Los Angeles Magazine - December 2022

BLACK VS BROWN THE STRUGGLE BEHIND THE CITY HALL SCANDAL

BY SAM QUINONES AND PETER KIEFER

IT’S A WRAP! OUR 9-PAGE HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

LAUREN GRAHAM ON L.A.’S LOVE AFFAIR WITH BOOBS

WHAT YOUR CAR SAYS ABOUT YOU (MUCH MORE THAN YOU THINK)

PLUS: L.A.’s best-selling rides; censored vanity plates; new, Tesla-killing electrics; the scourge of street racing; and a truckload of other auto erotica

LEGACY MACHINE SEQUENTIAL EVO Groundbreaking dual chronograph Unprecedented range of timing modes Patented Twinverter binary switch and internally-jewelled clutch shafts Zirconium case, FlexRing damping system 80m water resistance, 585 components

D E C E M B E R 202 2

PRIDE & PREJUDICE

60

Boobs of the ’90s A celebrated comedic actress gets something off her chest that’s been sagging her spirits for years—L.A.’s overinflated obsession with mammaries

BY L AU R E N G R A H A M

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Black vs Brown The secretly recorded tapes that blew up the L.A. City Council are filled with hateful smears and racial resentments. Why are old-guard Latino politicians so angry at their African American neighbors? It goes back 40 years

BY SA M Q U I N O N E S AND PETER KIEFER

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The Car Issue What Your Car Says About You

» In L.A., you are what you drive. Or are you?

In this car-crazy town, your ride can be a rolling status proxy or a shrewd masquerade for faking it till you make it. It all depends on which lane you choose

BY TARA WEINGARTEN PAGE 73

Power Trips

» Facing a 2035 deadline for zero-emission vehicles, automakers are charging up their EV game with electrifying options

BY MICHAEL WALKER PAGE 84

The Sound and the Fury

» A new bill signed into law

by Governor Newsom may finally silence those excruciatingly noisy sports cars and motorcycles

BY JORDAN MULA PAGE 80

Bonfire of the Vanity Plates

» The DMV actually screens every personalized plate application for surreptitious naughtiness. We reveal the tags that got the hook

BY SAM BRASLOW PAGE 86

P R O T E S T: B R I A N VA N D E R B R U G / L O S A N G E L E S T I M E S V I A G E T T Y I M A G E S ; G R A H A M : B R I A N B O W E N S M I T H /A U G U S T

Pastor Thembekila Coleman-Smart speaks as protesters demand L.A. councilman Kevin de León’s resignation in October.

D E C E M B E R 202 2

Buzz Mrs. Grossman Regrets

› A Hidden Hills socialite

goes on trial for murder after a high-speed chase leads to the death of two small children

BY JASON MCGAHAN PAGE 17

B OY WO N D E R

Gabriel LaBelle channels young Steven Spielberg in The Fabelmans.

Brief

› How Kanye West’s deal

with Dov Charney came undone; is Bill Murray a comedy legend or a legendary dick?

PAGE 20

Liquid Gold

› How a millennial marketer repackaged humble bottled water into the most profitable drink in L.A.

BY JOSEPHINE TASSONI PAGE 24

Gift Guide » From handmade chocolate paired with wine and a skateboard shaped like Cali to a cool joint holder and a trove of tinned fish, we scoured the city to find the perfect present for everyone on your list.

PAGE 46

Ask Chris Hot Dog on a Stick torn down? What happened to the sculpture garden at Forest Lawn? Our resident historian answers all your burning questions.

Incoming!

BY CHRIS NICHOLS PAGE 104

BY SAM QUINONES AND PETER KIEFER

IT’S A WRAP! OUR 9-PAGE HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

BLACK VS BROWN

LAUREN GRAHAM ON L.A.’S LOVE AFFAIR WITH BOOBS

THE STRUGGLE BEHIND THE CITY HALL SCANDAL

BY SAM QUINONES AND PETER KIEFER

IT’S A WRAP! OUR 9-PAGE HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

LAUREN GRAHAM ON L.A.’S LOVE AFFAIR WITH BOOBS

THE CAR ISSUE

WHAT YOUR CAR SAYS ABOUT YOU

WHAT YOUR CAR SAYS ABOUT YOU

(MUCH MORE THAN YOU THINK)

(MUCH MORE THAN YOU THINK)

PLUS: L.A.’s best-selling rides; censored vanity plates; new, Tesla-killing electrics; the scourge of street racing; and a truckload of other auto erotica

PLUS: L.A.’s best-selling rides; censored vanity plates; new, Tesla-killing electrics; the scourge of street racing; and a truckload of other auto erotica DECEMBER 2022

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THE STRUGGLE BEHIND THE CITY HALL SCANDAL

DECEMBER 2022

PAG E 3 1

BLACK VS BROWN

THE CAR ISSUE

› What David Hockney painted during lockdown; L.A.’s most dazzling Christmas light shows; eight extraordinary wines to bring you comfort and joy; Bub and Grandma’s proves that man can live by bread alone; what to eat, drink, watch, and do for the holidays; and more.

ON THE COVER Illustrated by Neil Jamieson

PHO T O GR A PH E D BY C OR I NA M A R I E

S T Y L I S T: A L I S O N B R O O K S / E X C L U S I V E A R T I S T; G R O O M I N G : K I N D R A M A N N / T M G - L A ; S P E C I A L T H A N K S : J O H N L A U T N E R ’ S G A R C I A H O U S E , 1 9 6 2 J O H N M C I LW E E & B I L L D A M A S C H K E

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Editor’s Note

L

BY MAER ROSHAN

I K E MO S T people, I got

my driver’s license in high school. But unlike most people, I didn’t drive again for the next 30 years.

I spent most of my adult life in New York City, where the only cars I rolled around in were bright yellow and had a ticking meter next to the driver. Occasionally, when I got lucky, I might get a ride in the back seat of a company town car or, even more occasionally and even more luckily, on the back of a Harley. But for the most part, like most New Yorkers, I got around by subway.

Then, a decade ago, I moved to L.A. and suddenly found myself sitting behind a steering wheel. At first, it was a little nerve-racking. To be honest, I was never a particularly good driver, even as a teenager—it was actually a small miracle that I passed my road test. My first car was an ancient, tanker-size Chevy gifted to me by my grandma. A year later, after driving it into the front window of a (closed) kosher deli, I decided I was done with cars. But, it turned out, they weren’t done with me.

Needless to say, my first excursions on the 405 were terrifying. But the more I motored around Los Angeles, the more I felt like a high-school kid again, rediscovering the giddy exhilaration of acceleration, the crazy liberation of being able to go wherever I wanted to go whenever I wanted to go there.

14 L A M A G.C O M

“My first car was a tankersize Chevy from my grandma.

A year later, I drove it into the front window of a (closed) kosher deli.”

Of course, mostly where I went was from my home to the office, with periodic stops at Whole Foods. But never mind.

These days, the time I spend in my Mini is often the most fulfilling and productive of my day, even when I’m stuck in traffic. It’s where I do my best thinking, where I can get away from it all (meaning, you know, other people). It’s where I blast hip-hop and Howard Stern, Nirvana and NPR. Most important, it’s where I learned all about L.A., a sprawling, magical cityscape literally built for drivers.

This month, we’re publishing our first-ever car issue. Given how obsessive Angelenos are about their automobiles, I was surprised to learn that we hadn’t done one before. Inside these pages, you can learn all about the hottest new electric vehicles, how vanity license plates get censored, and which cars and colors are the most (and least) popular among auto buyers, plus—in Tara Weingarten’s cover story—marketing experts and auto aficionados reveal what the car you’re currently tooling around in is telling the world about you. (Believe me, it’s more than you think.)

Once you zip through all that, there are lots of other interesting stops inside our December issue. As L.A.’s bombshell city council scandal continues to make national news, Sam Quinones and Peter Kiefer take a deep dive into the long-festering racial resentments that were exposed on those shocking audiotapes. And on the eve of Rebecca Grossman’s upcoming trial, Jason McGahan speaks to the Hidden Hills socialite who faces life in prison after an alleged drag-racing incident that resulted in the tragic deaths of two young boys.

Elsewhere, you’ll find an essay by Gilmore Girls actress turned author Lauren Graham about L.A.’s other great obsession—boobs; our carefully curated, nine-page holiday gift guide; and a Q&A with the 20-yearold actor who stars as a teenage Steven Spielberg in The Fabelmans, the director’s autobiographical new drama.

So, without further ado, start your engines, take your foot off the break, and go.

Maer Roshan, Editor-in-Chief P H O T O G R A P H E D B Y L E N K A U L R I C H O VA

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12.22

Mrs. Grossman Regrets A HIDDEN HILLS SOCIALITE BECAME A PARIAH AFTER HER SPEEDING MERCEDES KILLED TWO SCHOOL-AGED KIDS. NOW SHE IS FIGHTING FOR HER OWN LIFE.

BY JA S O N M C G A H A N

P H O T O G R A P H E D BY I A N S PA N I E R

L A M AG . C O M 1 7

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LEGAL BRIEFS

T

H I S I S N O T the sort of life Rebecca

Grossman was supposed to be living.

The 58-year-old former flight attendant turned socialite was meant to be spending her middle years enjoying the bounties of upper-class privilege. Married to one of L.A.’s most successful plastic surgeons—Dr. Peter H. Grossman, founder of the famous Grossman Burn Center, where actress Anne Heche was taken after a high-speed crash in Mar Vista in August—she had everything a real housewife of Hidden Hills could possibly want: a $7.6 million nine-bedroom ranch house in a gated community right next door to a movie star (well, Lori Loughlin), a thriving family (two teenage kids and an adopted daughter—a young burn victim Grossman and her husband adopted from Afghanistan in 2002 so that she could be treated at Peter’s hospital—two horses, five dogs, and a 100-pound turtle), a wardrobe that would have Lisa Vanderpump biting her knuckles with envy, and an expensive—and, as it would turn out, fatefully fast—Mercedes coupe.

But then, Rebecca Grossman’s perfect life became a perfect nightmare. “Everything changed in a split second—overnight,” she tells Los Angeles during a half-hour Zoom call from her lawyer’s office in October.

Exactly what transpired will soon be litigated in court—Grossman is expected to go on trial for two counts of murder, among other charges, in March—but here are the basics as we know them. On the evening of September 29, 2020, witnesses saw Grossman zigzagging at 80 miles an hour in her GLE43 along Saddle Mountain Drive and Triunfo Canyon Road in Westlake Village, a few minutes from her home. Another car, a black SUV, was also spotted, allegedly racing with Grossman in what some are describing as a frisky game of cat and mouse. At exactly 7:10 p.m., six minutes after dusk, Grossman’s car struck and killed two children—Mark Iskander, 11, and Jacob Iskander, 8—who’d been skateboarding and rollerblading on the street as the rest of their family walked nearby, coming from a trip to a nearby lake.

Beyond those cold, hard, tragic facts, the rest of the story is, not surprisingly, hotly contested. Did Grossman, as prosecutors are charging, try to restart her stalled Mercedes in an attempt to flee the scene of the accident?

Or was it, as Grossman contends, the towing company that later restarted her car? And what was Grossman’s relationship to the driver of the black SUV, retired Dodgers pitcher Scott Erickson, who’s been charged with a reckless-driving misdemeanor for his part in the incident? Were they longtime friends, as Grossman insists? Or was she having an extramarital affair with Erickson, as the Iskanders have asserted in a separate multimillion-dollar civil suit. “People have tried to make it something it wasn’t,” Grossman says, denying any romantic involvement.

All we know for sure is that before the accident, Grossman and Erickson had been seen drinking margaritas together at a Mexican restaurant in Westlake 1 8 L A M AG . C O M

1

Village, along with another retired baseball player, Royce Clayton, who turns out to be head coach at the Oaks Christian School where Mark Iskander was in fifth grade and Grossman’s own son attends high school. (Grossman’s blood-alcohol levels, according to a test administered after the accident, were not above California’s limit for driving.)

“There is a lot of hate and anger out there,” Grossman says, speaking softly and carefully, a slight Texas twang in her voice. (She grew up in Odessa, Texas, and attended Texas Tech University before moving to L.A. and earning a broadcast journalism certificate from UCLA.) Although no stranger to media attention, this is Grossman’s first major interview since the incident—or at least the first since a story about her in a Westlake magazine, Southern California Life, got pulled six days after publication amid online backlash. “And that hate stems from believing everything that’s been put out there about who I am: that I have no remorse, that I’m this monster, that this hasn’t affected my life, that I just go about my every day as if this never happened.” She adds, “That’s just not true.”

Grossman’s life has clearly been upended by what happened on Saddle Mountain Drive. For one thing, she’s become something of a pariah in her own neighorhood.

Friends from the charity galas that Grossman used to regularly throw for her husband’s burn center suddenly stopped calling. Volunteers from the Hidden Hills homeowners’ association have reportedly been warning residents of the area—like Kylie Jenner—to “exercise caution” around Grossman.

Grossman has found herself so isolated that the only

G R O S S M A N S : Z U M A P R E S S .CO M ; E R I C K S O N : R O B L E I T E R / M L B V I A G E T T Y I M AG E S ; C A R : CO U R T E SY LO S A N G E L E S CO U N T Y S H E R I F F ’ S D E PA R T M E N T

BUZZ

W H E E L O F M I S F O RT U N E

1. Rebecca and Peter Grossman in 2016. 2. Former Dodgers pitcher Scott Erickson has been charged with reckless driving in the incident.

3. Nancy and Karim Iskander leaving Grossman’s preliminary hearing last April. 4. Grossman’s Mercedes after the incident. 5. Mark and Jacob Iskander, the brothers killed by the crash.

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M A R K A N D JACO B I S K A N D E R : A R C H A N G E L M I C H A E L CO P T I C O R T H O D OX C H U R C H O F V E N T U R A CO U N T Y; I S K A N D E R S : M E L M E LCO N / LO S A N G E L E S T I M E S V I A G E T T Y I M AG E S

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and that she be put behind bars while waiting for trial. solace she can find is from strangers like the Uber driver Even some of the judges involved in the case have who pulled over to the side of the road and prayed with her expressed frustration with its slow pace; at a September on that tragic evening.

2021 hearing, Judge Shellie Samuels admonished And then there is the crushing guilt; she says her part Grossman for failing to show up for five scheduled court in the accidental death of two children—and she does appointments. “I have never seen Ms. Grossman,” she insist it was accidental—has weighed so heavily on her that fumed. “She has not been to court once.” she “couldn’t function in any way.” A year after the crash, A few months later, Grossman’s case was Grossman’s mother died from complications delayed again, after Hutton became ill and linked to Alzheimer’s and that triggered passed away, forcing Grossman to hire a Grossman’s fears that the trauma of the “The thought of new lawyer, Tony Buzbee, the attorney who accident had caused her own dementia. represented two dozen women accusing for“The thought of taking the easy way out taking the easy mer Houston Texans quarterback Deshaun crossed my mind,” she admits, breaking down way out crossed Watson of sexual misconduct. in tears as she confesses to having suicidal my mind.

But the wait for a trial may soon be thoughts. “It still does from time to time.”

It still does.” coming to an end. This past September, “She cries every day,” her husband says. a Superior Court judge rejected the “She is in an emotional prison that she may Grossman defense team’s motion to have never be able to get out of.” the murder charges against her reduced to vehicular manOf course, the Iskanders have endured much worse slaughter. Judge Joseph Brandolino found that there was over the last two years. Nancy and Karim Iskander not probable cause to determine that Grossman acted with only lost two of their four children, but they’ve also had to implied malice rather than merely gross negligence. If conendure an excruciatingly slow legal process in their quest victed as charged, Grossman could face as many as 34 years for what they see as justice. They believe Grossman’s in prison. high-priced defense team—at one point headed by top As far as Nancy Iskander is concerned, it still won’t be L.A. DUI attorney Richard Hutton—have been slowenough. “The car never stopped when the boys were hit walking the proceedings, and there are many who agree. or in the aftermath. One minute, he was skating; the next Some 54,000 people have signed a Change.org petition minute, he was lying there,” she testified about Mark at a launched by women from Westlake Village demandpretrial hearing last April, pausing before adding, “I will say ing, among other things, that Grossman’s mug shot be it—dead.” released to the public, that her $2 million bail be revoked, L A M AG . C O M 1 9

The Brief N E W S & N O T E S F R O M A L L OV E R

KANYE’S SHIRT HITS THE FAN (AND OTHER YE ATROCITIES) HOW THE RAPPER’S DEAL WITH LOS ANGELES APPAREL’S DOV CHARNEY CAME UNDONE

BY MERLE GINSBERG

KANYE West has been

dumped by so many brands (Adidas, Gap, Balenciaga, Foot Locker—even Goodwill is no longer accepting or selling his garments)—it’s easy to lose track of them all.

But there was one L.A.based clothing company that truly went the extra mile for the artist now referring to himself as Ye, printing and very nearly distributing the “White Lives Matter” T-shirts that sparked an international uproar when West wore one to his Yeezy runway show in Paris in October.

The offensive tees referencing the white 2 0 L A M AG . C O M

supremacist slogan appear to have been manufactured by Los Angeles Apparel, the company founded by Dov Charney, the fast-fashion entrepreneur who was booted from his original start-up, American Apparel, after he was accused of sexual harassment and financial misconduct (charges he denied).

The pair go way back.

Charney was a regular at West’s Sunday Service events and, at one point, acted as general manager for his Yeezy clothing line. Still, why Charney, who is Jewish, would partner with the unstable 45-year-old mogul on his WLM T-shirts (which also

featured an image of the late Pope John Paul II, the pontiff who infamously ignored decades of child sex abuse in the Catholic Church) is anybody’s guess. (Los Angeles reached out to Charney and his PR team but got no response.) The deal went south, though, after West began sharing his anti-Semitic sentiments on social media—tweeting that he intended to go “death con [sic] 3 on Jewish People”—at which point Charney decided not to peddle the shirts in his stores.

Meanwhile, West, despite growing backlash, has continued to spew hate and stir up controversy. In the past few weeks, he’s been sued for $250 million by the family of George Floyd for claiming Floyd died of a drug overdose rather than being murdered by former

Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin.

He’s been forcibly removed from Skechers’s Manhattan Beach offices after showing up unannounced, and he even got into a heated exchange at his six-year-old son’s soccer game, shouting and waving his arms at another parent as ex-wife Kim Kardashian watched from the sidelines.

As for the fate of all those WLM shirts Charney printed up? West and his stylist, Ian Connor, recently posted a video of themselves unloading the tees on Skid Row’s homeless community.

FRANK SINATRA ATE HERE—SOON, YOU CAN TOO Y E T A N O T H E R Rat Pack-era Hollywood institution is getting a face-lift.

La Dolce Vita in Beverly Hills—where the Sinatras, Kennedys, Reagans, Fondas, and Pecks all once dined—is being refurbished by restaurant

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The 56-year-old Beverly Hills institution La Dolce Vita is getting spiffy.

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THE BRIEF THE NUMBER OF SPOTS ON THE BILLBOARD CHARTS CURRENTLY OCCUPIED BY TAYLOR SWIFT SONGS. SHE’S THE FIRST ARTIST, MALE OR FEMALE, EVER TO HOLD ALL TOP TEN SLOTS ON THE LIST.

revivers Mark Rose and Med Abrous. The duo, who recently modernized Genghis Cohen on Fairfax Avenue, are planning to reopen the 56-year-old eatery on Santa Monica Boulevard, a stone-crab’s throw from the Waldorf Astoria, by the new year.

“We want to introduce it to a whole new group of Angelenos,” Rose says. “It was designed in the 1960s by a famed Hollywood set decorator to look like a New York restaurant.

And we want to retain that sense of red-sauce nostalgia while leaning it toward its Beverly Hills soul.”

It’s just the latest in what’s shaping up to be a Beverly Hills restaurant resurgence. A Jon & Vinny’s recently opened on North Bedford Drive, while chef Kurt Zdesar will will be setting up shop at the new Mandarin Oriental Residences sometime in 2023. —M.G.

NIMBYISM COMES TO WEHO AS LOCALS FUME AT HOMELESS W H E N I T comes to help-

ing the homeless, there has been no more loudly progressive place on earth than West Hollywood—at least until its city council decided to plant a halfway house for the homeless at the corner of Santa Monica and La Cienega boulevards. Pushback against a proposed 23-room “homeless transition facility” to be housed in the former Holloway Motel—nestled between a CVS and an

2 2 L A M AG . C O M

IHOP, a block from the Soho House’s new Holloway House—has been ferocious since the council approved the development back in June.

“First, we had homeless people on the street chasing people on their way to

be transitioning into jobs and living spaces of their own after they cycle through their 30-to-90day stays.

That hasn’t exactly calmed the neighborhood.

“There is no transparency in this inside

WELCOME HOME

The Holloway Motel in West Hollywood, future site of a 23-room “homeless transition facility.”

Gelson’s,” says one angry, 30-year resident. “Then, they got meth and knives.

This is no time to invite them to live here.” Adds another resident, “There are drunks sleeping on the streets in that area, on the stairs, at the bus stop.

I’m afraid to go there after 6:30 p.m.”

An opening date hasn’t yet been announced for the house, which is being paid for by a $6 million grant from West Hollywood’s Affordable Housing Trust Fund. But while WeHo’s council acknowledges that it has received complaints— “The mayor, mayor pro tempore, and councilmembers are addressing them,” a spokesperson notes—it remains committed to the project, quietly assuring residents that its occupants will

deal that puts a homeless transition camp in the heart of city center,” fumed an employee of nearby Barney’s Beanery at a recent Chamber of Commerce meeting. — M .G .

10

accusations from sometimes surprising sources.

Geena Davis, for instance, who costarred with Murray in 1990’s Quick Change, reveals in her just-published memoir, Dying of Politeness, that Murray harassed her with a massage machine on the set, determined to use it on her back despite her objections. Seth Green has also surfaced an old, unpleasant memory, recalling how when he was a nine-yearold child actor about to appear in a skit on SNL, Murray picked him up by the ankles and tossed him in a trash can. “I ran away, hid under the table in my dressing room, and just cried,” Green says. Finally, there’s Rob Schneider, who remembers that Murray “hated Chris Farley with a passion” and “really hated Adam Sandler, too.”

As for the “inappropriate behavior” on the Being Mortal set—that turned out to be kissing

BILL MURRAY: COMEDY LEGEND OR LEGENDARY JERK? T H E K N I V E S are clearly

out for 72-year-old comedy icon Bill Murray. Last spring, you may remember, the SNL alum was booted from the set of Being Mortal after complaints of “inappropriate behavior” were lodged by a young female costar. At the time, Murray seemed contrite—“Times change, so it’s important for me to figure it out,” he told reporters—but since then, there’s been a growing drumbeat of other

MR. POPULARITY

Bill Murray, under fire for decades of alleged bad behavior.

and straddling the “horrified” younger actress.

Puck recently reported that Murray paid a $100,000 settlement to the woman.

H O L LOWAY M OT E L : A D SAU SAG E ; M U R R AY: A N D R E A S R E N TZ /G E T T Y I M AG E S FO R G Q

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ENTERPRISE

KILLER CONCEPT

A scene from one of Liquid Death’s viral videos introducing the brand.

“Marketing doesn’t work the way it used to,’’ Cessario says. “You have to create something that’s actually funny, actually interesting—something people haven’t seen before.”

Liquid Death found its first distributors in tattoo parlors, bars, and liquor stores, and soon was a backstage staple at metal and hard-core concerts. Its branding entertained and engaged with hopped-up metaphors that raged against the mainstream beverage machine.

Liquid Death commands you to “murder your thirst.” Are you environmentally conscious? Please.

The brand’s eco-friendly aluminum cans are “killing plastic.”

One year after launching, Liquid Death added a sparkling-water derivative with similar success and followed this year with three flavored options: Berry It Alive, Mango Chainsaw, and Severed Lime, with an iced tea in the wings (might I sugHOW A SAVVY MILLENNIAL MARKETER REPACKAGED HUMBLE BOTTLED gest Earl Grave?).

WATER INTO THE HIPPEST—AND MOST PROFITABLE—DRINK IN L.A. All of which suggests that there B Y J O S E P H I N E TA S S O N I is, as Cessario surmised in 2017, a mass market for, of all things, rock and roll mountain water. Whether I K E C E S S A R I O was Four months after it was launched you are trying to ban your students bouncing around L.A. via Facebook video with a marketfrom bringing it to school because ad agencies after graduing budget of only $4,500, Liquid of its gnarly packaging, getting ating from Pasadena’s Death had scored 80,000 followers the logo tattooed on your throat, ArtCenter College of Design when and the video had generated 3 milas brand ambassador Steve-O he beheld what all marketing lion views. With that proof of concept, recently endured, or just delighting types covet but seldom find: a gapCessario approached investors and in the fact that your nine-year-old ing hole in a marketplace with in short order was presiding over the is finally drinking water she thinks unlimited upside. fastest-growing nonalcoholic beveris badass, you are A former punk rock and heavy age company in the among the enablers metal musician, Cessario knew that, world. Liquid Death helping Liquid far from the stereotypes, a significant is now the mostLiquid Death Death to consume portion of his cohort neither drank followed beverage sales could the market in a way beer nor swilled the heavily caffeinbrand on TikTok,with no health beverage ated energy drinks constantly pushed more than 21 billion hit $130 million has before. on them. They wanted healthy social media impresthis year.

“It doesn’t matbeverages, and the healthiest of all, sions, and is sold at ter if you’re a heavy Cessario posited, was pure mountain 29,000 retail locations metal dude or a water but marketed with the punk nationally, from Whole soccer mom, if you have somewhat attitude of IPAs like Voodoo Ranger Foods to 7-Eleven.The brand’s latest of a dark sense of humor, chances and Todd the Axe Man. round of funding increased its market are you’re going to really love Liquid Thus did Cessario cofound Liquid value to $700 million; the company Death,” Cessario declares, adding, Death in 2017. Packaged in tallboyprojects it will bank $130 million in vindication of his punk-rock-asesque aluminum cans adorned with in revenue this year, a 188 percent lifestyle-marketing trope: “A great Old English lettering and a melting increase over 2021’s $45 million. piece of advice I got a long time ago skull, the 16.9 ounces of water within, All this from a trademark seemis that hard work is a waste of time Cessario soon discovered, was almost ingly calculated to repel prospective if your idea sucks.” beside the point. customers?

Liquid Gold

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S U R R E A L E S TAT E

Going Down!

WITH L.A. REAL ESTATE OFF 20 PERCENT SINCE ITS PEAK LAST SPRING, THE NUMBER OF SELLERS SLASHING PRICES HAS MORE THAN TRIPLED. HERE ARE SOME OF THE BIGGEST LOSERS B Y J O S E P H I N E T A S S O N I A N D M I C H A E L WA L K E R

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COLDWATER CANYON

HOL LY WOOD H I L L S

L AU R E L CA N YON

FEATURES Reached via a winding private

FEATURES Built in 2007, this 4,151-square-

FEATURES Located on one of Laurel Canyon’s

drive, this three-bedroom, three-bath, 2,988-square-foot traditional canyon home on five acres dates to the 1930s.

foot hilltop three-level, 200 yards from the Hollywood Reservoir, has four bedrooms and five baths, with views to downtown.

most desirable streets, this five-bedroom, six-bath contemporary boasts views from downtown to the Pacific.

VALUE Since it was listed in June, the property

VALUE The nearly $1 million price drop in

VALUE Last sold for $1.2 million in 2019, the

has been reduced in price three times in roughly $1 million increments; the latest reduction was made in September.

PRICE $6,995,000

⁄ TO DAY $3,499,999

September from the original June listing is indicative of the swiftly recalibrating prices in the L.A. residential market.

PRICE $2,970,000

⁄ TO DAY $2,000,000

house was listed in August at $3.8 million; the price has since been cut twice for a total reduction of $1,085,000.

PRICE $3,880,000

⁄ TO DAY $2,795,000

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MID CITY

B E V E R LY H I L L S

PAC I F IC PA L I SA DE S

FEATURES This five-bedroom, two-and-a-half-

FEATURES Recently renovated, this

FEATURES Gated and fully remodeled, this

bath, 1,800-square-foot house has an open layout and new appliances throughout.

VALUE First listed in September, the home’s

current $999,000 price places it well below the neighborhood’s $1.3 million median and more closely aligns with the $1.04 million median in nearby West Adams.

PRICE $1,199,000

2 6 L A M AG . C O M

⁄ TO DAY $999,000

5,691-square-foot, five-bedroom, six-bath mid-century modern adds an eat-in chef’s kitchen and infinity pool with cabana.

VALUE The price was lowered $1 million

after listing last spring, casual evidence that even a Beverly Hills location isn’t immune to current market pressures.

PRICE $7,950,000

⁄ TO DAY $6,799,000

1954 Cape Cod in the Palisades’ Via De La Paz Bluffs neighborhood comprises five bedrooms, four baths, and 2,800 square feet of living space with mountain views.

VALUE Listed in September after the market’s

peak, the property has since been reduced by $600,000.

PRICE $4,595,000

⁄ TO DAY $3,995,000

P R O P E R T I E S : F R O M R E A LTO R S ’ W E B S I T E S ; M O N E Y: G E T T Y I M AG E S

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12.22

SPI E LBE RG’S MINI-M E

Plus

Gabriel LaBelle, the star of The Fabelmans.

› Who’s the dish in

Michael Connelly’s new crime novel?

PAGE 38

› The very best holiday light shows in L.A.

PAGE 40

› Eight wines and a lot of comfort and joy.

PAGE 44

ST Y L I ST: A L I S O N B R O O K S / E XC LU S I V E A R T I ST; G R O O M I N G : K I N D R A M A N N / T M G - L A ; S P E C I A L T H A N K S : J O H N L AU T N E R ’ S G A R C I A H O U S E , 1 9 6 2 J O H N M C I LW E E & B I L L DA M A S C H K E

INTERVIEW

How to Smile Like Steven Spielberg

BY B E NJA M I N S V E T K E Y P H O T O G R A P H E D BY C O R I NA M A R I E

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star of The Fabelmans, Gabriel LaBelle, reveals how he channeled his inner Spielberg in the director’s buzzy new autobiographical drama about growing up a teenage film geek.

Did you study his mannerisms—can you do a killer Steven Spielberg impersonation at this point? > Well, I didn’t do an impersonation. It’s times. So his walk and posture is all in his not what Austin Butler was doing in Elvis. chest. But, now, he’s lived a lifetime and This is Sammy Fabelman, not Steven created this incredible body of work, so Spielberg. If there’s a Venn diagram, he’s a lot more confident as a man. His there’s me, there’s Steven, and then center is much lower and in his hips. He there’s Sam. We may look similar—I may has this swagger and his head is down. dress in the same clothes in the movie; I It’s much more centered. may physically change my hair and eye color to look like him. But it’s hard to Something like 2,000 actors audiimpersonate a 75-year-old guy 60 years tioned for the part. I’m imagining it earlier in his life. But, yes, as a giant open call I got some of his manlike in The Producers, nerisms down. I got his with the singing “It’s hard to walk, his posture. I Spielbergs on one side impersonate a started smiling like him … of the stage and the 75-year-old dancing Spielbergs What’s the Spielberg on the other. guy 60 years smile? > Everything was over earlier > He doesn’t expose Zoom. I almost prefer in his life.” his front teeth when he to audition by Zoom. I smiles. So I learned how don’t have to go anyto do that and how to where and worry about justify why my character would do that. where to park and where do I sign in and Maybe he’s embarrassed and trying to who do I talk to. All that is distracting. hide a smile.

Auditioning by Zoom, I can really focus and put all my energy into the audition And the posture? and close my eyes and think about what > He was growing up in the 1950s, and I’m going to do while I’m in the Zoom you had to be very presentable in those waiting room.

3 2 L A M AG . C O M

TWINSIES

Above: LaBelle as young Spielberg in The Fabelmans. Left: with Spielberg at the Toronto Film Festival in September.

Your dad, Rob LaBelle, is a successful character actor. He helped you get into the business. What was his reaction when you landed the part? > You could feel the pride coming off his face. He was actually with me when I got the news. My agent called and said, ‘Let me patch in your manager,’ and put me on hold. I kind of knew then that I got the part—there was no point in patching in a third person if I didn’t get it. They said, ‘What are you doing right now?’ And I told them I’m on my deck with my dad and brother. And they said, ‘Put us on speaker.’ ” They teased it out. I’m walking in a circle thinking, ‘Oh, my God,’ and my dad’s all excited and smiling. It was very cool.

You seem pretty calm for a 20-yearold who’s about to star as the lead in a Spielberg movie. Was there ever a point in this process where you looked at yourself in the mirror and thought, “Holy crap! My world is about to totally change!”? > Yeah, I mean, it’s a lot to comprehend.

It is very strange. Like, shooting the movie was exhausting and scary and tough—the stakes were really high, and I was exhausted and drinking too much caffeine—so I feel like I released a lot of that kind of energy while making it. But seeing it for the first time at the Toronto Film Festival—oh man, I was so scared.

When it started rolling, I was holding onto my mom’s hand.

L A B E L L E , S P I E L B E R G : M I C H A E L LO CC I SA N O/G E T T Y I M AG E S ; FA B E L M A N S : CO U R T E SY A M B L I N E N T E R TA I N M E N T

What’s it like being directed by Steven Spielberg in a movie about Spielberg’s childhood? It’s such a meta situation for an actor to be in. > Well, first, you don’t want to do a bad job and mess up his story. But, second, in terms of prep, all the information you need is right there. It’s his life. Your character is going through the things that he actually went through. So if there was a line that I didn’t quite understand or a situation where I wasn’t sure how to crack into the character’s mindset, I could just ask. Sometimes he would tell me; sometimes he would just let me figure it out on my own.

You won’t find them in ordinary kitchens.

Or at ordinary stores.

Sub-Zero, the preservation specialist. Wolf, the cooking specialist. Cove, the dishwashing specialist.

The Luxury Kitchen features these brands exclusively. Welcome to West Hollywood.

Showroom opening: December 2022.

at

540 N. LA CIENEGA BOULEVARD, WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA 90048

Incoming

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HAPPENINGS

THE TO-DO LIST

GET SOME COLOR

› At 85, David Hockney remains as vital as he was in the 1970s. That’s when he

met Peter Goulds, founder of L.A. Louver, ground zero for an unprecedented international exhibition of new works. The gallery’s latest show, David Hockney: 20 Flowers and Some Bigger Pictures, is based on iPad paintings Hockney made in 2020 while quarantined at his studio in Normandy, France. Along with flower still lifes, the “bigger pictures” are landscapes marking the seasons and reimagining the French countryside. Making its debut is 25th June 2022, Looking at the Flowers (Framed), a large-scale photographic drawing.

YOUR DECEMBER CULTURAL AGENDA

H O C K N E Y ’ S L A R G E - S C A L E P H OTO G R A P H I C D R AW I N G L A N D SC A P E W I T H S H A D OW S , 2 0 2 1 AT L . A . LO U V E R

S K AT E AWAY

› After a two-year shut-

B E N ATA R AND GIRALDO

PLAY W IT H PAT

› Invincible: The Musical

is Romeo and Juliet with a boomer score. That’s husband-wife team Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo culling from their catalog and adding some new tunes to this world-premiere play. Literature’s favorite lovelorn teens now live in a modern, war-torn Verona where Chancellor Paris vows to quash the progressive resistance. The Wallis, thewallis.org, November 22 through December 18.

3 4 L A M AG . C O M

down, the Holiday Ice Rink returns to downtown,

kicking off the season with the annual Icebreaker Opening Celebration, featuring live performances, special guests, and a balm for the winter blues— the shattering of a big ice sculpture. Pershing Square, holidayicerink downtownla.com,

November 23 through January 1.

RU S H O U T

› The latest novel from

Pulitzer Prize-winning author and SoCal native Jane Smiley (A Thousand Acres), A Dangerous Business, is set in Gold Rush California, where two young prostitutes set out to solve a string of murders. December 6.

FIND SOUND SA LVAT I O N

› It was going to happen

last July, so if you had tickets back then, now’s the time to join Ira Glass and Jad Abumrad, the hosts of public radio’s This American Life and Radiolab, discussing their respective shows about science, humanity, and finding the epic in the everyday. The Theatre at Ace Hotel, acehotel.com, December 10.

H E A R H A R RY

› Is there a better way

C A L I F O R N I A G O L D S KAT I N G T E A M

to spend Christmas than with Grammy-winning singer Harry Connick, Jr.?

Before you answer,

consider listening to him croon through holiday classics as well as original seasonal faves like “When My Heart Finds Christmas.” Pantages Theatre, broadwayin hollywood.com, December 15 through 17.

WITNESS A LIFE UNFOLD

› Oscar-winning film-

maker Alejandro G. Iñárritu delivers an autobiographical film, Bardo, á la the Fellini classic, 8½. A documentary filmmaker grapples with an existential crisis surrounding identity, family, and memory. Netflix, December 16.

L A N DSC A P E W I T H S H A D OW S : CO U R T E SY L . A . LO U V E R © DAV I D H O C K N E Y/AU G U ST 2 0 2 1 / P H OTO G R A P H I C D R AW I N G P R I N T E D O N PA P E R , M O U N T E D O N D I B O N D/ I M AG E : 4 2 1 /2 X 8 0 3 /4 I N . ( 1 0 8 X 2 0 5 .1 C M ) / E D I T I O N 1 4 O F 2 5 ; B E N ATA R , G I R A L D O : G E T T Y I M AG E S ; S K AT E T E A M : CO U R T E SY P E R S H I N G S Q UA R E

L. A. Louver, lalouver.com, November 16 through January 7.

BY JOR DA N R I E F E

ONCE A YEAR, WE GIVE THE MONTANA STARS A LITTLE COMPETITION. ®

RING IN THE NEW YEAR AT PAWS UP. AMERICA’S PRIVATE NATIONAL PARK.

We couldn’t think of a better way to welcome another decade. Especially when your pre-party is a customized itinerary of outdoorsy delights like dogsledding, sleigh riding or snowmobiling. There are no crowds here.

Only good cheer and close family. Plus a fresh new perspective on an exciting new year.

877-388-3893 I pawsup.com I Greenough, Montana © 2022 The Last Best Beef LLC

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MIXED MEDIA

American Idol

HAVING ENDURED DECADES IN THE HOLLYWOOD WILDERNESS, BRENDAN FRASER IS BACK WITH THE WHALE, IN A ROLE THAT REAFFIRMS HIS ACTING CHOPS AND STAR POWER

W

BY STEVE ERICKSON

H E N T W O teenagers dug up the Cro-Magnon Over the past decade or two, however, something odd that time forgot in 1992’s Encino Man, the bighappened to Fraser, as careers go. The former matinee idol gest surprise was how quickly evolution had increasingly found himself a character actor in supporting gotten around to producing someone who resemroles on TV miniseries like Trust and The Affair and, most bled Brendan Fraser. In his prime, the Indiana-grown Fraser recently, Steven Soderbergh’s No Sudden Move on HBO Max, looked like what back in the day would have been called a when he wasn’t struggling not to flame out altogether. Derailed “matinee idol,” which made him perfect casting for the retroby a ruinous divorce settlement, the death of his mother, the matinee blockbuster The Mummy and also inevitably placed trauma of a sexual assault literally at the hand of the Hollywood him on People magazine’s Most Beautiful list. If he didn’t Foreign Press Association’s ex-president, not to mention aging already have an instinct for it, Fraser learned early and quickly and weight gain and an array of surgeries on his back and what matinee idols from Cary knees and vocal cords, almost Grant to George Clooney have certainly Fraser brings to The learned over the history of Whale enough lived-in dejecmovies, which is that, if you’re tion and defeat and maybe even going to be that good-looking, a barely determined self-loathyou’d better have a sense of ing to inform the film. Without humor about yourself. “Do trivializing for a moment what you know what’s wrong with someone like Charlie goes you?” Audrey Hepburn asks through, the movie in no small Grant in Charade, providing part has become perceived her own answer—“Nothing”— as something of an unwitwhich sums up the immediate ting metaphor for its leading dilemma of a man considered man’s own recent experiences. too perfect to be interesting.

In other words, as surely as In Fraser’s case, he has had Charlie resolutely raises his to cope with being beautiful 600 pounds just to walk sevand then not being beautiful, eral steps across a room, The or—in The Whale, his triumWhale is Fraser’s comeback. phant comeback—turning The Whale is as f itfully himself into what most peopowerful as you might imagple will regard as grotesque. ine, and if it displays some of That’s a harsh word in these the claustrophobia of Samuel woke times when The Whale D. Hunter’s acclaimed stage Fraser’s performance in the already has been accused by play before he adapted it for film is a tour de force. some of being “fatphobic,” but the screen, director Darren denying it misses the point of Aronofsky has made the most the main character’s despair of it in a story where Charlie’s and self-disgust; a remote-learning lit teacher who abansense of claustrophobia is no farther away than his own physidoned his family for a male lover, he has since imprisoned cal self. And if some of the contrivances of such an adaptation himself in a 600-pound body. are apparent, the small ensemble cast overcomes them with Fraser’s performance as Charlie, who knows his chances varying success: having the least to work with as Charlie’s ex, of redemption in the eyes of his estranged daughter grow Samantha Morton is predictably great anyway; and, in particslimmer with each passing minute, is a tour de force that ular, Hong Chau—notable over recent years in Inherent Vice, will startle even audiences familiar with the actor’s dramatic Downsizing, and TV’s Watchmen—is a standout as Charlie’s chops at the outset of his career. Notwithstanding the salutary one true friend, equal parts compassion and exasperated fury. self-humor of Encino Man, The Mummy, and That said, of course the movie belongs to Fraser, who’s AC T O R’S the latter’s two sequels, Fraser more than held equal parts fatalism and towering fortitude, playing a man EQUITY his own opposite Ian McKellen and Lynn whose good heart may not be good enough to withstand the Fraser’s serious work was often Redgrave in 1998’s Gods and Monsters before weight of a regretful life. It’s a comeback story that, come overshadowed gracefully stealing from Michael Caine 2002’s March, may call for an Oscar to the actor that time forgot and by fare like underappreciated The Quiet American. then remembered.

Encino Man. 3 6 L A M AG . C O M

I L LU S T R AT E D BY C H R I S T O P H E R H U G H E S

YO U K N OW TH E E M OTIO NAL R U S H O F B E I N G S U R RO U N D E D BY TH O U SAN DS O F R E VE LE RS I N TI M E S SQ UAR E ?

N E ITH E R DO WE .

Trade the crowds for the crackle of a warm fire. Ditch the parties for a private retreat. Did we mention the green o is situated on a 37,000-acre ranch? That’s almost three times the size of Manhattan. So, this New Year’s Eve, give yourselves plenty of room to roam.

thegreeno.com I Greenough, Montana I 877-388-3893 © 2022 The Last Best Beef LLC

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BOOKS

Fresh Blood CRIME NOVELIST MICHAEL CONNELLY EXPLAINS WHY L.A. DETECTIVE HARRY BOSCH IS HANGING OUT WITH A YOUNGER WOMAN

BY JOR DA N R I E F E

B

3 8 L A M AG . C O M

BOSCH IS BACK . . .

. . . with LAPD’s Renée Ballard, in Michael Connelly’s 37th novel.

come for the aging detective to hang up his gun and move to Boca Raton—although it’s difficult to imagine Bosch completely fading from the crime scene. The 24 books in which he’s the main character have sold tens of millions of copies over the last 30 years, attracting fans like Bill Clinton (who, while president, was photographed holding a copy of Connelly’s third book, The Concrete Blonde, a priceless bit of accidental promotion that boosted the author’s early career).

Amazon’s original TV series based on the Bosch books (with Titus Welliver in the titular role) lasted seven seasons, until 2021, and a new series, Bosch: Legacy, about Bosch’s silver years, launched last May. There’s even been some loose talk about Bosch someday crossing paths on screen, as he has from time to time in print, with Mickey Haller, the car-bound counselor at law who’s been the hero of six of Connelly’s other crime novels (and who has his own series on Netflix, starring Manuel Garcia-Rulfo).

But Connelly isn’t holding his breath. “You’re talking about Netflix and Amazon coming together and shaking hands and saying, ‘Let’s do this,’ ” he says. “It seems very unlikely to me. But it’s too bad. It would be nice.”

CO N N E L LY: N A N C Y PA STO R / P O L A R I S ; B O O K : CO U R T E SY L I T T L E , B R OW N A N D CO M PA N Y

A C K W H E N he was a Bosch is somewhat unique as a college student at the crime novel hero in that he grows University of Florida older from book to book. When in Gainesville, Michael he first appeared, in 1992’s Edgar Connelly discovered the works of Award-winning novel The Black quintessential L.A. crime novelist Echo, he was just 42 years old. In this Raymond Chandler. He tore through latest, he’s 72. every book he could find, devourThough Bosch has reached retireing every sentence, hoping that by ment age, Connelly hasn’t been ready immersing himself in Chandler’s dark, to put the character out to pasture. murderous world, he could someday This is why Ballard—based on reallearn to write his own crime novels. life L.A. detective Mitzi Roberts, For a young, aspiring author, it who’s been advising Connelly on his wasn’t much of a plan. books for years— But, boy, did it work. started appearing in Connelly’s 37th his story lines. novel, Desert Star, “I needed to pair set in the L.A. underBosch with someone world, features a who understands character who’s been he still has skills with the 66-year-old and that he can go author from the very on,” says Connelly. start—former homi“Ballard became a cide detective turned way of getting to private eye Harry that.” Connelly adds Bosch—as well as a that he’s in constant relative newcomer: contact with Roberts Renée Ballard, a whenever he writes “I needed to hotheaded, toughabout the character. pair Bosch with as-nails young “I didn’t want to get someone who LAPD detective who into the situation understands he began popping up where I imagine in Connelly’s fiction what it’s like to be still has skills.” about four years ago. a woman in a male Put in charge of the dominated bureaunewly revived Opencracy,” he says.

Unsolved Unit, which deals with (Connelly began his career as a newsapparently hopeless cases, she enlists paper reporter in Florida, where he Bosch’s help in solving the murder of was short-listed for a Pulitzer Prize 16-year-old Sarah Pearlman, sister of for his coverage of the 1985 crash of the city council member who helped Delta Flight 191, and, later, worked at resuscitate the cold-case unit. the Los Angeles Times.)

Meanwhile, Bosch procures The focus of the 2017 stand-alone Ballard’s help in his continuing hunt novel The Late Show, Ballard is not for his own pet cold case, the slaynearly as prominent as Bosch in ing of an entire family by a murderer Connelly’s universe, but that could who remains at large. change when the time finally does

Now on view Getty Villa Museum

Nubian necklaces (detail). Top: AD 40– 50. Gold. Bottom: 270–50 BC. Gold and cornelian. Museum of Fine Arts, Boston.

Harvard University–Boston Museum of Fine Arts Expedition. Photographs © Museum of Fine Arts, Boston. Text and design © 2022 J. Paul Getty Trust

FREE ADMISSION Plan your visit

LA Mag 112222 Nubia-n P3.indd 1

Exhibition organized by

10/14/22 4:13 PM

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OUTINGS

DIAMONDS IN THE SKY

1. Enchanted Forest of Light at Descanso Gardens in La Cañada Flintridge. 2. Lightscape at the Arboretum in Arcadia. 3. Holiday Road at King Gillette Ranch in Calabasas.

L.A. Electric

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THE CLOSEST LOS ANGELES COMES TO A WINTER WONDERLAND IS ITS HOLIDAY LIGHT SHOWS. THIS YEAR, THEY’RE BRIGHTER THAN EVER

BY CHRIS NICHOLS

H

Lightscape

O L I DAY L I G H T shows

are bringing a magical glow to botanical gardens, historic sites, and the open sea this season. Come fall, Angelenos, raised on searchlights and neon, long for the spectacle of nature illuminated. Landmarks like the Mission Inn have been polishing their marvels for decades, while COVID-era drive-through experiences have expanded into complete nights out, with food trucks and cocktail lounges. Here, our recommendations for a shining celebration.

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Los Angeles County Arboretum, Arcadia › This British import blazes a trail through L.A. County’s oft-filmed botanical garden.

The sights and sounds, created in conjunction with Sony Music, include the Winter Cathedral and Fire Garden set amid 10,000 trees and plants from around the world. $15-$39, November 11 through January 8, arboretum.org.

L.A. Zoo Lights: Animals Aglow

Los Angeles Zoo, Griffith Park › After the live animals go to bed for the night, their light-filled lantern avatars take over the menagerie. The illuminated animals make the flowers and trees glow while you stroll through, enjoying live entertainment and sipping hot chocolate. VIP tickets allow you into a private lounge with gourmet hors d’oeuvres and a signature cocktail. $15-$100, November 18 through January 22, lazoo.org.

Enchanted Forest of Light

Descanso Gardens, La Cañada Flintridge › Fine artists from around the world collaborate on the outdoor installations set in this fantasy forest. Roam through a town made of stained glass, spin the massive lanterns hanging in the dark, and gaze in awe at the giant, shimmering trees. $22$40, November 20 through January 8, descansogardens.org.

Holiday Road

King Gillette Ranch, Calabasas › Take Gingerbread Lane to the light tunnel to find the elf village at this historic ranch in the celebrity-hideout neighborhood. The 4 0 L A M AG . C O M

2 one-mile main trail is filled with photo ops, souvenir shops, and a premium holiday bar with savory cocktails. Who knows which Kardashian might sidle up next to you. $25$45, November 25 through December 30, holidayroadusa.com.

Festival of Lights

Mission Inn, Riverside › The 30th annual edition of the community extravaganza sprawls across the entirety of the 146-year-old hotel compound and throughout downtown Riverside, where you can take a ride in a twinkling carriage before admiring the 400 animated figures, life-size gingerbread house, and the magical Christmas tree. Free, November 25 through January 6, missioninn.com.

Astra Lumina

South Coast Botanic Garden, Palos Verdes Estates › Immerse yourself in the music, cosmological wonders, and astral visions projected in the gardens. Walk the celestial trail through the story of falling stars while listening to a cosmic choir during this otherworldly experience. $20-$29, December 8 through January 15, astraluminalosangeles.com.

Marina del Rey Boat Parade

Marina del Rey › The dark, silent sea will be awakened by an enormous fireworks show at the start of the 60th annual parade, where more than 80 illuminated yachts glide through the marina.

You can view the spectacle from the restaurants in Fisherman’s Village, which have tables right on the water. Free, December 10, mdrboatparade.org.

E N C H A N T E D : JA K E FA B R I C I U S ; L I G H TS C A P E : A L E X H E W I T T; H O L I DAY R OA D : CO U R T E SY H O L I DAY R OA D

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W H E R E TO E AT N OW

New & Notable Butcher’s Daughter

W E S T H O L LY WO O D

● The new location

of this plant-based empire dazzles. Cocktails are the star along with veggie versions of carnivore food like carrot “lox,” eggplant “oysters,” and cauliflower “strip steak.”

8755 Melrose Ave., thebutchersdaughter.com

BUB AND GRANDMA’S BREAD BUSINESS RISES TO NEW HEIGHTS B Y H E AT H E R P L AT T

O N A N Y G I V E N day at

Bub and Grandma’s, owner Andy Kadin can be found clearing tables, running slices of key lime pie to guests, or chatting with customers.

In 2015, Kadin pivoted from his career as a writer to open a tiny sandwich shop. The only problem was, Kadin couldn’t find the kind of submarine-sandwich bread he grew up eating in Italian delis in New Jersey. So with no prior culinary experience, Kadin took matters into his own hands and began baking it himself. He perfected crusty loaves of sourdough and squares of ciabatta that were soon discovered by the owner of Dune in nearby Atwater Village, who began making beet sandwiches with them.

The wholesale business rapidly grew, and Bub and Grandma’s became one of the most beloved bread purveyors in the city, selling to 150 of Los Angeles’s most prominent restaurants.

M A N NA Seven years later, Roast beef au jus Kadin reigns over a far on a roll is one of the sandwiches bigger version of his made daily with dream, serving plates of Kadin’s freshly brisket sandwiches made baked bread.

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with the bread that launched the business.

He refers to it as the “Bub Sub,” which pastry chef Christopher Lier spent at least six months developing.

“It was always in our minds that eventually we were gonna have a sandwich shop and need pastries there,” says Lier, who worked as pastry chef for Osteria and Pizzeria Mozza. Lier’s pastries—including a tender-to-the-bite croissant made with spelt, morning buns, and seasonally fruity, freshly fried doughnuts—are a destination all their own.

Chef Zach Jarrett heads the kitchen at Bub and Grandma’s, which currently serves breakfast and lunch, both centered on the bread—that is, egg sandwiches in the morning and an array of salads and sandwiches around midday.

Kadin says he plans to open for dinner service at some point, with live entertainment and libations. “We’re gonna do jazz with beer and wine,” he says hopefully.

These, of course, are just dreams for now. But so far, Kadin’s had pretty good luck with those.

3507 Eagle Rock Blvd., Glassell Park, bubandgrandmas.com P H O T O G R A P H BY JA K E M I C H A E L S

B E V E R LY G R OV E

● This offshoot of the

Parisian caviar maison offers all the same glamour with a touch of L.A. ease. This means Dungeness crab crostini topped with caviar, and California chopped salad with green goddess caviar dressing.

8475 Melrose Pl., caviarkaspiala.com

Pizzeria Bianco D OW N T OW N

● Chris Bianco’s L.A.

debut at ROW DTLA is a hit. During the day, a line forms for slices of his N.Y.-style takeout pizza.

At night, it’s full-service dining featuring the wood-fired pizza Bianco made famous.

1320 E. 7th St., Ste. 100, pizzeriabianco.com

B U TC H E R ’ S DAU G H T E R : A S H L E Y R A N DA L L

Bringing in the Dough

Caviar Kaspia

A N ITAL IAN TRAD ITION

FOR SLEEPIN G IT OFF

Tommaso Muzzi panettone: an iconic holiday cake made with the same slow-rising recipe since 1795.

Perfect for any holiday occasion, whether you enjoy it after dinner or with coffee the next morning.

I TA L IAN T R ADIT ION FOR EV ERYONE eataly.com/losangeles

Westfield Century City | 10250 Santa Monica Blvd

@eatalyla

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WINE

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COMFORT AND JOY

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SPREAD A LITTLE HOLIDAY CHEER WITH EIGHT WINES SURE TO PLEASE, FROM BASIC TO BINGE-WORTHY

BY COLMAN ANDREWS

2. Cullen Wines Kevin John Margaret River Chardonnay 2021 ($100) › Margaret River in Western Australia produces some of the Southern Hemisphere’s finest Chardonnays, 4 4 L A M AG . C O M

and this is a superb example. It’s a wine that should satisfy lovers of both big, oaky Chardonnays and more restrained, smoothly structured ones because it goes right down the middle, with enough mineral acidity to calm the oak and heft.

Pricey, yes, but also unforgettable, and a handsome match for everything from onion soup to pumpkin pie.

3. Smith-Madrone

Vineyards & Winery Napa Valley Spring Mountain District Riesling 2018 ($30) › A nice surprise; a textbook Riesling by an underrated producer from a region not particularly known for the grape. It’s bright and fresh, with plenty of

fruit, crisp-apple acidity, and a long, bone-dry finish that leaves you wanting more. A fit pairing for Festa dei Sette Pesci (Feast of the Seven Fishes), the traditional Italian American Christmas Eve supper, but also just to sip by the fire at the end of the day.

4. Lucien et André Brunel Châteauneufdu-Pape Les Cailloux Blanc 2019 ($60) › The best-known examples of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, the legendary “Pope’s wine” from France’s southern Rhône, are red; but the whites can also be superb. This beauty, with citrus and mineral notes overlaying a mouth-filling opulence, is the kind of thing you’d want in your glass when

TIP JAR » Some wines match well with specific foods,

but you shouldn’t stress over food pairings; most good wines work with almost anything.

Just avoid serving delicate ones with very hearty dishes and vice versa.

you’re dining on festive turkey, ham, or goose— but it’s also a good match for nothing more than snacks and conversation.

5. Lustau Don Nuño Dry Oloroso Sherry ($26)

› Here’s a dry wine with the richness of a sweet one. In contrast to angular, yeasty, dry fino sherry (like Tío Pepe), Don Nuño is rounded, with a nose suggesting roasted almonds and toffee, and a dried-fruit character on the palate, nicely offset by racy acidity—a perfect aperitif.

6. Kanonkop Kadette Pinotage 2019 ($24) › Wines made from South Africa’s signature Pinotage grape, an unlikely cross between Pinot Noir and the Rhône variety Cinsaut, are still largely under the radar in the U.S., but wine like this warm, earthy red, with its almost meaty aroma, lush softness, and faintly peppery fruit, can match anything from an Impossible Burger to an A5 Wagyu rib eye.

7. Venturini Baldini Montelocco Lambrusco Emilia IGP ($14) › Riunite was a massproduced Lambrusco from Italy’s EmiliaRomagna region, once promoted with “Riunite on ice—that’s nice.” Forget Riunite.

Lambrusco can be serious stuff—but serious stuff that’s fun. This one’s a good example: vivid red in color, effervescent, semidry, juicy with flavors of plums and red berries, and all too easy to drink. It’s a classic match for prosciutto and might well be the ultimate pizza wine.

8. Viña Ardanza

Reserva Rioja 2015 ($40)

› Some of the most

dependably pleasing and fairly priced red wines around are Spain’s Riojas. This is an eloquent case in point—suave, subtle, with a nose that suggests the autumnal aromas of a damp forest floor and a flavor that hints at dried cherries and Christmas spices. Bring on the roast beef or game birds.

CO U R T E SY V I N T N E R S W E B S I T E S

1. Bollinger R.D. Extra Brut Champagne 2007 ($350) › Champagne is essential for the holiday season— for toasting, gifting, or selfishly hoarding into the New Year—and this one’s pretty much the top of the line. Bollinger’s wines are heavy on Pinot Noir (70 percent, in this case, with 30 percent Chardonnay) and so already show considerable richness. “R.D.” ups the game: Récemment dégorgé, or “recently disgorged,” means that the wine has been aged in the bottle on its lees— the dead yeast cells that remain after fermentation—concentrating the richness and amplfying the flavors. The result shows all the elegance of Champagne and all the complexity of a premier cru Burgundy.

Books, Cards, Gifts, and More!

8818 Sunset Blvd. West Hollywood, CA. | 310.659.3110 | booksoup.com

12.22

Gift Guide

P RESENTIN

the

G...

WE SCOURED THE CITY, NOT ONCE BUT TWICE, AND FOUND PERFECT GIFTS FOR THOSE NAUGHTY AND NICE EDITED BY ERIN BUNCH, AMANDA EBERSTEIN & JESSICA KANTOR

G E T T Y I M AG E S

CONTRIBUTORS MERLE GINSBERG, MAUREEN HARRINGTON, CHRIS NICHOLS, HEATHER PLATT & MICHAEL SLENSKE

P H O T O G R A P H BY M I C H E L D E L S O L

L A M AG . C O M 4 7

I FTS H O L I D AY G

Home

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HIGH-FASHION NAPKINS AND REAL GOLDEN DISHES—HOUSEWARMING GIFTS TO FULFILL EVERY HOST’S WISHES

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TRIM THE TREE

● In 1957, Tiffany & Co. commis-

sioned Andy Warhol to create a set of bold greeting cards. Now, the jewelry house is introducing limited-edition items based on hisiconic illustrations, such as these hand-painted glass ornaments. Tiffany & Co. x Andy Warhol limited-edition ornaments, $400 for set of three at tiffany.com.

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IKAT NAP

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● Former fashion designer

Gregory Parkinson’s block-printed, hand-loomed Indian cotton napkins in honeycomb melon will sweeten any meal. Gregory Parkinson Surround napkins, $220 for set of six at Kneeland Co., 4767 W. Adams Blvd., West Adams, kneelandco.com.

PITCHER THIS

● Design star Kelly Wearstler

teamed up with Sticky Glass to create this elegant hand-blown pitcher that catches and refracts the light.

Sticky Glass Bubble Pitcher in gold leaf, $390 at kellywearstler.com.

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A NEW SPIN

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● A modern take on the classic

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RARE BIRD

● Renowned for its premium

watch selection, Gearys Beverly Hills offers equally covetable home decor, like this handpainted, limited-edition ginger jar. Herend blue peony ginger jar, $6,275 at Gearys, 351 N. Beverly Dr., Beverly Hills, gearys.com.

Hanukkah toy, Marmol Radziner’s handmade walnut dreidel with brass stand echoes the spare lines and quality materials the architects use to build and restore homes across the city. Marmol Radziner + the Jewish Museum dreidel, $190 at Marmol Radziner, 12210 Nebraska Ave., Sawtelle, at marmol-radziner.com.

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BEAR FRUIT

SHEROES

● These salad/dessert plates from

L.A.- and Paris-based tastemaker Zoë de Givenchy are hand-glazed in real gold and painted by Italian specialists. Z.d.G. by Zoë de Givenchy Fruits d’Or plates, $239 dgofficial.com. each at zdgoffi

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● Created by an L.A.-based

author-and-illustrator duo, this book spotlighting 50 of the most influential Black women in history—from Michelle Obama to Cardi B—will inspire children and adults alike. Black Icons in Herstory: Women $28 at 50 Legendary Women, Chevalier’s Books, 133 N. Larchmont Blvd., Larchmont Village, and chroniclebooks.com chroniclebooks.com.

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provide workspace and representation to gifted developmentally disabled adults. Their annual holiday sale features multimedia pieces by these artists, some of whom already work with museums and galleries. Ceramic vase by Larry Pearsall, $400 at artecf.org.

P R O D U C TS CO U R T E SY B R A N D S

ONE OF A KIND

● ECF Art Centers across L.A.

Food & Drink

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BONBONS! TRUFFLES! A WREATH MADE OF MEATS! JUST A SMALL SAMPLING OF THIS YEAR’S BEST HOLIDAY TREATS

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● L.A.-based Siesta Co.’s own-

● Make a fashionable entrance

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with this panettone from Gucci Osteria, created with chef Roy Shvartzapel, known for this old world Italian bread. Panettone, $160 at Gucci Osteria, 347 N. Rodeo Dr., Beverly Hills, gucciosteria.com.

ers pay homage to the canned seafood of their native Spain with high-quality fish packaged in charming tins. Variety five-pack, $41 at siesta-co.com.

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FORBIDDEN FRUITS

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ous gift set combines the Highland Park property’s dark, sweet wine and specialedition botanical chocolates made with regeneratively grown fruit and spices.

Night Bloom Vino Dolce and botanical bonbons, $180 at flamingoestate.com amingoestate.com.

● Santa Monica-based Lady &

Larder’s charcuterie wreath kit includes gourmet prosciutto, salami, sea salt-blistered almonds, dried fruit, and fresh herbs. DIY holiday charcuterie wreath, $215 at 828 Pico Blvd., Ste. 2, Santa Monica, ladyandlarder.com.

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WELL-ROUNDED

● Flamingo Estate’s sensu-

● Justin Chao learned the art

of French caramel-making at Paris’s Michelin-rated Le Meurice before opening Le Bon Garçon in East Hollywood.

His signature chocolates are available in mint for the holidays. Holiday mint caramels, from $19 at lebongarcon.com.

● Newly launched, womenled Maie offers modern wine drinkers a low-waste option with this trio of single-serving bottles. Discovery pack, $35 at drinkmaie.com.

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PAMPER THE PALATE

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IDEAL BLEND

● Foraged by trusty dogs deep in the forests of Piedmont, these primo fresh white truffles are just a car ride away at Century City’s hub for all things Italian, Eataly. White truffles, market price at Eataly, 10250 Santa Monica Blvd., eataly.com Century City, eataly.com.

● Brightland’s latest olive oil,

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BON APPÉTIT

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SWEET & STYLISH

GO FISH

cold-pressed with olives grown on California’s Central Coast and infused with rosemary extract, pairs perfectly with cozy holiday cuisine. Aurora, $40 at brightland.co.

P R O D U C TS CO U R T E SY B R A N D S

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I FTS H O L I D AY G

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● The biometric sensor in

● Pickleball is a phenomenon,

REST AND RESET

this sleek eye mask from the innovators behind Theragun combines heat, vibration, and massage for personalized relaxation. SmartGoggles, $199 at Reset by Therabody, 11677 San Vicente Blvd., Ste. 101, Brentwood, therabody.com.

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BLADE RUNNER

● Pro legend Jon Julio’s Santa Ana-based Them Skates partnered with Clarks Originals on these retro in-line skates in the former’s signature headturning hue. Clarks Originals x Them skates 909 58MM, $400 at themgoods.com.

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BLING RING

● This 18-karat gold Gucci-

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logo-engraved Oura ring tracks sleep, physical activity, and other health metrics with unprecedented style. Gucci x Oura ring, $950 at Gucci, 347 N. Rodeo Dr., Beverly Hills, gucci.com.

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BLAST FROM THE PAST

● This 1966 Jazzmaster

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replica from California-born Fender will delight the musicians in your life. Plus, it sells for a fraction of the original’s resale price. American Vintage II 1966 Jazzmaster, $2,400 at fender.com.

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GAME ON

and these Recess paddles, created in collaboration with HGTV interior designer Leanne Ford, will up any devotee’s game. Leanne Ford for Recess pickleball paddles, $86 each at recesspickleball.com.

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PACK IT UP

● The playful palm-tree

motif inside this handsome Melrose capsule collection suitcase—exclusive to Globe-Trotter’s new WeHo flagship—will bring a smile to weary Angelenos away from home. Melrose Carry-On 4-Wheels, $2,195 at Globe-Trotter, 8483 Melrose Pl., West Hollywood, us.globe-trotter.com.

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ON THE BOARD

● Huntington Beach skate

shop Madrid partnered with the equally storied Garland Hotel to create this custom board in the shape of the Golden State. California skateboard, $150 at the Store at the Garland, 4222 Vineland Ave., North Hollywood.

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HIGH DESIGN

● L.A. design house Flora

Nero is turning cannabis accessories into high art, making this sleek joint holder a cool way to carry. Flora Nero Bronze joint case, $280 at Just One Eye, 915 N. Sycamore Ave., Hollywood, justoneeye.com.

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P R O D U C TS CO U R T E SY B R A N D S

WHETHER IT’S OUTDOORS OR IN THE METAVERSE THEY PLAY, GEARHEADS WILL BE THRILLED WHEN THESE GIFTS DROP FROM THE SLEIGH

H O L I D AY C O N C E R T S AT

2 PERFORMANCES! 2 PERFORMANCES!

SAT DEC 3 11:30AM & 2:30PM

Holiday Sing-Along Melissa Peterman, host John Sutton, conductor Angeles Chorale Raise your voice and your spirit in this annual holiday tradition that offers fun, cheer, and a whole lot of music for the entire family.

SAT DEC 10 11AM SAT DEC 17 11AM

Symphonies for Youth: The Nutcracker Los Angeles Philharmonic Gustavo Dudamel, conductor A timeless Christmas favorite that offers drama and memorable melodies.

3 PERFORMANCES!

TUE–THU DEC 20-22 8PM

Home Alone in Concert David Newman, conductor David Newman leads John Williams’ score at these special screenings of the holiday classic. © 1990 Twentieth Century Fox

FRI DEC 23 8PM

Arturo Sandoval Swinging Holiday

TUE DEC 13 8PM 4 PERFORMANCES!

SAT DEC 3 8PM · SUN DEC 4 2PM WED DEC 14 8PM · SUN DEC 18 2PM

The 10-time Grammy®-winning Arturo Sandoval makes it a jumping, jiving, jingling night at Walt Disney Concert Hall, performing a program of holiday favorites decked out in Latin jazz styling.

A Chanticleer Christmas The beloved Grammy®-winning “orchestra of voices” returns with their signature holiday performance.

The Nutcracker with Dudamel: Tchaikovsky & Ellington Los Angeles Philharmonic Gustavo Dudamel, conductor Los Angeles Children´s Chorus Fernando Malvar-Ruiz, Artistic Director

2 PERFORMANCES!

It’s a Christmas favorite with a jazzy twist!

SAT DEC 31 7PM & 10:30PM

New Year’s Eve with The Roots Spend New Year’s Eve with the legendary Roots crew!

Get Your Tickets Today!

laphil.com/deckthehall | 323 850 2000 Groups (10+) 323 850 2050 |

Programs, artists, prices, and dates subject to change.

I FTS H O L I D AY G

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Fashion FROM GROOVY BUCKET HATS TO AN “L.A. CASUAL” DRESS, STYLISH DUDS THAT ARE SURE TO IMPRESS

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● This prairie-style maxi dress

● Designer Mike Amiri made

TO THE MAX

JUST FOR KICKS

“L.A. casual” luxe, with a store on Rodeo Drive to prove it. His men’s kicks easily leap from street to soiree. MA-1 sneakers, $790 at Amiri, 461 N. Rodeo Dr., Beverly Hills, amiri.com.

from women’s collective Dôen is made of 100 percent silk and comes in a kaleidoscope of autumnal colors. Aimee dress, $998 at Dôen, 225 26th St., Ste. 4, Santa Monica, shopdoen.com.

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SO CLUTCH

TWINKLE TOES

● Nothing enhances a holiday

● The Elder Statesman imbues the richest fabric with killer colors. These unisex cashmere socks are sure to spoil even the person whose closet is overflowing.

Dazed Yosemite socks, $275 at the Elder Statesman, 607 Huntley Dr., West Hollywood, elder-statesman.com.

look—or any look for that matter—better than a colorful print bag, like this whimsical MaxMara clutch. Medium Twill Pasticcino bag, $395, at us.maxmara.com.

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SUNNY DAYS

● Alexander Daas’s eponymous

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brand of unisex frames, including these Portofino tortoise and mango sunglasses, add style and swagger to any ensemble. Portofino frames, $450 at Alexander Daas, 161 N. Larchmont Blvd., Windsor Square, alexanderdaas.com.

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BUNDLE UP

● Canada Goose may be

famous for its light-as-a-feather down coats, but the brand’s 100 percent cotton hoodie is soft enough to steal the spotlight. Huron hoodie, $350 at canadagoose.com.

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SHEAR JOY

● The ultimate in hygge, Jenni

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Kayne’s shearling-lined clogs can go indoors or out, since the warm fuzzies are this winter’s hottest trend. Moc clog, $375 at Jenni Kayne, 614 N. Almont Dr., West Hollywood, jennikayne.com jennikayne.com.

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BUCKET LIST

● Designer Asaka Fushimi sells these patchwork bucket hats made from vintage bandanas, Dodgers memorabilia, Japanese souvenir pillowcases, military jackets, and old polo shirts to the likes of Naomi Osaka and LeBron James. From $158 at asakafushimi.com.

P R O D U C TS CO U R T E SY B R A N D S

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● The dreamy hue of the Guess Ginevra satchel’s faux-croc finish matches the L.A. sky and is the perfect color to carry into the new year. Ginevra Elite Society satchel, $128, at guess.com.

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BREAKING PLAID

● Brad Pitt partnered with

holistic healer Sat Hari on this new line of unisex plaid shirts.

Deceptively grunge, these handwoven cashmere tartans feature hand-cut gemstone buttons, with a price tag to match. God’s True cashmere shirt, $2,250 at Just One Eye, 915 N. Sycamore Ave., Hollywood, justoneeye.com.

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I FTS H O L I D AY G

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● Few things are more L.A.

● Any L.A. fashion maven

● A brilliant study in contrasts, these gold and onyx hoops are a mesmerizing combination of luxe, punk rock, and art deco.

Clash de Cartier hoop earrings, $17,800 at Cartier, 411 N. Rodeo Dr., Beverly Hills, cartier.com.

than a wristful of Karen Lazar’s sparkling, stackable stretch bracelets made of small gold balls adorned with diamonds and other precious gemstones.

Signature stacking bracelets, from $48, at Karen Lazar Design, 11727 Barrington Ct., Brentwood, karenlazardesign.com.

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Stone Jewelers’s striking 18-karat gold swallow charm set with Old European cut diamonds will make any lucky recipient swoon. Large pendant, $7,000 at Single Stone, 2527 Mission St., San Marino, singlestone.com.

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● The Navitimer is the most

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5 4 L A M AG . C O M

WHAT A GEM

worth her weight in gold will covet designer Irene Neuwirth’s one-of-a-kind, hand-carved pink tourmaline and spinel ring.

Double Tropical Flower ring, $11,740 at Irene Neuwirth, 8458 Melrose Pl., West Hollywood, ireneneuwirth.com.

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HEARTSTRING

● Designer Liseanne Frankfurt’s

vibrant lapis hearts interspersed with 18-karat yellow gold on violet silk thread will make your loved one’s heart melt. Lapis necklace, $2,250 at LFrank Jewelry, 226 Main St., Venice, lfrankjewelry.com.

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LOCK IT UP

● The new Tiffany Lock all-

gender bracelet is designed to honor that special bond between you and another.

Tiffany Lock bangle, from $6,800 at Tiffany & Co., 210 N. Rodeo Dr., Beverly Hills, tiffany.com.

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HOOP DREAMS

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MATERIAL COMFORT

● Inspired by ancient artifacts,

these chic, lightweight earrings are handcrafted from natural pine and organic stones at Sophie Monet’s Venice studio. Relic earrings, $213 at sophiemonetjewelry.com.

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DIVE IN

● This Seiko diver’s watch

looks like the 1965 62MAS original, but it’s sleeker, thinner, and accented with a special-edition aquatic hue.

Seiko Prospex Diver’s Modern Re-Interpretation Save the Ocean SPB297, $1,250, at feldmarwatch.com.

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P R O D U C TS CO U R T E SY B R A N D S

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● Aesthetician Jordan LaFragola,

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Double Header electric trimmer, $70 at dollarshaveclub.com.

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SHINE ON

● Stylist Mara Roszak is famous

for dressing the locks of stars like Emma Stone and Brie Larson. Her lightweight hair oil is made from natural extracts. Santa Lucia styling oil, $45 at rozhair.com.

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MAGIC POTION

● Relevant—a new line from

Nyakio Grieco, cofounder of BIPOC-supporting e-commerce site Thirteen Lune—has drawn raves for its antioxidant-rich daily moisturizer, designed for a multitude of skin tones and types.

Relevant One & Done Everyday Cream, $38 at thirteenlune.com.

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GET GLOWING

● Merit Beauty’s Base Set

features all the hydrating and plumping complexion essentials that have made the L.A.-based brand a hometown favorite. $136 at meritbeauty.com meritbeauty.com.

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LET’S FACE IT

who gives aromatherapy facials in a Hollywood bungalow once owned by Charlie Chaplin, created this plant-based, ultrahydrating face oil in a beautiful apothecary-style bottle. $120 at floramirabilis.com.

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MAKING SCENTS

● Acclaimed Parisian perfumer

Ex Nihilo teamed up with L.A. artist Amanda Charchian to create this deep, musky fragrance.

Idle Hour, $325 at Ex Nihilo Paris, 926 N. Sycamore Ave., Ste. 103, Hollywood, ex-nihilo-paris.com.

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ROYAL FLUSH

● This 21-color palette from

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makeup artist Manny Mua features a technicolor range of new and fan-favorite shadows for queens of every gender.

Life’s a Drag Facelift, $48 at lunarbeauty.com.

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THE BOMB

● These steam-activated

cakes of essential oils from the zero-waste brand Parrotfish are like bath bombs for the shower set. Chamomile Blossom Shower Steamers, $30 at shopparrotfish.com sh.com.

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L.A. Stories

B Y L AU R E N G R A H A M

Boobs of the ’90s

IN AN UPLIFTING EXCERPT FROM HER NEW COLLECTION OF ESSAYS, ACTRESS TURNED AUTHOR LAUREN GRAHAM GETS SOMETHING OFF HER CHEST THAT’S BEEN SAGGING HER SPIRITS FOR YEARS—L.A.’S OVERINFLATED OBSESSION WITH MAMMARIES

6 0 L A M AG . C O M

Los Angeles from New York in the summer of 1996, I learned a few crucial things: that pale people of Irish descent should not drive convertibles, that all the work I’d done on the plays of Chekhov and Ibsen in my scene study class in the windowless yet magical rehearsal room in Wynn Handman’s acting class in the Carnegie Hall building on 57th Street was not going to help me get a job on Beverly Hills, 90210, and that—due to it never having occurred to me that it might be necessary to update them—I had I don’t remember thinking about my breasts very much—or at all—when I lived in New York. I couldn’t tell you what bras I had or even where I got them (Century 21 maybe? Loehmann’s?).

Kathy, my dear friend and roommate back in Brooklyn, far more well endowed than I, went annually to a special bra place in the East 30s in Manhattan where a professional bra lady would stand behind her in the full-length mirror, adjusting straps and measuring her various dimensions in order to recommend the exact right bra for her, and I remember thinking, who has the time for such a thing? You had to make an actual appointment. That’s the only New York boobs memory I can conjure—I thought so little about them there that the only story I have is about someone else’s.

But after just a few weeks in Los Angeles, I spoke fluent Wonderbra, and had purchased my first pair of the rubbery boob blobs no one has ever called anything besides chicken cutlets. These acquisitions didn’t seem strange to me at the time; they seemed mandatory, or at least highly recommended. Every audition room I entered was filled with actresses with bigger boobs than mine. I remember thinking I’d better catch up. It felt like everyone knew what sort of boobs they were supposed to have, and, weirdly, they also had them. Today, we speak of body positivity, and there is at least an attempt at representing a wider variety of shapes and sizes on-screen, but the boob fashion of the 1990s in Los Angeles seemed to offer actresses only two choices: get them surgically augmented or buy a bra that made it look like you had. Now, I was mainly auditioning for television, and television in the ’90s was largely comprised of half-hour sitcoms, and the most popular sitcom was Friends. The friends themselves were all stunning and boobtastic, and every other half-hour TV show was trying to mimic their look and their success. Fancy Movie Lady actors may have been going to different auditions with subtler expectations in terms of silhouette. Although I do remember a story going around back then about Frances McDormand pulling her chicken cutlets out at a meeting and tossing them on the table, which was an undeniably bold move.

But it also told me that even a vanguard like her had at least one day of feeling ’90s boobs pressure.

My roommate at the time was Connie Britton. We met in the windowless yet magical Chekhov/Ibsen acting class that wasn’t going to get me cast on 90210, P H O T O G R A P H BY B R I A N B OW E N S M I T H

AU G U ST

SHORTLY A FTER I MOV ED TO

Bridging the Gap

Photographed by Pat Batellini

Lance Bass styled by 26-year old model, designer & stylist Brandon Gruber who has Down syndrome

As the leading human rights organization for all individuals with Down syndrome, NDSS envisions a world in which all people with Down syndrome have the opportunity to enhance their quality of life, realize their life aspirations, and become valued members of welcoming communities.

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L AU R E N G R AHAM

and while she’d eventually become a lifelong friend, we didn’t know each other that well yet. We were among the hordes who came from New York every pilot season. Who knew what would happen? We might get cast in something; we might run out of money and go back to New York and start auditioning while waitressing again like we’d seen happen to so many of our friends.

I was driving around town in a rented red Volkswagen Cabriolet with the top down, learning how quickly I sunburned , and Connie had borrowed a vintage gray Volvo with no air-conditioning from a place called Rent-A-Wreck. We bought our first cell phones together and giggled every time we called each other because—besides our agents—we were pretty much the only people we knew in L.A., and our New York friends still used the pay phone. These mobiles were ugly and gray and heavy, and the only buttons on them were numbers. Bluetooth, GPS, cars with navigational systems, did not yet exist, so to find out where you were going, you had to pull over on the shoulder of one of L.A.’s four-lane freeways and manually thumb through the 2,000-page, spiral-bound paper map that was The Thomas Guide. You checked your computer—if you even had one—maybe once at the end of the day and sat staring at it, listening to what felt like an hour and a half of robot static sounds, before the guy finally said, “You’ve got mail.” You were lucky if you had a fax machine through which you could print out your audition sides, the pages containing only the scenes in which your character appears, but if you needed to read a whole script, you had to drive to your agent’s office and pick it up from the bin of envelopes outside the door of the reception area.

You knew you were getting somewhere when (if ) the agency started messengering things to you rather than have you go to them. Graduating to messenger-level importance was the day we all were hoping for.

Connie and I were staying for free in the house of a friend of hers who was getting a divorce. The friend who’d offered us the house knew we were staying there, but her recently divorced husband did not, so sometimes we’d get a panicked call that the ex was in the 6 2 L A M AG . C O M

neighborhood and we’d have to rush to turn out all the lights and run and hide in the back of the house. We found this hilarious. The house was empty except for two beds and, I think, one chair and a table we’d sort of move from room to room when needed. There was maybe one pan in the kitchen, and the only thing I remember making in it was Rice Krispies Treats, which we’d eat with our hands, too ambitious and

“Everyone knew what sort of boobs they were supposed to have and had them.” dedicated to our craft, I suppose, to waste even a moment wondering why we had no plates. That was what we considered . . . breakfast, I guess?

There was a Subway sandwich shop at the bottom of the street, and we’d walk down there most days and split a tuna sub for lunch and then eat chips and salsa and margaritas at the nearby restaurant Mexicali for dinner, and I was somehow the thinnest I’d ever been. Maybe the Subway tuna salad that would turn out to be the subject of scandal years later, accused of being a “mixture of various concoctions that do not constitute tuna” was to thank.

Anyway, Michael Pollan will probably not be writing the foreword to my book Scientifically Proven Hollywood Miracle Diet when I publish it, but it’ll make millions, I tell you. Millions!

There were other questionable trends that I also didn’t question at the time: the need for all miniskirts to be at Calista Flockhart–in–Ally McBeal shortness levels, crop tops paired with

jeans whose low-rise waistband started maybe a millimeter above the butt crack, and the monthly ritual of getting Brazilian bikini waxes at a salon called Pink Cheeks.

Pink Cheeks was a waxing place on Ventura Boulevard in the Valley rumored to be the top choice of strippers and Playboy Bunnies, which was, I guess, endorsement enough for everyone. The interior of Pink Cheeks was—no surprise—pink. The chairs were pink velvet, and there were Hershey’s Kisses in pink candy dishes, and everything else in the room was pink and fluffy or lacy or glittery or all of those things. You felt like you were in the bedroom of a 16- year-old aspiring pageant queen who’d swapped her Wham! posters for cotton-candycolored silk thongs hung on the wall available for purchase. Cindy ran the place, and she was bubbly and huggy and made you feel like you’d stopped by to be served freshly baked cookies and not to pay money to scream out in pain as the most sensitive area on your body was slathered in hot wax and stripped bare.

Months after we arrived, Connie and I began to acquire mature things like plates and chairs, and each of us booked a few jobs and found one or two more people we could call from our mobile gray bricks. Eventually, I got a guest spot on the sitcom 3rd Rock from the Sun with John Lithgow and Jane Curtin (giggly student); a recurring part on the Thursday night lead-in to Friends, Caroline in the City (kooky airhead); and a small part in a movie starring Patricia Arquette, Ewan McGregor, and Josh Brolin, a thriller called Nightwatch (best friend who is also a priest). It occurs to me now that the work I got this first year in Los Angeles was a pretty good indicator of what was to come: mostly comedic roles, an occasional quirky character part, dramatic work once in a while.

Connie and I even graduated from being illegal squatters to being actual apartment renters. I got a little onebedroom on the top floor of a duplex in a building on Orange Street, and I thought, for a first-year Californian, how auspicious to be welcomed by citrus. I hired a personal trainer three times a week and started going to spinning classes taught by a woman named

CO U R T E SY B A L L A N T I N E B O O K S

L.A. Stories

Kelly Rockstar who had zero percent body fat and—you guessed it—very large breasts.

I upgraded myself from the Rice Krispies Treats diet too, and I started getting my food delivered in preportioned boxes left on my doorstep every night by a company promising they offered the perfect ratio of fats to carbs to make my body “work more efficiently.” Most of the actors I knew at the time were eating their food out of these same boxes. These boxes consisted of a bland protein and a bland vegetable and a tiny bland carb, and pretty much everyone ordered them from the same company that was whatever one you read the Friends were currently getting theirs from in the latest issue of InStyle magazine. Everyone brought their boxes with them everywhere, transporting them in cooler bags to set, or sometimes even bringing them to dinner parties, and I once went on a date with an actor who brought his box to the restaurant and asked the waiter to heat it up for him and put it on a plate as if he had ordered it there.

“What?” he said in response to what must have been a strange look on my face. “Everyone I know does it.”

Over time, I didn’t stop to ask myself questions like was it OK to bring your own food to a restaurant or why was I on this diet when I was already pretty thin or was Kelly Rockstar her real name or how was it possible to have zero percent body fat but also have breasts that big.

Then, one day, I got my first boob job. Or rather, my boob blobs got a job.

It was a small part in a film for which I had my fake large chicken cutlets to thank. The shoot was out of town, and even though I only had one day of work, they flew me first-class and put me up at the nicest hotel I’d ever stayed in. I’d never been on location before. That night, I was so nervous, I hardly slept. The next morning, in the makeup chair, I became even more flustered when the makeup artist accidentally used a faulty eyelash curler that chopped a chunk of lashes off my eye—it was not an auspicious start to the day. Worse, after I’d just been told I had plenty of time to get ready, a redfaced assistant director, whose job (among many other things) it is to keep the day running on schedule, appeared

in the door of the trailer to say that, no, actually, they were ready for a blocking rehearsal, which is where the director and actors work out where we’ll be sitting or standing or crossing in a scene so the director of photography and his crew know how to light it—and they were ready for me NOW. My wardrobe for the day consisted solely of a (very stuffed) bra and underwear, and I’d been given a thick

terry-cloth bathrobe to use as a coverup. I’d hardly ever been on a movie set, let alone been the day player who might be holding things up on one, so I took off running, barefoot, bathrobe flapping open behind me. This meant that, while I arrived on set as quickly as I could, I was sweating and the bottoms of my feet were black from the sidewalk, and let’s not forget the eyelash amputation I’d recently

L A M AG . C O M 6 3

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L AU R E N G R AHAM

B O DY P O S I T I V I T Y endured. Heart pounding, I tried to 1. Graham with roommate Connie Britton in 1999. clear my head and focus on rehearsing 2. Sophia Loren glances at Jayne Mansfield’s décolletage in 1957. 3. Friends’s Jennifer Aniston the scene. exemplifies the Hollywood chestal aesthetic of Blocking and rehearsing a scene them ’90s. with two people in bed is like trying to make Twister-type contortions look sexy and natural while also pretending you feel great about doing it. It’s awkward. Tilt your face two inches this way, and you’re blocking your co- star’s light; rotate your shoulders two inches that way, and the cameraman can’t see your face. Rehearsing these moves is technical but also crazily intimate.

Have you ever been sitting in a packed theater and dropped something and tried to find it beneath the chair of the 1 stranger next to you while smiling and 2 apologizing? Your head is way too near their lap, but you’re trying your best you’re pretending to be other people. to be polite and act like it’s normal?

Have you seen Josh Duhamel? I’d hapSometimes you and your costar will Something like that. Plus, only very pily . . .” No, no, no, we don’t say flippant end up together, but it’s just as likely recently did anyone think it might be a things in delicate situations, my brain that when you get back home to reality, good idea to employ a third party whose told me just in time. So instead I said you’ll wonder what you possibly could job it is to take some of this head-in-anothing and nodded my head a few have seen in each other. This confustranger’s-lap awkwardness away by times and wandered away and thus sion can be even more, er, apparent inventing the job of intimacy coordinaended the coordination of my intimacy. for men. One male actor tor. Before then, someone I worked with said to me, who may or may not have before a sexy scene, “I apolhad any experience in such ogize if I do, and I apologize scenes—maybe someone “My wardrobe consisted solely of a if I don’t.” Ballsy! from the wardrobe depart(very stuffed) bra and underwear, Back on set that day ment—would hover nearby and I’d been given a thick terry-cloth after my scene partner and until the director called cut, I and the director had choand then she’d scurry over bathrobe to use as a cover-up.” reographed the scene and to cover you with a sheet rehearsed it a few times, and or fling a bathrobe at you.

I had twisted myself into varI could never ever find the ious pretzel shapes for the camera while sleeves in these bathrobes and rooting Now, maybe actresses like Barkina trying to look cool doing it, the director around to find them made me panic, Plumefessen enjoy strutting around all told everyone to take a short break and which ensured I couldn’t find them for day, ignoring the bathrobe entirely and he pulled me aside. He smiled and said even longer. chatting with everyone, legs akimbo, he was genuinely thrilled to have me in Recently, I had a scripted kiss with like they’re on a beach in Ibiza. But in the part, apologized for the morning’s Josh Duhamel’s character on an epimy experience, no matter who you are, rush, and told me the shot he was trying sode of Mighty Ducks, and I had my these situations are at least mildly awkto get was turning out to be more of a first encounter with an intimacy coorward and can be confusing to the body. puzzle than he’d planned, and he wasn’t dinator. It’s a family show, and our Sometimes you may start to think you getting the angle he needed, and he was kiss was described as brief, we were are genuinely attracted to your scene terribly sorry to ask me this at the last standing up fully clothed, and there partner, and sometimes you are, and minute, but would I mind taking my bra wasn’t much more to it. But I felt kind maybe you even kissed them already off in the scene? of guilty that someone had been hired the night before outside the RitzI certainly don’t wish this upon to help coordinate two adults in their Carlton, but here, in the scene, you either of us, Reader, but should we ever 50s share a tongueless peck. So I asked have to pretend it’s happening for the get into a fender bender together, I’m the coordinator what her role on other first time. This difficulty distinguisha great person to have nearby. In the shows had been, hoping I’d find a probing reality from pretend has resulted face of any sort of surprise or trauma, I lem I needed her expert help in solving. in some good relationships but many become very, very calm. This is helpful “I’m here to make you comfortable and more that were a bad idea and is where in that I’m not going to freak out and ensure there is consent.” I cannot tell the term “showmance” was born. It’s make an already stressful situation you how hard I had to bite back my nera romance born from the intensity worse, but I’m not sure it’s a response vous impulse to make a joke. “Consent? and confusion that can occur when 6 4 L A M AG . C O M

B R I T TO N , G R A H A M : T W I T T E R .CO M / T H E L AU R E N G R A H A M ; M A N S F I E L D, LO R E N : A L B U M

L.A. Stories

that offers a ton of options to the person (me) who is responding to the stress/trauma. That day, I sort of went numb and rather than take a moment to consider how his request made me feel, I remember it being very important to me to act really calm because I wanted to seem professional and also didn’t want to hurt the director’s feelings. I wish I could tell you I said, Give me a moment to think about it. I wish I could tell you I said, I think we should get my manager or agent on the phone.

Or even said, Hell no, Dude, this is why lawyers spend months contractually defining every single body part that will or won’t be seen, down to the very last detail of whatever the legal language is for “side boob.” I wish the next part of the story was about the time I pulled my cutlets out and tossed them boldly on the floor, McDormand-like. I wish I could tell you that was the day I realized that even though I’d only been in L.A. for a short time, I suddenly became aware of how narrow the definition of what I was expected to look like had become, and that it occurred to me in that moment that if actor, stripper, and Playboy Bunny were different jobs, why were we all supposed to have the same body type? I wish I could tell you that I recognized this situation as inappropriate, a violation of an agreement we’d already spent weeks negotiating.

But I was new. I was intimidated. I was hungry, and I was hustling. Also, I was practical. I had done what I was comfortable doing in pursuit of a job, (CO N T I N U E D O N PAG E 1 0 3 )

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A N I STO N : A N D R E W E CC L E S / © N B C /CO U R T E SY E V E R E T T CO L L E C T I O N

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CONRAD TULUM RIVIERA MAYA Tuning Into the Magic of Tulum

There’s something magical about Tulum. Ancient ruins, cenotes, jungles… treasures are just waiting to be discovered within the Yucatan Peninsula.

There, stretches of white beach whisper, “inspiration.” Making such an escape possible: Conrad Tulum Riviera Maya.

Relaxation kicks in upon arrival at the Cancun International Airport with the resort’s luxury transportation. Knowing everything’s taken care of, slip into vacation mode, gazing at exotic Mexican Riviera vistas on the leisurely ride to Tulum.

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Set within a natural sanctuary on a secluded bay, Conrad Tulum Riviera Maya welcomes with eco-chic rooms and suites, each replete with balconies and plunge pools for marveling over the views. Unwind from travel by diving into one of the five resort pools, or at Conrad Spa Tulum to be guided through a purifying gratitude ceremony by the in-house shaman.

Up next, savoring cuisine at one of Conrad’s 11 restaurants and bars.

Head to Kengai for its Izakaya fare. Craving Sushi? Ukai’s sustainable menu showcases handcrafted, ocean-conscious sushi. Maratea serves up the Mediterranean flavors of Spain, North Africa, Greece

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and Turkey. Then there’s Autor, where the chef-in-residence curates a sense of place via guests’ taste buds.

THE WONDERS OF TULUM

An ideal place to start the day— Zamá, or “City of Dawn,” Tulum’s famed Mayan ruins. Within these ancient walls can be found the Temple of Frescoes, Temple of the Descending God and Pyramid El Castillo. Follow-up with a visit to Sian Ka’an Biosphere Reserve, aptly known as the “Gate of Heaven.” This UNESCO World Heritage Site is a wonderland that's lush with mangroves, tropical forests and a barrier reef. Feel the urge to go for a swim? A snorkeling sojourn is called for in the area’s Gran Cenote and Cenote Dos Ojos. Throughout history, the Mayans have considered these water-filled limestone sinkhole/ caves to be the entrance to Xibalba, or the underworld.

Feeling mournful about saying goodbye? No need to despair. Conrad Tulum Riviera Maya will always be waiting with its restaurants, spa, and unforgettable adventures. What those white sand beaches whisper upon one’s return? “Welcome back. Welcome home.”

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THE RESORT AT PELICAN HILL The Resort at Pelican Hill combines awe-inspiring holiday grandeur with magical experiences that celebrate the best of the season.

The centerpiece of Pelican Hill’s December calendar is a limited series of Holiday High Teas & Songs of the Season which combines three lavish courses of house-made delights, specialty teas and prestige Telmont champagne with some of the brightest talents in American opera as they perform a classic repertoire of holiday songs. Other festivities include Sparkling Princess Tea & Storytime and Holiday Painting & Prosecco along with unique classes and workshops for guests of all ages.

22701 Pelican Hill Road South, Newport Coast, CA 92657 (888) 507-6427 | pelicanhill.com

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Exhibition “LIFE CYCLES: A Bamboo Exploration with Tanabe Chikuunsai IV” Now – January 15, 2023, Mon – Fri, 11 a.m. – 7 p.m. | Sat – Sun, 11 a.m. – 8 p.m.

JAPAN HOUSE Los Angeles Renowned Japanese bamboo artist Tanabe Chikuunsai IV constructed a 70-foot long immersive installation using 15,000 bamboo strips – the longest work to date. Visitors can engage with the dramatic soaring bamboo art form, viewing it from multiple angles as it twists and winds across the gallery at JAPAN HOUSE Los Angeles. Free admission.

For more information visit JapanHouseLA.com

STARS of France combines entertainment and education with a deep dive on the classic wines of France. Enjoy tasting top wine efforts and an interactive zoom audience. Your choice of a tasting flight kit or bottle kit delivered to your door! 100% of auction proceeds benefit Children’s Hospital Los Angeles.

For tickets or more information visit STARSofWine.com

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JAN L.A. Works’ Martin Luther King Day of Service January 16, 2023, 11 a.m. – 4 p.m.

Los Angeles Photo by Jim Donnelly

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SPARKLE DTLA HOLIDAY LIGHT SHOW December 1 - 31 Nightly 5 p.m. | 6 p.m. | 7 p.m. | 8 p.m. | 9 p.m.

Join L.A. Works for Los Angeles’ largest volunteer event celebrating the life and legacy of Dr. King! The event focuses on climate change and the impact of environmental racism on our community.

Events feature: • Food Festival & Nonprofit Fair: A sampling of sustainable food at booths hosted by local restaurants + learning the impact of climate change on Black, Brown, and Indigenous communities.

Experience a magical holiday show as 18 million hues of lights illuminate the night and synchronize to festive tunes. SPARKLE DTLA at The Bloc will take you through an unforgettable nighttime journey that includes one of LA’s largest multi-colored interactive holiday displays. Capture your perfect photo-op moments at this ultimate holiday experience.

• Volunteer Activities: A series of ecoaction stations to create environmentally friendly projects and assemble vegan meals for Angelenos in need.

For more information visit theblocla.com

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N M AY 3 0, 1 8 9 7 , the first gasoline-powered motor vehicle in Los Angeles sputtered to life. Today, there are upward of 6 million autos registered in Los Angeles County. In the intervening 125 years, L.A. has come to define cars, and be defined by them, more than any other city. In this special section devoted to all things auto, we analyze how what you drive does, and doesn’t, define you; survey the sexiest new electrics, and have some fun, fun, fun with L.A. car songs and our exclusive survey of censored vanity plates. Buckle up!

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WHAT YOUR CAR SAYS ABOUT YOU IN L.A., YOU ARE WHAT YOU DRIVE. OR ARE YOU? IN THIS CAR-CRAZY TOWN, YOUR RIDE CAN BE A ROLLING STATUS PROXY OR A SHREWD MASQUERADE FOR FAKING IT TILL YOU MAKE IT. IT ALL DEPENDS ON WHICH LANE YOU CHOOSE B Y TA R A W E I N G A R T E N

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NE OF MY INDELIBLE

Los Angeles car experiences happened years ago at what was then the tragically hip Katsuya on La Cienega.

I was test-driving a $325,000 citronhued Lamborghini Huracán for a magazine review. I pulled up to the valet station, flipped open the groovy scissor doors, and tried to step out of the insanely squat Italian bull without pulling a Hollywood slip in front of a throng of gawkers. Mission accomplished.

And then, it happened.

“Oh, gaw, what a waste!” said the stupefyingly handsome actor, I mean valet, who, with a hollow stare, held out his hand to take the keys. “Excuse me?” I asked, hoping he was referring to something having nothing to do with me. But no. He actually was commenting, to no one in particular, L.A. CARCHETYPES

MR. OVERCOMPENSATION LATE-MIDDLE-AGE, aviators, Rag & Bone jeans meant for someone half his age. Vrooms up to the Spago valet in a $400,000 supercar convinced that women passersby are awed but they instead roll eyes in disgust/pity. Mostly pity.

that I, the person exiting his fantasy car, didn’t at all match his notion of who owns such a car. Sadly for him, I was not Gigi Hadid, who in this scenario would likely exit the car bikini clad. I was poking a giant hole in his arrested teenage supercar phantasm, not to mention having the nerve to do so while fully dressed.

In that moment, I understood an immutable fact of L.A. car culture: In this town, you really are what you drive. But also, not. The funny thing is, the fine-young-actor-I-meanvalet was spot on. I didn’t own that sunshine-yellow Lambo, and I’m likely not the kind of person the typical Angeleno expects to see alighting from one. Instead, many of us would conjure an aging tech billionairelothario trolling Rodeo Drive for a delectable sugar baby. Or maybe his 21-year-old scion who just picked up his rosso mars Lambo at the O’Gara Coach company in Beverly Hills as a birthday gift from dad. But if we’re talking about the superficial act of judging one by the car he or she drives, well, then, where better than in extroverted, bling-flexing, autoentrenched Los Angeles? Here, more than anywhere else on Earth, what you drive tells us all a lot about you.

At least until it doesn’t.

“The thing about car culture in L.A. is, there’s no real way to opt out,” says Dan Neil, the Pulitzer Prize-winning former Los Angeles Times automotive critic, now a columnist for the Wall Street Journal.

DRIVERS ED WHO

DRIVES WHAT

IN L.A.

TOP 5 SELLING CARS IN L.A. FANCY THAT—IN A TOWN FULL OF FLEXY STATUS RIDES, THE HUMBLE HONDA CIVIC IS NO. 1

PERCENTAGE OF NEW CARS

HONDA CIVIC 4.3

TOYOTA CAMRY 3.0

HONDA ACCORD 2.7

TOYOTA COROLLA 2.3

TOYOTA RAV 4 1.8 PERCENTAGE OF USED CARS

HONDA CIVIC 4.3

TOYOTA CAMRY 2.4

HONDA ACCORD 2.4

HONDA CR-V 2.1

CHEVROLET SILVERADO 1500 2.1

“For all the bitching and moaning about traffic, everyone is in 100 percent. It’s just like fashion. You have to pick something out of your closet each day to cover your naked ass. And when you buy a car, you have to choose something, and it’s likely going to say at least something about you.”

In a town whose chief industry is the creation of illusion, and where the truth, as the comedy legend Larry Gelbart once noted, is “as stretchable as a limo,” what a vehicle says about you can be a sincere expression of your taste or several miles distant from who you actually are and what station you occupy. L.A. has led the democratization of the luxury-car segment partly because the pressure to keep up appearances here is such that leasing a car you can’t possibly afford to buy confers upon an aspirant the sheen of legitimacy—you can fake it pretty much forever even if your chances of making at are essentially nil.

“I was in a Mercedes dealership once, and I was speaking with one of the sales guys,” says Angus MacKenzie, the former longtime editor of MotorTrend. “He told me a lady had come in that afternoon and wanted to lease a Mercedes, any Mercedes. Didn’t matter which one.

She told him, ‘I’ve got exactly $370 left every month after I pay my rent and other expenses. What can I get?’

The guy said he worked the numbers 15 different ways and got her into

TESLA DRIVERS

PORSCHE DRIVERS

MONIED CREATIVE-CLASS members.

Average household income of Model S owners is $151,000, 71 percent male. Tesla overall leans heavily Causcasion (87 percent) childless (66 percent), older (median age 54) and homeowning (88 percent). High-profile Hollywood owners appalled at meltdown of CEO Elon Musk may be headed for off ramp.

TOTAL CAR guy (even if female). Brand drips with totemic male power and status.

Jerry Seinfeld-style fanatics fill hangers at Santa Monica airport with choice models.

Adding sporty SUVs won over L.A. women, from Hollywood pros (Macan compact SUV) to multimillionaire Holmby Hills realtors-tothe-stars (Cayenne S Turbo).

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TOP SELLING LUXURY CARS IN L.A.

*EXCLUDES TESLA, WHICH DOESN’T REPORT NEW CAR SALES STATISTICS

PERCENTAGE OF NEW CARS

MERCEDES-BENZ GLC LEXUS RX 350 MERCEDES-BENZ GLE BMW X3 MERCEDES-BENZ C-CLASS BMW X5 AUDI Q5 LEXUS ES 300H MERCEDES-BENZ GLB MERCEDES-BENZ S-CLASS

1.0 1.0 0.8 0.8 0.7 0.6 0.6 0.5 0.4 0.4

PERCENTAGE OF USED CARS

MERCEDES-BENZ C-CLASS TESLA MODEL 3 MERCEDES-BENZ GLC BMW 3 SERIES MERCEDES-BENZ E-CLASS LEXUS RX 350 BMW X3 MERCEDES-BENZ GLE INFINITI Q50 AUDI Q5

1.2 1.1 0.8 0.7 0.6 0.6 0.6 0.5 0.5 0.5

tricked out with super-low-profile Stewart Reed, chairman of the a brand-new Mercedes for $369 a tires meant for a high-performance Transportation Design department month. That’s a very L.A. transacMercedes sedan. “This guy hit a potat ArtCenter College of Design in tion—she was broke but had to spend hole and blew out his tire,” Reed says.

Pasadena—alumni include some of every cent she had left to look like she PERCENT“I had to laugh.” the top automotive designers in the had it all together and could play in AGE Like the Angelenos who drive world—says he’s endlessly amazed the big kids’ pool.”

OF NEW them, cars represent a spectrum by the lengths Angelenos willCARS go Just how pervasive is L.A.’s car-asof personality types that often are to retrofit status gimcrackery onto status-signifier obsession? extensions of those of their owners. their rides even when it renders Several years ago, a 12-year-old “If it was just about transportation, them nearly unroadworthy. Recently, wrote Jay Leno a letter explaining he we’d all be driving the same gray Stewart saw a Hummer H2 SUV had told his classmates that Jay was box on wheels, and we aren’t,” his uncle and regularly drove MacKenzie says. “Whether conthe kid around town in Leno’s sciously or not, we are attracted green Lamborghini Countach. to the cars that say something “So I called the kid,” Leno told about us. Something sparks and me. “ ‘First off,’ ” I said, “ ‘You are says, ‘That’s me!’” a liar. I’m not your uncle. And, Volvo, the Swedish autosecond, put your parents on the IF IT WERE JUST ABOUT maker of aggressively practical phone.’ I asked if it was OK if TRANSPORTATION, and practically bulletproof I took the kid to school in the WE’D ALL BE DRIVING vehicles, attracts a demographic Lamborghini. They said, ‘Sure.’

THE SAME GRAY BOX. in L.A. for which the make’s So we pull up to the school, all WE ARE ATTRACTED anti-status virtue signaling the kids gather around, and the TO CARS THAT SAY perversely creates a status all its kid is in heaven. Then he gets SOMETHING ABOUT US. own. “It’s so anti-stylish that it out of the car and waves, ‘Bye, SOMETHING SPARKS has become stylish,” acknowlUncle Jay!’ That kid is probably AND SAYS, ‘THAT’S ME!’ ” edges Jill Sandin, an L.A.-based in prison now.”

JEEP DRIVERS

LEXUS DRIVERS

AUDI DRIVERS

THE WRANGLER has long been identified as a gay icon, especially among women.

(Jezebel awarded Wrangler third place, behind Subaru’s Forester and Outback, in its survey of Top 10 lesbian rides.) Women make up around 30 percent of Wrangler’s sales, and Jeep owner FCA promotes the brand with lifestyle-specific marketing.

CAPRICORNS WHO want a car to love that loves them back. Strong appeal among L.A. ethnic and racial cohorts: Asian, Black, Hispanic. Has few of the status hangups and none of the dark baggage of German luxury brands. Got a foothold in Hollywood in the ‘90s among Jewish execs as an alternative to Mercedes and never looked back.

TECHNOCRATS THAT manupulate the gears of power in PR and enterainment law. Severe styling and tech-saturated cabins on A7 model appeal to pros whose jobs are to displense with bullshit. A4 is L.A.’s now-and-forever ride for beleagured show biz PRs who need to be presentable at valet but not show up client’s Land Rover.

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PR executive in the hospitality industry and a lifetime Volvo owner who currently owns three. There was an aberrational blip between Volvos when Sandin got herself a MercedesBenz SUV. When the lease was up, she gave it back. “I felt like such an impostor in that thing,” Sandin laments. “So what does the Volvo say about me? I think of it as a left-wing smarty-pants car. It speaks to who I am.”

The Toyota Prius, the first massmarketed hybrid, was, upon its debut in 1997, the “It” car of progressive Hollywood until Tesla debuted its Model S—everyone from Steven Spielberg to Kirsten Dunst drove

one. Beyond its green bona fides, though, there didn’t seem too much to recommend the Prius from a style or performance standpoint—one auto expert who begged not to be identified told me, “the Prius is a car for people who don’t really like cars.”

But a decade ago, you would, in the course of daily driving, encounter multiple Priuses across L.A., each of which seemed to sport an Obama bumper sticker with the word “hope” in all caps. (I used to joke that Toyota should have sold an Obama Package alongside its optional Cold Weather Package.) Thus did the Prius become a rolling campaign proxy not only

for Obama but for lefty politics and policies, to the chagrin of those who drove the make and were now assumed to be woke progressives, whether they were or not.

So what would be today’s Prius counterpoint? Something Americanmade certainly, perhaps General Motors’s Corvette, which has been in continuous production since 1953 and whose adherents include our 77-year-old president, who in October pitted his personal ’67 Corvette against a 2015 Stingray owned by Michael Powell, son of the late U.S. secretary of state, on an episode of Jay Leno’s Garage. (Despite

L.A. CARCHETYPES

KAREN AND HER KIDDIE KAR SHE DRIVES AT DAWN IN a three-row minivan overflowing with her brood, en route to Le Lycée Français with a stop at Erewhon for a $17 strawberry skin smoothie sent back because it is insufficiently blended! I demand to speak to the manager!

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HYUNDAI DRIVERS

to GM, ‘Stop catering to this guy!’ I really want one of these. But once I sprouted some gray hair, I couldn’t do it; I didn’t want to be seen as CAR TROUBLE: Aftermath of a street take-

over on the Sixth Street Bridge. Hatched during the COVID lockdown, these so-called sideshows are more prevalent than ever.

APPEALS TO VALUE shoppers of means, solid alternative to the German premium-car hegemony. Overall demo is younger, more culturally diverse, and likely to include those of Korean and Japanese heritage. Hyundai keeps up with the Audis and BMWs and creates its own forward-looking status legacy.

GIVE THIS SIDESHOW THE HOOK

BMW DRIVERS

HROUGHOUT Southern California, the sound of revving engines and screeching tires piercing the night has become an increasingly infuriating fact of life. Those serpentine skid marks tattooed across intersections the following morning can be traced to L.A.’s latest scourge: the street takeover. These illegal “sideshows” play out when crowdsourced participants assume control of an intersection late at night and perform stunts, burnouts,

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ULTIMATE DRIVING machine owners, like those of other legacy luxury brands, skew older (median age 56), wealthier (average $124,800 annual income), more settled (90 percent own homes), and male (60 percent), according to survey of 3,000 BMW owners by Hedges & Company market research firm.

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‘that guy.’ ” Not helping matters is that the Corvettes’ status bona fides have been in decline since the late ’70s, when L.A.’s professional class turned to BMW and Mercedes sports cars. (Dirk Diggler, Mark Wahlberg’s character in Boogie Nights, toasts his ascension to porn star by scoring an orange ’77 Stingray coupe.) Starting

and doughnuts, drawing cheering onlookers who stand dangerously close to the action (at least six people have been killed in connection with takeovers). Sideshows were popularized in Oakland in the 1990s.

The rise of empty streets during the pandemic sparked a resurgence across L.A., including now-nightly high-speed races on Mulholland between Coldwater Canyon and Laurel Canyon that have locals on edge. The LAPD says its officers have disrupted or interdicted 40 percent more sideshows this year than in 2021, but the spontaneity of crowdsourced events gives police little warning, and particpants quickly melt away at the first sign of a response, especially when in proximity to a freeway on-ramp.

If arrested, showboaters can have their cars impounded, which probably represents the only realistic deterrent. —J O R D A N M U L A

S I X T H ST R E E T: M Y U N G J. C H U N / LO S A N G E L E S T I M E S V I A G E T T Y I M AG E S

hitting 116 miles per hour, Biden’s ’Vette never stood a chance.)

The Corvette’s aging male demographic suggests to many females a case of . . . overcompensation. This is not really fair. The all-new 2023 C8 Corvette Z06 is a beautifully balanced mid-engine beast that presents an astounding 0-to-60 mph time of 2.6 seconds. Still, who is the likely L.A. buyer of this most superlative ’Vette? “He’s got on Bermuda shorts, a Hawaiian shirt, he’s balding, has a paunch, and a set of golf clubs in the trunk, and he’s trying to recapture his youth,” says Karl Brauer, executive analyst at ISeeCars.com. “I say

in the ’80s, Angelyne hijacked the ‘Vette’s testosterone messaging by famously driving a succession of hot-pink models. And it’s hard to say what motivated Joan Didion to drive a yellow 1969 Stingray at the height of her fame; it speaks, well, volumes that she traded in her ’Vette for a Volvo when she and John Dunne moved from Malibu to Brentwood.

Rolls-Royce’s wild ride—from chariot of Old Hollywood swells like Frank Sinatra and Zsa Zsa Gabor to mustard-advert punch line in the ’80s to the make’s recent, near-miraculous embrace by L.A.’s youngish actors, athletes, musicians, and influencers—is a case study in how to reboot a brand in an era when perception and reality are increasingly blurred.

By 2010, “the average age of our customer was 60,” says Rolls-Royce U.S. marketing exec Gerry Spahn, who had a hand in reimagining the brand. “There was still a lot of Grey Poupon in the company.” The fix: go after the demographic Rolls once spurned. Taking a page from another dying brand, Rolls, like Gucci, pursued arrivistes—high-profile rappers, athletes, and influencers—with aggressively updated and entirely new models whose styling read as

L.A.’S TOP SELLING ELECTRIC CARS

NEARLY 18 PERCENT OF CARS BOUGHT IN CALIFORNIA IN 2022 WERE ELECTRIC, LEADING THE U.S. % OF NEW CARS 0.6

CHEVROLET BOLT EUV HYUNDAI IONIQ 5

0.6

0.5 0.3 0.2

FORD MUSTANG MACH-E KIA EV6 MERCEDESBENZ EQS

% OF USED CARS TESLA MODEL 3 1.1

TESLA MODEL S

0.3

TESLA MODEL X

0.3

TESLA MODEL Y

0.2 0.2

near parody of the classic Rolls. The sixtysomething faithful were aghast— Wayne Newton professed to hate the new look—but that was largely the point. Rolls 2.0 was a smash with newly minted nouveau riches, and sales soared. (Kylie Jenner’s 15-vehicle motor pool comprises no fewer than five Rollers, including a $300,000 Wraith with a custom pink interior.) L.A. is now Rolls-Royce’s No. 1 market.

“We’ve gone from tweed and leather elbow patches to people in their thirties and forties who are now almost exclusively new money—the musicians and sports and tech stars,”

L.A. CARCHETYPES

FOUR-WHEEL DIVAS MONIED MAWS (model, actress, whatever) alighting from offroad-ready SUVs that can climb mountains but will never encounter terrain more challenging than the Pasadena Freeway or the approach lane at CAA Death Star.

And proud of it.

CHEVROLET BOLT EV

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THE SOUND AND THE FURY HE CALIFORNIA State Assembly has finally taken steps to stifle the stupendous racket made by accelerating Harleys and barely street-legal supercars. Often that din is produced by aftermarket exhaust kits that push the noise generated well past the 75 decibels allowed by California law to 100 decibels or more. (For reference, a railroad locomotive horn blares at around 100 decibels.) In October, Governor Newsom signed into law AB 2496, authored by Assemblywoman Cottie Petrie-Norris . The law stipulates that

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drivers ticketed for an illegally modified exhaust will be required to prove they have fixed the modifications within three months, or the state will have the authority to pull their vehicle registration. Currently, those ticketed are required to bring their vehicles into compliance with the state’s existing noise law but are not mandated to show proof that the offending exhaust systems have been silenced. AB 2496 closes that loophole. Whether the law will make a significant dent in the din remains to be seen—police first have to pull over and cite the Thunderdome pretenders. But it’s a start. —J. M .

CADILLAC DRIVERS

MERCEDES-BENZ DRIVERS

BENTLEY DRIVERS

ONE OF the oldest demographics in the industry means Caddy has to adapt or die. Just-launched Lyriq electric could be a step in the right direction. According to the brand, 68 percent of Lyric buyers are Gen X or Gen Y, or roughly mid-forties to fifties. Also, 70 percent of buyers are new to the brand. Now all they need is Matthew McConaughey as spokesman.

TESLA KNOCKED MB’s S Class from its pedestal as L.A.’s default status ride.

The marque’s recent aggressive launch into premium electrics like the EQS sedan and SUV could restore its crown. More important are younger buyers with deep aspirational longing for the brand. Firsttime luxury buyers now skew 25 to 40 years old and self-idenitify as Hispanic.

WALTER WHITE’S former partners on Breaking Bad bought a Continental GT after stealing his patents. That should tell you something. Also, that Bentleys were the getaway car of choice for the Shelby family on Peaky Blinders. Yes, the demo is older, whiter, richer. But Bentleys are fast and beautiful and about marking your place in the world, especially in L.A.

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E X H AU ST: DA N I E L SA LC I U S / U N S P L A S H

says Spahn. “These people are not ashamed of their success—they want to celebrate it and show it off.”

Such status churn was rare in the days when television revolved around three networks and L.A. had five daily newspapers. In 1950s Los Angeles, if you had a Cadillac parked in your garage, you had arrived. Not only did the city’s white population covet the make, but so did Blacks.

It was one of the few things owned

by L.A’.s affluent that was enjoyed equally, regardless of race. Then, the 1960s brought sleek European and Japanese imports, commencing a white flight from American cars that, by the 1970s, had decimated Cadillac and left it teetering on insolvency.

But throughout, Blacks remained loyal to the brand and were there when its first SUV, the Escalade, rolled off the assembly line in 1998 not a minute too soon. With its aggressive styling and eye-catching stature, the Escalade became the darling of L.A. sports stars and West Coast rappers. It seemed nearly every player on the Lakers had one, or wanted one. Rappers, not known for subtlety, bought the Escalade and blinged it further with imposing chromed wheels and in-your-face colors. Cadillac shot to the top of the

“It” list. For 2023, building on the Escalade’s success, the brand is betting this demographic will embrace its gorgeous new electric SUV, the Lyriq. “[Blacks] have been Cadillac’s salvation for years,” says Neil.

And then there is Tesla, which currently fields the No. 1, No. 2, and No. 10 best-selling vehicles in California, gas or electric (the Models Y, 3, and S, respectively). Teslas are so ubiquitous on Westside thoroughfares that they comprise a virtual brand armada— and this from a company that never markets itself beyond its website and the increasingly disordered public commentary of CEO Elon Musk.

Tesla’s market share and L.A. ubiquity—an acquaintance counted 30 Teslas, parked or in motion, on a recent two-mile drive through West Hollywood—would seem unassailable. But Tesla now has the oldest lineup among electric automakers, and the styling of its models are variations on the same (also dated) silhouette. Meanwhile, an army of electric Tesla killers is marching across L.A., eager to steal the market share and cutting-edge status Tesla has owned unchallenged for a decade: Porche’s übersexy Taycan; Mercedes-Benz’s EQS, a billiondollar reboot of its S-Class flagship,

BLUE

RED

WHITE

5.8% 8.0% 30.1%

12.3%

SILVER

TOP CAR COLORS IN L.A.

19.8%

21.7%

GRAY

BLACK L.A. CARCHETYPES

VIRTUE SIGNALERS OWNERS (AND LESSEES) of the latest high-end EVs. Telegraph sanctimony for saving the planet while cutting off subordinate vehicles in zipper merge. Favorite pastime (when not patronizing the gasoline dependent): reporting HOV violations on the 405 to the CHP in real time.

L A M AG . C O M 8 1

Hollywood’s once and now maybe future status vehicle before Tesla ate its luxury lunch; and sleek offerings from electro-newbies Lucid, Rivian, and the revamped Fisker.

“Tesla is old hat now to early adopters,” an auto industry insider told me.

“Angelenos are starting to look around for the next big thing, and it could be something like the Rivian. Some big, fuck-off electric vehicle. Elon Musk needs to come up with something very different to keep the interest of his current customers. A lot of people in L.A. now have a 10-year-old Tesla Model S. What are they going to buy?

Another Model S? No, they’re bored.”

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That describes Phil Rosenthal, creator of Everybody Loves Raymond and star of the Netflix series Somebody Feed Phil. Rosenthal was one of the first 300-some buyers to nab a Tesla Model S ten years ago. “I was that early adopter,” says Rosenthal. “But I want to try something new.” Musk’s extremist politics and fraught Twitter takeover may be giving the faithful pause, but defectors for now seem the exception. Lew Schneider drives his Tesla 3 to the set of The Goldbergs, where he is a director. “For the longest time, I didn’t want to be ‘that guy’ in the Tesla, just another L.A. copycat. Now that I

have one, I’m that cool guy in a Tesla.

I love my car.”

There is evidence that L.A.’s caras-status-marker could be waning, though not necessarily for reasons of egalitarianism. Precedence informs us that before he switched to the Model S that he credited with saving his life after the car was totaled in

L.A. CARCHETYPES

ROGER RETRO EASTSIDE HIPSTER all about irony and cognitive dissonance. Believes in climate change yet enthusiastically drives unrestored, hydrocarbon-spewing 1970s Coupe de Ville or Chrysler Imperial that gets seven miles per gallon. In his mind, always: Isn’t this hilarious?

I USED TO HAVE A FERRARI, AND PEOPLE WERE REALLY HOSTILE TO ME, THINKING I WAS A JERK BECAUSE I HAD THIS RACY, LOUD ITALIAN SPORTS CAR. BUT SINCE I GOT MY ASTON MARTIN, I KEEP GETTING THE THUMBS-UP FROM OTHER DRIVERS. I LIKE THAT. I DON’T WANT TO BE THOUGHT OF AS A JERK.” a 2015 wreck, Jeffrey Katzenberg’s daily driver was a black Mustang (he was said to have downgraded from a stick-shift Porsche so he could field cell calls more easily.)

Lately, stupendously wealthy stars have been spotted puttering around town in prole rides like the $13,000 Scion XB (Tom Hanks); $26,000 Toyota Tacoma (Christian Bale); and $19,000 VW Jetta (Justin Timberlake). Outside the Golden Triangle, Mark Zuckerberg has turned up in a Honda Fit and Jeff Bezos in an Accord. What gives?

A study by Experian Automotive found that 61 percent of individuals with incomes of more than $250,000 seek out prole iron like Fords and Hondas. Another study found the Ford F-150 was the most popular vehicle in the U.S. for those earning $200,000 or more. Has Hollywood actually parked its love of flexy rides?

Maybe. But it is equally plausible that L.A.’s stars aren’t, in fact, just like us and are simply acknowledging a depressing new reality: with the rise in follow-home robberies and assaults in L.A. and Beverly Hills, piloting a selfless Ford instead of a look-at-me Lambo reduces the likelihood of trouble and foils standard-issue rubberneckers to boot.

Meanwhile, only in L.A. is the valet the ultimate arbiter of whether one’s vehicle makes the cut as a status wagon or a flat tire. The judgment is swift and brutal, the gallery packed with a watchful captive audience waiting for their own wheels. Will yours be granted a spot in the handful

of conspicuous parking spots off the porte cochere when you arrive, thus averting a 10-minute wait clutching a fiver while it is hauled from the garage? On a recent Saturday night, my husband and I hopped in the back seat of our friend James’s new Aston Martin DBX 707. James has coveted Aston Martins ever since he saw James Bond drive a DB5 in Goldfinger when he was 15. “I used to have a Ferrari, and people were really hostile to me, thinking I was a jerk because I had this racy, loud Italian sports car,” he says. “But ever since I got my first Aston Martin, I keep getting the thumbs-up from other drivers. It’s a totally different reaction, and I like that. I don’t want to be thought of as a jerk.”

We arrived at swanky Capo just as Michael Keaton was exiting his new paper-plated Tesla. James’s Aston Martin would have to tap its A game if it was to garner any attention at this gathering of automotive beauties: a spanking new white Land Rover Defender and a smattering of Porsche Cayennes, an Escalade, and the requisite Mercedeses of various flavors. The question was, with only three spots out front, would the Aston be waiting there for us when we finished dinner? Also, would I relive, by proxy, my mortifying Lamborghini valet censure all those years ago at Katsuya?

After dinner, we strolled out of Capo and beheld the verdict: James’s new baby was parked directly in front of the valet stand, precisely where we left it, having never been moved.

CAR TUNES 4 U

SKIDMARKS ON MY HEART THE G0-GO’S Our heroine’s boyfriend loves his Pontiac GTO more than her.

“I buy you cologne, you want axle grease. You say get a mechanic, I say get a shrink.”

FREE FALLIN’ TOM PETTY Gratuitous mentions of Mulholland Highway, with the immortal “Move west. . . down. . .Ven-tur-a Boul-e-vard.”

MY CARZ SNOOP DOGG Nothing but Detroit iron for Snoop: “ ’Lacs, Impalas, and Corvettes . . . My cars, they hot, my paint is wet.”

DEAD MAN’S CURVE JAN & DEAN Name-checks La Brea, Schwab’s, and Crescent Heights.

“He passed me at Doheny, then I started to swerve . . . Won’t come back from Dead Man’s Curve.”

BACKSEAT FREESTYLE KENDRICK LAMAR In which Lamar dreams of power and is rewarded with a Maserati.

“Park it in front of Lueders, next to that Church’s Chicken.”

Yeah, that’ll show ’em . . .

BARTENDER LANA DEL REY Lana buys a truck and hits the PCH with a bartender hookup by her side. Destination?

“Sixty miles from the last place I hide.” From Norman Fucking Rockwell!, with more L.A. references than a Thomas Guide.

L A M AG . C O M 8 3

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CHEVROLET BOLT

POWER TRIPS FACING A CALIFORNIA DEADLINE MANDATING EMMISION-FREE VEHICLES BY 2035 (AND A HUGE SALES LEAD BY TESLA), AUTOMAKERS FROM MERCEDES BENZ TO GENERAL MOTORS ARE CHARGING UP THEIR EV GAME WITH ELECTRIFYING OPTIONS

INTRODUCED in 2016 and subjected to a crippling recall last year, the humble Bolt and its new SUV-like flanker are suddenly the bestselling non-Tesla EVs in America. The original Bolt is also the cheapest.

With refreshed styling for 2022, the hatchback delivers a solid 259 miles of range and zippy performance. Looking for an affordable electric carabout-town? Consider the Bolt. $25,600

B Y M I C H A E L WA L K E R

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PORSCHE TAYCAN PORSCHE WAS caught flat-footed when Tesla cannonballed into the luxury sporting category it had owned with the iconic 911. Stuttgart’s first all-in Tesla killer bowed to raves for its cunning styling and for infusing classic Porsche performance and handling into this slinky four-door electric. It wasn’t long before the Taycan was outselling the 911. $86,700 8 4 L A M AG . C O M

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FORD F-150 LIGHTNING LOOKING nearly identical to Ford’s iconic bestselling pickup, the F-150 Lightning was designed to mimic its gas-powered source material to coax F-150 loyalists across the EV divide. Still, there’s no way to attenuate the Lightning’s face-flattening torque and acceleration; the electric F-150 hits 60 mph in 4.1 seconds. Not that anyone’s complaining. $51,974

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MERCEDESBENZ EQS THE LIKELY successor to Mercedes’s petrol S-Class flagship, the EQS is a cleansheet manifesto for M-B’s electric future. If the EQS is any indication, expect gobs of tech, a typically cosseting Benz interior, head-snapping acceleration and rock-steady tracking, and a cabin so completely isolated from road and wind noise you’ll think you’re piloting a Gulfstream instead of a 5,300-pound sedan. $102,310

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FISKER OCEAN

VOLKSWAGEN ID.4

MINI COOPER SE

HENRIK FISKER’S Karma was one of the first modern production electric cars before the former BMW designer’s Fisker Automotive went bankrupt in 2013. Now, Fisker is back with Ocean, an SUV just starting deliveries to buyers who preordered. Based in Manhattan Beach, Fisker is one of a brace of new California EV makers, including Lucid and Rivian, challenging Tesla on its home turf. $37,499

EAGER TO repent for its Dieselgate scandal, and with an eye toward zero-emission mandates worldwide, VW has spent billions reorienting its business model around EVs. The ID.4, the first offering from its forward-leaning line of electrics, provides 200 miles-plus range, DC fastcharging capability, and a minimalist cabin with Zen-like simplicity, especially when specced in white. $37,495

THE MINI EV delivers the marque’s famously nimble handling, introduced with the 1959 petrol-powered original and refined for the brand’s 2001 relaunch under BMW’s capable patronage. The 2023 electric Mini’s snug cabin, outfitted with retro touches like toggle switches and a digititzed analog tachometer, recalls the vintage Minis that ruled Swinging London in the 1960s. $37,495 L A M AG . C O M 8 5

H E N A D M V C U S TO M E R supposedly wanted to express his affection for his two children, Kyle and Sean, he applied for a vanity plate that read “KYLSEAN.” A sharp-eyed DMV staffer reviewing the proposed plate quickly raised an alarm. “Kill Sean!” he scrawled on the side of the application. Request denied.

KYLSEAN was one of 20,000 requests for personalized plates that the California DMV received that month, among the hundreds of thousands reviewed annually by the department. Applicants are required to fill out a form and list the personalized plate they desire, along with a brief explanation as to why they want it. Whether or not the plate sees the light of day falls to a panel of four beleaguered bureaucrats, who weed through the pile and ferret out requests that are racist, tawdry, or otherwise offensive.

It’s a tougher job than you might think. Ever since vanity plates were introduced in 1972, Californians have tried sneaking all manner of sly euphemisms and overt obscenities past the department’s guardians of civility.

Official DMV policy rejects “any personalized license plate configuration that [carries] connotations offensive to good taste and decency.” Broadly, this covers anything with sexual, racial, or profane meaning—even if it’s unintentional. When one customer requested a plate inscribed with his last name, Moorehed, reviewers denied it for its potential profanity. Although the customer’s last name really was Moorehead, they explained, “it looks like ‘more head’’—a sexual reference.”

Helpful departmental guidelines also warn reviewers to watch out for words like “pink,” “monkey,” and “muffin”—all euphemisms for vagina—along with their phallic counterparts like “knackers,” “anaconda,” and “nards.” Any configuration with the word “hate” gets tossed as well.

Porcine references like “pig,” “swine,” or even “oink” are also verboten because they’re deemed derogatory to police. More controversially, the guidelines instruct evaluators to pass on any plate with the word “Jew” in it—indicative of the word’s function as both an identifier and pejorative. (References to Christians, Muslims, and Buddhists are alright.)

There are exceptions, however. While “box” is generally rejected as a “vagina reference,” the DMV will allow it on a plate if the customer owns “a ‘Box’ type vehicle such as a Scion or a Porsche Boxster.” Similarly, only cars built in 1969 can use the number 69 on their plates.

As one of the most diverse states in the nation, California contains an expansive lexicon of offensive, lewd, and inappropriate words and cultural references. (Californians speak at least 220 languages—that’s 220 different ways to say “poop.”) But armed with Google Translate, Wikipedia, and Urban Dictionary, the DMV’s sentries gamely manage to weed out profanity in multiple languages, coded Nazi symbolism, and obscure internet acronyms.

Los Angeles obtained thousands of rejected applications after an official records act request. Here are a few of the more brazen, creative, and accidentally provocative plates, complete with the applicant’s explanation and the DMV’s response.

W

BONFIRE VANITY PLATES

OF THE

EVERY YEAR, HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF CALIFORNIANS APPLY FOR PERSONALIZED PLATES. FOUR EAGLE-EYED SENTRIES SPEND THEIR DAYS SEPARATING THE NICE FROM THE NASTY

BY SAMUEL BRASLOW

8 6 L A M AG . C O M

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

In remembrance of me and my girlfriend’s anniversary. Meaning be my bae, before anyone else.

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

DMV COMMENTS:

DMV COMMENTS:

Husband and wife initials and year of marriage.

DMV COMMENTS:

8 Looks like hate; JWS looks like Jews.

VERDICT: No

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

APPLICANT EXPLANATION: DMV COMMENTS:

Bae = poop in Danish.

VERDICT: No

Playful joke.

DMV COMMENTS:

BMW hunter—he has an Audi. So he’s hunting down BMW drivers?

VERDICT: No

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

I’m the extension of my dad.

My father’s name is “Dick” and I was named after him.

DMV COMMENTS:

Dick extension. Customer’s name is Brant.

VERDICT: No

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

Funky trumpet in the funk music genre.

DMV COMMENTS:

Fuck Trump.

VERDICT: No

On my way to bang your bitch.

What he said.

VERDICT: No

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

Sad time in my life and my car is blue.

DMV COMMENTS:

Blew me.

VERDICT: No

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

We are always getting busy in our home. I’m a single mom, work, school, band, city council meetings, sports, dr appt, etc. Getting busy!!!

DMV COMMENTS:

Lit is a slang term which means good, amazing, etc!

Lit = intoxicated, slit = rude slang for a woman or vagina.

VERDICT: No

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

It has no meaning. I just want to get it because I like it. That’s it.

We love Palm Springs.

DMV COMMENTS:

Looks like we love pussy.

VERDICT: No

I L LU S T R AT E D BY C O M R A D E

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

I’m a professional fisherman and I fish for tuna all over the world.

DMV COMMENTS:

I googled him. He is and he does.

VERDICT: No

Schlafer is German for sleeper.

DMV COMMENTS:

420 = National Smoke Day; 4-20 = marijuana.

VERDICT: No

Also means sleeper in the sense of an inactive agent or terrorist (Wikipedia).

VERDICT: No

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

DMV COMMENTS:

DMV COMMENTS:

DMV COMMENTS:

Have unwavering faith (4) respect the day.

Who farted.

VERDICT: No

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

I have a white cat named “Moby.” I want to name my white car after her.

DMV COMMENTS:

Celebration of my son moving out of the house.

Dick.

In support of climate change initiatives.

VERDICT: No

Looks like no to cooch.

VERDICT: No

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

The lettering and numbers in this plate are the same as a chest my grama left me when she passed away.

Myself being a middleaged woman.

DMV COMMENTS:

DMV COMMENTS:

Hot and sexy.

VERDICT: Yes

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

DMV COMMENTS:

DMV COMMENTS:

DMV COMMENTS:

Moby dick . . . Moby cat . . . vagina?

VERDICT: No

Fish ball.

Fish . . . Ball . . . Some sort of sexual?

VERDICT: No

Looks similar to a text penis.

VERDICT: No

I am a nurse anesthetist.

Gas passer. She passes gas (farts).

VERDICT: No

Getting busy.

VERDICT: Yes

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

The rock band Tool’s second album title from 1996.

DMV COMMENTS:

Custom meaning is true, but sounds like enema VERDICT: No

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

My nickname.

DMV COMMENTS:

Shiksa = noun (often derogatory, used by Jews), a non-Jewish girl, dictionary.com.

VERDICT: No

Am a gay man who loves playing video games (Gay . . . Gaymur) DMV COMMENTS:

Looks like he’s saying “gamer” but using “gay” . . .

Could be taken offensively?

VERDICT: Yes

APPLICANT EXPLANATION:

Saint Anne is an important historical figure, and someone who I model my life after.

DMV COMMENTS:

Satan.

VERDICT: Yes L A M AG . C O M 8 7

8 8 L A M AG . C O M

B LVSAC K BROWN THE UGLY HISTORY BEHIND THE CITY COUNCIL SCANDAL

The secretly recorded tapes that blew up L.A. politics are filled with hateful smears and racial resentments.

Why are old-guard Latino politicians so angry at their African American neighbors? It goes back 40 years BY SA M Q U I N O N E S AND PETER KIEFER

ILLUSTRATED BY ROBERT CARTER

L A M AG . C O M 8 9

A month ago, not many Angelenos had heard of Nury Martinez.

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American residents? Or is half the city’s population still being treated as a marginalized community?

The conversations on those tapes uncork numerous simmering resentments—a belief that Latinos are indeed underrepresented; that the grievances of African Americans—specifically surrounding policing—get a lopsided amount of attention and aren’t necessarily shared by their Latino neighbors; that white progressives, who have a history of coalition building with African Americans dating back to the Tom Bradley era, have conspired to undermine Latino progress; and that the country’s current run-amok tribalism demands that everyone vote for someone who looks just like them.

“There’s a double standard when it comes to discussing race,” says Nilza Serrano, president of the Latino advocacy group Avance Democratic. “Most institutions see race relations as Black and white, and it often feels like people view all Latinos as foreigners. We’re an easy target because we’re quiet people. We work, go home, and spend time with our family. We don’t have the same energy that other communities have to protest. We have a severe problem of us being unseen and unheard, and L I F E ’ S A B E AC H

Councilman Mike Bonin and family in a Facebook post from Channel Islands National Park.

B O N I N : FAC E B O O K .CO M / M I K E B O N I N C D 1 1

Today, she’s one of the most famous politicians in L.A.— and not in good way.

Martinez, of course, is the recently resigned Latina city council president who was caught on tape—along with fellow Latino council members Kevin de León and Gil Cedillo, as well as former Federation of Labor president Ron Herrera, also Latino—raging against Black politicians and others during a private, secretly recorded 2021 meeting that in October was anonymously leaked to the internet, triggering one of the biggest political scandals in recent city history. Although there were plenty of incriminating sound bites to go around— “What have any of them done for Latinos?” Herrera could be heard railing against African American activists—it was Martinez who scored the most ink with her colorful denunciations of councilman Mike Bonin. She referred on the tape to her white, gay, progressive colleague as a “little bitch,” calling his adopted Black child a “changuito,” or “little monkey.”

The backlash, no surprise, was frenzied and immediate. Martinez was pushed to resign. Ditto Herrera. For the moment, de León and Cedillo are still clinging to their jobs, but calls for their resignations—from no less powerful Democratic voices than President Biden and Governor Newsom—continue to grow every day. The scandal hasn’t merely scrambled L.A. politics, possibly even impacting the impending mayoral race—between an African American woman and an Italian American billionaire who has lately been suggesting that Italians are actually a sort of Latino— but it’s also trained a light on a long-simmering, historically violent racial rift that extends far beyond city limits. One that happens to be almost entirely ignored by the media.

That would be Black vs Brown.

When you peel away the headline-grabbing racial ad hominem invective being spewed in those tapes, they actually reveal an inconvenient truth behind L.A. politics. The city’s Latino population has soared to more than 50 percent in recent years, while L.A.’s African American population has dwindled to below 9 percent, less than half of what it was in the 1960s. What Martinez and the others were really talking to each other about, when they weren’t indulging in hate speech, is whether Latinos’ representation in local government has kept pace with their exploding population growth. Do Latinos have fair representation within various city departments, including—and especially—L.A.’s 15-seat city council? Are they getting as much political oxygen as, say, L.A.’s African

D E L E Ó N , M A R T I N E Z : I R FA N K H A N / LO S A N G E L E S T I M E S V I A G E T T Y I M AG E S ; C E D I L LO : M I C H A E L T U L L B E R G /G E T T Y I M AG E S

TA P E D C R U S A D E R S Councilman Kevin de León (left) and former city council president Nury Martinez at a meeting in 2022, just before the scandal broke. Inset: Councilman Gil Cedillo.

The Mexicans who arrived found jobs at the bottom rungs of this new economy. Seeking the cheapest housing, many found it in Black areas—Compton, Inglewood, SouthCentral—just as Black gangs in those neighborhoods were emerging as a powerful new force in urban life. In time, Mexican migrants would transform those areas. But for many years, they remained outnumbered and silent.

With the power and demographic relationships so tilted in their favor, Crips and Bloods made constant victims of the newly arrived immigrants. For many migrants in those areas, their formative “IF YOU experience of life in the United States was R I C H A R D VA L D E M A R , a retired DIDN’T working for much higher pay than they 30-year veteran of the Los Angeles County KNOW HOW could get in Mexico—usually paid in cash— Sheriff ’s Department who served on the TO FIGHT, and then being robbed of that hard-earned Federal Metropolitan Gang Task Force, money by Black gangs. grew up in Compton in the 1960s, when YOU WERE A “They had no protection; they became Blacks lined up after school and picked out PERPETUAL permanent victims,” said Valdemar. “Most the Latino kids to beat up. “It was a racial VICTIM. THE of them wouldn’t call the police. They were thing, Blacks and Hispanics sharing the FIRST THING constantly being beaten up. They’d be worksame limited resources,” Valdemar says. “If I LEARNED ing construction jobs and get paid in cash you didn’t know how to fight, you were a perWAS HOW on Friday. Crips would be waiting for them, petual victim. The first thing I learned was TO FIGHT.” armed to the teeth, on Fridays.” how to fight.”

Few politicians or police officers spoke Valdemar, a Mexican American, was a Spanish, and Latino political power was a fraction of what it deputy sheriff in Compton in the 1970s and into the 1980s, is today—in large part because so few Latinos could vote. Not when the numbers of undocumented Mexican immigrants only were many Mexican immigrants illegally in the country, started to grow from a trickle to a tsunami. These were but many also still dreamed of returning home someday. This years, too, when Southern California’s economy began to humiliation at the hands of their Black neighbors fostered a shift. Its heavy industries—tire, automotive, steel—left, takresentment toward Black people in general that festered for ing well-paid union jobs with them. They were replaced by years in emerging Mexican neighborhoods. service jobs, non-union construction, and minimum-wage Then, in the 1980s, a shift began in many parts of Los factory work. we have to do better. We don’t get the resources, and it’s disappointing and frustrating. And sometimes that frustration comes out in ways that aren’t positive and constructive.”

In other words, to fully translate what’s really being said on those secret recordings of the city council’s “little Latino caucus”—as Herrera at one point describes the meeting’s attendees—you have to first learn the vocabulary of Latino history in L.A. You have to go back some 40 years, to the sad, ugly, and often shockingly bloody origins of the Black vs Brown political paradigm.

L A M AG . C O M 9 1

Valdemar says. “But all the gang members coming into the Angeles. Some areas, like Florence-Firestone, went from 80 jail system were being indoctrinated into this no-Black thing. percent Black to 90 percent Latino. Compton, Inglewood, They go back out onto the street, and those rules become a Lynwood, and Black enclaves on both sides of the 110, big thing.” became majority Latino. On the streets for a time, Black and Eventually, inevitably, the “no-Black thing” led to open warLatino gangs maintained an uneasy balance of power. They fare, with Black vs Brown skirmishes erupting in the 1990s all often occupied parallel universes on the same streets, focusover L.A. On the Westside, Shoreline Crips ing less on each other and more on rivals of battled Venice 13 (many Latino gangs affixed their own race in other neighborhoods.

“THERE “13” to their names, M being the 13th letter That was not the case, however, in WERE A LOT of the alphabet). In Compton, Fruit Town California’s prison system, which at around OF BLACKS Pirus and Tortilla Flats, who had coexisted the same time became something of an WE GREW more or less peacefully, began a brutal conincubator for racial animus. The so-called UP WITH. f lict that stretched for years. Meanwhile, Mexican Mafia—known as “Eme,” Spanish various Latino factions—gangs formed in for “M”—was largely formed behind bars.

BUT IT WAS and out of prison—began to coalesce into a Many of its first jailhouse gang members LIKE, more unified force. weren’t immigrants; they were secondFORGET WE In 1992, a longtime Mexican Mafia memgeneration Mexican Americans who barely GREW UP ber named Peter “Sana” Ojeda held a meeting spoke a word of Spanish. But, together with PLAYING at El Salvador Park in Santa Ana, which Sureños, another Latino gang, Eme reguBIG WHEELS turned out to be a pivotal moment in Latino lated contraband and kept the groups’ own TOGETHER.” gang history, at which the prison-born Eme brutal order in prison yards across the state. took operational control over pretty much all They also—and this is key—went to war with the Latino street gangs. They began holding meetings, sendBlack gangs throughout the prison system. When they weren’t ing emissaries to other Latino street gangs, and established battling one another, the Brown and Black inmates mainsomething like an underground economy by taxing drug tained an almost Jim Crow-like segregation, using separate dealers in their neighborhoods (a system of extortion that still water fountains, separate showers, and separate telephones, exists today in many barrios across Southern California). not so much as bumming a cigarette from one another.

And they did one other thing as well: They went to war Predictably, this prison-bred animosity eventually spread with Black gangs. beyond jailhouse walls, as a younger, more business-minded This wasn’t entirely a racially motivated decision; it was generation of Eme—the Pepsi Generation, they were called— also economic. In a cold prison calculus, the Mexican Mafia took their prejudices with them when they cycled out of the set out to crush drug-dealing competition from the Black system. “In the 1980s, this was not happening on the street,” 9 2 L A M AG . C O M

M U R A L : T E D S O Q U I /CO R B I S V I A G E T T Y I M AG E S

U N TO U C H A B L E This “La Vida Loca” mural on a wall in Westlake, a tribute to L.A.’s powerful 18th Street gang, has never been painted over by taggers or the city,

1 . : FAC E B O O K .CO M /G A N G S E TS ; 2 . : O R A N G E CO U N T Y S H E R I F F ’ S D E PA R T M E N T/ T H E O R A N G E CO U N T Y R E G I ST E R V I A A P ; 3 : K E N H I V E LY/ LO S A N G E L E S T I M E S V I A G E T T Y I M AG E S ; 4 . : T E D S O Q U I /CO R B I S V I A G E T T Y I M AG E S

gangs who had made crack cocaine into big business. “They specifically targeted the 8-Trey and East Coast Crips because they controlled drug trade in South-Central, and the Mexican Mafia wanted to take that from them,” says Valdemar.

It wasn’t long, though, before the war on Blacks spilled over from attacks on Crips and other gangs to attacks on “civilians” who just happened to be Black. In the San Fernando Valley, an Eme member named Adrian “Vamp” Salmeron held a meeting of 200 gang members in Dexter Park where he all but declared open warfare. “They said, ‘It’s open season on all Blacks,’” recalls Salmeron’s cousin, Anthony “Droopy” Navarro, a Pacoima gang member now on death row for murder. “That’s when the homies went at it with the Blacks in San Fernando Gardens [housing project]. There were a lot of Blacks we grew up with. But once that greenlight came out, it was like, forget that we grew up playing Big Wheels together.

We should have just made peace with the Blacks and made money together. But Vamp wasn’t having it.”

In Hawaiian Gardens, HG13 firebombed a Black family’s home, and a member killed a well-known Black high-school football player, Mark Hammonds, as he walked down the street. In Highland Park, the Avenues gang staged a longrunning campaign to rid that neighborhood of Blacks. The Big Hazard gang in Ramona Gardens firebombed Black families that had the audacity to move into the housing project.

And so it went for some 15 years, from Riverside to the San Fernando Valley, as Latino gangs absorbed the ruthless mafia edicts, empowered by their growing demographics and the shifting balance of power on the streets.

Perhaps the best—or, rather, worst—example of all this was the 2006 slaying of Cheryl Green, a 14-year-old Black girl from Harbor Gateway. The shooter, Jonathan Fajardo, 18, was a member of 204th Street, a Latino gang that had by then been attacking and murdering new Black residents in the neighborhood for several years. (Fajardo, who was himself half Black, was convicted, sentenced to death, and then fatally stabbed by another inmate on San Quentin’s death row in 2018.)

Harbor Gateway, a tiny sliver of the strip that connects Los Angeles with the San Pedro port, was a sleepy, mostly unknown area before the murder. But the Los Angeles Times ran a story outlining the history of racial attacks on Blacks by 204th Street. Within two weeks, a press conference— attended by former FBI Director Robert Mueller, Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, Police Chief Bill Bratton, and Sheriff Lee Baca—was held outside a tiny market the gang claimed as its territory, and which it prohibited Blacks from visiting.

Not long after that, federal racketeering indictments against Latino street gangs began pulling hundreds of Latino gang members off the streets and back into prison. The war on Blacks finally began to sputter to an end.

By 2010, much of the classic gang violence that had plagued Southern California’s working-class neighborhoods was disappearing. Graffiti began to vanish; parks once again became safe for children, and while gangs still persisted, they became more focused on economic crimes like drug dealing, credit-card fraud, gun-running, smash-and-grab jewelry robberies, and pimping. Not great, by any stretch

1

THE GANG’S ALL HERE

2

1. Members of Eme in prison. 2. A mug shot of Mexican Mafia boss Peter Ojeda. 3. A 2007 vigil for Cheryl Green, a 14-year-old victim of gang violence. 4. Then-FBI Director Robert Mueller with then-Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, vowing to crack down on gangs in 2007.

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of the imagination, but certainly better than the race-hate mayhem that had come before.

The change gave many Latino neighborhoods a new lease on life. Property values began to soar, and residents could finally unlock the value in their homes that so many other Southern Californians took for granted. In Los Angeles, homicides began a multiyear decline that has reversed only in the last two years. Meanwhile, racial mixing among young people has changed not just the complexion of the streets but also the attitudes of the residents.

And yet, even as relative peace has settled throughout much of the land, you can still hear echoes of this grim history in today’s political battles. The barrio resentments and prison-bred edicts; the feeling that nothing is given but must be taken; that if one side wins, the other loses; and that crossing racial lines somehow betrays one’s own race.

It’s all there, if you listen carefully enough, in those leaked conversations of the city council’s Latino caucus.

A S K M I G U E L S A N TA N A ,

9 4 L A M AG . C O M

FA L L O U T

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1. Councilman Mike Bonin and Council candidate Eunisses Hernandez joining protesters demanding the resignations of Councilmen Kevin de León and Gil Cedillo. 2. Demonstrations held at de León’s Eagle Rock home. 3. More protests at City Hall.

optimistic. A new generation of Latino politicians appears to be on the rise, and although many of them are driven by the problematic progressive identity politics of the day, at least their ideologies don’t pit Black people against Brown.

“I’m a Latina woman,” says Eunisses Hernandez, 32, who last June stunned the political establishment by defeating incumbent Cedillo to win the District 1 primary (despite demand for his resignation, Cedillo seems intent on sticking to the job until his term runs out in January). “I come from a migrant family, and I’ve been in spaces where people are advocating just for Latinos—and that’s just not the way that I roll. The difference between me and Nury [Martinez] is that her generation tries to preserve what they believe is power.

They think that comes from just one community. For me, the way we build power in our generation is building out the table to include all the communities that have been harmed.

That builds real power and solidarity.”

It is, perhaps, poetic justice that the release of the secret tapes may have opened an opportunity for this new generation to grab control. At this writing, the city is deeply focused on the mayoral race between Congresswoman Karen Bass and developer Rick Caruso, but the real dramatic shift may well come on the council. A slew of younger candidates—politicians whose mindset was formed not by gang warfare or the other struggles of the ’90s (like Proposition 187, the notoriously anti-Latino ballot initiative that banned

B O N I N , H E R N A D E Z : B R I A N VA N D E R B R U G / LO S A N G E L E S T I M E S ; U N I T Y: M E L M E LCO N / LO S A N G E L E S T I M E S V I A G E T T Y I M AG E S

president and CEO of the Weingart Foundation and a former city administrative officer, what the tapes ultimately reveal, and he’ll tell you it’s about one thing and one thing only: power.

“I don’t think there was anything unique about what we heard on those tapes that wasn’t quintessential Los Angeles,” says Santana, whose career in L.A. politics stretches back nearly 40 years.

“This city was founded with a political system that’s zerosum. It was established on the idea that those in power are going to preserve that power and maintain it—often at the expense of marginalized communities. The last names [on the tapes] may have changed, but it’s still just a reflection of how power has been hoarded.”

Santana isn’t the only one who believes the Black vs Brown narrative is being overplayed. “I’m someone who has studied race my entire career, and I’m always thinking everything is about race,” says Raphael Sonenshein at the Pat Brown Institute for Public Affairs at Cal State L.A. “I’m hearing people say that this [tape] ripped the Band-Aid off Black and Latino relations and exposed the real L.A. And I’m thinking, no, it hasn’t. Everybody in the Latino leadership is calling on them to resign.”

Still, the tapes are what the tapes are, and they clearly reveal that the rift between Latinos and African Americans remains real. The difference between then and now, though, is that the Black vs Brown power struggle is no longer playing out in the streets or in prisons but in the relative civility of city council meetings. Bare-knuckled as those taped conversations sometimes are, they are definitely an improvement over the gang battles that came before.

What comes next, obviously, is something of an open question. But there are reasons to be hopeful, if not exactly

P R OT E ST: G E N A R O M O L I N A / LO S A N G E L E S T I M E S V I A G E T T Y I M AG E S

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Latino community. Recent polls show that, nationally, undocumented immigrants from receiving public services, Latino voters have moved to the right over the past several supported by both white conservatives and Black voters) but years, which puts them at odds with progressive, defundby the Black Lives Matter movement of the 2020s—seems the-police candidates like Hernandez. “People say that they inches from grasping power. don’t feel safe in the city at this moment, but in what other In addition to Hernandez, council candidate Hugo Sotomoment in history have we given police more money than we Martínez, 39, has a decent shot of ousting Mitch O’Farrell in do today?” Hernandez says, explaining her the race for District 13. Progressive candicontroversial position. “When people ask date Erin Darling, 41, is neck and neck with “WE’RE me about the budget, my response is that lawyer Traci Park in the race for District GOING we need to reassess where we are putting 11, and Assemblyman Isaac Bryan, 30, is THROUGH A our resources.” rumored to be eyeing a council run in the TRANSITION And yet, in a recent survey, nearly half of future—potentially making a play for the WHERE Latino Angelenos said they wanted to see seat in District 10 once held by Mark Ridleypolice funding hold steady, while a third of Thomas, who was forced to step down over a IDENTITY those polled want to see funding increase. corruption scandal.

POLITICS Which may well ex pla in how a self“I think the new generation is less focused HAVE TO described Italian Latino like Caruso, the on race and ethnicity than the generation CHANGE. so-called law-and-order candidate, appears before,” says Villaraigosa, who, in 2005, MAYBE THE to be doing so well with Latino voters. became the first Latino elected mayor of STARTING “The younger generation think that all Los Angeles in more than 100 years. “This POINT of this [previous progress] just magically generation are much more the product of a IS L.A.” happened,” says Avance’s Serrano, who’s not growing consciousness in America that we entirely a fan of the young guard. “I don’t should judge people by the content of their think they respect the work that Kevin, Gil, and Nury have character and not the color of their skin. They’re more open done to allow them to stand on their shoulders.” to other races and nationalities than the generation before.”

With a week to go before the November 8 election, one Ana Guerrero, a top aide to outgoing mayor Eric Garcetti, thing has been abundantly clear. Los Angeles’s city council agrees. “I think we’re going through a transition now where will never be the same. And whoever ends up taking power, identity politics are going to have to change,” she says. “And whatever their age or race or ideology, they are all 100 permaybe the starting point for that is a place like Los Angeles.” cent certain to do exactly the same thing on their very first Of course, it’s not at all clear whether these new Latino day in office: sweep for bugs. politicians are actually reflective of the city’s ever-expanding L A M AG . C O M 9 5

THE HOT LIST

Wild Fire Morels at Meteora PAGE 99

A CO N S TA N T LY U P DAT ED R O U N D U P O F L . A .’ S M OS T E S S EN T I A L E AT ER I E S

WEST ❂ Birdie G’s SANTA MONICA

THE BREAKDOWN » American $$

James Beard Award–nominated chef Jeremy Fox gets personal with a sunny spot named after his young daughter. The high-low menu is full of playful riffs on comfort food, from mixed summer cucumbers to a matzo ball soup with carrot miso to a next-level relish tray. Don’t miss the jiggly Rose Petal pie for dessert. 2421 Michigan Ave., 310-310-3616, or birdiegsla.com. Full bar.

❂ Broad Street Oyster Co. MALIBU » Seafood $$

If ever there was a car picnic scene, it’s at this open-air spot overlooking Malibu Lagoon State Beach. You can grab a great lobster roll (topped with uni or caviar if you’re feeling extra fancy), towers of raw seafood, great clam chowder, and a burger with Nueske’s bacon that shouldn’t be overlooked. 23359 Pacific Coast Hwy., 424-644-0131, or broadstreetoyster.com. Beer and wine.

❂ Cassia

» Southeast Asian $$$ Bryant Ng mines his Chinese Singaporean heritage, honors wife Kim’s Vietnamese background, and works in the wood-grilling technique he honed at Mozza at this grand Southeast Asian brasserie. Hunker down at a table on the patio—or treat yourself to some great takeout—to devour turmeric-marinated ocean trout or chickpea curry with scallion clay-oven bread. Wherever and however you enjoy Ng’s cooking, you won’t be disappointed. 1314 7th St., 310-393-6699, or cassiala.com. Full bar.

SANTA MONICA

✤❂ Cobi’s

» Southeast Asian $$$ Coming here is like visiting a perfectly artdirected beach house where everything—from the colors on the walls to the curries on the plate—just pops. Grab a date, grab your friends,

SANTA MONICA

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WEST

EAST

Includes Beverly Hills, Brentwood, Century City, Culver City, Malibu, Marina del Rey, Mar Vista, Palms, Santa Monica, Venice, West L.A., Westwood

Includes Atwater Village, Eagle Rock, East L.A., Echo Park, Glendale, Los Feliz, Pasadena, San Gabriel Valley, Silver Lake

DOWNTOWN Includes Arts District, Bunker Hill, Chinatown, Historic Core, Little Tokyo, South Park

T H E VA L L E Y Includes Agoura Hills, Burbank, Calabasas, Encino, North Hollywood, Sherman Oaks, Studio City, Toluca Lake, Van Nuys

CENTRAL

SOUTH

Includes Beverly Grove, East Hollywood, Fairfax District, Hancock Park, Hollywood, Koreatown, West Hollywood

Includes Bell, Compton, Gardena, Hermosa Beach, Long Beach, Manhattan Beach, Torrance, Watts

✤ 2022 Best New Restaurant Winner ❂ Has Outdoor Seating $ $$ $$$ $$$$

I N E X P E N S I V E (Meals under $10) M O D E R A T E (Mostly under $20) E X P E N S I V E (Mostly under $30) V E R Y E X P E N S I V E ($30 and above)

Price classifications are approximate and based on the cost of a typical main course that serves one.

For restaurants primarily offering multicourse family meals, the cost per person of such a meal is used.

Restaurant hours are changing frequently. Check websites or social media accounts for the most current information.

2022

and get to the party. Don’t miss the beautifully ferocious Devil Chicken curry, amped up by both fresh and dried bird’s eye chiles and accompanied by a saucer of habanero vinegar that magically cuts the heat and enhances it at the same time.

2104 Main St., 424-238-5195, cobis.la, or @cobis.la.

Beer and wine.

❂ Colapasta

» Italian $ It’s equally pleasant to grab and go or eat at this quiet, affordable spot that features fresh pastas topped with farmers’ market fare. The colorful, poppy-seed-sprinkled beet ravioli is delicate and delicious, while the gramigna with beef ragù is hearty and satisfying. 1241 5th St., 310-310-8336, or colapasta.com. Beer and wine.

SANTA MONICA

❂ Crudo e Nudo SANTA MONICA » Seafood $$

Brian Bornemann, the 31-year-old former executive chef at Michael’s Santa Monica, has gone his own way. He and his girlfriend, Leena Culhane, have launched a sustainable neighborhood joint that’s, by turns, a coffee shop, a seafood market, and a casual restaurant where you can nibble impeccably prepared crudo, tuna tartare toasts, and vegan Caesar salads on the patio while sipping a thoughtfully selected natural wine. Though the project began as a pandemic pop-up, it’s now an exciting brick-and-mortar spot from one of the city’s most promising young toques. 2724 Main St., 310-310-2120, crudoenudo.com, or @crudo_e_nudo.

Beer and wine.

❂ Dear John’s CULVER CITY » Steak House $$$

There are still good times and great food to be had at this former Sinatra hang stylishly revamped

by Josiah Citrin and Hans Röckenwagner. Steakhouse classics—crab Louie, oysters Rockefeller, thick prime steaks—pay homage to the lounge’s Rat Pack past and can be enjoyed on a sunny new patio or to go. 11208 Culver Blvd., 310-881-9288, or dearjohnsbar.com. Full bar.

I RI NA LO G R A

DEC

❂ Etta

CULVER CITY

» Italian $$$

With a sprawling patio, concise menu, and various party tricks (the restaurant calls them “moments”), Etta is primed for good times. You can go big and order a $120 short rib “picnic” with various accoutrements for the table or opt to have wine poured into your mouth from a large jug while a server snaps Polaroids. But you can also just pop in for a pizza or excellent pasta at the bar. For dessert, there are shots of tequila and coffee liquor topped with macaroon. 8801 Washington Blvd., 424-570-4444, ettarestaurant.com, or @ettarestaurant. Full bar.

❂ Felix VENICE » Italian $$$

At Evan Funke’s clubby, floral-patterned trattoria, the rigorous dedication to tradition makes for superb focaccia and pastas. The tonnarelli cacio e pepe—strands of pasta adorned only with pecorino Romano cheese and black pepper—nods to Roman shepherds who used the spice to keep warm, while the rigatoni all’Amatriciana with bacon, tomato, and pecorino Romano sings brilliantly alongside Italian country wines. 1023 Abbot Kinney Blvd., 424-387-8622, or felixla.com. Full bar.

✤ Matū

BEVERLY HILLS

» Steak $$$

Prolific restaurateur Jerry Greenberg (Sugarfish, Nozawa Bar, KazuNori, Uovo, HiHo Cheeseburger) and his partners are convinced that they serve the world’s best beef, prepared in the most optimal way.

After trying their five-course, $85 Wagyu dinner featuring sustainably raised, 100 percent grassfed beef from First Light Farms in New Zealand, you might see things their way. Magnificently marbled steaks are cooked to “warm red,” which is the color of rare and the temperature of medium rare. The result is meat that’s tender, luscious, and strikingly beefy. 239 S. Beverly Dr., 424-317-5031, or matusteak.com. Full Bar.

❂ Ospi VENICE » Italian $$$

Jackson Kalb’s sprawling new Italian joint brings bustle and outdoor tables to a corner on an otherwise quiet stretch. Pastas, including a spicy rigatoni alla vodka and raschiatelli with a pork rib ragù, are sublime, and most travel remarkably well if you’re looking to do takeout, which is the only option for lunch. Roman-style pizzas boast a uniquely crispy, cracker-thin crust; to get the full crunch, have a slice as you drive your takeout home. 2025 Pacific Ave., 424-443-5007, ospivenice.com, or @ospiveni. Full bar.

❂ Pasjoli

» French $$$$ Dave Beran’s à la carte spot bucks the trends and eschews bistro clichés in favor of old-fashioned thrills—an elaborate pressed duck prepared just as Escoffier would have and served with potatoes au gratin dauphinois—and modern French fare.

The showy duck must be reserved in advance as only a limited number of birds are available each night. But there are plenty of other exciting dishes on the menu, such as the chicken liver in brioche and pan-roasted sea bass with lobster velouté.

2732 Main St., 424-330-0020, or pasjoli.com. Full bar.

SANTA MONICA

DOWNTOWN ❂ Angry Egret Dinette CHINATOWN » Sandwiches $$

Wes Avila has left Guerrilla Tacos and is focusing on torta-esque sandwiches at this heartfelt new venture. Standouts include the Saguaro with tempura-fried squash blossoms, heirloom tomato, market greens, ricotta cheese, and salsa China. It’s hearty and decadent but also wonderfully nuanced.

There’s ample outdoor seating, but sandwiches with fried ingredients miraculously manage to remain crispy and travel well. 970 N. Broadway, Ste. 114, 213-278-0987, aedinette.com, or @angryegretdinette.

Badmaash

HISTORIC CORE » Indian $$ This Indian gastropub concept comes from the father-and-sons team of Pawan, Nakul, and Arjun Mahendro, who are all well versed in the culinary techniques of East and West. The menu features contemporary mash-ups, like a version of poutine smothered in chicken tikka, charred tandoori chicken, and braised lamb. If tradition’s your thing, you’ll be comforted by what they call Good Ol’ Saag Paneer. 108 W. 2nd St., 213-221-7466, or badmaashla.com. Beer and wine. Also at 418 N. Fairfax Ave., Fairfax District, 213-281-5185.

✤❂ Caboco

ARTS DISTRICT » Brazilian $$ Rodrigo Oliveira and fellow chef/partner Victor Vasconcellos are here to show Los Angeles that there’s a lot more to Brazilian food than churrascarias, so they’re serving habit-forming fried tapioca cubes and a vegan stew (moqueca de caju) headlined by cashew fruit that’s startlingly complex. Wash it all down with refreshing caipirinhas—the bar makes no less than five different kinds. 1850 Industrial St., 213-405-1434, cabocola.com, or @caboco.la. Full bar.

✤❂ Caldo Verde ARTS DISTRICT » Portuguese $$$

Suzanne Goin and Caroline Styne have opened a Portuguese cousin to their beloved Spanishinfused A.O.C. The restaurant loads up its namesake seafood stew with a generous amount of local rock crab, grilled linguica, mussels, kale, and potato. It’s a tremendous example of the rough-and-tumble food that Goin loves—dishes in which she deftly balances salt, fat, and bold flavors with California brightness. A starter of Ibérico ham, anchovies, and olives is called “small plate of salty favorites” because Goin understands that you visit restaurants to be jolted and enjoy food that’s a bit more intense than what you typically eat at home. 1100 S. Broadway, 213-806-1023, or properhotel.com/downtown-la. Full bar.

NATALEE THAI CUISINE www.nataleethai.com 10101 Venice Blvd., Culver City 998 S. Robertson Blvd., Beverly Hills

(310) 202-7003 (310) 855-9380

❂ Camphor

ARTS DISTRICT » French/Indian $$$$ “The main plan for this restaurant was to transport people,” says Max Boonthanakit of the new Arts District bistro he opened with Michelinstarred chef Lijo George. “Bistro” may be an understatement, given the restaurant’s stunning minimalist interior and exquisitely prepared dishes, but Camphor is, at its core, a French bistro where plump oysters are served in a bath of amaretto mignonette and the beef tartare comes with a side of tempura-fried herbs. Boonthanakit and George aim to bring something completely new to L.A.—that is, something distinctively not L.A. Camphor’s access to the spices from George’s southern Indian homeland makes it a standout.

923 E. 3rd St., Ste. 109, 213-626-8888, or camphor.la.

Full bar.

❂ Cha Cha Chá ARTS DISTRICT » Mexican $$

The huge, lively, plant-filled rooftop and some mezcal would be enough for a good night out at this Mexico City import, but chef Alejandro Guzmán, an alum of Le Comptoir, has packed his menu with quiet thrills. Carnitas get taken up a level by an orange reduction that comes at the end of the long cooking process. For dessert, the carrot flan is a small revelation, a surprising, exciting riff on carrot cake. The interior bar, La Barra, offers up unique mezcal cocktails.

812 E. 3rd St., 213-548-8487, or chachacha.la. Full bar.

❂ Girl & the Goat ARTS DISTRICT » Eclectic $$$

At long last, Top Chef winner Stephanie Izard has brought her hit Chicago restaurant to a light, airy space and pretty patio in downtown L.A. with seating for 200. The lengthy menu is full of international intrigue and the unexpected flavor combinations for which Izard is known. Roasted L A M AG.C OM 97

beets mingle with a yuzu-kosho vinaigrette. A salmon poke features chili crunch, avocado, and strawberry. Goat makes an appearance in both a liver mousse starter and a hearty curry main.

555-3 Mateo St., 213-799-4628, girlandthegoat.com, or @girlandthegoatla. Full bar.

❂ Kodō

DOWNTOWN » Japanese $$$ Everything about the look of this new izakaya-style restaurant in the Kensho Rykn hotel is serene. But don’t be fooled by the restaurant’s visual tranquility.

The energy of Kodō, which translates to “heartbeat,” is intentionally boisterous because the chef, Yoya Takahashi, wanted to stay true to what a Kyotostyle izakaya would be—a fun place with an upbeat vibe and traditional Japanese bar fare. So the food comes out fast and without pretense. A Caesar salad of Little Gem lettuce is blanketed with bonito flakes. The off-menu toro, served with a tangy cilantro sauce, minced tomato, and cucumber, has the kind of fatty, melt-in-your-mouth quality you can’t forget (and don’t want to). 710 S. Santa Fe Ave., 213-302-8010, or kodo.la. Full bar.

CENTRAL ❂ Alta Adams WEST ADAMS » California Soul Food $$

❂ A.O.C.

BEVERLY GROVE

Chi Spacca

» California $$$

Driven by culinary excellence, A.O.C. is anchored by a courtyard with soft sunlight and laurel trees. Caroline Styne’s wine list doesn’t shy away from the ecology of vineyards, while Suzanne Goin’s cooking has become indispensable. Carefully constructed salads showcase vegetables at their best, and the roasted chicken with panzanella is both an homage to San Francisco’s Zuni Café and a classic in and of itself. The bacon-topped sticky bun is legendary. 8700 W. 3rd St., 310-859-9859, or aocwinebar.com. Full bar. Also at 11648 San Vicente Blvd., 310-806-6464, Brentwood.

✤ Bicyclette

» French $$$ Walter and Margarita Manzke’s delightful, delicious follow-up to République brings a bit of Paris to Pico. The menu is stocked with exactingly executed bistro standards: onion soup with oozy cheese, hearty short-rib bourguignon, and a luxurious bouillabaisse. Margarita’s baguettes and beautiful desserts are as great as ever.

Resisting Bicyclette’s charms is futile. 9575 W. Pico Blvd., 424-500-9575, or bicyclettela.com. Full bar.

PICO-ROBERTSON

Brandoni Pepperoni FAIRFAX DISTRICT » Pizza $$

Riffing on his grandmother’s recipes, Watts native Keith Corbin loads up his gumbo with market veggies and enlivens his collard greens with a smoked oil. Hot sauce splashed onto skillet-fried chicken is pure pleasure, enhanced by a bourbon drink the bar tints with cacao-spiced bitters and Luxardo cherries. Finish the night by taking on a toasted angel food strawberry shortcake. 5359 W. Adams Blvd., 323-571-4999, or altaadams.com. Full bar.

Six nights a week, Brandon Gray turns out some of L.A.’s most exciting pizzas. Gray, a veteran of Navy kitchens and top local restaurants like Providence, brings boundless imagination to his pies. They’re topped with premium ingredients—Jidori chicken, Sungold tomatoes, smoked pork shoulder—in exciting combinations. A curry-Dijonnaise dressing renders a side salad surprisingly memorable. 7257 Beverly Blvd., 323-306-4968, or brandoni-pepperoni.com. Wine to go.

HANCOCK PARK » Italian $$$$ The best Northern Italian steak restaurant in the city, Chi Spacca serves a bistecca alla Fiorentina so tender that it would make a vegan blush. In this meat-eater’s paradise, the cuisine comes courtesy of 2014 James Beard Award-winning chef Nancy Silverton, owner of Osteria Mozza, Pizzeria Mozza, and Mozza2Go. And if red meat’s not your thing, try the chicken or octopus. But if it is, take some of the cured meats home—you’ll thank us. 6610 Melrose Ave., 323-297-1133, or chispacca.com. Full bar.

Fanny’s

» French $$$ Even with a glass wall opening onto exhibits, architect Renzo Piano succeeded in creating an eatery at the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures that feels quite cinematic. While by day, Fanny’s is a café that serves salads and sandwiches to museumgoers, by night, it’s a glam, modern vision of an old-school Hollywood hangout. Captains in suits push carts of gooey, French, washed-rind cow’s milk cheeses and carve thick, bloody slices of côte de boeuf tableside.

But there are also plenty of modern touches. Instead of a live band, Fanny’s has a different DJ spinning records every night. Chef Raphael Francois (Le Cirque, Tesse) sends out perfect twists on a Caesar salad and plays around with menu items like hamachi crudo on a bed of sweet pickled grapes and jicama with brown butter and cilantro. 6067 Wilshire Blvd., 323-930-3080, or fannysla.com. Full bar.

MID-WILSHIRE

❂ Gigi’s

HOLLYWOOD MEDIA DISTRICT » French $$$

With its sceney Sycamore Avenue location and gorgeous, illustration-lined interiors, Gigi’s could easily succeed with subpar fare. But chef Matt Bollinger’s bistro classics—like curry mussels, steak tartare, and roasted chicken—are done quite well, if priced

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rather high. The wine list from beverage director Kristin Olszewski, an Osteria Mozza alum, is surprisingly interesting, with various natural and biodynamic options on offer. 904 N. Sycamore Ave., 323-499-1138, gigis.la, or @gigis_la. Full bar.

Harold & Belle’s JEFFERSON PARK » Southern Creole $$

For Creole-style food—a mélange of French, African, and Native American flavors—Harold & Belle’s is as close to the Dirty Coast as you’ll come on the West Coast. The crawfish étouffée in spicy gravy will have you humming zydeco, while the bourbon bread pudding will leave you with a Sazerac-worthy buzz. 2920 W. Jefferson Blvd., 323-735-9023, or haroldandbelles.com. Full bar.

✤ Horses

HOLLYWOOD » Eclectic $$$ Versatile power-couple chefs Liz Johnson and Will Aghajanian have created a lively California bistro that feels both old school and of the moment. Located in the red-boothed space that was home to Ye Coach & Horses, the mostly European-inspired menu is rooted in both classic technique and free-spirited cooking. A sobrassada panino with white American cheese and a drizzle of honey is thin, crispy, sweet, savory, creamy, and spicy: an extremely pleasing little bite. Lumache pasta with vodka sauce gets an unexpected and delightful kick from ’nduja.

7617 W. Sunset Blvd. or horsesla.com. Full bar.

C H E F FAV O R I T E S

A N D Y B A R B AT O

THE BUTCHER’S DAUGHTER

Hotville Chicken

BALDWIN HILLS/CRENSHAW » Fried chicken $ With her hot chicken joint, Kim Prince is doing her family’s legacy justice—she’s the niece of André Prince Jeff ries, owner of Nashville legend Prince’s Hot Chicken Shack, where hot fried chicken is said to have originated. Prince adds spice at every step in the cooking process to produce a complex, layered flavor. Sides, like mac and cheese, are also winners. 4070 Marlton Ave., 323-792-4835, or hotvillechicken.com. No alcohol.

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H A L L O F FA M E 1 9 9 6 - 2 0 2 1

Luv2Eat Thai Bistro HOLLYWOOD » Thai $$

Vibrant flavors and spices abound at this stripmall favorite from two Phuket natives. The crab curry, with a whole crustacean swimming in a creamy pool of deliciousness, is not to be missed (it travels surprisingly well), but the expansive menu is full of winners, from the massaman curry to the Thai fried chicken with sticky rice and sweet pepper sauce. 6660 W. Sunset Blvd., 323-498-5835, luv2eatthai.com, or @luv2eat.thaibistro.

Meteora

HANCOCK PARK

» Eclectic $$$$

Chef Jordan Kahn, who received two Michelin stars for his tasting menu at Vespertine, sees Meteora as a restaurant about rediscovery.

“Utilizing primordial cooking methods, we seek to generate new flavors of past experience” is an excerpt from the menu. A vegetable option includes fire-cooked stone fruit served with crispy brassica leaves, grilled roses, quark, cured duck breast, and lettuce leaves for wrapping. There’s the most perfectly grilled sea bream wrapped in banana leaf. The staff, dressed in white or light earth tones, are clearly trained with precision in mind. 6703 Melrose Ave., 323-402-4311, or meteora.la.

Full bar.

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❂ Ronan

FAIRFAX DISTRICT » Cal-Italian $$ At Daniel and Caitlin Cutler’s chic pizzeria, the pies—especially the How ‘Nduja Want It? with spicy sausage, gorgonzola crema, green onion, and celery—are the clear stars, but it’s a big mistake not to explore the entire menu. It’s filled with delicious delights, from cacio e pepe risotto to a sea bass served with an ever-changing assortment of banchan. 7315 Melrose Ave., 323-917-5100, ronanla.com, or @ronan_la. Full bar.

❂ Son of a Gun BEVERLY GROVE » Seafood $$

BOTANICA

Everything chef Zarah Khan makes is magic. These carrots were served with chili oil, pepita green goddess, feta, and citrus almonds. $18, 1620 Silver Lake Blvd., Silver Lake, botanica restaurant.com.

Apple Wagashi A S H LE Y R AN DALL

CHIKARA MOCHI

Wagashi are bite-size Japanese sweets with an outer shell of mochi and sweet azuki-paste

filling. They look like jewels, and they’re delicious.

Literally my new obsession. $3, 16108 S. Western Ave., Gardena, 310-324-5256,

Hya Yakko TSUBAKI

Silken tofu, cucumber kimchi, tobanjan miso, and black sesame. One of the best vegan dishes I’ve had.

Refreshing, flavorful.

Simple but with a lot of depth. $10, 1356 Allison Ave., Echo Park, tsubakila.com.

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❂ Soulmate

» Mediterranean $$$ It’s lovely outside, and there’s a stunning new WeHo spot with a patio that can hold 75 attractive people, plus hours that go to midnight on Fridays and Saturdays. Starters include various jamones and spicy paella bites.

Further down the menu, there’s a lot of seafood options, from wood-fired octopus with charred romesco to salmon crudo. 631 N. Robertson Blvd., 310-734-7764, soulmateweho.com, or @soulmateweho. Full bar.

WEST HOLLYWOOD

EAST ✤❂ Agnes Restaurant & Cheesery PASADENA » Eclectic $$

This low-key charmer—the work of two alums of acclaimed San Francisco Italian joint

© PHILIP J. BRIGGS

Fermented Honey Roasted Carrots

Florida-raised chefs Jon Shook and Vinny Dotolo deliver a certain brand of sun-drenched seashore nostalgia. Dropping into the nautically themed dining room for chilled peel-and-eat shrimp and a hurricane feels as effortless as dipping your toes in the sand. There are buttery lobster rolls and fried-chicken sandwiches alongside artfully plated crudos. 8370 W. 3rd St., 323-782-9033, or sonofagunrestaurant.com. Full bar.

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Flour + Water—deftly mixes midwestern hospitality and European technique. The casual lunch is all about cheese and charcuterie boards and sandwiches. At dinner, excellent pastas, smartly prepared proteins, thoughtfully selected wines, and great cocktails join the party on the spacious patio. 40 W. Green St., 626-389-3839, agnesla.com, or @agnes_pasadena. Full bar.

PROMOTION

LIST Third Annual ‘Swing Fore Health’ Golf Tournament

❂ All Day Baby SILVER LAKE » Eclectic $$

Jonathan Whitener’s Here’s Looking At You is, sadly, closed, but his thrilling cooking continues on a bustling Eastside corner. Whether you opt for smoked spare ribs, a hoki fish sandwich, or a breakfast sandwich on pastry chef Thessa Diadem’s sublime biscuits, it’s all great. 3200 W. Sunset Blvd., 323-741-0082, alldaybabyla.com, or @alldaybabyla.

August 29 | Glendora Country Club ChapCare (Community Health Alliance of Pasadena) held its Third Annual ‘Swing Fore Health’ Golf Tournament on August 29 at the Glendora Country Club, hosting 108 golfers for an afternoon of fun and charity. The full day of activities included: golfing, a putting contest and long drive.

Participants also learned about ChapCare’s core mission of providing excellent, comprehensive, and innovative healthcare that is accessible to all the residents of the San Gabriel Valley.

Dunsmoor

GLASSELL PARK » Southern American $$ “We don’t use processed foods because we try to work within the limitations from before the Gilded Age.” This culinary ethos is the force behind Brian Dunsmoor’s new restaurant, where his devotion to “heritage cookery” is on full display and activity centers on a wood-fired hearth.

3501 Eagle Rock Blvd., Glassell Park, 323-686-6027, or dunsmoor.la. Beer and wine.

As a network of primary health centers in the San Gabriel Valley, serving low-income patients and those without insurance, ChapCare’s work depends on federal funding and private contributions from caring donors to be able to serve the community—and change lives. ~ “ChapCare saved my life caring for me and my baby during my pregnancy!”

❂ Eszett

SILVER LAKE » Eclectic $$ This stylish, cozy wine bar brings warm hospitality to the strip-mall space formerly occupied

by Trois Familia. Chef Spencer Bezaire’s menu deftly brings in flavors from around the globe without feeling overly contrived. Chicken wings are accompanied by salsa macha. Don’t miss the big fries. 3510 W. Sunset Blvd., 323-522-6323, or eszettla.com. Beer and wine.

Support the care for those who can’t afford it by contributing to ChapCare at: chapcare.org

Locally Grown: A Garden Party Benefiting LA’s BEST October 13, 6 p.m. to 9 p.m.

Redbird, DTLA

❂ Found Oyster EAST HOLLYWOOD » Seafood $$$

On October 13, the LA’s BEST community gathered for the annual event Locally Grown where guests enjoyed garden-infused cocktails and hors d’oeuvres personally created and served by local noteworthy chefs. Many thanks to hosts Chef Neal Fraser and Amy Knoll Fraser for welcoming us into their private, beautiful garden at Redbird.

This tiny oyster bar was a pre-pandemic favorite, and chef Ari Kolender’s seafood dishes still thrill when taken to go or enjoyed on the restaurant’s “boat deck.” The scallop tostada with yuzu kosho and basil is a must-order, and a bisque sauce takes the basic lobster roll to new heights. Interesting, affordable wines add to the fun. 4880 Fountain Ave., 323-486-7920, foundoyster.com, or @foundoyster. Beer and wine.

To learn more about the event and LA’s BEST visit lasbest.org/locallygrown2022

❂ Hippo

HIGHLAND PARK » Cal-Italian $$ Hidden in a wood-trussed dining room behind Triple Beam Pizza, this Cal-Ital restaurant from Mozza vet Matt Molina balances casual and refined. Snappy wax beans are sluiced with vinaigrette for a picnic-worthy salad. Great pastas and juicy grilled chicken thighs deliver the unfussy pleasure found at the best neighborhood spots. Eclectic regular specials like haute corn dogs add to the fun. 5916 ½ N. Figueroa St., 323-545-3536, or hipporestaurant.com. Full bar.

Nordstrom Kicks Off 12th Annual Giving Campaign to Shoes That Fit with $1 Million Goal Shoes That Fit September 21 California nonprofit Shoes That Fit, Nordstrom and Nike kicked off the season of giving by providing brand new athletic shoes to the students at John Mack Elementary School in Los Angeles on Wednesday, September 21st. They hosted the event in the auditorium which was filled with Nikes and gift bags for the kids, a DJ and a special appearance from WNBA star Jordin Canada of the LA Sparks.

Make a donation this holiday season by visiting shoesthatfit.org

10 0 L A M A G . C O M

Photography by David Alvarado

Shoes That Fit is a nonprofit organization that helps children across the country by giving them access to new shoes and other life-changing, essential items.

Nordstrom has supported Shoes That Fit since 2010 and this year reached an exciting milestone – giving over 300,000 pairs of shoes to children around the country.

❂ Jin Cook GLENDALE » Korean $

K-Town has the highest concentration of Korean food in the U.S., but it doesn’t get all the hits. Jin Cook works wonders with “authentic Korean soul food” in Glendale. This homey restaurant brings sparkle to dishes like spicy pork. Thinly sliced meat arrives sizzling in a stone bowl and then gets crusty and caramelized and reaches hyperdrive when showered with shredded mozzarella, which magically melds with the spicy meat and enables cheese pulls galore. 310 N. Brand Blvd., 818-637-7822, or jincooks.com. Beer.

✤ KinKan

VIRGIL VILLAGE » Japanese-Thai $$$$ Nan Yimcharoen became an underground sensation during the pandemic, selling jewel

box–like chirashi sushi over Instagram. Now she’s got a brick-and-mortar spot serving a Japanese-Thai tasting menu with exquisite courses like slices of bluefin tuna larb gorgeously assembled in the shape of a rose, and a resplendent crab curry with blue butterfly-pea-flower noodles and a sauce powered by innards and roe.

771 N. Virgil Ave. 949-793-0194, or @kinkan_la. Sake.

✤❂ Moo’s Craft Barbecue LINCOLN HEIGHTS » Barbecue $

Some of the best Texas barbecue is actually in L.A. Andrew and Michelle Muñoz’s brisket and beef ribs are meaty bliss that would be taken seriously in Austin. But Moo’s is very much a vital L.A. spot; the Muñozes weave in their Mexican-Angeleno roots with dishes like a cheese-and-poblano-filled beef and pork verde sausage. 2118 N. Broadway, 323-686-4133, mooscraftbarbecue.com, or @mooscraftbarbecue. Beer and wine.

Playita has a fresh, beachy blue-and-white aesthetic and a tight menu of well-done ceviches, seafood cocktails, and fish tacos. 3143 W. Sunset Blvd., 323-928-2028, playitamariscos.com, or @playitamariscos.

✤❂ Saso

PASADENA » Spanish $$$ The arrival of this splashy new spot suggests that the good times might soon be here again. It shares a charming, sprawling courtyard with the Pasadena Playhouse, and the seafood-heavy menu from chef Dominique Crisp, who previously worked at L&E Oyster Bar, begs for reuniting with friends on nice summer nights. Orange zest enlivens jamón ibérico crudités, while miso butter takes grilled oysters to new heights. 37 S. El Molino Ave., 626-808-4976, sasobistro.com, or @sasobistro. Full bar.

❂ Sōgo Roll Bar LOS FELIZ » Sushi $$

Northern Thai Food Club EAST HOLLYWOOD » Thai $

Sōgo is hardly the only concept in town devoted to rolls, but it has mastered the form. Rice is cooked with the same careful consideration and seasoning that sushi master Kiminobu Saito uses at the high-end Sushi Note, and it manages to maintain a great temperature and texture, even when being delivered. Fish is not just fresh but also flavorful, each type thoughtfully paired with ideal accompaniments, from a tangy yuzu-pepper sauce that makes salmon sing to brandy-soaked albacore with garlic-ginger ponzu and crispy onions. 4634 Hollywood Blvd., 323-741-0088, sogorollbar.com, or @sogorollbar. Beer and sake.

❂ Playita

❂ Spoon & Pork SILVER LAKE » Filipino $$

Offering specialty dishes unique to northern Thailand, this family-run favorite doesn’t skimp on flavor, spice, or authenticity. Tasty takeout meals include the khao soi gai (curry egg noodle with chicken), laab moo kua (minced pork), tam kha noon (jackfruit salad), and pla salid tod (fried gourami fish). For those unfamiliar with the region’s distinct cuisine, the illustrious sticky rice is still a reliable bet. Need incentive? Everything on the menu is less than $10. 5301 W. Sunset Blvd., 323-474-7212, or amphainorthernthaifood.com.

SILVER LAKE

» Mexican $

The team behind the beloved local chainlet Guisados has taken over an old seafood taco stand on a busy Eastside stretch. The results, as you might expect, are delicious and delightful.

The go-to for Filipino comfort food offers a variety of dishes, all featuring one shared ingredient: deliciousness. Spoon & Pork puts an innovative spin on some Filipino favorites—just try its adobo

pork belly, pork belly banh mi, or lechon kawali.

The dishes, which can be ordered at the counter to enjoy on the patio or for takeout and delivery, mix decadence with some authentic soul. 3131 W. Sunset Blvd., 323-922-6061, spoonandpork.com, or @spoonandporkla. Beer and wine.

❂ Sunset Sushi SILVER LAKE » Japanese $$$

With omakase boxes priced from $30 to $85, this new sushi place in the old Ma’am Sir space strikes the sweet spot between affordable and indulgent and is another exciting addition to the Eastside’s growing number of quality sushi options. It’s a sister spot to Highland Park’s Ichijiku but with a more luxe vibe and a larger menu, tailor-made for takeout. 4330 W. Sunset Blvd., 323-741-8371, sunsetsushila.com, or @sunsetsushi. Beer and sake to go.

❂ U Street Pizza PASADENA » Pizza $$

There was a moment when U Street’s vodka pepperoni pie was a shining star of Instagram, and rightfully so. The why-haven’t-I-had-this-before combination of pepperoni and creamy vodka sauce is an easy win. Vegetable dishes, notably a Japanese eggplant with Calabrian chili agrodolce, are more than afterthoughts. Note that while the vodka pepperoni pie travels well, the clam pie is best enjoyed in-house. 33 E. Union St., 626-605-0430, ustreetpizza.com, or @ustreetpizza.

THE VALLEY ❂ Black Market Liquor Bar STUDIO CITY » New American $$

Some nights it seems as if half the Valley is here, enjoying the colorful patio. Top Chef graduate

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L A M A G . C O M 101

The most dangerous animals in the forest don’t live there.

Antonia Lofaso’s Italian chops are visible in the buxom ricotta gnudi with brown butter and pistachios. The deep-fried fluffernutter sandwich is a reminder that food, like life, should not be taken too seriously. 11915 Ventura Blvd., 818-446-2533, or blackmarketliquorbar.com.

Full bar.

❂ The Brothers Sushi WOODLAND HILLS » Sushi $$$

This hidden gem, reinvigorated when chef Mark Okuda took the helm in 2018, is worth traveling for. The excellent omakase is available in the restaurant on the patio or to go. You can also order à la carte or get non-sushi items like soy-glazed grilled chicken. 21418 Ventura Blvd., 818-456-4509, thebrotherssushi.com, or @thebrotherssushila. Beer, sake, and wine.

Hank’s

» Bagels $ The L.A. bagel revolution continues at this stylish spot in the Valley that serves up carefully constructed sandwiches. Tomato, aioli, and maple-glazed bacon elevate a simple bacon, egg, and cheese, while a classic salmon-and-lox construction has thoughtful touches like salted cucumbers and pickled onions. Grab a tub of Hank’s “angry” spread—a spicy, slightly sweet concoction—to have in your fridge. 4315 W. Riverside Dr., 818-588-3693, hanksbagels.com, or @hanksbagels. Also at 13545 Ventura Blvd., Sherman Oaks, 818-588-3693.

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Tel Aviv Authentic Kitchen ENCINO » Middle Eastern $

Deeply comforting Israeli skewers, kabobs, and merguez come with a colorful and tasty array of salads showcasing produce like red cabbage, cucumbers, tomatoes, eggplant, and pumpkin.

The spicy sauces on the side work well with anyand everything. 17630 Ventura Blvd., 818-774-9400, or telavivkoshergrill.com.

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❂ Ali’i Fish Company EL SEGUNDO » Seafood $$

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❂ Fishing With Dynamite MANHATTAN BEACH » Seafood $$$

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A premium raw bar near the beach shouldn’t be unusual, but it is. The same goes for velvety clam chowder. Here, it achieves smoky richness—you can thank the Nueske’s bacon for that—without any of the floury glop. 1148 Manhattan Ave., 310-893-6299, or eatfwd.com. Full bar.

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❂ Little Coyote LONG BEACH » Pizza $

That most amazing slice of pizza you had that one very drunken, late night in your early twenties in New York lives on . . . in Long Beach.

The crust, made with dough cold-fermented for 48 to 72 hours, is carby perfection: tangy, crispy, thin but with a healthy puff. The concise menu doesn’t offer any revelations about what should be atop pizza but, instead, perfects the usual suspects. 2118 E. 4th St., 562-434-2009, littlecoyotelbc.com, or @littlecoyotelbc. Also at 3500 Los Coyotes Diagonal, 562-352-1555.

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John Mark Lucas johnmarklucas.com

WE WELCOME YOUR COMMENTS AND SUGGESTIONS. PLEASE EMAIL US AT LETTERS@LAMAG.COM

you’re wearing is not a bra.

Mae: (confused) This bra I’m

wearing? This bra is a bra.

Me: (overusing air quotes) That

Lauren Graham

“bra” you’re “wearing” is not a “bra.” It’s like two triangles of “tissue paper” held up by a piece of “ribbon.” You need, like, “padding” in there if you want a bra for “work.”

One fun thing about having Mae as a friend is that we’re so close that, at times, I forget we aren’t the same age.

But then, I’ll use too many air quotes and the number one thing on my mind or say Phoebe Bridgers when I really was keeping that job. I had padded mean to say Phoebe Waller-Bridge, my bra like I’d padded my résumé. It and she’ll get a particular look of pity was just another piece of the costume on her face, and it hits me that—oh, I was wearing in pursuit of the role of yeah—I’m 20 years older than she is, Aspiring Actress, no worse a lie than and possibly out of touch with The listing the nonexistent Taos Outdoor Kids Today. That day on her patio, Mae Theater on my résumé, where I had explained to me that most women she supposedly played Rosalind in As You knew had stopped using as much boob Like It, another credit I had come to fakery in the aughts, and it struck me realize was also not going to help me that extremely short skirts and lowget on 90210. Actors are pretenders, rise jeans were also a thing of the past, and I’m not sure I saw these fabricaand that once again my boobs had tions as something that took away quite possibly expired. It occurred to from the Real Me. The voices quesme that I hardly ever hear of anyone tioning the bigger picture I was being who wasn’t a Real Housewife getting sold were in there, brewing, and they’d their breasts surgically augmented gather strength over the years, but my anymore, and that almost none of the first reaction to the director in that other 30-year-old actresses I know moment was a thought resembling, I ever mention the Wonderbra even as can’t take my bra off because then he’ll a joke, and maybe don’t even know of know how much fakery is in here, and its existence. Certainly, none of them I’ll be exposed (literally) for how big refer to their breasts as “the girls,” as (small) my boobs actually are. if they had two hard-partying sorority I somehow kept my bra on that day. sisters living inside their shirt. I realI didn’t so much stand up for myself as ized my ’90s boobs belonged back in I jokingly referenced the nudity clause time with my daily devotion to the Iced and said a too-nice, fun-girl-not-wantBlendeds from the Coffee Bean & Tea ing-to-make-waves version of “that Leaf, driving with the top down, and makes me uncomfortable” and since the occasional American Spirit Ultra then have spent most of my career playLight—other things I’d grown out of or ing affable best friends and talkative left behind long ago. I made coffee at single moms whose boobs were not home now, never left the house with an often called on to perform solo whilst SPF under 45, and hadn’t had a single uncovered. But I kept my Wonderbras drag of anything in 20 years. in rotation on all my auditions, and my I went home that day, cleared the cutlets were always on standby. bulkier bras out of their drawers, and Not long ago, I was sitting under when I found some wella n u m b r e l l a o n Ma e worn cutlets in the very Whitman’s patio, and she FROM THE BOOK back, rather than thinking mentioned wanting a new HAVE I TOLD YOU of replacing them, I threw bra for work.

THIS ALREADY?

BY LAUREN GRAHAM. the pair away.

COPYRIGHT ©2022 It a lso occur red to Mae: I like the one I’m

BY LAUREN GRAHAM. PUBLISHED BY BALLANTINE me that no one got their wearing, but the lace BOOKS, AN IMPRINT OF RANDOM HOUSE, A meals delivered in plastic is itchy.

DIVISION OF PENGUIN RANDOM HOUSE LLC. ALL containers promising effiMe: Well, you should RIGHTS RESERVED ciency anymore because get a bra. That thing CO N T I N U E D F R O M PAG E 6 5

we’d finally learned what our bodies really needed: GREEN JUICES. Here in the 2000s, we have learned the secret: we must constantly be cleansing our systems to rid ourselves of the hideous toxins we’ve somehow accumulated. The cooler bags with plastic containers of the ’90s have now been replaced by cooler bags with recyclable mason jars of green juice and bland green salads with bland raw dressings or the delicious alternative cooler bags of bland green soups with no dairy, no sugar, no meat, no salt, no oil. We’ve finally got this health thing figured out! I don’t know how we made it through the ’90s with all those toxins swimming around. I guess it was only due to our attention to bodily efficiency. I’m old enough now to identify these trends partially as a result of science and research, partially as one fad simply replacing another. Yet I don’t seem to have learned those lessons well enough to be able to resist whatever the newest one is that comes my way. So if you see me out some day wearing a torpedo-shaped bra and downing green powder out of a packet, don’t be surprised.

I feel that, in asking these tough questions, I may have taken some of the fun out of boobs and left us all a bit deflated. I don’t want the mood to sag here. Let me see if I can perk things up. I’m pretty sure I’ve learned my lesson now, and I must tell you, that really takes a weight off my chest.

Nevertheless, I pledge to continue to do my breast to keep up with the times. Before I go, I just want to give a shout-out to all my friends in Silicon Valley. (I know the difference between Silicon and silicone—it’s just comedy, people.) It’s true, I don’t yet know what shape the boobs of the future will take, but with the help of my fond mammaries of the ’90s, I don’t think I’ll ever again allow them to fall flat. I believe that, thanks to the support of people like Mae in my life, I will stay uplifted, and in the future shall avoid falling into any more booby traps. In conclusion, while I’m not sure what the boobs of the ’20s will turn out to be, I am pretty sure that, whether I’m driving, or bra shopping, or acting, I’ll never again be caught with my top down. By the way, I never did get a part on 90210, but I guess that’s just tough titties.* *The above paragraph brought to you in partnership with Mae Pity Face™.

L A M AG . C O M 1 0 3

Q

EMAIL YOUR BURNING QUESTIONS ABOUT L.A. TO ASKCHRIS@LAMAG.COM

Why did they tear down the original Hot Dog on a Stick in Santa Monica?

CHRIS’S PICK

Vampira Rising

OCEAN VIEWS

The original Muscle Beach location opened in 1946.

CENTENNIAL OF THE 1950S TV ICON

A:

The beloved but bedraggled 76-year-old stand was demolished and will be replaced by a similar-looking, but 30 percent larger, restaurant still filled with “hotdoggers” frying up corn dogs and churning out lemonade. “We tried to save as many original items as possible,” said Jenn Johnston, president of FAT Brands, which also owns Fatburger and Johnny Rockets. “But a lot of the items had significant wear and tear, which is what ultimately led to the remodel.” The city landmarks commission reviewed demolition plans and came to the conclusion that the business was more significant than the building. Auf wienersehen.

Q: What happened to the cool Plaza of Mesoamerican Heritage sculpture garden at Forest Lawn Hollywood Hills? It’s like a lost Disney ride.

A: Like everything at Forest Lawn, unto dust shalt thou 1 0 4 L A M AG . C O M

return. Well, at least that pertains to the giant plaster replica of the Aztec sun stone, which succumbed to the elements after three decades outdoors.

James Llewellyn, nephew of Forest Lawn’s theatrical

founder, Hubert Eaton, created the park in 1987, recalling his vacations south of the border.

Management hoped to attract Latino visitors and future customers with copies of 17 monumental relics set in a

Q: What are those three buildings with domes at National and Barrington boulevards?

A: Starting in 1940, Paul J. Howard ran a sprawling plant nursery and extravagant gift shop called California Flowerland on that corner. In his twilight years, the super patriot added shops and restaurants built in Early American style along his property.

“Colonial Corners” had giant flagpoles, monuments to the presidents, and an old-fashioned ice cream parlor with 66 flavors. Howard railed against taxes and talked of preserving Americana, but weeks after his death in 1966, his heirs sold it all to real estate developers. If you squint hard enough at the roaring hearth inside the Starbucks, you can imagine you’re in Colonial Williamsburg.

H D O S : CO U R T E SY H OT D O G O N A ST I C K ; VA M P I R A : H U LTO N A R C H I V E /G E T T Y I M AG E S ; P O ST E R : G E T T Y I M AG E S

cactus garden. The surviving statues are in storage, and the ground below is being prepared for new residents.

● Before sexy vampires were a thing, Vampira was rocking her glamour-ghoul image in movies and TV. The actress—née Maila Nurmi—was born 100 years ago this month, and fans will gather on December 11 to remember her with a screening and a visit to her tomb at Hollywood Forever cemetery.

“We’ve got Oscar winners and rock stars,” says cemetery tour guide Karie Bible, “but more people come to see the horror hostess.” That evening, the American Cinematheque is presenting footage of the starlet, along with a double feature of Ed Wood (in which Lisa Marie plays Vampira) and Wood’s 1959 epic Plan 9 From Outer Space (starring Vampira, of course). “She’s a feminist, a goth icon, a beatnik,” Bible says.

—CHRIS NICHOLS

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