Escaping Home

Psychological well-being, homes & third places, secondhand shopping and true stories...

Designed and written by

Kitty Williams

Content

1. Home

2. Importance of Third places

3. My third place

4. It’s an escape for me

5. Escapism - its origin

6. Secondhand shopping

7. Planning a photoshoot

“Home is the pinnacle of your psychological well-being”

Home is where you grow, where you learn about yourself but also where you face hardships and express raw emotion. Whether your home is a house, a car, or a step on the street... It’s more than just a shelter. Your home life is the pinnacle of your psychological well-being and will influence every step you take in life. So, it is important that this space feels safe.

As a child my dad was in the army, so I lived in 4 houses before the age of 7, I never really had a solid home until I was 10. However, I always felt safe, home was always a place where I was able to express my creativity and learn new things about myself. I was extremely lucky to have a creative mum, she would always encourage me to start new hobbies from ballet to sewing to drawing. Those younger years of my life where I was able to experiment and discover what I loved to do were vital for my development. I now love to sew and create new things, and my home is where I can do this. Your home should be the first place that you have freedom to create, the first place that you decorate and develop your personal taste.

A friend of mine described their home as “my own space that no one else can change or disturb”.

As you get to the age where you’re finishing education, there’s often a lot of pressure from parents to decide when you’re going to move out. As young adults our parents often compare us to them at our age. However, I found a statistic that proves in 1997 50% of people had moved out by the age of 21 whereas now the average age to move out is 25. So instead of feeling pressure to find an affordable home by 20, make your home your own. Fill your room with things that you’re passionate about and that bring you joy.

I fill my room with sewing supplies and vinyls, I use music as a way to relax. I like to snuggle up on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket, drinking a warm cup of tea with my fairy lights and a candle twinkling.

The importance of

The term third place was started by sociologist, Ray Oldenburg in his bestselling book ‘the great good place’. A third place is neither your home nor workplace but a separate place where you spend a significant amount of time. This place should offer you freedom from everyday stress and is a place where you can escape. Ray suggested that this place should encourage social interaction, conversation and community bonding and was a vital part of personal growth through exposure to new perspectives, learning from others as well as building meaningful connections; this place should offer a sense of belonging, where you are valued and accepted. These places would often be churches, coffee shops, parks and community centers.

However, this theory was written in the eighties and times have significantly changed. With the growth of technology and social media, these places are not used in the same way. There are certainly exceptions, but it is very unlikely that a group of young adults who have never met before are going to start chatting in a coffee shop and become friends. Most people under the age of 30 are glued to their phones, especially in a public area when they are alone.

Third places...

I think mobile phones offer a sense of protection from an anxiety of social interaction which has grown throughout my generation due to the use of social media and online messaging. Young adults haven’t had to experience life the way our parents did; we have been able to hide behind a screen for most of our lives, which has provoked a fear of public speaking and the outside world.

Because of this, the term ‘third place’ has changed for this new generation. Instead of it being a community space that is shared with others, it is a place where you can be alone. I think this is still very important for people to have as it gives you a chance to have a break from the stress of work and any drama that comes with friendships and family. In my opinion you should feel free and at peace in this place. For the majority of people I have spoken to this has been an outdoor space such as a field, the beach, a boat on the sea.

Nature is a wonderful thing and without even realizing it, the natural world helps to ground you, it gives you an escape from reality and provides a sense of peace and relaxation, this is why so many people feel a connection to these areas and use them as an escape from home.

As an 18 year old girl in a town, half an hour away from any city, a car is vital. Just over a year ago I had started doing driving lessons, after a few months I decided that I had saved up enough money and I was determined to find my dream car. I started looking everywhere, every minute I had on my phone, I was looking at cars. I am certainly not a ‘car person’ and have grown up in a household that knows absolutely nothing about mechanics, so this was essentially a blind hunt. All I was considering were the few factors that I had heard were important: mileage...engine size...colour? And well, that was about it.

And I did, a whole year later and my little French car has become a huge part of my life. I would definitely consider my car as my third space, if I ever feel upset, annoyed or even excited and happy, I will go for a drive, blasting any music I want and singing as loudly as I possibly can. My car is my transportation, it enables me to travel to beautiful places completely alone however, also allows room to invite the people I love to join me. My favourite place to drive to is the beach. Going to the beach offers a sense of freedom with its wide open space. I will often watch dogs hurdling across the sand, mothers chasing after giggling children, determined athletes running from one end to the other. There is certainly a sense of escapism as I sit here writing this, in my car, on the beach. I feel this sense of freedom as I have my car for protection. I am in my own bubble that no one else can break until that car door is open. It is a place where I can eat, read, sit in silence and think, a place where there is no judgement.

However, after ignoring all the advice that I was given about avoiding French cars, off I went to view an adorable 2007 Renault Clio. We arrived on a rainy day in late March, had a look around the car, my dad did the typical kicking of the tyres and lifting the bonnet and we decided it was perfect. The shiny black exterior and hints of red throughout the upholstery seemed very cool to 17 year old me (and still do now). Despite the fact it was missing a back window wiper, didn’t have working aircon and had a few rips in the seats here and there, the ‘Ripcurl’ branding throughout really sold it to me. I am a sucker for anything limited edition or collectable and finding out that this car was a limited collaboration of just 7,000 cars meant I had to have it.

My Third Place

The story behind my third place and the importance of freedom for young adults

Nannies third place...

“It is an escape for me”

I had a conversation with my nannie about third places and explained what it meant to her, she immediately decided that hers was her field that she owns. The long, downhill field is full of flourishing green grass and home to her miniature pony ‘Stary’ and Connemara pony ‘Frank’. When in the field all you can hear is the sound of birds chirping, the wind blowing through the trees and the various other joyful animal noises. When looking out onto the horizon, there is an amazing view of all the surrounding fields and houses further along. She explains that there is a feeling of tranquility when she is there, it is a place she can go and knows she won’t be disturbed.

At times, she has also made her field a communal place; we have a rather large family and for the past few years my whole family has travelled up there every Easter, my mum brings chocolate eggs and sets up an Easter egg hunt for the younger children, my aunties and uncles bring food and drink, my grandad cooks the meat on the BBQ and my nan provides the field. My nan explains that she loves to welcome the people she loves into her third space as it creates memories that make her field even more special whilst also creating amazing memories for the rest of my family. My nan is an incredible woman, she is a very adventurous person, she is always walking, cycling, catching a flight, or sailing off on my grandad’s boat. She has travelled some incredible countries and cities but at the end of the day it is so important to have a home and a place to ground yourself as well as that place that you can escape to, somewhere where you can feel free and leave all your problems behind for just a few hours and my nans field is an amazing place to be able to do this. She explains that “it is an escape” (for her) “and is for a lot of people with horses.” I have so many lovely memories with my nan in that field that I will cherish forever.

“Escapism is a multi faceted phenomenon... ...that has both social and psychological origins”

Escapism is a common psychological habit that people adopt to escape from their reality. I think it is important to consider these origins and why people feel the need to ‘escape’. The idea originated in the 1930s during the Great Depression as people around the globe were experiencing homelessness, starvation and an overall struggling economy. During this time they turned to cheap entertainment and material items as a distraction from their hard reality. Around this time cultures were changing as new technologies were being introduced such as televisions and radios; due to the great depression many people turned to these items as a way to fantasize a better life and avoid unpleasant truths. The great depression saw a spike in unemployment rates as leisure time equally increased; at this time there was a big shift in the world and caused habits that would last forever. I think it is clear that these escapist tendencies are still extremely relevant in the modern day and could even be considered worse due to the development of more advanced technology. Some of the worst habits that people have adopted are binging tv shows, scrolling through TikTok and social media, online gaming etc.

During the lockdown due to covid-19 the ‘National Library of Medicine’ undertook a study in Finland to analyse the relation of excessive gambling, gaming and internet use to escapist tendencies. The study found that all three of these online behaviors directly related to escapist tendencies. Their findings have helped them to understand that escapism is a common coping mechanism which could help them to better assess ‘risky online behaviors’. Finally, they state that “escapism is a multi-faceted phenomenon, that has both social and psychological origins.” I believe escapism often takes place in areas where people don’t feel completely safe and happy, this could be in an abusive or toxic home which often leads to a quick fix. Unfortunately, one of easiest ways for people to avoid these situations is by taking drugs and alcohol. This is why third places are so important for peoples mental health, everybody should be able to have a safe space that they can go to, to be their true selves and escape their realities for a brief moment. Unfortunately, this wasn’t an option during lockdown and caused a huge spike in depression and suicide rates as so many people were forced to be contained in their homes.

You will always find the best deals from nans and mums. Imagine your Grandma has done a spring clean, she’s riffled through hers and your grandads’ old clothes and she’s listing them on vinted, now think... how would SHE describe the clothes. So instead of searching ‘vintage, Y2K, 90s oversized baggy jeans’ search ‘wide leg jeans’.

finesse second hand shopping

In an aim to reduce my environmental impact, i love to shop on second hand clothing sites! Vinted, eBay and depop are amazing and here is my guide on how to find the BEST items:

2. 3.

Instead of spending hours scrolling through an endless catalogue of rubbish that you don’t want, use the filters. Filter the size, colour, price and brands. Then finally, select ‘newest first’ this is where you will find great items that no one else has had the chance to buy yet.

Now when you’ve found some items you like, keep looking a little further. The worst thing is when you commit to buying something and five minutes later you find that item in better condition, for a cheaper price.

Now before pressing that ‘buy’ button, remember that buying second hand is still overconsumption! Think about what you’re buying, is it just a trend that will end up being resold or donated or is it something that you will be able to wear for years to come? 84% of all donated clothes go to landfill, so remember to think before you buy! Goodluck Shop like your nan Filters

4. 5.

When you think you’ve found the perfect item, make sure you check the sellers’ reviews! As second hand sites are getting more popular, they are getting full of scammers that will rip you off. Make sure they’ve got at least 5 or more good reviews.

When people list items there’s always a bit of room to get the price down. Most sites have an option to offer your price, make sure you’re reasonable but it’s always worth trying your luck and getting a few pounds off.

In this photoshoot I wanted to capture the imagination of someone who uses books, music, gaming, tv, whatever it is that they use to escape their home. That need for freedom that so many people crave when confined to their homes.

I aimed to tell a story of someone who is alone, kept in a corner and scared to express what they’re truly passionate about. Throughout my process of planning for this shoot I considered themes of abuse and excessive behaviors and how people seek an escape from their home. I have a very vivid imagination so when reading a book, I can place myself directly in that scene and feel the emotions that character is feeling and I tried to capture this in my photography.

I captured all the elements of escapism and freedom that I could. Large open spaces, acres of flourishing grass, hair blowing in a gentle breeze, sun beaming onto rosy cheeks.

“I captured all the elements of escapism and freedom”

I styled the shoot using western inspired garments and silhouettes such as classic cowboy boots and denim however, I wanted to add elements of colour and print which I incorporated subtly in pinks and blues. All the clothing I used was either my own or borrowed from family which added a personal touch as each outfit tells a story. The brown cowboy boots have travelled all the way from America, the hat is worn daily by my nan whilst horse riding, the patterned dress has joined me on a beautiful holiday to Cyprus.

Escaping Home

A fashion & lifestyle magazine discussing Homes, Second hand shopping, the origin of third places & more