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When we first began brainstorming this edition of Keys Woman—The Power of Female Friendship issue—I never imagined how clearly the real-life importance of female friendships would reveal itself before we ever went to print.
After the passing of a dear friend’s spouse, I found myself unexpectedly practicing what I so often preach. Watching the outpouring of love, support, meals, messages, and presence was a powerful reminder of why cultivating strong, supportive friendships truly matters. These are the women who drop everything without hesitation, helping you pick up the pieces of your heart and your life when things fall apart.
As you turn these pages, my hope is that you’re reminded that no two friendships look the same—and that’s exactly what makes them so special. As we get older, friendships change, evolve, deepen, drift, end, or grow in new ways. None of those outcomes are bad; they’re simply real. The friendships worth holding onto, though, require intention and effort from both sides to continue growing alongside one another.
So settle in, enjoy the playlist straight out of the ‘80s, ’90s and early 2000s, and think about the women who always show up—the ones who have your back, send endless memes, laugh with you, cry with you, and somehow make your world brighter just by being in it. Friendships, much like relationships, don’t follow one rulebook; they each play by their own set of rules. Some friends are the quiet listeners, some are the cheerleaders, and some are the ones who will sit beside you in silence until the storm passes.
And then there’s that friend—the ride-or-die, street-fight kind of friend. The one who would defend your honor at a moment’s notice and has to be gently talked out of “handling it” for you so you can keep your hands clean (you know who you are). I’ve personally prevented mine from sending crickets and dog poo to a few people’s houses over the years — you’re welcome. These friends may lead with instinct over restraint, but their loyalty runs deep, and they love just as fiercely as they protect.
So give the hugs. Say “I love you” until it gets a little weird. Keep showing up. Because at the end of the day, that’s really all it takes. And all any woman truly wants is to be heard.
Cheers!
Stephanie Mitchell, Creative Director
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THERE MAY NOT ALWAYS BE A BRIGHT SIDE
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Saturday
Sisterhood
THE OLDER I GET, THE MORE I VALUE MY FEMALE FRIENDS. WE HAVE BECOME A SISTERHOOD OF SURVIVORS — SURVIVORS OF WILD ESCAPADES IN OUR LONG-AGO YOUTH, WHOSE MEMORIES EVOKE BOTH PRIDE AND RETROACTIVE TERROR; OF BREAKUPS, BAD DECISIONS AND BETRAYALS THAT REQUIRED COCKTAILS AND CONSOLATION IN EQUAL PARTS; OF HEALTH SCARES AND LOVED ONES’ DEATHS AND SO MANY YEARS THAT WE HARDLY RECOGNIZE OURSELVES IN THE MIRROR. THROUGH IT ALL, OUR FRIENDSHIPS ENDURE.
Sisterhood
of survivors
In the past, when I pictured myself aging, it always involved a scenario straight out of the classic “Golden Girls” TV sitcom: sharing a big house with my two best friends and my younger sister.
Of course we’d be far less bitchy than the sitcom’s quartet of older women, and we’d live in a wood-frame Victorian in Key West instead of the show’s generic Miami home. Since we’re all leftover hippies, our household vibe would be commune-like instead of “Golden Girls” suburban.
The basic premise, however, would remain the same — four women living together and supporting each other unconditionally through life’s later-years troubles and triumphs.
In Key West, there’s a quiet kinship among women who survived the anything-goes days of the late 1970s and early ’80s. We might not have been close friends back then, and we probably competed for some of the same men. Now, however, there’s an unspoken and unbreakable bond between us.
We shared a rare era of experiences that burned us and shaped us, and adventures we wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. We’re rueful and wrinkled and slower than we used to be. We bear a few scars — some visible and some unseen.
But thanks to sheer luck and grace, we’re still here.
There’s a subtle comfort in spending time with women who knew you “back in the day” — who understand your story and your struggles. When a new challenge rears its head, they don’t need a complicated explanation to realize why you’re falling apart. They just show up.
That’s what my female friends did five years ago, when my husband David passed away after a brave battle with cancer.
One insisted that we maintain a decades-old tradition of special dinners at her house, and she sat in David’s place at the table so I wouldn’t have to face an empty chair. One kept appearing at my door, bringing homemade soup and plants for me to nurture. One stayed with me whenever she was in town, suggesting movie nights and projects and shopping trips that helped fill the strangely hollow hours.
My younger sister checked in every day for months, becoming an inspiration for positive living in difficult circumstances.
Half a dozen women from my wild-child past sent notes and invitations — even though I hadn’t seen them for years, despite living on the same island.
Slowly, thanks to undemanding support from all of them, I built a new life.
A year ago, I took part in an onstage forum with several women friends from “back in the day” — brought together by Tony “Fat” Yaniz to tell stories about our adventurous pasts, when Key West was a town of freewheeling outlaws and escapees from the mainstream.
The audience listened, enthralled, as we spun tales of pot smuggling and pirate lovers, improbable experiences and unforgettable characters.
At the end, the applause was fervent — but it didn’t feel like the simple acknowledgement of a nice evening. It felt like appreciation for the era we’d lived through, and the women we had (somehow) become.
In the literal sense, my vision of a “Golden Girls” situation, a group of female friends sharing one comfortable home, probably won’t come true. But in the metaphorical sense, it already has.
We might not inhabit a sprawling Victorian house together, but we inhabit an island. Our addresses are different, but we look after each other like roommates anyway — pooling resources, trading recommendations for books and massage therapists, enjoying lunches and laughter.
We accompany each other to scary medical appointments. We meet for art openings and trivia nights, and fill in for absent family members.
Enduring friendships can be messy. There are arguments and forgiveness, pauses and resumptions in communication. Yet even after surface disturbances, when the chips are down, we show up for each other.
Somehow, despite death-defying exploits when we were young and crazy, we survived. Decades later, in honor of that survival, we forged an unexpected and wonderful sisterhood … and I will never stop being grateful for it.
From Hemingway to ‘Femingway’
WHY FEMALE FRIENDSHIP IS THE TRUEST LOVE STORY...
Raise your hand if someone you love has stressed you out. Now raise your hand if venting to a friend gives you instant relief. Exactly.
We all know of Ernest Hemingway. The hard-drinking author believed men stayed sane by standing shoulder to shoulder in silence. Friendship, in his world, was forged through shared danger. Intimacy was expressed without words. Men survived by enduring — together, but quietly.
But Hemingway never explored how women stayed sane. (Which could help explain his multiple wives.)
Femingway — if I may — is my belief that women survive, and thrive, by sitting face to face in conversation. By watching what the world throws at us, claiming what we deserve and helping each other dodge what we do not. We stay grounded not through conquest or quiet, but through witness, celebration and validation — and through friendships that say, I see you; I believe you. You’re not crazy.
A recent Vogue article suggested that boyfriends are currently “embarrassing,” largely because many women aren’t getting the better end of the deal. There’s also a frequently cited statistic that shows married
men and single women report higher happiness levels than their single and married counterparts, respectively. Make of that what you will — but it may explain why the beloved sitcom “Golden Girls” feels less like nostalgia and more like a blueprint.
Perhaps the goal isn’t to reject romance, but to redefine the role men play in it and in our lives. They can be the cherry on top, but we must be the whole dessert — and resist deserting ourselves while baking the one and only precious little life we get.
And yet, I still hear those familiar refrains: You’ll find your person. He’s out there somewhere. As if my life is incomplete without a man around to mess it up. Life is already full. Careers. Caregiving. Children. Money. Aging parents. Love. Loss. Hormones. Hope. Disappointment. Cortisol runs high. Sometimes, a man is simply one of many stressors.
And the antidote isn’t a solution — it’s telling the story to a woman who knows how to listen without trying to land the plane. We don’t always want problems solved. We want them heard. Witnessed. Validated. Men aren’t poor listeners — they’re just often listening for an ending many women aren’t trying to reach.
Female friendships arrive already ready. They regulate our emotions, preserve our reality and safeguard our sanity. They remind us who we are when grief, stress or love temporarily erases our sense of self. Friends are the polish and elbow grease required to remove the tarnish of the world — and help us shine again and again.
From training bras and braces to first heartbreaks and first cars. From weddings and funerals to new babies, lost parents, pets
and the youthful versions of ourselves. Our female friends bear witness not only to our triumphs, but to the moments when we are barely holding on — when we need someone to remind us that this, too, will pass. And ideally, they’ll crack the right joke at the right time to assure us that life is absurdly, beautifully, survivably funny.
Yes, many couples create magic together, and that is admirable. Relationships are among the hardest ships to maintain. But in my experience, women are often the ones paddling furiously to keep the boat afloat — while their friends scream encouraging words from the shore with towels and wine already waiting.
Without instruction or hesitation, our girls bring the humor, wisdom and support we need to persevere with style and grace. They are the cheerleaders, the truth-tellers, the keepers of our stories. These friendships deserve to be treasured not only for our sanity, but because they remind us of who we are beyond the titles — daughters, mothers, partners and professionals — we strive to be.
Hemingway’s men go to war together.
Femingway’s women go through life together.
Hemingway’s friendships keep men alive.
Femingway’s friendships keep women whole.
These bonds are not consolation prizes. They are the scaffolding of a life well lived. They allow women to love without vanishing, endure without erasing and thrive without apology.
If Hemingway taught men how to survive, Femingway reminds women how we rise — together — in a world that often expects us to fold, one by one.
And in that rising, we learn the quietest, most radical truth of all:
We are enough.
We have always been enough. We are not waiting for rescue. We are the rescue.
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THE LEADERS
THE COSMIC CIRCLE
WHAT DO OUR FRIENDS’ ZODIAC SIGNS SAY ABOUT THEM — AND US?
We humans are inherently social creatures. We are wired to seek connection, belonging and people who understand us. But, as anyone with a crew knows, no two people show up for us in quite the same way. We rely on a complex network of personalities to keep us going — the one who can listen to our problems without catastrophizing; the one who will hit the town with us and throw away the receipts; and the one who shows up with a pickup truck when we need to get out of Dodge.
Myriad factors determine which role(s) we fill within our friend group, and our personal astrology offers a lens through which we can understand our position in the tribe. The fire signs add excitement and action to the mix while the earth signs offer reliability and grounded advice. Air signs keep the conversation going and water signs offer emotional heart. To see all the gifts one brings to the world, it is important to look at the birth chart, which shows the positions of all the planets in the sky the moment a person was born. However, a person’s sun sign lets us know a great deal about a person’s modus operandi and can tell us what category of friend that person tends to be.
Read on to see where you and your friends fit in the astrological friend group based on your astrological sun signs:
ARIES THE BODYGUARD
As a fire sign ruled by Mars, the planet of action and aggression, Aries people will put their necks out first to defend a friend in need. They are ready and willing to put themselves in the middle of a fracas to make sure their friends are safe, and they will take the hit. Aries folks act first and think later, making them the most likely to pull others into a reckless-yet-memorable adventure.
LEO THE ENTERTAINER
Ruled by the sun, Leos are the friends who shine a light on the others in the group. They’re first to grab the mic for karaoke, to tell animated stories, to ensure everyone is invited to enjoy the good times. As sun people, Leos tend to sit at the center of the friendship solar system, holding all the different personalities together, usually as the center of attention.
SAGITTARIUS THE ADVENTURER
Sagittarius is a fire sign ruled by friendly and jovial Jupiter. These people are always looking beyond the horizon for the next great adventure, and they will pull a posse together to explore the world beyond. Sagittarians are not content to do the same thing over and over, and they keep everything interesting. They’re also the ones who will dispose of the receipts.
THE ANCHORS THE INTELLECTS THE EMPATHS
TAURUS
THE SAFE HARBOR
Anyone who is or knows a Taurus knows they like cozy comforts and appreciate earthly delights. As an earth sign ruled by the planet of love and sumptuousness, Taurus people will cook you a meal before diving into conversation. They’ll call when you need to feel safe, fed and well-tended, and they are the immovable rock when times get chaotic.
VIRGO
THE PLANNER
This earth sign is ruled by thoughtful and meticulous Mercury, and in many respects serves as the strategist of the Zodiac. Virgos are incredibly keen at troubleshooting with a level head and can see the practical outcomes of any choice. If you need to get organized, put together a budget or think through a difficult conundrum, call the nearest Virgo for good advice.
CAPRICORN
THE GOAL-SETTER
Capricorns can see what they want and map the necessary route to getting it. Ruled by Saturn, the planet of boundaries and authority, Capricorns know every achievement requires hard work and dedication. They are the friends who will hold you accountable for your actions and keep you on the straight-and-narrow. They take friendship seriously.
GEMINI THE SOCIAL BUTTERFLY
As an air sign ruled by information-hungry Mercury, Geminis hold everyone’s stories and news. They keep everyone informed about what is going on in the collective, and they provide synthesis. If you can’t get hold of someone, check in with a Gemini, as they are likely to already know what they’re up to. Also, these folks have the intellectual agility to hold conversations with anyone and everyone.
LIBRA THE PEACEKEEPER
Libras move through the world with grace and balance, and bring those qualities to the friend group. As the air sign ruled by beautiful Venus, they can feel when the energy is off-kilter and will work to keep the peace. They keep a mindful perspective on the whole, so they can readily provide advice when there are conflicts or imbalances. They also throw a great party.
AQUARIUS THE INDIVIDUALIST
If you need someone to listen without judgment, an Aquarius is your person. Aquarians march to the beat of their own drum, and are more than happy to see you do the same. Ruled by Saturn, the planet of boundaries, Aquarius people do not rely on others to know exactly who they are. This characteristic makes them powerful and reliable advisers. You know what you’re getting with these air signs.
CANCER THE CAREGIVER
No matter where you are, a Cancer will make you feel at home. As a water sign ruled by the moon, Cancer people show up as the mother of the group. They can listen to your feelings and genuinely seek to understand. They know some things just need to be felt in order to move out of the body, and they won’t jump to solutions before sitting with the emotion. They protect you when you’re feeling vulnerable.
SCORPIO THE THERAPIST
Scorpios are not likely to abide by surface-level relationships because they dive right into the heart of the matter. They want to know your deepest feelings and existential angst, because they consider the shadows of the world to be the fertilizer for reality. Ruled by Mars, the planet of war and action, Scorpios are not afraid to go there with you.
PISCES THE ALCHEMIST
Pisces people are mystics and dreamers, and are capable of transforming difficult feelings into something helpful or meaningful. Pisces is ruled by the planet of wholeness and abundance, Jupiter, and people born under this sign are always seeking to connect the micro to the macro. These folks bring magic into the friend group and ensure everyone remembers that they are children of the universe.
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FROM THE FLORIDA KEYS HISTORY CENTER ARCHIVE
May Johnson
From January 2020 through February 2021, as the Florida Keys and the world were navigating the ever-changing and frequently terrifying conditions of the COVID pandemic, readers of the Today In Keys History column had a daily diversion: What was May Johnson up to now? Or rather, what had she been up to 124 years earlier?
Daily entries from Johnson’s diary written in 1896 and part of ’97 were printed in the column, produced by the Monroe County Public Library’s Florida Keys History Center. History buffs got a glimpse into what life was like on the island for a young woman at the turn of the last century. Readers got invested in Johnson’s romantic life. What happened with Miguel, of whom Johnson’s mother definitely disapproved. Would she wind up with Everest, her “dearest,” a young merchant from Miami?
The Florida Keys History Center had already had a big hit with the diary entries of William Hackley, from earlier in the 1800s. Hackley was an attorney who wrote about his daily habits of walking and bathing, about his children and their ailments, about his work and about his (usually unsuccessful) efforts at shooting birds. Forty years later, May Johnson’s Key West was very different. The island had gone through the Civil War. The cigar industry and political upheavals in Cuba had brought a huge influx of Cuban immigrants – about half the population by 1896. Electricity had arrived, though not yet at Johnson’s home on Division Street (now Truman Avenue). Another war was on the horizon, and technological innovations were everywhere.
May Johnson was part of a large and longstanding island family. Her mother was one of the seven daughters born to the Watlingtons at 322 Duval Street, now a museum known as the Oldest House. Mary Amanda Watlington married Charles Johnson, a pharmacist and physician from Nassau. They had five children, the fourth of whom was May, born in 1876. Her father died in 1887, at 42. By 1896, when this volume of her diary starts, she was 19 years old, living at home and working as a teacher.
A DAY IN THE LIFE
In the diary, May recounts her days – when she woke, what she did, where she went – and most intriguingly, how she was feeling in an allcaps summary at the end of most entries. Her reactions range from “LOST,” “CUSSING” and “D----- MAD” to “OUT OF SIGHT” “GLORIOUS” and “GRAND.” One adjective that didn’t translate to modern times and especially intrigued readers was one of her favorites: “KICKING.” It ranks between “HA HA” and “KILLING” in the May Moodometer created by the library volunteer who transcribed the handwritten diary entries.
It looks like an unbelievably active life – here’s an example from Thursday, March 5, 1896:
Mamie Curtis Williams, Corrine Curry Fogarty, May Johnson Douglass, Mattie Albury, Myra Curry
“I arose at 7:40, dressed, did work, had breakfast, went to school, came home, had dinner, dressed, went to Church, from Church to Curry’s store, Corinne with me. (Lillie Cold’s baby was Christened this afternoon — Robert Murray Watlington). From there we walked up, met Earle. He told us about the shooting escape this afternoon. From there went to Mrs. Helling’s, then to Lillie’s, had some cake, went to Uncle Jerrie’s, to Joe Larkin’s, to Mrs. C. Albury’s, to Mrs. R. Pinder’s, took car, went to Corinne’s home, had tea, back to Fannie’s. Came home, tried on waist, came to bed.
“AS USUAL.”
(“Car” refers to the streetcar, pulled by mules until late 1898 when the line was electrified. The “waist” she tried on was a shirtwaist – a tailored blouse or dress.)
May did a lot of socializing – she was part of a large and prominent family – and a lot of cleaning and sewing, as well as writing letters and some reading. It seems impossible that she could fit so much into an average day, but this was before all the diversions and distractions that
consume our time and attention – no telephones, radio, television or movies, much less internet and social media. To find out what was going on and how people were doing, you had to physically meet up with them, or get a letter and news delivered from the mainland by steamship.
Besides the entertainment value of following a young woman through a year in her life, May Johnson’s diary is an important and, so far, unique document in the history of Key West. Historical vernacular collections – such as diaries, letters and ephemera – capture everyday life as it was actually lived, not as it was summarized or filtered through secondary resources. May’s diary is a first-hand account of her daily life, relationships, routines and expressions as a 20-year-old, which do not exist in more institutionalized documentation. While other historical records can tell us what “happened,” diaries tell us how it felt to live through those moments. Diaries are typically not intended for sharing, so their contents are often more unfiltered. May was not creating a keepsake to explain herself – she was recording her inner life how she experienced it.
Most records in the archives are institutional – government documents, newspapers, etc. Official sources are essential in creating a general landscape of a time and place – what industries were present, who was living where, what events occurred, who was creating headlines, etc. Yet they often leave out ordinary/daily experiences, especially those of women or other marginalized communities. Vernacular records help fill in the gaps. May’s diary documents how young women moved through the Key West community, how she responded to courtship rituals and pressure, the daily routines of a schoolteacher, and social expectations.
Stephen Douglass, far left, May Johnson Douglass far right with her family in Massachusetts ca. 1918.
Scan of May Johnson’s diary from March 5, 1896 (quoted in story) Florida Keys History Center collection.
May’s diary is a rare opportunity to view the world through the eyes of a person living at that time. Diaries were considered private and disposable; usually, the diaries that make it to an archive are of older women with exceptional social status. May was clearly looking for an outlet to express her emotional state, whether it was elation or despair. Emotions ARE historical evidence and meaningful data. In May’s diary, her emotions reflect relationships and courtships shaped by familial pressures regarding respectability, reputation and marriage in 1890s Key West. She expresses exasperation toward her mother, her sister, her love interests and her employer. You can feel her frustrations – probably the reason her diary was so popular with readers.
The diary shows us Key West on the cusp of the 20th century. May was meeting sailors from the USS Maine as it made regular port calls, just two years before its final, fatal voyage to Havana. The streetcar line had an entertainment emporium at the end, a motivation to buy tickets. New York’s version was Coney Island; in Key West they had La Brisa, an open-air entertainment complex at the ocean end of Simonton Street where people would gather to socialize, dance, picnic, conduct courtships and gossip.
AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED?
The diary in the collection of the Florida Keys History Center ends in February 1897. But we know the basic outlines of May’s life afterward, even if we don’t have her reactions in real time.
Everest, after visiting at Thanksgiving of 1896 and spending lots of time with May, did not work out. He became a prominent businessman in the early boom times of 1920s Miami, serving as head of the Chamber of Commerce and as mayor.
May’s older sister Lena, frequently mentioned in the diary, never married. She made candy and hosted the local Boy Scouts chapter on the family property. In 1927, she was the first woman elected to the Key West City Commission. Two years later, she was defeated in her re-election bid by 40 votes.
The Navy’s increased presence on the island during and after the Spanish-American War brought many young servicemen into the community – including a pharmacist’s mate named Stephen Douglass. He and May married in September 1901 at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church and were stationed all over the world. They had two children, but both died in the summer of 1909 in New York state, possibly of the all-too-com-
mon childhood diseases from that time. Douglass rose to lieutenant in the medical service corps and retired in 1930, after 40 years in the Navy. The couple returned to Key West and lived in May’s childhood home on Division Street where they threw themselves into civic life.
A newspaper story recounts the party they threw for their 40th wedding anniversary, where “the renowned tropical garden and the ancestral house rich with family heirlooms was the setting for this affair, as well as the scene of the wedding reception. … The hostess received her guests in her wedding dress and veil.” The house is still standing; the “tropical garden” is now land occupied by the Silver Palms Inn on Truman Avenue.
La Brisa entertainment emporium at the end of Simonton Street, circa 1895.
Lena Johnson, seated, and sister May Johnson Douglass, standing.
According to the story, “both the doctor and his wife have given generosity (sic) of their time in civic and club work as well as being social leaders in both navy and civilian life in Key West.” Stephen Douglass died two years later, in 1943. May died in 1951 on a trip to New York where she planned to visit the graves of her children and spend time with a grand-nephew who was a cadet at West Point. May and Stephen are buried together at the Key West Cemetery, not far from the plot dedicated to the sailors who died on the USS Maine.
Though May Johnson Douglass did not have surviving children, the Florida Keys History Center is hopeful more volumes of her diary may someday be discovered – or other diaries like it may come to light. For now, this account is a one-of-a-kind window into island life at that time in words written not for posterity, but from the heart.
Nancy Klingener is community affairs manager at the Monroe County Public Library. Breana Sowers is senior archivist at the library’s Florida Keys History Center, the foremost collection of documents and images from Keys history. You can learn more at keyslibraries.org/ keyshistory.
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Christening of flying boat “Maid of Miami”. 1921-05-30. Everest Sewell, then Mayor of Miami, at left. State Archives of Florida.
May and Stephen Douglass graves, Key West Cemetery. Photo by Nancy Klingener
Cassandra Cassidy RDH Jayme Thomas RDH Maria Montilva RDH
WHY SHE’S YOUR PERSON
If you were to ask Jane Fonda for her thoughts on female friendship – and frankly, wouldn’t you like Fonda’s perspective on most things in life? – she would impart the following wisdom. In a recent Upworthy interview, Fonda said, “Women’s friendships are very different from men’s friendships. Because you guys, you kind of sit side by side and watch sports or cars or women. Women sit facing each other eye to eye, and they say, ‘I’m in trouble. I need you. Can you help me?’ We are not afraid of being vulnerable.” While part of her statement may read as an unfair generalization of men, the core remains true with research backing up Fonda’s thought, asserting over and over that women’s same-sex friendships are typically more emotionally intimate and vulnerable than men’s, which creates a stronger support system.
Dr. Sharon Malone has extensively studied the science of female friendship and concurs, saying, “Those of us with a community of friends will likely endure life changes more easily.” Even the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found correlations between companionship and increased longevity, stronger immunity, delayed cognitive decline and lower instances of obesity, depression, heart disease and suicide.
A Key West Connection
SUE PUSKEDRA AND AMY JAMISON
If you still don’t believe it, you could simply turn to a classic pair of Key West friends – Sue Puskedra and Amy Jamison, who have known each other for 14 years. The pair initially met and bonded over the love of their pups, shortly after Sue had moved to the Keys at the tail end of a divorce. She had a new puppy and a new lease on life after 34 years of marriage. All that was missing was connection in her newly adopted hometown. So, she started going to the dog park, where both dogs and humans clicked instantly.
“Our dogs became the Luke and Laura of the dog park. They never wanted to leave, so we would stay until the lights came on,” she said.
Over the years, the pair offered support and encouragement, but also supplied one another with a steady stream of comic relief. Eventually, they added a new layer to their friendship, venturing out as business partners on both Puskedra’s business,
Susie’s Estate Sales, and on the organization of the longstanding Keys social networking event, Girls Night Out. If you ask the pair what galvanized their relationship into a lifelong connection, they’ll both point to their Hurricane Irma “evacu-cation.” With the storm barreling down, somehow Amy’s calm approach and Sue’s no-nonsense organization got them on the road – with three dogs, two rabbits, a cat and a (human) neighbor in an “unreliable” car. After much back and forth, they left in the middle of the night, making it to Jacksonville for a brief reprieve before having to keep moving once the storm changed direction. Eventually, the road to misadventure led to New Orleans, where they ate, drank, laughed and bonded over antics like sneaking rabbits into the Ritz Carlton. Today, the pair are still laughing — on a break from working together — as they answer questions about one another.
Sue Puskedra (left) and Amy Jamison. CONTRIBUTED
If I started a cult, what would our daily ritual be?
Amy: “If I had a cult, it would revolve around beagles. My daily ritual would be to just get all the love and attention each morning.”
Sue: “I would help people and animals, sleep, and then start all over.”
If I went missing for a day, where would you check first?
Amy: “I would find Sue at her storage.”
Sue: “I know where she would be. She has a secret beach that she goes to for hours and hours. I don’t know exactly where it is, but I have a good idea.”
If someone asked what I’m NOT good at, what’s the first thing you’d say?
Sue: “Amy is not good at asserting herself or taking credit. She’s horrible at being in the spotlight.”
Amy: “Sue doesn’t know how to take time for herself. She’s always doing so much for others.”
If I randomly sent you a text that said “I just did something stupid” what would your first guess be?
Sue about Amy: (laughs) “You went and bought two more tortoises.”
Amy about Sue: “It would be more, ‘You’re not going to believe this,’ but I booked a sale on top of a sale.” (Sue laughs, “I can’t say no!”)
If I forgot everything tomorrow what’s the first thing you’d tell me about myself?
Amy: “I would tell Sue she can do anything she puts her mind to, and that she does it great. I would tell her she’s the most generous spirit I’ve ever known. You’re driven, you give back tenfold.”
Sue: “I not only could tell her, but I could show her. If you look in the dictionary under nicest person in the whole wide world, Amy Jamison’s photo would be there.”
Which animal gives the same vibes as me?
Sue: “Amy is definitely a puppy – ready for adventure and whose entire purpose is to make people happy.”
Amy: “Sue is definitely a worker bee — determined, hard working, works harder than all of us combined, takes care of the whole hive.”
If you had to sum up our friendship in one moment what would it be?
Sue: “I had to put one of my dogs down and Amy was there every step of the way. That one moment personifies our whole relationship. She’s always been there when I need her.”
Amy: “The one that sticks in my head is the evacuation — Sue stopping me in my tracks and saying, ‘We’re leaving now.’ Sue always takes care of me in every way. It defines her and is a huge part of our friendship.”
In your opinion, what is the most “classically me” thing I’ve ever done?
Sue: “I had to put (my dog) Ernie down and Amy had two appointments and couldn’t come for it, which I completely understood. I came out of the vet and there’s Amy standing there. She canceled her second appointment so she could be there. She’s always there.”
Amy: “My husband often travels for work and I get overwhelmed. Sue tells me everything will be fine and calms me down. She makes me realize that nothing’s that important.”
Do I follow my heart or my head more?
Amy about Sue: “Sue is a combo, head for work – constantly thinking logistics; heart in daily life – all the giving back, how she treats staff, customers, everyone.” Sue about Amy: “Amy is always with her heart.”
What’s one quality we each have that makes our friendship work so well?
Amy: “Definitely our sense of humor, our work ethic, caring.”
Sue: “Amy and I are total opposite ends of the spectrum in regards to religion and politics. We respect each other’s views and don’t let it get in the way.”
the twin tides
CAPT. KATIE AND CAPT. DAWN ARE FLORIDA KEYS LEGENDS
If you saw them from the shore, you might think you were seeing double: sun-bleached dreadlocks, loyal dogs at their heels, and the effortless command of their respective vessels. But for Katie McHugh and Dawn Davis, the resemblance isn’t just a coincidence, it’s a 12-year sisterhood forged in the turquoise waters of the Florida Keys.
They are two of the region’s most formidable 100-ton boat captains and scuba instructors, living a life defined by diesel engines, spearguns and total independence. They are two bad-ass chicks whose odyssey began with a literal “icebreaker” involving a cold beer and some stray lettuce in a tooth, and has evolved into a bond so deep they can practically finish each other’s sentences.
Whether they are giving guys a run for their money, hunting invasive lionfish, sharing a sunrise dog walk, or trading “twin” humor that only they understand, Katie and Dawn prove that some soulmates aren’t romantic — they’re the person holding the dive flag while you’re underwater.
As the interview begins, the “twins” are chilling out and holding matching Yeti cups with funny stickers all over them, their dogs are under the table licking each of their second “mom’s” legs.
If I started a cult, what would our daily ritual be?
Katie about Dawn: “Walk the dogs, feed the dogs, swim with the dogs. Then it’s more
dogs, drinks and diving, and probably eating some iguana pot pie Dawn made and some spearfishing in there too.”
Dawn about Katie: “First comes the dogs, then comes the pee-pee, then we go diving. And now I guess we shoot lizards and eat iguana pot pie. Definitely dogs and diving, every day.”
If I went missing for a day, where would you check first?
Katie about Dawn: “She’d be underwater. If she was truly missing, I’d look for her on a dive.”
Dawn about Katie: “Same. If she disappeared for a day, I’d assume she was underwater somewhere diving.”
Katie McHugh and Dawn Davis. CONTRIBUTED
If someone asked what I’m NOT good at, what’s the first thing you’d say?
Katie about Dawn: “Definitely killing cockroaches. I barehand those suckers while she’s screaming. But she’ll catch my rats, so it evens out.”
Dawn about Katie: “This question isn’t fair, because she’s good at everything. The only thing I can come up with is squatting dudes. She thinks she can do it, but her knees and ankles can’t take it, especially on land.”
If I randomly sent you a text that said “I just did something stupid,” what would your first guess be?
Katie about Dawn: “Getting a mangrove stuck in her butt going after a lizard and ripping herself open. Something wild and slightly dangerous, for sure.”
Dawn about Katie: “For her, it could be damn near anything. But my first guess? Tackling Big Bird on Duval Street.”
If I forgot everything tomorrow, what’s the first thing you’d tell me about myself?
Katie about Dawn: “I’d probably start with, ‘You sure do have a pretty mouth.’ Then I’d tell her that if she doesn’t get her $#!t together, her mind won’t amount to a hill of beans. Then I’d smack her a little and snap her out of it.”
Dawn about Katie: “I’d tell her she’s the baddest m0&^%$#@!*^r I’ve ever met and that she’d get her memory back way before her sense of smell.”
Which animal gives the same vibes as me?
Katie about Dawn: “A shark. She’s smooth one way and rough as hell the other, just like a shark in the ocean.”
Dawn about Katie: “An octopus. Because they punch things for fun, they’re crazy smart and they know exactly how to handle the mates they don’t want.”
If you had to sum up our friendship in one moment, what would it be?
Katie about Dawn: “What a long, strange trip it’s been. She’s the best dive buddy ever. I trust her with my life. Any of our spearfishing days together, whether that was heading out blasting music, hunting, then mixing cocktails on the way home, stopping to watch the sunset at Captain
Jack’s boat. Underwater we move like a school of fish. We don’t need hand signals; we always know where the other one is, and we always show back up.”
Dawn about Katie: It would be the first time I heard her communicate to me through her regulator underwater: “Are you f#&$@#g kidding me!” We understand everything we say to each other. She’s my best dive buddy ever and the best captain to be on a boat with.”
In your opinion, what is the most “classically me” thing I’ve ever done?
Katie about Dawn: “Showing up to work after getting her tooth knocked out, wearing her bathing suit inside out and my boyfriend’s size-14 flip-flops. She just overcomes and shows up anyway.”
Dawn about Katie: “Getting naked. That’s classic Katie. She’s the one who will strip down for a laugh or a dare without a second thought.”
Do I follow my heart or my head more?
Katie about Dawn: “Head. One hundred percent.”
Dawn about Katie: “In the moment, it’s her head. But at the end of the day, she’s all heart. Like, 100,000% heart. It really depends on the situation.”
What’s one quality we each have that makes our friendship work so well?
Katie about Dawn: “We’re the same person in different bodies. We admire the hell out of each other, who we are, what we do, and the badassery we bring. We accept each other completely and always have each other’s backs.”
Dawn about Katie: “We’ve known each other for 12 years and only had one fiveminute fight. We rebuilt the Keys together after hurricanes, ran boats, fixed them, even sank one and came back from it. We make it easy for each other to be our feral selves and still know, no matter what happens, the other one is there: loyal, solid and all in.”
In a world that often tries to anchor women down, Katie and Dawn have spent 12 years choosing the open sea and each other. They are more than just best friends or dive buddies; they are a two-woman fleet, navi -
gating the highs of successful charters and the lows of rebuilding after hurricanes with the same unwavering grit. Whether they are swapping size-14 flip-flops, outsmarting octopuses or simply moving through the deep blue in a silent, synchronized dance, their connection transcends the traditional. It is a friendship built on the rare kind of trust that only exists when you know exactly where your partner is without ever looking back.
As the sun sets on another day in the Keys, these two captains remind us that life’s greatest adventures aren’t found in the destination, but in the feral, loyal and “all-in” soulmate who’s steering the boat right beside you.
ONCE NEW GIRLS TURN BESTIES
ASHLEY ARRABAL AND BROOKE VEGA
Ashley Arrabal and Brooke Vega were once the new girls in town. They both were 16 and attending Coral Shores High School when a mutual friend introduced them. Arrabal had recently moved from North Carolina. Vega was relatively new herself, having come from Wyoming six months before Arrabal. Twenty-seven years later, the two reminisce about their younger, just-want-to-havefun days. They’ve been a part of each other’s lives from their teenage years through some big moments during adulthood.
“She (Arrabal) was there holding my hand as I was giving birth to my first child,” Vega said.
“She wrote a letter so I could adopt my daughter,” Arrabal said.
Their bond flourished over the years, a result of their mutual interests and careers, as they spent more than 18 years together working at the Florida Keys Electric Cooperative. Their similarities make them quite the dynamic duo in the Upper Keys. Arrabal, current senior accounting manager for
Florida Keys Electric Cooperative, and Vega, now a real estate agent, are both Rotarians who volunteer their time and energy for the greater good in the community.
They’ve done just about everything together, from CrossFit and yoga to watching football games and going on work trips. The two took a break from the hustle and bustle of their weekly lives to answer questions about one another.
Ashley Arrabal, left, and Brooke Vega JIM McCARTHY/Keys Weekly
If I started a cult, what would our daily ritual be?
Ashley about Brooke: She would have us get up and run and work out or something. Brooke about Ashley: She would probably want to pray with me.
If I went missing for a day, where would you check first?
Ashley about Brooke: Her mom’s. Brooke about Ashley: Probably her house. She’d be locked in her bedroom. Or her office at work.
If someone asked what I’m NOT good at, what’s the first thing you’d say?
Ashley about Brooke: If Brooke wants to do something, she’s going to do it. But Brooke cannot control her facial expressions. You look at her and you’re like ‘Oh, f*ck. Keep it together, Brooke.’
Brooke about Ashley: She’s not good at not crying. She’s not good at holding her emotions.
If I randomly sent you a text that said “I just did something,” what would your first guess be?
Ashley about Brooke: My first guess would be … She’d say, ‘I adopted a dog; I need another reference.’ Or, ‘You’re going to get a text or call from the animal shelter because we’re going to adopt a 12th dog.’ Brooke about Ashley: “Brooke, I just adopted twin infants.”
If I forgot everything tomorrow, what’s the first thing you’d tell me about myself?
Ashley about Brooke: That she has a big heart. Deep down she has a really big heart. Brooke about Ashley: I would also tell her that she wears her heart on her sleeve and everyone knows how much she gives.
Which animal gives the same vibes as me?
Ashley about Brooke: I have to say a dog because she’s loyal and she loves. If she loves you, she loves you. And I feel dogs are like that … They want to love and give love. Brooke about Ashley: I’d call you a dog too.
Do you want me to call you a female dog? You’re like a golden retriever.
If you had to sum up our friendship in one moment, what would it be?
Ashley about Brooke: You are my secret keeper.
Brooke about Ashley: She’s a sister. Maybe not my blood sister. But she’s my sister. We’ve been in each other’s lives since we were 16.
In your opinion, what is the most “classically me” thing I’ve ever done?
Ashley about Brooke: She holds things in and tells me at the last minute, then it’s done. When she tells me, it’s done. It’s for real.
Brooke about Ashley: She gave her kidney away and she adopted Mariela. We all knew she was destined to be her own mother, but couldn’t have her own kids. Giving her kidney away so her cousin would be able to get a kidney, that’s a classic Ashley. Or randomly going out to buy toys for kids who didn’t have any.
Do I follow my heart or my head more?
Ashley about Brooke: It depends. Brooke has a huge heart. If she knows she needs something, she’s going to do it. But she’s naturally smart and doesn’t have to work at being smart. She has a balance, not sure which one rules; it depends on the situation. She’s pretty balanced in that, I don’t think one outweighs the other.
Brooke about Ashley: It’s definitely her heart.
What’s one quality we each have that makes our friendship work so well?
Ashley about Brooke: Brooke is loyal. I’ve tried to break up with her before. We had fights, but I never can let her go because she’s touched my soul. She’s loyal, I know if I need Brooke she’ll be there no matter what.
Brooke about Ashley: Our loyalty to one other.
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HEALTH CARE LANDSCAPE IS CHANGING
AND WOMEN PAY A HIGHER PRICE
THE SHIFT IN TODAY’S HEALTH CARE LANDSCAPE IS UNDENIABLE.
WHILE HEALTH INSURANCE IN THE UNITED STATES HAS ALWAYS BEEN PROPPED UP BY AN IMPERFECT INFRASTRUCTURE, WAVERING BETWEEN THE GOVERNMENT AND PRIVATE SECTOR, RECENT CHANGES TO THAT SYSTEM HAVE CAUSED PREMIUMS FOR MOST AMERICANS TO SKYROCKET, LEADING MANY TO QUESTION THE ACCESSIBILITY AND AFFORDABILITY OF CARE. THIS TURN IS DISPROPORTIONATELY AFFECTING WOMEN.
U.S. women aged 19 to 64 spend an estimated 18%, or $15 billion, more on out-of-pocket health costs, annually, than men. That’s according to Dr. Kulleni Gebreyes, a board member of Deloitte US, the leading financial services consulting firm for Fortune 500 companies, and an industry leader in the company’s U.S. life sciences & health care sector.
Gebreyes said Deloitte’s analysis shows that spending disparity remains evident even when analysts exclude maternity-related services. Deloitte’s health actuarial team extrapolated further consequences for women’s financial situation, suggesting that these higher health costs, in conjunction with a well-documented wage disparity, force many women to make difficult decisions between health care and other necessities.
The effects of these shifts can be seen on a local level, in the microcosm of Key West. Womankind, “a medical and wellness center providing high-quality family planning, prenatal & primary care, and mental health services to people of all income,” is uniquely situated to feel the ripples from changes in women’s health care and the health insurance safety net.
“In the last few years, we’ve seen our biggest increase in insured patients,” said Cali Roberts, Womankind’s executive director. “Typically around 50% of our patients are insured. When premiums dropped, that number increased to 75%. For many, it was their first time being insured as an adult.”
The resulting wave of newly insured patients meant an increase in demand for services from Womankind. Women who purchased Affordable Care Act (ACA, or Obamacare) plans on the government’s health care marketplace were guaranteed to have preventive care – annual exam, PAP smears, birth control and mammograms – covered with no out-of-pocket costs. As a result, many women received care, screenings, tests and prescriptions they had neglected for years.
But with the government currently opting to not renew ACA subsidies that were implemented during the pandemic and made monthly premiums affordable for millions of people, the number of women proactively seeking preventive care is expected to drop substantially.
Roberts said this downshift is also, unfortunately, coinciding with dramatic cuts in funding. Womankind has always had funding from Title X, the federal program that provides grants for family planning and preventive health services, primarily for low-income individuals, through Monroe County. That funding was pulled this year, forcing an increase in prices for prescriptions and resulting in nearly $100,000 in lost income for the nonprofit Womankind.
The good news for women in the Keys is that the Florida Department of Health in Monroe County was able to retain Title X funding. As a result, Womankind is referring clients there for certain needs, including confidential counseling for teens, as new federal legislation now requires spaces like Womankind to require parental consent for birth control and treatment for sexually transmitted infections. “The health department has been an amazing partner,” Roberts said. “They help the girls navigate a complicated system and make them feel comfortable.”
Moving into the new year, these partnerships will become a major element of support for Womankind, which still receives two grants – the Access to Care Collaborative Health Foundation of South Florida (for primary care) and the Prenatal Collaborative – which require partnerships with AHEC, Good Health Clinic, SOS and Rural Health Network, Keys Healthy Start Coalition, respectively. These partnerships not only ensure access to care for Keys women, but reinforce the importance of community in the Keys.
Roberts is optimistic as Womankind heads into 2026. “Our founders, Renee Grier and Gazelle Lange, enabled us to
be able to weather storms like this. They opened Womankind in about 11 months, raising money through every channel — car washes, everything. Not knowing what would happen, they established our priorities. They let us progress, and allowed us to soar on our own. They’re the best kind of parents an organization could have. And that foundation is going to allow us to navigate a way forward.”
The coming year is not only a year to pivot. It’s also cause for a major celebration as it marks Womankind’s 25th anniversary. And thanks to community support, the organization can spend its 25th year focused on gratitude, rather than panic. Tats for Tatas, an October fundraiser at Tattoos and Scars Saloon, raised an astounding $495,000, enough to cover Womankind’s funding loss for 2026. That means the organization won’t feel the squeeze until 2027, allowing some time to design their new normal.
Whatever that new normal looks like, it will include the patient-focused care that has always defined Womankind. The organization will still offer a sliding-fee scale based on an uninsured patient’s income, and will remain open to both insured and uninsured patients. Above all, it will retain the same hallmark of personalized care.
“What you wouldn’t know from just driving by is that our staff is 100% dedicated to our mission,” Roberts said. “They take care of people. They treat every patient as if she’s their sister’s best friend. I can’t count the number of times I’ve seen a staffer call someone on their way home, after hours. There are people here who will encourage and empower you.”
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We also focus on managing chronic diseases prevalent in Key West, including diabetes, high blood pressure, thyroid disorders, and skin conditions.
Whether you’re seeking anti-aging solutions or comprehensive disease management, our expert team provides discreet, luxury healthcare in-of ce, via telehealth, or at home, ensuring optimal health and beauty.
Low-Maintenance
High-Protein
If you’ve been anywhere near a grocery store, social media feed or dinner table lately, you’ve probably heard someone talking about protein. High protein. Extra protein. “Are you getting enough protein?”
Protein has officially left the fitness world and entered everyday conversation and honestly, that’s not a bad thing.
Protein isn’t just about building muscle or flexing in the mirror. It plays a role in satiety (feeling full), blood sugar balance, metabolism, immune health, bone strength and even recovery as we age. In other words, protein matters whether you lift weights, paddleboard or just want steady energy to enjoy another Florida Keys sunset without crashing at 3 p.m.
The problem? Many people still equate protein with a giant, plain chicken breast or a chalky-tasting shake. But that’s not the case. In fact, the easiest way to increase protein intake is to sneak it into what you’re already eating.
Let’s talk strategy first, then I’ll give you a few simple, proteinpacked recipe ideas that won’t feel like “diet food.”
• Upgrade your breakfast (don’t just add coffee). If breakfast is coffee and vibes, you’re setting yourself up for a mid-morning energy crash. Adding protein early helps stabilize blood sugar
and keeps hunger in check. Think Greek yogurt instead of regular yogurt, eggs with veggies or a protein-enhanced smoothie.
• Think “add-on,” not overhaul. You don’t need to replace foods you love. Add protein to them. Blend cottage cheese into soups or sauces; stir collagen into coffee; sprinkle hemp seeds over oatmeal; or toss an extra scoop of beans into salads.
• Snack smarter, not larger. Protein snacks need not be fancy. A hard-boiled egg, string cheese, edamame, roasted chickpeas or a small protein smoothie can go a long way toward keeping energy steady between meals.
• Spread protein throughout the day. Many people ignore protein throughout the day and then load up on it at dinnertime. But your body uses protein best when it’s distributed across meals — breakfast, lunch, dinner, even snacks count.
• Don’t forget plant-based protein. Beans, lentils, tofu, tempeh, quinoa, nuts and seeds absolutely count. You don’t need to go all-in on animal protein to meet your needs.
Simple protein-packed recipes
These are easy, realistic and Keys-friendly — meaning they won’t have you sweating over a stove all day.
TROPICAL PROTEIN SMOOTHIE
Serves: 1 • Prep time: 3-5 minutes
Ingredients
• 10-12 oz. unsweetened almond or coconut milk
• 1/2 cup frozen mango or pineapple
• 1/4 cup plain Greek yogurt or 1 scoop protein powder
• 1 handful spinach (you truly won’t taste it)
Optional: 1 Tbsp chia seeds or collagen peptides
Instructions
• Add all ingredients to a blender.
• Blend until smooth, adding more liquid if needed.
• Pour and go.
Protein callout: 15-25 g protein (more if you use both yogurt and protein powder)
Pro tip: Use both Greek yogurt and protein powder for staying power. If it gets too thick, just add more liquid.
WHIPPED COTTAGE CHEESE TOAST
High-protein, and no one suspects it. Why it works: Cottage cheese is having a moment, and for good reason. It’s packed with protein and neutral in flavor, so you can add practically anything to it and it’s a win. Serves: 1 • Prep time: 5 minutes Ingredients
• 1/4 cup cottage cheese
• 1 slice toasted sourdough bread
• Topping ideas (choose one):
• 1/4 cup sliced avocado + pinch of sea salt
• 1/4 cup smoked salmon + squeeze of lemon juice
• 4-5 cherry tomatoes, sliced + 1 tsp olive oil
Instructions
• Blend cottage cheese until completely smooth and creamy.
• Spread generously on toasted sourdough.
• Add toppings of choice and enjoy immediately.
Protein callout: 12-15 g protein per slice
Pro tip: Add an egg to any of these and gain an additional 6 grams of protein.
CHICKPEA CRUNCH SNACK
For when the afternoon munchies hit. Why it works: Crunchy, salty snacks don’t have to be empty calories. Serves: 4 • Prep time: 5 minutes Ingredients
• 1 (15-oz) can chickpeas, rinsed, drained and dried very well
• 1 Tbsp olive oil
• 1/2 tsp sea salt
• 1/2 tsp smoked paprika or cinnamon
Optional: pinch garlic powder or cayenne Instructions
• Preheat oven to 400°F.
• Spread chickpeas on a clean towel and pat completely dry (this is key for crunch).
• Toss chickpeas with olive oil, salt and seasoning of choice.
• Spread in a single layer on a baking sheet.
• Roast for 30-35 minutes, shaking the pan halfway through, until golden and crunchy.
• Cool slightly. They crisp more as they cool.
Protein callout: 7-8 g protein per ½ cup
CITRUS HERB CHICKEN BOWLS
Why it works: Balanced, flexible, and leftover-friendly — dinner and tomorrow’s lunch handled • Serves: 4
• Prep time: 10 minutes • Cook time: 20–25 minutes
Ingredients Chicken
• 1-1/2 lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts or thighs
• Zest + juice of 1 lemon or orange
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 tsp dried oregano or Italian seasoning
• Salt + pepper to taste
Ingredients Bowls
• 2 cups cooked quinoa or rice
• 2 cups roasted vegetables (broccoli, zucchini, peppers, or carrots)
• Optional toppings: feta, parsley, drizzle of olive oil
Instructions
• Preheat oven to 425°F or heat grill to medium-high.
• Whisk citrus juice, zest, olive oil, garlic, herbs, salt, and pepper.
• Toss chicken in marinade and let sit 5-10 minutes.
• Bake chicken for 20-25 minutes (or grill 5-6 minutes per side) until cooked through.
• Slice chicken and build bowls with grains, veggies, and toppings. Protein callout: 30-35 g protein per bowl
GREEK YOGURT
“DESSERT” BOWL
Why it works: Feels like dessert, stabilizes blood sugar, and avoids the post-sweet crash
• Serves: 1 • Prep time: 3 minutes
Ingredients
• 3/4-1 cup plain Greek yogurt (2% or full-fat)
• 1/2 cup fresh berries (blueberries, strawberries, or raspberries)
• 1-2 tbsp chopped nuts (almonds or walnuts)
• 1-2 tsp honey or maple syrup
Instructions
• Spoon yogurt into a bowl.
• Top with berries, nuts, and a light drizzle of honey.
• Eat slowly — this one really satisfies. Protein callout: 15-20 g protein per serving
THE BOTTOM LINE
Protein doesn’t need to be extreme, expensive or exhausting. It just needs to be intentional. A little more at breakfast. A smarter snack. A small upgrade to meals you already enjoy.
And if all else fails? Add protein before you’re starving. Your energy, muscles and metabolism will thank you and you’ll still have plenty of room for sunset cocktails and Keys living.
Because balance matters too.
SWIPE VS. Stroll
WHERE DOES REAL CONNECTION BEGIN NOWADAYS?
The familiar romantic comedy fantasy of meeting “The One” through a delightful, serendipitous chance encounter such as a dropped book, a spilled latte or a goofy dog-related mishap has been almost entirely replaced by the glow of a smartphone screen. Do people still meet each other in an organic happenstance these days? It’s no surprise online dating has become the most common way for couples to meet today, fundamentally shifting the search for love from a spontaneous discovery into a highly personalized digital curation. While once seen as a social gaffe that often required a fictionalized version of a couple’s first encounters, meeting people online is now widely accepted. Yet a palpable tension exists between the convenience of dating apps and the deep-seated human desire for a genuine, spontaneous, authentic connection.
So, how does a woman, especially in a smaller locale like the Florida Keys, find a genuine connection when local options are scarce? One popular saying in the Keys – “You don’t lose your girl, you just lose your turn” – although funny, is quite commonplace. To those who don’t want to date their “friend’s girl,” the digital marketplace offers plenty of dating and meetup apps, covering everything from casual meetups to religious beliefs, alongside entertaining yet functional social media groups like the popular “Are We Dating the Same Guy” pages where women compare notes.
Sociologists say the primary advantage of dating apps is the vastly expanded pool of potential partners they offer compared to meeting people through traditional means. This larger choice set is especially valuable for people in thin markets like the Keys, or for those seeking partners with specific criteria. These apps provide a vital path to finding suitable matches that might otherwise be geographically inaccessible.
But this abundance often causes widespread dating app burnout. Users feel exhausted by nonstop swiping and the anxiety that a “better option” is always available. This gamified, transactional process, marked by low-effort small talk, contributes to significant mental health tolls, including higher anxiety, depression and poor body image.
To offer a more focused, meaningful search, technology is stepping up with clever artificial intelligence “matchmakers.” Platforms like
SciMatch and Iris Dating go beyond simple profile data, using complex algorithms to predict deeper compatibility. They claim to incorporate advanced metrics, from personality analysis and even facial scans, forecasting both emotional connection and physical attraction. Their goal is to find a perfect, tailor-made partner – provided of course, that your soulmate is actually using these apps.
Many women approach app selection strategically, prioritizing safety and control. They favor platforms with built-in security and friend screening for better individual vetting, replacing the filter of organic social circles. Apps that require women to message first or focus on serious intent are preferred for controlling the conversation flow. But the final decision-making factor often comes down to budget. Should women invest in paid AI curation, or stick to the massive, free options?
Regardless of your budget for online dating apps, a big question still remains: Is a high-tech, often costly online service the real secret to success in today’s world? Or can you still have just as much luck meeting your person the old-fashioned way — like maybe bumping into them while reaching for the same lemon at the grocery store? The answer is, the jury is still out.
Research shows conflicting results, and many experts suggest that how you meet matters less than the quality of the relationship itself, with online and organic methods having strengths and weaknesses.
When it comes to choosing free dating apps versus pricey ones, know your audience. Consider which platforms your ideal partner would be most likely to use. Is your match the kind that would use the high-tech niche service or the widely accessible free app? Sometimes it boils down to what you’re looking for. While the allure of high-tech vetting is strong, the simplest path often wins.
Though the dating pool may feel small, I encourage you to hang in there. Timing is crucial, as with everything in life, and success requires effort.
You have to think to yourself, “Well, I’m on here and I’m pretty great, so other people must be too.”
Despite technology’s growing role, the value of organic connections persists, largely because a shared social circle naturally vets partners. Major studies show couples who met in a chance connection report slightly higher satisfaction and a deeper experience of love. But other research suggests the online approach offers unique benefits. For example, it allows for establishing emotional intimacy via pre-meeting communication, which may create a stronger relationship foundation.
Ultimately, the data confirms that online platforms are now the most common way couples meet. If you’re struggling with dating app burnout, don’t quit. Just change your strategy a bit. View fatigue as a signal to make the grind work for you. Be fiercely selective, impose sustainable rules like limiting swiping, and move good conversations offline quickly. You don’t need endless energy; you need a sustainable pace. That mindful effort is the key to beating the digital fatigue, and with the right approach, you absolutely can find your person, whether the first connection is through an algorithm or over a casual cup of coffee.
positivity
TRUE SUPPORT MEANS ACKNOWLEDGING THERE MAY NOT BE A BRIGHT SIDE
Back in my teens, whenever I felt as if my world was ending, owing to the drama du jour, I would reluctantly share my perceived traumas with my mother. She would always seek to comfort me with some version of “everything happens for a reason,” or the general rationale that everything would be okay. Of course, as a teenage girl, these words of kindness incited pure rage. I wanted to be told that things were indeed as awful as I perceived them to be. Validate me, damn it.
As I aged, the kindness became more appreciated, while in parallel, the dramas and traumas became more real. Fast forward to my late 20s. My boss (who became a mentor and dear friend), sat me down in her office to share that things would be off-kilter for a while because her husband had just been diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer that would take his life in months. Not years, not maybe. Months. I immediately
launched into the only form of comfort I knew, telling her that maybe the diagnosis was wrong, expressing hope about trials and alternatives. She shut me down in a steely instant. At that moment I learned that the gray area between kindness and support contained multitudes.
I should mention that I was raised in the Midwest. We are a stoic group and we are NICE, all caps required. So, the blind comfort I encountered in the early part of my life didn’t just come from my mother. Fatalism is a pervasive mantra in the central states. We essentially invented “toxic positivity” long before it had a name. Growing up, I absorbed and accepted it as a well-meaning quirk of a particular demographic. Then, in recent years, popular culture latched on to the concept and mainstreamed it, as more people realized that the support they’re receiving is not the support they’re seeking.
“My leadership is steady not loud – rooted in care, guided by principle. A strong woman stands up for herself; a stronger woman stands up for others”
— Lynny Del Gaizo, Mayor
The term “toxic positivity” refers to a dismissal of someone’s reality, or an invalidation of a person’s negative emotions like sadness or anger. It is an insistence that successful navigation past an obstacle will only come through positive thinking and gratitude. As complex little creatures, we can’t expect to find solace, or solve our problems, by “looking on the bright side.” We can expect to feel the added rage of a hormonal teen, though, when that solution is being suggested.
Beyond provoking simple annoyance, toxic positivity can carry more detrimental consequences. When it is the standard response to a person’s fears or frustrations, it can cause deeper damage. The rigidity of this line of thinking eliminates the space for authentic emotions, emotions we possess purely for the sake of processing our biggest hurdles in life. Suppressing those feelings stifles mental well-being and the potential for personal growth. A person who’s bombarded with unwavering positivity may begin to feel isolated, as they are not being truly heard or acknowledged. When the negative emotions inevitably bubble back to the surface, a person may feel guilt, carrying the assumption that they are not strong, or that they don’t have the fortitude to handle challenging situations.
As someone who wants to see the best in people, I believe most individuals genuinely do their best to comfort one another. Many simply don’t have the tools to do it successfully. Perhaps they’re just a recovering Midwesterner who has yet to have a strong New York boss call them out. More likely, though, they struggle with the discomfort it takes to fully acknowledge the messy bits. It’s difficult to navigate a conversation about impending loss, death or any other non-negotiable awfulness, and it takes strength and awareness to sit with real emotions, whether our own or someone else’s.
As with anything, though, when we know better, we can do better. Instead of relying on knee-jerk responses, try responding in a way that validates the other person’s feelings. It’s wonderful to maintain optimism, but accept its limits. Communicating openly can be a scary and vulnerable place, but one we should all strive to reach.
Fast forward another 10 years. My aunt was telling me about the sudden and stark health decline of her beloved mother-in-law, Ruth. There was no more if, just when. She said that Ruth’s greatest frustration in her final days was that she was “about to go on the greatest adventure of her lifetime and no one wanted to talk to her about it.” So, do it for Ruth. Ditch the platitudes. Engage in the uncomfortable. Listen.
“Serving on Marathon’s City Council, as a woman at a time when other strong and intelligent women are also serving in our local government, is a true honor. I hope my service helps show younger women and girls that they have the potential to lead – and do anything they set their minds to.”
“Strong women work until change happens “ — Debra Struyf, Vice Mayor — Robyn Still, Councilwoman and Former Mayor 9805 Overseas Highway, Marathon 305.743.0033 | ci.marathon.fl.us
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BY KAREN NEWFIELD
THE WOMEN
By Kristin Hannah
SHE CAN, SO SHE DID
STORIES OF WOMEN
MAKING A DIFFERENCE WITH POSITIVITY AND PURPOSE
Frankie McGrath is 20 when her brother Finley ships off to Vietnam. Growing up in beautiful Southern California, they shared a charming childhood, surfing and riding bikes throughout their neighborhood while their mother doted on them, between martinis and lunch at the club. A recent nursing school graduate, Frankie is determined to make a difference. She shocks everyone by enlisting with the Army Nurse Corps and is stationed overseas. Through nights filled with the blood-curdling screams of injured soldiers, her compassion is endless — even though sometimes holding a hand is all she can do. After two tours, Frankie returns to California a different person. The public is protesting, her parents do not appreciate her sacrifice and Frankie recognizes that she is suffering from PTSD. Sadly, she turns to the slippery slope of pills and alcohol. The heartbreak of war touches those who serve, the loved ones left behind, and the many challenges veterans face upon returning to civilian life. These women showed how courage and compassion can transform an entire community.
THE DISTANCE BETWEEN US
By Reyna Grande
Reyna Grande grew up in a small impoverished village in Mexico. Her young mother tried to escape, often leaving her four children for months with their frail but loving abuela. One day their Papi unexpectedly returns from el otro lado (the other side — America). Although they were terrified to make this dangerous border crossing, they were excited for a new life. Their Papi had married an American and in the 1980s it was easier to bring children to the U.S. than it is today. Although he only had a third-grade education, Papi knew that learning English and getting good grades were crucial to a better life. This memoir is the writer’s story of longing — for a family, an education — and a love of writing that ultimately brought her great success and allowed her to thank those who encouraged her along the way. Take a moment to walk in someone else’s shoes as Grande shows that hope and resilience can transform hardship into possibility.
A DIFFERENT KIND OF POWER
By Jacinda Ardern
The world’s youngest female head of government at 37, Jacinda Ardern notched a string of firsts, among them: the first elected national leader to take maternity leave while in office; the first to bring her baby to the United Nations General Assembly; the first New Zealand prime minister to march in a Pride parade; and the first party leader to win a single-party parliamentary majority. If her leadership had to be distilled to a single word, it would be “kindness” — not as niceness or sentimentality, but as a governing method that centers on dignity, fairness and inclusion. While Ardern was in office, New Zealand experienced a tragic volcanic eruption, the Christchurch shootings, and the COVID pandemic. Through it all, she remained an optimist, a tough politician who is also a well-known hugger. This superb memoir introduces us to a different part of her journey, both personal and professional. Ardern shows how kindness and purposeful leadership can make change in the world.
LADY TAN’S CIRCLE OF WOMEN
By Lisa See
When her mother passes away, Yunxian is sent to be raised by her paternal grandparents. While her esteemed father travels for the imperial dynasty, her grandmother prepares Yunxian to become a doctor, as she herself is famously known. Yunxian loves learning and grandmother becomes the center of her world. When she is later matched for marriage and leaves home, she desperately misses her family. In the Garden of Fragrant Delights, Yunxian is lonely and must conceal her medical knowledge to become the wife her motherin-law expects. Yearning for the freedom to care for others, Yunxian finds ways to secretly treat the women in the compound and teach the same to her daughters. This fascinating work of historical fiction takes the reader to the Ming Dynasty during the 15th century. A novel about friendship, family and motherhood, loosely based on a true story of a remarkable female physician practicing Chinese medicine, it shows us how wisdom and collaboration can create a lasting, positive impact.
THE MANY LIVES OF MAMA LOVE
By Lara Love Hardin
Lara Love is going to jail. It had always been inevitable as she swiped credit cards from unsuspecting neighbors with fancy cars in the school parking lot. Blonde, pretty, mother of four, Lara appeared to be your typical suburban soccer mom. The truth was Lara and her husband, DJ, spent every waking moment securing funds to shoot up heroin. They destroyed their business, savings and any resources they had in the white-collar world. Now, she and DJ are going to jail, convicted of 32 felony counts. Determined to survive, Lara learns to navigate the complicated hierarchy of prison life. She ultimately examines herself through the eyes of her fellow inmates. These women want to be heard and she is a good listener, hence the nickname — Mama Love. When Lara is released she must create a new world for herself with little support and no money. And she must face life without the drugs that nearly destroyed her. This story shows how one woman’s generosity can touch countless lives.
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The things we do
Ahh, the beauty of being a high-functioning female in the 21st century. We’ve got it made in the shade, right? We’re living lives of leisure; sitting around getting pedicures and eating bon-bons in between brunches and shopping trips. We don’t work, vacuum or grocery shop. We don’t carry, bear and raise children. We need only think of ourselves. We have no responsibilities, obligations, expectations. We do whatever we want, whenever we want — everyone else’s needs and desires be damned. Right? WRONG.
Who schedules doctor appointments in your household? Who pays utility bills, books flights and folds laundry? Who chooses, buys and wraps Christmas and birthday gifts? Whose cell phone does the school call first when there’s a forgotten permission slip, lunch money or disciplinary dustup? Who buys the toothpaste and shampoo that are always in a bathroom cabinet for when the current ones run out? Who plans dinners and concerts with friends, and knows each kid’s current shoe sizes? Who buys the birthday gift for this Saturday’s kid’s party down the street?
We’re not complaining, per se, but simply pointing out the division of labor in many homes and families, even when most women also work full-time jobs these days. Gone are the days when the man worked and the woman stayed home. So…we started thinking about our daily lives, choices and chores and couldn’t help but wonder…
How would our lives be different if we weren’t responsible for anyone but ourselves?
MARTINIS & CAVIAR WOULD BECOME THE NORM.
Picture it, starfish stretch in the middle of the bed
NEVER HEARING ABOUT A “MAN COLD OR FLU” AGAIN
MAYBE MY MUSTACHE ISN’T SUCH A BIG PROBLEM AFTER ALL
No more sports on the TV.
No more demonstrations of how to replace a toilet paper roll.
Never having to answer, “Are we doing something this weekend?” Even with two shared digital calendars and a giant kitchen wall calendar.
We said yes. Then
WHY MAKE DINNER WHEN I COULD EAT “GIRL DINNER” EVERY NIGHT?
remembered our pajamas.
FANCY CANDLES WOULD BE LIT ALL THE TIME.
The house would always be tidy, as I’m not the messy one.
No more exchanges such as: “Why do I need another dress? Same reason you need a new putter and another tee time.”
WHY, YES, AS A MATTER OF FACT, PERHAPS I COULD KILL THAT BUG MYSELF.
COMING SOON TO KEY WEST
BENMONT TENCH
OF TOM PETTY & THE HEARTBREAKERS
FEB. 3, KEY WEST THEATER
GABRIEL RUTLEDGE DON’T READ THE COMMENTS TOUR FEB. 15, KEY WEST THEATER
GARRISON KEILLOR & ERICA RHODES
FEB. 22, KEY WEST THEATER
SQUIRREL NUT ZIPPERS
APR. 2, KEY WEST THEATER
TOMMY EMMANUEL MAR. 22, KEY WEST THEATER
YACHTLY CREW
FEB. 18, KEY WEST THEATER
BODEANS
MAR. 29, KEY WEST THEATER
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GRAHAM NASH
APR. 25 & 26 KEY WEST THEATER
