LIVE OPTI SPRING 2023
are you bored with your exercise routine?
SMART BUDGET GUIDE
7
STAGES OF GRIEF
Growing with Gabby
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Photo by ToddHull
PARENTING THE OTHER
A Single Mom’s Journey through Parenting a Special Needs Child
REJUVENATE YOUR HOME & MORE
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Contents 6 BORED WITH YOUR ROUTINE? by Angela Berry
9 MORNING ROUTINES 10 SMART BUDGET GUIDE 13 GARDENING IN THE SPRINGTIME 17 by Rebecca McClain
AROMATHERAPY: NATURAL HEALING by Lanelle Henderson
18 PARENTING THE OTHER by Lucy Puglisi
21 LOSING A LOVED ONE by Lanelle Henderson
23 RECIPE: SHRIMP SCAMPI 24 REJUVENATING YOUR HOME 25 ROAD TRIP: A MENTAL ESCAPE 28 TIME TO REBRAND by Rodney Salters
by Lanelle Henderson
by Lanelle Henderson
LIVE OPTI Editor & Publisher Lanelle Henderson Contributors Angela Berry Gabrielle Laster Rebecca McClain Lucy Puglisi Rodney Salters
Contributing Photography Todd Hull, Canva, Oh Nellie Promos LIVEOPTI is published four times a year. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior written consent of the publisher. Copyright 2022 by L'REH & Company, LLC, all rights reserved. Designed and printed in the USA. SUBSCRIPTIONS: LIVEOPTI is published Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall. The cost of a subscription is $20 annually. For information, please contact us at liveoptimag@gmail.com.
Editor’s Note Are you ready to Bloom? Spring has sprung, as it does every year. Are you changing, or should I say improving, like the seasons? Improving yourself and your health. Springtime always reminds me of home, growing up in New York City where after the brisk cold winter the buds of yellow tulips would bloom in front of my high-rise. I looked forward to seeing them every year, it was a sign of Spring. Although the weather pattern has been iffy all over the nation, it resembles life. Some days are cold, some days hot, and some days rainy and windy. I know I have weathered some storms in my time. Some last longer than others, but what I do know for sure, the storm will pass and life will continue. So get up and let's live an optimal life. I love every season, but Spring is rejuvenating...from bare trees to full bloom. It reminds you of the circle of life. I remember a commercial growing up... Don't Mess with Mother Nature. This reminds me to always stay spiritually connected and make every day meaningful. Going on outings with my parents also brings back great memories of NYC. We would visit parks, go fishing, and do outdoor activities with the family. Besides dealing with the effects of pollen, itchy eyes, stuffy nose, etc, which only lasts for a short time, I looked forward to cooking/grilling and being outdoors. I learned early, that ragweed was not my friend. During our road trips in the midnight-blue Monte Carlo, my dad played his 8-track tapes, mostly jazz. Music was always playing, in the car, the home even at my grandparents’ home. I was surrounded by music.
One of my favorite NYC spots is City Island. It’s the place to get great-tasting seafood. The fisherman go out every day, and the shrimp were huge and delicious; you can get them cooked any way you like. With this issue, we kick off our first recipe, Shrimp Scampi. Shrimp boasts a pretty impressive nutrient profile, with high doses of selenium, iron, iodine, phosphorus, niacin, zinc, and magnesium. It has a small amount of omega-3 and omega-6 fats, which may promote brain and heart health.* This recipe was shared by my cousin Rodney, who also loves to cook. We reconnected after his mom passed, just as I was recovering from my seven years and seven stages of grief. Interesting how grieving can bring people together. Although it’s inevitable, we are never ready. Let’s get cooking. We must make sure to live a fulfilling life while we are here to make it all worthwhile. So, put on some music, get in the kitchen, and take a road trip to live our best lives. Let’s get Sprung!
Some of you may know, I love to travel, read and listen to music but at the top of my list is eating. Oh yeah, I love to eat and cook.
Editor *Women's Health https://www.womenshealthmag.com/food/a26413534/is-shrimp-healthy/
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Emotional | Financial | Mental | Physical | Spiritual
Are you bored with your Exercise Routine? by Angela Berry, CPT, CCES
You have been very good with staying with your exercise routine but now, you find it very hard to continue. Your workout should be enjoyable and fun. There are a few things to consider as to why you have gotten to this plateau. Are you doing the same routines? Are your workouts performed in the same locations or environment, such as the gym, boot camps, or classes? Do you consider your workout time as “Work”? Are you putting yourself under pressure for a specific goal for a health reason? Do you get enough rest? Are your goals realistic? When the same exercise stimulus is applied over a period of time, your body adapts and compensates, which means doing the same exercise routine over and over will have the same results, if none at all. The two most important things about exercise are consistency and variety. Being consistent is essential because the best benefits occur when exercise is performed frequently. A variety of exercises on a regular basis will keep the body challenged. Below are a few suggestions to help jump-start your routine: When starting an exercise regimen, rather than focusing on the standard goal of “losing weight and toning up,” choose a fun goal as well. It doesn’t have to be training for a marathon or even a 5K road race. Do something different such as go hiking, sign up for a local obstacle-course event, go dancing, ride your bike, or join a community or organized sports team. This will make your exercise regimen a social experience and incorporate social support. You get the idea. Make short-term goals to help with your long-term goal. If your long-term goal is to lose 20 lbs in six weeks to look good for a vacation or wedding, good luck, especially if you are considered sedentary. Losing 1 lb to 2 lbs per week is the healthiest way to lose. Make a weekly goal such as increasing the resistance or weights in your strength training or running/walking an extra mile. You can even make a workout session goal. For example, adding an extra five minutes to cardio; adding an extra 2 lbs to your weights; or even doing an extra 3 reps or set. Get a dependable “Workout” partner to make you accountable. Notice I said dependable. You want a partner who shows up, puts the work in, and knows how to have fun. This is also a great way to keep your motivation going strong. A dependable workout partner will push you beyond your limits during sessions. You can also join a small personal training group for one or two days a week. 6 Spring 2023 | LIVEOPTI
To get the best results from your workout -- rest, recover, and recharge. Your muscles grow and get stronger after your workout. Ladies, I’m not talking about getting bulked, that’s another topic. Getting stronger muscles means having more energy to burn more fat. This is important when the goal is to lose weight as well as tone. A good night’s sleep helps your body repair muscles that were used in the workout. Not getting the proper amount of rest can increase levels of the hormone cortisol and this can reduce the levels of protein for muscle growth. Take one to two days off per week from exercise and treat yourself to a massage, a walk in the park, or reading a book, etc. Changing your working routine every 12 to 16 weeks will help avoid plateaus while maintaining results. References: Heartcore fitness
New Beginnings
Morning Routines I learned a long time ago, having a morning routine was the basis for the start of a good day. My parents made sure we got a good night's sleep and had a quality breakfast - the most important meal of the day, so we can be alert and focus on our school work. Establishing a meaningful routine takes effort. It takes practice and practice depends on discipline. The key to a morning routine is having a bedtime routine. No television, smartphone, or electronics that are distracting. I recommend black-out curtains to minimize any light peeking through, as well as setting the right temperature and a trip to the bathroom, so you are not getting up in the middle of the night. The quality of our sleep will determine how we feel in the morning. Morning rituals are proven to decrease stress. anxiety, improve sleep and increase productivity and focus. So, get up early, start with a healthy breakfast, exercise, spend time in nature, and make time for yourself. The easiest and most effective routine for me is walking. I recently took a trip to Sandestin Beach. A short getaway for a change of scenery. I checked into my hotel and pulled the curtains back to see the view from my balcony. For the first time, the beach girl was not excited. I needed to find some inspiration. I prepared myself for an early bedtime, taking a nice shower, drinking a cup of chamomile tea, and meditating. My morning goal was to get up early and take a walk on the beach which usually invigorates me. I woke up the next day ready for my walk. Opened the curtains and noticed the sun was still below the horizon. I drank a glass of water, made a cup of coffee, and headed to the beach. My playlist, Back in Balance, is always the right choice, so I put in my AirPods, took a deep breath, and put one foot in front of the other. My target was the end of the beach...is there really an end? I walked for an hour and decided it was time to walk back. As I got closer to the hotel, I decided to sit in the sand and watch the sunrise. There were only a few beach walkers which made the morning perfect to meditate and feel at peace. As the air blew and waves washed ashore, my spirit started to awaken. This was just what I needed. No rushing, just living in the moment. Taking in the seagulls, air, white sand, and water. All nature. There is something magical about walking on the beach, compared to walking on concrete or on a gym track. Your environment has a lot to do with your experience. At home, I walk around my community and listen to the birds sing, even if it's only 20 minutes. This helps gets my mind and spirit clear to focus on my tasks for the day. If you're looking to start anew, take a walk. I recommend, finding that place in nature that makes you come alive. Implement a routine that you can stick to, and keep a journal of your progress. As for me, I am going back to the beach... 9 Spring 2023 | LIVEOPTI
Personal SMART Budget Guide by Rebecca McClain, MBA, PCC, Strategist
With the increased cost of consumer goods due to high-demand and short-supply, caused by the COVID-19 Pandemic, we saw the inflation rate hit a 40-year high in 2022. No doubt you’ve felt the pinch. Given that many wages are also flat, having a spending plan is essential. A budget is a spending plan that tracks your income and expenses. Having a budget is important because it helps to prioritize your spending and reach your financial goals such as creating and maintaining an emergency fund, down payment on a house or investing. A budget need not be complicated. I believe in keeping it simple. It has always worked for me, which is why I created the personal SMART Budget Guide below. Let me define each SMART letter acronym: The “S” stands for STATE IT. This means your budget should be in writing. You can’t track your spending in your head. It should be in a formatted document. The “M” stands for MEAN IT. In other words, “This is meaningful to me; it’s important and I’m going to stick with the plan; I take it seriously.”
10 Spring 2023 | LIVEOPTI
The “A” stands for ADD IT. This means the numbers must add up. If you’ve got more expenses than income, you’re out of balance and you need to do some reallocation. The “R” stands for REACH IT. Your budget must be realistic in order to be reachable. You can’t spend money you don’t have yet such as unresolved child support or an outstanding loan. Don’t include income in your budget until it’s guaranteed. The “T” stands for TIME FRAME. This is the time period that the budget covers. This can be weekly, bi-weekly, semi-monthly or monthly. Download my free SMART Budget Guide template in Google Docs and prepare your own personal budget. The Excel spreadsheet contains a weekly, semi-monthly, and monthly tab. All you need do is drop in your numbers and the calculation is done for you. Personal SMART Budget template download at https://bit.ly/3YTxbql. To view a live illustration of how the SMART Budget works visit https://bit.ly/3n3Atud.
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Gardening in the Springtime My favorite garden activities this time of year! by Gabrielle Laster
Spring or as my family calls it “the new summer” is my absolute favorite time of the year. The name itself was not born until the late 1300s. Spring was originally called Lent or Lent season which derived from an Old English term lengthen, which means to make longer in length according to your very own Dictionary. That term was later thrown out and replaced with the name Springtime, and its meaning is new beginnings when all that is dormant in the winter blooms and rises again. This time of year there are festivals, kites flying, and barbecue grills smoking. Most of all, there are beautiful colors all around. Bright and bountiful flowers of many sorts both perennial and annuals. I have an eye for art and vibrant color expression in the garden and this time of year I get my hands dirty first and sip lemonade with my feet up later enjoying the fruits of my labor. In my last article, I touched base on “Winter Gardening” and provided you all some tips and why it's so important to grow even in the winter. This time around I will be explaining how I use those same tips and then some of my favorite springtime gardening activities. Favorite Thing #1: Tulips, Tulips, Tulips! Time for Tulips and oh, how I love them! Do you know how much I love tulips? Omg, they make me happy! They’re vibrant in color and exquisite in beauty and elegance. Simply wonderful plants. So let's get into it, last year a very good friend of mine gifted me with these yellow, pink/yellow, and almost violet tulip hybrids because I’m so lovable. Well, let us just say they bloomed indoors under my grow lights before I could get them outside because our last frost had not passed at that time. Nonetheless, I still was able to enjoy their beauty and replant them 6-8 inches into the ground, and what a beauty to see them come back up this year to let us know. Spring is here! Tulips have an interesting history, no doubt with their roots deriving from medicinal myths. Yep, tulips were at one time used for medicinal purposes. People actually used them for their sap, to treat coughs and colds using the antiseptic and diuretic properties that the famous flower possesses. It was also used for bee stings and insect bites. They were eaten by the people of Afghanistan to gain strength and today people eat their petals in salads. If you have any pets it’s a bit risky to grow them, because they can make your pet very sick if they eat the bulb. Now I’m not recommending anyone eat these things if they are not FDA-approved or otherwise directed by a physician. Moving on, I love the yellow ones, they are so beautiful. What are some of your favorites? Please connect with me at Growingwithgabby” on Facebook or you can google me at #growingwithgabbyllc Spartanburg SC on LinkedIn and share your favorite flower in the spring and why.
13 Spring 2023 | LIVEOPTI
Favorite Thing #2: Plant new perennials Ok, so what’s a Perennial you ask? A Perennial Plant is a plant that grows every spring like clockwork, and an Annual Plant only blooms to live one season. Now I don’t know about you guys but I work smarter, not harder. I love to be ahead in my garden, so I go ahead and plant my perennial plants so I can enjoy them later. My tulips happen to be one of my perennials, I also planted some yellow daffodils and some purple and pink hyacinths but you can plant whatever adheres to your zone area. I get my dirt worked up and ready by adding some lime pellets right before a good rain sets in to treat my tough sandy red clay. I follow up a couple of days later with some good growing soil this year. I used the blue bag of Miracle Grow you can get from your local Wal-Mart. I also sprinkle a little of my compost that I had made over the winter, top it with mulch and I’m done! Check with your local Plant Nursery and get some of these materials. Shout out to my local nursery Piedmont Farm and Garden they’re so awesome! There are many, many perennials to choose from so get out there and plant them and sip lemonade next spring with me. Favorite Thing #3: Sowing my veggie seeds and trimming my herb garden Today, I have yellow squash and zucchini seeds down and cherry tomatoes, and a few peppers ready to grace the ground this upcoming week due to the funky weather changes in my zone area. Remember, some plants can handle light frost but some can’t. The thing with vegetables is if you put them out there too soon without cover in freezing temps then they may not produce well or die prematurely. So, I’m holding on to them for another few days. I love squash and zucchini with butter and onions fried up the country way like my momma used to make it. So, I grow them every chance I get along with the tomatoes that my kids love to pick and eat. This time of the year is my herb garden's time to shine. I love this garden. I get fresh peppermint, spearmint, oregano, and lemon thyme whenever I want and they all smell incredible. All of these herbs grow back every year and I usually just go in and cut back on the branches a little down to the 4th node. Favorite Thing #4: Give back to Mother Nature in the Springtime Nature compliments any good garden. No matter what your favorite thing to do, somehow you have to pour back into Mama Nature because, after all without her, there would be no us. At least 60 % of our human bodies are water, and everything that is in the periodic table makes up our bodies as well. We come from the Earth and we have the birds and bees and trees that bear fruit, and plump veggies for us to eat. So, it is extremely important we do our part to keep Mother and all her living children happy and healthy. What I like to do is feed the hummingbirds by giving them the sweetest flowers to sip from. I grow hibiscus plants of all colors to attract these beautiful birds who live in our circle of life. The sweet nectar is sugar fluid to hummingbirds, boosting their metabolism. This is why they are so fast and tiny with different mermaid-like colors for feathers. Its my favorite bird and one of my favorite plants--a win, win for me. Some people feed the ducks, and swans, cultivate bee farms, rescue wildlife, fight for our trees, you name it. The mission is to keep nature alive and teach our families all over the world. I like to keep my beds free of leaves and keep them sectioned out away from children or pets. I like to deadhead my flowers as well to keep the vibe going. It makes a tidy garden and a blissful quiet space. Yes, I said it quiet space, I don’t know about you but my garden is my Zen. Enjoy the spring weather, even the upcoming April Showers. Get outside or inside do some spring cleaning, and talk to your plants. Make the best of your 2023 Spring. Start new beginnings and grow new plants. I know some of you have garden favorites too, so… come on. Interact with me and let me know how you get down in your garden with your favorite things to do, and your favorite things to grow in Spring. 14 Spring 2023 | LIVEOPTI
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Friday, April 22, 2022 #SaveEarth
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Aromatherapy: Natural Healing The power of plants and healing holistically By Lanelle Henderson Our Earth is amazing. It has all the components to heal us. Its surface is made up of 71% water, and the remaining 29% consists of continents and islands. Each has its own nutrients and benefits to heal any ailment. I think we forget that the water and soil that grows our plants have healing power.
I had used essential oils during my pregnancy over thirty-four years ago for safety precautions and knew they worked. After changing my diet, I became more intrigued to learn about other natural methods. I started with the basics and now blend with over sixty oils to create the appropriate remedy to heal and embrace nature.
The more I research and experiment, the more I have become a believer. I have first-hand experience that food is medicine. I suffered several childhood illnesses that my mother cured from food and in my early forties, I made the change to my diet after getting off track and instantly noticed improvements.
Visiting various wellness spas here in the States, Caribbean islands, Europe, and the Middle East, I started to notice a pattern that I wanted to incorporate into my daily life. From sun up to sun down, I wanted to change everything to live more naturally and positively. At first, I was considering products only when I traveled so I could have the spa experience no matter where I was, but I have now expanded to my home and car. Surrounding myself with positive aromas and energy has changed my life. My son has seen a drastic change in my energy and well-being which makes him happy. I'm calmer and at peace and now have decided to share my years of learning with a small product line, Spanelle's! Visit Spanelles.com
When I decided to take a holistic approach to my health after several misdiagnoses by doctors, I had to control my own health. Tired of them experimenting on me with pharmaceutical drugs that caused more side effects and no results, it was time I did my own research, and a decade later, I am so thankful I did.
shower power Vitamin C or Eucalyptus infused in your water adds health benefits and is a great way to start your day.
17 Spring 2023 | LIVEOPTI
Parenting the Other
A Single Mom’s Journey through Parenting a Special Needs Child by Lucy Puglisi I sat on the couch trembling, unable to speak as I tried to process the news I heard that day. At fifteen months, my youngest son, Alex had been diagnosed with Fragile X Syndrome; a rare genetic disorder that affects 1 in 7,000 males and 1 in 11,000 females.* Fragile X is an inherited form of intellectual and developmental disability. Our family was one that had drawn the short straw, as I learned my son was categorized as “retarded” by the medical staff who performed the genetic testing and analysis. He might not ever learn to walk and might always be dependent on others for his care, I was told. Devastating. Despite being born a month early and being placed in the transition nursery due to some initial breathing difficulty, Alex rallied and came home with us at the standard two days following birth. Once home, everything was fine. In fact, Alex was a dream baby. Very calm and content. As he got older and started interacting with everyone, he was a very smiley, happy baby, but I started noticing that Alex wasn’t making his developmental milestones. Characteristics like low tone and inability to hold up his head became blaringly obvious as these were still challenges for him as an older baby that should have been further along developmentally. I started mentioning my concerns with his pediatric team, and though my concerns were not dismissed, there was a period in which the doctors wanted to give Alex more time. He was a preemie after all and preemies can take time to catch up to their peer-aged group. We gave Alex plenty of time, but in my gut, I knew
something was wrong. I finally met with a pediatrician who immediately listened to my concerns and began writing scripts for testing. The news of Alex’s Fragile X diagnosis was horrible, but at least we had a name for what was happening with my son. Following Alex’s diagnosis, we tried to support him in every way we knew how and followed our pediatrician’s advice to get him into occupational, speech, and physical therapy as soon as possible, because research suggests early therapy can give kids like Alex a leg up. We also moved to a different school district based on word-of-mouth advice that a specific school was where Alex needed to be. That advice was accurate; Alex went to a wonderful county preschool class. Alex seemed to be in good hands. Unfortunately, following Alex’s graduation from pre-school, he was misplaced into a kindergarten class that was more than he was equipped to handle. His teacher was also a poor match for Alex. She clearly viewed him as an “other” and treated him as such. To further complicate his situation, it was also during Alex’s kindergarten school year that the pandemic hit. All the kids were sent home for virtual learning. Now the kids were home all day, expected to conduct virtual learning while the parents were also home and expected to perform work duties virtually. An impossible situation for all parents, but in my case, Alex’s father and I had gotten divorced; I was a single mother to two boys and all three of us had to be online learning or working. I had to help manage their lessons and their time online while also working. Perhaps most disappointing about how the pandemic was handled by the education administration was the decision to have special needs children “learn” virtually. It’s hard enough for neurotypical children to sit through a virtual school lesson, let alone a 18 Spring 2023 | LIVEOPTI
learning-disabled child with special needs. Virtual learning was a total wash for Alex, and he lost a lot of the skills he had gained at school due to a lack of consistency. Alex is back in school and for now, we have once again found a good fit for him within the county school system where he is supported and even loved by his educational support staff. He is happy. Knowing my child is in a good place certainly removes a lot of stress, but it’s not enough. Through this journey, I have learned critical lessons that will shape how I plan for my son’s future: First, there are resources out there to help parents like me, but we parents have to dig for them. Caring for special needs children is not a mainstream topic and it is on Alex’s father and me to research for him. Additionally, we must be willing to make accountable those charged with Alex’s care. Most people are innately good and want to do the right thing, but sometimes they don’t know what the right thing is and sadly some will lean toward doing what is easiest and not necessarily what is right. Parents of special needs children must be 100% involved in their child’s care and education and be at the helm in managing the decisions made for their child, regardless of whether your child is in public or private therapy and education. A final lesson to consider for Alex’s future is cost. A local private school that I feel would be perfect for Alex has tuition of around $4k-6k a month. Yes, there are tuition assistance programs, but given the median household income for our area is $65,030 annually (in 2021 dollars)**, even with tuition assistance, most family incomes cannot sustain tuition that would take up a substantial portion of that annual household income. Our family must rely on public education and though Alex’s current education is working for him, our family is at the mercy of what is provided to us.
Cost is also a consideration when thinking about childcare. Parents of neurotypical children usually age out of the need for childcare at some point. Not so for our family - Alex will always need supervision as he cannot be left alone due to his disabilities. Given I am a single mom whose career requires working outside the home, childcare causes me to hemorrhage money, especially in the summertime when Alex is out of school. The cost of Alex’s childcare per month is the equivalent of many people’s mortgages. And guess what? That expense is not going away for us. All these challenges are my reality, and I must plan carefully for Alex’s future care. I must do everything I can to save money and leave behind clear directives to ensure his safety and happiness. Is it tough? Yes, and I realize that I must also take care of myself to not only enhance my own quality of life, but the lives of my sons as well. My boys get the best of me when I make sure the stress of our family challenges doesn’t take me out. I make sure I get lots of exercise; I’m an avid runner and I have also begun to swim laps with an intermural team again. Having young sons, especially a child who cannot be left alone can cause roadblocks to finding time to exercise. When is a parent supposed to get a workout? Sometimes you must think outside the box. The office where I work has a shower. I run during my lunch break and clean up before coming back to work for the rest of the day. When my sons are with their father, I use that opportunity to make the swim team practices and swim starting at 5:30 a.m. before I go to work. Some might see my workout routine as extreme, but I believe my physical and mental health are important. I deserve to be fit and happy and my kids deserve
have a mom that is doing everything she can to have a longer, high-quality life. This mom plans to be around for a while. I also make sure I plug into my support network. I have done a good job of connecting with people who I call real friends; those ride-or-die people who know how to offer reciprocal support. My friends are emotionally available and invested in me and my family - some have been with me for decades. Part of making sure I’m plugged into a support network is also reaching out to my therapist when I need her. She too has been with me for years, knows my kids and has been with me through the struggle of my son’s diagnosis, my divorce, and my subsequent single mom years. It is critical to have someone to talk to, because keeping pain and stress sequestered in our bodies makes us sick physically, psychologically, and spiritually. And speaking of spirituality and mindfulness, I make sure I give myself time for stillness. I meditate. Whether that meditation is done through immersing myself in nature on a quiet, solo hike in the mountains or a noisy group hike with my kids – being in nature heals me. I like to sit quietly and journal, and sometimes if I’m lucky, it works out for me to attend a sound bath or yoga session. In short, I think it’s important we give back to ourselves. Being a special needs parent can be scary and stressful, but I refuse to let those pieces of the experience own me or my family – we must keep going. The silver lining in all this is that Alex is a wonderful, innocent soul who is truly a gift from God. His disabilities will likely keep Alex at home
into his adulthood and I have the comfort of knowing I get to keep this baby with me. My greatest wish for Alex is for him to receive the acceptance and love he gets from his inner circle on the outside of that circle as well. What I would like others to know about our family and how to interact with us is this: humans innately analyze our environment. We assess and label – it’s how we’re built, but I would also like to remind everyone that humans are also capable of critical thought, deep emotion, and genuine connection to one another. My son gets labeled as “other” because he behaves differently than kids in his peer-age group, but if you think about what being intellectually disabled means, Alex is behaving no differently than where he is developmentally. True, Alex’s body is older, but cognitively, he’s much younger, like a toddler in many ways. It all comes down to our perceptions and expectations. We don’t bat an eye when a toddler behaves a certain way, but when an older child might exhibit similar behavior due to his/her cognitive exceptionalities, human nature is to label and categorize that child as “other”. I invite those to think more sympathetically about my son – he is exactly where he is supposed to be in his developmental journey. He and his family are okay with that, and so should you be. Dismiss the concept of “other” and turn your expectations into acceptance. My child is the embodiment of the great love that our creator has to offer us and truly seeing Alex and accepting him for who he is could invite that love into your own life. Choose love.
Sources: *“Data and Statistics on Fragile X Syndrome.” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. June 3, 2022, https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/fxs/data.html#:~:text=The%20exact%20number%20of%20people,have%20been%20diagnosed%20with%20FXS. **Table - United States Census Bureau QuickFacts (2021 dollars), https://www.census.gov/quickfacts/fact/table/GA/INC110221
20 Spring 2023 | LIVEOPTI
LOSING A LOVED ONE Growing through the grieving By Lanelle Henderson It was seven years since my mom passed away and I was finally coming out of a rollercoaster of emotions. The first few years were extremely difficult. I closed my office, put my business on pause, and only worked with my VIP clients to maintain my living expenses. After much advice, I decided to join an in-person and online support group. The online group was exclusive to caregivers of frontotemporal dementia. They were very transparent and shared many examples of the issues they experienced with their loved ones (LO). The online group was better than the doctors and nursing facility when it came to explaining what was actually happening physically and cognitively. I truly believe if the medical professionals shared expectations in the beginning, I would have been better prepared for how to process my emotions when Mom passed away. Just when I'd think I was getting better, I would slide back into a depression. I tried to do things to keep myself busy, but I soon realized I was canceling and finding excuses to stay home. A friend and family member recommended I go to a doctor for a prescription. This was not an option for me. Since I am not a fan of pharmaceutical drugs, I didn't want anything to mask my issues and cause me more side effects. I was going to go through the process and find a way to cope.
At the three-year mark, my son was getting concerned. I desperately needed to reemerge with a different focus. Instead of focusing on what I could've done better or missing Mom, I started remembering all the great times and the memories we shared. Then I asked for help. I scheduled an appointment with a licensed therapist to discuss my issues and find some steps to help me through the grieving and healing process. The seven stages of grieving* are: 1. Shock & Denial 2. Pain & Guilt 3. Anger & Bargaining 4. Depression, Reflection & Loneliness 5. The Upward Turn 6. Reconstruction & Working Through 7. Acceptance & Hope I started gathering the photo albums to create a coffee-table book but, then transitioned to writing down the memories and lessons Mom taught me. This led me to write and self-publish my mom's memoir, Babs. I laughed, cried, and reflected on how much we achieved in our forty-six years together. Although I wanted much more time, we managed to get so much accomplished. These were the words I shared with my mom the day before she passed. Now, I can channel my energy to sharing the blessings of an extraordinary woman. *Source: Recover From Grief
21 Soring 2023 | LIVEOPTI
"More than Spinach" Cookbook What your doctors don't tell you.
EN
TH
KITC
H
E
IN
e l l e n La Shrimp Scampi 4 servings
30 minutes
INGREDIENTS
DIRECTIONS
1 lb Shrimp
1. Heat olive oil and 2 tablespoons of butter in a
1 lemon
large pan or skillet. Add fresh minced garlic
1/4 stick of butter
and sauté until fragrant (about 30 seconds - 1
1 tbsp Red pepper flakes flakes 1/4 cup of dry white wine Fresh garlic Fresh parsley
minute. Don't burn the garlic). Then add the shrimp, season with salt and pepper to taste and sauté for 2 minutes on each side (until just beginning to turn pink), then flip. 2. Pour in Dry white wine (or white cooking
Spaghetti/linguine
wine, and add red pepper flakes. Bring to a
Salt and pepper to taste
simmer for 1-2 minutes or until wine reduces by about half and the shrimp is cooked through (don't overcook your shrimp). 3. Stir in the remaining butter, fresh lemon juice, and parsley, and take off the heat immediately. 4. Serve over pasta, linguine or spaghetti.
NOTES Compliment with garlic bread or steamed vegetables (Snow peas, Broccoli, Bok Choy, Asparagus, Spinach)
Recipe by Rodney Salters
Rejuvenating Your Home Spring preparing and decorating can be therapeutic by Rodney Salters Spring has sprung a time of rebirth as the natural
sentimental items. But when you're done you'll
world wakes up and revives after hibernating in
have more space less stuff and a greater sense
the winter months. In spring, our days start
of calm. Begin by sorting into categories. (1.
getting longer flowers to begin to bloom and
Garbage 2.Giveaway 3. Store away). Decluttering
warmer weather allows us to spend more time
your entire home can be a stressful process.
enjoying the outdoors. After spending months
Move the clutter out as soon as possible,
inside during the cold and dreary season it's
whether it's bringing a donation box to a charity
finally time to rejuvenate your home. Spring
or planning a yard sale.
preparing and decorating can be therapeutic for you and for your home. Here are a few steps I
3. Decorating
recommend to begin the process.
Spring decorating doesn't have to be
1. Deep cleaning Pull out that bucket, and a pair of rubber gloves and grab your cleaning tools, Open the windows and welcome the fresh air into your home. Allow that stale air from the colder months to finally be released. Spring cleaning has been a tradition that allows us to freshen up our homes. Start in the kitchen. Discard expired or any unwanted food from the fridge into the garbage. Use fresh scented bleach or a safe homemade product to purify the fridge after removing items you no longer need; this will help get rid of food bacteria and spillage. Get in those hard-to-reach places like wiping or moping underneath the refrigerator and stove. Wipe down walls and window seals, where toxic dust may have accumulated. Clean room by room. After an intense deep clean not only does your home look good, you feel good as well. 2. Organize and clear clutter No matter how hard we try to keep our homes tidy and organized, clutter inevitably creeps in over time. Not only is it unsightly but clutter can actually lead to increased stress levels. Decluttering your entire home can be a stressful process in itself especially when it comes to
24 Spring 2023 | LIVEOPTI
complicated or pricey. Use what you have to create a look you love filled with the fresh
vibrancy of spring. After a long winter, it feels amazing to give your home a little refresh. It softens your home and makes it feel light and airy, like a spring breeze. Paint a room. if you have a weekend to spare consider repainting a room for a quick and easy makeover. Green is the color of rejuvenation and rebirth and the perfect choice for welcoming spring. Try plants. It can be challenging to keep plants alive when the air turns crisp and the daylight fades away. If you've sacrificed a few houseplants to the winter season, replace them with new greenery. Before you buy make sure to pick the right plants for your lighting to ensure they survive next spring. Put away those dark heavy throws, blankets, and sheets. Replace them with lighter fabrics, such as cotton or linen fabrics. Layering whites and earth tones can be a great way to add a pop of color while still keeping your space neutral. Neutrals
work best paired with moody darks, whites, or mid-tone shades. Clean-line furniture also has an important role in any home. It demonstrates a fresh and elegant look of cleanliness. 4. Aroma Fresh-scented candles add an aroma of cleanliness to any home. Walking into a space that's scented, triggers pleasant emotions for most of us. Indeed aroma changes our mood, relaxes us, and even takes us back to a specific memory. It gives any room an instant uplift. Aromas like peppermint, lavender, and fresh linen scents are my favorites, they are less expensive and also simple to make at home. I usually purchase from department stores like Marshall's, T.J. Maxx, Ross, or HomeGoods. Their prices are less expensive and there are many selections to choose from.
25 Spring 2023 | LIVEOPTI
The Great Mental Escape By Lanelle Henderson The first road trip that I can remember I was seven
When I need a mental break, taking a road trip is
years old. The family was going to visit our family
my first choice. Researchers have found that
in South Carolina, then to my aunt Lena‘s in
traveling to destinations known and unknown
Florida. We would also be going to Disney World
can help improve brain health.* For an
for the first time. I was so excited--my parents,
impromptu trip, usually within 200 miles, I’ll pick
grandparents, aunts, and cousins, were all packed
a destination with a spa, make a reservation,
up in two vehicles and headed down I-95 from
and pack my weekender and goodies bag. I plug
New York City. Sandwiches and snacks were
the address into my GPS, select my CDs/music
packed, along with sketch pads, coloring books,
for the road, and wake up early to beat the rush
pencils, crayons, and games like Old Maid cards to
hour.
keep us busy. I recall using the remaining pages in my composition notebook, to write down all the
I love the springtime when I can drop the top on
license plate numbers of all the different cars on
my convertible. The wind blowing through my
the road. The most popular cars were station
hair, and taking deep breaths while enjoying the
wagons.
scenery, puts me in a relaxing state. Traveling is a powerful remedy for improving and
When it started to get dark, we would check into a
maintaining your mental health.*
Holiday Inn hotel. We took these trips regularly and became my favorite memories.
If you haven’t taken a road trip lately, and are
26 Spring 2023 | LIVEOPTI
feeling stressed, I recommend taking a quick trip. If my schedule doesn't allow for an overnight trip, I will get in the car, order my favorite frappuccino and take a 2-hour ride somewhere scenic. I usually schedule my trips either early morning before rush hour and sunrise or mid-day because most people are at work by nine so after 9:30 a.m., you have some good time to driving time from 10 o'clock to 2 o’clock depending on where you are going and the traffic patterns.
I love Google Maps. It gives a lot of detail, like miles and time and alternate routes. Depending
I just love exploring different places and checking
on the time of day, it will also show you if there
out the scenery. This is the freedom I seek.
is traffic. You can send the mapped-out plan to your mobile device to save time from reentering
Having a plan is important. Even for my
the info, email it, or print it out.
impromptu trips, I make sure I have a destination in mind. One time, I randomly took an exit and
Depending on the distance/destination, I may
went down a road that started to feel very eerie.
rent a vehicle. Rental car agencies frequently
Everything in my mind and body told me, I needed
maintain their vehicles but if I use my own, I
to get back to the main road. I made a turn into
always make sure to get it serviced. Here are a
the nearest parking lot to turn around. Some
few things I do before getting on the road.
places you may not want to explore, so make sure you have a destination in mind.
Car Care Tips Before you go… Get the car serviced Check under the hood Check and replenish fluid levels Get my oil and filter changed Check your air filter Check tire pressure and threads Test battery Double check car care kit, cables, etc Clean out the trunk and check spare Stock bottles of water…just in case. Enjoy the drive!
Oh, don't forget your charger!
CUSTOM GIFTS FOR ANY OCCASION
MOTHER'S DAY FATHER'S DAY GRADUATIONS WEDDINGS & MORE Contact Antoinette Kelly for ideas. Email tonistouch4u@gmail.com
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TIME TO REBRAND Sprucing up your company image By Lanelle Henderson
Like many businesses, your company may evolve with new products and services. As the world changes, so should your vision. This new vision may have a different outlook that requires an updated brand. Think about a few companies like Dunkin' Donuts, Weight Watchers, and Google. Not only did the look change but so did their products and services. Your brand is more than a logo or imagery on a sign, product, website, or brochure. It's the feeling that exudes from the end user. I remember attending an event and meeting a lady to whom I handed my business card. She burst out in excitement when reading I was the president. She shared a recent experience she encountered with my team, Darryl and Yvette, at a conference. She continued to tell me how friendly, professional, and knowledgeable they were and proceeded to express her enthusiasm about the promotional products she received. She was very impressed and honored to meet me. This feedback gave me excitement too. My team was out in the public, providing a quality experience that people were proud of. Now, that is the power of a brand!
29 Spring 2023 | LIVEOPTI
In my decades of marketing and branding companies, from startups, small businesses, and international organizations, the one thing that I require, is the company live up to its values and provide the best customer experience. I have parted ways with a few companies, that did not understand that the customer(s) determine if your business with remain open or closed. In the day of online reviews, most people will do an online search before visiting or ordering from a company. So it's in the company's best interest to deliver a quality and "WOW" experience. If they were willing to make the change, great, I will continue to work with them, but if they didn't care, why should I? I can only do so much to help gain the business... it's up to the client to keep the business coming back. Recently, a client asked me to upgrade her company image. Although her logo was obviously homemade and way too busy, we wanted to make sure the presence of what her company offered, went beyond just a new logo. We scheduled a session to discuss her vision and what services she wanted to offer. She was also overwhelmed with the time commitment of using social media and needed to figure out the best
way to grow her audience. After a couple of phone sessions and face-to-face visits, her rebrand was complete. We also provided a strategy to streamline her customer relations, database, and e-commerce solutions so she could easily manage her accounting. When I go out in the public, I also make sure I am in the best mood. This too can affect your business. People may not remember what you say, but they will remember how you made them feel, so I always make sure an encounter with me is positive. You can get business from grocery shopping, playing golf, playing with your children, or just running errands. If you're out and about, use the opportunity to gain new business. I never heard anyone say, they have enough clients. And if they do, please share their business with me. I'm curious to research their business.
When was the last time you did an audit of your business? Have you reviewed your online presence, website, social sites, marketing materials, and client reviews? I recommend doing this regularly. Especially online reviews.
I am strategic when I go out to events and network. Not all business is good business, but if you are trying to gain the right clientele, you need to be in the right place at the right time.
Has it been more than a year? What can you improve? Have you added any new products or services? What are your client's saying?
So, what is rebranding? Rebranding is the process of updating and improving a company's or product's identity and/or position in the marketplace. This may include the logo, website, social media accounts, packaging, marketing materials, and message. In a changing market, you want to make sure to align your goals with the right audience.
If you are thinking about starting a business, creating a plan early is the best approach, so you don't have to rebrand soon. Think about your short-term and long-term goals: Why do you want to start a business? What is your purpose? What solution do you want to solve? Is there a demand for your product/service?
In my early years of business and starting to promote to new small business owners, I would often hear people say, everyone is my customer. This is not true. There are not too many one size-fit-all products or services. Because if your price point is high, you are not getting a client that cannot afford you. This is why many companies offer different tiers of products and there is competion.
My business started in 2003, as the Welcome Lady, greeting new homeowners with a welcome basket, filled with marketing materials and products from local and national businesses to help them get acclimated in their new environment. Then the 2008 housing crash changed my direction. My technology, sales, and marketing background allowed me to restructure the business with clients asking for a marketing consultant. I added promotional products, then consulting and training, and when the pandemic hit, I launched online courses and recently added a concierge service. As the market changes, you too must change. When I started, I did not know I would open an academy. My in-person workshops came to a halt, so I had to adapt to stay relevant.
I share my twenty years in business, in my new book, Plan. Promote. Profit. Pre-order your copy today at bit.ly/planpromoteprofit! 30 Spring 2023 | LIVEOPTI
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