TOP TEN By: Jason Long Lewis Thomason
BEST LAWYER SONGS It’s summertime. A time to relax a little, go outdoors, take that family vacation, or just take some time to enjoy the fruits of your hard labor. When I think of summertime, I picture myself playing golf out at Holston Hills. Those visions invariably end with me burying myself in the front bunker at 18, trying to get the damn ball somewhere on the green. Once I push that nightmare out of my head, summertime conjures up an image of driving down the open road with good friends in a convertible on a bright sunny day and the radio blaring at top volume. With that much more preferable image stuck in my head, this month’s Top Ten List is the top ten songs involving the law or lawyers. As always, this is an entirely subjective list. If you disagree with me, please keep your opinions to yourself, at least until the DICTA editors give you permission to write your own column. 10. Here Comes the Judge – Shorty Long, 1968. A great soul/funk offering that was inspired by the classic comedy sketch from Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In. Lyrics: “Court’s in session, order in the court now. Court’s in session, can’t nobody smoke now. Here comes the judge.” I would make this the background music next time I am in Judge McMillan’s courtroom, but I know he would much prefer the next song on this list. 9. Lawyers in Love – Jackson Browne, 1983. This is Jackson Browne’s ode to lawyer couples who find themselves too busy to enjoy their romance. Lyrics: “Am I the only one who hears the screams, and the strangled cries, of lawyers in love.” As one-half of a lawyer couple myself, the lyrics are somewhat disconcerting, but still a classic song. 8. This Side of the Law – Johnny Cash, 1970. Could there be a list of songs about the law that did not include one by the man in black who made a career of performing for those who found themselves on the wrong side? Lyrics: “On this side of the law, on that side of the law. Who is right? Who is wrong? Who is for and who’s against the law?” 7. Chicago/We Can Change the World – Crosby, Stills & Nash, 1971. A classic song about the trial of the Chicago 7 and, in particular, the decision to bind and gag Bobby Seale during court proceedings. Lyrics: “So your brother’s bound and gagged and they’ve chained him to a chair. Won’t you please come to Chicago just to sing.” You’ll notice that many songs from here on out tend to be songs of protest.
Dixon Line. Still a haunting and memorable song. Lyrics: “Well, don’t trust your soul to no backwoods, southern lawyer. Cause the judge in the town’s got bloodstains on his hands.” 4. Hurricane – Bob Dylan, 1975. In fairness, this protest song, by the grandfather of all protest singers, really has only a brief commentary on the legal system. I probably could have picked a dozen other Dylan songs that fit the mold. However, I don’t think Hurricane gets enough credit, and its one of my personal favorites. Inspired by the true story of boxer Rubin “Hurricane” Carter’s conviction on murder charges. Lyrics: “The trial was a pig circus. He never had a chance. The judge made Rubin’s witnesses drunkards from the slums.” 3. I Shot the Sheriff – Bob Marley and the Wailers, 1973. Another master of the protest song genre. I challenge anyone who hears “I Shot the Sheriff ” not to immediately sing “but I didn’t shoot no deputy.” Go ahead - try. 2. L.A. Law Theme Song – For those who grew up like me, in the 80’s, hearing the opening theme song to L.A. Law immediately conjures up images of Harry Hamlin, Susan Dey, Corbin Bernsen and Jimmy Smits, enjoying the type of life we all thought we would have as lawyers. For lawyers of later generations, I suspect the theme song of Law & Order has similar emotional appeal, but I am old and am sticking with L.A. Law. 1. I Fought the Law – Sonny Curtis, 1958. Honestly, there was never going to be another number one considered for this list – when I thought of this topic, the tune immediately came into my head. A lot of interesting history here. This classic tune was originally written by Sonny Curtis in 1958. It was recorded a year later when Sonny joined the Crickets to take the place of the deceased Buddy Holly (no pressure there). The popular versions of the song you know today were performed by The Bobby Fuller Four, 1966, or if you like a little punk in your music, The Clash, in 1979. Lyrics: “Breakin’ rocks in the hot sun, I fought the law and the law won.” Get outside, enjoy the summer, enjoy some music, and enjoy being a lawyer.
6. Don’t Be a Lawyer – Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast, featuring Burl Moseley, 2018. Hear me out on this one. I came across this song while “researching” this article. Do yourself a favor, google it and watch the video. Hilarious. The chorus sums up how we have all felt at least once: “Don’t be a lawyer! Don’t do it, quickest way to ruin your life.” I particularly love the following lyric: “Daily regret of what you dreamed of as a kid – or did you hope one day, you’d find a way, to spend four years workin’ on a pharmaceutical company’s merger with another pharmaceutical company . . .” Seriously, go google this video now! 5. The Night that the Lights went out in Georgia – Vicki Lawrence, 1972. A lot to unpack in this song. Did you know it was originally recorded by Vicki Lawrence of Carol Burnett Show fame? The same Vicki Lawrence who played Mama in Mama’s Family? Of course, most of us know it now by the 1991 cover done by Reba McEntire. It does not paint a pretty portrait of the justice system south of the MasonJune 2024
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