Aging Well
Trunk Show & Personal Appearance November 13-15
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Volume 30, Issue 794 • October 30-November 12, 2025
EDITORIAL
Managing Editor Noah Mitchell 612-461-8723
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Editor Emeritus Ethan Boatner
Contributors Lakey Bridge, E.B. Boatner, Natasha DeLion, Alyssa Homeier, Terrance Griep, Shane Lueck, Elise Maren, Mikah Meyer, Jen Peeples-Hampton, Linda Raines, Aspen Rush, Gregg Shapiro, Randy Stern, Susan Swavely, Natalie Trimble, Sommer Wagen, Carla Waldemar, Todd P. Walker, Emma Walytka, Spencer White
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Founders George Holdgrafer, Stephen Rocheford
Inspiration Steven W. Anderson (1954-1994), Timothy J. Lee (1968-2002), Russell Berg (1957-2005), Kathryn Rocheford (1914-2006), Jonathan Halverson (1974-2010), Adam Houghtaling (1984-2012), Walker Pearce (1946-2013), Tim Campbell (1939-2015), John Townsend (1959-2019), George Holdgrafer (1951-2024), Julie Dafydd (1951-2025)
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OUR LAVENDER | FROM THE EDITOR
BY NOAH MITCHELL
We’re Getting Older
I hate to spoil Ethan Boatner’s “A Word In Edgewise” column for this issue, but I’m going to, just a little bit. He opens with a reminder that, whether we like it or not, we’ve been aging our entire lives.
Believe it or not, I am a few years younger than Ethan. In addition to being my elder, he’s also been an incredible source of wisdom, both personal and professional, since I met him. So when he imparts advice about anything, and particularly about aging, where his experience vastly surpasses mine, I’m inclined to listen.
So, when his column for the “Aging Well” issue began with a reminder to accept the reality of aging rather than refuse to acknowledge it, my ears (or eyes, since I was reading?) perked up. “What should I be doing now to better prepare myself for the rest of my life?” I thought.
The broad strokes are relatively simple. Take care of your body, your mind and your finances. The details, and executing them, are the trickier part.
OUR LAVENDER | A WORD IN EDGEWISE
BY E.B. BOATNER
However, don’t let that discourage you from starting to take them seriously. In fact, it’s all the more reason to do so. It’s going to take some time, and some experimentation, to learn how to do things the right way. If you lose a chunk of your retirement money on crypto, or if the scale moves a few pounds in the wrong direction, you can make that money back or get back into your size 32 jeans. If you wait to start trying, you can’t get the time back that has already passed.
In this issue, we have some expert advice on how to manage both your body and bank account to maximize your later years. No matter how you plan to prepare yourself, though, the important thing is to start as soon as possible. Every little thing counts.
Aging Well as an Art
Aging well is an admirable aim, but it’s best to consider that, like it or not, you’ve been aging since your eyes blinked open to the first intrusive light of day. Some resist aging early, reliving lost high school sports heroics, while others bull forward into the future, unprepared. Both reject their unique present moment.
The recently passed, 91-year-old primatologist Jane Goodall exemplifies a well-aged life. Her eyes speak volumes; one is hard-put to find an image in which her regard is not serene yet focused, whether speaking on behalf of fellow creatures, or warning of the dangers of ignoring the nature and nurture of our planet. View video of orphaned chimpanzee, Wounda, ready for release. The cage opens, Wounda exits, then turns back to embrace Goodall before vanishing into the forest.
Goodall’s parents nurtured her love for animals, but, divorced, college became too expensive. Goodall went out to Gombe, by Lake Tanganyika in Tanzania, and studied chimpanzees. In 1966, sans bachelor’s degree, she went straight on to a Ph.D. in ethology.
Dolly Parton’s flash and dash, large-busted and spangly, shaking the rafters with “Jolene,” might seem far removed from Goodall’s quietness and khakis, blond hair fastened in a ponytail as she dwelt among our primate cousins. But Dolly’s no fool. “It costs a lot of money to look this cheap,”
she quips, the big hair and spangles covering a big heart. She’s boosted the economy of her hometown, Sevierville, Tenn., through her art and her many philanthropies, including The Imagination Library.
Since 1995, some 270 million books have been sent to children in English-speaking countries, and 2.4 million age-appropriate books fly worldwide, every month. Her dad couldn’t read; this is Dolly’s response. Not a college grad, she holds honorary doctorates from Carson-Newman College and the University of Tennessee, honoring her contributions to music, education and philanthropy.
Featured in a recent issue of The New Yorker is a performer familiar to and loved by millions for her stage and TV performances, particularly CBS’s “The Carol Burnett Show,” which ran from September 11, 1967, to March 29, 1978, drawing up to 30 million viewers weekly, of which I was one. Burnett turned 92 this past April 26.
Her disruptive early life with/between her mom, Louise, her mother’s mother, Mae Eudora Jones, and feckless father Jody might have been more challenging than Goodall’s Gombe forests or Dolly’s Sevierville cabin and 11 siblings. Burnett and her grandmother (“Nanny”) lived in a studio apartment down the hall from Louise. Burnett slept on the couch. College tuition of $43 was just out of reach until she received an envelope anony-
mously containing a $50-dollar bill. The fact — for which we can be grateful — that UCLA had no journalism major led Burnett to enroll in the theatrearts program.
Perhaps due to her chaotic upbringing, Burnett has always preferred happiness to the other side of the coin. In her recent New Yorker profile, Rachel Syme quotes long-time friend Vicki Lawrence: “Carol never wants to hear any of the bad stuff. I’ve learned that when you get together with her it’s, like, Let’s laugh … she just wants to be happy.”
Nonetheless, Burnett was brave enough to face TV audiences and offer Q&A sessions, ending each weekly show by tugging an earlobe to say good night to her grandmother, and later to her audiences. Her crew was family, yet she summarily fired one who persisted in rudeness to guests. She avoided political satire, choosing takeoffs on earlier material; her Scarlett descending the staircase in drapery and curtain rod (“Went With the Wind”) is hilarious today.
Those aged well realize their own worth but acknowledge the worthiness of others; existence is not a zero-sum contest. If you have a leaning, a gift of whatever dimension, practice it, share it and don’t give up. Classically or street learned, raise the faux-Latin cry, “Illegitimi non carborundum!”*
*“Don’t let the bastards grind you down!”
Photo courtesy of BigStock/Arthon Meekodong
Cooler By the Lake
Blame it on the blaze. When the Great Chicago Fire of 1871 ravaged the city and left its gritty aftermath, its tycoons packed their families aboard trains in search of fresh air. Eastern Wisconsin’s Lake Geneva suited them just fine, so those captains of industry — the Wrigleys, the Maytags, the Schwinns of bicycle fame, the Nabisco clan — built opulent mansions along its shore, winning it the nickname “the Newport of the Midwest.”
Shoreline of Lake Delavan. Photos by Carla Waldemar
Still is. But today, folks like you and me, on more stringent budgets, flock to this idyll to swim and golf, ski and skate. Or, as I’m doing, laze in a rocking chair on the patio of a resort — mine, on nearby Lake Delevan: the Lake Lawn Resort & Spa — shedding the cares of the outside world.
Lake Geneva itself is bordered by 21 miles of shoreline, paved for easy walking. Even easier: jump aboard the ultra-popular mailboat cruise (June to October) while deliveries are made to over 70 homes as the postman narrates the mansions’ histories. Reach for your cameras as the mail carrier — in what has to be one of the more unique summer jobs — grabs a stack of letters, leaps onto each dock, races for its mailbox, then sprints back aboard the boat, which never stops.
“Ever fall in?” I query mail-jumper Kyle. Guilty grin: “It happens.”
Not today. We’ve landed and are off to lunch at shoreside Pier 290, where I wolf down a pretty chicken salad — enough for me after last night’s feast at Grand Geneva Resort & Spa — a former Playboy Club, where today the only bunnies are those that may hop onto the golf course.
Dinner’s enticing menu led off with an uber-Wisconsin starter: sweet corn and brat chowder. Next, a wondrous compressed honeydew melon salad, prelude to a ravioli plump with chicken and cheese. Then beer-braised short ribs and dessert deluxe: honey cake, dolled up with honey brittle, honey cream and honeycomb.
The next day introduced us to more honey, as in a honey tasting (similar to a wine tasting, but sweeter) at Queen Bee, following Thursday’s farmers’ market on the streets of town (cheese curds, anyone?) and a chance to shop the compact main drag, where lakeside living is celebrated in stores like Cornerstone, while Allison Wonderland’s well-curated toys will make you a star with your nieces and nephews. For the rest of your gift list, consider the confectionery Kilwins as your one-stop shopping site. Then linger for dinner across the street at Sopra, where an all-Italian menu reigns.
After magic in the kitchen, try some magic from the stage. That’s Tristan Crist’s forte at his Magic Theatre, where we’re spellbound as he escapes from chains, saws his sweet assistant in half, multiplies wine bottles and more.
Just as magical, but via astro-science rather than sleight of hand, is a tour of Yerkes Observatory, launched in 1897 by Chicago crookster Charles Yerkes to perhaps redeem his reputation, but of far more import: to house the world’s largest refracting telescope. Scientist Edwin Hubbell worked here in the 1920s, using it to find more galaxies. Young Albert Einstein, visiting America at age 24, made sure to include it in his itinerary. And so
Honey tasting at Queen Bee Artisan Market, Lake Geneva School of Cooking, local Farmers Market
should you. Program Director Walt explains the union of science and art (via both painting and music) as he guides visitors to the mammoth telescope that pieces the night sky. Cool gift shop, too.
Back down to earth and back at the table — this time, at Lake Geneva School of Cooking, where Chef John Bogan greets us with flutes of bubbly as we ease into helping prepare the lunch we’ll soon devour — today, featuring mushroom bisque followed by beets and goat cheese en croute, then warm baked apples stuffed with chocolate truffles and paired with vanilla ice cream. It’s fun, it’s laid-back and it’s an edible lesson, all in one.
Impossible to beat? Well, don’t underestimate the kitchen skills at Lakelawn Resort. But first, a tour and a sip at Maxwell Mansion, a boutique Victorian beauty serving overnight guests, while anyone also may drop in (make
that: should drop in) to enjoy its charming speakeasy, the Apothecary Bar. Think we’re not up to dinner after this culinary heyday? Think again.
The restaurant at Lake Lawn Resort is a must-stop on any foodies’ itinerary. Consider this: pork belly burnt end lollipops to whet our appetite, followed by Wisconsin beer cheese soup paired with pomegranate burrata cheese. Then pick your entrée — ribeye steak, short ribs with sun dried-tomato polenta, lobster pappardelle or sea scallops big as a grapefruit (okay, almost) — all leading up to the queen of mud pies.
Hoping there’s never a Great Twin Cities Fire, like Chicago’s — but if there is, you know where to head. But why wait? Check out visitlakegeneva. com. Gentlemen, start your engines: 333 miles to go. Or fly into Milwaukee and grab a rental car.
World famous Yerkes Observatory, elite cocktails at The Apothecary Bar, US Mailboat Tour
‘Beard’ by Kelly Foster Lundquist — Heteropatriarchy Has Us All Pretending
The Minnesota author’s debut memoir illustrates how we all hide our true selves and the many forms “coming out” can take
When thinking about disguises, the first thing that may come to mind is a fake beard. It hides the contours of the jaw and the negative spaces between nose and mouth and mouth and chin, lending the wearer plausible deniability of their identity.
It’s appropriate, then, that a “beard” can also refer to the opposite-sex partner of a closeted gay person.
Living a closeted life can be incredibly painful, but as Minnesota-based author Kelly Foster Lundquist shows in her debut memoir, “Beard: A Memoir of a Marriage,” that pain is not solely felt by the closeted person. In fact, they’re not always the only ones in hiding.
“Beard,” which hits shelves Oct. 24, unravels the author’s marriage to her then-closeted exhusband, Devin, whom she met when they were both counselors at a Mississippi evangelical Bible camp. The repressiveness of this cultural environment for queer people is readily apparent, but “Beard” is Lundquist’s story, not her ex’s. From her perspective, the reader gets to see how Devin was her beard as well, as their marriage helped her feel belonging to her strict, heteropatriarchal faith community — ironically, the same one they first bonded over feeling alienated from.
Photo courtesy of Kelly Foster Lundquist
“[‘Beard’] is about the fallout of all of the systems that silence and shame and isolate us. And it’s not just one person that’s impacted by it,” Lundquist says. “I very much realized that [Devin] made me feel like I had a shorthand for acceptance and belonging. For my queer friends, their reaction to it has been about the sort of nuclear residue that’s left from conversion therapy.”
Lundquist, now in her 40s, has shapely silver curls, bright brown eyes and an infectious enthusiasm. She describes all interactions with friends as “laughing” with them, and provides “one-million-” and “one-zillion-percent” confirmation to clarifying questions.
The resemblance she bears to Judy Garland, the gay icon and fellow beard who makes several appearances throughout the memoir, is on the nose. Behind each woman’s smile is immense wisdom hard-won from tumultuous lives.
Another piece of the puzzle, explains Lundquist, was trying to own her own complicity in these systems of oppression as a straight white woman. At one point in the memoir, she writes about suggesting conversion therapyesque websites to Devin, which he vehemently refuses. However, the reader can see this moment through a sympathetic lens, as they’re both trying to navigate uncertainty the only ways they know how.
“My question is, what if I was the thing that was killing him?” Lundquist says. “In so many ways, I was the culmination of conversion therapy for him.”
Lundquist also dissects the “beard” trope as seen in media and popular culture, often shown through an overly plain woman with no “gay-dar,” as it were, who shacks up with a strikingly handsome man with a deep bond with his male “best friend” or some other indicator of queerness that goes over the woman’s head. In response, Lundquist asks, “What does that make me?”
Use of the present tense throughout creates a feeling of immediacy, as if the reader is watching everything play out by Lundquist’s side. It emphasizes
her poignant, tender-one-moment, chilling-the-next writing style. It elucidates the complex queer theory she engages with in grad school, which, by design, is not easily understood.
It also adds viscerality to already graphic descriptions of Lundquist’s period of disordered eating and body dysmorphia, which was how systems of oppression wreaked havoc on her. Readers sensitive to this subject matter should beware.
This year will mark 22 years since the first domino fell in Lundquist’s marriage during a post-Halloween round of drinks in Boystown, Chicago. She had dressed as Liza Minelli, also a beard at one point, like her mother, Garland. This year, Lundquist says she and her 11-year-old daughter will dress as Garland and Minelli and make a pilgrimage back.
Lundquist says at the time she remembers thinking, “I’m probably gonna write about this.” Now, after the culmination of her life thus far, she says there are plans to continue writing, but it’s too soon to get into specifics. She mentions comparing idealization and real experience with regard to her Minnesotan husband in a project tentatively titled “How to write a Hallmark movie.”
Us queer folks are naturally very protective of our stories, but it’s clear how much Lundquist took care to write her own story in relation to her closeted husband and not claim his as her own. She describes how engaging with queerness and building community with queer people helped her see the cognitive dissonance in her evangelical upbringing, as well as her own detachment from cisgender identity that she is still exploring. Queerness, ultimately, is what helped her empathize with her ex when he came out. It’s what helps them shave their beards off together.
Perhaps those who feel alienated just end up finding each other — we can see what’s underneath the beard.
Rachael Sage on Music, Mental
Health
and Radical Compassion
For nearly three decades, New York alt-pop artist Rachael Sage has been building a career on authenticity, resilience and hope. Now, with her latest album, “Canopy,” and her newly announced role as the first official ambassador for Rainbow Mind, she’s weaving those values into a new chapter that feels both deeply personal and urgently timely.
Rainbow Mind is a UK-based mental health charity that provides peer-led therapy and community support for LGBTQIA+ individuals. It’s a partnership that Sage calls a perfect fit.
“My new album and current tour are focused on themes of inclusivity, safety and compassion,” she says. “As a member of the LGBTQ+ community myself, I loved the idea that they provide mental health services to the community via other LGBTQ+ individuals. I think it epitomizes the idea of safety and shelter that the title track of my album is about, and I have so much respect and appreciation for the work that they’re doing!”
Rainbow Mind’s guiding principle is radical compassion, a phrase Sage admits shouldn’t feel radical at all, but one that resonates powerfully in today’s climate.
“It shouldn’t be ‘radical’ to show compassion ever, in any degree, but this is the world we live in,” she says. “As far as I’m concerned, it means that those of us who continue to believe in equality, acceptance, kindness and empathy as guiding principles need to step it up all the more!”
As she takes on the ambassador role, Sage sees it as an extension of the work she has always tried to do through music. She channels her music and her platform to highlight the quiet acts of resilience that deserve attention.
“I like to think that I understand a lot about what it means to be a cheerleader for people who may be struggling to fully acknowledge their own worth,” she says. “I was badly bullied as a kid and went through my own journey toward self-acceptance after dealing with depression, as well as sexual assault and cancer survivorship.”
“The silver lining of all of that is that now I get to not only use music as a healing tool but also to have the chance to champion others doing great work to improve our world,” Sage continues. “In a time where so many are tearing down others and putting negative energy and divisiveness into the world, it’s imperative to cast light on ‘the helpers,’ as the saying goes.”
Sage fully acknowledges the growing need for mental health support for the LGBTQIA+ community. “These are some crazy times to navigate for most people just trying to be who they are, live authentically and proudly, but especially LGBTQIA+ individuals who may not be fully understood or accepted by peers or work colleagues, family and the medical community.”
She understands this on a personal level. Her first bandmate and violinist took his own life because his family rejected him for being gay.
“Having been raised in the ballet world and surrounded by gay people from well before I even knew I was bi, I found it hard to imagine anyone’s family could be so ignorant and cruel,” she shares. “But, as we know, a high percentage of homeless youth are LGBTQIA+ because they have faced various forms of rejection. That is why it’s all the more crucial to not bear these burdens alone and to be able to confide safely with others who truly do understand.”
Those values flow naturally into her new album, which she’s curated over several years. As the political climate in the U.S. has become ever more divided, Sage says it prompted her to want to provide more uplift and hope.
“We all need to be more resilient just to navigate our world with grace and strength, but we also need to laugh and find joy,” she says. “That’s why my current tour is called ‘Joy = Resistance Tour.’”
At the heart of it all is the same message Sage has carried through her career: you are enough, and you are loved. It’s a message driven home in a song from the album called “The Best Version,” in which she sings, “I love you even though I’ve never met you before.”
“I actually mean it!” Sage says. “Knowing you are loved and that someone believes in you, that you matter and make a difference on this planet as the uniquely gifted and sensitive human you are will hopefully ease some of that struggle.”
Looking ahead, Sage hopes “Canopy” becomes more than a collection of songs. She shares, “Hopefully this is a soundtrack for something bigger than just one record. We can all be a canopy to someone else.”
Rachael Sage. Photos by Anna Azarov, courtesy of Jojo Gentry
Dance like you’re gay
Do you have a favorite queer band that you feel never got the love and attention it deserved? Honestly, there are probably too many to mention. Take early ‘80s San Francisco duo Voice Farm, described as an “experimental synth-pop group and art house video collective,” for example. With vocals by Charly Brown and sound design by Myke Reilly, the pair initially created experimental electroclash-style tunes before moving into more accessible dance-pop with 1991’s “Bigger Cooler Weirder.” Previously available only on vinyl, never on CD or streaming, Voice Farm’s 1982 debut album “The World We Live In” (Red Radio Records) has been reissued as a limited-edition cassette, in “pink passion shell.” Backed by other musicians, Voice Farm perfectly captured the electronic mood of the early 1980s — think Jeff & Jane Hudson and the “Liquid Sky” soundtrack — on songs such as “Beatnik,” “Mama Made Me Do It,” “Double Garage,” a cover of “Sally Go Round The Roses,” and the instrumentals “Davy’s Big Battle” and “Follow Me Home.” Dig out your Walkman, and don’t let another 40 years pass before you listen to Voice Farm.
Would we have a band such as the trio Nation of Language without ‘80s electro pioneers such as Voice Farm, OMD or Ministry? Ministry is mentioned because the cover art for “Dance Called Memory” (Sub Pop), Nation of Language’s fourth album, is a subtle tribute to Ministry’s underrated 1983 album “With Sympathy.” Led by Ian Devaney and featuring his wife Aidan Noell (who identifies as bisexual) and Alex MacKay (who goes by he/them pronouns), Nation of Language is at the forefront of an ‘80s synthdance revival. More than half of the 10 tracks on “Dance Called Memory” are memorable dance tunes, including “Inept Apollo,” “Silhouette,” “In Another Life,” “Now That You’re Gone” and “In Your Head.”
Like Ministry in its early days, Devell is a Chicago-based synth-pop duo. Unlike Ministry, Devell is comprised of a gay couple, Darrell James and Steven McIntosh. Devell’s new album “Two” (Devell.com) is as much a reference to the pair as it is to being Devell’s second album. The twosome combines its rock background with a healthy dose of club banger energy, meaning there’s no sophomore slump here. Instead, Devell delivers a solid set featuring “Take Pride,” “Boom Boom,” “Bounce,” “Let’s Go” and “Feel It.” Also notable are “Leather Daddy,” co-written by Devell, comedian Andy Eninger and lesbian band Stewed Tomatoes (!), and an elevated dance cover of Led Zeppelin’s “Immigrant Song.”
A fierce amalgamation of post-punk band Idles and queer musician Hamish Hawk, Model/Actriz, led by the magnetic Cole Haden, returns with its remarkable second album “Pirouette” (True Panther/Dirty Hit). Model/Actriz practically dares you to sit or stand still, beginning with galloping album opener “Vespers,” and then follows it with the equally propulsive and heartbreaking “Cinderella” (about being a boy wanting a Cinderellathemed fifth birthday party). “Poppy” blooms with an industrial blast, and “Departures” leaves gender behind. At under three minutes, “Audience” is a slamming workout, and “Doves” soars. Additionally, Model/Actriz doesn’t hesitate to embrace its softer side on “Baton.”
Years before the current crop of queer hip-hop acts Doechii, Lil Nas X, Frank Ocean and Tyler, The Creator, and years before old-school artists such as Queen Latifah and Da Brat came out, there was Cazwell. Queer right out of the gate in the late ‘90s as one half of Morplay, Cazwell went solo in the early 2000s. His best songs, including “All Over Your Face,” “I Seen Beyonce,” “Helen Keller,” “I Buy My Socks on 14th Street,” “The Sex That I Need,” “Rice & Beans,” “Get Into It,” “Unzip Me” (featuring Peaches) and “No Selfie Control,” combined irresistible dance beats, sexy and smutty lyrics, and a distinctive sense of humor. Of the 29 tracks on the double-disc compilation “Hits All Over Your Face” (Peace Biscuit), nearly two dozen appeared on Cazwell’s full-length albums “Watch My Mouth” (2009) and “Hard 2 B Fresh” (2014), including the songs mentioned above, some featuring legendary West End Records samples.
If you know any of the 1960s dances referenced in the B-52s’ song “Dance This Mess Around,” such as the Hip-O-Crit, the Shy Tuna, the Aqua Velva or the Camel Walk, the new album “Tucson Safari” (In The Red) by Naïm Amor and Kid Congo Powers would be a great opportunity to show them off. No one would dare accuse prolific gay music legend Powers of sitting idle, not even during the early days of the pandemic, when this album was recorded. Powers has also made a name for himself as a collaborator (“Jungle Cruise,” his collaboration LP with Alice Bag, was released earlier this year), and this collab with Amor, combining rockabilly/garage with synths, results in some superb retro dance rock on “Stoned by the Mile,” “Murder She Wrote,” “Guitar Ping Pong” and “Surf Sirens,” all spinning out on orange sherbet splatter vinyl.
Photo courtesy of BigStock/Maugli-l
‘Pride on Ice’ – For the Frogtown Curling Club, Love is One Big Brushoff
It’s all about reducing friction, really.
Oh, at first glance, it might look like it’s all about reducing galactic tooth decay as eight lunatic dentists attend to the tartar-shredding needs of some planet-sized dragon, but these actions are in furtherance of a friction-reducing sport that looks, at second and third glance, like the unfathomable love child of billiards, bowling, hockey, marbles, floor scrubbing and maybe tiddlywinks, depending on what tiddlywinks is.
The sport is curling — often ignored by the general public, and if not ignored, often ridiculed, and if not ridiculed, almost always misun-
derstood. Invented in 16th-century Scotland, curling is a sport where two four-person teams attempt to deliver a heavy, polished granite disk — a “stone” or a “rock,” depending on how you feel about Dwayne Johnson — across the perforated face of the sheet (or “rink,” according to people who refer to “European football” as “soccer”). Each team tries to score the most points by nudging the most stones through the house — a target found on either end of the sheet — ideally, laying claim to the house’s button, or bullseye.
But there’s another feature, the one that accounts for the sport’s popular image. Once the
stone is cast, two team members use brooms to saw the ice in front of the stone, producing dual effects: first, the stone often lists to one side or the other, granting the game its name; and second, the sweeping reduces the stone-on-sheet friction, allowing the oversized puck to travel, in the best of cases, 10 feet longer than it otherwise would have.
This physics-heavy sport manifests locally and regularly thanks to the machinations of the Frogtown Curling Club, a volunteer-run sports association located in the eponymous neighborhood of Minneapolis’s largest suburb, St. Paul. Robb Flaherty-Wilcox is currently a charter member of the club … but he had to overcome no small amount of psychic friction to get there.
“As an out queer man who grew up surrounded by toxic masculinity, organized sports had never felt like a welcoming space,” he remembers.
In fact, Flaherty-Wilcox had to be pushed into the sport like a granite stone.
(L-R) Robb Flaherty-Wilcox, Kelly Flaherty, Joey Gilbert, Laura Seidel, Rory the Aurorasaurus with Biff the Frog. Photos courtesy of Robb Flaherty-Wilcox
“In 2011, after moving to the Twin Cities, my aunt invited me to join a team she had formed with some of her coworkers,” he says. “I was hesitant — growing up in northern Minnesota on the Iron Range, I knew a little about the sport, but I didn’t actually start curling until I was 25.”
Upon joining, Flaherty-Wilcox quickly warmed to the ice-centric endeavor.
“It didn’t take long for me to fall in love — not only with the sport itself, but also with my curling club and the people who gave me a true sense of community,” he declares. “Curling is so much more than the stones, brooms and strategy; at its core, it’s about good sportsmanship and connection.”
Such connections can become bigger than the sport that wove them. After Flaherty-Wilcox and his husband adopted a newborn girl, the Frogtown Curling Club turned one of its competitions into a surprise baby shower.
“To this day, I get emotional thinking about a team of straight, older Midwestern dads showing up with a stroller and diapers for my family,” he confesses. “That moment broke down some of my own assumptions and reminded me to check my biases, too.”
This bias-checking was probably nurtured by the Club’s hosting of monthly bonspiels, a mixture of exercise on and off the ice.
“The word bonspiel comes from curling’s Scottish roots: bon means ‘good,’ and spiel means ‘game’ or ‘play,’” Flaherty-Wilcox explains. “Today, bonspiels range from relaxed weekend gatherings at local clubs to major tournaments that draw elite teams from across the globe.”
One such gathering will soon radiate a particularly iridescent theme: Frogtown Curling Club’s
third annual Pride Spiel, which will showcase the rangy talents of 42 teams from all across North America.
“Hosting a Pride Spiel celebrates our values in a visible, joyful way — strengthening both the curling community and the broader queer community,” Flaherty-Wilcox insists. “Curling is built on traditions of sportsmanship, community and inclusivity. Plus, we go all out decorating the club — you’ll know it’s a Pride Spiel the moment you walk through the door!”
That seemingly-superficial-but-dazzling display will, in fact, catalyze an absence of friction that shall serve as the event’s beating heart, but less brush-oriented features include raffles, games, contests, drag entertainment and “what we do best — brunch!”
“Come down to the club and see the action up close!” Flaherty-Wilcox enthuses. “We’re one of the few clubs in the nation where you can watch games right by the ice. Of course, you can always stay warm in the lounge, but we highly recommend stepping out to the rink — you’ll get a front-row view, and there will be plenty of people happy to explain the game and welcome you to the club.”
Frogtown Curling Club frogtowncurling.org frogtowncurling.org/index.php/club-events/bonspiel-list/207-pride-spiel
‘Finding Our Way’: Caregiving, Book-Writing and the Life That Happens While Life is Happening
Caring for aging loved ones is a difficult journey, no matter what. Whether you’ve cared for an aging parent, grandparent or loved one yourself, or you’ve watched someone else do it, you know it’s a time filled with fraught difficulties, devoted love and, oftentimes, confusion about the right thing to do. That’s precisely why Minnesota author Leslie Vick wrote her debut book, “Finding Our Way.” Her book is part-memoir, part-caregiving guide and all honest and raw.
“My [writing] process is rooted in storytelling,” Vick says. “I journaled, reflected and gathered real moments from caring for my loved ones — both the tender ones and the difficult ones — and shaped them into something that could speak to others going through similar experiences.”
Vick’s experience with caregiving actually began long before she started her own journey caring for her father, Tom, and later, as the sole caregiver for her aunt, Helen. She grew up watching her grandmother, Gretchen, care for and dote on her chronically ill grandfather, Phil, through all of his pains and trouble walking, and “endless issues,” which would eventually take over their lives.
“Phil passed away at home, as Gretchen comforted him, and we all said good-bye,” she says.
Watching her grandmother taught Vick what a caregiver does and showed her a hard truth: that caregiving takes a resolute, loving, durable person — that it is a warm thing and a lonely thing. Vick considers this act of love by her grandmother to her grandfather to be her first experience watching a caregiver in action.
These experiences, both watching her grandmother and providing care herself, pushed Vick to write “Finding Our Way.”
“I wrote much of the book while I was still actively caregiving, which meant there were days I was writing late at night and after doctor’s appointments and long conversations,” she says. “Writing became a way to process grief and exhaustion, but also to celebrate the love and resilience I witnessed every day.”
Vick also knows that caregiving is not only challenging work, but it’s often invisible work. Her book works to shed light on the “emotional, logistical and overwhelming” labor that caregivers do every day — and to let readers know they are not alone in their struggles or their triumphs.
“Finding Our Way” includes “practical advice alongside heartfelt stories, encouragement and a reminder that there is no ‘perfect’ way to care
Leslie with her mother on Mother’s Day, Jessie Alison and Leslie - “Senior Moments” segment on Midwest Access. Photos courtesy of Leslie Vick
for someone you love.” Readers can expect to find useful tips, relatable stories and compassion for the journey they are taking with their own aging loved ones.
Vick also notes that this book might be engaging to a queer audience for another reason entirely.
“‘Finding Our Way’ isn’t explicitly about queerness, but it is about chosen family, acceptance and creating safe, affirming spaces for our loved ones,” she says. “Those values absolutely resonate with the LGBTQ+ community. Many queer folks know what it means to redefine family or friends, and caregiving often mirrors that — showing up for each other with love, no matter what.”
Caregiving, as Vick says, is “so much more than bed pans, prescriptions and appointments.” It’s a true labor of love, and a frequently thankless one, at that.
As you find your own way through your caregiving journey, let Vick’s experiences serve as a guiding light. “Finding Our Way” will make you laugh, cry and possibly (hopefully!) keep you from pulling your hair out as you navigate an intimately challenging time in your life.
It’s a sweet sort of consideration that, in her devotion to caring for family members, Leslie Vick also found a way to care for caregivers by writing this book. “Finding Our Way” will help you feel a little alone, whether you’re in the trenches of caregiving or just starting out.
You can find “Finding Our Way: A Guide on Care, Finances and Helping Through the End of Life Journey” on her website, leslievickbooks.com. And if you’d like to find out more about “Finding Our Way” and Leslie Vick as a writer, follow her on social media @findingourwaybook on Instagram and Finding Our Way on Facebook!
Cheese and Wine Aren’t the Only Things That Age Well with Time: Inside Summit Orthopedics’ New Maple Grove Location with Dr. Dane Hansen
If physicians were to vote on the best type of medicine for middle-to-older-aged athletes, 99.9% would agree: movement is their go-to in the preventative category. Summit Orthopedics’ new location in Maple Grove, Minn., spotlights the talented and exceptionally trained Dane Hansen, doctor of osteopathic medicine.
“Summit has never really had a full kind of formal, and that’s a big move for us,” Hansen says.
This presence in Maple Grove provides accessibility to the west metro and brings a full package of care. It mirrors both the Vadnais Heights and Eagan locations, veteran locations that have been a part of the Summit hub for the last five to 10 years.
“This location is similar in having truly kind of a one-stop shop,” Hansen says. “We have an urgent care, a clinic, physical therapy, hand therapy and a full surgery center with what we call care suites.”
These care suites are recovery suites that have the luxury and attention of hotel-style areas for patients to recover from major surgeries such as spine surgery, fusions, joint replacements and more. Summit prescribes each patient a care plan tailored to their needs and assigns a specialized team to carry it out.
Care teams have the honor and responsibility to cater to patients through support, presence, encouragement and innovation. Summit Orthopedics’ Maple Grove location embraces the idea of open interaction to support both the patient and the care team, whose professional opinion and assurance are easily accessible. This reimagines what an orthopedic medicine environment feels like: professional, but also very human.
Imagine having to experience a painful and difficult circumstance when it comes to your bone, hip or knee health. You’d be wondering where to go for care during each phase of recovery, but also feeling warm and confident in your prescribed care rotation. You’d be seen and heard around the clock, and on a first-name basis with an industry physician whose mission and purpose are to get you back healthy and back to yourself.
It is almost difficult to believe care like this exists without proof of patients who have completed rehabilitation and care treatments. Examples include skiers who were able to return to their sport, competing and training in weather that is known to hinder joint agility, and pickleballers who have re-obtained flexibility months after post-operation physical therapy.
“No matter how old or young we are, all of us have something we’re passionate about,” Hansen shares. “Getting my patients back to doing what they love is what’s rewarding for me.”
Education would come in a close second for the best type of medicine. When people are educated on preventative measures and take advice to get in tune with their bodies, they’ll have better discernment on how to treat or alert chronic to acute episodes of discomfort.
Hansen believes innovation and empathy create the bridge between the technology that Summit Orthopedics has incorporated and a full vision of health for those who are in their care.
“We want people to know that movement is for everyone,” Hansen states. “Whether it’s walking, biking, swimming or chasing after grandkids, it all counts. The goal is to keep people moving and keep them living.”
Just as cheese and wine go through their own seasons of cultivation and preservation, athletes age biologically almost in a similar way. Repetition, endurance and time condition their bodies to a state to withstand motion, whether demanded or free. Aging isn’t a challenge; it’s the opportunity to prepare oneself for recovery and edification, which brings a reimagined idea of what performance means at each stage. This also stands true for the athletes in recovery or rehabilitation. Like aging, they can be a road toward reclaiming their narrative.
Considering the proximity of identity and performance in modern life, preservation is a priority. Longevity matters, and honoring your body’s changes during the entire process is rewarding. The secret to aging well is simpler than we thought and much slower than we anticipated: it’s being prepared for accidents while also living young at heart through the body.
If you are interested in learning more about Summit Orthopedics, please visit their website, summitortho.com.
Dr. Dane Hansen. Photo courtesy
Third
From Politics to Philanthropy: How One Couple Supports Arts and Travel at their Alma Maters
For many college students, the generosity of those who give can transform their college experience. The cost of college goes beyond tuition. Between high rent, rising inflation and transformative opportunities like study abroad, not every student has the funds to attend college, let alone take advantage of all it has to offer.
Jim St. George, a Minnesota native and University of Minnesota Twin Cities alumnus, and his husband Mark Sullivan began their philanthropic journey after retiring from political careers. They met in 1987 at the Harvard Kennedy School, where they studied public policy and were among the few openly gay students in their class. St. George worked in economic policy and politics, while Sullivan focused on campaign policy, ultimately building the Voter Activation Network, part of the largest Democratic campaign software, NGP VAN.
When VAN grew large enough that Sullivan needed to start a company, St. George left his job and helped Sullivan manage it, where it eventually became the largest Democratic campaign technology company. They merged with another political company and eventually handed it off to them. They sold everything and travelled the world non-stop for half a decade before
Mark Sullivan and Jim St. George, bicycling near Finse, Norway, hiking in Ljubljana, Slovenia.
selling the company for more than they ever thought they could and moving to New York.
St. George says that after putting some money aside for their families, they thought, “Well, what else do you do with the money?” They wanted to give back to the places that impacted them the most and help fund opportunities and experiences such as performances by worldrenowned musicians and making study abroad more affordable.
“If I think of an institution that really put me on the path, it was the University of Minnesota,” he says. “I used to do state finance work and am painfully aware of the way state governments have continuously, year after year after year, under-financed public higher education. That very quickly became an almost no-brainer to say, ‘That’s where I would like our resources to go when we die.’”
St. George grew up in Superior, Wisc., but moved to the Iron Range in high school. He says his dad, who is Native American, worked in a mine taconite plant in the Iron Range as an electrician, his parents married young and had no opportunities. UMN helped take him out of a cycle and gave him opportunities his parents never had.
Continued on page 26
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He worked as an activist in Minneapolis, working for the first openly gay Minneapolis City Council member, Brian Coyle, in between stints at UMN. When he started, he was closeted and ended up dropping out. But after coming out, he eventually went back and finished his degree in political science.
“I didn’t have a perfect or easy experience there, that is to say, I essentially had a mental health breakdown while I was struggling to stay closeted, which is difficult to do,” St. George says. “But still, despite that, you meet the best people, the best friends of your life, and you have this great experience, in my case over a 10-year period.”
Their donations to the University of Minnesota and University of Michigan, Sullivan’s alma mater, go towards performing arts and study abroad programs. St. George says the performing arts have become a key part of their lives since moving to New York, and supporting those at the beginning of their journey while they might be struggling makes sense.
While Sullivan had the chance to study abroad a few times throughout his college career, St. George didn’t have the resources, but joined the Navy right after high school for four years and spent half of it overseas in Italy.
The couple has travelled across the world from places like France to Senegal, experiencing the environment, culture, community and cuisine of every country they visit. St. George says you learn a lot about your own assumptions and things you might have taken for granted your whole life. What may seem normal to you as a Westerner may not exist for people in other places.
“We both just had the sense that the opportunity to get out of the United States is so important, and if you can make that available to more kids, especially, from my perspective, in music, it’s like, what a great gift, and so that’s a big part of why we’re doing this,” he says.
Lunch in Ljubljana, Slovenia, Mark Sullivan and Jim St. George. Photos courtesy of Jim St. George
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Thrivent provides advice and guidance through its Financial Planning Framework that generally includes a review and analysis of a client’s financial situation. A client may choose to further their planning engagement with Thrivent through its Dedicated Planning Services (an investment advisory service) that results in written recommendations for a fee.
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What to Consider When Planning for One’s Financial Future
As a financial advisor, every day looks a bit different for Kim Monaghan. The finances of each person she works with are reflective of their unique circumstances and livelihoods, meaning the strategies necessary to achieve financial stability and freedom are likely to look different for each individual. As such, a large portion of Monaghan’s work is to come up with unique paths and methods to shape their financial futures. Despite the tailored approach, Monaghan’s goal remains the same: to provide accurate and useful information that helps individuals find empowerment through their finances.
“Our goal in financial planning is to make sure that people feel seen, heard and safe, and to build financial plans that give our clients the creative freedom to plan for the life they want so they can live lives they love with the people they love,” Monaghan says. “Tactically, that might look like making sure people are growing their wealth to put money in the right places based on their goals, and that we’re protecting that wealth from things like recessions, illness or long-term care needs.”
In life, the unexpected happens more than people would like. This can leave people in vulnerable positions, especially if they are underprepared. Part of Monaghan’s role is to ensure that people have specialized plans in place that factor in the ever-changing financial environment of the individual. While it is important to strategize the different ways in which one can grow their money, it is equally important to consider the ways that money can be lost. This is an aspect of the role that Monaghan found herself connecting with more personally when one of her loved ones was hit with an unexpected medical expense.
“One of the things that I love about this job is we’re planning for the best, but also in case of the worst, and in the case of my family, we had to do that,” Monaghan says. “And, to know that we had a financial plan for that for us, and for our clients, also felt really empowering because I was able to take time to just focus on getting better and being with the family and not the financial stuff.”
In addition to helping people plan for the unexpected, Monaghan’s work also revolves around setting people up for retirement. While it is never too late to begin planning for retirement, it is best to start as soon as one can, according to Monaghan. This is because a large part of retirement planning centers around increasing one’s income and benefits. The sooner one begins to take control of their financial future, the more income they will have to make last.
“I think a lot of people probably think, ‘Oh, I wish I had started yesterday,’ but the best thing we can do is start today and start making a plan. And look at what we’ve already done, because a lot of people are a lot further along than they think they are,” Monaghan says. “And then, once they sit down and meet with
an advisor, they really have a view of where they are and where they’re going and what they need to do to get where they want to be.”
One consideration that is easy to overlook when it comes to retirement is the different ways one wants to spend their money. According to Monaghan, while people are often reminded to save their money, they might not be thinking about the many ways in which they will be spending their funds.
“When it comes to spending our wealth, all of a sudden, a lot of things change at once. And you have a lot of accounts that you’re dealing with that all have different tools and different reasons for being,” Monaghan says. “It can feel really overwhelming to understand which of those tools to use and when, depending on what’s happening in the market. And so, a financial advisor can really sit down and help you understand what each of these tools does.”
While this conversation is individual-specific, there are some expenses that anyone can think about. For example, someone planning for retirement should consider things such as whether they want to donate to a charity, what sort of long-term care they are interested in and how much that will cost, and how they want to handle their estate. A financial advisor is there to guide each person along a specialized path meant to secure the future they want.
“Many LGBTQ+ people that we work with want to support the causes and organizations that help shape their lives, and we can actually build that into your financial strategy while maintaining your own security,” Monaghan says. “And, if that’s important to you, we want to make sure that it’s important to us and that we build a plan for it. … I would say one of the most empowering things that you can do going into retirement is making sure that your estate plan is updated. So, your estate plan is essential to making sure that your wishes are honored and your loved ones are protected.”
The process for planning one’s estate is always ongoing and evolving. New documents and information need to be updated over the course of time as things change and take new forms. A financial advisor will be able to look at one’s finances and determine the best way to make sure their wishes are fulfilled. This includes updating beneficiaries, assigning power of attorney and preparing to leave a legacy, or money behind for a charity or scholarship.
While someone without a background in finances is likely to find these factors confusing and hard to understand, a financial advisor can connect with them to ensure that all of the proper steps are taken to protect the wishes someone has for their estate and to provide a fulfilling and freeing future. Retirement is something to look forward to, and with the right fit, a financial advisor can ensure that one’s finances are secure and in their control.
Kim Monaghan.
Photo by Sophia Phillips
TC Leather and Fetish Weekend Celebrates Queer Deviancy and Diversity
Boasting an impressive 16 years in the running, Twin Cities Leather and Fetish Weekend (TCLF) is a oneof-a-kind celebration of queer deviancy. Guided by the ever-shifting landscape of the scene, TCLF continues to evolve to reflect the modern reality of the community.
The brains behind the scenes are the co-owners of the TC Leather shop and community center, Kurt Patton and Karri Plowman. Drawing on their wealth of experience in the scene, the duo has honed the event to meet the community’s changing needs.
TCLF Weekend will be held Nov. 7-9 at The Saloon in downtown Minneapolis. Admission is free. The events encourage radical self-expression in all its forms, featuring educational workshops, a wellness town hall, a plethora of dance opportunities and socials tailored to a range of demographics — from femmes to puppies.
The main event will feature the longstanding Mr. Twin Cities Leather competition, alongside a new, inclusive title: TC Fetish (honorific to be determined by the winner). Unlike the Mr. Leather contest, which is limited to male-identifying individuals, the TC Fetish competition welcomes participants of all genders and orientations — a reflection of the community’s diversity.
“We’ve had about every type of individual win that title. This is the next phase of evolution,” Patton explains. Both titles will carry equal weight, and winners will collaborate to strengthen community ties. Contestants will be judged on their leather look, a private interview, written responses and, finally, the highly anticipated talent portion, which culminates on Saturday night. Past acts have included elaborate drag performances, live leatherworking and other unique displays not quite suitable for print.
Winners of both titles will be fully outfitted by TC Leather in custom-made gear, complete with a sash, patch and a platform to champion a cause of their choice. Mr. TCL will go on to represent Minnesota in the International Mr. Leather competition.
“Many of our past title holders went on to do harm reduction and community work, or become founders of other leather clubs. It really does create opportunity and leadership,” Patton says.
Plowman, TCLF’s executive producer, recalls that when he first entered Minnesotan leather culture more than a decade ago, the scene skewed toward homogeneity.
“We have believed very, very strongly in equality for all — that leather, kink, fetish, whatever umbrella you want to use, is about everyone being happy,” Plowman explains. “As a queer individual, if any of this resonates with you, then leather is your birthright, and it belongs to you just as much as the grizzled cis man at the other end of the bar.”
Like Plowman, Patton prioritizes community first. Joining the scene before he was even of drinking age, Patton has been enmeshed in queer subculture for nearly 14 years. Beyond the pageantry, the organizers of TCLF Weekend are focused on fostering community and connection. The minds behind TCL often work sixor seven-day workweeks, working overtime to fulfill community needs and to satisfy all the tasks that a small business requires.
“It truly is a labor of love,” Patton explains.
The leather community in the Twin Cities stands apart from other major cities. With a mid-sized population compared to urban metropolises such as Chicago, New York City or Los Angeles, the smaller scene fosters intimate connections across subcultures. Patton attributes the cross-subcultural mingling to the scale of the scene.
“Here, you’re at the same table. You have to talk!” Patton says.
Plowman nods, adding, “That’s the glue of our community. You don’t have to like… You know… I don’t yuck other people’s yums. It doesn’t have to be for me for me to champion and respect what they’re into.”
While many might assume that coastal cities boast a more diverse and vibrant leather scene, Plowman and Patton — both queer people of color — stand at the forefront of Minnesota’s leather culture. They are quick to credit women for shaping the foundation of the community and ensuring its continued evolution.
TCL serves as a connection point for people first entering the leather community or for those moving to the Twin Cities. The community center welcomes newcomers with open arms and radical acceptance regardless of race, gender, orientation or preference. TCLF brings people across subcultures together to represent and celebrate deviant queer sexuality in all its beauty.
Photo courtesy of BigStock/David Tran
Community Connection brings visibility to local LGBTQ-friendly non-profit organizations. To reserve your listing in Community Connection, email advertising@lavendermagazine. com.
ANIMAL RESCUE
Second Chance Animal Rescue
Dedicated to rescuing, fostering, caring for, and adopting out dogs and cats into forever homes.
P.O. Box 10533 White Bear Lake, MN 55110 (651) 771-5662 www.secondchancerescue.org
BUSINESS ASSOCIATIONS
Quorum
Minnesota's LGBTQ+ and Allied Chamber of Commerce working to build, connect, and strengthen for a diverse business community. 2446 University Ave. W., Ste 112 St. Paul, MN 55114 (612) 460-8153 www.twincitiesquorum.com
ENVIRONMENT
The Nature Conservancy
TNC is an environmental nonprofit working to create a world where people and nature thrive. 1101 W. River Pkwy., Ste. 200 Minneapolis, MN 55415-1291 (612) 331-0700 minnesota@tnc.org www.nature.org/minnesota
EVENT VENUES
Landmark Center
A classic venue, with a grand cortile and beautiful courtrooms, accommodates celebrations of all sizes.
75 W. 5th St. St. Paul, MN 55102 (651) 292-3228 www.landmarkcenter.org
GRANTMAKERS/FUNDERS
PFund Foundation
PFund is the LGBTQ+ community foundation that provides grants to students and grants to non-profits. PO Box 3640 Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 870-1806 www.pfundfoundation.org
HEALTH & WELLNESS
Aliveness Project
Community Center for individuals living with HIV/AIDS – on-site meals, food shelf, and supportive service.
3808 Nicollet Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55102 (612) 824-LIFE (5433) www.aliveness.org
MEDIA & COMMUNICATIONS
Radio K
Radio K is the award-winning studentrun radio station of the University of Minnesota.
330 21st. Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55455 (612) 625-3500 www.radiok.org
COMMUNITY CONNECTION
MEDICAL SERVICES
Red Door Clinic
HIV and STI screening, treatment, education, and referrals. Doxy PEP, nPEP, PrEP, and Reproductive Health. 525 Portland Ave., 4th Fl. Minneapolis, MN 55415 (612) 543-5555 reddoor@hennepin.us www.reddoorclinic.org
MUSEUM
Bell Museum, University of Minnesota
Discover Minnesota’s rich natural history through engaging exhibits, wildlife dioramas, and an exciting planetarium experience!
2088 Larpenteur Ave. W. St. Paul, MN 55113 (612) 626-9660 bellinfo@umn.edu www.bellmuseum.umn.edu
Minnesota Historical Society
Create your own adventure at MNHS historic sites and museums around Minnesota. www.mnhs.org
Minneapolis Institute of Art Home to masterpieces from around the world and through the ages. Always free. Everyone welcome.
2400 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55404 (612) 870-3000 www.artsmia.org
Science Museum of Minnesota
Mississippi Riverfront Museum featuring dinosaurs, hands-on exhibits, Omnitheater films, and interactive science performances. Café onsite.
120 W. Kellogg Blvd. St. Paul, MN 55102 (651) 221-9444 www.smm.org
PERFORMING ARTS
ARENA DANCES
ARENA DANCES presents innovative contemporary dance, fostering community, dialogue, and inclusion through performance and education 711 W. Lake St., Studio 308 Minneapolis, MN 55408 (612) 804-0238 www.arenadances.org
Chanhassen Dinner Theatres
The nation's largest professional dinner theater and Minnesota's own entertainment destination. 501 W. 78th St. Chanhassen, MN 55317 (952) 934-1525 www.chanhassendt.com
Children’s Theatre Company
Children’s Theatre Company excites the imagination with world-class family-friendly theatre for kids, teens, and adults.
2400 3rd Ave. S. Minneapolis, MN 55404 (612) 874-0400 www.childrenstheatre.org
Guthrie Theater
Open to the public year-round, the Guthrie produces classic and contemporary plays on three stages. 818 S. 2nd St. Minneapolis, MN 55415 (612) 377-2224 www.guthrietheater.org
Minnesota Opera
World-class opera draws you into a synthesis of beauty; breathtaking music, stunning costumes & extraordinary sets. Performances at the Ordway Music Theater - 345 Washington St. St. Paul, MN 55102 (612) 333-6669
www.mnopera.org
Minnesota Orchestra
Led by Music Director Designate Thomas Søndergård, the Minnesota Orchestra, one of America’s leading symphony orchestras.
1111 Nicollet Mall Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 371-5656, (800) 292-4141 www.minnesotaorchestra.org
Ordway Center for the Performing Arts
Leading performing arts center with two stages presenting Broadway musicals, concerts & educational programs that enrich diverse audiences. 345 Washington St. St. Paul, MN 55102 (651) 224-4222 info@ordway.org www.ordway.org
Twin Cities Gay Men’s Chorus
An award-winning chorus building community through music and offers entertainment worth coming out for! 1430 W. 28th St., Ste. B Minneapolis, MN 55408 (612) 339-SONG (7664) chorus@tcgmc.org www.tcgmc.org
RELIGIOUS & SPIRITUAL
All God’s Children Metropolitan Community Church
A welcoming, inclusive, safe place to explore and discover God’s love for ALL God’s children. 3100 Park Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55407 (612) 824-2673 www.agcmcc.org
Hennepin Avenue United Methodist Church
Everyone is welcome at Hennepin Church! Vibrant Worship. Authentic Community. Bold Outreach. 511 Groveland Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 871-5303 www.hennepinchurch.org
Plymouth Congregational Church
Many Hearts, One Song; Many Hands, One Church. Find us on Facebook and Twitter. 1900 Nicollet Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 871-7400 www.plymouth.org
Spirit Garage
A Christian community of creative, quirky, curious folx where All Means ALL. Sundays, 10:30am.
100 W. 46th St. Minneapolis, MN 55419 bigdoor@spiritgarage.org www.spiritgarage.org
St. Anthony Park United Church of Christ
We are an Open & Affirming, Progressive Christian Community. Real Church. Real People. Real Life. 2129 Commonwealth Ave. St. Paul, MN 55108 (651) 646-7173 www.sapucc.org
Westminster Presbyterian Church
An open and affirming congregation, welcoming persons of all sexual orientations, gender expressions and identities. 1200 Marquette Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403 (612) 332-3421 www.westminstermpls.org
SENIOR LIVING
Senior Community Services
75-year-old nonprofit providing nonmedical services to older adults and their caregivers.
10201 Wayzata Blvd., Ste. 335 Minnetonka, MN 55305 (952) 541-1019 www.seniorcommunity.org/lav
SOCIAL SERVICES
Friends & Co
Fostering meaningful connections for older adults for 50+ years. Offering quick drop-in chat line, phone & visiting companionship services.
2550 University Ave. W., Ste. 260-S St. Paul, MN 55114 (612) 721-1400 www.friendsco.org
Lutheran Social Service of Minnesota
Serving all Minnesotans with individualized services that promote full and abundant lives.
lssmn.org | (651) 642-5990 | (800) 582-5260 Foster Care and Adoption | chlss.org | (651) 646.7771
PICS (Partners in Community Supports) | (651) 967-5060
Pooled Trust | (888) 806-6844
Supported Decision-Making | (888) 806-6844
TRAVEL DESTINATIONS
Westopolis
Minnesota’s Sweet Spot! St. Louis Park & Golden Valley offer exceptional dining, attractions, shopping, hotels and event space.
1660 Hwy 100 S., Ste. 501 St. Louis Park, MN 55416 (952) 426-4047 www.westopolis.org
7:30am-4:30pm
www.inkwellbooksellersco.com 426 E Hennepin Ave, Minneapolis, MN 55414 763-209-8117
October’s Youth Dreams Realized
This October feels like the moment my youthful dreams have come full circle — and as the saying goes, be careful what you wish for.
When I was young, all I wanted was to understand why society so deeply misunderstood us — why people believed we were the green monsters hiding in the dark closet. Moving to New York, I began to learn the answers. I wanted to scream at the world: “Stop oppressing us. Let us live our lives.”
But I didn’t yet know how to begin that process. Then one night at Stonewall, I became an activist — without even knowing what an activist was. Soon after, I joined others in the Gay Liberation Front, and together we became out, loud and proud.
Those three words changed everything. They transformed who we were and set us on a mission to create a community where none existed before. We dreamed that one day everyone could live openly — and that our work would make that possible.
And that’s how I arrived at this October.
There’s much more to my story, of course. But what I find most remarkable now is that I’ve become a witness to history. People want to understand how we got here — and somehow, I’ve become one of the people they turn to for answers.
So what does this October look like? I’ve just returned from a European speaking tour, followed by a trip to Dallas to raise money for LGBTQ youth experiencing homelessness. Then came New York for a documentary shoot and an interview with The Philadelphia Inquirer about a project I’ve been working on with Neil Frauenglass from Visit Philly: creating an LGBTQ visitor center, the Philly Pride Visitor Center, right here in Philadelphia. Yes — it’s real, and it’s opening in 2026.
There’s also been a serious debate over our history and how it’s interpreted, and I’m preparing for a speech in Virginia Beach, a panel in Palm Springs and, to end the month, an event in Hyde Park, New York.
None of this would be possible without the dreams and actions of my youth becoming reality. I’m a lucky man — to have witnessed our community grow from whispers in the shadows to voices that fill the world.
I’m not afraid of the future, because I know where we came from and how we fought for the equality we have today. I know the tools that will keep us moving forward.
So please — keep reading the news. Stay informed. Stay visible. The only way we lose is if we put ourselves back in the closet.
Stand with me — and I promise, brighter days are ahead.
BY JAMES D. ERICKSON
A Light in the Darkness: The Legacy of Matthew Shepard
In the quiet town of Casper, a child took his first breath,
Born to love and to dream, in a world both tender and cold,
Where hope was a seed, but the winds, they howled boldly.
With laughter that rang like a bell, bright and clear in the wind,
A soft ripple through the chaos, as he stood in defiance of sin.
A pilgrim of love, he crossed borders unseen,
A star on the horizon, where hate had once been.
From desert sands to foreign halls, he spread hope’s embrace,
A counselor to the lost, guiding hearts through their grace.
But on that fateful night, darkness chose to strike,
Two men—veiled in hatred, hearts as cold as the night.
Bound to the fence, his blood spilled like a river,
A cruel altar to hate, where even the stars would shiver.
Yet even in tragedy, his spirit would rise,
A call to the world, piercing through hatefilled lies.
From sorrow, strength was born, like a flame set alight,
A blaze of resolve, burning through the night.
His legacy lives on in hearts once broken, now bold,
His message of love—a wildfire, untamed, unrestrained.
For in every heart touched, his message remains:
Replace hate with compassion, let love break the chains.
So let us carry his torch, through the darkest of air,
To honor his legacy, we’ll rise, we’ll repair. For though he has left us, his spirit won’t fade,
In the fight for justice, his light will invade.
©2025 James D. Erickson. All rights reserved.
Photo courtesy of Mark Segal
