all her secrets and see if she’ll tell them to me.

ALE XANDER CHEE IS THE AUTHOR OF T WO NOVEL S, EDINBURGH AND THE QUEEN OF THE NIGHT.

NONSTICK TRICK Use a stainless bench scraper or large-headed spatula to loosen the dough periodically as you roll to prevent it from sticking to your (lightly floured) work surface.

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THE JACKSON POLLOCK Drizzle or splatter melted chocolate (milk, dark, white) over the cooled pie.

How to Dress Up a Pie USE ONE OF THESE FIVE EASY IDEAS TO B E A U T I F Y A S T O R E - B O U G H T P U M P K I N P I E — O R S AV E O N E T H AT C R A C K E D W H I L E C O O K I N G.

ADD VOLUME No one will care where the pie came from if the whipped cream is homemade.

For every cup of heavy cream, add 1 tablespoon of confectioners’ sugar and a splash of vanilla extract, and beat until soft peaks form. Serve alongside the pie or dolloped on top.

Chocolate shavings optional.

U P C YC L E Use a cookie cutter to punch out leaves or other autumn shapes from your dough trimmings (make small multiples or one big cutout). Brush with egg, sprinkle with cinnamon sugar, and bake at 350°F on a parchmentlined baking sheet until golden brown.

Lay gently over the top of your pie.

GO CLASSIC FRENCH Sprinkle with granulated sugar and broil until sugar has deeply browned. Let cool for a crackly crème brûlée effect.

THE GOLDEN TOUCH Top with homemade meringue and pop under the broiler for about a minute until golden.

SOUR CREAM RAISIN

Pies for the Homesick F O U R W R I T E R S O N T H E F A M I LY R E C I P E S T H E Y C A N ’ T Q U I T.

t was always there, spinning endlessly in the Wisconsin diner pie cases of my youth: sour cream raisin pie. Sometimes, seasonally, there would be sour cream raspberry or sour cream strawberry. But as befits a cold place, the dried-fruit version reigned.

I never ordered it as a kid. It seemed stuffy and old-fashioned, a relic from days when winters in America’s Dairyland meant pies filled with cream from the farm, dried fruit...and not much else.

But the older, and more homesick, I get, the more I’m drawn to this Northwoods specialty.

A sour cream custard laced with cinnamon and studded with raisins—I’ve heard it called Midwestern buttermilk pie. That’s not quite right, though. It’s more luscious, more decadent. It’s often topped with whipped cream or a tower of meringue; less frequently, it’s served in warmed slices on the brink of separation, in a loose, almost indecent slurry of dairy and fruit.

I make it for Thanksgiving now, swapping the raisins for (Wisconsin grown!) dried cranberries.

The cinnamon gives it enough holiday accent to sit next to its apple and pumpkin cousins on the buffet, and it’s unique without being nontraditional.

It’s home for the holidays, if just for dessert.

PAUL A FORBES IS A FO OD WRITER. HER FORTHCOMING BO OK THE AUST IN C O OKBO OK WILL BE PUBLISHED IN THE SPRING.

WILLIAMS-SONOMA 10-PIECE GL AS S MIXING BOWL SET

B y Pa u l a Fo r b e s

B L U E B E R RY

I L L U S T R AT I O N S B Y J A N I C E W U

By Kaitlyn Greenidge

COCONUT CREAM

y mother is a supremely confident cook. The best dishes she makes are her pies. Sweet potato, apple, and that New England specialty, blueberry, are where her work shines.

The afternoon before Thanksgiving, all the women in my family gather at her house. We were all initiated into her kitchen by learning first how to make a piecrust. This lesson begins early: My nieces started at age 2; I think I was 4. She shows us how to mince the butter with flour in a bowl, how to flatten it with a 30-year-old yellowing plastic rolling pin, and how to lay the crust in the bottom of a glass pan, fill it with sugared and thawed blueberries, top with generous pats of butter, and cover it all with another grand cape of pastry.

The best part, though, is that she lets the children play with the scraps of raw piecrust. Today my niece, ever the sensible one, makes mini blueberry pies with hers. But when I was young, the greatest Thanksgiving treasure was the discards of pie dough, rolled flat and dusted with cinnamon, cooked in the bottom of the oven, and gobbled at midnight, just as the turkey was finally dressed.

By Sara Austin

K AITLYN GREENID GE IS THE AUTHOR OF WE LOVE YOU, CHARL IE FREEMAN.

y great-grandmother Alma didn’t leave behind photos. Her wedding dress has disintegrated into shreds of old silk.

But her cream pies are forever.

There are no secret ingredients here. Sugar, eggs, scalded milk— Great-Grandma was cooking on a farm in turn-of-the-century Macon, Georgia, so she had no need to get fancy. Armed with Alma’s recipes and a double boiler, my mother and grandmother magicked these basics into chocolate, banana, and coconut cream pies. I loved the coconut best, flavored with vanilla and lemon, finished in the oven with a fluffy meringue, and refrigerated as long as your patience holds out.

Alma’s daughter would marry a man raised in a cabin in Tennessee. Their daughter would settle in Maryland. Her daughter—me— would make a home in a cramped apartment in New York. There are 130 years and nearly 1,000 northward miles between my greatgrandmother’s life in Macon and mine in Manhattan, but for an afternoon, this pie unites us.

LEMON MERINGUE

By Mimi Sheraton

o matter how many exquisite and exotic pies I have been lucky enough to try, none invoke nostalgia as much as the lemon meringue pie that my mother made. A great cook and baker who was also adept at apple, peach, and plum pies, she considered this lemon meringue her signature. It was present at every special occasion and expected of her at the home dinner parties she was invited to.

Based on a recipe from the label on cans of Eagle Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk, she added more lemon zest and made her crisp, buttery, short piecrust for the base. My father was proud of the

golden peaks she always maintained on the meringue.

It was these memories that inspired me to include it in my book 1,000 Foods to Eat Before You Die. I have made it often, never forgetting the way my mother looked working in the kitchen, her serious demeanor as she beat the whites, and the sigh of satisfaction from everyone lucky enough to share her refreshingly piquant dessert.

MIMI SHERATON IS A FO OD CRITIC AND THE AUTHOR, MOST RECENTLY, OF 1,0 0 0 FO ODS TO E AT BEFORE YOU DIE.

SARA AUSTIN IS THE E XECUTIVE EDITOR OF RE AL SIMPLE.

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design around your dishes We gave four experts a single plate and a challenge: to create a pretty, pulled-together table for party season.

Let their ideas inspire you.

By STEPHANIE SISCO Photographs by SANG AN

130 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

St yled by B eth Flatley

Modern “A WHITE PLATE PROVIDES THE PERFECT CANVAS FOR A NEUTRAL, SCANDINAVIAN-INSPIRED TABLE.” — CAMILLE ST YLES, FOUNDER OF CAMILLEST YLES.COM

Natural elements and layers of texture elevate a neutral color scheme, while warm wooden accents prevent it from seeming stark. If you choose to add in color, keep it simple with just one shade (like aqua or yellow). Create a centerpiece of artfully arranged woodland accents, such as pinecones, faux antlers, and feathers, and finish off each setting with a mini wreath and place card.

T O B U Y: PL ATE: Swedish Grace dinner plate, $22; jungleeny.com.

FL AT WARE: Wood handle flatware, $4 each;

worldmarket.com.

CHEESE BOARD: Large cheese stone, $195;

farmhousepottery.com.

STRIPED NAPKIN: Gray striped chambray fringe napkins,

$40 for 4; pehrdesigns.com.

TABLECLOTH: Threshold natural linen kitchen

tablecloth, from $22; target.com.

BOWL : Beechwood peasant bowl, $225; farmhousepottery.com.

ANTLERS: Faux taxidermy white antler decor, $35;

nearanddeer.etsy.com.

STRIPED CUP: Groove cup, $49; instagram.com/awaysaway for info.

BLUE PL ATE: Coupe Salad plate in aqua, $29;

heathceramics.com.

LINEN NAPKIN: Olivier napkins, $95 for 4; pompomathome.com.

TEAK CANDLEHOLDER: Medium teak tea light holders,

$65 for 2; dearkeaton.com.

WOODL AND TREE: Woodland tree, from $24;

farmhousepottery.com.

Organic “DON’T DOWNPLAY THIS DISPOSABLE DINNER PLATE. INSTEAD, HIGHLIGHT IT WITH A ‘PLANT LADY’ THEME.” —EMMA CHAPMAN AND ELSIE L ARSON, SISTERS AND COAUTHORS OF A BEAUTIFUL MESS WEEKDAY WEEKEND COOKBOOK

Combine burlap, raw wood, and terra-cotta accessories with jewel-toned glassware, cutlery, and linens to create an enchanting garden-inspired tablescape. These items don’t all have to match—an eclectic assortment enhances the relaxed, boho feel. Go wild with a runner of greenery and autumnal blooms, using the leftovers to make flower crowns and boutonnieres for your guests.

T O B U Y: PL ATE: Bambu fancy plates, $14 for 8; bambuhome.com.

FL AT WARE: Kip & Co 24-piece fruits-of-the-forest mixed

cutlery set, $289; kipandco.com.

PL ACE MAT: Preserved boxwood place mat, $34;

shopterrain.com.

CUP: Bubble glass tumbler, $14; shopterrain.com.

NAPKINS: Hudson Grace linen napkins in pear and barn-

wood, $18 each; hudsongracesf.com.

NAPKIN RING: SIN napkin ring in terra-cotta, $12;

virginiasin.com.

PL ACE CARD HOLDERS: Wooden slice place card holders,

$16 for 4; shopterrain.com.

FLORAL PL AT TER: Wildflower series square platter,

$198; shopterrain.com.

132 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

Preppy “YOUR PASTEL DISHES BECOME UNEXPECTEDLY SEASONAL WHEN COMBINED WITH FALL FRUIT AND GREENERY.” —ROXY TE, FOUNDER OF SO CIET Y SOCIAL

A color scheme of peach, pink, and soft green is a break from traditional holiday colors.

Ground your design with a few more saturated items, like a piece of burnt orange pottery and a patterned napkin. Incorporate classic elements with a twist: A whitewashed charger and dip-dyed flatware make the arrangement feel more contemporary.

Fairy-tale pumpkins (find them at your local grocery or nursery) make a charming centerpiece; add dusty green eucalyptus and in-season fruits to complete the look.

T O B U Y: PL ATE: Hue green dinner plate, $6; crateandbarrel.com.

FL AT WARE: Jaipur cutlery set in off-white, $86 for

5 pieces; canvashomestore.com.

CHARGER: Wood-grain chargers in gray,

$30 for 4; surlatable.com.

NAPKINS: Palette linen napkins, $34 for 2; leifshop.com.

CANDLEHOLDER: Betty pink tea light candleholders,

$18 for 6; cb2.com.

VASES: 3-piece Amici vase set, $17; cb2.com.

IMAGE: Feast Your Eyes by Brittany Wright, $20; amazon.com.

BOWL : Flared bowl medium in pink, $51;

us.mudaustralia.com.

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Classic “BALANCE OUT THE FORMALITY OF A TRADITIONAL PATTERNED PLATE WITH SOME LAID-BACK ELEMENTS.” —NICOLE GIBBONS, INTERIOR DESIGNER

Enhance a simple blue-and-white color scheme with metallic touches, like gilded flatware and gold-rimmed chargers. To keep traditional dinnerware from feeling ultra formal, pair it with more casual items, like fringed napkins and clean-lined, modern glasses. Skip napkin rings and place cards altogether and instead blanket the table with soft candlelight and milky white blooms (choose anemones with a dark center for drama and contrast).

T O B U Y: PL ATE: Mottahedeh blue lace dinner plate, $90;

williams-sonoma.com.

CHARGER: Nevaeh White by Fitz and Floyd Grand Rim dinner

plate in gold, $16; bedbathandbeyond.com.

CHAMPAGNE FLUTE: Elin wineglass, $13;

crateandbarrel.com.

FL AT WARE: Malmo gold 5-piece place setting, $90;

katespade.com.

CANDLEHOLDER: Cobalt blue votive holders,

$4 for 4; jamaligarden.com.

POSTCARDS: Rinne Allen postcards, $20 for 11;

sugartoolsshop.com.

ENVELOPE: The Maryn stationery collection for Dempsey

& Carroll, $55; themaryn.com.

136 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

Learn how to build a beautiful centerpiece at realsimple.com/ arrangements.

Farm director James Hunter with farmhands Darciea Houston and TiYanna Wright at WE Over Me farm. Opposite page: Trays of squash, eggplant, zucchini, and cucumbers at the farmers market.

fa r m sc ho o l On the verge of closing its do ors, a struggling colle ge in Texas calle d a desp eration play: It cut its fo otb all pro gram and turne d the field into a farm inste ad. A de cade later, the de cision has transforme d an entire communit y.

BY

Laura B eil

P H OTO G R A P H S BY

Jo dy Hor ton

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Clockwise from top left: WE Over Me’s market; Wright sorts through a haul of peppers; Houston holds up a tomato; Wright and Houston pick peppers.

When Paul Quinn College was founded in 1872, it was the first

institution of higher learning for African Americans west of the Mississippi River—a historic achievement. For more than a century, the school fostered a proud tradition. One graduate became a theater director and producer during the Harlem Renaissance, helping to launch the careers of black actors during the mid-20th century. Another alumnus was elected to the Texas legislature.

In 1990, the campus moved from its original location in Central Texas to Dallas and boasted 1,000 students. But the coming decade brought deterioration to both academics and fiscal stability. Income dried up. Enrollment plummeted (it would eventually drop to 151), and most students didn’t graduate. Yet through it all, there was football. The Paul Quinn Tigers kept playing, and in 2002 the team finished with a rare winning record.

At its lowest point, in 2007, the college hired Michael Sorrell, a 40-year-old lawyer with no experience in higher education, to become its fifth president in five years. No one else wanted the job. “We were losing students left and right because, frankly, everybody thought the school wasn’t going to make it,” says Sorrell.

When he arrived on campus, 13 buildings sat vacant, moldy, and crawling with mice. In his first week, he began slashing expenses, including the football program. Some alumni objected—no football? in Texas?—but it would save the school about $1 million a year.

With no players and no games, the football field sat empty. Then one afternoon in the fall of 2009, Sorrell recalls, he had lunch with Trammell S. Crow, a Dallas philanthropist who would go on to found what is reportedly the country’s largest Earth Day celebration. Sorrell lamented that the community around the school, like many lower-income neighborhoods, was a food desert with no grocery store for miles. Residents depended on convenience stores and fast food.

The conversation turned to whether there was a place on campus that could accommodate a garden. “I said, ‘Absolutely!

We could put it on the football field!’ ” says Sorrell.

From the moment the idea struck him, Sorrell realized that a farm could change Paul Quinn’s entire narrative. Problem was,

“If we were going to fail, we were going to fail doing things that mattered to the people we cared about.”

the school didn’t have an agriculture program. Staff members had never raised more than houseplants. The job of planting crops fell primarily to a faculty member with an economics degree; she started Googling. Sorrell remembers skeptics dismissing the effort as a publicity stunt. “All we had was a willingness to fail,” he says.

“And if we were going to fail, we were going to fail doing things that mattered to the people we cared about.”

But this isn’t a story of failure.

It was shor tly after this time that Darciea Houston drove her ailing Ford Escort onto the campus to decide whether to enroll.

She immediately wanted to turn around. She didn’t like the sense of foreboding that came over her when her car lurched up the driveway and passed through the iron gate. But it had taken her more than an hour to make the trip across Dallas County, down side streets, nursing a vehicle that at the time couldn’t top 35 miles an hour. She finally told herself, “Just go in. You came this far.”

This was in 2012, and she had come far indeed. After growing up in the Midwest in the 1980s, she moved to Texas, where her father lived, shortly before her high school graduation. In the years that followed, she married young and started her own business while raising three children and attending community college.

She planned to pursue a degree in nutrition at Texas Woman’s University, about an hour and a half drive from her house in the Dallas suburbs. Then her car blew its timing belt.

Without the means to make repairs, she searched for colleges closer to home. Paul Quinn popped up on her screen. And then it dawned on her: She had once lived at the school’s doorstep. In those years, she saw weedy grounds and buildings with broken windows and thought it was an abandoned apartment complex.

But on that first visit, Houston met a recent alumna working in the admissions office. “She had nothing but great things to say—and it wasn’t something that she was just regurgitating,” she recalls.

“You could tell that she had experienced joy.” What Houston did not know then was that the school was in the midst of a renewal.

From the time the first crops were planted until today, the school’s fortunes have turned around. Annual deficits of $1 million have turned into six- and seven-figure surpluses. Enrollment has climbed to more than 500 students, with a waiting list for still more. A new residence hall is scheduled to open in 2020—the first building renovation in decades. The crumbling structures are gone. And while there is a chapel on campus to nurture the soul, the farm, called WE Over Me, has become a spiritual anchor of another sort.

For instance: In 2011, city officials proposed increasing the amount of garbage at a nearby landfill. Paul Quinn students, inspired to protect their campus and its neighborhood, rallied at city hall with signs reading GROCERIES NOT GARBAGE and WE ARE NOT TRASH, and eventually the garbage was sent elsewhere.

—Michael Sorrell, president of Paul Quinn College

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The farm has grown to include a 3,000-square-foot greenhouse, beehives, and about 60 different crops. The college hired farm director James Hunter in 2015. He arrived passionate about organic farming, community engagement, and working with students.

“When I tell people this is my dream job, I’m not kidding,” he says.

Hunter plants not only traditional favorites, such as purple hull peas, radishes, and tomatoes, but also more exotic offerings, such as tetragonia (a New Zealand spinach) and poona kheera (succulent yellow cucumbers from India). About 10 percent of the harvest is donated to the local food bank. The rest is in demand from some of Dallas’s most notable chefs, including those at Wolfgang Puck’s Five Sixty.

The biggest customer is Legends Hospitality, the company that serves AT&T Stadium, where the Dallas Cowboys play. Sorrell likes to joke that the school has sent far more kale to the NFL than it ever did players. But it did send at least one player—sort of. George Wasai attended in the 1980s, when it was Bishop College, which later closed and became the site of Paul Quinn College when it moved to Dallas from Central Texas. He went on to become director of Legends’ food and beverage service. When he heard that vegetables were growing on the ground where he once kicked field goals, he drove down and offered to buy some of the produce.

In the early days, he and his staff offered planting suggestions and even helped with some of the farm labor.

The stadium now receives about 12,000 to 15,000 pounds of produce each year from the WE Over Me farm; during football season, the chefs might call in a 100-pound order of greens every game day. “If you’re at the stadium, there’s a very good chance that the vegetables you are eating came from Paul Quinn,” says Wasai.

This past summer, Paul Quinn met a new milestone. The cam-

pus began hosting a farmers market every Thursday afternoon to make it easier for local residents to buy fresh produce. I arrived one day just as the booths were being set up and found Hunter unloading sacks of freshly picked squash and radishes and cartons of eggs from the chicken coop that now sits just past the end zone.

The farm gate now bears a picture of the new mascot, Spike the Touchdown Tomato. The bleachers were demolished to make room for the greenhouse, but the goalposts and scoreboard remain.

At the old concession stand, a dry-erase board maps out the locations of crops. Each quadrant is referred to as a down. In the third down, rows of peppers shine in the afternoon sun.

Working at the market that day was TiYanna Wright, a senior psychology major from Los Angeles. She learned about Paul Quinn and the farm at a college fair. The farm wasn’t the sole reason she moved to Texas, but the idea of it made her curious. Growing up, she had rarely seen produce outside a grocery store or restaurant.

Wright took a farm job as her work-study choice, showing up on

142 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

her first day in the August heat wearing black sweatpants and long sleeves. Shortly thereafter, she stepped in a fire ant mound while pulling up old peavines and had to scramble to peel off her sock and shoe. Her bare foot landed in a bed of sharp sticker burrs. Not one to shy away from a challenge, Wright came back the next day, and the next. The more she worked, the more she realized that digging the dirt, pulling weeds, and watching plants grow brought her a sense of purpose and peace. Most days she leaves her cell phone behind. “You hear that?” she asked me, listening to the sound of birds, wind, and cicadas. “That’s what I love about this place.”

Sophomore Chandler Taylor-Henry came to Paul Quinn from Jackson, Mississippi, to major in business entrepreneurship, dreaming of owning a ranch one day. He walks to the farm nearly every afternoon to work. “It allows me to get away from class and the stresses of being a college student,” he says. “It’s meditation, basically. A lot of students come down just to clear their heads.”

D arciea Houston, who did enroll that day in 2012, also found

her sanctuary among the plants. She grew up playing outside with cousins, and she has felt a connection to the outdoors her entire life. After graduating from Paul Quinn, she was offered a job in the admissions office. Given her approachability and Hollywood smile, she was good at the job. But she felt so smothered under the fluorescent lights, she would walk outside whenever she could.

Finally, she left her office job to become lead farmhand as she pursues graduate studies in integrative health. “I can come out here and see every kind of bird,” she told me. “I’m finding spiders that are beautiful. I don’t even like spiders!”

Students seek her out when they have troubles. She’ll walk with them among the fragrant rows of plants and remind them of things that ground them: Here, girl, smell this rosemary. “I feel that I’ve been able to receive and give back because of people pouring into me here,” she says. She understands the joy she saw in the admissions office five years ago, because now it is hers.

Two years ago, the school expanded its mission and partnered with a charter school for elementary and middle school students on campus, Trinity Environmental Academy, to use the farm as a teaching tool. Clarice Criss, who lives nearby and operates smaller urban farms, has seen the children when she visits the campus to buy vegetables. “Watching their eyes light up as they touch a chicken for the first time—that’s something you don’t get to see every day, especially in an urban, low-income community,” she says.

Sorrell has an even bigger vision: that the farm might one day become self-supporting and include a restaurant. (“No one ever accuses me of swinging small,” he says.) Never mind whether anyone on campus has ever run a restaurant; they know that anything is possible as long as you’re willing to fail. “It’s difficult to overstate how important the farm is,” he says. “It has emotionally, intellectually, and physically helped transform our community.”

Clockwise from top left: Trays of tomatoes; Houston holds one of the farm’s chickens; just-picked peppers; Hunter carries produce on the farm.

THE

SC ENT OF YOUR

DREAMS Ever wish you could bottle the feeling of going to a tropical island or a cozy cabin in the woods? These transporting new fragrances do just that.

Choose your own adventure and enjoy a mental escape.

B y H E AT H E R M U I R M A F F E I Photographs by GENTL & HYERS

144 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

St yled by Angharad Bailey

A TROPICAL ISL AND The latest catch of beachy scents doesn’t smell like coconut or baby sunscreen.

F I N D YO U R M ATC H

Glossier You ($60; glossier.com) is infused with iris and musk and smells like warm skin— but better. If white florals like jasmine and tuberose are more up your alley, reach for Gucci Bloom Eau de Parfum ($124; macys.com) so you can dream about wearing a lei in Hawaii without the jet lag. With Tom Ford Neroli Portofino Acqua Eau de Toilette ($155; sephora.com), you’ll get unexpected whiffs of lemon and amber: Close your eyes and you’re exploring the Italian Riviera.

A COZ Y C A B I N If a spot in front of a crackling campfire sounds like your happy place, you’ll fall in love with these sultry, smoky blends.

F I N D YO U R M ATC H

With clove and chestnut, unisex Maison Margiela Replica By the Fireplace ($126; sephora.com) will remind you of thawing out after a day on the slopes.

Elizabeth and James Nirvana Amethyst Eau de Parfum ($85; sephora.com) marries tobacco with honeysuckle for a spicier scent. Love the smell of leather?

Go with Bottega Veneta Eau de Velours ($118; nordstrom.com), which has patchouli.

A V I N E YA R D These earthy, fruity scents evoke sun-soaked wine country.

Rosé season starts...now.

F I N D YO U R M ATC H

Chloé Absolu de Parfum ($115; sephora.com) is your classic rose with a moody hint of patchouli. Clean Reserve Citron Fig ($95; sephora.com) has a sexy duo of sandalwood and cedar plus a kick of lemon, fig, and ginger (think a crisp white).

Prefer a fruity scent?

Jo Malone London English Oak & Redcurrant Cologne ($135; jomalone.com) pairs tangy red currant with warm roasted oak. Coach Eau de Toilette ($92; ulta.com) is the sweetest scent, with juicy pear, mandarin, and lychee.

NOVEMBER 2017 REAL SIMPLE

147

A ROMANTIC CIT Y Is a Parisian bakery more your scene? Indulge in one of these addictive gourmet scents.

F I N D YO U R M ATC H

If popcorn and chocolate sounds like your dream dessert, give Givenchy Eaudemoiselle de Givenchy Romantic ($150; sephora.com) a whirl.

More of a sorbet craver?

You’ll love Prada Candy Gloss Eau de Toilette ($96; sephora.com), with cherry and almond. If you want the sexiness of the city without the sweet, Obsessed Calvin Klein for Women ($94; macys.com) has a punch of lavender and sage. A sucker for vanilla? Annick Goutal Nuit et Confidences ($190; us.annickgoutal .com) will make you swoon. Pepper balances it out, so it’s not too sugary.

UP YOUR FR AGR ANCE GAME MAKE IT L AST 1

3 PUL SE POINTS 4 2

“Fragrance oils blossom when they are warm,” explains Erika Shumate, cofounder of Pinrose, “which is why we apply fragrance to warmer spots on the body.” Patti Kapla, fragrance expert at Fragrance.com, agrees: “Concentrate on the wrists, inside the elbows, the nape of the neck, even the creases behind your knees.

The perfume will react with your body temperature and emit scent throughout the day.”

MOISTURIZED SKIN

N E W W AY S T O W E A R I T S P R I T Z I N G A N ATO M I Z E R F E E L S G L A M O R O U S , B U T I T ’ S N OT A LWAYS P R A C T I C A L .

THESE FOUR NEW FORMS WERE MADE FOR WOMEN ON THE MOVE.

“Fragrance lasts longer when skin is hydrated, so put it on after you shower or layer it over unscented lotion or oil,” recommends Shumate.

1.

2.

3.

4.

HAIR

GEL

OIL

HAIR PERFUME

POWDER

Jo Loves Fragrance Paintbrush Gel in Pomelo ($55; sephora.com). Click the base, then paint this scented gel onto skin (it’s as soothing as it sounds). It dries in seconds and is great for travel.

Viktor&Rolf Flowerbomb Rose Twist ($69; sephora.com). Dab the concentrated oil onto pulse points.

Wear alone or layer with your fave floral.

Tocca Hair Fragrance in Giulietta ($28; tocca.com). This lightweight hair mist contains moisturizing oils for a lingering scent and a pretty sheen.

Byredo Bal d’Afrique Kabuki Perfume ($65; byredo.com).

Inspired by brushes used by Japanese actors, these retractable bristles house a fine powder that you sweep onto skin.

“Spray it onto a brush before running it through your hair. Spraying it onto hair directly can dry hair out,” says Kapla.

C LOT H E S

“Line your drawers with scent strips from magazines or spray tissue paper,” suggests Kapla. Or spritz a cotton ball and throw it into your drawer.

THE BEST PL ACE TO STORE IT It’s tempting to display bottles on your vanity, but if you want your juices to last, that’s not the ideal place, especially if it gets direct sunlight. Kapla recommends keeping your bottles in a cool, dry spot away from windows, since sunlight can mess with ingredients. That means the bathroom is out, unfortunately.

Better places: atop a dresser away from windows (set them on a cake stand), a cool linen closet, or even a coat closet so you remember to mist after putting on your jacket. Another tip: Keep unopened bottles in their boxes until you’re ready to use them; that will extend their shelf life. “Once open, most fragrances are good for about two years after their production date,” says Kapla.

NOVEMBER 2017 REAL SIMPLE

149

IF YOU CAN PULL OFF CRUNCHES ON A GIANT BOUNCY BALL

YOU PAM PULL OFF BREAKFAST WITH LESS BUTTER AND OIL Get perfect portion control with PAM Spray Pump made with extra virgin olive oil. No artificial preservatives, colors or flavors, plus the superior non-stick you love. ©Conagra Brands, Inc. All rights reserved.

N OV E M B E R

G A B R I E L B U C ATA R U / S T O C K S Y

Why do the hours become so busy just as the days grow shorter? While we haven’t yet solved that mystery of the universe, we have packed these pages full of time-savers. Hosting company? Our cheesy breakfast casserole will please a crowd (page 170). Headed to a potluck? Bring a loaf of buttery cornbread—or pour the dry mix into a mason jar and gift it to the hostess (page 164). For all the weeknights in between, try our lighter options, such as a chickpea salad and an Asian-inspired rice bowl, starting on page 155.

CO OK WITH COZI Get Real Simple’s easy weeknight-dinner recipes in Cozi, a free meal-planning and organizing app from Time Inc. (available for iOS and Android).

151

ADVERTISEMENT

A SWEET WAY TO START THE MORNING There’s no better way to wake up a full house than with the delicious aroma of freshly-baked cinnamon rolls. With easy-to-follow steps and Fleischmann’s RapidRise Yeast, this recipe gets breakfast to the table in no time. ®

®

FLEISCHMANN’S BEGINNER’S CINNAMON ROLLS INGREDIENTS 4 1/2 to 5 cups all-purpose flour 1/3 cup sugar 2 packets Fleischmann’s® RapidRise Yeast 1 teaspoon salt 1 1/2 cups water 6 tablespoons butter OR margarine 1 egg

FILLING 1/3 cup sugar 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon 3 tablespoons butter OR margarine, very soft FROSTING 2 1/2 cups powdered sugar 2 tablespoons butter OR margarine, softened 2 to 3 tablespoons milk 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1. PREP O

O

O

O

O

Combine 2 cups flour, sugar, dry yeast, and salt in a large mixer bowl and stir until blended.

Place water and butter in a microwave-safe bowl. Microwave on HIGH in 15 second increments until very warm but not hot to the touch (120° to 130°F. Butter won’t melt completely).

Add to flour mixture with egg. Beat 2 minutes at medium speed of electric mixer, scraping bowl occasionally.

Add 1 cup flour; beat 2 minutes at high speed, scraping bowl occasionally. Stir in just enough remaining flour so that the dough will form into a ball.

Knead on lightly floured surface until smooth and elastic and dough springs back when lightly pressed with 2 fingers, about 6 to 8 minutes. Cover with a towel; let rest for 10 minutes.

For filling, combine sugar and cinnamon in a small bowl. Set aside.

2. ASSEMBLE Roll dough into a 15 x 10inch rectangle using a rolling pin. Spread 3 tablespoons butter over dough, stopping at least 1/2-inch from the edges on the long sides. Sprinkle with cinnamon sugar mixture.

O Beginning at long end of each rectangle, roll up tightly. Pinch seams to seal.

O

3. SLICE & BAKE Cut into 12 equal pieces.

Place, cut sides down, in greased 13 x 9-inch baking pan.

O Cover with towel; let rise in warm place until doubled in size, about 1 hour.

O Bake in preheated 350ºF oven for 25 to 30 minutes or until rolls are golden brown.

O Cool on wire rack for at least 20 minutes.

O

4. FINISH O

Combine all frosting ingredients (start with 2 tablespoons milk and add more if needed) in a large bowl and beat until creamy.

Spread over rolls.

DISCOVER THE FLEISCHMANN’S® DIFFERENCE AT WWW.BREADWORLD.COM

a homemade taste THEY CAN’T RESIST. Fleischmann’s makes it easy.

Beginner’s Cinnamon Rolls Find delicious recipes at www.BreadWorld.com

©2017 ACH Food Companies, Inc.

®

This year, focus your feast on something everyone around the table can enjoy— herbivores, carnivores, and even vegan and gluten-free guests.

Fill your glasses with Tito’s!

For recipes and more visit titosvodka.com

FOOD

Easy Dinner 1

Pan-roasted chicken with braised apple and cabbage ACTIVE TIME 20 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 35 MINUTES

SERVES 4

One Pot Gluten-Free Family Friendly

8 bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs (about 3 lb.)

2

tsp. kosher salt, divided

1

tsp. black pepper, divided head green cabbage, shredded (about 8 cups) 1 Tbsp. fresh thyme leaves cup apple cider 1 sweet-tart apple, such as Pink Lady, cored and sliced 2 Tbsp. apple cider vinegar 1 Tbsp. unsalted butter 3 Tbsp. torn fresh parsley

PREHEAT

oven to 450°F.

a large cast-iron skillet over medium-high. Season chicken with teaspoon 1 teaspoons salt and pepper. Cook chicken, skin side down, until browned and crispy, 5 to 7 minutes. Flip and cook 2 minutes more. Transfer chicken to a plate.

HEAT

ADD cabbage and thyme to skillet and cook, tossing, until cabbage starts to wilt, about 3 minutes.

in apple cider and place chicken, skin side up, over cabbage mixture; scatter apple around chicken.

STIR

skillet to oven and cook until chicken is cooked through, 10 to 15 minutes. Remove from oven and transfer chicken to a plate.

Add vinegar, butter, and remaining teaspoon 1 teaspoon salt and pepper to cabbage mixture and toss until butter melts. Serve cabbage mixture with chicken, topped with parsley.

TRANSFER

P E R S E RV I N G : 563 CALORIES, 32G FAT (10G SAT.), 2,67MG CHOL., 5G FIBER, 47G PRO., 21G CARB., 1,429MG SOD., 14G SUGAR

Recipes by Adam Dolge

Photographs by Greg DuPree

NOVEMBER 2017 REAL SIMPLE

155

FOOD

Easy Dinner 2

Soy-honey glazed fish and rice bowl ACTIVE TIME 30 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 30 MINUTES

SERVES 4

Quick Cooking Healthy Pick Gluten-Free Family Friendly

1 cup long-grain white rice cup honey 2 Tbsp. tamari 2 Tbsp. olive oil, divided 1

lb. swordfish, cut into 1-in. pieces tsp. kosher salt tsp. black pepper red onion, thinly sliced 4 heads baby bok choy, halved lengthwise cup fresh cilantro leaves and tender stems cup chopped roasted, salted peanuts Lime wedges, for serving

rice according to package directions; keep warm.

COOK

MEANWHILE, stir together honey and tamari in a small bowl; set aside.

HEAT 1 tablespoon oil in a large nonstick skillet over high. Season fish with salt and pepper and cook, undisturbed, until browned on 1 side, about 2 minutes. Turn fish, add onion, and cook, tossing gently, until fish is browned and cooked through, about 4 minutes. Transfer to a plate.

ADD remaining 1 tablespoon oil and bok choy to skillet. Cook, undisturbed, until golden, about 2 minutes. Reduce heat to medium-low, add honey mixture, and immediately cover skillet.

Cook until sauce thickens slightly and bok choy is tender, about 2 minutes. Serve fish and bok choy over rice, topped with cilantro and peanuts, with lime wedges on the side.

P E R S E RV I N G : 599 CALORIES, 22G FAT (4G SAT.), 97MG CHOL., 2G FIBER, 37G PRO., 63G CARB., 627MG SOD., 19G SUGAR

156 RE AL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

PARTYMASTER

®

Gluten-free crackers crafted for your lifestyle. Find them in the deli and “better for you” cracker aisle. Get recipe ideas at Crunchmaster.com

FOOD

Easy Dinner 3

Sheet pan beef tenderloin with brussels sprouts and shallots ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 50 MINUTES (INCLUDES STANDING)

SERVES 4

Gluten-Free Family Friendly

1

lb. beef tenderloin 3 Tbsp. olive oil, divided 2 tsp. kosher salt, divided 1 tsp. black pepper, divided 1 lb. brussels sprouts, trimmed and halved 2 large shallots, chopped 1 Tbsp. whole-grain mustard 1 Tbsp. red wine vinegar 1 Tbsp. Worcestershire sauce

1

tsp. pure maple syrup

PREHEAT oven to 425°F. Let beef stand at room temperature for at least 10 minutes or up to 1 hour. Rub with 1 tablespoon oil and season teawith 1 teaspoons salt and spoon pepper; place on a rimmed baking sheet.

brussels sprouts and shallots with 1 tablespoon oil and remaining teaspoon salt and teaspoon pepper. Arrange around beef. Roast until vegetables are slightly tender, 12 to 15 minutes. Increase temperature to broil.

TOS S

turning beef every 2 to 3 minutes, until vegetables are lightly charred and beef reaches an internal temperature of 128°F to 130°F for medium rare, 10 to 12 minutes.

Remove from oven. Loosely tent with foil. Let rest for at least 10 minutes before slicing.

BROIL ,

WHISK together mustard, vinegar, Worcestershire, syrup, and remaining 1 tablespoon oil. Drizzle over beef and vegetables.

P E R S E RV I N G : 576 CALORIES, 42G FAT (14G SAT.), 105MG CHOL., 5G FIBER, 33G PRO., 15G CARB., 1,200MG SOD., 6G SUGAR

158

RECIPE FOR WONDERFUL REC RECI R ECI EC CP PE FO OR R WON WONDE OND O N NDERFUL RFU FUL

TM

RIGATONI WITH SILENCED SMARTPHONES

Always al dente, always perfect.

We saved you a seat. Find out more at Barilla.com/DreamDinnerParty

FOOD

1 cup quinoa

Easy Dinner 4

cup white balsamic vinegar or white wine vinegar tsp. black pepper

Chickpea, arugula, and pickled carrot salad ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 30 MINUTES SERVES 4

Quick Cooking Healthy Pick Make Ahead Whole Grain Vegetarian

160 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

1 tsp. kosher salt, divided

quinoa according to package directions; set aside.

COOK

MEANWHILE, whisk

vinegar, pepper, teaspoon salt in a large bowl. and Add carrots and let stand 15 minutes.

cup olive oil, divided

oven to 400°F. Brush pitas on 1 side with 1 tablespoon oil and season with za’atar or thyme; place, seasoned side up, on a baking sheet and bake until crisp, 5 to 7 minutes.

tsp. za’atar or dried thyme

DRAIN

3 large carrots, shaved into ribbons 2 pitas, split horizontally

5 oz. baby arugula 1 15.5-oz. can chickpeas, drained and rinsed cup roasted, salted pistachios, roughly chopped 2 Tbsp. chopped fresh dill 2 oz. feta cheese, sliced

PREHEAT

carrots, reserving cup pickling liquid. Transfer to a large bowl with arugula, chickpeas, and quinoa. Add reserved pickling liquid and remaining teaspoon salt; 3 tablespoons oil and toss to combine. Top with pistachios and dill and serve with cheese and pita.

P E R S E RV I N G : 637 CALORIES, 26G FAT (5G SAT.), 9MG CHOL., 13G FIBER, 21G PRO., 83G CARB., 1,079MG SOD., 14G SUGAR

© 2017 Landmark Vineyards, Kenwood, CA. All Rights Reserved. LANDMARK, OVERLOOK, the Stylized L, and the accompanying logos are trademarks of Landmark Vineyards or its affiliates. LV17230

WHEN YOU SOURCE FROM THE BEST CALIFORNIA VINEYARDS , EVERY YEAR IS YOUR BEST VINTAGE .

Making wines with perfectly balanced taste is our passion. In fact, we have spent over 40 years negotiating with the most acclaimed vineyards for the best grapes to blend award-worthy Chardonnays and Pinot Noirs. And while our wines are unique from one vintage to the next, one thing remains a constant—you’re getting the best of California in every bottle, every time.

©2017 Smithfield

Messy Moments.

Flavor is in the dishes you serve.

And the moments you make.

Cheers to a life lived flavorfully.

For recipes and holiday tips, visit smithfield.com

FOOD

Smithfield Holiday Corn Muffins with Bacon and Scallions PREP | 10 mins BAKE | 20 mins YIELD | 12 muffins For the full recipe, visit smithfield.com

Easy Dinner 5

Goat cheese and mushroom–stuffed acorn squash ACTIVE TIME 20 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 45 MINUTES

SERVES 4

Healthy Pick Vegetarian Family Friendly

3 Tbsp. olive oil, divided 2 acorn squash (about 2 lb. each), halved lengthwise, seeds removed

FOOD ST YLING BY CHEL SE A ZIMMER; PROP ST YLING BY CL AIRE SPOLLEN

1 tsp. kosher salt, divided tsp. black pepper, divided 8 oz. cremini mushrooms, trimmed and chopped 1 large shallot, chopped 5 oz. baby spinach 5 slices sandwich bread, cut into -in. pieces 4 oz. crumbled goat cheese, divided 5 oz. mixed greens 1 tsp. lemon juice PREHEAT

oven to 425°F.

1 tablespoon oil on cut side of teasquash halves; season with spoon salt and teaspoon pepper.

Place squash, cut side down, on a parchment-lined baking sheet; bake until slightly tender, 20 to 25 minutes.

Remove from oven; turn cut side up.

BRUSH

MEANWHILE, heat 1 tablespoon oil in a large skillet over medium-high.

Add mushrooms and shallot; cook, stirring occasionally, until tender, about 5 minutes. Add spinach; cook until wilted, about 1 minute. Season teaspoon with teaspoon salt and pepper. Remove from heat and fold in bread and cheese.

DIVIDE mushroom mixture among squash halves, return to oven, and bake until tender, 8 to 10 minutes.

Increase temperature to high broil. Broil until lightly browned, 3 to 5 minutes.

greens with lemon juice and remaining 1 tablespoon oil, teaspoon salt, and teaspoon pepper.

Serve salad with squash.

TOS S

P E R S E RV I N G : 470 CALORIES, 20G FAT (8G SAT.), 22MG CHOL., 17G FIBER, 16G PRO., 64G CARB., 791MG SOD., 3G SUGAR

NOVEMBER 2017 REAL SIMPLE

163

©2017 Smithfield

FOOD

Make It Yourself A D E L I C I O U S E SS E N T I A L T H AT’ S B E T T E R H O M E M A D E T H A N S T O R E - B O U G H T. W E ’ L L P RO V E I T. THIS MONTH: CORNBREAD MIX

By D awn Perr y

When it comes to whipping up freshly baked muffins and quick breads, we love the convenience of a boxed mix.

But we’re not crazy about the hydrogenated fats and preservatives that sometimes hide inside. So we came up with our own super-simple cornbread mix using ingredients you likely have on hand. Whisk together the dry ingredients today, following our recipe on the next page, and stash the mixture in the pantry for up to three months.

Then bake a fresh batch on Thanksgiving (or any) morning.

164 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

Photographs by Greg DuPree

Walnut Raspberry Salad with Raspberry Vinaigrette

California Walnuts

FOR THE BEST SIMPLE SALADS EVER For flavor, texture and heart-healthy* goodness, toss in chopped or toasted California walnuts. For these recipes and more visit Walnuts.org Per one ounce serving.

So Simple. So Good.™

*Heart-Check food certification does not apply to recipes unless expressly stated. See heartcheckmark.org/guidelines. Supportive but not conclusive research shows that eating 1.5 ounces of walnuts per day, as part of a low saturated fat and low cholesterol diet and not resulting in increased caloric intake, may reduce the risk of coronary heart disease. (FDA) One ounce of walnuts provides 18g of total fat, 2.5g of monounsaturated fat, 13g of polyunsaturated fat including 2.5g of alpha-linolenic acid – the plant-based omega-3.

Romaine Salad with Walnuts and Beets

Lemony Zucchini Salad with Walnuts

Kale, Apple, Pancetta and Walnut Salad

FOOD

ACTIVE TIME 5 MINUTES TOTAL TIME 15 TO 65 MINUTES (DEPENDING ON BAKING VESSEL) SERVES 12

1

cups all-purpose flour

1

cups stone-ground cornmeal cup sugar

1

Tbsp. baking powder 1 tsp. kosher salt tsp. baking soda

1

cups milk cup vegetable oil 3 large eggs

together flour, cornmeal, sugar, baking powder, salt, and baking soda.

Store in a tightly sealed container in a cool, dry place for up to 3 months.

WHISK

ready to bake, preheat oven to 400°F. Transfer mixture to a large bowl and whisk in milk, oil, and eggs until evenly combined. Pour batter into a lightly greased baking vessel and bake as directed below. Let cool slightly before serving.

WHEN

COOKING TIMES

Standard muffin tin (makes 15): 12 to 15 minutes

8-by-8-inch baking dish: 30 to 35 minutes 8 -by-4 -inch loaf pan: 55 to 60 minutes (tent with foil if browning too quickly) 10-inch cast-iron skillet: 25 to 30 minutes

166 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

FOOD ST YLING BY CHEL SE A ZIMMER; PROP ST YLING BY CL AIRE SPOLLEN

Mini muffin tin (makes 45): 10 to 12 minutes

SPICED MAPLE-WALNUT CHEESECAKE Prep Time: 30 min. | Total Time: 6 hours 40 min. | Makes: 16 servings (incl. refrigerating)

W H AT YO U N E ED 8 graham crackers 1 cup chopped PLANTERS Walnuts, toasted, divided 1/2 cup plus 2 Tbsp. packed brown sugar, divided 2 Tbsp. butter, melted 4 pkg. (8 oz. each) PHILADELPHIA Cream Cheese, softened 1 tsp. pumpkin pie spice 1 cup BREAKSTONE'S or KNUDSEN Sour Cream 1 cup maple syrup, divided 4 eggs 1/2 cup whipping cream

MAKE IT HEAT oven to 325°F. USE pulsing action of food processor to pulse graham crackers, 3/4 cup nuts and 2 Tbsp. sugar until mixture forms fine crumbs. Add butter; mix well. Press onto bottom of 9-inch springform pan. Bake 10 min.

BEAT cream cheese, pumpkin pie spice and remaining sugar in large bowl with mixer until blended. Add sour cream and 1/2 cup maple syrup; mix well. Add eggs, 1 at a time, mixing on low speed after each just until blended. Pour over crust.

BAKE 1 hour or until center is almost set. Run knife around rim of pan to loosen cake; cool before removing rim. Refrigerate cheesecake 4 hours.

BRING cream and remaining maple syrup to boil in medium saucepan on medium heat, stirring constantly. Simmer on medium-low heat 10 to 12 min. or until reduced to about 2/3 cup, stirring frequently.

Cool completely.

DRIZZLE maple-flavored sauce over cheesecake just before serving; sprinkle with remaining nuts.

Substitute: Combine 1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon, 1/4 tsp. ground ginger, and dash each of ground allspice and ground cloves; use instead of the pumpkin pie spice.

FOOD

R o a d Te s t

Thanksgiving Shortcuts

B E S T C R A N B E R RY S AU C E

Cucina Antica Cranberry Sauce This jar is packed with whole cranberries, fresh ginger, and orange zest.

TO BUY: $6 for 12 oz.; at Whole Foods.

THIS YEAR, WE’RE THANKFUL FOR S U P E R M A R K E T T I M E - S AV E R S. T H E S E P I C K S P R A C T I C A L LY M A K E T H E M S E LV E S — B U T TA ST E A S G O O D A S G R A N D M A’ S.

By Grace Elkus

BEST DIP

The Spice Hunter Organic Green Onion Dip Mix Unlike competitors, this garlicky dip rivals homemade. Mix with sour cream or yogurt and serve with crudités.

TO BUY: $2.50 for 0.9 oz.; at grocery stores.

B E S T P I E C RU S T

Mrs. Smith’s Deep Dish Pie Crusts This crimped crust begs for pumpkin filling.

It bakes to a golden finish and holds its shape, too.

TO BUY: $3.40 for 2; at grocery stores.

BEST CHICKEN STO CK

BEST BISCUIT

Mason Dixie Ready-to-Bake Frozen Biscuits Canned varieties didn’t stand a chance next to these buttery, flaky beauties. They bake from frozen—no need to thaw.

TO BUY: $8.50 for 6; at grocery stores.

168 REAL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

365 Everyday Value Organic Chicken Stock Rich and well seasoned, this stock lends flavor to stuffing, gravy, casseroles, and stews.

TO BUY: $2.30 for 32 oz.; at Whole Foods.

BEST STUFFING

Pepperidge Farm Herb Seasoned Cubed Stuffing Tasters loved the crispy edges and fresh-herb flavor. Dress it up with carrots, celery, and onion.

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PA C K A G E D P R O D U C T I M A G E S C O U R T E S Y O F M A N U F A C T U R E R S

realsimple ROAD TE ST

© 2017 The Coca-Cola Company. GOLD PEAK and THE TASTE THAT BRINGS YOU HOME are registered trademarks of The Coca-Cola Company.

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FOOD

Big Batch

Potato tot breakfast casserole ACTIVE TIME 15 MINUTES

TOTAL TIME 90 MINUTES

SERVES 8

1 lb. hot or mild breakfast sausage 1 yellow onion, chopped 1 red bell pepper, chopped 12 large eggs cup whole milk 1 Tbsp. hot sauce, such as Cholula tsp. kosher salt tsp. black pepper 1 32-oz. bag frozen potato tots 8 oz. Colby-Jack cheese blend (about 2 cups), divided 1 jalapeño, sliced

PREHEAT oven to 350°F. Heat a large skillet over medium-high.

Add sausage and cook, breaking it up with a wooden spoon, until browned, about 5 minutes.

Add onion and bell pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, until tender, 8 to 10 minutes.

together eggs, milk, hot sauce, salt, and black pepper in a large bowl. Arrange tots in an even layer in a lightly greased 3-quart baking dish. Top with 1 cup cheese and the sausage mixture. Pour egg mixture evenly over tots and top with remaining 1 cup cheese.

WHISK

BAKE until set in the middle, 50 to 55 minutes. Let stand 10 minutes before serving. Top with jalapeño and chives.

P E R S E RV I N G : 583 CALORIES, 37G FAT (14G SAT.), 347MG CHOL., 3G FIBER, 27G PRO., 31G CARB., 1,320MG SOD., 4G SUGAR

170 RE AL SIMPLE N OV E M B E R 2017

R e c i p e b y Pa i g e G r a n d j e a n Photograph by Greg DuPree

FOOD ST YLING BY CHEL SE A ZIMMER; PROP ST YLING BY CL AIRE SPOLLEN

Chopped fresh chives

The Struggle Is Real

I’m Letting This Magic 8 Ball Make All My Decisions B y R a q u e l D ’A p i c e

OK, first question: Is it all right that I sometimes let my child eat carrots and pita chips for dinner on nights when I’m exhausted?

“It is decidedly so.”

Wow, what a weight off my chest. I mean, I tell her I’m serving “root vegetables and Mediterranean food,” which sounds more socially acceptable. Not that I’m obsessed with social acceptance, but obviously I am because I keep painting our mudroom accent wall to get the approval of my neighbor who works in interior design. I don’t mind if people don’t think I’m perfect, but I just want them to look at my gingham shirtdress and my screenprinted tea towels and feel that deep within me there is something of value. Am I overthinking this?

“Reply hazy try again.”

Don’t worry about it. I’ve just been frantic since I quit my intellectually challenging job to stay home and take care of a 2-year-old. Is it normal to feel this much regret over giving up my career?

“Signs point to yes.”

“My reply is no.”

It is, right? It’s weird to be this grateful to a round piece of plastic I bought at Spencer’s, but I really needed to hear that. There are times when I’m like, “How did I give up a job that for over a decade was all I ever wanted?” (Except for a fulfilling relationship and enough money to shop at Eileen Fisher and also for that varicose vein to go away.) Am I also crazy to consider working insane hours to pay a stranger to watch my daughter?

“Without a doubt.”

172 RE AL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

OMG, you need to know that everything you’re saying is totally resonating with me right now. And while I totally get that you’re just a plastic toy-type thing made by Mattel, it’s such a huge weight off my shoulders to have someone validate my feelings. Also, will letting my daughter watch TV turn her into the type of person who ends up on a reality show?

Well, a reply to an article I read last night at 2 a.m. said it would, but I’m going with you because you’ve been around longer. While we’re at it, can my son grow up to be independent even if I couldn’t sleep-train him until 14 months?

“Yes definitely.”

I’m almost crying. I just never realized that half of parenting would be making decisions and the other half would be panicking that whatever decision you made was wrong, and really all I’ve wanted all these years was for someone to make them for me, even if that someone is a triangle floating in a ball full of dark blue liquid. While I have you, how does my hair look?

“Better not tell you now.”

You’re totally right. I don’t know why I thought I could pull off an asymmetrical haircut. I’ll have someone even it out, and then I’m going to try to get my old job back. I can’t thank you enough. OK if I check in with you the next time I feel like I’m at the end of my rope?

“You may rely on it.”

P h o t o g r a p h b y M a n f r e d Ko h

by invitation :: tipsntrends, inc :: 323-525-1700

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United States Postal Service 2017 Statement of Ownership, Management, and Circulation 1.

2.

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Publication title: Real Simple Publication number: 19143 Filing date: October 1, 2017 Issue frequency: Monthly Number of issues published annually: 12 Annual subscription price: $28.95 Complete mailing address of known office of publication: 225 Liberty St., New York, NY 10281-1008 8. Complete mailing address of headquarters or general business office of publisher: 225 Liberty St., New York, NY 10281-1008 9. Full name and complete mailing address of the publisher, editorial director, and chief content officer: PUBLISHER: Time Inc., 225 Liberty St., New York, NY 10281-1008; Rich Battista, President & CEO EDITORIAL DIRECTOR: Nathan Lump, 225 Liberty St., New York, NY 10281-1008 CHIEF CONTENT OFFICER: Alan Murray, 225 Liberty St., New York, NY 10281-1008 10. The owner is Time Inc. Lifestyle Group, 4100 Old Montgomery Highway, Homewood, AL 35209, which is a direct, wholly owned subsidiary of Southern Progress Corporation, 4100 Old Montgomery Highway, Homewood, AL 35209, an indirect, wholly owned subsidiary of Time Inc., 225 Liberty St., New York, NY 10281.

11. Known bondholders, mortgages, and other security holders owning or holding 1 percent or more of total amount of bonds, mortgages, or securities: To the best knowledge of Time Inc., the names and addresses of stockholders beneficially owning 1 percent or more of the common stock of Time Inc. as of March 31, 2017 (according to 13F filings with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission), are as follows: • BlackRock Fund Advisors, 400 Howard St., San Francisco, CA 94105-2228 • Fairpointe Capital LLC, One N. Franklin, #3300, Chicago, IL 60606 • The Vanguard Group Inc., 100 Vanguard Blvd., Malvern, PA 19355 • Dimensional Fund Advisors LP (U.S.), Palisades W., Bldg. One, 6300 Bee Cave Rd., Austin, TX 78746 • Omega Advisors, 810 Seventh Ave., New York, NY 10019 • State Street Global Advisors (SSgA), One Lincoln St., 27th Fl., Boston, MA 02111-2900 • Thrivent Asset Management LLC, 625 Fourth Ave., South Minneapolis, MN 55415-1624 • Renaissance Technologies LLC, 800 Third Ave., New York, NY 10022 • Schroder Investment Management LTD, 31 Gresham St., London, UK EC2V 7QA • J.P. Morgan Investment Management Inc., 270 Park Ave., 8th Fl., New York, NY 10017 • Bank of New York Mellon (BNY), 101 Barclay St., New York, NY 10007 • Goldman Sachs Group, 200 West St., New York, NY 10282 • Northern Trust Investments Inc., 50 S. LaSalle St., 4th Fl., Chicago, IL 60603 • Sammons Enterprise Group, 5949 Sherry Ln., #1900, Dallas, TX 75225 • BNP Paribas, 525 Washington Blvd., #600, Jersey City, NJ 07310 • Point72, 510 Madison Ave., New York, NY 10022 • Norges Bank Investment Management (Norway), Bankplassen 2, P.O. Box 1179, Sentrum, Oslo, Norway NO-0107 • TIAA-CREF, 750 Third Ave., New York, NY 10017 • Keeley Asset Management Corporation, 111 W. Jackson Blvd., #810, Chicago, IL 60604 • Morgan Stanley, 1585 Broadway, New York, NY 10036

12. Not applicable 13. Publication title: Real Simple 14. Issue date for circulation data below: September 1, 2017 15. Extent and nature of circulation: Average number of copies of each issue during preceding 12 months a. Total number of copies: 2,400,826 b. Paid circulation 1. Mailed outside-county paid subscriptions stated on PS form 3541: 1,562,762 2. Mailed in-county paid subscriptions stated on PS form 3541: 0 3. Paid distribution outside the mails, including sales through dealers and carriers, street vendors, counter sales, and other paid distribution outside USPS: 186,118 4. Paid distribution by other classes of mail through the USPS: 0 c. Total paid distribution: 1,748,880 d. Free or nominal-rate distribution 1. Free or nominal-rate outside-county copies included on PS form 3541: 295,896 2. Free or nominal-rate in-county copies included on PS form 3541: 0 3. Free or nominal-rate copies mailed at other classes through the USPS: 0 4. Free or nominal-rate distribution outside the mail: 7,433 e. Total free or nominal-rate distribution: 303,330 f. Total distribution: 2,052,210 g. Copies not distributed: 348,618 h. Total: 2,400,827 i. Percent paid: 85.2 percent Number of copies of single issue published nearest to filing date September 1, 2017 a. Total number of copies: 2,360,036 b. Paid circulation 1. Mailed outside-county paid subscriptions stated on PS form 3541: 1,539,948 2. Mailed in-county paid subscriptions stated on PS form 3541: 0 3. Paid distribution outside the mails, including sales through dealers and carriers, street vendors, counter sales, and other paid distribution outside USPS: 189,269 4. Paid distribution by other classes of mail through the USPS: 0 c. Total paid distribution: 1,729,217 d. Free or nominal-rate distribution 1. Free or nominal-rate outside-county copies included on PS form 3541: 321,310 2. Free or nominal rate in-county copies included on PS form 3541: 0 3. Free or nominal-rate copies mailed at other classes through the USPS: 0 4. Free or nominal-rate distribution outside the mail: 6,891 e. Total free or nominal-rate distribution: 328,201 f Total distribution: 2,057,418 g. Copies not distributed: 302,618 h. Total: 2,360,036 i. Percent paid: 84.0 percent 16. Publication of Statement of Ownership will be printed in the November 2017 issue of this publication.

17. Signature and date: Maria Beckett, SVP Finance (9/5/17) I certify that all information furnished on this form is true and complete. I understand that anyone who furnishes false or misleading information on this form or who omits material or information requested on the form may be subject to criminal sanctions (including fines and imprisonment) and/ or civil sanctions (including civil penalties).

NOTICE TO SUBSCRIBERS: In the event that we are unable to effect the delivery of your subscription to Real Simple for any reason beyond our control, our obligation is limited to the resumption of your subscription when we are able to do so. If we remain unable to resume delivery within 24 calendar months from the date of interruption, we will have no further obligation under your subscription agreement.

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Rituals

I use my collection of mismatched antique silverware at our Thanksgiving table. There’s a special ornate silver spoon from the early 1800s that I put at one place setting. Whoever gets it says what they’re most thankful for, and then we move around the table. The spoon tradition started back when my husband and I first hosted Thanksgiving, as a way for our large families to get to know one another. This will be the 23rd year.

—Terri Osteen Kurlan, Ripley, Tennessee

178 RE AL SIMPLE NOVEMBER 2017

HANOHIKI/GET T Y IMAGES

The Gratitude Spoon

IT’S MORE THAN A PIE. IT’S A LOVE LETTER.

SOME SAY, “I LOVE YOU.” SOME BAKE CAKE.