DISCOVERING YOUR SEXUALITY WHILE STUDYING

Whether you’re an out and proud member of the LGBTQIA+, or in it but not out, or not sure if you’re in it or not, going to University can be terrifying, exciting or even both. How do you come out to your flatmates? What about homophobes? What do I do if I just don’t know, how do I figure it out? These are all really serious concerns, but hopefully we can help to alleviate some of them and get you hyped about beginning the next big chapter of your life.

For those of us that are out and proud, no matter how proud you are there is always the worry that your flatmate could be homophobic. Although the chances are smaller now, it’s 2023, it is still 100% a very real concern that is not silly to have. However, most universities have a zero tolerance policy for discrimination or bullying, so if you feel unsafe, or are being treated badly by silly little bigots, report them. I know there will be that worry of ‘but wont that make it worse not better?’, of course there is a chance that will happen. However, the chances of them acting right for fear of getting expelled, or you being moved to a safer place to live are much likelier. You have to do what feels right for you in the situation, but it’s better to speak up, if not for yourself, for the next LGBTQIA+ person that they meet.

Another big thing is coming out. Whether that be to your flatmates, your course mates or your new budding friendships. Listen, there’s a million ways to do this, but again, you are uniquely you, do what feels right to you, what matches your personality or what matches the version of you that you want to be. Coming out when you first move in does not have to be a whole big song and dance, unless of course you want it to be. Some of you may be sitting thinking, I wish I didn’t have to tell them, I wish they just knew, and there are ways and means around that, that can also be quite fun. You could wear a t-shirt moving in, or on your first few days around them, that says ‘Sounds gay I’m in’ or ‘GAY AF’ or any other combination of words that gets the point across in a totally nonchalant, I’m out and I’m proud kind of way – Esty is great for this type of thing. Another great no-big-deal- way is a classic game for new students – Never Have I Ever. Listen, by the end of your years in Uni the questions will get a bit wild and insanely specific but at the start, when you’re all getting to know each other someone will say ‘Never have I ever kissed someone of the same sex’ or something along those lines. That’s then your que to take a drink, as the game goes, and just say ‘well I’m gay so duh’. Easy peasy, no dramas, next question. In the first couple days there can be a lot of chatter to get to know each other, where is everyone from, what is everyone studying, and you can just ask ‘what is everyone’s pronouns?’ ‘What is everyone’s sexuality?’. I get that coming out can seem scary but at the end of the day, who you sleep with is as important and unimportant as what music you like, there is no need to make a scene if it’s not your vibe, or if you’ve been out for years and just don’t feel like its that big a deal anymore.

If you want to have a deep and meaningful conversation about it, that’s okay too, you can do that. Everyone talks for the first few weeks of university and trust me when I say that everyone is as desperate to make friends as everyone else. You can always wait a few days, see who you vibe with and come out to them one on one during a late night or early morning chat. You can ask your flat or friends to gather and do a monologue that you have pre-rehearsed in the mirror or the shower. It might even be your first time coming out to someone – and that can definitely be a scary thing so don’t feel that you need to tell everyone straight away – or at all. We are all running our own race, so run at your own pace – and jog or walk or pause when you feel like you need to.

Another big thing is ‘giving it the old college try’ – meaning exploring your sexuality during your time at University. You might not know if you are gay yet, you might be thinking ‘hmm maybe I’m not too sure’, or you may be feeling a little bit mixed and know that you aren’t really straight, but you aren’t quite sure where you fit on the spectrum yet. That is not only perfectly okay – that is not only normal – that is so exciting for you. University opens up a realm that you haven’t explored yet, people you haven’t met yet, opportunities that you didn’t even know existed. So, you can – and should if you want to – explore. Explore new things, places and even people while exploring your sexuality and identity. Don’t get me wrong, this too has some scary bits. What if you’re out, exploring with your lips and then the point of the night comes where there’s even more exploring, and you aren’t ready. Listen, Rome wasn’t built in a day, your identity doesn’t need to be either. It’s perfectly okay to panic and run away, it’s okay to let your partner (or person you met in the bar) know that you are new to this and feeling a little overwhelmed, any half decent person will understand this, and many will have been through it themselves. It’s like losing your virginity all over again, don’t do it till you are ready.

That being said, you never know till you try. Step out of your comfort zone a little bit. The best part of university, especially when you live away from home whether that is 2 hours or 2000 miles away, is that you get to pick who you are, you are not confined by the rules or expectations or your parents, or the people in school that think wearing leather is ‘out there’. You get to be the version of you that you were maybe too afraid to show, or you showed and were put down for. Wear whatever you want! Seriously, nobody really cares that much, you will realise that everyone around you is too busy trying to figure out who they are and trying to be an adult to give a damn about what you are wearing, how you present yourself or where you like to put your genitals (unless of course they are hot in which case show us pictures please!). You get to be the authentic version of you now, the new version of you if you want to reinvent yourself. You get to pick your identity and your sexuality. Scary? Obviously. But also, how fl ipping exciting!

Feature by Megane Herrick

Hair

Danny Malone

What an extraordinary year it has been, embarking on my journey as a Revlon Professional Visionaire. This incredible opportunity has unlocked a world of possibilities for me propelling me towards new heights in my career. Imagine my elation when I discovered that I had become a finalist for Northern Ireland Hairdresser of the Year at the prestigious British Hairdressing Awards. This accomplishment has been a lifelong aspiration ever since I first set foot in the world of hairdressing a decade ago. To have the chance to showcase my boundless creativity on such a grand stage is nothing short of a dream come true.

But that’s not all! I have been granted the extraordinary opportunity to display my talents at Salon International in London alongside my fellow Visionaries. On stage, I will captivate the audience with my live demonstration on models at the esteemed Hairdressing Journal Pod Stage. I want to thank Jayne Lewis-

Orr for this opportunity.

To be entrusted with such a privilege is truly humbling and I am grateful beyond words. None of this would have been possible without the unwavering support of my salon Macc Hair and my incredible friends and family who have stood by my side throughout this remarkable journey.

I would be remiss if I didn’t express my heartfelt gratitude to the esteemed, award-winning hairdresser, Mark Leeson, his partner Richard Darby and the entire Revlon team. Their guidance and mentorship have been invaluable in shaping me into the professional I am today. I owe them a debt of gratitude for believing in my potential and pushing me to surpass my own expectations. This extraordinary chapter in my career is just the beginning, and I am excited to continue growing, learning and making waves in the world of hairdressing.