{ senior lifestyles } by jim payne
Grandparenting My Favorite Job With all those clichés about grandparenting, like “you can send them home when they get cranky” or “grandma’s job is to spoil her grandkids”, the one thing I really didn’t anticipate, is how truly great it is to be a grandparent. After all the struggles of learning parenting and hoping the kids would turn out well, it feels wonderful to be a grandparent with its unique responsibilities, joy and satisfaction that comes with this important role. We adore our own children, but with experience under your belt and more time on your hands, being a grandparent is a completely different experience than parenting and a truly wonderful time in life. But, what are the roles that grandparents play in the lives of their grandchildren that will bring value, happiness and satisfaction to the children’s lives and our own? Their parents are the boss when it comes to their kids, but historically grandparents have been the elders who offered wisdom, stability, experience and in many cases child rearing to the family. So, let’s think about what grandparent skills can be offered as valuable roles in the modern family.
The Family Listeners
As much as we hope to have an open dialogue with our children throughout their lives, there are somethings that just don’t get discussed. Whether it is a trust issue or children already know how their parents will respond, few children have open dialogue with their parents all of the time. But at times, grandparents can offer an
objective ear to hear a grandchild’s concerns, fears and thoughts in a way that their parents may not be able to do. Conversations with our grandchildren can be less distracted than their parents who are still in the peak of life with limited time on their hands. Grandparents on the other hand have the time and interest to hear the stories the way that their grandchildren want to tell them. With a more open unbiased frame of mind, grandparents can consider all sides of their grandchildren’s thoughts and offer advice and acknowledgement that can be an important additional element in the child’s development. By framing discussions with their grandchildren’s safety and positive development as their goal, recommendation based on the grandparent’s long experience can enhance the trust grandchildren inherently have for the grandparents. Take the time to be the family Listener when the opportunity arises so that your grandchildren will have another trusted source for advice and guidance.
The Family Cheerleaders
Whether learning to ride a bike, a sporting event success, a great report card or a graduation, grandparents can bring joy and encouragement to their grandchildren by being part of their lives and acknowledging their grandchildren’s achievements of all sizes. Taking the time to be part of your grandchildren’s’ lives by attending their events are more than momentary experiences. The feeling of being supported by generations of your family creates confidence in children as they face challenges and develop the foundation that adulthood will ultimately
be formed on. Not to mention the joy and satisfaction that grandparents get in return for taking on or sharing the all-important Cheerleader role.
The Family Historians
As we all age, many of us take note of the significance of our heritage. Where our family came from, why we are who we are and what our heritage means to future generations. With the internet tools and DNA testing that are available today, we can collect names and statistics, but it is difficult to really understand who our relatives were from a personal perspective. What they were like, how they lived and what their challenges were; told through the real-life stories that only the elders of the family can share. That’s where grandparents come in as our own family Historians who have lived long enough to have known three or four generations personally. The stories that grandparents have shared with their grandchildren for thousands of years have extended the knowledge of not only your family, but the environment and culture that those generations experienced. They tell the stories about how they lived, loved and lost. The fun they had, how the extended family shared personal and professional responsibilities, the impact of war, how technology has evolved and who they miss the most. Without having our grandparents to share the stories of their life experiences, we could never really know what life was like in the generations before us. Not just out of curiosity, but to ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017
207