Welcome to the third issue of King Kojo Magazine. Your continued engagement with our journey has been nothing short of an honor. As the creator and curator of this publication, my mission has always been to illuminate the raw, unvarnished truth and to create a space where authenticity reigns supreme. We meet at a crossroads, where our collective growth converges, and together, we dive deeper into the labyrinth of self-discovery.
After the heartfelt conclusion of Frequencies, a theme steeped in the essence of love and healing, I found myself at a contemplative juncture. The world around us is a delicate dance between light and dark, a constant interplay of Yin and Yang. In this duality, I witnessed the overwhelming flood of superficial positivity, the exhaustion born from endless streams of negative rhetoric, and the relentless sifting through layers of filtered truth.
It was in this state of reflection that Alter Ego was born. This theme dares to venture into the shadowed corners of our culture, bringing forth what society often shuns and labels as corrupted. Alter Ego is a bold declaration that, in a world that strives to confine us within the suffocating walls of limitation, we sometimes create alternate identities—personas forged in the fires of adversity—as a means of survival, rebellion, and ultimately, liberation.
This issue is not just a collection of stories; it is a manifesto for those who dare to defy the constraints imposed upon them, who understand that the self is not singular but a mosaic of experiences, both light and dark. King Kojo Magazine stands as a testament to the power of embracing every facet of our being, and I am profoundly grateful to share this space with you.
Thank you for walking this path with us.
With deepest respect and gratitude, King Kojo Magazine
Models: Isaiah Keaton/ @rico.keaton, Imani Simone/ @theimanisimone, Damilola Oseni/ @mil0la, Kayla Alica/ @thekaylaalicia, Isa Powell/ @Liibruh, Ndeye Daro Niang/ @nay_jolie, Jehiah Alleyne/ @Jehiah Alleyne, Amani Kojo
Transparency ThroughA Mask
WHAT I S ALTER EGO
The act of putting on a mask to reach a destination, achieve a goal, or present your ideas to the world in a way that feels authentic and vital to your personal growth. The ‘Alter Ego’ becomes not just a mask but a tool of empowerment—allowing you to break free from the labels imposed on you, to embrace new identities, and to redefne how the world sees you on your own terms.
A feeling I promised myself I did not want to ever
Because the feeling of doubt isn’t something you can just simply brush off.
It pushes you to critique: Every crease, Every scar, Every imperfection, Every part of yourself that does not align with society’s defnition of elegance.
Questioning myself,
Because every mistake I’ve made has been thrown in my face from those closest to me.
My steps have been analyzed and judged to a perspective that just, Doesn’t make any sense to me.
Wondering if I’m just as good as my last mistake?
Or
If I’m human enough for you to learn from my mistake and still be the person you saw when you face.
But, then again here you are ….
Questioning me,
As if you knew every wound that my shattered pieces caused me while I picked them up.
As if you saw the blood on my fnger tips as I sacrif ced the comfort of my own; hoping to piece the puzzle better than what it was before.
As if you were there the moment I felt like I was losing my mind when the puzzle didn’t look as great, and the pieces just didn’t come together as they did once before.
Pieces to the Puzzle
Going crazy wondering if there was a missing piece or if the piece that was missing was just not supposed to be a part of this puzzle anymore?
Questioning me,
As if you were there, the night’s prayers were the only escape to my thoughts. Repeating to myself the same thing over and over hoping I’d fall asleep before my demons turned the knob.
For a while, they’d turn the knob on the door, and creep in and make themselves at home. Kicking off their shoes, Throwing on their pajamas, Getting ready for bed.
As if I invited them in and was waiting for them to just come and caress my head.
Casually reminding me of how unworthy I was and how it would be much simpler if I just ended it all.
For a while, I slept with them by my side. It wasn’t until, Did the work, Figured my worth, Packed their shit myself, and I told them “YO it was time to go!”
So for you to question me when you haven’t seen that part of my journey is beyond me.
You get to see self love. The height I hold my head to. The conf dence I walk with.
But you weren’t there when I was weak to my knees. So excuse me if my puzzle doesn’t make any sense to you, or if the words that come out of my mouth make you feel uncomfortable.
Daniel Luxx
Where I’ve Been
Where I’m Goin’ &
by: Stacey Fragile
If you asked me a few years ago I’d say…
I’m from a broken place that had no space to nurture me
I was planted in a place where pain was a comforter
My purpose was to comfort her
Mama and 4 babies under 1 comforter
I’m from a place where a good man is something you’d only hear about when momma and her friends prayed for one
A place where women did it all but be happy
Up by 4 white polo tucked into khakis; depression and poverty is a uniform
Self love was an unknown luxury,
Wondered who’s prayer he was answering that he … couldn’t get to me
Diree cole was my luxury
I’m from a place where misery loves company
Where company is my mother
I wonder.. if my shoulders carried her pain long enough to give her a break
Stay outta grown folks business but wipe grown woman’s tears
Becoming momma was my biggest fear
Church on Sunday praying God answers one day
Prayers for when it’s my turn to make better decisions
Praying she’s see what he did to me in a vision
Praying this self inficted incision makes things better
Where mommas at work so I’m learning from the televisions
I’m from where the hood isn’t just something that covered ya head, it held the dead,
Only superpower I had was how to fnd a shortcut and how to make grown men in minivans follow my lead
Where these 2 feet got me everywhere i wanted to be but not where i need
Never understood the point of planting a seed if you never intended on watering it
Where my only job is school and babysitting
Where this poem is called back talk and by 15 Haiti know me before I understand my identity
Where you know you’re loved cause the lights on
A product of your environment is what they promise
A snitch if ya honest
“Loyalty is stolen like a pair of air pods”
“Where the term nigga was exchanged for dog”
Link up on exchange, to exchange ya pain for wasted time. Link up with ya ex cause things change and you don’t wanna waste all that time
Where playgrounds turn into memorials
Where prayers are freestyles
Where being black make you f t the profle
Where a pretty dress on Sunday means your saved
“Where we smoked so much”
“Where playing hide and seek with ya smile is a lifestyle”
If you ask me today, I’ll tell you..
I’m from Hell’s backyard but there is a piece of heaven in me
Because mama prayed for me even when i wasn’t connected spiritually
Mess with me and you mess with heavens lead and become a casualty
Respectfully momma turned enough cheeks for her and me, so i won’t hesitate to abuse you verbally
Technically, even David got a lil physical biblically
Whether your a lion a bear or Goliath you put no fear in me
I’m from a place where i understand my momma did her best, Where she’s the best version of me
Where I’m teaching my lil ones how to be better than me
Teaching them Gods grace self love and wisdom is the Krabby Patty recipe
A place where understanding i don’t have to understand is my peace
Where my purpose is to get kids off the streets, where i pray on purpose
Picked up the phone and found out my calling is to use this voice
Figuring out how i react is my choice
Where my fathers graveyard turned into a school yard
The lesson is he is risen, for us
The son taught me today ain’t promised, and the spirit help me forgive to be forgiven
I’m from a place that has no hold on me, can’t shit I’ve done be used to blackmail me
Our dearly beloved we are gather here today to put who you knew to rest
Hello! It’s me, Sea! I am a 25-year-old frst-generation Haitian American, a woman of God dedicated and called to advocate for women and youth. At a young age, writing became an outlet for me when my voice didn’t feel loud enough. Ironically, a piece of paper with words became louder than my voice. This outlet has provided a space for healing, self-awareness, and empowerment for myself, other women, and youth of color. And I pray it continues to reach the right people.
Stacey Mitchell
Boston
aka Sea the Poet
J. Indigo
His music is cutting edge and truly an inspiration to any space it is played in. J. Indigo shares his world with us in an interview with Amani Kojo.
A: Alright, so the frst question is What’s your name? What’s your artist name? And what does it mean to you?
J: Well, my name is Jason, and my artist name is Jay Indigo. I came up with it when I was about 14 years old, during my frst year of high school. Around that time, I was really into the Pro Era and the whole Beast Coast pocket of rap. They talked a lot about Indigo Children and although I wasn’t really into spirituality then, it pushed me towards it and helped me when I really needed it. I started meditating and becoming more introspective. Eventually, I began going by Jay Indigo. At the time, I wasn’t really rapping; I was more focused on videography and drawing.
A: And so, do you feel like your artist name plays a signif cant role in the music that you make?
J: Jay Indigo allows the head-in-theclouds side of me to express itself. It helps me keep the child-like wonder of having ideas that there’s always something else that we can’t even fathom that’s out there. I feel like Jay Indigo is the vehicle I can use to navigate spaces when I disappear for a little bit. I’m in this whole different mode, you know what I mean? Whether it’s physically or spiritually, I’m off on my own little journey.
on my dad’s side is very artistic and active. My dad was a drummer in a band, a couple of my sisters sing and my brothers paint and DJ. There was really no way I wasn’t going to be an artist in some capacity looking back. I would go to my dads house and it was never a dull moment. My brothers were always putting me on to music and drawing while my sisters were in the living room singing their hearts out.
A: Have you always been making music?
J: I didn’t start making music until my senior year of highschool. The only reason I started rapping seriously was because I met one of my good friends Justwoz who was also a rapper. I shot a video for him, and then another friend mentioned, “Yo, you know Jay has some bars too.” So I layed a verse and he helped me get familiar with recording. Eventually, I went to Purchase, where I met everyone who I really make music with in what’s now the Babyface Music Group (BFMG) and started releasing my own music.
Jay Indigo is that vehicle for me to express that side of myself.
A: Where are you from?
J: My family is from Haiti, but I grew up on Long Island. I moved around a bit growing up between my mom and pops though, so I’ve lived in various parts of New York. Coming from a family with Haitian roots and growing up sporadically around and in the city, my life experiences give me a lot to explore creativity. Growing up around my dad’s side of the family was also infuential to my perspective as an artist. Everyone
perception, people treat you the way you see yourself. You get the respect you want by honoring yourself, and you attract it. So, a lot of what an alter ego is about is a person using their alternative self to attract what they’re chasing in life.
J: No, I completely resonate with everything you just said, like 100%. I think it’s ever-changing because, like you said, it’s for manifesting all the things you want in life. The ego can be used as a tool to dig deeper into yourself. For example, you might want to play basketball and start doing all these crazy moves. You may not be at the level of Kobe yet, but it’s the mindset you have that enables you to do the impossible.
A: People always say its wrong when you say I’m doing whatever the fuck I wanna do. Or when you have confdence in your things..
“I guess it’s as simple as acceptance.”
J: Exactly, bro. 100%. That was a big part of it too. Coming from a Caribbean household and being a young Black man with parents from another country, some people don’t understand where you’re coming from or your perspective. With that comes obstacles, you know what I mean? But you have to do what you gotta do. That was a big spark for my mental being, really putting myself in the mindset of “I’m really gonna do this shit.” I started coming up with ideas and kept rapping. Eventually, I ended up creating a brand around these characters I made.
A: It was something spiritual for you, and when you frst adopted the name, you didn’t start taking it seriously until your senior year. Afterwards, you began making music under that alias. As an artist, do you feel like your name has meant something different to you over time?
J: Yeah, because the younger me who was misunderstood and always felt like an oddball. Jay Indigo is another part of me. Just like other parts of yourself, you always have to keep revealing new aspects. As I got older, there were things I hadn’t done before or avenues of creation I hadn’t explored. So, I started making music and graphics, creating my own world through art where I could express my version of reality.
A: You know, people say that ego is bullshit, that people create their ego and it’s destructive. But I don’t think the ego is destructive. I think it is a tool for manifestation. If you use your ego and your
But yeah, 100%. I feel like everyone has that alter ego, that part of them that does things they don’t want to show other people on some superhero shit.
A: What are your motivations as an artist? Secondly, I personally think that making your own music is ten times harder, ten times more vulnerable. What was the pushing factor for you to be like, “Fuck all that shit, I’m gonna just drop my shit even if I get 5 listens, 20 listens? I’m dropping that shit”?
J: All the time, bro! It’s very much about putting yourself out there, but if you don’t enjoy what you’re doing, then what’s the point? For me this is about journaling my life through art. I can look back and see where I was at mentally and spiritually throughout my life. You gotta just go for it. Even for my frst project and even before I was really rapping, I was doing graphic design and videography. I had made my own characters that had been sitting in my sketchbook. And I was like, “yo, matter of fact,
I wanna merge those worlds together and put them out.” I wanted to create my characters and one day make my own comic book. And then I was like, all right, I could do that. Then, I started working on comics and clothing while I was rapping at the same time. I decided to make a mixtape and tie it to the drawings and the clothing.
Like it’s a whole world by itself, where people can connect to it. At frst, I thought people would think it would be weird, but then I was like, fuck it. I’ll create my own thing with a world that has a sonically rich universe that connects to characters and the clothing, that’s way you could learn about them as an experience with my art, it’s all a little pocketed universe. I’m like, “yeah, no one else is doing that shit like this.” And if they were, then at the very least I know that I’m making something that I love and would connect to the people like me.
A: You would say it’s liberating?
J: Defnitely it’s funny though because even with each project I’ve dropped thus far, I felt like nobody would connect to what I was feeling or expressing since it’s so introspective. But then I remember that as long as I’m being honest in the art you can’t lose. I remember when I played my frst project for my homies and hearing what they had to say about it. It was cool to show them and fnd my community through my work. Like, this is me being a human being.
A: With your music, what do you want people to walk away with or you as an artist?
J: What do I want people to walk away with? My music is for the people. Especially if you’re Black. You can be anywhere and still relax and fnd understanding. You feel me? We can have completely different experiences, but the language and the music can hopefully be a connection. For those who might feel weird or like the outcast or alienated, my music is like a hug for them to feel embraced in this weird world. I guess it’s as simple as acceptance- not me looking for acceptance, but like people who listen to my music can feel accepted in some way. Regardless of where you come from, I want everyone to feel a mutual understanding, like I’m here with you. Things might be a little bit messed up right now, but I’ll pull up on you and we can go to a whole ‘nother place for a little bit but also have real conversations with one another.
If I, told my side of the story
Would that shit match.
Or
Are we no longer speaking
In matter of facts.
I’ve been surviving.
Practicing not to react.
I can’t do another 4 hours
In BPD holding cell.
Can’t do another court date.
No paternity test.
Rumors & Whispers
by: Chrisxheals
We should have spoke our real intentions on that f rst date.
I am addicted
To intimacy and hopeful wishing.
That’s why
God gave me a girl.
For all the women.
I lusted, loved-ed
Lost and disrupted.
Just trying to be a present man
Fatherhood being the chance to be a better man.
Not that I am bad
Just done bad shit.
Please don’t try to “me too” me
It’s Chris.
MisCommunication seems to be the common thread in all this.
How life works
Being able to stitch together words I prefer the pen then the penitentiary I prefer my peace over trying to explain
The truth is nobody knows me
I’m always a different a man
Reinventing myself daily to care of my family.
Myself, my women and my babygirl.
Anything anyone else tells you
Your better off believing them
Cause its all rumors and whispers if you didn’t hear it from Chris...
Wormhole on Prairie Avenue
by: Luis Barroso-Louie
There’s a “tornado watch” until 3 o’clock. Which means look up occasionally, as if artists don’t already.
It also means know where to take shelter, well, artists keep 6 contingencies on deck because shadow work shines light on the fact that failure is always an option.
Sometimes the light is irresistible, everything it touches is a reminder the Sun is successful at being itself and a failure at keeping its rays under control, both things can be true.
Maybe wormholes are a tornado’s cousin-in-law. With hurricane uncles and vortex aunties, all judging the black sheep that funnels into another space, or time, or both.
When I smell rain on the Southside of Providence, near Prairie Avenue, by Rogers, I reminisce on 27 - before the most recent attempt on my life,
23 - before starting over again, 15 - before my frst drug inhaled, 10 - before words really mattered, and I space out about how my time would be different, or over, or both.
The closest we are to time travel is art, or some distant relative on a tornado’s family tree.
The closest we are to the leaves of space are the stray vines hanging from branches of time.
But today, wormholes are still absent parents.
It ref ects transformation and rebirth, becoming one’s most true authentic self. The frst two looks show the muse’s uncomfortableness in her current situation in life, being present but not really there and not feeling whole. Hence, she looks like she’s in agony. In the 3rd scene, with the blood and the dagger, she fnally has the courage to kill and destroy her false self. Removing all that no longer aligns with who she is becoming and is meant to be. This is her transformational period, and the last scene in the bathtub is rebirth/cleansing, which is a fresh start. To sum it up, it’s about breaking away from the matrix society and living authentically, embracing one’s true nature, being in peace and harmony, and creating a world that f ts you best.
Creative Director: Kyasia-Starr Williams Photographer: Rome God Muse: Neverbeengenderspecif c MUA: Brel Harmon
Assistant: Amaia
Stylist: Kyasia-Starr Williams
Set Design: Kyasia-Starr Williams
S WALLO W YO UR EGO
Dear whomever this applies
Your validation is your cage.
Your validation erases what graciousness lights your eyes
I mean
Truthfully
Fuck your validation
Fuck this impatience and entitled anxious reactions that get impressively ageless
Like
Fuck who's hating or thinking past faces of what they think they know about you
And forget what's doubtful if the source ain't you
Your validation doesn't paint your essence
A preference is what it only is
And all it will be
Waiting for my acceptance when your own self worth hits delete
You're incomplete without an opinion?
Attention based fshing for someone to notice...what?
Your good deeds?
Your kind heart?
Level of compassion?
Fasting the love you should be supplying your heart cause that's your very own responsibility
Don't blame your lack of agility on who takes you for who you are
When you don't even do that
So confused
And re using the same rehearsed lines to manifest a love so fake
Refusing to shake the detrimental ways you battle yourself
And you got the nerve to tell people you
ACTUALLY like who you are.
So willing to change the minute there's dissatisfaction
The second people need more of a reaction
Towards yourself you passive
Fuck overcompensating, you more than willing
And killing your soul means nothing if people love you
(My nigga), your words and self sacrifce ain't matching
And there's a lack of purpose in this passion
This mission to make sure you're most thought of
Or wanted around
Or desired
Because at this point you need someone to do it for you
You can't rely on you to properly accept your faws
Scars
Harmful traits and all
So selfshly, you make it another's obligation
To the point of a starvation that they show you the love that should have grew
Now it's our accountability and to me it's silly that you could think you can push that onto someone else's seeds
You're the one who isn't growing
You're the one who has blocked love
You'd dust off the truth in return for a hug
You can't love you until you're absolved
But most of all I'm sorry
I'm sorry no one showed you or told you your own love was always important frst
That anyone can think what they'd like but your own words are the last ones you hear at night
That validation means nothing when you can't face the mirror
And feel acceptance
Or vulnerable
Or a missing part of intimacy that always makes it look broken
I'm sorry you're broken
But no one can fx your pieces better than you
I just thought someone should tell you that you've always been a free spirit
- Written by Veyns the Poet
Tears Just Wanna Have Fun.
by: Luis Barroso-Louie
(Afer “Putting the FUN in Funeral” by Sadey Fournier)
At a funeral, my face is a slip-n-slide, into a log fume with a hundred-millimeter drop. Tat’s pretty steep for most tears.
A four-inch death drop with their hands raised, smiling for the camera as they scream, streaming to the bottom. Te black threads of my suit are the splash zone.
At a funeral, my eyes become experts at saying, “thank you”, “yes, I’m listening”, “no, I’m not spiraling into a death drop, I’m actually happy to be here, because this is a celebration and I want to hear your random memory instead of hiding in the bathroom taking shots of tequila.”
No longer sure where the splash zone is, all I feel is dry dampness around my neck. I had no idea a desert and a swamp could co-exist this way, but there it is:
my stale chafng skin using some sticky polyester-cotton blend as a poncho.
I spent too much time over that open casket, it feels like a broken spider web latched itself to the back of my neck.
At a funeral, I run out of things to say faster than a death drop. Faster than my eyes can lie. I wonder if my tears clapped at the end of this ride, if they immediately got back in line, if they went back to school and wrote about it as the best summer trip ever, or if they wanted to forget about it entirely because the wait in line was terrible, the food tasted like it was sunbathing in a splash zone of hot dog water & a chef’s neck sweat, and overall:
it was hands-down the worst funeral they’ve ever been to.
I’m sure it won’t be the last, I’m healthier than I give myself credit for.
I’ve been dropped so many times that bracing for impact is no longer a refex.
I’ve been hanging by a black thread for so long it feels like my Spidey senses have vertigo, that some nights wake me up from a dead sleep into the blanketed jaws of life’s death roll, leaving my insides in a sufocating negative-300-thread-count death knot, so I try to dead lif my heart out of my chest to let some dead air in and leave it at a dead drop, for Jesus, Lucifer, Odin’s son, whoever makes that dead sprint the fastest to be the frst to claim it.
At a funeral, an amusement park for tears, a polygraph for depressed dilated pupils, a winner’s podium for the Gods in charge of departed souls, a celebration for a loved one gone too soon, and I can’t help but think: this shit goes by so much faster in the movies.
Khmeii
The buzzing upcoming artist Khmeii has f lled the eardrums of her audience across stages and everyday listeners. The groundbreaking artist shares her story, her early beginnings, and her motivations with Amani Kojo.
A. Kojo: Let’s start by discussing your f rst connection with Music.
K: My f rst assembly in school, we sang this song called ‘You Can Get It If You Really Want.’ I forgot who it was by, but oh my god, I loved it! They had us doing choreography to the song, like shaking our hips. I always followed directions; the other kids didn’t want to sing or couldn’t pick up on the steps. It was so much fun for me, and I took it seriously. You would have thought this was my life’s mission. I just loved performing, and I remember at the end of the assembly, all the parents kept coming up to my mom saying, ‘Oh my god, is that your daughter?’ It just felt good, and from then on, I knew I wanted to be a singer; I wanted to be a performer
A. Kojo: When did you start making music?
K: I started writing music in the second grade—honestly, that’s my earliest memory. I had very intense crushes, and every now and then, I would journal, writing songs about them, just for myself. I would imagine I was in a music video, envisioning scenes with my crush in vivid detail. It’s ridiculous; I’m in the second grade, talking about ‘You love that girl, you don’t love me, I’m reliable... I’m the one that you need.’ What do I know about that? But, you know, I think when you feel emotions deeply, you just have to get them out somehow. And for me, that way was through music, and clearly, it started early in life. Honestly, that’s the f rst thing I ever wanted to do, and it’s still like that to this day.
A. Kojo: Second grade? You’ve been writing for such a long time. You had a pen in second grade. That’s like a whole different level of fows and lyricism, and thought patterns.
K: I never thought of it that way, but yeah…
A.Kojo: I feel like writing music is a very vulnerable art. What gave you the conf dence to say I’m gonna start putting myself out there ?
K: Honestly, during the pandemic, I started putting out my music. I’ve been writing forever; I still have a lot of songs from middle school. They were all written on loose leaf in a binder, tucked away in a box somewhere in my room. At that age, you’re young and broke. I didn’t have any resources, and my parents weren’t like, ‘Oh yeah, let’s get you in the studio.’ I didn’t think that was an option, and I didn’t know how that worked. I would constantly think about American Idol and believe that was the way to get your music heard. So, I kept all my songs to myself because, at such a young age, with no resources and nowhere to put them, what was I going to do with them?
A. Kojo: Can you elaborate on your process before and during the pandemic?
K: You know, during the pandemic, there was a lot of time. I attended LaGuardia High School, and they had
an elective for those who wrote and created their own music. It wasn’t a big elective. I auditioned for it twice and never got in. Moments like that are discouraging when you write your own music. It was like, ‘Damn, I’m not good enough for it yet.’ At the time, I probably wasn’t as conf dent as I am now, honestly. I always knew I wanted to put my music out; I just didn’t know how. Then, I got more familiar with people who were making music.
A. Kojo: How did the pandemic inf uence you to take that next step in your creative process?
K: During COVID, there was just so much time, so I was writing a lot more. I discovered a bunch of type beats on YouTube; I didn’t have any instrumentals; I wrote all these songs, but they had no background. So once I discovered type beats, and I started writing to type beats, I was like, okay this is a song… like I have a song now! I would record on GarageBand. That was my f rst time making music in 2020, and I put ‘em up on my soundcloud.
A. Kojo: How was the process of f nally sharing your music with people?
K: The f rst thing I ever put out was a f rst step. It was very vulnerable. I just had to get my feelings out, like it’s COVID—there’s nothing going on. How do I make use of this time? How do I make events for myself? How do I keep myself going when everything is stopping right now? I’m home, I can’t go outside, and there’s nothing to do. I can’t do everything that I wanted to do after high school. Shit, I didn’t have my graduation; I was gonna try training; I was gonna try to audition for different things, Broadway things, different small companies. I was gonna try to do all these things, and you can’t do those things anymore. That was ultimately when I was like, ‘All right, you know what? I could record something.
A.Kojo:Do you ever feel like you have to put on something to get past those moments of doubts?
K: All the time, I’m not gonna lie. I feel like every time I need to get something done, I have to get it done, and it’s gonna get done. Honestly, it’s the passion. What else do I have to do? People live for a lot of different things, and you know, I’m still young; the things that I live for will change. Some may argue it’s not the healthiest thing to make it your life’s worth. But this is what I have—music is what I have. Music is what I want to do, so if I’m not doing music, I’m not doing anything. So if I need to get something done, it has to get done. I’ve felt like I wanted this for so long; I’ve been writing since second grade, and I know I wanted to be performing on stages, dancing, and jumping, so I haven’t let up on my dream yet.
A. Kojo: What advice do you wish you were given to help you along your path?
K: You do need to have a certain level of conf dence. You do have to, I would say, ‘fake it till you make it’—that’s been my motto since high school. People always come up to me and tell me, ‘Your stage presence, your conf dence,’ and I’m a very anxious person. I’m always concentrating or f xated on details and about what can go wrong. I like to have everything f gured out before I go into something, or I’ll panic. I’m somewhat of a perfectionist. As an artist, you are your biggest critic, your biggest supporter, and your biggest hater at the same time. At the end of the day, ‘you fake it till you make it’ because your feelings are not facts. It’s easy to kind of trip yourself into thinking like other people or, ‘Other people won’t like this,’ being unsure of yourself, and always doubting yourself. I always have to tell myself that just because I feel this way doesn’t mean it’s true. You know, there are people who are always gonna listen to what I have to say. There are people who do like my music, and they like it enough to listen to it again. They liked it enough to share with a friend; they liked it enough to repost it. So, I’m like, people support you; people are telling you that you’re good. So I go with it. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how big you are; it doesn’t matter how small you are; everyone, at some point, feels insecure
A. Kojo: I would like for you to talk a little more about ALTER EGO. I think it’s a tool of manifestation. I think it’s a certain level of disbelief someone must have however it’s fragile. What I mean by ALTER EGO is that you’re altering your perception of self to put onto the world so the world can perceive you differently because if they perceive you differently, life will put you at the status that you believe yourself to be in.
K: I agree with what you said. ALTER EGOs are used as tools of manifestation because, in reality, it’s not necessary to pretend to be somebody else to get to where you want to be. However, you def nitely have to put on a bit of gear, you know, before presenting yourself outwardly. I try. I def nitely think there is a little bit of an ALTER EGO there for sure. I like to think of my ALTER EGO as a lovely young lady named Ling Leezy. She is me. That was my f rst stage name when I was in sixth grade, and I wrote a rap about this girl. It was a diss track, very Disney. Disney raised me, so I’ll be having my little boss main character moments. I like to think that Ling Leezy sees me on a daily basis, and to be real; sometimes it’s just hard to be. Sometimes, you are your ALTER EGO naturally, but sometimes, it comes out in front of a big crowd or new people. Especially when I’m rapping, I feel like I’m still channeling sixth-grade big-headed Ling Leezy because she wrote some Disney Channel verse about this girl, but she owned that moment. I channel her all the time. She’s not necessarily something I switch into; she’s just always peeping over my shoulder. Like, ‘Is it my time?’ But you’re right. It is used as a tool in manifestation, ultimately.
A. Kojo: How would you say your ALTER EGO differs from what people expect you to be?
I feel like a lot of us are raised and expected to be humble. I’m not buying into the idea that we’re ‘supposed to be humble’ about this and that. When you do something good, you’re supposed to tone it down, and I’m not about that. If I think it’s the best thing since sliced bread, I’m gonna say that. If I feel like it could have been better, I’m gonna say that. Be a diva. Put your ALTER EGO on. Be a little sassy. Even if it’s not normally like you, I’ll def nitely get up on stage and put on my little sweet voice. I have a couple of things that I like to do with the audience—things that never fail. I can talk to you; I can see the expressions on your face; you can see the expressions on my face. I can do little things that make you feel it’s a personalized performance. At the end of the day, I keep going back to the manifestation part of it. Even on the days when I don’t feel like I’m doing what I’m supposed to do or when I feel like I’m not where I need to be, you still have to pretend like you are. No
one else has to believe it more than you, honestly. Even if it requires a little bit of delusion, as they like to say. I don’t think it’s a delusion because, overall, I feel like I’m a really good artist. You know, I’m proud of the art that I make, and I’m very blessed to be a vessel of art where I can make music and put it out into the world. I’m very blessed that people listen to my music and are receptive to what I have to say. But you know, some days I don’t feel like that.
A. Kojo: What message would you like to leave the readers and your audience, as it pertains to your art, this interview and ALTER EGO?
K: I believe hell is a state of mind, and on this earth, you’re probably always going to be your biggest critic. Oftentimes, we restrict ourselves from doing the things we really love due to the fear of not being accepted, the fear of not being perceived correctly, or the fear of not receiving a positive response to whatever we’re doing. Many of us are just scared, and that fear can drive people to do crazy things. There are a lot of people who are afraid to live in their truth, whether it’s about dressing a certain way, presenting their gender identity, expressing their sexuality, or having different ideas. Many people don’t do what they want to do out of some sort of fear, and that’s like the worst state to live in. You’re not going to be happy if you’re constantly trying to appease others, if you’re constantly trying to make everyone else happy if you’re constantly trying to keep the peace. Ultimately, you’re the only one who has to live in your body with your brain. So, when people listen to my music, I just want them to be free. Do what you want to do. That’s my message. Do what you want to do. I feel like people need to give less of a fuck.
BE A DI VA P UT YO UR ALTER EGO ON
ALONE
by Jayden Miller-Jones
He ficked the lighter once, and the sparks few out with a pitiful exuberance.
“Shit” he thought to himself before chucking the cigarette into the street below him. He let out a sigh and looked around. The day was cold, and the city fowed around him. He turned around and walked back into the building, where he was greeted by a blonde receptionist whose eyes seemed to look past him.
“She’s ready to see you now.” He nodded and walked into the room behind her. They began with small talk, as they always had. She asked him about menial things, his work, his mother, all before settling in and asking him the real question. “What about you? How are you doing?” He glanced out the window. He knew he needed to be here, but he always hated having to come. The thought of explaining himself to anyone else made him feel queasy. He wanted to tell her something normal, that he was fne, as he would to everyone else who asked him that question, but he knew she wouldn’t accept it as a genuine response. He didn’t even accept it himself. He knew the truth. The cold reality that he woke to every morning. He was the only one who knew the answer to the question. The feeling had been hanging over him for what seemed like lifetimes. He wanted to get rid of it, but he felt he would never be able to.
She sat, patiently waiting for his response. His breathing faltered, and he slowly began to speak. “I’m…” he stammered, struggling to fnd the words to describe the feeling that hovered over him. She continued her silence as she shifted in her seat. “I’m feeling a bit lost, I guess.” He was fnally able to force the words out, immediately regretting them. He watched her nod as she asked him to explain, prompting him to continue. He thought back to the night before. How he laid in bed staring at the ceiling fan, watching it turn and turn, never stopping to catch its breath. He’d been spending more of his nights like that now, laying in his bed idly, merely existing as the world surrounding him passed by without a glance. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn’t noticed her saying his name. “Sorry, I’m just trying to fgure out the best way to explain it. I guess I just feel very disconnected. I can’t really explain why, but the world just feels removed, or maybe I feel removed from it? I don’t know.” She looked at him intently. Before she could respond, he continued, “This feeling isn’t foreign to me. I’ve felt it before, but never to this level. I feel sick. Like there’s this pit in my stomach keeping me from moving. When I ignore it, the pit gets bigger; when I think about it I’m overcome by this monstrous fear that disrupts my entire day. When I try to fx it I realize how deep the pit is. It’s like a blackhole and the more time goes on the more it consumes.” He looked at her now, realizing how much he was talking. He felt queasy again. She was the only person who could get him to talk that much and she knew it. She sat in silence for a while collecting her thoughts. She was going to respond but before she could he was explaining himself once again. “I had a dream the other night. I was inside of a mall and every door I opened led back to the frst room. Around me I could hear people laughing and talking. I heard mothers reprimanding their children, young couples giggling with joy and friends gossiping about pointless things. Something told me all of them, all of these individual groups existed somewhere behind one of these doors and to reach them all I had to do was open the right one. I heard someone call my name, I heard another person say I love you, I heard voices I haven’t heard in years calling for me. The more doors I opened the more voices I heard, but regardless of how many I opened they all led back to the same spot. I had to have opened maybe 30 doors and each time I found myself right where I started. Alone listening to the people around me.” They both sat in silence. He cried, and she hugged him. All of their conversations seemed to end this way. He hated coming here, but he knew he needed to.
War on my mind Fidelis by
War on my mind is exactly what this piece was about. At the time of this painting I found myself beginning to think and ref ect about the crisis around the world and especially in Africa that demanded and sacrif ced the humanity of innocence of so many young children. It was the understanding the thought of these children’s experiences was for me- just a thought, but for so many it was reality. This work serves as a call and reminder that no matter where they are in the word, these children are still children and deserve their innocence to be preserved. The children in Gaza; The children in Sudan; The children in Congo; The children in Nigeria; All children deserve to grow up as children. The image was adopted from a 2008 f lm titled Johnny Mad Dog directed by Jean-Stéphane Sauvaire
Maleek Rae
Innovator and multi-talented artist Maleek Rae shares a breath of fresh air and inspiration with Amani Kojo. Connecting their past and artistic expression displaying that the spirit is multifaceted.
A.K: what’s your name and what’s your artist’s name? What does your artist name mean to you?
M: My name is Malik, and my artist name is Maleek Rae, which means I’m choosing my path, making my own rules, and aligning with my lineage/ancestry.
A.K: Where are you from?
M: The Eastside of Detroit, Michigan.
A.K: Do you feel like your upbringing plays into your artistry?
M: My middle name is Rae’kwon, but my grandma always called me Rae my whole life. So, I recently went through a name change this past year. I wanted to start going by what aligned with where I’m from and the people who raised me. You know, I say, ‘I bring everybody that has ever loved me with me on stage, into every song I make, everything I do... they’re right there with me.’ That’s just my fow, that’s my greatness, that’s my soul, that’s my love and my endurance.
A.K: when did you start making music?
M: College is when I started freestyling and listening back to the freestyles. But it really was during 2020 when I was working on a project as a screenwriter/ playwright. I was writing raps for a character, and it was really dope because, in some of the raps, I would be going off, but I didn’t want people to hear me pop it like that. But for the character, it was perfect. Fast forward to 2022, I started working on my project entitled Guttah and doing acting gigs. Around that time, I was in a very ref ective stage in my life, and whenever I was getting ready to write, my preface would be leaning towards current circumstances and family. It made me think about where I was on that day. So I started working on this show, and it just spilled out as music. One of the frst songs I wrote was a remix of Biggie’s ‘Dead Wrong.’ I caught the fow and was like, ‘Whoa!’ So I just kept writing music. I would say of f cially, since August 2022.
A.K: Prior to making music, what were you doing?
M: I was acting, but I started to get into writing in 2019 and 2020. I was really getting into poetry and writing, exploring myself outside of acting. When the pandemic happened, during the shutdown, I tried to keep going with my artistry. There was just so much going on in life, and I thought, ‘Things are shut down for one moment.’ My mind drifted to the idea of quitting acting, and I told my best friend, ‘I don’t want to act anymore; I’m going to be a writer.’ But then, God landed me my frst recurring role on a TV show. There were just so many moving pieces. I had moved back to
Detroit during 2020, and then that gig brought me back to New York in 2021. I didn’t even know I was going to be moving back to New York. So, from 2021 to 2022, my life was flled with straight-up acting.
A.K: Seeing that you’re an actor that was emerging into music how was fnding the balance?
M: Working as an actor... someone did an interview recently, and she said that fghting for equal pay and fghting for what she’s worth has taken the joy out of acting for her. I’m still very joyful, you know, and I’ve been in this thing for a little bit, but still, you know, still fresh and green in some areas. But sometimes, the nature of how people deal with actors and the expectations for an actor feel limited. I wanted to feel boundless, and I didn’t always like working as an actor. It feels like people want a puppet, and I’m nobody’s puppet. Music, for me, felt like a way to really have a voice. It’s not somebody giving me a script; it’s not somebody telling me what I’m gonna say or how I’m gonna do it. I feel like it was the frst thing creatively that gave me full autonomy over my body, my voice, my mind, my life’s experiences. I needed it. I was depressed. I started to get depressed. And rap/music literally got me out of it.
A.K: what gives you the confdence to continue putting even if it’s not guaranteed that the audience will be there ?
M: I think the thing is that I am okay with being on the journey. I don’t make things so they can be popular, so I can ‘become famous and everybody knows me and is listening to this.’ This is a divine mission, divine calling type of stuff. And I know that since I write from such an authentic place, that it is so real. And a lot of times, it exposes me in a way that sometimes I listen to my own stuff and think, ‘Hey, no, I’m like, nobody hears this shit.’
Every song teaches me something about myself. Every song calls for me to go to a new level. Every song helps me grow in some way. So it’s not about who all is gonna hear it, if it’s gonna pop off, or if it’s gonna be a hit. It’s about being for me. Right now, it’s about being on this journey of growth. Damn, that song helped me get to a new level within my artistry. It taught me something new. I might never release that song, but it taught me how to do some different things on the engineering side, or it taught me a new vocal placement, or it made me write about a subject matter I’d never written about before.
So, if it’s between people judging me and me learning new parts of myself, I’ll choose the latter. Even last night, I wanted to record a freestyle because I literally wanted to put out some light. I just wanted to put out an af frmation. And I felt like it was one of the frst things I put out without overthinking it. I’m just seeing the power of creating the offering, releasing it, letting it be, and letting it do what it needs to do. It’s a little track called King Dreams.
You know, you get to a point where it becomes a requirement, something that is just a gift that you have. It’s a blessing to come onto a gift. There are all those technicalities, but I feel like my gift is something I want to honor over time.
A.K: So would you say that your motivation is offering people your gift or? What is your motivation?
M: To give the gift of me to myself. Like, I was in the car the other day bopping to my music. I don’t care if other people like it, but the truth is, if I can’t rock to it, nobody else will.
A.K: what is your opinion on the Alter Ego? And used to get you through moments of doubt. Even though it can be fragile and not as solid
M: I mean, you know I didn’t start acting until I was 16 years old. I never thought I would be an artist; I wanted to go to medical school.
But I am an only child, and it’s a lot to handle as a kid. No matter what I was going through, you know, going to school, it was like this: I’m like, okay, I’m here, and you know, school is tough. Especially being a kid, being in middle school, you know, being a kid is tough. I’m not gonna say I learned how to put on a face, but I defnitely learned how to access parts of me that helped me survive.
You know, even in moments where I didn’t feel like I could thrive, I would say, ‘Okay, these things are going to help me survive, and these things are gonna help me be respected.’ So, you know, now, being an actor, it’s the same way. You get on stage, and I’m not gonna say you bear your heart, but you bear your offering. I’ve done what I’ve been called to do. So, you’re talking about the ego. My artist name is Maleek Rae, but my birth name is Malik Reed. So I’m very aware that when I’m in my work, I’m always receiving, I’m always channeling, and things are always coming. There are parts of me that are completely different. But also, I don’t feel like just because I’m an artist, I have to give everyone all of me. I’m not on an auction block, you know? I’m not performing or sharing myself in order to be purchased. I want people to look at me and see that I’m a human.
A.K: How do you feel like artists need to take care of themselves?
M: I’m ghetto. I’m ratchet. I’m queer. I’m Black. I’m big. I’m from Detroit. I love it, but don’t fuck with me. I know who I am, so I don’t ever gotta spin the block to remind myself. I don’t need to put on a mask. These people are coming to try to put the mask on me. So, when it comes to self-care, I just feel like it’s able to come through authentically.
But I think it’s hard to get down to what your needs are when you don’t operate from your authentic self. I have been on my journey as an artist, you know? In acting school, it’s a lot about acting, but I want my life to be mine. I don’t want navigating this world to feel like a scene. I don’t want to be in conversations with people and have them feel like I’m breaking down a scene. No. I enjoy letting things be what they are.
I’m the type of person where we go see a show, and you ask me what I thought. And I’ll be like ,” Yeah, It was cool; I want some wings now.” You know, I am always an artist. Things are always coming to me, and God is always using me, but I’m also open to being used in different ways. I don’t feel like things have to always be active. I trust that if I set something down and rest on it, I’ll come back to it, and God is gonna bless me with something even doper than what I sat down with or something different.
For me, that is self-care because sometimes I have to die to my ego in order to await my purpose. It’s like that Instagram post that’s going around when everybody is saying, “I’m the bad guy, I’m the villain,” and sometimes it’s like, no, you’re not. You’re just learning how to prioritize yourself, and you’re not catching yourself on fre to keep other people’s wants in order.
It may feel like you’re the villain in that moment, but you’re not.
Sometimes we have egos that tell us, “I’m only worthy when people see me as worthy.” Sometimes you gotta say, “I can go and be everything that people told me I could never be,” and that’s my alter ego.
I feel like that’s a lot of what rap offers me because I’m a 6 foot 3 black person. But at the heart of me, I’m a genderqueer baby. I’m a prince. I’m a princess. I’d be the king, the queen, and everything in between. I know who I am, but I’m also very conscious of how the world sees me. Sometimes, because of my size alone. I’m grounded in who I am. People see me as responsible. People see me as a leader. People see me as this, and I will step up and do those things.
But sometimes, when it comes to self-care and what I need, I have to go against the grain. Other people aren’t gonna allow me to be reckless. Sometimes, I gotta go off and fnd my own way.
A.K:. Then, go through the history book. What do you want people to walk away with? What do you want them to take away?
M:I want people to take away that we’re stronger in numbers and that there’s power in the collective. There is power in the community. There is love in the community, and love is the strongest superpower we can ever possess. I’m so grateful for what I’m able to do, but it would not be the same without the people who love me. Ghetto Alchemy would not be the same if it wasn’t for Mars, 88X, Hillary Jones, Alicia Pilgrim, Camille Upshaw, and my niece Tink. I feel the community, and I feel like communities teach us so much. It’s so easy to get caught up in the individual. Those things are valid, but I think when people look back and consume my art, I want them to feel the power that is in the collective. Especially because it’s so easy to run away from the collective. It’s so easy to run away from love. Maybe that’s just being an only child, but I most defnitely want people to know that it’s okay to be loved, it’s okay to let people love you, and there are all kinds of other people. We weren’t placed here to be alone. Even the greatest artists we look up to are inspired by the people around them.
I write all of my own music. Every single lyric is from my mind, but I’m so inspired by what and who I am around. The love I am around, sometimes the chaos I am around, sometimes the bullshit I am around—all of it feeds into what I create. I don’t think I could bring forth what I’m called to bring into this world if I was just sitting in a white room by myself. After a while, it would be like, okay, what’s next?
RAT
C I T I
Reputation Reputation Reputation
Woe is me that has lost my reputation.
I have sullied my good name with my own immoralities.
I have desecrated my image and my legacy will forever be bestial.
I have impeached my place on the throne and excommunicated my standing on the pulpit.
I, that was once loved, will forever be hated.
I, that was once found in the fondness of others hearts, will now be lost to the lust of the world.
Reputation Reputation Reputation
Woe to you that has lost your reputation.
Your name that was once ordained with hearty champagne is now soaked with flthy rum.
Your image that was once that of a lion is now the hyena of the land.
You’ve forfeited your legacy and left it to be eaten by vultures.
Your crown is shattered and you have become a stranger in the eyes of the church.
The love you once knew is nothing to the hatred coming your way.
Oh you Prodigal Son, fondness can never fnd you in a place meant for the lost.
Reputation Reputation Reputation
Woe is you who have lost your reputation.
Woe to you who have banked your lottery on this false imposition
Woe to you that has lost what was never really deserved.
Your time is up.
Your mask has fallen and your true face has emerged.
For you are no exemption to the law of life.
There is no iniquity that you could have partaken in that was not going to be revealed.
There is nothing you can do in the darkness that will not be shown in the light.
For what you do in the back where no one can see, will be shown in the front where everyone will catch a glimpse.
Alexander Uzobuife
Woe truly be onto you, for your time has come.
Reputation Reputation
Reputation
Woe is he that will forever have an asterisk near his reputation.
The cascades of his immoralities is the pestilence that enmeshes his image.
Reputation Reputation
Reputation
Woe is the man who roams the earth with a bad reputation.
Ya’ll ready?
by: Chrisxheals
Ok.
This is some shit I’ve been meaning to get off my chest. I’m gonna try my best to put it into sequence.
I am a spoken word specialist
So it is no sweat.
So if my head starts to shine
I’m not nervous
It’s just my enlightenment
I’m curious to know what you would do
If you had to stand in my size 13 shoe
Considering the eyes are the windows to the soul
I’ve been staring into the mirror trying to console my soles.
Inner child, my mother texted me some pictures of a time when I would smile
So I’m trying to reclaim that time
When did I go from care free
To caring
To not giving a fuck.
I get it now,
My father wound bled on to everyone.
I don’t have friends cause I can’t risk the feeling of being abandonment
I change relationships more often then I change my draws that’s any time my behavior leaves a stain that can’t come off.
Ehhh
I had to cut the tension for a minute, come on.
You know Cleanliness is close to Godliness and my name means I’m a bearer of Christ,
so since birth I’ve had responsibility bestowed on me
That’s how a man operates
Or is it?
The powers that be turned my own kind against me, now my women look at me as predators instead of protectors. What the fuck is going on?
That’s my reoccurring question.
I could stand here and give a lecture
But the truth of the matter is it’s hard trying to do better
When everyone around ain’t doing shit.
Comfortable in their chaos.
Or secretive about their next move
Cause their is no trust,
In ourselves, our relationships and the community. What is this?
These are the conditions I gotta raise my daughter in Gotta teach her good character.
How to defend herself, so she will never victim. Give to her, until I teach her how to get it in her own.
That’s what I got to do.
Her mother and I still trying to heal our wounds, but at least we can agree to give her a life she deserves
Everything else, we leave that to the probate court.
E F I S H E R
K I N G
I N S I D E
- Written by Horane Daley
The story of the Fisher King is one of trauma. Stuck in his bed, the king cannot outlive or heal his injuries. For he sees the curing grail but projects his hurt onto it. Therefore, he stops himself from joy because of the wound of crisis. In this thought, he is evermore dubious of the people who drink from the grail.
He lives in the past, in the salvation of the memories when he fshed with more fortunate spells—a wound to his thigh from a baby bird’s beak. Crippled by the same potential in himself, he aimed to live up to. He is not ref ective enough to perceive the duality of the grail. It can resemble the gold fshing hook gifted by the Gods. Yet a chalice dangled in front of his eyes—the only cup that wouldn’t tilt from an over fow of gold energy.
He can only gratify instantly, maybe fearing the end of his life before he can enjoy anything. Forever addicted to sweet power but insecure in its direction. He is indifferent to his inner child. Forgetting that his inadequacy towards him ref ects in the ef fcacy of an unwounded life. He underestimates that someone not of the same life experience can be useful. He cannot contend with his identity and what power it has to heal the wounds of his past.
Yet there is an innocent fool that can heal him with the utter of one sentence. The place he least expects it, his inner child, is the best gift in his life. But he ignores the child because of his faults in his problem and all the embarrassing moments his shadow grinds his teeth at.
He shuns him, and in it, he ignores the deepest parts of his identity. For this reason, he cannot grasp the meaning of gold energy—the passion embedded in you for the world—the energy in a divergent societal personality. The god self you pry from the infated ego. Life has no singular purpose, but you must fnd your soul’s purpose through a spirit of exploration and inquisitiveness, a hero’s journey of ego meeting consciousness.
A pilgrimage to a subjective reality. While still knowing how to participate in objective, eternal truth. The Fisher king has not started the journey to fnd out, blinded by the darkness that gripped him in his youth. Yet, from that darkness, he cannot appreciate the light, for he hides from the darkness that shadows his life but ultimately becomes its vestige.
THE MAS K
These gold fronts can’t cover the pain
What a shame
If I front some more, would that tell you I have no pain
No tears, even when the shell is cracking
Shielding up emotions that won’t be accepted
Black shades so you don’t see my eyes
Black mask so you can’t see my face
I’ll black out everything to get through the day
And have these gold fronts on to sparkle in your eyes and play in your face
Soon as I channel this
pain into art, you call it a spectacle
But dismissed that I had to cover it up for you to accept it
