RWO's Health & Wellness Edition June/July 2019

INSIDE

NORTHEAST KIDNEY FOUNDATION INSERT

SPECIAL ROCHESTER MEN’S INSERT

PLUS...

- HEALTH, WELLNESS & BEAUTY FEATURES - FOR A GOOD CAUSE: DENISE WESLEY - WHEN YOUR SMILE NEEDS A MAKEOVER...

DR GABRIELA CARRANZA

Enjoy

SOMETHING 4THE SISTA’S WITH COVER WOMAN TRACY SIMONE

Glenna Colaprete-Hudson

THE POWERHOUSE BEHIND THE CBD BEST OIL SUCCESS STORY

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COVER STORY 18

THE POWERHOUSE BEHIND THE CBD BEST OIL SUCCESS STORY

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june/ju

{ TABLE OF CONTENTS }

REGULARS

REGULARS

88

FOR A GOOD CAUSE The Wesley’s

206

FEMALE ENTREPRENEURS

102

WOMEN WHO INSPIRE Dr Gabriela Carranza

172

WOMEN FOR WINESENSE

112

WOMEN TO WATCH BK Girls Hockey Team

176

WOMEN IN LEADERSHIP

146

CUSTOM BEAUTE

180

WOMEN WHO INSPIRE Stacey H.

164

KARMA SPEAKS

204

BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT Laughing Gull Chocolate

182

45 88

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WORTH MORE NATION

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uly

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REGULARS

REGULARS

158

WORTH MORE NATION

158

WORTH MORE NATION

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WOMEN FOR WINESENSE

172

WOMEN FOR WINESENSE

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WOMEN IN LEADERSHIP

176

WOMEN IN LEADERSHIP

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WOMEN WHO INSPIRE Stacey H.

180

WOMEN WHO INSPIRE Stacey H.

204

BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT Laughing Gull Chocolate

204

BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT Laughing Gull Chocolate

214

QUEEN OF ARTS OFC Creations

230

WRONGFULLY CONVICTED

238

LAW & HIP HOP

242

HER EDGE

223

SPECIAL FEATURES 43

COVER INSERT - JULIA YAW

190

THE PERFECT RETREAT

202

INNER LIGHT

164

308

MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE

316

A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE

341

SOMETHING 4THE SISTA’S

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june/july { TABLE OF CONTENTS }

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120

HEALTH & WELLNESS FASHION & BEAUTY 34

CBD BEST OIL

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MIND,BODY, SPIRIT

126

IN HER DEFENSE

134

QUEEN “P”

139

HEALTHY WOMAN

152

WE ARE PURE BARRE

174

PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY

288

RGH VOLUNTEERS

222 298 318

RESPONSIBLE BEAUTY

12

SECOND LOOK STYLING

FASHION FORECAST

292

A BALANCED LIFE HEALTH COACHING

312

HEALTHY WOMAN

322

BE BALANCED

328

HONEYBROOK HEALTH CORNER

334

IN HER DEFENSE

332 43

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{ FROM THE PUBLISHER }

“Once in a while you blow your own damn mind!”

T

here are so many women that inspire me today and have inspired me throughout my life. I have been lucky to live and work alongside some of these amazing, strong, independent women that have helped me to build this amazing community we call Rochester Woman. For the cover of this months edition of RWO, we have the true powerhouse behind the CBD craze, local female entrepreneur, Glenna Colprete-Hudson. You won’t beleive all she has accomplished, and what she has planned for the future of her CBD empire. Read all about her starting on page [22].

We have not 1, but 3 amazing special sections in this month’s Health & Wellness Edition of Rochester Woman Online, including our annual “Men’s” edition. This year we are featuring a “Tom” of all trades...actor, producer, entrepreneur, dancer, and more Mr. Tom Malloy on it’s cover. Read all bout this incredible man and all of his talents on pg [ ].

T T

ON OUR COVER

On our cover this month we have owner and founder of locally owned CBD Best Oil’s Glenna Colaprete photographed on location in her new storefront at Eastview Mall by Charlene Mann Ford.

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ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JUNE/HEALTH & WELLNESS EDITION 2019

Plus, we have an amazing special insert which is perfect for our health and wellness edition featuring the courageous, inspiring and amazing Julia Yaw on it’s cover. Julia, a double transplant survivor and advoate for the Northeast Kidney Foundation has the most truly heartwarming story of strength and survival that RWO is proud to be the very first to tell. Read all about her journey on page [43].

And it wouldn’t be a complete edition of RWO without our NEW “Something for the Sista’s” publication. This month we are honored to feature a woman who is doing it all, Tracy Simone. You won’t want to miss reading her story, along with so many other incredible features starting on page [ ].

{ A LOOK AT OUR TEAM }

PUBLISHER EDITOR-IN CHIEF CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN PHOTOGRAPHY

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

ADVERTISING SALES SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR WEB DESIGN & MANAGEMENT

Kelly Breuer Cheryl Kates-Benman Kelly Breuer Charlene Mann Ford Christopher “Goodknews” Cardwell Marisa Nicodemus Natalie Sinisgalli Paul Van Hoy II Michael Crisifulli Daniel Delucenay Stratagem Cheryl Kates-Benman Robin DeWind Phyllis Haberer Olga Monacell Dave Jenkins Alana Cahoon Audrey Avirett Sandy Arena Glenna Colaprete-Hudson Jamie Gruttadaria Lisa Wagner Judi Swanson Tammy Reese Sarah Wright Roberta Goheen Nicole Lambert Lori Nolan Becky Picone Vialma Ramos Lori Nolan Sara Pavia Sherry Hale John Galletto Damian Graybelle George Barnes Martha Conan

Thalia Pabon Liza Pabon Marissa Dinello Tom Corletta Jordan Betts Sam Khalil Kathy Gleason Nancy Wayne Maricelle Mosman Larry Peshkin Melanie Barnus Gabriella Quintinella Denise Karma Clifford Mona Ockenden Mike Obrien Laura Cubas Laurie Sudbrink Denise Wesley Katie Lawler-Melia

Kelly Breuer Katie Lawler-Melia The Next Design

Rochester Woman ONLINE is the premier professional woman’s online publication in the greater Rochester area. Our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local area women. The electronic magazines are distributed freely through your favorite app store and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge. Please feel free to contact publisher Kelly Breuer at 585.727.9120 or you can email us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com. Download our current media kit at www. rochesterwomanonline.com.

The magazine is published 12 times a year by Rochester Woman ONLINE. Copyright © 2017 Rochester Woman ONLINE. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publisher. Rochester Woman ONLINE is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork. All such submissions become the property of Rochester Woman ONLINE and will not be returned.

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ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JUNE/HEALTH & WELLNESS EDITION 2019

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GLENNA COLAPRETE

BY KATIE SHERMAN I PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY

WHO IS GLENNA COLAPRETE, FOUNDER OF CBD BEST OIL? We all wanted to know more about Glenna Colaprete-Hudson the CEO and powerhouse behind the CBD Best Oil success story.

to develop Glenna’s CBD Oil, as my husband calls it - for me, my family, friends and our co-workers. Colorado’s Brand Distributing aka CBD Best Oil, was born of this endeavor and is growing everyday. We oversee the end to end or seed to sale, to consistently produce high-quality premium, innovative & effective products.

As a former wireless engineer & technology

“Betsy Ross’s flag, the first draft of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution were made from hemp.

George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and other founding fathers grew hemp.

The first Bibles, maps and charts were made from hemp. One acre of hemp equals 4.1 acres of trees. Hemp is the oldest cultivated fiber in the world.” US Government Archives I started using CBD in 2015 for neuralgia and was able to vastly reduce my pain levels and increase my mobility. I slowly started designing, building the brand, website, developing products, writing documents, 3rd party testing and continuing process improvements which has resulted in a company we can be proud of, with a 100% product guarantee.

We started with the same two hemp farmers that we partner with today.

As well as the same scientist led lab

today, with those same 2 farmers in Colorado Springs and will always continue to develop innovative premium CBD Best Oil products, including adding our own farm in NY. We sell directly to consumers @ special events and online. We wholesale to 25+ shops, pharmacies, spas, gyms, various holistic business & doctor offices in Rochester, Buffalo, El Paso, etc. & operate two wholesale & retail locations.

We offer franchising & wholesale opportunities for both people & pet businesses.

We also just recently launched our 1st retail store in Eastview Mall with the second wholesale location opening soon in Brighton 12 corners.

leader with 4 pending patents, I bring that same level of quest for knowledge, education dissemination, testing and providing for the best user experience with the best tasting, smelling & effective tinctures, lotions, ointments, creams & capsules for both people & pets to potentially help alleviate a wide variety of ailments.

We continue that collaborative effort

Our products have been highlighted in DaySpa, 585, and Buffalo Spree Magazines. Kevin Ha r r i n g t o n , t h e original shark tank endorsed our full product line. We have three new products coming out later this summer with more in development.

In less than one year, CBD Best Oil at Parkleigh is currently in the top 20 of hundreds of vendors. Local companies rarely have the ability to compete with our national brand leaders but our company is in the18th brand slot currently. Our mission is to help people feel better and improve their mobility. I’ve been using

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{{ COVER COVER STORY STORY }} “Our premium products are all about looking and feeling your absolute best so you can live your best life!”

and developing CBD Best Oil products for the last 4 years, and I’m so excited to have our CBD more readily available for consumers. recently retiring from corporate life leaving a stable career after 21+ years, patents on the table, as the primary breadwinner for my family was not made lightly. But with the support of my wonderful husband and amazing three kids who are all involved in the business in product development & the business side of things, sales and the store, wholesale & retailer operations or the farm...but it was a no brainer. It’s very much a family - whether it’s my family,

friends, employees or customers. We have been helping people since 2015 and opened it up outside our large family & friends network in 2016. We started with direct to consumer in our CBDBestOil. com website. It’s been a struggle with the merchant credit card services but we have prevailed and expanded to over 25+ wholesale customers in NY, Colorado, Texas & NC and one retail mall store in Eastview Mall with another one opening in a month.

It’s all worth it to hear from so many customers how our effective premium products have helped them move better, feel better or sleep better. These

customers may be suffering with pain & inflammation from cancer, arthritis, epilepsy, injury, anxiety and other ailments but we try to help them find relief!

We enjoy being part of a larger movement in the U.S. to incorporate natural & non-toxic hemp into healing, as well as learn more and more about these amazing plants and continue to find innovative and effective ways to help people and pets. Plant-based treatments and cures have been used since prehistoric times, and have lasted for thousands of years because they work. It’s exciting to part of the process of reuniting the healing power of nature with western society, and

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COVER COVER STORY STORY }} } { {{SHIFT+CONTROL

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“I’ve been using and developing CBD Best Oil products for the last 4 years, and I’m so excited to have our CBD more readily available for consumers.”

creating products that allow people to understand and use the power of plant medicine in their life. Plants contain some very powerful healing properties that rebalance the body and promote overall health, and I’m excited to continue crafting innovative products that deliver the powerful healing properties in plants, to individuals.

So many of the things we do, eat, and inhale on a daily basis are inflammatory to our body. From sitting at a desk all day to eating processed food, or breathing in chemicals in the air around you-everyone has inflammation of some kind. When you ingest CBD Best Oil Tincture or apply the CBD salve to your skin, it works with your central nervous system and immune 28

system to help restore homeostasis. When the inflammation is reduced or mitigated, so is your pain, and the balance it brings it is extremely beneficial to maintaining your overall health. With all of the harmful chemicals and strenuous activities we endure day to day, this powerful potential remedy brings us balance and relief.

I see my CBD Best Oil products as something that may enhance your well-being and brighten your life by helping to soothe your body and mind. It’s a wonderful addition to your self care routine, and an amazing gift that allows you to share the power of plant-based treatments with those you love.

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JUNE/HEALTH & WELLNESS EDITION 2019

We strive to offer the best high quality 300mg - 3000mg Tinctures, Concentrates, Capsules, Salves, Lotions and Creams for both people & pets.

Our premium products are all about looking and feeling your absolute best so you can live your best life! Try our CBD products or give the gift of CBD for you and your pets!

We will never stop working to help you Live Your Best Life...

For More Information contact: https://cbdbestoil.com/

R STORY }

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“I slowly started designing, building the brand, website, developing products, writing documents, 3rd party testing and continuing process improvements which has resulted in a company we can be proud of, with a 100% product guarantee.�

GLENNA’S

CBD Best Oil has been delivering an

How CBD Works:

extensive line of high quality products since

CBD is an analgesic (pain-relieving) compound

2016. Our effective, full spectrum CBD

in hemp with therapeutic potential to relieve

(Cannabidiol) products are derived from a

pain, in ammation and anxiety. Humans (and

hemp farm in Colorado Springs and contain

Pets) possess an endocannabinoid system

less than 0.3% THC.

(ECS) which regulates sleep, appetite, immune

CBD Best Oil products are free of pesticides,

system responses, hormone productions and

solvents and are processed in a laboratory

mood. CBD works with this ECS network in

environment. CBD is non-psychoactive,

helping to maintain or restore homeostasis in a

non-toxic and proven effective in soothing

natural and non-toxic manner.

and rejuvenating skin, alleviating pain, in ammation and other conditions.

CBD may help alleviate: Anxiety • Insommnia • Arthritis

e CBD Best Oil Product line includes

Headaches & Migraines • Pain & In ammation

effective Lotions, Ointments, Tinctures and

Neuropathy • Autoimmune Disorders Skin Issues: Acne, Eczema, Psoriasis & Rosacea

COLORA 0%

DO

10

Anti-Aging Beauty and Eye Creams.

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PREMIUM P EXTRA

CBD Best Oil for pets, too!

Skin Care Products Anti-Aging Beauty Cream

All over moisturizing face cream, amazing consistency

Eye Cream

Reduces in�ammation around t�e eye (external use only)

Even & Clear

Acne alleviator and skin tone improver

Serenity Lotion

Use everyday for pain and in�ammation relief

Triple Relief Salve

Joint, muscle and tendon in�ammation & pain relief

Woman Owned and Operated

Innovative & Scientific

Best Product Line

Experienced CBD leader since Januarey 2016. Our caring team takes genuine pride in partnering from seed to sale to produce the best, high quality products to exceed your expectations.

All products are formulated in a sterile environment led by scientists and field experts.

Consistent quality with ongoing Research and Development.

We strive to offer the best, high quality and innovative products.

We offer Tinctures form 300mg to 2000mg, Capsules, Salves, Lotions, Beauty & Eye Creams.

For wholesale opportunities, email info@cbdbestoil.com GLENNA’S

cbdbestoil.com

{ CBD BEST OIL }

WHAT CAN CBD DO?

BY GLENNA COLPRETE

7 WAYS YOU CAN INCORPORATE CBD INTO YOUR SELF-CARE ROUTINE. “What can CBD do?”

The short answer, A LOT. CBD has been shown to calm anxiety, relieve muscle pain and skin inflammation, and help your body maintain a healthy balance known as homeostasis. Incorporating CBD into your self-care practices can have short and long term positive effects on your health.

This article will dive into what CBD is, how it works to balance your system, and how you can add CBD to your routine to improve your sleep, skin, muscle health and overall well-being.

functionality. CBD is like a power-up for your endocannabinoid system, and starts a cascade of anti-inflammatory effects throughout your body that you experience as relief from aches pains, and anxiety.

Now that you have a general understanding of what CBD is and how it works with your body, let’s take a look at the different forms of CBD you can use to address everyday inflammation and stress. It is important to remember that finding the sweet spot or minimum effective dose varies per

There are over 100 different types of cannabinoids that exist naturally in humans and plants, CBD is one (very powerful) cannabinoid that is most often extracted from hemp similar to an essential oil. Since our bodies naturally produce cannabinoids, we have a built-in system called the “endocannabinoid system” or ECS, which is designed explicitly for processing cannabinoids.

The ECS is a network of neurotransmitters that regulate our sleep, appetite, pain, and immune system response. For example, after a workout, your body releases a cannabinoid called anandamide to reduce pain and inflammation. Anandamide is known as the “bliss molecule” because while helping you recover, it also gives the feeling known as “runner’s high”.

The magic of CBD is that it binds to the same receptors in your endocannabinoid system as the cannabinoids you naturally produce, and improves their capabilities and 34

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JUNE/HEALTH & WELLNESS EDITION 2019

individual and may require adjustment.

Start out small and gradually increase until you achieve the desired effect.

1.To calm your anxiety, try CBD Best Oil Tincture Many CBD users report a “calming effect” after they ingest CBD oil. This calm feeling is explained by research which suggests that CBD eases anxiety by helping the body process serotonin, a neurotransmitter that plays a role in regulating your emotions [1]. Low serotonin levels are common in depression and can cause anxiety in some people. CBD can help increase the availability of serotonin in your brain to help boost your mood. More specific studies have found that CBD is very effective for people struggling with Social Anxiety and Public Speaking [2, 3].

A good CBD product to address anxiety is a tincture because is ingested sublingually (under the tongue) and absorbs quickly into your system. Tinctures combine CBD, which is a very potent essential oil, with carrier oils to dilute it and add a flavor.

CBD Best Oil “Original Tincture” and “Flavored Tincture” is extracted and then formulated in a clean lab and comes in original as well as spearmint, tangerine, and lemon flavors. The dropper is labeled to make it easy to measure exactly how much you are ingesting. It is important to remember that finding the sweet spot or minimum effective dose varies per individual and may require adjustment. Start out small and gradually increase until you achieve the desired effect. You can feel the effects of a CBD tincture in as few as 15 minutes but make sure to stick with a CBD routine for several weeks since you many not feel all of the effects right away.

2. To relieve everyday aches and pains, and even small scrapes and cuts, try CBD Best Oil Triple Relief Salve Ointment, and

{ CBD BEST OIL } “The magic of CBD is that it binds to the same receptors in your endocannabinoid system as the cannabinoids you naturally produce, and improves their capabilities and functionality.”

Healing Salve with Colloidal Silver.

CBD’s pain relieving effects are far-reaching, from muscular and joint pain to migraines and arthritis- and even IBS and indigestion.

For example, Sativex® (which contains both CBD and THC) has been used to treat pain for patients with multiple sclerosis, cancer, and peripheral neuropathic pain. The medical community has only recently begun to study CBD but people have used CBD in traditional medicine for thousands of years to treat various types of pain. Numerous recent studies have attested to the ability of CBD to reduce muscle inflammation and relieve chronic pain [8].

For targeted pain relief try massaging CBD Best Oil’s Triple relief salve ointment” on the affected area. Many people have felt relief within minutes using this product. For more widespread pain try ingesting CBD Best Oil “Flavored / Original Tincture”. For small scrapes and cuts try applying CBD Best Oil “Healing Salve with Colloidal Silver”, colloidal silver has natural antibacterial properties and when combined with CBD can help you heal quickly and prevent infection.

3. To calm skin inflammation, acne, and signs of aging, try CBD Best Oil’s Even and Clear Ointment, Anti-aging Beauty and Eye Creams along with great smelling Serenity Lotion.

Redness and acne are caused in part by inflammation and overproduction of an oily substance called sebum. A clinical study has shown that CBD lowers the production of sebum which causes acne, and reduces inflammation which can cause acne, redness, and irritation [6]. CBD is seen as a potent “universal” anti-acne agent because it tackles the problem from two sides, without the harsh side effects of many popular acne medications.

Along with acne fighting powers, CBD is rich in antioxidants making it a powerful moisturizer and skin softener that doesn’t clog pores or contribute to oily skin [7].

Antioxidants help to halt the aging process by reducing free-radicals and the damage that they can do to the skin. CBD Best Oil has incredible face and body lotions that allow the body to easily absorb CBD and the other nourishing ingredients. CBD Best Oil’s “Even and Clear Ointment” is filled with anti-inflammatory extracts for acne treatment and skin tone repair,

the “Eye Cream” can reduce puffiness and inflammation, and the “Anti-Aging Moisturizing Face Cream” featured in Day Spa magazine is packed full of antioxidants that have the power to prevent and reverse fine lines and aging. Try the “Serenity Lotion” anywhere on your body to help keep skin soft and healthy.

4. To help you recover after a workout: try CBD Best Oil Tincture or Water Soluble Concentrate, and the Triple Relief Salve Ointment CBD has become very popular among athletes, especially MMA fighters who claim it helps them recover quickly in between fights and training sessions. Any workout, especially a rigorous one, causes microscopic damage to the body’s muscles and tissues. This inflammation triggers the body’s repair processes, part of which is the release of anandamide the “bliss molecule” mentioned earlier. CBD has been shown to increase levels of anandamide, which is the main cannabinoid produced by the human body to reduce pain and inflammation, and is essential to the recovery process of re-building muscle tissues to be stronger and fitter [5].

Using CBD Best Oil’s “Tincture” or “Water Soluble Concentrate”, which dissolves right into you water or protein shake, and can reduce general muscle inflammation after a workout and aid in repairing and strengthening muscles. To target specific muscle groups try using a CBD salve. CBD Best Oil’s “Triple Relief Salve Ointment” is infused with CBD and other natural anti-inflammatory extracts like arnica, cranberry powder and essential oils for maximum relief and a naturally delicious sent. Applying a CBD salve can also help relax your shoulder and back muscles in the morning, or after sitting for an extended period of time.

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{ CBD BEST OIL } “Incorporating CBD into your self-care practices can have short and long term positive effects on your health.”

5. To help protect your body from alcohol and heal a hangover : try CBD Best Oil Tincture or Water Soluble Concentrate CBD is you body’s knight in shining armor when it comes to drinking. Alcohol -an infamous inflammatory- can kill your brain cells and damage your liver, but CBD has been shown to reduce the effects of alcohol in your body. A recent study found that CBD could help relieve anxiety and impulsivity associated with frequent alcohol consumption and may provide protection to the liver and brain, which could reduce the development and impact of alcohol-related liver disease and alcohol related brain damage [4]. Not only can CBD be used to mitigate the risks of alcohol toxicity and poisoning while you drink, it can also help relieve you of hangover symptoms you may experience the next day.

CBD has been shown to help with hangover headaches by reducing the inflammation which causes them, and can also help relieve nausea, and dizziness.

The few drops of CBD Best Oil’s “Water Soluble Concentrate” can be added to alcoholic beverages without changing the taste, and can increase relaxation while protecting you from the harsher effects of alcohol. A CBD tincture taken the next morning can help combat your hangover by calming the inflammation caused by alcohol.

ability to calm your central nervous system, helping you relax, let go of stress and anxiety, and alleviate pain, all of which are helpful in reducing sleep difficulties and improving sleep quality. Even if you don’t suffer from anxiety, stress, or chronic pain using CBD may be helpful for improving sleep as it is believed to interact with receptors that govern your body’s sleep and wake cycle.

Try using a CBD Best tincture or capsule, or vape CBD to help you fall asleep more easily and have a restful night. CBD Best

Oil “Flavored/ Original Tincture” and “Capsules” offer sustained delivery of CBD that may help you stay asleep later into the night. Vaping CBD Best Oil CBD E-liquid could offer faster relief to help fall asleep, even if it wears off more quickly. Consider your needs and whether you need more help falling asleep, or staying asleep, when choosing which way to consume CBD as a sleep aid.

6. To give you a good night’s sleep: try CBD Best tincture or Water Soluble Concentrate

7. To relax your anxious pet, try CBD Best Oil Pet Chicken Flavor Tincture or Pet Capsules

Trouble falling asleep is heavily linked to anxiety and chronic pain. CBD has the

Animals also have an endocannabinoid system and CBD has recently become very

popular in the animal kingdom. Pet owners use CBD to help relieve their pets of anxiety, joint and muscle pain, skin allergies and nausea. Studies have shown that CBD can promote heart health and healthy aging, and has even help prevent seizures, manage tumours and much more [9].

CBD Best Oil “Pet Capsules” or “Chicken Flavored Pet Tincture” are easy to give your pet or mix in with their food and can help to relieve your pet of anxiety and/or a multitude of other ailments.

As you can see, CBD has a lot of powerful properties that allow it to work with you system to help your body maintain a healthy balance so you look and feel your best.

Even though CBD is natural, it is important to talk to your doctor if you are taking other medication before adding CBD to your routine.

Also, it is important to note that all CBD products are not created equal. Be sure that the products you purchase are lab tested and free of harsh chemicals. All CBD Best OIl products are natural and made with organic practices and every batch is lab tested. You can find more information on safe CBD here: https://cbdbestoil.com/ industrial-hemp-cbd/ Sources: [1] https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s13311015-0387-1 [ 2 ] h t t p s : / / w w w. n a t u re . c o m / a r t i c l e s / npp20116?foxtrotcallback=true [ 3 ] h t t p s : / / j o u r n a l s . s a g e p u b. c o m / d o i / abs/10.1177/0269881110379283 [4] https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/ fphar.2019.00627/full [5]https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27790143 [6] https://www.jci.org/articles/view/64628 [7] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/ PMC20965/ [8]https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22520455 [9] https://topdogtips.com/cbd-for-dogs/

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JUNE/HEALTH & WELLNESS EDITION 2019

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Our experienced team p first. We are proud to pro of products, customer se commitment to health customers. Our goal is to quickly as possible an

* CBD Best Oil is a USA, Wom CBD Family

* At CBD Best Oil, we use pu in a certified

CONTACT US FOR M WWW.CBDBE

put’s your healing needs ovide a high quality level ervice, experience, and and wellness to all our make you feel better as nd live your best life.

oman Owned & Operated y Business.

ure cannabidiol extracted d clean lab.

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Serving the Greater Rochester Area The Northeast Kidney Foundation is a voluntary health organization dedicated to preventing kidney disease and enhancing the lives of all those affected.

We offer many local community outreach programs as well as patient services including: Free kidney screenings Renal Representatives Participation in local community health fairs Medical I.D. jewelry Patient assistance

Watch out for our upcoming 2019 events in RWO Magazine and our website!

95 Allens Creek Rd. Bldg 1 Ste 323 Rochester, NY 14618 www.healthykidneys.org

COVER STORY

THE INSPIRING JULIA YAW

For A Good Cause

SPECIAL CATWALK FOR KIDNEYS

THE NORTHEAST KIDNEY FOUNDATION

NSPSTUDIO.COM | 11 ARNOLD PARK ROCHESTER 14607 | 585.413.0135

The largest living donor kidney transplant program in Upstate NY.

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JULIA ROSEAL YAW PHOTOS BY NATALIE SINISGALLI STUDIOS

Julia Yaw is the regional director for the Northeast Kidney Foundation of Rochester and surrounding regions. She is an avid advocate for sibling rights in the foster care and adoption community, organ donation and transplant patient advocate. She enjoys public and motivational speaking, and focuses on several humanitarian efforts.

Seven years ago, after experiencing the loss of our stillborn daughter, Natalie, my husband and I never expected to be approached with an adoption at her funeral. We didn’t think we should take on that challenge with our loss being so recent.

We originally said no, but within a few days decided maybe we should look into it. Afterall, my husband was adopted and it took his parents 17 years on an agency list before they would receive him. Maybe the responsible thing to do would be to look into this...?

Although my husband and I will have been married for 12 years this July, seven years ago began our whilwind story- the greatest story of loss, trial, tragedy, sickness replaced with health, corruption replaced with justice, love, redemption, miracles that were seemingly impossible, heroism and life I have ever heard of. I’m thankful to have survived it all... but I’m honored that this story is mine.

The first thing you should know about a trial is the definition. Merriam Webster has a few, but what I will refer to is this one: “A trial is a test of faith, patience, or stamina through subjection to suffering or temptation.” The second thing you need to know is that trials come in seasons.

Already in the middle of a season full of trials, I remember very vividly being angry and frustrated. I was at lunch with my husband Doug and my friend Hunter

adopting. But...I mean, why would we be in Rochester? Why would we be approached graveside to adopt a baby boy? Seemed like God was lining things up- I mean, people wait years on an agency list. I had everything ready for our daughter Natalie; a little girl, but now here we are waiting on a little boy.

Still at lunch, we had just received a call that we may not be getting the boy we were promised. This is where the frustration and anger... really anguish, set in.

One loss, now potentially leading to another.

Yo u c o u l d imagine the confusion on my face while we’re at lunch--- when I opened 2 fortune cookies. I looked at these fortunes that said “your fondest desire will come true within this year...”, the second reading “Daughter.”

I had no idea what my fondest desire was, but I would

and I opened up two fortune cookies.

learn.

We had just buried our stillborn Natalie and sacrificed everything we had, including our careers in Virginia. While we were in NY, laying our daughter to rest, we were approached graveside about adopting a soon to be baby boy in New York. We left everything. We moved home. Truth be told- I wanted nothing to do with

The adoption of the little boy would fall through a few months later. What I now know is that God is perfect with his timing. On the same day, my friend Ryan would call me to check in. He would tell me he threw our names in to adopt a baby girl. I’m thinking- “Are you nuts!? No way!” No way could I pursue

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“ Had we not pursued the first adoption and sacrificed everything we had in Virginia, we take her and her brothe

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we would not be New York residents to take in Aria. We would need to be New York residents to ers, unlike the first adoption.”

another baby with no time in between... and I’ll never forget what he said:

to receive the family God had spoken into existence long before we knew...

“You have a choice. You can do something, or nothing at all; but I would encourage you to do something...”

There is a lot of detail regarding the adoption process missing here, but I will save that for my “someday” book.

Read that again.

What I want you to hold on to is this: what you’re facing today, does not have permission to rob you of your tomorrow.

And so began the 2 month journey to our daughter Aria. “Daughter”, which would turn into a fight to save her siblings. A 5 1/2 year battle to be exact.

We would take in Xavier and Elijah just a few months after that and adopt them as our sons- Aria’s biological brothers, and then finally winning visitation with the last sibling.

We were never meant to be back in NY to pursue that baby boy- we were here

Though death is permanent, it’s tangible, it was evident- we no longer would be expecting our daughter; it was NOT allowed to rob us of our tomorrows.

It was not allowed to rob us from the family and joy we would recieve. We kept going, we kept fighting, we kept believing amidst all the adversity-- we held on to faith and hope, a hope that was always in anticipation for what

COULD be instead of what was.

Did I tell you that after we lost our daughter Natalie’s heartbeat we became those crazy people...

I mean crazy.

After losing Natalie’s heartbeat, I wouldn’t give up. I prayed for her heartbeat.

I prayed until I saw her move in the ultrasound and she did. I prayed until I and the doctors could feel her kicking my stomach... and she did.

“There was no scientific reason this was happening”, is what the doctors told me.

They would not terminate my pregnancy.

Thats ok. I didn’t want them to.

I didn’t pray for Natalie for a few days,

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COVER STORY } } { {SHIFT+CONTROL “You fondest desire will come true within this year. Daughter. Both fortunes opened at the same time in a moment of distress and grief. Months later...Aria”

Two months without a heartbeat.

time, but do you ever think about it?

Two months without a heartbeat, or eight weeks before I said “God, I have believed you for the impossible-- I have done everything I could do to save this pregnancy-- if You take her, this is on You...”

Eight weeks after no heartbeat, and Natalie is finally born. Now we’re in NY holding her funeral, and we’re told, just the day before, this Pastor was

And it was. May 17th, 2012, the night after I spoke those words, my water would break at home and Natalie would be born without any complications, fully whole in her amniotic sac.

I remember being timid and slightly embarrassed because my husband was working for the Sheriff’s department in Virginia at the time, so of course our friends and colleagues were the ones to show up to the house and escort my daughter and I to the hospital. They would also be the ones to make arrangements with the funeral home and have Natalie placed in a casket with a transport ticket. Days later they would tell us that we needed to drive her home and lay her to rest with family. We weren’t even sure that’s what we wanted to do, but I’m glad they made the plans for us. We were so beside ourselves at the time that we weren’t in a position to decide anything...

Let me tell you about the importance of eight weeks. I learned patience. I learned how to believe when there was nothing left.

I learned how to keep going.

Do you believe that timing is everything?

That’s a common phrase we hear all the

I said no, but something told me to reconsider. When that adoption fell through, it wasn’t a day later, that we received a call about the potential adoption of a baby girl. In fact, my friend Ryan didn’t even know that the first adoption had fallen through. He called the same day-- just to check in.

Timing is everything. Had I delivered Natalie immediately after losing her heartbeat, we wouldn’t have been here in NY to be approached by the pastor.

Had the Sherriff department and Funeral home not made plans for us and tell us exactly what we were going to do, we would not have come back to NY. Had we not pursued the first adoption and sacrificed everything we had in Virginia, we would not be New York residents to take in Aria. We would need to be New York residents to take her and her brothers, unlike the first adoption.

Aria would be the third baby we would be expecting and actually receive in an 8 month span. My hope for Natalie would be the start of this journey.

Hope does not deny a problems existence-- it denies it a place of influence. The evidence before me would not hinder my hope and anticipation for tomorrow.

approached by a desperate pregnant mother who needed an adoptive resource for her son. Apparently, he couldn’t find another family to step in and he kept seeing our name.

Don’t concentrate on what “is”.

Refocus that attention to what could be or what’s waiting.

Sixteen months after taking in Aria and her brothers, I would become pregnant again. This time, eight months later on February 11th 2015, delivering a healthy

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“A trial is a test of faith, patience, or stamina through subjection to suffering or temptation.”

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COVER COVER STORY STORY }} } { {{SHIFT+CONTROL “I’m a strong believer that we wouldn’t be alive if there wasn’t another victory in front of us.”

screaming baby girl with air in her lungs and a heartbeat. Annaliese would be born at 32 weeks; eight weeks early via an emergemcy C-Section due to a diagnosis of preeclampsia with severe features. They lost my heartbeat and I coded red as they were putting the last stitch in. Anna was placed in the NICU for 3.5 weeks before she could come home- an amazing turnaround for such an early premie.

seperated amidst a very corrupt system.

We were in court almost once a week for the entirety of their case, in one county or another.

if you know a diabetic, they will almost always have more than one specialist to see routinely throughout their life.

As stressful as that was, it became very strange that I wasn’t recovering from my c-section even several months later. After severe migraines developed, eye pain, nausea and several specialist appointments lined up, we would not have a proper

Even though I was already seeing specialists, the nausea, eye pain and severe dibilitating migraines we’re not associated with my condition. All of the expansive bloodwork and testing done would appear nomal and dismiss all other diagnoses.

Unfortunately, I was unable to see her for the first several days.

Until my Nephrologist came into my routine appointment, a little flustered. He said my kidney function was rapidly declining. He gave me a solid game day talk before he said, “It’s going to be ok.

You’re young and I’m sure you have a lot of friends and people that care about you. You’re going to find a living kidney donor before the end of the year, and it’s going to be done before Christmas- you’re going to have a Kidney transplant and live a healthy life.”

They never understood why they lost my heartbeat during the c-section. They never understood how it came back several minutes later after several attempts. I’ll never forget waking up on a diferent floor with the anesthesiologist team and doctors staring at me with terrified looks and tears running down their face.

I’ll never forget waking up and looking at them confused asking “What are you staring at?? What’s wrong!?”

I’ll never forget them shaking their heads in disbelief. They still didn’t say anything- my husband Doug would be the first one to tell me what happened.

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diagnosis for quite some time.

I’m a strong believer that we wouldn’t be alive if there wasn’t another victory in front of us.

I was a type 1 Diabetic since the age of 3.

Diabetes developed after I contracted a viral infection as a toddler and since has become recognized as an auto-immune disease.

Although we had Aria, Xavier and Elijah in our custody at the time that I delivered Anna, we were still fighting four different counties to keep them together-- to keep them from being

I would see endocrinology and nephrology a few times a year to monitor how I was doing and watch my kidney function.

If you don’t know, diabetes can affect all of your organs, so more than likely,

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Just like that. I’m sure you could imagine my horrified look as my heart sunk. Here I had just had my daughter, our other three kids to care for, and for the first time in my life, I’m hearing I need an organ transplant.

I didn’t know anything about organ donation. We’ve all seen the “Donate Life” slogan-- they even ask you at the DMV when you go to get or renew your license. I never knew much about it, so I simply said no every time without a second thought. Now- here I was in need, and seemingly beside myself.

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“All of the tests would come back normal, but I had one doctor who said we need to look into this, and she did. ”

My husband and I packed up our four kiddos and went out of town for a few days. We needed to clear our heads and get away. We visited some friends in Virginia, and went to visit my Alma Mater, Liberty University. It was a much needed trip, but while there, I would endure my first heart attack.

After several months of not feeling normal after my C-section, unexplained and unrelated symptoms, now to be told I need a kidney transplant...and just for fun, now let’s throw in a hrart attack...

I knew I was because I couldn’t walk without being out of breathe. If you know me, I have one pace, which is a quick power walk/run. I am never sitting still. I couldn’t walk upstairs without being out of breathe-- but the ONE thing that gave it away was the burning in my left arm from the tip of my middle finger all the way up to my chest. Pay attention to your symptoms.

Doctors didn’t believe me when I told them. I think they laughed at me, in fact and said it was a panic attack.

They wouldn’t believe it because I was the perfect image of health. I didn’t look like the typical unhealthy heart-attack

I was 27 and 120 lbs.

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Here I was, a former coach and personal trainer, with edication in pre-law and political science with a concentration in child advocacy and business, and at 27... I’m having a heart attack.

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patient I guess, and I certainty was the youngest person they have ever had complain of such a thing.

All of the tests would come back normal, but I had one doctor who said we need to look into this, and she did.

A stress-test was ordered where they would see my first documented heart attack occur. An angiogram would have to be done, and of course this would take a toll on my already failing kidneys.

The angiogram revealed that all three of my arteries were extremely clogged- not only that, they were fraying and being held together by threads. My diagnosis was CAD (Coronary Artery Disease) a genetic condition that we now know runs in my family. It was past the point

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“Not wanting to receive a kidney from anyone, worried about givers remorse amidst othe

of using stents; a triple bypass would have to be done, but with the images showing an extremely fatal state, the doctors and surgeons knew that time was of the essence, and the surgery may not be successful.

Instead of rushing me in to surgery, the doctors sent me home to spend time with my kids. They told me to make arrangements because they just didn’t know what to expect given my situation. Imagine looking your babies in the face-- thinking you took them out of a bad situation to help them and give them stability, and now you’re being faced with a major “what-if ”. What if I don’t come home...

inside looked nothing like the images they took-- it looked much better, and my kidneys remained stable through the surgery. The surgery was successful and within a few months, I was placed back on the transplant list. I am confident that the fervent prayers of my loved ones sustained me.

We were devastated.

All four of my kids were under the age of 5 at the time. I wouldn’t make it to the scheduled surgery date. I would go in for an emergency triple bypass surgery on March 8th, 2016. Fortunately for me, I was assigned the best surgeon in the area-- he was one of only two surgeons in the country who could do this surgery so quickly that he wouldn’t have to use the heart and lung machine. Speed was crucial in my situation, as oxygen cut off to the other organs during this surgery would cause them to fail, and already needing a kidney transplant made this a major feat.

It was probably the longest wait for my huaband, friends, family and followerseveryone holding their breath and praying for a miracle around the country, and some even around the world. The surgeon would come out and tell my husband he doesn’t know how this was not a miracle... I still needed the triple bypass and he was able to do it by taking a vein from my leg and grafting it in, but the 60

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Not wanting to receive a kidney from anyone, worried about givers remorse amidst other things, I didn’t put much effort into finding a live donor. Everything in me said no. Trying to keep my integrity and worried about moral and ethical lines being crossed and the legal parameters of what could happen wth an organ

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er things, I didn’t put much effort into finding a live donor. Everything in me said no. ”

transplant, I psyched myself out more than once. Apparently, I had no reason to worry.

My kidneys held stable for several months after heart surgery, and shortly after being placed back on the transplant list, I would receive a call from someone at my

church. Her husband and my husband were in a mens group together and both had been following and consistently praying for my situation. Both had already done and given so much to help support us, but this would be the first time I would actually talk with Olivia.

She would ask me what my blood type

was. When I said “A+”, Olivia started to cry. “Me too!” she said. “I am going to give you my kidney- God has given me complete peace over this. Before the beginning of time, He knew that this kidney would be for you...”

I was speechless. What do you say to someone who is willingly offering a piece of themselves to save you? What do you say when the whole idea of the process terrifies you?

I was polite and said thank you, but inside I was thinking “No way.” I’m not typically the one on the receiving end, as I generally live my life in service to others, so this was a hard concept for me to swallow. Even further-- I felt fantastic. Despite going through what I had already been through, I don’t think in that moment I even believed I would need a transplant.

One can learn a lot in a short amount of time, and the first thing I would learn was a little dose of humility and that I had met my match because Olivia was as persistant as I was. This is the only part of my journey where I sat bavk and relaxed, because she took the reigns and there was no telling her no.

She continued with all the mandated bloodwork and testing. I’m never surprised by a miracle anymore because God has continued to be faithful to me. I never want to take that for granted. In order to be considered a living kidney donor, your GFR, (level of your kidney function) would have to be at 95%. Olivia’s function would miraculously come back at 168% and the doctors would declare she had a “super kidney”. We would also learn that Olivia and I shared FOUR antigens and were more closely matched as sisters or siblings than we were as complete

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{ {{SHIFT+CONTROL COVER COVER STORY STORY }} } “Never mourn what is not working, rather; celebrate what’s coming.”

Our steps are all ordered and each one of us has been strategically placed for a greater purpose. It’s our job to seize the opportunity.

Olivia did.

The date of original surgery would be November 29th, 2016-- right before Christmas, just like my Nephrologist had wished for. That would be pushed back because Olivia’s bloodwork did not come back right. In that moment, we would both find out that she may not be able to donate.

Also in that moment, I again would face an emergency. The same date of our scheduled surgery that was no longer taking place, my kidneys would completely shut down, I would gain 40 lbs of fluid overnight and I would be placed on dialysis.

Olivia’s bloodwork would come back perfect after being retested, and another surgery date would be scheduled, only to be cancelled again. This time, because deceased donors take precedence in the operating rooms and on our surgery date, not one, but three deceased donors would bump us back. That never happens.

I remember being at peace that our surgery was delayed. I was wondering what the environment was like at the hospital and who was recieving a second chance at life.

Maybe it was a heart transplant, maybe lung... one deceased organ donor can save 8 lives with organ transplants and 50 lives with tissue. Just one donor. Our local hospital and organ procurement office was tending to three. Three times eight is 24 people with opportunities at a second chance at life that day and who knows how many with tissue.

Incredible. As unfortunate as loss is, I have come to realize how beautiful it is to be able to live on through others and give others a chance to live to their full potential, to be healthy, to cherish more moments. The gift of time irreplaceable. Organ donation

provides that time.

surrounding areas.

As much reassurance as I would try to provide Olivia, it wasn’t helping. She had made up her mind that she was donating and was extremely upset that this wasn’t happening again. I told her “Olivia, you once told me that you didn’t want to turn this into the Liv show, but I am telling you that God is not going to allow this surgery to happen until you write about it. I cannot tell this story-- as much as it is a part of my testimony, this part of the journey needs to come from you and you can inspire multitudes.”

Had our surgery not been delayed, and had I not endured the toll of dialysis first hand, I would never truly understand how sick a kidney patient could be. I would not have understood how imperitive organ donation was and how gruelling it would be to live a life tethered to a dialysis machine three times a week for four hours at a time for the rest of your life without an organ donor. I was forunate. And then I became determined.

I’m not one to watch people suffer and not do anything about it-- I will always take a stand for the meek and oppressed, and so I did.

Never mourn what is not working, rather; celebrate what’s coming.

Olivia didnt want to write, but she did.

I still laugh about it. Olivia is one of the FIERCEST advocates for living kidney donation and has inspired individuals all over to sign up to be an organ donor, donate blood and pass life on. She has inspired at least two individuals to become living kidney donors, and they did! Their recipients are doing great from what I hear. I would encourage you to read Olivia’s blog “ THE GIRL WITH AN EXTRA KIDNEY, and my friend is in need of ONE”. Her perspective is beautiful and captivating- you won’t be disappointed. https://medium.com/@LivMorgante Olivia and I would go in for a successful transplant on February 8th, 2017. I would recover wonderfully, running laps around the unit and organizing the first Catwalk for Kidneys event in Rochester within 7.5 weeks after transplant. Inspired by the grief that I saw patients endure while on dialysis, I would make arrangements to continue to host the event and others for the Northeast Kidney Foundation, and eventually become their regional director for Rochester and

How can you repay an organ donor? You can’t really. I will live to pay it forward to the next patient; friend in line and advocate for them.

The mission of the Northeast Kidney Foundation is why I decided to join the team. The NeKF’s missiom is to improve the quality of life of those affected by kidney disease and related conditions through early identification, intervention, prevention and support services; to promote organ donation; and to empower those we serve to be an effective voice for better healthcare at the local, state and federal levels.

The Northeast Kidney Foundation is a voluntary health organization dedicated to preventing kidney disease and enhancing the lives of all those affected. Formed in 1974 as a philanthropic gift of Edwin and Rhoda Sperber, the Foundation provides services to patients, family members, the general public and clinical and academic professionals throughout the Northeast and now some parts of Western New York with the expansion of our Rochester office.

Serving as the Regional Director for Rochester, I am actively trying to be a voice,

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“I’m sure you thought my story ended there, but alas it did not. ”

create solutions and solve the problems that our community of patients are facing by advocating, educating and creating awareness. We have been able to provide emergency assistance in the form of grants, nutritional support, clothing and even transportation to dialysis treatment for local patients. I am working on starting a patient support group, providing patient outings, sending patients to participate in Transplant Games of America and providing our pediatric patients with a Christmas party this year! I am working on a unique fundraiser that will take place later this year, so I hope you will check in to our website www.healthykidneys. org and of course Rochester Woman Online for that announcement.

I take great pride that all of our funds stay local to directly help patients in our community and region.

Our steps will determine our purpose and destiny.

I’m sure you thought my story ended there, but alas it did not. I’m sure there will be a lifetime of pages to turn. Much to my surprise, I would receive a phone call this past Christmas Eve, just five short months ago. The transplant team called and said they had a match!

Another one?

This time for a pancreas.

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It took a lot of convincing to leave my family for the holidays, but forward I went.

A new pancreas would mean no more diabetes, no more shots or injections-- but moreover that my body and all organs would function at a notmal healthy state for the first time since I was 3 years old.

The strange thing about a pancreas is that it is not a real solid organ, like a heart or kidney. Instead, the pancreas is sponge-like and very delicate. It is very

it went perfectly. My new pancreas from Alabama was the farthest my hospital has traveled to receive a pancreas. I am very proud of their professionalism and dedication. Not only was it an extremely long committment, but this pancreas started producing insulin as soon as it was connected in surgery. That is almost unheard of.

Organs dont only save lives; they restore lives.

Five months later and I dont feel great, (as you can tell from my photos taken six weeks ago) but my labwork has come back with healthy normal levels. It will take time for my body to acclimate to this new normal, but I see new progress everyday.

difficult to transport them and every minute counts. The longer the organ is out, the higher the risk of damage affecting longevity of the organ. When I heard that the pancreas was being flown in from Alabama, I was even more apprehensive.

I am thankful that I know my team well. When I learned the the director and chief surgeon would be flying out himself to receive the pancreas, I was a little more at ease. He even returned to stay during my entire surgery to ensure

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I am forever grateful for both of my donors. Every moment is a gift and it is only because of them and God’s grace that I live.

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

John 15:13 I dare you to step out in tremendous faith. Believe in the impossible. Seize the opportunity and never lose sight of the treasure in your trial. Keep listening, keep opening the pages to your story.

Dare to dream, dare to hope, dare to BELIEVE in what you hope for and dare to live.

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“You have a choice. You can do something, or nothing at all; but I would encourage you to do something...”

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Sunshine & Sunflowers for the Ronald McDonald House Charities

of Rochester at Stokoe

Farms

Experience over 200,000 blooms at the picturesque 207 year old farm. Live music, food & wine, hayrides, activities, animals and more!

August 16-18 & 23-25 10 am to 5 pm Tickets are Limited, purchase tickets here: https://stokoefarms.ticketleap.com/sunflower-fest-2019/ *100% of the proceeds from bloom sales go directly to Ronald House Charities of Rochester

ROOFING, DECKS, SIDING, AND MUC

CH MORE I WE OFFER FINANCING

A Special Thank You to Rob Kochik of Finger Lakes Donor Recovery Network!

Thank You Rob for your many years of service and your committment to the Northeast Kidney Foundation!

For every product purchased, Twill will provide 100% of proceeds to the Northeast Kidney Foundation's mission of supporting those affected by kidney disease and other related issues.

22 Colvin Ave Albany, NY 12206 www.mytwill.com

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THE NORTHEAST KIDNEY FOUNDATION

BY CAROL LAFLEUR

Dear Friends, It is a tremendous honor to work with Rochester Woman Online. What a fabulous publication! I can’t think of a better way to introduce the Northeast Kidney Foundation to you!

The Northeast Kidney Foundation is a patient service organization that was founded in Albany in 1972 by a family that was facing kidney disease.

A young woman was about to be married only to find out a short time before her scheduled wedding that she was in kidney failure and would need a transplant. Her father became her donor and once they were through the recover y process, they wanted to ensure there was a local organization available to help other families. They got together with some friends and raised enough funds to establish the organization. Since that time, The Northeast Kidney Foundation has remained constant in our mission of improving the lives of those affected by kidney disease and related conditions; increasing organ donation; and empowering

those we serve to be effective voices for better healthcare at the local, state and federal levels.

Three years ago, we began to receive many phone calls from social workers in the Rochester region looking for assistance programs for dialysis patients. Support for direct patient assistance was no longer available in

the region and social workers were trying to find resources that would help patients with basic needs. It’s hard for anyone to imagine what patients endure while on dialysis.

While we are thankful to have dialysis treatment available, it can be very debilitating, with patients often juggling the complexity of the disease combined with financial challenges.

Recognizing that we would have to

find a way to sustain any support we were providing in the Rochester region, we decided to hold a fundraiser that would both tell the kidney story and raise funds to support our patient assistance programs. Catwalk for Kidneys Rochester was born and three years later, here we are, still providing patient assistance programs, but now with the support of the local c o m m u n i t y, we can offer other resources including free kidney screenings; education and outreach; and support for organ donation initiatives. We were also able to open a local office right here in Rochester so that we can continue strengthening the services we offer at the local level. We are also happy to announce that we have a Rochester director, Julia Yaw, who is featured in this supplement.

Julia is a powerhouse. You only have to be in her presence for only five minutes to know what a truly amazing spirit she is. Her compassion, willingness to help others, fighting spirit and sense of humor are just a few of the things that make her

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{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE } “One out of every seven is at risk for chronic kidney disease. Of those at risk, one out of three will develop it over their lifetime.”

special. Her story is compelling and inspirational, and we are fortunate to have her on our team. Thanks to all that have stepped up to support the Northeast Kidney Foundation.

We can’t serve patients without you. We need to serve more. There are many ways in which you can help, all of which we will share with you in the coming months. Watch 78

for information about our run in September, art exhibit, and of course Catwalk for Kidneys coming in April!

One out of every seven is at risk for chronic kidney disease. Of those at risk, one out of three will develop it over their lifetime. You can make a difference in supporting those living with this illness. You’ve taken the first step by reading this publication.

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JUNE/HEALTH & WELLNESS EDITION 2019

Thank you! We look forward to seeing you in the coming weeks and months!

Sincerely, Carol LaFleur Executive Director

{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES { SHIFT+CONTROL } }

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4th Annual Rochester Catwalk for Kidneys April 2020 Changing lives through beauty, stories and inspiration...

One Doctor.

One Patient.

One Donor.

One miracle at a time.

#CatwalkForKidneys

Three years of Catwalk and counting!Â

{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE }

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{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE }

THE WESLEY’S PHOTOS BY MICHAEL CRISAFULLI

February 28, 2018 was a quiet, cold, winter morning. Denise lay on Tim’s chest to hear his breathing, to not miss a moment with him. She fought exhaustion through the night but eventually the lack of sleep won at she dozed off at 5:45am. Something jolted her from sleep just 45 minutes later and her Husband, Tim, was gone.

Denise and Tim, who met at the young age of 24 and 22, married in August 2001.

They were blessed with two beautiful, healthy daughters; Skyler and Mackenzie.

Life was wonderful for the family of 4.

Tim and Denise both worked very hard at their careers and were successful in doing so. Tim owned a Distribution company. Things had gotten to a point at the end of 2017 when Tim grew incredibly tired. He had acquired other companies over the years and continued to grow his company and it required a lot of his energy and time. The couple was getting frustrated with the demand it had put on Tim. They continued to say to each other “something has got

to give”… and on April 1, 2012 it certainly did. Tim was diagnosed with Stage IV Appendix Cancer (a one-in-a-million statistic) and was told he had 12-18 months to live.

BOOM!...just like that life stopped.

Life would never again be the same.

They didn’t want to accept what

they had been told. They traveled the country seeking opinions from other Oncology Teams to find there are Specialist that treat this form of cancer. Tim went through a 14+ hour surgery that left him physically and emotionally a very different person.

On July 28, 2012, 2 days post lifesaving surgery – Denise sat in a chair next to Tim’s bed in silence, listening to the machines beeping and intently watching Tim breath. She played over in her head all of the roads they could have taken and how small signs led them to where they were.

She prayed and gave thanks for the chance they’d been given. Later that night, Tim wearily opened his eyes and stared back at her. He told her how much he loved her and how thankful he was for the work it took to get there. He said, we have to help others that find themselves where we have. He knew many others were being told they had 12-18 months to live may believe it. They may not challenge it. Tim decided in that very moment, that no one would ever again go through what they had. He would help others. Once out of the hospital he would pay it forward. Tim formed a NYS 501 ( c ) 3 Organization called BE uninTIMidated and since 2012 this organization has raised over $200,000 and supported 19 families in their fight against rare cancers.

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{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE } “Tim was diagnosed with Stage IV Appendix Cancer (a one-in-a-million statistic) and was told he had 12-18 months to live. BOOM!...just like that life stopped. Life would never again be the same.”

Tim continued his fight for nearly 7 years with endless rounds of chemotherapy, radiation, scans, procedures, traveling the country for trials fighting for his life and he never once gave up on helping others.

It was what he was here to do.

Tim lived life without regrets and with so much passion and love.

He left an undeniable mark on this world. Anyone that crossed Tim’s path considered themselves lucky. He is a man of honor. A 92

man of integrity. A man of absolute determination. He was one of the kindest, funniest and most genuine souls you could encounter. He fought through nearly 7 years of incredible physical pain and emotional pain yet you would never know it. The man never missed a day of work.

He would go in before his chemo sessions, after sessions and work during his infusions. He never ever let this disease define him and he never once gave in and let it take over. He was always positive, always

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upbeat and always greeted everyone with a smile.

Tim taught us to never accept no for an answer. To always seek multiple opinions for anything and everything.

He taught us to see the bright side of life and most importantly, he taught us the lesson we should all live by, which is to give back.

To give selflessly and not expect anything in return. To help others, to lend a hand, to listen, to love passionately and without reserve.

{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE }

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{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE } “Tim formed a NYS 501 ( c ) 3 Organization called BE uninTIMidated and since 2012 this organization has raised over $200,000 and supported 19 families in their fight against rare cancers.”

You can go to be tonight and wake to a completely different world in just a moment in time. Value what you have. Appreciate those in your life. Give the gift of a smile to a stranger. Because Tim truly believed if you Give Good, you Get Good.

that Denise, Skyler and Mackenzie c o n t i n u e f o r w a rd w i t h B E uninTIMidated and helping others every chance they get. Secondly that Denise step in to the CEO/Owner position of his company, Economy Products & Solutions, Inc.

Two of Tim’s final requests were

Tim has been gone almost 16 months

and his wife and daughters still struggle every day to make sense of losing him and they work hard to move forward with him. They are proudly honoring his wishes and hold him close in everything they do.

“Tim taught us to never accept no for an answer. To always seek multiple opinions for anything and everything. He taught us to see the bright side of life and most importantly, he taught us the lesson we should all live by, which is to give back. �

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{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES }

DR. GABRIELA CARRANZA

BY DAMIAN GRAYBELLE

An Unbreakable Will: Dr. Gabriela Carranza’s Long Road to Rochester 3217. Three thousand, two hundred and seventeen miles. This is the lengthy distance in miles over land from Guatemala City, Guatemala to Rochester, New York. It is also symbolic of the long road that Dr. Gabriela Carranza has had to travel to get to this point in her career as a highly specialized dentist.

As a child, she experienced the tragic loss of her father when she was just nine years old. Her father, Edgar, was the victim of a robbery and assault while working at his manufacturing company. Her family’s grief melded with a state of panic, initially unable to confirm Gabriela’s whereabouts.

Gabriela typically joined her father at his work after school, but miraculously did not do so on that dark day. As the family slowly recovered from a life-altering event, it would be the matriarchal figures in her family – her unwavering grandmother, Rosa, and her mother, Angela, who would help to fill the void.

A Mother’s Influence Her mother, Angela de Carranza, was driven to step in and plug a variety of roles for her four children. She was a parent, financial provider, best friend, teacher, and mentor. An accountant and financial auditor by trade, she focused on working as many hours as possible to climb the career and economic

ladder, while also dedicating herself to her children, leaving her with time for little else.

Children deal with the unexpected loss of a parent in a variety of ways.

For Gabriela it propelled her to form an even closer bond with her mother.

She saw how hard her mother worked, while still making time for her children, and she came to idolize her. Angela modeled the behaviors of a strong,

independent woman. Relentless and tenacious. Through osmosis, the seeds were planted for who Gabriela was later to become.

The Learning Process It is pretty well established that dentists, like most other healthcare providers, are required to go to school for a looong time in order to obtain their titles of DDS (Doctor of Dental Surgery) or DMD

(Doctor of Medicine in Dentistry).

General dentists typically undergo eight or nine years of schooling after high school – four years of an undergraduate degree, four years of dental school, and typically an additional year of a post-graduate residency. For specialists, tack on another three years, for a total of eleven years of education post-high school. In 2017, Gabriela completed 14 years of dental education.

She completed her first dental degree in her hometown of Guatemala City, but was left wanting, feeling that she still had further to advance in her training.

Clearly it was not an easy decision to leave her country, in part because of the strong relationship with her mother. But her mom understood her daughter’s need to continue to develop as a practitioner. “When she left, for me it was very sad,” said Angela, vicepresident of a Japanese truck manufacturer in Guatemala. “But I’ve always thought that if my children want to fly far from home and it would make them better professionals, more successful and thus happier…then they should do it. In Gaby’s case, no one was going to stop her.”

Gabriela’s degrees would begin to accumulate like scrolling end credits at the end of an epic motion picture.

Her first stop was New York City, attending the International Prosthodontic Program at New York University (NYU).

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“Newly settled in her home away from home, Dr. Carranza can now begin to implement a program designed to honor the sacrifices that her mother previously made for her. Later this year the practice will initiate the Angela’s Award in coordination with local women’s charities, providing pro bono dental care to a single mother in need.”

{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES } “Gabriela’s focus is on providing patients with the highest level of dental care available anywhere in the region. ”

The plan was to return to Guatemala after one year, but once she scratched the itch of studying with other top professionals in the United States, she had to keep at it. She was awarded a scholarship to return for a second year, this time providing clinical instruction in the international program. She then entered and completed a three-year residency in Prosthodontics at NYU. Prosthodontists are highly specialized dentists, experts at the replacement and restoration of teeth.

“Prostho” comes from the Greek word “prosthesis”, meaning to add or to place, and “dontist” is derived from the Greek word for tooth, “odon.”

Prosthodontists also happen to be masochists, consuming and learning everything they can related to the oral cavity.

Eleven years studying dentistry still did not seem quite enough for Dr. Carranza. She then applied for the Graser Implant Surgical Fellowship at the University of Rochester’s Eastman Institute of Oral Health (EIOH). And with a tendency to will herself to succeed (she proudly admits to having read both “The Secret” and “The Power”), she was awarded the single position available that year. Her first year at the University of Rochester also led her to fall in love with the Greater Rochester Area.

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Snow

Guatemala has an average daily high temperature of approximately 75 degrees farenheit and fluctuates no more than a few degrees throughout the year. Many people coming from such a temperate climate would likely balk at moving to a region with an average annual snowfall of more than ninety inches per season.

Not Gabriela. “I get excited when I get to wear my snow boots, and I love watching the snowflakes fall, even in

April,” she said.

With piles of snow unable to dissuade her, she soon made the decision to make Rochester her permanent home.

Her dream had always been to enter into private practice in addition to teaching at the university, and so she completed the last steps required of her to practice in New York State – the Advanced Education in General Dentistry program. For two years, she was both a student and a clinical

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instructor at EIOH. But the end was finally in sight. After being hired to work in Dr. James Soltys’ prosthodontics practice in Victor, New York in January of 2018, she then took a major leap, and acquired his practice in September of last year, fulfilling a lifelong dream.

Victor Prosthodontics

The culmination of all those years invested in reading and re-reading text books, attending lectures, pulling all-nighters studying for exams, formatting presentations, repeating lab work, and treating patients came to fruition once Gabriela had a practice to call her own. And with two Prosthodontists (Dr. Soltys has stayed on) in the practice and growth in staff, she made the decision to move to a new, state of the art facility just down the road in Victor to East Victor Place, a burgeoning medical complex. Construction was completed on the practice in April of this year.

Greeting patients on the exterior walls and entranceway is the Victor Prosthodontics logo, the sleek silhouette of a butterfly representing the transformation of its’ patients smiles.

Simply gaze around any corner of the office, and the look and feel of the

{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES }

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{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES } “Her first year at the University of Rochester also led her to fall in love with the Greater Rochester Area. ”

feel of the interior is truly a reflection of Gabriela’s spirit.

Gabriela’s focus is on providing patients with the highest level of dental care available anywhere in the region. And with quite a number of patients traveling up to several hours round trip to see Dr. Carranza and Dr. Soltys, patient comfort was also key. “In addition to Netflixenabled 4K TVs connected to noisecancelling headphones, our extended treatment room has an oversized, snug

dental chair with both heat and massage,” beamed Dr. Carranza. “We want them to forget they are receiving treatment until the point they’ve looked in the mirror and they can’t stop smiling because we’ve delivered their new teeth .”

Newly settled in her home away from home, Dr. Carranza can now begin to implement a program designed to honor the sacrifices that her mother previously made for her. Later this year the practice will initiate the Angela’s Award in coordination with local women’s

charities, providing pro bono dental care to a single mother in need.

For more information, please visit: www. victorprosthodontics.com or call their offices at (585) 924-4180

WHEN YOUR SMILE NEEDS A MAKEOVER Dr. Gabriela Carranza is one of only two female Prosthodontists in the Greater Rochester Area. Prosthodontists are the specialists with regards to cosmetic & restorative dentistry.

When not working in her private practice, Dr. Carranza is a Clinical Professor at the Eastman Institute of Oral Health, and studied dentistry for 14 years. She is the dentist that your dentist calls when they need work done. Shouldn't you do the same?

CONTACT DR. CARRANZA TODAY FOR A CONSULTATION: VICTORPROSTHODONTICS.COM/CONTACT-US 6539 ANTHONY DRIVE, SUITE B, VICTOR, NY 14564 (585) 924-4180

{ WOMEN TO WATCH }

THE BISHOP KEARNEY GIRLS HOCKEY TEAM

BY MELANIE BARNUS

“You play hockey?”

“Like, field hockey?”

“No, I play ice hockey.”

stuff: a private co-educational school with rigorous academics located in a big hockey community, and potential dormitory space on the 3rd floor where the Christian Brothers used to live.

If the members of the Selects Academy Girls Ice Hockey Team at Bishop Kearney had a nickel for every time they had that conversation….

There is no arguing that the number of girls playing ice hockey has exploded. In 1991, there were just over 6,000 girls registered with USA Hockey.

Today, it’s more than 75,000.

College programs are steadily increasing with 36 Division I programs and 49 Division III programs across the country.

Right here in Rochester, RIT’s women’s team went in 2012 after their DIII team went 28-1 and won the National Championship. Nazareth College just added a DIII Women’s Ice Hockey program this past year.

The opportunities for girls to play at the highest level while in high school needed to grow to keep with the demand. That is how the Selects Academy Program came to Bishop Kearney. Legacy Global Sports has a very successful boys program at the South Kent Boys School in Connecticut and was looking for a school to start a girls program. Turns out, Bishop Kearney had all the right 112

and Canada moved into a brandnew dormitory space and became inaugural members of the program.

Twins Mia and Maddy Coene from Clayton, NY were two of the first to sign up. Their dad grew up in Rochester and knew the great reputation Bishop Kearney had.

Living in a small town, the options for top-level competition was limited. “Rochester is a hockey hub,” explains Mia, who is Junior committed to Princeton University. “Leaving home at 14 and coming here really wasn’t that hard of an adjustment.” She says, “All of us girls were in the same boat. We came here to focus on hockey and school. It’s been an amazing experience” According to statistics gathered by the NCAA, 25% of girls who played high school hockey during the 2017/2018 school year, went on to play in college. That’s more than twice the amount of any other sport, male or female.

You can see why more and more young women are trading in their figure skates for hockey skates.

After a major investment to renovate the north end of the 3rd floor, the Selects Academy Girls Ice Hockey Program at Bishop Kearney was launched in the Fall of 2016. Twenty student athletes from around the U.S.

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That very first year, the 16U Selects Academy team won the NY State title and went to Nationals.

The following year, the program doubled in size to include a 19U team. One of those young ladies who joined the program that second year is Nina Christof from Germany. She has become an incredible ambassador for the school and the program. “This program was absolutely the best option

{ WOMEN TO WATCH } “You play hockey? Like, field hockey? No, I play ice hockey.”

If the members of the Selects Academy Girls Ice Hockey Team at Bishop Kearney had a nickel for every time they had that conversation….

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{ WOMEN TO WATCH }

“I’ve missed a lot of family parties and normal teenage girl stuff because of my focus on hock like me. They are focused on hockey and achieving succes

HALEY WINN for me. In Germany, I would have to play with the boys. Girls aren’t respected in this sport.” Nina is also appreciative of the flexibility of the teachers at Bishop Kearney with their crazy travel schedule. Christof says, “They make an extra effort to give us our assignments ahead of time so we can work on them while traveling to and from tournaments. I feel very supported and respected.”

The girls travel to at least 6 tournaments each year that can be up to 8 hours away. They have to be disciplined in their time management and study skills. This year, both teams made it

LAILA EDWARDS to the biggest tournament of them all: the National Championships help in Anaheim, California. The 16U team got so close in 2018, losing 2-1 to the Chicago Mission for the National Title. Once again, both teams gave an amazing effort and once again the 16U team made it to the finals losing a heartbreaker again to Chicago Mission 2-0. They came home disappointed but even more determined to get back there next year.

One of the stand-outs in that tournament was Freshman Laila Edwards from Ohio. The University

of Wisconsin commit loves being surrounded by other young women with the same passion for the game that she has. She found it hard to relate to other girls in her school back home because she spent so much time at the rink. Edwards also had trouble relating to the boys on her team because they viewed her differently than their male teammates.

“When I toured Bishop Kearney and met with the coaches, I knew this was the place for me. Everyone shares the same values. The expectations are high and everyone takes this opportunity very seriously.”

{ WOMEN TO WATCH }

key. But that’s what I really like about this program. I am living with 38 other girls who are just ss in this sport at the highest level.” - Sophmore, Haley Winn

MIA COENE Edwards is committed to one of the best college hockey programs in the country. Her goal, like many of her Selects Academy teammates, is to play in the Olympics someday.

“I want to be a role model for other girls who are interested in the sport.”

Hometown girl, Sophomore Haley Winn, has three older brothers who play hockey. As a toddler, she liked to put on her brothers’ gear and go play with them on their makeshift rink in the back yard. Today this Clarkson University commit is one of the top players for her age in the country. It has taken a lot of sacrifice to get where she is today. “I’ve missed

NINA CHRISTOF a lot of family parties and normal teenage girl stuff because of my focus on hockey. But that’s what I really like about this program. I am living with 38 other girls who are just like me. They are focused on hockey and achieving success in this sport at the highest level.”

Haley visited other boarding schools with female hockey programs but in the end realized that her best, most competitive opportunity was right in her backyard.

Winn and Edwards both look forward to being “big sisters” to the new girls

coming in for the 2019/2020 school year. Stay tuned…you will recognize the last names of a few of these new Selects members. One is the niece of a legendary NHL Center, the other…the younger sister of one of the hottest rookie defenseman who helped his team to the Stanley Cup finals this year.

Edwards hopes as more young women break into the sport, it will continue to elevate all female athletes. “No matter what game you play, give it all you’ve got. Life is short. Give 110%. Pain is temporary”

Fac Omnia Bene Do All Things Well Incredible alumnae breaking glass ceilings for women around the world

Bernadette Caulfield ‘74 Executive Producer Game of Thrones

Pam Melroy ‘79 2 woman to ever command a space shuttle mission nd

Kim Allen ‘93 Managing Partner Dixon Schwabl

Current students continue their legacy

Now accepting applications for boys & girls in grades 6 - 12

www.bkhs.org

{ MIND, BODY, SPIRIT }

THE BODY MIND CONNECTION IS KEY

BY ALANA CAHOON

WEIGHT LOSS, CHOCOLATE CAKE, AND THE FEMININE GODDESS You want to feel beautiful. Sexy. Like the feminine goddess that you are. Here’s how mindfulness training and meditation can help.

undesirable cravings such as chocolate cake, coconut pie, or a quarter pounder with bacon and cheese.

By the way it’s very important to inform you that there is nothing wrong with eating chocolate cake, coconut pie, or a quarter pounder with bacon and cheese, unless of course, you wish to lose 15 pounds!

There are a number of other reasons you

1.

2.

You see the cake You imagine what it may taste like

You’ve often read my meditations here. Breathing in love. Breathing out peace. It’s not much different.

It’s connecting your mind - with your breath - with your body. And wallah! The feminine goddess that you are surfaces.

3. Your salivary glands kick in to gear

The Body Mind Connection is a powerful one. So powerful that I’ve created a long-standing program all about it. In its seventh year, this program trains your mind to take over your body when it comes to food and eating patterns. It’s a meditative experience that lasts a lifetime.

Your urge to eat the cake most often has absolutely nothing to do with whether you’re hungry or not. In most cases, the desire for sweets has nothing to do with hunger. Here is what is behind the food trigger.

4. Your stomach begins to growl 5. You grab your piece of cake and devour it

• You’re tired • You’re stressed • You’re bored • You’re lonely

How do you do it? First, you need to have the will to make a change.

We always begin with setting an intention. It can go something like this: “I, Laura intend to lose 15 pounds by exercising 15 minutes per day to feel sexy!”

This becomes your mantra. You will memorize this and repeat it often!

A mantra is a Sanskrit word literally meaning ‘protecting the mind’. And that is the key to meditation. You are protecting your mind.

Freeing it from any debilitating thoughts.

In this case it may be to assist you from 120

Our mind can get so cluttered that it can be a challenge to make wise choices. Especially when we’re around - let’s call them - food triggers. Using the examples above: a cake, a pie, and a quarter pounder - our mind is the first to respond. Here’s the process.

Any of these feelings may be at the root of your cravings. They may influence steps one and five of the sequence noted below. may want to avoid artery clogging foods, but an occasional indulgence is perfectly acceptable.

1. You imagine seeing a cake

It’s all in the mind.

3. Your salivary glands kick in to gear

One of my favorite sayings, especially during this program is to ‘Get out of your head and into your body.’ Now that may sound contrary to meditation however, hear me out.

4. Your stomach begins to growl

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2. You imagine what it may taste like

5. You make it your mission to find a piece of cake and indulge in it ravenously

If you are one of my students or clients, you’re well aware of my craving for cake.

Here’s my cake story for those of you who haven’t heard it yet!

My story of sweet cravings I was in the mood for cake. Not just any cake. But that wedding cake I grew up with.

You may know the kind. Rich chocolate interior. White thick frosting exterior. With the roses on top. That’s the kind of cake I crave. I know exactly where to get it. In the dessert aisle of our grocery success story, the almighty Wegmans. And there it was.

Perfectly adorned with colorful flowers you could eat.

I placed that $11 single layer cake on the top of my grocery cart. And decided to walk around the store a few more minutes.

Maybe to pass the time. Maybe to see if it would somehow alleviate whatever mood this was that I had found myself in. No such luck.

As I slowly perused one aisle a little girl looked at me and announced loudly, ‘Look mommy! She has a birthday cake.’

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She then raised her beautiful big brown eyes toward me and asked cheerfully, ‘Is it your birthday?’

Why me, I thought. I only came here to drown my sorrows whatever they were.

And this cake was going to help me do that.

I usually love kids. But really, I wasn’t in the mood. With a very false voice with a very false smile, I responded, ‘No. Not today!’

I made my way to the checkout, and was greeted by the most helpful cashier I’ve ever met.

“Would you like me to have that sent over to the dessert department? They could write happy birthday to you, if you’d like!’

By now my emotions were brimming.

Maybe I should start drinking and just go find a local bar, I thought.

Again with braced teeth and a fake smile I responded, ’No. Not today.’

That’s all I remember of the story. I’m sure

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the cake tasted good. But here’s the key I’d like to share with you.

This happened recently. I was living, breathing, and likely teaching my program!

Because of that, I was fully aware of what I was doing. I knew that I was struggling with a deep, unidentified emotion. And I knew that the craving I had was real.

Was I physically hungry? No. Was I emotionally hungry. Oh, yes.

I did not need to lose weight. I was working out regularly and eating a healthy daily diet.

I allowed myself, on a very conscious level, to indulge in my sweet craving. I portioned out one piece of cake, and then a second. I ate slowly, and deliberately, enjoying every bit of it. I paid attention to my stomach and when I was full, I stopped eating.

Then, I asked myself what was bothering me, and slowly allowed the answer to reveal itself.

Mindful eating is the key.

Body Mind Connection

“After the creative visualization exercise I felt beautiful.

Inside & out.”

6 Week Online Program September 2019

Understand Your Unique Eating Patterns Nutrition Healthy Eating Avoid Food Triggers ÒI lost 15 poundsÓ

You will receive PDFs Enter into an online community & Feel better in your own skin!

Improve Your Body Image

Lose Weight & Feel Great!

Exercise & Fitness Yoga & Meditation Ayurveda Body Type

Creative Visualization Mindfulness Guided Meditation

ÒI can Þnally zip up my dress!Ó

www.AlanaCahoon.com

“I feel better, lighter. It’s not about dieting.”

{ IN HER DEFENSE }

INVASION OF YOUR SAFETY

BY DAVE JENKINS

This recurring column by David S Jenkins of Rochester Personal Defense, LLC will explore different areas and methods of personal protection and self-defense. Topics will range from using specific tools, techniques, or even yourself and your mind as the weapon. The goal is to create a more aware and safer you!

Questions or suggestions are welcome!

Over time, I get asked quite a few questions regarding personal defense. It is interesting the different types of questions that I will hear from all types of people, in all walks a of life. What I have found is that everyone is concerned about the same things. Here are a few that I have answered in recent months: Q: I leave work late in the evening and I must walk nearly ¼ mile to my car from the hospital. What can I do in case I am jumped?”- Anne A: There are many things that you can do to be proactive. The best thing is to not be distracted, keep your head up and eyes scanning in a relaxed manner. Think of it this way: enjoy the scenery, look at people, look at things around you – interact with life! Predatory type people will look for signs that you are not paying attention. They want to get close to you and prevent you from seeing them approach or stop you from having any reaction time once they get close. Keeping your head up and eyes looking around presents an image of awareness and readiness that can work in your favor.

The second option is to take our EQUALIZER self defense course to learn what you can do should an attack occur.

Q: My company bought us all whistles for self-defense. How good are they really? Connie A: Unfortunately, not very good. that was 126

a feel good, inexpensive attempt at a very important solution that requires much more than just handing out whistles. Investing in a true self defense course that teaches physical skills will do a better job of allowing you to be safer. This course should be more than just a short, 2hr seminar. The skills need time to develop by repetition and feedbacksomething you won’t get in a short seminar.

If your company is unwilling to do a course for you, then you should take the initiative and obtain the training yourself.

day. When an MCI happens at a mall, we usually think of our teenage youths. When it happens at a school, we think about our younger kids. At church? We react with horror because of the supposed sanctity and security of our churches.

What can we do about them? Learn what factors contribute to an MCI, Learn how to prevent, minimize, and eliminate the threat of an MCI and we are much better off.

Q: I was given pepper spray a few years ago as a gift. Someone just told me that it was illegal for me to have, is this true? - Julie L A: Pepper spray is perfectly legal in NY State. I encourage everyone to carry some as it can be an effective self defense tool when used properly.

Legally, you can use your pepper spray if you reasonably feel that someone is threatening you and they are about to grab you, hurt you, or worse.

If your spray is more than 2 years old, I would also suggest replacing it with a newer one. The spray units do have an expiration date.

Q: I see all these stories about church and school shootings, and it seems as if it’s a huge issue. Is that true? If so, what can I do about it? – Kurt M A: Kurt: That’s a good question. Here’s the short answer. The average person’s chances of being in a school, church, or crowded area where someone enters and starts hurting or killing people is still VERY minimal. You have a far greater chance of being in a car accident or house fire than you do of being in an MCI (Mass Casualty Incident). The overlying factor is the emotional response to these incidents. That’s what keeps us focused on these incidents and makes it seem as if they are happening almost every

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Q: What can I teach my 7 year old about self-defense?- Mark Z A: Actually, quite a bit. Younger kids are rarely taught how to defense themselves because people will think they are too small or not able to understand. Trust me, they are fully capable of taking care of themselves. You must give them permission to do it! In our youth self defense courses, we teach them about recognizing people based on their actions, words, and how they feel around others. Kids have a well tuned sense of intuition that has not been dampened by adult life (yet). If a child or youth says they are not comfortable around someone or they don’t like them, take that as a warning sign.

{ IN HER DEFENSE }

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{ IN HER DEFENSE } “Over time, I get asked quite a few questions regarding personal defense. It is interesting the different types of questions that I will hear from all types of people, in all walks a of life.”

As for physical skills, kids can learn just about every skill an adult can. Those skills may not be as fully effective as an adult, but they will work.

Q: I have been curious about guns for a while but do not know where to go. I want to learn how to shoot a handgun. How do I start?- Lisa K A: Wonderful! In NY State, if you are over 21, you must obtain a pistol license in order to handle or shoot a handgun legally. I know, this sounds backwards, but that’s how NY State’s laws are written. Obtaining a license is not that difficult. We have a service that can guide you through the first steps of filling out the paperwork, selecting a handgun, and even how to be safe in the operation and carry of your new handgun.

Being curious is one of the best ways to discover the world of firearms. A lot of people do not know where to go to ask, or who would be a good resource to learn from. From experience, most people are not – unless they have been taught by a professional instructor, or if they themselves are a professional instructor. Just because someone owns a handgun does not mean they know what they should know to

be a good resource for you. Come see us, we have NY State’s largest training group for firearms training.

Q: What would you suggest I can do for better home security?- William F A: We can start with the basics. Better locks on your doors and windows. Oh, and actually USE THEM!. Most of your standard locks are not high security. You’ll want to look for locks made by Master, Schlage, Medeco, Yale, or Baldwin. Don’t buy the cheapest ones either. Buy the mid to higher grade as they will have better locks, longer deadbolts, and better keying systems. Your deadbolt should go at least 1” into the door frame and into the framing. If the deadbolt and handle are within 12” of each other, they may as well be one lock. You’ll want a wider distance to better secure the door.

Get good window locks as well. Replace the older, worn out ones. They will seal much better and make it harder to slip the lock to open the window.

Use exterior lighting. Make a ring of light around your home that people must walk through.

Get an alarm (Use this one too!). There are MANY locally run and monitored companies that are great. (Keystone Security Systems is one of them). An alarm may be inconvenient but the security it offers outweighs the extra work.

Know your neighbors. In today’s world, we tend to focus inward and not outward.

Knowing your neighbors will allow you to know who is normally in your area, who stands out, what the normal, everyday life activity can be, and what is not. A neighborhood that looks out for one another experiences far less crime than one where no one knows anyone.

Look Dave Jenkins up on his company’s website at www.safeinrochester.com, or call him at 585-406-6758. He always more than willing to educate, chat, or work with you to obtain your goal of education and safety.

Rochester Personal Defense, LLC and The LionsPride Training Group are the area’s predominant self-defense and personal protection education companies. Come find out why!

{ QUEEN “P” }

WE WOMEN MUST IMPLEMENT HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

BY SRADDHA PRATIVADI, MD, CHT

IN ORDER TO ALIGN OURSELVES WITH HEALTH AND PROSPERITY Have your ever felt overwhelm, despair, frustrated, discouraged, afraid, guilty or traumatized? These are signs your boundaries were violated or you are violating another’s boundaries. If you struggle with these emotions on a regular basis, you are struggling with your boundaries. These emotions are indicators that you are not in alignment with a mindset nor a physiology that creates health, prosperity and happiness.

problem that manifests itself into multifarious symptoms and medical conditions . . . even lost dreams and opportunities.

Having healthy boundaries is central to living in alignment with who you really are. This is in turn creates health, wealth and happiness. How? Keep reading.

If we don’t know and respect our boundaries we are telling others to not respect them as well.

Healthy boundaries foster trust, intimacy, sharing, honesty, communication, respect and happiness.

Unhealthy boundaries are created by early experiences in getting one’s needs met and surviving. It is deeply connected to our primitive nervous system functions such as fightflight-freeze. This today manifests as anxiety (fight), depression (flight) and procrastination (freeze).

Modern medical practice likes to reduce this to biochemical reactions, but the reality is that it is more complex than that and successful intervention doesn’t just require manipulating molecules. It must go much deeper, more upstream as to why these patterns emerged in the first place.

Having healthy boundaries reduces stress and anxiety and in medical career of over a decade, I have seen how this is the core 134

Common things people think or say with poor boundaries “I just want to go along to get along, and not make any waves.” “I’d e so much happier if I can just get that person to do what I want.” “I don’t deserve the respect I’ll be asking for if I would enforce a healthy boundary.” Meaning your needs don’t matter as much as the other persons.

“I just want other people to like me.”

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These thoughts are generated by and create lower vibration emotions such as shame, guilt, apathy, grief, fear, desire, anger, pride Violated boundaries created lower emotions.

Lower emotions create a biochemistry that results in disease. The increased stress and anxiety of this also results in a series of biological changes that result in increased inflammation, increased autoimmunity, increased disruption of our microbiome and even dysglycemic changes that create all sorts of metabolic and hormonal imbalances that are not in line with our overall health as women. Having our boundaries violated over and over creates repetitive triggers of these biochemical processes, and over time wreaks havoc on our bodies and our minds.

How is this connected to prosperity?

Besides the obvious fact that health is our first wealth, when negative emotions are repetitively triggered in our lives, we are not able to turn our thoughts and dreams into physical reality. This is because the universe has a vibrational creative mechanism and the higher emotions accelerate and facilitate your ability to attract to you what and who you really want– as long as your thoughts mean more and fuller life for all – including yourself! How do you create high vibration? Through your emotions and the thoughts you choose to think daily and repetitively. How do you know you are choosing the right thoughts?

Well, how do they make you feel? If they make you feel crappy, you are picking the wrong thoughts and you will just get more of the same negativity that made you upset to begin with.

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{ QUEEN “P” } “Healthy boundaries redirect and increase your energy, motivation and drive to succeed with your own plans, goals and dreams.”

The universe is over 99.99% unmanifested intelligence or a zero-point field of thought energy. A miniscule part is matter in various different levels of organization, including biological systems. The law of attraction is a secondary law – the primary is the law of vibration. Your thoughts, words and physically manifested experiences have a vibration to them. Whatever vibration you are, you will attract more of what you are feeling. And biggest key here? The thoughts of what you desire manifest more quickly and easily when you are in alignment with the higher vibration emotions of joy, love, peace and enlightenment These emotions don’t exist when your 136

boundaries are being violated or you are violating those of other people.

“Healthy boundaries redirect and increase your energy, motivation and drive to succeed with your own plans, goals and dreams.”

- Hypnosis Motivation Institute Scientific theories of how these interactions work is interesting, but unless we have a simple, elegant model of how to incorporate these ideas into daily life, the scientific knowledge is worthless to the masses.

Luckily, we have one and it has been used to increase the value of companies around the world by hundreds of millions of documented wealth. It has also been used in families

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and individuals in their daily lives to heal relationships and improve results. We call this “your inner genie.” Get your free E-book and trainings explaining this concept further and how to incorporate heathy boundaries into your health and prosperity plan at EliteMindPRO.com/FREE. Sraddha Prativadi, MD as an experienced integrative holistic gynecologist who is trained in hypnotherapy, transformational coaching and entrepreneurial breakthrough mastery. She is a best-selling author and currently focuses on writing her upcoming publication through HayHouse and helping entrepreneurs, artists and individual professionals reprogram the paradigms that limit their results through her coaching and consulting practice WomanUpBooks.com

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“HEALTHY BOUNDARIES FOR HEALTH AND PROSPERITY - WHAT WE WOMEN MUST IMPLEMENT IN OUR LIVES” DO YOU EVERY FEEL ANY OF THE FOLLOWING? OVERWHELMED: “My commitments are more than my resources and I can’t prioritize my needs” DESPAIR: “No matter how much I try, it is never enough.”

FRUSTRATED: “I’m such a perfectionist - it’s exhausting and I’m always a failure.”

DISCOURAGED: “I’m always beating myself up over things I woulda, coulda shoulda done.”

AFRAID: “It’s so hard for me to ask for what I want or need.”

GUILTY: “I can’t say no to others. I feel terrible and it is so much easier to just say yes.”

TRAUMATIZED: “My home life was (is) filled with trauma, alcohol, drugs, abuse and other addictions.”

If you said “yes”, then sign up for updates from WomanUpBooks.com to get this FREE training and other resources to support your path to prosperity and health, while being the first in the know about the upcoming release of The New Vagina D.I.E.T.

Sign up for publication announcements, special offers and free pre-launch trainings and events at :

WomanUpBooks.com

{ QUEEN OF ARTS }

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{ HEALTHY WOMAN }

3 MYTHS OF MAMMOGRAPHY MYTHS OF MAMMOGRAPHY

A screening mammogram is an important step in a woman’s preventative healthcare routine.

Unfortunately, there is a lot of misinformation regarding screening mammography and breast cancer.

Below are the most frequent myths I encounter when dealing with my patients.

should not prevent a patient from pursuing screening imaging. In our local patient population only 4% of the patients we diagnosed last year had a known gene mutation.

FOLLOW-UP TESTING OF MAMMOGRAPHY SCREENING Major health organizations, such

MYTH Annual screening mammography is only important for patients with a family history of breast cancer.

THE FACTS Seventy-five percent of women diagnosed with breast cancer have NO family history of the disease.

In the general population 12% of women will develop breast cancer in their lifetime and 42,000 Americans will die from breast cancer this year.

Women who are at a higher than average risk due to personal or family history, prior atypical biopsy results, certain genetic factors etc. may benefit from additional screening (ultrasound, MRI) and/or genetic counseling.

However, the absence of risk factors

as the American Cancer Society, as well as our local imaging community continue to recommend that women should be screened annually beginning at age 40. For more information go to sbi-online.org and talk to your healthcare provider.

Myth Screening mammography should not be performed in younger patients (ages

40-50) due to false positive results.

THE FACTS A false positive is an area that appears abnormal on initial imaging but represents normal tissue on subsequent studies. False positives can generate additional testing in order to determine a true result. In mammography, false positive results can mean anything from additional mammographic views, after which most patients will not require further workup, to ultrasound or minimally invasive biopsy procedures.

Out of every 100 women who have a mammogram; 95 will be told that their mammogram results are normal, and 5 will be asked to return for additional mammogram and/or ultrasound testing. We feel strongly that women should be aware of these statistics to make an informed decision on how they weigh the risk of being one of the women who potentially needs additional workup versus the risk of not screening. Of note, 12% of the cancers we diagnosed in our community in 2018 were in women in their forties.

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{ HEALTHY WOMAN } “Seventy-five percent of women diagnosed with breast cancer have NO family history of the disease.”

MYTH Mammography is ineffective in screening for cancer in women with dense breast tissue.

THE FACTS Breast density is determined by the proportion of fat and glandular tissue in the breast. The more glandular tissue a patient has, the more “dense” the tissue is graded. Each patient is assigned a breast density classification on their mammogram which ranges

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from entirely fatty tissue to extremely dense glandular tissue. Small breast cancers can be harder to identify on traditional mammograms in patients with dense tissue, however a newer technology called tomosynthesis (3D mammography) spreads out the tissue to improve detection. Additionally, screening breast ultrasound provides another way to “see through” the density and find small masses.

Mammograms remain the most

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accurate tool available to diagnose ductal carcinoma in situ or DCIS which can be the earliest form of breast cancer we can identify. In patients with dense tissue, consideration should be given to screening mammography accompanied by ultrasound to offer the most comprehensive benefits of imaging.

Batavia Brighton CarthagE

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viCtor

yearly mammograms starting at age 40 .

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Three out of four women diagnosed with breast cancer have no family history of the disease and are not considered high risk Mammography has helped reduce breast cancer mortality in the U.S. by nearly 40% since 1990 1 in 6 breast cancers occur in women aged 40-49 Even for women over 50, skipping a mammogram every other year would miss up to 30% of cancers SoUrcE: AMEricAn collEgE of rAdiology / SociEty of BrEASt iMAging

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{ CUSTOM BEAUTE }

THE BODY HEALTH BATTLE

BY CORTNEY KRUGER

ONE WOMAN’S FIGHT TO SAVE HER OWN LIFE BEFORE OBESITY CLAIMED HER AS ANOTHER CASUALTY IN THE BATTLE OF THE BULGE

Many people are familiar with the daily struggle to lose those extra few pounds.

Still others live each day overweight as the obesity epidemic claims hundreds of thousands of lives each year. Sherry Hale, Founder and CEO of the SHALE Group and Western New York’s renowned Master Artist at medi-spa Custom Beaute, is using her platform to share her incredible before and after journey (and the struggles that align with them) in order to advocate for and inspire others to take necessary action in their own lives. With the health issues compounding for her, she fought to save her own life by going from a size 20 to a size 2. Hale’s family history had already seen members lost from the health issues caused by excessive weight, and Sherry wasn’t about to join their ranks. In today’s culture of body positivity and wellness, Hale is hoping her story will motivate others to become their best selves like she has worked so hard to do for herself. Starting with the loss of her father at a young 51, Sherry set her health goals for herself to be met before she turned 50 years old. With that birthday this May 12, 2019, she has surpassed these 146

goals in order to become the best advocate she can be for herself and for many others in need of inspiration. Hale is spreading a message of self-love with a dash of major girl power as she is stepping up to root for those who might not have anyone else in their corner.

Women and men who have struggled their whole lives trying to lose weight are often burdened with guilt and a stigma that suggests that their weight is “their fault”, regardless of how hard they have tried to adjust their food choices and exercise

regimens. When they have finally struggled too long with the weight gain compounding, and they have decided to reach out—to a bariatric surgeon, for instance, in the case of Hale—there are often further hoops for them to go through to reach criteria in order to qualify. For Sherry, her genetics were working against her from a very young age. “Being overweight runs in my family,” Hale said. “Everyone seemed to be always fighting weight and health issues.” Over a time period of 10 years 8 family members were lost due to health conditions. Her father’s youngest brother (at over 350 pounds) died from a heart attack

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at age 62. Her father’s middle brother has battled weight issues, her dad’s father, had a quadruple bypass from cholesterol and has passed from complications related to diabetes, and many of the other members are fighting the battle as well.

Sherry’s weight struggles started at around 12 years old and held a constant presence for most of her life. After getting married and having 2 children she found herself at over 200 pounds with each child. Grappling with depression, and trying every weight loss program available, it was only when she practiced a low-calorie diet throughout a grueling year that she was successful in losing the weight for the first time. Sherry says, “I discovered that I had a poor metabolism and a low calorie diet and constant exercise was the only program that worked for me”. The weight loss was only short lived, however, as her father’s cancer battle began, and the stress resulted in her weight beginning to rise again. It was at that time that family deaths started and continued, as did her weight gain over the next 15 years.

Diets are notoriously unsustainable, and lead to that yo-yoing effect in weight gain and loss. Sherry wasn’t happy and health issues were creeping in - she had finally had enough and looked into bariatrics. It just made sense. If having a low metabolism and needing a low calorie intake worked, then bariatrics sounded like it might be the right tool. At 38 years old and 190 pounds she inquired, only to be turned away because she didn’t meet the requirements of a BMI of 45. Forced to battle for two more years

{ CUSTOM BEAUTE } “In today’s culture of body positivity and wellness, Hale is hoping her story will motivate others to become their best selves like she has worked so hard to do for herself. ”

tool. At 38 years old and 190 pounds she inquired, only to be turned away because she didn’t meet the requirements of a BMI of 45. Forced to battle for two more years losing some and gaining again, her weight spiked at 210 pounds in 2010, when she went back to her doctor to ask again about the bypass program. There were many requirements, but it was worth it for her to try. “I had to write down all of my diet efforts for the past 20 years of my life, go to a counselor, go to seminars, take a number of health tests and then apply for insurance,” Sherry says. “I was turned down because I was 2 points short of the BMI (Body Mass Index) requirements.” The BMI is a notoriously unreliable tool used to gauge health, and it is an unfortunately common 148

occurrence where insurance companies are left to make decisions about women’s health—Denying them potentially lifesaving procedures if they’re deemed “not bad enough,” forcing them to gain more weight, and virtually making themselves sicker in order to be allowed to get better.

Many give up; Sherry did not. She fought for another year and a half until she was finally approved for surgery.

At this point she was preparing herself for a major surgery that would alter the course of her life forever. Even with the most ideal of circumstances, where patients are fully supported by family and friends, there are lots of bumps and unexpected consequences of these procedures that many patients are

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very unprepared for. These kinds of surgeries result in more than physical changes; it’s a mental battle also and if one isn’t supported along this journey it can be incredibly challenging. Unfortunately for Sherry she was almost always going this course solo. It was that period after approval, but before the surgery that Sherry identified as being “the hard part,” and that was convincing herself and her small family for the support to go through with it. Many times, Hale found herself feeling very alone – “It was a very scary decision for all us”.

When the day of surgery arrived, she was 217 pounds and “scared out of my life”. As she was prepped for surgery and ready to go under the knife, she wondered what on

earth was she doing. “I was frightened to the core and almost ran”. But Sherry says she “talked herself into staying, closed her eyes and prayed hard—20 years of misery, health issues, and family loss was enough—this was the only answer to not become ill and join the rest of the passed family.” The surgery—a sleeve gastrectomy—reduced Sherry’s stomach to a 4 to 6 ounce capacity.

Now, there is no magic pill for weight loss, and Sherry stresses that having the surgery was “only a tool”. It was not a free ride or a given solution. “I could still put more food in my mouth than I could handle, which would force me to throw up, gain weight and potentially face very dangerous health issues.” Surgery was an aid, not an answer. Dieting was still a reality for her, and unlike what people think, it was very hard work. After putting in that work for about a year, her weight fluctuated between 138 pounds and 145 pounds for 4 years.

In 2018, however, she hit a road bump.

“I started putting weight back on,” she says. “I was up to 157. I had some crazy, insatiable hunger that I thought might be hormonal due to my age, and no one could figure it out with blood tests.”

Bariatric doctors say that the 4th year is when the body reaches “normalization” and the fight becomes hard again. With some additional support from her doctor with vitamins and adjusted medications, she was back on track and lost her final weight reaching her goal of 130 pounds for her short frame of 5’3”.

Her journey was not over, however. The effects of weight loss were startling and required treatment of their own. Sherry lost the weight of a whole person, and that transition wasn’t easy. During the weight loss the body suffers many changes that include hair loss and, for Hale, tremendous body aches and excess skin that she did not expect. These bring new complications and challenges where one can find themselves feeling very alone and lacking the support of family and friends.

Once the weight is loss, the family and friends only see the positive change that has happened on the outside. This phase is one of the biggest obstacles that patients face contributing to that same negative

self-image and onset of depression. This is an intimate issue that Sherry is all too familiar with to this day: “Since losing that weight, I looked at myself and seen unsightly skin that I never expected to happen – I have good skin, how can this be? It’s almost worse than just having the weight on. It is something that is really terrible to look at, and I had to take the next journey to start and remove it. Research, careful attention and planning were now the next phase of reaching my goals. Over the next 3 years, I started with having skin removed. This was an extremely long and painful process and second phase to this journey. Others patients much larger than I was, face even worse challenges with terrible rashes and skin problems. Now at a weight goal that was healthy for me, why did people say I looked too thin or sick? It was because my face also lost collagen and showed bone structure and sunken eye sockets.”

Facial rejuvenation that included very natural and strategically placed collagen were the touches that give us the Sherry Hale we know today. Despite the challenges, though, Sherry knows that many patients would consider giving up and she wants them to know that at the end of her journey, she wouldn’t have done it any other way: “What I have been through has been the hardest years of my life, and it has been an ongoing struggle for me for over 20 years. What people don’t see? It’s painful and a hard life, and it hurt all those years not being able to fully enjoy life. To be too large to sit in a seat on a rollercoaster next to my children or sitting on a plane and knowing that my body was in my neighbor’s space. Hurtful, embarrassing and negative self-thinking was a constant most of my adult life. And believe it or not, learning how to dress as the weight comes off and the expense of going through a new wardrobe, size after size…

I don’t ever want to go back to that dark place in my life that haunted me for so many years!”

has now grown to the SHALE Group with three companies all working to improve the lives of others. She works every day in her clinic to ensure that her clients look and feel their very best.

Knowing personally the pain that comes from low self-esteem and low self-worth because of how you think you look, she strives to help each person transform their outward appearance to match the person they feel they are on the inside. She helps clients become their own goddess and encourages them to reach their own goals. Performing over 10,000 procedures and having a large following, clients seek her advice and follow her. Never one to contribute to another woman’s negative self-image, but encouraging the change they desire, Sherry knows the importance of building women up.

Helping her customers become their own biggest advocates is Sherry’s daily goal, and through her work she gives the gift of confidence to many who might never have realized their full potential, or who were going their paths alone as she felt she was. She is a living example of the success of her own work and commitment, and she offers nothing less to her clients at Custom Beaute.

Always available for consult, Sherry is ready to meet her clients where they are on their own journey and helps to empower them to move on to their next step. The motto at Custom Beaute is “Embrace Your Grace”, and Sherry Hale is always ready to help women do just that.

During this journey, Sherry also began building her empire of helping others.

She started Custom Beaute (opening the doors just weeks near her surgery), that ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JUNE/HEALTH & WELLNESS EDITION 2019

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{ WE ARE PURE BARRE }

STEPPING UP TO THE BARRE

BY SARAH WRIGHT I PHOTOS BY PAUL VAN HOY II

Pure Barre Pittsford opened in 2017 in Pittsford Plaza and is owned by Christine Limuti and Dalya Crawford.

Barre is a workout program quickly gaining popularity in the United States and Europe, though it has been around since 1959. Barre became a fitness program when German dancer Lieselotte “Lotte” Berk composed a series of isometric, lowimpact movements to help her recover from a back injury while staying in shape and refining her technique.

Today, barre has blended ballet techniques with influences from Pilates, yoga, and aerobics. Many varieties of barre exist, with unique names and practices. Pure Barre was founded in 2001

by Carrie Dorr, a professional dancer, choreographer, and trainer, going on to become a franchise in summer 2009.

I visited Pure Barre on a cool June morning to interview Christine. The glass-fronted studio is filled with champagne-colored light, and behind a door, an instructor is conducting a class as peppy music bumps like a second heartbeat.

Christine greets me and we settle down to talk.

Tell me about your background in fitness.

“I’ve always had a passion for fitness and movement. I was a collegiate 152

athlete for St John Fisher’s Women’s Basketball team. I began marathontraining post-college and was fortunate to participate in both the Boston and NYC marathon, among others. I took my first Pure Barre class during

Tell me about your partner, Dalya.

“Dalya is my childhood best friend who moved to Atlanta and came across Pure Barre in 2013, when she joined a 30-day challenge and experienced incredible results! She has been a huge advocate of the Pure Barre technique since then and was eager to partner with me to bring Pure Barre to our hometown. Dalya has excelled in business development, and my husband and I are selfstarters of several restaurants and bars in the Rochester area.

Our professional experiences paired with our love for fitness and people- we were certain we’d make a great team!”

What should you expect during your first class?

“You’ll be welcomed with encouragement, personalized attention, and a supportive community. The Pure Barre program is built to be challenging regardless where you are in your journey- a beginner or celebrating your 1000th class. You should expect to feel a bit overwhelmed at first, because you’re likely working muscles you’ve never worked before!

the peak of marathon training and was humbled by the intensity and challenge. I quickly realized the benefits of cross-training with Pure Barre as a runner and athlete.”

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Come with an open mind and commit to 3 or more classes to catch on to the flow and moves of class and be able to follow your teacher’s cues. Don’t be intimidated by your teacher providing hands-on corrections, as this level of attention

{ WE ARE PURE BARRE } “Today, barre has blended ballet techniques with influences from Pilates, yoga, and aerobics. Many varieties of barre exist, with unique names and practices.”

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{ WE ARE PURE BARRE } “The barre is intended for balance and to create resistance during certain parts of class.”

is what really sets Pure Barre a part from other fitness programs. Before you know it, you will hear your teacher calling out your name over the mic, raving about how awesome your form is!”

What advice would you give someone who has never taken Pure Barre?

“Embrace the shake! That’s a result of your muscles fatiguing and that’s when you start to see positive changes in your body. Also, don’t hesitate to stay after class and ask your instructors questions if you weren’t clear on any of the moves or techniques.”

Who benefits most from Pure Barre?

“Everyone! The majority of our clients are women but we continue

to see more men try Pure Barre to strengthen their core, work the smaller muscle groups they normally don’t focus on, and increase their flexibility.

Because the classes are all low-impact, pregnant women, people of older ages, and those recovering from injuries can also benefit from Pure Barre, whereas other fitness classes may be too strenuous due to the nature of high-impact workouts.”

Is there something you would recommend combining with barre?

“Pure Barre focuses on building core strength throughout your entire body, which will allow you to perform better with other exercises as well as general life activities, such as playing outside with your kids. It can be

your sole fitness program or it can complement another program- we see the cross-training benefits most often with runners.”

Are there any misconceptions about Pure Barre that you want to clear up?

“Haha, oh yes! People initially think Pure Barre is a ballet class or only geared toward dancers, which is a huge misconception! It’s for anyone who wants to tone and build long, lean muscles across every muscle group, especially the difficult areas that most women are looking to target, like toned underarms, a lifted seat, a flatter stomach, and slimming the inner parts of the legs. The barre is intended for balance and to create resistance during certain parts of class.

{ SHIFT+CONTROL }

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{ {WE ARE PURE BARRE} } SHIFT+CONTROL “You’ll be welcomed with encouragement, personalized attention, and a supportive community. The Pure Barre program is built to be challenging regardless where you are in your journey- a beginner or celebrating your 1000th class.”

We incorporate common drills used in high-intensity interval training, such as push-ups and burpees for a truly well-rounded workout regimen!”

How can someone get started with Pure Barre? “ We o f f e r everyone their first class free and will schedule a new client into one of our Foundations Classes! This small group setting will introduce you to the basic movements of Pure Barre and will build your confidence as you learn how our technique works and all the benefits it has to offer. We hold Foundations classes every Tu e s d a y a t 6:30pm, Thursday at 9:30am, and Sunday at 11:00am. All you have to do is e-mail pittsford@ purebarre.com or call our studio at (585) 690-6102 and our team will get you scheduled!”

We continue to talk, and Christine explains that there are three different modalities of training at Pure Barre.

These are not different levels, but different concentrations. The classic

Pure Barre class focuses on building strength and definition, the Pure Empower class is for cardio and endurance, and the Pure Reform includes balance and resistance.

Christine recommends using the Pure Barre website for information on

their practices, as there are different types and practices, including Booty Barre, Barre3, and Pop Physique.

Christine also advises wearing closefitting, stretchy clothes to the classes for more freedom of movement and so that the instructor can monitor

your form and movements closely, helping you adjust to get the most out of the workout. Also, wear grip socks, as you really don’t want to slip.

The Pure Barre website has a helpful glossary of terms you’ll hear in the classes, such as heavy tailbone, a position where you firm your abdominals while aligning head, neck, spine, and hips. With a pressback, you move your knees back while keeping a heavy tailbone, placing tension on the weightb e a r i n g musculature for strength and tone. To tuck, pull your abs in and tilt your hips forward to lengthen your spine.

Pure barre encourages visitors and hosts regular events, which you can find on their Facebook page, as well as a class schedule on their website. Free June events include Summer Solstice Yoga and a smoothie creation class.

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Pure Barre Rochester-Pittsford, NY a: 3349 Monroe Ave. Ste. 27b, Rochester, NY 14618 I p: 585-690-6102 e: pittsford@purebarre.com I w: purebarre.com/ny-pittsford/

{ KARMA SPEAKS }

VELCRO SHOES

BY DENISE “KARMA” CLIFFORD I PHOTOS BY PAUL VAN HOY II

So, here we are staring face to face with a seasons change, yet still with one foot stuck in the mud of the cold bleak winter that doesn’t seem to want to let go. I am reminded daily of the beauty and of the grim dangers that lurk on summers doorstep. Once when the outdoors that held the laughter of my children and brought whafts of hot dogs being kissed by flames on a charcoal grill and the assurance that my children only wander as far as the backyard, now are replaced with invisible boundaries I can only hope my children learned to respect, even in my absence . I send my children out into the wilderness where hungry wolves lurk in the shadows, just beyond my sight.

Just outside the barriers where I used to keep them safe. I once longed for the independence and adolescence of my toddlers when a day seemed to wipe out any morsel of energy I had by the time dinner wasn’t even half cooked. I wished the diapers and the runny noses away. The never ending snack times and stories just to get them to sit still. I longed for the days when my children were old enough to have lives separate from mine.

When these tasks would be done, and I could reap all the benefits of the job of a mother. But as summer breaks through the cold wet earth, and I recognize now just how quickly those days passed by, how my longing turned to reality, as the babes I once held are now on the peak of adulthood. It 164

is here where I hold on and struggle with wondering if the small amount of time I spent then, was enough.

But I’m not even sure what that means. All I know is that in the end, when a child turns into an adult, it is not this magical event that happens one night, while they sleep.

It isn’t like losing a tooth and waking up the next morning with a shiny new quarter under that pillow. Or like the night which holds all the magic of a new bicycle when

you creep downstairs in footy pajamas on christmas morning, or even hidden pastel eggs filled with jelly beans you get to play hide and seek with. Not at all as the magic and knowing of what tomorrow will bring, it isn’t the same. You don’t just wake up and take on the new day as the successful adult that once two young anticipating parents hoped for on your 18th birthday.

This magic festers and grows, and most times doesn’t seem so magical at all. At

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least you don’t see that magic, not until all the sanitized bottles have disappeared, and the diaper genie you once hoped for on the baby shower registry is no more than a mere memory, does it ever even feel like magic.

The magic happens after all the sleepless nights of a colicy baby, and the weeks or months or who knows because you lost count of the time spent potty training.

It’s the same book you read over and over, because that ones my favorite, mom. The magic telling your daughter that even though she wants to be your friend, you just cant right now. Because your too busy making sure she becomes a self sufficient strong woman one day. Changes happening daily, yet blinded by lectures and adherence to the rules, even the little ones. Because there is no magic when your trying to raise a person to become a leader, and be self motivated. Teaching how to tie your shoes instead of succumbing to the velcro straps that society has deemed the norm.

Because I refuse to let my child be an adult who relies on velcro straps, I spent countless hours waiting and watching you struggle to get this task of life,then to witness the magic when you look up at me with a toothless grin bursting with pride. “Look momma, I did it myself.” the magic being made because not only did you

{ KARMA SPEAKS }

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“There are no velcro shoes here, because my job is to teach you to take on a task and to learn, even if it doesn’t come easy. I gave rules, set boundaries, and held you accountable for your actions.”

{ KARMA SPEAKS } “It is here where I hold on and struggle with wondering if the small amount of time I spent then, was enough.”

learn to tie shoes, you learned how it felt to accomplish a task, you felt proud.There are no velcro shoes here, because my job is to teach you to take on a task and to learn, even if it doesn’t come easy. I gave rules, set boundaries, and held you accountable for your actions. I established the hierarchy in the family structure, and watched you test this. There is no magic in a punishment, not in the dimly lit bedroom, as the last beam of dust filled sunlight casts tall shadows of tiny stuffed critters on the closet door, as your child sits sulking, cursing mom for putting them there. No, the magic happens after that, after you followed through with the consequences of a rule that was broken, or respect that wasn’t given, and your child comes and explains how hurt they are that they disappointed you. How they understand

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why they were punished and that they will not do what it was they did again. This kind of magic is rough, and it hurts. But I guarantee it’s worth it. I know this as the ten year old who sits excluded from fun, turns into the teenager who has learned the face value of respect, and consequences and owning up to actions. I have not punished you out of spite, yet I gave you the ability to want to make the right choices, and to understand that when you break rules there is a consequence. I didn’t give you empty threats, nor let you take advantage of my love for you. And even so, something magical happened every day. Even on the days you couldn’t go outside, or watch tv or use your phone. The magic was that you still loved me, unconditionally.

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I dictated rules, I took things away, I refused to conform to society’s velcro shoe standard on how we raise our kids. Once I stood in the midst of mud soaked lacrosse cleats, an entire Star Wars themed birthday cake pulled off the table and flipped upside down by a little brother. A little girl who needed to have a certain item to sleep with, so I found multiple on Ebay just in case we left one at camp again. Kids who claimed they wanted to be an only child, yet long to be with the missing sibling when they aren’t here. Just like the seasons change, so has my life. Where I no longer need to dictate.

I have set the rules in the foundation like the handprint of my youth in wet cement dated. To remember once when I was little and wanted to leave my mark. Now only

{ KARMA SPEAKS }

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{ SHIFT+CONTROL }

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{ KARMA SPEAKS } “But as summer breaks through the cold wet earth, and I recognize now just how quickly those days passed by, how my longing turned to reality, as the babes I once held are now on the peak of adulthood.”

on a much bigger scale. I am left with the magic of yesterday’s labors of love. When I hoped that what I taught my kids was enough. I am in the midst of understanding that it was and still is. The change that brings adult conversations where once we recited letters and numbers, and now we speak of drugs and sex and alcohol. Because I set the foundation and communicate. Because I know what lurks outside, in the real world beyond the boundaries I cannot see. The real magic happens when my adult son held off drinking until he was of age. And has learned to respect alcohol because he

knows the demon hiding at the bottom of the glass. He has held hands with this devil and chose to sever the ties, before they set root. Magic when your son tells you about an after party on prom night, and how he may not go to, because of drinking. Having a conversation about choices and telling him its ok to go. You can’t exclude yourself from all the things in life you don’t agree with.

But you can choose your role. And when he comes home and hugs you before he goes to bed. That’s the magic; knowing he went there, but was able to come home sober, because he choose to. The magic is when

your daughter tells you your the strongest smartest woman she knows. And she says this to her friends, when she doesn’t even think your listening.

So here comes a new season, and so much has changed. Am I ready for it, did i prepare the kids?

Karma~

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{ PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY }

LEARN THE TEN WARNING SIGNS OF ALZHEIMER’S

BY COLLEEN BOBER

TEN WAYS TO LOVE YOUR BRAIN

driving to a known location or remembering the rules of a favorite game that they have played for years.

June in Rochester is the month when spring is in full bloom and the promise of summer is just around the corner. Did you know that June is also Alzheimer’s and Brain Awareness Month? This June and throughout the year, consider attending our community education programs offered Rochester and the Finger Lakes area to learn how to recognize the signs of dementia and how to reduce your risk of cognitive decline.

4. Confusion with time or place: Examples may include forgetting where you are or how you got there.

As we age, it may be difficult to understand the difference between age-related changes and the first signs of Alzheimer’s dementia. Some individuals notice changes in themselves, whereas others may have loved ones observe the changes first.

When I sometimes forget names or appointments, it is part of normal aging? When my mom is asking the same question over and over, it is part of normal aging? Memory loss that disrupts our daily lives and decline in reasoning skills may be caused by Alzheimer’s or another dementia. It is important to recognize the 10 warning signs and know what to do next: 1. Memory loss that disrupts daily life: Perhaps, your loved one has forgotten recently learned information and is increasingly relying on memory aids.

2. Challenges in planning or solving problems: Common issues include trouble keeping track of monthly bills.

3. Difficulty completing familiar tasks.

Perhaps, your loved one is having trouble 174

5. Trouble understanding visual images and spatial relationships: Examples include difficulty reading, judging distance, or determining color.

9. Withdrawal from work or social activities: Individual living with Alzheimer’s may remove themselves from hobbies, social activities, or sports.

10.

Changes in mood and personality: Becoming confused, suspicious, fearful or anxious may be an early sign of Alzheimer’s.

If you notice any of these signs or symptoms in yourself or someone you love, it is important to take action. An early diagnosis gives you the best chance to seek treatment and plan for your future.

Learning to love your brain can start at any age. It’s never too late or too early. While research is still evolving, evidence shows that what is good for your physical health is also good for your brain health. Making small lifestyle changes can reduce your risk of cognitive decline: 1. Break a sweat: Engage in exercise that elevates your heart rate and increases blood flow to the brain.

6. New problems with words in speaking or writing: Your loved one struggles to maintain a conversation or calls things by the wrong name.

7. Misplacing things and losing the ability to retrace steps: The individual living with Alzheimer’s may put things in unusual places and may be unable to find these items.

8. Decreased or poor judgment: Examples include using poor judgment with money such as giving large amounts to telemarketers and paying less attention to grooming.

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2. Hit the books: Formal education in any stage of life will help reduce your risk of cognitive decline. Attending an education program presented by the Alzheimer’s Association is a good way to learn more about dementia and to keep your mind engaged.

3. Butt out: Evidence shows that smoking increases risk of cognitive decline. If you quit smoking, you can reduce your risk to levels comparable to those who have never smoked.

{ PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY }

New problems with communication is 1 of the 10 warning signs of Alzheimer’s disease. Recognizing the symptoms is the first step toward doing something about it. For more information, and to learn what you can do now, go to alz.org/10signs or call 800.272.3900.

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{ PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY } “Did you know that June is also Alzheimer’s and Brain Awareness Month? “

4. Follow your heart: Evidence shows that risk factors for cardiovascular disease and stroke negatively impact your cognitive health. Studies also show that intensive treatment to reduce blood pressure can significantly reduce the occurrence of mild cognitive impairment.

5. Heads up: Brain injury can raise risk of cognitive decline and dementia.

Wear a seatbelt, use a helmet when playing contact sports or riding a bike, and take steps to prevent falls.

Did you know? Falls are the leading cause of fatal and non-fatal injuries in older adults, and one-third of adults over age 65 fall every year. Engaging in regular physical activity to improve your strength and balance and reduce your risk of falling.

6. Fuel up right: Eat a healthy and balanced diet that is lower in fat and higher in vegetables and fruit can help reduce the risk of cognitive decline.

Adopting a heart healthy diet may seem daunting. Start by learning more about the Mediterranean and Mediterranean-DASH diets, which aim to promote healthy eating and reduce blood pressure.

7. Catch some ZZZ’s: Not getting enough sleep due to conditions like insomnia or sleep apnea may result in problems with memory and thinking.

8. Take care of your mental health: Some studies link a history of depression with increased risk or cognitive decline, so seek medical treatment if you have symptoms of depression, anxiety or other mental health concerns.

9. Stump yourself: Challenging your mind through activities such as 176

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completing a puzzle, doing something artistic, and playing strategic games may have short and long term benefits for your brain.

10. Buddy up: Staying socially engaged may support brain health. Spend time with friends and family. Find ways to be part of your local community.

Social engagement is associated with reduced rates of disability and mortality, and may also reduce the risk for depression. Getting involved with a local organization, such as the Alzheimer’s Association, is a great way to engage your brain and body. Consider joining our efforts by participating in one of our signature events like The Longest Day or The Walk to End Alzheimer’s.

Taking care of brain health can begin at any age. Everyone, young and old, can do something to promote brain health. The Alzheimer’s Association Rochester & Finger Lakes Region Chapter is here to help. Call our 24/7 helpline at 1.800.272.3900 or visit alz.org/rochesterny

More than 60% of Alzheimer’s and dementia caregivers are women.

The impact of Alzheimer’s on women is real. Not only are women more likely than men to be caregivers, they are also more likely to develop the disease. In fact, almost 2/3 of Americans living with Alzheimer’s are women.

Learn more at: alz.org/women

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{ WORTH MORE NATION }

LADYBUG KISSES PHOTOS AND FEATURE BY SANDY ARENA

FROM TRASH BAGS TUTUS TO MISS WO RT H M O R E NATION PAGEANT BANNERS, CARRIE CRAVER OF LADY BUG KISSES HELPS KIDS IMPACTED

BY FOSTER CARE KNOW THEY ARE WORTH MORE!

events to make sure our kids’ clothes are properly fit and to help organize and keep the events running smoothly. She runs our promotional tables and is always there with a warm smile and helping hand. Behind the scenes, Craver has made Miss Worth More Nation pageant banners, our super cute and popular opening number t-shirts, promotional products and most recently tutu and cape designs made from trash bags for our benefit fashion show that advocated for the message of no more trash bags for

If anyone can turn a trash bag into a sassy and adorable tutu skirt, it’s Carrie Craver of Lady Bug Kisses.

Worth More Nation would not be the same organization it has become today if it weren’t for behind the scenes sewing and designing talents of Craver, who has worked hard and diligently without recognition or fanfare for the benefit of the children impacted by foster care that we serve.

For all of the Miss Worth More Nation pageant events and most recently our Fashion Show Under the Stars event with Rochester Woman Online, Craver has been cutting, designing, sewing and scissoring behind the scenes. She is also on site for all of our fittings, workshops, rehearsals and 182

the more than 400,000 children in foster care in our nation.

Lady Bug Kisses has a small retail store in Ontario at the LW Emporium that sells tutus, capes, t-shirts, bows, cups and jewelry, and also does special order products for companies, organizations and events creating logos, custom signage, and promotional products on t-shirts, water bottles, cups and jewelry. Craver has also introduced a bridal line creating bridal logos and signage making custom items that couples love such

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as bridal party proposal boxes, bridal party water bottles and favors.

When not selling in Ontario or working out of her home based shop, Craver and her Lady Bug Kisses team travels to cheer and dance competitions all over Pennsylvania, New York and New Jersey, and sells specialized products that appeal to those markets including t-shirts, water bottles, leggings, cups and other fun products.

Craver began making children’s clothing like the skirts and capes she made for the Worth More Nation fashion show for her daughter Emily, who is a dancer and former participant in pageants and cheer events. “Nothing fit Emily in the stores, so I just started sewing her clothes.

I used to call my business Emily’s Little Treasures – because she would pick out everything I would make – but I wanted to change the name to reflect something more fitting for both boys’ and girls’ designs,” she said.

Why Lady Bug Kisses?

“Because I love lady bugs,” she said with a smile adding that it is the best feeling in the world when she is creating. “I just want to see people happy and I love it when they get their perfect little something that they wanted!”

One of her favorite children’s clothing items she makes are special birthday outfits that people often hire her to create based off general ideas. “They give me an idea of what they want and then I create it and find out if that is what they are looking for. I never use a pattern,” she said.

{ WORTH MORE NATION }

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{ WORTH MORE NATION } “If anyone can turn a trash bag into a sassy and adorable tutu skirt, it’s Carrie Craver of Lady Bug Kisses.”

Craver learned how to sew by trial and error with one of her most significant training grounds being her wedding! Her bridesmaids needed dresses, and then she ended up also making outfits for the groomsmen, completing the project in a few weeks!

For Worth More Nation’s fashion show project, our team set up a painting event where the children impacted by foster care were invited to custom paint trash bags.

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Once they were dried, Craver combined the painted bags with coordinating tulle and turned the bags into custom design tutus and capes for the boys. Craver also made the t-shirts the children wore using our Worth More Nation logo printed in gold on black t-shirts. Justina Prince then affixed gems to the logos in coordinating colors with the tulle. The kids proudly strutted the runway wearing the designs they helped create that were made just for them,

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and for the day knew they are part of the Worth More Nation we have envisioned!

For more information about Lady Bug Kisses, you can find them on Facebook or Instagram or email us at info@worthmorenation.org.

Worth More Nation Empowering Kids Impacted by Foster Care to Know they are Worth More

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{ THE PERFECT RETREAT { SHIFT+CONTROL } }

CAMP LOON WELLNESS RETREATS

BY GINA LATHAN

HOW IT BEGAN Gina and Jeff Lathan’s first trip to the Adirondacks was in September 1991, just before they were engaged. They fell in love in the Adirondacks, with each other, and with the area! They continued to visit the Adirondacks every year, even as their family grew. Every year it was the vacation choice...offering lots to do and the chance to unwind together!

In the summer of 2009 they began staying in Inlet, NY on Sixth Lake. They were hooked!

Simply put, Inlet and Sixth Lake were the perfect get-a-way destination for them.

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for their family of five, which at the time included three young children. Sixth, Seventh and Eighth Lakes are all connected, and all sit on the north side of Route 28.

Most of the north shores of these lakes are protected State Land. Together, these three lakes offer over 1000 square acres of lake and over 15 miles of shoreline to explore and enjoy. Most of their vacations were not spent running from excursion to excursion, but rather canoeing, swimming, watching the loons play, having campfires, talking, reading, laughing, enjoying every moment

INLET & SIXTH LAKE Inlet is a quaint, welcoming town where the shopkeepers learn your name, everyone gathers at the ice cream stand on summer nights, and the grocery store will open back up after closing if you need a pie (yes…that really happened!) You can watch the beautiful sunset from Arrowhead Park, take a seaplane ride to see the foliage, hike several trails or take a leisurely stroll down main street. No matter what your pleasure is, if you are in Inlet you are slowing down, connecting deeper with those you are with, and living in the moment.

and creating meaningful memories of time spent with each other, their children, friends and family.

Sixth Lake, like the other Fulton Chain of Lakes located in the Adirondack Park, is a crystal clear, mountain filtered body of water. It is one of the smaller lakes making it perfect for canoeing, kayaking and swimming without the worries of excessive boat traffic.

Gina and Jeff found it a perfect destination

CAMP LOON Camp Loon is a special place located on Sixth Lake. Built and renovated with family in mind, with love and care. Camp Loon has become a perfect gathering place for friends and family. This little slice of Adirondack heaven sits on just under 3 acres, backing up

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to State Land that will never be developed.

The camp’s 100 feet of shoreline, includes lakefront, as well as a peninsula and a quiet little “pond” area. Because the property backs up to State Land, there is no road to the camp. It is boat access only, which provides the perfect opportunity for a private retreat, but not remote. It is secluded enough to feel like you have really gotten away from everything, however if you forgot a bottle of wine, the liquor store in Inlet is only five minutes away. The property is unique, serene, and awesome for exploring!

The abstract of the property dates to the early 1900’s. It was parceled off sometime between 1895 and 1902 as a plot of wilderness campsite. In the late 1980’s Blake and Linda Pomeroy purchased the parcel from Harvey and Betty Dunckel. Blake had hopes of building a rough hunting cabin on the property and constructed a simple “A” frame structure. The neighbors share stories of Blake sitting on the front steps with his shotgun, waiting for a big buck (or maybe a bear) to wander through!

In 1997 Mark Bibbens and his wife, Renee, purchased the property and shell of a cabin from the Pomeroy’s, as a family vacation getaway. Mark traveled from their home in Pennsylvania every weekend for over a year working on the camp. By trade Mark was a home inspector, and paid attention to every detail. The interior was framed out, the back porch was enclosed and converted into bedrooms, the interior was finished with

{ THE PERFECT RETREAT } “In early June 2018, ten ladies gathered at Camp Loon for a soulful retreat. The weekend was filled with mindfulness, reflection, good food, laughing, crying, wine, nature and new friendships. The idea of Camp Loon Retreats was born!”

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{ THE PERFECT RETREAT } “It was as if their everyday stresses shed away as they walked across the footbridge. The first night, Gina and Jeff sat out on the porch swing, listening to the peepers and the loons and the quietness. They knew Camp Loon might just be the place they had dreamed of having for so many years.”

tongue and grove knotty pine. Every board was hauled over to the camp property by pontoon boat or row boat, cut and stained

by Mark, his family and friends. The kitchen cabinets custom made. The front porch enclosed and screened in. New foundation piers were constructed. The septic system was designed and installed (although the original outhouse shell still stands at the far corner of the property!)

The exterior was sided, and the dock/boat house was built. All with love, care and attention to detail.

time together at the ADK camps, as well as each other’s homes in the Rochester area.

Gina and Jeff always jumped at the chance to come up to camp to help the Bibbens open or close for the season. A weekend of “work” at camp is not a weekend of work at all...especially when spent with friends in the Adirondacks!

Toward the end of their stay, the Lathans and Bibbens celebrated a successful camp-opening weekend over pizza, wings and “beverages”.

During dinner Gina and Jeff popped the question....”Mark and Cheryl, would you ever consider selling Camp Loon to us?” They responded, “To you folks?

Of course, we would!” The placemat was flipped over, and a plan was scratched out. Three months later Gina and Jeff became the proud owners of Camp Loon and everything it represents.

Sadly, nine years later, Renee passed away. Mark and their children still enjoyed visiting Camp Loon, a place to come together as a family and enjoy nature and together time. In 2008 Mark remarried and introduced Cheryl to life in the Adirondacks.

Together they continued to meticulously maintain the Camp Loon property and opened their doors (and hearts) to guests.

Over the next nine years they shared their Adirondack camp with dozens of families and groups of friends from all over the country.

In 2009, the Lathan family became renters of Mark and Cheryl. They stayed at Bibbens’ camp “Sixth Lake Retreat” on the south side of the lake. During their first stay, they met Mark and Cheryl and immediately became friends! Mark and Cheryl’s hospitality, warm hearts, down-to-earth, and genuine kindness was contagious! Over the next few years, the Bibbens and Lathans spent 192

stay over at Camp Loon, so they could enjoy some quiet time. It was the first time they had stayed at Camp Loon. It was as if their everyday stresses shed away as they walked across the footbridge. The first night, Gina and Jeff sat out on the porch swing, listening to the peepers and the loons and the quietness. They knew Camp Loon might just be the place they had dreamed of having for so many years.

In 2014 Gina and Jeff seriously started looking for their own little slice of heaven in the Adirondacks....a camp or cottage they could call their own, and share with others, just like Mark and Cheryl had done.

In May of 2017 they came up to camp to help Mark and Cheryl spruce up for the season. Mark suggested that Gina and Jeff

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WELLNESS RETREATS AT CAMP LOON About a year later, Gina was talking with a friend who teaches meditation and reiki. Her friend, like many others, appreciates the magic of the Adirondacks.

She asked Gina if she would host a Ladies Meditation Retreat at Camp Loon. In early June 2018, ten ladies gathered at Camp Loon for a soulful retreat. The weekend was filled with mindfulness, reflection, good food, laughing, crying, wine, nature and new friendships. The idea of Camp

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{ THE { { SHIFT+CONTROL ONE PERFECT HIP CHIC RETREAT }} } “As you can imagine, the possibilities for wellness retreats are endless.”

For Gina, the idea of organizing, managing and hosting was not new. Throughout her life she has thrived on planning, organizing and executing. Her almost thirty-year career in the construction industry has demanded skills such as project management, budgeting, marketing, sales and trouble shooting. In her personal life, she and Jeff are the couple always planning for the next gathering…. a wine tour with twenty close friends, a weekend “antique crawl”, a soccer team camp out, a wedding in the Lathan Barn, or a Fear Factor-themed birthday party for thirty teenagers. Gina has served on several boards, and without fail, ends up chairing most event committees.

Organizing, entertaining, bringing people together, making people feel good…Gina’s experience and passions all seem to align 196

when it comes to the Wellness Retreats!

Most people in the wellness, holistic and spiritual communities believe that when you manifest and put something out there, passionately, and for the good of others, a greater power takes over and things come to fruition. This is what happened for Gina with Camp Loon Retreats! After a couple of enlightening, successful retreats, Gina began to “put it out there” and her phone began ringing. Like minded women started coming forward saying “I want to be part of this!” Gina soon had compiled a list of potential partners who she connected with including yoga instructors, nutritional experts, a counselor and certified therapist, photographers, reiki practitioners, massage therapists, authors, CEO’s of successful

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businesses, and even TED Talk speakers!

At the same time, women looking for ways to live with more positivity, connect more deeply with their spouses, define their next life chapter, or find and fire up their inner passion began reaching out to Gina. They wanted to be included in future retreats!

POSITIVITY, PEACE & PASSION at CAMP LOON As you can imagine, the possibilities for wellness retreats are endless. It seems that everyone is looking for guidance, support and direction at some level. Gina decided to focus on what she knows best, and what she can attribute her so far very fulfilling life to….living with Positivity, finding time for Peace and doing everything with Passion. Each retreat focuses on these three

{ THE PERFECT RETREAT }

mantras, while also introducing practical ideas on how to work these into every day life, especially during some of life’s more challenging times.

Gina also believes in Balance. Her retreats are a perfect Balance of fun, relaxation and mindfulness. Along with interesting topics and speakers, her retreats offer great food (special dietary needs can be met), wine tasting, tea tasting, massages, reiki treatments, yoga, meditation, hands on activities and wellness exercises, kayaking, (light) hiking, sunset boat tours, campfires, group time, plenty of personal time, and of course the incredible accommodations of Camp Loon!! Retreats are held at Camp Loon in June, September and October.

THE GIFT OF INTENTION DAY RETREATS As wonderful as Camp Loon Retreats are, Gina recognized that not everyone can get away to the Adirondacks for three days. She is pleased to announce beginning in June she will be offering Day Retreats at “The Barn at The Lathans” located in Genesee 198

County. “The Barn at the Lathans” dates back to the early 1900’s. This beautiful property offers a country setting, surrounded by pine trees, open fields, and a unique gambrel barn gathering space. Conveniently located minutes from 490 exit 2 or minutes from Thruway Exit 47, in the town of Byron.

Similar to Camp Loon (destination) Retreats, like-minded women are invited to gather and explore ways to create and improve their life intentions with Positivity, Passion and Mindfulness. Gina has tagged this 2019 Summer series “The Gift of Intention”.

The first Saturdays of June, July and August, Gina will welcome guests to her property to gift themselves just a few hours of relaxation, reflection, fun and of course great food!

June’s Day Retreat will focus on The Gift of Positivity and cover Intuition, Authenticity, Self-Compassion and Gratitude. July’s Day Retreat theme is The Gift of Passion focusing on Our Strengths, Creating Purpose and Joy. Finally, August’s Day Retreat, The Gift of Mindfulness, introduces ideas on Being Present, Manifesting and Building Your Support Circle.

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LIVING WITH INTENTION This journey has created unexpected connections for Gina with other wellnessfocused people who have their own special talents and gifts to offer. As Gina’s journey progresses, she realizes what a pleasure and blessing it is to provide avenues for women to unplug, relax, reflect, connect and fire up their positivity and passion. She and Jeff both appreciate how fortunate they are, not only for the opportunity to call Camp Loon theirs, but also for the chance to share their camp home and their country home. The evolution of Camp Loon Retreats and Day Retreats is their way of spreading Positivity, Peace and Passion… and empower others to live life with intention!

Gina Lathan Email: retreats@camploon.com Cell: 585-409-8009 Camp Loon www.camploon.com

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{ INNER LIGHT }

THE SPIRITUAL-RE-ALITY OF MENTAL WELLNESS

BY BETH LYNCH

As a Spiritual teacher, Medium and author I want to bring to “light” a natural perspective to understanding spirituality and the science behind it.

We are living in a world where the negative and fear based headlines are bombarding our media. The view we have about ourselves personally, our community and globally more than ever need to be brought to light and seen through the “Eye of the Soul”, the Spiritual-re-ality.

The mental wellness of our world is struggling and many struggling to breathe at the light of d a y. M a n y search outside themselves for happiness and security and love. The only was is to open to the higher perception of who we are as a Spiritual and as a human being.

It is the way we bring to light things that feel dark. It is how to bring a positive charge to the negative (negate of light). This is called healing.

I have learned in over two decades as a practicing medium, which simply is one who is sensitive to thoughts and feelings from those on the other side as well as the energy and emotions around 202

that unless we open our higher “Eye” to your own personal experience we will never be collectively live and love as a collective, peace minded species.

The Spirit of who we are opens us to the wisdom and understanding to healing the open wounds held deep in the perceptions of our religions, races and genders. All areas many are still fighting to defend. From the Eye of the Soul there is no separation, we

around us it is the lack of common sense and compassion that is making headlines. How have we lost that to the point of having to fear sending our children to school, attending concerts even going to our workplace and for some in their own home. sense truly helps make sense of this crazy world.

It is to help people raise awareness to who they are as a spiritual and a human being. To understand what “spirituality” really means. Getting through the myths and misconceptions based on fear and allowing it to bring a higher awareness to themselves personally and professionally.

To help them intellectually, emotional and physically live in the world to day.

In a word, Spiritual-reality!

are One. Living in a society whose collective, Soul foundation is fractured.

It is proving to be destructive to our children and the generation to come paying the price.

When you look at the conditions

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21To learn how to understand and trust intuition is a survival instinct, our natural way. An intuitive mind is a creative compassionate mind. It is our “natural” mindset. There is a science, understanding who we are as an energetic spiritual and a human being the mental health of society will

{ INNER LIGHT } “The view we have about ourselves personally, our community and globally more than ever need to be brought to light and seen through the “Eye of the Soul”, the Spiritual-re-ality.”

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{ INNER LIGHT } “The mental wellness of our world is struggling and many struggling to breathe at the light of day.”

evolve and heal the wounds in the consciousness of our species.

It seems we have given up on our own power to think, to feel and create our destiny. We must for the future of our children and generations to come take this back. We must not be afraid to believe there is more than the physical that there is more to who we are. If we do not want to be more aware of our true natural nature, the Spirit, we will continue to loose our will to live as One. John Lennon’s song, Imagine says it all.

Imagine that we can be as One! Until this 204

perception is understood and the natural, intuitive, compassionate nature is realized we will struggle as a species. We are seeing that happen right before our eyes in the world today.

Self awareness, meditation, intention to heal, live and be creative everyday has helped me personally, professionally and is the fuel to wanting to make the world a better place. We need to begin with our Spirit to live to heal, love and live individually and collectively.

Everyday take a moment, a few slow breaths and say, “I choose to be happy, healthy and creative today. I choose to…” and

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few more slow breaths and a smile. Take mindful moments, breathe, think thankful thoughts where you can and pray for the strength persevere when you need. Believe in a Higher power, in God or in a Universe of blessings. But first and foremost believe in YOU! In Peace& Love.

Intutive Consultant, Author & Medium Beth Lynch

Join Beth for an...

“Evening of Spirits, Messages & Love” Sunday, September 22nd @4pm Academy Square, Seneca Falls, NY Doors Open at 3:30pm Adanced Ticket Purchase $35/$40 At Door

{ FEMALE ENTREPRENEURS }

LIZA & THALIA

BY LIZA PABON I PHOTOS BY STRATAGEM

2 SISTERS. 2 D I F F E R E N T BUSINESSES.1 H O L I S T I C APPROACH. A Holistic lifestyle is living a life in a way that is both natural to you and the world in which you live in. A holistic lifestyle benefits us physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

of functional medicine is said to be the health care of the future.

The Pabon sisters are two entrepreneurs that both believe and have integrated this Holistic approach to business.

Thalia, the older sister, focuses on CBD, or cannabidiol, which is a compound found in the cannabis plant and has proven to have many medical benefits.

Liza focuses on Aveda hair, skin, and

With so much sickness and terrible side effects to pharmaceuticals, using unnecessary chemicals in things such as hair products to foods, humans overlook the long term effects due to the fastpaced life we all live and seek what is fast and most convenient.

Rarely do we actually look to see what we are consuming or using on and in our bodies!

The term Holistic approach has evolved in the past decade as many Americans suffer from many ailments. Holistic health is health not just based on the absence of disease, but the living balance of the “whole” individual. The mind, body, spirit, and emotions are integrated and inseparable. Health is achieved with treating the causes of the symptoms and disease – not just alleviating, masking, or addressing the symptoms. If one part of your body is not functioning properly, all other parts may be affected. Holistic health that’s based upon the fundamentals 206

nail products that harness pure flower and plant essences, coupled with the Rituals of renewal and self - image through beauty photography.

Thalia and Liza have always had a passion for helping others; “It’s always been our natural nature!”, they both agree.

Educating and helping others have always been at the core of their family values and it’s something that they try to integrate into their personal and professional life.

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They, along with local musician, brother and DJ Julio Pabon (aka Dj Pabony), have participated and created benefits, events and various community initiatives to either help raise awareness and/or funds for families in need, food banks, and HIV/AIDS prevention.

To a lesser extreme, they have realized that not taking care of one’s self is a huge contributor to why some people end up in these unfortunate circumstances.

Having faced much environmental, educational and financial adversities growing in their adolescent years t h e m s e l ve s t h e y learned a valuable lesson. One must first focus inward to effectively influence and eventually affect the external world and the challenges that await us.

That lesson is something they both feel is missing in this day in age, especially when you take into consideration the excessive amount of distractions, lack of time and unrealistic standards that people are being strategically target marketed on the web and via, what seems to be, ever-changing social norms.

Thalia having a degree and professional background in Human Services and Liza in Media Arts and Communication are familiar with these very real pressures and are partially what ignites their passion to help others bring back their focus to nurturing themselves properly and

{ FEMALE ENTREPRENEURS } “Having faced much environmental, educational and financial adversities growing in their adolescent years themselves they learned a valuable lesson. One must first focus inward to effectively influence and eventually affect the external world and the challenges that await us.�

“A Holistic lifestyle is living a life in a way that is both natural to you and the world in which you live in.

A holistic lifestyle benefits us physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.�

empowering their guest to listen to their bodies, souls and minds through healthy daily regimens and arming you with knowledge that can help you get back to being you.

Thalia along with her brother Julio Pabon are the owners of Your CBD Store in Irondequoit, NY and are a dedicated CBD store selling full spectrum industrial grade hemp products that are regulated by the USDA, centered in a professional and welcoming location.

Thalia emphasizes, “We are not a vape shop we are a learning environment where customers can try products and leave knowing what is in our products and its benefits.” she further explains, “The response has been overwhelming since our grand opening… we are just happy to be able to help people looking for alternatives to prescription drugs… and invite you to come to learn what CBD can do for you. You’d be surprised 210

at the success others have had with their own health and their pets too, from minor rashes to more severe diseases and infections.”

Liza owner of Stratagem - The only Concept Aveda Salon and Beauty Photography Studio in NY, and her team of 7 creative artists are dedicated to bringing their mission to life. Which is not to represent the outward appearance of things but their inward significance.

Simply put, they are passionate about helping you reconnect with yourself through the power of touch, kindness, and creativity. Liza explains, “ We aren’t your typical holistic salon or photography studio. We really care and are passionate about what we do. Through our list of services, we hope to help you reconnect to yourself and give you the balance and freedom of self-expression. We offer hair coloring, special occasion styling, makeup, nail, feet, waxing and facial

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spa services and of course personalized professional photography. A true onestop and rejuvenate shop that only uses organically derived products that are good for you and our earth.

As a final thought. Remember, It’s easy to lose balance in today’s world. We know that wellness is not always about doing, but being. About letting go of your worries. We want to give you extra care to help you reset your senses, relieve stress, feel soothed, relief and refreshed on an emotional and physical level. We call these acts of care, and our businesses both offer them freely, it’s our treat to you. So stop in anytime and feel the care. Sincerely, the Pabon sisters.

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“The Pabon sisters are two entrepreneurs that both believe and have integrated this Holistic approach to business.�

{ FEMALE ENTREPRENEURS } “Remember, It’s easy to lose balance in today’s world. We know that wellness is not always about doing, but being. About letting go of your worries.”

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{ SPECIAL FEATURE }

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{ SENIOR LIVING }

LOW IMPACT EXERCISES FOR SENIORS

BY EPISCOPAL SENIORLIFE COMMUNITIES

With the nice weather in high gear, it’s the perfect time to work some exercise into your daily routine. There are numerous benefits of physical activity for seniors, including weight management, lowered stress and anxiety, and a reduced risk of healthrelated problems like stroke and diabetes as well as falls.

Physical fitness does not necessarily mean strenuous, highimpact exercises and workouts.

Fo r s e n i o r s with flexibility or mobility restraints, some sports and other activities may be difficult or challenging to perform. The good news is that even lowimpact exercises like the ones we’ll explore in this article can go a long way in promoting physical health and a healthier lifestyle. Try these exercises to get moving this summer!

The Best Low-Impact Exercises for Seniors 1. STRETCHING Ask any fitness trainer, and they’ll tell you how important it is to

stretch before a workout to prevent possible injury. But, did you know that stretching itself can also be an effective low-impact workout?

Stretching out your muscles helps with joint flexibility and can help prevent or ease stiffness, especially from arthritis. Stretching can also help with balance and stability. Try

stretching or some form of flexibility exercise for at least 10 minutes twice a week for a lasting impact.

2. YOGA Practicing yoga is a good low-impact exercise for seniors for many reasons.

Yoga can improve bone density, help you develop a strong sense of balance

and improve your muscle endurance.

Yoga also helps build core strength and range of motion. All of these benefits can help seniors reduce the risk of injury from falling or tripping while moving about. In addition, yoga helps reduce anxiety and stress, making it an impactful exercise for your mental health as well.

3. SWIMMING Swimming poses little risk of injury and offers numerous health benefits for seniors, including heart health, joint flexibility, muscle strength and stress reduction. Some senior living communities offer aquatic aerobic exercises for personal guidance to help you get the most out of this fun, low-impact exercise.

As with any new activity or lifestyle change, be sure to consult with your healthcare provider or a professional fitness trainer to determine which exercise program is best for you.

HEALTH AND WELLNESS OPPORTUNITIES AT EPISCOPAL SENIORLIFE COMMUNITIES

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{ SENIOR LIVING } “There are numerous benefits of physical activity for seniors, including weight management, lowered stress and anxiety, and a reduced risk of health-related problems like stroke and diabetes as well as falls.”

Episcopal SeniorLife Communities introduced Neighborhood Programs for seniors in 2012, and is now six programs strong. Each program is open to all seniors who live in the community, not just ESLC residents. These programs are part of a commitment to serve seniors wherever they live in Monroe County, and promote health and wellness 218

through a variety of low-impact fitness classes, nutrition education, strength training, informative presentations and other senior activities. The programs bring seniors into a social network and help to improve their strength, endurance and balance—all while making life more fun and active.

More information and monthly

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schedules are available online at www.EpiscopalSeniorLife.org or by calling 585.546.8400. Take a look at the latest program schedules and join us today!

i’m staying

active.

you? how about

Wellness is a lifelong pursuit. And it can determine where – and how – we spend our senior years. So it’s important that as older adults we continue to exercise, eat right, and keep our minds and spirits engaged. Episcopal SeniorLife Communities provides opportunities for each through their Neighborhood Programs.

585.546.8400 EpiscopalSeniorLife.org

For more information, contact Susan Wylie at 585.546.8400 x3553 or swylie@EpiscopalSeniorLife.org

Program offerings: • Aquatics • Senior yoga • Tai Chi • Walking club • Cooking demonstrations • Art/music classes • Healthy seasonal lunches • Educational programs • Much more!

2019

DARIN S. FASS, CLU, CLF MANAGING PARTNER NEW YORK LIFE INS. CO. FINGER LAKE G.O. 375 WOODCLIFF DR., FAIRPORT NEW YORK 14450 PHONE: 585 248-6710

{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE }

AURORA HOUSE

BY KATHY GLEASON

Many milestones are encountered throughout our lives, some celebratory and some sorrowful. One of the most challenging milestones is that of dealing with a terminal illness. The tasks of caregiving often fall to spouse or child, a role that is distressing, exhausting and overwhelming. At some point, journey’s end approaches. The Medical Team or the patient determines that further treatments may not prove effective, or the treatments themselves present potential adverse outcomes that will cause further decline for the patient. The word ‘Hospice’ is uttered and time stands still.

When a patient is placed on Hospice, treatments and medications geared toward improvement or healing are set aside. Palliative care becomes the focus, pain relief, lessening anxiety, aiding breathing – things to bring comfort as the patient nears end of life.

Caregivers and loved ones face decisions on how to manage these tasks, where the patient should be and who will take responsibility for the care of the patient. The burden of these decisions may cause rifts, frustration, guilt and a myriad of emotions for all.

We are extremely fortunate in our region to have the resource of Comfort Care Homes.

Despite the impact these homes have had on families and friends of the terminally ill, they remain almost a secret. The mission of these homes is to provide care for the terminally ill and provide support for family and friends in a home environment. Most are two-bedroom homes and are staffed with few paid employees. Direct care is provided by volunteers under the supervision of a nurse. The overall medical care is the responsibility of the Licensed Homecare 222

Agency Hospice Team.

agencies to bring her dream to reality.

The little-known fact about Comfort Care Homes? They provide this care without requiring payment and are unable to seek reimbursement from insurance. They support their mission solely from donations, gifts, endowments and the fundraising events they host. In our current world of Healthcare, Comfort Care Homes are incredible gifts to our communities.

The property was a gift of the Ogden Presbyterian Church. This generous donation, in conjunction with unfailing support from the community led the way to the construction of Aurora House. The time, talents, donations, and financial contributions of hundreds allowed the doors to open to the first resident on September 22, 2010.

Built by the community, for the community, Aurora House has served over 180 families since that time.

Located in Spencerport, Aurora House was

Aurora House is a two-bed comfort care home for the dying.

In collaboration with a Home Care Hospice Agency and a resident’s physician, Aurora House volunteer caregivers and staff offer day to day care that is rooted in compassion, comfort, and dignity: the basis of the Hospice philosophy. The House offers residents a home-like setting in which to find peace and fulfillment. In addition, support is extended to family and friends freeing them from care giving and allowing them to simply be with their loved one.

incorporated in March 2007 as a 501(c)(3) non-profit charitable organization. It was the belief of Aurora House founder, Sandie Ville that her community was in need of a project that it could embrace as its own.

Having experienced the compassionate generosity of volunteers at another comfort home in the area, Sandie felt led first to volunteer in a caregiver role, but then to bring the gift of a comfort care home to the communities at the western edge of Monroe County. She stepped outside her comfort zone and began talking to friends, neighbors, community leaders, and hospice

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All services of Aurora House are offered free of charge through the generosity and kindness of community, friends, and neighbors from donations, memorials, grants, and fundraisers.

Volunteers are the heart of the home and give of themselves in many ways: care to residents, cleaning, gardening, event planning, fundraising, cooking meals, and more.

Aurora House is a “work of the heart,” says Marj Smith, Director. “People in our community are the reason Aurora exists, thrives, and serves those in need. Our reputation of compassionate, excellent care is widely known in the community

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care is widely known in the community and is the reason the community continues to support us. Our commitment to the Hospice philosophy and offering holistic care to the whole person (body/mind/spirit) at end of life is the core of our Organization.”

Volunteers are the heart of Aurora House and additional volunteers are always welcomed.

Sometimes volunteers will simply sit with a resident, offer a caring presence in the room, or play a board game with younger family members to help them pass the time.

They might help arrange for a visit from a cherished pet or help coordinate a phone call with out of town relatives who want to touch base. There is so much more to a person than just physical and medical needs at this time and Aurora House attempts to address wishes and requests of residents and families no matter what form they may take. In this way the patient can have improved quality of life at a time when it is of utmost importance.

“Volunteers give of themselves selflessly.”

Marj continues. “Whether it is coming in early. staying late for a shift, stepping up and filling open shifts or offering donations of money or gifts to help the house, they simply do what needs to be done to make 224

everything work. Staff work well together, nurses helping each other to make sure coverage is complete, and no one is getting worn out by working too much.”

How can you help Aurora House? Financial contributions of donations and support of fundraising activities, and volunteer efforts providing direct care are most common. In addition to monetary support they publish a Wish List on their website at https:// aurorahousewmc.com/wish-list/.

Occasionally an unanticipated donation is presented. Judy Mercel, Board President, recalls a particular surprise gift. “We are always grateful and sometimes surprised by the generous contributions that the community shares with Aurora House.

Sometimes these gifts end up helping in ways we could never envision or imagine until the moment is upon us. Sometimes they allow Aurora House to ‘pay it forward’ to our community, in a way completing the cycle of support and service.

“A past resident who would never have been able to afford burial expenses benefited from one such donation. Aurora House was able to ensure a dignified funeral service and burial because of a rather unusual donation of a

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grave site. A private service was held right at Aurora House where the resident spent their final days with love and dignity, and then was laid to rest with that same love and dignity, all because of a donation from our supporters.”

Judy continues, “Thus, we say ‘thank you’ and are always open to whatever might be offered to us, sometimes wondering how to use it, but always knowing we will be shown how to carry out the mission of Aurora through that gift. We bless the generous hearts that support our mission.”

If you or a loved one are facing this last journey in life, speak with your Medical Team and/or Social Worker. Either can help you find placement in a Comfort Care Home when it is deemed end of life is within three months or less and medical/ physical needs are able to be met by the Comfort Care Home.

Aurora House invites you to contact them with any questions. Or let them know you would like a tour of the home. You are invited to visit their website, https:// aurorahousewmc.com, and submit your contact information in the “Stay Connected” section at the bottom of the site.

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INSIDE SPECIAL MEN’S EDITION INSERT

Enjoy

-SPECIAL DWI FEATURE - VISIONARY MINDS: SEAN MCLEOD -MEN WHO INSPIRE: CHRISTOPHER LEE ROBINSON, JR

The Getaway Guy MIKE OBRIEN

TOM MALLOY

ACTOR, PRODUCER, WRITER, ENTREPRENEUR, COMEDIAN, DANCER AND PUBLIC SPEAKER

{ COVER STORY }

TOM MALLOY

BY CHERYL L. KATES I PHOTOS BY MICHAEL ZAPPIA

Rochester Woman Online is proud to feature, actor, producer, writer, entrepreneur, comedian, dancer and public speaker; Tom Malloy on our “Men’s Edition” cover. You heard the saying “Jack of all trades”, well Tom is the Tom of “all trades”. Tom started acting when he was a kid and always knew this was what he wanted to do with his life. His acting career started out as Captain Hook in a 4th grade play. His first adult role which he considered as a major role achievement was co-starring with Elisabeth Moss (The Handmaid’s Tale) in The Attic.

Tom shares with us, “I love all aspects of what I do, and I keep grinding away, looking to achieve more. I will say, when I danced with Betty White in “Love-NDancing” it was pretty great! She’s a legend! Learning to live with rejection, which you face daily in this business, is the most challenging. I not only act, I write, produce and I sell movies. At times, I must be creative and change my approaches.

Everything’s a process. There are a bunch of irons in the fire. It’s all about 234

communication with yourself. I said to myself over-and over again, I was going to be an actor and I was going to be in the movie business. I’ve now produced 15 films, starred in a bunch of films, written about 30 screenplays (out of those I’d say 24 were optioned, sold or made into films) and cofounded a film sales company (Glass House Distribution). I haven’t done

any job outside the film business in close to twenty years.

The “crack high” of the movie business is being on set, shooting a film. There’s just an energy and excitement, that is indescribable. As for my least favorite part, I’d say the days where I don’t have anything going on. I notoriously work all the time (even when I’m out to play)

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I realized long ago the only time I’m stressed is when I am bored. I try to be grateful of everything I have, the good and the bad. The good is good.

The bad is a way to learn and improve.

So, I wouldn’t change a thing”.

Tom’s latest film, #Screamers debuted in theaters in April 2018. The movie, a horror film, is about two guys who have built a business on the internet which offers scary videos to consumers. The storyline grabs you when the business men start finding out about the people that are submitting the videos. We definitely don’t want to ruin it for you so check it out!

Tom is also the father of two children. His daughter Ella is 14 and his son Tyler is 12. Tom is grateful for his children. He lives a double life residing in Rochester but travelling frequently to LA. His record of travelling back and forth is 16 times in a year. Currently, Tom’s company has many films in development. He strives to become an A-list star and to be involved in producing huge films.

{ COVER STORY } You heard the saying “Jack of all trades”, well Tom is the Tom of “all trades”.

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“Everything’s a process. There are a bunch of irons in the fire. It’s all about communication with yourself. I said to myself over-and over again, I was going to be an actor and I was going to be in the movie business.”

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{ COVER STORY } “The “crack high” of the movie business is being on set, shooting a film. There’s just an energy and excitement, that is indescribable.”

At the end of the day, Tom enjoys being a father. The hardest part about his career is having to travel and be separated from his children. This motivated him to do some work locally in Rochester (4 films and a TV show). He spends all of his time when he is here with Ella and Tyler.

He explains saying, “When I fly to LA or anywhere else (last year I was in Cannes, South Korea and Italy) I miss them. Even though I love what I do, and I love to fly (always leads

to new adventures) it’s always tough to be away”.

SIDE BAR To m Ma l l oy h a s s t a r re d i n #Screamers(producer), Trauma Therapy, Shattered(producer), Hero of the Underworld (3 best actor awards) (producer), Fair Haven (producer), Ashley(producer), LoveN-Dancing(producer/writer), The Alphabet Killer(producer/writer), and The Attic (producer/writer). He currently is starring in the Amazon

Improv Comedy series Midtown which premiered at the LA Comedy Festival. He graduated from the prestigious Improv Olympic Training Center in LA. He is also a stand-up comedian who appeared at Caroline’s Comedy Club, The Broadway Comedy Club in NYC and The Funny Bone in Syracuse.

Additionally, he is a highly experienced ballroom dancer, who trained under 12-time Swing Dance World Champion Robert Royston. Previously

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{ SHIFT+CONTROL } “Learning to live with rejection, which you face daily in this business, is the most challenging. I not only act, I write, produce and I sell movies. At times, I must be creative and change my approaches.�

for ten years, he was a nationallyknown comedy motivational speaker for adults and kids.

To m p r o d u c e d T h e Wo r l d Championship of Country Dance (first country dance competition on TV), and the comedy The Fuzz (from the director of the pilot episode of 240

Seinfeld). His company is successful as he has the unique talent of being able to write the projects and secure the funding. He is the author of the best-selling book Bankroll (financing independent films) and with Jason Brubaker, the online film training platform www.filmmakingstuffhq. com. He also is the President and co-

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founder of Glass House Distribution (independent distribution company/ representing films and documentaries).

{ SHIFT+CONTROL }

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“Tom started acti kid and always kne wanted to do with career started out as 4th gra

ing when he was a ew this was what he h his life. His acting s Captain Hook in a ade play.�

{ THE GETAWAY GUY }

THE GETAWAY GUY!

BY MIKE OBRIAN

During my 23 years of traveling around New York State with a TV camera, I developed a huge appreciation for what our state has to offer for great day-trip Getaways. With travel season now upon us, I’d like to share a few of my favorites for this time of year !

GO TO THE LIGHT!

https://parks.ny.gov/parks/143/details. aspx

base of the gorge! You’ll experience the roar and up-close power of the mighty Niagara as you stroll along the boardwalk complete with viewing platforms.

Getting There: Cross the Rainbow Bridge and head north along River Road, Niagara Parkway.

30 Mile Point Lighthouse is a gem found along the Seaway Trail by taking one of my favorite drives, the Lake Ontario State Parkway! Continue west to route 18, past apple orchards and fruit stands and eventually to Golden Hill State Park on Lower Lake Road in Barker, New York, Niagara County.

While you’re there, you’ve got to ride the Whirlpool Aero Car... another classic just up the road!

Man-made back in 1875, this family fun and affordable lighthouse Getaway is a great find an hour and a half out of Rochester. Guided tours are only $1 for adults, 50 cents for kids and under 5 are free. There is a $6 car entrance fee to the park. Inside the historical lighthouse, you’ll see the1st floor museum where the lighthouse keeper and his family lived long ago. On the 2nd floor a 3-bedroom cottage that you can rent out to spend the night!

https://www.niagaraparks. com/visit/attractions/ white-water-walk/

And then...everyones favorite part....

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up the old winding staircase..... up inside the tower to the top of the lighthouse! What a view!!! This Getaway is a great stop on your way to Niagara Falls or Olcott Beach Carousel Park.

Tr a v e l Ti p : B o t h Getaways are on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls, so bring your passport or enhanced driver’s license plus birth certificate for the kids.

HIGHER THAN NIAGARA FALLS?

WALK ON THE WILD SIDE! That’s exactly what White Water Walk is all about at this Niagara Falls classic!

Expect an up-close experience of the Niagara River’s Class 6 white-water rapids after your elevator ride to the

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Yes! One of my absolute favorite waterfall Getaways, Taughannock Falls. She drops 215 feet to the gorge below! This natural gem in Trumansburgh, N.Y. is best in Spring when the falling water is at its max. There are 2 ways to witness this wonder of the Finger Lakes.

Look for the Falls Overlook sign as you travel down scenic route 89

{ THE GETAWAY GUY } “During my 23 years of traveling around New York State with a TV camera, I developed a huge appreciation for what our state has to offer for great day-trip Getaways. With travel season now upon us, I’d like to share a few of my favorites for this time of year !”

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{ THE { ONE GETAWAY HIP CHIC GUY } } “Be sure to take home my favorite TV Getaways with both Volume I and Volume II Getaway Guy Travel Books!”

along Cayuga Lake’s west side. This is a free way to see the falls from a spectacular vantage point! Further on down Route 89 is the State Park Entrance with a $8 park entrance fee.

Travel Tip: New York State residents 62 or older get free state park vehicle 246

entry on non-holiday weekdays! https://parks.ny.gov/parks/62/details.aspx Be sure to take home my favorite TV Getaways with both Volume I and Volume II Getaway Guy Travel

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Books! at www.TheGetawayGuy.com Happy Travels!

Italian Restaurant ¡ Live M

137 W Commercia East Rochester, New Y (585) 385-8 www.lemoncell

Music Venue · Cocktail Bar

al St (9.28 mi) York 14445-2151 8565 lo137.com

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{ MEN WHO INSPIRE }

CHARLES LEE ROBINSON, JR

BY JOANN WALTON

Winter is about 7 months away. I’ve seen alot of women on social media sites, during that time, looking for a good book to read! Well, I have an answer! I can give you the name of an author, who has many good books from novels, poems to relational. He has written over 70 published books.

His name is Charles Lee Robinson Jr.

disappointments, hard times and most of all his love for God! Where does he come up with the idea’s for his novels? His books are based on his own life’s experiences and all the things he’s had to face, good, bad and ugly.

His goal is to help other people, by sharing his own life’s lessons and how

M r. R o b i n s o n is a native from Rochester,NY. He first started writing while in the third grade. It was his third grade teacher who encouraged him. His biggest inspiration was his mother and best friend, Elaine Denise Robinson.

Growing up in Rochester wasn’t always easy. He had to make some life choices of either growing up in the streets or finishing high school and making a better life for himself. He talks about this in his book, ‘KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND KNOW YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE.’ His unique way of writing comes from his ups and downs with relationships, life’s heartaches, pains,

he overcame them. I have read many of his books including his book of poetry, ‘THE ANOINTED PEN’, that he wrote with his grandmother.

It’s a compilation of Christian poetry that touches the heart.

When I asked him what his biggest obstacle was to get over, he told me it was his mom’s death. Being the oldest, he was very close to his mom, she was his rock and go to person in times of heartache and trouble. She was the one to help him through and give sound advice because she herself went through plenty of hardtimes too. The book, ‘BROKEN CHILD BROKEN WOMAN’, is a memoir of his mother’s life that she told just before she died.

She finished it in 2011 and died in 2012. It was then that Mr. Robinson vowed he would get her book out for everyone to read and it was a promise he kept.

He published the book January 6, 2016 on his mother’s birthday.

He wasn’t stopping there. With hard work and dedication, it is now a play that has debuted in Winnfield, LA and Natchitoches, LA . Eventually, the play will be in every state. One day, it will be a movie!

I was never much of a reader myself.

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{ MEN WHO INSPIRE } “His unique way of writing comes from his ups and downs with relationships, life’s heartaches, pains, disappointments, hard times and most of all his love for God! ”

(Even magazine articles have to capture my attention)! If it doesn’t capture me in the prologue or in the first five pages, it isn’t getting read. When I started reading Mr. Robinson’s books, I finished them in less than a day!

That was a big deal for me! After 252

that I was hooked!

So, if you’re looking for a good book to read, go to amazon.com and look up Charles Lee Robinson Jr. He has books on Kindle and books on Kindle Unlimited. They are great reads and

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you can follow him on Instagram and Twitter!

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{ SPECIAL FEATURE }

3 THINGS TO REMEMBER

BY THOMAS CORLETTA, ATTORNEY AT LAW

If You Are Stopped For DWI. Under New York law, the stop of a moving motor vehicle is a seizure subject to Constitutional limitations.

According to People v. Robinson, a 2001 Court of Appeals decision in which the undersigned was attorney, police can stop your vehicle if there is probable cause to believe you committed any traffic violation, no matter how minor.

Moreover, even if police are mistaken as to the law you have violated, if their mistake is objectively reasonable, the stop remains valid.

Therefore, police have wide latitude to stop a vehicle for traffic violations.

Such stops often l e a d t o DW I arrests.

Further, 38 states also conduct sobriety checkpoints to stop vehicles in an attempt to promote highway safety. Sobriety checkpoints however, since they are suspicionless stops, are subject to special rules to avoid arbitrary police intrusions.

Before being stopped by police, you should be aware of your rights.

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DO NOT ANSWER QUESTIONS If the officer believes you are operating while under the influence of drugs or alcohol, they will ask numerous questions about where you’ve been and if you’ve been drinking. You do not have to answer these questions.

You should be polite and remain calm.

This will probably occur while you are still in your car. At that point, there is

no requirement the officer “read you your rights”, as many believe.

Police may ask if you have consumed alcohol or drugs prior to driving. They may also ask where you are coming from and where you are going. You are not legally obligated to answer.

Politely tell the officer you will not answer any questions without an

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attorney present. Ask to contact an attorney. Note the time you make this request. Ask to speak to the attorney privately. If you are able to reach an attorney, be careful what you say if the officer remains present or nearby.

They are listening. The officer must allow you to contact an attorney for advice. The officer must respect your right to remain silent.

F I E L D SOBRIETY TESTS If the officer believes you are intoxicated, they will ask you to take field sobriety tests. You are not required to take them. These tests are subjectively based, and designed to set you up for failure. There are no witnesses other than you and the officer.

Videotaping can occur, but is not required. The officer “scores” the tests.

Refusing to take field sobriety tests carries no license sanction, but can be used against you at trial as so-called “consciousness of guilt”.

In New York, you are required to take a breath or blood test. New York’s “implied consent” law states you must

{ SPECIAL FEATURE } “Before being stopped by police, you should be aware of your rights.“

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{ SPECIAL FEATURE }

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{ SPECIAL FEATURE }

“Without probable cause, consent, or plain view, the officer must get a search warrant. If they don’t, you can move to suppress any evidence seized.”

submit to a chemical test if a police officer has reasonable cause to believe you are operating while intoxicated or under the influence of drugs. Chemical tests testing blood, breath, urine, or saliva are used. Refusal to submit can result in a separate license revocation.

Understand Probable Cause & Search and Seizure Police may not perform a physical search of you, your passengers, or your vehicle without probable cause to believe they will find evidence related

to a crime. Police however, may search your person and the immediate area after a valid arrest.

or plain view, the officer must get a search warrant. If they don’t, you can move to suppress any evidence seized.

If the officer sees drugs, alcohol, or related paraphernalia in plain view during a valid traffic stop, they can search your vehicle, and/or seize the contraband. Further, if the stop is valid and you consent to a search, the search is valid. You should not consent.

For legal advice, contact Thomas A Corletta, Attorney at Law. Mr. Corletta has nearly 40 years experience defending those accused of alcoholrelated offenses. He has argued DWI cases at every level of the Court system, including the State’s highest Court. He can be contacted at 585-546-5072 or at Corletta@eznet.net, as well as on Facebook and Twitter.

Without probable cause, consent,

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We can handle all your need’s, Wedding’s, Birthday’s, Corporate Event’s, Fundraiser’s, School Event’s.

We also offer Uplighting, and Monogram’s.

Contact: Mike Gray @ 585-­‐629-­‐2131

{ VISIONARY MINDS }

SEAN MCLEOD

BY TAMARA REESE

World class musicians join Harriet Tubman Freedom Music Festival Founder Sean McLeod on July 13th 2019 at the Equal Rights Heritage Center for the annual historical event which is now in it’s fourth year. It celebrates what it means to be free.

The Harriet Tubman Freedom Music Festival is poised to be the next Global Citizens Festival.

Created by McLeod who is a great deal of things that makes him awesome such as an father, creator, executive producer, director, composer, choreographer, award winning business man, mentor, consultant, artistic ambassador and more. As if that isn’t enough to define his achievements and success. What drove me to write this article of my fellow Media Unit Alum who learned from one of the same mentors as me Walt Shepperd is that Sean McLeod being an accomplished African American male providing a platform to uphold the iconic legacy of one of the most powerful woman figures in American history Harriet Tubman.

He is honoring Harriet Tubman through music. The soundtrack that he composed in her memory will be the foundation of The Harriet Tubman Freedom Music Festival. McLeod always had family and artistic ties to the Tubman legacy. As a youth he and his father would visit the Harriet Tubman home in Auburn, which gave him a early appreciation of what she 260

has meant to the African American and overall American culture. Also producing highly great reviewed stage performances about her life. While Interviewing Sean he revealed that the McLeod family were the last to live in the Harriet Tubman home in the 1920’s. The more we spoke about his family and artistic bonds with Harriet Tubman and the Harriet Tubman home it became more clear it was destiny for Sean to create such a powerful event.

When asked what was some feedback

he has gotten over the years from people who attend the Harriet Tubman Freedom Music Festival Sean stated people give overwhelmingly great feedback such as they want to come back, or sponsor or perform and spread the word. Sean McLeod is the leader of a movement that is showcases diversity and women empowerment. He is a champion of the underserved as Harriet Tubman was.

Sean realizes as Tubman did that we all just want to be free. Performances, Award

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ceremonies, food, vendors, fun, networking will all take part of this amazing Festival.

Overall the feeling of freedom, unity , and acknowledgement to the history and rebrand of Harriet Tubman who is a global icon will have anyone who attends feeling they went to an festival that had a purpose.

McLeod was the first man I ever asked what does women empowerment mean to him.

His answer was remarkable deep and needed.

Sean explained “ women empowerment is never having to say women empowerment.

W o m e n Empowerment would be when women are seen as equal with failures and success, do the work and ensure the outcome”.

Some advice Sean has for anyone wanting to create an festival in the honor of an iconic pubic figure is to honor them by being selfless.

Remember it’s by you, but not about you. This Festival he created is all about Harriet Tu b m a n a n d celebrating freedom . Sean makes that very clear as he does in a song he wrote in her memory. Some lyrics state “ Come on Harriet , hurry up! You about to change the world”. That she did and Sean is changing the world too!

For more info on the Harriet Tubman Freedom Music Festival please visit harriettubmanmusicfestival.com

{ VISIONARY MINDS } “Sean McLeod being an accomplished African American male providing a platform to uphold the iconic legacy of one of the most powerful woman figures in American history, Harriet Tubman.”

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{ WORD OF MOUTH }

GOOD ORAL HYGIENE

BY DR. SAM KHALIL I PHOTOS BY CHRIS CONLON

Ensuring good oral hygiene could help to prevent stroke. This was what scientists proposed after finding DNA traces of oral bacteria in samples of blood clots that had caused strokes.

took from the same patients.

streptococci in acute ischemic stroke.

The team reports the findings in a recent Journal of the American Heart Associationstudy.

New research suggests that good oral hygiene may protect against stroke.

Researchers from Tampere University in Finland analyzed clot samples from 75 people who received emergency treatment for ischemic stroke when they attended Tampere University Hospital’s Acute Stroke Unit.

Larger picture implicates bacteria in clots The study forms part of a large investigation that Tampere University has been conducting for around 10 years on the role of bacteria in cardiovascular diseases.

A stroke is when the brain suddenly experiences a disruption to its blood supply. This starves cells of essential oxygen and nutrients and can result in tissue damage and loss of function in the brain.

According to figures from the World Stroke Organization, around 1 in 6 people worldwide will likely experience a stroke in their lifetime.

The patients had undergone thrombectomies.

These procedures remove blood clots by means of catheters conducted through arteries.

The catheters can deploy stent retrievers and aspirators to reduce or remove the clot.

When they analyzed blood clots sampled in this way, the researchers found that 79% of them bore DNA from common oral bacteria. Most of the bacteria were of the Streptococcus mitis type, which belong to a group that scientists call viridans streptococci.

The levels of the oral bacteria were much higher in the blood clot samples than they were in other samples that surgeons 262

The most common type of stroke is an ischemic stroke, which occurs when a blood clot reduces the blood supply in an artery that feeds the brain.

This investigation has already found that blood clots that have caused heart attacks, brain aneurysms, and thromboses in leg veins and arteries, contain oral bacteria, particularly viridans streptococci. It has also shown that these bacteria can cause infective endocarditis, a type of heart infection.

The researchers believe that the new study is the first to implicate viridans

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One of the leading causes of stroke is a condition called atherosclerosis in which plaques form in the walls of arteries and cause them to narrow and harden over time.

The plaques are deposits of cellular waste, fat, cholesterol, and other materials.

Depending on where the plaques form, atherosclerosis can raise the risk of heart disease, angina, carotid artery disease, and peripheral artery disease.

However, plaques can also lose bits into

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{ WORD OF MOUTH } “According to figures from the World Stroke Organization, around 1 in 6 people worldwide will likely experience a stroke in their lifetime.”

the bloodstream, or attract clots. If such an event affects an artery supplying blood to the brain, it can trigger an ischemic stroke.

Oral bacteria: Cause of stroke or ‘bystander?’

In discussing the implication of the results, the authors note that streptococci bacteria from the mouth can cause serious infection, such as of the heart valves, when they enter the circulation.

There is also evidence that bacteria can 264

activate blood platelets directly. Could this be a possible route to increasing stroke risk?

that oral bacteria are involved, it is still unclear whether they cause strokes or whether “their role is solely as bystander.”

“Activated platelets” trigger cells that promote atherosclerosis and “speed up the development of atherothrombotic lesions,” they write.

In the meantime, they suggest that: “Regular dental care should be emphasized in the primary prevention of [acute ischemic stroke].”

“Bacterial surface proteins of S. mitis,” they add, “can directly bind to various platelet receptors.”

In regard to the recent findings, the researchers note that while they show

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{ FEMALES & FINANCE }

RETIREMENT PLANNING: HOW TO GET STARTED

BY MARISSA DINELLO

Retirement is typically one of everyone’s top financial goals. It may be the furthest out, but any good financial plan starts with calculating how much money you’ll need during your retirement years. Many financial professionals believe you’ll need about 80 percent of your peak preretirement income to maintain your current lifestyle in retirement.

If your peak income is $100,000, then you may need $80,000 or more each year.

Multiply that figure by your expected years in retirement and that’s your target.

Given today’s life expectancies, you could be nearing the $1.5–$2 million range.

Don’t let those numbers scare you. Everyone is different.

ENVISION T H E RETIREMENT YOU WANT Do you want to travel? Own a second home? Leave a legacy to your family, charity or alma mater? Or maybe you just want to live a simple lifestyle with the goal being to cover your basic expenses. Now’s your time to think through the world of possibilities, 272

because the sooner you start planning —and saving —the better able you will be to reach your retirement savings goal.

late. If you are 50 or older, “catchup contributions” help pre-retirees stash even more money into their 401(k) or IRA.

TIME IS YOUR FRIEND WHEN SAVING FOR RETIREMENT Setting aside even a small amount each month can add up over time.

One effective strategy is to use traditional retirement vehicles, such

HOW SHOULD YOU ALLOCATE YOUR MONEY? How you decide to allocate the money you’ve accumulated —and the goalrelated products you choose —are probably the most critical factors when it comes to creating a retirement plan.

As mentioned, there are IRAs for retirement goals, as well as guaranteed lifetime income products, but depending on your life stage you may want to consider other solutions as well. Maybe that means permanent life insurance to help protect your family’s financial security and to use as an effective estate planning tool.

as an employer-sponsored 401(k) or Individual Retirement Account (IRA), and set up automatic contributions.

While each of these types of accounts has unique rules, all offer tax benefits that can add up over the long-term.

Even if nearing retirement, it’s not too

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DIVERSIFICATION HELPS BALANCE RISK Diversification can be summed up in one phrase: Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket. Regardless of what types of retirement solutions you choose,

“Retirement is typically one of everyone’s top financial goals. It may be the furthest out, but any good financial plan starts with calculating how much money you’ll need during your retirement years. ”

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{ FEMALES & FINANCE } “Now’s your time to think through the world of possibilities, because the sooner you start planning —and saving —the better able you will be to reach your retirement savings goal.”

don’t bet your retirement nest egg on just one. The types of products you select will vary depending on several factors, including your risk tolerance and retirement time horizon. These two factors work hand in hand.

The more years you have left until retirement, the higher your risk tolerance may be.

When it’s time to determine the products and financial strategy that’s best for you, you may want to consult with a financial professional. In the meantime, make sure you have a 274

clear vision for your goals so you’ll be prepared to plan your financial future.

For more information on this topic, be sure to sign up for: The Young Professionals’ Guide to Retirement Planning Tuesday, June 25, 2019 6:00 – 7:30 pm Complimentary food and drinks starting at 5:30 pm at Metro Cowork – 350 East Ave. Rochester NY, 14604

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This event is free, but please let us know you are coming by registering online Save Your Seat Provided by MassMutual New York State, courtesy of Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Company (MassMutual) FY1097

CRN202109-237210

An Establishment Class:

parents and money In Parents and Money, we will discuss the top money mistakes parents often make and how to avoid them. Plus, we will cover how to teach your children positive lessons about money from a young age.

Wednesday, July 31, 2019 6:00 to 7:30 pm Metro Cowork 350 East Ave Rochester NY, 14604 Reserve your seat online by following this link:

bit.ly/pmjuly31

www.TheEstablishmentNYS.com info@TheEstablishmentNYS.com | (716) 428-3475 The Establishment is a “doing business as” name for MML Investors Services, LLC when offering the classes and financial events detailed on this ad. Our financial advisors are investment advisor representatives and registered representatives of MML Investors Services, LLC and are licensed insurance agents or brokers of Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Company and/or other affiliated or unaffiliated insurance companies. Classes and financial events are general in nature, and not personalized for any attendee’s specific situation. Financial advisors will not recommend specific securities during classes or financial events. CRN202103-245713

{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE }

CELEBRATING AUTISM

BY VIALMA RAMOS

C R E A T I N G AWARENESS AND PROMOTING ACCEPTANCE April was Autism Awareness Month. During the entire month of April, we heard about autism-oriented fundraisers, autism awareness presentations, autism-friendly happenings, and special opportunities to recognize people on the autism spectrum. On April 2, the entire world recognized Autism with various activities and wearing the color blue.

Buildings, bridges, waterfalls and other landmarks were all lit up in blue to raise awareness and as a symbol of support for those living with and caring for people with Autism (the parents and others who care for or about autism). I am one of those parents who celebrated Autism Awareness Day and Awareness Month in honor of my son, Jahmiere.

Jahmiere is my youngest child who is on the spectrum. He was born weighing 4lbs and 2oz after 36 weeks of gestation.

He suffered trauma in utero and at birth. He required emergency surgery at one day old and spent a week in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. He was discharged from the hospital with a long list of referrals to follow up with at home. By the age of 6 months old, I started noticing that he was developmentally delayed because he was not hitting any of the developmental milestones.

I brought it to the pediatrician’s attention who encouraged me to be patient. I was reminded that he was a preemie and was expected to have some delays. I was told to keep an eye on him. If there wasn’t any improvement by his 12 month check-up, they would revisit this concern.

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I kept a close eye on him and patiently awaited his first birthday. At his 1 year well child visit, I reminded the pediatrician of my concerns and she evaluated him on her own. When she did not see any progression of any skills, she made the recommendation for Early Intervention to assess and address any areas of concern. Among the many issues, my son had poor muscle tone in his torso. He did not crawl, sit up, hold his bottle or even roll over. At a year old, he was carried everywhere and he just lay wherever he was at.

He had poor eye hand coordination. He could not bring things up to his mouth, as children his age would normally do. He did not make eye contact when spoken to or look around when his name was called.

He was an overall healthy and happy baby but his severe delays made him difficult to care for when there wasn’t any progression in skills noted.

He was evaluated by the EI team and they agreed that he was severely delayed. He began to receive services such as Special Education, Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy.

His Special Ed teacher suggested that he may

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be a Failure to Thrive baby. She believed that he had a severe disconnect in his brain where the left side did not communicate with the other side of his brain. She stated that in her professional opinion, this was the best that he will ever get. I quickly fired her because she did not have any high expectation for my son. If she didn’t, she would not push him to learn anything. We got a new teacher who worked with him for the next 2 years.

Jahmiere started walking at about 15 months and he continued to receive the Early Intervention Services.

At 3, he still wasn’t speaking.

He communicated primarily through grunts or pointing at objects that he wanted. He started receiving Speech therapy as well where he learned Sign Language until his own speech came in. At age 3, he aged out of Early Intervention.

He was diagnosed with Asperger’s Disorder and Attention Deficit with Hyperactivity at the age of 4. Having been diagnosed as a Preschooler with Disabilities, the Rochester City School District continued to provide his services through the age of 5.

When he turned 5 and entered Kindergarten in a regular education class, he had made so much progress. His services were decreased and now he only receives quarterly consultations from the providers.

The RCSD Autism Team also continues to provide him support.

Jahmiere is still in a regular education 4th grade classroom. He is in a Dual Language program where he learns Spanish as a second language. He is at the top of his class and excels in all of his subjects. Jahmiere is an active young man and is involved in many extra-curricular activities. He enjoys watching Anime cartoons and playing video games.

{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE } “I am one of those parents who celebrated Autism Awareness Day and Awareness Month in honor of my son, Jahmiere.”

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He is an advanced purple belt in Taekwondo and he has taken 2 years of piano lessons.

He recently joined the Special Olympics Basketball team where he played in his first Regional Tournament. He has also taken an interest in boxing. He has high aspirations for his future and I will help him be all that he can be!

Early detection and intervention were critical in helping my son reach his fullest potential. Studies show that about half of the children with autism who are in an Early Intervention programs from age 0-5 can gain enough skills to be mainstreamed for a regular education kindergarten class.

Every child is different and they develop at his or her own pace. However, there are specific developmental milestones that all children should be reaching by specific ages. If your child is not meeting milestones or you are concerned about your child’s development, don’t hesitate to bring your concerns to your pediatrician. If they don’t feel that it is of any concern to them, don’t accept their word as gospel. Document your concerns and note any progress or lack thereof to revisit the issue at the next visit with the pediatrician. You are the expert on your child and you know best!

Early signs of autism can often be detected in infants as young as 6-18 months. For 278

example, if a baby fixates on objects or does not respond to people, he or she may be exhibiting early signs of an autism spectrum disorder. Older babies and toddlers may fail to respond to their names, avoid eye contact or engage in repetitive movements such as rocking or arm flapping. They may play with toys in unusual ways, like lining them up or focusing on parts of toys rather than the whole. Parents who notice these signs or who are concerned that their child is not meeting developmental milestones should contact their pediatrician to request a developmental screening.

Currently, The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends routine screening of all infants for autism as part of 18-month and 24-month well-baby examinations.

Familiarize yourself and learn more about the early warning signs of autism including milestones for development up to age 5 and what to do if you are concerned.

Although autism is commonly diagnosed in children, it is possible that an ASD does not go diagnosed until adolescence or adulthood. In this population, autism manifests itself as difficulties in socialization, atypical communication, and restricted mental flexibility. Just like for children, certain red flags can suggest that an adult may have autism. These signs can appear

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at any stage of adulthood, be it age 19 or age 60. Just as getting a diagnosis at a young age opens the door to therapies and medications that can prove to be effective, an adult diagnosis can help improve the quality of life of higher-functioning autistic adults.

If you suspect that you or someone you know has autism, look out for these traits and contact your doctor for more information: • Anxiety in social situations • Trouble empathizing • Difficulty understanding body language, gestures, facial expressions, social innuendos • Trouble forming and maintaining relationships • Difficulty making conversation (particularly chatting, making small talk) • Trouble understanding or practicing socially appropriate behaviors • Trouble understanding double meanings • Anxiety in group settings • Tendency to interpret information too literally • Difficulty making eye contact • Restricted or unique interests (such as obsessions with dictionaries or encyclopedia facts) • Obsession with rigid routines and sameness • Trouble making plans for the future Ask your provider for a list of local resources for additional help or information.

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{ THE LUPUS CHICK }

6 LUPUS SYMPTOMS

BY LC

AN EDUCATION IN STATS AND PHOTOS No, you won’t catch lupus by sharing a drink…

The lupus “butterfly” rash begins at the bridge of the nose and spreads across the cheeks.

LupusChick.com/Michelle Smith, intern.

Imagine struggling with an incurable disease yet few people know what it is or believe you are actually sick. This is a reality for 5 million men and women across the globe that are living with lupus, a chronic, inflammatory autoimmune disease.

that lupus was, in fact, a disease. · Many people were concerned lupus was contagious, especially upon learning it is classified as an autoimmune disease; studies cite a misguided correlation of lupus to HIV or AIDs, as they all fall under diseases of the immune system. In fact, one survey shared 22% of people interviewed were “uncomfortable sharing food” with someone living with lupus, believing the disease was infectious (it is not). (This was particularly frustrating for me…an Italian who loves to cook and share her food!)

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If someone you love has lupus, or if you are being tested for the disease, here are six common symptoms to be aware of: Swelling and pain in the joints and muscles are common occurrence for someone with lupus.

Joint and Muscle Pain, Swelling, and Inflammation Joint and muscle involvement are common with lupus and it is estimated that as many as 50% of people with lupus mention joint and/or muscle pain or swelling as one of the initial symptoms they experienced. Some people deal with this symptom on a daily basis and the severity varies depending on the individual.

Recent surveys show 73% of young people have never heard of the disease or know little about it. In addition to the ignorance that surrounds lupus, it seems a substantial portion of those who are familiar with it are grossly misinformed.

A 2016 study by LupusUK highlighted that almost 40% of people surveyed felt “less than comfortable” shaking hands with or sitting next to someone with lupus (for fear of contagion).

It is statistics and misconceptions such as these that fuel my passion to continue my advocacy work in the area of lupus. When I started a nonprofit 10 years ago, my mission was to educate others about the disease and how it can infiltrate into all areas of one’s life. I was inspired to start LupusChick after noticed alarming trends firsthand when it came to awareness, including: ‘ · The majority of people I spoke to were not familiar with the disease or did not know

better support someone’s plan of care, and is key in helping others who are experiencing symptoms advocate for themselves when seeking an accurate diagnosis.

· Symptoms of the disease were also grossly misinterpreted, leading to long wait times in achieving an accurate diagnosis (currently estimated at six years), and a downplay in the severity of symptoms by medical personnel, friends, and family.

Because daily symptoms have a direct effect on a lupus patient’s physical and mental health, proper education regarding the most common symptoms is crucial. Education helps friends, family members, and doctors

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JUNE/HEALTH & WELLNESS EDITION 2019

It is important to note that as many as 50% of people notice an increase in joint and muscle pain or swelling when they are experiencing a lupus flare (a time of increased disease activity).

Symptoms reported include joint pain, stiffness, tenderness, warmth around the joints, muscle aches, and muscle weakness.

The lupus “butterfly” rash begins at the bridge of the nose and spreads across the cheeks.

Perhaps one of the most telltale signs of lupus is the butterfly-shaped rash that spreads from the bridge of the nose and across the cheeks. This red rash can be flat

{ THE LUPUS CHICK } “I was inspired to start LupusChick after noticed alarming trends firsthand when it came to awareness.”

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{ THE LUPUS CHICK } “It isn’t uncommon to experience an increase in brain fog during a flare-up or period of stress or fatigue related to the disease.”

or slightly raised and may become painful or itchy. It is estimated that around 50% of people with lupus will experience the butterfly rash, also known as the malar rash.

It is important to note that a rash can also appear on other parts of the body such as the neck, scalp, and trunk.

Brain fog can affect simple activities of daily living for someone living with lupus.

Brain Fog If you asked someone living with lupus what brain fog feels like, they may describe it as a fuzzy-headed feeling, the inability to concentrate, confusion, forgetfulness, or experiencing cognitive difficulties when performing a simple task such as writing a shopping list.

It isn’t uncommon to experience an increase in brain fog during a flare-up or period of stress or fatigue related to the disease. While the exact cause of brain fog is unknown, lupus can damage brain cells, which can lead to cognitive issues.

Debilitating fatigue is one of the most widely reported lupus symptoms.

Fatigue Fatigue is one of the most common and lifealtering symptoms experienced by someone with lupus. Studies estimate that as many as 80% of people experience fatigue as a primary symptom of the disease.

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It is often described as debilitating fatigue, or extreme whole-body tiredness, that affects mood, performing activities of daily living, work performance, relationships, and overall quality of life.

Uncomfortable and sometimes painful mouth and nose sores are a reality for people living with lupus.

Mouth and Nose Sores LupusUK estimates around 45% of

people living with lupus will experience oral and nasal sores or ulcers. These ulcers are uncomfortable, and in some cases painful, and can be exacerbated by stress, a lupus flare, or medication being used to treat lupus. According to Kaleidoscope, lupus-related mouth sores are usually red in color and are surrounded by a white halo.

Just a short time in the sun can cause fevers, rashes, fatigue, and mouth sores for someone with lupus.

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Photosensitivity Experiencing photosensitivity, sensitivity to UV rays in sunlight or indoor lights (fluorescents), is a common occurrence in those living with lupus, though the severity ranges from person to person.

A photosensitive reaction in someone with lupus may bring out the following symptoms: fever, rashes, fatigue, and joint pain, in addition to potentially setting off a lupus flare.

It is recommended that people living with lupus wear sunprotective clothing (such as Coolibar), avoid the sun between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m., and apply a minimum of 70 SPF. It is important to note that heat sensitivity can occur as well, making outdoor activities difficult for some people.

Scheduling events or activities at offpeak hours or wearing cooling vests are two ways to continue enjoying beloved activities while living with lupus.

(I’d like to thank Michelle Smith from our LupusChick Intern team for working with me in illustrating these heartfelt graphics with such accuracy.)

You can learn more about lupus by visiting me at LupusChick.com

{ SHIFT+CONTROL }

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{ HOME AFTER THE HONEYMOON }

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{ UPSTATE EATS }

ONE BITE AT A TIME

BY MARICELLE MOSMAN I PHOTOS BY BEN MILLER

Upstate Eats: Bringing you the best foods and drinks in Upstate New York, one bite at a time.

Upstate Eats| Rochester Free Radio 106.3 Thursdays from 8-9 pm FLOWER CITY FOOD TOURS I know you have heard of wine and brewery tours... have you ever been to a FOOD TOUR?! I went to my first one in May and did the Pittsford Tour and enjoyed it so much I had to do another!

Cheri Davenport established Flower City Food Tours after taking her first tour in 2016 in California.

The Food Tour allows a small walk in various parts of Rochester with some history of that part of area from a knowledgeable tour guide, with food and beverage stops along the way. There are currently three tours they host; one in Pittsford, NOTA district and Park Ave. Coming soon will be one in the East End area Downtown.

Discover hidden gems throughout the tour and taste delicious food!

The NOTA district was fun and informative! Each tour guide is

enthusiastic and knowledgeable about the places on the tour. Great to get together with friends and family, but don’t worry everyone that attends end up as family by the end of the tour! Some of the stops in the NOTA tour include: The Gate House, Salena’s Mexican Restaurant, Lento, Polizzi’s-- the Crab Risotto was out of this world!, Fiamma, Three Heads Brewing, Nox Cocktail Lounge and

Lock 32, Jembetat Cafe, The Village Coal Tower Restaurants, Eric Grill and Pittsford Farms Dairy & Bakery!

The Park Ave tour has some unique history as well. Learn more about it while eating fantastic foods from: Jines, Baker Street Bakery, F. Olivers Olive Oil, Blu Wolf Bistro, Stever’s Candy, Half Pint Pub, Magnolia’s Deli & Cafe and Marty’s Meats!

All tours are roughly 3 hours in length with slight walking to the different destinations and takes place rain or shine. Tours vary in time and are available throughout the week. The tour starts promptly so ensure to arrive 1015 min before the start time. If you have an allergy-- no fear! When you register for the tickets, you will fill out a brief description as to what your allergies are/preferences and every place is super accommodating.

Get Caked!

Want to try a different tour?

Try the one in Pittsford! Enjoy some food and drinks from: Simply Crepes-the Oatmeal Crème Brûlée was amazing!, Label 7, Dolce Cupcakery,

Along the stops you can expect to enjoy some of the following- fresh homemade pastas, juicy burgers, excellent cocktails, decadent desserts, and much more!

Group size is limited so reserve your tickets today. Make sure to come hungry because you will definitely leave full!

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{ UPSTATE EATS } “Chevre Pizza-- if you love super cheesy pizza that strings as you pull it apart... this is for you! The balsamic reduction on the pizza gave it a sweeter taste.”

To register and get tickets: https://www. flowercityfoodtours.com/ NATIVE EATERY & BAR Native Eatery & Bar is a casual upscale dining in the heart of downtown Rochester. Located on the corner of Woodbury and Clinton, it is an excellent spot to go for lunch with coworkers, or enjoy happy hour and dinner with friends and family!

Items I had on the menu: Spring Chicken which included pesto , cherry tomatoes, mushroom and spring onions. The chicken was nice and crispy on the outside and had 298

a melt in your mouth juicy interior.

Chevre Pizza-- if you love super cheesy pizza that strings as you pull it apart... this is for you! The balsamic reduction on the pizza gave it a sweeter taste.

with jalapeños and a chili salted rim.

Or ask for the Hibiscus of Life and see what smokes up! Enjoy your meal on the patio and listen to some great live music. If you have not been you should definitely check it out!

Steamed Buns-- Soy braised pork belly, hoisin sauce and pickled vegetable is an excellent choice for an appetizer, the sweetness of the sauce combined perfectly with the pork belly.

Stop on in: Native Eatery & Bar 180 South Clinton Ave Rochester, NY 14604

If drinks are what you come to Native for, their drink menu is out of this world! If you enjoy spicy libations, you have to try The Bentley. Think of a margarita that is kicked up a notch

Photographer: Arielle Ferraro

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{ WOMEN FOR WINESENSE }

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{ FREEDOM WARRIOR }

WHO IS BECKY BLOTHENBURG?

BY BECKY BLOTHENBURG I PHOTOS BY JILL BARRILE PHOTOGRAPHY

Who is Becky Blothenburg?

A small town girl with BIG dreams from Western New York! She grew up in the country on a small farm working side by side with her father and mother.

She spent countless hours learning to cook with her grandmother. She was forging a work ethic that she had yet to realize would lead her to success in life. Anyone who knows Becky knows her as the most positive, loving, helpful person. Becky was introduced to Network Marketing by a high school friend at the age of 18. She had a deep sense that this was the gateway to freedom.

She dabbled for a short time and after graduating she left home to chase her dream of becoming a Chef. Becky attended The Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park NY. This career led her to Nashville where she worked in an upscale jazz bar frequented by many celebrities. After a few years in the restaurant industry she shifted her career to Retail Management. At the age of 21 she became a Store Manager for Gap Inc. She spent the next 7 years working as a Store Manager, traveling, teaching & training management staff of effective system management.

Becky continued to chase her dreams in corporate of becoming a District Manager which she accomplished with Fashion Bug. She spent the

next 3 years as a General Manager for Aeropostale, opening their Flag Ship store in Walden Galleria. With the burning desire still inside of her to do more she decided to switch career paths and get back into the food industry. Becky spent the next 5 years working as a Department Manager for Wegmans.

On December 13, 2013 Ellie Ann was born. Ellie was a dream come true for Becky as she knew from a very young age that she wanted to be a mother.

At this point she made the decision to leave her career at Wegmans to be a stay at home mother to Ellie. This would turn out to be the door that opened up the pathway to freedom for her. When Ellie was 10 months

old Becky had a burning desire to get to work and create freedom. She wanted to make an impact on the world in a huge way. She found a network marketing company in January of 2015 and dug her heels in and got to work. Becky quickly climbed the ranks hitting leadership level in 3 months with a 10 month old at home. Rank after rank she built her business from home while caring for her daughter. Four years later Becky had built and International Cosmetic company in 7 different countries all from her phone using social media.

Motherhood was amazing and rewarding but came with its struggles. “I think most women don’t realize they suffer from postpartum, I felt alone like I had lost who I was”. For Becky the first several years as a new mother were extremely difficult trying to figure out her new role and purpose. Her marriage was struggling and finally came to an end after Becky moved out to start over again. “I remember moving into our new house and just telling myself each night, in 30 days you will have a new normal”. This was one of the many mental hacks that helped bring Becky out of her struggles and into the light she so desperately sought after. Becky began to see the signs of freedom and the life she dreamed of. She began engulfing herself into personal development are creating a daily routine for a strong mindset.

Becky attended weekly spiritual class

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{ FREEDOM WARRIOR } “It was in the toughest times that I allowed myself to be stripped down to the core of who I really was and I made a decision to face it all and grow to the best version of me I could.”

for meditation. “It was in the toughest times that I allowed myself to be stripped down to the core of who I really was and I made a decision to face it all and grow to the best version of me I could. I believe that strong women aren’t simply born but are forged through the challenges of life. Each challenge we choose to grow mentally and emotionally. We choose to move forward with our heads held high and a strength that can not be denied. I am a woman who 304

has been through the storm and not only survived but found freedom in the warrior I became.”

Today Becky is partnered with Project Feeding Kids and works to provide essential services for individuals and business. Each time a bill gets paid a child gets feed in the United States.

“That’s the kind of impact I have always wanted to make.” Becky is currently leading the fastest growing organization within her network

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marketing company in the North East.

“The definition of a warrior to me is someone who can look at herself in the mirror and see the raw essence of who you are and conquer the mind that holds you back from achieving all your goals and dreams.” Becky’s passion, drive and tenacity truly make her the modern day Warrior.

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{ MENTALLY THINKING }

ASSESSING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

BY BONNIE FLOYD

In today’s society, it’s very common for us to spend enormous amounts of time, as well as money, looking after our physical health statuses. We’re careful to purchase organic produce, to weight ourselves on a regular basis, and to take our daily multi-vitamins. We allocate time for physical activity, whether by going to the gym, playing individual and/or team sports, or simply walking around the block for exercise.

We make sure to have annual physicals with our primary care providers, as well as to complete routine screening examinations, including mammograms and pap smears. If necessary, we take our prescription medications when needed, for a short-term illness, or a chronic condition.

We routinely schedule appointments to have our eyes examined, and our teeth cleaned.

Just as important as all of the proactive steps that we take to guard our physical health, we carefully avoid habits and practices that are known to be deleterious to our health. Of course, this includes not smoking cigarettes, avoiding excessive drinking, refraining from eating unhealthy foods, and limiting unnecessary weight gain.

While it is very important to take excellent care of our physical health, it’s also essential to be regularly mindful of our state of mental health. The concept of having an annual physical is easily understood to us; our primary care 308

physicians evaluate our overall physical health status. They ask us detailed questions about our daily habits and health practices. They carefully review our family medical histories.

Our primary care physicians also inquire about any problematic symptoms that we may possibly be experiencing, as well as how long we’ve had such symptoms, their relative intensity, and their duration.

They prescribe a course of treatment to address such symptoms, as well as

provide a prognosis.

However, for the overwhelming majority of us, the concept of having an annual check-up for our mental health status appears somewhat foreign, even intimidating. We find it very difficult to comprehend that we’d schedule an annual assessment of our mental health and well-being right?

As a clinical health psychologist, I’ve

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received specialized training that highlights the critical role that our emotional wellbeing plays, both In the development and the course of diverse types of physical illnesses. I’ve chosen to subspecialize in psychosocial adaptation to chronic illness.

My clinical experiences have shown that emotional factors are critically important to predicting how well diverse individuals will uniquely respond to the multiple demands of coping with chronic illness. Pre-existing diagnoses of anxiety or depressive disorders will definitely impact how well individuals are able to deal with the long-term challenges of continued medical conditions.

Personality characteristics will also exert a profound influence on the ways in which individuals react to receiving their initial medical diagnoses, how they will choose to react when their symptoms possibly worsen, and the coping strategies that they employ when illness impacts their pre-existing lifestyles.

I’ve spent many years observing the significant impact of emotional factors on overall adjustment to illness. As a result, I’m convinced that all of us need to regularly take inventory of our mental health and well-being.

Physicians will agree that it’s easier to prevent an illness, than it is to treat one. I strongly maintain that there’s a parallel effect for the development, as well as the treatment, of mental

{ MENTALLY THINKING } “While it is very important to take excellent care of our physical health, it’s also essential to be regularly mindful of our state of mental health.”

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{ {RWO’S MENTALLY MENTAL THINKING HEALTH} } “It’s certainly critically important to take excellent care of your physical health. While doing so, please don’t needlessly neglect your overall mental well-being.”

health difficulties. It’s much easier to successfully treat symptoms of anxiety and depression when they are relatively milder. Failing to address symptoms of emotional distress at a less serious state of development will ultimately require utilization of much greater resources, of both time and money.

In addition to taking excellent care of your physical health, stop to think about the current status of your mental health. Are you basically satisfied with your life? Do you have meaningful, mutually supportive relationships? Are you engaged in the type of work that 310

you find valuable and rewarding? Do you allocate adequate time for rest and relaxation? Do you make sure to budget time for hobbies and recreation?

Furthermore, it’s important to periodically assess your level of self-esteem. Are you genuinely struggling with the same types of areas repeatedly? Have you truly made peace with your past, if it’s necessary to do so? Are you perhaps struggling with any form of addiction, whether it be to alcohol and/or other substances, working, eating, shopping, engaging in sex, or gambling?

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More days than not, do you awaken with a sense of purpose in your life? Do you have interesting, meaningful ways to spend your time? Are you basically satisfied with where you happen to be at this point in your life, or are you always thinking that happiness is yet to emerge, at some future point?

It’s certainly critically important to take excellent care of your physical health.

While doing so, please don’t needlessly neglect your overall mental well-being.

{ THE WELLNESS WAVE }

SOUL SPRING

BY THERESA KUSAK-SMITH

SOUL SPRING What flowers of our hearts are ready to bloom?

New soul, a chance for new beginnings.

Let us use this day for good.

The rain has softened everything, preparing us for new growth.

We are always so quick to point out the crab grass of our souls.

What will emerge?

What flowers are there, that we can water and grow?

Will I allow something new to emerge?

Thich Nhat Hanh always said of our compost piles:

Or

Who will I be after the rain stops?

Will I keep below the surface?

“They give us the opportunity to turn our garbage, into flowers.”

Can it actually soak down to my core and allow me to germinate?

What a metaphor for our lives.

Which seeds will I choose to grow?

We a r e b i g compost piles, creating more fertile ground everyday in which to plant goodness.

Sadness and limitations?

Self judgement? Or Infinite, beautiful, messy goodness.

We cry over all that has died or spoiled in our lives.

These are the things needed, to create the ground, the soil for growth.

Flowers, garbage, compost – wha la New soil.

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seeds of new beginnings.

Let us plant seeds in this new and fertile soil, and let the rain swell our

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The Wellness Wave Bringing Calm to You.

Would you like to…..

Conquer stress?

Support lower blood pressure?

Decrease cortisol levels?

Create a calmer, more focused life?

"After a 20 minute session with Theresa, I have a sense of calm and peace.

My anxiety and internal pressure are relieved. I am able to accept and manage the rest of my day with ease." ~Hannah B. Smith

Restore and uplift yourself on your lunch hour.

You will experience a twenty minute restorative pose, which is equivalent to a two-hour nap.

The session will end with an energizing guided meditation.

Pants and a stretchy or loose fabric top are recommended.

Meet Theresa Theresa Kusak-Smith, is a 20-year student of yoga and a certified Relax and Renew Restorative Yoga Teacher.

She trained under internationally renowned: Restorative Yoga expert Judith H. Lasater, Ph.D., P.T. Davidji's Meditation Academy Thich Nhat Hanh, Blue Cliff Monestary She holds a Masters in Social Work, specializing in family systems from Syracuse Uniiversity and is the author of a forthcoming book, The Little Book on Big Parenting.

Reach out to Theresa: 585-746-8563 or tkusaksmith@me.com

{ LIFESPAN }

BREAKING THE SILENCE ABOUT ELDER ABUSE

BY TRACEY SIEBERT-KONOPKO, LMSW

“How could this happen to me?” This is just one of many reactions of hurt and disbelief that I hear from victims of elder mistreatment and financial exploitation.

The trauma of elder abuse expresses itself in many ways: confusion, anger, regret, depression. Underlying the difficult feelings is a deep sense of betrayal by trusted family members and friends.

Most elder abuse is hidden, yet it occurs in all income strata, in all neighborhoods and in families you would never suspect. Many victims are too ashamed, too frightened to tell someone, to ask for help. We estimate that only one in 24 instances of abuse is ever reported. In New York State, we believe 260,000 older adults experience elder abuse each year. Adult sons and daughters are the most common perpetrators of abuse.

As a social worker, I have worked with survivors of elder abuse for over a decade – my entire professional career. This experience has uniquely transformed my thoughts and feelings about aging and about older adults.

Like many of my colleagues, I got into social work to make a difference, finding a niche in working with survivors of elder abuse. I was going to champion for the lost, fallen, and in-need. To enact social change and right the wrongs of society. The world was in black and white; you either needed help or you were the helper. I saw myself as the Superhero – She Who Would Fix It. I was wrong.

What I have learned is that older adults, even those in difficult situations – poverty, ill health, elder abuse – they don’t need fixing.

In my youthful privilege, I was blind to the wisdom and resiliency of those who came before me. I looked at my clients, some of whom had been in abusive situations their entire lives, cycles of violence that they’d endured and survived, as though I knew better than they. Now I know that I don’t know better; and that it isn’t my job to be their hero. Rather, it’s my job to walk beside them and to provide guidance (when requested) and support so that they may continue to

practice those skills that have strengthened them over time.

One of the benefits of aging is an acquired knowledge base; a cerebral renaissance bolstered by a rich tapestry of experiences, both bad and good, that transform us into the person we will become. The flip-side of this, the Greek tragedy of it all is that it’s often only after challenging experiences that we are able to achieve this clarity. Somewhere, Cassandra of Troy is saying a blanket, “I told you so.”

This knowledge has influenced both my individual social work practice and my personal interactions. As my parents and grandmother age, I am constantly reminding

point she knew she had to break her silence to prevent another tragedy. In one of her last acts of kindness and selflessness, Ellen went public with her story. She made a video for Lifespan that has been used hundreds of times to raise awareness of elder abuse and help others.

Other victims have shared their voices about being abused.

“I think I need to ask for help. I don’t want to get her in trouble, but I think she’s taking my money. She keeps telling me not to worry, that she has it under control. But I want to be involved in my own affairs.”

“She is angry and can be violent. I know I can’t make her get help, so I have to figure out how to protect myself. I feel like other people in my family don’t really understand.”

“They told me they were borrowing a little money from my account, but I didn’t know they were going to take almost all of my money over a short period of time.”

myself to take a back seat to their choices.

They’re adults who deserve the dignity and have earned the right to make their own decisions, even if I may disagree with those decisions at times. The directive to “respect your elders” does not go on to say, “Only if you agree with them.”

One victim who did speak up was Ellen Stubbs. Many people in our community knew Ellen well for her service and love of others. Her case was typical in that it started with a family member hooked on drugs. Like many, Ellen didn’t want to tell anyone or get her loved one in trouble. She suspected that this person was stealing money from her purse, so one night she decided it would be safer if she just started sleeping with her purse.

Sadly, one terrible night, in order to get to the purse, Ellen was severely beaten; sustaining injuries that required 82 stitches. At that

“When he comes to my house asking for money, he gets loud and the neighbors hear him. It’s embarrassing, so I let him in and give him money to make him go away.”

“He really scares me at times, I know it’s time to make a decision.”

“This isn’t what I would have wanted her to do with my money.”

“I have no one, no one I can trust. My family only cares about my money, I have to do what is necessary to protect myself from them.”

Elder abuse and mistreatment thrive in silence. Older adults may be embarrassed by the situation and feel powerless. They may be reluctant to reach out for help. It is in these times that professional assistance may be necessary, but not to “fix” it. Rather, professional support and guidance to review options and walk with older survivors of abuse can help to break the silence and ensure that our older adults live with dignity and respect.

{ WRONGFULLY CONVICTED }

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{ PRODUCT SPOTLIGHT }

MONA MOON NATURALS

BY HAVERLY ERSKINE

Mona Moon Naturals officially launched in 2019. Much like other businesses, however, the company’s story began well before that.

Mona Samaan-Ockenden always had an interest in healthy living. In 2015, her interest got personal. Her younger sister was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 44. As the sisters navigated the world of LCIS-lobular carcinoma in situ, a double mastectomy, and the recovery process, they asked the question most of us would: How did this happen?

day. Samaan-Ockenden was introduced to a homemade deodorant from a mom at her son’s school that worked well, used simple ingredients, and had no added chemicals. For the next year, she continued to modify and improve the recipe to use fewer ingredients without sacrificing the quality and efficacy of the product, a process she continues to enjoy with all Mona Moon Natural products.

Her sister’s cancer was estrogen-based. The sisters quickly learned that many body care, home cleaning products, and plastic containers are full of chemicals known as “hormone disruptors.”

More frightening is that many products are deceptively labeled “organic” and/or “allnatural” even though they still contain hormonedisrupting ingredients.

“I was eager to create a product that listed ingredients that people knew without having to Google to see if they were harmful chemicals,” says SamaanOckenden.

Mona Moon Naturals, a natural, chemical-free skincare company based in Fairport, NY, started with one product: a deodorant that provided a self-confident, fresh feeling that lasted all 320

to make Mona Moon Naturals official.

Mona Moon Naturals Deodorant: Paste with Purpose The deodorant stands out from others for a couple of reasons. One is that the deodorant is a paste, and you apply it with your fingers. The other is that the product has a clear message: know your body. The company encourages all users to take a few extra seconds to check for lumps under the arms and in the breasts as early detection of cancer may be lifesaving. For that reason, the deodorant uses the social media hashtag #pastewithpurpose.

The deodorant is made from simple non-GMO ingredients, organic coconut oil, arrowroot powder, beeswax, aluminum free baking soda and lavender, lemon and frankincense essentials oils.

“As an engineer, I am a natural problem solver. I also love cooking,” says SamaanOckenden. “Creating natural products with healing ingredients in the kitchen is really exciting.”

It wasn’t long before family and close friends began using the deodorant and referring it to others. A weekend retreat with her WPO sisters encouraged her

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JUNE/HEALTH & WELLNESS EDITION 2019

Product Launches and Moving Forward Since launching the deodorant, Mona Moon Naturals has received a variety of requests for other products.

The company now produces a lip balm and a body whip (think body butter but better!). They are currently perfecting lotion bars. Just as the company did with the deodorant, family and friends provide feedback on variations of new products until the best version is ready for sale.

“I receive notes from customers who

explain how long they’ve been looking for products like the ones we’re producing, and how happy they are to have finally found them,” says Samaan-Ockenden.

“That really makes my day.”

As the company expands its product portfolio and customer base, it’s committed to developing its online presence and utilizing social media to help spread its #pastewithpurpose message.

Life-Lessons Exposed: Gratitude and Adventure Launching new products takes a bit of trial and error. Samaan-Ockenden’s dear friend (and breast cancer survivor) created the name Mona Moon Naturals and designed seven logos for her to review.

When Samaan-Ockenden questioned whether this new adventure would 322

work, her friend replied, “If it doesn’t, we’ll just readjust and try again.”

comfort zones, especially when it comes to exploring and fulfilling passions.”

“I’m most grateful for the willingness of friends to try the deodorant every time I tried a new formula, my tribe of sisters who continue to encourage and guide me, and the love and support of my family, especially my husband,” says Samaan-Ockenden.

Where to Find Mona Moon Natural Products The company’s online presence is relatively new, but they’ve already received orders from and shipped products to Alaska, Arizona, Florida, California, and British Columbia. The products are also available in select Rochester, NY-based boutiques, and there are potential plans to expand to boutiques in South Carolina. For a complete list of boutiques that carry Mona Moon Natural products, visit monamoonnaturals.com.

When she looks toward the future, despite being a busy mom of two with a full-time job and numerous charitable and family commitments, SamaanOckenden reflects on a Helen Keller quote: Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.

“That really resonates with me,” she says. “Our time is a precious resource, and we should expand beyond our

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JUNE/HEALTH & WELLNESS EDITION 2019

To learn more about the company, shop the products, and review the ingredients, visit monamoonnaturals.com.

{ SHIFT+CONTROL }

All natural beauty products made by hand in small batches.

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{ MORTGAGE TIPS FOR WOMEN }

DOWN PAYMENT FUNDS

BY PHYLLIS HABERER

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT GIFTS

One of the most challenging aspects of buying a home is saving up for the down payment required to make the purchase. In some cases, you may have a family member who wants to help by contributing to the down payment. That’s wonderful, of course!

However, there are rules and regulations that potential homebuyers need to be aware of. I’m here to help you ensure your funds are used properly and that it doesn’t delay or prevent you from closing on your new home!

TYPES OF GIFTS The most common type of gift is simply money from one or more individuals. Most mortgage loan types restrict gifts to relatives, however FHA loans actually have a broader gift acceptance, providing flexibility for gifts from people such as a family friend, employer, or even a grant.

A different type of down payment gift comes in the form of home equity. This occurs when a family member offers to sell their home to you for less than its appraised value. The price difference that you’re saving can be used as a down payment, very similar to a cash gift.

Giving a gift of equity doesn’t have to 324

be a complicated matter, so long as both parties meet the mortgage documentation requirements and the donor files the necessary tax paperwork.

GIFT RULES There are several types of mortgage loans, and each has different rules regarding using gifts as a down payment. Most, but not all, options require you to also pay a certain percentage of your own

This paperwork is called a gift letter.

The gift letter must be written and provided to your lender by the person or persons who provided the gift (funds or equity). It must include their contact information, relationship, the gift amount, and written documentation identifying that the money as a gift. Your mortgage loan provider will be happy to give information on what details the letter should include.

Whether or not you have gift funds for down payment, if you are ready to begin the process, come see me at Premium Mortgage. I’ll take personal care in getting you the best mortgage program to suit your individual needs!

money on top of the down payment.

Regardless of which type of mortgage applied for, cash is not an acceptable form of payment for a gift. Like all major financial transactions, mortgage gifts require a paper trail.

If you are in the process of purchasing a new home or have questions about refinancing and the associated closing costs, call Phyllis Haberer at Premium Mortgage Corporation: 1 (585) 314-8511. You can also email her: phyllis@premiummortgage.com

PAPERWORK REQUIREMENTS Speaking of a paper trail, your mortgage lender will have specific records and documents that you will need to provide in order to verify that the transfer of funds is a gift (and doesn’t need to be repaid).

Phyllis Haberer Senior Loan Officer | NMLS# 58078 2541 Monroe Avenue, Rochester, NY 14618 (585) 314-8511 NMLS #3254 Equal Housing Lender

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HAVE YOU MET YOUR

Local Expert

IN HOME FINANCING?

Call Phyllis today for a FREE Pre-Approval!

PHYLLIS HABERER Senior Loan Officer | NMLS#58078

C: (585) 314-8511 D: (585) 363-7087 O: (585) 241-0000 x104 Phyllis@PremiumMortgage.com

Phyllis grew up in Fairport and is a graduate of Fairport High School. She attended the College of Saint Elizabeth in Convent Station, New Jersey. She became the very first Premium Mortgage Loan Officer in March of 2000, and brought with her over 15 years of experience in the mortgage industry. Her background includes extensive “hands on” experience in all aspects of home finance. Having worked as a Mortgage Loan Analyst, Mortgage Loan Underwriter and Manager of Operations, her indepth knowledge of the mortgage process offers true advantages for you, the homebuyer.

Phyllis has the know-how to quickly summarize your needs and find you the mortgage program that best suits your situation and she will guide you through the loan application process and be with you to answer your questions every step of the way.

Many Financing Programs Available!

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{ BALANCED LIFE HEALTH COACHING }

HORMONES

BY LORI NOLAN

How to manage the changes naturally

to be addressed separately, things like underlying chronic illness, thyroid issues, diabetes, obesity, etc)

I’m sure that we have all been aware of our hormones at one time or another. We certainly remember our teenage years, when everyone said our hormones were “raging”.

But today as adults, we still experience hormonal shifts, whether it’s when we as women, have experienced the fluctuations before and during our menstrual cycle, or you may be experiencing the many mood changes as well as body changes, if you are in the perimenopause or menopause phase of life . Men actually go through the very same fluctuations also, called andropause.

Understanding what hormones are, and the profound effect they have on us, physically, mentally and emotionally is critical.

Hormones are chemical messengers that control things like your mood, your weight, your appetite and more.

1) Get adequate amounts of protein (but not over consume) Keep in mind that protein does not necessarily have to come from an animal. We tend to forget, or are unaware that many plants and whole grains are loaded with protein. Protein provides amino acids that your body doesn’t make on its own, but that are needed on a daily

Hormonal imbalances have been become all too common. Some things that have an impact on hormones are stress, the fast pace of life, the decline in some hormones as we age, and even food and activity (or inactivity) can all cause our hormones to get out of whack. But fortunately, eating a nutritious diet and adopting healthy lifestyle behaviors may help improve your hormone health so that you can feel and perform better.

Here are some tips on improving hormone balance. Keep in mind that some folks have medical challenges that may need 330

basis to maintain muscle, to keep bones strong and our skin healthy. Also, protein influences certain hormones that control our appetite, like whether we feel hungry all the time or we feel satisfied after eating a meal. The key is to keep our glucose levels steady throughout the day so that they don’t’ keep spiking and falling with each meal ( thus impacting our hormones) by eating slow digesting foods, foods that are in their whole form ( not processed and full of refined sugars and additives).

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2) Engage in regular exercise. Physical activity can strongly influence hormonal health. A major benefit of exercise is its ability to reduce insulin levels and increase insulin sensitivity. Insulin is a hormone that has several functions. One is allowing cells to take up sugar and amino acids from the bloodstream, which are then used for energy and maintaining muscle. While insulin is good and a little goes a long way, but too much is dangerous. When insulin levels get too high, they have been linked to inflammation, heart disease, diabetes and cancer. The best forms of exercise have proven to be, aerobic, strength training and endurance. Lastly, being active may also help boost levels of muscle maintaining hormones that decline as we age, such as testosterone, IGF1, DHEA and growth hormone. So get out there and at the very least, taka a nice vigorous walk.

3) Learn to manage your stress. We all have stress, but it is critical to our health, that we learn to manage it. Two hormones that are effected by stress are cortisol and adrenaline (also called epinephrine). Cortisol is also called the stress hormone because it helps the body cope with stress over the long term. We’ve heard of the “fight of flight” response and that would be adrenaline, it provides that surge of energy when you are in danger. Sadly, chronic stress leads to elevated cortisol, which has been shown to produce extra belly fat (especially in women) and when chronic stress elevates adrenaline, people can experience high blood pressure, anxiety, rapid heart rates.

{ A BALANCED LIFE }

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{ BALANCED LIFE HEALTH COACHING } “Some things that have an impact on hormones are stress, the fast pace of life, the decline in some hormones as we age, and even food and activity (or inactivity) can all cause our hormones to get out of whack.”

We can help keep these hormones balanced by adopting some lifestyle changes, such as, yoga, meditation, massage and even listening to calming music, along with breathing techniques.

4) Avoid overeating and undereating.

Overeating raises insulin sensitivity, especially folks that are overweight and who are insulin resistant. The opposite of that would be undereating, and cutting calories so low that it stresses the body and cortisol levels raise.

All bodies are different, so find what works for you. Personally, I’m a big advocate of a whole food plant based diet. I eat lots of slow digesting whole grains and vegetables

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and minimal animal meat. I never have to count calories, but I am just mindful of what I’m taking in and it works!

you aren’t sleeping well, chances are, you’re overeating, overweight, and experiencing low and poor moods and fatique.

5) Sleep. Sleep is so important, and not just any kind of sleep, but getting quality, uninterrupted sleep. No matter how nutritious your diet is, or how much you are exercising, if you’re sleep is poor, it will have a dramatic effect on your hormones, not to mention your neurotransmitters that are needed to regulate your moods and overall sense of wellness. We produce the growth hormone that our body needs when we sleep, but we need to get through all five sleep stages before that happens. If

These are the types of things I work with my clients on. Nutrition definitely plays a major role when it comes to balancing our hormones, as well as fueling our body so it performs optimally. Please feel free to contact me at lorinolanhc@gmail.com, or visit my website www.balanceldife.life .

Initial consultations are always no charge.

I’d love to partner with you on your wellness journey.

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Why Work With A Health Coach?

* Tired of a one- size fits all approach to Nutrition? * Confused by the latest fads and trends with food? * Drained from toxic relationships? * Overwhelmed by stress at work? * Fed up with nagging cravings and stubborn weight challenges?

As an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, I will guide and empower you, while providing ongoing support as you set goals and make sustainable changes that improve your health and happiness. Together we will navigate your unique bioindividulaity to find what truly works best for you to achieve a more Balanced Life.

{ YOU MATTER }

EMBRACE YOUR MOXIE

BY JUDI SWANSON

I have a cat named Miakoda. This is a Native American name which means “power of the moon”. Miakoda has been part of our family going for almost 17 years. While she has a lot of years on her clock Mia acts and looks like a kitten. She is not quite 6 lbs, black silky soft fur, playful, sweet, loving and purrfectly happy. Her purr can be heard across a room and when she meow’s watch out! One of the things I admire most about Miakoda is her moxie. Moxie is a force of character, determination, or nerve according to Google. It is self-possessed confidence. An attitude of fearlessness in everyday circumstances.

The capapcity to stand alone in favor of an unpopular opinion (unknown source).

Miakoda is moxie!

In addition to Mia there are two dog fur babies called Bella and Harry.

Mia hates the dogs.

HATES. I don’t like to use the word hate.

Miakoda hates them.

Bella and Harry see Mia as an object to chase and torment. Miakoda sees Bella and Harry as a thorn in her side of getting what she wants when she wants it.

Does she let them get in her way of what she wants? NOPE. She gets around them. If they are at the bottom of the stairs and she wants to cuddle with the humans on the couch she meows A LOT until the humans walk up the stairs to get her and carry her to the couch. She will zig zag throughout the house to get to her desired location or food. If Bella or Harry confront her she will hiss at them until they back down. This small cat will put two 50 lb dogs in their place when she wants something.

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Her favorite non cat snack is insulation from the basement (she nibbles away at it) and spicy tortilla chips. She will stop at nothing to get her needs and her hearts desires met.

She is resourceful, creative, assertive, and determined. Miakoda is the sweetest, most loving kitty who works to get what she wants and does not let ANYTHING stand in her way. She is fearless in her pursuit of her needs and wants.

worth. It hurt it. By basing my needs, wants, desires on the opinions of someone else brought me down. It did not build me up.

As I look at Miakoda it makes me ponder the times I have backed down or given up

There are so many amazing examples of people who have not given up despite rejection, challenges, life. While they are well known in reality they are just like you and me. Humans pursuing a purpose and a dream.

on that were really important to me. Perhaps I hit a hurdle, or two, or three and gave up.

Perhaps I was dealing with someone who has a personality that is difficult for me that I would avoid instead of fighting for what was important for me. I talked myself out of my determination on something or let someone else’s opinion of my heart’s desire sway my decision making.

All the times I did that, and there are many, it never felt good. It felt diminishing and defeating. Not pursuing my heart’s desires did nothing to build my confidence or self-

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When I began to tap into my moxie it was unsettling at first. I felt uncomfortable with this change. It was scary, unsettling, and freeing all rolled into one. Once I embraced my moxie it was watch out world here I come!

In the movie “Erin Brockovich” based on a true life story Erin gets hired by her attorney Ed Masry after showing up to work at his law firm and telling him he was going to hire her. I call that moxie. You know who else had moxie?

Albert Einstein did not speak until he was four years old. Jim Carrey was homeless and lived in a van. Richard Branson HAS dyslexia, Stephen King’s first novel was REJECTED 30 times, Oprah Winfrey gave birth at 14 and lost her child, three African-American women at NASA Katherine Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan, and Mary Jackson were the brains that launched John Glenn into orbit, JK Rowling struggled financially as a single mother who was depressed and Henry Ford was told his way of making cars would never work and it failed many times. MOXIE!

“There are so many amazing examples of people who have not given up despite rejection, challenges, life.�

{ YOU MATTER } “Once I embraced my moxie it was watch out world here I come!”

Did you ever notice in action adventure movies that the hero’s DO NOT give up?

They keep determining ways to get the villain and save the world.

We all have moxie in us. Moxie is that will to overcome, to keep going even when the going gets tough, to keep working towards whatever is near and dear to our hearts, 336

our purpose. It’s a feeling that in face of rejection we will rise up again and figure out a different way to get to where we want to go. Moxie is like that kitty cat who says no way to the dogs of destruction. You are not going to stop me from doing me.

You matter so very much! Your grit, resiliency, smarts, humor, caring and moxie are limited

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edition as you are the only one human who can do you! If you feel your moxie running low think about the almost 17 year old insulation, spicy tortilla chip eating cat.

If she can do it so can you!

May the Miakoda moxie be with you!

{ DAY TRIPPIN WITH THE DIVAS }

SHANGRI-LA, GLAMPING IN NATURE

BY CHERYL KATES

Road trip! Diva 1 and Big Russ Da Bully, hit the road, just an hour outside of the city, there is a whole new world nestled amongst the trees in Naples, NY. That’s right we went glamping! We loaded our baby, “ Feloni” (our dog), packed some stuff and drove off into the hills. Just so you know, we are not your average glamper. We love the bright lights and hustle and bustle of the city. So, leaving that behind made us a little nervous. We knew our version of glamping had to include Wi-Fi and cell service so we called to make sure we would not be totally off the grid. If you prefer that, there are several other cabins to choose from.

Best of all, Shangri-La is pet friendly so pack up your pooch and hit the road.

Shangri-La is a unique place to experience because it is “ecotourism” in Naples. The owner Edward Bebko is the former owner of Comix Café in Rochester and Buffalo. After retiring from the club business, Mr. Bebko opened the resort. There are 30 acres to explore. The property utilizes solar energy, organic cleaning products, and has special organic body care products for guest use etc. Don’t expect you won’t have the comforts of home, as the cabin exceeding our expectations. The décor was rustic. There was a fully equipped kitchen, flat screen TV’s, a comfortable living room and dining room with an open floor plan. The North house has 2 bedrooms. The Master Suite has a beautiful deck where you can sit and watch the stars. The lower bathroom had a sunken tub which was extremely relaxing to soak in. They even have a PlayStation 4 338

in the basement playroom.

The grounds are peaceful and serene. You can eat outside at the picnic table, enjoy a crackling fire by the fire pit or hike on the trails throughout the property. To sum it up, a peaceful paradise where you can stop and listen to the birds chirping, see the chipmunks frolicking and watch the Muscovy ducks swimming in the pond. There is actually a duck farm on the property. Walking through the wooded trails, brought a calmness to your soul

to know and remember sometimes, you have to stop and smell the flowers, pick the dandelion and blow the petals into the wind and watch them dance as they fall to the ground.

The mission of the resort is: “It is our mission to promote eco-friendly practices of living to limit our carbon footprint. With electric vehicles, organic products and local organic foods, Shangri-La is proud to be doing the right thing for the environment” (1).

The Town of Naples is about 6 minutes away,

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so you are not totally lost from civilization.

There are 4 wineries/distilleries you can check out; Hollerhorn Distillery, Arbor Hill Winery, Hazlit’s Red Cat Cellars, and Inspire Moore Winery. Naples is the home of the Grape Festival in the fall. If you visit at that time, make sure you try the famous grape pies. Luigi’s Pizza and Diner delivers to the resort so grabbing a pizza is easy. Don’t forget to check out some of the shops in town, especially Joseph’s Wayside Market and Artizann’s Gifts Art Gallery. If you are more of the outdoors type, there is an additional area close by to go hiking if your longing to see a beautiful waterfall.

There is also ziplining at Bristol Mountain!

The Shangri La also supplies berries to the Spotted Duck Frozen Custard located in Penn Yan. The Windmill Market is also located there (open on Saturdays).

Overall, glamping at Shangri La was an awesome experience.

We hiked the trails, took in the calming atmosphere and really relaxed for the weekend. It was a great change of scenery.

Taking the time to step back from the world we usually lived in turned out to be a great idea. So, if you and your family are looking for a relaxing weekend this resort will not disappoint. It is affordable. The staff is friendly. It’s just what you need to unwind and enjoy nature, in a natural setting.

So, what are you waiting for, pack up the car and head out to Naples, NY; Shangri La. If you would like more information about planning a trip here, give Ed a call at 585-374-6103.

{ DAY TRIPPIN WITH THE DIVAS } “It is our mission to promote eco-friendly practices of living to limit our carbon footprint.

With electric vehicles, organic products and local organic foods, Shangri-La is proud to be doing the right thing for the environment.”

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{ UNLIMITED COACHING }

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{ UNLIMITED COACHING }

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{ COUNSELING MOVEMENT }

POSITIVE BODY IMAGE

BY NICOLE LAMBERT

How Parents Can Model A Positive Body Image For Their Children Every where and every day children see and hear messages of what they “should” look like based on how our society defines “beauty”. We live in a society that has a very narrow view what is beautiful. The problem with this is that “beauty” is subjective, not objective. It is true when they s a y, “ B e a u t y i s in the eye of the beholder”. There is no right or wrong way to be beautiful.

We don’t celebrate our own beauty and uniqueness enough.

Children soak in almost everything that their parents/ caregivers do and say.

Parents and caregivers are the first step in helping their children develop a positive body image. Here is a list of some things parents can do to help model a positive body image for their children. With practice and repetition, these items should help you improve your own body image too!

To get you started…

1.Don’t normalize body-shaming.

Be aware that children often hear when you say, “My thighs look way too big so I’m going on a diet”. If you are trying to lose weight or don’t like certain parts of your body, talk 342

about it in a “healthy” way. What I mean by this is saying things more in a way that promotes a healthy lifestyle. Instead try, “I’m trying to lose weight so I can be more active and healthier.”

2. Listen to your children if they express that they don’t like parts of their body. Just being heard can go a long way. Take it a step further and

sympathize that you have felt less than perfect at times and talk about ways you were able to get through it.

3. Embrace the ways in which your body is different from everyone else’s. Try to teach your children that everyone has a healthy weight that their body functions best at.

Emphasize the fact that everyone’s body is different and it is not realistic for everyone’s body to look the same.

4. Focus on a healthy lifestyle—teach

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your children about how healthy foods fuel our body to be its best.

5.

Make exercise fun—be creative with this and allow your children be a part of planning physical activity for the family.

6.

Focus on your child’s strengths and talents. Encouraging your children to embrace their talents and strengths builds selfconfidence.

self-esteem.

7.

Focus on your child as a whole and not in parts.

This means not making comments on your child’s size or shape.

That can lead to selfconsciousness and decreased

Modeling a positive body image can be extremely challenging, especially if you aren’t completely comfortable in your own skin. If you are having a hard time accepting your own body, don’t hesitate to reach out for help.

When you work on your own body image, become comfortable in your own skin, and accept who you are, it’s empowering. Your children will notice and will be more likely to follow in your footsteps.

Dani lost 45 pounds*

* Actual client. These results reflect those of this particular client. Every client's results vary based on commitment to the program ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: JUNE/HEALTH & WELLNESS EDITION 2019

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2501 Browncroft Blvd I Rochester, N www.rochesterfitnes

New York 14625 I (585) 218-4110 ssequipment.com

{ ROC THERAPEUTIC }

MASSAGE: WHAT THE SCIENCE SAYS

BY SARAH SWARTZENBERG, LMT

Have you ever had this conversation with yourself? “Me? Get a massage?

What for?” When most of us think of the word massage it brings to mind images of expensive pampering sessions where you pay more for the ambiance than the massage itself. But what good is massage on its own? Can we get more from massage than just a feeling of relaxation? The science is in, and luckily for all of us the answer is yes!

Pain is an issue that we all experience at some point in our lives. For some pain is chronic, and something that must be managed day to day for months, years, or even a lifetime.

For others it’s a temporary reaction to physical or psychological trauma.

Massage is thought to soothe pain in a number of different ways. It can loosen tight muscles and relieve tension around joints and tendons. It can also send calming messages through your nerves which compete with pain signals. Doing this allows fewer pain signals to reach your brain.

Massage has been found to be significantly effective at treating pain when compared to no treatment, sham (placebo-type) treatments, and active treatments including exercise, self-stretching, physiotherapy, and mental relaxation.

Not only this, but massage is considered an extremely safe therapy. This is an 346

incredible revelation in an age when modern medicine is running out of novel and safe approaches to treat pain!

As we age or are injured, our body seeks to minimize further damage to itself.

One of the ways it does this is through the creation of scar tissue. While it may prevent injury in the short-term, these thickened bunches of connective tissue can decrease our flexibility and limit our range of motion. While this may sound

like a complicated medical problem, and while many turn to surgery to repair these restrictions, for milder cases massage therapy may present a solution.

Studies have shown that massage can improve flexibility and stability of joints, leading to better balance and fewer injuries. Massage has also been shown to improve joint ability to move through a full and unrestricted range of motion while also decreasing pain associated

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with restrictions!

Well controlled blood pressure is an important part of maintaining your physical health. Blood pressure that is too high can lead to higher rates of blood clots, leaky blood vessels, and strokes. In the long term, elevated blood pressure can also contribute to the development of heart disease. When receiving massage your body goes through several positive changes: your heart beats more slowly, your blood carries more oxygen to cells, and your blood becomes less thick. These changes work together to allow your blood to flow more easily throughout your body and nourish it. These changes lower your blood pressure and can last for days after your massage!

Sleep is a chance for the body and mind to recharge and prepare itself for the stressors of the following day. It is recommended that adults get 7-8 hours of sleep to function at their best throughout the day. To try for so many hours of sleep while also balancing work, social and family responsibilities is an idea probably seems laughable to many of us. It’s not just the quantity of sleep that’s important, however. How many of us find ourselves waking up in the middle of the night, or unable to fall asleep at all? Massage therapy has shown time and time again in the scientific literature, that it has a number

{ ROC THERAPEUTIC } “Have you ever had this conversation with yourself? “Me? Get a massage? What for?”

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{ ROC THERAPEUTIC } “As we age or are injured, our body seeks to minimize further damage to itself. One of the ways it does this is through the creation of scar tissue.�

of beneficial effects on sleep. Not only has massage been shown to extend time spent asleep, but it also improves the quality of sleep, and leads to less difficulties falling asleep, and fewer nighttime awakenings!

The curveballs that life throws at us can leave us feeling stressed. This can at times be helpful, and give us the motivation to make important changes, but if we continue feeling this way it can have a devastating effect on both our physical and mental health.

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Massage therapy could be an effective addition to our current approach to treat anxiety as it has been found to improve anxiety scores that are situational, such as test anxiety, or anxiety related to a cancer diagnosis, as well as anxiety that is diagnosable in its own right.

If a doctor offered a pill that could decrease pain, increase flexibility, decrease blood pressure, improve sleep, and promote feelings of wellbeing, how many of us would jump at the

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chance to take it? Consider that there may be more to massage than we initially think. This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to scientifically demonstrated massage benefits. Take time to read up on these benefits, or better yet, book a massage in a setting that suits you and experience the healing for yourself!

5 Benefits of Massage: Pain relief Increased flexibility/range of motion Lower blood pressure Enhanced quality of sleep Decrease anxiety We create a quiet environment to relax the body and allow you to be mindfully present to yourself. All of our massages are tailor-made for each individual client.

43 Willow Pond Way, suite 109, Penfield, NY 14526 (585) 485-9983 www.rochestertherapeuticmassage.com

{ RW HEALTHY EDGE }

QUE FITNESS

BY GEORGE BARNES

SOO.. What’s “Que Fitness World” About?

Awareness is paramount within physical fitness1. Our Life Coach is a certified Therapist with 20

Que Fitness World was created for individuals that need professional personal training to improve their personal health and fitness needs.

Our style isn’t like most traditional gyms, we focus on the individuals that suffer from poor balance and flexibility that lead into instability and muscle atrophy.

“We recognize people go through MAJOR LIFE CHANGES such as post surgeries & injuries, post-pregnancy and relationship changes just to name a few.”

We are prepared to customize a plan for you today.” Below is a real life testimonial from a “Life,” happens situation.

Our Philosophy is that we take a 9-Dot approach in obtaining your fitness goals and needs. Personal Training is more than just lifting weights or high intense cardio routines.

Personal Training at Que Fitness World involves a 3 pronged approach to get you back on track for a successful, healthier you! We believe that connecting the Mind, Body, and Spirit optimizes an individual’s best success story. Bonding with your Personal Trainer is critical to your success.

At Que Fitness World we offer additional service such as Life Coaching.

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and Self-improvement Therapy.

Combining Personal Training & Life Coaching will provide a systematic approach to further aide our client’s success story. Lastly, we offer our third and final professional feature coming soon to NY. We offer Private Professional Counseling through a licensed Therapist2. We realize that Fitness isn’t just physical, being physically & consciously healthy takes a 9-Dot approach to success.

REAL LIFE: Has it been a while since you’ve been in a gym? Are you intimidated and unsure of how to start? Well that’s exactly how I felt 2.5 years ago. It had been many years since I had been in the gym. After surviving cancer and 5 knee surgeries with repeated treatments of radiation, I became overweight and completely reconditioned.

years of experience in Relationship counseling, Self-esteem issues,

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What I DID have going for me? It was my DRIVE that kept my going, a deep desire for change. I wanted to feel better inside

{ RW HEALTHY EDGE } “Que Fitness World was created for individuals that need professional personal training to improve their personal health and fitness needs.”

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feel better inside and out, I just did not know how to go about it. That is when I met George Barnes.

I had never worked with a personal trainer before but after my initial consultation I began to feel that making the changes I wanted to make in my body was actually possible.

We worked at a pace appropriate for my restrictions, slow, steady and consistent.

George provided the constant encouragement I needed as well as the knowledge of what worked for me.

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In addition, he was able to provide with careful instruction of what not to perform as it would only hinder my advancements with rebuilding my strength & balance.

The health improvements were numerous and bountiful. And most of all, I felt better with how I looked (let’s face it ladies, isn’t that what we all want)! I have lost 40 pounds and multiple inches but I am not done.

It is not a race to the finish line, it is a journey.

“Don’t Stop, Don’t Quit!” - D.W.

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Contact us: 234 – 236 West Commercial St. East Rochester, NY. 14555 (585)-662-5589 Quefitnessworld.com Licensed Therapists: 1http://linkedin.com/in/antania-barnesmsc-bsl-cpc-5a658131 http://www.amazon.com/DefensesGetting-out-Emotional-Prison/ dp/0692074864 *2https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/ therapists/yannette-m-barnes-meadvillepa/464151 *Coming soon to NY

Que Fitness World: Health & Wellness

We are more than just a Private Training Studio.

“Fitness just isn’t physical, it’s also a Mindset. We combine Fitness & Life

Balance, Strength, & Flexibility

coaching for a Healthy & Balanced Lifestyle.”

*Download our Free App on MINDBODY.

*30 Day Plans -

Small Group H.I.I.T Training Booty Shape Up

-

Nutrition Counseling

-

Rebound Workout

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Youth Conditioning Starting @ $25.00

{ HER EDGE }

“HOW ARE YOU”?

BY ROBIN DEWIND

I checked in on my friend the other day with a quick ‘how are you?’ text.

We had met for dinner with another friend of ours about a month ago. My friend’s father died unexpectedly. It was sudden, but maybe not. He was in nursing care but doing better. My friend had spent countless hours of worry and energy ensuring he had more time. But how do we ever know.

Since there was no funeral, the three of us mourned the only way we knew how; over Italian bread, dipping oil, and drinks in a dark booth.

Twenty years ago, we would have thought nothing of getting together on a Wednesday night.

It took the death of a parent to leave our weekday monotony and excuses behind so we could catch up in person. Work finished early, kids got rides home and the laundry stayed in the basket for another day.

We put our lives and our phones on hold to say the things you can’t say in a text, and to listen without distractions.

Women are funny. Weekends become precious time reserved for husbands, kid’s games, lawn work, obligations, and exhaustion. It all makes a spontaneous 354

weekend get together with girlfriends almost impossible and just another thing to schedule and fit in.

All three of us now live in our mid50’s and spent the most critical years of our adult lives together.

We met at one of our early career stops.

A shared love of news, pop culture

clubbed by Tanya Harding’s body guard a news story we could not get enough of. The 1990’s were our era, when we worked ten hour shifts and enjoyed every minute of it. We were old enough to have responsibilities, but young enough to still have fun.

Our two hour dinner easily inched towards a third hour. Twenty-five years of friendship spilled out on to the table. Details we re s h a re d , gossip was enjoyed and memories returned.

Thankfully we laughed more than we cried.

Marriages, babies, divorces and death have bonded us.

I’m not sure why it took me a whole month to realize that I had not reached out to my friend since that night.

and movies created a lifetime bond.

We were devastated by the death of Princess Diana. We spent the day on the couch calling each other that August morning watching in disbelief as the world woke up to the news.

We were riveted by the OJ trial and the cast of characters that testified on live television each day. We found the tragedy of Nancy Kerrigan being

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I was stopped at a light on my way to pick up my daughter from school when I suddenly thought of her. I am certain her loss did not fade away just because I had.

It got me thinking. We are all walking around with a heavy heart about something. The small daily deaths, disappointments and grieving we bury when we go to get the groceries, attend boring work meetings and wash our

{ SHIFT+CONTROL }

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{ HER EDGE } } { SHIFT+CONTROL “Maybe “how are you?” should really mean something.”

The details of our day mask our loss.

I lost my dad a few years before I met my good friends. The afternoon after I was told he had died I went to the store to buy a dress for his funeral. I knew I would never wear the dress again.

I also spontaneously bought four pairs of shoes; silver loafers, a Steve Madden platform slide, a pair of pink jelly sandals, and Sketcher sneakers.

I’m not sure if I ever wore any of them either. They reminded me of that awful day.

I am sure the cashier thought, wow this woman has a spending problem, or this young woman is very hip and trendy. But on that April day I was just so sad.

There was no way for her to know how heart-sick I was. Six hours earlier my life had changed forever. Now I was in a department store feeling impulsive and lost and the only thing that felt normal to me was shopping.

I can’t remember if I was impatient with the cashier, or how I treated the sales person who went feverishly running to the back of the store for my large order of size and colors.

The truth is, we never really consider or know what someone else is carrying around within them, when they carry out our box of shoes.

When someone is angry and flashing me their middle finger because I’m driving too slow I think, what a jerk.

When a parent gives me the brush off

at a school function, I think, what’s their problem? When the waiter forgets to put my dressing on the side, why do I complain?

Instead of being annoyed, maybe I should try being kind.

We are all walking around, weighed down my something; burdened by a diagnosis, upset with a spouse, or experiencing loss.

Our grief and worry live secretly under our casual conversations, daily duties and actions.

Maybe “how are you?” should really mean something.

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CONTACT ROBIN DE WIND TODAY! I ROBINDEWIND@GMAIL.COM

{ HEALTHY WOMAN }

RETURN TO MY CORE VALUES

BY DIANA SIEGEL

When I tell people have my own health and wellness business and I’m an independent consultant with a Network Marketing/Direct Sales company, I usually get THAT look. You know the one. It’s like I’ve got 3 heads and am speaking gibberish. People often try to skirt around it like it’s a dirty word or walk away. And no, this is not an article on why you should have your own side (or main) hustle with a DS biz. It’s an article on the value of finding your tribe and realizing what it means to be surrounded by people who actually care about you and don’t just say they do.

Growing up in California, I learned as a young child the value of organically grown food (read: grown in my back yard) and recycling. These were part of my every day life, along with the usual respect for my elders and basic manners. When I was about 13, my mom (who is a doctor and generally very interested in everything related to health and medicine) brought to the family’s attention the problems with Trans Fats and processed sugars. This was long before the terms “trans fat” or “partially hydrogenated” were bywords in everyday conversation.

When I moved to Central NY for college, I encountered a completely different culture. Different things mattered to the people I met every day and I was shocked to learn that so many of my peers didn’t give a rat’s you-know-what about throwing everything in the trash or eating terrible for you food day in 360

and day out. I found a few like-minded people, but it wasn’t until 3.5 years ago that I really found my calling.

By day, I’m a full-time engineer, designing power lines and when I’m not with my loved ones, I’m working my DS biz. It’s something I never thought I’d do but it’s been incredibly rewarding. While the products are incredible and we’ve done a good amount of the trendsetting for health and wellness, the most valuable

things I’ve gotten out of this are a return to my core values (which I lost in amongst controlling and manipulative relationships), a community of likeminded people chasing dreams that mirrored my own, and the support to learn more about what health and wellness actually look like. I was encouraged to pursue insane amounts of personal development which benefits every aspect of my life. I found incredible training

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with people like Rachel Hollis, Mel Robbins & John O’Leary. And as of last month, the CEO announced our intention to go zero waste and partner with a company I’d been working with to recycle as much of my packaging as possible. To say I’m excited is an understatement… I screamed and practically bounced out of my seat when they announced it!

If there’s one thing I can say that sticks with you, please let it be this: don’t be afraid of questioning the value of the food you eat, medicines you take and personal care products you use. Products used topically DO affect you internally.

I can’t use toothpaste with SLS in it without getting painful canker sores in my mouth.

My body gets really angry at me when I eat most things made with flour and a celiac’s test came back negative. I can’t use some main-stream sunscreen without getting a very uncomfortable rash. I can usually prevent coldsores if I use lip balm with sunscreen.

With the company I joined, I found solutions I didn’t know existed.

I found products that are vegan & GF certified, kosher certified, cruelty free and following an ingredient policy significantly more strict that the EU that actually work.

I’d love to hear from you on product questions, information requests or sharing (I love learning new things!) or just a cup of coffee/tea.

Find Your InnerDiva...

MARIO’S HAIR SALON 1474 Monroe Ave Rochester, New York 14618 (585) 473-8593 marioshair.com

{ MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE }

CREATING MOVES US THROUGH OUR ADVERSITIES:

BY LISA WAGNER

Navigating Difficult Emotions Mindfully and Creatively Life feels like it’s gone awry and you’re unable to find any kind of relief, is all too common a state of being today. I know from current and past experiences that there are days you wish you could run away to a beach, be fed Mai Tai’s and chips with guacamole until you pass.

Living like Hemingway sounds awfully tempting as of late.

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how to deal with the hand we’ve been dealt.

Upon hanging up, I began thinking about all that we are facing and feeling like they all may be insurmountable issues. I decided to search how to deal with life’s difficult situations. The first thing that popped was a YouTube video by Gaur Gopal Das and it really hit home. Especially when he said, “We don’t laugh at the same joke again and yet we keep crying the same problem again

that response. A few years ago, I would have had a snarky response and felt stung by their words. Instead, I could feel that they were having a difficult day and that I had just been there only a few days prior.

Practicing mindfulness and the power of being in the now allowed me to apologize to them and start over. It shifted the entire conversation. That perceptive shift allowed each of us to have a better day and to deal with anyone else a little more gracefully.

I have seen this practice play out with my students while they work on their pieces. Not being present while you are in creator mode precludes you from being in flow with that grace.

Art moves you through adversity if you are willing to let go and welcome what is to be. Just yesterday I had a student who arrived at first happy but then spoke about how someone in her life continually upset her. When I asked her how she could more lovingly navigate the pain that was bringing up for her, as it is NEVER about the other person, she was able to pause and breath. This then allowed her painting to come alive and free her fear. That’s where love steps in and soothes our wounds like a beautiful, fragrant salve that quickly takes the sting away from that disconnection.

We’ve become accustomed to the numbness we’ve been forced to live in order to even digest the nightly news after a day of unending pressure and stress. I get it and I’m right there with you! So how do we move about in the world today in a more loving way that honors our soul’s desires and purpose?

Being a creator, practicing mindfulness and being a hardcore meditator has moved me into that space of grace not only for myself but for others and our world. His Holiness Radhanath Swami says, “Do not take this material world so seriously because it is always changing. Something terrible that you take so seriously today is going to change tomorrow.” How true that is! Can you even remember what you were worried about last week?

If it’s significant, of course you can.

But those little things that you were sweating have most likely faded into the abyss, only for a new one to show up.

and again.” Ouch! It was like he had been living with us.

So why do we continue to bemoan our perceived worries? We have become separate from that which sends us these lessons to help us grow into who we are here to be and become. I had just gotten off the phone with my stressed husband, wishing I could be of service to him and needed ideas on

As I now sit here and write this, I know for certain that creativity is the key to returning back to that state of presence I love and cherish so dearly. It has been my savior and saving grace. While walking into the studio today, someone snapped at me when I had done nothing to elicit

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Moving intuitively not just in our creator mode but in everyday tasks and work life allows ourselves and other the chance to take that needed breath. To gather our deepest connection to something greater so that it may speak to us in a way that leaves us feeling even more whole.

Notice how others around you feel quieter and safe when you choose to live from that modality. You have not only given yourself a gift but offered it up to the world.

Seeing my workshop participants move

{ TRAVELING WITH ROCHESTER WOMAN }

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{ MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE } “I know from current and past experiences that there are days you wish you could run away to a beach, be fed Mai Tai’s and chips with guacamole until you pass. Living like Hemingway sounds awfully tempting as of late.”

through difficulties on the canvas or paper stirs up emotions for all involved. As their paint is being applied, I can tell where their headspace is and whether or not their life is in a state of fear or love. It allows each of them to open up and work through this latest obstacle with an incredibly new and sometimes jarring way. You can’t deny what is staring you directly in the face. The paint isn’t playing tricks on you. It is here as your message. It’s what you do with that message next that determines where your choices take your heart. Will you stay in connection with that sweet inner guide or will you decided you somehow know better because your idea somehow sounds way easier and less painful? We all know which is your highest choice, though.

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expand, it’s like some psychotic being who’s laughing whilst handing you an elephant that’s meant to sit on your chest. They then tell you, “Hey, it’s what you asked for. Best of luck!” Worst sense of humor ever! But we get through each of those challenges by being creators. Creating solutions to our problems. Unless you love to bemoan every single thing you’re handed, no matter the size. By the way, that lazy elephant just gets heavier from never moving, threatening to take away your last breath if you don’t choose more wisely. Plus, it’s awfully hard to grow strong roots like a might oak when you’re compacting the ground beneath you with your burdensome fearful choices. When we choose to walk our true north, the challenges get bigger but the accomplishment you feel upon conquering that rocky road is undeniable and so very powerful. Plus, the elephant now can accompany you as a friend and companion to remind you

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of your strength the next time the new obstacle shows up.

Let us each dust ourselves off, apply that salve and begin to know we are beautifully enough. Then we can start creating and crafting a life beyond our wildest dreams.

You will see a change in everyone around you and those who remain stuck in their pain will slowly move away from you in order to stay stuck. Send them loving kindness as you forge bravely forward into your bright new path, drawing pretty arrows and words of encouragement for those who come after you. They are going need it as much as you will on this journey to wholeness and contentment. The paintbrush for your life is filled with possibilities and gorgeously bold color. Why on earth would you ever want to add gray energy and color to that?

{ FIT LIFE }

HOW WATER IMPACTS YOUR WEIGHT LOSS

BY BONNIE SUNDERVILLE

Do you realize that water is one of the most important components of losing weight and keeping it off?

First, water suppresses the appetite naturally by creating a feeling of fullness. It also suppresses the false appetite caused by being even mildly dehydrated. You could be over eating when you are really thirsty.

increase in water intake can actually reduce fat deposits. Conversely, water naturally helps rid the body of waste.

During weight loss, the body has a lot more water and metabolized fat to get rid of. Adequate water helps flush out the waste.

Second, the kidneys cannot function properly without enough water. When the kidneys don’t work to capacity the liver helps out.

One of the Liver’s primary functions is to metabolize stored fat into usable energy for the body. If the liver has to do some of the kidney’s work it cannot operate at 100%, and as a result it metabolizes less fat.

More fat remains stored in the body, and weight loss slows down.

Third, dehydration causes the body to slow your metabolism as a survival mechanism. Slowing down your metabolism further slows down fat utilization. In fact, studies have shown that a decrease in water intake will cause fat deposits to increase while an 368

In addition to adding weight loss, staying hydrated has other health benefits. For one, drinking enough water is the best treatment for fluid retention. When the body gets less water it perceives this as a threat to survival and begins to hold on to

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every drop. This shows up as swollen feet, legs, and hands, which is often common with individuals struggling with their weight. Diuretics offer a temporary solution at best, forcing out stored water but also taking some essential nutrients at the same time. When the body knows it has enough water, however, it won’t retail water unnecessarily.

Therefore, the best way to overcome the problem of water retention is to give your body what it needs— plenty of water.

are overweight.

How to get enough water— you can select water rich foods like fresh fruits and vegetables and drink at least eight-8ounce glasses of water each day. An additional 8 ounces for every 25 pounds you

Drinking water alone isn’t going to make you thinner, but if you are exercising and following the right eating plan, then water is going to make your results come easier, healthier and faster.

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{ HEALTHY PERFECTION }

WAKAYA PERFECTION

BY TIM HARRIS SR.

When the Founder of Fiji Water Founded Wakaya Perfection, He had one goal in mind, His goal is to help as many people as he can to get healthy the all-Natural way! He has traveled to the far ends of the earth to find the Purest and most Potent ingredients for these Products! They are all Organic and our High Impact Pink Fijian Ginger and Turmeric are 100% USDA and ACO Certified Organic! Our Ginger is 3 times more potent, and our Turmeric is 5 times more potent than Anything else Available in the Entire World!

Everyone Starts with Our GT Core that includes our High Impact Pink Fijian Ginger, Fijian Turmeric, Multi Essential Vitamins, EFA Reds, Sport & Go, and Daily Detox! Detox your body so you can absorb all the Nutrients and Minerals to get your Core Healthy!

Once you have a Healthy core you can add our other products! We have

It comes from a special Island in the Fiji that David Gilmour bought because of the Rich, Untouched, Volcanic, Mineral enriched soil!

Our Customers have learned the Hard way, that Not all Ginger and Turmeric are the same! We can help you Get Healthy, Lose Weight, Feel better, and Get Your Life Back!

Come see us at any of the RWO’s Events! Try some of our samples and tell us what you think! Make that One Decision Today to change your Life, we have already helped so many people change, if not save their lives!

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Bulafit Keto (fat loss), and 100% Pure CBD Isolate that has NO THC! Along with Innov8tive Nutrition (wellness supplements), Essential Oils, Cherish (Sanitery Napkins), TaLei (skin care), and Culinary (Cooking ingredients)!

We also have an Amazing Business Opportunity where you can get Paid to spread the word! Sound the ALARM

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sorta speak, these numbers should make you Outragged!! America is in a health Crisis, Did you know these statistics?

In just 20 years There has been 4200% increase in Autism, 250% increase in Epilepsy, 41% increase in Heart Disease, 783% increase in Alzheimer’s, 50% increase in Inlammatory Bowel Diseases (Celiac, Crohn’s, IBS, Ulcerative Colitis), 50% increase in Food Allergies i n C h i l d re n , 45% increase in Asthma, 300% increase in Diabetes and a 300% increase in more births from Fertility Treatment!

lives over here!

Whether your looking for Health, Financial Freedom, or High Impact Organic Products, We have it ALL! We’re Changing/Saving

SOUND THE ALARM AND TELL YOU FRIENDS, FAMILY, AND YOU LOVED ONES!

{ { COMMUNITY ASK THE DOCTOR ROCS } }

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{ ASK THE DOCTOR }

SNAPPING HIP

BY LARRY PESHKIN

The muscle responsible for flexing your hip toward your trunk, is called the Psoas. This muscle begins on your lower spine and passes through your pelvis to attach onto the top of your femur (thigh bone). Along this course, the muscle travels across the front of your hip socket and over several bony prominences. If the muscle is too tight, its tendon may rub over these “bumps”. This occasionally produces an audible snapping sound, hence the moniker, “snapping hip”, a k a “p s o a s tendinopathy”.

standing problems can trigger weakness or even limping.

The diagnosis of snapping hip is frequently overlooked. In fact, some studies show that identification is often delayed more than two years, while other potential causes are pursued.

Psoas problems often start when one group of muscles is too tight, while another is too loose. Depending upon the severity of your condition, you

The tendon can be irritated by an acute injury, but more commonly from overuseparticularly repeatedly flexing your hip toward your trunk. The condition is also known as “dancer’s hip” or “jumper’s hip”, as movements associated with these activities are known culprits.

Likewise, the condition is frequently seen in athletes who participate in rowing, track and field, hurdling, running (especially uphill), soccer, and gymnastics.

may need to avoid certain activities for a while. You should especially avoid repetitive hip flexion. Prolonged seated positions can encourage shortening of your hip flexors so be sure to take frequent breaks. Patients with fallen arches may benefit from arch supports.

Your symptoms may include a “snapping” sound or sensation when you flex and extend your hip- although many cases are silent. Repeated rubbing causes inflammation and subsequent deep groin pain that can radiate to the front of your hip or thigh. Long-

Soft tissue manipulation and/or myofascial release may be appropriate to release areas of tightness and/or adhesion within the iliopsoas muscle.

Mobilization and/or manipulation may be necessary to restore normal lumbopelvic joint mobility. Stretching

and strengthening exercises should be directed at the hip flexors and rotators. Rehab exercises could include; psoas inhibition, trunk curl, and bum-walk exercises. Patients with accompanying hip abductor weakness and/or spinal instability will benefit from strengthening of the respective muscles.

Activity modification will generally mirror the severity of the problem.

Symptomatic patients should be cautioned to avoid activities that involve repetitive hip flexion and to take frequent breaks from seated positions that predispose them to hip flexor shortening.

Patients with fallen arches and those who hyperpronate may benefit from an arch supports or or thotics.

Clinicians should address any structural leg length inequalities with a heel lift.

Ice and NSAID’s may be appropriate for acute tendinitis, but anti-inflammatory measures seem counterproductive considering the current understanding of tendinopathy.

If you feel like you may be suffering from “snapping hip”, aka “Psoas tendinopathy” please call our office and make an appointment today to meet with our team of chiropractors and massage therapists- 585-467-7070

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GENTLE & HEALING CHIROPRACTIC CARE

Achieve the healthy, active life that you have been missing

2164 HUDSON AVE., ROCHESTER, NY 14617 585-467-7070 I WWW.IRONDEQUOITCHIROPRACTIC.COM

{ HEALTHY WOMAN }

THEY DIDN’T KNOW

BY MARTHA CONAN

They Didn’t Know: My Personal Journey with Lyme Disease documents author Martha M. Conan’s experience battling this crippling illness in three parts: first, her youth, family relationships, and numerous misdiagnoses; the second, her Lyme disease treatment with her first Lyme doctor; and the third, her Lyme treatment with her second Lyme doctor and where she is today.

young age and had two brothers and one sister. Her father was a physician and her mother was a social worker who remained home to take care of the children. Snow and water skiing, swimming, and hiking were

Conan powerfully depicts how her disease has changed everything that she does, will do, and hopes to do in the future. She focuses on the medical issues of Lyme disease - with her doctor’s treatment and her faith, Conan knows there is a light, even a small one, at the end of the tunnel.

Conan hopes that readers will be encouraged by her journey and find a doctor who understands what the patient is going through and sees the whole picture.

After eleven years of misdiagnoses and the struggles of finding a doctor who treats Lyme, Conan hopes that her story will raise awareness about Lyme disease. This is a worldwide epidemic that can become chronic and alter a person’s life forever.

About the Authors Martha M. Conan grew up in central New York. She was adopted at a 378

ceramics and art history. She went on to graduate school at Syracuse University and received a degree in rehabilitation therapy with a focus on mental health and substance abuse. Wanting to learn more about holistic healing, Conan applied and was accepted into a program for acupuncture and Chinese medicine at New York State Chiropractic College. Unfortunately, she was not able to complete her second master’s degree due to her declining health.

When Conan was diagnosed with Lyme disease, she was able to implement the information she gained throughout her years in school to forge ahead and look outside of the box to heal. She has a strong Catholic faith. As a result of her complications with Lyme, Conan is not able to work, but does run a Lyme support group in her home for Lyme patients and their family and friends. She is a member of ILADS, the International Lyme and Associated Diseases Society and on the board of the Empire State Lyme Disease Organization.

common activities, as well as attending concerts, football, and basketball games. Conan attended a Catholic high school and college while studying

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You can purchase Martha’s book on Amazon and read more about her inspiring and courageous story.

{ WELLNESS CONNECTS }

q salon

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{ FIRST FITNESS }

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{ FIRST FITNESS }

THE QEST4 BIOENERGETIC TESTING SYSTEM

BY MARTHA CONAN

The Qest4 evaluates your parameters of energetic health using information gathered through the hardware system via painless, non-intrusive handheld electrodes. The Qest4 is loaded with the 20 most commonly used bioenergetic tests. It also allows you to create a virtually unlimited number of specialized tests, including allergy sensitivity testing and food sensitivity. These tests are designed to gather the clinical information that is most valuable for your office and your clients. Just a few samples of the available energetic tests are shown below: • Acupuncture Evaluation • Allergy Sensitivity Profile • Autism Panel • Comprehensive Analysis • Constitutional Influence • Cranial Therapy • Degenerative Disturbance • Dental Resonance Profile • E.F.T. • Emotional Stressors • Environmental Sensitivity • Five Elements • Food Sensitivity List • GI Panel • Growth Factors • Homotoxicology Evaluation • Hormonal Profile • LED Detox • Metabolic-Digestive Profile • Miasm Influence • Neurotransmitter Profile • Non-Linear Tests • Nosode Susceptibility • Nutrient Deficiency • Nutritional Maintenance • Pharmaceutical Categories • PSE • Symptom-Emotion Correlation • TMJ Stressors • Toxic Stressors • Vertebral Profile FILTERS

Filters are subsets of the energetic tests above.

Filters are used to help gather and evaluate highly specific data within the scope of a specified category. Just a few sampleof the thousands available are shown below: • Allergens • Antibodies • Bach Flowers • Bacterial • Bio-Availability • Cell Permeability • Cell Salts • Chemical Toxins • Chromosomes • Colors • Diet • Drainage • Electrolytes • Foods • Fungi • Genome • Harmful Energies • Heavy Metals • Homeopathic Singles • Hormones • Lyme • Meridians • Mesenchyme • Miasms • Mycoplasma • Mycotoxins • Neurotransmitters • Oxidative Stress • Parasites • pH • Phenolics • Polarity • Prion • Protozoa • Sarcodes • Thyroid • Vaccinations • Virus

BioEnergetic Testing utilizes computerbased instruments to measure the subtle energies of the body through measurements at acupuncture control points. It is a completely non-invasive & highly accurate method of determining energy imbalances from toxic accumulations, deficiencies or organ meridian fatigue or inflammation.

Toxic Accumulations identified are numerous and can include things such as heavy metals, bacteria, chemicals, viruses, molds, food additives, pesticides & insecticides.

Deficiencies identified can include critical elements such as vitamins, minerals, enzymes (metabolic & digestive), essential fatty acids, amino acids & hormones.

An Overview is obtained by using an computer-based harness system which measures electrical conductivity at a cellular level providing an intermediate functional overview of each individual’s system. This information is then used to begin the second step of the BioEnergetic Testing process, identifying specific regimens that can restore balance & optimize health & wellness.

Specific Correcting Regimens are then determined using a single-channel point tester that will allow each person’s system to reach optimal health & homeostasis using extensive computerized software programs that identify a combination of homeopathic remedies, herbs, nutritional supplements & other modalities needed. http://www.bioenergetic-health.com/ bioenergetic-testing.html

BIOENERGETIC TESTING

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{ HELPING PEOPLE HEAL }

CANINE VISITORS BRING SMILES TO RGH

BY BECKY PICONE

In June of 2010, Rochester General Hospital welcomed its first non-human volunteer to its ranks! Since then, therapy dogs have been bringing joy and comfort to patients, guests, and employees of Rochester General Hospital. They make their rounds in twenty different areas of the hospital- mingling with visitors in waiting areas, the medical library, the Resident’s lounge, and several non-ICU patient floors.

Volunteer and Guest Services manager, Doug Della Pietra, is always looking for ways improve the hospital experience for those who spend time there. Motivated by the therapeutic benefits of pet interaction, he worked with the hospital leadership for over a year to research canine visitation programs in other hospitals. Armed with this carefully collected information, he was ready to develop a comprehensive program with a policy and training system specifically tailored to Rochester General Hospital.

Another vital step in making this a reality was cultivating a relationship with Therapy Dogs International (TDI) through their liaison, Christine Colucci. Chris and Cori, her Portugese Podengo, became a therapy volunteer team in 2009, and worked closely with Doug to establish the program at RGH. How Does it Help?

A few minutes with a furry visitor often results in smiles and giggling, but there are many significant health benefits that aren’t quite so obvious. According to the Therapy Dog International website, 382

petting or holding an animal can lower blood pressure, reduce stress, and improve feelings of loneliness and depression. The Mayo Clinic (mayoclinic.org) goes further to say that interactions with dogs or other animals can help people recover from or better cope with health problems such as heart disease, cancer, pain, mental health disorders, and fatigue.

nuzzled the patient’s arm. The patient sat up and began petting ‘LouTu’. After a short time, the patient began speaking in a soft voice to him. Suddenly the visitor exclaimed that these were the first words she had spoken since her stroke. This was a dramatic demonstration of the positive effect on the health and well-being of a patient by a therapy dog.”

One of the patients at Rochester General described the benefit in this way: “The

Follow a canine visitor (and their human volunteer!) down a hospital corridor and you will see that you are not able to get to your destination very quickly.

Almost everyone they pass will want to say hello, give a quick pat, or at least slow their pace to enjoy looking for another second or two.

It is not uncommon to see a patient who is being transported to or from surgery spot a canine visitor and ask to stop so that they can reach out and immerse their hand in a fluff of fur.

Likewise, you may see a doctor that has just had back to back surgeries ask to hold a small furry friend for an extra minute. These seemingly small interactions can bring visible relief and calmness to a person, a quick and welcome escape, or recharge, after what has likely been a stressful situation.

dogs are very comforting and seemed to lower my stress level. Having my husband have to go through three surgeries in one week – the dogs didn’t ask questions; they just offered their friendship.”

Volunteers have also witnessed “miraculous” and healing moments. For example, one volunteer described a time they went into the room of a patient who had had a recent stroke. They said that their dog “immediately went to the bedside and

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Chris has had a lot of positive feedback since being involved with the program.

She has observed that animal-lovers form immediate connections, and chatting about pets can often lead to further conversations about other things going on in their lives.

“Patients share their stories of past and present pets all the time.”

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{ HELPING { SHIFT+CONTROL PEOPLE HEAL } } “I volunteer because I enjoy the interaction with people we visit with. You feel like you are doing something important with your life.” -Joyce and ‘Maggie’

“You’ll find a great environment here at RGH. There are lots of smiles and a LOT of good people. Besides, giving back is nice, being able to put smiles on people’s faces is the real treat!” -Chip and ‘Lovey’ What is Involved in Becoming a Therapy Dog Team?

There are currently ten Canine Visitation teams spreading joy within the hospital walls. According to Chris, the teams are ‘TDI Associates’, and they are all certified to visit in communities where therapy dogs are needed. She stresses that a therapy dog is born, not made. Although there is training involved, all good therapy dogs share the same inherent temperament- they are friendly and outgoing. Chris got ‘Cori’ at 4 months old, and she just knew that 384

they would enjoy volunteering together.

“I could see that she loves people, not just likes them. Her tail starts wagging as soon as she sees someone, even if that person is just walking on the street, totally unaware of her.”

maintain it.

Besides having the right temperament, a dog must be at least one year old to start the process. It typically takes several months of basic and intermediate behavior classes before a dog can be certified. When a team is ready for the next step, TDI will perform an ‘Evaluation of Suitability’ to test the dog’s personality. This will be followed by certification testing, which Chris explains involves thirteen behaviors needed to work in various settings. Once a team passes certification, the dog’s health records are required to be up-to-date annually to

All Rochester General Hospital volunteers enjoy benefits that go beyond the personal gratification that comes with making a difference. These perks include privileges at the Riedman Wellness Center, a food stipend each shift for one of the food areas in the hospital, and free parking!

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“I volunteer because I enjoy the interaction with people we visit with. You feel like you are doing something important with your life.” -Joyce and ‘Maggie’

If you and your dog are interested in joining our Canine Visitation team, please contact us at 585-922-4328 or douglas.DellaPietra@ RochesterRegional.org, or visit our website: rochesterregional.org/makeadifference.

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SAFETY WHILE USING CAR SERVICES

BY CHERYL KATES

Technology saves the day. In the past year, many new services popped up to make our lives easier. No time for grocery shopping?

Put in your order, get curbside delivery or someone will deliver your stuff. Want to order food, but your favorite restaurant doesn’t deliver? No worries, there’s services for that too! The world is at our fingers. One of the largest new services are ride providers, Uber and Lyft. Pre-paid, fill out info on an app, and bingo your ride awaits you. No more hailing a cab. With this added convenience, there comes some safety concerns, as the cars aren’t yellow and can’t be easily identified as car services. As women, we must use common sense and still apply caution of whether our safety is at risk, at all times, in all circumstances.

We often travel alone when using this kind of service. If it feels wrong, do not go!

A young college student was recently murdered, after she entered a car, she thought was her Uber driver (1). There are also additional stories of women being assaulted (1). It certainly warrants caution. Adeel Hassan of the NY Times, recently wrote an article detailing some tips for safety (1) Adeel warns to: “Ask the driver what your name is?” (1). And to “Check the make, model, and license plates before getting in the car (1).

For those who have not used the services, on the face it appears to be safer than hailing a cab. The Uber ap sends you a picture of the driver. The make and model of the car and license plate is provided. The ap tracks the 386

driver coming to your location and provides an arrival time. The ap tracks your route when you are in the car as the Uber takes you to your destination and provides the time you will reach the destination. These horror stories indicate this is not enough.

Rochester Woman Online took to social media to get some societal input on experiences when using these services.

• Rochester, NY Uber driver, Natalie Louis

shares “There is a ride share option, where rides can be shared with family and friends”.

(So, travel in packs, like your momma told you!!)

• Rochester, NY Uber driver Keith Saturn shares: “If anything doesn’t seem right, don’t get in. Sit where you and the driver can see each other clearly. Most drivers prefer passengers sit in the back. Sit on the passenger side. Have you phone on you and ready to use. At any point in the ride, you can decide the ride is over. If you feel uncomfortable or unsafe or threatened ask

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the driver to let you out. If you are on the expressway, the driver can get off at the next exit. Report any unsafe or inappropriate drivers”.

• Rochester, NY Uber passenger, Roy Tarbell shares: “Don’t get too drunk that you can’t see the UBER sticker on the car your getting into”. (A little sarcasm, I expect).

Additionally, social media reported this week an Uber driver dropped a passenger off at the airport and then returned and robbed the home. Again, use common sense when utilizing these ride services.

The driver is using their own car as the car service. It’s sad now this is even an issue…cost effectiveness vs. safety. We shouldn’t have to worry but we do.

The world we live in unfortunately, changed for the better through technology. Convenience is at an all time high. Any use of these enhanced services unfortunately, we still must weigh safety issues, common sense, and caution. It’s a sad development. It is not something as a civil society we like to acknowledge. As the old saying goes, it is much better to be “safe than sorry”. Exercise caution. Don’t let your guard down opening the door to become the next victim.

Resources Hassan, Adeel (2019). Taking Uber? Here Are Tips for Staying Safe, NY TIMES, Retrieved April 9, 2019 from https://www.nytimescom/2019/04/04/us/uber-safety-tips

{ SPECIAL FEATURE } “The world is at our fingers. One of the largest new services are ride providers, Uber and Lyft. Pre-paid, fill out info on an ap, and bingo your ride awaits you.”

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FIVE THINGS TO DO NOW

BY KATIE LAWLER-MELIA

To Grow Your Instagram So you started an Instagram page.

Maybe you were inspired by a seemingly overnight success, and were inspired to try your own thing. How hard can it be, right? So you take some photos, find some quotes you find inspiring, post a few times and wait for those followers to multiply. Weeks go by, and the only people following you are your great aunt Beatrice, a few accounts that scream SPAM, and your friend’s 12 year old.

You’re ready to call the whole thing off.

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It’s likely because the content is valuable to you. It may be that you find their feed to be visually appealing, or they offer information that will help better your life in some way. This is the purpose of Instagram: to entertain, and to help solve people’s problems. You need to offer valuable entertainment to your audience in order for them to want to stick around.

As much as you love pictures of your

What’s important to remember is that Instagram success doesn’t happen by chance, but by embracing the Golden Three: good content, consistency, and engagement. If you see a noncelebrity gain overnight success on Instagram, they’re likely using dishonest means to get there, usually resorting to pay for followers, amongst other questionable tactics. With all things, there is a time where hard work, and patience are required before you reap the rewards. Below I am sharing five ways to help gain the followers you hope to attract.

children, your lunch, or pets ask yourself why this would entice someone to follow you. Study the people you love- what content are they offering? Their pictures have good lighting and composition.

Now notice their feed, most people have some sort of pattern that draws the eye in.

CONTENT IS KEY Why do you follow the people you do?

On top of that, the current Instagram algorithm pushes people to the top of

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feeds based on the level of engagement their accounts get. When you post it can be helpful to have a “call to action”, ask for feedback that will encourage your followers to leave a comment below.

PLAN AHEAD There are specific times when it is best to post. Finding out this optimal time for your genre, location, or brand are important. Consistency makes all the difference! You should be posting at least 4 times per week. Beyond that plan what you will post each day, have a theme for each day of the week to post.

If you are an artisan, you could have a schedule a s f o l l ow s : Mondayprocess, Tuesday-behind the scenes, Wednesdayhelpful hint, Thursday- shop updates, Friday- quote that inspires you. If you have a plan it will be easier to carry out, treat it like part of your job. You have to show up in order to be seen.

ENGAGE WITH YOUR DREAM CLIENTS Spend time daily commenting, following, and liking post from those people that you hope would be followers. It doesn’t

{ GETTING SOCIAL WITH KATIE } “What’s important to remember is that Instagram success doesn’t happen by chance, but by embracing the Golden Three: good content, consistency, and engagement.”

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{ TALKING SOCIAL } { GETTING SOCIAL WITH KATIE } “Maybe you were inspired by a seemingly overnight success, and were inspired to try your own thing. How hard can it be, right?”

you hope would be followers. It doesn’t always work, but waiting for people to find you will prove to be fruitless.

People won’t know about you unless you properly introduce yourself. Do this only when you’ve created a cohesive theme to your page, with consistent posting, and quality content.

On top of that, the current Instagram algorithm pushes people to the top of feeds based on the level of engagement their accounts get. When you post it can be helpful to have a “call to action”, ask for feedback that will encourage your followers to leave a comment below.

These comments tell Instagram that people enjoy your content, and they push your posts further up in the feed, which makes you easier to find.

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AVOID DISHONEST MEANS FOR BUILDING A FOLLOWING There are countless companies that will promise you followers, likes, and comments. This may feel like the easy way, but in the long run you will pay for it in a negative way. I can always tell when someone has used these means by the amount of followers the boast, yet they have few likes and no comments.

Instagram is sophisticated enough that they can figure this out, and your account will be shadow banned. This is the process where your posts get buried, and will be very difficult to find. As the old saying goes, “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.”

BE PATIENT, BE CONSISTENT While it can be hard to put effort into something without any guarantee of

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it being successful, every person on Instagram that’s doing well got there through careful planning, hard work and consistency. Most people weed out their accounts with regularity, and if you are posting infrequently, you are more likely to get unfollowed. I challenge you to 90 days of posting on a schedule, with a cohesive plan put into place.

At the end of the day, if you don’t feel you have the time to do this, you can delegate it, and hire a Social Media Manager to do it for you. I’m offering all Rochester Woman Online readers a summer special- sign up with me in July for Instagram plus Facebook for only $300. A $300 savings!

SPECIAL FEATURE

A HARLEM DAY TRIP WITH DIVA #1 AND SFTS COLUMNIST REGINA SMITH

SPECIAL

ALL NEW

SECTION

FEATURING

TRACY SIMONE DR. KIKI MICHELLE MR. CARLYLE SHEILA YOUNG LATIFFANY ANDERSON CHASTITY SINGLETARY REGINA SMITH GARY ARIEL WASHINGTON YOLANDA SMILEZ JESSICA LEWIS SIERRA MONAE AYANNA JACKSON AND MORE...

Tracy Simone

WANTING & DOING IT ALL!

{ A LOOK AT OUR TEAM }

PUBLISHER EDITOR-IN CHIEF CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN

Kelly Breuer Cheryl Kates-Benman Kelly Breuer

PHOTOGRAPHY

Christopher “Goodknews” Cardwell Charlene Mann

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Regina Smith Gary Ariel Washington Vialma Ramos Titiana Curry Chastity Singletary Jessica Lewis Yolanda Smilez Dr Kiki Michelle Mr Carlyle Williams Sheila Young Ayanna Jackson Latiffany Anderson Tarchia Powell Tracy Simone Sierra Monae Maisha Beard

ADVERTISING SALES

Kelly Breuer

SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR

The Next Design

WEB DESIGN & MANAGEMENT

The Next Design

ON OUR COVER

T T

Tracy Simone, is an amazing woman who is an IT professional, a model and an actress and the newest member of the SFTS team. Tracy was photographed at the studio of photographer Christopher “Goodknews” Cardwell for the cover of the latest edition of RWO’s “Something 4the Sista’s”. Make-up courtesy of Rosalind Matthew.

Rochester Woman ONLINE is the premier professional woman’s online publication in the greater Rochester area. Our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local area women. The electronic magazines are distributed freely through your favorite app store and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge. Please feel free to contact publisher Kelly Breuer at 585.727.9120 or you can email us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com. Download our current media kit at www. rochesterwomanonline.com.

The magazine is published 12 times a year by Rochester Woman ONLINE. Copyright © 2017 Rochester Woman ONLINE. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publisher. Rochester Woman ONLINE is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork. All such submissions become the property of Rochester Woman ONLINE and will not be returned.

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INTRODUCTION TO TRACY SIMONE

BY CHERYL L. KATES I PHOTOS BY CHRISTOPHER ”GOODKNEWS” CARDWELL

Women today often juggle multiple careers. We want it all and we are capable of doing just that. RWO is proud to announce the newest addition to our editorial team, Ms. Tracy Simone out of Albany, NY. Tracy is an amazing woman who is an IT professional, a model and an actress.

She shares that she basically fell into all of her careers. She grew up In Schenectady, NY, home of General Electric. Her mother placed Tracy and her brother in a program at General Electric founded to increase minority engineering graduates. At 17, like many others, Tracy was not sure what career path she wished to pursue. She enjoyed her high school computer classes, loved visiting different colleges and potential places of employment and GE was offering scholarships, so this assisted her on her way in exploring the famous question of “What do I want to be when I grow up”.

Tracy planned to start with something technical and then pursue “something fun” like music. Starting off at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in Troy, NY, Tracy jumpstarted her life enrolling in the computer science program. This was a huge step for Tracy and soon she

found herself evolving from a great high school student with a bright future to a struggling Compute Science major in an engineering school.

Tracy shares, “Going through RPI was one of the hardest but most rewarding things I ever did. It taught me to persevere and inspired me to compete professionally.

One day on campus, I was walking to the computer center (no PC’s, internet

or cell phones back then) and I was asked to join a project in production.

Another student and I were just walking by. After participating, I thought doing this was fun. The following semester the same production team needed subjects for a training film about fire safety. It was fascinating watching what they were doing and how they made fake films appear like a real fire. I began wanting to know more and this led me to look at casting for commercials.

I assumed models were in the commercials, so I signed up for a local modeling school’s program (The Barbara Thomas Agency). Acting was another thing I fell into, as the agency sent me out on some calls requiring speaking on camera. I hated it at first because I found it stressful to remember the lines, pretending that I wasn’t speaking from memory, staying in the shot and listening to the director all at one time. I ended up doing quite a few industrial projects, mostly employee training films for General Electric, New York State, Price Chopper and others. I did so many of these projects and commercials, I became eligible to join the Screen Actors Guild. I am working in a combination of IT, modeling and acting ever since”.

Tracy enjoys the diversity in her career and never knowing what is next. Modeling and acting are the extreme opposites of a corporate job. In her day job, she works with the same people doing

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{{ COVER COVER STORY STORY STORY }} { COVER } “ I strive to do the best I can in everything I do. I try to have fun, but I always take all of my assignments seriously. I believe I was given one chance to be me, so I go for everything I want.”

similar things. In modeling and acting, Tracy loves that she travels all over. She loves meeting new people. Every project she is a part of is unique in nature. She never has any idea of what she will be asked to do or wear. Some days there are celebrities, some days are very physical, some days are for beauty, some days are to sell cars, etc.

was very special to her.

Sadly, Tracy as a woman of color in the industry, was faced with discrimination.

Tracy says, “I was paid to roller skate, ski, ride a roller coaster, play a nurse, be an attorney, wear wings to events, you name it. I never know where I will appear. I was placed on billboards, greeting cards, magazines, television, the movies, runways, web ads and my voice was used in voice overs. It is all work, but it is interesting and fun” If that’s not amazing in itself, Tracy is also a single mom. She took several years off from modeling to concentrate on raising her daughter. Tracy indicates her daughter, now 18, is the most significant person in her life. She is all grown up and is scheduled to graduate from high school this year. Tracy says having her daughter inspires her to do some of the things she is doing. She describes her as talented, beautiful, hardworking and attributes her daughter has probably taught her more than she has taught her. Tracy shares that she lost her mom at the age of 26, so having her daughter and becoming a mom herself 402

It made her stronger.

She shares by saying, “There were definitely instances of discrimination in modeling. A few incidents come to mind.

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I remember being selected on several occasions to be “the One” wearing the special gown or the signature piece of the show. Other models or event organizers made racist comments.

This never stopped me. If anything, these things just made me work harder. I never felt I had anything to prove to anyone and I knew I deserved the opportunities I found myself participating in. I felt it was unfortunate, other people didn’t like the fact the black girl was the chosen one.

I also experienced racism in my corporate position. I was given a promotion and was chosen to head up a major project.

Someone didn’t like that I was placed in the high visibility position and had the nerve to ask me how I got my job. Silly man. I broke it down to him in a way I know will make him think twice about doing that to anyone again. I work hard for everything I achieve.

Another example was when entering a modeling contest to represent a chain of stores in New England. I won! I interacted with another model who competed later at a bridal shoot. When I shared my news, her reply was, “I think having a black spokesmodel is limiting”.

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“There were definitely instances of discrimination in modeling. A few incidents come to mind. I remember being selected on several occasions to be “the One” wearing the special gown or the signature piece of the show. Other models or event organizers made racist comments. This never stopped me. If anything, these things just made me work harder.”

{ {{SHIFT+CONTROL COVER COVER STORY STORY STORY }} } { COVER } “Tracy is an inspiring woman who is also concerned with issues that impact young people today and their futures. How people are treated in this world is eye-opening.

Unfortunately, many people chose to be followers as opposed to leaders.”

I never let these things bother me. I strive to do the best I can in everything I do. I try to have fun, but I always take all of my assignments seriously. I believe I was given one chance to be me, so I go for everything I want. If things don’t work out, they were either not meant to be or I was supposed to be doing something else”.

Tracy hopes to seek out some larger speaking roles in the future in film. She also enjoys doing print work.

She tells us, “There is one final part of me that I haven’t let the cat out of the bag about, but you will see her within the next five years”.

Tracy is an inspiring woman who is also concerned with issues that impact young people today and their futures.

How people are treated in this world is eye-opening. Unfortunately, many people chose to be followers as opposed to leaders.

Tracy shares, “Many people follow the crowd or the lead of those who control the media, the entertainment industry, the courts, the government, etc. I am very concerned with where we are going as a society, especially here in the states. Many people allow themselves to be mistreated and are afraid to take a stand for something.

This is a problem. We take so much for granted because we have so much.

There are a lot of people who do not have basic necessities and not enough of us do anything to help. We must realize we are a part of a whole and we can each contribute something.

Everyone should enjoy access to a good education, food, water, love, peace and fair treatment. We get too caught up in 406

material things. Life is truly what we make it. We need to make it better for ourselves and those around us.

I think our biggest issue is misinformation. People are programmed to believe things which keep those who are in power in their positions and to buy what they want us to buy. People are trained to believe what they see and hear and many fail to think for themselves. I think if more people were more engaged in what is actually going on around them, rather than being passive and accepting what is presented to them, we would all be better off.

For instance, people used to get upset when they saw negative images or heard bad lyrics. Now, people buy into the negative images of others that are projected. Too many people are only concerned with things that directly impact them personally and they discount others, based on the misinformation they are fed. A lot of them buy into stereotypes they saw or heard, and it can become dangerous.

Some don’t even like themselves because of what they are fed”.

In closing, Tracy tells RWO readers: “You MUST pursue your dreams. Do not let anyone or anything stop you from being the best you can be. You will never be your best unless you are somehow feeding your soul. If your dreams do not pay your bills, then pursue them on the side of a job with a steady paycheck. That provides you balance and relieves the stress of not having the financial means that you need to live comfortably. It is no fun being excellent at something, but hungry.

If you are doing what you love, even if it is just part time, opportunities

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will start to come for you. So will the haters, but they are just a sign that you are doing something right. Do not ever give up on your dream. Do not give up on yourself. Make sure only positive folks surround you and don’t forget to share your gifts with the rest of us!

You will never have peace, unless you do what is in your heart to do. You were not put on the planet to only be in a 9-to-5 situation. Things like age, race, gender and size do not actually matter for your dreams, especially now with the internet age. Decide what you want, start doing research on it, learn it inside and out and reach out to other people who share your interests.

I am 55-years-old and just got back into modeling and acting 2 years ago, when my daughter got a little bit older.

I jumped right back in where I left off and I was never as busy with these things as I am right now. Pursue your dreams! Now!” Be sure to tune in for Tracy’s monthly column as I am sure she will bring some diverse, interesting and important issues to the table in our RWO community.

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{ TRACY IS TALKING }

HAVING IT ALL

BY TRACY SIMONE

I am a single mother of one child, a daughter who is a senior in high school. She is preparing to graduate and then move on to college. Raising this one child was the most rewarding, challenging, expensive, n e r ve w r a c k i n g , amazing, frustrating, and beautiful thing I’ve done in my life. There are 6 of us living in my home: me, the dog, 2 cats, my daughter and her teenage attitude. That last one, the teenage attitude, isn’t a full-time resident, but she does come visit from time to time. That last one must go.

and acting. So, being a single mom, although financially challenging, was do-able. Somehow, you figure out how to come up with that $250 per week for summer camp, so you can make it

When it became clear I was embarking upon raising a kid by myself, I was determined to not skip a beat. I insisted I would be the best mom I could and also not let my child suffer because her father and I couldn’t quite get our act together as a team.

It was time to juggle, meet the challenges, but also not lose myself.

By most standards, I did well professionally.

I achieved a consistent career in IT as a programmer, systems manager, people manager, and right now, project manager for a financial institution. Through the years, I maintained careers in modeling 410

to work when school was out and to pay for the after school program at the YMCA, so, no worries until you get home from work. Ka ching, ka ching,

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ka ching. Painful in the pocket, but necessary, nonetheless.

I’ve gone through promotions and the big titles, too large of a staff or no staff, the money to go with it, the stress, and the literally making myself sick over it. I was once laid off after 10 years as a loyal employee...really mad about that one at first, just to realize later that it was probably one of the best things that ever happened to me professionally. I used to bring home the IBM manuals and study them so I wouldn’t be outdone by the guys at work with whom I worked side-byside. I once spent every single day during a vacation week being online with my job. This was supposed to be my time to spend with my daughter and (thank goodness) her friend who also tagged along. They went together to the beach, while I worked from the hotel room so we could meet an unreasonable deadline at work for a project. What?

I’m the Credit Angel (spokesmodel), damn it!

LOL How do I keep from going insane? In addition to working, paying the bills and being a mom (plus the dishes, laundry, yard work, that dreaded book bag with assignments for ME from the teachers),

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{ TRACY IS TALKING } “Through the years, I maintained careers in modeling and acting. So, being a single mom, although financially challenging, was do-able.”

to jump out there and try something new. I always encourage other people to do just that. Want to be a model?

Try it. Want to sing or dance? Write?

Play the piano? Go for it. Don’t let anyone make you believe you are not good enough, not young enough, pretty enough, smart enough, wealthy enough, the “wrong” ethnicity or gender, etc.

Everything you need is right within you and YOU choose.

The most successful people are the ones 412

who realize it is ok to let their inner light shine. They do not take no for an answer. They do not make excuses.

They roll up their sleeves and get to work. So, what if you are a woman, a single mom, a goofball, short, heavy, not the same ethnicity or gender as most of the people in your field? Whatever.

You CAN have it all…maybe not all at once, but I promise YOU CAN and as we move forward, we will show each other how.

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I am so very grateful to the people from Rochester Woman Online for the invitation to be a new member of their editorial team. What a fabulous opportunity to connect with other people, share information, and have some fun!

There is always something in my head that wants to come out. We have many things to talk about, so check back here next month.

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“Want to be a model? Try it. Want to sing or dance? Write? Play the piano? Go for it. Don’t let anyone make you believe you are not good enough, not young enough, pretty enough, smart enough, wealthy enough, the “wrong” ethnicity or gender, etc. Everything you need is right within you and YOU choose.“

PHOTO BY DAVID FORD

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{ IROCWOMEN }

CAMILLE MCINTYRE

BY MAISHA BEARD

The founder of “iRocWomen” called onehundred women and six-hundred showed up! Only a woman who possesses the passion and love for humanity could accomplish the bringing together of a diverse array of women to Rochester, New York’s Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial Park at Manhattan Square in April of 2016. This was the “BeComing” of Camille McIntyre.

Camille’s inspiration derived from the negative stereotypes in reality shows that capitalize by conveying undesirable depictions about women, their friendships, and relationships with other women. As Camille and I conversed during her lunch break, her selfless nature was easily detectable as she said, “I wondered what I could do to dismantle the negative stereotypes and the one-hundred women photoshoot popped into my spirit.

I knew that I wanted to empower women and this was an opportunity for me to introduce myself to the community—the beginning of my community becoming familiar with me, my passion, and my desire to show that we can look alike, be in one setting, empower one another, love one another, and cry together. We can be one solid unit. When women are in the room, there is not always controversy. A woman who attended was contemplating suicide, and she expressed that the photo shoot saved her life!” Women who were in attendance included Rochester’s Mayor Lovely A. Warren and Dr. Leslie MyersSmalls—Superintendent of The Brockport

Central School District.

I was captivated by Camille’s recollection of the photo-shoot. It was as if her heart was speaking, and every word was heartfelt and organic. Camille was authentic and honest about her fears. “I was afraid, and I did not know who would show up.

Hundreds of women filled the park, and even after the shoot, women came asking if it was over. I hired one photographer, and others joined in. It was powerful. It dismantled the stigma and stereotypes that are portrayed in the media and locally.

The Lord is so awesome! It was amazing!”

There was no stopping Camille!

In May 2019, Camille hosted the “Boss’d Up Brunch,” which was birthed by the observation of women in the community who offered insight about life, business, and purpose.

Camille revealed that her life had changed on that day due to the many topics discussed, including surviving cancer, overcoming depression, and embracing one’s self, regardless how society can impact a woman’s self-worth and selfesteem. The “Boss’d Up” panelists and keynote speaker, Tanishia A. Johnson, released their struggles on that day and left the audience feeling empowered, inspired, and motivated. As Camille and I continued our conversation, her eyes began to sparkle as she spoke about her mother.

Camille’s mother influenced her mindset. She vividly recalls living in the Van Auker housing complex for lowincome families. She softly spoke of her mother as a single mom with no high school diploma; nonetheless, Camille’s mother had a strong foundation and support system. “My mother always said that we might live in Van Auker, but we have an East Avenue mindset! My mother helped me understand that I could live better. She taught my brother and me that everything starts in our minds. We have what we say!”

Working with teens is what Camille

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{ IROCWOMEN } “This experience taught me how to be better as a young citizen, how to speak in public, and how to carry myself as a young black girl and a positive presence in my community.”

best. She started working at “Good Grades Pay” when she was fourteen years old and was placed under the supervision of the late great Willie Lightfoot Sr. and Michael Brooks. “This experience taught me how to be better as a young citizen, how to speak in public, and how to carry myself as a young black girl and a positive presence in my community. Certainly, this propelled Camille to pay her experiences forward by working as a Youth Navigator for The Future Ready Program, which is a program within Encompass Resources for Learning, Inc. Camille’s position focuses on preparing 418

students in grades 9-12 for success in college, career/trade, military, and becoming positive citizens of their communities. Camille’s passion and compassion for young people were adamantly spoken as she asserts, “Teens are always left out. They are the next generation of leaders who need to be cultivated, and I want to help them be and do their best.”

What’s next for the thirty-seven-year-old change agent? “A Huge Expo for women that encompass all things women! It will be like Boss’d Up, and the Six-Hundred

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Women Photo Shoot times a million!”

Camille continues to speak with the mindset of manifesting her dreams.

I look forward to seeing what Camille does next. A change agent, women’s empowerment activist, and a youth navigator—she is Camille McIntyre, and she is walking in her soul’s purpose while joyfully cultivating her greatest assignment as the mother of her beautiful daughter, Kennedy.

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{ INTRODUCING }

MAISHA BEARD Something 4 the Sista’s welcomes Maisha Beard to our writing team! Owner of the “Mai’ Musings” brand, Maisha is a creative writer, poet, published author, and inspirational speaker. Her poems and stories are published in the books, A Journey of a Teenage Mother and See No Evil, where Maisha reveals her struggles and triumphs as a teen mom as well as one who grew up in a household fueled with domestic violence. Maisha uses her experiences as inspiration for speaking and empowering women.

Maisha earned a scholarship for English Creative Writing at The College at Brockport and currently serves the Educational Opportunity Program as a supplemental English Instructor and Teaching Assistant. As an undergraduate, her poetry was published in Jigsaw— The College Brockport’s Literary Magazine.

With only one year left in her master’s program, Maisha building her Mai’ Musings brand and enchanting audiences with her warmth, empathy, compassion, and loving energy. She uses her gifts of poetry and inspirational speaking as a way of reaching those who may share similar life experiences and obstacles. Her goals include becoming a college professor, writing for major 420

publications, and speaking and inspiring audiences around the world.

As a Rochester native, most know Maisha as one of the top hairstylists in Rochester,

New York. A licensed cosmetologist of 27 years, Maisha Beard, formerly known for the Exclusively Maisha Hair Studio, has become a well-respected entrepreneur within the Rochester community and has coached and trained other cosmetologists

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so that they may be successful stylists and business professionals in the beauty business industry.

Some of Maisha’s volunteerism includes the City of Rochester Mayor Lovely Ann Warren’s “Inspiring Women” event where she mentors young women between the ages of 16-21 on career choice, goal attainment, and intrinsic motivation. She was also a panelist for the “Cool Women-Hot Jobs” mentoring program at the Young Women and Girls Charter School, and the Genesee Valley Women’s Foundation, “Voices of Experience” after-school educational program, as well as an inspirational speaker for REOC’s Cosmetology department.

A mother of four, Maisha Beard is passionate about motherhood, community, and using her gifts to impact the lives of others positively.

Her favorite quote is by poet Audre Lorde. “If I didn’t define myself for myself, I’d be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.”

Look for Maisha’s Mai’Musings column in our next issue!

Mai’ Musings Symposium MAISHA BEARD/MAI’ MUSINGS SYMPOSIUM IS FOR LADIES WHERE I WILL DISCUSS PERSPECTIVES INCLUDING: * How to heal through heartbreak; * Love vs Attachment--know the difference; * Radical Self Love & Care; * Why we stay in toxic relationships and how to let go with love; SPECIAL GUEST SPEAKERS and much more! The registration consists of a love offering starting at $5-$20. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/mai-musingssymposium-tickets-63029829918

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KIDS ARE SEEN AND NOT HEARD

BY CHASTITY SINGLETARY

BREAKING STIGMAS, ONE VOICE AT A TIME

“You’re not going to write anything that is going to harm the family, are you?”

A family member called me and said just weeks before my publishing of my first book.

My mind was racing as I started to breath heavy. I was in a deep thought. I questioned myself many times before publishing my book. Am I doing the right thing? Should I still publish my book? Will people be mad at me for what I am about to reveal? The answer is YES. Yes, there will be people that will be mad and upset with the content you are writing about, and Yes, many will be offended. But, you must ask yourself the Why. Why are they feeling offended from the content you have written?

There are so many reasons people feel guilt, shame and worry. So many people do not want to face the secrets, shame and guilt that they have had to endure in their own lives, none the less in yours. I felt like that same child again that felt shame and guilt. That same child that couldn’t speak up.

While attending the Black Women’s Book fair in March 2019, I spoke with someone regarding the concern certain members in my family had in regarding my first book. These things bothered me, and I had no intent to cause harm in anyone’s life. I needed guidance and she’d given it. She looked at me and said, “You’re not writing a book to harm your family,

you’re writing a book to heal them.” In that moment, I knew what I had to do. It was confirmed in my spirit that I needed to write this book. I needed to let my community and the world know that SPEAKING UP is the first step in the healing process. It was a no brainer that the message of my

book was more important than the fear of rejection I would feel from others that simply just didn’t understand. In my book “Silence the Tears, Unspeakable Acts Despair Redemption and Forgiveness,” I was able to be courageous and explore

the life outside of my own story, but in the eyes of two fictitious characters. I was strong and brave enough to take a stand and publish. This book speaks about the Sexual, Mental and Physical abuse that are within families.

We as a community, as people of the free world must speak up for our youths! The more we hide the hurt, pain and abuse within the lives of our children, the more they become hindered. Our youths become adults with many ailments that are irreversible if not treated. So many people suffer from Trust Issues, Anger, Relationship Issues and many more due to the trauma they have endured in their lives. My book has a strong message. Breaking the stigma that children are seen and not heard. This book depicts the life of two children facing trauma within their family. Loving your family members and expecting to have trust, loyalty and safety.

When these boundaries are not enforced and the love and safety you expect to receive are broken, it causes confusion within the children. Not wanting to tell to get someone in trouble, to believing what the perpetrator says, when they say someone else would be responsible for the crime if the victim tells. Sometimes, the Perpetrator may even threaten the victim to keep them quiet. Yet, still in all the victim is torn because of the relation of blood.

Being a family member, the victim may

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{ IN HER OWN WORDS } “You’re not writing a book to harm your family, you’re writing a book to heal them.”

not tell even through the physical and sexual abuse. The importance of having a support system is very dire. Children are like sponges when it comes to learning and picking up on behavior. If telling someone you trust within the family about a certain abuse that has transpired, yet, you do not get the proper response such as support, counseling and medical attention. This makes the child feel very alone, isolated and as if the abuse that has been happening to them is all their fault.

The most important message within my 426

book “Silence the Tears, Unspeakable Acts Despair Redemption and Forgiveness” is to stand up against the abuse and secrets that are within families. The more we speak up and stand up for what is right, the secrets lose their power. Our children should not have to defend themselves from such abuse. Educating our families and community about the abuse that can happen in families is the first step. Creating a knowledgeable base of information that is easily assessible for our community. Our children deserve that. Our community deserves to know the truth and to have an

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option to find ways to prevent such abuse.

After such a trauma, it’s very important to be Proactive instead of Reactive. When someone is Reactive and not Proactive, the child suffers.

This book speaks about creating a “Survival Pact” which is detrimental in the time of going through confusion and despair.

Keep our children safe, stand up for what’s right. BREAK stigmas that hinder our youths. They are our future, heal them and expose secrets, one voice at a time.

They deserve it!

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{ I LOVE SMILEZ }

YOU WILL SMILE AGAIN

BY YOLANDA SMILEZ PHOTOS BY CHRISTOPHER “GOODKNEWS” CARDWELL

Welcome to the “I Love Smilez” column.

This column’s purpose is to make you smile by the end of every read. My hope is here, you will find you can smile, even when things in your life are not going right. Keep this in mind, “No matter what you’ve been or are going through, you will smile again”. Have you ever met that person, friend, family member, co-worker, or maybe even one of your kids, who is always playing the victim to cover their own issues or discrete?

she still want it? The young lady said,” yes”. The young lady understood the value of what the pastor was offering her even after watching all it had been through. See, some of us have been balled up, stomped on, treated bad, thrown down, talked about, and belittled, but

We have to stop allowing people to come in our life treating us less than we are worth or allowing them to play on our intelligence, as if we don’t know and understand how dope we are! No more sleepless nights or going to the drawing board trying to fix brokenness around you.

Educate yourself on you and what you’re worth, find your smile again!

You find yourself running to save them every time they scream for help! Sooner or later, you find yourself burnt out and you just want to put up your cape. This year, there were so many Marvel movies at the theater. The writers seemed to not focus on one superhero, to make them the hero, but had them all come together. Yes, they are strong alone, but greater together.

The writer understood the superheroes strength and what they were worth. You have to write your part in your movie.

Your victims keep staging and know your worth!

I watched a video of Pastor.

He asked a young lady, did she want the twenty dollars that was in his hand. The young lady said,” Yes”. He then threw it on the floor. He repeated the question,” Do you want this twenty dollars?” The young lady replied,” yes”. The Pastor then picked the twenty dollars up. He balled it, stomped on it more than ten times, picked it up and asked her did

give your user a cliff hanger or energy that simply says,” to be continued”.

Take time to write your energy back into yourself, focus on what matters, to make you greater. Diamonds have to be taken off and polished so they can shine properly. It’s ok to take a break so you can be polished .

no matter what we’ve been through we never lost our value.

It’s the season of saying enough is enough. I can’t run saving everyone who screams help or plays victim to stroke their emotion. Find your strength to

Hang your cape up and stop running to save the victim in your life. That victim that only draws from you but once they heal, they don’t know how to pour back into you. You know who I am talking about. Just think about it and it will become clear. We can’t keep overdrawing our inner soul bank account.

The overdraft fees add up and most of all are very annoying. When we pay out more for something then we receive, it’s not even worth it. Balance your soul bank account properly, so you can have enough savings to invest in the most important thing, you.

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{ I LOVE SMILEZ } “We have to stop allowing people to come in our life treating us less than we are worth or allowing them to play on our intelligence, as if we don’t know and understand how dope we are! ”

People are afraid to invest in themselves.

They fear being seen as selfish. It is not selfish it is self-preservation. Learn how to say no and mean it. Don’t allow people to guilt or manipulate you into doing what they want. The first lesson to learn is that we all have choices. The first choice is how you allow yourself to respond to a situation. When you learn how to draw barriers to what you will 430

accept and then apply consequences to others, decisions you draw the line for your sanity. You control how you react. You can get upset or turn things into a positive. Let others realize their choices and consequences dictate how you interact with them. If you don’t agree with the scenario, say no and walk away. It is very simple. When you learn how to control your reactions you will

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realize you are the one in control. At this point, you will find your smile and you will not lose it again because you know you’re worth! “No matter what you been or going through, you will smile again”.

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{ ICONIC MOMENT }

#BLACKGIRLMAGIC

BY GARY ARIEL WASHINGTON

ADVANCEMENT OF THE BLACK BEAUTY QUEEN EXPERIENCE Having the opportunity on a monthly basis to report as your “pageant guru” has been a blessing. I have elevated myself personally to newer perspectives as a professional along with advancing my own competitive bravado. I often times believed that pageantry was my chosen sport mainly for the challenge of proving my worth. Pageantry allows me to feel empowered, valuable, and essentially at my best. I often forget that we each hold the power to break down barriers while writing new narratives that hopefully will groom the change we hope to see in the universe. As a proud African-American/Black male who has pushed through doors as a competitor, coach, and writer it has become a responsibility to make as much advancement continually possible for the future of male pageantry.

Meanwhile, on the ladies side 2019 has proved to become a year for the record books. In a historic feat never before achieved until now five major national/international crowns are currently held by black women.

These five ICONIC MOMENTS has separately and collectively changed the very landscape of how we will now view, discuss, & patron pageantry. What makes this such an ICONIC MOMENT is the amount of validation from a moment like this. The conversation has really grew into something and this article will explore the history behind and leading into that change we know as #BLACKGIRLMAGIC. From the start of when pageantry became a

nationally recognized event, all organizations expressed the same racial discrimination and opinion towards contestants of Black race. The ideology at that time spoke to a not so equal or accepting country which encouraged a mindset that didn’t accept women of color as viable contestants. We as a country didn’t see any shifts until we moved into the 1960s which was the rise of the civil rights movement, LGBTQIA push for equality, and the start of second

wave feminism. However, in the world of pageantry we were blessed sooner with seeing women of color getting the opportunities to become equal thankfully to the Miss America Organization.

Founded on September 08, 1921 at Boardwalk hall in Atlantic City, NJ the Miss America Organization began accepting women of color as competitors in the 1940s.

It did take until 1970 with Cheryl Browne

of Iowa to became the first Black woman ever crowned to represent her state for the title of Miss America. Subsequently, Cheryl didn’t win the 1970 crown or even place in the final but it was the start of greatness.

Fast forward to September 17, 1983 and the breakthrough moment which happened for Vanessa L. Williams of New York as she became the 1st Black Miss America winner.

What was so special about this particular year also was that four other women of color competed, which was a record at that point. Vanessa’s win revolutionized pageantry, it started breaking the ceiling down which was placed so tight on the Black community. Seeing this win was beyond pageantry, but more of the feeling that society is changing. Unfortunately, Vanessa was forced to resign exactly one month before her step down.

Due to leaked private photos that were released without her consent, she was forced to step down and relinquish her title. Vanessa was and is still considered Miss America in the history books but ultimately her successor from New Jersey, Suzette Charles finished the reign. This crowning is significant because it is the first resignation in the organization’s history. Its the second time a Black woman was crowned and for Suzette also holds the record for the shortest reign ever at just seven weeks. We then saw at Miss America the first official back to back crowning of Black women in 1990 and 1991 with Debbye Turner of Missouri crowning Marjorie Vincent of Illinois.

Another back to back wouldn’t happen again until 2003 and 2004 when Erika Harold of Illinois crowned Ericka Dunlap of Florida. In total, 9 Black winners have been crowned which include our reigning

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{ AN ICONIC MOMENT } “Pageantry allows me to feel empowered, valuable, and essentially at my best. I often forget that we each hold the power to break down barriers while writing new narratives that hopefully will groom the change we hope to see in the universe.”

Miss America, Nia Imani Franklin of New York. Nia winning the crown also gained media attention for0 earning New York a record seventh crown-The most for any state, she is the 1st Miss America to reign under the New 2.0 initiative, and is the 1st Miss America winner to never compete in the swimsuit competition.

The Miss USA pageant was founded in 1952 and thanks to the power of research it appeared that women of color were eligible to compete without restrictions. Advancement started to appear coincidently in 1990 when Carole Gist of Michigan earned the honor of being crowned the first Black Miss USA. This win also equaled the same enormous amount of national attention that Vanessa L Williams had received seven years prior. In our country we saw for the 1st time Miss America and USA reigning together proudly.

Moving forward we witnessed more African-American women over time taking the crown of Miss USA. Most notable winners include “Real Housewives of Atlanta” star Kenya Summer Moore of Detroit who earned the crown in 1993. Then in 1995, Chelsi Smith of Texas not only earned the Miss USA crown but also became the 1st Black Miss Universe winner and 2nd women of color behind Janelle Commissiong of Trinidad & Tobago who won in 1977. Chelsi, unfortunately passed away on September 08, 2018 in Mifflin, PA to complications of liver cancer. As the new millennium approached, another winner emerged in Lynette Cole of Tennessee who became the winner for 2000. Lynette is the 2nd of 3 African-American women to make the top five at Miss Universe. In 2007 & 438

2008 we witnessed the first back to back crowning of African-American women in Rachel Smith of Tennessee and Crystle Stewart of Texas. Rachel and Crystle did extremely well at Miss Universe with Rachel placing 4th Runner and Crystle making the top 10 respectively. Subsequently this feat wouldn’t happen again until 2016 and 2017 when Deshauna Barber crowned

Kará McCullough. This honor was the 1st back to back win for the District of Columbia and 1st time crowning of an active military soldier in Deshauna & nuclear chemist in Kará. In total we have achieved an astonishing 11 Black Miss USA winners including Cheslie Kryst of North Carolina winning the crown on May 2nd, 2019. Cheslie becomes the 3rd winner from North Carolina and the 1st ever lawyer to become Miss USA which proves no matter the career pageantry can

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actually happen.

The Miss Teen USA pageant was founded on August 30th, 1983 in a need to cultivate pageant interest amongst the teenage population. Thankfully, it took until 1991 for the 1st Black winner to be crowned was Janelle Bishop of New Hampshire who is also the 1st winner for the state.

Upon Janelle’s victory we then witnessed six more Black Teen winners. Most notably in 2012, Logan West of Connecticut became the 1st winner to hold titles between Miss Teen USA & Miss America Outstanding Teen. While the 1st and only back to back crowing happened recently with Hailey Colburn of Kansas winning in 2018 and crowing our reigning Miss Teen USA 2019 Kaliegh Garris of Connecticut who was crowned May 1, 2019.

Now your thinking and reading this thinking, can the three Black queens reigning together be enough? Absolutely not because advancement never fades but continues to cultivate more success. With that said on July 8, 2018 just months prior to the crowning of Nia Franklin, we witnessed Andromeda Peters of Virginia become the winner of Miss Miss United States. Founded in 1986, the Miss United States pageant was at one point the official preliminary for the Miss Earth organization. Now as a stand alone up and coming national title to have 3 Black winners despite having very little media coverage is an amazing success. Last but not least, I wanted to include Jazel Barbie Royale of Florida. Jazel added to the history books on becoming the 1st Black woman to be crowned Miss International Queen. This

{ AN ICONIC MOMENT }

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{ AN ICONIC MOMENT} } { SHIFT+CONTROL “Moving forward we witnessed more African-American women over time taking the crown of Miss USA.”

is also relevant because Jazel represents the transgender community. Founded in 2004, The Miss International Queen organization was established with the intent to offer an international competition for transgender and transsexual women from around the world. Providing more opportunities for transgender/transsexuals to be accepted. This is also meant to create human rights awareness amongst all international communities while building friendships and exchanging of ideas among international lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender/transsexual communities.

This win was equally important to note because it once again validates that gender normalities are changing.

Our nation is really becoming forward thinking, more accepting of diversity, while taking the female empowerment experience to a new level of inclusivity. Even Democratic senator and 2020 presidential

contender Kamala Harris even noted on an Instagram post her excitement about the #BLACKGIRLMAGIC phenomenon.

She noted how exciting of a time were in currently with seeing viewing our young, successful Black women. These women are making their own path, on their own terms & merit unapologetically without resistance which is remarkable.

am grateful that the Black experience is finally validated and if your motivated like I am go out and make your own history.

If you the reader take anything away from reading this please hold this quote close to your heart. “ Trust the vision and hold the process!” -Tiffany Teixiera, former Miss Connecticut USA, Miss Connecticut Teen USA, & top 10 finalist at Miss USA 2015

In summary, #BLACKGIRLMAGIC is in full swing with no visible signs of slowing down. The only questions I can ask now are the following: What else will Blacks accomplish this year? What will happen in years to come? Will I become the 1st Black man crowned World Perfect Man 2019 to add on the history? As I stated in the start of this article, I am very proud to be a Black pageant professional. I am honored to stand alongside women of exceptional calibur, grace, humility and dedication. I

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MAMA GOTTA HAVE A LIFE TOO!

BY APRIL FRANKLIN

“Mama gotta have a life too” is what Juanita (A.J. Johnson’s character) told her son in the late John Singleton movie “Baby Boy.” Juanita was responding to the criticism of her dating life from her young son. I will get on that in a minute, but I want to address my life as a mother who happens to be single. A common belief is that as a parent your kids come before everything, even your own ambitions and desires. This is something that I have never subscribed to. I feel strongly that I am a woman first, before I am a mother. I still have my own dreams and aspirations that I am working hard every day to fulfill.

I am a pure believer that if I am not good, my kids are not good.

I will have nothing to pour in to my children if my cup is always empty. I don’t want people to think that I am out here abandoning my children to go out and party, because that will never be the case.

But I have chosen to build myself up in areas that serve me in order to be a better parent.

That being said, I battle the opinions of the person I co-parent with, and with my family about my decision to put myself before my kids. I had to evolve to this way of living for my own sanity, and it wasn’t easy convincing those around me. I remember allowing people to talk me into deferring my own dreams to work in media. My ex once told me “there is no money in that”, “So-n-So’s sister got that same degree, and she didn’t get a job... blah, blah, blah.” Looking back I see those comments as the red flags of our incompatibility. However, I felt discouraged and frustrated that no one believed in my talents. I understand now, that people will often project their own fears on you. You just have to be strong enough to block them out and believe in yourself.

When I was with my ex, I was the default person for our kids. My ex could go to work, and not have to worry about anything pertaining to the kids. He could come home and be dad, and go to work and be the boss. This was not the case for me. 7 years ago, when the relationship ended, I was still the default. I was the parent to do the weekly pickups and drop offs, dentist appointments etc. All while trying to get an education, working full-time at job that didn’t serve me creatively. It was exhausting, and I was not happy. I felt as though I was

kids “you can be anything you want to be”, if I never made an attempt to pursue my own dreams. I made it a point to build myself up by pursuing my own interests.

And through that process, I have built my self-esteem. Now it hasn’t been easy, my co-parent often complains about all of my activities, saying often that I need to spend more time with my kids. But that is only because I my choices to put my education and career first, has forced him to have to step up in areas where he used to rely on me. I believe we all have grown from this decision.

When it comes to being a Single Dope Black Chick that happens to a mother of two Dope Black Children. I am building my life as I see fit for me and my children, and encourage other dope single mothers to do the same. I haven’t shied away from dating, I was just focused on other areas. Lately I have become more open to bringing love in my life and have started to date more regularly. My almost 13 year old son doesn’t like it, but I tell him “mama gotta have a life too.”

failing at everything and that took a blow to myself esteem. Not to mention, that my ex from on the outside looked as if he was excelling. He even moved on (very quickly might I add) in the love department. There I was single and with 2 young children.

Dating was the last thing on my agenda.

For a while I thought, who would want me? I have these two children, and nothing else going on for myself. Society has many mothers believing that they can’t be anything but mothers.

It has always been important for me as a parent to set the example. I cannot tell my

April Franklin is self-proclaimed “older millennial” that doesn’t associate with younger millennials. She is a mother of two equally silly kids that rightfully take after their mother. After working nearly 13 years in healthcare, she got her B.S. in Journalism and made a career switch to media. She is now a reporter and local host of WXXI’s Weekend Edition in Rochester NY. April is also one third of the podcast “Kisses and Conversations,” that explore black men and relationships and a contributing writer for Single Dope Black Chick.

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{ THE BEAT }

YOU ARE NOT SUPERWOMAN

BY SIERRA MONAE I PHOTOS BY CHRISTOPHER CARDWELL

You are not superwoman and it’s ok...

In this months edition of Rochester Woman Online’s Something For The Sista’s, we are breaking the stigma of mental illness amongst African American women with me, Sierra Monaé Dunklin.

counseling and she would tell me “that’s ya white side” or “just pray”.

When that didn’t work I recall her saying, “we going to church”, as if that was a quick fix.

Although we came from a time and a generation where “therapy” or Mental Illness wasn’t normal, we now have to make it “normal” so that it can be properly treated.

We need to start allowing the people of our community to live their lives to the fullest.

Since this is Something 4 the Sistas I figured I’d be as transparent as possible about something in our community that is often overlooked or not often spoke about...Mental Illness.

Growing up in the African American community we are often told that our people don’t get depressed or have anxiety because it’s frowned upon.

We’re told to be strong, don’t cry, be independent, suck it up and something even more detrimental; get over it.

I remember times when I would tell my mom I wanted to go to

depression and anxiety since slavery and we always rely on religion as our healer. But is prayer a temporary fix? Some people may believe it is, and that’s ok but we need to give people an alternative as well.

Mental illness has no color, no gender and it doesn’t decipher who’s life to tear apart. It’s universal and as a community we have to change the dynamic instead of overlooking it and passing it off as being weak.

There is a need for more people to speak on the illness that is less talked about for fear of judgement. We need to be more encouraging to each other and accept the fact that It’s ok to not be ok.

Let’s be honest, throughout the black/minority community it has been taught to endure mental abuse

You are not superwoman, yet, you are human. If you or someone you know is suffering from Mental Illness.

Seek help. It’s ok, you are not alone.

Speak to someone.

Your mental health is a priority.

{ INTRODUCING }

TARCHIA POWELL Tarchia Powell has over 18 years of experience in Personal and Leadership Development. She is a leadership enthusiast with proven track record leading and encouraging others to achieve and deliver exceptional results. She carries a reputation for high energy, approachability and straight forward communication style.

Tarchia focuses on maximizing individual and team potential leveraging progressive leadership development principles.

Tarchia is recognized for her ability to uncover problems and facilitate solutions to complex life and business challenges.

Tarchia experiences include: Leadership Development, Organizational Development, Employee Engagement, Training, Coaching, Curriculum Development, Team Building, Personality and Behavioral Assessments, Competency Development, Workshop Facilitation, Project Management, and Strategic Planning.

Tarchia is currently employed as a Business Program Manager of Omnichannel Strategy for Paychex Inc. Her work history includes

organizations such as Verizon Wireless and Time Warner Cable - Fortune 500 Companies. She has held roles ranging from Operations Dispatcher to Associate Director of Customer Service. She is an entrepreneur:

Encourage Consulting Group is a personal and professional development company committed to inspire, equip, and empower individuals and organizations to capitalize on their potential through coaching/ mentoring, consulting, group discussions/master minds, and training/ workshops.

Encourage Consulting Group focuses on behavioral skills needed to be successful in life and in the workplace.

We are a relationshipfirst organization. It is through relationships and collaboration we can identify needs and deliver a plan.

Tarchia continues to fuel her passion of leadership through lifelong learning practices, such as higher education, training, networking and personal research.

Independent Beauty Consultant with Mary Kay and Co-Founder and President of Encourage Consulting Group.

coach.

Tarchia Powell lives in the city of Rochester with her husband (Tyrone Powell, Jr.) and their 5 children (Aveaun, Anaji, Zion, Thai, and Braylon). She is a believer, wife, mother, daughter, sister, leader, entrepreneur, speaker and

Tarchia’s personal life goal is to have a million people say and believe “#Encourage”

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{ ENCOURAGE }

HELLO SISTER!

BY TARCHIA POWELL

Got confidence? Confidence to walk in your purpose? Confidence to take rest when necessary? Confidence to build your business? Confidence to lead your families?

Confidence to go to a job every day and stand out and confidence to do so much more? You need confidence.

Finally, no clue; I was walking around without a plan. Dead sister walking.

Don’t just look good be good! It’s time for my sisters to live their best life not by just looking good, because we look good but by being good. Confidence has little to nothing to do with what you have (materially) or what you wear. That’s self-confidence. I am talking about the assured confidence that has everything to do with what you know and what you believe.

Confidence is being certain of truth. Facts can change over time based on the circumstances.

Truth remains the same and will stand the test of time.

False confidence will have you: - Comparing yourself to others, or Considering what you would do in someone else’s situation True confidence will have you: - Creating standards for your life - Setting goals for your personal growth - Moving when no one is looking If you lack confidence sit back and reflect.

When I did three areas popped up for me.

Blockage-I had some old relationships and experiences that I hadn’t healed. To grow my confidence, I worked on forgiveness not for them, but for me. What does forgiveness have to do with confidence? Everything.

Un-forgiveness causes you not to trust and if you can’t trust others can’t find you to be trustworthy.

Stinking thinking-when I replay the thoughts in my head from the day, I mostly was focused on the negative things. When I really stepped back those negative things were a very small piece or point in time of a much larger picture, but I had magnified those things. SMH. The battle of the mind is a constant fight, so be ready.

Confidence in knowing who you are, who you were created to be, and your purpose is important because your family, sisters, and world needs you and what you have.

Work on growing your confidence today!

Confidence gets you out of being stuck (left behind), it brings reward and security, dreams into reality, it can break generational curses, it requires courage, and it is authentic.

Confidence is a good thing in life. You deserve the best life.

Build a healthy mindset: Study, meditate, and get an understanding of God’s word!

And His word is truth! You can trust it and use it as an everlasting foundation. His word will never change. Daily affirmations are good practice in developing a healthy mindset. So is, removing negative people from your life.

Forgive for you: Heal those past relationships so you can live a trustworthy life. If you don’t heal, you are carrying around extra weight that is slowing you down. Losing a few pounds never hurt nobody, lol. The pain, resentment, and bitterness can cause blurred vision.

Write the plan: Get a vision for your life based upon God‘s word. I encourage you to take the time to write it out. I promise you it’ll be worth your time. Don’t just leave it on paper either, do something each day that brings your vision to life. Tell someone about it you can trust. If you can’t find anyone go back and work on forgiveness.

Your tribe is out there, you were created

for relationship.

Your confidence will be shaken from time to time. If it weren’t would you need to grow it? Awareness is a key and is a safeguard for setbacks. The more you know, the quicker you respond. The more you respond and grow your perspective, the more mature you become. The more mature you become, the more confidence you grow. You see the process?

Sister, you’ve got confidence. Let’s go!

Shine your light and live your best life.

Confidence building is heart work from the inside; not acquiring things. Get your thought life in order, heal past hurts, and work your vision. Through all of life’s ups and downs and twists and turns you were chosen to stand out!

It took confidence to write you today. My prayer for you is: Lord, my sister needs your confidence. Let no weapon formed against her prosper. She is fearfully and wonderfully made. We thank you for the plan on her life. Amen.

Sister, what can you start, stop, or continue to doing today to build your confidence?

Do you feel stuck? What is one step you can take to get unstuck? Confidence looks good on you. Wear it well.

Blessings to you, Tarchia Powell Co-Founder and President, Encourage Consulting Group Believer ~ Woman ~ Wife ~ Mother ~ Daughter ~ Sister ~ Friend ~ Leader

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{ BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT }

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{ BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT }

H2H FACILITY SERVICES

BY CHERYL KATES I PHOTOS BY DANIEL DELUCENAY

KEEPING IT CLEAN Lowanda Jones-Gray is the owner of H2H Facility Services which is a commercial cleaning business. In addition to cleaning services, they offer maintenance services to maintain VCT floors (stripping, waxing, scrubbing and buffing), window cleaning and specialized cleaning products. Lowanda remembers when her business gained certification as a woman owned business as one of her most memorable moments. She was proud they were able to certify under this process.

She was able to grow her business, hire more full-time employees and offer benefits.

As a business owner, companies often face obstacles when trying to expand and increase revenues. For Lowanda, at H2H Facility Services, the biggest challenge is how to hire and retain good staff. When starting off, business owners also face challenges in getting their name out there to obtain new clients. One of the hardest things is determining marketing strategies.

Many businesses shy away from hiring large accounting firms because often their services are too costly.

Social media and the availability of marketing aps often provide a costeffective alternative for small business owners. It is always a challenge to seek out various opportunities to utilize these no cost marketing tools.

Lowanda indicates her husband and children are the most significant people in her life. They keep her on her toes

and ensure that she always gives her all. They make sure she never gives up. Her aunt was also a motivating factor when she decided to open up her own business. Lowanda foresees that she may partner up with her aunt for some future endeavors.

RWO asked Lowanda what advice would you share for other

entrepreneurs? “Any entrepreneur who is starting off must know the most important thing to do before stating your business is to do your research. Think about what kind of business you would like to start. Call around to different states and inquire of other businesses in the same category to discuss their struggles and success.

Write down your expectations and goals. Do this for the first two-year period. Don’t be afraid to fail. Ask questions and seek advice. Network, seek out business friends as they are a great asset.

Lowanda loves to empower her employees.

As a woman owned business, she encourages employees to take on more management and leadership roles.

She prides herself as to how she runs her business and includes her employees in some o f the decisionmaking processes. They have monthly advisory meetings. The goal of the meetings is to listen and express success and concerns. The employees are encouraged to express ways to improve the business models.

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{ BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT } “Any entrepreneur who is starting off must know the most important thing to do before stating your business is to do your research.�

Lowanda follows her own advice and mapped out goals for the future of H2H Facility services. She has aspirations of expanding to a mid to large company servicing 3 different states in the future. She is exploring the opportunity of whether to enter into franchising. At the current time, H2H services Rochester, Buffalo and 456

Syracuse. They also do some small areas in Florida.

RWO celebrates Lowanda as an inspiring businesswoman. She entered into a service provided business which is generally dominated by men. After securing her position she offers a work-place which encourages

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employees to seek greater. Kudos to H2H Facility Services.

Our definition of clean is:

C = Certified

Neat L = Loyal E = Experienced A = Affordable N =

Because of our customers giving H2H Facility Services the opportunities to serve them, I am able to share that I am proud of my female ownership in our commercial cleaning business, for the past six years and counting!

My personal success secret - staying actively involved in my business. I do this by personally visiting my customers’ sites in Buffalo, Rochester, and Syracuse, to review workin-progress, as well as our finished jobs. Ultimately, I am responsible for all H2H work which reflects on our image.

Our H2H success factors include: • Locations checked nightly • Ownership visits customer locations quarterly Lowanda Jones, Co-Owner, H2H Facility Services

• Environmentally friendly cleaning products • Great communication • Women- and Minority- Owned Business • Family

We look forward to the day we can personally serve you the H2H way!

https://www.h2h-facility-services.com/about/)

More than 60% of Alzheimer’s and dementia caregivers are women.

The impact of Alzheimer’s on women is real. Not only are women more likely than men to be caregivers, they are also more likely to develop the disease. In fact, almost 2/3 of Americans living with Alzheimer’s are women.

Learn more at: alz.org/women

{ DR KIKI SPEAKS }

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{ DR KIKI SPEAKS }

TAKING THE HIGH ROAD

BY DR. KIKI MICHELLE SINGLETARY-WILLIAMS

Haven’t heard it before? “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Or “be the bigger person.” How many times have you taken this position only to be disappointed with the results which left you feeling like you could have done more to defend yourself. Like, how many times can one turn the other check before they have no more cheeks to turn to? It can be a position of power, it can be a winner takes all situation, but whatever it is, sometimes we get TIRED of “taking one for the team.”

But there is hope…

TAKE THE HIGH ROAD ANYWAY! Why should we take the high road?

The answer is clear: because it is the right thing to do. Once we get into the habit of having an eye for an eye attitude, it can get very exhausting and you can start to feel like your efforts need another bigger effort to seem effective. One time it may appear you are gaining ground but then the next time you have to exert more into a retaliation state of mind. Each time we are in a battle of sorts, it may appear the last course of cation or reaction wasn’t enough

so we seek to go above and beyond the next time. I have some advice for all: STOP! The best response you can give to someone going out of their way to discredit you or to keep drama brewing is to ignore them. Don’t get me wrong, the law is for the lawless, so if there is

a threat or other violation of one’s rights, then yes by all means go to the authorities. But on the other hand, if someone is doing all they can to make your life miserable and you find yourself spending absorbent amounts of time getting them back

or defending your self, then its time to step back and evaluate your own actions and reactions.

Ask your self if the actions you find yourself reacting to, going to impact your way of life if you do not respond? Are you or your character being enhanced by your response? Is the response the same response you would render if God himself were watching? If not, then its better to take the high road.

One has to always remember our own accountability to those who depend on us. If we question our own responses and reactions before moving to act; chances are we will see that the reaction requires us to lower our levels to respond.

So in essence, the most easiest response when someone is not treating us right is to seek to defend ourselves.

But what if we take a deep breath and decide the response is not worth the energy and move on?

We will quickly see the adversary in our lives shrink to something

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{ DR KIKI SPEAKS } “I have some advice for all: STOP! The best response you can give to someone going out of their way to discredit you or to keep drama brewing is to ignore them.”

minuscule and not worth a second thought. In the long run, one can look back and see they would have messed up had they responded or would have missed an opportune moment of growth and self reflection.

It is okay of you do not master the technique of taking the high road right away. But I promise when you look at all yo bring to the table, and all the positive things happening in 466

your life; you will not want to detract from your life to have a tennis match with someone starving for attention.

The high road is about giving your self the freedom to chose peace of mind and not to limit your positive energy in exchange for a cycle of negative energy. I dare you to try it; the next time you get a nastygram via text or email - choose not to respond. The next time someone

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cuts you off in traffic - choose not to respond. You will find the “high road” to be a vehicle of peace and you will wish you had started to take the high road years ago.

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{ IN STYLE WITH MR CARLYLE }

FASHION

BY MR CARLYLE WILLIAMS

Who are you looking at for direction?

Fashion has been a cycle for years.

The roaring 20’s, 40’s, 60’s, which year in fashion will be next for repeat? Where do you get you fashion sense from? Your style of dressing tips?

spring and summer. There will be plenty of all white parties to go to, so stock up early to be fresh and clean. If you don’t get those white sandals and shoes by the

end of May, they will be sold out in your size by June.

checks and prints are everywhere for the summer. Polka-dots in big bold colors are beautiful. Don’t forget to stock up in African Prints.

Skirts, head wraps, and body wraps are gorgeous, and can be dressed up for various events or work as a casual look.

Don’t leave them out for a wedding look this summer: Sun dresses are colorful and are very nice and inexpensive.

They make very good travel items.

Just roll them up and away you go. Try restyling them by cutting them on each side, up to your thigh.

You will be surprised of the outcome.

They are so cool! Have fun, Love yourself, don’t worry about others.

Shop now for white shoes. Bold

Enjoy..

Have you seen the latest in fashion magazines or on Entertainment Tonight TV? Today’s fashion trend has returned to the 60’s fitted looks and plaids are back. Mixing and matching stripes with plaids are seen al over fashion magazines, but some looks are not of good taste.

Do n’t b e fooled….it is over kill. When not sure, use a solid with that stripe or with that plaid silhouette.

Pastel shades are very cool for the

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{ KAT LADY PRODUCTIONS }

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{ KAT LADY PRODUCTIONS }

KEEPING IT FIRE! HOT IN HARLEM

BY REGINA SMITH I PHOTOS BY STEVEN JENKINS SR.

As a seasoned designer, I love to assist newly starting out designers and others in their journey of becoming rising stars. Our latest production featured the work of fashion designers Steven Daniel and Marrietta Tyron. We participated in the 20th Annual Wellness Expo at the National Black Theater. It was definitely an event to remember.

We also love to provide models the opportunity of joining an all-inclusive style runway show, where there is a little something for everyone, not just size 2. This time around, we are going to try something different. In our spread, we are also sharing “Through the Eyes of the Audience” where some of the selected photos are just that.

Productions(C) but is also a designer himself.

Teddy shares:“I’ve loved fashion my whole life, but it wasn’t until 2013, when suits by Teddy Peterson was born. A flair for old

Elegant Lady was created by Marrietta(MAT) for the elegant lady. For many years now, Marrietta has history in the fashion industry.

Technically designing for Big’s House, the likes of Ralph Lauren, Kenneth Cole, and Timberland, as well as the former Liz Claiborne etc. Marrietta is carrying forward the age of elegance and sophistication. She envisions our ladies & gentlemen, once again to have the glamour and style as king & queens before us. who were proud, majestic and elegant.

What better way to give you an all exclusive behind the scenes! Diva 1 stopped in, so Rochester Woman Online was in the building! Read on to hear the impressions of some of the people who all worked together to make this show epic!

A s yo u k n ow, K a t l a d y Productions(C) features my work, Regina Smith, as an exclusive Canadian American Creative Designer and furrier; the title I hold close to my heart. I also design men, women and children’s fashions too. I pride myself in creating eclectic, colorful, bold fashions for people, so they can feel beautiful, in everything I create. My fashions are bigger than just clothing, they are showpieces which are unique and through their beauty, they empower the person who wears them.

Joining me for this show were also designers Teddy Peterson, Steven Daniel and Marrietta Tyron.

Teddy Peterson is the manager of Katlady

to be a part of the Katlady Productions © family”.

Stephen Daniel is a fashion designer from Trinidad and Tobago. He is no stranger to the NY runway. He graduated from FIT and works as a costume designer (26 years) at the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in Manhattan. In addition to his collection he also has a swimwear line.

Stephen says, “Fashion is always changing and evolving, so always be a leader not a follower”.

school fashion, it really makes me happy to see my designs on my customers, Since becoming the mc for Katlady Productions, it gives me the platform to be creative beyond my wildest dreams. I love to MC; it really brings out the best of my abilities.

I’m very passionate about what we do at Katlady Productions(C). There is a special chemistry and energy associated with this company and I’m honored & privileged

The show was amazing, and I love the feeling I get after the shows knowing there’s another one for the books. Watching everyone feel proud of their accomplishments, as their designs are on the stage is definitely empowering and leaves you with a feeling of satisfaction. You were able to share your vision with the world and to allow others to do the same. The designs are not the only thing making the show come to life. We have the creative talents of hairstylists, make-up artists and the energizing personalities of the models.

Katlady Productions recognizes a model

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{ KAT LADY PRODUCTIONS }

can make or break a fashion line up. You need to select the right models who fit with your designs and the mood you are trying to create. You want people with energizing personalities with the ability to move the crowd after their first step on the catwalk. Two of the models we featured were Ben Scott and Jhakeyer Jah. Model Ben Scott shares his experience in the Wellness Expo:

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“Oh, what an amazing time! This was an outstanding show with lovely people.

What a joy to model at the National Black Theater in Harlem, where I played as a child. Now modeling as a grown man, with Katlady Productions” Jahkeyer Jah shares with us her experience: walking with Katlady Productions: “The love of a family, supportive, caring , loving and kindness is so important.

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Katlady Productions show you mad love.

The designs are all so creatively done by Regina Smith!”

At the end of the day, we all work together, and the finished product is an electrifying showcase of beautiful fashion. Join KatLady Productions at our next show and experience it for yourself.

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{ DAY TRAVELS WITH A DIVA }

TAKING THE HIGH ROAD

BY CHERYL KATES AKA “DIVA 1”

125th, Lennox and Malcom X Boulevard, you got it, Big Russ Da Bully and Diva 1 are hitting the streets of Harlem. What a rich environment, a place to truly experience African American culture and heritage, and see a part of history, where the arts and culture took over in the Harlem Renaissance. Greats such as Zora Neale Hurston, W.E.B. DuBois, Langston Hughes, Du k e El l i n g t o n , Malcom X, Marcus Garvey became names on the book for contributing to putting Harlem on the map in a positive way. The area was founded in 1658, which many people forget NY started out as a farming area (1). In 1776, George Washington won his first American battle during the American Revolutionary war here (2). The first inhabitants were the Wecksquaesgeek Indians who farmed tobacco and corn and it was known as Quinnahung or “Planting Neck”.

Harlem was called Zedendael or “Blessed Valley”. Haarlem, Nieuw Haarlem and in 1658, Harlem, remaining rural through the 19th century (2).

In 1820, Harlem had 91 families, a church school and a library (2). Alcohol Prohibition, began to draw people to Harlem, as clubs and entertainment venues started to sprout all over, the

national Black Theater, The Cotton Club and the Apollo Theater, among them (1920’s-1934) (2) In 1831, the installation of the NY/Harlem railroad started to help move things along (2).

The great migration from the South started to shape Harlem as an African American Community (2). In 1910, the population was 10% African-American,

and by 1930 that number jumped to 70% (2). The area is currently experiencing gentrification.

First stop, was the annual Wellness Expo at the National Black Theater. We stopped to check out Something For The

Sistas writer, Regina Smith of Kat Lady Productions who was hosting a fashion show, featuring two additional designers.

Immediately upon walking in the door of this historical cultural building, a vibe comes through. The African décor was amazing. This cultural icon opened its doors in 1968 when Dr. Barbara Ann Teer embarked upon her journey of being the entrepreneur she was (3).

Ms. Teer operated as the pioneer in her community with the honor of owning and operating the theater and claiming this title as the longest/ owned and operated entertainment venue for a woman of color (3). The goal at the theater is to uplift, strengthen and heal Black communities by providing authentic stories of black lifestyle, educating enriching, entertaining and informing especially about social issues impacting the community (3).

In 2008, daughter Sade Lythcott took over, heading up the 64,000 square foot space (3).

Currently, the venue hosts work from 7 commissioned Nigerian artists (3).

Kat Lady Productions, Regina Smith did what she does, put on a spectacular, energy-filled fashion show. Manager and designer Teddy Peterson was right

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“You know a girls got to eat. Big Russ went on to his Harlem battle and Diva 1 met u

there by her side, sharing his electric commentary as the MC. The showcased designers did not disappoint either. It was certainly an evening to remember. Check out Regina’s article, highlighting the ambiance of her show in Something For The Sistas, where she gives our readers a behind the scenes exclusive!

You know a girls got to eat. Big Russ went on to his Harlem battle and Diva 1 met up with her friends Lori Till and Sabrina 478

Scott to take in some of the local cuisine.

For those who know me, I love to cook.

I have just about every cookbook there is and one of them is a Southern cooking flair cookbook by none other than Sylvia’s Restaurant in Harlem. I always wanted to try it out so tonight is the night! It’s a smaller establishment in the heart of Harlem, right on Malcom X Boulevard. An interesting story of female and family entrepreneurship is behind this gem. Sylvia Woods, from South Carolina was a beautician who opened

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the first farmhouse salon in Hemingway, South Carolina (4). She married her high school sweetheart, Herbert (4). The couple relocated to Harlem and Sylvia took a job as a waitress at Johnson’s Lunchette (4). When the owner moved on, he sold Sylvia the restaurant (4). It was truly a family affair as Sylvia’s mother Julia Pressley mortgaged her farm to help with the venture (1962) (4).

Sylvia’s, also known as the World’s Kitchen, is proud of the nomination of “Queen of

{ DAY TRAVELS WITH A DIVA }

up with her friends Lori Till and Sabrina Scott to take in some of the local cuisine. ”

Soul Food” (4). The restaurant hosts a Gospel brunch and provides catering (4).

The staff was warm and inviting. Sabrina and I took a seat at the bar waiting on Lori to arrive. The cocktails were a diverse ensemble. It was welcoming to find a Peach Bellini Mimosa as one of the selections. It was divine.

The dining choices include: Southern fried chicken and grits, sautéed chicken livers, cornmeal dusted catfish, salmon cakes

and shrimp and grits. Other entrees are smothered chicken legs, stewed chicken and dumplings, chitterlings, and chicken and waffles. Don’t forget the sides; collard greens, buttered corn, okra and tomato gumbo, corn bread (of course) and blackeyed peas. It is definitely a foodie delight!

You can’t leave without trying some of the scrumptious deserts; red velvet cake, peach cobbler, banana pudding and sweet potato pie. We tried a little bit of everything, and it was all good. At the end of the day,

what could possibly be better a trip with fashion, great food and precious time spent with friends!

1. History of Harlem (2019). Retrieved May 12, 2019, from https://www.harlemheritage.com 2. Harlem World Magazine (2019). Retrieved May 12 from harlemworldmagazine.com 3. National Black Theater (2019) Retrieved May 31, 2019 from www.nationalblacktheater.org 4. Sylvia’s Restaurant ( 2019) Retrieved May 31, 2019 from sylviasrestaurant.com

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A SALON WORLD

BY SHEILA YOUNG

Working as a stylist can be challenging and heartwarming at the same time.

I’ve encountered my fair share of gives ups or what they call kitchen due. (kitchen due – processing hair in your own house in the kitchen, bath room or living room).

I never thought I would be processing hair and in a shop. I have done hair in my kitchen or bath room.

There is nothing wrong with helping someone become beautiful no matter how it gets done. However, the difference is the pricing.

When you perform the same gift on someone in your home, most people will not pay the full price as being in a shop.

not realize knowing about whether clients experience some of these symptoms can be helpful when you are processing any hair product on a client. It is important information to gather.

- Most times, when coloring for the first time, a box color may not be the best choice for product. Box and or semi-permanent dye often washes out in a few weeks.

The artificial pigment color can linger in your hair for years (literally) and is very difficult to “lift” later if the client wants to go lighter or add highlights.

- When using color, it’s best to change shampoos made to preserve the color.

Make sure the shampoo is for colored-treated hair.

Clarifying shampoo’s which most people use can strip your hair of color.

My gifts are totally different from most, if not all. I specialize in coloring, haircuts, sew ins, crochets, natural hair braiding, relaxers, natural styles and many, many more. I worked with the greatest stylists and some who do not know much about hair during my career.

Let’s get some pointers on some of these subjects, I will start with coloring. Anytime I get a new client, I always want to do a consultation just so I know what my client is about and what he/she likes.

As well as reviewing their medical history, if they are diabetic or have high blood pressure. Most people do

and how many colors ( highlighting or blending several colors).

- Coloring or bleaching hair can damage hair. Always use conditioner and/or get conditioner treatments to make sure the hair stays healthy.

CONSULTATION – Discuss with your client any information you need to know and especially find out what it is they are really looking for from you.

COLORING – what color, what style

Let me provide another tip for some of you beautiful stylists or for those who are still learning the grip of hair and the personal care that comes along with hair care. Relaxers can be a bit tricky for most as well.

RELAXERS - Chemical hair relaxers are designed to straighten extremely curly, coiled or tightly coiled hair by breaking the disulfide bonds found

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{ BEAUTY LIES WITHIN } “Working as a stylist can be challenging and heartwarming at the same time. I’ve encountered my fair share of gives ups or what they call kitchen due. (kitchen due – processing hair in your own house in the kitchen, bath room or living room).”

within the cortex layer of the hair.

Hydroxide and Thio are the most common types of hair relaxers.

- If you have natural hair which we call it VIRGIN hair, it needs more precedence than already relaxed hair which we call it a RETOUCH.

breakage or over processed hair, Heck, I’ve done it myself on clients and it does not feel too good. However, what really matters and what counts is how you fix the mistake and try your best not to do that again. As stylists we encounter so many people of many

- Virgin hair must be processed completely different than Retouches.

Now no matter what product you get or have in your hair, it needs personal care. Chemicals are not to be played with and can damage and break your hair, especially if you try to use two chemicals at once.

Now as far as natural hair, they say it is the easiest to care for. Sorry to disappoint you, but it’s not!!!! It takes more patience and time for natural hair. One nice factor about natural hair is, it is healthier, stronger and chemical-free. I recommend using products with coconut, olive oil, ghee, grass-fed butter, avocado and many more. These fats contain healthy omega 3’s, which help to assist providing softness and sheen in natural hair or for that matter, any type of hair.

Now, I have come across damaged, 482

with loss of hair or no hair if it’s not your choice.

Life can be hectic. Taking time out to pamper yourself, once a week, every two weeks or once a month can be good for your soul. Try a mani or pedi. Take some time out for you to relax. As women we get so busy or have so many obligations we often forget about what we need.

I’ll leave you with this…

races, attitudes and personalities.

Any time you are in some type of customer service you must be built to be tough but at the same time compassionate to your clients.

Some clients present with special hair needs such as those who have cancer, alopecia or any type of hair loss. They need more love than most.

It is severely damaging for a woman

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No matter what hair do you chose, or what chemical’s you use or even if you get braids or locks, take good care of your hair. Refrain from having dry scalp, dandruff and or bumps.

Find a stylist that fits your budget and needs. Your hair is an important part of your body and deserves the love like any other part of the body.

I say “Healthy Hair ROCKS” Sheila Young 515 Thurston Ave (585) 224-6014

{ SFTS BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT }

I AM FABULOUS FOR 5 Angelina Everett is a graduate of Rochester Institute of Technology with a BS in Information Systems.

Upon graduation she worked as an Information Analyst for Electronic Data Systems.

entrepreneur, a leader and has helped boost her confidence and brought a boldness to her where there was once a shy and timid woman.

When she isn’t accessorizing you

Fo r t h e l a s t 13 yrs. she has worked at Excellus BCBS in several different positions and is currently a Quality Test Engineer.

In January 2018 Angelina became an Independent Consultant o f Pa p a r a z z i Accessories and the CEO of I Am Fabulous For Five. In a short period of time she has reached several milestones in Paparazzi and is now a Life of The Party Bronze m e m b e r, a Premier Director and currently has a team of 30 Business Partners.

Paparazzi has been the catalyst to her growth and development as an 484

development. One of her quotes is “You’re never fully dressed without a Smile and Paparazzi Jewelry” Angelina has had several other businesses before, however within the last 16 months she’s had the most success and seen the most growth with her Paparazzi business. She is currently working on expanding her business locally and nationally.

She can be reached We b s i t e :

with Fabulous $5 jewelry she likes swimming, riding her bike in the Tour de Cure for the American Diabetes Association, networking, and personal

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IAmFabulousForFive.com InstaGram: IamAngelinaEverett Facebook: I Am Fabulous by Angelina Phone: 585-414-3290

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{ INCORRUPTIBLE BEAUTY }

INCORRUPTIBLE BEAUTY Incorruptible Beauty in Rochester, New York offers various products to women, including books, shirts, notebooks, hats, and bags.

Th ​ ese items bear the message of how being beautiful in character manifests one’s true beauty on the outside.

Do not just be another pretty face.

Instead, be an incorruptible beauty who is honorable, trustworthy, moral, principled, ethical, good, and virtuous.

Aside from being a p​ublished author, Marlow Brooks is also the founder

and owner of Incorruptible Beauty.

She is also an evangelist, mentor, and entrepreneur. Her company’s brand is all about motivating and inspiring women to love and take care of themselves in accordance with Christian values.

She is so glad you are here to join her in this movement! She sincerely hopes that her products help women to become more confident to face all the ups and downs of their dayto-day life.

“Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” (1 Peter 3:1, NKJV) You can visit them online at incorruptible-beauty.com They have no items over 20.00!

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BAN OR NOT TO BAN?

BY AYANNA JACKSON

Roe V. Wade, 1973 United States Supreme Court case affirmed that access to safe and legal abortion is a constitutional right.

Now, 2019 just 46 years after making history we are now about to let it become unconstitutional again? Do you know the harm it will cause to women in America?

Planned Parenthood is not the monster, the government is making them out to be. They do more than provide abortion services. Planned Parenthood, provides rape crisis counseling, birth control services, reproductive health screenings as well.

Now we have 16 states ready to introduce or pass bills that would ban abortion at 6 weeks!! Total devastation.

Planned parenthood isn’t the only place that provides abortion services, some OB/ GYN offices provide those services as well, it’s safe for the woman, apparently that doesn’t matter anymore.

Since January 2019, more than 250 abortion restrictions have been introduced.

Attempts to ban access to safe, legal abortions have soared to an all time high.

So tragic. Women can face charges if they miscarry after 6 weeks So far 6 states are down to 1 abortion provider.

and died for, we take 1 step forward and 2 steps backwards.

Whether you’re Pro Choice, Pro Life, be Pro Common Sense!! Every woman who chooses abortion is not making that decision lightly. I have had a few friends that had to have them due to medical reasons and the doctor felt that was the best choice.

Why would we ask a woman who has been molested or raped to carry the child of her attacker for 9 months, because of how we feel, How, about how she feels!!

People of low income and people of color will be among those disproportionately affected. The efforts to restrict or ban abortion are spreading quickly. In Georgia, Kentucky, and Mississippi, banned abortion access at six weeks, other states, Missouri, Ohio, South Carolina, and Tennessee are stand to follow suit.

With politicians filling proposals for similar bans in Florida, Illinois, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, New York, Texas, and West Virginia.

We have been so blinded about other things happening lately in Congress or dealing with this border issue, that laws that were passed decades ago are being dismantled right in plain sight, and we are not trying to stop this tragedy.

None of this that is happening is right.

It’s hunting season on all pregnancies, which shouldn’t be a stressful time but the way this going, folks may not want to have kids. The government does not have the right to tell a woman what to do with her body, with her pregnancy wanted or not wanted, that is decided between her and significant other. I have no idea what she may be going through or what her situation may be so we can not judge unlest we be judged.

We have become so invested, Russian probes, Clinton’s emails, trumps taxes, mueller reports, whether or not Cardi B drugged men, WHO CARES!! We have lost sight of what Americans have fought

This hits home for me because, when I was a young teen, Planned Parenthood was there for me to provide me with non judgemental advice and birth control services, I used Planned Parenthood for

multiple services for a long time. I never once felt anything but grateful they were there for me at the time I needed them.

A lot of teens can’t turn to their parents to be understanding about birth control, but Planned Parenthood is and they are very much confidential, so a teen can have total control of their reproductive health without fear from family.

So back to my story, on one of my appointments at Planned Parenthood I was greeted by protestors outside with their signs, pictures of aborted fetuses, quoting scriptures with bibles in their hands saying “ God Loves You”, well I know that already, and didn’t need them to tell me that. It was a scare tactic to keep me from going into my appointment, so what did this very clever young lady say to them. I said “ Well you do know they assist with things so that you don’t have to have an abortion if not needed,” The one protestor said that birth control was a sin and I said, “Well, a lot of folks going to hell saved and not saved, since a lot of people use birth control to keep from getting pregnant to keep from having to make that difficult decision to terminate.” I politely turned away and walked myself into my appointment at Planned Parenthood. The secretary told me I was brave to stand up to them, I said not bravery just standing up for what is right.

Can you say the same about yourself??

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{ THE KURVIE KORNER }

CELEBRATING LOCAL WOMEN

BY LATIFFANY ANDERSON

WHO WILL MAKE A GLOBAL IMPACT As you all know Kurvie Korner is all about everything that empowers, encourages, and uplifts women. In continuance of last month’s celebration of women in business I admire. I’d like to introduce you all to two women who are not only my close friends, but are also women who are changing their lives with their businesses.

If you love handbags as much as I do you have to head over to Jonzey’s closet.

978 South Clinton avenue, right here in Rochester NY. There you’ll find Raquel Denise handbags.

Her array of eye catching purses can also be found on facebook and pintrest under Raquel Denise Handbags. On Instagram she can be found under raqueldenise_handbags.

Raquel offers affordable hand bags for the everyday woman. Raquel wanted to start a business that she could use her skill sets she learned from pursing her degrees. Raquel has gained business knowledge from working with her eldest sister for over 20 years.

Through conversations, faith, and her love of handbags “Raquel Denise Handbags” was created.

This month Raquel will be celebrating a year of providing unique handbags to

local women as well as those who are out of state. Though rewarding, it has not been a perfect process. An obstacle that Raquel has faced is finding ways to become more present on social media.

Raquel states “I am not one to post my

every life moment on social media, and due to that I feel it has caused a hindrance in my social media reach.” Raquel has found a solution; she adds “Since I am running an Ecommerce business, and I want my products to reach handbag lovers

worldwide, I am beginning to utilize my social media platforms more actively.”

Raquel has found for fellow business women it’s difficult to start a business due to the uncertainty that surrounds starting a new venture. To women who are beginning a business in the handbag world Raquel suggests “research current trends, seek mentorship, and never stop selling yourself”.

In five years Raquel sees her business with several employees, and generating a million dollar revenue. She sees “Raquel Denise” being a designer label that is worn by women globally. Raquel has found motivation in her desire to succeed. She knows her business is a GOD given vision and will continue to pursue it as she reaches new levels of success.

If you need a photoshoot that is designed just for you, or you need your vision brought to life, head to Facebook and add Candice Wright. Candice’s amazing work can also be found on Instagram under “_ candicew_” Candice began “ The Wright Photography” three years ago. Her husband purchased the equipment because he wanted to become a photographer.

Candice explored the idea of her learning techniques, and completed a shoot for a family member. Through social media tags, and word of mouth Candice’s business has grown. She is now one of the most sought after photographers in Rochester.

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{ THE KURVIE KORNER } “As you all know Kurvie Korner is all about everything that empowers, encourages, and uplifts women.”

Candice offers photography of all kinds; she specializes in unique decorated shoots.

Candice has also incorporated body painting into her list of offered services.

Candice has found that it was hard to be taken seriously due to photography in Rochester being male dominated. She found that it was hard to gain respect, because she didn’t have an established name. Candice completed shoots in her two bedroom apartment, and struggled with her confidence as a photographer in the beginning of her career.

Candice has overcome those obstacles

by promoting herself on social media.

With the motivation of her family, clients and friends Candice continues to build her confidence and her business. Her family assists her with the execution of her shoots, without hesitation. She is able to utilize her creativity with each shoot.

Candice states” most of my clients never come with ideas or themes”, she uses their outfit choices and creates a vision for their shoot. Candice added” It’s the best feeling in the world to have people believe in you, and your craft”. Candice has a tip for women who want to step into a successful photography career. Candice

wants you to remember “You are only as good as your last shoot, you have to keep your work relevant.” She also adds “even if the people around you don’t see your vision, always trust in yourself and your product”.

In the future Candice sees herself being a high profile celebrity family photographer.

Candice says “I won’t stop until I get the chance to do a decorated photoshoot for Beyonce’s family.” Candice sees herself empowering other female photographers to live their dreams, and become successful photographers just like she is.