Bo's place 2014 - Karen Sachar

Storytelling matters.

By Karen Sachar

Storytelling Stories remind us of where we’ve been and where we might go.

Storytelling awakens the imagination.

It inspires.

It can create laughter and tears.

It can spark of a word a thought or an idea.

Stories connect generations and unite humanity.

Indeed, storytelling is a link shared by peoples everywhere.

No matter the story. No matter the experience.

Since the beginning of time, through drawings in the sand or on the walls of cave dwellings, whether through oral tradition or song, dance or recipes, stories are the core of our traditions as people.

Our hope is to rekindle the heart of humanity and to educate and inspire through our creativity. We aim to help viewers discover stories within themselves, and that they will be remembered and passed down for years to come.

Storytelling shall be our legacy.

matters.

Š 2014 Photographed and produced by Karen Sachar & Co., Inc. All rights reserved.

an educational exhibit created by Photographer, Karen Sachar

“Life & Death... Let’s Talk About It.” was created to initiate a dialogue about a subject we often avoid —until we can’t. We hope you are inspired by these images that capture the resilient spirit of families who have been impacted by a death and who have come to Bo’s Place for grief support. Thank you for participating in our efforts to raise awareness of the need for grief support services for children and families in our community —support like that available at Bo’s Place.

THIS IS NOT A S A D E X H I B I T. I T I S A H A R D S U B J E C T. BUT THE PHOTOS AND STORIES REFLECT HOPE AND HEALING FOR THOSE WHO GRIEVE.

M E E T J O H N N Y.

R M E E T J O H N N Y ’ S FA M I LY, THE ROMANOS.

Meet the Romanos.

Home is where the heart is. And for Mike, Julie, Joey and Sophie Romano, it’s at the Johnny Romano Memorial Skate Park in Galveston, Texas. We had been shooting for an hour or so when we arrived at the park. The whole family, almost instinctively, came together to watch the kids skate. Maybe they were thinking of Johnny or maybe being there is like being in the comfort of their own home, whatever the case, watching their time together was meaningful.

Johnny Romano died September 23, 2008 at the age of 10 from leukemia.

Johnny was a little guy and a big teacher. Skateboarding and surfing were his passions. His death, and his goodness, inspired these global communities forever and led to the creation of the nonprofit, JohnnyKicksCancer, which seeks to find a cure for childhood cancer.

For the Romanos, Bo’s Place was a place of release—for 75 minutes every week, they weren’t alone in their grief. At Bo’s Place, they discovered how to navigate their waves of pain.

Life as they knew it changed forever when Johnny died.

The Romanos work hard every day to heal from an event they cannot change. And in doing so, they inspire those who cross their paths.

Tip #1

Speak in the present tense.

“When is Johnny’s birthday?”

“The pain and sadness

come in waves.�

Tip #2

When with a grieving family member, use the name of the person who died.

BO’S PLACE IS...

a place to release the build up.

M E E T A S H L E Y.

R M E E T A S H L E Y ’ S FA M I LY, THE GOEBELS.

Meet Fireman Drake (age 5), and Fireman Al (age undisclosed). Drake lives with his grandparents, Al and Wendy Goebel.

As a firefighter with the City of Houston, Al learned about Bo’s Place through the City’s Employee Assistance Program. You might think this is a family of heroes because of their service to our community, and you would be right. But to me, they are heroes because they made the choice to seek out Bo’s Place, when life itself sounded an alarm.

On April 10, 2011, Drake’s mom Ashley died unexpectedly and the Goebels began a new journey—dealing with their own grief and raising then 3-year-old, Drake.

Bo’s Place has given Al and Wendy’s family “the knowledge to take a child through the grief process and the peace of mind knowing that as he grows up and has questions, Bo’s Place will be there to help.”

Life as they knew it changed forever when Ashley died.

The Goebels work hard every day to ensure that Drake remembers his mom and has a full and happy life despite experiencing the death of a parent at such a young age.

“Grieving is

a journey.”

Tip #3

Stay connected. Check in regularly long after the funeral.

“Grief is a process.

It happens in stages and eventually you come to a new normal.�

Tip #4

Show up. There will be good, bad, and ugly times.

Through it all, your just being there is a big comfort.

Tip #5

Offer comfort with a hug.

M E E T W E S L E Y.

R M E E T W E S L E Y ’ S FA M I LY, THE CANNINGS.

Meet Joe Canning. Father of Amanda Jo, Russell and Marine Lance Corporal Wesley Joel Canning.

This dad is proud. Proud of his family. Proud of his country, and proud of Wesley for his commitment to serve.

On November 10, 2004, Marine Lance Corporal Wesley Joel Canning was killed in action in Iraq.

When I first met Joe, we visited at Wesley’s gravesite. He told me he hated coming, but for him it was the right thing to do. Joe visits often. When he arrives he lights a cigarette and sits with his son. Joe is a strong man with a caring heart. He’s a principled man. A man you can count on.

What Joe, Russell and Amanda Jo didn’t count on was losing Wesley to war.

Joe and his family were brave, steadfast and strong after Wesley’s death, but their hearts were broken. Bo’s Place became a safe haven where they could let down their guard, a place where they could be sad, talk or just listen, knowing they would not be judged. Where the healing could begin.

Life as they knew it changed forever when Wesley died.

The Cannings work hard every day to honor the sacrifice Wesley made for our country and to heal from the overwhelming loss to their family.

Tip #6

Ask how they are doing and listen.

Without passing judgment or giving advice. Just listen.

Tip #7

Help find ways to honor a loved one’s memory.

BO’S PLACE IS...

where you know you aren’t alone in what you are feeling or experiencing.

MEET ROMAN.

R M E E T RO M A N ’ S FA M I LY, THE KOGUCKIS.

Meet the Koguckis.

When I photographed Christine, Steven and Ian Kogucki, it had only been 9 months since Roman died.

Roman was Ian’s babysitter, his ride to and from school, his brother and his friend. I was struck by Ian’s warmth and gentle nature. He displayed wisdom far beyond his 12 years.

Roman Kogucki, Christine and Steven’s oldest son and Ian’s older brother died on October 26, 2012 at the age of 16 in a car accident.

The Koguckis came to Bo’s Place for Ian. They didn’t really know how to help him and knew that Bo’s Place provided support groups for grieving families. As it turned out, the support groups and activities not only helped Ian, but Steven and Christine as well. For Christine, “Loss is something that is difficult on many levels. Through it all though, what helps the most, is the understanding that death is a part of life and not the end. The loss of Roman … does not take away the celebration of his life.”

Life as they knew it changed forever when Roman died.

The Koguckis work hard every day to find the strength to look past the sadness and remember Roman’s life with pride and joy.

BO’S PLACE IS...

a place where hearts are healed.

Tip #8

Acknowledge what happened and know it is okay to use the “d” words —died or death.

MEET MARTHA LUCIA.

R M E E T M A R T H A L U C I A’ S FA M I LY, THE CUERVOS.

Meet Martha Lucia’s Family. Her husband Bernardo and their children Laura and David Cuervo.

Bernardo met his wife because he accepted a last minute invitation to a party. He had no plans that day, it was a free lunch and he was hungry. “I scanned the room one more time, and there she was, smiling, a girl with the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. I fell in love with this splendid person and married her two years later.”

Martha Lucia died October 27, 2004 due to complications during treatment for breast cancer.

“How I met Martha Lucia and how she died” was the title of the three-page love story Bernardo sent me to get to know his family. I could imagine Martha Lucia’s smile when I met her family. Their smiles are beautiful, their bond strong.

It takes a lot of time, energy and support to heal. Bo’s Place is a patient place. For Martha Lucia’s family, Bo’s Place provided an environment where they could grieve at their own pace and on their own terms.

As a group facilitator for the Tuesday LIGHT group at Bo’s Place, Bernardo now shares with others the advice he once received on how to parent his bereaved children and guidance in how to help his children maintain a connection to their mother.

Life as they knew it changed forever when Martha Lucia died.

The Cuervos work hard every day to heal from the pain of their grief and to maintain the loving, close-knit family that was so important to Martha Lucia.

Tip #9

Reach out on special days...birthdays, anniversaries and holidays.

BO’S PLACE IS...

where you realize there is the possibility for hope and healing.

“Grief is not a problem you need to solve, but a process

the grieving person must go through at their own pace and on their own terms.�

MEET MAURO.

R M E E T M AU RO ’ S FA M I LY, T H E C A S T I L L E JA - S A R AV I A S.

Meet Fatima Castilleja and her two beautiful daughters, Laila and Alyssa Saravia.

The girls always loved trying to take the soccer ball away from their dad. What they didn’t expect was their dad being taken away from them.

Mauro was an amazing soccer player. His smile and the way it lit up a room is what his family carries with them to this day. As you can see, Laila and Alyssa share with the world the magnetic smile of their father and the heart of their mother.

Mauro died suddenly, unexpectedly, when Fatima was 26, Alyssa and Laila were just 5 and 6 years old.

Bo’s Place has helped Fatima to give her children “a way to meet other kids who are experiencing the same things they are and learn that it’s ok to feel the way they feel at times.”

Life as they knew it changed forever when Mauro died.

Fatima and her girls work hard every day to get through the dark days and enjoy the good days guilt free.

Tip #10

Don’t put the burden to ask for help on a grieving family. Just do it. Even the little things matter. Drive the kids to and from soccer practice, wash the laundry, mow the yard or cook a meal.

BO’S PLACE IS...

a safe place.

“Death is a part of life.”

BO’S PLACE IS...

a place of strength and support that inspires hope and healing.

ARTIST STATEMENT Death is a part of life.

Death is a passage, just as life is a journey.

Both create opportunity for the evolution of mankind.

If we talk about what we are experiencing, we can create change.

And if we can create change, then humanity as a whole will evolve.

So, life and death, let’s talk about it.

We all experience death. It happens every day, everywhere and at some point affects every one.

For many of us it is difficult to find the right words. To know how to offer comfort to the bereaved, especially a child. A hesitation to use the “d” words—death and died.

My hope is that you will take the time to read the stories and “tips” throughout the exhibit. That you will make note of the services offered by Bo’s Place.

And that you will remember.

Remember at least one tip so you may offer comfort with greater ease to someone who has lost a loved one. Remember to love well, as life as you know it could change at any given moment. And remember to hold the courage of these families in your heart as they are our true teachers.

With the bereaved in mind, I hope you receive the lessons of this exhibit with an open heart. May it inspire you to continue the conversation of life and death. And to embrace the opportunity to create change and to evolve.

It is with grace and humility that I thank the families who participated in this meaningful project, my friends at Bo’s Place and my team at the studio. It truly takes a village, and I am so grateful for all the support in this heartfelt collaboration.

My passion is photography. My destiny to teach.

Thank you to Bo’s Place for the opportunity to do both.

RomanoFamily North side of the building. (30´ wall).

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20 THIS IS NOT

R M E E T J O H N N Y ’ S FA M I LY,

BUT THE PHOTOS AND

Tip #1

Speak in the present tense.

“When is Johnny’s birthday?”

M E E T J O H N N Y.

A S A D E X H I B I T. I T I S A H A R D S U B J E C T.

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THE ROMANOS.

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Meet the Romanos.

STORIES REFLECT HOPE

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AND HEALING FOR THOSE WHO GRIEVE.

Home is where the heart is. And for Mike, Julie, Joey and Sophie Romano, it’s at the Johnny Romano Memorial Skate Park in Galveston, Texas. We had been shooting for an hour or so when we arrived at the park. The whole family, almost instinctively, came together to watch the kids skate. Maybe they were thinking of Johnny or maybe being there is like being in the comfort of their own home, whatever the case, watching their time together was meaningful.

Johnny Romano died September 23, 2008 at the age of 10 from leukemia.

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For the Romanos, Bo’s Place was a place of release —for 75 minutes every week, they weren’t alone in their grief. At Bo’s Place, they discovered how to navigate their waves of pain.

“The pain and sadness

Life as they knew it changed forever when Johnny died.

come in waves.”

The Romanos work hard every day to heal from an event they cannot change.

And in doing so, they inspire those who cross their paths.

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Johnny was a little guy and a big teacher. Skateboarding and surfing were his passions. His death, and his goodness, inspired these global communities forever and led to the creation of the nonprofit, JohnnyKicksCancer, which seeks to find a cure for childhood cancer.

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Parking Garage

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RomanoFamily South side of the building. (30´ wall).

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ABOUT BO’S PLACE AND GRIEF AWARENESS BO’S PLACE

Tip #2

When with a grieving family member, use the name of the person who died.

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ARTIST STATEMENT

As an artist, Karen’s hope is to

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reflect the essence of the human spirit through photography.

As an international photographer, whether she is photographing families at the beach, or children from the Dominican Republic, her work reflects the emotion of her subjects and their experiences. Both her artistic endeavors and her spiritual quests have enabled her to travel the world and enjoy the adventures of life. From the villages of

Founded in 1990, Bo’s Place is a nonprofit bereavement

Ethiopia to the mountains of Machu Picchu, to the third

center offering grief support services for children, families and adults. Programs, provided free of charge and available

grade classroom down the street, Karen enjoys a diversity

in English and Spanish, are based on the belief that sharing

of people and places. Her work has been published in

experiences with others in grief helps individuals navigate

numerous magazines and is part of many private and

the grief journey and move towards hope and healing.

corporate art collections.

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CHILDREN’S GRIEF AWARENESS Mayor Annise D. Parker and the City of Houston are proclaiming November 21, 2013 as Children’s Grief Awareness Day in Houston, Texas.

In 2005, Karen founded a nonprofit organization, Heart of Humanity. The purpose of Heart of Humanity is to educate and inspire through photography and creative writing. Photography exhibits, classroom teaching and collaboration with other nonprofit organizations to creatively tell their stories encompass the outreach of

Observed the third Thursday in November, Children’s

this program. As a photographer with a background in

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the painful and long-term impact that a death has in the life of a child and the importance of providing support for children during their grief journey.

Children and teens who have had a loved one die often feel alone in their grief, like nobody understands what they’re

a place to release the build up.

going through. Experiencing a death can be overwhelming for anyone, but it is especially difficult for those so young.

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BO’S PLACE IS...

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Post Oak

Parking Garage

will creatively educate.

Karen currently lives in Houston, Texas with her husband Jonathan Novitsky. She was born in St. Louis, Missouri and received her BS in Advertising from the University of Texas.

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marketing, graphic design and creative writing, Karen’s goal is to develop national and international projects that

Karen founded her business in 1995.

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Grief Awareness Day is designed to raise awareness of

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EXHIBIT INSTALLATION

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story too.

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© 2014 Photographed and produced by Karen Sachar & Co., Inc. All rights reserved.