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Three out of four women diagnosed with breast cancer have no family history of the disease and are not considered high risk Mammography has helped reduce breast cancer mortality in the U.S. by nearly 40% since 1990 1 in 6 breast cancers occur in women aged 40-49 Even for women over 50, skipping a mammogram every other year would miss up to 30% of cancers SoUrcE: AMEricAn collEgE of rAdiology / SociEty of BrEASt iMAging

(585) 442-2190 ewbc.com


Remind a loved one to get a

mammogram Leaders in

breast cancer detection Services at ALL offices: Latest 3D Mammography with C-View, Screening Ultrasound for dense breasts & Option to wait for results


DARIN S. FASS, CLU, CLF MANAGING PARTNER NEW YORK LIFE INS. CO. FINGER LAKE G.O. 375 WOODCLIFF DR., FAIRPORT NEW YORK 14450 PHONE: 585 248-6710


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COVER STORY 18 A TRUE LEADER DR. STEPHEN VEGA

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REGULARS 106

ON THE WAY UP Shanna Baccarri

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DISHING WITH THE DIVA’S Bring in the Cars

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PODCAST 101

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DECORATING WITH PASTIQUE

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LOCAL BUSINESS MATTERS Caledonia Rotary

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IN HER OWN WORDS Alle’s Story

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QUEEN OF ARTS Corinne Fallone

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LAW & HIP HOP

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WOMAN WHO INSPIRES Linda Harris

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HEALTHY WOMAN Dancewear Express

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HARNESS YOUR ABILITIES

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FOR A GOOD CAUSE Sseko Designs

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RW PRODUCT HIGHLIGHT Monat

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THE GUTSY WOMAN

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CRUISIN WITH RWO

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STRATAGEM

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MORTGAGE TIPS FOR WOMEN

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KARENS KOACHING KORNER

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WOMEN LEADERSHIP

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THE COUNSELING MOVEMENT

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LETS TALK MEDIATION

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REGULARS

FASHION & BEAUTY

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DISHING WITH THE DIVA’S Be Massage

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STYLIN WITH ASHLEY

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IT’S A SUITE LIFE

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FASHION FIRST WITH JOAN LINCOLN

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HEALTH & WELLNESS

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MEALS BY DELEO

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MENTALLY THINKING

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EMPOWERED LIVING

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SOUND & THE CITY

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CONFIDENT IN YOUR OWN SKIN

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PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY

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IN HER DEFENSE

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MIND, BODY, SPIRIT

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CRAZY FIT MAMA

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YOU MATTER

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{ FROM THE PUBLISHER }

“Supporting the fighters, admiring the survivors, honoring the taken, and never, ever giving up hope.”

C

onquering the world is just what the Diva’s of Rochester Woman Online plan to do...the world of online publishing that is!

In this month’s edition we have so many incredible stories of inspiration, courasge, and strength from both the breast cancer, or “Think Pink” side, as well as from the Domestic Violence arena. Thats why we decided to make an entire special section dedicated to Domestic Violence Awareness in this edition featuring the amazing leader of Willow Domestic Violence Center on the cover. Make sure not to miss any of the great articles and resources featured starting on page [56]. It was a true honor for us to be able to work with a true leader in the plastic and cosmetic surgery field for our cover this month in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Dr Stephen Vega, a doctor known for being one of the “best” breast reconstrcutive surgeons around with an incredible bedside manner. Read all about his story starting on page [18].

Kelly T T

ON OUR COVER

On our cover this month for our Breast Cancer and Domestic Violence Awareness edition, we have a true leader in the breast surgery and reconstructive field, Dr. Stephen Vega, owner of Vega Plastic Surgery & Vega Med Spa. He was photographed on location with his staff at their offices in Pittsford by Christopher “Goodknews” Cardwell.

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{ A LOOK AT OUR TEAM }

PUBLISHER EDITOR-IN CHIEF CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN PHOTOGRAPHY

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

ADVERTISING SALES

Kelly Breuer Cheryl Kates-Benman Kelly Breuer Drew Dailey Images Marisa Nicodemus Chris Conlon Sarah Salvilla - Artistic Photography Christopher “Goodknews” Cardwell Devin Mack Natalie Sinisgalli Alexis Gaetano Cheryl Kates-Benman Karen Harmon Ashley Michaelsen Scott Spezzano Liza Pabon Paulette Perix Phyllis Haberer Sharon Quarteart Gloria Onderdonk Michael Quarteart Christine Buff Dave Jenkins Alana Cahoon Audrey Avirett Malena Guadagnino Joan E. Lincoln Linda Harris Mary Kay Tandlmayer Jason Kropidlowski Alexis Santos Shari Santos Heather Hunt Ralph Merato Tracy Brucato Joy Leccese Tammy Reese Judi Swanson Michaele C. Gantz Roberta Goheen Nicole Lambert Tracy Echeverri Allison O’Malley Meaghan lacey de Chateauvieux Kelly Breuer

SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR

The Next Design

WEB DESIGN & MANAGEMENT

The Next Design

Rochester Woman ONLINE is the premier professional woman’s online publication in the greater Rochester area. Our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local area women. The electronic magazines are distributed freely through your favorite app store and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge. Please feel free to contact publisher Kelly Breuer at 585.727.9120 or you can email us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com. Download our current media kit at www. rochesterwomanonline.com. The magazine is published 12 times a year by Rochester Woman ONLINE. Copyright © 2017 Rochester Woman ONLINE. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publisher. Rochester Woman ONLINE is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork. All such submissions become the property of Rochester Woman ONLINE and will not be returned.


ABUSE IS ABUSE. Let’s talk about it.

(585)

222 – SAFE 7233

24/ 7 Crisis & Support Hotline All services free & confidential

En Español WillowCenterNY.org


Finger Lakes Times Sun.pdf

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9/24/18

ROCHESTER MUSEUM & SCIENCE

CENTER

4:51 PM

OPENS FRI.OCT.5

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Discover how sound is made in hands-on exhibits that let you see the motion from sound waves. Dance under sound domes, groove to different genres of music, discover how instruments make music, and relax in a sensory-friendly space.

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Plus, explore music’s roots around the world with one-of-a-kind items from RMSC’s collections.

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This exhibit experience is supported by:

   

      

Media sponsors:

Program support: Rochester Music Hall of Fame and Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra

RMSC.org

657 East Avenue Rochester, NY 14607-2177


Curious where to host your holiday event? The holidays are a special time of year — and your holiday event deserves a venue just as special: the RMSC. Located in Rochester’s historic East End, the RMSC offers elegant, classic, and science-inspired venues for your holiday event. This season, consider the intimate Cunningham House, the spacious Eisenhart Auditorium, or our formal Ballroom and Palm Court. Or for an out-of-the-ordinary experience, host your event in the Science Museum. We can help arrange a truly unique experience for intimate groups of 40 to 60 guests or larger groups of 150 to 200. To learn more, contact our hospitality coordinator: hospitality@rmsc.org or 585.697.1943.


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We’re hiring compassionate people like you!

• Assessment RN • Care Manager • Locally based • Growth Opportunities • Competitive Benefits • Tuition Reimbursement

Apply online: cdslt.org/careers


{ THE JCC CORNER }

MOBILE MAMMOGRAPHY BY JOY GETNICK, PHD

The Louis S. Wolk Jewish Community Center (JCC) is thrilled to welcome Rochester Regional Health’s new Mobile Mammography Center to its Brighton/ Henrietta campus. The JCC prides itself on being a center for health and wellness, with community as its middle name. This new partnership capitalizes on the JCC’s prime location and vast membership, and furthers the organizations’ shared goal of making opportunities for early detection and breast cancer prevention available to all women. The JCC is home to a first rate fitness/ recreation center and multi-pool aquatic complex. It offers wellness clinics and services such as blood drives, flu shot clinics, safe driving classes, nutrition workshops, weight loss support, physical therapy, a cardiac fitness program, Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s classes, Arthritis aqua fitness, and more. It has a full spa complete with massage therapy, a serene yoga studio, mindfulness and meditation classes, and that’s just the beginning! The JCC is a multifaceted center for health and wellness, and expanding its offerings to include this partnership with the Mobile Mammography Center was a natural fit. Despite the American College of Radiology’s recommendation that all women begin to get annual mammograms starting at age 40, in 2015 the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that almost 35% of American women had not had a mammogram in the past two years. There are many reasons women don’t access this life saving technology – don’t have the time, are concerned about the cost, are afraid it will hurt, are fearful of the results. But 46

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“A mammogram on wheels, the Center comes to women, where they are, and meets them on their time. The spacious coach van has two changing rooms for privacy.”

with 1 in 8 US women likely to develop a type of invasive breast cancer at some point in her lifetime, early detection is more important than ever. Started in August 2018, the RRH Mobile Mammography Center seeks to reduce those barriers and empower all women to take control of their own preventative health. It is part of New York State’s “Get Screened, No Excuses” campaign to expand access. And expand access it does! A mammogram on wheels, the Center comes to women, where they are, and meets them on their time. The spacious coach van has two changing rooms for privacy. The non-invasive screening takes just 15 minutes, and results are typically available to your doctor within 24 hours. Preventive screenings such as mammograms are covered under most insurance plans, and for women who don’t have insurance, New York State has programs to cover screening costs. But The Mobile Mammography Center can’t do it alone. The success of this venture depends on finding partners, like the Louis S. Wolk JCC, to open their doors – or really, their parking lots! – to help RRH bring this important service to as many women as possible. And that is something the JCC is proud to do. The Mobile Mammography Center will be on-site at the Louis S. Wolk JCC’s 1200 Edgewood Avenue campus (Rochester NY 14618) on Monday, October 22 from 10am-6pm. Advance appointments are required. To schedule, call 585922-PINK (7465), or visit https://pink. rochesterregional.org/patients/# and scroll down to “schedule your mammogram.” Don’t delay. Do it today. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2018

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{ STYLIN WITH ASHLEY }

5 LANGUAGES OF LOVE BY ASHLEY MICHAELSEN I PHOTOS BY DREW DAILEY IMAGES

We have all been affected by cancer one way or another, either we have had it, overcame it, it has taking us, or we know someone who has dealt with it. Regardless, cancer doesn’t discriminate, it doesn’t matter your age, sex, location, income or physicality. It has affected you. I have had close family members who have, and are currently dealing with cancer. Everything from Lung, tongue, prostate, breast, and ovarian. It is a wicked situation to deal with from beginning to end and as caretakers,visitors, or friends, we often don’t know what to say to help the situation. We often feel helpless or are afraid we will sound like a “Broken record” by singing the same tune every else does. Keep in mind, everyone receives compassion and empathy differently and understanding someone’s love language will help you to determine the best way to make someone feel just a little better. We know that cancer will take its toll either for the good or bad, but as friends, family, or significant others we can figure out ways to still brighten up their day and keep them in a positive state of mind. I am sure most of you know of the five love languages but I have listed them below. You can can even apply this to your friends, family and significant others. But in this case, we can use it as a way to really connect with someone and be there for them during this 48

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hard time. The worst thing to do is run away from the person who may need you the most because you are unsure of how to handle the situation. (The below was written by the Author Dr Chapman of “The 5 Love Languages”)

Furthermore, negative or insulting comments cut deep — and won’t be easily forgiven. 2. QUALITY TIME This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention. Unlike the words of affirmation language, talk is cheap and being a loved one’s main focus leaves quality timers feeling satisfied and comforted. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurt-ful to these individuals. Being there for them is crucial. 3. RECEIVING GIFTS Dr. Chapman says for some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a tangible gift. This doesn’t necessarily mean the person is materialistic, but a meaningful or thoughtful present is was makes them feel appreciated.

1. WORDS OF AFFIRMATION According to Dr. Chapman, this language uses words to affirm other people. For those who prefer the words of affirmation language, hearing “I love you” and other compliments are what they value the most. Words hold real value within this language.

4. ACTS OF SERVICE For these people, actions speak louder than words. People who speak the language of service want their partner to recognize that their life is rough and helps them out in any way possible. Lending a helping hand shows you really care. People who thrive on this language do not deal well with broken promises — or perceived laziness — and have very little tolerance for people who make more work for them. Basically, if you’re not willing to show your


{ COVER STORY }

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“We have all been affected by cancer one way or another, either we have had it, overcame it, it has taking us, or we know someone who has dealt with it. Regardless, cancer doesn’t discriminate, it doesn’t matter your age, sex, location, income or physicality. It has affected you.”


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{ STYLIN WITH ASHLEY } We know that cancer will take its toll either for the good or bad, but as friends, family, or significant others we can figure out ways to still brighten up their day and keep them in a positive state of mind.

appreciation by doing them a favor, you’re saying you don’t value them. 5. PHYSICAL TOUCH To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch. That doesn’t mean only in the bedroom — everyday physical connections, like hand-holding, kissing, or any type of re-affirming physical contact is greatly appreciated. A person who speaks the language of physical touch isn’t necessarily an over-the-top PDA’er, but getting a little touchy-feely does make them feel safe and loved. Given this information, you can apply it to almost any type of general situation, but I think it could especially work when someone is going through a difficult time. Here are some suggestions using the love language system and applying to to someone who is going through an illness or a tough time. Words of Affirmation- Sometimes just a good normal conversation can help someone to keep their mind off of what’s going on. Try to bring up positive funny memories between you two. Maybe a childhood memory or even a movie or song you have always connected on. Keep the conversation uplifting and positive but personal. Quality time- Do something with them that they would enjoy. Maybe a movie, a quality night in. A casual dinner out. A nice simple walk. Maybe even go with them to one of their Dr appts. Do something you know they LOVE, just be with them, focused

and present. Really soak in this time with them. Receiving gifts-Only rule here-Be thoughtful. Maybe some healing stones, maybe a handwritten card, and if you are going to buy something more materialistic than consider doing it more customized. For example, if you buy a piece a jewelry maybe add their initials or a empowerment word. Also-consider bringing them their favorite drink or food. Acts of service- I believe with acts of service, many things can work as long as it will make their life easier, and one less thing they need to worry or think about. Maybe take their dog for a weekend, or maybe even babysit their kids if they have. Something that gives them some solo time. You could also make them dinner or plan a special relaxing night for them.

them in whatever capacity they need and resonant with. Put yourself in their shoes, and really try to imagine what they are going through. We do sound like a broken record if we just simply say “Get well” or “Speedy recovery” I feel although we mean well when using those words, think of something a little more personal, or as the saying goes “Action speak louder than words” I am a not a doctor or a therapist by any means, but watching immediate relatives and close family go through these hard times, has made me realize there is a lot more we do to make them feel better, if we get creative and really put some thought into it.

Drive them to their appointments and in between those appts, fill up their gas tank, or grab some groceries. Physical Touch-Sometimes just holding their hand is enough. Massaging a place on their body that may be sour. Rubbing their back and letting them know you are there for them to open up and vent. A genuine hug, not just a quick one arm hug, but one that really embraces the love and compassion you have for them are all good examples of this love language. Unfortunately, life itself doesn’t stop when anyone gets sick or is even having a bad day. So the most we can do is lighten the load for them, and let them know you are there for ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2018

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{ FASHION FIRST }

MILLENIAL PINK BY JOAN LINCOLN

For such a cuddly color, millennial pink has a surprisingly tight grip on the fashion world, holding the de facto title of the “It” hue for three years (at least). But evidence suggests that its stubbornly photogenic reign may be nearing an end. Does this mean that a new age is upon us, one where all colors live in harmony and are appreciated equally? Advertisers are typically early adopters of trends, and the genesis of Millennial Pink is no different. It’s use in advertising campaigns is the reason it’s familiar to most people. But Millennial Pink goes beyond a simple identifier of feminine products. Its evolution and deeper tonality have made it “THE” color for today, embodying so many of today’s issues surrounding identity. So whether you’re designing an email to announce involvement in any global march for a cause or next year’s International Women’s Day, or your advertising a breakthrough product, Millennial Pink means you’re communicating a sense of cultural awareness and relevancy. Mi l l e n n i a l p i n k , otherwise known as blush or delicate pink, is the trend that simply will not go away. It’s everywhere from Instagram-ready restaurants, to couches, clothing and advertising for all genders. It’s driving fashion editors up the wall. And it’s a glorious time for anybody who reveled in shades of pink in their childhood and is now discovering that the adult world pairs them with bronze bookends and crystal decanters and deems them sophisticated. But the story behind the obsession with millennial pink is deeper than simply a passing trend. It involves everything from gender roles to ideas of beauty, evolution, and science. 88

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Why do I like pink so much?

If pink is your go to color and you consider it your favorite color, you are loving, kind, generous and sensitive to the needs of others. You are friendly and approachable with a warmth and softness others are drawn to. You are the nurturers of the world - you love to give nurturing and to receive nurturing in return. Perhaps Color Psychology can be used to associate your love for pink with your personality traits. Studies have shown that

people who love pink generally share the following traits: • They are loving, kind, generous and sensitive to the needs of others. • They are friendly and approachable, and others are drawn to them. • They have a maternal instinct, a need to protect and take care of others. They also have a need to be taken care of, as they do

tend to neglect themselves when trying to take care of the needs of others. • They are very much in touch with their femininity - this includes men who are in touch with their feminine side. • They are romantic, sensual and sensitive. All that said, the association with the color pink at certain times of the year can remind of the good, the bad and the ugly. Wear the “it” color or not what we all know is that the color pink can sends powerful messages ans statements. It is a bit refreshing to see folks break away from the love affair that they have with black. Color permeates every aspect of our lives.. so why not shine a little “Tickled Pink” in your life. Could it be that, in the face of dark and heavy clouds over the political, social and environmental aspects of our lives, we’re embracing color as an act of defiant optimism? Go live life with style & flair...with Panache!!! Joan E. Lincoln Panache Vintage & Finer Consignment, Inc. Trilogy Fashion Foundry 1855 Monroe Avenue ~ Brighton Commons Rochester, NY 14618 www.panacheconsignboutique.com Today’s Posh Daily Sale! Warm 101.3 Fashion First 585-473-5343 (store) 585-738-6541 (cell)


{ SPECIAL FEATURE }

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BLOW OUT SAL AFFORDABL MATTRESSE

AFFORDABLE FURNITURE I 740 DRIVING PARK AVE


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We’re hiring compassionate people like you! • Direct Support Professional ($500 signing bonus!) • I/DD RN ($1500 signing bonus!)

• Mission-driven culture • Affordable healthcare • Professional development • Wellness reimbursement

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{ IN HER OWN WORDS }

PAULETTE PETIX BY PAULETTE PETIX

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At 54 years old menopause was hitting hard, mood swings, hot flashes you name it. While these physical and emotional issues were happening, I was attempting to forge ahead with life. On April 23, 2013 I went to Wende Logan for a routine mammogram, as I had done every year since I was 35 years old. The next morning, I got a call, they needed a clearer picture and I needed to come in that afternoon. I wasn’t prepared for what came next, ultra sounds and tests, all leading to a series of biopsies, on both breasts. I was told a Dr would call with the results in a few days. Sure, it was nothing, I went on with life. at 5:30 The following Tuesday I got the call. He called it DISC, ductal carcinoma in situ, a noninvasive form of breast cancer on my left breast. As I wrote everything he said down I just kept thinking that this wasn’t real. The next few days were a series of tests, I particularly remember a nurse at Wende Logan putting an IV in me right before an MRI and saying, “make sure when you have chemo they put a port in you, it’s tough to get to your veins.” What she said, hit me like a ton of bricks, it became real.

family ad friends. I never said the word cancer, I told everyone my mammogram came back bad. That word was not in my vocabulary.

Through this only 3 people knew, my husband and 2 girlfriends, I had the task of telling my kid, and the rest of my

Our options were, radiation, single mastectomy with reconstruction or a double mastectomy with reconstruction.

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2018

My husband and I met with Dr Caldwell the following week, he came highly recommended and for some reason we liked his matter of fact and direct consultation. He suggested a lumpectomy stating that if he got it all I wouldn’t need further treatment. We put our

trust in him and on May 24th I had out patient surgery. He said he would call with the results the following week. At 9:30 P.M. on May 30th my phone rang, and Dr Caldwell said he did not get clear margins and we needed to talk about our next step.

A client of my husbands is an oncology radiologist, he got us right in and explained the process, though technology has come a long way my cancer was in my left breast, the heart as well as the lungs could be affected by the radiation. Ultimately it was my decision, but he thought that it was not my best option. I wanted this gone and I didn’t want to look back, knowing full well the decision would be the double mastectomy with reconstruction. Dr Stephen Vega was our next appointment. T he team at his office was amazing although I was not fully expecting what the days ahead would bring no question of ours went unanswered. I was scheduled for a double mastectomy with a TRAM reconstruction. Fat from my tummy (and other areas) was used to reconstruct my breasts. This is the true meaning of life giving you lemons and making lemonade and Dr Vega is one of a very few surgeons that preform this surgery. One last hurrah before surgery, my friends got together for a “going away” party. Laughing and enjoying friends, best medicine ever! I checked into Highland Hospital on August 2, 2013, for an 8-hour surgery. When I was wheeled into my room where my family was waiting for me I


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I was given the great news that my lymph nodes were clear although we couldn’t celebrate yet, the next 24 hours were critical in this surgery as the nursing staff on the woman’s floor at Highland had the daunting task of giving me an ultra sound every hour to make sure there was blood flow in each breast. Thankfully both breasts made it. Dr Caldwell visited and told me I made he right decision to remove both, the right breast had suspect cells that could have led to another surgery down the road. I wasn’t quite prepared to see the finished product, it wasn’t exactly what I envisioned but Dr Vega assured me that in time I would be very pleased, he was right, he is truly a perfectionist. 112

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I couldn’t have gotten through this without my family and close girlfriends but most of all my husband who has never looked at me like I was anything less than the woman he married. I never thought about telling my story before, mostly because it was the best possible outcome and I now realize woman need to hear that too, breast cancer does not always end badly. I can’t stress enough the importance of a routine mammogram, it saved my life. This also gave me the opportunity to investigate the hormonal aspect of this disease, this past spring a good friend introduced me to Be Balanced, a homeopathic hormonal program that has weight loss benefits as well. If I

would have known about this product 5 years ago the emotional part of my journey may have been very different. In September of this year we opened the first Be Balanced Center in upstate NY. It is life changing for woman who are struggling with weight and hormonal issues.


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ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE IS PROUD TO BE ABLE TO FEATURE THE INCREDIBLE PHOTOGRAPHER’S OF RWO IN A SPECIAL HIGHLIGHT EACH MONTH. THIS MONTH WE HAVE DEVIN MACK AND MARISA NICODEMUS. ENJOY!

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MARISA NICODEMUS Hi, I am Marisa Nicodemus owner of Marisa MN Photography. I started out about 6 years ago with teaching myself everything that I know about photography. I studied professional photographers work, read photography books and watched tutorials and as I read and researched, I took image after image until I got exactly what I wanted to achieve with the settings on the camera. Yet, I will say that I have so much more that I have to learn and grow ... which is the best

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part because I want to be better than I was yesterday! I feel as if everyone and everything holds so much beauty... If it’s a person or a family or nature and landscapes. I want to share my vision through my camera lens for you all to see and experience the beauty that surrounds us each and every single day. Life is trying and short, yet filled with beauty and experiences and we each have such a beautiful story to tell

about ourselves because we are all so unique. My inspiration comes from everyone I meet and everything that I am surrounded by to : Letting me capture your story, your moments... as we turn life into a memory forever! Contact me at: (585) 426-0562 Email me at: mnicodemus.mn@ gmail.com Facebook page: Marisa MN Photography Instagram page: marisa.mnphotography


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HE DIVA’S - Road Trip


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MAKE NY WET AGAIN BY THE RWO DIVA’S I PHOTOS BY MARISA NICODEMUS

Have you ever wondered, why recently independent distilleries and craft breweries are popping up all over NY? Did you know, for a 13-year period, alcohol manufacturing was banned in the United States? Rochester Woman Online wanted to know, so we could share this interesting piece of history with you, our readers. The first distillery in NY showed its face around 1640 (1). The Prohibition dried up most of the distilleries until recently, when they began to make a comeback in 2004 (1). NY is one of the top five craft spirit producers, with as of (2015) a 2.4-billion-dollar retail business (1). As for the breweries, there are approximately 6,000 producers responsible for the brewing in the United States (2). In 1920, the 18th amendment was passed forbidding the sale, manufacturing and distribution of alcohol (3). This was during the great depression and contributed to it widely (3). This movement was pushed by a lobbying force referred to as the “drys”. The push behind the ban was an action to decrease immigration, strengthen families and increase morality (3). It was largely a religious push (3). The ban did basically nothing but push alcohol to the black market/bootlegging and became a dangerous substitution when people began distilling their own alcohol (3). It is estimated 1,000 people a year died between (1920-1933) from alcohol poisoning (3). The biggest 144

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impact of the prohibition was economical as the government lost an 11-billion-dollar tax revenue during the time the prohibition took place (3). The urban population, for the most part, opposed the prohibition and a repeal movement began (3). The prohibition increased violent criminal acts as opposed to decreasing crimes (3). The repeal movement was largely based on the encroachment of

freedom (3). In 1922, the 21st amendment was passed repealing the 18th amendment and America was wet again! (3). Al Capone made millions. This movement attributed to the birth of “speak easy and jazz music private venues” (3).

MAKING NY WET AGAIN LAKEWARD SPIRITS

RWO took a road trip! Just over an hour away, we headed off to Buffalo, NY. Many

of us have visited the mall, passed through stopping off on the way to Niagara Falls, or even spent a day watching the Buffalo Bills. We all know about Anchor Bar and the Buffalo Chicken Wings. Do you know about the Barrel Factory? Its an awesome building which houses some cool businesses! Among them are Lakeward Spirits and Pressure Drop Brewing.

L A K EWA R D S P I R I TS DISTILLING WITH THE DIVAS!

There was a downfall in the “Buffalo area, malt houses” after the prohibition was lifted by the 21st amendment. Lakeward Spirits is a one-of-a kind distillery, found within the Barrel Factory. This is a 115-year-old (1903) building located in Buffalo’s 1st Ward on the Tecumsah Canal. The bricks were made onsite when the 40,000 sq. foot factory was erected. The entire building was rebuilt using repurposed metal which provides a special cozy environment in an industrial, old world back drop. Some of the wood used in the building’s restoration include wood from a 200-year-old barn. It is a family-owned business, where the moto is “creation, stewardship, community, #looklakeward!” Their products include Grain Canyon Vodka, Evergreen Gin, Inland Sea Rum, and Wild Gin. The cocktails served are considered a work of love and art. On any given day, stop in and grab a “Porch Peach” or a “Bees Knees”. Maybe you’d


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{ DISHING WITH THE DIVAS } “Through the creation of quality spirits, to accompany the daily adventures, along with the responsible use of resources and continued stewardship over their local watershed, there is investment in the community to keep the local community, neighborhood, region and country strong!”

rather “The French Quarter” or a “Buffalo Negroni”. There’s something for everyone. In 1927, the original Barrel Factory experienced a fire. You can still see some of the damage caused as some charring still is visible. The Western NY Paranormal Society did a show on investigation of paranormal activities. Employees reported during the restoration they experienced some strange happenings. When the flooring was being done, employees experienced an energy with a brisk chill in the air and lights flickering. While on the second floor, an employee thought he heard a machine running and smelled the after effect of the machine running but he did not turn on the machine. A friend reported seeing a female ghost walking back and forth on the second floor. While investigating, the team found evidence of spirits. This was an interesting part of getting the Barrel Factory up and running for business! Lakeward prides themselves as helping contribute to revitalization of Buffalo’s Old First Ward. They also are proud they support using American-made products in their manufacturing plant. Their mission states, “Through the creation of quality spirits, to accompany the daily adventures, along with the responsible use of resources and continued stewardship over their local watershed, there is investment in the community to keep the local community, neighborhood, region and country strong!” (see website)

Until recently, the major bulk of malting was conducted in the Midwest and California. There are now 4 malters in WNY. These malters, help provide quality barley for use. Lakeward Spirits’ 5,000-gallon reservoir is in their floor, where the copper stills are cooled. This heat sink allows Lakeward to reuse water indefinitely. They further recycle and offer spent mash to local farmers for use as compost and feed. The business gives back to the locals.

THE SPIRITS

Wild Gin- This is a 16-botanical blend. The thought is “the sweet fresh aroma permeating from a path between a field and a forest”. The slogan is “sip slowly and escape to the wild valley’s edge”. Grain Canyon Vodka- This is a three-grain blend, earthy barley, silken wheat and rye for structure. Inland Sea Rum- This product contains the finest molasses. They use a unique yeast strain, which is combined with the use of the copper columns. This process creates a smooth feel when tested with a spicy aroma.

Evergreen Gin- This is a product which has a refreshing juniper forward botanical blend with a base of NYS grains.

SPOTLIGHT ON ALLIE RALBOVSKY

Allie started off attending school for graphic design and doing free lance work with Rusty Nickel Brewing (Prior to their actual establishment). She functioned as a “brewtender”. The company’s policy was to train the employees on the process of brewing, so they were able to pass the knowledge on to customers. Allie was also home brewing, so she was a sponge seeking knowledge! She was interested in the production process and took every opportunity to learn. Before she knew it, she was working more in the brewery and less as a bar tender. Down the line, she became their assistant brewer. A year and a half later, she met Adam Bystran (head distiller at Lakeward) and she started a new career in distilling! Allie is one of the few female distillers. RWO asked her about the glass ceiling etc. in male-dominated businesses. Allie shared with us saying, “Sadly, I feel like I am immune, or I choose to tune out the battles, comments or assumptions which are made about women in the industry or even women consumers because I’ve grown used to it. I do feel like Buffalo is getting better, especially with the boom of breweries and distilleries. As a consumer, I was constantly told by brewery owners that they didn’t think I would like that double ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2018

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{ DISHING WITH THE DIVAS } “I would not be able to do what I do without him, literally and figuratively. He sacrifices a lot so that I can attend events, meetings and complete lots of work at home. He is also the most supportive of me and my career. He listens to a lot of venting, problem solving and logistical planning. A close second is my daughter, Maeve. She’s a-year-and -half. I tell her daily I am building a legacy”. - Lexi

IPA and I’d be more suited for a blueberry wheat or a shandy. My favorite move was being told that, I tried appeasing them by trying these fruit beers and continuing to order the double IPA. I then introduce myself and shake their hands letting them know, I was an assistant brewer. I feel since I’ve been distilling, Buffalo has really come around and is incredibly supportive. Adam is so supportive of me as a woman (in a power position) and distiller. I’m pretty sure I am the only female distiller in the area. All local distillers and industry folk have been respectful.

she is also named as the event bar manager. She describes what she does: “I mill, mash, distill and package all spirits. I collaborate with Adam and sometimes other parties about creating new seasonal cocktail menus. I make most of the bar syrups (grenadine, sour mix, several flavored

Her parents encouraged creativity but also instilled a great work ethic for all of their children.

There are so many degrees of feminism. I do agree I am a feminist, but I chose to view women and men as equals instead of trying to put men down for gain. Ultimately, I felt their female agendas hurt female-to-female relationships Which is in the end isn’t that the most important?”

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Allie recalls one of the obstacles she had to overcome in life was being diagnosed as an epileptic at age 16. This was trying for her as a young woman trying to obtain her driver’s license. She struggled with the changes she went through as a teen ager. She is happy that as a young adult she grew out of it! Allie is thankful of her parents being so supportive in her life. They are both in the medical field. None of their three children followed in their footsteps. They are all in creative or trade fields. Allie’s one brother is a mechanic. The other is studying Culinary and Allie is a graphic designer and distiller.

I do feel women aren’t taken quite as seriously would be my only complaint now. Sadly, as a brewer, at first, I had a lot of blow back when trying to collaborate with other female brewers. Some issues I agreed with, while others I felt were outlandish. After getting to know people in the industry the experience is very positive.

Allie knows the value of being a team player. She has worked for local business exclusively. She learned early to become a jack of all trades. She shares “I am first a distiller”. She has functioned as a bar tender etc. Now,

and grooms regarding their signature cocktail needs. I work most efficiently when I am working as a multi-tasker”.

simple syrups and any crazy concoctions we come up with!) I bartend, set up for weddings/events, ensure the bar runs smoothly and meet with brides

Allie reflects saying, “My Dad used to buy variety packs of craft beer. We’d taste them and talk about them. I feel this is what sparked my interest in home brewing, which grew to brewing and now distilling. I would like to do a similar thing with whiskey. I find whiskey at stores and take-home different brands to experiment with creating cocktails. This is the start of my excitement in starting the whiskey program at Lakeward. Since distilling, I like to toy with fun ingredients and mixing new creative cocktails with all of our spirits”.


Allie is just 27-years-old. Her parents are responsible for showing her two responsible adults to have as role-models growing up. She thanks them for this. She was able to achieve so much at a young age and be a role- model for other women as one of the first female distillers.

PRESSURE DROP BREWING

Moving on to the breweries! What exactly is a craft brewer? I’ve wondered. Have you? The Brewer’s Association defines a craft brewer as: “A craft brewer is a small operation which brews 6 million or less per year, is less than 25 % owned or controlled by beverage alcohol industry members who aren’t craft brewers and use traditional, innovative brewing ingredients and fermentation” (3). Lexi Craine is one of the owners of Pressure Drop Brewing along with Karl Kolbe, Gabe

Maloney, Matt Miller and Jim Kolbe. She started out with a career in finance and management. The birth of Pressure Drop Brewing stemmed from the head brewer and Lexi’s co-owner operator, who is also her cousin, coming up with the idea and asking her to join the team in 2017. Lexi was interested in joining this industry and studied it for years. Co-owner, Karl won a medal in the IPA category at the Sierra Nevada Brewing Company’s Beer Camp home-brewing competition in Chico, CA. Pressure Drop Brewing has an interesting concept behind the name. Named after Buffalo’s erratic lake-effect weather (barometric pressure changes with a storm), coupled with the fluid dynamics of brewing, and the pressure drop experienced when transferring beer from one tank to another = Pressure Drop Brewing.

Lexi tells us she was lucky in her experiences in Buffalo, NY because it’s an accepting and diversified industry, where she experienced no discrimination weighing in as a female entrepreneur in the brewing industry. Learning the ins and outs of the business was challenging and it kept the team on its toes when they were just getting started out. Lexi feels, “Once you have a business-like mind, most knowledge is transferrable”. RWO always wants to know who the most significant person in a successful woman’s story is, for Lexi it is her husband Chris. She shares, “I would not be able to do what I do without him, literally and figuratively. He sacrifices a lot so that I can attend events, meetings and complete lots of work at home. He is also the most supportive of me and my career. He listens to a lot of venting, ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2018

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{ DISHING WITH THE DIVAS } “A craft brewer is a small operation which brews 6 million or less per year, is less than 25 % owned or controlled by beverage alcohol industry members who aren’t craft brewers and use traditional, innovative brewing ingredients and fermentation”

problem solving and logistical planning. A close second is my daughter, Maeve. She’s a-year-and -half. I tell her daily I am building a legacy”. Pressure Drop Brewing is unique because of their beer, of course! The company specializes in West Coast IPA’s and Double IPA’s. The filtered style gives the beer a clean, crisp taste that is definitely worth a sample, if you haven’t experienced it yet. Lexi says in her definitely biased opinion “It’s the best in the market!” Lexi was asked what some of her favorite memories were along the way? She indicated she has memories with each milestone they reached. From the day their equipment was delivered, obtaining their licenses, the first brew day, and the first distributor order. It was all part of her making her dream come true. She shares to all the women out there thinking about starting a business, “If you believe you belong at the table, so will everyone else”. Beers include the Strummer (6%) 15 IBU (light Belgium with a note of banana and clove), Sticky Trees (6.5%) 45 IBU (grapefruit and citrus), Citra Screamer (4.9%) 22 IBU (Citra), Aqua Buddha (7.4%) 60 IBU (double dry hopped DPA with peach 152

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and pineapple), Space Monkey(Episode 2) Attack of the Space Monkey (7.4%) 65 IPU (DIPA, unfiltered, tangerine, nectarine and pineapple), Buckstar (6.0%) 21 IBU (Columbian beans, caramel notes), Blackalicious (11%) 34 IBU (chocolate. caramel, brown sugar), The 672 (5.1%) 33 IBU (cascade and centennial hops with citrus and pine, Hella Melon (6.5%) 45 IBU, (sweet melons) and No Irish Need

Apply (6%) 40 IBU (CTZ, Cascade and Centennial hops with pine, citrus and resin). (see pressuredropbrewers.com for more information). Pressure Drop Brewing is set to launch its newest beer, October 4. Mildly Hazardous is a beer for the “lighter drinker with a 3.7 percent ABV (volume of alcohol). It is an English style mild ale with a mixture of light chocolate and roast. Every Thursday Pressure Drop and Lakeward participate in “Thursdays at the Barrel

Factory”. They have live music, BBQ, board games and happy hour drink specials (5-9). The Brewery will also be pouring at the Hops and Swaps Festival at Greek Peak (Cortland, NY) October 13th, 2018. Additional beers are scheduled for release including Counterclockwise (5%) pale ale and Dank Sinatra (6%) IPA collaboration with Knee Deep Brewing (Auburn, CA). Lakeward Spirits and Pressure Drop Brewing share a tasting room in the Barrel Factory in Buffalo. The Divas (myself, Kelly Breuer and photographer M a r i s a Ni c o d e m u s ) took a road trip and stopped in. I can tell you at first entrance to the historical building, I was totally mesmerized with the décor, the atmosphere and the overall feeling I got from the Barrel Factory itself. The ambiance of a building from the past being restored to allow us to enjoy today preserving the “old world” flavor just started the day off as a positive experience. The décor was reflective of a time we once knew. The building was kind of set off in a world of its own on a street by the tracks. The additional businesses who are also housed in the building, share a common area where guests can patronize the other businesses there. So, in addition to grabbing a drink, you can grab some


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{ SHIFT+CONTROL } { DISHING WITH THE DIVAS } “It was an old warehouse which turned into a beautiful space where you can now get something to eat, drink, drink wonderful handcrafted cocktails and fine made beers. You can go on a tour, learning about the processed steps of how they make beer and spirits, turning grain into smooth tasting beverages.”

you can grab some grub as well. In addition to the tasting room, there is a large space for weddings or events upstairs, a patio and a roof top. We started out at Lakeward Spirits then toured Pressure Drop Brewing and we were absolutely blown away by learning about how they make their products on site and then being led on a tour, so we could see all of the behind the scenes equipment and manufacturing. It was definitely an interesting and breathtaking experience for me. I was amazed by the commitment and knowledge of everyone we met and interacted with and their open willingness to share their craft and the love they have for it. After we learned how everything was made, we had the awesome experience of being able to indulge and taste the products. It was interesting because Kelly, myself and Marisa all have different alcohol tastes in which we indulge, so it was a great experience where Lakeward Spirits and Pressure Drop Brewing had something for each of us that we expressly enjoyed. Allie, Becky and Lexi were such gracious hostesses. All of the products we sampled were awesome. The cocktails were beautifully presented and 154

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just beyond awesome. Marisa Nicodemus stated, “I recently travelled with the Divas to the Barrel Factory in Buffalo to shoot at Lakeward Spirits and Pressure Drop Brewing. It was an amazing place. It was an old warehouse which turned into a beautiful space where you can now get something to eat, drink, drink wonderful handcrafted cocktails and fine made beers.

were very nice and accommodated our every need. I would highly recommend this place as it is well-worth the short drive”. Kelly Breuer said, “The location was breathtaking, and getting to watch how they actually work behind the scenes was amazing. But, the best part was sampling the specialty drinks. Of course my favorite was the River Runner made with their incredible Rum.” She also said, “Speakng with Lakewards young female distiller was so interested. Finding out what made her decide to do this as a career, and to come join Lakeward. Then watching her make our drinks was so much fun. She is truly a talented young lady!” I can’t wait to take another trip to Buffalo.

You can go on a tour, learning about the processed steps of how they make beer and spirits, turning grain into smooth tasting beverages.

Looking for a day trip ? A night on the town? Planning an event? The short drive to Buffalo, is well worth the trip to check out Lakeward Spirits and Pressure Drop Brewing.

Upstairs there is a beautiful space with old wood and ideally a place I would recommend to others to have a party or an event there. It’s very elegant, yet they have created a feeling of an old farm house style. The people we encountered while visiting

Resources 1. NYS Distillers Guild, (2018). Retrieved August 18, 2018, from www.nydistilled.com 2. Brewers Association, (2018). Retrieved August 18, 2018 from www.brewersassociation.org 3. Watch Mojo (2018). The Prohibition in the US, Retrieved from You Tube, www.youtube.com


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Check out Lakeward Spirits’ high-quality craft spirits produced from scratch onsite in Buffalo, NY! OLD FIRST WARD 65 VANDALIA STREET BUFFALO, NY 14204 I WWW.LAKEWARDSPIRITS.COM


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TRUE BEAUTY STARTS WITH HEALTHY SKIN BY GLORIA D. ONDERDONK

True beauty is what radiates from within and is reflected in one’s soul and in healthy skin. If we are filled with joy and love, we will radiate joy and our skin will be brighter and healthy, but if we are miserable and in a toxic environment, we won’t be beautiful and your skin won’t be healthy. Did you know that your skin it’s the largest organ in the body and one of the most complicated? It has many roles in the maintenance of life and health. Your precious skin is the first line of defense against diseases and the sun’s rays, gives us the sense of touch and contributes to the perception of health, wellness, youth and beauty. Beautiful, healthy looking skin is the first indication of a person’s overall health. Your skin often gives visible signals when it (and your body) is being attacked. Most people have had rashes from allergies and learn to stay away from certain foods or plants. But did you know that if you have a rash that is purple and velvety and appears on the back of your neck or the folds of your body, that it could be a sign of Type II 160

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Diabetes? A red butterfly-shaped rash under each eye and on your nose could be a symptom of lupus, while yellow skin is often associated with liver problems. There is so much information our skin can tell us about our health. Any changes in our skin which don’t look healthy become an excellent reason to

go see a skin doctor, a dermatologist. So, what is unhealthy skin and what causes it? Unhealthy skin is often dry or cracked and allows our bodies to be attacked by microorganisms more easily. Our skin has three layers: the epidermis (outer layer) responsible for protecting the body and giving our skin color. It also has the important function of creating a

waterproof barrier (isn’t that helpful!). It is this outer layer which, if not moisturized, can create tiny, tiny fissures for microorganisms to gain access to our bodies. Once they are in, they cause infection and use up vital energy, making us weaker for more infection. An unhealthy epidermis also makes our bodies more susceptible to environmental factors. The second layer is the dermis which contains connective tissue, hair follicles, and sweat glands. The third layer is the hypodermis and is made of fat and connective tissue. The outer layer of skin is, in many respects, the most important and keeping it healthy is an important part of a relatively easy daily routine. That routine consists of making sure you drink enough plain water each day to hydrate all your organs and, very importantly, your skin. In addition, direct application of a moisturizer in the morning such as our Pure Moisturizer will give your skin that instant hydrating boost. Cold temperatures and the sun’s rays both can dry out your skin by taking its moisture. On colder days


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“It’s worth living a vibrant and healthy life, it’s worth looking after your skin. The more you take care of your skin, the better your skin can do its job in taking care of you because true beauty starts with healthy skin.”


{ RESPONSIBLE BEAUTY } “If we are filled with joy and love, we will radiate joy and our skin will be brighter and healthy, but if we are miserable and in a toxic environment, we won’t be beautiful and your skin won’t be healthy.”

daily routine, and you will be glad you did. The key to achieving healthy, wellbalanced skin is to nourish the skin with natural plant-based ingredients, rich in vitamins, minerals, and free from toxins and harsh synthetics. Once absorbed by your skin, these nutrients, found in Kaia Earth Skin Care, products work symbiotically with your skin’s essential processes 164

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helping to leave your skin vibrant and healthy. It’s worth living a vibrant and healthy life, it’s worth looking after your skin. The more you take care of your skin, the better your skin can do its job in taking care of you because true beauty starts with healthy skin.

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13 WAYS TO SPREAD BREAST CANCER AWARENESS BY LIZA PABON

Every October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, an opportunity to spread awareness about the disease that kills nearly 41,000 women each year. No matter your office budget, there are plenty of ways to raise breast cancer awareness in the workplace. It’s also a fantastic opportunity to engage the local community through educational events and fundraising challenges.

employees to use their talents for raising awareness. Keep it simple with facts, or create a themed board to draw more attention. Some ideas: •Honor/Support Board Encourage employees to write a message of support for someone who is fighting breast cancer. Notes to survivors or deceased loved ones may be encouraged as well.

will love watching the tree “grow” throughout the month.

Ready to get started? Here are 13 ideas to spread breast cancer awareness:

• Bra Board Tack up or draw fancy bras with the message “Show Your Support!”

7. “LUNCH AND LEARN” WITH A BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR Ask a breast cancer survivor to come and speak at a lunch and learn in your office. Employees will appreciate hearing a firsthand account of why prevention measures are so important. At the end, hand out resources and a list of local providers who offer mammograms covered by your health insurance.

1. WEAR A PINK RIBBON DAILY IN OCTOBER At the start of the month, hand out pink ribbons to everyone in your office. Encourage your employees to wear it daily as a reminder and to keep conversation opportunities open about breast health. 2. “ART YOUR BRA” AUCTION Gather up bras to bedazzle and auction off at a gala or other fundraising event. The fancier, the better! If someone in your office is battling breast cancer, send the proceeds to help pay for treatment. Or, send the funds to a local breast cancer research center. 3. HOST A PINK FASHION SHOW Invite friends and family to a fashion show run by employees hitting the “runway” in all pink clothing. Add in crazy hats, feather boas, and big sunglasses. Throughout the evening, the emcee can share facts and resources about breast cancer. 4. HOLD A PINK PUMPKIN CONTEST What’s better than combining Halloween activities with a good cause? Have employees create their best breast cancer awareness pumpkin to showcase. Display pumpkins in the lobby (or even the local chamber of commerce office) with collection jars next to each one. The pumpkin with the most jar donations wins! Donate the funds to a cause like Susan G. Komen or a local cancer center for women. 5. BREAST CANCER AWARENESS BULLETIN BOARD Get crafty and decorate a bulletin board in a highly-trafficked area. Encourage your artistic 168

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• Grow a Pink Tree Board Collect donations throughout the month. For employees who donate, have them trace their hand on pink construction paper and add it to the tree on your bulletin board. Employees

6. HOST A 50/50 RAFFLE This fundraiser is simple and fun for offices of all sizes. Have employees vote for their favorite breast cancer charity ahead of the raffle. Split the proceeds 50/50 with the winner and the charity. Win-win!


{ STRATAGEM } Do you have an office full of givers? Take up a collection of brand-new scarves and hats to deliver to a local chemo center. Since many women lose their hair during treatment, a bright scarf or hat will make her day.

8. ORGANIZE A WALK/RUN EVENT Build office camaraderie and spirits by organizing a group to participate in a local breast cancer walk or run. Susan G. Komen offers Race for the Cure and 3-day events, along with plenty of local events as well that don’t include exercise. Proceeds go toward scientific research to cure breast cancer. 9. DONATION DRESS-DOWN Employees who usually wear business attire will love the opportunity to dress-down — especially for a good cause. Allow any employee who offers a donation for breast cancer research to dress casually for a day or even a week. Not sure where to send donations? Charity Watch and Charity Navigator shows donors which organizations get an A grade for being good stewards of donations.

10. COLLECT SCARVES AND HATS Do you have an office full of givers? Take up a collection of brand-new scarves and hats to deliver to a local chemo center. Since many women lose their hair during treatment, a bright scarf or hat will make her day. Better yet, if any of your office staff enjoys knitting or crocheting, ask them if they’d be willing to make some hats. 11. DIY FUNDRAISER Allow employees to pick their own style of fundraising — individually or as a team. They can also choose to join an already existing fundraiser as well. Check out the Susan G. Komen fundraising site for details and share with your employees. 12. CUBICLE/DOOR/HALLWAY

DECORATING CONTEST Let your employees go wild with pink creativity in their work spaces. Whether they have a cubicle, door, or whole hallway, encourage workers to spread awareness with their decorating skills. Employees can donate to participate, or just do it for fun. Have coworkers vote for the most creative space. You may award the winner with a prize — a paid day off, 50/50 raffle earnings, etc. 13. PROVIDE EDUCATION Sharing these facts with your employees may save a life. Send them off in a newsletter, or print a list to hang in the break room. The following facts are from the National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc. and American Cancer Society, which offer excellent resources to learn more about breast cancer. • Breast cancer is the most common cancer for women worldwide • 1 in 8 women receive a breast cancer diagnosis • On average, every 2 minutes a female is diagnosed with breast cancer • 1 woman will die of breast cancer every 13 minutes • Alcohol use increases the risk of breast cancer • Over 3.3 million breast cancer survivors are alive in the U.S. today • An estimated 2,470 men will be diagnosed with breast cancer • 1 in 1,000 men will receive a breast cancer diagnosis • Breast cancer occurrence and death rates generally increase with age • Only 5-10% of individuals diagnosed have a family history of breast cancer SHARING IS CARING No matter how your company leadership decides to acknowledge breast cancer awareness month, you’ll want employees to feel comfortable reaching out if they have questions. These ideas and activities are meant to be lighthearted while still spreading valuable information that can start the conversation — and save a life. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2018

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{ LOCAL { SHIFT+CONTROL BUSINESS MATTERS } }

THE LADIES BEHIND SALON DELEES BY LINDA HARRIS I PHOTOS BY DEVIN MACK

High school friends Lisa Magagnoli Morley and Dana Prescott proves the popular saying “Don’t mix business with pleasure.” wrong. The two lovely ladies have managed to nurture and grow their friendship along with running their business as the owners of Salon Delees. Salon Delees is a full service hair salon located in Webster, New York. The family friendly salon services men, women and children and the team members include eight stylists, two nail technicians, an esthetician and three receptionists. The Webster natives completed their licensing at two different schools. Lisa took part in a cosmetology vocational program where she was able to complete her licensing at the end of her senior year in high school. She then continued her education at Monroe Community College where she earned her degree in Business Management. Dana received her training at Continental School of Beauty. Faith brought the duo together, when they both ended up renting booths at the same salon. When they realized that the faith of the salon was not secure, they decided to go into business for themselves and open up their own salon With a solid business plan in place, the ladies secured a location in Webster and put together an amazing team of professionals. Majority of the team members have been with the salon since the beginning. When asked, how 180

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the two ladies stayed in partnership for so long, the ladies emphasized the following, “Maintaining communication and respecting one another.” The ladies also emphasized the need of having a concrete business plan. They made sure the business plan outlined each others responsibilities and they hold each other accountable to it. Salon Delees team members pride themselves with keeping up with the latest trends and techniques in both hair

care and spa services. Team members complete continuing education classes, training is also conducted in house, and the team members are encouraged to watch videos and tutorials to keep up to date on their skills. Team members have at least nine years of experience and all happily share their knowledge with one another. All members of the team encourage personal growth both in the salon and with outside endeavors. Team members have more of a family

relationship then employees or co-worker type of relationship. So what can customers expect when they arrive in the door? The salon has a touch of an upscale feel. Clients will be greeted and offered a beverage and snack upon arrival. Team members ensure that the salon has a positive feel and want everyone to be relaxed, have the best experience possible while they are getting pampered with services. No service is complete without purchasing products to help you maintain the look. At Salon Delees you can find quality hair care products to keep your hair looking great. Each month they have a new product of the month which is chosen by a team member and offered at a discount. You can also find moroccan oil products, since the salon is a Moroccan Oil Loyalty Salon. If you want a new look, but not quite sure what you want, you can schedule a free consultation. During the consultation, you will meet with a stylist who will help you figure out what look you are trying to achieve along with what your current hair care routine looks like. It is important for the stylist to get a full picture in order to recommend services that won’t interfere or add more work to your daily hair care. The goal is to create a look that will make the client feel great about themselves and able to maintain it.


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High school fr Magagnoli M Dana Presco the popula “Don’t mix bu pleasure.” w two lovely la managed to n grow their fr along with ru business as th Salon D


riends Lisa Morley and ott proves ar saying usiness with wrong. The adies have nurture and riendship unning their he owners of Delees.


Both ladies are passionate about all things hair. It was a challenge for the duo to narrow down one favorite technique, but this is what we ended up with. Lisa’s favorite service is hair coloring. She states “You can be creative and make people feel younger when your covering up the greys.” “It makes people feel good about themselves.” The salon also offer group bookings, so for your bridal parties, prom, or special events, you can schedule multiple services and Dana’s favorite- updo hairstyles. Dana loves the fact that she can be creative. Her love of hair and making people feel good goes back to a family legacy of hairstylists and 184

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salon owners. She is proud to be able to follow in her grandparents footsteps along with working with people in her community. When asked if they had any advice for newly licensed stylists, the ladies offered the following: Be passionate, stay motivated, be patient, building a clientele doesn’t happen overnight, always be available and keep a smile on your face. The ladies are very happy with how far they have come and are extremely grateful for the positive reviews they

have received from their clients.They are excited to see what the future holds. To book your appointments you can contact Salon Delees 585-671-0055, email at lmags.1011@gmail.com or visit the company’s website at https://www. salondeleeswebster.com


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{ GRITFIT LIFE }

JILLIAN HANNOLD: A GRITFIT LIFE BY JILLIAN HANNOLD

Let me start with telling you a little about myself. My name is Jillian Hannold and I am the owner and founder of Grit Fit Life. I have an amazing Husband, Chris and together we have two beautiful baby girls. I have found some serious strength in being their mommy. I’m not talking physical strength but emotional and mental strength. Mom’s… toddlers are no joke. My oldest is three so i’m learning all of this as I go and being a Mom is a journey in itself but I’ve never had a more rewarding job. I’ve heard that giving birth is the hardest thing a woman can go through. But, I beg to differ. My pregnancies were hard. Physically they weren’t bad. It was the emotional and mental side I had a hard time on. I was always the fat girl in the room growing up so seeing myself gain and gain and gain had taken a tole. Then I had my first daughter and she lite up my world. I never knew I could love something so much as I did her. I felt so much guilt holding my daughter and looking at my husband. The body I had was not the one he fell in love with, but this body also produced this amazing little baby. I had gained over 60 pounds with my pregnancy and I was already 30 pounds overweight when I got pregnant. So the stretch marks and the saggy skin and the “mom pooch” was so hard for me to look at. I started going back to crash diets and failed. I would workout 3 times

a day and that didn’t work. I would eat salad after salad and half starve myself, just to yet again, fail at trying to lose weight. So I gave up. I would workout here and there and eat healthy here and there but nothing ever consistent enough to stick. Then I got pregnant again and all those feelings rushed right back. During my second pregnancy, I started doing more and more research on nutrition. Finding out what food does to fuel the body. Then I started doing research on workouts and how food fuels those workouts. Things started to

click. I started working with trainers and getting myself involved with the fitness world by joining in on Facebook groups, etc. After I had my second daughter, I started to put everything I learned to action. I started to see the inches falling off and stopped looking at the scale. I found myself wearing the smallest jeans I had ever worn. I started to realize that I was walking

taller. I wasn’t obsessing in the mirror or the scale. I started wearing clothes that made me feel confident and strong and not clothes that were baggy because they would hide my fat rolls. I started to realize that this life I created made me happy. I learned how to live a life that I could workout, eat healthy and filling meals that fueled my body. But I also enjoyed having pizza night with my family. I still enjoy holiday dinners and hamburgers and beer while camping. I started realizing that I was not the only woman out there that has gone through what I have with the frustration of wanting to be healthy and fit and experiencing fail after fail. That is when I created Grit Fit Life. I worked with professionals in the nutrition and fitness fields to create programs that have workouts designed for busy women a n d m o m s. Registered Dietitians and Nutritionists helped put my meal plans together so they work with the workouts. The meal plans are designed to fuel the body, so no more cutting carbs or counting calories. These programs have workouts for at home and at the gym. They are designed to blast fat and build lean muscle. The meal plans are designed in a way that you can plug and play or follow the meal plan meal for meal. Clients also receive access to a members only portal that


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{ SHIFT+CONTROL } “One thing I have learned in my journey, is that I cannot do it alone.”

will show you all the moves for each workout. Along with the program, you also receive personalized coaching so my clients always have a cheerleader and an accountability partner. One thing I have learned in my journey, is that I cannot do it alone. Clients will be invited into 202

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an exclusive tribe page that has women from all over that are in this journey and excited to lock arms with you and cheer you on and celebrate every milestone big or small. I can teach you what I’ve learned to be able to live a healthy lifestyle and help you find that inner Grit and

give you the tools to live a Grit Fit Life. Visit me at Gritfit.fit


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{ WOMAN { SHIFT+CONTROL WHO INSPIRES } }

TRACY BRUCATO BY AUDREY AVIRETT

Beauty and Brains of Reclaimed DIY Studio If you read our special Webster Edition of Rochester Woman Online, then you may already be familiar with Tracy Brucato and her DIY Studio. However, if you didn’t have the pleasure of reading about Tracy and her studio in our Webster Edition last month, then you’re truly in for a treat this month! (Maybe you did get to read about her and her studio, but you don’t feel you truly got to KNOW her, well, here is your chance to get to know the beauty and brains behind Reclaimed DIY Studio – located in Webster.) Tracy is a super mom (of 2 girls and her stepson) who happens to also be the owner of the newly opened business, Reclaimed DIY Studio. The DIY Studio is just that… A space for you to do “Do-ItYourself projects” in a studio located at 21B E Main Street, nestled in the Village of Webster. But what was the inspiration behind a DIY Studio? Where did it all start for this girl who was born and raised in the Penfield area? “As a kid growing up, I actually liked school…reading, writing, and projects that were assigned. I never really considered myself extremely crafty, but instead saw myself as creative. The first DIY-type projects I began were when my kids (2 girls, 13 months apart) were born in the early 2000’s. I was a housewife with a NEED to decorate and redecorate rooms in my home. I also needed something to keep them occupied while saving my sanity – all on a lower budget. The first wooden pallet sign I created was with my husband, and the brawn behind Reclaimed DIY Studio, David. It’s a black and white flag that sits in my shop window... 206

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It was literally something unplanned and made in our home workshop. That project got the wheels turning. My kids are in school all week, and we thought, ‘LET’S DO THIS!’” The original concept of Reclaimed DIY Studio was to make handmade wooden signs and other DIY pieces to then sell online and in a local storefront, but of course this family-oriented super mom envisioned much more than that. Knowing you can go into a store that sells houseware, and purchase one of these was not what she

you don’t leave with much except a full stomach or even the lovely gift you can wake up with the next morning – a hangover. At Reclaimed DIY Studio, you can bring your own appetizers and beverages, and leave with something in hand that YOU created and enjoyed creating. Advice directly from Tracy to those of you who are afraid to try: “So often I hear people say, ‘I don’t think I can do that. I’m not creative.’ There’s no such thing as someone who is not creative! There is not one person who isn’t creative or who can’t be creative…It’s all a mindset. If you think along those lines, you aren’t allowing yourself to be. Honestly, the biggest piece of advice I can give is to get over the fear of failure. Not everything you do in life is going to result in a huge success…but you have to accept that. You won’t know whether or not it can be successful if you don’t try.” Want to know more about what you will experience at Reclaimed DIY Studio? Visit: www.reclaimedstudiodiy.com and book a class, date night, birthday party, church outing, or even your next business holiday party!

had in mind. She wanted a product and a concept combined. “I wanted to combine a quality product that could be personalized by our customers to reflect their last names, children’s names, favorite quotes, etc. with the ability to use colors and style that match their décor. Paired with that, I wanted the social aspect: For men and women to be able to spend a few hours away from their homes while doing something fun, productive and different.” So often, things can get very mundane; movies, dinner, drinks - repeat. Yes, they are all enjoyable but often times

Keep in mind: Consultation is ALWAYS free! The inspirations and idols in Tracy’s life (and ultimately her studio) are her parents. “My Mom and Dad were married over 40 years just prior to losing my Dad. You don’t see that quite as much now-a-days. My father began his business, Rochester Driveways, with nothing except determination and ambition. He was always a hard-worker. He stayed active, and didn’t slow down – until he was diagnosed with cancer and had no choice. My Mom is the most selfless and


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{ WOMAN { SHIFT+CONTROL WHO INSPIRES } } Tracy is a super mom (of 2 girls and her stepson) who happens to also be the owner of the newly opened business, Reclaimed DIY Studio.

ultimately her studio) are her parents. “My Mom and Dad were married over 40 years just prior to losing my Dad. You don’t see that quite as much now-a-days. My father began his business, Rochester Driveways, with nothing except determination and ambition. He was always a hard-worker. He stayed active, and didn’t slow down – until he was diagnosed with cancer and had no choice. My Mom is the most selfless and caring person you could ever meet. She is another strong, influential person in my life, who has always put the needs of others before her own.” Naturally, Tracy has the ambition and determination of her father and the heart of her mother to even create and imagine the concept behind Reclaimed DIY Studio. She has overcome some major obstacles of her own – in both her personal and professional life. “From being diagnosed with Cervical Cancer in 2008, to losing my brother, father, and husband (at the time) in 3 consecutive years, all in the month of June…there’s not much after going through that, especially with my children, that can shake me anymore.” Her greatest achievements, are her two daughters, ages 11 and 10. “In their short lives, they have had to deal with a lot of loss. The strength they have amazes me. My greatest achievement was showing them that regardless of what happens in life, it goes on...and so do you. As much as you may like to close yourself off to the world around you at times, you can’t. You take the good with the bad, and you learn from it. I am beyond proud of them.” Family is obviously something Tracy holds near and dear to her heart, and THAT is the heart and soul of the studio as a whole. She is hoping for continual growth and eventual expansion. And what is the 208

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best way to expand? By Community connection/outreach... Tracy has a lot to offer the community both professionally and personally. Professionally, Reclaimed DIY Studio offers our Community a new and unique way to gather with friends and family. Time spent with friends and family is undoubtedly the value Tracy holds in the highest regard. “Ultimately, you are allowing time to spend with them, socialize, laugh, and make memories while creating your own Do-It-

Yourself wooden sign, home décor piece, or other personalized project(s).” Reclaimed DIY Studio also benefits our Community by bringing businesses and their partners/ employees together to develop/improve teamwork with each other and establish/ improve solid working relationships. Personally, she is a strong supporter of local businesses and small business owners. Reclaimed DIY Studio works closely with other businesses in our area to promote growth for all involved parties. For example, there might be certain events that you may have coming up where you’d like to utilize

both your services and the studio’s services, and (with the right mindset and attitude) Tracy may consider a partnership if she finds the connection to be mutually beneficial. In many cases, Tracy will consider your partnership and offer a more than generous special (discount) to you and your team for her additional services. Much of Tracy’s support and appreciation for small business owners can be attributed to the fact her family has been self-employed for many years. “Growing up, my father was self-employed, as were my brothers - who worked their way into it. I have seen that company, Rochester Driveways, grow into what it is today. I respect the hard work and dedication it takes to own and operate your own company. You technically never leave your ‘office’ as there is always something to be done, be it administratively or physically.” Speaking of never leaving the office……….the EXCITING news I have for you is that TRACY IS JOINING OUR TEAM OF CONTRIBUTING WRITERS! Rochester Woman Online and Reclaimed DIY Studio have joined forces! “It’s an honor to announce that I will be writing a monthly column for the publication on various DIY projects. This is truly an honor, as I am able to utilize two of my passions, writing and showing others that they have the ability to DIY!” Website: www.reclaimedstudiodiy.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/reclaimedstudiowebster Instagram: www.instagram.com/reclaimed_ diy_studio Phone Number: (585) 236-0497 E-mail: information@reclaimedstudiodiy.com Address: 21B East Main Street, Webster, NY 14580


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“WHEN DOES MY MAKEUP EXPIRE?� BY AUDREY AVIRETT I PHOTOS BY ABBY SICK

The common question asked by makeup wearers everywhere is, â&#x20AC;&#x153;When does my makeup expire?â&#x20AC;? Well, I am more than happy to answer this question for you because this is arguably one of the most important questions in which I believe everyone who owns and wears makeup should know the answer. All that I ask is that you approach this article with the understanding that you may be throwing away all or most of your makeup bag... (Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sorry, but Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m helping you out of love. <3) It is imperative to note that the shelflife of your makeup all depends on when the product is first opened, the type of packaging, and how it is storedâ&#x20AC;Ś I will mention ways in which to preserve, sanitize, and store your makeup to prolong shelf-life; however, I will not be sharing any magic tricks to help you keep products beyond their recommended trash days. (RIP makeup children, you have been good to us all these yearsâ&#x20AC;Ś) Most products have a Period After Opening (PAO) symbol: This symbol acts as a guideline for when you should throw out a product after opening it. You will notice a number and a letter next to the number â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the letters used are either â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mâ&#x20AC;? (months) or â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yâ&#x20AC;? (years). Note: The PAO isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t placed there as a sales tactic to keep you buying more products â&#x20AC;&#x201C; it is placed there with YOU and YOUR safety in mind. Using a product past the PAO isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t safe or wiseâ&#x20AC;Ś By not following the PAO, you could cause skin irritation, give yourself Conjunctivitis â&#x20AC;&#x153;Pink Eyeâ&#x20AC;?, develop sores on/around your mouth, or worse â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 210

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cause permanent problems like blindness, chemical burning of your face, and other atrocities we shall not name because you get the picture and WILL LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY NEXTâ&#x20AC;Ś đ&#x;&#x2DC;&#x2030;

heat or extreme cold whenever possible.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;AUDREY, I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t see a PAO on my products, what do I do?!?!â&#x20AC;? It is important to keep in mind not all products have a PAO. (I know, super helpful, right?) This doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mean you keep the product until it runs out. (Duh!) This means you follow these basic rules: Liquid products should be thrown out within 6 months, loose

a. OR just use a brush or other type of CLEAN applicator instead of dipping your hands into your products.

2) Wash your hands before touching anything, especially before dipping your fingers into any products.

3) Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t leave products uncovered or without lids for extended periods of time. (Whenever youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re using the product is the ONLY time it should be open.) 4) Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t pump your wandsâ&#x20AC;ŚYouâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re letting air and bacteria into your tubes. (Dipping your Mascara and Lip Gloss Applicators repeatedly in and out of the tubes in hopes of finding more product doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t work anyways.) a. Swirling in circles inside of the tubes is the best method to get more product onto your wands.

powders should be thrown out within 1 year, pressed powders should be thrown out within 2 years, anything with a different smell/color/consistency than when it was opened should be tossed IMMEDIATELY, anything with odd wax-like buildup or is dried out should meet the trash, and anything in warped packaging needs to go too. More will be explained in depth below, but we should go over proper handling, care, and storage first. Some helpful tips to help prolong shelf-life: 1) Store in a dark place (out of direct sunlight) at room temperature and avoid extreme

5) Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t share with other people. (ESPECIALLY donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t share with sick people! Once your product is used by someone who is sick, it has to be trashed IMMEDIATELY â&#x20AC;&#x201C; yes, even yourself. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t use Eye Liner on your Pink Eye and put it back on your own eye thinking all is well! YUCK!) 6) Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t add Water, Eye Drops, etc. to your products in hopes of having â&#x20AC;&#x153;moreâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201C; youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re ruining the quality and opening up possibilities for bacteria to thrive. 7) Sanitize your products! a. Wash your brushes regularly â&#x20AC;&#x201C; at least


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{ AUD MAKEUP TALK} It is imperative to note that the shelf-life of your makeup all depends on when the product is first opened, the type of packaging, and how it is stored…

i. Preferably once every week

packaging whenever it is available.

b. Spritz Isopropyl Alcohol on your Pressed Powders.

This list is only to be used whenever you can’t find a POA on the product in question:

i. Alcohol can be no stronger than 70% because it will dry too fast and not properly sanitize

Micellar Water – 6M Cleanser/Moisturizer – 1Y Toner – 6M-1Y Concealer – 1Y-18M Liquid Foundation – 1Y Cream Blush – 1Y-18M

c. Sharpen your Pencils regularly. d. Use Makeup Remover Wipes on your Lipsticks to remove the top layer of bacteria.

8) Pay attention to the ingredients of your products:

b. “Natural Products” made without preservatives are just that…made without preservatives – meaning the shelf-life is less than the competing products made with preservatives. i. Not a bad thing, just something to notate. Now that we have all of THAT covered, I will share a list of regularly used products and my recommended POA based on personal research on various products, their ingredients, and the reactions these ingredients may have with the environment once opened. Keep in mind you MUST follow the POA on the products’ original 212

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You can find my contact information below. Let me know what you think about this segment. Was it helpful? Did you have to throw a lot away? Are you going to share with your friends and family? I look forward to hearing from you… And, as always, remember: Be lovely. BeYOUtiful. Be inspired. <3 We b s i t e : h t t p s : / / audmakeupartistry.com/ Fa c e b o o k : h t t p s : / / www.facebook.com/ AudMakeupArtistry Instagram: https:// www.instagram.com/ audmakeupartistry/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/ MakeupByAud Phone: (585) 210-3303 E-mail: makeupbyaud@ gmail.com

i. OR just use a brush or other type of CLEAN applicator when applying.

a. Most water-based products will need to be replaced within 6 months because water-based products that are often exposed to the air are being exposed to bacteria and bacteria can thrive in these types of places.

might have for me… Let me know what question(s) you would like answered next time. Or just reach out to say hello!

Pressed Powder Foundation/Blush – 2Y Loose/Setting Powder/Blush – 1Y Brow Pencil – 2Y Cream Eyeshadow – 1Y-18M Pressed Powder Eyeshadow – 2Y Loose Powder Eyeshadow – 1Y Mascara – 6M Liquid Eyeliner – 6M Gel Eyeliner – 1Y-18M Pencil Eyeliner – 1Y Lipliner – 1Y-18M Lipstick – 1Y-2Y Lip Gloss – 1Y Lip balm – 1Y-18M Did I forget something? Feel free to reach out and ask any follow-up questions you

* S P E C I A L SHOUTOUT* I’d like to take a moment to thank my girl, Abby Sick (A Sick Photo), for snapping some candid shots of me calming some horses for a Photo Shoot I did makeup for recently. I always enjoy BTS (behindthe-scenes) shots because I love being captured in my element. Being a makeup artist who primarily works on site, I try to be as helpful as possible in as many ways as possible. Sometimes it means holding a light for the photographer(s) to capture the best shots, sometimes it means fixing clothing, and sometimes it can even mean calming horses. Either way, I am so very happy Abby was able to capture these BTS shots so effortlessly.


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{ QUEEN OF ARTS }

BRIDGETTE YAXLEY BRIDGETTE YAXLEY, WINS BEST ORIGINAL S C R E E N P L AY AT BURBANK INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL Winning Best Original Screenplay at the Burbank International Film Festival has been a life-changing experience for me, as a female screenwriter whose goal is to create strong female characters in empowering roles. The award-winning screenplay I wrote is called “Perjury,” and is set in the Rochester and Niagara County areas and focuses on a rising female attorney who is tormented by the hypocrisy of her past as she struggles to uphold the very laws she has sworn to defend. She wonders if it’s too late to make amends with her past, or even possible at this point. My desire, at this point, is to have my screenplay optioned and then produced, hopefully, in the actual setting – Rochester, NY. I believe that Rochester, and Western New York, for that matter, have great potential to serve as feature length film settings for both main stream cinema and Netflix. 222

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I first became interested in in film as a student at SUNY College at Brockport, when pursuing both my BS and MS degrees. Being an English major, and then completing a degree in Education in English, I chose film courses that the English Department offered when I was required to select electives. Some of those classes included the History of Motion Pictures, Science Fiction Film, and one of my favorites was Film

Noir. I really enjoyed learning about how “Hollywoodland” originated with these innovative ideas and groups of creative people that started something on the cutting edge, or studying how each of the various studios originated, learning what boundaries both men and women were given in the earliest days of film while shooting, and even how some screenplays were modified when considering audience awareness or the

current political climate of a specific time period a film was being produced. These film courses were quite inspirational to me, as a life-long writer, and avid fan of film history. Over the years, I have written several short stories that have been published in various magazines, each featuring strong female characters experiencing some sort of rite of passage. Each story containing a moral or a lesson that a wide-scale audience could relate to. However, I had yet to attempt screenwriting, although I was storing ideas to begin. Then, a couple of years ago, I began to watch some inspiring movements by leaders in the film industry, like Meryl Streep and Nicole Kidman who organize and fund The Writers Lab, through The New York Women in Film & Television. This is an annual writers workshop for female screenwriters to receive support while working on feature film scripts from industry professionals. As one of the opportunities for female screenwriters to have our work evaluated and critiqued, I now felt encouraged and like the time was finally right to give screenwriting a try! In 2017, I began my journey as a screenwriter for the first time. Being that I’m an educator, I have time in


{ QUEEN { HER OF EDGE ARTS } }

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{ QUEEN OF ARTS } “Winning Best Original Screenplay at the Burbank International Film Festival has been a life-changing experience for me, as a female screenwriter whose goal is to create strong female characters in empowering roles.”

the summer to devote to the writing process when I’m not in the classroom. Therefore, I devoted six weeks to writing my first feature-length script. Devoting myself to the project each day for a focused four to five hours, I was able to complete a draft in that time before walking away for a while. It’s advice I give everyone after writing so intensely. I took a month off after finishing my screenplay, and returned to read it out loud and revise. Finally, I sent it to the BlueCat Screenplay Competition, facilitated by Rochester native Gordy Hoffman, who has written award-winning screenplays, such as Love Liza (2002). The feedback I obtained from the team at BlueCat was muchappreciated, which I then used to carefully revise during the winter of 20172018. This is an excellent venue for any screenwriter breaking into the industry because they provide detailed and useful feedback, as I learned. Being that this was my first original feature-length screenplay, I took their advice to heart. Once revision was complete, I felt confident enough to submit it to major film festivals on a national and global scale last winter. Then I just waited. 224

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Several months passed until mid-August 2018 when one afternoon I opened my email and suddenly I noticed I had received an email from the President of the Burbank International Film Festival congratulating me on being nominated for Best Original Screenplay! My first reaction? I couldn’t believe my eyes! My heart began to pound out of my chest! I think I was so excited that I closed my laptop and tried to think of just who

I was going to share the amazing news with first. This meant I was going to Hollywood because they approve of my work! Shortly after, I shared this with my family, friends, students, and neighbors before planning this amazing life-changing trip. I excitedly flew to Burbank twice, once for the launch party to kick off the film festival where I met many talented people who had been nominated, and

the president of the festival. I then flew out for the awards gala. At the awards gala there were about 1,000 people attending, a red-carpet media event, and celebrities from television and film that I was honored to meet. After several categories were called and awards were given out, Best OriginalScreenplay was called, and the nominations were read. I learned that twenty people had been nominated in my category alone (four women and twenty men), but when they called my name as the winner, I could hardly breathe as I made it to the stage to accept my award, but also give an acceptance speech as a female screenwriter in a room of many talented people right there in Hollywood. Since then, my award-winning screenplay “Perjury” has been nominated in the same category at the Orlando Film Festival, is now under consideration at the Cannes Film Festival as well. I am also writing the novel and hope to have that available next year. For more information about my awardwinning screenplay, please check out: www. perjury-themovie.com


Bushnell's Basin 672 Kreag Road Pittsford, NY 14534 585-385-9149 kitchenthymedesignstudio.com


{ CENTERSTAGE }

TYKES (THEATRE YOUNG KIDS ENJOY) BY RALPH MERATO

In 2002, coworker-friends Gina Donahue and Freyda Schneider had a vision for a new kind of children’s theatre, and TYKEs (Theatre Young Kids Enjoy) was born. “I think of TYKEs as my third child,” beams Freyda, TYKEs’ director. To launch the nonprofit, Freyda went to Manhattan to sell her great-grandmother’s diamond ring to come up with enough money to buy the lumber for their first show. “The ring turned out to be not nearly as spectacularly valuable as I had dreamed, and Rapunzel’s tower was, as a result, a little… well, creaky.” Now – 14 successful seasons later – TYKEs consistently ranks as the #1 Children’s Theatre Company in Rochester by KidsOutandAbout. com, and one of the top ten places in all of Rochester to bring kids – for the eighth consecutive year. TYKEs also received the Family Favorite award for Best Children’s Theatre Performances by Rochester & Genesee Valley Parent Magazine (now ROC Parent). “Thanks to some very talented and creative actors and production folks, the shows – and the set pieces – just keep getting better and better year after year,” explains Freyda. “The atmosphere at TYKEs is warm and welcoming and at the same time dazzling – allowing children to see books spring to life on stage right in front of their eyes. It’s theater magic in a comfortable, childfriendly space.” TYKEs’ shows feature adult 226

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professional actors performing for children, families and school groups at the state-ofthe-art Hart Theater, located at the JCC, 1200 Edgewood Avenue in Brighton. TYKEs opens its new 15th season with the musical Diary of a Worm, a Spider and a Fly, based on the clever, colorful book series by Doreen Cronin and illustrator Harry Bliss. The show runs for two weekends from November 10 to 18. The show features a

entire nation to produce the new musical, It’s a Bird… It’s a Plane… It’s Superman, a remake of the iconic 1966 musical of the same name. Superman runs March 9 to 17, and will include several 7 p.m. performances for the first time in TYKEs’ history. The season culminates with The Pied Piper April 1 to 6, a unique program in partnership with Missoula Children’s Theatre featuring 60 local children who rehearse for just one week and perform a complete show that weekend. “What I love about TYKEs is that every show is a brand new, unique experience,” explains Freyda. “In our 15-year history of professional performances, we’ve never repeated a title. Our shows are fresh and new and exciting every time.” She goes on to explain that many of TYKEs’ productions have never been on stage anywhere else in this area before. “We pride ourselves on being on the cutting edge of children’s theatre offerings.”

unique score, with musical styles ranging from rap and hip-hop to ballads and boogiewoogie. Cronin is the New York Times bestselling author of Click, Clack, Moo: Cows That Type, a Caldecott Honor Book; and Giggle, Giggle, Quack. Continuing TYKEs’ season is Corduroy running January 12 to 20, based on Don Freeman’s world-famous books about a child’s yearning for the green-overall-clad stuffed bear she finds at a department store. TYKEs is only the second theater in the

New for this season, TYKEs’ patrons can select their own seats when they order on-line 24-hours a day. For a complete listing of show dates and times, visit TykesTheatre.org or call the JCC at 585-461-2000. In addition to on-stage productions, TYKEs also offers after-school theater classes, theater camps during school breaks, and TYKEs’ KidStage at Camp Sisol – a full summer of theater camp outdoors at Markus Park.


2018-19 Season The greatest books in the universe come alive at TYKEs! Rochester’s #1 Professional Children’s Theatre

Jan. Nov. 12-20 10-18

Mar. 9-17

Apr. 1-6

TICKETS AT TYKESTHEATRE.ORG OR CALL (585) 461-2000


COME VISIT US AT PASTIQUE

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3123 Main Street I Caledonia, New York 14423 (585) 294-3013 I pastiquecaledonia.com

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{ DECORATING WITH PASTIQUE }

DECORATING WITH PASTIQUE - OCT. - NOV. 2018 BY HEATHER HUNT

Thank you for coming back and reading my column! I hope you have all been enjoying the sights, smells, and activities of Fall. But beware…Fall will hypnotize you with a Kaleidoscope of color while his buddy Winter lays in wait to cruelly snap you awake from your trance. These two love to have a good laugh at your expense as you’re putting away your Thanksgiving dishes and suddenly realize the charm of your Fall décor has an expiration date of five minutes ago and your Christmas decorations are still in the freezing cold attic. Unlike any other holiday, Christmas requires a well thought out plan.

empty your arsenal of grandma’s bulbs and singing Santa’s. • Nostalgic items - So many of us have family decorations that have been passed down for generations and I always encourage people to embrace those things that have meaning regardless of aesthetics. But if you have a bunch of those items that are shall we say “aesthetically suboptimal” consider either spreading them out strategically so they don’t clash with your home décor or limit them all to a single room. And by all means if you run across items that are old

I’m a list person, so I like making a list for everything – gift ideas, menu items, decorating, who I’m sending cards to, etc. Its hard to stay on top of everything during this busy time of year, but whatever you do whether it’s a small table top tree, a wreath on your front door, or a full Christmas makeover, keep smiling and don’t let it stress you out. Did you know that more than 70% of people feel more stressed during the holidays? The more pre-planning you do the less stress you’ll have.

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o Hang a small Christmas ornament from a lamp shade o Place a few pine cones around an existing candle or picture frame o Don’t want to deal with a tree? Grab a branch from the yard, spray paint it white, and hang your ornaments or Christmas cards from it o Replace your regular soaps with decorative Christmas themed soaps that are pine or candy cane scented

Christmas is the one holiday where you can really get away with going all out. From blinking lights to life sized mangers some people really embrace the grandiosity of the season. For those of us who elect to decorate a bit more subtly here are some tips:

and worn and have no sentimental value throw them away. Despite what that little voice in your head may be telling you, that old piece of silver garland does not have feelings – toss it.

•White lights vs. Colored lights – Christmas décor all starts with your lights. Using only white lights on the tree and your home can be very clean and classy. But if you really want to pull off a super clean look your tree should not have a hodgepodge of bulbs and your Christmas décor should be a bit more understated. On the other hand, if you prefer colored lights then feel free to

• Quick hit tips - Some of us love spending hours and days transitioning our homes for the holidays. And others of us would like to pop a little Christmas cheer into our space and move on. For those in the latter category I have 3 words for you… wreaths, pillows, signs. These 3 things hit the primary decorating spaces of your living space. A nice wreath welcomes guests at

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the front door, a couple of cute Christmas signs that can replace existing wall hangings welcomes them into your home, and some throw pillows adds some cheer to the sitting areas. Just remember if your couch, door and walls are neutral add colorful pieces. If they are bright or busy add less colorful pieces. Here are some additional quick hit ideas:

• Gifts ideas – So as you’re thinking of what to get your friends and family for Christmas remember that they like to decorate too. Pillows, picture frames, soaps, signs, and other home décor items beat a pair of socks every time. And it just so happens that you can pick all of that stuff up at Pastique in Caledonia. My last piece of advice is get those outdoor lights up now so you can flip the switch on Thanksgiving. No one likes putting up lights on a cold December day. Lastly, if you come and see us at Pastique, please mention this article. I’d like to meet my readers. Thank you! Check out Pastique @ 3123 Main Street Caledonia, NY 14423 ~ Friday, Saturday, & Sunday 10 – 4  www.pastiquecaledonia.com  www.facebook.com/pastique


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{ LAW & HIPHOP }

CURRENT EVENTS BY CHERYL L. KATES-BENMAN, ESQ. I PHOTO BY ARTISTIC PHOTOGRAPHY

CURRENT EVENTS IN THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM, POLITICS AND THANGS It’s that time of year again, the election season and this year is no different than years past. Let the mudslinging begin. Governor Cuomo has faced many obstacles during his term including making huge decisions about NYS’ criminal justice reforms. These decisions have left him in a controversial position with this upcoming election as he made some decisions which were needed but which were heavily criticized by some very powerful lobbying forces including prosecutors and law enforcement. These issues were issues dating back many years, some into the Pataki “Get Tough on Crime” era but change was necessary, and he did the honorable thing. Some of those choices led to opposing sides creating political videos airing on social media and elsewhere which distort some of the facts involved which could come into play in November to shake things up a bit. In September the backlash did nothing as Cuomo clearly won the primary hands down. The sweeping reform included his remaining neutral when Parole Boards in NY released convicted cop killers and others who were incarcerated decades, well beyond their minimum period of incarceration and who met the criteria for release. This is how the government is supposed to function, the Parole Board is an independent decisionmaking body which should not be influenced by elected officials when they make decisions which actually follow the Executive Law. So the intervening factor is , when cleaning up Albany, “ the good ol’boys fight back”, 236

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because those “people” should never be let out of prison even though the law indicates they met the legal criteria. Justice does not intend for popular opinion to outweigh the law. Cuomo did what he should, remain neutral and did not try to unduly influence parole board commissioners. Another issue involves restoring rehabilitative programs including college education and

use of tablets in prisons. Popular opinion objects prisoners should not get tablets or free education when tax-paying citizens struggle to pay their college loan debt and to send their children to college. On the flip side, college education was also changed allowing for students to attend some community colleges without such the expense. Again, the issue is distorted as to how the tablets are being funded and the issue of people in prison do return to the communities. It is a matter of public safety to ensure they are given some skills and programming to allow them to re-enter

society as productive, law-abiding citizens. The right to vote became another issue as Cuomo restored the rights to close to 35,000 NYS individuals who are on parole by conditional pardon with certain stipulations. Felons with the right to vote! Oh my! He faces Cynthia Nixon in the primary and positions were advanced he did this to aid his plight for re-election. Opponent Nixon recently tweeted: “We don’t buy the Governor’s new song and dance routine. Voter suppression in NYS should have ended eight years ago, from the rights of parolees to access to early voting and automatic registration” (1) NBC News (Timm, J.,) reports felony disenfranchisement of voting effects 6.1 million people nationwide with a disparate impact on minorities” (2). How will this affect the 2018 election? We shall see? There was no effect on the primary. In August, Cuomo also signed gamechanging legislation for prosecutors, acknowledging the need for oversight establishing the first of its kind in the nation a Prosecutorial Misconduct Commission. Opposition argues the prosecutors are already overseen by the Grievance Committee in the Appellate Divisions governing attorneys. Criminal Justice advocates indicate that wasn’t enough oversight citing the enormous numbers of wrongful conviction. The Clemency process was also expanded, and a new website was established. Sweeping changes were made in the state regarding juveniles, in tune with national recognition they lack the same culpability as adults. Reform was established. Cuomo also has stepped up and is very vocal against President elect Trump’s immigration policies and the treatment of children. What will be interesting to see is: “Was doing the right thing political suicide”?


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{ CONFIDENT IN YOUR OWN SKIN }

WHAT IF I FAIL? BY MEG BURTON TUDMAN

From a sound sleep you hear a jarring Beep! Beep! Beep! and immediately hit snooze. This cycle goes on a few more times and before you’re fully awake you’re already stressed because you’re still tired and now you’re late. Just imagining that kicks my nervous system into overdrive! How we spend the beginning of our morning sets the tone for our entire day. The good news is, even a few mindful minutes in the morning makes a positive impact on your day. The small actions you do regularly, and with intention, add up to big results in the life you create.

My first thought upon waking used to me “I’m so tired” which resulted in a mindset focused on scarcity, rather than abundance. After testing new intentions that embraced tuning inward and thinking positively, I realized that I had the power to create an experience each morning that set me up for internal and external success. My morning

• BREATHE DEEPLY: Take a few deep, cleansing breaths even before you get out of bed to help clear your mind and reconnect to your body and the present moment. If your mind is busy, count each breath up to ten and then repeat. If you get to twenty-five, you know your mind wandered, so just begin again at one. I find this practice alone helps me to calm my stress response and refocus on what matters.

I invite you to consider what a typical morning looks and feels like for you. Take a moment to write down your daily morning routine and also how you feel before, during and after those activities. Try to suspend any judgment and use this is as an opportunity to identify what’s working well and what isn’t working so well. Once you have your list of actions and feelings, congratulate yourself for your rituals that are serving you in a positive way. There’s no need to tear yourself down for what’s not working. An important step in transformation is acknowledging what you want to change. Before you start practicing new intentions in the morning, give thought to why a different morning experience matters to you. Allow your why to be specific and important to you and connect it to an emotion so that it’s a powerful motivator. 238

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• MINDFULLY SHOWER: As you shower, be conscious of your senses and notice experiences like the feel of the water on your skin, the smell of your soap, the sound of your breath, the sight of the water as it beads on your skin. Part of this ritual is to practice dropping any narratives or stories you create about your life. If your mind wanders, be kind to yourself and without judgment pull your attention back to what you’re experiencing at that exact moment.

rituals look different each day depending on what I need and the time I’ve made to honor them. The following list includes some of my and my clients’ favorites. I encourage you to test new intentions for your morning and notice how your life shifts for you.

• MEDITATE: Meditation is another excellent way to connect and relax your mind and body. I find guided meditations especially helpful if my attention is unfocused. If you’re new to a meditation practice, start with a couple of minutes and work your way up to longer sessions. Two of my favorite meditation apps are Headspace and Insight Timer and you can join me on YouTube for more guided meditations at https://bit. ly/2Ce06Pm. • PRACTICE YOGA: My body craves gentle stretches and restorative poses early in the morning. You may find that a more vigorous practice serves you. Tune in and honor what your body needs. Some yoga


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{ CONFIDENT { SHIFT+CONTROL IN YOUR OWN } SKIN } I invite you to consider what a typical morning looks and feels like for you. Take a moment to write down your daily morning routine and also how you feel before, during and after those activities.

poses can be done right in your bed or you may keep your mat unrolled next to your bed as a reminder and so you’re not distracted to do something else upon waking. • DRINK MINDFULLY: Whether you start your day with water and lemon or coffee or tea, make your drink and enjoy it mindfully by tuning into your senses (just like in your mindful shower.) Framing this daily action as a ritual helps to make it sacred and enables you to pause from any perceived stress, rather than just go through the motions. • READ SOMETHING INSPIRING: Start a gratitude practice and write down what you’re grateful for each day, reread this the next morning to remind yourself of all that you are and have. You might also make a list of intentions or new beliefs and read those for a few minutes. Again, the purpose 240

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is to remind yourself of the thoughts you want to engage with and to strengthen the beliefs that serve you well. • LIMIT SCREEN TIME: Give yourself time to fully awaken and prepare for your day before checking email, scrolling through social media or watching TV. If you live with others, allow connecting face to face to be a higher priority than checking your screens. Empower yourself to set your own agenda, rather than letting someone else hijack your morning. • PREP THE NIGHT BEFORE: Do as much as you can to prepare for your morning the evening before. Everything from packing lunches to having bags ready to laying out clothes helps the morning to go more smoothly and gives you time to focus on rituals that set you up for success.

Continue to maintain those mindful rituals that already serve you well and at the same time add new rituals that help to crowd out the old routines and feelings that no longer serve you. This is a practice, not a perfect, so give yourself time and space to experiment with new intentions and see what works for you. Your self-care and mindful practices may look different each day, as you tune in and honor what you need in a particular moment. With practice, you’ll find you have a toolbox full of mindful actions to select from and you’ll be able to empower yourself to engage with what works best. --

Meg Burton Tudman helps successful women who feel stressed and exhausted (yet are still striving for more!) master their mindset for a complete inner and outer transformation, that empowers them to live authentically and actually enjoy the life they’ve created for themselves. Click here for your free Reset Your Mindset Toolkit with 7 quick reset strategies, plus a weekly checklist. https:// www.megburtontudman.com/reset-your-mindset


WOMEN WHOINSPIRES INSPIRE { RECLAIMED DIY } } } { { WOMAN WHO

MEET LINDA HARRIS BY TRACY BRUCATO

Linda Harris likes to think of herself as a jack of all trades. She is a wife, mother of seven, U.S. Army veteran, a professional brand ambassador, promotional model, as well as an aspiring actress. Within the past year, she decided to pursue her dreams of breaking into the modeling industry and creating a life that she desires on her own terms. Linda, the oldest of three children to Wilfred and Sharon Pintos, was born and raised in the Bronx, NY and then relocated to Staten Island, NY at the start of her high school years. She spent most of her elementary and middle school years attending private schools. At a very young age Linda had an interest in modeling, acting and creative arts. Growing up, she participated in a couple of shows in churches and school. However, she did not complete any formal training, as an education was more important than pursuing talents. As she moved on to high school, her interests shift gears and she ended up joining the Junior Reserves Officer Training Corps (J.R.O.T.C.) at Port Richmond High School. She made the decision to join the military after she graduated. Plans took a change, when the summer before her senior year of high school she became pregnant with her oldest daughter Brittany. Determined, not to be a “statistic” associated with teenage pregnancy, Linda completed her senior year and 242

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walked down the stage for graduation a couple of weeks after giving birth. “I think my first pregnancy and all the negative reactions associated with it, was the first experience that displayed my will to prove people wrong and do the unexpected.” Fast forward a couple of years and three children later, Linda went through a rough patch, a messy breakup,

and an unstable housing situation. With the support of family and friends, she decided the best thing to do for herself and children was to join the military. “I honestly felt like that was the best decision for me at the time. I was young, with three pairs of eyes looking at me. I wanted to be a young adult and do what young adults do, but when you have children you can’t. I needed to be

able to independently provide for my children. I guess i set out to prove another point, that I was independent, strong enough both mentally and physically to complete basic training and that i could still achieve my goals, even if it couldn’t be achieved in the timeframe I originally planned.” She spent ten years serving in the U.S. Army as a 68W Healthcare Specialist (Medic). During her time in the military she met her husband Tommy, got married and had more children. Her family traveled with her to all her duty stations, which was North Carolina, Germany, Pennsylvania and Texas. “I love to travel. I am very appreciative that I was able to take my children to different places and experience things I was not able to as a child. As much as i loved the whole process of relocating every couple of years, i think my older children got to an age where they were tired of trying to restart friendships, homes, schools etc.” After she got out the military she relocated to Western New York where she worked at the Canandaigua VA Medical Center. Within the past year Linda started evaluating her career goals and overall purpose. “When i started working at the VA, I felt like the scale or promotion ladder was somewhat similar to the military, where most people are trying to move up to the top of the ladder. I moved up the pay scale rather quickly


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THE PAINTER BY AUDREY AVIRETT

If you are a dancer in the Rochester area, maybe you are familiar with Dancewear Express located on Buffalo Road. And if you are in the dancing world and unfamiliar with it, then you are in for a fabulous awakening! Dancewear Express is stocked full of dance shoes, clothing, and accessories for all types of dance and dance productions including but not limited to: dance studios, schools, church events, musicals, and professional dance companies. The store has been serving the public since 1998, and it was recently purchased by a long-time customer and supporter – Lisa Nuccitelli. Lisa has been dancing since the age of three, and has always had a burning desire to own a dance store of her own someday. “I have been a customer of Dancewear Express long before I even thought to buy the business, and I always wanted to own a dance store.” Passion is not only a preference when it comes to owning a business; it is required… And Lisa is most certainly not lacking in her passion for dance. Her outlook on life and her business mindset is so lovely and inspirational. And, you know how we here at Rochester Woman Online feel about passionate business owners, so we had to pay her a visit and get the scoop. 246

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I PHOTOS BY MARISA NICODEMUS

Lisa was born and raised in Greece, NY, and is currently residing in Webster with her husband, Jay, and their two children – Julia (age 19) and Adam (age 17). Like her mother, Julia naturally began her dancing career when she was 3-years-old. Lisa happily supports her daughter’s dancing journey, and is proud that she never really had to “hang up her shoes” because she knew she could pass them down to someone who is equally

passionate about dance. Lisa’s entire family takes pride in their support of one another and their individual dreams. So, of course, Lisa’s desire to own a dance store is a dream that her family is honored to share and support with her. “Our business is a family business, and the atmosphere in our store reflects that. Our customers are families who love dance, and we are a business run by a family that also loves dance.”

Lisa saw an opportunity, and decided to move forward with her desire to own a dance store of her own in the beginning of 2016. Some people set goals and never even try to achieve them. Not THIS woman! Lisa had her eyes on the prize, and jumped right in. “We are one of the few ‘brick and mortar’ dance stores left in the area. Most businesses have relied on the internet for sales.” Buying online may be convenient, in some cases, but you’re missing out on so much more when you don’t physically walk into a dance store for your dance needs… Not only are you missing out on the personal interaction when you decide to purchase online, but you could be making severe mistakes and buying items that aren’t properly fitted. (Dancing in shoes and/or clothing that are not the right fit could be an absolute nightmare.) “Dance shoes need to be properly fitted, and we take pride in custom-fitting all of our customers. We carry a very large selection of shoes and accessories. All pointe shoe fittings are actually done by me, personally, to ensure great quality and care.” Lisa is a hard-working, dedicated, and loyal person who always goes above and beyond for all of her customers. She offers to travel to customers for custom-fitting sessions for groups of


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{ ROC FITNESS & CYCLING }

WHATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S HOT...INDOOR CYCLING BY JAMIE GRUTTADURIA I PHOTOS BY DEVIN MACK

Indoor cycling is at an all time high in popularity right now. Many people are using their online devices, tablets, PCâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and smart phones and are heading over to the app store to download an interactive program that they use in conjunction with an exercise bike or indoor smart bicycle trainer. There are many factors that play into this current trend. The first is convenience and time. We all know what it is like try to make a 6am spin class at your favorite spin studio. The extra time it takes to get up early and the commute to the gym in all types of different weather conditions. Bringing a change of work clothes, showering and not to mention the time away from your family. Road cycling can be dangerous. Road bicycling is just too risky for a lot of people. Many motorists are so distracted while they drive that many cyclist no longer feel safe sharing roads with motorists. Also many cities do not have bike lanes to 252

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help keep riders a safe barrier from automobile traffic.

regular basis.....in the convenience of your own home.

Getting the exercise experience you want.

So lets get down to the nuts and bolts How do I set up my personal in home cycling space. Well, first you have to have a stationary indoor exercycle or a bicycle and indoor bicycle smart trainer. Then you have to a wireless device that is connected to the internet. You can use a smart phone, tablet, or laptop computer. If you have a smart television you may be able to mirror your smart phone or tablet to your smart TV for a large screen virtual experience.

There are many types of cycling apps... some are a virtual health club spin classes. Others are more about riding your bicycle through scenic views in

Home Exercycle mirroring to Smart TV

some of the most epic places around the globe. Another popular style of cycling app is a multi user platform app. This allows you to ride with all your friends from around the world in real time. So instead of paying for a full health club membership and only taking advantage of a fraction of the classes or equipment you are only paying for what you use on a

Bicycle on Smart Trainer with Laptop Computer Choosing the placement of your cycling studio in your home. You should always try to set up your indoor equipment in a space that is inviting for you to spend time in. Also you want to make sure you have a reliable power source and a strong WiFi signal to run the application.


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{ ROC FITNESS & CYCLING } Indoor cycling is at an all time high in popularity right now.

You should always try to set up your indoor equipment in a space that is inviting for you to spend time in. Also you want to make sure you have a reliable power source and a strong WiFi signal to run the application. Making sure that you take the time to set up a dedicated space will ensure a maximum success rate. 256

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Once you get all of your equipment together and it is set up in your space of choice. Go to the App store pic your application and start putting in the work. Please feel free to contact our shop to get more information about the latest indoor cycling technology. We would be glad to help you decide what cycling experience would be most beneficial for your personal fitness goals.

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{ MEALS BY DELEO }

DO WHAT YOU CAN... WHAT CAN YOU DO? BY JASON DELEO I PHOTOS BY CHRIS CONLON

Food by DeLeo has been catering now for 17 years. I’ve been cheffing , line cook, prep cook and dishwasher for about 13-14 years before that. I’ve worked in party houses, hotels, fine dining, Italian restaurants, and even corporate dining. Over my many years in the food industry I’ve noticed trends change, portions get bigger, then smaller. Customers are much more educated, with the food network channels. I can say there’s been many changes in this industry. Part of the reason I like it so much. Have to continue learning, watching, reading and my favorite EATING.

anything. If there was bad produce in our fridge , well I knew shit soup (my brothers and I lovingly named it) was on our dinner menu very soon. He wasted nothing. He still doesn’t. And has taught me so much through the years, how to do much with little, and waste is like throwing money away. So as I said every food service establishment I’ve ever worked in, wasted so much food it was beyond sad. My own catering business

The on constant that I’ve always seen, no matter the establishment, corporate, mom n pop, large and small, the waste. I’ve always been aware , maybe because my father. He’s my absolute hero. When God created Damiano DeLeo, well as they say they broke the mold. He’s a very special, selfless human being. I’m lucky enough to call him Pop. Any how he was born in Calabria, Italy a small town Siderno Marina. He’s a young man at 67 came here with his six brothers and sisters, mom and dad about 58 years ago. No electricity, no running water, poor. Not American poor. A very different kind of poor. Not to say that one is easier than the other. Both are difficult. But growing up my father didn’t waste 260

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followed suit. I would say to myself “ what can you do”. About three years ago I was complaining about “people”. How can it be that in America we have hungry children. How can there be Americans without shoes, boots, necessities, ya know. I was at my church at the time. A group of us were complaining about the people of America. When are they going to act, very self righteously and kind of assholishly. And in a life changing

phrase a man overhearing us came over and gently asked one question - what can you do? I thought for second and said -right! He asked again and this time- I got it! I said well I try and give my leftovers to my staff, but I always have more. I can pack it up and find hungry people and feed them. Go and do- i felt that in my stomach, in my innermost places. The man said if we all j u s t a n s w e re d that question, stopped waiting for someone else to come and save the world, little by little, very slowly the wounds would heal. I’m here to tell you I’ve worked for three plus years now doing just that - what I can- and surly the man was right. Little by little the wounds are healing. Sometimes the people I meet, on my journey, with the food I bring, the resources I acquire along the way, the handshake or hug they haven’t received in such a long time, sometimes their wounds begin to heal, but I found out to my surprise my wounds, are skinned over. Do what you can- what can you do? Kind regards, ason DeLeo Food By DeLeo


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{ HARNESS YOUR ABILITY } BY JASON KROPIDLOWSKI

HYPNOSIS FOR BREAST CANCER SIDE AFFECTS

As most are aware, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Some of you are currently battling this beast, while others have conquered it. Sadly some have lost loved ones to it. Chances are most people have or will know of someone affected by this disease. The American Cancer Society’s estimates for breast cancer in the United States for 2018 are: • About 266,120 new cases of invasive breast cancer will be diagnosed in women. • About 63,960 new cases of carcinoma in situ (CIS) will be diagnosed (CIS is non-invasive and is the earliest form of breast cancer). • About 40,920 women will die from breast cancer. While many people are familiar with the physical affects of breast cancer and the

medical treatments available, many are unaware of the emotional and mental health issues that can arise. Depression, anxiety, panic, anger and resentment, guilt, fear, low self esteem or confidence, and impaired libido are some of the most common. Left untreated, the effects of these issues can be as devastating as the cancer itself. While there are plenty of great support groups available, many suffering from the emotional issues struggle without professional help. Help for these issue are available through three primary methods: Medications, traditional talk-therapy, alternative therapeutic modalities. Of the these, medications tend to be the most sought. Unfortunately, there’s no medication that’s a cure for any of these problems, therefore they tend to treat the symptoms more so than the problem. Traditional talk-therapy comes in as the second sought after method. While helpful in many cases, it can typically take months

or even years for significant changes with these methods. The problem is many people give up on them before they become effective or offer a considerable amount of relief. The least sought after method is alternative therapeutic modalities. These methods are often overlooked because most health insurance do not cover these services here in the United States, where as they are common and even mainstream in many other parts of the world. Of the dozen or so common alternative modalities, hypnotherapy is one of the most effective in dealing with the above issues in a relatively short period of time. It’s not uncommon for those using hypnosis under these conditions to find relief or sometimes freedom from these issues in under a month of applying the tool. While hypnosis is not a cure or remedy to these conditions, it is a powerful tool that naturally promotes increased awareness, coping abilities, stress management, and improved confidence, self esteem and self ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2018

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{ HARNESS YOUR ABILITY } While many people are familiar with the physical affects of breast cancer and the medical treatments available, many are unaware of the emotional and mental health issues that can arise.

love. Because it is natural, there are no dangers or negative side affects. It either works or doesn’t. The effectiveness tends to be increased with an individuals desire to make positive changes and their willingness to apply the tool. One of the best attributes associated with utilizing hypnosis is that the positive changes created in a relatively easy and short period of time, typically become habitual. This means that one doesn’t have to think about and try to apply these healthier coping techniques for long term benefits. Rather they become automatic reactions when triggered in future situations. Hypnosis is a scientifically proven effective first line of defense in dealing with these types of issues. While effective, it’s not for everyone. It is not a tool that is done by the hypnotist, rather a cooperative effort between the hypnotist and the individual. One must be open and willing to apply the tool regularly, and must desire to change

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more than they desire to remain in their current situation. You only get out of it what you invest in it. When used in adjunct to traditional talk-therapy and sometimes medications, if necessary, the effectiveness can be greatly enhanced and results achieved more quickly. If you have tried traditional methods to address these conditions, or are battling these conditions either as a result of cancer or other reasons, hypnosis might be an effective method for you to seek. Most larger communities have a local professional clinical hypnotist trained in working with these conditions. Most reputable clinical hypnotist will offer a free consultation to determine what would be appropriate to assist in your particular situation, and determine if you would be a candidate for hypnosis. Rates may vary depending upon methods available and duration of and number of sessions necessary. Ensure your provider is

certified through a recognized professional hypnosis organization, is insured, has a proven tract record of experience. Be cautious of those who claim to have one approach or method to resolve all issues, or who can quote you a fixed price for your situation without meeting with you and discussing your particular situation in detail. While they may be able to assist you, chances are they probably have limited experience, or utilize a one-size fits some approach, which may not be effective for your particular situation. If you are interested in a free, no-obligation consultation to determine if hypnosis is right for you, feel free to contact me at ROC Hypnosis by calling (585) 267-5756. I’d be happy to assist you in determining if hypnosis is the right method for you, and to help you regain control of your happiness, health, and quality of life.


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{ YOU MATTER }

YOU MATTER BY JUDI SWANSON

The word brave is an adjective meaning “ready to face and ENDURE danger or pain, showing courage” as defined by Dictionary online. This past week Dr. Chrstine Blasey Ford demonstrated in every essence of the word being brave. As a female never having been sexually assaulted I cannot say I know how Dr. Ford is feeling because I do not. There have been times, too many times, where I have felt uncomfortable, creeped out, nervous, afraid in the presence of a man. My daughters wear yoga shorts underneath their dresses when they go out to bars because men (yep plural) have tried to put their hands up their dresses and touch them. A sentiment echoed by many females I have talked to about this. Yet like so many women we keep quiet, afraid to say anything, afraid of making a scene. We are NOT the ones making a scene because someone is putting their hands in unwanted areas of our personal space. We are reacting to someone touching us who does not have permission to touch. If you are driving your car and someone in their car starts to come into your lane do you sit quietly in your car hoping the other car will not hit your car because you do not want to use your car horn to upset anyone. Or do you LAY ON 272

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THE HORN, to get their attention so they stop coming into your lane and hitting your car. The other individual is completely, 100% responsible for how they drive their car. If the other individual hits your car regardless of what action you take they are the responsible party. Not you. Everyone has the right to be SAFE in all areas of our lives.

Sexually assault, harassment, rape occurs female to male, female to female, male to male, and male to female. The damage to all victims is horrific. Does this impact someone every day of their life? YES. Can people heal? YES with a lot of hard work. The National Sexual Violence Resource Center reports the percentage of victims is 91% female and nine percent male. 91% female. 91% female. Take it in and sit with that for a moment. It’s not that there aren’t wonderful, honorable men in this world because there are. Yet there is a problem and it’s a big one. So what are we going to do about it? To d a y i s presenting us with an opportunity, women and men, to take action. Today is giving us, women and men, an opportunity to increase our brave, gather our spunk, tap into our courage, and make a change.

RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) reports that every 98 SECONDS, let me repeat 98 SECONDS, an American over age 12 years old is being raped. I have counseled a number of individuals that did not report. What we know from Dr. Ford’s testimony is she, like many others, did not report as well. This number only reflects reported cases. The chances are it is much more frequent.

Today is the day. Many females have been raised in environments at home, school, and work where we are NOT supposed to raise our hands, voice our objections, or question information being presented us. We are supposed to follow along and be quiet. We are not supposed to argue, fight, or object. Let me be crystal clear about a very important part. Females


The word brave is an adjective meaning â&#x20AC;&#x153;ready to face and ENDURE danger or pain, showing courageâ&#x20AC;? as defined by Dictionary online.


have NOT created an environment that gives any male permission to talk or touch her in an uninvited way. Not at all. Our female voices of being treated with respect, honor, dignity, and equality need to be expressed. There is much power and strength in girl strong. We need to stand up, stand firm, even when every fiber of our being is shaking inside with fear. We need to stand up for ourselves and others too. To show our girl strong. No shame as it corrupts and crumbles. Only support and empowerment as these qualities tighten, connect, and secure. We do have the right to react towards another person that same way we would react if a car is entering our lane. To blast our horn and say stop if someone is saying or doing anything to us that 274

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makes us uncomfortable. Men are needed too! We need you to use your voice to stop comments that are disrespectful about women. If you are making a choice of saying or acting in a disrespectful way to a female STOP. If someone was inappropriately touching your mother, your sister, your daughter, would you be ok with it? NO! Men if you are keeping quiet when your buddies are talking or acting disrespectfully to or about females speak up and tell them to STOP, even if you are feeling uncomfortable inside about doing so. Tell your friends it’s not ok. Your words and actions every day as a man has influence and power. How do you want to use it? Do you want to be silent or do you want to take a stand?

Socrates said “the greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be”. The brave actions of Dr. Ford presents all of us, female and male, an opportunity. To make a change so all humans, female and male, are treated with respect, honor, dignity. To create a world where all humans, female and male, can feel safe. Where all humans, female and male, can bring out the best in ourselves and the best in others. Every single, solitary one of us matters. We have an opportunity to create a healthier, safer world for ourselves and other generations to come. I am up for the challenge. Are you?


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{ RW FITNESS }

MOTIVATION BY GUSTAVO ZAJIA, JR

Motivation is the desire or willingness to do something. It is a powerful and tricky beast. Sometimes we are excited to start a new endeavor or pursue a goal and other times we are caught in a spiral of procrastination. Why is this so? How do we find the mental toughness to gain success, to persevere regardless of circumstances and thwart negative thinking? Whether you’ve set your sights on running your first 5k, tackling a Ragnar relay with friends, training for a triathlon or starting a fitness routine to get fit, you are going to need motivation. There will be times when rising before the crack of dawn to go running or hit the gym seems easy to do and there will be times when the pillow seems to handcuff you in a state of immobility. Breaking through and establishing routine is not as hard as it might seem. Surprisingly, motivation comes after starting a new behavior, not before. There is a common misconception that we will be motivated after reading a self help book, watching an exercise video, seeing someone finish a race or learning about a new workout routine. However active inspiration or the act of taking the first step towards our goal, applying new ideas and making mistakes that we discover who we are and what is important to us. On top of this, active inspiration is what ultimately results in long term passion and enthusiasm. Watching someone else’s success may leave you feeling excited for a little while, but taking action and applying your plan to your life will inspire you more than anything anyone else can say or do. So motivation becomes the result of action and not the cause of it. You will find that once you have started moving towards your goals, ( literally and figuratively) actually making it to the gym and getting in the pool, running for the first time in years or performing the lifting plan you got from your trainer, the desire to reach your goals grows and grows. After you start, progress occurs naturally, 276

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making your first step, the most important one to take. There are many who start and do not follow through however and in my years as a fitness specialist, personal trainer and group exercise instructor, proudly working with thousands of people; the main reason is unrealistic expectations and setting too lofty a goal to begin with. So, setting realistic goals is imperative if you want to maintain incentivized. Consulting with a qualified trainer, running coach or a yoga instructor who is unpretentious and makes you feel at home on the mat. Learn where you stand and what your abilities are to better plan where you want to go and how you’re going to get there. Visualize success. Be open to suggestions and receptive. And, remember that accomplishments and the work that needs to be done to attain them are a gift you are giving to yourself that will make life more enjoyable. Ultimately, setting goals to and attaining anything in life lays the foundation for growth and happiness. They give us a sense of utility, confidence and belonging. We feel accomplished. The more we learn and grow, the more we want to know and grow. I met a delightful human being who hadn’t ridden a bike since she was 10 years old. In the span of a year, she completed her first triathlon, admirably well I might add. She was willing to put in the work in the pool, the saddle and ever so steady running miles. I was honored to be a part of it and could not have been more proud. I have always stressed the connection of our Spirit, our mind and our body. I don’t believe it’s ever more evident than when we take our body to greater heights. Fitness has an uncanny ability to make us think more clearly and soothes our souls like only love can. Self love can do that and we must have that to reach new heights.

There are five main reasons people exercise 1. Social affiliation- you exercise because it puts you in contact with others, be it friends, running groups, exercise classes or complete strangers. 2. Health management- the importance of maintaining your health. For yourself or so that you will be there for those that need you. 3. Skill development- becoming a better swimmer, better versed at yoga or using your body to challenge your limits wherever you are. 4. Social recognition- finishing your first ultra marathon in the woods. Completing your first 5k and crossing the finish line hands in the air!! Or finally doing Front Bird in acro yoga with your partner. 5. Image - exercise is viewed as “cool” Which of these do you gravitate towards? I know all of these have propelled me in the past to achieving something I never thought I could. There’s no one best way to motivate everyone to exercise but as long as you’re trying to improve your health, skills and friendships, exercise can and will become a driving force in all that you do and fulfilling area of your life. Lastly, a quote from Norman Vincent Peale. “Believe in yourself! Have Faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” The only thing you have to do is take that first step and if you’re not too careful, you’ll discover a growing unfolding you that you can look in the mirror and love.


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{ COACHING WITH GINNY }

OVERCOMING SHAME: THE STORY (IES) BY GINNY HRONEK

“When I was around 8 or 9 years old my older brother told me my legs were fat and I should not wear pants. You should wear dresses so people can’t tell won’t notice your fat legs, he said. To this day, I avoid wearing pants whenever I can. Going to the beach I wrapped a towel around my waist until it was time to get in the water. During gym class, I’d try to hide behind others whenever I could.” That is a story from a 40-something client who has been trapped by that tale for over three decades. Her brother’s story became her story. Was it true? For her it was. In reality, it was not, yet she embraced it as absolute. Think how different her life may have been without that story. She would have been liberated to wear whatever she wanted. She would have enjoyed more activities. She would not have hidden behind skirts. She would have cried fewer tears.

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Many people have stories that impact their self-esteem, their progress and their entire lives. Stories are sourced from family, teachers, friends, bullies, the media. I often hear of negative stories about appearance, intelligence, talents, etc. The majority of stories have encompassed decades, many beginning at an early age. I’m curious how many stories have restrained “believers” from advancing their education, career, relationships, or experiencing joy. If you have stories that have affected your life you can move beyond them. Consider engaging in an exercise, as follows: 1) Write down the story, as you recall it. 2) Who is the source of the story? Is that source credible? 3) Is the story absolutely, unequivocally true?

4) What is false about the story? 5) How has the story affected you? 6) Write a new story. The client I referred to above took on this exercise. With permission, I’m sharing her new story, as follows: My legs are strong. They have jogged me many miles. My legs have given me joy in dancing and walking many miles through travel. My legs are mine to wear pants of all styles. I love my legs. You can change your story and your life. For a complimentary discovery session, contact me at ginny@ytcoach, call or text 585-241-3020 and/or visit my website, www.yourturnlifecoaching.com.


{ SHIFT+CONTROL }

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{ MENTALLY THINKING }

SO WHAT IS THERAPY? BY MARY ELLEN DANCE

Mental health therapy has unfortunately been stigmatized for many years for a variety of reasons. Thankfully, in more recent years, the stigma against therapy has started to lessen with movements towards mindfulness and self help. Although every therapist is different in their style and it’s important to find a therapist that you feel comfortable with, there are some common myths that I would like to note. Even with the increasing mental health movement, therapy can still be intimidating, especially for people who have never been to therapy before. It is always interesting the types of questions that I get when people find out that I am a therapist, it turns our everyone has a different idea of what it means to be a therapist and what therapy is really like. I wanted to share some common misconceptions that I have personally heard about therapy as well as shed light on what therapy is really like. - Therapists are not elderly white men with big beards and glasses. There are some therapists that fit this description however that is not the case. Many psychologists that developed theories/ 282

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treatments used today are old white men (Sigmond Freud is a great example) and this is where the stigma began, however it is not this way any longer. People who come see me for the first time are often shocked by how young I am (of course, that could also be related to the

fact that my name is Maryellen). Of course, there are some older men who are therapists but it is important to find a therapist that you feel comfortable with and get along with. If you are looking for a therapist, any therapist

in the community can recommend the type of person you are looking for (ie: older/younger, male/female). - You do not have to lay down on some type of chaise lounge while I analyze your dreams (again, you’re thinking of Sigmond Freud). I do have a couch in my office, as most therapists do, but I do not think that I have ever had someone lay down on the couch. A big part of therapy is the relationship between the client and therapist and it’s hard to develop a relationship if one person is lying down and you cannot look at each other. That being said, I want people to feel relaxed in my office and I will often take off my shoes or put my feet on my chair just because it’s more comfortable! - I am not going to sit and just ask you “How does that make you feel”? I actually do not think I have ever asked that question. Therapy does involve delving into feelings and I may ask questions similar to the above, but I find that question very annoying since it is so commonly used when describing therapy. Hopefully whatever therapist you go to will find a clever way of asking that question. That being said, it is up to you how much you disclose in therapy. The more you share, the more you will get out of therapy, but it is also okay to let your therapist know that you are not ready to share or talk about something.


{ UP & COMING }

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- Therapists are just people. Therapists are not someone to be afraid of or nervous around. I often find myself in social settings where someone discovers that I am a therapist and will respond with something such as “Oh, don’t judge me” or “Are you diagnosing me”? The answer is no! Therapists have their own struggles and concerns just like everyone else. Although therapists have great education and continue their education throughout their career, we are not experts on your life, you are!!

Therapy is most often a conversation with someone who you feel comfortable with and have developed a rapport with. Hopefully therapy will help with learning self awareness and creating positive life changes in a comfortable and confidential setting. Therapy should also be focused on you, your goals, and what you want to accomplish. I am biased, but I think everyone could use some therapy because it’s a great form of support, plus you get to spend an entire hour just talking about yourself without being judged, doesn’t

that sound great? For more information about therapy, questions about mental health, or comments contact Maryellen Dance, Licensed Mental Health Therapist at maryellen@maryellendancelmhc.com.


Do you Þnd that while you strive to be physically healthy and strong, your emotional and mental health is suffering? My aim is to help you Þnd a balance between your mind and body; to create a still mind for your active body. My name is Nicole Lambert. I am a: - Licensed Mental Health Counselor - Nationally CertiÞed Counselor I specialize in: - Body Image Issues - Emotional Eating - Weight Loss Goals & Maintenance - Self-Esteem - Depression - Anxiety - Athletes/Student Athletes - Those who are active/want to be more active

I work with: - Adolescents - Teens - Adults of all ages I also work with a wide range of individuals with other emotional or mental health challenges. What ever it is you are going through, don't hesitate to reach out. I’d love to learn more about you and I’m happy to help!

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{ MIND, BODY, SPIRIT }

HEALTHY MIND HEALTHY HEART BY ALANA CAHOON

The power of the mind is an amazing thing. What we think creates our reality. Think about it. Wouldn’t you prefer to create a happy, harmonious existence? Of course you would! Here’s how. TRUST Begin with a sense of trust. Believing that you may actually have that innate power to shape your life. Why not? Trust me and go with it! When we are empowered, we make things happen. For example, if it is expected of you on the job to make sure that project A is completed on a certain deadline, you make darned sure that it happens.

prolong life, save life, and support life, has a major flaw. It has forgotten the value of preventive medicine. Wait a minute. Not completely! We are encouraged to brush our teeth twice a day and see our dentist twice a year. And at some point in our lifespan, we are encouraged to see our doctors on an annual basis. And we mustn’t forget, at the onset of our lives, our parents diligently bring us to the doctors on a regular basis.

What if this same expectation is placed on you for your health? What if I said to you, “It is your responsibility to maintain a healthy heart.” How would you respond? I suppose if you’re just reading this you may ignore it, but if it’s your job, to take care of your health, let’s say you get paid to do this, and the better job you do at it the more money you make, you might say yes! Sign me up for. I can do this! It’s easy. And there’s the thing. It is easy! But your mind doesn’t seem to see the importance of the matter until it’s too late. And you end up in the doctor’s office or worse. REMOVE BLAME It’s not your fault. Western medicine in all of it’s incredibly amazing discoveries to 288

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obese population… in the world. What! How did that happen? French fries and cheeseburgers? All oversized! SOLUTIONS Fortunately, there are a number of ways to stay healthy. And since we’ve determined it is your primary job here on earth - to stay healthy - we’re in luck! CREATIVE VISUALIZATION This is one of my favorite tools to manifest a new reality. To clear away the past, including traumas, and beliefs that no longer serve us. How is it done? Through the power of the mind! Here’s an exercise for you to try out yourself. Sit. Imagine. Breathe. Set intention. ‘Sit in a comfortable position and close your eyes. Take three nice long deep breaths in and three long releasing breaths out. You’ll begin to come into a relaxed state of mind.

There is tremendous value in all of this, and we must appreciate it. In some parts of our world this is a luxury! Thank heavens for western medicine. But what do we do between birth and middle age? The big gulp We are bombarded with distractions. From the big Mac to the big gulp. Quantity has overridden quality in the Western World of dining. That, too is a luxury, I suppose. Except that we have now become the most

Imagine the sun is shining above your head, pouring its gentle rays of sunshine all over you, from your head to your toes. Use your imagination! See the colors of the rays. You may even see sparkles. Take three more cleansing breaths in and out. Set your intention by saying out loud or to yourself, “I am healthy. My body is healthy. My mind is clear. My emotions are calm. I am in perfect health.” Repeat this statement three times, each


BY ALANA CAHOON


time bringing it in to the center of your chest. This is your heart center, the chakra of love and compassion. As you repeat your affirmation, and hold it in the center of your heart, you will begin to transform your life. As your health shifts, so does your perspective on the activities of life. Your temperament becomes calmer. Your sleep, more peaceful. Your thoughts, more joyful. Your body, healthy.

Feel free to alter your intention.

With each breath in, imagine breathing in fresh clean air to purify all the cells in your body. And with each exhale, purging any toxins.

A negative thought serves no one. Blaming yourself for having the negative thought, by the way, doesn’t serve anyone either, especially you! By bringing awareness to your thoughts and trusting in your power to change them into positive supportive thoughts, will only serve you and everyone in your world!

Believe in this process, and reap the benefits of a healthier body, and a more joyful soul. HEALING ILLNESS If you are already suffering an illness or disease, you may still use this same exercise. 290

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For example, “I now heal my body of this ‘xyz’ illness, and release all and any pathogens associated with it from my entire being.” CONCLUSION Pay attention to your thoughts. Notice the onset of stress. And use the power of your mind to change them.

Your heart is the source of your joy and your health. When it is happy, it becomes

healthy. Set your intention today to bring joy to your heart with your thoughts. The power of your mind is an amazing thing! Tell it what to think and you will see welcome changes in your life. Alana Cahoon is a Creative Coach, and Founder of Grow 2 B U, LLC. She provides guidance to professionals in transition, leadership & entrepreneurship. Her signature program, ‘Mindfulness for Professionals’ trains the mind to achieve calm, clarity and balance. Her group program, ‘Body Mind Connection’ provides a holistic approach to weight loss and body image. She is available for private coaching and integrative healing. (585) 9530503 - alana@alanacahoon.com - www. alanacahoon.com.


Grow 2 B U, LLC

Grow your business Expand your mind Heal your soul

(585) 953-0503 Grow 2 B U Studios Mindfulness Training & Yoga Center 11 Goodman Street North, Rochester, NY USA

www.alanacahoon.com

Leading professionals to bring balance, joy & prosperity to their lives Alana Cahoon Creative Coach with a Holistic approach


{{ EMPOWERED A MODEL BUSINESS LIVING }}

FALLING OUT OF DEPRESSION BY ALEXIS SANTOS, PRACTITIONER OF AYURVEDIC MEDICINE I PHOTOS BY ROB DANIELS

October is here, and with that the year is coming to a close. The days have gotten shorter, the air cooler as we dive into the darkest days of 2018. This time of year has always symbolized a turning toward inward reflection, peering into what has and should’ve been, and all that is left to be accomplished. The kind of reflection that either makes us cringe or beam with gratitude… or perhaps a good helping of both. Regardless, Fall has always tended to be a time when depression, mine particularly, veers its ugly head and zaps me of my energy and motivation, even if just for a little while. As something I have dealt with since the age of 13, I’ve learned my lessons when allowing myself to deny, wallow and plunge into the darkness and how hard it can be to pull yourself out of it. I say allow, because I now know that for me personally, it is a choice. I ultimately found Ayurveda due to my depression. My brother Brian died from bone cancer in October of 2007. Those first 2 years following were a blur, spending much of the time sleeping whenever I could or completely submerged into distractions of sorts. As a sophomore in high school, I missed 10 weeks of school that year. I dropped a bunch of classes and said Hail Mary’s before every exam. By the grace of God, and the skin of my ass, I managed to pass. Living life on the edge that way is not something that most of us benefit from, as well as having its own set of consequences. I couldn’t sleep, I was sick all the time, I couldn’t retain anything, I gained weight, then lost it to gain it right back. I had no stamina, energy or zest for life. Most of all, I was absent of any gratitude, contentment 292

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or sense of peace, and instead filled with angst and perpetual fear. My silver lining came when my mom convinced me to give meditation a try with her. Depression from an allopathic perspective is a serious medical condition that affects more than 16 million adults in the US, having at least one episode in a given year. It is one of the leading causes of disability and is more prevalent in women than men. According to verywellmind.com, 300 million people

around the world have depression. Over 10 million adults in the US experienced an episode of depression that caused severe impairment in the past year. 50 percent of all people diagnosed with depression are also diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Symptoms of depression include constant sad or irritable mood, significant changes in sleep, appetite or energy, trouble thinking, focusing, or remembering, absence of interest or pleasure from things that were once enjoyed, feeling guilty, worthless, hopeless or empty and physical symptoms

such as headaches, digestive problems and chronic pain. There are several types of depression that can affect us at any given time. Major depression is one of the most common and is associated with an imbalance in the 3 chemical messengers or neurotransmitters (norepinephrine, serotonin and dopamine) responsible for transmitting electrical signals between brain cells. Seasonal depression is a pattern of depressive episodes that occur in line with seasonal changes, most commonly experienced in the fall leading into and throughout winter according to verywellmind. com. Postpartum depression occurs in 1 in 7 women, with more than half having never experienced a depressive episode before and having begun to experience symptoms during their pregnancy. Allopathic treatments range from medication (antidepressants and atypical antipsychotic agents), light therapy (great for seasonal components of depression) and psychotherapy such as cognitive-behavioral therapy and interpersonal therapy. From an Ayurvedic perspective, all 3 of the Doshas – Vata, Pitta and Kapha (elemental body/mind types) are involved in depression. However, Vata is the most common cause. There is a loss of “ojas” which is the pure, vital essence that sustains our physical stamina and energy. To give an example, fresh broccoli has much more ojas than frozen. Circumstances that deplete us of our ojas include excessive overworking, fasting, lack of sleep, excessive sexual activity, hurrying or rushing around, sustained


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. This time of year has always symbolized a turning toward inward reflection, peering into what has and should’ve been, and all that is left to be accomplished. The kind of reflection that either makes us cringe or beam with gratitude…

fresh broccoli has much more ojas than frozen. Circumstances that deplete us of our ojas include excessive overworking, fasting, lack of sleep, excessive sexual activity, hurrying or rushing around, sustained negative thinking, alcohol or recreational drug use, excessive exposure to unrefined or crass behavior or media, overexposure to the sun, excessive stress, surgery and injury or trauma. Depression can often involve Sadhaka Pitta, which is the contentment and fulfillment of the heart and correlated to the 4th Chakra otherwise known as the heart or Anahata Chakra. Ruled by the planet Venus, the 4th Chakra is responsible for displeasure, resentment, envy and depression to more severe disease tendencies such as heart disease. At its core it is our pain and hurt, accountable for our self-preservation and detachment. Depression occurs when the reserve of energy of the body becomes depleted. Vata type depression creates problems falling asleep, anxiety and an overall sense of feeling overwhelmed. It is influenced by too much change and lack of consistency or routine. The best ways to manage and prevent Vata type depression is to incorporate nourishing, grounding and steadfast routines into our daily life, such as meditation or regularity in routine (going to bed and waking up at 294

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the same time, having meals at the same time daily etc). Pitta type depression causes early morning awakenings (between 2-4am), ill temperament and exasperation. and a perceived obstruction of possibilities. It is caused by overdoing, creating a necessity

to soothe the intensity and correct sleep disturbances. Meditation, spending time outdoors in nature and lightening our workload are helpful ways to deal with Pitta type depression. Kapha type depression creates excessive daytime sleepiness, and a general sense of detachment and apathy. There is an overall lack of motivation, often

caused by an over attachment to someone or thing. The best way to deal with Kapha type depression is to be motivated, possibly by a goal or deadline. Meditation and exercise are great lifestyle changes to incorporate. All in all, if there was one recommendation I could make to anyone – MEDITATE. Meditation changed my life for the better and gave me a sense of empowerment and a tool to manage my own thoughts and feelings for the better. Whether it be a walking meditation, mantra or chanting (my personal favorite), listening to peaceful music or simply sitting in quiet contemplation. It is called a practice for a reason, because as you dive deeper and deeper into yourself and consciousness the more you begin to receive. It is the gift that keeps on giving, with none of the side effects and only side benefits. If you are suffering from depression, anxiety, insomnia, sadness or overall zest for life, feel free to reach out. Book a consultation with me, or a vibrational sound therapy (with color/light therapy!) session with Shari Santos of Shakti Meditation and Sound Healing. Talk to someone, whatever it is you need to do. But please, do not just do nothing. You can change the way you feel, you have the power and there are plenty of safe tools that can be easily incorporated into your daily life. For more information about my services or to book your Individual Ayurvedic Consultation: Alexis Santos 585-362-1038 www.sarvaniayurveda.com alexissantos@sarvaniayurveda.com


{ SOUND & THE CITY }

THE IMMENSE BENEFITS OF CHROMATHERAPY BY SHARI SANTOS I PHTOS BY ROB DANIELS

For those of us who haven’t taken a science class in a while, here’s a fun fact…you can’t have color without light and you can’t have light without color! The wavelengths of visible light are microscopic, ranging from 400-700 nm or nanometers. A nanometer is a billionth of a meter. White light contains all the colors of the spectrum. A particular color is expressed through a range of tiny wavelengths. Red is the longest wavelength and ranges between 620750 nm, while violet is the shortest and ranges between 380-450 nm. Chromatherapy has been practiced for millenia in Egypt, Greece, China and India to restore health. The healing temples used colored cloths over windows and gemstones to transmit light onto certain areas of the body, in addition to instruments with healing frequencies and vocal intonation. They discovered that often the healing properties of plants were often determined by their color. For example, many red flowers and herbs were used to treat blood conditions. Light in specific colors gives fruits, vegetables, flowers and herbs their nutritional qualities and is the active ingredient in vitamins, minerals and other nutrients. Sunlight contains all colors of light which combine to make white light. The sunlight that reaches the earth’s surface contains UV, IR and Visible Light, which encompasses all the colors of the spectrum). A rainbow is all of the seven colors in sunlight split. 296

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Light is experienced three ways in that is can be transmitted, absorbed and reflected. Transparent objects transmit light while solid objects reflect them. A black object absorbs all the colors so no light is reflected back. Humans absorbs light through their eyes, skin and energy field. Through our vision, we absorb colors and their healing qualities by simply looking at them. Our skin absorbs light and the photonic energy is delivered

via meridian point to deeper parts of the body including the organs and the very important chakras. Chakras are energy vortexes that are associated with all of our major glands and govern the different physiological systems in our body. The seven chakras are each associated with the seven colors of light because everything is in essence related in this wonderful and mysterious universe. The chakras are like valves that regulate the flow of light/color through our nervous system. I’ll talk about three of the colors as each one has a lengthy

list of healing qualities. Red is the color of the root (Muladhara) chakra and is a hot, stimulating color that affects us mentally and physically. It is the color of vitality, energy and power. It eradicates laziness, lethargy and a general lack of vitality. It helps treat conditions related to the heart, lungs, bones and muscles. It is extremely effective in wound healing, burns, skin rejuvenation by boosting collagen and prevents and reduces scar tissue. In the late 1800s, red light was used in the treatment of smallpox and reducing the scarring from smallpox. It regenerates the blood, increases the flow which helps poor circulation. It vitalizes and alleviates congestion of the liver. Red fortifies the flow of energy to the kidneys, activates the pituitary gland which then stimulates the other glands and their corresponding organs and systems. It stimulates endorphins and enkephelins in the brain, which are mood boosting and pain reducing neurotransmitters. Red relieves pain in the bones and muscles, activates sensory nerves so the five senses are heightened. In the cells, it activates ATP (adenosine triphosphate) which is our energy source for all of our body processes. It elevates RNA/ DNA synthesis for cellular reproduction and restores damaged cells. Infrared and red light are widely used today to treat a multitude of conditions. Red is truly a kick ass color and deserves its fiery reputation!


FUSION WHO LEADERSHIP { {WOMAN INSPIRES} }

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{ SOUND & THE CITY } For those of us who haven’t taken a science class in a while, here’s a fun fact…you can’t have color without light and you can’t have light without color!

Green is a master color and is the combination of blue and yellow. It is a healing, balancing color and has a calming, cooling effect. Green is the most common color in nature for a reason. Green presides over the heart (Anahata) chakra. The heart chakra is the 4th chakra and is a bridge between the lower and upper chakras. The heart chakra is the center of infinite, unconditional love. Green encourages feeling of trust, compassion, gratitude and calm. It is the color of new life, nature, fertility, hope and youth. It governs the heart, lungs, breasts, upper back and endocrine and circulatory systems. It is a detoxifier and is antiseptic in nature. Green stimulates the Pituitary gland which is the master gland and informs all other glands. It affects the sympathetic nervous system to relieve stress in the blood vessels. It is a healing tonic to the body as it strengthens he immune system, builds muscles, bones and other tissues and dissolves blood clots. Blue is a cold color and is effective in treating heat and inflammation in the body. It has a sedative effect on the body and mind. Blue is the color of the throat (Vishuddhi) chakra and can treat imbalances in the thyroid and parathyroid glands, neck and shoulder tension and teeth and gum issues. Blue light is used to treat jaundice in infant and adults and heals this condition in a relatively short time. It has 298

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antibacterial and antiseptic properties and can take the place of antibiotic therapy for those who cannot tolerate them. It calms the nervous system, is anti-inflammatory and heals burns more quickly than without

use. It is a blood tonic, promotes growth, stimulates vitality and metabolism and as an astringent, shrinks tissues and dries up mucous. It can even reset the biological clock when applied behind the knees! Very useful for the frequent traveler who enters different

time zones or one who does shift work. It contracts capillaries, veins and arteries so blood pressure can be increased. Blue is the color of the sky so our circadian rhythms can be substantially influenced by it. It is also the color of oxygen in nature. It can be used to treat an inordinate amount of conditions ranging from acne, baldness, fever, colic, insomnia, herpes to hysteria, SAD, TMJ, ulcers, warts, etc. An amazing color with extremely powerful properties! Chromotherapy is a simple and effective way to treat an infinite number of maladies with minimal side effects if done with the individual’s mental health and physiology as a guide. I’m very happy to be able to offer Chromatherapy as another healing modality with my vibrational sound therapy session. It is an extremely effective way to balance and energize the entire human being with no harmful side effects. For more information on How Chromotherapy and Vibrational Sound Therapy can benefit you, or to book your own Individual or group sound healing, please contact me at Shakti Meditation and Sound Healing at (585)3621036 or on Facebook and Instagram. Shari Santos is a Meditation Teacher and Vibrational Sound Practitioner in Fairport, NY


{ THE GUTSY WOMAN }

FALLING BACK, OR FALLING BEHIND? BY JOY LECESSE

How do you get your Gutsy going when you’re fumbling in the dark? Let’s face it: We all need some assurance that somewhere, someone has our back. Life holds out zillions of opportunities for us, but offers no promises. “We can only hope.” And work hard. And stay the course. And laugh sometimes at ourselves when we know we’re taking ourselves too seriously. But what happens when we’re in that sweet spot? When work and family life, relationships and daily events are running smoothly, and we’re lulled into a quiet peace ~ almost a complacency ~ and suddenly, disaster strikes right in the middle of it? A job loss; a sudden illness (yours or that of a close family member or friend) ~ or a natural disaster of epic proportion rocks entire communities either in our own backyard or somewhere on the other side of the globe? What then? The hurricane or tornado hasn’t hit your house, perhaps, but time after time we’re reminded of the fragility of life, and the uncertainty of it all. Where does our fear of the unknown 300

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take us then? On whom do we rely? If you’re a religious person, you may say that “my faith sustains me.” If you’re not particularly religious or spiritual, you may rely on common sense, self discipline and “the kindness of strangers.” But for many of us ~ even those with a strong sense of faith and inner courage, the times we’re

living in now are rocking the boat. We’re been asked to examine things we’ve always taken for granted because other people haven’t had that same good fortune. And now, we’ve reached the tipping point. The hundredth monkey has walked through the gate, and we had better take note. In truth, there is only one certainty: and that is

impermanence, and the UNcertainty it conveys. If we’re not equipped with the tools we need to stay centered in our values, speak our truths, and pursue our life’s work with a sense of joy and peace, our cages will always be rattled. We’ll always be anxious. We’re prone to hiding and not living life out loud. It takes courage to stand up for one’s beliefs, whatever they are. We need to be able to fall back on our values, and get familiar with our individual and cultural discomfort. Connecting is crucial: with ourselves, with others. Dialogue is essential. The place to start is the dialogue within. Grab your best buddies and your favorite warm cuppa whatever, and start the dialogue. Ask “Who” and what and why and how... and figure out how to ~ as the author Pëma Chödrön writes ~ we can begin by “Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change.” I highly recommend her work. For more information, check out www. thegutsywomancoach.com.


How do you get your Gutsy going when youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re fumbling in the dark?

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{ MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE }

MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE BY LISA A. WAGNER

Most of my life, I have lived with crippling self-doubt, low self-esteem and feelings of never being “good enough.” I was bullied and had, what seemed like a decade of that “awkward phase.” At my lowest point at age 16, I contemplated suicide. In December of 1982, I met my future husband, Paul in the high school library. (I had a crush on him since 9th grade!) He quickly helped me to see the beauty inside me that I didn’t believe existed and encouraged me to do what I loved; art. I often tell him he saved my life. In 1989, before the birth of my daughter, I began cultivating a quiet, creative space, began practicing yoga and meditation, while seeking out natural and holistic ways of caring for my health. It changed how I viewed everything. Playing the victim hadn’t served me in a positive way or lifted me up. I finally saw that I was the one deciding where my path would take me. How my desires could manifest into something larger than I had even an inkling of their grandness and magnitude. I knew and understood it would take daily practice to move out of fear and into a place of love, especially for myself. Self-love and compassion deserve our full attention. WHAT IS MY LIFE’S INTENTION? Once I started to get a bit of my footing in this new way of being, I would often ask, “What is my purpose?” Many times, 302

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I would feel a void when asking that. But I knew I had to persist and push through the self-doubt. My heart knew there was something divine and sacred waiting on me to show up and do the work. I felt like I was to be a part of something bigger. Part of the solution and not the problem. It’s the knowing how or even where to begin that stumped me and left me stagnated and at a job that didn’t feel fulfilling for my soul.

While on this path and after the birth of my son in 1995, art became integral in my spiritual growth. I noticed that creativity was helping me to be a better, happier person. Especially a better mom and wife. Art also gave me a centering practice. I saw the beauty in the action of creation. It freed me up to allow my hand and mind to be led. I would receive dreams about doing a piece that wouldn’t go away until they were in motion. When I finished them, I would step back not

knowing how I had done the piece. Those were moments of pure bliss or what they term synchronicity. I wanted everyone to feel that grace. I felt driven to fulfill what I know I currently am meant to do; live with intention. To be a light in this world that so sorely needs it. Being mindful enough that I live from a place of love and not fear. But what does that look like? Especially with my artwork? After asking the Universe for signs showing me how to manifest this purpose, I began literally dreaming in color about a workshop I was leading that not only utilized art as a tool but also included self-care aspects throughout the day. Yoga, meditation, massage and mini life-coaching elements seemed to beautifully complement one another and gave the participants a day of filled with happiness and light. I woke up driven to make this dream a reality. I reached out to those friends I saw in my dream (my life coach, massage therapist and yoga instructor) to help me. Courage, Creation and Connection Workshop was coming into fruition! A day of holistic approaches to creating a mindfulness practice that have worked for the four of us and we knew would work for others. It is also one we will build upon each season with successive workshops. These heart-opening practices are ones I want to share with others who are on that same path. Finding yourself and your life’s


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{ MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE } Finding yourself and your life’s purpose is a daily pursuit that sometimes gets lost in the stresses and obligations we each have.

purpose is a daily pursuit that sometimes gets lost in the stresses and obligations we each have. Through Courage, Creation and Connection, I want you to be able to be in those difficult moments and handle them with grace that honors participants’ spirits. How will we help raise you up? It may be best to explain this by telling you what I know each of the workshop’s elements do for me. Art elevates my mood and awareness. It alleviates stress and anxiousness. It helps heal my soul by quieting the monkey mind. (Remember how you lost track of time while you 304

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colored, or finger painted as a kid?) Massage always centers me and helps me to free up to do my intuitive painting. It releases areas of tension and helps me to mindfully see how much stress I am carrying in my body (which, at times, shocked me that I was able to move at all!). Yoga, I have always found, can free me from my fear-based worry and bodily symptoms that inevitably accompany it. Life coaching and therapy help to guide me toward solutions that honor myself and those I love. I intend to help people nurture their intentions, so that they may manifest

their purpose. It is each of our birthrights to be happy. Let fall be a time to plant that seed so that you may care for it during the winter months and watch your efforts allow you to bloom in the spring. This will bring peace and joy to anyone’s heart and to all those their beautiful ripple touches. May we each live with intention and manifest what is our highest and deepest purpose. Can you even imagine what that would look like? What a beautiful world that would be!


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Make your appointment today Take care of you… $20.00 off a 60-minute session or $30.00 off a 90-minute session

Appointments can be schedule online at www.bemassageandwellness.com Or by phone/text at 585=802-1516

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{ WOMAN { SHIFT+CONTROL WHO INSPIRES } }

HELEN SERAFINE BY MARY KAY TANDLMAYER

It’s a beautiful late summer Sunday, driving down a back country road, lined with corn and hay fields in Liv-ingston County when I happen upon the non-descript farmhouse. From the road, it looks like any other farm house commonly seen on these rarely trodden roads; but this one is different. It is the house of love, ac-ceptance, and a chance on a new lease on life. This is the home of Helen Serafine. It is The Last Chance Ranch. The farmhouse is surrounded by cornfields, offering a private sanctuary for those that are fortunate to be of residence there. A red barn stands proudly against the back-drop of corn; surrounded by electric fence, and heralding an old Mobile sign with a red horse with wings. The horses are lazily grazing among the green pas-tures, fly masks shielding their delicate eyes, noses and ears from insects, occasionally stomping a foot to shoo away an aggravating bug. It is a peaceful herd, and they pay no mind to my presence. A single, purple petunia sprouts in a corner of the pasture; undisturbed by the grazing horses, signaling pure persistence, growing where it was not intended to, and flourishing among the grasses and pasture weeds. Along the front concrete walkway, old horseshoes have been lovingly preserved in the concrete, as if in trib-ute to this majestic animal. To the east of the horse barn, stands a smaller barn, completely fenced in, the ground below padded with a thick layer of hay. Behind the fence, a Great Pyranese eagerly wags his tail in greeting, and another, Shepard-mix runs along the fence line, happily announcing 306

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my arrival. Joy and con-tentment radiates from the canines. The back yard is an oasis. Gardens overflow with colorful cosmos, petunias and other plantings. A bubbling water garden breaks the silence of the otherwise silent sanctuary. A fire ring, that has been laser inscribed, hails the name of this nurturing place: “Last Chance Ranch”. Helen Serafine is the incredible woman behind it all. Pretty much anything with

a heartbeat can grace the doors of the ranch, and find a forever home that offers unconditional love, training, nurturing and rehabilita-tion. Serafine always had a love for all animals, and, as a child, was known to bring all kinds of creature’s home to her childhood residences in Penfield and Irondequoit. It’s no surprise that she now has a place of her own where she can do just that. Serafine’s first animal was a horse named

Penny. She had been riding Penny for quite some time, when Pen-ny’s owner told her that she was going to sell the horse. Helen was devastated, knowing she could never af-ford the animal. The next day, when Helen came to ride, Penny’s owner told Helen that the horse was now not being sold, and instead, gave the horse to Helen, citing “she will never have a home as good as the one you will give her.” Serafine was elated, and it was a prophetic beginning to where she is now. Currently, The Last Chance Ranch houses 3 horses: Thor, Big Red, and Pursa. 4 dogs: Hank, Floyd, Lucky and Levi. And three cats: Orphan, Booger, and Keets. Over the years, many humans have also found safe harbors within the walls of the farmhouse. Helen’s friends were the ones responsible for dubbing the property with it’s infamous name. Ask anyone that knows of an unwanted soul, and the answer you will get is “Helen will take it.” And ask Helen how she does it, and she responds ‘What’s one more plate? What’s one more bowl of dog food? What’s one more flea shot?” It’s this attitude that makes her the most genuine and giving person I have ever met. All different species have found a home at the ranch, although Helen had to re-home her chickens, lambs and goats. “We have a big problem with Coyotes, and I had to move the smaller animals to a safe place.”,she states. When asked about the most unusual guest she ever hosted” “A pair of peacocks. They were so cool, so beautiful, and very noisy.” she laughs. Her most challenging project: Buck, a mustang horse from Nevada.


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{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES } Helen Serafine is the incredible woman behind it all. Pretty much anything with a heartbeat can grace the doors of the ranch, and find a forever home that offers unconditional love, training, nurturing and rehabilita-tion.

Also, a funny story. “Buck just wouldn’t be ridden. No matter how advanced, how experienced the rider, he would manage to spin and quickly rid the rider from his back. So, he just became a pet.” she explains. “It was so funny the day I went to pick Buck up....As I led him into the horse trailer, a donkey came running up, and into the horse trailer alongside of Buck. I turned to the farmer and told him the donkey was in there, and the farmer said, “Oh- they go together...wherever the horse goes, the donkey goes too... the donkey never leaves Buck.” and so I ended up with a horse, and an unexpected donkey.” By far, Serafine’s biggest success story is her mare, Pursa. “When I got the mare, the owner insisted she was untrainable, and could never be ridden. She was 4 years old when I got her. I agreed with the owner, and went off with the mare. When I got her home, I asked my Son to get on her, while I held her, just to see what she would do. He hopped up, and the mare slowly looked around to the mount on her back, she just stood there, not moving an inch. I knew then I could work with her.” Pursa now is a 30 308

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year old Morgan. Helen has trained her to ride both English, Western, and drive. Pursa has taught over 40 kids to ride over her years. A success story indeed. In addition to loving and sponsoring

animals, Helen is an avid contributor to local charities, including The Foundation House, Focus on the Children, and The Back Pack fund. She recently held a chicken barbeque for the neighborhood around the Foundation House, which houses men that

are recovering from addictions, and facilitating thier transition back into society. “I wanted to do something for these men. The neighborhood....the people there were avoiding them.....crossing the street so as to not have to engage with them. I wanted to show them that these are people too, and they deserve a chance.” The day before the barbeque, Ser-afine posted a request on her business Facebook Page, The Angry Rooster Deli, asking for donations of cloth-ing for the men. “The response was overwhelming. When I came in to load up Sunday morning there were garbage bags upon bags of clothing dropped in front of the deli for these men. I teared up with the support from the community. It was amazing” she says. It is Serafine, herself, that is truly amazing.Even though she runs a well loved, busy restaurant, she somehow still finds the time to give, to take care of others. She serves as an inspiration to us all. Unconditional love and acceptance is what she gives.....and one (or two or three extra plates)..... what’s a few extra plates, after all.


{ DIY WITH TRACY }

MONTHLY DIY WITH RECLAIMED DIY STUDIO BY TRACY BRUCATO

I set out to begin my October DIY Project on Wednesday, which was surprisingly a gorgeous, sunny day here in Rochester. I knew I would like to make a fall centerpiece, although candles were so commonly used, as were the traditional colors of Autumn such as Brown, Orange, Yellow and Red. My first stop was Schutt’s Apple Mill on Plank Rd in Webster. It’s a cute shop with homemade goodies such as jelly and honey to rustic home décor and even kid’s books and toys. I knew I had to get an Apple Frost, which is almost like a mix of lemon ice and ice cream texture with the flavor of apples. I also picked up a somewhat small pumpkin and two other mini pumpkins or gourds. They also had a variety of white or cream color pumpkins, which is where the idea of the colors I knew I was going to use came from. My next stop was the good old Dollar Store. There, I picked up some artificial flowers. There were many to choose from in all colors, although I decided to keep it simple with cream an with a hint of metallic to them. I decided I was going to do my centerpiece with light blue, cream and grey. I already had those colors of paint on hand, although you can find them at Walmart for $0.50 to $1.00 a piece if you need to purchase them. The image I pictured was not a shiny gloss but more of a chalk painted look. Chalk paint is available but it can be quite pricey. Using my normal acrylic paints, Plaster of Paris and some water was a much cheaper method to make chalk paint. CHALK PAINT RECIPE: 3 Parts Paint 1 Part Plaster of Paris Water to mix 310

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{ SHIFT+CONTROL } This was definitely an affordable, easy do it yourself project that displays beautifully!

Mix the Plaster of Paris with the water into a smooth paste. Mix well adding more water if needed to get to a silky smooth consistency. Add desired color of paint or paint colors. Mix well. Using sponge brushes I painted the pumpkins. I used three coats, letting them dry in between the first and second coats. After I applied the third coat, I sprinkled silver glitter onto them while it was still wet. I always love that extra sparkle! They were left to dry overnight. The following day, I sprayed them with a layer of acrylic paint sealer you can find in the craft store. This step isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t totally necessary but since I had it on hand I used it. I then arranged my flowers and mini pumpkins around the larger center pumpkin, until I finally found the positioning I liked. The colors I choose were perfect, and the glitter added that hint of sparkle in the right light! The flowers can be reused for Christmas decorations, as well. It can be displayed on a solid colored runner, placemat or charger. All in all, this beautiful piece was made in roughly an hour and a half plus overnight dry time. The price tag ? Right around $10.00! This was definitely an affordable, easy do it yourself project that displays beautifully! I hope you enjoyed reading my column, as I will be contributing a DIY project for each edition of Rochester Women Online! I cannot wait to share next monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s piece with you!

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CREATE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE BY LAND OR BY SEA

Carol Montevecchio Land& Sea Specialist Dream. Explore. Discover. 585-310-2220 Carol.Montevecchio@cruiseplanners.com • www.DreamEasyTravel.com www.facebook.com/cruiseplannerscarolmontevecchio FLST# 39068 • CST# 2034468-50 • HST# TAR-7058 • WAST# 603-399-504


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{ MORTGAGE TIPS WITH PHYLLIS } BY PHYLLIS HABERER

HOME FINANCING TRIVIA:

WHAT’S YOUR MORTGAGE IQ?

Each month, I meet with dozens of homebuyers interested in financing, and I am quite impressed with what some borrowers know about mortgages. I’m even more surprised by what some consumers don’t know! Being knowledgeable about home financing will definitely give you an advantage when shopping for a mortgage! How do you measure up? Take my short quiz to find out where you fall in the Mortgage IQ Spectrum! MORTGAGE QUIZ 1. What is the minimum down payment required for a mortgage? a) 20% b) 5% c) 3% d) 0%

2. Which mortgage program below is not insured by the federal government? a) VA Home Loan b) USDA c) Conventional d) FHA 3. A ________ is an individual or entity licensed by the New York Dept. of Financial Services to engage in the business of making residential mortgage loans: a) Mortgage Banker b) Licensed Real Estate Broker c) Mortgage Broker d) Mortgage Underwriter 4. Which county below is ineligible for a USDA Rural Housing financing? a) Livingston b) Monroe c) Wayne d) None of the Above 5. Which contributing factor to a consumer’s FICO credit score has the most impact?

a) Total Debt b) Length of Credit History c) On-Time Payment d) Variety of Past Credit Handled Well 6. How often can a homeowner refinance their current home? a) Once per year b) There is no limit c) Once per 6 months d) Once per 3 years 7. If a buyer makes just one extra mortgage payment per year (on a 30-year fixed-rate mortgage), by how much will it shorten the term if their loan? a) 1 year b) 2 years c) 5 years d) 10 years 8. Home Ownership has many benefits, including tax deductions. Which items below are tax deductible for home owners? (select all that apply) ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2018

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Being knowledgeable about home financing will definitely give you an advantage when shopping for a mortgage!

9. True or False: FHA Mortgages are available from any bank or mortgage lender. a) True b) False Let’s calculate your score! ANSWER KEY: d, c, a, d, c, b, d, b & c, b 0-3 Questions Correct: Mortgage Pupil – It looks like you could use some help. That’s OK! I am always here to answer your questions and give you the best guidance

I can. Give me a call today! 4-6 Questions Correct: Mortgage Student – Not bad! You did pretty well, but you could use a little assistance. Be sure to contact me if you are in the market for a home! 5-9 Questions Correct: Mortgage Scholar – Well done! I think you may be ready to buy a house. Call me today for a FREE Pre-Approval! When you’re ready to learn more about

securing a mortgage plan, call Phyllis Haberer at Premium Mortgage Corporation: 1 (585) 314-8511. You can also email her: phyllis@ premiummortgage.com Phyllis Haberer Senior Loan Officer | NMLS# 58078 2541 Monroe Avenue, Rochester, NY 14618 (585) 241-0000 NMLS #3254 Equal Housing Lender Licensed Mortgage Banker NYSDFS


{ SHIFT+CONTROL }

Autumn Find out why

is a great time to puchase a new home! At the end of the summer, the real estate industry gets a swift breath of life. And with only a couple short months before the snow hits, buyers had better be prepared to act fast. Start by giving me a call. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m happy to help safely guide you on this journey toward home ownership.

The Local Expert in Home Financing

Phyllis Haberer Senior Loan Officer | NMLS#58078

C: 585.314.8511 D: 585.363.7087 O: 585.241.0000 x104

Phyllis@PremiumMortgage.com

www.PremiumMortgage.com

PrmMtg

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2541 Monroe Ave. Rochester NY 14618 | Equal Housing Lender | Licensed Mortgage Banker NYSDFS | NMLS#3254 Premium Mortgage Corporation does not intend to solicit business away from other mortgage banking professionals. If you are currently working with another mortgage banking professional, this communication is not intended for you. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2018

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{ THE COUNSELING { {SHIFT+CONTROL DIVA’S REPORT MOVEMENT }} }

ORTHOREXIA BY NICOLE LAMBERT

ORTHOREXIA; IS THERE SUCH A THING AS BEING “TOO HEALTHY”? So what is it anyway? The term orthorexia refers to an obsession with eating foods that one considers to be healthy, and the avoidance of specific foods that one believes are harmful or unhealthy. It is marked by a self-punishing relationship with food.

at specific times, and you are working out sometimes multiple times per day. The end physical result being a kick ass body, but not many people are able to endure the mental and emotional strain that this puts on them. In addition, that “kick ass body” can become something that you want to have all year round but that simply isn’t possible, maintainable, nor is it healthy. In an attempt to preserve

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As with any mental health and eating disorders (to be specific), there are specific criteria/symptoms that present themselves. With orthorexia, here are some signs to look out for: • A fixation/obsession over the quality of food: this is often at the heart of orthorexia. Individuals fixate on the quality/purity of foods (how “clean” it is), and often limit foods to those that are organic, raw, whole, etc.

Even though the DSM V (The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) doesn’t recognize Orthorexia as an eating disorder (well not yet, anyway), it is something that deserves attention and deserves to be discussed. Over the last few years, it has gotten a significant amount of attention and is on the rise with our current society’s focus on “health”, “lifestyle”, “eating clean”, and “fitness”. Being part of the competitive bodybuilding world for a short time, I can most definitely understand how “eating clean” and “healthy” can turn into something much more serious for some individuals. While I learned so much about my diet, which foods to eat when, how much water to drink, etc., keeping track of that all felt like a part time job some days. Everything you eat is measured down to the ounce, you follow a specific meal plan, you eat

it can begin with a desire to start a specific diet, a just the wish to be healthier, or the pursuit of a specific lifestyle (body building, endurance training, wrestling, you get the idea).

• Inflexible eating patterns: rigidity in the type of food they consume. Foods that are labeled “bad” or “unhealthy” are avoided at all costs. They would rather eating nothing than something they have labeled “unhealthy”. Rigidity can also be found in the eating schedule the individual follows. They may believe that they can only eat at certain times and can become anxious if they stray from their schedule. that body, some individuals can go to extreme lengths to try and hold on to it. They become hyper focused on counting calories/macros, measuring their, parts of their body, etc. Of course orthorexia can occur in individuals outside of the body building world as well, I am just speaking from my own personal experience. In individuals,

• Emotional distress if “rules” are broken: straying from strict diet and exercise regimen can cause severe anxiety, panic, guilt, shame, and or depression. • Cutting out food groups. Common food groups that are eliminated are processed foods, sugar, meat, dairy, carbs, and or gluten • Worry about sickness or disease: often


{ THE COUNSELING { {SHIFT+CONTROL DIVAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S REPORT MOVEMENT }} } The term orthorexia refers to an obsession with eating foods that one considers to be healthy, and the avoidance of specific foods that one believes are harmful or unhealthy.

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{ THE COUNSELING MOVEMENT } A fixation/obsession over the quality of food: this is often at the heart of orthorexia.

refer to foods that are not “whole” or “clean” as poison. • Anxiety being around certain types of foods: they may feel the need to separate themselves from their “banned foods”. Being around these foods can be incredibly uncomfortable for them and they may even leave the situation. Isolating is a common avoidance technique for individuals struggling with orthorexia. They may skip social events where they may be forced to face “banned foods”, which can lead to depression and even more intensified distortion in thoughts and behaviors. • It is not always fueled by poor body image: it is not always fueled by obsessions with appearance or the desire to lose weight, but it is more rooted in the need to eat or be “healthy”. 320

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• Weight loss: in some cases weight loss is not intentional, but the restrictive nature of orthorexia can lead to weight loss and in severe cases, malnutrition. Other things to look out for: • Spending much of their day thinking about healthy food (to eat, prepare, etc.). This time spent thinking about food gets in the way of other responsibilities like work, family, relationships, etc. • Intense guilt eating “unhealthy” foods and feeling judgmental of others who eat those foods. • Sense of happiness/self-esteem/joy being dependent on the “rightness” of what they eat. • Wanting to not follow such a strict diet at special occasions, but can’t.

• Over time, the list of foods they aren’t “allowed” to eat has grown. • Loss of weight has led to malnutrition, skin issues, loss of menses, and or loss of hair. If you are someone you know may be struggling with this, don’t hesitate to reach out! While it is not a recognized disorder at this time, it is real. The symptoms, distorted thoughts, emotional distress is real. There are treatment options and supports out there. If you have questions or would like to know more about treatment options, please feel free to contact me directly at nicolelambert@ movementcounselingservices.com or (585) 257-0529 (confidential phone number and voicemail).


Do you Þnd that while you strive to be physically healthy and strong, your emotional and mental health is suffering? My aim is to help you Þnd a balance between your mind and body; to create a still mind for your active body. My name is Nicole Lambert. I am a: - Licensed Mental Health Counselor - Nationally CertiÞed Counselor I specialize in: - Body Image Issues - Emotional Eating - Weight Loss Goals & Maintenance - Self-Esteem - Depression - Anxiety - Athletes/Student Athletes - Those who are active/want to be more active

I work with: - Adolescents - Teens - Adults of all ages I also work with a wide range of individuals with other emotional or mental health challenges. What ever it is you are going through, don't hesitate to reach out. I’d love to learn more about you and I’m happy to help!

www.movementcounselingservicves.com

(585) 257-0529


{ WOMEN { {SHIFT+CONTROL DIVA’SLEADERSHIP REPORT } } }

10 SUCCESSFUL FUNDAMENTAL SKILLS BY BOBBIE GOHEEN

10 SUCCESSFUL F U N D A M E N TA L SKILLS OF WOMEN EXECUTIVES In today’s world much of leadership training is about understanding, engagement, and synthesizing the concepts of others to achieve the goals and needs of the customers.

areas to be addressed. This ability allows them to always be heard, understood, and followed. 3. LET GO TO GROW – this is a skill that is fundamental to the growth of any woman who moves to the executive level in a company. It is the ability to let go of the management of areas she once managed, to focus on “the what (result)” and not the “how” ( the process), to make sure there is a dashboard to monitor the right controls vs being controlling. Also, to

Many women leaders already come skilled and adept with listening, understanding and connecting skills. Given this truth and reality the skills women leaders need to practice are a bit different. And when they practice these skills, they soar.

2. ORGANIZED STORY TELLING – successful women leaders are prepared to communicate the key ideas and focus of the goals and vision. In addition, they are capable of responding in any moment the salient pieces of the goal, the background, the vision, and the 322

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5. HEART CENTERED VOICE – when the voice is in sync with the heart beat it moves, touches and inspires others. The ability to breathe deeply, especially in tense moments, and relax your voice so it is solid, centered, and resonant with your heart beat quickly captures the attention of others and gains their interest. This ability to center and speak from a place of calm and strength is integral to the success of women leaders. 6. FEAR MANAGEMENT – everyone has fear. Women leaders learn to understand their fears, define multiple options, set realistic goals, have a plan B, and know they will can handle whatever comes their way. They plan for the knowns so they are prepared for the unknowns. They know they will find a way, and it may not be perfect…. and it will work. They got this.

Below are a fe w fundamental skills necessary to be a woman executive in today’s world: 1. OBJECTIVITY – the ability to stay focused on the objective, result and outcome in any conversation is crucial. Effective women leaders maintain poise and inspired communication regardless of the feeling or treatment of others. Staying calm, objective, and centered is allows women leaders to navigate through a myriad of situations with clarity, confidence, and effectiveness.

and strong performance. This practice of learning, applying, and strong performance while building great team work along the way are crucial and necessary each stage of their career. As an executive the ability to be in sync with the world or ahead of the curve requires the ability to dedicate oneself to continual learning… in all venues.

know others will make mistakes which they will develop and grow from those errors. They let go so others can grow. Effective women leaders keep the drum beat on the vision, results, and deadlines. This shift/focus allows them to lead large initiatives and organizations to achieve positive changes for all. 4. BE SMART – when we see women move to executive roles they have a background of consistent success built on learning, applying,

7. MANAGING THE OLD AND NEW – the ability to understand where “the tried and true” are necessary and when to adapt and blend “the fresh and new” are a hallmark of successful women leaders. The world is changing all around us all the time and to know when to release the old for the new is integral to the success of any leader in today’s world. 8. THE RIGHT WAY VS THE BEST WAY - the ability to read a situation quickly and see


{ WOMEN { {SHIFT+CONTROL DIVAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;SLEADERSHIP REPORT } } } Many women leaders already come skilled and adept with listening, understanding and connecting skills. Given this truth and reality the skills women leaders need to practice are a bit different. And when they practice these skills, they soar.

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{ WOMEN LEADERSHIP } Leadership and executive management are not easy work and it is rewarding work for the consistent hard work and effort you put in.

what is holding the progress back is one of the most important skills a leader can have. The capacity to help others let go of the perceived “right way” for the ‘best way” is a gift of influence and communication necessary to create positive and forward focused objectives. 9. ENGAGED FEEDBACK – when you are in a senior leadership role and/or on your way to it, the most important skill a woman leader must develop is the ability to get and give feedback. There is an art and science to giving feedback, that takes leadership development and coaching. In addition, the ability to gain feedback from others without getting defensive is and will always be the secret to a leader’s success. This is perhaps the hardest trait for many. Most women leaders have good intentions and are trying their best. Yet in leadership you have to be willing to hone your skills to be the best for the people and the situation. This capacity to listen with understanding and focused leadership communications is the foundation to executive leadership and strategic decision making. 10. RESPONSIBILITY – leaders are individuals who understand they are their own sovereign nation. This means they have attained the emotional and intellectual maturity that they choose who they are in the world and how they are in the world. They don’t place blame on others or themselves. They take responsibility for their wins and failures. They see failures as lesson learned and they look to improve their skills going forward. This sense 324

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of personal empowerment is what separates them from others and ultimately why others follow this kind of leader. Additional practices are understanding emotions of self and others for uncommon outcomes, staying centered in all scenarios, bold vision and

actions to support positive growth, empowerment to grow great talent around you, managing media to support your vision, multi-scenario planning, self-care for strength in leadership, living and leading in alignment with your core values, maintain a strong center for growing and adapting with the needs of the world, and staying in your nature, authenticity, and femininity as you move through a competitive world.

If you wish to lead and be an executive you can do it. Apply the practices and skills from above. Create a baseline and measure your improvements. Leadership and executive management are not easy work and it is rewarding work for the consistent hard work and effort you put in. To lead means you want to make a difference, can bring others together to achieve a great goal, and believe in yourself and others to find a way to make it happen with people becoming better and stronger together through their efforts. Women leaders who excel at this in today’s world are Mary Barra, Regina Dugan, Ursula Burns, Indra Nooyi, Christine Lagarde, Bridget Shumway, Patricia Larrabee, Anne Zimmer, Amy Castronova, Dawn VanDamme, Reenie Feingold, Mona Samaan, Dawn Aprile, Rachel McCooey, Melissa Geska, Andrea Fitzgerald, Kathie Cahill, Kathy Palokoff, Diane O’mara, Donita Anderson, Haley Locey, Emma Visnic, Pamela Heald, Leslie Mauro, Laurie Broccolo, Gayle DeRose, Libby DiMarco, Whitney Baniewicz, Sitima Fowler, Robin Flaherty, Diana Augsperger, Moira Moldenhaeur, Jill Knittle, Nicole Savage, Debbie Bastow, Autumn Wyda, Nicole Mahoney, Karen Zandi, Joyce Schwob, Joyce DeLong, Catherine Pera, Michelle Ashby, Mary Wynne, Amy Christieson, Lynne Bona, Lynn Siegel, Donna Scalfaro, Heather Rowland, Teresa Bianchi, Josephine Greco, Beverly Foit – Albert, Maria Cristalli, Kimberly Slusser, Laura Loomis, Lori Drescher, Mary Lou Lunt, and many more.


“Bobbie is the first person I go to when I need clarity in making a difficult business decision. She listens to the factors complicating the decision process, makes sure that all aspects of the situation have been fully considered, and challenges me to find the truth inside myself that is preventing me from seeing the correct path forward. At the end of the discussion, I have more than advice about what to do - I have certainty that I am making the right decision for the right reasons.”

Anne Zimmer, CEO Black Button Distillery

Fusion Leadership For people making a path not following one.

“I am always amazed at Bobbie's ability to take abstract business discussions and then verbally package into concise clear objectives that can be implemented. Great personality and integrity is obvious to anyone that meets her, but take a few minutes and find out what she can do for your business and you will also be amazed at the depth of her experience and advice.”

Laurie Broccolo, Environmental Landscape consultant at Broccolo LEEDS

“A Fusion forum is a pool of talent and experience, of

camaraderie and brutal honesty, of integrity and friendship. It is a place to learn, teach and share, to empathize, challenge and push.” Tony Harris, CEO E&I Electronics & Innovation n


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{ CRAZY, FIT MAMA }

THE BOOBIE BLUES BY TRACY ECHEVERRI

With October being Breast Care Awareness Month I wanted to discuss boobs! I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to talk about breast feeding and how it is such a big part of being a mom. Being the mother of a hungry 3-month-old- I have been through quite a journey feeding my baby. No one talks about breastfeeding really and what goes on and what goes wrong, so I am here to do it! Straight up-the nitty gritty shitty reality. You have the baby and you just throw her on your boob and she eats right? Everyone produces milk-there’s never issues. Seems pretty simple. Well it is anything but that. Some women can produce some can’t. Some can produce only a little and not enoughwhen some over produce. To get into specifics about my experience with this- I hope this helps anyone out there feeling alone. These are hard times, but you will suffice! So let’s get to some facts and I’ll tell you how my story is going so far.. Babies need to latch on to your breast a specific way for her to extract milk. She has to open her mouth in a way that she will get on to your nipple correctly and you have to watch for their throat to swallow and listen for the sounds to make sure they are eating. If the baby does not latch properly onto your breast, she will be unable to get any milk or not enough and will keep losing weight. She can suckle on the nipple and get nothing from it if not done properly. No one ever told me about this. I don’t think anyone talks about breastfeeding and how hard it is, how painful it can be and how defeating it can make you feel. When I had my daughter Mina-I was set on just breastfeeding. I wasn’t planning on pumping or using any formula; I wanted to do it the good old-fashioned way. I did however get a free breast pump by utilizing my insurance before the baby was born just in case I may need it. Wow was I in for a wakeup call. Immediately I started breastfeeding right after Mina was born. I just put her mouth to my breast and

I thought it was fine, the milk should just come out I would think. It is not that simple. Right after your baby is born you have very little milk in your breast and it is a special type of milk called Colostrum. It has a high concentration of nutrients for the baby but there is also very little of it. The baby is getting tiny quantities of this milk, but the baby will eat often trying to get as much as possible. Once again this was something I was taught at the hospital and had no idea about it. To get back to my story- the lactation consultant came in a few hours after Mina’s birth to go over how to breast feed. Me-I was thinkingHow hard can it be? I didn’t think I needed a consultant, but they came anyways since it was mandatory. The woman asked me to show her how I get the baby to “latch on.” This is a term you will hear a lot after having a child while breastfeeding. So, I try to get her to “latch on” and she does and then the consultant told me she wasn’t on properly and then had me taking her on and off my breast to show what it looked like when it was done correctly and incorrectly. Right off the bat I felt ashamed that I thought I knew what I was doing. It didn’t take long for me to see when she was on my breast properly, but you feel fearful at first that you won’t know if you’re doing it the right way and they are actually eating enough. You also feel embarrassed that you can’t nurse your baby without help or that was my initial reaction. The drama didn’t end there. A few days after the baby is born, you have to take them to a pediatrician to be checked out and to have a physical sort of speak. The first thing the nurse said to me was my daughter looked skinny and asked if I was starving her. I was horrified by this comment which I guess was a joke because she weighed a little less than normal and then she asked me if I was giving her enough formula. I responded that I was only breastfeeding and that my milk hadn’t come in yet or that I was not sure. She then told me to feed her formula. Again, you have the “first milk” (Colostrum)

the first couple days after the child is born and then your real milk will come in following that. Sometimes it takes a longer time for women especially if their kids are premature or their milk may never come. I was feeding her anytime she was hungry and when she fell asleep we stopped breast feeding. I thought I was doing the right thing and that everything seemed to be going great. And it was the nurse that made me feel otherwise. I became an emotional wreck and was crying after the nurse exited and when the pediatrician arrived I was in tears thinking I am hurting my child. The pediatrician looked concerned about my well being saying I should be less stressed, and I reacted saying “I was not stressed until I came here and was told I am starving my baby.” I was really angry because my husband and I were doing very well at home and the baby seemed happy and wasn’t crying a lot and would eat, sleep and repeat and things seemed ok or normal. Overall, she recommended formula till my milk came in although I said I was exclusively breastfeeding and told us to get a jaundice test because she was a little underweight and yellow in color. Long story short-we did the test and she was fine and just needed some vitamin d drops. I also did not agree with formula, so I called the hospital where I delivered. They asked me if I had tried pumping out my milk and I said I never even thought of trying. The pediatrician did not recommend it and that bothered me. After that call, I went home and tried pumping and milk came out. The hospital said to breastfeed her and then supplement with a bottle after with breast milk to make sure she was getting enough food. When children are jaundice (which is super common in newborns) they struggle to extract milk from the breast. Furthermore, they become yellowish in color and lose more weight because it is harder for them to eat. They burn more calories than they can consume so by breastfeeding and then giving them additional milk by bottle they will be just fine.


No one talks about breastfeeding really and what goes on and what goes wrong, so I am here to do it! Straight up-the nitty gritty shitty reality.


{ CRAZY, FIT MAMA } Google saved my life because I saw how many women dealt with the same thing. Any issue or question I had, I googled it and found answers. Not everything can be figured out on the internet, but I would say a good amount can without involving a doctor and put you at ease.

That small battle was defeated and then the next crisis was about to hit. My nipples were destroyed. I was feeding Mina constantly and I was in excruciating pain. They were bleeding, cracked and sliced open. My toes would cringe every time I would nurse her and be in tears trying to stay calm. I was dreading every time I had to breast-feed her when it was supposed to be this special beautiful time-or at least that is how all the Instagram photos look like-right? Wrong again!! After a couple weeks I went to a lactation consultant because I could not handle the pain anymore but did not want to give up and just singularly feed her by the bottle. I sought that intimate time with my baby and I felt it was special and important to continue doing it. The lactation consultant showed me different breastfeeding positions that could be more comfortable such as a “football hold” and also gave me a nipple shield that is placed over the nipple to put a thin barrier in between the baby and the breast. I needed to mend so it was difficult or practically impossible when you are constantly nursing. The healing process just takes time. I bought breast ice packs and also a nipple balm. One person says yes to the balmanother says it could clog up your milk ducts. Everything is a constant fight. I also was advised to pump and bottle feed more to give my breasts a rest, so I did that as well. Still breastfeeding daily but trying to break it up. They had me at one point pumping every two hours which was insane and even throughout the night, so I was a complete shit show. I did that for a very short time and said I needed sleep more and that was just crazy talk. Not to mention pain that came from pumping now. My regiment was a hot compress on my breasts 330

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before pumping to help release the milk and then icing my nipples and breasts after because they were so sore. Although pumping can be less painful it still hurts. Nothing feels good really. It takes time to adjust to these things and by adjusting, I mean being able to manage the pain and discomfort constantly and not lose your shit! You are pushing your body parts

to the limit and forcing them to handle unlimited pain. At one point I was pumping so much I pumped blood. Now I am pumping and feeding by bottle. Breastfeeding was always a tough gig for me and Mina struggled to stay latched on for long enough. So, I was breast feeding then supplementing with a bottle finishing off with pumping, so my supply was high. I was told

using the nipple shield also could affect how much milk the baby can take from the breast so pumping following a feeding was crucial. It was a huge ordeal and I decided enough is enough and a few week ago I gave up nursing her and am solely feeding breast milk by bottle. I am not saying I won’t breastfeed her again but right now this works best. Google saved my life because I saw how many women dealt with the same thing. Any issue or question I had, I googled it and found answers. Not everything can be figured out on the internet, but I would say a good amount can without involving a doctor and put you at ease. I think there is a massive stigma with motherhood. You are supposed to “just know” or have that “motherly instinct” about everything, which is not the case. Yes, I have the love of a mother and wanting to be close and take care of my child, but I am not all knowing. No one is. What I think happens is we are scared to ask, and we are afraid to share our problems and issues. Instead of women embracing each other and helping one another in this extreme mental and physical time of need-we attack each other and then of course the judgement overflows. Why can’t we be open and honest with each other? Why can’t we be there for one another in these tough times. Being a mother is the best gift I have been given in this world and I would not take back any minute of it. It is crazy to think all of these things happened in under three months following this little girl being born. To all you Moms out there-you are tough as nails-don’t forget that. Never give up and remember you know what’s best for your little one and what is paramount for you! Take care of yourself!! Tracy~


{ DREAMBUILDER }

THE DREAMBUILDER PROGRAM BY SHAUNA MARR

I’ve had a burning question inside of me about how this life works as far back as I can remember. In college I thought the best thing for me to do was get a biology degree, and that the answers I was searching for must be there. I followed this path as it easily opened up for me to become a research scientist in immunology. While I was working on my Master’s degree my Dad’s older sister came to me after her diagnosis with cancer hoping I could provide some answers. Having to look her in t h e e ye s a n d tell her that we knew very little about reversing the disease, reignited a powerful desire in me to begin asking the questions about how we become healthy beings. Holding this question led me to meeting other people who were on this same journey of discovery with me and that brought me to life coaching. The foundation of transformational life coaching is that all the answers we are seeking are actually found 332

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inside of us and not somewhere outside. This was a revolutionary concept to me and I was lucky to find people to be my guides on this journey of the inner landscape here in Rochester where I discovered my own gifts for listening deeply and guiding others. In my search I came

experiencing in the months leading up to her diagnosis. Having lived to tell her story she began her quest to understand and then teach the concepts that everything is created twice, first in thought then in form. This awareness transformed my re a l i t y. If we know that before anything becomes manifest in our current reality we must actively create it in our thoughts. Having this information makes it very important to become aware of what we put our attention on, if we would like it to come into our reality or not.

across the story of a woman name Mary Morrissey who had overcome a life threatening kidney disease when someone who identified themselves as a chaplin the night before a major surgery asked her to keep a corner her mind open to the possibility that the toxins in her body were linked to the toxic thinking she had been

The Dream-Builder Program is a 12week step by step proven process built on these concepts to shift our thinking from the reality of our circumstances into the new thinking patterns of the life we would love living. I’ve used these principles in my own life and I’m so excited to offer these powerful tools to anyone seeking to live a fuller, freer and more expanded life.


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{ ROCVOX }

WHY PODCAST? BY SCOTT W. FITZGERALD

First of all, why not? But seriously, in my last article, I gave a little background and some definitions. Just as a recap, Podcasting is big now, but it is not new. My first encounter with podcasting happened around 14 years ago – and it was primitive as all heck. Today, it is easier than trying to figure out how to do anything on Facebook after they go in and change things (you know what I’m talking about). Podcasting is an audio newsletter. That’s the best way for me to explain how it can be used to your advantage. It takes skill to write in such a way that your personality comes out without losing sight of the subject. Not everyone can do that effectively! Imagine pressing a button, talking – and then pressing a few more buttons and keys – and POW – your words have been sent to everyone and those words are coming from your mouth! I know, I know…I’ve heard it all before. “I can’t do that! I clam up when I get in front of a microphone!” HOGWASH! OK, I will admit that some people have difficulties with it, but that doesn’t mean you can never do it. It just takes practice. Employees, current customers and future clients are more likely to listen to a recording of your voice than they are to read a lengthy newsletter. OK, How? I’m so glad I asked! First, figure out what you want to say. I suggest 10-20 minutes of content AT THE MOST! If you can get away with a 5 minute podcast, do it! Attention spans are waning, so you don’t want to lose your audience because you are blathering on too long. Next, find a podcast studio in your area. (Hint, there is only one) Then, sign up on any of the many podcast hosting platforms. Spreaker, Podomatic, Blubrry, etc. What 334

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about iTunes? Yes, you will end up there, but that is not where you must start. The above platforms will deliver to the listener via iTunes (and others), but you have to host your audio file and pertinent information on a platform like Spreaker. Now, it is time to go over to that amazing podcast studio (in Bushnell’s Basin, NY) and pay the handsome man a small fee to record your podcast. If you’re a tech savvy person, you can do it all yourself with your own laptop! (Sales pitch, ahem ahem).

Now that you have it recorded and posted to your favorite platform, you can easily copy and paste the information into your email news letter to let your followers know about it. It is simple to copy and paste the links to your social media pages as well. In many cases, you can set up the platform to auto-share, so when your podcast goes up, it automatically generates links and posts them to your social pages! You can’t beat that with a stick. Learning and Organizational Development If you’re a medium to large business owner or executive, you can appreciate the value of an informed workforce. Back when I started

out, this was called corporate training. Nowa-days, it’s called L&OD or OD – it might change names before we finished with this article, but the idea remains the same. There are many ways to train/inform your employees. For the purposes of this article, I am not talking about technical training as much as I am talking about the Human Resources angle. Imagine that your company is about to roll out a new health care plan or profit-sharing program. You could produce a series of podcasts that can help walk your employees through the process at very little cost. This is vastly different than the price of putting together a workshop or producing videos. Admittedly, there are some things people need to see or do firsthand, with an instructor. But, there are many ways a podcast can be effective. 1. It’s cheap to produce (A few hundred as opposed to thousands of dollars) 2. It’s easily mobile. Nearly all of your employees have a smart phone or media player. Your training podcasts can be listened to in the car or while on the jogging path or treadmill. If people want to learn, they can learn easily with a podcast. Statistics have shown that the easier information is to obtain, the more likely people will seek it out. Now, all you have to do is combine information and entertainment! OK, so that one is not as easy to do – but there are knowledgeable people who can help you with that! (Sales pitch, ahem…ahem) Scott W. Fitzgerald is a professional broadcaster and owner of ROC Vox Recording & Production, LLC. Rochester’s only podcast studio.


{ INTRODUCING ROCVOX }

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Profile for Rochester Woman Online

RWO OCT-NOV 2018  

In this amazing edition of Rochester Woman Online, we are not only "thinking pink" for Breast Cancer Awareness, but we also have a huge spec...

RWO OCT-NOV 2018  

In this amazing edition of Rochester Woman Online, we are not only "thinking pink" for Breast Cancer Awareness, but we also have a huge spec...