On the cover of the last edition of 2022, we have Bethany Stevens, the reigning Mrs NY America, a wife, a mom, an entrepreneur, traveler, and so much more. Photos were taken by North Glow Photography in Rochester, NY at multiple locations including the Stevens home. Hair and makeup was provided by Salon Bella Vita in Pittsford NY.
As we come to the end of one year, and head into a new one, Rochester Woman Online would like to take a minute to wish all of our readers a very Happy Holiday and welcome in an incredible New Year! Hoping your holidays are filled with love, family, and happiness.
Please welcome our latest cover woman, Bethany Stevens. I couldn’t think of a better way to end 2022 then to be able to showcase a woman who is a wife, a mom, an multifaceted entrepreneur, a traveler and the current reigning Mrs. NY America,! Bethany inspires other women to know they can do it all and we are so lucky to have her sharing her story, and dishing some secrets to her success with us in the latest edition of RWO and you can read all about her starting on page [22].
Be ready for 2023 to bring some amazing changes with our platform, the online piublication, our content and more! You will still be able to read about the inpsiring women in our community and beyond, and we will still give you all of the great tips and information you have loved for so many years, but we will also be adding podcasts, seminars and coaching with experts and even an online directory! You won’t want to miss any part of it.
We hope you continue to enjoy all of the amazing articles and women we bring to you each month.
Know someone who would be perfect for a cover, a feature or a highlight? Do you have a business that is you want tot promote to an audience of over 100k? CONTACT ME TODAY at networkrocqueen@gmail.com.
“When you have a dream, you’ve got to grab it and never let go.”
Marisa Zeppieri
Kelly Breuer
North Glow Photography
L Shot Photography Christopher “Goodknews” Cardwell Murray Yaravitz
Julie Oldfield
Doug Mitchell Dr Pam Denton Tammy Vreeland Robin DeWind
Lisa Wagner Hal Stewart Joanne Ryan Denise “Karma” Clifford
Amy Bliss Beth Parry
Cindy DeCarolis
Angela McClarrie Bunce Christine Piacentino
Rumella Cameron Devan Robinson
Jessica L Koston
Alana Cahoon Ellen Feldman
Alicia Marie Loiacono
Evelyn Parker Dr Emily Maya McNulty
Monique Chatman Chris Jones
Teresa Galbier Lauri McKnight
Kelly Breuer
Network Rochester Network Rochester
Luke LaPorta Kameron Ashford Etiquette Styles Studio
Bethany Stevens Dawn Kellogg
Rochester Woman ONLINE is the premier professional woman’s online publication in the Greater Rochester area. Our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local area women. The electronic magazines are distributed freely through your favorite app store and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge. Please feel free to contact publisher Kelly Breuer at 585.727.9120 or you can email us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com Download our current media kit at www. rochesterwomanonline.com
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For the latest edition of Rochester Woman Online, we are pleased to be able to feature Bethany Stevens as our latest cover woman. She is a woman who truly wear many “crowns”. She is a wife, mother, entrepreneur, and the current reigning Mrs New York America.
We hope you enjoy our conversation with Bethany and a little glimpse of what it is like to be a modern day woman who can do it all.
Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who is Bethany Stevens?
Anyone that knows me would agree that I am “eclectic”. As a woman who wears many hats and serves in a variety of roles, I’ve always found it hard to pin down the “who are you?” question. As a wife, mom, entrepreneur, community service advocate, and travel lover you could bump into me about anywhere. At the core of who I am, I’m a seeker. I’m always looking for new ways to grow, push my boundaries, and leave the world a better place.
According to your family, you are a superwoman. You are a wife, a mother, a successful entrepreneur, and the reigning Mrs. NY America. How do you do it all?
PHOTOS BY NORTH GLOW PHOTOGRAPHY
The biggest lesson that I’ve learned in balancing different activities and priorities, is that you can choose to do it all... but you can’t do it all in one day. I found that setting bigger goals is helpful in defining where I put my energy. From there, I chip away one step at a time. Everything comes back to the “why” behind what
others in my community, I know that I am blessed with a unique set of gifts and believe it is my responsibility to steward them well, striving to leave each space better than I found it.
it’s easy to pour your heart and soul into your work.
I used to be highly achievement motivated. I believed that attaining certain levels of success with corporate jobs or degrees would define my worth or value. Over time, my motivators have shifted. What motivates me now stems from a desire for growth and betterment. Whether for myself or for
Tell us a little about how you decided to take on the Mrs NY America pageant, what your platform is, and what your plans are for the future Over time I went from giving congressional speeches and sitting at business masterminds to changing diapers and singing the ABCs. While my role as a mother may be the most challenging and rewarding one yet, I felt that I lost a sense of who I was when I chose to focus on raising my kids at home. Yoga clothes, messy hair, and a global pandemic all contributed to a newfound laid-back lifestyle that I can appreciate. At the same time, I lost the motivation and drive that had burned in me before. Entering a pageant was a wild investment in myself. Committing to showing up, serving in a meaningful capacity, and being my absolute best was the carrot I needed to kickstart new habits. My platform, Deserve to Dream was born out of this personal journey.
On my road to becoming who I am, I unraveled who I thought I should be by listening to my instincts about who I wanted to become. I found this process to be so powerful that it is now my goal to share and inspire others to do the same. Whether it’s pursuing a pageant, or starting the business that’s in the back of your mind, I hope to encourage others in taking steps towards the quiet dream that pulls on their heart. I believe we all deserve our dreams and to live a life we truly love.
Who are some of the strong women that you feel have inspired you?
I have countless mentors in my life to whom I am eternally grateful. Having examples of strong women who pursue their passions and share their unique talents in this world has been my biggest inspiration. My mother, for example, at the age of 50 pivoted from a career in academia to pursue a lifelong dream of becoming a pastry chef. Watching her dare to step into the unknown was a reminder of what life is meant to be. We may not have all the answers or every path mapped out ahead, but taking the risk is worth every reward.
What do you feel is the key to women empowering other women?
It can be easy to see empowerment as a gift bestowed on us. I believe, though, that empowerment is not something that comes from another;
and energy...to ensure that all who passionately define their dreams are capable of pursuing them.
What do you feel makes you a leader, especially within your role as the reigning Mrs NY America?
Having found myself in many roles as “leader”, I find that I prefer to call
myself a collaborator and integrator. I know that I can only do so much on my own and we are always better together. I understand my unique strengths and weaknesses, and I’m able to see the strength and gifts of others. My talent as a leader is my ability to see and bring out the gifts of others in a cohesive way. I provide the container in the structure to encourage others to shine. Perhaps my biggest struggle in this entire adventure is allowing myself to enjoy the spotlight.
Tell us about some of your goals and dreams for you personally and professionally. My personal and professional goals are currently centered around creating more freedom and adventure in our lives. With so much going on, it can be a challenge to create space for new ideas that are just below the surface. I work hard to give myself space and time to simply enjoy, and reflect on where I am in the current moment. Right now I am focused on serving to the best ability within the roles that I’ve been granted. I know that my year as a title holder is short, and it is my goal to have the greatest impact and the few months I have.
Share one quote that you feel defines you and your vision?
Life is too short to not do what you love. We never know the number of our days... it’s up to us to choose living fully each day. For so many
“I often feel like I’m the captain of the ship, chauffeuring people off in different directions and project managing the day-to-day schedules.”
“Life is too short to not do what you love. We never know the number of our days... it’s up to us to choose living fully each day.”
our hearts desire to do. If nothing else, I hope you’ll take this quote as an encouragement to reflect on what you love to do and what your life would look like if you chose to do more of it.
Name a female leader you look up to for mentorship and guidance.
One of my favorite yogis, Stephanie Campanelli, has been a true guiding mentor for me. As a student of hers for years, she was one of the first people
that I am capable. She reminded me to let go of my fears. I’m so grateful for the subtle nudges she has given me over the years to pursue myself.
If you could do one thing you have never done what would it be and why?
My husband would agree if I set my mind on doing something… chances are I’m going to make it happen. One thing that is calling to me lately is taking our kids back to Rwanda
open them to new perspectives, and to remind us all that there are many ways of living life. It’s up to us to find beauty in our days.
How do you balance the hectic life of being a female entrepreneur and being a pageant queen with being a mom and a wife?
Making time for me is the pinnacle of finding balance in our home. I often feel like I’m the captain of the ship, chauffeuring people off in different
directions and project managing the day-to-day schedules. To be mindful of everyone’s individual and collective priorities, I know that I need to make time for myself. It’s not always easy, but on the days when you feel like you simply don’t have time for yourself, that is the day you need the time and space more than ever. In this way, I hope that I am acting as a model for my children in that I do not need to be a martyr and sacrifice my own desires for the desires of others. It truly takes a team. All of us coming together, respecting one another, and working collaboratively to support each other’s desires.
What is one piece of advice you have been given that you have never forgotten ? If you’re scared, do it anyway. My husband has taught me that there are no great rewards in life without great risks. He’s encouraged me to stretch my boundaries and my comfort zone. It is in the times when everything felt so terrifying and unknown that we’ve made the greatest leaps forward in our lives. Trust remains at the core for us. When you trust that you are safe and loved, you can be brave enough to face the scary things in life together.
If you could meet any person in history who would it be and why? I would love the opportunity to meet
Susan B Anthony - a leader of the women’s suffrage movement and iconopen to my eyes to a literal world of possibility. Travel has changed me. It has reminded me that though we may live vastly different lives and have differing priorities or values, we are all human beings worthy of appreciation and respect.
How do you continue to constantly grow both personally and professionally? What have been some things that have worked well for you, and some that have not. I believe that learning is never-ending! Some of my greatest life lessons have come from the tiniest people in my life, my children. There are opportunities to learn and grow every day, and I try my best to embrace them off. I love a good podcast or book and am a self-proclaimed public television nerd. No matter your interests, finding ways to continue learning while building new skills and knowledge is so important to live a fulfilling life.
One of the most important risks I’ve ever taken was choosing to move to New Zealand for a study abroad and teaching opportunity. How I managed to choose one of the furthest points away from home for my first time traveling abroad, I’m still not entirely sure! Taking that risk, however,
I am sure you were excited and overwhelmed to take on this new position. What have you found to be challenging? What do you feel you have been successful at?
What a dream come true! Perhaps the most overwhelming part of the experience involved prepping for the national competition shortly after
“Over time, my motivators have shifted. What motivates me now stems from a desire for growth and betterment.”
“At the core of who I am, I’m a seeker. I’m always looking for new ways to grow, push my boundaries, and leave the world a better place.”
big win for us, is the successful return of the Empowering Women’s Luncheon – we were able to bring more than 800 people together to celebrate and honor the women who serve as activists and allies in this movement to eliminate racism and empower women.”
winning the title of Mrs. New York. Being new to the Pageant world, I had a bit of a learning curve to overcome. Through it all, I am so grateful for the incredible support system that has been our New York team. Together we’ve been able to create some magical moments and it has allowed me to enjoy the process as it unfolds. I look forward to partnering with more initiatives across New York and highlighting the hard-working, generous, and committed organizations that work tirelessly to improve our great state.
What is your vision for the future? Where do you see yourself in the next 3 years? What about 5 years? Daydreaming is one of my favorite activities! I don’t always know what’s next on the horizon, but I am always up for an adventure. We have a family goal to relocate to Europe for a year and I would love to be in an area that is easily accessible by rail. Relocating abroad in the next few years is our way of exposing our children to different languages, cultures, values, and priorities.
Would you say that you are a good role model for your children and for others? What makes you a good role model.
I believe we are on the edge of a new paradigm for women and mothers in particular. For the longest time, a good mother has been a martyr, someone who sacrifices for the sake of
others’ needs and well-being. Today, I think the role of a mother is to be a model. Taking the time to fill up your cup, to do the things that make you you outside of all the roles that you assume. I hope that I am being a good model to my children by chasing after my dreams and being an example of what is possible with perseverance.
ourselves and that image. Being brave enough to trailblaze a new idea or take on a new identity can be bold and terrifying. To feel truly empowered and up to the task of entrepreneurship, women have to find their voice, their power, and their confidence. Thankfully, there are so many resources out there today dedicated to this cause. Finding a great mentor or cheerleading team that can support you mentally is integral to taking the first steps.
If you could give your younger self one piece of advice what would that be?
Dream bigger. As kids, we think that the world is full of endless opportunities. We write down all the things we dream of being when we grow up. An astronaut, a veterinarian, a teacher… then somewhere along the way, we are told that we have to choose. And that many of our choices are impractical or impossible. What I’ve learned in my life is that some people choose to ignore when they are told no. And those people are the ones that have created amazing and innovative things in this world. You’re never too young or too old to dream big. I hope to inspire others to choose their big dreams.
What do you think is the biggest problem facing young entrepreneurs, especially females today? Confidence. Many women, myself included, downplay our many talents and skills. We’ve seen the way the traditional world of success has worked in the past and we don’t always see
With the current negative media attention about pageantry, what advice would you give someone on the fence about competing?
Being new to the pageant world, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. What I found, however, is that
“A
imagined. Beauty can be expressed in so many different forms. Pageantry is about sharing your unique beauty to the world. It’s about shining light on the gifts that you’ve been given and the opportunities that you’ve cultivated. It’s less about the big hair, makeup, and fancy dresses as it is about the sisterhood of supporting and uplifting one another to be your best. I am truly honored and humbled to stand in this role. When you meet a woman in a pageant, know that you are in the presence of someone truly powerful. It takes so much courage to put yourself out there in this way, and every single person who graces
Social media is a funny thing. It can be used to help us connect, or it can be used as an escape from reality. I find that I have to play by my own rules on social media platforms in order to keep it authentic. I cannot pretend to be anyone other than me. Lately, I’ve had so much fun with reels and finding creative ways to express the day-to-day happenings in my life.
Tell our audience something people may not know about you?
for my husband to enjoys cooking for our family...and so are our kids who quickly tire of my boxed mac n cheese game.
Where will we see you next?
I’ve made so many wonderful connections across the state and am so grateful for the many opportunities to volunteer my time and energy in this role. Follow along on my social media accounts @2022MrsNYAmerica to stay up to date or reach out to me on my website www.BethanyStevens. com to coordinate any collaboration opportunities. I can’t wait to connect!
“I found that setting bigger goals is helpful in defining where I put my energy. From there, I chip away one step at a time.”
BY NICOLE HEROUX WILLIAMS I PHOTOS BY NSP STUDIO
Please tell us a little bit about yourself and your background.
Hi! My name is Madison DeLuca. I am 26 years old and from Livonia, Michigan. I come from a very close family- 2 sisters and 1 brother. We are very much dog lovers and look forward to our Florida family vacation every year.
I come from a skating family, growing up as a competitive skater, with my older sister who also competed. My brother also being a skater, played hockey up until 2019, where he finished playing in the USHL.
I am a principle skater, portraying the role of Moana. I have now started my 9th year with Disney On Ice this October.
How did you become a part of Disney On Ice?
I became part of the Disney On Ice family in August of 2014. Being a competitive skater my whole life, once it became time to graduate high school, I was unsure of what I wanted to do next. I still wanted to keep skating, but not compete. I had reached my goals in competitive skating and was happy to close that chapter. I wasn’t sold on college just yet, so I decided to send in an audition tape. Shortly after, I heard back and was soon starting rehearsals in Florida. Nine years later, I am still enjoying every bit of it.
Who is one person that inspires you and why?
Picking one person who inspires me is a bit tricky. I have to say, my parents both inspire me each and every day. From my childhood to now, they have
done an absolute incredible amount and have been and continue to be the best examples for myself and my siblings. Being the most selfless, strong, giving, loving individuals- I aspire to be one day, what they have been to me.
What is your favorite thing about being a part of Disney on Ice?
places is such a bonus. I’ve seen several wonderful places that I never thought I would travel to.
What are some of the challenges you face with your role in Finding Your Hero?
I for sure have a few favorite things about being part of Disney On Ice. First, the performing. To be able to continue
When you enjoy your job and your role so much, it’s hard to actually say there are challenges you face. Challenges always help you grow and I feel that setting goals may be challenging sometimes but when you reach those goals, it’s such a rewarding feeling that makes you a stronger performer.
What does being a part of this family oriented organization mean to you?
Being a part of this Family, means a lot to me. I have been a part of the Family for 9 years now. It means a lot to me as its allowed me to continue skating past my competitive years and take a new path with performing, allowing me to take what I learned with competitive skating and put it towards my performing career and grow in new ways as a performer.
doing what I love and skate everyday, it has allowed me to grow so much as a performer. To portray many different roles, do several ensemble numbers that are so fun, such high energy, its so wonderful and rewarding. Another one of my favorite things is definitely having my family come and see me in the show. Knowing they are out there in the audience, always being my biggest fans, it’s so very special to me. Lastly, another favorite is the travel. To be able to skate and also travel to many amazing
Where is the best place you have ever performed while on tour and why?
I definitely have a few places that are top on my list, but if I had to choose the best one, I would pick South Africa. First, I never thought I would make it to South Africa, and have had the chance to twice now! To then add performing there too, makes it extra rewarding. They absolutely love the show there and to top it off, you’ll meet some of the nicest people. I would love to go back one day.
What is the most rewarding part of this journey?
The most rewarding part of this journey, is seeing all the kids dressed up, smiling, singing and dancing along. Knowing that your hard work, as well as many others, all came together to bring the show to life and make kids dreams. One of my favorite times to perform is on Christmas. Seeing the kids faces just light up, knowing it may be their Christmas present, is so very special. It defiantly puts a smile on my face.
Who has been the most fun to work with?
While on tour, you meet so many people. It could be for the whole tour, or some may come just for a few weeks and it will be several different people, so it’s hard to pick just one person. Each co-worker makes the work place, they all have their own personalities and traits, that when everyone is together, it makes the Family. It is so wonderful to meet so many people from all over the world, create these friendships and be able to work together.
Tell us about your biggest accomplishment in your career to date?
I feel I have a few big accomplishments in my career that I am quite thankful for. First, the role I portray. I worked very hard to get where I am, and it took a few years for me to start portraying a role, so to have a role I get to portray each day is very special to me. Secondly, all the opportunities I have had. They have all helped me grow in so many different ways and helped me get to the place I am at today. Lastly, pairs skating. When I came to tour, I had never done any pairs before and didn’t
think I would ever. Now, today, I do a few different pair roles and enjoy it very much.
What is something that is a must have while on tour?
Being a big coffee lover, a must have on tour is for sure my Nespresso machine. Yes, I travel one! It is a very good investment with the amount of coffee I drink. Knowing each morning, I can wake up and make a latte, defiantly makes the morning easier. If you like coffee, I highly recommend.
What is your daily routine when preparing for the show?
To start, coffee! Once I have my morning coffee, I am ready to start preparing. If it is Opening Day, there’s a few extra things to do before preparing for the show. We warm-up, skate, unpack our costumes, and make sure everything is ready to go. I then will start my makeup and braid my hair. Once it comes time for the show, I will then warm-up again to make sure I am extra ready for the show!
What is your favorite form of social media and why?
Instagram for sure! I am not a huge social media person in general but defiantly would pick Instagram as my favorite. I just love to scroll through pictures especially as a way to keep in touch and see my friends and family at home. Its always a plus when you see pictures from each show posted as well!
What is your favorite moment with a fan?
My favorite moment with a fan defiantly has to be from this summer. While
playing South America, the crowds were amazing! It was one show during finale, and out of nowhere I was being hugged by a little girl. She had come up onto the pod where I was standing. She for sure didn’t second guess herself and knew exactly what she wanted. It was the tightest hug I have ever received, it was like she didn’t want to let go. Things like this usually do not happen so as it was quite the surprise, it was also a very cute moment.
What is your favorite Disney movie? My favorite Disney movie is for sure Beauty and the Beast!
How long are you on tour during the year?
Each tour has different schedules. Some tours may be 8 months, some may be 5 months. It all depends on the schedule of each tour. This year, my show, Disney On Ice presents Find Your Hero, will be on tour from October until the end of April! We get to tour around the United States, and even Canada!
What is one thing most people don’t know about you?
Most people may not know that I love doing nails. When I was younger, I would always give my friends and family manicures and add little designs to them. It is something I enjoy doing but haven’t been able to do a lot lately. I also LOVE Christmas. It is my favorite holiday. Being able to give and buy presents for all of my friends and family is something I love to do, along with all the Family time. Having everyone together celebrating is one of my favorite things.
“The most rewarding part of this journey, is seeing all the kids dressed up, smiling, singing and dancing along. Knowing that your hard work, as well as many others, all came together to bring the show to life and make kids dreams.”
“There are certain mortal moments and minutes that matter. Certain hinge points in history of each human. Some seconds are so decisive they shrink the soul while others are spent, so as to stretch the soul”
Neal A. MaxwellThe power of a single minute… Neal Maxwell captured it best in this quote… a single minute can shrink or stretch one’s soul. Today more than any other time in history, life is moving at an unprecedented speed, partially because we can both receive and send information instantaneously. We find ourselves in a constant state of stimulation both mentally and emotionally. As a result, days and weeks become a blur and precious time seems to dissipate as part of daily distractions. At Ronald McDonald House Charities we know firsthand the healing power a family member will have for a child who is born critically ill or becomes critically ill or injured. Having someone they love, and trust be part of their daily care team enhances outcomes, speeds recovery and shortens length of stay. For these children, the importance of each minute that a family member can be at the bedside cannot be overstated.
When a family is blessed with a healthy child, milestones are counted by days, weeks, then months then years. But when a child is born or becomes critically ill or injured, milestones may be counted in minutes. At Ronald McDonald House Charities Rochester, we know that in those moments families need someone
that can help them navigate simple logistics so that their energy can be preserved and focused on their child’s care and recovery.
RMHC Rochester is part of a Global mission with 837 chapters located in 65 states; 176 in the US, 5 in New York State, and we are so fortunate to have one right here in Rochester. All
patient center approach. As our healthcare partners are focused on providing state of the art pediatric care, we are focused on providing programs and services in support of the family through our Westmoreland House, House Within the Hospital at Strong Memorial Hospital. We also have RMHCR Family Rooms located at Unity Hospital, Golisano Children’s Hospital and the first in the nation Mental Health and Wellness Hospital at Strong Memorial Hospital.
Through these programs and services, we help families to navigate times of great stress and uncertainty, and for some the unthinkable. Every day, we witness the incredible strength of the families in our care. We provide a home away from home, a safe haven, to get some real rest, a quick shower, a good meal and a chance to recharge and regain the energy needed to be the very best support for their child. We address logistical challenges and eliminate distractions so their precious energy and most importantly their precious time remains close and focused on their child.
committed to serving one mission… ‘Keeping Families Close”. We care for the family, while our Healthcare partners care for their child. We are so fortunate to partner with both URMC and Rochester Regional Health. Through this partnership, we surround the family with a comprehensive
For a family in crisis…. time can feel like it is standing still or spinning out of control. Life as they once knew it changed in an instant and in these instances, it’s about getting through the next moment… focusing on breathing and taking the next step as they process a devastating diagnosis or unimaginable news.
RMHCR is proud to provide supportive services that meet daily needs, but we are so much than just a
good night’s sleep, the home cooked meal, transportation, a place to do laundry or get a warm shower; while those things are essential, we know that the most important thing we can provide is time with their child and that it is the minutes with their child that matters most. This is a realization that came early on in my tenure here at RMHCR. Meeting one of the moms who shared her courageous journey with me was life changing.
At her 12-week prenatal checkup they found out that they were having a girl, with two big brothers at home
this joyful news would complete their family. But moments after receiving this news the sonogram also revealed devastating news, a profound cardiac defect that would result in significant challenges for their child to survive beyond delivery. Because of the advances of medicine, following her birth, they had the gift of three weeks with their daughter. Minutes mattered more now than ever and throughout their stay, the RMHCR team worked to clear all logistical barriers so that she could focus all of their energy on the time they had together… Three short weeks and we were proud to ensure that each
of her 30,240 minutes in those three short weeks counted.
At Ronald McDonald House Charities Rochester, we welcome over 800 families annually and provide over 10,000 covered nights. We save families almost $2 million by providing lodging, meals, and transportation. And while these are the supportive services that we are best known for, the power of our mission rests in the importance of ensuring that every minute counts and if the result includes the unthinkable, we support families every step of the way.
“Today more than any other time in history, life is moving at an unprecedented speed, partially because we can both receive and send information instantaneously.”
During my last two decades at the Alzheimer’s Association I have found that one of the most joyous times of the year for our caregiving families is the winter holiday season. As families gather to celebrate their faith and traditions, enjoy a meal together or exchange presents, homes become filled with the scent of evergreen, the sounds of laughter, and the music of the season.
This time of year can also be one of the most challenging for families impacted by dementia, as well, bringing with it stress, disappointment and even sadness. The person living with Alzheimer’s may feel a special sense of loss because of the changes he or she has experienced. Those with early onset Alzheimer’s may experience minor changes. Some withdraw and become uncomfortable in social settings, while others relish seeing family and friends. At the same time, caregivers may feel overwhelmed trying to maintain traditions while providing daily care for their loved one.
WIth some planning and adjusted expectations holiday celebrations can still be joyous. The key is to check in with one another and to agree that you may need to make some changes to the traditions that you’ve held dear.
If you know a caregiver offer them a helping hand, run errands for them and
sit with their loved one so that they can do theirshopping and run errands. Plan the holidays together, focusing on the things that bring happiness and letgo of some of the activities that may seem overwhelming or stressful.
Rethinking holiday plans and simplifying them will help everyone involved. It may be something as simple as planning a movie night together to watch “It’s A
loved one can do with them and share tips on how best to communicate with them. Keep in mind that simultaneous conversations can be challenging for people living with Alzheimer’s, so try engaging them one-on-one, in a quiet part of your home.
● Involve the person with Alzheimer’s. Involve your loved one in safe, manageable holiday preparation activities that he or she enjoys. Ask them to help prepare food, wrap packages, help decorate or set the table. Avoid using candies, or artificial fruits and vegetables as decorations because a person with dementia may confuse them with real food. Bright blinking lights may also cause confusion. Be aware of your surroundings and how they may cause unnecessary stress and anxiety.
Wonderful Life” or “Miracle on 34th Street” then putting on some holiday music and baking cookies.
Here are some tips for reducing holiday stress for those living with Alzheimer’s and dementia and those who are caring for them:
● Set expectations: Let guests know what to expect before they arrive and offer them ideas on how they can be helpful. Recommend activities that your
Plan ahead. When attending a holiday party, prepare the host for special needs, such as a quiet room for the person to rest when they get tired, away from the noise and distractions.
● Adjust expectations. Call a face-to-face meeting or arrange for a group discussion via telephone, video chat or email for family and friends to discuss holiday celebrations. Make sure that everyone understands how important it is to manage expectations and remember to ask for help. You would be surprised
how much others want to support the caregiver if you allow them to.
● Let others contribute. Host a potluck dinner or ask others to host one in their home. Consider breaking large gatherings into smaller visits of two or three people at a time to keep the person with Alzheimer’s from getting overtired and overwhelmed.
● Adapt gift giving. Provide your family and friends with a list of suggestions for useful, safe and enjoyable gifts. These may include comfortable, easy-to-remove clothing; CDs of favorite music; or favorite foods and photo albums of family and friends. If friends or family members ask, suggest a gift certificate or something that will help make things easier, like house cleaning, lawn or handyman services, laundry services, restaurant gift cards or even volunteers to visit with your loved one for an afternoon.
● Do a variation on a theme. If evening confusion and agitation are a problem, consider changing a holiday dinner into a holiday lunch or brunch. If you do keep the celebration at night, keep the room well-lit.
● Maintain a normal routine. Sticking to the person’s normal routine as much as possible will help keep the holidays from becoming disruptive or confusing. Plan time for breaks and rest for yourself and your loved one.
If your loved one resides within a residential community, join them
memory for yourself, as well.
Please know that you are not alone. The Alzheimer’s Association is walking the journey with you and we want you to know that we are here for you when you need us most.
for their community’s holiday party. Encourage other family members and friends to come with you to this special event and take lots of photos while you’re there. After you’ve printed out the photos you can bring them with you during your next visit. The lingering impact from that joyous occasion will warm the heart of your loved one as they recapture that moment when you were all together and will give you an opportunity to recapture a warm
The Alzheimer’s Association is a worldwide voluntary health organization dedicated to Alzheimer’s care, support and research. Our mission is to lead the way to end Alzheimer’s and all other dementia — by accelerating global research, driving risk reduction and early detection, and maximizing quality care and support. Our vision is a world without Alzheimer’s and all other dementia®. Visit alz.org or call 800.272.3900.
“Please know that you are not alone. The Alzheimer’s Association is walking the journey with you and we want you to know that we are here for you when you need us most.”
Groundbreaking study seeks diverse volunteers who have been historically underrepresented in research
Millions of people in America 65 and older live with Alzheimer’s disease, and the number is rising rapidly. According to the Alzheimer’s Association, more than 410,000 people in New York have the disease. Black and African Americans are especially at risk for the disease, with incidence rates two times higher than white adults. Black adults also have an increased likelihood of being diagnosed with further progression of the disease than their White peers.
To help address these disparities, researchers at the University of Rochester Medical Center in Rochester, New York are inviting healthy adults between 55-80 to join the groundbreaking AHEAD
Study, funded by the National Institutes of Health and Eisai.
The AHEAD Study is the first clinical trial that aims to help prevent Alzheimer’s disease before it starts by enrolling participants as young as 55, who have no memory problems. Eligible participants may receive access to an investigational study medication aimed at delaying memory decline in people up to 20 years before the symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease appear. Discovering a treatment that targets brain changes early means doctors may be able to one day prevent memory loss.
Clinical trials like the AHEAD Study need participants of every race, ethnicity, socio-economic status, and geographical location to join the study so we can find a treatment for Alzheimer’s disease that works for everyone. Diverse representation, in particular, is critical to helping researchers learn more about why people of color are at higher risk of Alzheimer’s disease.
For Black adults, their involvement is especially important because despite their higher likelihood of developing Alzheimer’s disease, they are underrepresented in clinical research, currently making up less than nine percent of Alzheimer’s clinical trial participants
Researchers say getting ahead of the disease will take all of us working together to find a potential treatment or a cure. If you live in the Rochester, NY area and have a history of Alzheimer’s disease in your family, or if you are worried about your memory, consider joining the AHEAD Study. Contact researchers at 585-602-5207 or email audrey_rice@urmc.rochester. edu.
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Take the next step in your professional journey at Roberts Wesleyan University. Wherever you are, Roberts has degrees to help you achieve your goals. Develop the latest skills and strategies needed to advance your career. We offer programs that are:
Reach your career goals through applied programs that allow you to immediately put your learning into practice.
• Business Management, B.S. (12-24 months)
• Business Marketing, B.S. (12-24 months)
• Strategic Leadership, M.S. (12-24 months)
• Literacy, M.Ed. (11-22 months)
• Special Education, M.Ed. (12-28 months)
• Health Administration, B.S. (12-24 months)
• Health Administration, M.S. (12-24 months)
• R.N. to B.S. (12-24 months)
• R.N. to M.S. (30 months)
• Nursing Education, M.S. (18-20 months)
• Nursing Leadership & Administration, M.S. (18-20 months)
• Family Nurse Practitioner, M.S. (36 months)
HUMANITIES
• Arts & Culture, A.S. (12-24 months) SOCIAL WORK
• Social Work, B.S.W. (15-17 months)
• Social Work, M.S.W. (11-24 months)
The 1947 movie Miracle on 34th Street is one of my favorite classic holiday movies. To believe in miracles, love, hope and joy during the holiday season warms many homes and hearts. Everywhere you look, the malls to visit with Santa, family gatherings, social media, mom’s, dad’s, uncles, aunts and kids of all ages are snapping smartphone photos filled with cherished memories for a lifetime. I sat down with a cancer mom and she shared her story of faith, resilience, and survival. How her precious son Logan is a Tiny Miracle, was born just one month before Christmas. Jennier Fogg is a special projects coordinator with Aflac and author of the book Tiny Miracles. She uses personal experiences and advocates for childhood cancer through the Logan Strong Foundation to help families that are fighting childhood cancer. The mission of Logan Strong Foundation is to raise better childhood cancer awareness, provide items of comfort, support for children and their families while they are fighting cancer in and out of the hospital.
As a proud mother to her warrior son Logan, who was diagnosed with a rare brain tumor at 3 months old defying all odds Logan turned 6 years old in November. Jennifer’s book Tiny Miracles was released March, 2022 on Logan’s 5 year cancer diagnosis anniversary to continue to share their story of faith, resilience and survival. Tell us about your childhood and where you grew up?
I am the only child of an entrepreneur father and a supportive mother. I was born and raised in Colonie, NY. I was a tomboy growing up, playing softball and volleyball throughout my school years. I also danced competitively for most of my childhood. I’ve always been very independent and outgoing and not afraid of change or a challenge.
Tell us about your life before your
see a fertility specialist. With a little help from the fertility doctor, we got pregnant immediately. When we found out that we were having a boy, we were both ecstatic! All my dreams were coming true. I had a great career, an amazing husband, and now a baby boy on the way.
What challenge(s) did you overcome?
Wow….a lot!
traumatic experience or life-changing event?
I had always wanted to get married and have a family. I got married late in life, I didn’t meet my husband until I was 35 and got married at 39. I had (still have) a great career with Aflac, I was teaching dance part-time and loving life. After we got married we immediately started trying to have a baby. After 6 months of trying and because of my age, we were told to
Since the day Logan was born, we were told numerous times that he wouldn’t survive. First being that he was born with a brain bleed. Then monitoring that, which turned into a brain tumor diagnosis at just 3 ½ months old. We spent the better part of 6 months living at Albany Medical Center, undergoing 5 rounds of aggressive inpatient chemotherapy and three major craniotomies. He then spent another year going through outpatient chemotherapy. Not only were we told several times he wouldn’t survive but were also told, he might be paralyzed or never be able to walk. I was lucky enough to not only work for Aflac, I also had cancer and hospital plans on Logan when he was diagnosed which afforded me the ability not to work throughout his treatment. Aflac also sponsors Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta, which is the hospital that wrote Logan’s treatment plan. So had it not been for my career, all of these synergies may not have happened.
Our son beat unbeatable cancer, and he doesn’t walk… he runs!
“At the age of 3 our son was diagnosed with autism. This became
But now we have a new set of challenges. He has some developmental delays; brain injury, feeding tube, shunt, bilateral hearing aids, autism, and delayed speech, but that’s just what they are… delays. He has overcome every worst-case scenario thrown at him and continues to defy the odds!
I learned to trust my mama gut and never give up. I also learned how to ask for help! Being strong and independent is great but experiences like this really take a village! We were lucky to be surrounded by so many close friends and family and even strangers praying for our son!
What’s your biggest takeaway?
Going through this experience reinforced for me that everything happens for a reason and there is a higher power at work. Another thing is that doctors are just people too. So every time they would tell me that Logan wouldn’t survive, it was just what they knew. They aren’t God, although they are in some cases. We are super pleased with Logan’s medical team, their honesty, and their efforts. I think it’s important to know that we are all human!
What does it mean to be a resilient woman?
Just keep going, no matter what! It’s not what happens to you, it’s what you do with it. That’s why we started the Logan Strong Foundation to help
woman, author and patient - led researcher. Her tenacity for advocacy, travel and outdoor adventure allows her to speak on global stages and experience different cultures other than her own. A positive mindset and attitude is the cornerstone to Maya’s active lifestyle. She has been featured on ABC, NBC, CBS, WebMD, Medscape, Healthline and many more.
Website: www. covidwellnessclinic.com Twitter: https://twitter. com/mayamcnulty Linked In: https:// www.linkedin.com/in/ mayamcnulty/
other cancer families and why I wrote a book, Tiny Miracles, to share our story of hope, faith and resilience.
Maya McNulty is a successful business
“Jennifer Fogg is a special projects coordinator with Aflac and author of the book Tiny Miracles. She uses personal experiences and advocates for childhood cancer through the Logan Strong Foundation to help families that are fighting childhood cancer.”
...find yourself at our estate, nestled in the conservation corridor of the Bruce Trail, atop the Niagara Escarpment, where our wines are meticulously crafted from the fruit of vines cultivated on the rolling hills of the Vinemount Ridge. As our name suggests, we welcome you to experience our compelling range of award winning wines and spirits and join us in celebrating this distinct Canadian wine region.
wine & spirits. hospitality centre. bed & breakfast
Holiday survival or thrival?
It is your choice. Ultimately, we all have the choice to thrive or survive.
If you are with me on this and want to THRIVE through the holidays, think about dancing and flowing through the challenges and begin to plan some action steps to THRIVE.
First, what does survival mean to women?
It is important to have awareness of your survival tactics before you switch to thrival. By developing awareness you will be able to catch your survival tactics in the moment and pivot quickly to change your behavior when.
Awareness is key!
There are specific programs and habitual behaviors that women carry around as habits. And these patterns pop up during the holidays.
#1 We put ourselves last and take care of everyone else, their needs first.
#2 We tend to emotionally eat and drink to shove our emotions.
#3 We over extend to please others.
#4 We don’t feel we are ENOUGH.
#5 We do not ask for what we want.
By the end of all of this we feel limited and restricted in our health, wealth and power.
The good news is this means it is time for a change of plans.
This holiday season, plan to be strong, healthy, and wealthy through the holidays. Anticipate the best!
A great way to switch to thrival is through the female archetypes.
The negative archetypes that women carry and rear their ugly head during the holiday stress:
1. The Victim: The part of you that feels that nothing seems to work. You become drained and desperate.
2. The Martyr: The part of you that gives and gives until you have nothing left. You become tired and sick.
3. The Drudge: Struggles and struggles and feels if you are not drained from hard work then you are not worthy. You are worn down and have no drive. You cry through everything.
Embracing your superpowers means evolving these archetypes! Let’s flip them!
1. Abundant Mother! Focus on receiving! The other side of the victim is ABUNDANCE. Statements like, “The world collaborates in my favor!” and “I anticipate all good things this holiday season!” are key to your abundant success.
2. Empress! Invoke your QUEEN! Yes, your queendom needs you but you must know that you come first before giving to your queendom! Stop only giving and start receiving more - it is ok to ask for more. Most women need to believe they are enough. Simple thoughts like, “I am enough” will help you thrive like a queen through the holidays!
3. Warrior! Take the time you have off during the holidays to reflect on your purpose and warrior strength to receive. Focus on hitting the reset and reboot button. Allow yourself to flow rather than struggle. A simple phrase I use with my clients and myself, “I am flowing around the obstacles!”
As we say in Evolve Leadership plug into this intention:
“I am healthy, wealthy and
“Holiday survival or thrival? It is your choice. Ultimately, we all have the choice to thrive or survive.”
In Evolve Coaching we talk a lot about putting yourself first - to receive. And I feel the holidays are a great chance to practice putting yourself first!
Looking for more female power, self love, and inner healing as a leader? Join the BreatheFIT Quantum Leadership Program 2023! Six months of Deep Dive into your energetic, emotional and physical anatomy of POWER! Book a consult with Dr. Pam Denton.
Dr. Pam Denton is a business
consultant for reducing stress in the workplace and founder of Positive Evolution Consulting, Evolve Coaching and BreatheFIT. Her intensively researched mindbody approach to empowerment has helped thousands of leaders plug into their innate power and activate the law of attraction for unstoppable success. She is the author of numerous books, including She Means Business, Leadership Evolution, Messages from Spirit and Journey to Female Power. She is well known for her work with women in business and
is the founder of many programs for women, including Project Woman Mastermind and the Rise to the Top Training. She served three terms as President of the Syracuse, New York chapter of the global network FemCity. In 2016, she created three successful conferences: The Intuitive Expo for Mind Body Leadership, Inspire Leadership Conference, and Superpower Your Success Conference. www. positiveevolutionconsulting.com
I was introduced to Christopher Jones by following the Mitchell’s Journey Facebook page. Christopher was a poignant storyteller who documented his son Mitchell’s heart failure journey. The Duchenne Community came together and cried with his family as they said goodbye to the beautiful eight-year-old son. I have been honored to become friends with Christopher and his lovely wife. Chris has created a fantastic game to bring your family together this holiday season. I had the opportunity to talk to Chris about the inspiration for designing the “Spark the magic of Storytelling” game.
Tell us a little bit about yourself and your background. I’ve been a serial entrepreneur for about 24 years and have a thing for building businesses that build people. From launching tech startups, and creative agencies, to incubating/accelerating other companies, my business thrives on creating a profound vision and defining clear paths to success. I’ve been married for 25 years, a father of 4, and a doting grandfather to 2 beautiful children. I’m pretty much obsessed with my family.
How did your son’s journey influence the creation of SPARK? Turning our little family’s storytelling tradition into a game didn’t occur
until years into my grief journey. I was writing a story about Mitch in the cardiac intensive care unit; I could tell he wanted to leave the hospital, and he was sad he couldn’t. Wanting to lift my son’s spirits, I started to tell him a story with music in the background. His anxious face softened in his eyes seemed to fall into a dreamlike state what we experienced.
I know you have a shy person; what made you go public with Mitchell’s Journey?
I never planned to have Mitchell’s Journey go public the way it did. At first, I started Mitchell’s Journey
Facebook Page to offer updates on my son’s declining health with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. I figured that would be an excellent place to update people without intruding on their space with emails, texts, and letters. If they were curious, they could check in at their discretion.
When my son was in the hospital, on hospice, and after he passed, I began to see the profound impact sharing our story had on others. The writing was my therapy. It was my only therapy. I used it to unpack one experience at a time, understand what was broken, and then try to put my broken pieces back together again in a single long-form essay.
So, I didn’t go public with Mitchell’s Journey per se; somehow, some way, a segment of the public came to me.
Tell us a little of the backstory of creating this game.
When my kids were little, I’d tell them bedtime stories with music and the spoken word. I’d play soundtracks in the background and let the music take us away. My stories always followed the mood and tone of the music, and it was simply magical. While storytelling, I’d change the song to something random, which would steer us in unexpected directions. We’d laugh, cry, and sit on the edge as stories unfolded in our minds. It
isn’t easy to describe the magic of those moments. It was as if I unzipped the ceiling, and the bedroom walls fell to the earth; we fought dragons, trudged through mystical marshes, traveled across the universe, and discovered something about ourselves. I’d always include my kids in the stories, which always made it more personal for them.
It wasn’t long before I had my employees storytelling with music. In the office, on long drives … wherever, whenever. I was amazed to discover how everyone is a storyteller. As adults, we forget how to do it. We forget that telling stories is fundamental to human nature. From the stories we tell ourselves to the stories we watch on the big screen, we are constantly consuming or telling stories.
If you don’t believe me, think back on what it was like when you were a child. Our parents would hand us toys; before we knew it, we told little stories with our dolls, trucks, and other little figures. Something unfortunate happens somewhere on our journey between youth and adulthood. Slowly and progressively, we’re encouraged to stop telling stories so we can memorize the stories of others. That’s not all bad because we can learn a lot about ourselves through the stories of others – but when we sacrifice our storytelling for the stories of others, we lose our naturally firm grip on telling stories of our own. Soon, our muscle memory for storytelling atrophies, and we forget how natural it is to us.
So, when I saw adults old enough to be my parents awaken the inner storyteller within, I was fascinated. It reminded me of the movie “Awakening,” where people in an Alzheimer’s ward awaken to their young, vibrant selves for a brief moment. Music-inspired storytelling seems to do something similar to people: the child within emerges – and it is beautiful to see.
My spark is found in helping others heal, to help make sense of suffering, and find meaning in our life experiences. My most profound work is in the space between the head and heart.
Tell us what made you create “Spark” and what exactly it is.
I wanted other people (children and adults alike) to enjoy the magic we experienced. I wanted to create something that would bring friends and family together at a time when the same technology that connects us also keeps us apart.
SPARK is a music-inspired improv storytelling game. Inside a tiny box are a few hundred stories, prompt cards, and access to an app with hundreds of hours of music. That music is played in the background as storytellers use story prompts and imagine fantastical stories.
The best way to think of SPARK is an improv storytelling game with music as your co-storyteller.
What was it like to have an idea and then see it come to fruition and
It’s always gratifying to see parents and people in the game industry know the value of what you created. What I like more than awards is receiving messages from parents and educators who tell me what happened to their children when they started telling stories with SPARK. It’s as though they’re meeting a version of their child they hadn’t met yet. Often, they’re fascinated (and entertained) when they see a giant storyteller hidden in the frame of a little child.
For me, the optics of an award and other public wins are neat, but the real magic is found around the kitchen table or living room floor when they connect in ways they haven’t before. That’s all I care about. Awards are just a sticker you get to put on things. The real reward is in creating memories others get to keep for a lifetime.
What does the word “Influential” mean to you?
When I think of “influential,” I’m reminded of the saying, “Managers require leaders to inspire.” One is draconian and disempowering, and the other inspires belief in oneself and is empowering.
Influence is not so much telling people what to do or how to think but rather an invitation to listen to our “better angels.”
According to you, what skills are necessary for becoming a successful entrepreneur?
We’re often married to at least two
“Music-inspired storytelling seems to do something similar to people: the child within emerges – and it is beautiful to see.”
things: our partner and work. Those relationships (and others) often live or die on our ability to listen, learn, and adapt. If we can’t hear, learn and adapt to situations, we’ll find ourselves regularly in marriage counseling and bankruptcy court.
What do you feel are your greatest strengths, personally and professionally? I’m a deep listener. That is useful in my personal and professional relationships, for sure. But I don’t listen to get something from someone; I listen to give.
Also, I’m fiercely creative. That’s simultaneously my greatest strength and my Achilles heel.
What has been the hardest thing to accomplish since starting this mission?
I am overcoming selfdoubt. Which, ironically, is a form of storytelling.
Who are some people who empower and inspire you, and why?
Without question, my wife empowers and inspires me. I marvel at her deep wisdom, balance, and charity of heart. If it’s true that you become the average of the five people you spend time with the most, I want to be around her all the time. She’s insightful, innovative, and a great leader.
Yes, a few businesspeople seem to be doing things well, and I’m learning from what they have to say – but I have such
a profound example sitting next to me. I will forever honor Natalie.
If you had to start over from scratch, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?
Early tests. Quick pivots. Do more with less, simplify and focus.
“What is your ‘why? ‘” Why do you do what you do
I am putting a Band-Aid on a broken heart, offering a firm shoulder to lean
For SPARK, getting private messages from parents who had a fantastic experience with their family stands out to me.
Each moment of shared gratitude by others is as special to me as in the past.
What has been your best form of promotion for this product, and what platform is your favorite?
The best form of promotion for SPARK is being listed on gift lists by educators, child development experts, or influential bloggers. My favorite platform is Ah Parenting. Dr. Laura recommends SPARK to her readers profoundly impacted parents looking for games that will build their children’s creative, collaborative, and verbal communication skills.
What is one thing that motivates you?
My one motivator is helping others heal, grow, and awaken their deepest self.
on, and giving a hug to someone who is falling apart—helping people who suffer. I find that the more I help others heal, the more I heal. Life has become a beautiful dance of healing, hurting, and healing.
Name one particular moment that has stood out to you during this journey. For Mitchell’s Journey, I get private messages from people who have had a profound shift in their life because of my son’s story. Those messages touch me deeply.
What are your following plans?
I have many ideas for SPARK. One includes a digital version that can be played on a TV screen or remotely between friends. Same game mechanics with music and prompt cards; only everything is digital and much more immersive. I will prototype a version of this game with some young men with DMD in the coming weeks. It’s an excellent opportunity for them to escape into an infinite universe of possibilities.
“Turning our little family’s storytelling tradition into a game didn’t occur until years into my grief journey.”
I’ve met some “Tough Mothers” while navigating my journey with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. However, few have had to navigate this journey with one of their sons diagnosed with Duchenne MD and on the Autism Spectrum. Both trips have their twists and turns.
I’m excited to introduce Suzanne Weimer Desmond; not only is she a tough mother, but she is an accomplished figure skater with a Silver Medal from Empire State Winter Games and is continuing her family’s Heintz & Weber mustard legacy. (www.webersmustard. com)
Tell us a little bit about yourself and your background.
I grew up in Hamburg, NY, on Lake Erie, with my parents and my sister Laura.
My sister and I learned to ice skate. I loved Figure Skating. At age 17, I earned a silver medal at the the1984 Empire State Winter Games in Lake Placid. I was on a synchronized skating team at the Southtowns Skating Club, SSC, called the Southtowns Silhouettes. I skated on the Olympic rink four years after the USA Hockey Team won Gold. It was magical! Little did I know that my daughter Zoey would figure skate on the same rink at least six times while figure skating herself; the only difference is that she skated solo, winning several silver medals. I’m so proud of both of us!
Skating would give me the experience
of volunteering with the Skating Association for the Blind and Handicapped (SABAH) and the Gliding Stars Adaptive Ice-Skating Programs, teaching ice skating to the mentally and physically challenged. I officially left the Gliding Stars in 2021. While volunteering at SABAH, I met Steven Desmond, a professional Photographer taking photos for the organization. We have been married for 28 years and
of an exon and an intron (splice and an altered protein-coding sequence).
Francis was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) in August of 2008 at 10. Here I had not one but two significant diagnoses, one not having to do with the other one, but the two always collided with one another. To make a long story short, these were the facts of my life; raising a special needs son who had/has both physical and mental challenges for the rest of his life while raising another son and daughter who were two and five years younger. At the time, it seemed daunting! Now I’m blown away that we made it to adulthood somewhat unscathed.
have two sons and a daughter (Francis, 24; Luke, 22; Zoey, 19). We live in a beautiful home in Orchard Park, NY.
What’s it like to have a son diagnosed with Duchenne MD and Autism Spectrum Disorder?
Our oldest child Francis was diagnosed at age eight on January 3, 2007, with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD), an etched date in my mind forever. He has a mutation called a Splice Site. A splice site mutation is a genetic alteration in the DNA sequence at the boundary
When I first found out about both DMD and ASD, there were a series of many feelings that both my husband Steve & I went through at different times for both of us. The emotions were like this: Shock, you must be wrong, Denial; how did this happen to a very healthy couple, and finally, Acceptance. Then it was off to the races of ongoing research, hope, doctor appointments, etc., while all that was trying to make his life the best we could, doing the best with what we had/have. The same happened with the second diagnosis of ASD. Boys with DMD and ASD have the same dreams as regular boys, but those dreams have tremendous obstacles for Francis.
Our days are filled with Mr. & Mrs. Monster, but he always finds some reason to smile, which keeps me going.
He officially lost his ability to walk at the age of 14. At the age of 9, we have the memories of going to Walt Disney World in Florida, where Francis walked all four parks himself! I cherish those moments!
As hard as life gets, I’m honored and humbled that the Lord chose me to be Francis’ Mother. I will never give up helping him even though I need help to take care of him. It’s hard as a mother to admit you need assistance, but please know it’s not a weakness but a strength to realize you need help.
Your Family created a Coffee table book entitled “A Life With A Purpose” what was the concept and the mission of creating such a book?
My husband Steve created the book. He had personally fallen into a deep hole. From the thought of Francis having DMD to his ASD diagnosis, all he did was cry and think of a life with no future for our family.
In 2011, he realized that he couldn’t live the rest of his life with these same feelings: he learned early that year the Francis had a voice and he needed to be heard. He had all the pieces... journal entries from Francis’s youth and photographs of Francis and our family... of course, the photos showed more of the happy moments than the sad ones, along with my journals entries reflecting, in words, more of the tragic and painful moments than happy ones. And Francis’ artwork somehow, as a proud Dad, held on to virtually everything Francis drew and painted because it (a) was good in Steve’s eyes as a visual artist and (b) because his art
reflected what he was thinking more so than verbalizing.
The book took about a year to create, and the mission “A Life With A Purpose” rolled over to Facebook, where I made a page to help tell his story, along with keeping people updated on the dollars raised and where they were being donated. At the end of 2022, more than $22,000.00 has been submitted and presented from the “A Life With A Purpose” mission.
The book is about family. It leads in with the three Journal entries I had made at three pivotal points in our and Francis’ life. But after the first 11 pages, the book reflects “family” and the positive energy most families choose to endear.
Do you think there will be a sequel to “A Life With A Purpose”?
As for another book, Francis was initially very reluctant to even talk about his book when I was writing it. Whenever Steve spoke to him when writing it, he wanted nothing to do with it. But then, the media got involved, and Francis was autographing copies of the book (when he still could, due to the progression of DMD, he completely stopped signing his name in 2020). It was about two weeks after “A Life With A Purpose” was released. Francis called Steve to his Office. He was working on a new drawing. Steve will never forget his words, “ Dad? Can this be in my second book?”
Steve began the sequel to “A Life With A Purpose” somewhere around 2015. “Checks and Balances” centers around
Francis’ Autism and one-line anecdotes about life. The book is half-completed as of today. At this moment, regarding Francis’ situation in his health and vitality, I’m not sure if it will ever be released as I’m not sure if I’ll ever have enough material to complete it.
What has been the hardest thing to accomplish since traveling on your journey?
Getting everyone’s needs met in the family and my own while being a caregiver to Francis.
It is making sure that Francis received all the services and equipment needed over the years and to this day. And now that he is an adult, it’s even more complex. Francis doesn’t and will not have a job or even go to college, so this makes life for him as well as us for his family challenging.
If you had to start over from scratch knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?
This is a loaded question. I wish I could go back and do a few things better than I did, like make better choices, but then again, if I didn’t make the mistakes I did and learned from them, I wouldn’t be where I am today and would not have learned anything about how strong I am. When you know better, you do better.
As far as Francis goes, I would not have gotten a standing wheelchair for him; I would have gotten a stander and a power wheelchair that did everything but stand. I would have gotten help from Nurse’s Aide to help me care for Francis so I might have balanced
“Not only is she a tough mother, but she is an accomplished figure skater with a Silver Medal from Empire State Winter Games and is continuing her family’s Webber’s Mustard Legacy.”
things better for my younger children, my husband Steve, and myself. But I would not have changed how hard I fought for and still fought for him.
We don’t get to do things over, so let’s try to think things through before we act on items in our lives. We get one life, so try to live it to the fullest that you can see in all areas of your life. Tomorrow was never promised.
You also have a family history with the Heintz & Weber Mustard Company in Buffalo, NY; tell us a little about that. The company is turning 100 years old this year!
My Grandfather/my Papa would be so humbled that it made it that far. He also would have been so proud to know my husband Steve (and I) took an almost dead business out of the hole and made it the company it is today.
My Grandfather, Joseph C. Weber, was the founder of Heintz & Weber Co., in Buffalo, New York. He was born on October 8, 1900, in Vienna, Austria. His Father, Adolph Weber, immigrated alone in 1905 to find work and a place to live. Two years later, in 1907 sent for the family his wife Regina, along with my Grandfather
and his siblings. He was probably no older than 6. He established the company in 1922; you do the math on
in 1982, my Grandfather in 1984, and my Grandmother, Laura, in 1986, the company was then left to me and my sister Laura with my Father while working his job at the Ford Stamping Plant, oversaw the business and did the best he could. In 1997 Steve and I took over the company. Our children started to arrive, and a year or so after the birth of our son Luke, I decided I wanted to be at home to raise our children, but I still did some things from home or on location or worked the line when needed for the business.
In 2022, every jar of Heintz & Weber’s Brand Horseradish Mustard shows “A Life With A Purpose” on the product label. That’s more than 350,000 views a year that Francis receives recognition for his voice.
We wanted to create a new gift pack. We decided to put Francis’ story on the side of the package in addition to my Grandfather’s story to raise awareness for DMD. with the idea to raise money for Duchenne research with every unit sold. Currently, it’s being sold at the Buffalo/Niagara International Airport. Today, the airport has sold nearly 2,000 three-packs with Francis’ story and mission on the side panel. His “life” with a “purpose” has now circulated worldwide.
his age and without a college degree.
Upon the passing of my Mother, Ruth,
“The emotions were like this: Shock, you must be wrong, Denial; how did this happen to a very healthy couple, and finally, Acceptance.”
Today I get to interview a person who usually does the interviewing! However, you are going to find out quickly that Todd Staruch, is a Jack of All Trades with possibly a secret identity!
In fact, I didn’t realize how many hidden talents Todd had until I started to try to put a timeline of what I did know about him for this interview only to find out so many things he did or does branches off into several directions I didn’t realize!
So, help me out here, Todd. Let’s create this timeline together. My timeline in getting to know you was through the cons. I knew you wrote, you directed, you did interviews, etc. But that timeline, when we met, came in much later.
Let’s start at the beginning. How did you get interested in doing film festivals?
Todd: Well, to be honest, a dozen or so years ago, I didn’t even know that local festivals or independent filmmaking was even a thing. I mean, I of course was aware of the giant festivals like Cannes or Sundance, but I had no idea that there were small events, and local people making movies. Then I met a bunch of guys from NY who had made an awesome indie film called “The Super.” We became friends and then they asked me to play a zombie in one of their movies, and from then on, I was hooked on indie filmmaking!
Tammy:Wow, I never knew that I’ll have to check it out! Just like you, I knew nothing about the smaller cons. Then, at my first one, I met Tom Ryan who then introduced me to you at my second one. Like you, I became hooked!
I alluded at the beginning of you having a secret identity. What I meant by that is most probably do not know, besides your passion for the film industry and other interests, what your full-time day job is! I like to tease you of having a Clark Kent persona, mind telling us what your day job is?
Todd: I am an IT (Information Technology) consultant. My company specializes in providing retailers with hardware and software to help manage and secure their corporate networks. I personally specialize in the payment card field, where we install hardware and software to process credit card payment.
Tammy: I’m sure some will be surprised at that. I know I was! Now, throughout the rest of the interview, we will see you as the Superman I see you. A Super Dad, a Super Brother, a Super Son, a Super Friend. You see where I’m going with this whole cute analogy.
But there’s also a lot of substance to what I am alluding to, by all the things you do besides your work life and private life. Let’s take example your event called Grindhouse.
How did that come to be and what is it?
Todd: It all started about a decade ago when my good friend Rob Dimension ran something called the PA/NJ Horror Film Club. A bunch of folks would gather in the back room of a comic book store in Bensalem, PA.
We would watch an indie horror film and then sit around and talk about it. Then we would just hang out and talk
about movies, comic books and such. I was mulling around the idea of doing something similar in northern NJ when I was at my friend’s restaurant/bar with the same group of NY filmmakers I mentioned before. One of them said, “You know, this would be a good place to watch horror movies!”
So, I asked the owner, who I had known since grade school, if we could schedule a film screening and she said yes. I expected maybe a handful of people to show up, but we had about 20 people! From there it just grew into the event that we have today, which is a two-day juried film festival, combined with live entertainment.
Tammy:To have started out with such humble beginnings, it’s an impressive event! If I am correct, last year was your 10th Anniversary! Congratulations, your baby is still growing!
So, besides your day job and the Grindhouse, you are also an author! When did writing become part of your life? And are you strictly a screenplay writer or do you write a story first, then turn it into a screenplay?
Todd:Well, to be fair, I really don’t consider myself an author. In my mind, that does a disservice to people such as yourself, who make a living with their writing. I do enjoy the process of writing a screenplay, but I am a long way from calling myself a screenwriter. Back in college, I did write a couple of short stories that I am currently converting into screenplays, so we’ll see how that goes!
Tammy: Again, a humble answer, from
my mild manner Clark Kent, but I disagree! It takes strength in being able to write, let alone format, into a movie! All of which you have done!
The way I see it, you are someone who has a passion for something. Then shares that passion with others, to writing, then you went on to directing! Was that just a natural order of things for you? Ultimately, knowing that was where this was all taking you, or was it a surprise to you?
Todd: Honestly, I never really mapped it out in my mind. I went from being a PA, lugging gear around for friends, to having small roles in indie movies, to becoming a producer with Theatre of Terror and it just felt right to try my hand at writing and directing. Again, my “real” job pays the bills, so the filmmaking side of my life is just something I do for the joy of it, and I never really know what’s next.
Tammy: Your guess is as good as mine! You constantly amaze me with your new projects that you have going on! Recently, you have even won awards! Mind letting us know more about them?
Todd: The film “Splinter”, which is an original story by me, and was directed by my buddy Tom Ryan and produced by Theatre of Terror, recently won the Kevin Smith Home Grown Film Award at the prestigious Garden State Film Festival, and I was very proud of that!
My own short films “The Bonds of Friendship” and “Nana” both had successful festival runs and I am proud
of those films as well. I do want to take a moment to give a shout out to everyone I have worked with on any film. It’s definitely a team effort, and I appreciate everyone’s involvement!
Tammy: That’s awesome, good for you! As for your teams, what amazing and talented people you have involved in your projects! I’ve seen the interaction and there is a mutual respect which carries over into your films, something you all can be proud of!
You mentioned earlier you were even an actor! Can you tell us more about your acting?
Todd: My first role was as a zombie in my friend Liam’s film “Survive” and that was a lot of fun because we had a lot of gross makeup and effects and stuff. My first big speaking role was in a short film called “Rapt,” which was written by Russ Hackett and Jerry Janda and also directed by Tom Ryan. I’ve been in other stuff here and there and it’s always a lot of fun!
Tammy: So far you have a day job, you are a host and promoter, a writer, a director, an actor and when I first met you, you were also interviewing the stars at the cons!
How did that all come about?
Todd: Well, I kind of just stumbled into that. I had my website, horrornerd. net and people kind of knew who I was through my events and social media, so I just applied for a press pass at a horror convention in New Jersey and it was
approved, much to my surprise!
For the first couple of events, though, I was behind the camera, and I had a different host. Unfortunately, we had a falling out and while I was looking for a replacement my dad said, “You know all of these celebrities and you know every movie and every show they have ever been in, so why don’t you just do the interviews yourself?”
My dad usually knows what he’s talking about, so I gave it a try and had a blast, so now I do interviews at multiple shows every year. Truly, I am just a fan at heart who gets to do some really cool stuff, and sometimes I do wonder, “How the heck did I get here???”
Tammy: That’s what I love about you! You have fun with all these things. And let me tell you, your father was right! I was so nervous about my own interview with you. But you made it so easy and when it was all done and said, you made me look like I knew what I was doing, lol! No wonder you are such a hit with all the stars!
For all those wonderful interviews, you have created a YouTube channel and a website for them. Where can our readers find them?
Todd: Well, I am a social media whore, so I am not that hard to find. You can find me under my real name just about everywhere, and on YouTube you can find my channel at https://www.youtube. com/c/TheHorrorNerd. My website is www.horrornerd.net. Which reminds me, I neglect
my site far too much and
“Well, to be honest, a dozen or so years ago, I didn’t even know that local festivals or independent filmmaking was even a thing.”
I really need to get back to it!
Tammy: Oh please, I don’t know how you do it! We’ll be at a con, you’ll take a picture and within 5 minutes it’s posted! I swear its magic - takes me days to find the time and I have way fewer things going on than you!
Hopefully our readers now have some sort of idea of how complex and talented you are, but I saved one last thing that I think really puts you over the top. The real reason I think you wear a cape!
You are involved in charity work. Scares that Cares. In fact, it’s one of the reasons I wanted to put you in this month’s article! Could you tell us about what the charity does and how our readers could maybe participate in such a worthy cause?
Todd: Scares That Care is a registered 501c3 charity organization that is very
close to my heart. Founder and CEO Joe Ripple has become a dear friend over the years and he and the rest of the staff do an amazing job raising money to help ease the financial burden for families who are dealing with catastrophic illnesses or injuries.
Each year, we host several events to raise money for the cause, and there are also a lot of online/virtual fundraisers every year.
For more information, people should visit www.scaresthatcare.org or https:// www.facebook.com/ScaresThatCarePage.
Tammy: A very worthy cause and what I like is that they have events throughout the year, not just this time of year. Please, check them out not only is it for charity but the people involved are amazing and it’s just a great time for the whole family!
There you have our Clark Kent turned Superman after work hours, Todd Staruch. I can’t thank you enough, Todd, for letting us see a glimpse of all the amazing things you do!
Todd: Thank you so much Tammy! It’s been such a pleasure getting to know you these last few years!
Tammy:Pleasure has been all mine! Even though I may use a little kryptonite on you once in a while, you are a Superman, through and through!
I’m sure I’m not the only one that realizes your story is far from over! It will be interesting to see what you will come up with next!
Until then, I wish you the very best as I carefully reach over the cape you wear, to hand back the microphone to where it belongs!
“! It takes strength in being able to write, let alone format, into a movie! All of which you have done! ”
Meet Bosco, our very own foster fail story!
Bosco came to ACS from Louisiana through our transport partner St. Hubert’s Animal Welfare Center – North Branch. Shelter life was immediately hard on Bosco and he started to exhibit behavioral issues. Not only was Bosco struggling with other dogs, but he was having trouble trusting strangers as well. We saw him start to aggressively guard his food and toys and excessively stress pace around his kennel, causing him to lose weight.
Our team created a behavioral plan for Bosco and began the steps necessary to help him feel more comfortable at the sanctuary. Unfortunately, no matter how much you try, some dogs find the shelter environment too stressful to make significant progress. Bosco was one of those dogs, and he needed to get out of the shelter to reach his full potential.
Bosco developed a particularly was a “foster fail” and he became a full time member of their family. In his new home he continues to train and learn, making more progress than ever before. Bosco no longer guards his food or toys and is even getting better about meeting strangers!
We never thought it would be possible, but Bosco is fully comfortable eating in the same room as his other dog siblings. When Bosco and his three sisters aren’t cuddling on the couch, they’re playing his favorite game of tug-of-war! Bosco has truly found the best home with one of our own and is now living his best life!
“Bosco showed immediate progress when he was brought to his foster home filled with three other dogs, three children, and two adults.”
The New Year offers a great opportunity to make resolutions, whether it’s improving your physical or financial wellbeing. It’s a good time to take stock and make plans to save more cash. Here are some helpful tips!
It’s a no-brainer, but if you are not focused when you are shopping, you are more apt to spend way more than you planned on impulse buys. Stick to the list and stay on budget.
Smart shoppers plan ahead, shop early, compare prices, and never pay full price for anything. Keep an eye out for coupons and sales (both in-store and online).
Be a Creative Gifter
Whether it’s a birthday or holiday gift, what can be better than a homemade gift? With a little lovin’ from your oven, homemade jams and jellies, or a handcrafted gift using your creativity, you can save a lot of money by making gifts instead of purchasing.
If you have errands to run, plan out all of your stops so that you can make one trip instead of multiple trips. It will not only save you money on gas, it will also help you to stick to your shopping list.
Plan Your Meals in Advance
Food waste statistics are truly staggering. Americans throw out almost twice as much food as any other country in the developed world -
between 30-40% of the food produced is wasted. By planning your meals in advance for the week, you can save by buying only what you need and stop letting your groceries go to waste.
Brown bagging it can save you a few thousand dollars a year. Instead of going out for lunch, take your lunch to work. Cook in bulk when you make meals at home so you can take those leftovers to work – it’s cheaper and healthier than restaurant meals. Think about it, if you eat out for lunch 5x a week at an average of $10 each time, that equals $50 a week, and about $200 a month! The same goes for that everyday coffee. Think about how much you can save by making your own coffee and bringing it to work!
By drinking more water throughout the day, you can save money on coffee, soda, juice, etc. Plus, drinking as much water as you should is good for your health! Invest in a good water filter and refillable water bottle so you will always have filtered water ready to drink. Bottling your own water will save you money.
Use Credit Cards Wisely Shop around for cards that offer rewards or points that will rack up fast with each purchase. Many credit cards periodically offer extra points which can be used for travel, merchandise, and more.
Resolve to improve your credit score. A low credit score can result in higher interest rates for loans or on credit cards. Working to improve your credit score can save you thousands of dollars in interest charges.
Some financial institutions have really tapped into the way that their customers and members spend and save. The Summit Federal Credit Union, for example, has just announced its newest product –RoundUp Savings*. A RoundUp Savings account offers members of The Summit an easy way to save while they spend using their Summit Visa® Debit Card. When a purchase is made with their Summit Visa® Debit Card, the transaction is “rounded up” to the nearest dollar and the spare change is automatically transferred from their Checking account to their RoundUp Savings account. Members then sit back and watch their savings grow. Featuring a great rate, there is no minimum balance required for a RoundUp Savings account. Plus, as the account reaches financial milestones, a Milestone Bonus can be earned. *The Summit Federal Credit Union is federally insured by NCUA. Membership subject to eligibility.
Your workplace may have an option to put part of your paycheck automatically into a savings account. By doing this, you won’t be tempted to use that money and you likely won’t miss the extra money you don’t see in your paycheck. It also saves you
“Whether you are saving up for a big purchase, epic vacation or rainy day in your life, there are ways you can save creatively without even knowing it or even adjusting your lifestyle too much! ”
from having to transfer those funds yourself.
Whether you are saving up for a big purchase, epic vacation or rainy day in your life, there are ways you can
save creatively without even knowing it or even adjusting your lifestyle too much! It’s about making good choices and committing to saving!
Dawn Kellogg is the Public Relations
and Community Engagement Specialist for The Summit Federal Credit Union.
For those that don’t know me my name is Jessica, aka Coach Jess. I am a Certified Personal Trainer, Nutrition Coach and IFBB Bikini Pro. I have been in the fitness industry for over 12 years and within the last few years have helped hundreds of women around the world with their health and fitness goals. One of the common misconception a lot of women tell me is that if they strength train and lift heavy weights they will get “bulky” or too muscular. Man, do I wish that was the case. So, I watch women stick to their 3-5lb weights and treadmill as they embark on their fitness or weight loss journey.
I am not saying the treadmill is a bad thing. It is a great tool and very good for cardiovascular health. Now sure the scale may go down and you’re super pumped about it right? I can almost guarantee you though the dream body you’re after, that toned look everyone tells me they want. Well, that most likely requires more muscle. Majority of women tell me their goal is to lose weight and build muscle. I think we need to re-direct our “weight loss” goal to FAT loss specific. Let me tell you the way to burn more fat is to gain muscle. Here me out:
Aside from aesthetics there is a multitude of reasons all women should strength train. Especially as we get older. Did you know, as we age our muscles
deteriorate at a much faster rate than men? Yes, it is easier to grow muscle the higher your testosterone levels are which typically for men is the case to have higher levels than women. This does not mean women won’t or can’t build muscle. That is very far from the truth. However, as we age our testosterone levels decrease for both men and women, which can make it even harder for us females to build. Research shows that after age 30, the
important we build it while we can. It’s never too early or late to start!
So let’s talk about how to build muscle.
Set a schedule for strength training. We want to lift weights about 4- 5x per week for optimal growth. Make sure you’re training with intensity. Progressive overload means constantly challenging your muscles. By either increasing your weight consistently, changing up rep ranges, time under tension etc. These are all ways to constantly challenge your body.
Which is precisely why we need to strength train ladies. Muscle is the most metabolically active part of our body. The more muscle we have the more calories we will burn even at rest. What increases your BMR? You guessed it, MUSCLE. So ladies since we lose muscle as we age, it is super
Nutrition wise you need to make sure you’re fueling your body for muscle growth. This means making sure you’re eating enough protein, but also enough calories in general to make it possible to grow the muscle you want. You can’t and won’t build if you’re constantly in a calorie deficit. Food is not the enemy; carbs are not the enemy and fats won’t make you fat! Please understand making sure you’re eating whole quality food with protein, “good fats” and appropriate carbs will make all the difference. Having a plan of action and a coach that can guide you to reaching your goals is very beneficial. Not only for the knowledge they will bring to your life but the accountability to help you push through those mental struggles.
{ COACH JESS }
Another very important and underutilized tool for muscle growth is REST!!
My clients hate to hear this, but it is so important to optimize recovery. See as we strength train, we are breaking down our muscle. These muscles need time to recover and repair to see gains. Rest days are essential. If we don’t rest and recover our bodies cannot regenerate. Sleep is also when our growth hormone levels are at their highest. Making it imperative to get enough rest. We should be striving for at least 7-8 hours of quality sleep a night.
So how many of you ladies are ready to ditch the hours you’re spending on the treadmill and want to come train
with myself or another amazing No Limitz Coach right here in Rochester??
Here is my contact information below:
You may e-mail me at JLKFitness1@ Gmail.Com
Or direct message me on Instagram @JLKFIT_IFBBPRO
Also, if you have any specific topics or questions, you would like me to cover or answer in my next article you may also reach out the same way.
“This program has changed the way I see food and has helped me make so many better choices. Most importantly
I feel the best I have in years. No stomach issues, and less bloating. The accountability and weekly check-ins helped keep me focused to staying on track. Thank you, Jess, for all the hard work you put into this program. I wouldn’t be feeling this good if it wasn’t for you. I appreciate you so much”
Amber Transformation 3X Bikini Champ
“This program has changed the way I see food and has helped me make so many better choices.” -Diana
Tell us a little bit about yourself and your business Slay Beauty Bar. Anarsha is a driven entrepreneur who has had a passion for business for as long as she can remember. Coming from a family of entrepreneurs she has been braiding since she was eight years of age and had a full clientele before the age of twelve. Anarsha founded Slay Beauty Bar in 2016, which is a modern beauty enterprise that offers cosmetology services to Rochester and the surrounding communities. Slay was her first property acquisition and is now a part of her Real Estate Portfolio for her second company Stush International Properties. Her real estate company was founded the same year as Slay and holds a portfolio of both traditional and short term rentals.
What makes you hustle?
What does the word hustle mean to you?
I have a strong desire to constantly build and grow. I believe life is a journey of continuously evolving. The more you invest, connect and expose yourself to new business ventures or even a different approach to your current business the more you expand as a human. In addition to that I also enjoy providing services, creative spaces and opportunities that bring people together for a greater cause. When I think of the word “hustle” I think of the act of selling, promoting and acquiring aggressively, energetically and constantly.
What made you decide to start your own business?
I started my own business because of my passion to serve and create unique experiences. I love the flexibility of creating my own schedule, providing a vehicle that allows income opportunities for others as well as the stability and legacy being in business provides for my family. I come from a family that prioritizes hard work and excellence. These traits are deeply imbedded in
the latest trends, furthering education and staying innovative.
What is your favorite part of what you do?
I enjoy seeing the transformation between a clients arrival and when they leave; New look, new you! Slay provides an environment that allows clients to unwind, relax and reset. My favorite part of being a business owner is connecting with the clients and guests by providing an exceptional experience.
What’s the best business advice you have ever received?
Don’t Quit.
What do you think helped you the most and what is the biggest factor that has helped you be successful?
me and I feel a sense of purpose when I’m operating in this capacity.
What type of services do you provide and what do you feel sets you apart from your competition?
Slay beauty bar provides suite spaces for beauty professionals with an interest in being their own boss and expanding their personal brand. We currently offer natural hair services, extensions, braids, color and online merchandise. We are constantly staying on top of
My family and network has been great in supporting me and guiding me along the way. I’ve learned so much from my mentors and business colleagues. I would certainly recommend mentorship for aspiring entrepreneurs or for any business owner that is seeking growth in their field.
How do you find new clients? What has been your biggest success?
I find new clients through word of mouth, social media, advertising and platforms such as Styleseat, Shareshare, Airbnb, etc.
What does beauty mean to you?
Beauty is not only our outward appearance but light you give to the world. Beauty is a combination of your positive intrinsic qualities, the way you touch lives, your standards and values. Looking attractive while embodying unique inner qualities is my definition of beautiful.
As a female leader, what has been the most significant barrier in your career? One barrier that has been a hurdle in my career is developing a team that mirrors my vision for the companies. Recognizing the high standards and vision that I have for Slay and Stush, I am learning how to seek out individuals according to their strengths. I’m becoming more comfortable with delegation as I continue to scale.
You are undoubtedly busy, how do you take care of yourself and maintain a good mental health? What do you do for fun?
I am very busy but I have learned to create a morning routine which includes a small window of me time for prayer, meditation and stillness. I also plan regular vacations because I love to traveling. Outside of travel I enjoy reading, exploring different types of cuisine, new experiences and spa days.
What would you say is your greatest professional accomplishment to date?
Retiring as a stylist last year and transitioning into full time management.
What is the number one business goal you plan to accomplish over the next year?
We would like to focus on marketing and expanding our reach.
How long have you been training, and perfecting your techniques prior to opening your own business?
Before opening the salon I was actively braiding since I was a young child. I’ve always been very artistic. I can draw very well and I’ve been staging homes for friends for atleast 15 years.
Do you use social media to network? What is your favorite platform?
I do use social media as a form of networking. I’m currently the most active on Facebook.
clientele, and for having repeat business?
Providing opportunities for feedback, keeping standards high and delivering quality has been key in retaining long term clients
“Anarsha is a driven entrepreneur who has had a passion for business for as long as she can remember.”
Our latest She Hustles Talks cover woman, is a lady boss creating the first Minority/ Black owned Day Spa dedicated solely to Men’s health and wellness in Rochester. She is a female, take charge in a man’s industry and creating an empire.
Tell us a little bit about yourself. Who is Monique Chatman?
I am a warrior. I believe I was born to lead and motivate. I may have a strong exterior, but my core is soft, giving and caring. Born a matriarch of 16 siblings, I have lived, suffered and succeeded past levels my imagination could have never afforded me to believe.
What made you decide to open your own business and create, The Groom Room Men’s Spa, and also Love Monkey beards?
Well, this story is simple. I was broke and looking around a room with women who were looking to go into the same field I was. So I had to think outside the box so that I wasn’t fighting for the same clientele as they were.
Love Monkey Beards was a idea and a gift straight from my mother through a dream I had after her passing!
I was already making my own line of beard and bath products for fun and really never taking it seriously.
My Grandma told me to “Bottle that $hi! Up”, and I did just that.
My grandson’s smile. His name is Jace, He is everything I’ve ever done wrong molded into this perfect little monster
years strong.
I have three beautiful, intelligent and strong willed children who I also want to prove that dreams come with hard work! So I set the pace for them.
What made you decide to open a mens spa being a female? Has it created challenges for you?
I have nine brothers. I have been naturally choreographing their self care updates and needs since they were born. I cut their nails (still to this day). I find it alot easier to interact and nurture gentlemen. The only challenge I have had in opening my Men’s Spa is ….women! They wanted their own menu of services, so I had to oblige.
Who are some of the strong women that you feel have inspired you?
There are many women locally who inspire me. Rayna B of the Mobile Spa has been my Spa sister and liaison for information since I opened.
lol. He is my reason for begging my higher power to change my lifestyle, thoughts, processes and prayers!
I made him a promise at his birth that I would never miss a day of his life, as long as I am living and by gods grace I have kept that promise ,four
Carly Chung Stowe is a great advisor and keeps me on point with business organizing. Van of People’s Choice Kitchen always keeps me under her wing of resources.
Mayor Lovely Warren has been a great supporter to my business success. But. I would have to give flowers to my old mentor who made being a black spa owner who can have it all, a daily visual for me .
}
“I am a warrior. I believe I was born to lead and motivate.”
What do you feel is the key to women empowering other women?
Simple, it’s collaboration! Once we stop seeing one another as competitors we can stop running the race beside once another and walk hand in hand to the finish line which is wealth and success.
#6 When did the entrepreneur big bite you?
Honestly, This may sound weird but it hasn’t yet. And I run raggedy on a daily running multiple businesses. I can tell you when I knew I wasn’t made to work for anyone. In 2009 I applied at McDonald’s and I wasn’t qualified. I laughed at the interviewer and told him, “Thanks I’ll figure it out “.
Tell us about some of your goals and dreams for you personally and professionally.
Personally my goal is to become kinder to Monique! I want to develop a unconditional and uncontrollable alter ego that picks me up when I’m down and knocks me down when I’m doing too much.
I want to get rid of diabetes from my life through diet and exercise.
Professionally
I would like to have three more Day Spas for gentleman. I want to impact their lives and self esteem with professional and powerful services that make them aware of their importance.
I want to Widen my reach in my mentorship group. My success stories let me know that what Im doing is
impactful and important to small businesses.
I would like to also open up a Dog Boarding Center with my children.
What are some of the pros and cons of being a female entrepreneur in a male dominated field?
We share information without a competitive edge. It doesn’t matter the time of day, I can call her for advice or use her to help me resolve a issue in my business.
If you could do one thing you have never done what would it be and why? The one thing I would do is NOT hold a grudge. I have always been the one to allow silence/issues to linger. Life has shown me that tomorrow isn’t promised and I may not get the chance to speak my peace tomorrow. Why? My baby brother was murdered earlier this year and I didn’t get the chance to have a simple conversation with him to get us back on track. He was like my son and I allowed a petty grudge to go past it’s due date .
What are some of the things you find help you to be a successful business owner?
Struggles. Strife. Pain.
My grief has literally catapulted my hustle.
I dive into my goals so I won’t be on my death bed tell Jace
“ I wish I would have….”
“I should have”
“ I had that idea” or “ I was going to”
My voice is louder! Because I am knowledgeable in my craft my reach is a little different for target clients .
Name a female leader you look up to for mentorship and guidance. No brainer.
Rayna B of The Mobile Spa.
I am successful because I am afraid to be poor , again.
What is one piece of advice you have been given that you have never forgotten ?
“Nothing comes to a sleeper, but a dream”
My mother use to wake us up EVERY morning screaming this phrase and to this day when I write down a goal or business plan. I know I have to work to make it happen.
If you had to pick one service that you would consider your “specialty” what would it be and why?
Wow! Just one?
Ok , I’m going to say the Beard Facial. I am a pogonophile. I am obsessed with beards and beard care! I love to make sure they are healthy and happy.
What’s the most important risk you ever taken? How did it play out for you?
Opening my brick and mortar business. It took every penny and trick I had in my hat to open. I didn’t pay my rent
at home for four months to balance opening costs !
Literally everything I had went into The Groom Room. I would say it was, as my baby cousin Shamar would say “A big risk for a big reward.”.
How do you continue to constantly grow both personally and professionally? What have been some things that have worked well for you, and some that have not.
I have learned that being patient and taking deep breaths gets me through any situation. When I get overwhelmed I have to step back and weigh out different outcomes and directions. Instead making quick decisions.
Getting advice from people who have never done the very thing I am attempting to do has never worked out well for me .
Making those fast decisions, never plays in my favor.
Doing things I don’t enjoy…..never keeps my attention.
Getting too happy before the end result… yup you guessed it. Never works well.
Be bold. Be you. Beat the odds!
“Never allow anyone to pick your pace , position or power moves”
Join her free Facebook business advice group called Business Bahaviors.
“I find it alot easier to interact and nurture gentlemen. The only challenge I have had in opening my Men’s Spa is ….women!”
“Once we stop seeing one another as competitors, we can stop running the race beside one another and walk hand in hand to the finish line which is wealth and success.”
Tell us a little bit about yourself, your background, and how you started Drips Spa
I am a board-certified Family Nurse Practitioner (FNP) who received a Masters of Nursing Practice (MSN) degree from St. John Fisher University in Rochester, NY. Over the past ten years, I have also gained experience as a phlebotomist, registered nurse, and educator. I am a wife and mother to an amazing little boy! I love to sing, work out, and spend time with my family in my spare time. During my wellness journey, I developed a passion for nutrition and how it can be optimized to achieve goals. I took this passion and my love for placing IVs (intravenous) to create Drips Spa.
What is Drips Spa, and what services do you specialize in? Drips Spa is an ondemand concierge IV hydration and wellness spa. Our services consist of IV drips, vitamin shots, and medical weight loss. We specialize in weight loss with our very popular 12-week Semaglutide Weight Loss Program. We also specialize in services that slow aging, enhance skin, promote immunity, boost energy, reduce anxiety/depression, and increase concentration. Our hangover solution reduces fatigue, dehydration, nausea, and headaches.
What makes you hustle?
My passion, drive, and determination to help my clients achieve their wellness goals make me hustle. My pride in being a black, woman-owned business also makes me strive for greatness.
What made you decide to start your own business?
I am a true believer in manifestation. I was destined to have my own business. I have known since I was seven years old that I would be a Nurse Practitioner and an entrepreneur.
fear I have is coping with the fear of failure. I feel like this is natural. To combat this, I continue to manifest all of my goals. It is important to be confident in what you are capable of.
What online marketing techniques do you use? What platform do you find to be the most successful?
I utilize social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. I use Canva to create various ads/ posts for paid promotion. I also utilize periodic giveaways and sales to boost engagement. Paid promotions via Facebook and Instagram have been the most successful.
How did you push through your biggest business doubts?
This dream was self-actualized when I decided to prioritize my health and wellness.
What are some of the challenges you face regarding being a female entrepreneur?
One of the challenges of being a female entrepreneur is balancing business and family life. My family is the most important and one of the major reasons for my success. Some days are harder than others; however, I continue to work on balance and being present in the moment. Another
I push through my greatest business doubts by being confident, dynamic, realistic, resourceful, and positive. It is important to have outlets. When I am feeling overwhelmed, I make sure to make it to the gym. I make sure to spend time with my family. I make sure to give myself positive affirmations.
What do you feel are some of the characteristics that make a woman successful in business?
Intelligence, confidence, resourcefulness, and determination are important characteristics that make a woman successful in business.
“I set both short- and long-term goals with realistic, achievable time frames. I often remind myself that this is a marathon and not a sprint. This keeps me grounded.”
I also believe self-reflection is very important for growth. Know your strengths, but most importantly be aware of your weaknesses and how to overcome them.
What has been the biggest challenge of owning your own business?
The biggest challenge of owning my own business is time management. I work on this by prioritizing, delegating, and knowing my limitations.
What are the most common mistakes that your feel a new business owner makes?
A common mistake new business owners make is underestimating the time and effort it takes to start and maintain a business. Be prepared for stressful days and long nights; for periods of frustration and moments of happiness/excitement. It is also important to know your limitations. I have learned I cannot do everything and it is important for me to delegate to my trusted team.
How do you plan for the future of your business?
I set both short- and long-term goals with realistic, achievable time frames. I often remind myself that this is a marathon and not a sprint. This keeps me grounded. I anticipate the needs of my clients by actively listening to them during their sessions. They have the greatest influence on the new services I launch.
What’s your favorite aspect of being an entrepreneur?
My favorite aspect of being an entrepreneur is without a doubt, my clients! I love the relationships I have built and the trust I have established.
I get the greatest satisfaction when I can help achieve their wellness goals. Whether that be having the energy to care for their family, recovering
be days when you feel frustrated, defeated, and exhausted. Be gentle with yourself. Never judge yourself or make important decisions during these moments. See your future and go get it!
Who or what inspires you?
My family inspires me to reach for my goals and business aspirations. They are the foundation that allows me to build Drips Spa into the dream I envisioned.
What is your favorite infusion and why?
1. My favorite infusion is Glam because I love how my skin looks and feels afterward. It gives you energy, glowing skin, and confidence that makes you feel like you can take over the world!
How do you take care of your mental health?
from a hangover, losing weight, or having beautiful glowing skin!
What advice would you give to a new business owner?
The advice I would give to a new business owner is to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Do things that you never thought you could do. There is so much growth in overcoming your fears! There will
I take care of my mental health by prioritizing selfcare. I value my gym time. It is my time to focus on myself and forget the rest of the world exists. I value meditation and self-affirmations. The mind is such a powerful tool when you take care of it! I also love a good massage!
What’s your most satisfying entrepreneur moment so far?
I feel like my most satisfying entrepreneur moment is ever-changing!
If I had to choose, it would be receiving client referrals. It is confirmation that
“One of the challenges of being a female entrepreneur is balancing business and family life.”
“Drips Spa is an on-demand concierge IV hydration and wellness spa.”
my clients are not only happy with my services, but also trust me with their friends and families.
I like to have an element of surprise to keep you all excited and wanting more! Stay tuned for Drips Spa in
the coming year, with new products and services to be announced soon.
www.dripsspa.com
Glam is a non-surgical beauty therapy that delivers real results! Slow the effects of aging and enjoy younger looking skin with the help of anti-oxidant IV therapy. Containing a high dose of the master antioxidant glutathione as well as vitamin C, Glam detoxifies your body from damage caused by free radicals. This therapy also cleanses vital organs while
improving the appearance of your skin, hair, and nails.
Myers’ Cocktail is an IV nutrient therapy with a powerful combination of vitamins, nutrients, antioxidants, and fluids. This drip is an effective therapy to maintain wellness and alleviate the symptoms of acute or chronic illnesses. Myers’ Cocktail is a
special blend of nutrients created to sharpen mental focus, strengthen the immune system, and return balance to the body.
Recovery is an IV cocktail that promotes natural immunity. This IV drip decreases recovery time, improves energy, and revitalizes the body. This infusion is an excellent adjuvant when feeling under the
weather, prior to large group events, and during the recovery phase of athletic training.
4.D+D+ is Drips Spa’s ultimate NAD+ experience! Nicotinamide adenine nucleotide, abbreviated as NAD+, is a coenzyme that is vital to your metabolism. NAD levels decrease with age, leading to age-related metabolic and neurodegenerative diseases. Increasing your levels with NAD IV therapy improves your health, reduces the symptoms of aging, and may extend your lifespan.
D+ IV drip therapy replenishes your NAD+ supply to help boost cell function, improving mental stamina, energy, inflammation, and overall physical health.
Semaglutide is a medication that works by stimulating your pancreas to increase insulin. This additional insulin causes the stomach to empty over a longer period of time. The idea of the stomach processing food more slowly can seem counterintuitive to patients.
The slow and consistent digestion is an early step in the chain reaction that makes semaglutide an effective weight loss drug. When the stomach takes more time to empty itself of food, it sends signals of “fullness” to the brain. The end result of this process is a powerful appetite suppression effect based on the patient’s own natural insulin production. In just three months you can lose 15-20% of body fat without restrictive diets and rigorous exercise routines.
Tell us a little bit about yourself, your background, and how you started Aprons & Pearls Vintage Boutique.
I was born and raised in Rochester. I have three adult children and I am a recent empty nester, along with my two dogs, Winnie and Olive. Now that my children are grown and pursuing careers of their own, I’ve started thinking about what is next for me. I have worked as a Civil servant for 27 years and it’s hard to believe, I am approaching retirement!
I have a degree in Social Work and a background in Retail Business Management.
In April 2020, I opened Aprons and Pearls Vintage Boutique at The Shops on West Ridge. A couple of weeks later, everything shut down due to the pandemic, so we didn’t officially open until June. I am one of approximately 200 vendors there that sell everything from antiques and furniture to jewelry and art. We even have a Country Store! It is such a unique and fun place to shop and getting to work with so many talented and creative vendors is so inspiring. I think it was the perfect place to launch my small business.
What made you decide to open your own business, and why a vintage boutique?
Opening my own shop has always been a dream of mine, that I planned to pursue after retirement; but decided to launch it beforehand. The boutique kind of evolved naturally. As I combined my love of vintage and fashion, the look and vibe of my shop slowly changed. I’m very nostalgic and a lover of all things vintage. I especially love the glamour and elegance of fashion from the forties, fifties, and sixties.
because I have so many favorites. I’d have to say my favorite is a beautiful antique dress form that was from a former vendor who relocated. She is very elegant and is for display only! She is special to me because she came from a talented fellow vendor that I admire so much. I just can’t part with her!
What advice would you give to other female entrepreneurs just starting out?
It sounds cliche but I would say believe in yourself. Most importantly, do not compare yourself to others, because it will drive you crazy. Confidence will come with each small success along the way.
I think when you’re passionate about something it energizes you and it is definitely what fuels me. As a single parent, I became very good at multitasking and I’m used to staying busy. Because I love what I do, the “hustle” seems to come naturally.
What would you consider your one favorite item that you have found? Wow, that is a difficult question
While we all have different styles and tastes, I believe all women want to feel their best. My mission is to offer clothing and accessories that make women feel beautiful. I try to do this by bringing back the elegance of vintage fashion and keeping it relevant today by offering vintage and vintage-inspired dresses, jewelry, and accessories. As we come out of the pandemic, we have an opportunity to dress up again, so I love offering clothing that is unique and feminine and encompasses both current and classic styles.
How do you advertise your business?
What has been the most successful?
I primarily advertise on Instagram and Facebook (@shopapronsandpearls). I also have a website that is in the process of being updated. I have done a few shows and pop-ups that have been great networking opportunities. The Shops also does a lot to promote our businesses on social media.
What makes a woman successful in business?
It takes determination and perseverance to be successful in any business. I think developing your brand and listening to your customers are key. I have learned so much from other women entrepreneurs and particularly my fellow vendors. To be successful it’s important to support each other, network, and surround yourself with like-minded women.
What is the biggest challenge for you as an entrepreneur, especially in the vintage world?
As vintage style has become more popular, particularly among the younger demographic, it can be challenging to remain unique in a saturated market. Finding ways to creatively promote your business can also be challenging at times.
It is such a tough job being an entrepreneur. Are you really happy? What keeps you going?
It can be tough, but yes I’m very happy. I love meeting and engaging with customers that share my passion. Knowing that they are pleased with their purchases and seeing them come back keeps me going. I also like playing a small part in keeping the styles of those eras alive.
Although it can be tiring, doing what I love, doesn’t feel like work
the shops to unload. Because I only have from 6-8 pm, I need to know what I plan to do that evening, to make the best use of my time. Vendor day is a bustling time, with everyone working on their shop and it’s always a race at the end, to finish on time!
What is your favorite aspect of being an entrepreneur?
I love the creative freedom I have by having my own business. I expanded by opening a second shop since opening two years ago, so it’s so exciting to watch it grow and evolve.
I will use a Wednesday to talk about a typical day. Wednesday is vendor day at the Shops and we are closed to the public. It is our time to bring in new pieces, renovate, re-stock or reorganize. Because I work 9-5, I usually load my car the night before with inventory that has already been priced and tagged. This includes dresses that have been steamed and hung. When I get out of work, I rush to
How do you stay on top of filling items in your shop and getting in new finds? Hunting for unique pieces is one of my favorite parts of my business. I am always looking for items that fit with my brand and aesthetic. Sometimes I choose items with particular customers in mind. I review my sales report nightly to see what has sold and decide on what inventory I’m bringing in next. I put a lot of thought into my displays and try to refresh often. Frequently customers reach out to me about vintage items they would like to sell, so sometimes I acquire inventory that way.
How do you manage your work-life balance?
That is a challenge! While I am still employed full-time, that has to be my primary focus. I do spend a lot
“I think when you’re passionate about something it energizes you and it is definitely what fuels me.”
of time outside the office, working on the shop, refreshing it weekly, and sourcing inventory. I try to leave my Sundays free so I can have family time with the kids. I usually have them all for dinner or we try to do something as a family.
I try to stay balanced and slow down if it feels overwhelming. Spending time at home just relaxing with the dogs helps too. I try not to “over schedule” myself so I don’t feel stressed. I also enjoy painting and refurbishing furniture, which is a stress reliever for me. I love restoring pieces to their original beauty or giving
them a whole new look or purpose.
What do you enjoy most about entrepreneurship? What do you find the hardest about it?
Since I am a relatively new entrepreneur, I still have so much to learn, but I love being my own boss and having a creative outlet to express myself. I enjoy connecting with customers and other small business owners because to me it’s all about those relationships.
I think I dislike the paperwork and tracking inventory aspect of my business the most. I’m still trying to find a system that works best for me.
What do you have planned next?
I am always looking for ways to grow my business. I am hoping to move to a bigger space eventually so that I have room for my furniture pieces. Long term, I would love to open a brick-and-mortar or rent space in an existing shop.
Tell us one thing that people don’t know about you.
I’m pretty much an open book, but one fun fact about me is that I am a True Crime junkie! I could watch or listen to crime shows for hours on end even though it scares me!
“Opening my own shop has always been a dream of mine, that I planned to pursue after retirement; but decided to launch it beforehand.”
“It is such a unique and fun place to shop and getting to work with so many talented and creative vendors is so inspiring.”
Tell us a little bit about yourself, your background and how you started Sojo Boutique. My name is Stephanie. I’m a mama to one little girl, Sophie Jo. I had always dreamed of having my own boutique but it was not until I had my daughter that I found my niche!
What made you decide to become a female entrepreneur?
I come from a long line of “entrepreneurs.” One side of my family are true entrepreneurs and the other side are strong women that do not give up.
Add that to my desire to be a present mother that can be at every activity, make my own schedule while showing my daughter that she can be and do whatever she puts her mind to and you have a boss lady!
What makes you hustle? What does the word hustle mean to you? My daughter makes me hustle!
Hustle means doing whatever it takes to meet your goals!
Why did you decide to do a children’s boutique and feature other small local businesses for vendors??
I always saw myself owning a boutique. It was not until I had my daughter that I realized I wanted a children’s boutique.
Prior to opening, I was approached by several “Instagram Boutiques” who
was poor quality, the sizing was off and it took weeks to arrive.
I quickly realized that a lot of these online boutiques never see the products they are shipping. I made it a mission to open my shop, handpick each piece and check them for superior quality while making items as affordable as possible.
I chose to feature other small businesses because I started my shop by hosting pop up shops and grew a passion for helping and supporting others.
What are some of the challenges you face with your business?
I opened my online store in October of 2019. Covid came a few months later and put a damper on business. But we rebuilt and grew.
Now that I have a storefront the most challenging thing is getting people to realize what my boutique is and where to find me! Competing against big chair stores is also a challenge for all small businesses.
wasn’t really a discount) to purchase their product and put my daughter in their clothes and post.
Every article of clothing I received
What is your one MUST HAVE favorite item you carry?
Baby BELL BOTTOMS!
“I opened my online store in October of 2019. Covid came a few months later and put a damper on business. But we rebuilt and grew.“
What is the best business advice you have ever been given?
It takes time. Don’t get discouraged. Take chances!!!
What’s your favorite aspect of owning your own business?
It is a lot of work and does take a lot of your time, but being a mother I feel it is easier to manage my daughters schedule while still growing my dream.
What advice would you give someone looking to start their own business?
KEEP GOING! It takes a lot of time and trial and error to find what works for your business. When you feel like giving up keep going!!
What is one thing if you could do over you would do differently?
Don’t listen to people! Stick with my original plans and my niche!
What’s the best strategy to target new clients?
I love sharing my space with other local businesses. Doing pop up events in my shop brings in new clients that may not have known about me before!
How did you decide on the location for your business?
I grew up in Webster and Sunrise Plaza is conveniently located and has a lot of exposure!
Do you use social media to network? What is your favorite platform?
Of course. Instagram is my favorite.
What’s your most satisfying entrepreneur moment so far?
What made you decide to do Pop-Ups at your boutique?
When the pandemic started to lift, I hosted my first pop up to get myself and others out there again. It consisted of 5 businesses including mine. What was going to be a “one time thing” ended up turning into a monthly event for 2 years!
When I was able to make my storefront dreams come true, I vowed to not forget how I started and keep helping other small businesses. I still continue to host pop ups inside and outside of my boutique. I also carry a couple local businesses in my shop at all times!
What do you have planned next?
Next up, I will be hosting a few small businesses in my shop throughout the month of December.
I’m also hosting a Holiday Market on Sunday Dec 4th from 11-3.
This will take place at the DK Extension 805 Ridge Road Webster NY (In the Hooligans Plaza)
Who do you look to for guidance and mentorship?
My father and other small business owners.
The event is free to enter and will have live music, activities for kids and 10+ small/local businesses/ artists to support!
“I come from a long line of “entrepreneurs.” One side of my family are true entrepreneurs and the other side are strong women that do not give up.”
Tell us a little bit about yourself, your background, and how you started Mi’ Amors Boutique.
Hello, I am Evelyn Parker, I am an Entrepreneur, I am the owner of Mi ’Amors Boutique, CEO of All Things DEI Consulting Firm, Chief Diversity Officer for Stride and a licensed Practioniner. But my proudest title is Mother, I am mother of 3 children. #2 What made you decide to open your own business, and why a clothing boutique?
I decided to open my own business because I wanted to share my passion with the world, I want to leave a legacy for my children so that they don’t have to worry about the future. My children are my world and building this business from the ground up means they have been able to see the hard work and sweat that I have dedicated to building this business.
Mi ‘Amors boutique stands for “My Loves” in Spanish which represents my 3 children and everything that I stand for as a bi-cultural woman. Being a teen mother at 15 years of age, I was taught early what hard work consists of and that consistency is key.
Mi ‘Amors Boutique launched in 2013 right after the birth of my 3rd child, in which at that time only catered to family and friends, with custom pieces and accessories.
It was not until the beginning of 2019, that I expanded the business from online
to a brick and motor location where my customers are now able to come and shop and have the 1:1 experience that Mi ‘Amors has to offer. I currently have a second location that also has just opened in March 2022 which provides a luxury shopping experience for customers.
What makes you hustle? What makes me hustle? Well, my children make me hustle, they make me work harder, they make me a better individual every day. Having my children tell me that their proud of me for establishing the groundwork for them while balancing a full-time job, home, also while balancing two business makes me a hustler.
What would you consider your one MUST HAVE fashion item this season? A MUST HAVE fashion item for this season are solid color items such as
solid-colored comfortable sets, simply because you can pair these items with denim, flannel jackets, fedora hats or simple accessories. You can style them with Heels, sneakers, flats or even boots. Whichever is your preferred preference of comfort.
What are some of the challenges you face regarding being a female entrepreneur and owning your own business?
Some of the challenges I have faced regarding being a female entrepreneur and owning my business transparently speaking is that as a business owner, you must be confident in your own lane and always remaining positive despite what may occur during entrepreneurship. The reality is sometimes it can be very hard because there are so many other growing boutiques. But believing in your progress, your business, putting 1000% percent into your business and having Faith is what helps me to overcome the challenges. Another challenge I have faced is creating and finding balance, it’s like my time and heart can be tugged int a million different directions at once. But I can honestly say that believing in GOD and his goods works is what keeps me going in this industry. Not to mention my supportive family, friends, and customers.
2 Corinthians 9:8
And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.
What was your mission at the start of your company?
My mission at the start of my company was for all ladies no matter your body size or type can feel beautiful to meet their fashion needs. I wanted ladies to be in love with what their wearing because that is the time when they are feeling their best selves.
When love marries fashion has been my mission from the start.
How do you advertise your business? What has been the most successful?
I advertise my business through social media, business cards, word of mouth and vendor events. Social media advertising has been the most successful avenue.
What makes a woman successful in business?
What makes a woman successful in business is self- belief, ambition, confidence, passion, having humility and willingness to learn, having a sense of purpose, being assertive to changes, being a hard worker, bravery, persistence, and consistency and know that its ok to fail and try again.
What is the biggest challenge for you as an entrepreneur?
My biggest challenge as an entrepreneur is having consistent balance and knowing when you take a break and just enjoy life.
It is such a tough job being an entrepreneur. Are you happy?
It is a tough job being an entrepreneur, but I would not trade it in. Being your own boss has its many challenges and that is ok. Failure is not an option for me, that is why I get up every-day to
A typical day for me is getting up at 6:30 am, meditating and thanking God for another day. Then getting my younger children up ready for school. Dropping them off to school then heading to my first job as a Chief Diversity Officer for an educational company, then wrapping my day up with grabbing kids, making dinner, and heading over to my 2nd job which is the Boutique in which I work later hours to accommodate customers. While at the Boutique I am multitasking with homework, prepping orders, bagging orders, and assisting with customer needs. I am wrapping up my night with my children about 9pm, but my job is still not over as I am decompressing from the day, this is 6x per week working multiple jobs.
My favorite aspect of being an entrepreneur is having the flexibility to continue to build and expand my business, meeting, and networking with other business owners, and meeting new customers.
How do you stay on top of industry and fashion trends?
be the best version of myself that I can be not only for my family but for my customers who trust me.
What is a typical day like for you?
I follow other boutique owners on social media; I attend seminars and workshops and I also have a fashion business coach who helps me stay on top of trends. Social media is also the perfect place to collect what is trending all over the world. My boutique
offers
“My mission at the start of my company was for all ladies no matter your body size or type can feel beautiful to meet their fashion needs.”
“I decided to open my own business because I wanted to share my passion with the world, I want to leave a legacy for my children so that they don’t have to worry about the future.”
clothing that fits Small-3x in sizes, also offering accessories, handbags, shoes, and cosmetics.
How do you manage your work-life balance?
How do I manage work-life balance?
Great question …… I DON’T lol... I normally just go with the flow of things and pray I can get through everything that is needed of me.
How do you prevent burnout?
I prevent burnout with spending time with my loved ones and children. I also read a lot of different books and meditating is also great for me to
prevent burnout. I also like to vacation and travel when my schedule permits.
What do you enjoy most about entrepreneurship? What do you find the hardest about it?
I enjoy making people feel beautiful, I love having conversations with new customers and letting them know they are valued and beautiful despite how they are looking on the outside. All Women are beautiful, and they all feel that way when they leave Mi ‘Amors Boutique. The hardest part about entrepreneurship is making sure you are covering all grounds of entrepreneurship and staying consistent
in this field of business.
What do you have planned next?
I am currently expanding on my Boutique and revamping the business, but I am also opening a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Consulting Firm. My future holds for me to stay Busy and Booked. I am planting the seeds for my children so that my legacy can continue.
Mi’Amors Boutique
4263 Culver Road Rochester NY 14622
Facebook- @miamorsboutique IG: Mi_amors_boutique
Tell us a little bit about yourself, your background.
My name is Dana and I am a 49 years old female entrepreneur. I currently work for the University of Rochester and am the owner of a company named Bee Snatched.
What is Bee Snatched and how did it get started?
Bee Snatched is a business that was created to enhance women’s waist lines along with their confidence I got started with this business because I decided to enhance my own body parts.
What makes you hustle? What does the word hustle mean to you?
I love to hustle. It’s the adrenaline I get when I reach an accomplishment and working towards a goal that really helps push me to the next level.
What made you decide to start your own business?
I actually didn’t know I was going to start a business. I never really planned for it. I started purchasing waist trainers for myself to help me maintain my investments. I had some enhancements done to my body, and I knew there were certain
things I needed to wear to keep up with the work that I got done. So, I wanted to share my knowledge
What is the best business advice you have ever been given? DONT GIVE UP!!!
What do you feel are some of the characteristics that makes a woman successful in business?
It’s important to have a strong passion in what your doing and selling. Nothing helps you be more successful then belieiving in yout own product, which leads to others believing in you to.
What is your favorite product/service you provide and why?
Waist trainers, by far! They help you out in many different ways and everyone that has purchased a trainer has gotten them for many different reasons. Train your waist can helpwith posture, back pain, lipo compression and it can help you look great under clothing.
running a business, a family and have a normal life.It’s a lot some times. It’s challenging, but ultimately rewarding to succeed and show my family that they can do this to.
What’s your favorite aspect of being an entrepreneur? Simply being my own boss!
What advice would you give to a new business owner?
You will have lots of trails and errors. But, don’t give up and
keep pushing. It is not always going to be easy. Most of the time it won’t. But in the end it can be very rewarding.
What’s the best strategy to target a new market?
I’m very big about trying out new products on myself first before selling them to my customers.
I’m very big about quality. What you sell represents you, so before you sell make sure to test out everything because it’s rough out here. People love social media and that’s the best way to push your products these days, but can also be the worst if someone doesn’t like what you have to sell. Word of mouth helps too, so a few bad
sales can go very far and your reputation can be damaged.
What do you enjoy most about owning your own business and being a lady boss? What do you find the hardest about it?
It’s my creating and I have the final say so. Keep up with all the new products you have to stay
in
“I actually didn’t know I was going to start a business. I started purchasing waist trainers for myself to help me maintain my investments.”
the loop of things.
Do you use social media to network? What is your favorite platform?
Yes, I do. I use IG, Snap Chat and a little bit on TikTok, but I feel as though Facebook has a bigger and stronger platfor for my demographic.
What’s your most satisfying entrepreneur moment so far?
I placed Bee Snatched in a fashion show in October 2021 and it was amazing! Once again seeing my vision come together under lights and cameras made me know that this was exactly what I should be doing.
Who do you look to for guidance and mentorship?
My husband, children and my assistant along with my close family member are who I look to for
guidance whenever I have questions or problems, or just need advice.
What do you have planned next?
Right now I’m in the middle of converting Bee Snatched to be strictly an online purchasing platform only. My future plans are something bigger and better that I’m not ready to reveal just yet, but stay tuned!!!
Tell us a little bit about yourself, your background.
I am a mother of 3 amazing children. My husband and I met in high school and reconnected in our 20s. After being together for 10 years we finally tied the knot 4 years ago in February. I absolutely consider myself blessed to have such an amazing and supportive family.
Tell us a little about Holly Wood Decorative Creations and how did it get started?
We have 32 women and minority vendors all within the boutique. The boutique is an n extension of my woodworking business that I started during the pandemic. One night of talking with some friends and family about being bored during the pandemic turned into selling items I was working on.
What makes you hustle? What does the word hustle mean to you?
My children are the reason for my hustle. I want them to see how I work to not only achieve my goal but to uplift others. They will see how hard work pays off. That we can all make an impact in others’ lives.
What made you decide to start your own business?
I am a trained Medical Assistant. I was working as a home health aide/hospice.
In the middle of the Pandemic, my patient passed away. With no end in sight for the pandemic, I did not want to go to work for another family and potentially be exposed to the virus. I decided to stay at home with my children while they homeschooled. When I soon found myself bored and needed to find something I turned back to woodworking. A
great. They want to have someplace to display their items where they could feel comfortable leaving their items so that they will be treated with care and get the advertising they need.
How did you pick the name for your company?
When I first started my name was KBJ Creations. Which stood for my children’s initials. But when I went to file for my DBA, I was not able because the letters are not my initials. So, I ended up going home for an hour and the name just clicked that my name is Holly and I work on Wood!
What are some of the challenges you face regarding being a female entrepreneur?
pastime I learned from my father and grandfather. Before I knew it, I was selling online and in craft shows. The success was wonderful, but I wanted more.
With more shows and markets, I would hear woman after woman who loved their crafts, but the shows are taxing on them. The long days, the setup, and the teardowns. Some shows would be duds, some would be
Trying to balance everything is extremely hard being a female entrepreneur. Always having eyes on you to make sure you have your home in line, dinner ready for everyone, and still have time to run. Everything still must run the same along with keeping your business afloat, which keeps you up at night worrying. I have found that you need to keep trying to tell yourself that you can’t do everything.
What has been the biggest challenge owning your own business?
Finding enough time in the day to
“My goal is to give women and minority small business owners a place to sell their products that is not only upscale but accessible. Where they will not have to compete with others for sales.“
do everything that is needed. I wish there was a way to add extra time.
What is the best business advice you have ever been given?
Don’t try to do everything yourself. Always accept help from others.
What is your goal or mission for your business?
My goal is to give women and minority small business owners a place to sell their products that is not only upscale but accessible. Where they will not have to compete with others for sales. When they drop their items, they will be treated with respect.
What is your top selling item and why?
My top-selling item is my blanket ladder. I honestly think it is because of how well they are made. They are extremely sturdy along with looking beautiful. I carry so many options in the ladders that they can match almost any home’s décor.
What’s your favorite aspect of being an entrepreneur?
So far, my favorite part is seeing how not only my business has grown but how I have grown as a person as well. This business has made me look inwards and think about what type of person I want to be and what type of person I want my children to be.
What advice would you give to a new business owner?
Never give up! Keep pushing even when things look too hard and too scary. It will not come easy but someday it will be worth it.
My family! They are the reason I do everything. I want to show my children that you can turn an idea into life.
friends. The more people you know and talk to about your business the larger your network grows, which in return helps you meet new clients and find new markets.
What do you enjoy most about owning your own business and being a lady boss? What do you find the hardest about it?
I enjoy meeting new people every day and forming new relationships. I have met some amazing people whom I would have never met had I not procured this venture.
I have found it hard to balance my time at points. I still coach cheerleading, take my oldest child to work, and participate in many craft events as well. Scheduling is a must and sometimes it gets clustered. My husband and mother-inlaw help tremendously.
Do you use social media to network? What is your favorite platform?
I use Facebook along with Instagram. I do use Facebook a bit more than Instagram.
What do you feel is the the best strategy to target a new market and client?
Networking is the best strategy. I have used events to network with social media, my vendors, and even
What’s your most satisfying entrepreneur moment so far? The opening day of the boutique must be the most satisfying entrepreneurial moment so far. I had worked so hard to get all the pieces together. To finally see the outcome was completely indescribable and breathtaking.
Where did the idea for your business come from?
One night a few friends and my cousin were sitting around, and we had been talking about how bored we were with COVID. I told them I had been messing around with woodworking
again and they encouraged me to go into business for myself. That next day I started posting items for sale. #18 What did your initial business plan look like
I didn’t have a huge plan. In the
beginning, it was to just sell some things online because I was bored. Then my ambition started to grow quickly. My husband was my biggest supporter and backer. I am so lucky to have him by my side.
“Trying to balance everything is extremely hard being a female entrepreneur. Always having eyes on you to make sure you have your home in line, dinner ready for everyone, and still have time to run.”
“We have 32 women and minority vendors all within the boutique.”
Tell us a little bit about yourself and Luna Reflections Design. I am a busybody. I work 2 nursing jobs and do all the mom and family things. Luna Reflections Design LLC started as a creative outlet and soon turned into an obsession.
What made you decide to open your own business? I wanted to use my passion to create a secondary income for my family.
What makes you hustle?
Knowing that my daughter is watching. I am leading by example that women can go after anything they want.
Who are some of the strong women that you feel have inspired you, especially to create your own business? There are so many inspiring women out there that influenced me to open my own business that I never give credit to just a few without acknowledging the many who paved the way.
When did the entrepreneur bug bite you?
I think ever since I was a young girl I wanted to own a business. I would play a shopkeeper when I was a child. I would walk around with a pencil and paper taking inventory of items around my grandparent’s house. Pricing items and trying to figure out how each one would benefit a customer.
Tell us about some of your goals and dreams for you personally and professionally.
My business goals are to continue to grow and offer my customers new items and be featured on more storefronts. I would like to grow my business to a level of success that
even in our current time women are often underestimated in the business world.
What is your favorite way to promote your business that generates the best results?
I utilize online social media platforms most frequently when marketing but I have learned the best results come from word of mouth and networking.
If you could do one thing you have never done before what would it be and why?
If I could spend some time completely off-grid in nature I would. The calm and peacefulness would be very welcome.
What are some of the things you find help you to be successful at what you do?
allows me financial freedom.
What are some of the pros and cons of being a female entrepreneur?
There are many benefits to being a female entrepreneur, such as being able to utilize a network of strong women as your network. A con is that
Learning how to prioritize time was key to success. Working in small pockets of time allowed me to accomplish more daily without sacrificing too much personal time. I also learned to ask an expert. I utilize people that have more expertise than myself as well, they always bring a fresh perspective.
What is one piece of advice you have been given that you have never forgotten?
There have been so many pieces of advice I have been given but the one thing I always remember is my grandmother telling me “They will never walk your path or in your shoes, so do what is best for you, people will either walk beside you or they won’t”
If you had to pick one service/product that you would consider your “specialty” what would it be and why?
My printed t-shirts are most definitely what I do best.
What’s the most important risk you have ever taken? How did it play out for you?
The biggest risk was investing in the equipment I needed to produce quality prints for the t-shirts I offer.
I am sure you were excited and overwhelmed to take on owning your own business, and creating your products. What have you found to be challenging? What do you feel you have been successful at?
Overwhelmed is an understatement. So many hours have been spent researching techniques and processes.
I focused most on printing vibrant colors and the techniques to achieve that. I have found success in the quality of my printed shirts.
What is your vision for the future? Where do you see yourself in the next 3 years? What about 5 years?
to larger stores.
Tell our audience something people may not know about you.
Well, I can not share my secrets.
Where will we see you next?
Possibly in your favorite local shop. Hopefully, people will begin to recognize my designs that their friends and family are wearing or carrying one of my tumblers around.
My vision for the future is to have my own branded t-shirts and products. I am currently working on Luna Reflections Design branded candles.
I would love to own my storefront in the next 3 years. In 5 years it would be amazing to offer wholesale products
“I wanted to use my passion to create a secondary income for my family.“
TALKS }
Pain is the number 1 reason for doctor visits in the U.S. More than 100 million Americans are reported to suffer from chronic pain. This is more than a combination of all people with diabetes, heart disease, cancer, dementia, and stroke. There is a difference between acute pain and chronic pain. Acute pain happens immediately and lasts for a short time. Examples include stubbing your toe, a car accident, or a headache. Acute pain is typically accompanied by an accident or injury.
Chronic pain can be intermittent or persistent but will last longer than three months. Chronic pain can accompany a diagnosis including but not limited to Fibromyalgia, TMJ, or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Arthritis, Rheumatoid, or Osteo, can also create pain throughout the body. Did you know that there is a connection between stress and chronic pain? Throughout this article, we will discuss the connection and what you can do to lessen your chronic pain.
The autonomic nervous system is composed of 2 phases, the sympathetic & parasympathetic nervous systems. The parasympathetic nervous system is your “rest and digest” phase. During this phase, our body heals and rebuilds. Our digestive process begins and works appropriately during this phase. This
process happens during your sleep or during moments in life when you are relaxed. The sympathetic nervous system is also called the “fight or flight” nervous system. This system takes control when you are running away from a tiger. Unfortunately, the body does not know the difference between running away from a tiger and meeting a deadline at work. Stress is stress to the body. When
when you are stressed is not advisable. Another side effect of the sympathetic nervous system is chronic muscle tension or protective muscle tension. Let’s first define stress. Stress is any change that causes physical, emotional, or psychological strain. This could be anything from a wedding or work deadline to an accident or divorce. Stress can also come in the form of a perception of how we perceive life or a situation. The body does not know the difference between a snake in the grass or our misinterpretation of a rope in the grass; it only perceives a threat.
your sympathetic nervous system is in drive, your heart rate elevates, your pupils dilate, and non-essential body systems shut down (including your digestive system & your immune system). The brain shuts down the small tasks to focus on the large task: like running away from the tiger. This is why making significant decisions
So how does stress link to chronic pain? The sympathetic nervous system causes subconscious protective muscle-holding patterns. When we are under constant stress, perceived or actual, the body holds on to chronic muscle tension. Over long durations of time, your muscles become fatigued and inefficient. This can lead to chronic neck pain or back pain. Chronic stress also leads to chronic cortisol release in the blood stream. Long-term, this spikes your blood sugar, causing chronic inflammation, which weakens your immune system. The more stressed you are, the more interrupted your sleeping pattern, which delays the healing process of the body, stimulates
more inflammation and makes us less tolerable to pain. This begins the vicious pain cycle.
Chronic stress --> subconscious muscle guarding --> muscle pain --> trigger points --> nerve impingement and shortened muscles --> restrictive movements --> increased pain --> decreased sleep --> inability to cope with pain --> more stress.
What can you do to improve your stress and decrease your pain?
Exercise: Believe it or not, movement is the best medicine for chronic pain. You can skip an intense exercise program. You can start with an exercise program to increase your mobility and strength. Beginners Yoga, Tai chi, or just walking outside are great ways to start an exercise program. Too much intensity, in the beginning, can lead to increased cortisol and increased risk of injury.
some help? There are amazing apps with daily meditations. You can also find meditations on YouTube. Just find a nice quiet place, free from distraction, and hit play! Studies show it takes at least eight weeks of daily mindfulness practice to reap the rewards, so hang in there!
Talk to Someone: Finding a good friend, support group, or professional to talk to can be life-altering. Having someone to relate to can make this world not feel so lonely. It is important to confide in
bedtime is a great start. Getting morning sunlight, dropping the temperature of your room, and turning off your devices an hour before bed can improve your sleep. Start a bedtime routine. We can combine many of our tips into your nightly regimen. Turn off your computer or TV an hour before bed, do some gentle yoga, take a nice soak in the tub, and finish the night with a 5-10 minute guided meditation. You will be sleeping in no time!
Mindset:
Mindfulness can include perspective change, meditation, and a gratitude practice. All things that improve your everyday stress reduction. By changing your perspective, you change your body’s reaction to stress. You can respond to life with gratitude instead of reacting to life with chronic cortisol release and muscle tension. For meditation, it can be done in as little as 2 minutes. Just close your eyes and focus on your breath for 2 minutes. Do you need
someone trustworthy and supportive. There are many support groups and professionals that would be a great start. Make sure you connect with the person. It’s ok to shop around!
Improve your Quality of Sleep: Sleep is one of the most important things we can do for our health and our stress levels. When we are lacking sleep, we can not tolerate pain and our body does not have the opportunity to heal properly. There are many things you can do to improve your sleep. A regularly scheduled
Managing your chronic pain can be overwhelming. Wellness 360 has additional services to manage chronic pain including physical therapy and medical massage therapy. We specialize in treating neck pain & back pain. We also offer yoga & mindfulness classes. It is essential to start with one thing at a time. Stress management does not come by stressing yourself out! Pick one of the above options and implement it into your life. Once you implement one step, the other steps will fall into place. It is about making a conscious effort every day to show up for yourself. By changing your perspective, you can change your mindset. By changing your mindset, you can change your life. You are worth the self-care!
To read more about Welness 360 by checking out www.wellness360fitness. com
“Improve your Quality of Sleep: Sleep is one of the most important things we can do for our health and our stress levels.”
BY AMY BLISS
Other Fallacies… As the gift-giving season approaches, your excitement mounts with fingers crossed that this will be the year he finally gets it right.
Does this sound familiar? Morning has arrived and everyone is gathered dressed in their favorite holiday pajamas. There is wrapping paper everywhere. The kids are excitedly playing with whatever latest gadgets they have been begging for for months and your partner hands you a large, wrapped present with a smile, beaming with pride. You take the box, trying to hide from your face the thought “this box is WAY too big and FAR too heavy to be that bracelet I have been dropping hints about” while quietly saying a silent prayer that he just wrapped the little box inside a much bigger one. You then plaster a smile on your face as you unwrap a juicer (or wireless vacuum or fuzzy car seat covers or a piece of exercise equipment or…)
He excitedly says, “you said you wanted to make smoothies!” Or “you are always complaining about the vacuum cord not reaching!” Or “you say you hate sticking to the car seats in the summer and don’t like how cold they are in the winter!” Or “you always say you want to workout, but don’t have time to get to the gym. Now you can do it here!” You tell him how much your love it and how thoughtful he is, while trying desperately to hide your growing disappointment and frustration.
How could he get it so wrong?? Again?!? You start thinking about every birthday
gift. Every anniversary. Every time you have admired your friend’s necklace within earshot of him. Every time you have commented on a fragrance when passing someone wearing it. Every time you’ve said in passing “gifts should come from the heart and not necessarily practicality.” And yet, here you are with your shiny new slow cooker or blanket or garden tool. Then to add insult to
more and more about our partners as time goes on? Of course we do! And humans are complex creatures. No one else will ever truly know all of our thoughts and desires. Which is arguably a very good thing. I know I definitely have thoughts that I am thankful no one can read!
But it goes far beyond this ridiculous expectation. Men are conditioned to believe that they are just supposed to know. Which is largely where this idea that they are mind readers and should know about every want and desire we have, comes from. Women are conditioned to believe this as well. To make things even more difficult, it is considered a weakness – something they have been taught to avoid like the plague – to ask questions. Questions imply that they don’t know. And they are supposed to know. Do you see the circular trap here?
injury, your sister shows up for dinner raving about the earrings or leather coat or weekend getaway that her partner got her. Great, you think. Just great. As you reluctantly show her your new…
So why does this keep happening? The short answer is, like us, men are, in fact, NOT mind readers. This idea that the person you have chosen to spend your life with should “just know” is unrealistic and frankly, unreasonable. Do we learn
To make matters worse, men are also conditioned to be the fixer. He is supposed to ride in and save the day. Knowing exactly what to do without asking a single question. Including the all-important question, “do you actually want him to fix it?”
The thing is, he IS listening. Since he can’t ASK you, he has to figure it out in other ways. So, he pays attention to what you say and how important it seems to you in the moment. You have probably been FAR more vocal about the situations that lead to the practical gift than you were in your subtle,
probably VERY subtle, hints on what you actually wanted. He was listening every time you mentioned how much you wish you could make smoothies at home. Or every time you swore under your breath that the vacuum cleaner cord is too short. He HEARD you. In his conditioned role as The Fixer he is thinking about ways to make your life easier. Because he wants your life to be easier.
What about us? Women are conditioned to not ask for what we want. Asking for something makes us seem selfish and greedy. We are supposed to put everyone else’s wants and needs before our own. Great strides have been made to undo much of this. But while we have learned to put ourselves first at times, ASKING someone else for something? That’s a whole different ball of wax and is still very difficult for many of us. Hence the subtle little hints we hope and pray he will pick up on.
So here you are. He won’t ask what you want – he can’t look weak or show you that he doesn’t know. And you can’t bring yourself ask for what you want and appear to be selfish or greedy.
Now you may be pushing back on some or all of this. I get it. It doesn’t feel good.
Or you may be saying, “I have no issues asking for what I want!” Or “I know he can’t read my mind!” Here’s the thing about conditioning, it’s deep. It started at birth and is largely unconscious and insidious. You may not even realize how much you are still holding on to. Evidenced by the fact that you are now holding your brand new juicer.
So what can you do?? The short answer is: tell him what you want. I know, easier said than done. And this may be a bit tricky depending on how many years the practical gifts have been coming. You don’t want to shame him for trying. And he is trying.
Start by telling him that you know how much effort he puts into figuring out what you want. That you know he is listening and you appreciate that about him. That you haven’t been great in your dropping of hints. Or that those weren’t as loud as your grumblings in the moment. Then say that you have an idea to take the guesswork out it. And would he like to talk about it. I’d hazard to guess this will be met with a sigh of relief and a resounding “YES!” Remember, he wants to please you.
Now maybe you don’t want to tell him something specific as you desire some level of surprise and/or him to put some of himself into the gift. So talk about it. Ask him if he wants you to tell him exactly what you want. Or would he rather select from a list of a few things? Maybe you could leave little wish lists, personal registry of sorts, at shops that would allow that – think boutiques and stand-alone businesses. Maybe your local jeweler would be happy to keep a piece of paper with your name and a few item numbers on it for him to come in and chose from later. Maybe you window shop together and make a day of it. Amazon has shareable “wish lists.” You can get as creative as you want with this.
It’s a win-win. You get what you want and he has the satisfaction of knowing he’s
making you happy. That he got it right. And maybe, just maybe, this will start a trend of being able to communicate what you want in other areas… ~~~~~~~~~~~
Amy Bliss, JD, MBA, is the founder of The Warrior cOre, which offers coaching, workshops, men’s groups and retreats to help men identify and shed the conditioning from family, society, religion, educational systems and culture, of what a man is “supposed to be” and learn to live as the humans they are, independent of these constraints. To connect, please visit thewarriorcore. com or schedule a Discovery Call at https://amybliss.as.me/
NOTE: To all non-binary readers – this and other articles are written from a binary and usually heterosexual perspective, not to be exclusionary, but rather because our conditioning is binary. It starts with the proclamation “It’s a girl!” or “It’s a boy!” Other ways of being generally show up well after these statements and long into the conditioning. The other reason is that non-binary, non-hetero identifying people tend to be much further along in the process of undoing conditioning than those who identify as binary and/or hetero.
“As the gift-giving season approaches, your excitement mounts with fingers crossed that this will be the year he finally gets it right.”
Simply put, businesses need business insurance because it helps cover the costs associated with property damage and liability claims. Business insurance refers broadly to a class of insurance coverage intended for purchase by businesses rather than individuals. Businesses will seek insurance to cover potential damage to property, to protect from lawsuits, or contract disputes.
It’s especially important for small business owners to carefully consider and evaluate their business insurance needs because they may have more personal financial exposure in the event of a loss. If a business owner does not feel he or she has the ability to effectively assess business risk and the need for coverage, they should work with a reputable, experienced and licensed insurance broker. You can obtain a list of licensed agents in your state through your state’s department of insurance or the National Association of Insurance Commissioners.
Business Insurance: Basic Facts
FACT #1: Nearly every business can benefit from Commercial General Liability Insurance.
BY ANGEL BUNCE I PHOTO BY LUKE LAPORTA
FACT #2: General Liability Insurance helps pay for expenses related to lawsuits (lawyer’s bills, evidence costs, witness fees, damages owed to the party suing you, etc.).
FACT #3: General Liability Insurance
insurance because, among other things, it covers lawsuits when someone is injured at your store or on your property.
FACT #5: General Liability Insurance isn’t usually required by law, but it is required in many business contracts and rental leases.
FACT #6: Many small businesses buy General Liability Insurance packaged with Property Insurance through a bundled policy called a Business Owner’s Policy.
When you’re ready to get started with an insurance plan for your business, reach out to us for a free quote and we’ll be happy to help! Call or text us 585-861-2002 Best Regards,
only pays for lawsuits filed against your business by third parties (i.e., people your business doesn’t employ).
FACT #4: General Liability Insurance is sometimes called “slip-and-fall”
CHRISTMAS
(That are guaranteed to get you in the holiday spirit)
Dear Travelista’s, It’s that time of year again and boy oh boy I cannot wait! I get the itch to put our Christmas decorations up the day after Halloween. Don’t get me wrong, my family loves Thanksgiving and I mean no disrespect to The Bird. However, there is no real harm in delighting in turkey and mashed potatoes (......and sauce, meatballs, lasagna, Italian bread etc, etc, etc... but that’s another column) while my Christmas Tree is showing off it’s glorious self in the family room is there? There’s nothing we enjoy more during the holiday season than snuggling up with a fuzzy blanket, a cup of cocoa, and watching our favorite Christmas movie in front of a crackling fire. Sigh. Christmastime is magical and these destinations are sure to inspire and enchant even the grumpiest Ebenezer Scrooge.
So my darling travelista, if you’ve always wanted to step into a Hallmark Movie, if you are looking for the holiday magic, if you’re in search of that feeling you had as a child on Christmas Eve, these destinations are for you. Grab your cocoa, let’s go. Prague, Czech Republic is at the top of our list for one of the best and most romantic holiday destinations in the world. Known for being magical all year round, Prague becomes even more
spectacular at Christmas time. The vast number of Christmas markets set against the backdrop of gothic medieval architecture gives it a timeless elegance that is sure to inspire your Christmas spirit.
Here, the Christmas markets are abundant, and you’ll want plenty of time to explore them all. The main markets are held at the Old Town Square and Wenceslas Square which are about a 5
Stop and roast marshmallows by one of many outdoor fireplaces while you listen to Christmas Carols performed by school choirs or folk groups dressed in traditional costume. Take time to visit the stables to pet and say hello to sheep, goats, and donkeys. If traditional holiday music is your thing, don’t miss out on a concert in one of Prague’s famed churches like St. George’s Basilica or St. Clement’s Cathedral.
While you shop and take in the ambience, sample traditional Christmas delicacies such as Prague Ham, Czech grilled sausages, potato pancakes, and hot roasted chestnuts. Later, indulge in treats such as spicy gingerbread or Trdelnik which is a hot sweet pastry dough wrapped around a stick and topped with sugar and walnuts and sometimes filled with chocolate or ice cream. Thirsty?
minute walk from one another. Walking along these charming streets you can shop for everyone on your list. The wooden huts along the lane are filled to the brim with local handcrafted gifts, ornaments, and holiday decor.
There’s things like hand knit mittens and scarves, puppets and dolls dressed in traditional finery, blown glass ornaments, hand embroidery, wooden toys, ceramics, candles and so much more.
You’ll have your choice between Czech beers, hot apple cider, mulled wine, chocolate cocoa, honey wine, Christmas punch, or grog which is a mixture of rum, water, lemon, and sugar.
We’ll take one of each please! Isn’t shopping even more delightful with a beverage in hand?
At the stroke of every hour the magnificent twinkling Christmas tree in the town’s
main square will erupt in a stunning audio visual show with music and thousands of lights. It’s truly a magnificent sight to behold.
We may be a bit biased ( living in New York and all) but our debut Christmas destination column wouldn’t be complete if it didn’t include New York City. Who doesn’t remember Miracle on 34th Street, Kevin McCallister in Home Alone 2, or more recently Elf in New York City at Christmas? In 2006, I happened to be living in Manhattan and I can tell you that NYC at Christmas time should be on every Christmas lover’s bucket list. Let’s start at the very beginning, a VERY good place to start, with the spectacular Holiday shows. NYC is the epicenter of live entertainment and holiday shows are no exception. There’s something for everyone from the famed Radio City Christmas Spectacular at Radio City Music Hall, to The Nutcracker, to Charlie Brown Christmas, to A Christmas Carol. There’s holiday themed illusionist shows, comedy shows, and countless concerts. Don’t forget to check out the Trans-Siberian Orchestra: The Ghosts of Christmas Eve, The Annual Christmas in New York at Carnegie Hall, Harlem Gospel Choir: Christmas Eve Matinee and Cirque Dreams Holidaze. If you’re traveling with little ones, grab tickets
to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: The Musical. There is no shortage of holiday entertainment in the hustling, bustling, city that never sleeps.
Lights! Camera! Action! Did I mention lights? More importantly, twinkle lights. Lovers of neighborhood holiday light displays will definitely want to take the time to visit Dyker Heights in Brooklyn. Here you can experience the most beautiful light displays around. You can visit on your own or you can book one of the fantastic Holiday Light tours available. For even more of a holiday wow don’t miss the Empire State Building Light Show and of course the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree. The Tree Lighting Ceremony takes place right after Thanksgiving and signifies the beginning of the holiday season. One especially fabulous sight is to see the
lights in NYC from above. Whether it’s from the top of the Empire State Building (which always reminds me of An Affair to Remember, Cary Grant anyone?), Rockefeller Center, or a rooftop bar, it’s a sight unlike any other. Be sure to put the Bronx Zoo Holiday Lights, Central Park Holiday Lights, Lightscape at Brooklyn Botanic Garden and the Amaze Light Festival at the New York Mets stadium on your bucket list as well. They are sure to amaze!
Grab your cocoa, don your Jackie O’s, hit up your favorite New York bakery for a specialty Christmas cookie, prepare for crowds, and let’s hit the shops. Oh and you’ll need comfortable shoes, it is NYC after all… there’s a lot of walking! NYC has some of the most over the top holiday decorations imaginable and some of the most incredible places to shop for Christmas. Stroll with your cookies and cocoa and take in those showstopping holiday window displays, light shows, and spectacular decor. From the Saks Fifth Avenue Light Show, to Rolf’s Restaurant in Gramercy Park, to window displays at Bloomingdales, Saks, and Macys, some of this stuff you actually have to see to believe. Speaking of Macy’s, if you’re there with little ones, stop in at Santaland which is a Christmas Wonderland for kids of all ages right in the department store where you can meet the big guy (Santa Claus) himself.
“Step back into times of old and enjoy the charming re-creation of traditional Christmas markets as you stroll along the 100 or so quaint German style vendor huts that truly are a one stop shop for those unique holiday gifts.”
Bryant Park Winter Village in Midtown Manhattan is home to one of the nicest Christmas Markets in New York. The centerpiece of this lovely winter village is the 17,000 square foot ice skating rink that boasts free admission ice skating, rental skates, and even free skating shows and events. Here at Bryant Park Winter Village you can find a European style Holiday Market that features lovely crafts and unique gifts from New York and all over the world. After shopping, watch ice skaters while you grab a bite to eat and sip on a festive cocktail at one of the many food stalls. Oh yeah, and did I mention, there’s a Christmas Tree here too?
No list would be complete without including Union Square Holiday Market, as it is widely known as the ultimate holiday destination in NYC. Here you can find affordable, high quality, lovely gift options for everyone on your list from over 160 vendors. Bring an appetite with you as there are also many options for delicious snacks and treats along the way.
Finally, stop at Ralphs Coffee on 160 5th Avenue to grab a latte before taking a walk in Central Park. There, skate at Wollman Rink, and stop at the smallest of the NYC Christmas Markets, Columbus Circle Holiday Market. End your evening with a horse drawn carriage ride through Central Park. I think that is on everyone’s NYC bucket list isn’t it? What better time to tick it off than during the holidays?
Sleigh bells ring, are you listening, in the lane, snow is glistening a beautiful
sight, we’re happy tonight, walking through Quebec City Wonderland. With its colonial French Architecture, charming cobblestone lanes, white fluffy snow, and sparkling lights, Quebec City definitely takes the iced cake for one of the finest Christmas towns in Canada. Here you can find a large traditional European Christmas market full of festive shops and boutiques, delicious food (think mulled wine, bratwurst, gingerbread, the famous giant European hot dog and more!) and of course the ambiance is so magical, you’ll feel like you’ve stepped straight into a Thomas Kincaid painting. Oh, and put on plenty of layers, it’s gonna be COLD!
Step back into times of old and enjoy the charming re-creation of traditional Christmas markets as you stroll along the 100 or so quaint German style vendor huts that truly are a one stop shop for those unique holiday gifts. These adorably decorated wooden kiosks hold tons of original gift ideas for the entire family. There’s everything from handmade fine jewelry, to small ceramic houses that diffuse signature fragrances, to knit items, to hand carved wooden bowls, chess boards, and tables.
There’s traditional arts and crafts from Germany, incredible paintings, and rows and rows of glittering Christmas trees. Don’t forget to stop for the famous gingerbread from Nuremberg and other delicious German Christmas Cookies. Of course no trip to Canada would be complete without bringing home handcrafted organic maple syrup products.
For your family foodie, it’s impossible to name all of the delicious treats available. There’s Quebec cheese fondues, jams, jellies, fruit syrups, cream of apples, belgian waffles with buttercream caramel, authentic German cakes, the highest quality olive oils, belgian dark chocolate, and homemade macaroons, You can find nuts, candies, hot chestnuts, caramelized and chocolate almonds. Then there’s nougat, meringue marshmallow, churros, spices, wines, hot cocoa, coffee and many other delights. This column is making me hungry!
If you’re looking for Christmas music, starry light displays, outdoor fireplaces to keep warm, decorated Christmas trees, and even spontaneous performances, Old City Quebec is where you need to stop at Christmas time. Every building in the square sparkles with lights. There’s wreaths, reindeer, and garlands galore. The little ones can make maple taffy, and take part in many of the free activities for children. You can walk along storefronts and admire the boutique window displays. A trip here wouldn’t be complete without walking into or attending mass at NotreDame de Quebec Basilica Cathedral. One of the most beautiful churches I’ve ever beheld, it is nestled in the heart of Old Quebec and is said to be one of the oldest churches in Canada, established in the 1600’s. We suggest checking the hours of operation before you go so you can have plenty of time to tour the stunning architectural masterpiece.
Known as the capital of Christmas, this cozy holiday hotspot makes you feel like you are literally stepping into a living
“A visit to Vienna during Christmas Time wouldn’t be complete without purchasing your very own authentic schneekugel or snow globe.”
Christmas card. With 0ver 300 market stalls, the smell of French pastries in the air, and Christmas decorations around every corner, Strasbourg France is a must for anyone looking for Christmas perfection.
Going back to 1570, Strasbourg France claims to have the oldest Christmas market in Europe. We’re not sure if it’s the oldest but it is certainly one of the largest.
The Christmas market, called Christkindelsmarik, takes place in over 11 different locations within the town. In this magical fairyland you can find ice skating, a carousel and other children’s rides, Christmas trees lining cobblestoned lanes, and twinkle lights tastefully draped across centuries old buildings. This Christmas market is jam packed with events and our favorite is the Paye ton Noel. This one-of-a-kind Christmas event combines music, street art, games of all kinds, hands on workshops, and more, in a lovely and festive atmosphere. The warm, cozy old fashioned feeling can be felt right down to your mistle toes. I don’t know about you and we’ll have to cover my Italian grandmother’s ears (both of them), but there is nothing as decadent as an authentic French pastry. Stop in a cafe for coffee, a baguette style sandwich, and finish with a luscious pastry. We have no idea how you’ll choose just one because they all look sinful!
L’ATELIER 116 STRASBOURG FRANCEIf you’re visiting with mini travelista’s be sure to check out the many hands-on events and activities for children. There’s workshops, shows, and events especially for the little ones such as a treasure hunt to learn about Christmas traditions. Each step reveals another clue to find Father Christmas’ hiding place. Each family sets off on their adventure with a logbook containing questions and the route through the village.
The event finishes off with hand passed gingerbread for all. Children get to meet St. Nicholas as he steps off a horse-drawn carriage and afterwards, if they’re good, they receive delicious mannele, gingerbread, clementines, and other treats from the big guy.
While you stroll the picture perfect village and shop you’ll be able to enjoy
spontaneous performances from local french choir groups, violinists and other musicians, as well as children’s singing groups. There’s a gorgeous nativity scene, advent concerts, and even an ice ballet called The Great Christmas Circus on Ice. The Christmas village is incredibly charming. It’s so chic in its Christmas dress that it feels undeniably french. You can hear the church bells chime, and smell the cinnamon spice in the air. Every shop window is elegantly and tastefully adorned with a slightly different Christmas theme. There’s a style and chicness you won’t find anywhere but France. So don your favorite cavalier boots, cashmere sweater, and timeless camel coat with your camera in hand and snap that perfect instagram photo in this winter-fairytale Christmasland. A Votre Sante!
With Italian and German influences Vienna is enchanting year round but just positively comes alive at Christmastime. The bells are jingling, the lights are twinkling and it is absolutely the stuff that Christmas market dreams are made of. The old town charm is the perfect backdrop for the glittering golden glow of the many markets you’ll find in Vienna. There’s lit up palaces, a ferris wheel, walking gardens, rides and activities for children, shops featuring local artists, and so much more.
There’s plenty to boast about when it comes to a Viennese Christmas market and there are a lot of different markets within the city. A few of the most popular
“Are you dying to attend a traditional German Christmas market but aren’t traveling out of the country any time soon? The Christkindlmarket in Chicago is your answer!”
markets are Christkindlmarkt, Belvedere, Schonbrunn, Altes Akh, Freyung, and more!
Think cool, crisp winter air, the smell of potatoes, strudel, and fresh bread in the air. Sprinkle in some candied nuts, roasted chestnuts, and of course steaming mugs of punch and there you have just the beginning of this prized event that people near and far look forward to every year.
A visit to Vienna during Christmas Time wouldn’t be complete without purchasing your very own authentic schneekugel or snow globe. Vienna is the birthplace of those tiny spheres of magic invented in 1900 by Erwin Perzy. Today, Perzy’s grandson Erwin Perzy III, owns and operates the family company Original Vienna Snow Globes. These perfect gifts are hand painted, manually assembled, the actual globe is still made of glass, and there are over 350 designs to choose from. Vienna Christmas markets boast the best cheeses, breads, hot beverages, and cakes with the most unique flavors you may have never tried before. For the mini’s there are children’s activities like baking homemade christmas cookies and even candle making. One winter activity the Viennese are especially known for is ice skating and the opportunities to skate at the Christmas markets are abundant. There’s pop up ice skating rinks, rooftop skating rinks, and of course the Rathausplatz square.
The romance of Christmas in Vienna makes you feel like you’ve time traveled to 100 years ago, especially when you see the horse-drawn carriages.
Are you dying to attend a traditional German Christmas market but aren’t traveling out of the country any time soon? The Christkindlmarket in Chicago is your answer! As you journey through the lit up streets you are transported to times of old.
A blanket of snow, twinkle lights dancing to Christmas music, and over 150 food and craft stalls await you. This is widely considered the best Christmas market in America and it’s easy to see why!
This charming Christmas market boasts all of the favorite qualities of tradition right on our very own shores. There’s activities and events for every member of the family, many huts with interesting and unique gift ideas, cheerful entertainment and more! Don’t miss the live ballet performances, Christmas carolers, ice skating, and definitely don’t leave without enjoying hot spiced wine served in a famed traditional boot mug!
One thing that is so special about shopping at a Christmas market is the uniqueness of the gifts you’re able to purchase. These priceless, locally crafted, handmade items are so beautiful and different it’s unlikely you’ll be able to find them anywhere other than right where you’re standing at that moment. From hand carved wooden nativity scenes, to glass blown Christmas ornaments. Everywhere you turn there’s something that’s been carved, painted, or embroidered by hand. Supporting local artists and crafters is such a pleasure and the recipient of your purchase will
have been gifted something truly one of a kind.
As it’s modeled after a traditional German Christmas market you can expect to find lots of delicious traditional German cuisine and sprinkled into the mix you’ll find all-American “delicacies” too. We suggest you bring your appetite as there will be bratwursts, delicious soft pretzels stuffed with tasty fillings, pierogies, and more!
While you’re there check out DonerMen, the best place to find signature German street food in Chicago. At the German Grill you’ll find different kinds of sausages, sliced pork loaf, fried potatoes, potato pancakes, smoked pork loin, and much more. Of course there’s also the typical American festival fare from tacos to fried chicken sandwiches to pizza. End the evening with candied nuts, Belgian chocolate covered fruit, gingerbread, authentic strudels and puffs, and other holiday pastries, cakes, and cookies, Prost!
If you’re near Bruges this holiday season don your fabulous winter ensemble and head to Winter Glow! What is Winter Glow, you ask? It is the collective name of all the holiday experiences available in Bruges, Belgium and let us assure you, there’s plenty to light your Christmas fire. Imagine a twinkle light walking trail in a true
Christmas Town that only exists (or so you may think) in your wildest Christmas dreams. Holiday shopping in the Christmas market with music and light shows to delight you.
This much
“What is Winter Glow, you ask? It is the collective name of all the holiday experiences available in Bruges, Belgium and let us assure you, there’s plenty to light your Christmas fire.”
anticipated annual winter event includes ice skating, shopping, performances, treats, and of course a mug of steaming hot spiced mulled wine. While you’re there (no doubt staring in awe at the gorgeously decked out architecture) don’t leave without grabbing a traditional Belgian Waffle or stopping by a winter bar! One especially favorite treat is a speculoos which is a spiced shortbread cookie.
Though it’s smaller than some other Christmas markets in Belgium it definitely packs a big enough punch to be worthy of a stop there. Most of the action is centered in Grote Markt which is Bruges main square. With fairytale touches like horse-drawn carriage rides this is the perfect place to bring your sweetheart for a romantic holiday outing. Walk along the canal with a heavenly treat from a local Belgian Chocolate shoppe and shop for your friends and family while you take in the Christmas grandeur You’ll find things like knit items, luxury bath products, nutcrackers, candles, nativity scenes, delightful local christmas decor, and of course toys and Christmas ornaments.
Take the little ones to the Christmas themed carnival area. There you will find carnival games, rides, events, entertainment, and mountains of toys.
When it comes to celebrations, Disney doesn’t do anything by half measures and Christmastime is no exception. There really is just something different about Disney. The magic is out in full force during the holiday season. From snow in Florida (every half hour! It’s actually soap, believe it or not!) to the majestic castle, there’s Christmas decor at every glance, in every
park, and in every hotel. The holiday music, the sparkling lights, the parties and celebrations, the treats and the smells of cinnamon, sugar, and chocolate wafting through the air are sure to make the child within you smile with delight.
Every November Walt Disney World transforms into a winter wonderland that is the rival of all other theme parks and it’s no surprise. Disney literally has employees working on holiday celebrations, food, decor, music, parties, and events 365 days a year. Magic Kingdom is by far the most decked out in Christmas cheer.
It also holds the very coveted Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party (unlimited cocoa and snickerdoodle cookies anyone?) and Minnie’s Once Upon a Christmastime Fireworks (those castle projections!). Combine that with Santa meet and greets, exclusive entertainment and treats, and meeting your favorite Disney characters all dressed up for the holidays and you’ve got the exact recipe for Christmas perfection.
Cheerful festivals and events are happening all over the parks. EPCOT’s International Festival of the Holidays is not to be missed if you love seasonal eats and treats, decor, and sounds. Epcot also has a Holiday Cookie Stroll and a Candlelight Processional presented nightly by a different celebrity narrator from late November to late December. You can also look forward to holiday entertainment around the World Showcase while you sip on that spiked eggnog.
Hollywood Studios and Animal Kingdom also have much going on this Christmas season. Hollywood Tower Hotel is transformed every night with holiday projections, stop and enjoy the Santa Claus
Motorcade, and the Merry Menagerie in Animal Kingdom is a one of a kind experience.
We can’t mention Walt Disney World at Christmas without mentioning the resorts. All of the resorts decorate for the holidays and they all for the most part stick with their resort theme. None in my opinion are as beautiful as the Grand Floridian.
Truly it is grand in every way. As if the elegant and charming decor isn’t enough there’s also an enormous Christmas Tree and a lifesize gingerbread house every single year right in the lobby of the resort. Every year it’s different and amazingly creative.
Honorable mentions for Christmas decor are Disney’s Wilderness Lodge and Disney’s Animal Kingdom Lodge. Truly they’re spectacular. If you’re near Orlando but don’t want to buy a ticket to the parks, stop into Disney Springs for some holiday treats, shopping, and to meet Santa Claus. There will be live musical performances, Toy Soldier Stiltwalkers and Snowflake Skaters to delight one and all. Once the sun sets, expect to see some snow flurries for that extra added touch of magic.
So there you have it! Our picks for some of the most wonderful places to visit around the world this holiday season. Are there more? Oh yeah. Will I highlight 1o more next year? Stay tuned.
“When it comes to celebrations, Disney doesn’t do anything by half measures and Christmastime is no exception.”
It’s getting to be that time of year! Where the word “charity” is a word we hear being thrown around a lot.
We all know what the word means, but did you ever actually look up the definition for charity?
I was curious, so I did! The first description of what charity means is “an organization set up to provide help and raise money for those in need.”
There certainly are a lot of those around during this time of year, aren’t there? All of them with a good premise, to help and raise money for those in need!
Since there are so many worthy causes out there, how do you decide which one you want to help out? Unfortunately, due to the economy this year, we may be finding ourselves limited to who we can help!
Or perhaps, we may even find ourselves on the side of ones who need help this year? Which brings me to the second description of charity.
Which is: “The voluntary giving of help, typically in the form of money, to those in need.”
But what if you truly do not have the money this year to help others? Does this excuse you from charity since the first two descriptions seem to emphasize “money” being the key factor to charity?
I think not. To me, the last description encompasses charity for us all, rich or poor: “Kindness and tolerance in judging others.”
Maybe this year, because of hardships we are not accustom to, we will find ourselves at the mercy of someone’s charity to us.
Don’t get me wrong, money can definitely be the help needed, but does not the kindness and lack of judgement enhance the whole concept of charity?
Do we really need an adjective to describe one’s need for charity? I understand that these adjectives help us decide what cause we may want to contribute to because it may fall in line with our own beliefs.
Nothing wrong with that. What I am gently trying to remind us is that charity can be for all of us. Yes, even for those who may not look like they need charity.
Subconsciously, you may think that’s not fair. They have more than I. Why should I give them charity? If we take the monetary word tied to charity away, it leaves you with kindness. A lack of judgement.
How many times have we heard stories of people living on the street, with having nothing substantial tied to their name, and yet they produce an act of charity for another through kindness?
Kindness and love are the rare things still free in this world. Even if you find yourself short on cash this year, or even the recipient of charity, that’s ok! Because you still have within your means to contribute to charity back.
To help others, in causes similar to
your own, or even new causes you had never thought about with something we may feel is limited but we still have and that is… time!
Of course, time to volunteer in a charity comes quickly to mind, doesn’t it? Not so quick, because below the definition of charity I came across an old saying: “Charity begins at home.”
They then described that as meaning one’s first responsibility is for the needs of one’s own family and friends. Now, if this is not put in the proper context, it could come off as sounding selfish. Certainly not what we would associate charity with, right?
Let’s break down what they are saying: “The well-being of our family and friends is our responsibility.” To me, that almost sound likes a chore, right? A responsibility. Ok, so when I want to make a point I go back to the dictionary.
Responsibly: Moral, legal or mental accountability. Reliability, trustworthiness. Gee, how does that coincide with kindness and lack of judgement? To me, responsibility sounds sterile and judgmental. Like you are the only one who can morally, legally, or mentally take care of the needs of your family and friends.
My point is, if you feel that it is your responsibility, charity has been lost on you. Even more so if they are your family and friends because that should be just a given. What we need to look at are the friends of our friends. The family of our families. Pretty soon you realize eventually there are no strangers!
I like to believe in the good of mankind. Honestly, I don’t like the saying, “Charity begins at home.” Because, for the most part, people do want to help with charity, they just don’t know how.
Perhaps, during this time, we become overwhelmed with the desire to give charity for everyone but are hit with the hard realization we just can’t possibly do that, so why even bother?
When instead if we realize kindness and love comes in many forms and can be an endless source for charity, it becomes easier to accomplish.
Maybe this year we need to become more creative with our charity? Bake an extra pie for a lonely family member. Gather a bundle of wood for a neighbor. Help out at a local food drive. Throw together some milk and cookies, and simply have a game night with some friends.
If you always contribute to one organization for a charity, has that become your responsibility? Why not spread the love around? If you have a set amount every year for one particular charity, how about taking a little from it for a different organization?
And of course, a random act of kindness
for a stranger will always be the purest form of charity. There is no right or wrong for charity. All I’m saying is if it has become to feel like a responsibility, you have the power to change that!
When it comes down to it, charity should not be about money. I can guarantee you years from now that
really need to be reminded why that need is there? Can’t we just leave off the adjective of the need and address the need only?
Or perhaps, why not replace charity all together with the word love? Love can be many things. Time, money, effort, whatever it takes to make that person’s need fulfilled.
No, we cannot solve everyone’s needs, but we can give dignity back to people with the knowledge of them, knowing that what we are doing for them is out of love, not necessity or responsibility.
family member may not be able to remember what kind of pie you made, but they will remember the kindness behind the act!
Which in turn lets me talk about the judgement part of charity. When people have a need for charity, do they
“We all know what the word means, but did you ever actually look up the definition for charity?”
TIDBITS }
“All young people, regardless of what they look like, which religion they follow, who they love, or the gender they identify with, deserve the chance to dream and grow in a loving, permanent home.” - President Obama, National Foster Care Month 2015 Presidential Proclamation
The first thing you need to know is that there are a lot of youth in foster care.
It’s hard to pin down exactly how many youths are in foster care nationally, but experts estimate that there are nearly 400,000 children and youth in the system. Of these, ¼ are awaiting adoption and ¼ of those awaiting adoption age out of care without permanent families.
It’s no secret that LGBTQ youth are over-represented in the foster care system. This means that the percentage of youth in foster care who are LGBTQ-identified is larger than the percentage of LGBTQ youth in the general youth population.
LGBTQ youth also face disparities – differences in experiences in care or treatment by the system. Why are LGBTQ youth in foster care? They enter the foster care system for many of the same reasons as non-LGBTQ youth in care, such as abuse, neglect, and parental substance abuse. Many LGBTQ youth have the added layer of trauma that comes with being rejected or mistreated because of their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.
LGBTQ youth are more likely to be homeless and in foster care than their non-LGBTQ counterparts. The lack of affirming foster placement is one of the major reasons for this disparity. Even the most LGBTQinclusive agencies can struggle to find qualified foster parents who are ready and willing to welcome LGBTQ youth into their homes. Child welfare agencies must actively assess the readiness of current foster parents to affirm LGBTQ youth and include LGBTQ issues in foster parent training. Recognizing that LGBTQ adults are one potential group that could provide affirming foster homes for LGBTQ youth, agencies should engage LGBTQ adults who may be interested in becoming foster parents. So how do we prepare families to understand and support LGBTQ children? At Children Awaiting Parents, we help provide as much information and resources to a potential family as possible. We want to make sure that when you become a foster family for an LGBTQ youth, you are prepared.
Our goal is to make sure that each child in our care has access to the best possible care, whether it be through our programs or through the community. Having an open mind and understanding of the issues that LGBTQ youth face will help build a stronger bond between you and your foster child.
By understanding what it means to be an LGBTQ youth in foster care, we can work together to create change.
So, lets clear up some misconceptions. Many people think that LGBTQ+ youth are different from other youth, but they’re not. They want to go to school, hang out with friends, and have fun like anyone else. They want to be loved and supported by their family, just like you.
LGBTQ+ youth are not “just a phase.” They do not need to be fixed or changed. Their identity is not something that can be reversed—it’s just who they are.
The fact that you love them does not cause someone else’s LGBTQ+ identity. Nobody can change what makes someone else who they are, and nobody ever will!
People who identify as LGBTQ+ are not more likely to have mental health diagnoses or behavioral problems than other people—they’re just as normal as everyone else!
It’s important to remember that we all have the potential to be whatever we want to be, regardless of our gender or sexual orientation.
LGBTQ+ youth in foster care need nurturing homes where they feel safe and affirmed. They make up the highest percentage of children and youth in the child welfare and foster care systems, and they face serious risks beyond those experienced by heterosexual and cisgender youth. Disrupted placements and rejection by their families and other caregivers further increases the challenges and
vulnerability they face. If LGBTQ+ youth are to reach their full potential and grow into healthy, happy adults, they—like all youth in care—need families who can provide permanent, supportive, and affirming homes during their critical teenage years.
With a little additional education and training, your family can successfully provide a welcoming
home to LGBTQ+ youth in need of a permanent and loving family.
References:
1. LGBTQ Youth with a History of Foster Care | The Trevor Project
2. HRC-YouthFosterCare-IssueBriefFINAL.pdf
3. Understanding and Supporting LGBTQ Foster and Adoptive Parents
- The North American Council on Adoptable Children (nacac.org)
4. Supporting LGBTQ+ Youth: A Guide for Foster Parents - Child Welfare Information Gateway
“It’s hard to pin down exactly how many youths are in foster care nationally, but experts estimate that there are nearly 400,000 children and youth in the system.”
I threw away my Christmas village, when I rented a dumpster last month. I actually filled up this dumpster with Xmas trinkets, trophies and stuff I had saved thinking one day that its importance to me would create the normal I had always sought. I’ve come to recognize my entire life I’ve been searching for and saving up for the image of adulthood I kept hidden in my mind that would one day bring me the feeling I saw other people indulging in. In my childhood memory
I have stored a glimpse of a home filled with the smells of baked goods and the laughter of all my loved ones who come to gather with me, at the home I used to think would be my future. I must have seen it as a child in a movie and kept it as my “when I grow up” place. It was all the things my own childhood never had. I held onto possessions believing they held the magic of bringing me that Christmas that Folgers brought us every year, in a commercial. I added trinkets to my Xmas village, as if adding loved ones to my family.
I went antiquing with Ella recently where she pointed out some Xmas decor and villagers. She said I should add them to my village. I replied “I threw that in the dumpster with most of all the other decorations,too.” She looked at me, I think In disbelief. It isn’t what Christmas is, anymore. I used to decorate the house with a village, a tree. I had a menorah for my mothers Jewish roots. I made sure I utilized snowmen, Santa’s, reindeer, and above all I stressed the “spirit” of Xmas. We baked cookies and gave them away to mailmen, bus drivers and teachers. I
strung lights up the best I could, and I played all the Christmas music all the time. So much Ella made fun of me.
I bought gifts I could afford and created secret Santa and held kids parties. We counted down days on calendars we made with cotton balls and a little wooden Santa I had for years. We had a plate and cup each year we set out with cookies. But every year I felt the emptiness of not having the cookie cutter Xmas. My creativity to normalize the holidays seemed to be just the opposite. I’d make dinner and wait for Santa and
non-traditional way to celebrate. The decor became reminders of what you don’t have. Reminders of a childish dream of a normal life that others live, while you just pass by in the night sneaking a peek inside a window with a Christmas tree lit up, and folks sitting around an old woman reading a story to the kids, and everyone’s laughing and smiling. And as the car you’re in keeps going, you imagine that one day, that it’s your house they all come to. And that’s you sitting reading the story of Xmas gone by.
the kids would open gifts. My home never became the Central Park of NYC on Xmas or any other holiday as I’d imagined it was supposed to be. And none of the hand print ornaments, goofy Santa cards, shiny lights and small ceramic girls carrying tiny fake packages down a miniature street would make this my life as an adult.
I held onto things that only seemed to make the holiday that much more depressing, because as my children grew, they became less interested in my
I recognized a few things in my recent past, which led me to let go of things. Some possessions, and some crazy ideas of who I thought I was supposed to be. I am now the age to be the old woman reading those stories, yet I won’t be. I am now grown and the traditions are that of haphazard do what we can between scheduling of everyone I care about and want to see, and make it work. I want to be the person who celebrates Christmas, and doesn’t purchase it. And so for me, I got rid of what I thought Christmas was, and I want to begin anew.
Experience the spirit of that feeling that I thought as a child was wrapped up in what other people conveyed as happiness. Christmas to me is people, family and the time I want to take to embrace those moments I get to share with them. And even if I do it the day after or a week before, it doesn’t make it any less. I never needed the fake Xmas village, because I have my own filled with memories and loved ones. And that is the only Christmas decor I need.
“I’ve come to recognize my entire life I’ve been searching for and saving up for the image of adulthood I kept hidden in my mind that would one day bring me the feeling I saw other people indulging in.”
If you are anything like me, prioritizing your creativity sounds like a luxury you rarely find time to fit into your schedule. Being in a state of creative flow is what refuels us and gives us the energy to take on the challenges in life that we face, big and small. My poor therapist spends every session forcing me to look at my calendar realistically and literally schedule a time for me to do my art at the end of my session. (I love that she pushes me!) My husband begs me to do that for myself almost daily. Yet, I end up getting derailed by all the other “things” that pop up throughout the day because I haven’t yet mastered making my mental well-being non-negotiable. Sound familiar?
We recently got back from a two-week trip to Italy. I’ve wanted to go since I was five years old. Standing in my great grandma’s kitchen as she made the most amazing Italian dishes felt like I was seeing their homeland play out in her dining room. My great uncles shared stories and laughter over homemade wine, cheese, fruit, bread, and all forms of pork-based cold cuts. It was what I assumed pure joy looked like. Her house was filled with amazing smells too and I wanted to experience what their lives must have been like over there. In Italy, as we walked around eating gelato in the piazzas or having an un café or an amazing dish of carbonara, we happily observed their way of life. It felt laid back and was lead with a zeal for everyday experiences and interactions. Their deep sense of community and loving rituals left a lasting impression on me about how I’d like to live my life going forward.
When we feed our souls, we are doing our
own miracle work and living from a place of Divine love. A Course in Miracles states, “Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is the love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.” You have a divinely given birthright to experience those miracles and find your joy.
When we ignore the call from our souls to do the things we love and celebrate the everyday like the Italians we witnessed do, we choose to live life chaotically (like most people in our country). Most of us ended up becoming more stressed and anxious. We miss the little things, like how the fall leaves colors reflect off the calm water. Or how the cool breeze smells of freshly fallen leaves. Our hearts, instead of feeling contentment and in the moment, feel like they’re running a marathon. We are tapped out and can’t take on one more thing. Our stress cups (as my therapist refers to them as), are already overflowing. Adding more angst to that cup only adds to our inner pain and exhaustion.
How many times have you sworn you were going to turn your phone off or never look at social media or the news? I’ve personally lost count of my own calls to hide away in a cave somewhere where I’m unreachable and know nothing of the outside world’s craziness or what anyone needs from me. I’ve officially never found the cave anyway. Instead, we all continue doing what we’ve always done as women; be the one who solves all things, finds the keys, gets the kids to soccer on time and knows everyone’s birthdays to send out the cards on time. Don’t even get me started about the upcoming holidays. By the time everyone has gone to bed, you get to breathe.
Here’s the kicker, though. When we don’t show up for our creative voice, we can’t be fully our best selves. We show up as the half-drained shell of a human that could cry at the drop of a hat if one more thing lands on the to-do list. We have given those around us the clues that read as though we are continually available to them at our own expense. We then reinforce our own damaging self-beliefs that we come last. Martyrdom becomes our norm, and we wear it like a badge of honor. When we show up filled with resentment, people around us feel that and it slowly damages not only those relationships but our own level of self-love.
I was once the worst offender of this kind of self-loathing. I wasn’t mad at others. I was so mad at myself for not prioritizing my own joy through the act of creating. It had become so second-nature that I still slide back into that way of being when I’m not living mindfully. Especially in my new town where things have challenged the self-love practices, I had just gotten good at.
We currently live in a quiet area that is three hours from my family and most of my friends. Having to rediscover myself in a place that I sometimes feel disconnected from has me relearning how to be the person I had just become shortly before moving. I have had to allow myself to drop my pride and accept the loving hand my husband continually offers to me. Our role reversal has been a challenging adjustment for me but one that I’m now realizing probably resisted for decades. Now, it feels like we are equals and one heck of a great team. It’s too bad it took me so long to realize I’m deserving of that kind of love and support.
Surrounding ourselves with a team of people we trust and have our best interests at heart is a powerful tool. Take time to look around you and feel into who amongst those you know and love who can be that for you. You deserve that as much as I or anyone else does. It’s okay if you feel the need to start fresh and join a book club, take a class, or check out the local yoga studio to find folks that share your core values and cheer loudly for others’ success. When I call on them during my best times and my worst ones, I feel buoyed by their encouragement or their sitting with me through the hardest moments. It’s an allowance and a gift they give you to just “be.”
My therapist asked me just today what just “being” looked like to me? Luckily, I’ve asked myself that question countless times. It gave us time to develop a plan to make that reality for me by week’s end. I felt myself take a deep, cleansing breath when I physically put it on my calendar. What would that look like for you? Does it involve the phone on airplane mode and letting folks know that on Friday you will be taking four hours of time just for you to paint uninterrupted?
That scenario or something beautifully similar, is possible. Even if it’s just for a few minutes or a week or maybe two. Share that with someone you trust, and they may want to take up that practice for their own hearts, too.
Taking steps towards “me” time also involves loving boundaries around a self-love practice. Imagine yourself
inside of a bubble filled with bright, sparkling light that feeds your soul and honors your deepest wishes for your life. Would you allow anything negative or fear-based into that bubble? Probably not wittingly. When you find yourself in a position of choosing between your joy and self-sacrifice, reside in that bubble for a bit to weigh out whether you’d like it to come in and would it be of service to you and all others? If the answer is “no,” let it bounce off your bubble like a ping pong ball. If it’s a “yes,” welcome it in with loving arms for as long as it is of service to do so. You get to make that call. It also strengthens your ability to feel good about the boundaries you’ve created for yourself without having to explain them to a single soul. Just be sure that your boundaries not only honor you but also honor those they can affect. When we live from a place of pure love for ourselves and all others, your choices are received with respect and gratitude by people who truly care about us. The rest will fall away.
Marianne Williamson states that, “we are all meant to shine as children do.” Prioritizing your purpose and contentment can not only help you to shine but also lead others towards their own lights simply by honoring your own. Like I have said in almost every article; you are that powerful. You can be the catalyst for positive change. You just have to decide you are worthy of that peace and profound happiness (because you are!). You and I will continue to forge that path for ourselves and lead the way for others who are new on a journey towards prioritizing their creative side. Taking
time for things that renew hearts and strengthen our divine light not only makes us better human beings. It also sends genuinely needed love out into the world and our Universe. We become leaders towards something richer where those who were afraid before can now feel safe to just be themselves. It’s an expression of love that we are nurturing not only for ourselves but for all beings when we value our need to live the life we’ve been called to lead.
“Surrounding ourselves with a team of people we trust and have our best interests at heart is a powerful tool. ”
Lesson #5: Learn to
yourself.
Over the last 30 years of my life I was taught all about how to trust others. It started early, with learning how to trust my parents, teachers, and adults in general. Trusting that they would feed me, take care of me, and follow through with their promises. It wasn’t until I hit my late 20s that I realized I trusted others more than I trusted myself.
I realized this by chance when I was cleaning the kitchen and listening to an audiobook. The main character was contemplating a big decision she had to make and she asked herself “Do you believe in yourself?”. She needed to trust herself and believe that she could do what she needed to do to succeed, because in the end the only person who could make this succeed was herself. While listening to this book, I tried to answer the question for myself. But, I found myself hesitating.
Do I believe in myself? Do I trust in myself? My answer was not an instantaneous “yes” as I had hoped it would be.
I came to the heavy realization that I didn’t trust myself.
Why didn’t I trust myself? Because, I had felt that I let myself down many times over the years. I broke promises to myself, I didn’t follow through with what I said I would do, and I listened to the opinions of others more than my own. I would criticize
BY DEVAN ROBINSONmyself every day in the mirror and speak to myself in a way that I would never speak to anyone else. So, over time I trained myself to not trust myself. I was my own worst critic and that needed to change.
After noticing this, I had to do some serious soul searching. I had to break years of not trusting myself. I had to learn how to fully believe that I would take care of myself and do what I promised myself I would do. I had to learn to treat myself with compassion and kindness, just like I do with the other people in my life.
I had to know deep down that I can survive whatever comes my way. I had to give myself grace, space, and time to return to myself.
Other ways to notice if you don’t trust yourself are when you find that you are uncomfortable looking inward. You trust others’ opinions of you more than your own. You catch yourself thinking you aren’t good enough. When you are criticized you are harder on yourself than you should be. You seek external validation from others. You have a hard time making decisions, or completing tasks. You break promises to yourself. You are unable to find or value your own voice.
Once trust has been broken, it is hard to earn back. Have you ever lost your trust in someone in your life? How did they earn the trust back? Self-trust is a little different than trust from external sources, but it can be just as hard to increase.
Ways to earn your self-trust include:
● Increasing your self-compassion. Which means you need to be present, be kind to yourself, practice mindfulness and look inward without judgment.
● Work on connecting with yourself. Spend time with yourself. Find journal prompts, figure out your strength, increase your understanding of yourself & your worth. This is where a life coach, like me, can come in.
● Challenge your thoughts. Check in to make sure your thoughts are your own and not based on others opinions.
This all takes time, and if you need someone to help you with it, I am here for you. Reach out any time.
Just know that you are worth it and you are enough.
Warmly, Devan About the Author Devan Robinson is the author of “What’s Your Worth? And I Don’t Mean Money.”, motivational speaker, and life coordinator for women in leadership. She helps women gain confidence and understand their strengths so they can reach their goals without guilt, shame, or fear. When she isn’t working on changing the world, you can usually find her hanging out with her dogs, spending time with her husband, or watching Netflix. If you are interested in learning more about her, check out her website www.developingwithdevan.com.
There’s something magical about holiday cookies. The festive colors, the delightful shapes, and the delicious variety of tastes!
From the moment you set your eyes upon these treats the holiday spirit within you is stirred. And with that first bite, your favorite Christmas carol awakens from the corners of your mind. Before you know it you’re singing.
I asked my friends if they baked their own holiday cookies. I received a resounding ‘Yes!’
I was surprised by the vast array they shared, from lemon rosemary macaroons to classic cut-outs.
I thought I knew every variety of holiday cookie that was out there. After all, I was raised in an Italian family, where trays of cookies were revered before being devoured!
But when I asked my friends if they knew of any healthy alternatives to the sugar and butter laden cookies, I received hilarious responses.
Here they are. Forbidden recipes may stay forever hidden within the family tree. But most of these recipes can be found online. Add your own magical touch with a hint of lemon or almond or even, dare I say, anise.
David Gottfried bakes cut out cookies for the holidays. “I use anise, of course! In the frosting too… Much to the chagrin of my brother’s GF who hates that flavor. LOL”
I’m with your brother’s girlfriend, David! My mother used to make anise bars before they became a trendy (and pricy) coffee companion. They remind me of a strong apéritif like Pernod but everyone I know loves them.
Lisa Kay Moore’s favorites are lemon rosemary macaroons, followed by peanut butter balls, and matcha palmiers.
I had to look up matcha palmiers. They’re made with matcha tea! In a puff pastry. These are definitely on my ‘try out’ list.
I think I will pass on the lemon rosemary macaroons, Lisa but will definitely look up a peanut butter ball recipe! Yum.
Carolyn Clarke Drotar bakes pumpkin dog cookies (what???), oatmeal raisin, snickerdoodles, and fudge.
It appears that Carolyn bakes tasty treats for her dog! She also bakes cherry pie for her husband. I wonder if she would make you your favorite dessert?
Susie Wells bakes Italian Christmas cookies that are “simple drop cookies made with ricotta cheese, frosted with colored pareils”. She even shared the recipe: www.cookingclassy.com/Italianricotta-cookies.com
Susie also bakes fruit cake minis. BTW, she is an amazing cook! Her curried chicken is scrumptious!
Jane Hart makes star cutouts, fluffy fudgies, and … Italian ricotta cookies. I may have to try these out myself. Elizabeth Ingham’s favorite is “Krumkake (pronounced KROOM-ka-kah), a Norwegian cookie like a lighter pizzelle
flavored with cardamom. You can find the recipe at Allrecipes.com.
Mary Wray likes to bake “magic cookie bars, snowball cookies, and her mom‘s chocolate fudge pie” Her magic cookie bars are topped with coconut flakes.
Are you getting in the spirit now? I am!
Geri Billotti-Van Auker also makes cut out cookies and ricotta meatball cookies made with cocoa raisin nuts, and mini chocolate chips. And yes. They look like meatballs! She also makes lemon drops.
Thomas Wiegand likes to bake chocolate oatmeal, oatmeal chocolate chip, Chinese cookies, and spritz cookies plus Congo squares and peanut brittle.
Is that all Tom? I think there’s room for at least five more cookies on your list!
Deborah Pearce makes a lot of cookies for the holidays including “lemon ricotta, cuccidati, thumbprint, cut outs, and Strufoli”. These might be available in your favorite Italian recipe book!
I myself do my best to avoid processed foods like white sugar and gluten as well as dairy products. Although I’m not allergic to these foods, I am sensitive. It’s called a ‘gluten and dairy intolerance’.
When I eliminate these food products from my diet, I feel better, and have no problem maintaining a healthy weight. Something to consider. Maybe not during the holidays! But throughout the year.
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“Happy holidays everyone! Here’s to experiencing the joyful spirit within and without! Sugar or sugar-free.”
So when I asked my friends what healthy alternatives you had in your pocket for holiday cookies, these are the responses I received.
Thomas Wiegand “They’re all healthy aren’t they?” ….no
Geri Billotti-Van Acker “Oatmeal raisin?”
Maybe, Geri. I just made a batch and they’re typically loaded with sugar and butter. I substituted the white sugar with agave syrup and it was a delicious alternative!
Marianne Humphrey Schreyer “No.” Haha
Susie Wells “Haha - reindeer grass. Actually, meringue cookies are low calorie and have a small amount of sugar.” Take a look at ‘Best Meringue Cookie RecipeTasting Table.
I wonder, Susie, if reindeer grass would be sweet to eat? And if it could make you fly!
Charlene Duryea shared an image of gingerbread cookies, “Framed print. Looks Delicious & Calorie Free!”
Good one, Charlene! You don’t have
to eat them, just look at them.
Jane Hart says “There are some great vegan cookie recipes online!”
I guess we’ll have to start looking!
Lynette Siverling says that “cookies are my life and honestly there’s no cookie I don’t like. I’ve never thought about a truly healthy one.“
keto cookies and keto oreos. “Don’t know if these are any good but you can try them and see.” Both recipes can be found at delish.com.
Patti Goodkind suggested “peanut butter” cookies.
Hmm, maybe Patti. Simply leave out the sugar and butter!
Wendy J Jones suggested “keto maybe”
And Pat Mutolo shared that she no longer bakes but thought that a healthy alternative cookie might be “yes, celery”
Thanks Pat! I’m going to soak celery stalks in a glass of agave and will let you know how they taste!
My favorites? Chocolate Chip cookies hands down, all year round!
It’s time to think about healthy cookies! If not now in January.
Debbie Federico “Grapes? LOL”
Have you ever seen the sugar coated grapes? They look like ornaments. Extraordinarily sweet to eat.
Leslie Lawrence shared recipes for magic
Happy holidays everyone! Here’s to experiencing the joyful spirit within and without! Sugar or sugar-free.
Alana Cahoon is a mindfulness coach, holistic healer, and author of Mindfulness, Mantras & Meditations and Meditation Made Simple both available on Amazon.
Approximately 130 million Americans say that they have difficulty sleeping. Lack of sleep can have dire consequences, for example, each year 100,000 car accidents are caused by sleepy drivers; 500,000 deaths each year are attributed to sleeping pill use; and sleep deprivation is a factor in medical errors in 100,000 deaths in hospitals annually.
The best indicator of good quality sleep is feeling refreshed upon waking. Other indicators include sleeping 85% of the total time you are in bed; falling asleep in 30 minutes or less, ideally within ten to 15 minutes; waking no more than once per night and remaining awake for no more than 20 minutes; and the ability to awaken without an alarm clock.
It is completely normal to have occasional bouts of insomnia. Short term bouts of insomnia may be the result of stress, jet lag, diet, or medications, to name a few factors. However, chronic and / or severe conditions could signal a sleep disorder. One of the most common sleep disorders is sleep apnea, a momentary pause in breathing. The University of Rochester and Upstate Medical Center in Syracuse both have Sleep Centers where you can be tested for sleep disorders.
How much sleep do you need?
The average adult needs seven to eight hours. Some adults may need nine hours, but the sweet spot for most is eight. Infants require 16 hours of sleep a day for their developing cells, organs, bones, and brains. The average for teenagers is nine hours – there is a push for a later school day start to accommodate this need. The elderly need seven to eight hours of sleep, but they sleep lighter and
for nothing!), and increased risk of many diseases.
• Get natural sunlight every day, especially early morning light. Light from the sun enters the eyes and triggers the brain to release melatonin and other hormones and chemicals for sleep.
• Stop using all technology – TV, iPhone, iPad, laptop – at least one hour before bed.
• Filter blue light in the evening and at night. Blue light mimics the sun, orange light is best for rest. Use the f.lux app.
• Practice “earthing” – humans are meant to physically connect with the earth. Stand barefoot in the grass and watch the sunset. For cold, snowy climates there are earthing mats that can be used indoors during winter.
• Create a sleep routine with a consistent bedtime and a wind down routine.
for shorter periods of time, taking naps throughout the day. Pregnant women tend to need more sleep, especially in the first trimester.
Lack of sleep impacts our health. Even after just one night of poor sleep our memory and concentration can be off. Chronic lack of sleep can result in increased stress levels, weight gain, weakened immune system, accelerated aging (they don’t call it “beauty sleep”
• Take a leisurely walk or practice yoga (gentle or restorative) in the evening. Do your more intense exercise earlier in the day.
• Meditate or journal on anxieties; make a plan for addressing your worries.
• Avoid heavy meals – overeating can cause snoring. Minimize foods that hinder sleep, such as white breads, refined pasta, sugar, highly processed foods, alcohol, and caffeine.
• Eat no later than three hours before bedtime.
• Foods high in melatonin, magnesium, and tryptophan promote relaxation and sleep.
Cherries – the best source of melatonin and also have magnesium.
Nuts – almonds, walnuts, pistachios.
Green leafy vegetables – lots of minerals, help the brain to use tryptophan.
Avocados – healthy fats, minerals, potassium, and vitamins.
Fish – tuna, halibut, and salmon have omega-3 fatty acids.
Turkey – best source of tryptophan.
Herbal teas, especially chamomile.
• Design a bedroom conducive to sleep – optimal sleep temperature is 60ºF to 68ºF, invest in a good mattress, keep your bedroom clean and clutter-free, use calming colors (blues, greens, warm earth tones.)
• Diffuse essential oils with calming properties. A few of my faves are frankincense, lavender, Serenity, cedarwood, and Roman chamomile. Use three to four drops of oil and set your diffuser on intermittent. If you have pets, leave the door open so that they can leave the room if the aroma is too much.
If you do occasionally suffer from insomnia the worst thing you can do
is to lie in bed watching the clock and fretting. Get up, have a cup of herbal tea, read a book, take a warm bath –anything that helps you to relax.
At Blissful Balance LLC, our mission is to help you to live life healthier. You can follow us on Facebook @ blissfullbalanceroc and Instagram @blissfull_balance. Contact me at cindydecarolis62@gmail.com for health coaching.
“The average adult needs seven to eight hours. Some adults may need nine hours, but the sweet spot for most is eight.”
