Der Stinka April 1, 2022

April 1, 2022

KHS Student Parking Lot to Be Divided: Trucks and Cars

Page 2: KJHS Sushi Bar a Hit Page 3: Genius of Twilight

By: Stinger Staff

Page 4: Dr. Craig as Bond

Due to the space demands placed upon the district to provide safe, convenient parking for student vehicles, a new rule will be implemented next year that separates truck parking from car parking.

Page 5: Flag Football is Here

Dirty, ugly, stinky little cars will be relegated to the last two rows (northern most section of the parking lot, far away to keep people from having to look at them), while all the beautiful pick up trucks, because they come in so many wonderfully different shapes and sizes, will get to park “anywhere they ‘durn well please.” They may even park on the grass adjacent to the building, or on the football field, when it’s not in use.

Page 6: Exchange Student Page 7: Wood’s D&D Game Page 8: D&D Royal Court Coming Next Week: More Stuff

“What about my jeep? Where’s my sister going to park when she drives my Jeep to school next year?” queried graduating senior Katon Lunsford.

“Jeeps are not trucks,” stated junior Cy Jones, the owner/driver of a GMC 2500 pickup.

Students who drive trucks will get priority parking passes, printed on gold foiled paper attached to specially made platinum chain lanyards to hang from their mirrors. Car owners will be given old, broken crayons and pieces of used Kleenex to make their own parking permits.

New Concession Stand Plans Approved By: Stinger Staff In addition to the new locker room facility being planned, plans for a replacement state-of-the-art concession stand at the south end of the football field were approved.

However, due to the enormous budgetary demands of the new locker room facility (see related story), the concession stand budget will only allow for a food vendor/cart. After an extensive search for an architectural design group to plan and blueprint a concession stand within the lower budgetary restrictions, the staff at Gilmour Elementary proposed a food cart similar to the one pictured.

The Administration approved the purchase and several carts have been ordered. Dr. Craig said he is currently seeking Kindergarten-1st Graders to work the food cart for school district games and events.

“Just

Because You're A Trash Doesn't Mean You Can't Do Great Things. It's Called Garbage Can, Not Garbage Cannot .”

-Y. Shigeta

December 25, 00

Fresh Sushi Bar a Hit at Kingfisher Jr High Cafeteria By: Stinger Staff The new junior high school is all new from the ground up, including the offering of freshly made-to-order sushi in the cafeteria.

Ready made sushi is available in on-the-go packages, however the majority of students seems to prefer waiting in the made-to-order line.

The quick hands of the 5 sushi chefs that were hired by the school district ensure the wait times are short and the hand rolls are tight and fresh. There are even sushi menu items for those that want to try sushi, but don’t like the fresh ingredients that are normally associated with the Japanese culinary delicacy.

Students can try the campfire beans sushi, the sweet corn roll, or even the burger patty rice roll.

To add to the uniqueness of the sushi bar, certain rolls have been created and named after distinguished KHS faculty and staff in the district.

The ever popular “Dr. Johnson roll,” is a combination of a ham and aged cheddar cheese sandwich, tightly rolled in Thai spiced noodles and covered with Japanese mayonnaise, Dijon mustard and biscotti bits. Other popular sushi menu items include the “Mrs. Leffingwell roll,” featuring grilled and shredded chicken rolled in rice and covered in spicy saltine crackers, the “Mrs. Ponce roll,” a carne asada burrito rolled in Spanish rice and served with a pico dipping sauce, and finally the “Principal Wood roll,” an 8 oz. filet mignon, tucked inside a tenderized ribeye, and rolled in bacon rice.

Editor-in-Chief Chief Photographer Advisor Advisor Emeritus High School Principal High School Asst. Principal Superintendent of Schools

Kiera Beecher Matt Miller Mr. Kurt Kaya Dr. A.J. Johnson Mr . J ay Wood Ms. Erin Michael Dr. Daniel Craig

Digital Editor Archivist / Scanner Crew Sr. Reporters Reporters

Myles Harrison Deacon Harjo, Slade Snow Josh Crawford, Jonas Stitt, Wayde Barrios Dallen Barton, Eli Johnson, Emerald Par menter, Andrew Osborn, Rayland Garner, Eli Sanders, Ayden Smith, Natalia Lupercio, Donte Almanzar, Khali Littlehawk Rhylee Toepfer Lily Fletcher, Breona McConnell Evan Banther, Lucas Conrady, Hayden Green, Myles Harrison khsstinger@kingfisher.k12.ok.us

Hannah Montana Tour Announced

Technical Staff Photography Staff Photo Interns

By: Khali Littlehawk/kk

Email Address:

Miley Cyrus has announced she is going on tour as Hannah Montana and will sing all the fan favorite songs. Tour dates will be announced in June 2022. This exciting event is held for eighteen plus because true Hannah fans were not born past 2005. With the high number of fans, tours will continue into 2024 with two concerts per month.

Forty eight lucky cities will be chosen for the dates so keep a lookout for ticket release.

Dewey, Cheatum & Howe

Attorneys At Law Got Deportation Issues?

Call us today. We’ll keep you here.

Policy Statement It is the policy of the Kingfisher School District to provide equal opportunities without regard to race, color, national origin, sex, age, qualified handicap, or veteran status in its educational programs and activities. This includes, but is not limited to, admissions, educational services, financial aid, and employment.

Inquiries concerning application of this policy may be referred to Jason Sternberger, Coordinator of Title IX and Section 504 responsibilities, Kingfisher Public Schools, P. O. Box 29, 11th and Chisholm, Kingfisher, Oklahoma 73750. Telephone 405-375-4194.

Kingfisher Public Schools provide educational opportunities to disabled students age 0-21. These services are provided in accordance with public law 94-142, which requires an approved appropriate education for disabled children ages 0-21. Any person having knowledge of a disabled child and not identified or served, please contact Jason Sternberger, Superintendent of Schools, 11th and Chisholm, Kingfisher, Oklahoma 73750 or telephone 405-375-4194.

The opinions expressed in THE STINGER are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of THE STINGER staff, its sponsor, the administration or faculty of the Kingfisher Schools.

13/1/2016

Why Twilight is a Cinematic Masterpiece By: Natalia Lupercio/kk The first Twilight book came out in 2005; the first movie came out in 2008. The books already had a big fan base. Although, the first movie was considered to be an “indie” film. Robert Pattinson was cast as Edward Cullen and Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan. The movie starts off with a scene of Bella giving the most meaningful and thought provoking monologue.

For example, Bella says “I’d never given much thought to how I would die. But dying in the place of someone I love seems like a good way to go. “ This is definitely a 100% realistic thing a 17 year old would say.

Next, Bella moves from Arizona to her dad’s place, her parents are divorced, in Forks, Washington. We get introduced to Jacob who is your lovable golden retriever and definitely will not fall in love with a baby later on. Her first day of school seems to be going normally; she’s even made a group of friends.

During lunch, she gets introduced to the Cullens. We have Jasper and Alice together, Rosalie and Emmett together, and Edward is by himself. The cullens were all adopted by Carlisle Cullen who later married Esme. This means that they’re technically related. This totally isn’t strange at all when you remember they’re also dating each other.

Later on, Bella enters Biology and Edward is in that same class. Right as she walks in a fan blows behind her and Edward covers his nose. Afterwards, he asks to change out of that class. This is exactly the way you’d want someone to react when they see you.

After school, Bella is being a relatable teenager and reading a book in the parking lot. She almost gets hit by a car but luckily Edward comes in to save the day. He then disappears and totally doesn’t gaslight her when she asks how he came to stop the car. He has dinner with her and she finds out he’s been stalking him.

To most people, this may be a turn off, but not to bella because she is a very practical person. After a while, Bella comes to the shocking revelation that Edward is a vampire, which is a totally logical explanation. She meets him in the woods; this is definitely a safe place to meet.

She then gives another amazing monologue with lines like, “You're impossibly fast, and strong. Your skin is pale white and ice cold. Your eyes change color, and sometimes you speak like--like you're from a different time. You never eat or drink anything. You don't go out in the sunlight. ... How old are you?” He reveals his awful skin that sparkles in the sun and makes him look like a monster. He takes her to meet his family. Rosalie definitely loves her.

For the rest of the movie we just see some antics go on. In the last act Bella gets kidnapped and bitten but Edward sucks the venom out. We hear Robert Pattinson singing a song during an amazing compilation of the two weeks of them knowing each other. Bella wakes up in the hospital and refuses to leave Forks.

She goes to prom with Edward and we see Jacob again. Him and Edward share some words that definitely don’t foreshadow any conflict between the two. All these events were amazingly written and if you think otherwise then you don’t get cinema.

The 4th of Walmart

Mix up in Paris Hospital Finds Dr. Craig in Bond Gear

By Stinger Staff In a fantastical mix up of identities that is worthy of a Hollywood spy movie, KPS Superintendent Dr. Daniel Craig accidentally found himself being mistaken for current James Bond actor, Daniel Craig in a hospital in Paris.

After suffering a serious case of escargot indigestion while dining with his family at a sidewalk cafe on Spring Break vacation last month, Dr. Craig checked himself into the local hospital for food poisoning observation. Later that night, a young orderly who was a huge James Bond movie fan, read Dr. Craig’s chart and mistook the heavily sedated KPS Superintendent for the English actor, Daniel Craig.

The orderly, being a fan of the James Bond movie franchise, knew that the latest Bond production was shooting just up the road in the Parisian suburb town of Issy-les-Moulineaux.

Afraid that the film would be delayed, or possibly even canceled due to its top star being hospitalized, the young orderly whisked away the still sedated Dr. Craig away to the set. By the time our beloved Superintendent awoke, he was in the actors trailer, sitting in the make-up chair and being prepped for his next stunt (a running fist and gun fight atop horses, over the rooftops of the sleepy French town).

Not having a completely thorough command of the French language, it took Dr. Craig several attempts to communicate the mistake that was made and that he was NOT the Daniel Craig they were looking for (Dr. Craig credits Google Translate on his iPhone for the save).

His indigestion cleared and finding himself on the set of a James Bond film in the suburbs of Paris, Dr. Craig was allowed to watch the scene being filmed that he almost took part in.

Said Dr. Craig to a reporter after the day was over, “I could have done the fight scene, rode the horses on top of the rooftops and shot all the guns they wanted, but at the end of the scene where Bond kisses the woman he just saved, well, I don’t think my family would have enjoyed seeing me do that…even it was only acting.”

New Locker Room Architectural Plans Approved

By Stinger Staff This year, the school district approved the plans to build a new locker room facility at the south end of the football field. The multi-use facility will be used by both the KHS Soccer squads (boys and girls) and the Kingfisher Junior High School PE students. Since the KPS district shares the Yellowjacket mascot/logo with Georgia Tech University, the district determined the most efficient way to design and build the new locker rooms would be to copy the current GT locker room layout, replacing the “GT” letters with KHS. The Yellowjacket logo, would remain the same, saving billions in licensing and artistic rendering costs. Based on Georgia Tech’s Locker Room, here are some pictures of what the KJHS locker room would look like.

T - 5 and Counting

Girl’s Flag Football League Kicks Off

By Stinger Staff With the success of Girl’s Wrestling throughout the state of Oklahoma and at Kingfisher High School last season, the administration has approved the formation of competitive Girl’s Flag Football Teams at both the middle and high school levels.

The Oklahoma City Flag Football League formed last year as an offshoot of the Strike Football League out of OKC. The Strike League began in November of 2021 and eventually built up a 20-team league. Based on that success, and the anticipated election of Joy Hofmister as Governor of Oklahoma (following incumbent Governor Stitt’s surprising enlistment in the Foreign Legion to fight the communists in Ukraine), the all girls league was approved by the OSSAA (Girl’s Only Division).

The division will be made up of 7-on-7 teams and will have a full schedule to coincide with the boys football schedule. The KHS cheer squad and band will perform at the games and concessions will also be sold. Currently, a permanent coaching staff, players and trainers are being sought to sign up and attend the summer Skills and Drill camp.

All the girls who attend the camp will learn the basics along with running drills. The camp will coincide with Jacket Summer Pride. “We are going to take the participants from the football camp, and it will be the way we build our team," said interim coach Lincoln Riley (on sabbatical from his coaching duties at USC due to a back injury he sustained walking up and down the stairs at his new megamansion in Beverly Hills).

Pictured: KJHS 7th grade girls ready to play Flag Football for the newly formed Girl’s Flag Football Team.

KHS Geometry Teacher Captures Bigfoot By: Eli Johnson/kk Breaking: Kingfisher High School Geometry teacher Sharon Clark has captured Bigfoot. She was in Southeast Oklahoma over Spring break when she first saw him. She lulled it to sleep by attempting to teach it the Pythagorean Theorem.

With her superhuman strength, Mrs. Clark hauled the beast into the back of her pickup after she tranquilized it using the angle theorems.

According to several eyewitness accounts, the creature was nine feet tall, and weight estimates fluctuated from 800-1300 lbs. Rumors have been circling around the school that the animal is trapped in her garage.

Mrs. Clark told me that she is not open to questioning from the media at this time.

March 1, 1492

Dr. Johnson's Trap Door

By Stinger Staff Conspiracy theorists and urban legend experts at KHS have long believed that Dr. A.J. Johnson keeps many secrets to himself. The first step in unveiling some of Dr. Johnson’s secrets occurred this summer.

The recent rains caused extensive damage to the Dr. Johnson’s room, as well as the entire west portion of the main KHS building, revealed a shocking secret hidden in Room 139. When Dr. Johnson’s room had to be cleared for damage repair, a hidden trap door was found beneath Dr. Johnson's desk.

On many occasions, Dr. Johnson has proclaimed to know "where all the skeletons are buried" at KHS. Whether the suit-clad living institution of the KHS staff knew about the trap door, has yet to be determined, however Johnson claims to have no knowledge of the trap door, nor does he profess to know when it was installed, who put it there, or where it leads to. Stinger Staff advises no student attempt to investigate the trap door on their own.

KHS Foreign Exchange Student 2022 By: Stinger Staff For the first time in history, KHS is hosting a foreign exchange student from Middle Earth. Cedric Centaur, who resides in the hamlet of Doroft, in the forest outside the Enchanted Forest, Middle Earth, is a freshman student this year. He is living with the Magillicudy family, just north of town. They have a small plot of land with trees and a pond, which is perfect for the visiting, 4-legged student to reside in.

“We tried giving him his own bedroom, but he prefers to live out in the trees,” says sophomore Tim Magillicudy, whose family is playing host.

Cedric is enrolled in Tech Ed and Soccer at KHS, and has proven to be an excellent Midfielder on the pitch. His four legs allow him to cover a lot more ground than the other two-legged bipeds on the team. Recently, Cedric appeared in the school drama production, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. He played, strangely enough, a Centaur in the play.

During deer hunting season, Cedric went out with a few of the local student hunters and proved to be an effective lure, especially for the does. Fellow hunter, Dallen Barton said, “Cedric would run around the woods, calling out and making rutting noises. Pretty soon, we had doe coming right for us.”

When Cedric returns to his home after this year, he plans to attend local trade school and learn how to weld.

December 14, 1799

Principal Wood’s D&D Game Will Live On By: Elrond Gygax/kk For all the faculty members who were saddened to hear that Principal Wood would be moving on next year to take over the Superintendent’s role at Dover PS, take heart. Even though Mr. Wood will not be here to helm the high school, his beloved Dungeons and Dragon’s game night will continue on.

Since his return to KHS as a teacher and administrator, faculty members in the know have enjoyed D&D night at the Wood household, with Mr. Wood as the DM (Dungeon Master, or game runner). “To say Mr. Wood is the best DM, is an understatement,” said current Rogue/Thief Mr. Thompson. He continues, “the way he role plays and sets the stage…describes the action and even pauses at the most tense moments, that’s classic stuff.”

Currently playing the 5th Edition of D&D (Eberron Campaign), the Wood D&D game has become legendary among the Oklahoma Public School System D&D network. Calls from fans and players to stream the games live on Twitch and the Geeks and Sundry network have increased.

Other long term players at KHS have expressed their desire to continue in the Wood D&D campaign, including Mrs. Sinclair (Barbarian), Mrs. Nault (Sorcerer), Mrs. Harris (Bard) and Mrs. Clark (Ranger).

The Bean By: Khali Littlehawk/kk There once was a bean and he had a limousine.

The magic bean took that limousine to get some wings for an angel who lost hers during a fight scene.

They both hopped into the limousine and got the wings. The wings are gone and so is the limousine, so now the angle and bean go looking for a fairy.

They find a fairy and she gives them more wings.

They are now full of wings, so they leave the fairy to find some place to sleep.

They find a bed on the side of the road and sleep there for a while.

They wake up and walk for a mile and then they find their limousine and go home.

The End

School Photos Available Be sure to visit

www.khsphotography.com

Pharmacists: Larry Adams & Nancy Moyeda

May 4, 1977