(MUCH MORE THAN YOU THINK)
PLUS: L.A.’s best-selling rides; censored vanity plates; new, Tesla-killing electrics; the scourge of street racing; and a truckload of other auto erotica
Groundbreaking dual chronograph
Unprecedented range of timing modes Patented Twinverter binary switch and internally-jewelled clutch shafts Zirconium case, FlexRing damping system 80m water resistance, 585 components
A celebrated comedic actress gets something o her chest that’s been sagging her spirits for years—L.A.’s overinflated obsession with mammaries
BY LAUREN GRAHAM
The secretly recorded tapes that blew up the L.A. City Council are filled with hateful smears and racial resentments. Why are old-guard Latino politicians so angry at their African American neighbors? It goes back 40 years
BY SAM QUINONES AND PETER KIEFER
» In L.A., you are what you drive. Or are you? In this car-crazy town, your ride can be a rolling status proxy or a shrewd masquerade for faking it till you make it. It all depends on which lane you choose
BY TARA WEINGARTEN
PAGE 73
» Facing a 2035 deadline for zero-emission vehicles, automakers are charging up their EV game with electrifying options
BY MICHAEL WALKERPAGE 84
» A new bill signed into law by Governor Newsom may finally silence those excruciatingly noisy sports cars and motorcycles
BY JORDAN MULA
PAGE 80
» The DMV actually screens every personalized plate application for surreptitious naughtiness. We reveal the tags that got the hook
BY SAM BRASLOWPAGE 86
› A Hidden Hills socialite goes on trial for murder after a high-speed chase leads to the death of two small children
BY JASON MCGAHAN
PAGE 17
Brief
› How Kanye West’s deal with Dov Charney came undone; is Bill Murray a comedy legend or a leg endary dick?
PAGE 20
› How a millennial marketer repackaged humble bot tled water into the most profitable drink in L.A.
BY JOSEPHINE TASSONI
PAGE 24
» From handmade chocolate paired with wine and a skateboard shaped like Cali to a cool joint holder and a trove of tinned fish, we scoured the city to find the perfect present for everyone on your list.
PAGE 46
› Why was the original Hot Dog on a Stick torn down? What happened to the sculpture garden at Forest Lawn? Our resident historian answers all your burning questions.
BY CHRIS NICHOLSPAGE 104
Alexandria Abramian, Steve Appleford, Hillel Aron, Christopher Beam, Alex Bhattacharji, Alex Ben Block, Steven Blum, Samuel Braslow, Susan Campos, Rene Chun, Heidi Siegmund Cuda, Trish Deitch, Matt Dickinson, Kevin Andrew Dolak, Ben Ehrenreich, Steve Erickson, Andrew Goldman, Sarah Horne Grose, Annabelle Gurwitch, Maureen Harrington, Kennedy Hill, Robert Ito, Eliyahu Kamisher, Heather Platt, Jon Regardie, Jordan Riefe, Allen Salkin, Paul Schrodt, Alex Scordelis, Michael Slenske, Bryan Smith, Joel Stein, Jean Trinh, Andy Wang, Sam Wasson, George Wayne, Rex Weiner, Je Weiss, Laurie Winer, Emily Young
CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS
Shayan Asgharnia, Elisabeth Caren, Robert Carter, Andrea D ’Agosto, Dominic Bugatto, Ben Duggan, Christina Gandolfo, Jill Greenberg, Christopher Hughes, Neil Jamieson, Corina Marie, Justin Metz, Max-o-matic, Slava Mogutin, Kyle David Moreno, Elliott Morgan, Chris Morris, Catherine Opie, Jason Raish, Risko, Irvin Rivera, Edel Rodriguez, Matt Sayles, Ryan Schude, Ian Spanier, Brian Taylor, Isak Tiner, John Tsiavis, Christian Witkin
EDITORIAL INTERNS
Lauren Abunassar, Nora Farahdel, Jordan Mula, Mary Ellen Ritter, Abigail Siatkowski, Josephine Tassoni
HAWAII Justin Nakaahiki justinnakaahiki@dmhawaii.com MIDWEST Cheryl Schuldt, CS Media cschuldt@csmediainc.com NORTHEAST Cynthia Donaher cynthia@donahermedia.com PACIFIC NORTHWEST Shana Wong shanawong@me.com SOUTHEAST Whitney Dick wdick@texasmonthly.com
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LIKE MOST people, I got my driver’s license in high school. But unlike most people, I didn’t drive again for the next 30 years.
I spent most of my adult life in New York City, where the only cars I rolled around in were bright yellow and had a ticking meter next to the driver. Occasionally, when I got lucky, I might get a ride in the back seat of a company town car or, even more occasionally and even more luckily, on the back of a Harley. But for the most part, like most New Yorkers, I got around by subway.
Then, a decade ago, I moved to L.A. and suddenly found myself sitting behind a steering wheel. At first, it was a little nerve-racking. To be honest, I was never a particularly good driver, even as a teenager—it was actually a small miracle that I passed my road test. My first car was an ancient, tanker-size Chevy gifted to me by my grandma. A year later, after driving it into the front window of a (closed) kosher deli, I decided I was done with cars. But, it turned out, they weren’t done with me.
Needless to say, my first excursions on the 405 were terrifying. But the more I motored around Los Angeles, the more I felt like a high-school kid again, rediscovering the giddy exhilaration of acceleration, the crazy liberation of being able to go wherever I wanted to go whenever I wanted to go there.
Of course, mostly where I went was from my home to the o ce, with periodic stops at Whole Foods. But never mind. These days, the time I spend in my Mini is often the most fulfilling and productive of my day, even when I’m stuck in tra c. It’s where I do my best thinking, where I can get away from it all (meaning, you know, other people). It’s where I blast hip-hop and Howard Stern, Nirvana and NPR. Most important, it’s where I learned all about L.A., a sprawling, magical cityscape literally built for drivers.
This month, we’re publishing our first-ever car issue. Given how obsessive Angelenos are about their automobiles, I was surprised to learn that we hadn’t done one before. Inside these pages, you can learn all about the hottest new electric vehicles, how vanity license plates get censored, and which cars and colors are the most (and least) popular among auto buyers, plus—in Tara Weingarten’s cover story—marketing experts and auto aficionados reveal what the car you’re currently tooling around in is telling the world about you. (Believe me, it’s more than you think.)
Once you zip through all that, there are lots of other interesting stops inside our December issue. As L.A.’s bombshell city council scandal continues to make national news, Sam Quinones and Peter Kiefer take a deep dive into the long-festering racial resentments that were exposed on those shocking audiotapes. And on the eve of Rebecca Grossman’s upcoming trial, Jason McGahan speaks to the Hidden Hills socialite who faces life in prison after an alleged drag-racing incident that resulted in the tragic deaths of two young boys.
Elsewhere, you’ll find an essay by Gilmore Girls actress turned author Lauren Graham about L.A.’s other great obsession—boobs; our carefully curated, nine-page holiday gift guide; and a Q&A with the 20-yearold actor who stars as a teenage Steven Spielberg in The Fabelmans, the director’s autobiographical new drama.
So, without further ado, start your engines, take your foot o the break, and go.
Maer Roshan, Editor-in-Chief
“My first car was a tankersize Chevy from my grandma. A year later, I drove it into the front window of a (closed) kosher deli.”
BY JASON MCGAHAN
THIS IS NOT the sort of life Rebecca Grossman was supposed to be living.
The 58-year-old former flight attendant turned socialite was meant to be spend ing her middle years enjoying the bounties of upper-class privilege. Married to one of L.A.’s most successful plastic surgeons—Dr. Peter H. Grossman, founder of the famous Grossman Burn Center, where actress Anne Heche was taken after a high-speed crash in Mar Vista in August—she had everything a real house wife of Hidden Hills could possibly want: a $7.6 million nine-bedroom ranch house in a gated community right next door to a movie star (well, Lori Loughlin), a thriv ing family (two teenage kids and an adopted daughter—a young burn victim Grossman and her husband adopted from Afghanistan in 2002 so that she could be treated at Peter’s hospital—two horses, five dogs, and a 100-pound turtle), a wardrobe that would have Lisa Vanderpump bit ing her knuckles with envy, and an expensive—and, as it would turn out, fatefully fast—Mercedes coupe.
But then, Rebecca Grossman’s perfect life became a perfect nightmare. “Everything changed in a split sec ond—overnight,” she tells Los Angeles during a half-hour Zoom call from her lawyer’s o ce in October.
Exactly what transpired will soon be litigated in court—Grossman is expected to go on trial for two counts of murder, among other charges, in March—but here are the basics as we know them. On the evening of September 29, 2020, witnesses saw Grossman zigzagging at 80 miles an hour in her GLE43 along Saddle Mountain Drive and Triunfo Canyon Road in Westlake Village, a few minutes from her home. Another car, a black SUV, was also spotted, allegedly racing with Grossman in what some are describing as a frisky game of cat and mouse. At exactly 7:10 p.m., six minutes after dusk, Grossman’s car struck and killed two children—Mark Iskander, 11, and Jacob Iskander, 8—who’d been skateboarding and roll erblading on the street as the rest of their family walked nearby, coming from a trip to a nearby lake.
Beyond those cold, hard, tragic facts, the rest of the story is, not surprisingly, hotly contested. Did Grossman, as prosecutors are charging, try to restart her stalled Mercedes in an attempt to flee the scene of the accident? Or was it, as Grossman contends, the towing company that later restarted her car? And what was Grossman’s relationship to the driver of the black SUV, retired Dodgers pitcher Scott Erickson, who’s been charged with a reckless-driving misdemeanor for his part in the incident? Were they longtime friends, as Grossman insists? Or was she having an extramarital a air with Erickson, as the Iskanders have asserted in a separate multimillion-dollar civil suit. “People have tried to make it something it wasn’t,” Grossman says, denying any romantic involvement.
All we know for sure is that before the accident, Grossman and Erickson had been seen drinking mar garitas together at a Mexican restaurant in Westlake
1
Village, along with another retired baseball player, Royce Clayton, who turns out to be head coach at the Oaks Christian School where Mark Iskander was in fifth grade and Grossman’s own son attends high school. (Grossman’s blood-alcohol levels, according to a test administered after the accident, were not above California’s limit for driving.)
“There is a lot of hate and anger out there,” Grossman says, speaking softly and carefully, a slight Texas twang in her voice. (She grew up in Odessa, Texas, and attended Texas Tech University before moving to L.A. and earning a broadcast journalism certificate from UCLA.) Although no stranger to media attention, this is Grossman’s first major interview since the incident—or at least the first since a story about her in a Westlake magazine, Southern California Life, got pulled six days after publication amid online backlash. “And that hate stems from believing every thing that’s been put out there about who I am: that I have no remorse, that I’m this monster, that this hasn’t a ected my life, that I just go about my every day as if this never happened.” She adds, “That’s just not true.”
Grossman’s life has clearly been upended by what hap pened on Saddle Mountain Drive. For one thing, she’s become something of a pariah in her own neighorhood. Friends from the charity galas that Grossman used to regularly throw for her husband’s burn center suddenly stopped calling. Volunteers from the Hidden Hills home owners’ association have reportedly been warning residents of the area—like Kylie Jenner—to “exercise caution” around Grossman.
Grossman has found herself so isolated that the only
solace she can find is from strangers like the Uber driver who pulled over to the side of the road and prayed with her on that tragic evening.
And then there is the crushing guilt; she says her part in the accidental death of two children—and she does insist it was accidental—has weighed so heavily on her that she “couldn’t function in any way.” A year after the crash, Grossman’s mother died from complications linked to Alzheimer’s and that triggered Grossman’s fears that the trauma of the accident had caused her own dementia.
“The thought of taking the easy way out crossed my mind,” she admits, breaking down in tears as she confesses to having suicidal thoughts. “It still does from time to time.”
“She cries every day,” her husband says. “She is in an emotional prison that she may never be able to get out of.”
Of course, the Iskanders have endured much worse over the last two years. Nancy and Karim Iskander not only lost two of their four children, but they’ve also had to endure an excruciatingly slow legal process in their quest for what they see as justice. They believe Grossman’s high-priced defense team—at one point headed by top L.A. DUI attorney Richard Hutton—have been slowwalking the proceedings, and there are many who agree. Some 54,000 people have signed a Change.org petition launched by women from Westlake Village demanding, among other things, that Grossman’s mug shot be released to the public, that her $2 million bail be revoked,
and that she be put behind bars while waiting for trial. Even some of the judges involved in the case have expressed frustration with its slow pace; at a September 2021 hearing, Judge Shellie Samuels admonished Grossman for failing to show up for five scheduled court appointments. “I have never seen Ms. Grossman,” she fumed. “She has not been to court once.”
A few months later, Grossman’s case was delayed again, after Hutton became ill and passed away, forcing Grossman to hire a new lawyer, Tony Buzbee, the attorney who represented two dozen women accusing former Houston Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson of sexual misconduct.
But the wait for a trial may soon be coming to an end. This past September, a Superior Court judge rejected the Grossman defense team’s motion to have the murder charges against her reduced to vehicular manslaughter. Judge Joseph Brandolino found that there was probable cause to determine that Grossman acted with implied malice rather than merely gross negligence. If convicted as charged, Grossman could face as many as 34 years in prison.
As far as Nancy Iskander is concerned, it still won’t be enough. “The car never stopped when the boys were hit or in the aftermath. One minute, he was skating; the next minute, he was lying there,” she testified about Mark at a pretrial hearing last April, pausing before adding, “I will say it—dead.”
“The thought of taking the easy way out crossed my mind. It still does.”
YE GODS!
Kanye West has reportedly lost $1.5 billion in endorsements since he started mouthing o .
Minneapolis police o cer Derek Chauvin
BY MERLE GINSBERG
KANYE
West has been dumped by so many brands (Adidas, Gap, Balenciaga, Foot Locker—even Goodwill is no longer accepting or selling his garments)—it’s easy to lose track of them all. But there was one L.A.based clothing company that truly went the extra mile for the artist now referring to himself as Ye, printing and very nearly distributing the “White Lives Matter” T-shirts that sparked an international uproar when West wore one to his Yeezy runway show in Paris in October.
The o ensive tees referencing the white
supremacist slogan appear to have been manufactured by Los Angeles Apparel, the company founded by Dov Charney, the fast-fashion entrepreneur who was booted from his original start-up, American Apparel, after he was accused of sexual harassment and fi nancial misconduct (charges he denied).
The pair go way back. Charney was a regular at West’s Sunday Service events and, at one point, acted as general manager for his Yeezy clothing line. Still, why Charney, who is Jewish, would partner with the unstable 45-year-old mogul on his WLM T-shirts (which also
featured an image of the late Pope John Paul II, the ponti who infamously ignored decades of child sex abuse in the Catholic Church) is anybody’s guess. (Los Angeles reached out to Charney and his PR team but got no response.) The deal went south, though, after West began sharing his anti-Semitic sentiments on social media—tweeting that he intended to go “death con [sic] 3 on Jewish People”—at which point Charney decided not to peddle the shirts in his stores.
Meanwhile, West, despite growing backlash, has continued to spew hate and stir up controversy. In the past few weeks, he’s been sued for $250 million by the family of George Floyd for claiming Floyd died of a drug overdose rather than being murdered by former
He’s been forcibly removed from Skechers’s Manhattan Beach o ces after showing up unannounced, and he even got into a heated exchange at his six-year-old son’s soccer game, shouting and waving his arms at another parent as ex-wife Kim Kardashian watched from the sidelines.
As for the fate of all those WLM shirts Charney printed up? West and his stylist, Ian Connor, recently posted a video of themselves unloading the tees on Skid Row’s homeless community.
YET ANOTHER Rat Pack-era Hollywood institution is getting a face-lift. La Dolce Vita in Beverly Hills—where the Sinatras, Kennedys, Reagans, Fondas, and Pecks all once dined—is being refurbished by restaurant
revivers Mark Rose and Med Abrous. The duo, who recently modernized Genghis Cohen on Fairfax Avenue, are planning to reopen the 56-year-old eatery on Santa Monica Boulevard, a stone-crab’s throw from the Waldorf Astoria, by the new year.
“We want to introduce it to a whole new group of Angelenos,” Rose says. “It was designed in the 1960s by a famed Hollywood set decorator to look like a New York restaurant. And we want to retain that sense of red-sauce nostalgia while leaning it toward its Beverly Hills soul.”
It’s just the latest in what’s shaping up to be a Beverly Hills restaurant resurgence. A Jon & Vinny’s recently opened on North Bedford Drive, while chef Kurt Zdesar will will be setting up shop at the new Mandarin Oriental Residences sometime in 2023. —M.G.
WHEN IT comes to helping the homeless, there has been no more loudly progressive place on earth than West Hollywood—at least until its city council decided to plant a halfway house for the homeless at the corner of Santa Monica and La Cienega boulevards. Pushback against a proposed 23-room “homeless transition facility” to be housed in the former Holloway Motel—nestled between a CVS and an
IHOP, a block from the Soho House’s new Holloway House—has been ferocious since the council approved the development back in June.
“First, we had homeless people on the street chasing people on their way to
be transitioning into jobs and living spaces of their own after they cycle through their 30-to-90day stays.
That hasn’t exactly calmed the neighborhood.
“There is no transparency in this inside
accusations from sometimes surprising sources.
Gelson’s,” says one angry, 30-year resident. “Then, they got meth and knives. This is no time to invite them to live here.” Adds another resident, “There are drunks sleeping on the streets in that area, on the stairs, at the bus stop. I’m afraid to go there after 6:30 p.m.”
An opening date hasn’t yet been announced for the house, which is being paid for by a $6 million grant from West Hollywood’s A ordable Housing Trust Fund. But while WeHo’s council acknowledges that it has received complaints— “The mayor, mayor pro tempore, and councilmembers are addressing them,” a spokesperson notes—it remains committed to the project, quietly assuring residents that its occupants will
deal that puts a homeless transition camp in the heart of city center,” fumed an employee of nearby Barney’s Beanery at a recent Chamber of Commerce meeting. —M.G.
THE KNIVES are clearly out for 72-year-old comedy icon Bill Murray. Last spring, you may remember, the SNL alum was booted from the set of Being Mortal after complaints of “inappropriate behavior” were lodged by a young female costar. At the time, Murray seemed contrite—“Times change, so it’s important for me to figure it out,” he told reporters—but since then, there’s been a growing drumbeat of other
Geena Davis, for instance, who costarred with Murray in 1990’s Quick Change, reveals in her just-published memoir, Dying of Politeness, that Murray harassed her with a massage machine on the set, determined to use it on her back despite her objections. Seth Green has also surfaced an old, unpleasant memory, recalling how when he was a nine-yearold child actor about to appear in a skit on SNL, Murray picked him up by the ankles and tossed him in a trash can. “I ran away, hid under the table in my dressing room, and just cried,” Green says. Finally, there’s Rob Schneider, who remembers that Murray “hated Chris Farley with a passion” and “really hated Adam Sandler, too.”
As for the “inappropriate behavior” on the Being Mortal set—that turned out to be kissing
and straddling the “horrified” younger actress. Puck recently reported that Murray paid a $100,000 settlement to the woman.
MIKE CESSARIO was bouncing around L.A. ad agencies after gradu ating from Pasadena’s ArtCenter College of Design when he beheld what all marketing types covet but seldom find: a gap ing hole in a marketplace with unlimited upside.
A former punk rock and heavy metal musician, Cessario knew that, far from the stereotypes, a significant portion of his cohort neither drank beer nor swilled the heavily ca ein ated energy drinks constantly pushed on them. They wanted healthy beverages, and the healthiest of all, Cessario posited, was pure mountain water but marketed with the punk attitude of IPAs like Voodoo Ranger and Todd the Axe Man.
Thus did Cessario cofound Liquid Death in 2017. Packaged in tallboyesque aluminum cans adorned with Old English lettering and a melting skull, the 16.9 ounces of water within, Cessario soon discovered, was almost beside the point.
Four months after it was launched via Facebook video with a market ing budget of only $4,500, Liquid Death had scored 80,000 followers and the video had generated 3 mil lion views. With that proof of concept, Cessario approached investors and in short order was presiding over the fastest-growing nonalcoholic bever age company in the world. Liquid Death is now the mostfollowed beverage brand on TikTok,with more than 21 billion social media impres sions, and is sold at 29,000 retail locations nationally, from Whole Foods to 7-Eleven.The brand’s latest round of funding increased its market value to $700 million; the company projects it will bank $130 million in revenue this year, a 188 percent increase over 2021’s $45 million.
All this from a trademark seem ingly calculated to repel prospective customers?
“Marketing doesn’t work the way it used to,’’ Cessario says. “You have to create something that’s actually funny, actually interest ing—something people haven’t seen before.”
Liquid Death found its first dis tributors in tattoo parlors, bars, and liquor stores, and soon was a back stage staple at metal and hard-core concerts. Its branding entertained and engaged with hopped-up metaphors that raged against the mainstream beverage machine. Liquid Death commands you to “murder your thirst.” Are you envi ronmentally conscious? Please The brand’s eco-friendly aluminum cans are “killing plastic.”
One year after launching, Liquid Death added a sparkling-water derivative with similar success and followed this year with three fla vored options: Berry It Alive, Mango Chainsaw, and Severed Lime, with an iced tea in the wings (might I sug gest Earl Grave?).
All of which suggests that there is, as Cessario surmised in 2017, a mass market for, of all things, rock and roll mountain water. Whether you are trying to ban your students from bringing it to school because of its gnarly packaging, getting the logo tattooed on your throat, as brand ambassador Steve-O recently endured, or just delighting in the fact that your nine-year-old is finally drinking water she thinks is badass, you are among the enablers helping Liquid Death to consume the market in a way no health beverage has before.
“It doesn’t mat ter if you’re a heavy metal dude or a soccer mom, if you have somewhat of a dark sense of humor, chances are you’re going to really love Liquid Death,” Cessario declares, adding, in vindication of his punk-rock-aslifestyle-marketing trope: “A great piece of advice I got a long time ago is that hard work is a waste of time if your idea sucks.”
Liquid Death sales could hit $130 million this year.A scene from one of Liquid Death’s viral videos introducing the brand.
WITH L.A. REAL ESTATE OFF 20 PERCENT SINCE ITS PEAK LAST SPRING, THE NUMBER OF SELLERS SLASHING PRICES HAS MORE THAN TRIPLED. HERE ARE SOME OF THE BIGGEST LOSERS
BY JOSEPHINE TASSONI AND MICHAEL WALKERFEATURES Reached via a winding private drive, this three-bedroom, three-bath, 2,988-square-foot traditional canyon home on five acres dates to the 1930s.
VALUE Since it was listed in June, the property has been reduced in price three times in roughly $1 million increments; the latest reduction was made in September.
PRICE $6,995,000 ⁄ TODAY $3,499,999
FEATURES Built in 2007, this 4,151-squarefoot hilltop three-level, 200 yards from the Hollywood Reservoir, has four bedrooms and five baths, with views to downtown.
VALUE The nearly $1 million price drop in September from the original June listing is indicative of the swiftly recalibrating prices in the L.A. residential market.
PRICE $2,970,000 ⁄ TODAY $2,000,000
FEATURES Located on one of Laurel Canyon’s most desirable streets, this five-bedroom, six-bath contemporary boasts views from downtown to the Pacific.
VALUE Last sold for $1.2 million in 2019, the house was listed in August at $3.8 million; the price has since been cut twice for a total reduction of $1,085,000.
PRICE $3,880,000 ⁄ TODAY $2,795,000
FEATURES This five-bedroom, two-and-a-halfbath, 1,800-square-foot house has an open layout and new appliances throughout.
VALUE First listed in September, the home’s current $999,000 price places it well below the neighborhood’s $1.3 million median and more closely aligns with the $1.04 million median in nearby West Adams.
PRICE $1,199,000 ⁄ TODAY $999,000
FEATURES Recently renovated, this 5,691-square-foot, five-bedroom, six-bath mid-century modern adds an eat-in chef’s kitchen and infinity pool with cabana.
VALUE The price was lowered $1 million after listing last spring, casual evidence that even a Beverly Hills location isn’t immune to current market pressures.
PRICE $7,950,000 ⁄ TODAY $6,799,000
FEATURES Gated and fully remodeled, this 1954 Cape Cod in the Palisades’ Via De La Paz Blu s neighborhood comprises five bedrooms, four baths, and 2,800 square feet of living space with mountain views.
VALUE Listed in September after the market’s peak, the property has since been reduced by $600,000.
PRICE $4,595,000 ⁄ TODAY $3,995,000
In a world of sameness and commoditization, it remains a standout not only in the way it’s made and enjoyed, but also in the culture that has been created around it and the care that goes into every aspect of its creation.
It is Venezuela’s oldest rum, 225 years and counting. But while other rums have evolved to use easier, time-saving methods in their production, Santa Teresa still uses blends that are aged up to 35 years in oak bourbon barrels then aged again using the timehonored Solera Method.
Santa Teresa is Venezuela’s Most-Awarded Rum, having garnered accolades and high marks from some of the world’s most prestigious spirits competitions including the International Wine & Spirits Competition, The Rum Masters, and the International Spirits Competition. Yet Santa Teresa continues to embrace an attitude of quiet, inobtrusive humility, taking great pride in every batch and continuing to give back to the underprivileged communities around its estate through Project Alcatraz.
Santa Teresa is recognized and appreciated around the world, but it is crafted in a small, singleestate distillery. Everything is done on-site, from growing and harvesting the sugar cane to final bottling, to make every batch more authentic and more sustainable.
While it is an indulgent experience to enjoy on one’s own, Santa Teresa makes an unexpectedly delightful gift as well. Especially when given in a personalized bottle with a personal message or holiday greeting inscribed on the label. It’s a gift that says a lot about the person giving it, while also conveying how much the recipient is appreciated as well.
But perhaps the most surprising thing about Santa Teresa is found in the enjoyment of every sip. It is a rich, deep, refined rum made with old-world skill, yet it delivers an unexpectedly dry finish that can accentuate the entire experience whether poured neat or made into a cocktail.
It’s time to indulge yourself with a truly premium rum that defies expectations at every turn and in every sip.
Order your personalized bottle at buysantateresarum.com
BY BENJAMIN SVETKEY PHOTOGRAPHED BY CORINA MARIE
HE 20-YEAR-OLD star of The Fabelmans, Gabriel LaBelle, reveals how he channeled his inner Spielberg in the director’s buzzy new autobiographical drama about growing up a teenage film geek.
What’s it like being directed by Steven Spielberg in a movie about Spielberg’s childhood? It’s such a meta situation for an actor to be in.
> Well, first, you don’t want to do a bad job and mess up his story. But, second, in terms of prep, all the information you need is right there. It’s his life. Your character is going through the things that he actually went through. So if there was a line that I didn’t quite understand or a situation where I wasn’t sure how to crack into the character’s mindset, I could just ask. Sometimes he would tell me; sometimes he would just let me figure it out on my own.
Did you study his mannerisms—can you do a killer Steven Spielberg impersonation at this point?
> Well, I didn’t do an impersonation. It’s not what Austin Butler was doing in Elvis This is Sammy Fabelman, not Steven Spielberg. If there’s a Venn diagram, there’s me, there’s Steven, and then there’s Sam. We may look similar—I may dress in the same clothes in the movie; I may physically change my hair and eye color to look like him. But it’s hard to impersonate a 75-year-old guy 60 years earlier in his life. But, yes, I got some of his mannerisms down. I got his walk, his posture. I started smiling like him …
> He doesn’t expose his front teeth when he smiles. So I learned how to do that and how to justify why my character would do that. Maybe he’s embarrassed and trying to hide a smile.
> He was growing up in the 1950s, and you had to be very presentable in those
times. So his walk and posture is all in his chest. But, now, he’s lived a lifetime and created this incredible body of work, so he’s a lot more confident as a man. His center is much lower and in his hips. He has this swagger and his head is down. It’s much more centered.
Something like 2 ,000 actors auditioned for the part. I’m imagining it as a giant open call like in The Producers , with the singing Spielbergs on one side of the stage and the dancing Spielbergs on the other
> Everything was over Zoom. I almost prefer to audition by Zoom. I don’t have to go anywhere and worry about where to park and where do I sign in and who do I talk to. All that is distracting. Auditioning by Zoom, I can really focus and put all my energy into the audition and close my eyes and think about what I’m going to do while I’m in the Zoom waiting room.
Your dad, Rob LaBelle, is a successful character actor. He helped you get into the business. What was his reaction when you landed the part?
> You could feel the pride coming o his face. He was actually with me when I got the news. My agent called and said, ‘Let me patch in your manager,’ and put me on hold. I kind of knew then that I got the part—there was no point in patching in a third person if I didn’t get it. They said, ‘What are you doing right now?’ And I told them I’m on my deck with my dad and brother. And they said, ‘Put us on speaker.’ ” They teased it out. I’m walking in a circle thinking, ‘Oh, my God,’ and my dad’s all excited and smiling. It was very cool.
You seem pretty calm for a 20-yearold who’s about to star as the lead in a Spielberg movie. Was there ever a point in this process where you looked at yourself in the mirror and thought, “Holy crap! My world is about to totally change!”?
> Yeah, I mean, it’s a lot to comprehend. It is very strange. Like, shooting the movie was exhausting and scary and tough—the stakes were really high, and I was exhausted and drinking too much ca eine—so I feel like I released a lot of that kind of energy while making it. But seeing it for the first time at the Toronto Film Festival—oh man, I was so scared. When it started rolling, I was holding onto my mom’s hand.
Above: LaBelle as young Spielberg in The Fabelmans. Left: with Spielberg at the Toronto Film Festival in September.“It’s hard to impersonate a 75-year-old guy 60 years earlier in his life.”
BY JORDAN RIEFE
› At 85, David Hockney remains as vital as he was in the 1970s. That’s when he met Peter Goulds, founder of L.A. Louver, ground zero for an unprecedented international exhibition of new works. The gallery’s latest show, David Hockney: 20 Flowers and Some Bigger Pictures, is based on iPad paintings Hockney made in 2020 while quarantined at his studio in Normandy, France. Along with flower still lifes, the “bigger pictures” are landscapes marking the seasons and reimagining the French countryside. Making its debut is 25th June 2022, Looking at the Flowers (Framed), a large-scale photographic drawing.
L.A. Louver, lalouver.com, November 16 through January 7.
›
Invincible: The Musical is Romeo and Juliet with a boomer score. That’s husband-wife team Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo culling from their catalog and adding some new tunes to this world-premiere play. Literature’s favorite lovelorn teens now live in a modern, war-torn Verona where Chancellor Paris vows to quash the progressive resistance. The Wallis, thewallis.org, November 22 through December 18.
› After a two-year shutdown, the Holiday Ice Rink returns to downtown, kicking o the season with the annual Icebreaker Opening Celebration, featuring live performances, special guests, and a balm for the winter blues— the shattering of a big ice sculpture. Pershing Square, holidayicerink downtownla.com,
November 23 through January 1.
› The latest novel from Pulitzer Prize-winning author and SoCal native Jane Smiley (A Thousand Acres), A Dangerous Business, is set in Gold Rush California, where two young prostitutes set out to solve a string of murders. December 6.
› It was going to happen last July, so if you had tickets back then, now’s the time to join Ira Glass and Jad Abumrad, the hosts of public radio’s This American Life and Radiolab, discussing their respective shows about science, humanity, and finding the epic in the everyday. The Theatre at Ace Hotel, acehotel.com, December 10.
› Is there a better way to spend Christmas than with Grammy-winning singer Harry Connick, Jr.? Before you answer,
consider listening to him croon through holiday classics as well as original seasonal faves like “When My Heart Finds Christmas.” Pantages Theatre, broadwayin hollywood.com, December 15 through 17.
› Oscar-winning filmmaker Alejandro G. Iñárritu delivers an autobiographical film, Bardo, á la the Fellini classic, 8½. A documentary filmmaker grapples with an existential crisis surrounding identity, family, and memory. Netflix, December 16.
RING IN THE NEW YEAR AT PAWS UP. AMERICA’S PRIVATE NATIONAL PARK.® We couldn’t think of a better way to welcome another decade. Especially when your pre-party is a customized itinerary of outdoorsy delights like dogsledding, sleigh riding or snowmobiling. There are no crowds here. Only good cheer and close family. Plus a fresh new perspective on an exciting new year.
HAVING ENDURED DECADES IN THE HOLLYWOOD WILDERNESS, BRENDAN FRASER IS BACK WITH THE WHALE, IN A ROLE THAT REAFFIRMS HIS ACTING CHOPS AND STAR POWER
BY STEVE ERICKSONWHEN TWO teenagers dug up the Cro-Magnon that time forgot in 1992’s Encino Man , the big gest surprise was how quickly evolution had gotten around to producing someone who resem bled Brendan Fraser. In his prime, the Indiana-grown Fraser looked like what back in the day would have been called a “matinee idol,” which made him perfect casting for the retromatinee blockbuster The Mummy and also inevitably placed him on People magazine’s Most Beautiful list. If he didn’t already have an instinct for it, Fraser learned early and quickly what matinee idols from Cary Grant to George Clooney have learned over the history of movies, which is that, if you’re going to be that good-looking, you’d better have a sense of humor about yourself. “Do you know what’s wrong with you?” Audrey Hepburn asks Grant in Charade, providing her own answer—“Nothing”— which sums up the immediate dilemma of a man considered too perfect to be interesting.
In Fraser’s case, he has had to cope with being beautiful and then not being beautiful, or—in The Whale, his trium phant comeback—turning himself into what most peo ple will regard as grotesque. That’s a harsh word in these woke times when The Whale already has been accused by some of being “fatphobic,” but denying it misses the point of the main character’s despair and self-disgust; a remote-learning lit teacher who aban doned his family for a male lover, he has since imprisoned himself in a 600-pound body.
Over the past decade or two, however, something odd happened to Fraser, as careers go. The former matinee idol increasingly found himself a character actor in supporting roles on TV miniseries like Trust and The Affair and, most recently, Steven Soderbergh’s No Sudden Move on HBO Max, when he wasn’t struggling not to flame out altogether. Derailed by a ruinous divorce settlement, the death of his mother, the trauma of a sexual assault literally at the hand of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association’s ex-president, not to mention aging and weight gain and an array of surgeries on his back and knees and vocal cords, almost certainly Fraser brings to The Whale enough lived-in dejec tion and defeat and maybe even a barely determined self-loath ing to inform the film. Without trivializing for a moment what someone like Charlie goes through, the movie in no small part has become perceived as something of an unwit ting metaphor for its leading man’s own recent experiences. In other words, as surely as Charlie resolutely raises his 600 pounds just to walk sev eral steps across a room, The Whale is Fraser’s comeback.
The Whale is as fitfully powerful as you might imag ine, and if it displays some of the claustrophobia of Samuel D. Hunter’s acclaimed stage play before he adapted it for the screen, director Darren Aronofsky has made the most of it in a story where Charlie’s sense of claustrophobia is no farther away than his own physi cal self. And if some of the contrivances of such an adaptation are apparent, the small ensemble cast overcomes them with varying success: having the least to work with as Charlie’s ex, Samantha Morton is predictably great anyway; and, in partic ular, Hong Chau—notable over recent years in Inherent Vice, Downsizing, and TV’s Watchmen—is a standout as Charlie’s one true friend, equal parts compassion and exasperated fury.
Fraser’s serious work was often overshadowed by fare like Encino Man.
Fraser’s performance as Charlie, who knows his chances of redemption in the eyes of his estranged daughter grow slimmer with each passing minute, is a tour de force that will startle even audiences familiar with the actor’s dramatic chops at the outset of his career. Notwithstanding the salutary self-humor of Encino Man, The Mummy, and the latter’s two sequels, Fraser more than held his own opposite Ian McKellen and Lynn Redgrave in 1998’s Gods and Monsters before gracefully stealing from Michael Caine 2002’s underappreciated The Quiet American.
That said, of course the movie belongs to Fraser, who’s equal parts fatalism and towering fortitude, playing a man whose good heart may not be good enough to withstand the weight of a regretful life. It’s a comeback story that, come March, may call for an Oscar to the actor that time forgot and then remembered.
Fraser’s performance in the film is a tour de force.
L.A. DETECTIVE HARRY BOSCH IS HANGING OUT WITH A YOUNGER WOMAN
BY JORDAN RIEFE
BACK WH E N he was a college student at the University of Florida in Gainesville, Michael Connelly discovered the works of quintessential L.A. crime novelist Raymond Chandler. He tore through every book he could find, devouring every sentence, hoping that by immersing himself in Chandler’s dark, murderous world, he could someday learn to write his own crime novels.
For a young, aspiring author, it wasn’t much of a plan. But, boy, did it work.
Connelly’s 37th novel, Desert Star, set in the L.A. underworld, features a character who’s been with the 66-year-old author from the very start—former homicide detective turned private eye Harry Bosch—as well as a relative newcomer: Renée Ballard, a hotheaded, toughas-nails young LAPD detective who began popping up in Connelly’s fiction about four years ago. Put in charge of the newly revived OpenUnsolved Unit, which deals with apparently hopeless cases, she enlists Bosch’s help in solving the murder of 16-year-old Sarah Pearlman, sister of the city council member who helped resuscitate the cold-case unit.
Meanwhile, Bosch procures Ballard’s help in his continuing hunt for his own pet cold case, the slaying of an entire family by a murderer who remains at large.
Bosch is somewhat unique as a crime novel hero in that he grows older from book to book. When he fi rst appeared, in 1992’s Edgar Award-winning novel The Black Echo, he was just 42 years old. In this latest, he’s 72.
Though Bosch has reached retirement age, Connelly hasn’t been ready to put the character out to pasture. This is why Ballard—based on reallife L.A. detective Mitzi Roberts, who’s been advising Connelly on his books for years— started appearing in his story lines.
“I needed to pair Bosch with someone who understands he still has skills and that he can go on,” says Connelly. “Ballard became a way of getting to that.” Connelly adds that he’s in constant contact with Roberts whenever he writes about the character.
“I didn’t want to get into the situation where I imagine what it’s like to be a woman in a male dominated bureaucracy,” he says.
(Connelly began his career as a newspaper reporter in Florida, where he was short-listed for a Pulitzer Prize for his coverage of the 1985 crash of Delta Flight 191, and, later, worked at the Los Angeles Times.)
The focus of the 2017 stand-alone novel The Late Show, Ballard is not nearly as prominent as Bosch in Connelly’s universe, but that could change when the time fi nally does
come for the aging detective to hang up his gun and move to Boca Raton—although it’s di cult to imagine Bosch completely fading from the crime scene. The 24 books in which he’s the main character have sold tens of millions of copies over the last 30 years, attracting fans like Bill Clinton (who, while president, was photographed holding a copy of Connelly’s third book, The Concrete Blonde, a priceless bit of accidental promotion that boosted the author’s early career).
Amazon’s original TV series based on the Bosch books (with Titus Welliver in the titular role) lasted seven seasons, until 2021, and a new series, Bosch: Legacy, about Bosch’s silver years, launched last May. There’s even been some loose talk about Bosch someday crossing paths on screen, as he has from time to time in print, with Mickey Haller, the car-bound counselor at law who’s been the hero of six of Connelly’s other crime novels (and who has his own series on Netfl ix, starring Manuel Garcia-Rulfo).
But Connelly isn’t holding his breath. “You’re talking about Netfl ix and Amazon coming together and shaking hands and saying, ‘Let’s do this,’ ” he says. “It seems very unlikely to me. But it’s too bad. It would be nice.”
“I needed to pair Bosch with someone who understands he still has skills.”
HOLIDAY LIGHT shows are bringing a magical glow to botanical gar dens, historic sites, and the open sea this season. Come fall, Angelenos, raised on searchlights and neon, long for the spectacle of nature illuminated. Landmarks like the Mission Inn have been polish ing their marvels for decades, while COVID-era drive-through experi ences have expanded into complete nights out, with food trucks and cocktail lounges. Here, our recom mendations for a shining celebration.
Los Angeles County Arboretum, Arcadia
› This British import blazes a trail through L.A. County’s oft-filmed botanical garden. The sights and sounds, created in conjunc tion with Sony Music, include the Winter Cathedral and Fire Garden set amid 10,000 trees and plants from around the world. $15-$39, November 11 through January 8, arboretum.org.
Los Angeles Zoo, Gri th Park
› After the live animals go to bed for the night, their light-filled lantern avatars take over the menagerie. The illuminated animals make the flowers and trees glow while you stroll through, enjoying live entertainment and sipping hot chocolate. VIP tickets allow you into a private lounge with gourmet hors d’oeuvres and a signature cocktail. $15-$100, November 18 through January 22, lazoo.org.
Descanso Gardens, La Cañada Flintridge
› Fine artists from around the world col laborate on the outdoor installations set in this fantasy forest. Roam through a town made of stained glass, spin the massive lanterns hanging in the dark, and gaze in awe at the giant, shimmering trees. $22$40, November 20 through January 8, descansogardens.org
King Gillette Ranch, Calabasas
› Take Gingerbread Lane to the light tunnel to find the elf village at this historic ranch in the celebrity-hideout neighborhood. The
one-mile main trail is filled with photo ops, souvenir shops, and a premium holiday bar with savory cocktails. Who knows which Kardashian might sidle up next to you. $25$45, November 25 through December 30, holidayroadusa.com.
Mission Inn, Riverside
› The 30th annual edition of the community extravaganza sprawls across the entirety of the 146-year-old hotel compound and throughout downtown Riverside, where you can take a ride in a twinkling carriage before admiring the 400 animated figures, life-size gingerbread house, and the magical Christmas tree. Free, November 25 through January 6, missioninn.com.
South Coast Botanic Garden, Palos Verdes Estates
› Immerse yourself in the music, cosmologi cal wonders, and astral visions projected in the gardens. Walk the celestial trail through the story of falling stars while listening to a cosmic choir during this otherworldly experience. $20-$29, December 8 through January 15, astraluminalosangeles.com.
› The dark, silent sea will be awakened by an enormous fireworks show at the start of the 60th annual parade, where more than 80 illuminated yachts glide through the marina. You can view the spectacle from the res taurants in Fisherman’s Village, which have tables right on the water. Free, December 10, mdrboatparade.org.
ON ANY GIVEN day at Bub and Grandma’s, owner Andy Kadin can be found clearing tables, running slices of key lime pie to guests, or chatting with customers.
In 2015, Kadin pivoted from his career as a writer to open a tiny sand wich shop. The only problem was, Kadin couldn’t find the kind of submarine-sand wich bread he grew up eating in Italian delis in New Jersey. So with no prior culinary experience, Kadin took matters into his own hands and began baking it himself. He perfected crusty loaves of sourdough and squares of ciabatta that were soon discovered by the owner of Dune in nearby Atwater Village, who began making beet sandwiches with them.
The wholesale business rapidly grew, and Bub and Grandma’s became one of the most beloved bread purveyors in the city, selling to 150 of Los Angeles’s most prominent restaurants.
MANNA Roast beef au jus on a roll is one of the sandwiches made daily with Kadin’s freshly baked bread.
Seven years later, Kadin reigns over a far bigger version of his dream, serving plates of brisket sandwiches made
with the bread that launched the business. He refers to it as the “Bub Sub,” which pas try chef Christopher Lier spent at least six months developing.
“It was always in our minds that even tually we were gonna have a sandwich shop and need pastries there,” says Lier, who worked as pastry chef for Osteria and Pizzeria Mozza. Lier’s pastries—including a tender-to-the-bite croissant made with spelt, morning buns, and seasonally fruity, freshly fried doughnuts—are a destination all their own.
Chef Zach Jarrett heads the kitchen at Bub and Grandma’s, which currently serves breakfast and lunch, both centered on the bread—that is, egg sandwiches in the morning and an array of salads and sandwiches around midday.
Kadin says he plans to open for dinner service at some point, with live entertain ment and libations. “We’re gonna do jazz with beer and wine,” he says hopefully.
These, of course, are just dreams for now. But so far, Kadin’s had pretty good luck with those.
3507 Eagle Rock Blvd., Glassell Park, bubandgrandmas.com
WEST HOLLYWOOD
● The new location of this plant-based empire dazzles. Cocktails are the star along with veggie versions of carni vore food like carrot “lox,” eggplant “oysters,” and cauliflower “strip steak.”
8755 Melrose Ave., thebutchersdaughter.com
BEVERLY GROVE
● This o shoot of the Parisian caviar maison o ers all the same glamour with a touch of L.A. ease. This means Dungeness crab crostini topped with caviar, and California chopped salad with green goddess caviar dressing.
8475 Melrose Pl., caviarkaspiala.com
DOWNTOWN
● Chris Bianco’s L.A. debut at ROW DTLA is a hit. During the day, a line forms for slices of his N.Y.-style takeout pizza. At night, it’s full-service dining featuring the wood-fired pizza Bianco made famous.
1320 E. 7th St., Ste. 100, pizzeriabianco.com
Tommaso Muzzi panettone: an iconic holiday cake made with the same slow-rising recipe since 1795.
Perfect for any holiday occasion, whether you enjoy it after dinner or with coffee the next morning.
1. Bollinger R.D. Extra Brut Champagne 2007 ($350)
› Champagne is essential for the holiday season— for toasting, gifting, or selfishly hoarding into the New Year—and this one’s pretty much the top of the line. Bollinger’s wines are heavy on Pinot Noir (70 percent, in this case, with 30 percent Chardonnay) and so already show considerable richness. “R.D.” ups the game: Récemment dégorgé, or “recently disgorged,” means that the wine has been aged in the bottle on its lees— the dead yeast cells that remain after fermentation—concentrating the richness and amplfying the flavors. The result shows all the elegance of Champagne and all the complexity of a premier cru Burgundy.
2. Cullen Wines Kevin John Margaret River Chardonnay 2021 ($100)
› Margaret River in Western Australia produces some of the Southern Hemisphere’s finest Chardonnays,
and this is a superb example. It’s a wine that should satisfy lovers of both big, oaky Chardonnays and more restrained, smoothly structured ones because it goes right down the middle, with enough mineral acidity to calm the oak and heft. Pricey, yes, but also unforgettable, and a handsome match for everything from onion soup to pumpkin pie.
3.
Vineyards
fruit, crisp-apple acidity, and a long, bone-dry finish that leaves you wanting more. A fit pairing for Festa dei Sette Pesci (Feast of the Seven Fishes), the traditional Italian American Christmas Eve supper, but also just to sip by the fire at the end of the day.
4. Lucien et André Brunel Châteauneufdu-Pape Les Cailloux Blanc 2019 ($60)
you’re dining on festive turkey, ham, or goose— but it’s also a good match for nothing more than snacks and conversation.
5. Lustau Don Nuño Dry Oloroso Sherry ($26)
7. Venturini Baldini Montelocco Lambrusco Emilia IGP ($14)
Napa Valley Spring Mountain District Riesling 2018 ($30)
› A nice surprise; a textbook Riesling by an underrated producer from a region not particularly known for the grape. It’s bright and fresh, with plenty of
› The best-known examples of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, the legendary “Pope’s wine” from France’s southern Rhône, are red; but the whites can also be superb. This beauty, with citrus and mineral notes overlaying a mouth-filling opulence, is the kind of thing you’d want in your glass when
» Some wines match well with specific foods, but you shouldn’t stress over food pairings; most good wines work with almost anything. Just avoid serving delicate ones with very hearty dishes and vice versa.
› Here’s a dry wine with the richness of a sweet one. In contrast to angular, yeasty, dry fino sherry (like Tío Pepe), Don Nuño is rounded, with a nose suggesting roasted almonds and to ee, and a dried-fruit character on the palate, nicely o set by racy acidity—a perfect aperitif.
6. Kanonkop Kadette Pinotage 2019 ($24)
› Wines made from South Africa’s signature Pinotage grape, an unlikely cross between Pinot Noir and the Rhône variety Cinsaut, are still largely under the radar in the U.S., but wine like this warm, earthy red, with its almost meaty aroma, lush softness, and faintly peppery fruit, can match anything from an Impossible Burger to an A5 Wagyu rib eye.
› Riunite was a massproduced Lambrusco from Italy’s EmiliaRomagna region, once promoted with “Riunite on ice—that’s nice.” Forget Riunite. Lambrusco can be serious stu —but serious stu that’s fun. This one’s a good example: vivid red in color, e ervescent, semidry, juicy with flavors of plums and red berries, and all too easy to drink. It’s a classic match for prosciutto and might well be the ultimate pizza wine.
8.
Ardanza Reserva Rioja 2015 ($40)
› Some of the most dependably pleasing and fairly priced red wines around are Spain’s Riojas. This is an eloquent case in point—suave, subtle, with a nose that suggests the autumnal aromas of a damp forest floor and a flavor that hints at dried cherries and Christmas spices. Bring on the roast beef or game birds.
● In 1957, Ti any & Co. commissioned Andy Warhol to create a set of bold greeting cards. Now, the jewelry house is introducing limited-edition items based on hisiconic illustrations, such as these hand-painted glass ornaments. Ti any & Co. x Andy Warhol limited-edition ornaments, $400 for set of three at ti any.com
● Former fashion designer Gregory Parkinson’s block-printed, hand-loomed Indian cotton napkins in honeycomb melon will sweeten any meal. Gregory Parkinson Surround napkins, $220 for set of six at Kneeland Co., 4767 W. Adams Blvd., West Adams, kneelandco.com
● Renowned for its premium watch selection, Gearys Beverly Hills o ers equally covetable home decor, like this handpainted, limited-edition ginger jar. Herend blue peony ginger jar, $6,275 at Gearys, 351 N. Beverly Dr., Beverly Hills, gearys.com
● These salad/dessert plates from L.A.- and Paris-based tastemaker Zoë de Givenchy are hand-glazed in real gold and painted by Italian specialists.
Givenchy Fruits d’Or plates, $239 each at z
● Design star Kelly Wearstler teamed up with Sticky Glass to create this elegant hand-blown pitcher that catches and refracts the light.
Sticky Glass Bubble Pitcher in gold leaf, $390 at kellywearstler.com
● A modern take on the classic Hanukkah toy, Marmol Radziner’s handmade walnut dreidel with brass stand echoes the spare lines and quality materials the architects use to build and restore homes across the city. Marmol Radziner + the Jewish Museum dreidel, $190 at Marmol Radziner, 12210 Nebraska Ave., Sawtelle, at marmol-radziner.com
dgo cial.com tory—from
● Created by an L.A.-based author-and-illustrator duo, this book spotlighting 50 of the most influential Black women in history—from Michelle Obama to Cardi B—will inspire children and adults alike. Black Icons in Herstory: 50 Legendary Women, $28 at Chevalier’s Books, 133 N. Larchmont Blvd., Larchmont Village, and chroniclebooks.com
● ECF Art Centers across L.A. provide workspace and representation to gifted developmentally disabled adults. Their annual holiday sale features multimedia pieces by these artists, some of whom already work with museums and galleries. Ceramic vase by Larry Pearsall, $400 at artecf.org
five-pack, $41 at
L.A.-based Siesta Co.’s owners pay homage to the canned seafood of their native Spain with high-quality fish packaged in charming tins. Variety siesta-co.com.
Flamingo Estate’s sensuous gift set combines the Highland Park property’s dark, sweet wine and specialedition botanical chocolates made with regeneratively grown fruit and spices.
Night Bloom Vino Dolce and botanical bonbons, $180 at flamingoestate.com
● Justin Chao learned the art of French caramel-making at Paris’s Michelin-rated Le Meurice before opening Le Bon Garçon in East Hollywood. His signature chocolates are available in mint for the holidays. Holiday mint caramels, from $19 at lebongarcon.com
Brightland’s latest olive oil, cold-pressed with olives grown on California’s Central Coast and infused with rosemary extract, pairs perfectly with cozy holiday cuisine. Aurora, $40 at brightland.co.
● Make a fashionable entrance with this panettone from Gucci Osteria, created with chef Roy Shvartzapel, known for this old world Italian bread. Panettone, $160 at Gucci Osteria, 347 N. Rodeo Dr., Beverly Hills, gucciosteria.com
● Santa Monica-based Lady & Larder’s charcuterie wreath kit includes gourmet prosciutto, salami, sea salt-blistered almonds, dried fruit, and fresh herbs. DIY holiday charcuterie wreath, $215 at 828 Pico Blvd., Ste. 2, Santa Monica, ladyandlarder.com.
● Newly launched, womenled Maie o ers modern wine drinkers a low-waste option with this trio of single-serving bottles. Discovery pack, $35 at drinkmaie.com
● Foraged by trusty dogs deep in the forests of Piedmont, these primo fresh white tru es are just a car ride away at Century City’s hub for all things Italian, Eataly. White tru es, market price at Eataly, 10250 Santa Monica Blvd., Century City, eataly.com
● The biometric sensor in this sleek eye mask from the innovators behind Theragun combines heat, vibration, and massage for personalized relaxation. SmartGoggles, $199 at Reset by Therabody, 11677 San Vicente Blvd., Ste. 101, Brentwood, therabody.com
● Pro legend Jon Julio’s Santa Ana-based Them Skates partnered with Clarks Originals on these retro in-line skates in the former’s signature headturning hue. Clarks Originals x Them skates 909 58MM, $400 at themgoods.com
● This 18-karat gold Guccilogo-engraved Oura ring tracks sleep, physical activity, and other health metrics with unprecedented style. Gucci x Oura ring, $950 at Gucci, 347 N. Rodeo Dr., Beverly Hills, gucci.com
● This 1966 Jazzmaster replica from California-born Fender will delight the musicians in your life. Plus, it sells for a fraction of the original’s American Vintage 1966 Jazzmaster, $2,400 at
resale price. II fender.com
● Pickleball is a phenomenon, and these Recess paddles, created in collaboration with HGTV interior designer Leanne Ford, will up any devotee’s game. Leanne Ford for Recess pickleball paddles, $86 each at recesspickleball.com
● The playful palm-tree motif inside this handsome Melrose capsule collection suitcase—exclusive to Globe-Trotter’s new WeHo fl agship—will bring a smile to weary Angelenos away from home. Melrose Carry-On 4-Wheels, $2,195 at Globe-Trotter, 8483 Melrose Pl., West Hollywood, us.globe-trotter.com
● Huntington Beach skate shop Madrid partnered with the equally storied Garland Hotel to create this custom board in the shape of the Golden State. California skateboard, $150 at the Store at the Garland, 4222 Vineland Ave., North Hollywood.
● L.A. design house Flora Nero is turning cannabis accessories into high art, making this sleek joint holder a cool way to carry. Flora Nero Bronze joint case, $280 at Just One Eye, 915 N. Sycamore Ave., Hollywood, justoneeye.com
SAT DEC 3 11:30AM & 2:30PM
Melissa Peterman, host John Sutton, conductor Angeles Chorale
Raise your voice and your spirit in this annual holiday tradition that o ers fun, cheer, and a whole lot of music for the entire family.
SAT DEC 10 11AM
SAT DEC 17 11AM
Symphonies for Youth:
The Nutcracker
Los Angeles Philharmonic Gustavo Dudamel, conductor
A timeless Christmas favorite that o ers drama and memorable melodies.
3 PERFORMANCES!
TUE–THU DEC 20-22 8PM
Home Alone in Concert
David Newman, conductor
David Newman leads John Williams’ score at these special screenings of the holiday classic.
© 1990 Twentieth Century Fox
FRI DEC 23 8PM
The 10-time Grammy®-winning Arturo Sandoval makes it a jumping, jiving, jingling night at Walt Disney Concert Hall, performing a program of holiday favorites decked out in Latin jazz styling.
SAT DEC
a Christmas favorite with a jazzy twist!
TUE DEC 13 8PM
The beloved Grammy®-winning “orchestra of voices” returns with their signature holiday performance.
2 PERFORMANCES!
SAT DEC 31 7PM & 10:30PM
New Year’s Eve with The Roots
laphil.com/deckthehall | 323 850 2000 Groups (10+) 323 850 2050 | Programs, artists, prices, and dates subject to change.
GROOVY BUCKET
● This prairie-style maxi dress from women’s collective Dôen is made of 100 percent silk and comes in a kaleidoscope of autumnal colors. Aimee dress, $998 at Dôen, 225 26th St., Ste. 4, Santa Monica, shopdoen.com
● The Elder Statesman imbues the richest fabric with killer colors. These unisex cashmere socks are sure to spoil even the person whose closet is overflowing. Dazed Yosemite socks, $275 at the Elder Statesman, 607 Huntley Dr., West Hollywood, elder-statesman.com
● Designer Mike Amiri made “L.A. casual” luxe, with a store on Rodeo Drive to prove it. His men’s kicks easily leap from street to soiree. MA-1 sneakers, $790 at Amiri, 461 N. Rodeo Dr., Beverly Hills, amiri.com
sneakers,
● Nothing enhances a holiday look—or any look for that matter—better than a colorful print bag, like this whimsical MaxMara clutch. Medium Twill Pasticcino bag, $395, at us.maxmara.com
● Alexander Daas’s eponymous brand of unisex frames, including these Portofino tortoise and mango sunglasses, add style and swagger to any ensemble. Portofino frames, $450 at Alexander Daas, 161 N. Larchmont Blvd., Windsor Square, alexanderdaas.com
● Canada Goose may be famous for its light-as-a-feather down coats, but the brand’s 100 percent cotton hoodie is soft enough to steal the spotHuron hoodie, $350 at canadagoose.com.
● The dreamy hue of the Guess Ginevra satchel’s faux-croc finish matches the L.A. sky and is the perfect color to carry into the new year. Ginevra Elite Society satchel, $128, at guess.com
The ultimate in hygge, Jenni Kayne’s shearling-lined clogs can go indoors or out, since the warm fuzzies are this winter’s hottest trend. Moc clog, $375 at Jenni Kayne, 614 N. Almont Dr., West Hollywood, jennikayne.com
light. jennikayne.com
● Brad Pitt partnered with holistic healer Sat Hari on this new line of unisex plaid shirts. Deceptively grunge, these handwoven cashmere tartans feature hand-cut gemstone buttons, with a price tag to match. God’s True cashmere shirt, $2,250 at Just One Eye, 915 N. Sycamore Ave., Hollywood, justoneeye.com.
Designer Asaka Fushimi sells these patchwork bucket hats made from vintage bandanas, Dodgers memorabilia, Japanese souvenir pillowcases, military jackets, and old polo shirts to the likes of Naomi Osaka and LeBron James. From $158 at asakafushimi.com
● Lunya’s mantra is “Rest, restore, recharge,” and this dreamy silk robe in a rich holiday hue is the ideal wardrobe staple for indulging in all three. Washable silk robe, $278, at Lunya, at lunya.com
DIAMONDS, WATCHES, AND BAUBLES, OH MY! (AND NOT ALL OF THEM ARE PRICED SKY-HIGH)
● Few things are more L.A. than a wristful of Karen Lazar’s sparkling, stackable stretch bracelets made of small gold balls adorned with diamonds and other precious gemstones. Signature stacking bracelets, from $48, at Karen Lazar Design, 11727 Barrington Ct., Brentwood, karenlazardesign.com
● San Marino-based Single Stone Jewelers’s striking 18-karat gold swallow charm set with Old European cut diamonds will make any lucky recipient swoon. Large pendant, $7,000 at Single Stone, 2527 Mission St., San Marino, singlestone.com
● The Navitimer is the most iconic of all Breitling watches, and enthusiasts go gaga over this rare B01 Chronograph 46 limited edition timepiece. $11,750 at Breitling, 216 N. Rodeo Dr., Beverly Hills, breitling.com
● Any L.A. fashion maven worth her weight in gold will covet designer Irene Neuwirth’s one-of-a-kind, hand-carved pink tourmaline and spinel ring. Double Tropical Flower ring, $11,740 at Irene Neuwirth, 8458 Melrose Pl., West Hollywood, ireneneuwirth.com
● Designer Liseanne Frankfurt’s vibrant lapis hearts interspersed with 18-karat yellow gold on violet silk thread will make your loved one’s heart melt. Lapis necklace, $2,250 at LFrank Jewelry, 226 Main St., Venice, lfrankjewelry.com
● The new Ti any Lock allgender bracelet is designed to honor that special bond between you and another.
Ti any Lock bangle, from $6,800 at Ti any & Co., 210 N. Rodeo Dr., Beverly Hills, ti any.com
● A brilliant study in contrasts, these gold and onyx hoops are a mesmerizing combination of luxe, punk rock, and art deco. Clash de Cartier hoop earrings, $17,800 at Cartier, 411 N. Rodeo Dr., Beverly Hills, cartier.com
● Inspired by ancient artifacts, these chic, lightweight earrings are handcrafted from natural pine and organic stones at Sophie Monet’s Venice studio. Relic earrings, $213 at sophiemonetjewelry.com
● This Seiko diver’s watch looks like the 1965 62MAS original, but it’s sleeker, thinner, and accented with a special-edition aquatic hue. Seiko Prospex Diver’s Modern Re-Interpretation Save the Ocean SPB297, $1,250, at feldmarwatch.com
Looking for holiday gifts that will WOW your friends and family? Well Retro has a writing instrument for everyone on your list. Choose from vibrant colors, textured metals, the simple and sophisticated or a thematic design that reflects their personality. Each pen is loaded with the smoothest flowing ink refill they will love. Pick up Retros for everyone on your list this holiday season because Life is too short to carry an Ugly Pen!® To find a dealer visit Retro51.com.
Great for corporate gifts too! Retro51 also offers promotional designs for businesses. Contact us at sales@retro51.com to learn more.
Chromatic
Nikola Tesla
Frederick Douglass
Hawthorne
Buzz
Harriet Tubman
Stealth
Classic Lacquers
● Dollar Shave Club’s racy new razor features two separate heads: one to trim facial fuzz and another for the hair down there. Double Header electric trimmer, $70 at dollarshaveclub.com
● Stylist Mara Roszak is famous for dressing the locks of stars like Emma Stone and Brie Larson. Her lightweight hair oil is made from natural extracts. Santa Lucia styling oil, $45 at rozhair.com
● Relevant—a new line from Nyakio Grieco, cofounder of BIPOC-supporting e-commerce site Thirteen Lune—has drawn raves for its antioxidant-rich daily moisturizer, designed for a multitude of skin tones and types. Relevant One & Done Everyday Cream, $38 at thirteenlune.com
● Merit Beauty’s Base Set features all the hydrating and plumping complexion essentials that have made the L.A.-based brand a hometown favorite. $136 meritbeauty.com
● Aesthetician Jordan LaFragola, who gives aromatherapy facials in a Hollywood bungalow once owned by Charlie Chaplin, created this plant-based, ultrahydrating face oil in a beautiful apothecary-style bottle. $120 at floramirabilis.com
● Acclaimed Parisian perfumer
Ex Nihilo teamed up with L.A. artist Amanda Charchian to create this deep, musky fragrance. Idle Hour, $325 at Ex Nihilo Paris, 926 N. Sycamore Ave., Ste. 103, Hollywood, ex-nihilo-paris.com
● This 21-color palette from makeup artist Manny Mua features a technicolor range of new and fan-favorite shadows for queens of every gender. Life’s a Drag Facelift, $48 at lunarbeauty.com
at Steamers,
● These steam-activated cakes of essential oils from the zero-waste brand Parrotfish are like bath bombs for the shower set. Chamomile Blossom Shower Steamers, $30 at shopparrotfish.com
FOR EVERY RECIPIENT, A UNIQUE GIFT AWAITS.
The Perfect Gift
Celebrate the holidays with comfy BOBS® footwear and apparel – a great gift that keeps giving (every purchase you make helps and saves shelter pets)!
Skechers.com
More Than A Gift! The World’s Greatest Memorabilia ®
Upper Deck offers a variety of exclusive sports memorabilia featuring past legends, current superstars, and up-and-coming phenoms. The perfect gift this holiday season!
upperdeckstore.com
This pen is buzz-worthy with its sweet honeycomb texture, plus a donation helps save the bees!
Retro51.com
The perfect gifts for everyone
Fashion, jewelry, home goods, and more. Find artfully curated items made by indie and local brands at treehaus. treehausLA.com
● For sleepovers, travels, or everyday kickbacks, this pink convertible–shaped air mattress from Venice-based favorite Funboy would make even Barbie jealous. Pink Convertible Kids Sleepover air mattress, $79 at funboy.com.
● With free delivery anywhere in L.A., Adventuretown
Toy Emporium will bring artful games from around the world directly to your door, including this awardwinning PIKS beechwood and silicone building block kit from France. PIKS 24-piece play set, $37 at adventuretowntoys.com
● Skechers’s neon high-top sneakers with built-in USB port deliver a light show set to the rhythm of your special little one’s playlist. S-Lights Remix, $75 at skechers.com
● The Beverly Hills Hotel collaborated with Romaniaborn, California-raised artist Alexandra Nechita and Shhh Silk on these comfy pajamas covered in colorful palms. The Beverly Hills Hotel x Shhh Silk pajamas, $285 at the Beverly Hills Hotel, 9641 Sunset Blvd., Beverly Hills, dorchestercollection.com
● Explore L.A. with this rhyming picture book filled with playful illustrations of the city’s most iconic landmarks. Los Angeles, Baby!, $15 at Diesel, a Bookstore, 225 26th St., Ste. 33, Santa Monica, and chroniclebooks.com
● The stylish Chipmunk Plus Kids scooter features a removable folding seat and light-up wheels that are both functional and fun. Retrospec Chipmunk Plus Kids kick scooter, $50 at retrospec.com
● This rainbow-hued b-ball from the BIPOC- and femaleowned brand Chance is made of recycled materials and looks great on or o the court. Tian basketball, $30 at wearechance.com
● Local design studio
Commune partnered with L.A. textile brand Studio
Ford on this luxurious reversible napping nest for pampered pups. Studio
Ford for Commune dog bed, from $375 at the Great Commune Shop Experiment, 2502 W. 7th St., Westlake, communedesign.com
Striking Owl Clock with elegant Roman numerals on the dial. An artistic piece of home décor, the clock also tells time accurately with a battery powered quartz movement.
$54 (626) 405-2142 thehuntingtonstore.org
Looking for a unique holiday gift?
Look no further. The museums of Southern California have it all.
Inspired by Monet’s garden at Giverny, the travel-friendly and reversable Jardin De Giverny Jacket is made from Argentinian textiles and is a true statement piece. $310 (619) 696-1971 SDMArt.org/store
Square Kazumasa Ogawa Tree Paeony Silk Scarf This elegant 100% silk 35-inch scarf features the photograph Tree Paeony by Kazumasa Ogawa, one of the most important early photographers in Japan.
$89 shop.getty.edu
SHORTLY AFTER I MOVED TO Los Angeles from New York in the sum mer of 1996, I learned a few crucial things: that pale people of Irish descent should not drive convertibles, that all the work I’d done on the plays of Chekhov and Ibsen in my scene study class in the windowless yet magical rehearsal room in Wynn Handman’s acting class in the Carnegie Hall building on 57th Street was not going to help me get a job on Beverly Hills, 90210, and that—due to it never having occurred to me that it might be neces sary to update them—I had I don’t remember thinking about my breasts very much—or at all—when I lived in New York. I couldn’t tell you what bras I had or even where I got them (Century 21 maybe? Loehmann’s?). Kathy, my dear friend and roommate back in Brooklyn, far more well endowed than I, went annually to a spe cial bra place in the East 30s in Manhattan where a professional bra lady would stand behind her in the full-length mirror, adjusting straps and measuring her various dimensions in order to recommend the exact right bra for her, and I remember thinking, who has the time for such a thing? You had to make an actual appointment. That’s the only New York boobs memory I can conjure—I thought so little about them there that the only story I have is about someone else’s.
But after just a few weeks in Los Angeles, I spoke fluent Wonderbra, and had purchased my first pair of the rubbery boob blobs no one has ever called any thing besides chicken cutlets. These acquisitions didn’t seem strange to me at the time; they seemed manda tory, or at least highly recommended. Every audition room I entered was filled with actresses with bigger boobs than mine. I remember thinking I’d better catch up. It felt like everyone knew what sort of boobs they were supposed to have, and, weirdly, they also had them. Today, we speak of body positivity, and there is at least an attempt at representing a wider variety of shapes and sizes on-screen, but the boob fashion of the 1990s in Los Angeles seemed to offer actresses only two choices: get them surgically augmented or buy a bra that made it look like you had. Now, I was mainly auditioning for television, and television in the ’90s was largely comprised of half-hour sitcoms, and the most popular sitcom was Friends. The friends themselves were all stunning and boobtastic, and every other half-hour TV show was trying to mimic their look and their success. Fancy Movie Lady actors may have been going to di erent auditions with subtler expectations in terms of silhouette. Although I do remember a story going around back then about Frances McDormand pulling her chicken cutlets out at a meeting and tossing them on the table, which was an undeniably bold move. But it also told me that even a vanguard like her had at least one day of feeling ’90s boobs pressure.
My roommate at the time was Connie Britton. We met in the windowless yet magical Chekhov/Ibsen act ing class that wasn’t going to get me cast on 90210,
and while she’d eventually become a lifelong friend, we didn’t know each other that well yet. We were among the hordes who came from New York every pilot season. Who knew what would happen? We might get cast in something; we might run out of money and go back to New York and start auditioning while waitressing again like we’d seen happen to so many of our friends.
I was driving around town in a rented red Volkswagen Cabriolet with the top down, learning how quickly I sunburned , and Connie had borrowed a vintage gray Volvo with no air-conditioning from a place called Rent-A-Wreck. We bought our first cell phones together and giggled every time we called each other because—besides our agents—we were pretty much the only people we knew in L.A., and our New York friends still used the pay phone. These mobiles were ugly and gray and heavy, and the only buttons on them were numbers. Bluetooth, GPS, cars with navigational systems, did not yet exist, so to find out where you were going, you had to pull over on the shoulder of one of L.A.’s four-lane freeways and manually thumb through the 2,000-page, spiral-bound paper map that was The Thomas Guide. You checked your computer—if you even had one—maybe once at the end of the day and sat staring at it, listening to what felt like an hour and a half of robot static sounds, before the guy finally said, “You’ve got mail.” You were lucky if you had a fax machine through which you could print out your audition sides, the pages containing only the scenes in which your character appears, but if you needed to read a whole script, you had to drive to your agent’s o ce and pick it up from the bin of envelopes outside the door of the reception area. You knew you were getting somewhere when (if) the agency started messengering things to you rather than have you go to them. Graduating to messenger-level importance was the day we all were hoping for.
Connie and I were staying for free in the house of a friend of hers who was getting a divorce. The friend who’d offered us the house knew we were staying there, but her recently divorced husband did not, so sometimes we’d get a panicked call that the ex was in the
neighborhood and we’d have to rush to turn out all the lights and run and hide in the back of the house. We found this hilarious. The house was empty except for two beds and, I think, one chair and a table we’d sort of move from room to room when needed. There was maybe one pan in the kitchen, and the only thing I remember making in it was Rice Krispies Treats, which we’d eat with our hands, too ambitious and
jeans whose low-rise waistband started maybe a millimeter above the butt crack, and the monthly ritual of getting Brazilian bikini waxes at a salon called Pink Cheeks.
Pink Cheeks was a waxing place on Ventura Boulevard in the Valley rumored to be the top choice of strippers and Playboy Bunnies, which was, I guess, endorsement enough for everyone. The interior of Pink Cheeks was—no surprise—pink. The chairs were pink velvet, and there were Hershey’s Kisses in pink candy dishes, and everything else in the room was pink and flu y or lacy or glittery or all of those things. You felt like you were in the bedroom of a 16- year-old aspiring pageant queen who’d swapped her Wham! posters for cotton-candycolored silk thongs hung on the wall available for purchase. Cindy ran the place, and she was bubbly and huggy and made you feel like you’d stopped by to be served freshly baked cookies and not to pay money to scream out in pain as the most sensitive area on your body was slathered in hot wax and stripped bare.
dedicated to our craft, I suppose, to waste even a moment wondering why we had no plates. That was what we considered . . . breakfast, I guess?
There was a Subway sandwich shop at the bottom of the street, and we’d walk down there most days and split a tuna sub for lunch and then eat chips and salsa and margaritas at the nearby restaurant Mexicali for dinner, and I was somehow the thinnest I’d ever been. Maybe the Subway tuna salad that would turn out to be the subject of scandal years later, accused of being a “mixture of various concoctions that do not constitute tuna” was to thank. Anyway, Michael Pollan will probably not be writing the foreword to my book Scientifically Proven Hollywood Miracle Diet when I publish it, but it’ll make millions, I tell you. Millions!
There were other questionable trends that I also didn’t question at the time: the need for all miniskirts to be at Calista Flockhart–in– Ally McBeal shortness levels, crop tops paired with
Months after we arrived, Connie and I began to acquire mature things like plates and chairs, and each of us booked a few jobs and found one or two more people we could call from our mobile gray bricks. Eventually, I got a guest spot on the sitcom 3rd Rock from the Sun with John Lithgow and Jane Curtin (giggly student); a recurring part on the Thursday night lead-in to Friends, Caroline in the City (kooky airhead); and a small part in a movie starring Patricia Arquette, Ewan McGregor, and Josh Brolin, a thriller called Nightwatch (best friend who is also a priest). It occurs to me now that the work I got this first year in Los Angeles was a pretty good indicator of what was to come: mostly comedic roles, an occasional quirky character part, dramatic work once in a while. Connie and I even graduated from being illegal squatters to being actual apartment renters. I got a little onebedroom on the top floor of a duplex in a building on Orange Street, and I thought, for a first-year Californian, how auspicious to be welcomed by citrus. I hired a personal trainer three times a week and started going to spinning classes taught by a woman named
“Everyone knew what sort of boobs they were supposed to have and had them.”
Kelly Rockstar who had zero percent body fat and—you guessed it—very large breasts.
I upgraded myself from the Rice Krispies Treats diet too, and I started getting my food delivered in prepor tioned boxes left on my doorstep every night by a company promising they o ered the perfect ratio of fats to carbs to make my body “work more effi ciently.” Most of the actors I knew at the time were eating their food out of these same boxes. These boxes consisted of a bland protein and a bland vegetable and a tiny bland carb, and pretty much everyone ordered them from the same company that was whatever one you read the Friends were currently get ting theirs from in the latest issue of InStyle magazine. Everyone brought their boxes with them everywhere, transporting them in cooler bags to set, or sometimes even bringing them to dinner parties, and I once went on a date with an actor who brought his box to the restaurant and asked the waiter to heat it up for him and put it on a plate as if he had ordered it there. “What?” he said in response to what must have been a strange look on my face. “Everyone I know does it.”
Over time, I didn’t stop to ask myself questions like was it OK to bring your own food to a restaurant or why was I on this diet when I was already pretty thin or was Kelly Rockstar her real name or how was it possible to have zero percent body fat but also have breasts that big.
Then, one day, I got my first boob job. Or rather, my boob blobs got a job. It was a small part in a film for which I had my fake large chicken cutlets to thank. The shoot was out of town, and even though I only had one day of work, they flew me first-class and put me up at the nicest hotel I’d ever stayed in. I’d never been on location before. That night, I was so nervous, I hardly slept. The next morning, in the makeup chair, I became even more flustered when the makeup artist acci dentally used a faulty eyelash curler that chopped a chunk of lashes o my eye—it was not an auspicious start to the day. Worse, after I’d just been told I had plenty of time to get ready, a redfaced assistant director, whose job (among many other things) it is to keep the day running on schedule, appeared
in the door of the trailer to say that, no, actually, they were ready for a blocking rehearsal, which is where the director and actors work out where we’ll be sit ting or standing or crossing in a scene so the director of photography and his crew know how to light it—and they were ready for me NOW.
My wardrobe for the day con sisted solely of a (very stu ed) bra and underwear, and I’d been given a thick
terry-cloth bathrobe to use as a coverup. I’d hardly ever been on a movie set, let alone been the day player who might be holding things up on one, so I took o running, barefoot, bath robe flapping open behind me. This meant that, while I arrived on set as quickly as I could, I was sweating and the bottoms of my feet were black from the sidewalk, and let’s not forget the eyelash amputation I’d recently
endured. Heart pounding, I tried to clear my head and focus on rehearsing the scene.
Blocking and rehearsing a scene with two people in bed is like trying to make Twister-type contortions look sexy and natural while also pretending you feel great about doing it. It’s awkward. Tilt your face two inches this way, and you’re blocking your co- star’s light; rotate your shoulders two inches that way, and the cameraman can’t see your face. Rehearsing these moves is technical but also crazily intimate. Have you ever been sitting in a packed theater and dropped something and tried to find it beneath the chair of the stranger next to you while smiling and apologizing? Your head is way too near their lap, but you’re trying your best to be polite and act like it’s normal? Something like that. Plus, only very recently did anyone think it might be a good idea to employ a third party whose job it is to take some of this head-in-astranger’s-lap awkwardness away by inventing the job of intimacy coordinator. Before then, someone who may or may not have had any experience in such scenes—maybe someone from the wardrobe department—would hover nearby until the director called cut, and then she’d scurry over to cover you with a sheet or fling a bathrobe at you. I could never ever find the sleeves in these bathrobes and rooting around to find them made me panic, which ensured I couldn’t find them for even longer.
Recently, I had a scripted kiss with Josh Duhamel’s character on an episode of Mighty Ducks, and I had my first encounter with an intimacy coordinator. It’s a family show, and our kiss was described as brief, we were standing up fully clothed, and there wasn’t much more to it. But I felt kind of guilty that someone had been hired to help coordinate two adults in their 50s share a tongueless peck. So I asked the coordinator what her role on other shows had been, hoping I’d find a problem I needed her expert help in solving. “I’m here to make you comfortable and ensure there is consent.” I cannot tell you how hard I had to bite back my nervous impulse to make a joke. “Consent?
1
2
Have you seen Josh Duhamel? I’d happily . . .” No, no, no, we don’t say flippant things in delicate situations, my brain told me just in time. So instead I said nothing and nodded my head a few times and wandered away and thus ended the coordination of my intimacy.
2.
Now, maybe actresses like Barkina Plumefessen enjoy strutting around all day, ignoring the bathrobe entirely and chatting with everyone, legs akimbo, like they’re on a beach in Ibiza. But in my experience, no matter who you are, these situations are at least mildly awkward and can be confusing to the body. Sometimes you may start to think you are genuinely attracted to your scene partner, and sometimes you are, and maybe you even kissed them already the night before outside the RitzCarlton, but here, in the scene, you have to pretend it’s happening for the first time. This di culty distinguishing reality from pretend has resulted in some good relationships but many more that were a bad idea and is where the term “showmance” was born. It’s a romance born from the intensity and confusion that can occur when
you’re pretending to be other people. Sometimes you and your costar will end up together, but it’s just as likely that when you get back home to reality, you’ll wonder what you possibly could have seen in each other. This confusion can be even more, er, apparent for men. One male actor I worked with said to me, before a sexy scene, “I apologize if I do, and I apologize if I don’t.” Ballsy!
Back on set that day after my scene partner and I and the director had choreographed the scene and rehearsed it a few times, and I had twisted myself into various pretzel shapes for the camera while trying to look cool doing it, the director told everyone to take a short break and he pulled me aside. He smiled and said he was genuinely thrilled to have me in the part, apologized for the morning’s rush, and told me the shot he was trying to get was turning out to be more of a puzzle than he’d planned, and he wasn’t getting the angle he needed, and he was terribly sorry to ask me this at the last minute, but would I mind taking my bra o in the scene?
I certainly don’t wish this upon either of us, Reader, but should we ever get into a fender bender together, I’m a great person to have nearby. In the face of any sort of surprise or trauma, I become very, very calm. This is helpful in that I’m not going to freak out and make an already stressful situation worse, but I’m not sure it’s a response
“My wardrobe consisted solely of a (very stuffed) bra and underwear, and I’d been given a thick terry-cloth bathrobe to use as a cover-up.”
that o ers a ton of options to the person (me) who is responding to the stress/trauma. That day, I sort of went numb and rather than take a moment to consider how his request made me feel, I remember it being very important to me to act really calm because I wanted to seem professional and also didn’t want to hurt the director’s feelings. I wish I could tell you I said, Give me a moment to think about it. I wish I could tell you I said, I think we should get my manager or agent on the phone. Or even said, Hell no, Dude, this is why lawyers spend months contractually defining every single body part that will or won’t be seen, down to the very last detail of whatever the legal language is for “side boob.” I wish the next part of the story was about the time I pulled my cutlets out and tossed them boldly on the floor, McDormand-like. I wish I could tell you that was the day I realized that even though I’d only been in L.A. for a short time, I suddenly became aware of how narrow the definition of what I was expected to look like had become, and that it occurred to me in that moment that if actor, stripper, and Playboy Bunny were di erent jobs, why were we all supposed to have the same body type? I wish I could tell you that I recognized this situation as inappropriate, a violation of an agreement we’d already spent weeks negotiating.
But I was new. I was intimidated. I was hungry, and I was hustling. Also, I was practical. I had done what I was comfortable doing in pursuit of a job,
Are you ready to plan your holiday escape? Here are a few destinations to inspire that perfect getaway
There’s something magical about Tulum. Ancient ruins, cenotes, jungles… treasures are just waiting to be discovered within the Yucatan Peninsula. There, stretches of white beach whisper, “inspiration.” Making such an escape possible: Conrad Tulum Riviera Maya.
Relaxation kicks in upon arrival at the Cancun International Airport with the resort’s luxury transportation. Knowing everything’s taken care of, slip into vacation mode, gazing at exotic Mexican Riviera vistas on the leisurely ride to Tulum.
Set within a natural sanctuary on a secluded bay, Conrad Tulum Riviera Maya welcomes with eco-chic rooms and suites, each replete with balconies and plunge pools for marveling over the views. Unwind from travel by diving into one of the five resort pools, or at Conrad Spa Tulum to be guided through a purifying gratitude ceremony by the in-house shaman.
Up next, savoring cuisine at one of Conrad’s 11 restaurants and bars. Head to Kengai for its Izakaya fare. Craving Sushi? Ukai’s sustainable menu showcases handcrafted, ocean-conscious sushi. Maratea serves up the Mediterranean flavors of Spain, North Africa, Greece
by Bekah Wright
and Turkey. Then there’s Autor, where the chef-in-residence curates a sense of place via guests’ taste buds.
An ideal place to start the day— Zamá, or “City of Dawn,” Tulum’s famed Mayan ruins. Within these ancient walls can be found the Temple of Frescoes, Temple of the Descending God and Pyramid El Castillo. Follow-up with a visit to Sian Ka’an Biosphere Reserve, aptly known as the “Gate of Heaven.” This UNESCO World Heritage Site is a wonderland that's lush with mangroves, tropical forests and a barrier reef. Feel the urge to go for a swim? A snorkeling sojourn is called for in the area’s Gran Cenote and Cenote Dos Ojos. Throughout history, the Mayans have considered these water-filled limestone sinkhole/ caves to be the entrance to Xibalba, or the underworld.
Feeling mournful about saying goodbye? No need to despair. Conrad Tulum Riviera Maya will always be waiting with its restaurants, spa, and unforgettable adventures. What those white sand beaches whisper upon one’s return? “Welcome back. Welcome home.” Carretera Cancun Tulum 307 Tulkal Chemuyil, Tulum Quintana Roo, Mexico, 77774 1-888-639-1050
Experience the luxury of space with an enchanting sanctuary on a secluded, palm fringed bay. conradhotels.com/tulum
The Resort at Pelican Hill combines awe-inspiring holiday grandeur with magical experiences that celebrate the best of the season.
The centerpiece of Pelican Hill’s December calendar is a limited series of Holiday High Teas & Songs of the Season which combines three lavish courses of house-made delights, specialty teas and prestige Telmont champagne with some of the brightest talents in American opera as they perform a classic repertoire of holiday songs. Other festivities include Sparkling Princess Tea & Storytime and Holiday Painting & Prosecco along with unique classes and workshops for guests of all ages.
Now – January 15, 2023, Mon – Fri, 11 a.m. – 7 p.m. | Sat – Sun, 11 a.m. – 8 p.m. JAPAN HOUSE Los Angeles
Renowned Japanese bamboo artist Tanabe Chikuunsai IV constructed a 70-foot long immersive installation using 15,000 bamboo strips – the longest work to date. Visitors can engage with the dramatic soaring bamboo art form, viewing it from multiple angles as it twists and winds across the gallery at JAPAN HOUSE Los Angeles. Free admission.
For more information visit JapanHouseLA.com
December 1 - 31
Nightly 5 p.m. | 6 p.m. | 7 p.m. | 8 p.m. | 9 p.m.
Experience a magical holiday show as 18 million hues of lights illuminate the night and synchronize to festive tunes. SPARKLE DTLA at The Bloc will take you through an unforgettable nighttime journey that includes one of LA’s largest multi-colored interactive holiday displays. Capture your perfect photo-op moments at this ultimate holiday experience.
For more information visit theblocla.com
December 21, 7 p.m. Virtual community tasting on Zoom with wine delivered to your address
STARS of France combines entertainment and education with a deep dive on the classic wines of France. Enjoy tasting top wine efforts and an interactive zoom audience. Your choice of a tasting flight kit or bottle kit delivered to your door! 100% of auction proceeds benefit Children’s Hospital Los Angeles.
For tickets or more information visit STARSofWine.com
January 16, 2023, 11 a.m. – 4 p.m.
Join L.A. Works for Los Angeles’ largest volunteer event celebrating the life and legacy of Dr. King! The event focuses on climate change and the impact of environmental racism on our community. Events feature:
• Food Festival & Nonprofit Fair: A sampling of sustainable food at booths hosted by local restaurants + learning the impact of climate change on Black, Brown, and Indigenous communities.
• Volunteer Activities: A series of ecoaction stations to create environmentally friendly projects and assemble vegan meals for Angelenos in need.
For more information visit laworks.com/mlk
ON MAY 30, 1897 , the first gasoline-powered motor vehicle in Los Angeles sputtered to life. Today, there are upward of 6 million autos registered in Los Angeles County. In the intervening 125 years, L.A. has come to define cars, and be defined by them, more than any other city. In this special section devoted to all things auto, we analyze how what you drive does, and doesn’t, define you; survey the sexiest new electrics, and have some fun, fun, fun with L.A. car songs and our exclusive survey of censored vanity plates. Buckle up!
EDITED BY MICHAEL WALKER
BY NEIL JAMIESON
IN L.A., YOU ARE WHAT YOU DRIVE. OR ARE YOU? IN THIS CAR-CRAZY TOWN, YOUR RIDE CAN BE A ROLLING STATUS PROXY OR A SHREWD MASQUERADE FOR FAKING IT TILL YOU MAKE IT. IT ALL DEPENDS ON WHICH LANE YOU CHOOSE
BY TARA WEINGARTEN
NE OF MY INDELIBLE Los Angeles car experiences happened years ago at what was then the tragically hip Katsuya on La Cienega. I was test-driving a $325,000 citronhued Lamborghini Huracán for a magazine review. I pulled up to the valet station, flipped open the groovy scissor doors, and tried to step out of the insanely squat Italian bull without pulling a Hollywood slip in front of a throng of gawkers. Mission accomplished.
And then, it happened.
“Oh, gaw, what a waste!” said the stupefyingly handsome actor, I mean valet, who, with a hollow stare, held out his hand to take the keys. “Excuse me?” I asked, hoping he was referring to something having nothing to do with me. But no. He actually was commenting, to no one in particular,
LATE-MIDDLE-AGE, aviators, Rag & Bone jeans meant for someone half his age. Vrooms up to the Spago valet in a $400,000 supercar convinced that women passersby are awed but they instead roll eyes in disgust/pity. Mostly pity.
that I, the person exiting his fantasy car, didn’t at all match his notion of who owns such a car. Sadly for him, I was not Gigi Hadid, who in this scenario would likely exit the car bikini clad. I was poking a giant hole in his arrested teenage supercar phantasm, not to mention having the nerve to do so while fully dressed.
In that moment, I understood an immutable fact of L.A. car culture: In this town, you really are what you drive. But also, not. The funny thing is, the fine-young-actor-I-meanvalet was spot on. I didn’t own that sunshine-yellow Lambo, and I’m likely not the kind of person the typical Angeleno expects to see alighting from one. Instead, many of us would conjure an aging tech billionairelothario trolling Rodeo Drive for a delectable sugar baby. Or maybe his 21-year-old scion who just picked up his rosso mars Lambo at the O’Gara Coach company in Beverly Hills as a birthday gift from dad. But if we’re talking about the superficial act of judging one by the car he or she drives, well, then, where better than in extroverted, bling-flexing, autoentrenched Los Angeles? Here, more than anywhere else on Earth, what you drive tells us all a lot about you. At least until it doesn’t.
“The thing about car culture in L.A. is, there’s no real way to opt out,” says Dan Neil, the Pulitzer Prize-winning former Los Angeles Times automotive critic, now a columnist for the Wall Street Journal.
“For all the bitching and moaning about tra c, everyone is in 100 percent. It’s just like fashion. You have to pick something out of your closet each day to cover your naked ass. And when you buy a car, you have to choose something, and it’s likely going to say at least something about you.”
In a town whose chief industry is the creation of illusion, and where the truth, as the comedy legend Larry Gelbart once noted, is “as stretchable as a limo,” what a vehicle says about you can be a sincere expression of your taste or several miles distant from who you actually are and what station you occupy. L.A. has led the democratization of the luxury-car segment partly because the pressure to keep up appearances here is such that leasing a car you can’t possibly a ord to buy confers upon an aspirant the sheen of legitimacy—you can fake it pretty much forever even if your chances of making at are essentially nil.
“I was in a Mercedes dealership once, and I was speaking with one of the sales guys,” says Angus MacKenzie, the former longtime editor of MotorTrend. “He told me a lady had come in that afternoon and wanted to lease a Mercedes, any Mercedes. Didn’t matter which one. She told him, ‘I’ve got exactly $370 left every month after I pay my rent and other expenses. What can I get?’ The guy said he worked the numbers 15 di erent ways and got her into
TOTAL CAR guy (even if female). Brand drips with totemic male power and status. Jerry Seinfeld-style fanatics fill hangers at Santa Monica airport with choice models. Adding sporty SUVs won over L.A. women, from Hollywood pros (Macan compact SUV) to multimillionaire Holmby Hills realtors-tothe-stars (Cayenne S Turbo).
a brand-new Mercedes for $369 a month. That’s a very L.A. transaction—she was broke but had to spend every cent she had left to look like she had it all together and could play in the big kids’ pool.”
Just how pervasive is L.A.’s car-asstatus-signifier obsession?
Several years ago, a 12-year-old wrote Jay Leno a letter explaining he had told his classmates that Jay was his uncle and regularly drove the kid around town in Leno’s green Lamborghini Countach. “So I called the kid,” Leno told me. “ ‘First o ,’ ” I said, “ ‘You are a liar. I’m not your uncle. And, second, put your parents on the phone.’ I asked if it was OK if I took the kid to school in the Lamborghini. They said, ‘Sure.’ So we pull up to the school, all the kids gather around, and the kid is in heaven. Then he gets out of the car and waves, ‘Bye, Uncle Jay!’ That kid is probably in prison now.”
MERCEDES-BENZ GLC 1.0
LEXUS RX 350 1.0
MERCEDES-BENZ GLE 0.8 BMW X3 0.8
MERCEDES-BENZ C-CLASS 0.7 BMW X5 0.6
AUDI Q5 0.6
LEXUS ES 300H 0.5
MERCEDES-BENZ GLB 0.4
MERCEDES-BENZ S-CLASS 0.4
Stewart Reed, chairman of the Transportation Design department at ArtCenter College of Design in Pasadena—alumni include some of the top automotive designers in the world—says he’s endlessly amazed by the lengths Angelenos will go to retrofit status gimcrackery onto their rides even when it renders them nearly unroadworthy. Recently, Stewart saw a Hummer H2 SUV
MERCEDES-BENZ C-CLASS 1.2
TESLA MODEL 3 1.1
MERCEDES-BENZ GLC 0.8 BMW 3 SERIES 0.7
MERCEDES-BENZ E-CLASS 0.6
LEXUS RX 350 0.6 BMW X3 0.6
MERCEDES-BENZ GLE 0.5
INFINITI Q50 0.5
AUDI Q5 0.5
tricked out with super-low-profile tires meant for a high-performance Mercedes sedan. “This guy hit a pothole and blew out his tire,” Reed says. “I had to laugh.”
Like the Angelenos who drive them, cars represent a spectrum of personality types that often are extensions of those of their owners. “If it was just about transportation, we’d all be driving the same gray box on wheels, and we aren’t,” MacKenzie says. “Whether consciously or not, we are attracted to the cars that say something about us. Something sparks and says, ‘That’s me!’”
Volvo, the Swedish automaker of aggressively practical and practically bulletproof vehicles, attracts a demographic in L.A. for which the make’s anti-status virtue signaling perversely creates a status all its own. “It’s so anti-stylish that it has become stylish,” acknowledges Jill Sandin, an L.A.-based
THE WRANGLER has long been identified as a gay icon, especially among women. (Jezebel awarded Wrangler third place, behind Subaru’s Forester and Outback, in its survey of Top 10 lesbian rides.) Women make up around 30 percent of Wrangler’s sales, and Jeep owner FCA promotes the brand with lifestyle-specific marketing.
CAPRICORNS WHO want a car to love that loves them back. Strong appeal among L.A. ethnic and racial cohorts: Asian, Black, Hispanic. Has few of the status hangups and none of the dark baggage of German luxury brands. Got a foothold in Hollywood in the ‘90s among Jewish execs as an alternative to Mercedes and never looked back.
TECHNOCRATS THAT manupulate the gears of power in PR and enterainment law. Severe styling and tech-saturated cabins on A7 model appeal to pros whose jobs are to displense with bullshit. A4 is L.A.’s now-and-forever ride for beleagured show biz PRs who need to be presentable at valet but not show up client’s Land Rover.
PR executive in the hospitality industry and a lifetime Volvo owner who currently owns three. There was an aberrational blip between Volvos when Sandin got herself a MercedesBenz SUV. When the lease was up, she gave it back. “I felt like such an impostor in that thing,” Sandin laments. “So what does the Volvo say about me? I think of it as a left-wing smarty-pants car. It speaks to who I am.”
The Toyota Prius, the first massmarketed hybrid, was, upon its debut in 1997, the “It” car of progressive Hollywood until Tesla debuted its Model S—everyone from Steven Spielberg to Kirsten Dunst drove
one. Beyond its green bona fides, though, there didn’t seem too much to recommend the Prius from a style or performance standpoint—one auto expert who begged not to be identified told me, “the Prius is a car for people who don’t really like cars.” But a decade ago, you would, in the course of daily driving, encounter multiple Priuses across L.A., each of which seemed to sport an Obama bumper sticker with the word “hope” in all caps. (I used to joke that Toyota should have sold an Obama Package alongside its optional Cold Weather Package.) Thus did the Prius become a rolling campaign proxy not only
for Obama but for lefty politics and policies, to the chagrin of those who drove the make and were now assumed to be woke progressives, whether they were or not.
So what would be today’s Prius counterpoint? Something Americanmade certainly, perhaps General Motors’s Corvette, which has been in continuous production since 1953 and whose adherents include our 77-year-old president, who in October pitted his personal ’67 Corvette against a 2015 Stingray owned by Michael Powell, son of the late U.S. secretary of state, on an episode of Jay Leno’s Garage. (Despite
SHE DRIVES AT DAWN IN a three-row minivan overflowing with her brood, en route to Le Lycée Français with a stop at Erewhon for a $17 strawberry skin smoothie sent back because it is insu ciently blended! I demand to speak to the manager!
hitting 116 miles per hour, Biden’s ’Vette never stood a chance.)
The Corvette’s aging male demographic suggests to many females a case of . . . overcompensation. This is not really fair. The all-new 2023 C8 Corvette Z06 is a beautifully balanced mid-engine beast that presents an astounding 0-to-60 mph time of 2.6 seconds. Still, who is the likely L.A. buyer of this most superlative ’Vette? “He’s got on Bermuda shorts, a Hawaiian shirt, he’s balding, has a paunch, and a set of golf clubs in the trunk, and he’s trying to recapture his youth,” says Karl Brauer, executive analyst at ISeeCars.com. “I say
to GM, ‘Stop catering to this guy!’ I really want one of these. But once I sprouted some gray hair, I couldn’t do it; I didn’t want to be seen as
CAR TROUBLE: Aftermath of a street takeover on the Sixth Street Bridge. Hatched during the COVID lockdown, these so-called sideshows are more prevalent than ever.
APPEALS TO VALUE shoppers of means, solid alternative to the German premium-car hegemony. Overall demo is younger, more culturally diverse, and likely to include those of Korean and Japanese heritage. Hyundai keeps up with the Audis and BMWs and creates its own forward-looking status legacy.
ULTIMATE DRIVING machine owners, like those of other legacy luxury brands, skew older (median age 56), wealthier (average $124,800 annual income), more settled (90 percent own homes), and male (60 percent), according to survey of 3,000 BMW owners by Hedges & Company market research firm.
THROUGHOUT Southern California, the sound of revving engines and screeching tires piercing the night has become an increasingly infuriating fact of life. Those serpentine skid marks tattooed across intersections the following morning can be traced to L.A.’s latest scourge: the street takeover. These illegal “sideshows” play out when crowdsourced participants assume control of an intersection late at night and perform stunts, burnouts,
and doughnuts, drawing cheering onlookers who stand dangerously close to the action (at least six people have been killed in connection with takeovers). Sideshows were popularized in Oakland in the 1990s. The rise of empty streets during the pandemic sparked a resurgence across L.A., including now-nightly high-speed races on Mulholland between Coldwater Canyon and Laurel Canyon that have locals on edge. The LAPD says its o cers have disrupted or interdicted 40 percent more sideshows this year than in 2021, but the spontaneity of crowdsourced events gives police little warning, and particpants quickly melt away at the fi rst sign of a response, especially when in proximity to a freeway on-ramp. If arrested, showboaters can have their cars impounded, which probably represents the only realistic deterrent. —JORDAN MULA
in the ’80s, Angelyne hijacked the ‘Vette’s testosterone messaging by famously driving a succession of hot-pink models. And it’s hard to say what motivated Joan Didion to drive a yellow 1969 Stingray at the height of her fame; it speaks, well, volumes that she traded in her ’Vette for a Volvo when she and John Dunne moved from Malibu to Brentwood.
Rolls-Royce’s wild ride—from chariot of Old Hollywood swells like Frank Sinatra and Zsa Zsa Gabor to mustard-advert punch line in the ’80s to the make’s recent, near-miraculous embrace by L.A.’s youngish actors, athletes, musicians, and influencers—is a case study in how to reboot a brand in an era when perception and reality are increasingly blurred.
By 2010, “the average age of our customer was 60,” says Rolls-Royce U.S. marketing exec Gerry Spahn, who had a hand in reimagining the brand. “There was still a lot of Grey Poupon in the company.” The fix: go after the demographic Rolls once spurned. Taking a page from another dying brand, Rolls, like Gucci, pursued arrivistes—high-profile rappers, athletes, and influencers—with aggressively updated and entirely new models whose styling read as
near parody of the classic Rolls. The sixtysomething faithful were aghast— Wayne Newton professed to hate the new look—but that was largely the point. Rolls 2.0 was a smash with newly minted nouveau riches, and sales soared. (Kylie Jenner’s 15-vehicle motor pool comprises no fewer than five Rollers, including a $300,000 Wraith with a custom pink interior.) L.A. is now Rolls-Royce’s No. 1 market.
“We’ve gone from tweed and leather elbow patches to people in their thirties and forties who are now almost exclusively new money—the musicians and sports and tech stars,”
says Spahn. “These people are not ashamed of their success—they want to celebrate it and show it o .”
Such status churn was rare in the days when television revolved around three networks and L.A. had five daily newspapers. In 1950s Los Angeles, if you had a Cadillac parked in your garage, you had arrived. Not only did the city’s white population covet the make, but so did Blacks. It was one of the few things owned by L.A’.s a uent that was enjoyed equally, regardless of race. Then, the 1960s brought sleek European and Japanese imports, commencing a white flight from American cars that, by the 1970s, had decimated Cadillac and left it teetering on insolvency.
But throughout, Blacks remained loyal to the brand and were there when its first SUV, the Escalade, rolled o the assembly line in 1998 not a minute too soon. With its aggressive styling and eye-catching stature, the Escalade became the darling of L.A. sports stars and West Coast rappers. It seemed nearly every player on the Lakers had one, or wanted one. Rappers, not known for subtlety, bought the Escalade and blinged it further with imposing chromed wheels and in-your-face colors. Cadillac shot to the top of the
TState Assembly has fi nally taken steps to stifl e the stupendous racket made by accelerating Harleys and barely street-legal supercars. Often that din is produced by aftermarket exhaust kits that push the noise generated well past the 75 decibels allowed by California law to 100 decibels or more. (For reference, a railroad locomotive horn blares at around 100 decibels.) In October, Governor Newsom signed into law AB 2496, authored by Assemblywoman Cottie Petrie-Norris . The law stipulates that
drivers ticketed for an illegally modifi ed exhaust will be required to prove they have fi xed the modifi cations within three months, or the state will have the authority to pull their vehicle registration. Currently, those ticketed are required to bring their vehicles into compliance with the state’s existing noise law but are not mandated to show proof that the o ending exhaust systems have been silenced. AB 2496 closes that loophole. Whether the law will make a signifi cant dent in the din remains to be seen —police fi rst have to pull over and cite the Thunderdome pretenders. But it’s a start. J.M.
ONE OF the oldest demographics in the industry means Caddy has to adapt or die. Just-launched Lyriq electric could be a step in the right direction. According to the brand, 68 percent of Lyric buyers are Gen X or Gen Y, or roughly mid-forties to fifties. Also, 70 percent of buyers are new to the brand. Now all they need is Matthew McConaughey as spokesman.
TESLA KNOCKED MB’s S Class from its pedestal as L.A.’s default status ride. The marque’s recent aggressive launch into premium electrics like the EQS sedan and SUV could restore its crown. More important are younger buyers with deep aspirational longing for the brand. Firsttime luxury buyers now skew 25 to 40 years old and self-idenitify as Hispanic.
WALTER WHITE’S former partners on Breaking Bad bought a Continental GT after stealing his patents. That should tell you something. Also, that Bentleys were the getaway car of choice for the Shelby family on Peaky Blinders. Yes, the demo is older, whiter, richer. But Bentleys are fast and beautiful and about marking your place in the world, especially in L.A.
“It” list. For 2023, building on the Escalade’s success, the brand is betting this demographic will embrace its gorgeous new electric SUV, the Lyriq. “[Blacks] have been Cadillac’s salvation for years,” says Neil.
And then there is Tesla, which currently fields the No. 1, No. 2, and No. 10 best-selling vehicles in California, gas or electric (the Models Y, 3, and S, respectively). Teslas are so ubiquitous on Westside thoroughfares that they comprise a virtual brand armada— and this from a company that never markets itself beyond its website and the increasingly disordered public commentary of CEO Elon Musk.
Tesla’s market share and L.A. ubiquity—an acquaintance counted 30 Teslas, parked or in motion, on a recent two-mile drive through West Hollywood—would seem unassailable. But Tesla now has the oldest lineup among electric automakers, and the styling of its models are variations on the same (also dated) silhouette. Meanwhile, an army of electric Tesla killers is marching across L.A., eager to steal the market share and cutting-edge status Tesla has owned unchallenged for a decade: Porche’s übersexy Taycan; Mercedes-Benz’s EQS, a billion-
dollar reboot of its S-Class flagship,
Hollywood’s once and now maybe future status vehicle before Tesla ate its luxury lunch; and sleek o erings from electro-newbies Lucid, Rivian, and the revamped Fisker.
“Tesla is old hat now to early adopters,” an auto industry insider told me. “Angelenos are starting to look around
“Angelenos are starting to look around for the next big thing, and it could be something like the Rivian. Some big, fuck-o electric vehicle. Elon Musk needs to come up with something very di erent to keep the interest of his current customers. A lot of people in L.A. now have a 10-year-old Tesla Model S. What are they going to buy? Another Model S? No, they’re bored.”
Rosenthal. “But I want to try someof
That describes Phil Rosenthal, creator of Everybody Loves Raymond and star of the Netflix series Somebody Feed Phil. Rosenthal was one of the first 300-some buyers to nab a Tesla Model S ten years ago. “I was that early adopter,” says Rosenthal. “But I want to try something new.” Musk’s extremist politics and fraught Twitter takeover may be giving the faithful pause, but defectors for now seem the exception. Lew Schneider drives his Tesla 3 to the set The Goldbergs, where he is a director. “For the longest time, I didn’t want to be ‘that guy’ in the Tesla, just another L.A. copycat. Now that I
have one, I’m that cool guy in a Tesla. I love my car.”
There is evidence that L.A.’s caras-status-marker could be waning, though not necessarily for reasons of egalitarianism. Precedence informs us that before he switched to the Model S that he credited with saving his life after the car was totaled in
EASTSIDE HIPSTER all about irony and cognitive dissonance. Believes in climate change yet enthusiastically drives
unrestored, hydrocarbon-spewing 1970s Coupe de Ville or Chrysler Imperial that gets seven miles per gallon. In his mind, always: Isn’t this hilarious?
a 2015 wreck, Je rey Katzenberg’s daily driver was a black Mustang (he was said to have downgraded from a stick-shift Porsche so he could field cell calls more easily.)
Lately, stupendously wealthy stars have been spotted puttering around town in prole rides like the $13,000 Scion XB (Tom Hanks); $26,000 Toyota Tacoma (Christian Bale); and $19,000 VW Jetta (Justin Timberlake). Outside the Golden Triangle, Mark Zuckerberg has turned up in a Honda Fit and Je Bezos in an Accord. What gives?
A study by Experian Automotive found that 61 percent of individuals with incomes of more than $250,000 seek out prole iron like Fords and Hondas. Another study found the Ford F-150 was the most popular vehicle in the U.S. for those earning $200,000 or more. Has Hollywood actually parked its love of flexy rides? Maybe. But it is equally plausible that L.A.’s stars aren’t, in fact, just like us and are simply acknowledging a depressing new reality: with the rise in follow-home robberies and assaults in L.A. and Beverly Hills, piloting a selfless Ford instead of a look-at-me Lambo reduces the likelihood of trouble and foils standard-issue rubberneckers to boot.
of conspicuous parking spots o the porte cochere when you arrive, thus averting a 10-minute wait clutching a fiver while it is hauled from the garage? On a recent Saturday night, my husband and I hopped in the back seat of our friend James’s new Aston Martin DBX 707. James has coveted Aston Martins ever since he saw James Bond drive a DB5 in Goldfinger when he was 15. “I used to have a Ferrari, and people were really hostile to me, thinking I was a jerk because I had this racy, loud Italian sports car,” he says. “But ever since I got my first Aston Martin, I keep getting the thumbs-up from other drivers. It’s a totally di erent reaction, and I like that. I don’t want to be thought of as a jerk.”
Our heroine’s boyfriend loves his Pontiac GTO more than her.
“I buy you cologne, you want axle grease. You say get a mechanic, I say get a shrink.”
Gratuitous mentions of Mulholland Highway, with the immortal “Move west. . . down. . .Ven-tur-a Boul-e-vard.”
Nothing but Detroit iron for Snoop: “ ’Lacs, Impalas, and Corvettes . . . My cars, they hot, my paint is wet.”
Name-checks La Brea, Schwab’s, and Crescent Heights. “He passed me at Doheny, then I started to swerve . . . Won’t come back from Dead Man’s Curve.”
the rise in follow-home robberies Hills, piloting a selfless Ford instead with a watchful captive audience yours be granted a spot in the handful
Meanwhile, only in L.A. is the valet the ultimate arbiter of whether one’s vehicle makes the cut as a status wagon or a flat tire. The judgment is swift and brutal, the gallery packed with a watchful captive audience waiting for their own wheels. Will yours be granted a spot in the handful
We arrived at swanky Capo just as Michael Keaton was exiting his new paper-plated Tesla. James’s Aston Martin would have to tap its A game if it was to garner any attention at this gathering of automotive beauties: a spanking new white Land Rover Defender and a smattering of Porsche Cayennes, an Escalade, and the requisite Mercedeses of various flavors. The question was, with only three spots out front, would the Aston be waiting there for us when we finished dinner? Also, would I relive, by proxy, my mortifying Lamborghini valet censure all those years ago at Katsuya?
After dinner, we strolled out of Capo and beheld the verdict: James’s new baby was parked directly in front of the valet stand, precisely where we left it, having never been moved.
In which Lamar dreams of power and is rewarded with a Maserati.
“Park it in front of Lueders, next to that Church’s Chicken.”
Yeah, that’ll show ’em . . .
Lana buys a truck and hits the PCH with a bartender hookup by her side. Destination?
“Sixty miles from the last place I hide.” From Norman Fucking Rockwell!, with more L.A. references than a Thomas Guide
I USED TO HAVE A FERRARI, AND PEOPLE WERE REALLY HOSTILE TO ME, THINKING I WAS A JERK BECAUSE I HAD THIS RACY, LOUD ITALIAN SPORTS CAR. BUT SINCE I GOT MY ASTON MARTIN, I KEEP GETTING THE THUMBS-UP FROM OTHER DRIVERS. I LIKE THAT. I DON’T WANT TO BE THOUGHT OF AS A JERK.”
INTRODUCED in 2016 and subjected to a crippling recall last year, the humble Bolt and its new SUV-like flanker are suddenly the bestselling non-Tesla EVs in America. The original Bolt is also the cheapest. With refreshed styling for 2022, the hatchback delivers a solid 259 miles of range and zippy performance. Looking for an a ordable electric carabout-town? Consider the Bolt. $25,600
LOOKING nearly identical to Ford’s iconic bestselling pickup, the F-150 Lightning was designed to mimic its gas-powered source material to coax F-150 loyalists across the EV divide. Still, there’s no way to attenuate the Lightning’s face-flattening torque and acceleration; the electric F-150 hits 60 mph in 4.1 seconds. Not that anyone’s complaining.
$51,974
BY MICHAEL WALKER
PORSCHE WAS caught flat-footed when Tesla cannonballed into the luxury sporting category it had owned with the iconic 911. Stuttgart’s first all-in Tesla killer bowed to raves for its cunning styling and for infusing classic Porsche performance and handling into this slinky four-door electric. It wasn’t long before the Taycan was outselling the 911. $86,700
4
HENRIK FISKER’S Karma was one of the first modern production electric cars before the former BMW designer’s Fisker Automotive went bankrupt in 2013. Now, Fisker is back with Ocean, an SUV just starting deliveries to buyers who preordered. Based in Manhattan Beach, Fisker is one of a brace of new California EV makers, including Lucid and Rivian, challenging Tesla on its home turf. $37,499
EAGER TO repent for its Dieselgate scandal, and with an eye toward zero-emission mandates worldwide, VW has spent billions reorienting its business model around EVs. The ID.4, the first o ering from its forward-leaning line of electrics, provides 200 miles-plus range, DC fastcharging capability, and a minimalist cabin with Zen-like simplicity, especially when specced in white. $37,495
6
THE LIKELY successor to Mercedes’s petrol S-Class flagship, the EQS is a cleansheet manifesto for M-B’s electric future. If the EQS is any indication, expect gobs of tech, a typically cosseting Benz interior, head-snapping acceleration and rock-steady tracking, and a cabin so completely isolated from road and wind noise you’ll think you’re piloting a Gulfstream instead of a 5,300-pound sedan. $102,310
7
THE MINI EV delivers the marque’s famously nimble handling, introduced with the 1959 petrol-powered original and refined for the brand’s 2001 relaunch under BMW’s capable patronage. The 2023 electric Mini’s snug cabin, outfitted with retro touches like toggle switches and a digititzed analog tachometer, recalls the vintage Minis that ruled Swinging London in the 1960s. $37,495
HEN A DMV CUSTOMER supposedly wanted to express his affection for his two children, Kyle and Sean, he applied for a vanity plate that read “KYLSEAN.” A sharp-eyed DMV staffer reviewing the proposed plate quickly raised an alarm. “Kill Sean!” he scrawled on the side of the applica tion. Request denied.
KYLSEAN was one of 20,000 requests for personal ized plates that the California DMV received that month, among the hundreds of thousands reviewed annually by the department. Applicants are required to fill out a form and list the personalized plate they desire, along with a brief explanation as to why they want it. Whether or not the plate sees the light of day falls to a panel of four belea guered bureaucrats, who weed through the pile and ferret out requests that are racist, tawdry, or otherwise offensive. It’s a tougher job than you might think. Ever since vanity plates were introduced in 1972, Californians have tried sneaking all manner of sly euphemisms and overt obsceni ties past the department’s guardians of civility.
Official DMV policy rejects “any personalized license plate configuration that [carries] connotations offensive to good taste and decency.” Broadly, this covers anything with sexual, racial, or profane meaning—even if it’s unin tentional. When one customer requested a plate inscribed with his last name, Moorehed, reviewers denied it for its potential profanity. Although the customer’s last name really was Moorehead, they explained, “it looks like ‘more head’’—a sexual reference.”
Helpful departmental guidelines also warn reviewers to watch out for words like “pink,” “monkey,” and “muf fin”—all euphemisms for vagina—along with their phallic counterparts like “knackers,” “anaconda,” and “nards.” Any configuration with the word “hate” gets tossed as well. Porcine references like “pig,” “swine,” or even “oink” are also verboten because they’re deemed derogatory to police. More controversially, the guidelines instruct evaluators to pass on any plate with the word “Jew” in it—indicative of the word’s function as both an identifier and pejorative. (References to Christians, Muslims, and Buddhists are alright.)
There are exceptions, however. While “box” is generally rejected as a “vagina reference,” the DMV will allow it on a plate if the customer owns “a ‘Box’ type vehicle such as a Scion or a Porsche Boxster.” Similarly, only cars built in 1969 can use the number 69 on their plates.
As one of the most diverse states in the nation, California contains an expansive lexicon of offensive, lewd, and inap propriate words and cultural references. (Californians speak at least 220 languages—that’s 220 different ways to say “poop.”) But armed with Google Translate, Wikipedia, and Urban Dictionary, the DMV’s sentries gamely manage to weed out profanity in multiple languages, coded Nazi symbolism, and obscure internet acronyms.
Los Angeles obtained thousands of rejected applica tions after an official records act request. Here are a few of the more brazen, creative, and accidentally provocative plates, complete with the applicant’s explanation and the DMV’s response.
APPLICANT EXPLANATION: In remembrance of me and my girlfriend’s anniversary. Meaning be my bae, before anyone else.
DMV COMMENTS: Bae = poop in Danish. VERDICT: No
APPLICANT EXPLANATION: Husband and wife initials and year of marriage.
DMV COMMENTS: 8 Looks like hate; JWS looks like Jews.
VERDICT: No
APPLICANT EXPLANATION: Lit is a slang term which means good, amazing, etc!
DMV COMMENTS: Lit = intoxicated, slit = rude slang for a woman or vagina. VERDICT: No
APPLICANT EXPLANATION: It has no meaning. I just want to get it because I like it. That’s it.
DMV COMMENTS: 420 = National Smoke Day; 4-20 = marijuana. VERDICT: No
APPLICANT EXPLANATION: Schlafer is German for sleeper.
DMV COMMENTS: Also means sleeper in the sense of an inactive agent or terrorist (Wikipedia).
VERDICT: No
APPLICANT EXPLANATION:
Playful joke.
DMV COMMENTS: BMW hunter—he has an Audi. So he’s hunting down BMW drivers?
VERDICT: No
APPLICANT EXPLANATION:
On my way to bang your bitch.
DMV COMMENTS: What he said.
VERDICT: No
APPLICANT EXPLANATION: Have unwavering faith (4) respect the day.
DMV COMMENTS: Who farted.
VERDICT: No
APPLICANT EXPLANATION: Celebration of my son moving out of the house.
DMV COMMENTS: Dick.
VERDICT: No
APPLICANT EXPLANATION: In support of climate change initiatives.
DMV COMMENTS: Looks like no to cooch. VERDICT: No
APPLICANT EXPLANATION:
I’m the extension of my dad. My father’s name is “Dick” and I was named after him.
DMV COMMENTS: Dick extension. Customer’s name is Brant.
VERDICT: No
APPLICANT EXPLANATION: Sad time in my life and my car is blue.
DMV COMMENTS: Blew me.
VERDICT: No
APPLICANT EXPLANATION:
I have a white cat named “Moby.” I want to name my white car after her.
DMV COMMENTS: Moby dick . . . Moby cat . . . vagina?
VERDICT: No
APPLICANT EXPLANATION: The lettering and numbers in this plate are the same as a chest my grama left me when she passed away.
DMV COMMENTS: Looks similar to a text penis.
VERDICT: No
APPLICANT EXPLANATION: Myself being a middleaged woman.
DMV COMMENTS: Hot and sexy. VERDICT: Yes
APPLICANT EXPLANATION:
Funky trumpet in the funk music genre.
DMV COMMENTS: Fuck Trump.
VERDICT: No
APPLICANT EXPLANATION: We are always getting busy in our home. I’m a single mom, work, school, band, city council meetings, sports, dr appt, etc. Getting busy!!!
DMV COMMENTS: Getting busy.
VERDICT: Yes
APPLICANT EXPLANATION: Fish ball.
DMV COMMENTS: Fish . . . Ball . . . Some sort of sexual?
VERDICT: No
APPLICANT EXPLANATION: I am a nurse anesthetist.
DMV COMMENTS: Gas passer. She passes gas (farts). VERDICT: No
APPLICANT EXPLANATION: Am a gay man who loves playing video games (Gay . . . Gaymur)
DMV COMMENTS: Looks like he’s saying “gamer” but using “gay” . . . Could be taken o ensively?
VERDICT: Yes
APPLICANT EXPLANATION: We love Palm Springs.
DMV COMMENTS: Looks like we love pussy.
VERDICT: No
APPLICANT EXPLANATION: I’m a professional fisherman and I fish for tuna all over the world.
DMV COMMENTS: I googled him. He is and he does.
VERDICT: No
APPLICANT EXPLANATION:
The rock band Tool’s second album title from 1996.
DMV COMMENTS: Custom meaning is true, but sounds like enema
VERDICT: No
APPLICANT EXPLANATION: My nickname.
DMV COMMENTS: Shiksa = noun (often derogatory, used by Jews), a non-Jewish girl, dictionary.com.
VERDICT: No
APPLICANT EXPLANATION: Saint Anne is an important historical figure, and someone who I model my life after.
DMV COMMENTS: Satan.
VERDICT: Yes
The secretly recorded tapes that blew up L.A. politics are filled with hateful smears and racial resentments. Why are old-guard Latino politicians so angry at their African American neighbors? It goes back 40 years
BY ROBERT CARTER
Today, she’s one of the most famous politicians in L.A.— and not in good way.
Martinez, of course, is the recently resigned Latina city council president who was caught on tape—along with fellow Latino council members Kevin de León and Gil Cedillo, as well as former Federation of Labor president Ron Herrera, also Latino—raging against Black politicians and others during a private, secretly recorded 2021 meeting that in October was anonymously leaked to the internet, triggering one of the biggest political scandals in recent city history. Although there were plenty of incriminating sound bites to go around— “What have any of them done for Latinos?” Herrera could be heard railing against African American activists—it was Martinez who scored the most ink with her colorful denunciations of councilman Mike Bonin. She referred on the tape to her white, gay, progressive colleague as a “little bitch,” calling his adopted Black child a “changuito,” or “little monkey.”
The backlash, no surprise, was frenzied and immediate. Martinez was pushed to resign. Ditto Herrera. For the moment, de L eón and Cedillo are still clinging to their jobs, but calls for their resignations—from no less powerful Democratic voices than President Biden and Governor Newsom—continue to grow every day. The scandal hasn’t merely scrambled L.A. politics, possibly even impacting the impending mayoral race—between an African American woman and an Italian American billionaire who has lately been suggesting that Italians are actually a sort of Latino— but it’s also trained a light on a long-simmering, historically violent racial rift that extends far beyond city limits. One that happens to be almost entirely ignored by the media.
That would be Black vs Brown.
When you peel away the headline-grabbing racial ad hominem invective being spewed in those tapes, they actually reveal an inconvenient truth behind L.A. politics. The city’s Latino population has soared to more than 50 percent in recent years, while L.A.’s African American population has dwindled to below 9 percent, less than half of what it was in the 1960s. What Martinez and the others were really talking to each other about, when they weren’t indulging in hate speech, is whether Latinos’ representation in local government has kept pace with their exploding population growth. Do Latinos have fair representation within various city departments, including—and especially—L.A.’s 15-seat city council? Are they getting as much political oxygen as, say, L.A.’s African
American residents? Or is half the city’s population still being treated as a marginalized community?
The conversations on those tapes uncork numerous simmering resentments—a belief that Latinos are indeed underrepresented; that the grievances of African Americans—specifically surrounding policing—get a lopsided amount of attention and aren’t necessarily shared by their Latino neighbors; that white progressives, who have a history of coalition building with African Americans dating back to the Tom Bradley era, have conspired to undermine Latino progress; and that the country’s current run-amok tribalism demands that everyone vote for someone who looks just like them.
“There’s a double standard when it comes to discussing race,” says Nilza Serrano, president of the Latino advocacy group Avance Democratic. “Most institutions see race relations as Black and white, and it often feels like people view all Latinos as foreigners. We’re an easy target because we’re quiet people. We work, go home, and spend time with our family. We don’t have the same energy that other communities have to protest. We have a severe problem of us being unseen and unheard, and
we have to do better. We don’t get the resources, and it’s disappointing and frustrating. And sometimes that frustration comes out in ways that aren’t positive and constructive.”
In other words, to fully translate what’s really being said on those secret recordings of the city council’s “little Latino caucus”—as Herrera at one point describes the meeting’s attendees—you have to first learn the vocabulary of Latino history in L.A. You have to go back some 40 years, to the sad, ugly, and often shockingly bloody origins of the Black vs Brown political paradigm.
RICHARD VALDEMAR, a retired 30-year veteran of the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department who served on the Federal Metropolitan Gang Task Force, grew up in Compton in the 1960s, when Blacks lined up after school and picked out the Latino kids to beat up. “It was a racial thing, Blacks and Hispanics sharing the same limited resources,” Valdemar says. “If you didn’t know how to fight, you were a perpetual victim. The first thing I learned was how to fight.”
Valdemar, a Mexican American, was a deputy sheri in Compton in the 1970s and into the 1980s, when the numbers of undocumented Mexican immigrants started to grow from a trickle to a tsunami. These were years, too, when Southern California’s economy began to shift. Its heavy industries—tire, automotive, steel—left, taking well-paid union jobs with them. They were replaced by service jobs, non-union construction, and minimum-wage factory work.
The Mexicans who arrived found jobs at the bottom rungs of this new economy. Seeking the cheapest housing, many found it in Black areas—Compton, Inglewood, SouthCentral—just as Black gangs in those neighborhoods were emerging as a powerful new force in urban life. In time, Mexican migrants would transform those areas. But for many years, they remained outnumbered and silent.
With the power and demographic relationships so tilted in their favor, Crips and Bloods made constant victims of the newly arrived immigrants. For many migrants in those areas, their formative experience of life in the United States was working for much higher pay than they could get in Mexico—usually paid in cash— and then being robbed of that hard-earned money by Black gangs.
“They had no protection; they became permanent victims,” said Valdemar. “Most of them wouldn’t call the police. They were constantly being beaten up. They’d be working construction jobs and get paid in cash on Friday. Crips would be waiting for them, armed to the teeth, on Fridays.”
Few politicians or police officers spoke Spanish, and Latino political power was a fraction of what it is today—in large part because so few Latinos could vote. Not only were many Mexican immigrants illegally in the country, but many also still dreamed of returning home someday. This humiliation at the hands of their Black neighbors fostered a resentment toward Black people in general that festered for years in emerging Mexican neighborhoods.
Then, in the 1980s, a shift began in many parts of Los
“IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO FIGHT, YOU WERE A PERPETUAL VICTIM. THE FIRST THING I LEARNED WAS HOW TO FIGHT.”TAPED CRUSADERS Councilman Kevin de León (left) and former city council president Nury Martinez at a meeting in 2022, just before the scandal broke. Inset: Councilman Gil Cedillo.
Angeles. Some areas, like Florence-Firestone, went from 80 percent Black to 90 percent Latino. Compton, Inglewood, Lynwood, and Black enclaves on both sides of the 110, became majority Latino. On the streets for a time, Black and Latino gangs maintained an uneasy balance of power. They often occupied parallel universes on the same streets, focus ing less on each other and more on rivals of their own race in other neighborhoods.
That was not the case, however, in California’s prison system, which at around the same time became something of an incubator for racial animus. The so-called Mexican Mafia—known as “Eme,” Spanish for “M”—was largely formed behind bars. Many of its first jailhouse gang members weren’t immigrants; they were secondgeneration Mexican Americans who barely spoke a word of Spanish. But, together with Sure ñ os, another Latino gang, Eme regu lated contraband and kept the groups’ own brutal order in prison yards across the state. They also—and this is key—went to war with Black gangs throughout the prison system. When they weren’t battling one another, the Brown and Black inmates main tained an almost Jim Crow-like segregation, using separate water fountains, separate showers, and separate telephones, not so much as bumming a cigarette from one another.
Predictably, this prison-bred animosity eventually spread beyond jailhouse walls, as a younger, more business-minded generation of Eme—the Pepsi Generation, they were called— took their prejudices with them when they cycled out of the system. “In the 1980s, this was not happening on the street,”
Valdemar says. “But all the gang members coming into the jail system were being indoctrinated into this no-Black thing. They go back out onto the street, and those rules become a big thing.”
Eventually, inevitably, the “no-Black thing” led to open war fare, with Black vs Brown skirmishes erupting in the 1990s all over L.A. On the Westside, Shoreline Crips battled Venice 13 (many Latino gangs a xed “13” to their names, M being the 13th letter of the alphabet). In Compton, Fruit Town Pirus and Tortilla Flats, who had coexisted more or less peacefully, began a brutal con flict that stretched for years. Meanwhile, various Latino factions—gangs formed in and out of prison—began to coalesce into a more unified force.
In 1992, a longtime Mexican Mafia mem ber named Peter “Sana” Ojeda held a meeting at El Salvador Park in Santa Ana, which turned out to be a pivotal moment in Latino gang history, at which the prison-born Eme took operational control over pretty much all the Latino street gangs. They began holding meetings, send ing emissaries to other Latino street gangs, and established something like an underground economy by taxing drug dealers in their neighborhoods (a system of extortion that still exists today in many barrios across Southern California).
And they did one other thing as well: They went to war with Black gangs.
This wasn’t entirely a racially motivated decision; it was also economic. In a cold prison calculus, the Mexican Mafia set out to crush drug-dealing competition from the Black
“THERE WERE A LOT OF BLACKS WE GREW UP WITH. BUT IT WAS LIKE, FORGET WE GREW UP PLAYING BIG WHEELS TOGETHER.”
gangs who had made crack cocaine into big business. “They specifically targeted the 8-Trey and East Coast Crips because they controlled drug trade in South-Central, and the Mexican Mafia wanted to take that from them,” says Valdemar.
It wasn’t long, though, before the war on Blacks spilled over from attacks on Crips and other gangs to attacks on “civilians” who just happened to be Black. In the San Fernando Valley, an Eme member named Adrian “Vamp” Salmeron held a meeting of 200 gang members in Dexter Park where he all but declared open warfare. “They said, ‘It’s open season on all Blacks,’” recalls Salmeron’s cousin, Anthony “Droopy” Navarro, a Pacoima gang member now on death row for murder. “That’s when the homies went at it with the Blacks in San Fernando Gardens [housing project]. There were a lot of Blacks we grew up with. But once that greenlight came out, it was like, forget that we grew up playing Big Wheels together. We should have just made peace with the Blacks and made money together. But Vamp wasn’t having it.”
In Hawaiian Gardens, HG13 firebombed a Black family’s home, and a member killed a well-known Black high-school football player, Mark Hammonds, as he walked down the street. In Highland Park, the Avenues gang staged a longrunning campaign to rid that neighborhood of Blacks. The Big Hazard gang in Ramona Gardens firebombed Black families that had the audacity to move into the housing project.
And so it went for some 15 years, from Riverside to the San Fernando Valley, as Latino gangs absorbed the ruthless mafia edicts, empowered by their growing demographics and the shifting balance of power on the streets.
Perhaps the best—or, rather, worst—example of all this was the 2006 slaying of Cheryl Green, a 14-year-old Black girl from Harbor Gateway. The shooter, Jonathan Fajardo, 18, was a member of 204th Street, a Latino gang that had by then been attacking and murdering new Black residents in the neighborhood for several years. (Fajardo, who was himself half Black, was convicted, sentenced to death, and then fatally stabbed by another inmate on San Quentin’s death row in 2018.)
Harbor Gateway, a tiny sliver of the strip that connects Los Angeles with the San Pedro port, was a sleepy, mostly unknown area before the murder. But the Los Angeles Times ran a story outlining the history of racial attacks on Blacks by 204th Street. Within two weeks, a press conference— attended by former FBI Director Robert Mueller, Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, Police Chief Bill Bratton, and Sheri Lee Baca—was held outside a tiny market the gang claimed as its territory, and which it prohibited Blacks from visiting. Not long after that, federal racketeering indictments against Latino street gangs began pulling hundreds of Latino gang members o the streets and back into prison. The war on Blacks finally began to sputter to an end.
By 2010, much of the classic gang violence that had plagued Southern California’s working-class neighborhoods was disappearing. Gra ti began to vanish; parks once again became safe for children, and while gangs still persisted, they became more focused on economic crimes like drug dealing, credit-card fraud, gun-running, smash-and-grab jewelry robberies, and pimping. Not great, by any stretch
1. Members of Eme in prison. 2. A mug shot of Mexican Mafia boss Peter Ojeda. 3. A 2007 vigil for Cheryl Green, a 14-year-old victim of gang violence. 4. Then-FBI Director Robert Mueller with then-Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, vowing to crack down on gangs in 2007.
of the imagination, but certainly better than the race-hate mayhem that had come before.
The change gave many Latino neighborhoods a new lease on life. Property values began to soar, and residents could finally unlock the value in their homes that so many other Southern Californians took for granted. In Los Angeles, homicides began a multiyear decline that has reversed only in the last two years. Meanwhile, racial mixing among young people has changed not just the complexion of the streets but also the attitudes of the residents.
And yet, even as relative peace has settled throughout much of the land, you can still hear echoes of this grim history in today’s political battles. The barrio resentments and prison-bred edicts; the feeling that nothing is given but must be taken; that if one side wins, the other loses; and that crossing racial lines somehow betrays one’s own race. It’s all there, if you listen carefully enough, in those leaked conversations of the city council’s Latino caucus.
ASK MIGUEL SANTANA, president and CEO of the Weingart Foundation and a former city administrative officer, what the tapes ultimately reveal, and he’ll tell you it’s about one thing and one thing only: power.
“I don’t think there was anything unique about what we heard on those tapes that wasn’t quintessential Los Angeles,” says Santana, whose career in L.A. politics stretches back nearly 40 years. “This city was founded with a political system that’s zerosum. It was established on the idea that those in power are going to preserve that power and maintain it—often at the expense of marginalized communities. The last names [on the tapes] may have changed, but it’s still just a reflection of how power has been hoarded.”
Santana isn’t the only one who believes the Black vs Brown narrative is being overplayed. “I’m someone who has studied race my entire career, and I’m always thinking everything is about race,” says Raphael Sonenshein at the Pat Brown Institute for Public A airs at Cal State L.A. “I’m hearing people say that this [tape] ripped the Band-Aid o Black and Latino relations and exposed the real L.A. And I’m thinking, no, it hasn’t. Everybody in the Latino leadership is calling on them to resign.”
Still, the tapes are what the tapes are, and they clearly reveal that the rift between Latinos and African Americans remains real. The di erence between then and now, though, is that the Black vs Brown power struggle is no longer playing out in the streets or in prisons but in the relative civility of city council meetings. Bare-knuckled as those taped conversations sometimes are, they are definitely an improvement over the gang battles that came before.
What comes next, obviously, is something of an open question. But there are reasons to be hopeful, if not exactly
optimistic. A new generation of Latino politicians appears to d although many of them are driven by the problematic progressive identity politics of the day, at least their ideologies don’t pit Black people against Brown.
“I’m a Latina woman,” says Eunisses Hernandez, 32, who last June stunned the political establishment by defeating incumbent Cedillo to win the District 1 primary (despite demand for his resignation, Cedillo seems intent on sticking to the job until his term runs out in January). “I come from a migrant family, and I’ve been in spaces where people are advocating just for Latinos—and that’s just not the way that I roll. The di erence between me and Nury [Martinez] is that her generation tries to preserve what they believe is power. They think that comes from just one community. For me, the way we build power in our generation is building out the table to include all the communities that have been harmed. That builds real power and solidarity.”
It is, perhaps, poetic justice that the release of the secret tapes may have opened an opportunity for this new generation to grab control. At this writing, the city is deeply focused on the mayoral race between Congresswoman Karen Bass and developer Rick Caruso, but the real dramatic shift may well come on the council. A slew of younger candidates—politicians whose mindset was formed not by gang warfare or the other struggles of the ’90s (like Proposition 187, the notoriously anti-Latino ballot initiative that banned
undocumented immigrants from receiving public services, supported by both white conservatives and Black voters) but by the Black Lives Matter movement of the 2020s—seems inches from grasping power.
In addition to Hernandez, council candidate Hugo SotoMartínez, 39, has a decent shot of ousting Mitch O’Farrell in the race for District 13. Progressive candi date Erin Darling, 41, is neck and neck with lawyer Traci Park in the race for District 11, and Assemblyman Isaac Bryan, 30, is rumored to be eyeing a council run in the future—potentially making a play for the seat in District 10 once held by Mark RidleyThomas, who was forced to step down over a corruption scandal.
“I think the new generation is less focused on race and ethnicity than the generation before,” says Villaraigosa, who, in 2005, became the first Latino elected mayor of Los Angeles in more than 100 years. “This generation are much more the product of a growing consciousness in America that we should judge people by the content of their character and not the color of their skin. They’re more open to other races and nationalities than the generation before.”
Ana Guerrero, a top aide to outgoing mayor Eric Garcetti, agrees. “I think we’re going through a transition now where identity politics are going to have to change,” she says. “And maybe the starting point for that is a place like Los Angeles.”
Of course, it’s not at all clear whether these new Latino politicians are actually reflective of the city’s ever-expanding
Latino community. Recent polls show that, nationally, Latino voters have moved to the right over the past several years, which puts them at odds with progressive, defundthe-police candidates like Hernandez. “People say that they don’t feel safe in the city at this moment, but in what other moment in history have we given police more money than we do today?” Hernandez says, explaining her controversial position. “When people ask me about the budget, my response is that we need to reassess where we are putting our resources.”
And yet, in a recent survey, nearly half of Latino Angelenos said they wanted to see police funding hold steady, while a third of those polled want to see funding increase. Which may well explain how a selfdescribed Italian Latino like Caruso, the so-called law-and-order candidate, appears to be doing so well with Latino voters.
“The younger generation think that all of this [previous progress] just magically happened,” says Avance’s Serrano, who’s not entirely a fan of the young guard. “I don’t think they respect the work that Kevin, Gil, and Nury have done to allow them to stand on their shoulders.”
With a week to go before the November 8 election, one thing has been abundantly clear. Los Angeles’s city council will never be the same. And whoever ends up taking power, whatever their age or race or ideology, they are all 100 per cent certain to do exactly the same thing on their very first day in o ce: sweep for bugs.
“WE’RE GOING THROUGH A TRANSITION WHERE IDENTITY POLITICS HAVE TO CHANGE. MAYBE THE STARTING POINT IS L.A.”
SANTA MONICA » American $$
James Beard Award–nominated chef Jeremy Fox gets personal with a sunny spot named after his young daughter. The high-low menu is full of playful ri s on comfort food, from mixed summer cucumbers to a matzo ball soup with carrot miso to a next-level relish tray. Don’t miss the jiggly Rose Petal pie for dessert. 2421 Michigan Ave., 310-310-3616 , or birdiegsla.com . Full bar.
If ever there was a car picnic scene, it’s at this open-air spot overlooking Malibu Lagoon State Beach. You can grab a great lobster roll (topped with uni or caviar if you’re feeling extra fancy), towers of raw seafood, great clam chowder, and a burger with Nueske’s bacon that shouldn’t be overlooked. 23359 Pacific Coast Hwy., 424-644-0131, or broadstreetoyster.com . Beer and wine.
SANTA MONICA » Southeast Asian $$$
Bryant Ng mines his Chinese Singaporean heritage, honors wife Kim’s Vietnamese background, and works in the wood-grilling technique he honed at Mozza at this grand Southeast Asian brasserie. Hunker down at a table on the patio—or treat yourself to some great takeout—to devour turmeric-marinated ocean trout or chickpea curry with scallion clay-oven bread. Wherever and however you enjoy Ng’s cooking, you won’t be disappointed. 1314 7th St., 310-393-6699, or cassiala.com . Full bar.
SANTA MONICA » Southeast Asian $$$
Coming here is like visiting a perfectly artdirected beach house where everything—from the colors on the walls to the curries on the plate—just pops. Grab a date, grab your friends,
Includes Beverly Hills, Brentwood, Century City, Culver City, Malibu, Marina del Rey, Mar Vista, Palms, Santa Monica, Venice, West L.A., Westwood
DOWNTOWN
Includes Arts District, Bunker Hill, Chinatown, Historic Core, Little Tokyo, South Park
Includes Beverly Grove, East Hollywood, Fairfax District, Hancock Park, Hollywood, Koreatown, West Hollywood
EAST
Includes Atwater Village, Eagle Rock, East L.A., Echo Park, Glendale, Los Feliz, Pasadena, San Gabriel Valley, Silver Lake
Includes Agoura Hills, Burbank, Calabasas, Encino, North Hollywood, Sherman Oaks, Studio City, Toluca Lake, Van Nuys SOUTH
Includes Bell, Compton, Gardena, Hermosa Beach, Long Beach, Manhattan Beach, Torrance, Watts
and get to the party. Don’t miss the beautifully ferocious Devil Chicken curry, amped up by both fresh and dried bird’s eye chiles and accompanied by a saucer of habanero vinegar that magically cuts the heat and enhances it at the same time. 2104 Main St., 424-238-5195, cobis.la , or @cobis.la Beer and wine.
SANTA MONICA » Italian $
It’s equally pleasant to grab and go or eat at this quiet, a ordable spot that features fresh pastas topped with farmers’ market fare. The colorful, poppy-seed-sprinkled beet ravioli is delicate and delicious, while the gramigna with beef ragù is hearty and satisfying. 1241 5th St., 310-310-8336, or colapasta.com . Beer and wine.
SANTA MONICA » Seafood $$
Brian Bornemann, the 31-year-old former executive chef at Michael’s Santa Monica, has gone his own way. He and his girlfriend, Leena Culhane, have launched a sustainable neighborhood joint that’s, by turns, a co ee shop, a seafood market, and a casual restaurant where you can nibble impeccably prepared crudo, tuna tartare toasts, and vegan Caesar salads on the patio while sipping a thoughtfully selected natural wine. Though the project began as a pandemic pop-up, it’s now an exciting brick-and-mortar spot from one of the city’s most promising young toques. 2724 Main St., 310-310-2120, crudoenudo.com , or @crudo_e_nudo Beer and wine.
CULVER CITY » Steak House $$$
There are still good times and great food to be had at this former Sinatra hang stylishly revamped by Josiah Citrin and Hans Röckenwagner. Steakhouse classics—crab Louie, oysters Rockefeller, thick prime steaks—pay homage to the lounge’s Rat Pack past and can be enjoyed on a sunny new patio or to go. 11208 Culver Blvd., 310-881-9288, or dearjohnsbar.com . Full bar.
CULVER
With a sprawling patio, concise menu, and various party tricks (the restaurant calls them “moments”), Etta is primed for good times. You can go big and order a $120 short rib “picnic” with various accou trements for the table or opt to have wine poured into your mouth from a large jug while a server snaps Polaroids. But you can also just pop in for a pizza or excellent pasta at the bar. For dessert, there are shots of tequila and co ee liquor topped with macaroon. 8801 Washington Blvd., 424-570-4444, ettarestaurant.com, or @ettarestaurant. Full bar.
At Evan Funke’s clubby, floral-patterned trat toria, the rigorous dedication to tradition makes for superb focaccia and pastas. The tonnarelli cacio e pepe—strands of pasta adorned only with pecorino Romano cheese and black pepper—nods to Roman shepherds who used the spice to keep warm, while the rigatoni all’Amatriciana with bacon, tomato, and pecorino Romano sings bril liantly alongside Italian country wines. 1023 Abbot Kinney Blvd., 424-387-8622, or felixla.com. Full bar.
BEVERLY HILLS
Prolific restaurateur Jerry Greenberg (Sugarfish, Nozawa Bar, KazuNori, Uovo, HiHo Cheeseburger) and his partners are convinced that they serve the world’s best beef, prepared in the most optimal way. After trying their five-course, $85 Wagyu dinner featuring sustainably raised, 100 percent grassfed beef from First Light Farms in New Zealand, you might see things their way. Magnificently marbled steaks are cooked to “warm red,” which is the color of rare and the temperature of medium rare. The result is meat that’s tender, luscious, and strikingly beefy. 239 S. Beverly Dr., 424-317-5031, or matusteak.com. Full Bar.
VENICE » Italian $$$
Jackson Kalb’s sprawling new Italian joint brings bustle and outdoor tables to a corner on an other wise quiet stretch. Pastas, including a spicy rigatoni alla vodka and raschiatelli with a pork rib ragù, are sublime, and most travel remarkably well if you’re looking to do takeout, which is the only option for lunch. Roman-style pizzas boast a uniquely crispy, cracker-thin crust; to get the full crunch, have a slice as you drive your takeout home. 2025 Pacific Ave., 424-443-5007, ospivenice.com, or @ospiveni. Full bar.
SANTA MONICA » French
HISTORIC
This Indian gastropub concept comes from the father-and-sons team of Pawan, Nakul, and Arjun Mahendro, who are all well versed in the culinary techniques of East and West. The menu features contemporary mash-ups, like a version of poutine smothered in chicken tikka, charred tandoori chicken, and braised lamb. If tradi tion’s your thing, you’ll be comforted by what they call Good Ol’ Saag Paneer. 108 W. 2nd St., 213-221-7466, or badmaashla.com. Beer and wine. Also at 418 N. Fairfax Ave., Fairfax District, 213-281-5185
ARTS DISTRICT » Brazilian $$
Rodrigo Oliveira and fellow chef/partner Victor Vasconcellos are here to show Los Angeles that there’s a lot more to Brazilian food than churras carias, so they’re serving habit-forming fried tapioca cubes and a vegan stew (moqueca de caju) headlined by cashew fruit that’s startlingly complex. Wash it all down with refreshing caip irinhas—the bar makes no less than five di erent kinds. 1850 Industrial St., 213-405-1434, cabocola.com, or @caboco.la. Full bar.
ARTS
Suzanne Goin and Caroline Styne have opened a Portuguese cousin to their beloved Spanishinfused A.O.C. The restaurant loads up its namesake seafood stew with a generous amount of local rock crab, grilled linguica, mussels, kale, and potato. It’s a tremendous example of the rough-and-tumble food that Goin loves—dishes in which she deftly balances salt, fat, and bold flavors with California brightness. A starter of Ibérico ham, anchovies, and olives is called “small plate of salty favorites” because Goin understands that you visit restaurants to be jolted and enjoy food that’s a bit more intense than what you typically eat at home. 1100 S. Broadway, 213-806-1023, or properhotel.com/downtown-la. Full bar.
ARTS DISTRICT » French/Indian $$$$
10101 Venice Blvd., Culver City (310) 202-7003 998 S. Robertson Blvd., Beverly Hills (310) 855-9380
Dave Beran’s à la carte spot bucks the trends and eschews bistro clichés in favor of old-fashioned thrills—an elaborate pressed duck prepared just as Esco er would have and served with potatoes au gratin dauphinois—and modern French fare. The showy duck must be reserved in advance as only a limited number of birds are available each night. But there are plenty of other exciting dishes on the menu, such as the chicken liver in brioche and pan-roasted sea bass with lobster velouté. 2732 Main St., 424-330-0020, or pasjoli.com. Full bar.
Wes Avila has left Guerrilla Tacos and is focus ing on torta-esque sandwiches at this heartfelt new venture. Standouts include the Saguaro with tempura-fried squash blossoms, heirloom tomato, market greens, ricotta cheese, and salsa China. It’s hearty and decadent but also wonderfully nuanced. There’s ample outdoor seating, but sandwiches with fried ingredients miraculously manage to remain crispy and travel well. 970 N. Broadway, Ste. 114, 213-278-0987, aedinette.com, or @angryegretdinette
“The main plan for this restaurant was to trans port people,” says Max Boonthanakit of the new Arts District bistro he opened with Michelinstarred chef Lijo George. “Bistro” may be an understatement, given the restaurant’s stunning minimalist interior and exquisitely prepared dishes, but Camphor is, at its core, a French bistro where plump oysters are served in a bath of ama retto mignonette and the beef tartare comes with a side of tempura-fried herbs. Boonthanakit and George aim to bring something completely new to L.A.—that is, something distinctively not L.A. Camphor’s access to the spices from George’s southern Indian homeland makes it a standout. 923 E. 3rd St., Ste. 109, 213-626-8888, or camphor.la. Full bar.
ARTS DISTRICT » Mexican
The huge, lively, plant-filled rooftop and some mezcal would be enough for a good night out at this Mexico City import, but chef Alejandro Guzmán, an alum of Le Comptoir, has packed his menu with quiet thrills. Carnitas get taken up a level by an orange reduction that comes at the end of the long cooking process. For dessert, the carrot flan is a small revelation, a surpris ing, exciting ri on carrot cake. The interior bar, La Barra, o ers up unique mezcal cocktails. 812 E. 3rd St., 213-548-8487, or chachacha.la. Full bar.
ARTS DISTRICT
At long last, Top Chef winner Stephanie Izard has brought her hit Chicago restaurant to a light, airy space and pretty patio in downtown L.A. with seating for 200. The lengthy menu is full of international intrigue and the unexpected flavor combinations for which Izard is known. Roasted
beets mingle with a yuzu-kosho vinaigrette. A salmon poke features chili crunch, avocado, and strawberry. Goat makes an appearance in both a liver mousse starter and a hearty curry main. 555-3 Mateo St., 213-799-4628, girlandthegoat.com, or @girlandthegoatla. Full bar.
DOWNTOWN » Japanese $$$
Everything about the look of this new izakaya-style restaurant in the Kensho Rykn hotel is serene. But don’t be fooled by the restaurant’s visual tranquility. The energy of Kodo¯, which translates to “heartbeat,” is intentionally boisterous because the chef, Yoya Takahashi, wanted to stay true to what a Kyotostyle izakaya would be—a fun place with an upbeat vibe and traditional Japanese bar fare. So the food comes out fast and without pretense. A Caesar salad of Little Gem lettuce is blanketed with bonito flakes. The o -menu toro, served with a tangy cilantro sauce, minced tomato, and cucumber, has the kind of fatty, melt-in-your-mouth quality you can’t forget (and don’t want to). 710 S. Santa Fe Ave., 213-302-8010, or kodo.la. Full bar.
WEST ADAMS » California Soul Food $$
Ri ng on his grandmother’s recipes, Watts native Keith Corbin loads up his gumbo with market veggies and enlivens his collard greens with a smoked oil. Hot sauce splashed onto skillet-fried chicken is pure pleasure, enhanced by a bourbon drink the bar tints with cacao-spiced bitters and Luxardo cherries. Finish the night by taking on a toasted angel food strawberry shortcake. 5359 W. Adams Blvd., 323-571-4999, or altaadams.com. Full bar.
BEVERLY GROVE » California $$$
Driven by culinary excellence, A.O.C. is anchored by a courtyard with soft sunlight and laurel trees. Caroline Styne’s wine list doesn’t shy away from the ecology of vineyards, while Suzanne Goin’s cooking has become indispensable. Carefully constructed salads showcase vegetables at their best, and the roasted chicken with panzanella is both an homage to San Francisco’s Zuni Café and a classic in and of itself. The bacon-topped sticky bun is legendary. 8700 W. 3rd St., 310-859-9859, or aocwinebar.com . Full bar. Also at 11648 San Vicente Blvd., 310-806-6464 , Brentwood.
Walter and Margarita Manzke’s delightful, delicious follow-up to République brings a bit of Paris to Pico. The menu is stocked with exactingly executed bistro standards: onion soup with oozy cheese, hearty short-rib bourguignon, and a luxurious bouillabaisse. Margarita’s baguettes and beautiful desserts are as great as ever. Resisting Bicyclette’s charms is futile. 9575 W. Pico Blvd., 424-500-9575 , or bicyclettela.com . Full bar.
Six nights a week, Brandon Gray turns out some of L.A.’s most exciting pizzas. Gray, a veteran of Navy kitchens and top local restaurants like Providence, brings boundless imagination to his pies. They’re topped with premium ingredients—Jidori chicken, Sungold tomatoes, smoked pork shoulder—in exciting combinations. A curry-Dijonnaise dressing renders a side salad surprisingly memorable. 7257 Beverly Blvd., 323-306-4968, or brandoni-pepperoni.com . Wine to go.
HANCOCK PARK » Italian $$$$
The best Northern Italian steak restaurant in the city, Chi Spacca serves a bistecca alla Fiorentina so tender that it would make a vegan blush. In this meat-eater’s paradise, the cuisine comes courtesy of 2014 James Beard Award-winning chef Nancy Silverton, owner of Osteria Mozza, Pizzeria Mozza, and Mozza2Go. And if red meat’s not your thing, try the chicken or octopus. But if it is, take some of the cured meats home—you’ll thank us. 6610 Melrose Ave., 323-297-1133, or chispacca.com. Full bar.
Even with a glass wall opening onto exhibits, architect Renzo Piano succeeded in creating an eatery at the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures that feels quite cinematic. While by day, Fanny’s is a café that serves salads and sandwiches to museumgoers, by night, it’s a glam, modern vision of an old-school Hollywood hangout. Captains in suits push carts of gooey, French, washed-rind cow’s milk cheeses and carve thick, bloody slices of côte de boeuf tableside. But there are also plenty of modern touches. Instead of a live band, Fanny’s has a di erent DJ spinning records every night. Chef Raphael Francois (Le Cirque, Tesse) sends out perfect twists on a Caesar salad and plays around with menu items like hamachi crudo on a bed of sweet pickled grapes and jicama with brown butter and cilantro. 6067 Wilshire Blvd., 323-930-3080, or fannysla.com. Full bar.
HOLLYWOOD MEDIA DISTRICT » French $$$
With its sceney Sycamore Avenue location and gorgeous, illustration-lined interiors, Gigi’s could easily succeed with subpar fare. But chef Matt Bollinger’s bistro classics—like curry mussels, steak tartare, and roasted chicken—are done quite well, if priced
rather high. The wine list from beverage director Kristin Olszewski, an Osteria Mozza alum, is surprisingly interesting, with various natural and biodynamic options on o er. 904 N. Sycamore Ave., 323-499-1138, gigis.la, or @gigis_la. Full bar.
For Creole-style food—a mélange of French, African, and Native American flavors—Harold & Belle’s is as close to the Dirty Coast as you’ll come on the West Coast. The crawfish étou ée in spicy gravy will have you humming zydeco, while the bourbon bread pudding will leave you with a Sazerac-worthy buzz. 2920 W. Jefferson Blvd., 323-735-9023, or haroldandbelles.com. Full bar.
HOLLYWOOD » Eclectic $$$
Versatile power-couple chefs Liz Johnson and Will Aghajanian have created a lively California bistro that feels both old school and of the moment. Located in the red-boothed space that was home to Ye Coach & Horses, the mostly European-inspired menu is rooted in both classic technique and free-spirited cooking. A sobrassada panino with white American cheese and a drizzle of honey is thin, crispy, sweet, savory, creamy, and spicy: an extremely pleasing little bite. Lumache pasta with vodka sauce gets an unexpected and delightful kick from ’nduja. 7617 W. Sunset Blvd. or horsesla.com. Full bar.
BALDWIN HILLS/CRENSHAW » Fried chicken $
With her hot chicken joint, Kim Prince is doing her family’s legacy justice—she’s the niece of André Prince Je ries, owner of Nashville legend Prince’s Hot Chicken Shack, where hot fried chicken is said to have originated. Prince adds spice at every step in the cooking process to produce a complex, layered fl avor. Sides, like mac and cheese, are also winners. 4070 Marlton Ave., 323-792-4835, or hotvillechicken.com. No alcohol.
HOLLYWOOD » Thai $$
Vibrant flavors and spices abound at this stripmall favorite from two Phuket natives. The crab curry, with a whole crustacean swimming in a creamy pool of deliciousness, is not to be missed (it travels surprisingly well), but the expansive menu is full of winners, from the massaman curry to the Thai fried chicken with sticky rice and sweet pepper sauce. 6660 W. Sunset Blvd., 323-498-5835, luv2eatthai.com, or @luv2eat.thaibistro
HANCOCK PARK » Eclectic $$$$
Chef Jordan Kahn, who received two Michelin stars for his tasting menu at Vespertine, sees Meteora as a restaurant about rediscovery. “Utilizing primordial cooking methods, we seek to generate new flavors of past experience” is an excerpt from the menu. A vegetable option includes fire-cooked stone fruit served with crispy brassica leaves, grilled roses, quark, cured duck breast, and lettuce leaves for wrapping. There’s the most perfectly grilled sea bream wrapped in banana leaf. The sta , dressed in white or light earth tones, are clearly trained with precision in mind. 6703 Melrose Ave., 323-402-4311, or meteora.la Full bar.
FAIRFAX DISTRICT » Cal-Italian $$
At Daniel and Caitlin Cutler’s chic pizzeria, the pies—especially the How ‘Nduja Want It? with spicy sausage, gorgonzola crema, green onion, and celery—are the clear stars, but it’s a big mistake not to explore the entire menu. It’s filled with delicious delights, from cacio e pepe risotto to a sea bass served with an ever-changing assortment of banchan. 7315 Melrose Ave., 323-917-5100, ronanla.com, or @ronan_la. Full bar.
BEVERLY GROVE » Seafood $$
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BOTANICA
Everything chef Zarah Khan makes is magic. These carrots were served with chili oil, pepita green goddess, feta, and citrus almonds. $18, 1620 Silver Lake Blvd., Silver Lake, botanica restaurant.com
CHIKARA MOCHI
Wagashi are bite-size Japanese sweets with an outer shell of mochi and sweet azuki-paste
filling. They look like jewels, and they’re delicious. Literally my new obsession. $3, 16108 S.
Western Ave., Gardena, 310-324-5256,
TSUBAKI
Silken tofu, cucumber kimchi, tobanjan miso, and black sesame. One of the best vegan dishes I’ve had. Refreshing, flavorful. Simple but with a lot of depth. $10, 1356 Allison Ave., Echo Park, tsubakila.com
—HEATHER PLATT
Florida-raised chefs Jon Shook and Vinny Dotolo deliver a certain brand of sun-drenched seashore nostalgia. Dropping into the nautically themed dining room for chilled peel-and-eat shrimp and a hurricane feels as e ortless as dipping your toes in the sand. There are buttery lobster rolls and fried-chicken sandwiches alongside artfully plated crudos. 8370 W. 3rd St., 323-782-9033, or sonofagunrestaurant.com. Full bar.
WEST HOLLYWOOD » Mediterranean $$$
It’s lovely outside, and there’s a stunning new WeHo spot with a patio that can hold 75 attractive people, plus hours that go to midnight on Fridays and Saturdays. Starters include various jamones and spicy paella bites. Further down the menu, there’s a lot of seafood options, from wood-fi red octopus with charred romesco to salmon crudo. 631 N. Robertson Blvd., 310-734-7764 , soulmateweho.com , or @soulmateweho Full bar
PASADENA » Eclectic $$
This low-key charmer—the work of two alums of acclaimed San Francisco Italian joint
IS NOT WHAT IS KILLING THIS C AT.
FIND OUT WHAT IS & HOW YOU CAN HELP PANTHERA.ORG
ChapCare (Community Health Alliance of Pasadena) held its Third Annual ‘Swing Fore Health’ Golf Tournament on August 29 at the Glendora Country Club, hosting 108 golfers for an afternoon of fun and charity. The full day of activities included: golfing, a putting contest and long drive. Participants also learned about ChapCare’s core mission of providing excellent, comprehensive, and innovative healthcare that is accessible to all the residents of the San Gabriel Valley.
As a network of primary health centers in the San Gabriel Valley, serving low-income patients and those without insurance, ChapCare’s work depends on federal funding and private contributions from caring donors to be able to serve the community—and change lives. ~ “ChapCare saved my life caring for me and my baby during my pregnancy!”
Support the care for those who can’t afford it by contributing to ChapCare at: chapcare.org
Flour + Water—deftly mixes midwestern hospi tality and European technique. The casual lunch is all about cheese and charcuterie boards and sandwiches. At dinner, excellent pastas, smartly prepared proteins, thoughtfully selected wines, and great cocktails join the party on the spacious patio. 40 W. Green St., 626-389-3839, agnesla.com , or @agnes_pasadena . Full bar.
SILVER LAKE » Eclectic $$
Jonathan Whitener’s Here’s Looking At You is, sadly, closed, but his thrilling cooking continues on a bustling Eastside corner. Whether you opt for smoked spare ribs, a hoki fish sandwich, or a breakfast sandwich on pastry chef Thessa Diadem’s sublime biscuits, it’s all great. 3200 W. Sunset Blvd., 323-741-0082, alldaybabyla.com , or @alldaybabyla
GLASSELL PARK » Southern American $$
“We don’t use processed foods because we try to work within the limitations from before the Gilded Age.” This culinary ethos is the force behind Brian Dunsmoor’s new restaurant, where his devotion to “heritage cookery” is on full dis play and activity centers on a wood-fired hearth. 3501 Eagle Rock Blvd., Glassell Park, 323-686-6027, or dunsmoor.la. Beer and wine.
SILVER LAKE » Eclectic $$
This stylish, cozy wine bar brings warm hospi tality to the strip-mall space formerly occupied by Trois Familia. Chef Spencer Bezaire’s menu deftly brings in flavors from around the globe without feeling overly contrived. Chicken wings are accompanied by salsa macha. Don’t miss the big fries. 3510 W. Sunset Blvd., 323-522-6323, or eszettla.com . Beer and wine.
October 13, 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. Redbird, DTLA
On October 13, the LA’s BEST community gathered for the annual event Locally Grown where guests enjoyed garden-infused cocktails and hors d’oeuvres personally created and served by local noteworthy chefs. Many thanks to hosts Chef Neal Fraser and Amy Knoll Fraser for welcoming us into their private, beautiful garden at Redbird.
To learn more about the event and LA’s BEST visit lasbest.org/locallygrown2022
California nonprofit Shoes That Fit, Nordstrom and Nike kicked off the season of giving by providing brand new athletic shoes to the students at John Mack Elementary School in Los Angeles on Wednesday, September 21st. They hosted the event in the auditorium which was filled with Nikes and gift bags for the kids, a DJ and a special appearance from WNBA star Jordin Canada of the LA Sparks.
Shoes That Fit is a nonprofit organization that helps children across the country by giving them access to new shoes and other life-changing, essential items.
Nordstrom has supported Shoes That Fit since 2010 and this year reached an exciting milestone –giving over 300,000 pairs of shoes to children around the country.
Make a donation this holiday season by visiting shoesthatfit.org
EAST HOLLYWOOD » Seafood $$$
This tiny oyster bar was a pre-pandemic favor ite, and chef Ari Kolender’s seafood dishes still thrill when taken to go or enjoyed on the restaurant’s “boat deck.” The scallop tostada with yuzu kosho and basil is a must-order, and a bisque sauce takes the basic lobster roll to new heights. Interesting, a ordable wines add to the fun. 4880 Fountain Ave., 323-486-7920, foundoyster.com , or @foundoyster. Beer and wine.
HIGHLAND PARK » Cal-Italian $$
Hidden in a wood-trussed dining room behind Triple Beam Pizza, this Cal-Ital restaurant from Mozza vet Matt Molina balances casual and refined. Snappy wax beans are sluiced with vinaigrette for a picnic-worthy salad. Great pastas and juicy grilled chicken thighs deliver the unfussy pleasure found at the best neighbor hood spots. Eclectic regular specials like haute corn dogs add to the fun. 5916 ½ N. Figueroa St., 323-545-3536 , or hipporestaurant.com . Full bar.
GLENDALE » Korean $
K-Town has the highest concentration of Korean food in the U.S., but it doesn’t get all the hits. Jin Cook works wonders with “authentic Korean soul food” in Glendale. This homey restaurant brings sparkle to dishes like spicy pork. Thinly sliced meat arrives sizzling in a stone bowl and then gets crusty and caramelized and reaches hyperdrive when showered with shredded mozzarella, which magically melds with the spicy meat and enables cheese pulls galore. 310 N. Brand Blvd., 818-637-7822, or jincooks.com. Beer.
VIRGIL VILLAGE » Japanese-Thai $$$$
Nan Yimcharoen became an underground sensation during the pandemic, selling jewel
Locally Grown: A Garden Party Benefiting LA’s BEST
$1 Million Goal
box–like chirashi sushi over Instagram. Now she’s got a brick-and-mortar spot serving a Japanese-Thai tasting menu with exquisite courses like slices of bluefin tuna larb gorgeously assembled in the shape of a rose, and a resplen dent crab curry with blue butterfly-pea-flower noodles and a sauce powered by innards and roe. 771 N. Virgil Ave. 949-793-0194, or @kinkan_la. Sake.
LINCOLN HEIGHTS » Barbecue $
Some of the best Texas barbecue is actually in L.A. Andrew and Michelle Muñoz’s brisket and beef ribs are meaty bliss that would be taken seriously in Austin. But Moo’s is very much a vital L.A. spot; the Muñozes weave in their Mexican-Angeleno roots with dishes like a cheese-and-poblano-filled beef and pork verde sausage. 2118 N. Broadway, 323-686-4133, mooscraftbarbecue.com, or @mooscraftbarbecue. Beer and wine.
EAST HOLLYWOOD » Thai $
O ering specialty dishes unique to northern Thailand, this family-run favorite doesn’t skimp on flavor, spice, or authenticity. Tasty takeout meals include the khao soi gai (curry egg noodle with chicken), laab moo kua (minced pork), tam kha noon (jackfruit salad), and pla salid tod (fried gourami fish). For those unfamiliar with the region’s distinct cuisine, the illustrious sticky rice is still a reliable bet. Need incentive? Everything on the menu is less than $10. 5301 W. Sunset Blvd., 323-474-7212, or amphainorthernthaifood.com
SILVER LAKE » Mexican $
The team behind the beloved local chainlet Guisados has taken over an old seafood taco stand on a busy Eastside stretch. The results, as you might expect, are delicious and delightful.
Playita has a fresh, beachy blue-and-white aes thetic and a tight menu of well-done ceviches, seafood cocktails, and fish tacos. 3143 W. Sunset Blvd., 323-928-2028 , playitamariscos.com , or @playitamariscos
PASADENA » Spanish $$$
The arrival of this splashy new spot suggests that the good times might soon be here again. It shares a charming, sprawling courtyard with the Pasadena Playhouse, and the seafood-heavy menu from chef Dominique Crisp, who previously worked at L&E Oyster Bar, begs for reuniting with friends on nice summer nights. Orange zest enlivens jamón ibérico crudités, while miso butter takes grilled oysters to new heights. 37 S. El Molino Ave., 626-808-4976, sasobistro.com, or @sasobistro. Full bar.
LOS FELIZ » Sushi $$
So¯go is hardly the only concept in town devoted to rolls, but it has mastered the form. Rice is cooked with the same careful consideration and seasoning that sushi master Kiminobu Saito uses at the high-end Sushi Note, and it manages to maintain a great temperature and texture, even when being delivered. Fish is not just fresh but also flavorful, each type thoughtfully paired with ideal accompaniments, from a tangy yuzu-pepper sauce that makes salmon sing to brandy-soaked albacore with garlic-ginger ponzu and crispy onions. 4634 Hollywood Blvd., 323-741-0088, sogorollbar.com , or @sogorollbar. Beer and sake.
SILVER LAKE » Filipino $$
The go-to for Filipino comfort food o ers a variety of dishes, all featuring one shared ingredient: deliciousness. Spoon & Pork puts an innovative spin on some Filipino favorites—just try its adobo
pork belly, pork belly banh mi, or lechon kawali. The dishes, which can be ordered at the counter to enjoy on the patio or for takeout and delivery, mix decadence with some authentic soul. 3131 W. Sunset Blvd., 323-922-6061, spoonandpork.com , or @spoonandporkla. Beer and wine.
SILVER LAKE » Japanese $$$
With omakase boxes priced from $30 to $85, this new sushi place in the old Ma’am Sir space strikes the sweet spot between a ordable and indulgent and is another exciting addition to the Eastside’s growing number of quality sushi options. It’s a sister spot to Highland Park’s Ichijiku but with a more luxe vibe and a larger menu, tailor-made for takeout. 4 330 W. Sunset Blvd., 323-741-8371, sunsetsushila.com , or @sunsetsushi. Beer and sake to go.
PASADENA
There was a moment when U Street’s vodka pep peroni pie was a shining star of Instagram, and rightfully so. The why-haven’t-I-had-this-before combination of pepperoni and creamy vodka sauce is an easy win. Vegetable dishes, notably a Japanese eggplant with Calabrian chili agro dolce, are more than afterthoughts. Note that while the vodka pepperoni pie travels well, the clam pie is best enjoyed in-house. 3 3 E. Union St., 626-605-0430 , ustreetpizza.com , or @ustreetpizza
❂ Black Market Liquor Bar
STUDIO CITY » New American $$
Some nights it seems as if half the Valley is here, enjoying the colorful patio. Top Chef graduate
Antonia Lofaso’s Italian chops are visible in the buxom ricotta gnudi with brown butter and pistachios. The deep-fried flu er nutter sand wich is a reminder that food, like life, should not be taken too seriously. 11915 Ventura Blvd., 818-446-2533 , or blackmarketliquorbar.com Full bar.
❂
WOODLAND HILLS » Sushi $$$
This hidden gem, reinvigorated when chef Mark Okuda took the helm in 2018, is worth traveling for. The excellent omakase is available in the restaurant on the patio or to go. You can also order à la carte or get non-sushi items like soy-glazed grilled chicken. 21418 Ventura Blvd., 818-456-4509, thebrotherssushi.com, or @thebrotherssushila. Beer, sake, and wine.
The L.A. bagel revolution continues at this stylish spot in the Valley that serves up carefully constructed sandwiches. Tomato, aioli, and maple-glazed bacon elevate a simple bacon, egg, and cheese, while a classic salmon-and-lox construction has thoughtful touches like salted cucumbers and pickled onions. Grab a tub of Hank’s “angry” spread—a spicy, slightly sweet concoction—to have in your fridge. 4315 W. Riverside Dr., 818-588-3693, hanksbagels.com, or @hanksbagels. Also at 13545 Ventura Blvd., Sherman Oaks, 818-588-3693.
ENCINO » Middle Eastern $
Deeply comforting Israeli skewers, kabobs, and merguez come with a colorful and tasty array of salads showcasing produce like red cabbage, cucumbers, tomatoes, eggplant, and pumpkin. The spicy sauces on the side work well with anyand everything. 17630 Ventura Blvd., 818-774-9400, or telavivkoshergrill.com
EL SEGUNDO » Seafood $$
This small, unassuming spot shames all the glossy poke purveyors popping up around town to serve mediocre versions of the Hawaiian dish. Glistening cubes of tuna, flown in fresh from the islands daily, remind you how great poke can be. The smoked-ahi dip with housemade potato chips is not to be missed. 409 E. Grand Ave., 310-616-3484, or aliifishco.com
MANHATTAN BEACH » Seafood $$$
A premium raw bar near the beach shouldn’t be unusual, but it is. The same goes for vel vety clam chowder. Here, it achieves smoky richness—you can thank the Nueske’s bacon for that—without any of the floury glop. 1148 Manhattan Ave., 310-893-6299, or eatfwd.com . Full bar.
LONG BEACH » Pizza $
That most amazing slice of pizza you had that one very drunken, late night in your early twen ties in New York lives on . . . in Long Beach.
The crust, made with dough cold-fermented for 48 to 72 hours, is carby perfection: tangy, crispy, thin but with a healthy pu . The concise menu doesn’t o er any revelations about what should be atop pizza but, instead, perfects the usual suspects. 2118 E. 4th St., 562-434-2009, littlecoyotelbc.com, or @littlecoyotelbc. Also at 3500 Los Coyotes Diagonal, 562-352-1555.
and the number one thing on my mind was keeping that job. I had padded my bra like I’d padded my résumé. It was just another piece of the costume I was wearing in pursuit of the role of Aspiring Actress, no worse a lie than listing the nonexistent Taos Outdoor Theater on my résumé, where I had supposedly played Rosalind in As You Like It, another credit I had come to realize was also not going to help me get on 90210. Actors are pretenders, and I’m not sure I saw these fabrications as something that took away from the Real Me. The voices questioning the bigger picture I was being sold were in there, brewing, and they’d gather strength over the years, but my first reaction to the director in that moment was a thought resembling, I can’t take my bra o because then he’ll know how much fakery is in here, and I’ll be exposed (literally) for how big (small) my boobs actually are.
I somehow kept my bra on that day. I didn’t so much stand up for myself as I jokingly referenced the nudity clause and said a too-nice, fun-girl-not-wanting-to-make-waves version of “that makes me uncomfortable” and since then have spent most of my career playing affable best friends and talkative single moms whose boobs were not often called on to perform solo whilst uncovered. But I kept my Wonderbras in rotation on all my auditions, and my cutlets were always on standby.
Not long ago, I was sitting under an umbrella on Mae Whitman’s patio, and she mentioned wanting a new bra for work.
Mae: I like the one I’m wearing, but the lace is itchy.
Me: Well, you should get a bra. That thing
you’re wearing is not a bra.
Mae: (confused) This bra I’m wearing? This bra is a bra.
Me: (overusing air quotes) That “bra” you’re “wearing” is not a “bra.” It’s like two triangles of “tissue paper” held up by a piece of “ribbon.” You need, like, “padding” in there if you want a bra for “work.”
One fun thing about having Mae as a friend is that we’re so close that, at times, I forget we aren’t the same age. But then, I’ll use too many air quotes or say Phoebe Bridgers when I really mean to say Phoebe Waller-Bridge, and she’ll get a particular look of pity on her face, and it hits me that—oh, yeah—I’m 20 years older than she is, and possibly out of touch with The Kids Today. That day on her patio, Mae explained to me that most women she knew had stopped using as much boob fakery in the aughts, and it struck me that extremely short skirts and lowrise jeans were also a thing of the past, and that once again my boobs had quite possibly expired. It occurred to me that I hardly ever hear of anyone who wasn’t a Real Housewife getting their breasts surgically augmented anymore, and that almost none of the other 30-year-old actresses I know ever mention the Wonderbra even as a joke, and maybe don’t even know of its existence. Certainly, none of them refer to their breasts as “the girls,” as if they had two hard-partying sorority sisters living inside their shirt. I realized my ’90s boobs belonged back in time with my daily devotion to the Iced Blendeds from the Co ee Bean & Tea Leaf, driving with the top down, and the occasional American Spirit Ultra Light—other things I’d grown out of or left behind long ago. I made co ee at home now, never left the house with an SPF under 45, and hadn’t had a single drag of anything in 20 years.
we’d finally learned what our bodies really needed: GREEN JUICES. Here in the 2000s, we have learned the secret: we must constantly be cleansing our systems to rid ourselves of the hideous toxins we’ve somehow accumulated. The cooler bags with plastic containers of the ’90s have now been replaced by cooler bags with recyclable mason jars of green juice and bland green salads with bland raw dressings or the delicious alternative cooler bags of bland green soups with no dairy, no sugar, no meat, no salt, no oil. We’ve finally got this health thing figured out! I don’t know how we made it through the ’90s with all those toxins swimming around. I guess it was only due to our attention to bodily e ciency. I’m old enough now to identify these trends partially as a result of science and research, partially as one fad simply replacing another. Yet I don’t seem to have learned those lessons well enough to be able to resist whatever the newest one is that comes my way. So if you see me out some day wearing a torpedo-shaped bra and downing green powder out of a packet, don’t be surprised.
FROM THE BOOK HAVE I TOLD YOU THIS ALREADY?
BY LAUREN GRAHAM.
I went home that day, cleared the bulkier bras out of their drawers, and when I found some wellworn cutlets in the very back, rather than thinking of replacing them, I threw the pair away.
COPYRIGHT © 2022 BY LAUREN GRAHAM.
PUBLISHED BY BALLANTINE BOOKS, AN IMPRINT OF RANDOM HOUSE, A DIVISION OF PENGUIN RANDOM HOUSE LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
It also occurred to me that no one got their meals delivered in plastic containers promising eciency anymore because
I feel that, in asking these tough questions, I may have taken some of the fun out of boobs and left us all a bit deflated. I don’t want the mood to sag here. Let me see if I can perk things up. I’m pretty sure I’ve learned my lesson now, and I must tell you, that really takes a weight o my chest. Nevertheless, I pledge to continue to do my breast to keep up with the times. Before I go, I just want to give a shout-out to all my friends in Silicon Valley. (I know the di erence between Silicon and silicone—it’s just comedy, people.) It’s true, I don’t yet know what shape the boobs of the future will take, but with the help of my fond mammaries of the ’90s, I don’t think I’ll ever again allow them to fall flat. I believe that, thanks to the support of people like Mae in my life, I will stay uplifted, and in the future shall avoid falling into any more booby traps. In conclusion, while I’m not sure what the boobs of the ’20s will turn out to be, I am pretty sure that, whether I’m driving, or bra shopping, or acting, I’ll never again be caught with my top down. By the way, I never did get a part on 90210, but I guess that’s just tough titties.*
*The above paragraph brought to you in partnership with Mae Pity Face™.
1946.
cactus garden. The surviving statues are in storage, and the ground below is being prepared for new residents.
The beloved but bedraggled 76-year-old stand was demolished and will be replaced by a similar-looking, but 30 percent larger, restaurant still filled with “hotdoggers” frying up corn dogs and churning out lemonade. “We tried to save as many original items as possible,” said Jenn Johnston, president of FAT Brands, which also owns Fatburger and Johnny Rockets. “But a lot of the items had significant wear and tear, which is what ultimately led to the remodel.” The city landmarks commission reviewed demolition plans and came to the conclusion that the business was more significant than the building. Auf wienersehen.
Q: What happened to the cool Plaza of Mesoamerican Heritage sculpture garden at Forest Lawn Hollywood Hills? It’s like a lost Disney ride.
A: Like everything at Forest Lawn, unto dust shalt thou
return. Well, at least that pertains to the giant plaster replica of the Aztec sun stone, which succumbed to the elements after three decades outdoors.
James Llewellyn, nephew of Forest Lawn’s theatrical
founder, Hubert Eaton, created the park in 1987, recalling his vacations south of the border. Management hoped to attract Latino visitors and future customers with copies of 17 monumental relics set in a
A: Starting in 1940, Paul J. Howard ran a sprawling plant nursery and extravagant gift shop called California Flowerland on that corner. In his twilight years, the super patriot added shops and restaurants built in Early American style along his property. “Colonial Corners” had giant flagpoles, monuments to the presidents, and an old-fashioned ice cream parlor with 66 flavors. Howard railed against taxes and talked of preserving Americana, but weeks after his death in 1966, his heirs sold it all to real estate developers. If you squint hard enough at the roaring hearth inside the Starbucks, you can imagine you’re in Colonial Williamsburg.
● Before sexy vampires were a thing, Vampira was rocking her glamour-ghoul image in movies and TV. The actress—née Maila Nurmi—was born 100 years ago this month, and fans will gather on December 11 to remember her with a screening and a visit to her tomb at Hollywood Forever cemetery. “We’ve got Oscar winners and rock stars,” says cemetery tour guide Karie Bible, “but more people come to see the horror hostess.” That evening, the American Cinematheque is presenting footage of the starlet, along with a double feature of Ed Wood (in which Lisa Marie plays Vampira) and Wood’s 1959 epic Plan 9 From Outer Space (starring Vampira, of course). “She’s a feminist, a goth icon, a beatnik,” Bible says.
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Q: What are those three buildings with domes at National and Barrington boulevards?The original Muscle Beach location opened in
