The Civilian February 2012 by Kristen Rowlett

C I V I L I AN The

A Student Publication for the LSU Law Center Community February 2012 Volume 8 Issue 6

New York Times SCOTUS correspondent to visit Law Center Adam Liptak, the Supreme Court correspondent for The New York Times, will address LSU Law Center students and guests March 2 from 12:40-1:40 p.m. in Room 110. Liptak will discuss his transition from lawyer to journalist and recent Supreme Court rulings. He will also be the guest speaker that evening at Brad Kelley the annual Chancellor’s Council Dinner Staff Writer for members of the LSU Law Chancellor’s Council, donors and invited guests at 6 p.m. at the Hilton Capitol Center in Baton Rouge. Liptak started covering the Supreme Court for The New York Times in 2008. He writes a column on legal developments, “Sidebar,” which appears every other Tuesday. “Mr. Liptak’s position gives him access to the Supreme Court that is second to none,” Prof. John Devlin said. “His insights should be very interesting to hear.” Liptak has a long history in media law and journalism.

After law school, he spent four years at a New York City law firm specializing in First Amendment matters. In 1992, Liptak joined the Times Company’s legal department, where he worked until joining the news staff in 2002. Liptak has also taught courses on the Supreme Court and media law at the Columbia University School of Journalism, U.C.L.A. School of Law, University of Southern California Gould School of Law and Yale Law School. Liptak was born in Stamford, Conn. He received a bachelor’s degree from Yale University, where he was an editor of The Yale Liptak cont. on page 4

Phonathon raises funds for PMH First energy journal LSU law and undergraduate students “tiger talked” their way into more than $10,000 in donations to the Law Center during its first-ever phonathon this past month. Megan Bice The $10,000 Staff Writer amount ref lects the commitment of a specific monetary donation received by 150 alumni called during the phonathon. Beyond that, another 450 alumni gave favorable responses, indicating that they would consider donating but did not commit to a specific amount. Tracy Evans, director of Professional and Bar Relations, said the donations continue to pour in. “Having the law students call the alumni was a huge success because the

students are the direct beneficiaries of the donations,” she said. Jessica Smith, a 3L, participated in the phonathon, which was held at the Tiger Talk Office on the LSU campus. “One of the alumni I spoke to said she didn’t think she would give if it weren’t a law student calling,” Smith said. The top student callers who solicited the greatest number of donations throughout the four-day fundraiser included Jessica Smith, Will Joyner, Maryanna Broussard and Elizabeth Cuttner. As a result of their achievement, the four students will be having lunch with Chan. Jack M. Weiss. “It was a great way to give back,” Cuttner said. “Since I’m from out of state, it was also a good way to get in contact with the alumni.” The student participants were paid Phonathon cont. on page 4

board selected

Less than one year ago, LSU Law took a considerable leap in implementing an energy initiative expected to thrust the Law Center into the national spotlight. A handful of your peers approached the Ross Tuminello faculty with a vision Staff Writer of spearheading the second student-edited academic journal at the Law Center, and much to the chagrin of Tulane loyalists, the LSU Journal of Energy Law and Resources was born. If you take the time to read emails in between witty g-chat exchanges, you would know that the executive board of the journal was recently announced, and Journal cont. on page 4

THE CIVILIAN • February 2012

SBA State of Affairs I have to say that Barristers’ Bowl VIII was the best game yet. It was more competitive than the previous two games, and both teams came ready to play, unlike some other football game I went to earlier this semester. Congratulations to the Purple Team for pulling out a close victory and especially to its seniors who leave this school undefeated in the competition. You’ve set the standard for all those who will come after you. Kaamil Khan Hopefully, next year, the Gold Team will get a SBA President coach who spends more time implementing an offense rather than shopping for a game day suit. Regardless, none of this could have been possible without the hard work and many sleepless nights put in by Commissioner Dixon Wallace McMakin. Also, a special thanks to all those who came out for the game and the auction! You did an amazing job, especially Rylee Area, in making Dallas and Caleb’s wish to go to Disney World come true! I still don’t really understand the point of the Leap Year. How does adding one extra day in the month of February every four years keep our calendar from being obsolete? But the good news is that even though we have an extra day of school this month, we get two days off for Mardi Gras on Feb. 20 and 21. If you are an out-of-state student and have never experienced a Mardi Gras before, use Easter Break to study, and go check out the craziness that is New Orleans. If you go to a strip club though, don’t bring your credit card…not that I did that or anything the first time I went. To get you into the Mardi Gras spirit, the SBA will host King Cake with the Chancellor on the Wednesday before Mardi Gras, Feb. 15. (I wonder if I’m the first SBA president who has mentioned both strip clubs and the Chancellor in the same paragraph?) If strip clubs aren’t your thing, come check out the Family Day BBQ hosted by the 1L class on Feb. 11. All students are invited to bring their parents, significant others and children for some delicious VooDoo BBQ. There will also be music and beverages for both the kids and the adults, and we’ll try our best not to mix them up like we did last year. The 1Ls are especially encouraged to bring your parents with you to class on Feb. 10. The school will provide breakfast in the

’

hat s going on at

PMH?

February 10-11 February 11 February 13-14 February 14 February 15 February 20-21 February 27 March 2 March 10

morning. Later that night, you and your parents are invited to come enjoy Casino Night with the professors. Yeah, it’s pretty middle-school to bring your parents to school but Prof. Smith saves his best material for that day so you should take your parents to his class even if you don’t have him. February is also Black History Month. I asked Joe Cefalu to print my column in alternating colors of red, green and black but if he didn’t do that, pretend this paragraph was first. On Feb. 8, LSU Law alumnus, the Hon. Trudy M. White, will be showcasing her documentary “Troubled Waters.” It’s a moving tribute to the struggle our local community faced in its battle for equality during the 1940s and 50s. The Black Law Students Association will also host various speakers throughout the month so check the Weekly Email for more information. If you usually spend Valentine’s Day alone like Ryan French, Phi Alpha Delta still wants you to come out for their Kiss the Pig fundraiser on Feb. 14. P.A.D. will be collecting money to benefit the Animal Welfare and Protection Society. Use your dollars to vote for the professor who you would most like to see smooch a porker. P.A.D. has guaranteed that no pigs or professors will be harmed in the process. Also that week, the Legal Association of Women will be hosting a bake sale so save some of the dollars you would have put in Prof. Levy’s jar, and buy yourself a cupcake. Next month in March is the best event at the law school: Barristers’ Ball! There should be a great article in here somewhere with more information about the open bars, live band, dance floor and photo booths. Just know that attendance is mandatory. (Speaking of, Natalie Messina, will you be my Barristers’ Ball date?) Also in March, the Tax Club will host their Volunteer Income Tax Assistance program. This is a great opportunity for those who are interested in tax law or would like an easy and fun way to fulfill your pro bono hours requirement and get a nifty cord at graduation. Finally, make sure you sign up for Paws for a Cause on March 2. It’s a silly name but a great cause! The next night on March 3, come rock out with Prof. Holmes and his band at the Varsity. So even though February is the shortest month, it won’t be lacking in excitement!

Family Weekend Family Day Barbeque Legal Association of Women Bake Sale Phi Alpha Delta Kiss the Pig Fundraiser King Cake with the Chancellor Mardi Gras Holiday Flory Trials Begin Send your upcoming club or Paws for a Cause organization events to Barristers’ Ball TheCivilianLSU@gmail.com.

L S U PAU L M . H E B E RT L AW C E N T E R

Editor’s Note The Wikipedia entry for “Barristers’ Ball” includes an entire section dedicated to a discussion of the various grammatical forms of the term. The page even lists law schools across the country sorted by their decision on how to format the name of their formal event. Because we were attempting to determine a consistent style for The Civilian, Natalie Messina alerted me to the page, and I cannot say I was surprised to find this detailed list of an obscure set of facts on the online encyclopedia, but I was certainly pleased. Whether plural, plural possessive, singular or (my least favorite) singular possessive, the Will Harris entry presents a kind of ranking unlike those you find in the U.S. News Editor-in-Chief and World Report. We decided on plural possessive mainly because of grammar and readability concerns and were not influenced by the fact that Harvard Law School and Duke University School of Law use the same form. As I undertook this research to prepare for this issue, I was being constantly barraged with grammar attacks on The Facebook. As a staunch, battle-hardened opponent of the serial comma (sometimes called the “Oxford comma”), my friends tend to harass me any time they find a situation that purports to necessitate the superfluous punctuation. When I pondered a particular punctuation perplexity one night, I started to realize that, while the grammatical minutia that tends to take up most of my time is exciting, it really pales in comparison to the big picture of what’s happening at the Law Center. While I know that some readers are acutely aware of each and every mistake made in these pages, I also know that the readership as a whole is interested in knowing the answer to a very simple question: What’s going on in my community? As such, this issue is as packed with content as the coming months are with activities. Now that the spring semester is in full gear, events seem to occur in rapid-fire succession. We’ve done our best both to make sure you know what’s happening in the Law Center community and that the information is presented with as much grammatical consistency as possible.

Chancellor’s Cup

Senior Appellate Challenge

The Civilian Staff Editorial Board

Editor-in-Chief: Will Harris Managing Editor: Joseph Cefalu Associate Managing Editors: Lisa Martinez & Jessica Allain Chief Copy Editor: Natalie Messina

Staff Writers

Megan Bice Anna Brown Melissa Buza Zach Capra Morgan Hargrove Brad Kelley Casey Neale Lauren Ross Ross Tuminello

Columnists

Noah Baker Jade Forouzanfar Brithney Gardner Sarena Gaylor Matthew Haltzman Tad Hightower Kaamil Khan Dr. Love RJ Marse William Priestley Tori Whitelaw

Field Reporters Ally Champagne

Staff Artist

Lauren Anderson

Design Team

Hayne Caliva Josh Doguet Kristen Rowlett

Copy Editors

Introducing a new appellate advocacy intraschool competition for 3L students Competitors will argue cases currently pending before the U.S. Supreme Court and will not write briefs. The competition will begin on March 19 and will run for four weeks, culminating in a final round on April 11. Be on the lookout for information in the coming weeks.

Sarah Aycock Timothy Brinks Brent Cobb Sasha Dittmer Kristen Guidry Ashley Schexnayder Disclaimer: Views expressed in The Civilian, a designated public forum for student expression, do not necessarily reflect those of the editors, the LSU Law Center or its student body. If you are interested in contributing to a topic or wish to provide us with corrections, please email TheCivilianLSU@gmail.com or speak to a member of the editorial staff. http://sites.law.lsu.edu/Civilian

THE CIVILIAN • February 2012

2012 class gift project to fund auditorium podiums Alright, 3Ls. The end is near; it’s so close you can feel it. Three years have come and gone; it flew by for some, yet crawled for others. Either way, that light at the end of the tunnel is getting bigger with every passing day. You’ve paid for your bar application (this blurb will not address how big of a pain that was, but congrats to those who got it in on time), and BARBRI prep is right around the corner. With the word “graduation” sneaking into your daily conversations, it is time to address the class gift. Lisa Martinez This year, the Class of 2012 will donate podiAssoc. Mng. Editor ums to the newly renovated auditorium. The podiums will bear the school seal, which is reminiscent of last year’s class gift

Journal cont. from page 1 sitting on the throne is Editor-in-Chief Heather Kirk. Kirk, a 2L and Bush, La. native, has a background that more than justifies her position. In 2010, she earned a Masters in Law from the Université de Nice in France, where she primarily focused on environmental, coastal and admiralty law. Amidst a media circus in the Kabob capital, however, Kirk was quoted in an undocumented interview as saying, “I am taking my talents back to Louisiana.” At home in the states, Kirk went to

that hangs in the courtroom. The class gift is purchased with donations from the 3L class and support from the alumni fund. After graduation, there will be a dedication ceremony to celebrate the new additions. 3Ls should be on the lookout for Tracy Evans and the rest of the Alumni Relations staff in the lounge as graduation approaches. As director of Professional and Bar Relations, she will be collecting your donations, showering you with thank you gifts and offering certificates of appreciation for those students who wish to acknowledge their supporters. All donations directly fund the class gift, and the Law Center makes up any deficit. When students donate, they will be given the opportunity to choose from a list of three thank you gifts based on their level of contribution, including a set of etched glasses, a leather portfolio and a sketch of the Law Center.

work as a law clerk for Louisiana Sea Grant, a program designed to “promote stewardship of the state’s coastal resources through a combination of research, education and outreach programs critical to the cultural, economic and environmental health of Louisiana’s coastal zone.” Additionally, she clerked for a law firm that specializes in oil and gas law and admiralty law. Kirk’s first task as editor-in-chief will be to organize and supervise a write-on competition that will, at the very least,

mirror the process used by the Louisiana Law Review. In fact, it may very well be a concurrent write-on where students pursuing Law Review and students pursuing the energy journal write about the same topic and submit it to either or both. At this time, however, the concurrent writeon idea is just that – an idea. More on that later. In the meantime, on behalf of the Law Center community, I’d like to congratulate Kirk and the newly appointed board of the LSU Journal of Energy Law and Resources.

Phonathon cont. from page 1 $10 an hour for their work, but they all agreed there were more benefits to participating than the compensation they received. “The experience helped build the communication skills that we need as lawyers,” Joyner said. The donations go toward the Moot Court program, public interest law fellowships, privately funded scholarships, the energy law initiative and the clinic and externship program. “I would recommend that students participate next year,” Broussard said. “It’s not much of a time commitment, and a good way to get involved with the alumni side of the Law Center.” Liptak cont. from page 1 Daily News Magazine. He then joined The Times before returning to Yale University for law school. He currently lives in Washington, D.C. with his wife and two children. “We are thrilled about hearing the lessons that Mr. Liptak will

share with the Law Center,” SBA President Kaamil Khan said. “I believe that with his multi-faceted background in law, journalism and teaching media law, Mr. Liptak will be able to provide some powerful and lasting perspectives on the Supreme Court and journalism.”

L S U PAU L M . H E B E RT L AW C E N T E R

Law Center application numbers defy national trend The LSU Law Admissions Office has kept the Law Center’s application numbers steady despite recent declines at the national level. The statistics reflect the Law Center’s active recruiting efforts. Melissa Buza As of January 31, Staff Writer 2012, the Law Center received 808 applications for admittance. That number is up one percent from January 2011, when the Law

Center received 802 applications. While one percent may not seem like a lot, as of January 2012, the Law School Admission Council reported a 16.7 percent decrease in applicants and a 15.3 percent decrease in total submitted law school applications nationwide. Jake Henry, LSU Law director of admissions, credited the admissions office’s recruiting efforts for the Law Center’s applicant increase. While some law schools concentrate their recruiting efforts regionally, the Law Center is committed to a broad recruiting strategy which brings students from across the country to the halls of PMH. The admis-

sions office holds numerous road recruiting trips as well as in house recruiting events. Another recruiting tactic involves the school’s law ambassadors who portray to prospective students an accurate idea of what it is like to be an LSU Law student. At recruiting events, prospective students experience the value and importance of an LSU law degree. The admissions office aims to inspire excitement and enthusiasm among prospective students. Henry said this leads to a high degree of interest in the Law Center and, in turn, a significant volume of applications.

If I Could Change Five Things About PMH This month, I had no ideas big enough for an entire column so I decided to make it a column with several small ideas centered on what I would change at PMH. Here are the rules: Forget about practicality. Does it cost too much? Don’t care. Is it actually possible? Don’t care. Would the law school lose its accreditation as a result? Don’t care. All that matters is that it would make the RJ Marse Law Center better (or worse, if you disagree). Columnist 1. No More Escalator It’s ugly. It’s unnecessary. Half the time, one side of it is broken. I have two ideas to fix this problem. First, a beautiful staircase a la the Main Dining Room in Titanic that leads up to the second f loor. Above the staircase will be signage that directs you to the relevant places like admissions and the old law building.1 Second idea: a slide and a fire pole. There are two other staircases and an elevator that lead up to the second f loor, let’s make it fun on the way down. 2 Tell me that’s not Tom-Hanks-jumping-on-the-trampoline-in-his-apartment-inBig exciting. You can’t. 2. No Wireless Internet in Classrooms* The University of Chicago Law School did this several years ago. To me, it’s the best of both worlds. Like many students, I spend time on the internet in class. But do I really need to do that? No, and neither does anyone else for the few hours each day that we spend in class. Pinterest can wait; so can the latest ESPN Mock Draft, Gchat, and Facebook Scrabble. My attention would be better served if I were to hand write my notes, but in some classes I can’t write fast enough and there’s no copying and pasting, no deleting something incorrect, and no bold fonts or bulleted lists. Cutting off wireless access only makes sense for both students and professors. It’s possible, so let’s get it done. One caveat (and reason for the asterisk): The Internet must not 1 In the interest of full disclosure: I got totally lost when I first came to the Law Center in search of admissions to turn in application materials. That’s why I support the signs. 2 Mind out of the gutter, people.

be turned off during March Madness. That’s just ridiculous, and my editors have informed me this space is reserved only for reasonable ideas. 3. Revolving Doors to the Breezeway The law center tried to fix the broken-sliding-doors problem by…adding more sliding doors. Frankly, I’m surprised a student hasn’t been trapped in between door levels like Daniel Stern was trapped in between hotel doors in Rookie of the Year. 3 Installing revolving doors makes sense. 4. Do Something Else with the Sandwiches at CC’s Am I the only one whose jalapeno chicken sandwich has been stuck to the top of the grill, dropped onto the counter and fallen into halves, and then smushed back together in a paper bag as if it never happened? It did happen. I just saw it. I guess I could go with my other options from the refrigerator—Tasteful Tuna, Classy Chicken or a British Club Sandwich—but they all cost more than books from the Pub. OhmygodIjusthadanidea: food trucks once a week at the Law Center! Let’s see it, Mr. Khan. 5. Change the Role of the Legal Traditions Course I will tread lightly here. Traditions serves a valuable role in our curriculum by introducing us to the Civil Code and the methods of reasoning used to interpret it. For many students, that’s where the utility of the course ends and they check out once they realize they’re in a history course for the first half of the semester, never to return at the end when the useful material is taught. Most students give up on the course after trying to remember the Code Justinianus 4 and the distinction between the Commentators and Glossators.5 Traditions should be a oneor two-hour course focusing on interpretation and application of the Civil Code. Those one or two extra hours would be devoted to Torts, which really needs more classroom time—ask anyone who had Maraist. The origins of the civil law would still be taught as an upper-level basket course. 3 Hot Ice! 4 Just in the what? 5 Bad memories, amiright?

L S U PTAH U E LC I M V I. L IHA EN B •E RF eTb rLuAa W r y C2 0E 1N2 T E R

Pick your own escapade: Oscars Edition

Carlos Posas Columnist

It’s that time of year again: A period of pomp and circumstance during which you argue with your peers about a contest whose outcome you secretly care nothing about, yet use as an excuse to drink. No, not Barristers’ Bowl. This month, the Academy Awards make their way into the covetous hands of filmmakers like Disney-Pixar, whose Up won the Oscar for Animated Feature to Most Accurately Depict Cheney Joe. You’ll find no Oscar night drinking games here, though. What follows instead are opinions on the Academy Award nominees for Best Picture, from a columnist who has seen nothing but their trailers. Spoiler alert unnecessary. The Artist. An up-and-coming silent film actor falls in love with a flapper in the roaring 1920s and watches his star plummet as hers rises in this ode to black and white cinema. I pick it to win because Academy members love nothing more than French people, tap dancing and shamelessly patting their own industry on its back. Bonus points for a scene where the lead literally rips film apart with his bare hands. The Descendants. An inexplicably handsome dad takes care of two daughters while their mother is ill in this feature-length ad for Hawaii. So it’s a lot like Forgetting Sarah Marshall, just not as funny or entertaining. Director Alexander Payne did About Schmidt and Sideways, so brace yourself for old people sex. Upside? No one looks over his shoulder while the camera zooms in quite like George Clooney. Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. A boy searches New York City for the lock that matches a mysterious key that he inherited from his dead dad. Also, 9/11. It does take place in a town that some of us (ahem) are quite familiar with, but Tom Hanks makes a terrible pun about a rock. Keep your eye out for a baffled-looking John Goodman. Hugo. An English boy gets a clockwork robot from his dead dad, and it turns out to be mankind’s last hope against a rise of the machines. Or is that Terminator? I forget. Also, another mysterious key. Sacha Baron Cohen, a train station guard, chases the boy and (wait for it) slides into a giant cake. It is not Neverland, Oz and Treasure Island all wrapped into one, despite what director Martin Scorsese thinks. The Help. An Ole Miss graduate of the class of 1960-something returns to Jackson for a job with the local paper and finds Civil Rights tension playing out in the posh bathrooms of her peers. At first, the film asks whether white women are silly germaphobes or snooty racists. Then, it asks where black women will find a voice. The answer, of course, is in a white woman played by the chick from Easy A. Midnight in Paris. A struggling writer on vacation looks like Owen Wilson but talks like Woody Allen and cheats on his fiancée with the City of Lights. He may or may not travel through time, and people argue about the name of Pierre “The Thinker” Rodin’s wife. Nostalgia abounds for those of you who studied in Lyon and made decisions we could all laugh/cringe at later. Moneyball. Jonah Hill, Brad Pitt and math transform a relatively poor baseball franchise into a relatively poor baseball franchise that wins. Per the law of Hollywood clichés, they compare recording stats in baseball to counting cards at the casino. To make up for it, Pitt throws a chair down a hallway. The Tree of Life. In the 1950s, Pitt fathers a child that turns into Sean Penn in the 2000s, and the movie includes a series of non sequiturs that makes your head hurt. The way of nature and the way of grace. A salt flat. Kids dancing in pesticide. Planets and crab nebulae. The Grand Canyon. And other stuff that would put a film major to shame. War Horse. A horse wanders from no man’s land into a boy’s care, and then fights in World War I. Much like E.T. the Extra Terrestrial was about an extra terrestrial and Back to the Future was about going back to the future, War Horse is a Steven Spielberg production that clubs its audience over the head with subtlety.

L S U PAU L M . H E B E RT L AW C E N T E R

OPERATION OSCARS: Win a star-studded movie trip from The Civilian

Calling all movie moguls. If you know movies, or if you are just a good guesser, prove it. Share your picks for the upcoming 84th annual Academy Awards and have the chance to win dinner and a movie with two Civilian Editorial Board members of your choice. The Board is rolling out the red carpet and sparing no expense. Dinner options include, but are not limited to, popcorn, nachos, M&Ms, Milk Duds and Hot Tamales, washed down with a Coca-Cola or Dasani. Not quite a feast fit for a king, but given that the price of a water bottle at the movies is $4.89, we’d like to think it’s a sweet deal. Students, professors and faculty can vote for who they think will take home the gold by filling out and detaching the ballot on the back of this page. Ballots can be dropped off in the folder on The Civilian office door, which is located on the first floor across from the mens’ restroom. They must be received by Feb. 24. One winner will be chosen based on number of correct selections after the Academy Awards are announced Feb. 26. Don’t even know who Oscar is? Don’t worry. You can still have a chance to win a movie night out just by filling out and turning in a ballot. The Board will be selecting one lucky random winner in addition to the ballot with the most correct selections. Members of the Editorial Board include: Jessica Allain: what her husband doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Joe Cefalu: don’t be fooled; he will not be calling you back after the movie. Will Harris: promises to make you a personalized crossword puzzle by the end of the night. Lisa Martinez: may plan an SBA party in your honor. Natalie Messina: normally goes to the movies alone.

FUN FACT: The Academy Award of Merit, or Oscar, was sculpted in 1928 by American sculptor George Stanley of Acadia Parish, La.

THE CIVILIAN • February 2012

Tiebreaker: How

many

Academy Awards

will

‘Hugo’

win on the big night?

_____

L S U PAU L M . H E B E RT L AW C E N T E R

Strawberry Torts

Valentine’s Dinner for Two: Chicken and Chocolate

Valentine’s Day is closing in fast. If you and your sweetheart don’t want to feel like lemmings locked in a stuffy restaurant with the rest of the cow-eyed, lovey-dovey couple population, then I recommend staying in and cooking a romantic candlelit dinner at home this year. Have fun bonding with your love interest without the high costs, societal pressure and forced interaction with the plebian masses of a night out. Here is a simple, yet elegant meal to mark Tori Whitelaw Hallmark’s favorite holiday. Or if you’re single, why Cooking Columnist not indulge in a special meal and make sure your culinary skills are honed for next year. For an impressive yet easy salad, in a large bowl toss baby spinach leaves, sliced strawberries, toasted almond pieces (bonus points if you use Marcona almonds) and crumbled goat cheese together in whatever amounts fit your fancy. Dress with drizzled balsamic vinegar and olive oil to taste, or try Brianna’s Blush Wine Vinaigrette (found in most grocery stores). For the main course, I present a dish resplendent with flavors of red wine and love. The recipe serves two, but if you want to serve a bigger crowd double all of the ingredients except for the oil and chicken broth. Moulin Rouge Chicken • two chicken breasts, cut in half • 1/2 tbsp cumin • salt to taste • 3 tbsp oil • 1 tbsp sugar • splash of soy sauce • 2 garlic cloves, finely chopped • 1/2 onion, chopped in a large dice • 1 red bell pepper, chopped in a large dice • 1/4 cup red wine (use the rest for drinking) • 1 cup chicken broth • 1 bag egg noodles • 3 tbsp salted butter • 3 sprigs fresh sage, finely chopped Directions: Rub chicken with cumin and a pinch of salt. Heat oil in a tall-sided skillet. Once the oil is hot, add the sugar and stir until mixture begins to bubble. Add the chicken and brown until cooked through. While chicken is cooking add a small splash of soy sauce to the top of each chicken piece. Once chicken is cooked, add the garlic, onion and bell peppers to the same pan and cook for another five minutes until the onions begin to soften and turn translucent. Next add the red wine and chicken broth and simmer for another 15 to 20 minutes until the sauce begins to reduce a bit, making sure to turn the chicken pieces every five minutes. Serve simply with a bag of egg noodles boiled in salted water and mixed with salted

butter and sprigs of finely chopped fresh sage. And last, but certainly not least, dessert. It absolutely wouldn’t be Valentine’s Day without chocolate. If you summon the desire to cook anything, cook these mini molten chocolate lava cakes. My forays into baking have yielded some pretty disastrous results before. (The case of the exploding chocolate chip cookies comes to mind. I don’t recommend accidentally adding four times the correct amount of baking soda to any recipe.) But these cakes were surprisingly easy to make, despite my questionable oven skills.

Hunk of Burning Lava Cakes • either a muffin tin or four 6 oz ramekins • 2 oz bittersweet chocolate • 2 oz semisweet chocolate • 4 tbsp unsalted butter • 3 eggs • 1 tsp vanilla • 1/4 tsp salt • 2 tsp instant coffee • 6 tbsp flour • 2/3 cup powdered sugar, plus more for garnishing • vanilla ice cream Directions: Heat oven to 400°F. Grease ramekins/muffin tin very well (I just rubbed the end of my stick of butter over them). Combine the eggs, powdered sugar, vanilla, coffee and salt in a bowl, and whisk well for a couple of minutes until well combined and mixture starts to become a bit frothy. Place the chocolate and butter in a microwave safe bowl and microwave together in 20 second intervals, stirring each time until melted. Once melted, whisk chocolate into the egg mixture. Add the flour and mix until combined, but be sure not to over mix. Pour the mixture into the ramekins/muffin tin and bake. For the muffin tins, 11 to 12 minutes is perfect. It’s very important that you don’t overcook them, or else the middle will bake all the way through, and you won’t get any ooey-gooey chocolate lava when you cut into them. For ramekins bake a bit longer, about 13 to 15 minutes. Gently loosen the edges of the cakes with a knife, and carefully (especially if you are using the muffin tin!) flip the ramekins over onto the plate. Sprinkle the tops with powdered sugar and serve immediately with a side of vanilla ice cream. Get ready to impress the socks (and maybe other articles of clothing) right off your date. *For a daring twist on the basic cake, add 1/2 tbsp cinnamon and 1/2 tbsp chili powder to the batter. The chili powder adds an interesting depth of flavor without being spicy, I promise. If you are feeling really naughty, however, and want a red hot kick, feel free to add 1/2 tsp of cayenne pepper.

THE CIVILIAN • February 2012

B arristers ’ B owl VIII

This past month, 40 students dressed out in pads to relive Harbison celebrated with Bogie-Bombs and Vaseline later that old football glory days in front of a crowd of 300 at Memorial night. Of special mention, Gold’s only touchdown came from Stadium. The game resulted in a defensive slugfest that could Southern Law student Mark White, who enrolled in one class have made LSU/BAMA enthusiasts tired. On a brighter note, the at LSU Law for the sole purpose of playing in Barristers’ Bowl. weather was pleasant, and the LSU Law Center raised more than White has since dropped the class. Neutral: Raleigh Wolfe (Purple #22) f lubbed a $9,000 for the Make-A-Wish Foundation, which will Report by pee-wee length PAT only to later redeem himself with use the money to grant the wishes of two children. The Tom Flanagan a junior high length chip for a field goal, placing Foundation will send the children and their families to Disney World. But the highlight of the day came at Contributing Writer Purple in the lead 9-7. Predictably, everyone still hates kickers. night, when the lush and loose cheerleaders showed up Heart breaker: Instead of winning 10-9, or even calling a to the auction at Bogies in their game day attire. Pickup line of the evening went to Gordon Guthrie (Purple #20), who opened timeout, Eli J. Abad (0-3 against Purple) went AWOL as his playconversation with, “You know it has always been my fantasy….” ers demanded a storybook ending with a last minute touchdown. Eli’s refusal to take reign of his team and kick a field goal, which Unfortunately, his wish was not granted. Cheers: MVP Blaine Aydell (Purple #11) caught six passes would have won the game for Gold, perpetuates theories about for 101 yards and was a driving force in Purple’s win. For his competence as a future prosecutor of this State. Quoting motivation, Blaine channeled his pent-up aggression with past Kirk Pfefferle (Gold #26): “That kid [Eli] has a lot to learn from me. He seems doomed sightings of Gold Team players f lirting and dancing with his girlfriend, Ms. Ashley Roussel (relationship status verified at the to let bigger people walk all over him. He wouldn’t leave the field for four hours after we lost, he repeatedly made Milazzo time of this writing). Roussel was not available for comment. Cheers: Jason Harbison (Gold #99) saved Henri Dufresne- tell him he looked good in his suit, and rumor has it that he paid Savoie (Gold #22) from embarrassing the defensive prowess Natalie Messina to buy him at the auction.” of Gold by having a tackle on almost every play. The whole An investigation into these allegations is currently ongotown of Vacherie was in attendance and excused Dufresne’s lack ing. of energy on his failure to consummate his recent marriage.

L S U PAU L M . H E B E RT L AW C E N T E R

J anuary 28, 2012 FINAL: Purple 9 Gold 7

Relevant Stats:

Mark White (Gold #9/Southern) – TD, offered LSU Law scholarship under table by Weiss Tess Ikharo – (Gold #0) – Lots of passes, fun to watch! Drew Martin – (Purple #10) – TD, gave thanks to God after game for his athletic ability and hot girlfriend Jen O’Connell – (Cheerleader) – Fell down twice Chris Caswell – (Purple #18) – Power couple Caswell/Gomez was out muscled by Team Sasha for Holdridge’s crawfish boil at the auction. Team Sasha paid $1,850 to reclaim Alpha position in hierarchy Moore, Ludeau and Sudduth (commentators) - .787 of people were offended, .196 of jokes flopped, and .017 of all communication fell on deaf ears past drink 6.

Special thanks to Marcie Hartman for these photos and to Dixon Wallace McMakin for his two years of service as Bowl Commissioner 11

THE CIVILIAN • February 2012

Zill’s Repast Regional King Cake Taste-Off

Everyone knows what time it is, so I’m just going to get down to business. I chose six king cakes from three different cities to judge; here is my critique: Sucré’s (New Orleans, La.) is pretty and all, but that’s the only reason it was voted The Washington Post’s 2011 Best King Cake. You figure that a New Orleans bakery would take pride in a king cake, instead they resort to packaging a Tad Hightower Hubbard-sized iridescent bagel. Lasting impresFood Columnist sion: Melanie Anderson said it best, “I feel like I’m gonna glow in the dark after eating this.” Randazzo’s (New Orleans, La.) gets much love for being a simple, traditional king cake. Hell, they even stick the middle finger to us lawyers and hide the baby inside all by themselves. None of that do-it-yourself garbage that I attribute to our sissified generation. Do you think George Patton would’ve purchased a baby-less cake? Abe Lincoln? Didn’t think so. Lasting impression: heavy on the cinnamon, light on the frills, and winner of the People’s Choice award. Keller’s (Lafayette, La.) Where do I even start on this one? There are more filling options than hairs on Eli’s chin, each one as tasty as the last (Ladies: both fillings and hairs). Strawberry cream cheese, as un-Mardi Gras-ish as it sounds, catapulted Keller’s to the top spot. People are a little scared of the flatness and color of the king cake, but last time I checked, Columbus wasn’t scared of a flat Earth. If he found the New World, just imagine what tasting this cake will do for you. Lasting impression: it’s from Lafayette, no explanation needed. Natalie Messina’s (Baton Rouge, La.) homemade pecan praline-filled king cake. Everyone, hurry up and pester Messina to bake you a personalized king cake before the season is done. She

loves that kind of stuff, and especially loves baking for people she hasn’t met yet—she says it “makes her feel like a better person.” She snuck some pecan praline filling into mine, and I swear it was better than a Chili’s Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie®. Lasting impression: one of the best homemade cakes I’ve tasted. Messina really raised the bar for Baton Rouge king cakes. I also question the source of the recipe; there’s no way it originated in Baton Rouge’s dearth of Mardi Gras culture. Meche’s (Lafayette, La.) Home to the best doughnut in Louisiana, Meche’s Donut King in Lafayette, not to be confused with the abomination in Baton Rouge, makes a big deal about their king cakes. They may be award winning, but let’s be real; it’s just a giant donut. Make a giant apple fritter and I may be impressed, but regular doughnuts quit exciting me at the age of 14; I’ve graduated to the land of kolaches and éclairs. Lasting impression: sure, if you like doughnuts you’ll certainly adore this king cake, but why not just get a dozen glazed and let your kid throw food coloring on top? Calandro’s (Baton Rouge, La.) is a participant in the Modernist king cake movement, searching for a niche in a world dominated by purple and gold cakes. I went with the Mississippi Mud Pie filling over of a bountiful selection including coconut and German chocolate. The first cut into this cake had chocolate oozing over my hands; this is when I realized that not only does it not belong in the upper echelon of king cakes, but it also doesn’t fit the definition of a king cake. This has to be some sort of cruel joke; I feel like I’m eating a hubig’s pie. Not only that, but the filling tasted eerily similar to Snack Pack chocolate vanilla swirl. That’s actually a good thing. Lasting impression: I laud it as a culinary experiment and experience, but loathe the fact that Calandro’s advertises this as a king cake. Man up, Mr. Calandro, and tell the truth.

L S U PAU L M . H E B E RT L AW C E N T E R

L aw & O rder

Fashion Victim’s Unit

Raising the Bar: How to Look Your Barristers’ Best It’s a new semester, and there are way too many events which require you to be dressed to the nines. One of these events is the infamous Barristers’ Ball. There’s no better way to temporarily erase the Sarena Gaylor fear of upcoming exams Columnist than partying with 700 friends and indulging in an open bar. However, this isn’t your typical GIF. This is law prom. For most of us, the word “prom” invokes terrifying memories of tacky dresses, cheap suits and lots of awkward dancing. While I can’t promise better dancing (contact Carlos Nobleza Posas for lessons and/or a fab date), I can help with the dress code. So ladies, should you wear a long gown or a short cocktail dress? Both are completely acceptable for the event, though they have their pros and cons. Personally, I prefer a cocktail dress because I’m a solid five feet tall. If I wear a gown, I have a sneaking suspicion that my date will continuously step on the bottom hem. Honestly, I can’t afford to commit another Barristers’ battery, so I’ll save everyone the headache (and bruises) and avoid the long dress. Secondly, anyone who has sat in the lounge knows that it’s impossible for me to not dance. I need freedom, and a long dress just won’t cut it. The final reason I’m

choosing to go short is because I need to show off my amazing new shoes. While the dress is the bulk of your outfit, remember this is an entire look. Make the focus of your ensemble whatever you want. Now for a very important disclaimer: when I say “short dress,” I do not mean barely covering your hoo-ha. Don’t pull a Lindsay and/or Britney. Seriously, no one wants to see that side of you. Save it for the after, after party with your date. For all the beautiful, Amazon women of PMH (or those more graceful than myself), long dresses are perfect for the ball. I envy those of you who will be rocking them for a couple of reasons. You’ll get lots of attention from all of your peers. Fact: we’re all drawn to people in long dresses. If you don’t like cameras, I suggest you find another dress. People will also be more careful around you. This may not sound like a huge advantage, but trust me, you’ll like your dress a lot more if it isn’t covered in mixers. The most rewarding aspect of wearing a gown will be the ability to walk the next day. While I love my five-inch stilettos, it’s more probable than not that I will end up with a broken ankle. If you wear a gown, and especially if you’re tall, eye-catching shoes aren’t necessary to pull the look together. I do, however, caution long dresses that are super busy. It’s a lot of dress, so for the most part, I would stay away from crazy prints or hi-lighter colors. Also, avoid the giant princess dress; this isn’t your quinceañera, boo.

Gentlemen, it’s time to break out that tuxedo hiding in the back of your closet. Aside from Mardi Gras balls or another Kardashian wedding, there is no better time to wear one. If you don’t already own a tux, but still want to impress your date, you can finally thank the undergraduate frat boys for something. There are really great deals on rentals in the city because it’s formal time. Just make sure you order yours well in advance or you might be going naked. FYI that’s also unacceptable until the after, after party. For those of you who can’t figure out what to do with all those tuxedo pieces, a suit is also appropriate for the occasion. I suggest you coordinate shirt or tie colors with your date. You don’t need to necessarily match your date, but you don’t want to resemble an ugly Christmas decoration either. Student loan shenanigans got you down this semester? There’s no need to go out and spend your precious drinking money on a brand new dress or suit. If you have a dress from high school or college, wear it! Update it with new accessories and spend the extra money on getting your hair done. And guys, it’s amazing what a haircut and a new tie can do for you. Honestly, while Barristers’ Ball is the closest you’ll get to a fashion show while in law school, what you’re wearing isn’t the most important part of the night … it’s the pictures that get posted on Facebook the next day. So look your best and smile pretty because you never know where they’ll end up!

Congratulations to the first LSU Journal of Energy Law & Resources Executive Board Editor-in-Chief: Heather Kirk Senior Managing Editor: Jessica Engler Senior Articles Editor: Meghan Carter Senior Articles Editor: Amanda Harb Technology Editor: Sarah McDonagh Senior Notes and Comments Editor: Mark Assad 13

THE CIVILIAN • February 2012

The Slippery Slope

The Six Law School Characters You Never Hear About 2 3 1

Noah Baker and Matthew Haltzman are world renowned authorities in social mores of the legal community at large. The Slippery Slope is the best attempt at organizing their incoherent ramblings. This month’s topic: The six law school characters you never hear about. 1. The Guy Who Won’t Let Go of His LSAT Noah Baker & Score Matt Haltzman He may be clinging to a 1.6 GPA after the first Columnists semester but he will never let you forget that he scored a 170 on the LSAT. He serves as a constant reminder that no matter what you accomplish, no matter how well you do in life, it will never compare to scoring in the top percentile of the LSAT. Although his LSAT score has no practical application, this guy will always put his score on the top of his resume and if he can find a way to work it into the cover letter, he will. 2. I Need You to Know I was in a Fraternity He’s not worried about his J.D. His only goal is to serve as a constant reminder that he was at one time in a fraternity. The “Glory Days” are the only ones that matter, and he likes to think he can relive them by wearing his Rush Party T-shirts from 2003. It may be cloudy outside, but he’s ultraprepared, wearing his Costas in the library. You never know when the recruiters are going to come looking for a Pi Kapp, but if they do, they’ll immediately spot him by the full-window decal on the back of his jacked up F-150. Forget about OCI, meet me in the chapter room, and we’ll talk business. 3. Guy Who Doesn’t Come to Class in the Rain You get nine absences in a class, and he has already got seven in the first three weeks. A common character in the undergraduate scene, this guy refuses to give up his old ways and will only attend class if absolutely necessary. The weekly forecast calls for rain on Thursday, therefore, this guy won’t be making it to class Monday or Tuesday, and Wednesday isn’t looking good either. If you think a contract exam is tough, try walking

through the parking lot with a light drizzle. 4. Really Hypothetical Guy It’s true that we learn from each other’s hypotheticals in class. Professors can explain in greater detail when a student asks about a specific scenario. This guy, however, always seems to take it a little far: “What if, instead of a gun, he has a really sharp shoehorn, and instead of being in a bar, they’re on the moon, and instead of a stranger, it turns out to be his wife as an undercover cocaine dealer that didn’t actually have any cocaine?” Ten minutes into the hypothetical rant, you’re so far off track, all you can think about is how much cocaine could fit in a shoehorn, and what this has to do with Marbury v. Madison. 5. Catch Phrase Guy I’m pretty sure this guy closed his eyes, flipped through Black’s Law dictionary and put his finger down on one term. He took that term, memorized it, and made it his own. It doesn’t really matter what class he’s in, some way, somehow, he’ll find a way to work buzz words like “proximate cause” or “consideration” into the discussion. The defendant’s Fourth Amendment rights? Yea, we can determine that by examining PROXIMATE CAUSE. 6. The Sandbagger You sand-bagging-son-of-a-bitch. You may have heard of the gunner, but the sandbagger is much, much worse. A gunner is out in the open, his intentions obvious. The sandbagger is the weasel of the law school. All semester he’ll tell you things like “I have no idea what’s going on” or “yeah, I haven’t even opened that book yet.” But the truth is he knows exactly what’s going on, and that book “he hasn’t read” has been fully annotated and read four times. If it weren’t for his three CALIs posted publicly he would tell you that his GPA “sucks” and “probably won’t be improving anytime soon.” He tells you he hasn’t started studying for the Traditions final, and that he’s probably going to Bogie’s tonight, but he has actually memorized everything there is to know about exegesis, and he’s definitely planning to pull an all-nighter memorizing the German court systems. He tells you he hates sandbaggers, and he does it more than anyone.

L S U PAU L M . H E B E RT L AW C E N T E R

PMH Moot Court, Trial Ad Teams Compete Nationally

Top Left: Lauren Anderson, Ryan Chenevert, Lindsay Jarrell and Charles Watkins placed second at the 2011 National Pre-Trial Competition organized by Stetson University Law. Middle Left: Anna Brown, John McCormick, James Sudduth and Lykisha Vaughan placed as one of the top eight trial teams nationally at the Peter James Johnson National Civil Rights Trial Competition, hosted by St. John’s University School of Law. Bottom Left: Raleigh Wolfe, Chris Moss-Warrington, Donna Lee, and Bill Willis competed at the American Bar Association’s Section of Labor and Employment Law National Trial Advocacy Regional Competition on Nov. 12-13 in Dallas, Texas.

Top Right: Beth Aycock, Lauren Wolfe and Jordan Stone competed at the regional round of the national Moot Court Competition, held Nov. 11-13 in Jackson, Miss. Middle Right: Bradford Smith, Molly Ann Lawrence, Kelly Burris and Patrick Fourroux competed at the American Bar Association’s Section of Labor and Employment Law National Trial Advocacy Regional Competition on Nov. 12-13 in Dallas, Texas. Bottom Right: Meagan Miller, Frank Turner,Lalla V. Morris and Jim Reid participated in the American Bar Association Law Student Division’s Negotiation Competition regional on Nov. 4-5 in Dallas, Texas.

THE CIVILIAN • February 2012

Dear FUQs Reporter: Barristers’ Ball is almost here! Unfortunately, after two weeks of doing everything in my power to persuade this girl to go with me, all I can get out of her is “maybe.” How do I turn this “maybe” into a guaranteed date for the Ball? -Law school is to blame for her inability to answer questions with a simple yes or no. Brithney Gardner Columnist

Answer: Easy! Detrimentally rely on her “maybe.” Yea, go buy your suit, rent that limo, and get that corsage! Basically, leave her with the ultimate ultimatum—“You can either go with me to Barristers’ Ball or to Court. Your choice!” WARNING: This solution will also guarantee that this will be the last date you will ever go on with a girl from law school. Dear FUQs Reporter: Woohoo! Mardi Gras is coming up soon. I plan to arrive Feb. 17 and go crazy in New Orleans until I leave on the 21st! Now, a lot can happen within this time period (some of it I may not even remember). How much can I get away with at Mardi Gras… and still be able to sit for the bar? -As long as the evidence doesn’t make it on Facebook, I should be fine, right? Answer: Wait a second! Feb. 20-21 are our law school reading days! It doesn’t say a thing about Mardi Gras on the law calendar. You can’t be partying down Bourbon Street on those days. You are

supposed to plan to read, not binge … you know what, who am I fooling? Dear FUQs Reporter: Valentine’s Day is around the corner and my girlfriend keeps hinting about the gifts she wants. Does she not understand that my current occupation is “law-student” and not “lawyer?” How does she expect me to get her gifts with a negative income? -I thought only undergrad girls fell for the “ law student = money” line. Answer: Well, you could try to cash that invisible check that you receive from working all those hours at your externship. Otherwise, get to shepardizing and key-citing on LexisNexis and Westlaw. Bank on those rewards. Remember, “Focus is your friend”… and the Suga Momma your girlfriend never has to know about. Dear FUQs Reporter: So, I have a really hard decision to make. Two different guys at the law school asked me to be their date for Barristers’ Ball! I’m excited to go with either one, but I have no idea how to pick which one! How am I ever going to be able to choose between two educated, gorgeous and talented guys? -I’m not used to getting multiple “offers” in law school. Answer: Oh don’t worry; you’ll be able to do it. You’re just forgetting that law school has already shown you how to choose which one is the better choice. Remember? You pick the one with the highest GPA! I mean, what else is there to factor in . . . right? I’m sure it just slipped your mind.

Congratulations to the Volume 73 L ouisiana L aw Review Board of Editors Editor-in-Chief: Katie Circardo Managing Editor: Blair Crunk Production Editors: Blair Naquin and Tim Wynn Articles Editors: Jessica Lewis and Justin Marocco Executive Senior Editor: Marshall Perkins Senior Editors: Josh Doguet, Taylor Gay, Drew Lambert, Kevin Welsh and Joe Wilson 16

L S U PAU L M . H E B E RT L AW C E N T E R

Your

15 Minutes

Panachida while debating which member of Wu Tang Clan was the most hood. What 3 things would you bring with you if you were deserted on an island? A motorboat, a lot of beer and a kaleidoscope

Beau Byers

AGE: 23 HOMETOWN: Screwston, TX UNDERGRAD: Texas A&M How would you spend your ideal day? Nude sunning on the roof of the law school with Rick

Ryan French

AGE: 25 HOMETOWN: Baton Rouge UNDERGRAD: I’ve literally never left Baton Rouge Law school is... So easy. Everyone thinks it’s easy, right? Turn ons/Turn offs? Turn on’s:

What one person would you want with you? Tupac Shakur What is your favorite thing about law school? Drink prices at GIFs

I would rather [ blank ] instead of Anna Brown, celibacy, chocolate milk, shwarma. Turn off’s: moles, Gordon Guthrie’s hair, farting when it’s anyone but me.

What is your least favorite thing about law school? Watching all the girls in your 1L class get snatched up by upperclassmen.

How would you spend your ideal day? Breakfast at Atcha, cry for no reason, lunch at Atcha, make fun of someone to make myself feel better, dinner at Atcha, almost talk to a female, change my mind, then watch “Precious” with my boyfriends---I mean roommates.

Your favorite thing about law school? Snatching up all the 1L girls before the 1L guys have a chance.

Your least favorite thing about law school? Being out dressed by Brad Moore every day.

What 3 things would you bring with you if you were deserted on an island? Sunscreen, Settlers of Catan, my red fleece What one person would you want with you? The guy from Atcha

Law school is... the place I want to be until the “end of days.”

Your house is burning down. Besides people and pets, what is the first thing you grab as you escape? Wait, I can’t pick Ryan Chenevert? Then the photo album with all the pictures of me and Chenevert. If you were a Star Wars character, which one would you be? Is there one with 3 boobs? Your least favorite thing about law school? Vice-Chancellor Joseph’s jackets. Wait, jacket.

If you were a Star Wars character, which one would you be? Han Solo, he had awesome hair too. If you were written about in a newspaper, what would the headline say? “Attorney Accidentally Sues Himself”

The best part of waking up... is Folgers in your cup.

If you could teach any class (real or fictional) at the Law Center, what would it be? How this country should be run…5101

Anything else you want to tell us? Don’t Tase Me Bro

If you were written about in a newspaper, what would the headline say? “French reads 1,000 books in first grade”(Actual headline, The Advocate, March 13, 1994)

If you could check two things off your 2012 bucket-list, what would they be? a. Stop sleeping in a twin-size bed. b. Finally convince my dad I’m not a little bitch What is your favorite part of The Civilian? Honestly, I don’t read The Civilian.

Anything else you want to tell us? 2L Marshall Perkins is an Eagle Scout.

newspaper, what would the headline say? “Born This Way”?

Describe yourself in 3 words. Having been students in my class, you’ll know that “loves making friends!” is what I’m all about.

Prof

How would you spend your ideal day? That sort of depends on what Chancellor Weiss has on his agenda that day, and I’d prefer to think of it as “our ideal day.”

AGE(D): perfectly HOMETOWN: doesn’t your generation use “A/S/L”? I’m perfectly aged, I’m female, and I’m in and from Baton Rouge, to answer “the question you meant to ask” (Bockrath, J.) UNDERGRAD: Louisiana STate University and Agricultural and Mechaniacal College Law School: Id.

Your house is burning down. Besides people and pets, what is the first thing you grab as you escape? My trophy for “Most Improved Player” on the 1998 Colorado Rockies of the Spring Branch Little league in Houston, Texas

In your humble opinion, which LSU law professor has the most swagger? There is no question it is Bockrath. He has an extensive shotgun collection and pulls off black jeans.

Turn ons/Turn offs? Although I’ve adopted the hip party line “I really find lawyers dull, and they lack entertainment value,” I am guilty of associating with them pretty much exclusively. Please draw your conclusions accordingly.

Andrea Carroll

1L 3L

going to law school. Be president of the Hilary Duff fan club

What 3 things would you bring with you if you were deserted on an island? Are you insinuating that I’d plan to be deserted? What one person would do you want with you? Tony Horton. Oh, wait, we’re still talking about the island? Your favorite word? $%*@

What is your favorite thing about law school? This is a toss-up between weekly sushi lunch with my colleagues and Professor Levy’s comment boxes, which I just adore!

I would rather [ blank ] instead of teaching law school: True. Your house is burning down. Besides people and pets, what is the first thing you grab as you escape? Christian Louboutin collection which, admittedly, is quite small, but a girl’s got to hope life is going well for her when her house burns down, right?

In your humble opinion, which LSU law professor has the most swagger? Much to the chagrin of all of the really cool students and professors, nobody here has any of it. Except Professor Carter. If you were a Star Wars character, which one would you be? Did Star Wars characters have access to delicious desserts and champagne? If not, I wouldn’t be a character.

If you could check two things off your 2012 bucket-list, what would they be? After the 2011 I had, I have no need for a bucket list. The best part of waking up . . . is pushing down “I am a terrible mother” feelings while feeding my kids Cheerios for breakfast several hundred days in a row.

If you could teach any class (real or fictional) at the Law Center, what would it be? Whatever Professor Smith taught, but better. What is your favorite part of The Civilian? Reading outrageous, thinly-veiled gossip about myself and my colleagues. It satiates that same prurient interest as does the National Enquirer.

If you were written about in a

THE CIVILIAN • February 2012

Dr. Love

Getting comfortable with the other ‘F-word’

Do you have a question for Dr. Love?

Send us an email or Gchat us: TheCivilianLSU@gmail.com 18

L S U PAU L M . H E B E RT L AW C E N T E R

Who is your ideal Valentine?

The 15 min & What Do You Think sections are compiled by Civilian Field Reporter Ally Champagne

Ryan French. Britt Bush, 3L

Michael Heier’s crazy ex-girlfriend. I really want to get my name in The Reveille. Erik Vollenweider, 2L

Brad Pitt in Fight Club. He’s beyond hot in that movie. Natasha Corb, 1L

Once you get married, you Roses are red, Violets are only have one, permanent, blue, I’d dump my boynever-going-anywhere, friend Ryan Chenevert for Valentine. Could be worse! Joe Cefalu. Jeremy Call, 2L Jen O’Connell, 3L

Stephen Colbert because he’s funny, intelligent and has a lot of money. Paige Gallaspy, 1L

Fay Dunaway circa 1966 because she’s quite possibly the most beautiful woman of the 20th Century…and she’s Southern. Brad Moore, 1L

My ex-girlfriend Ashley Bynum. Ryan French, 3L

My ideal Valentine is the MPV of Barristers Bowl so that our lives can be like a 2009 Taylor Swift song. I’ll even be at Barristers Ball with my hair down so you can realize we belong together. Sarah McDonagh, 2L

Someone flexible. Brant Mayer, 1L

L S U PT AH U E LC I M V I .L IHA EN B•E R F eTb rLu Aa W r y C2 0E 1N2 T E R

O ut & A bOut