PLUS...
- THE DEPUTY MAYOR OF SYRACUSE, SHARON OWENS - MOGUL FALICIA FRACASSI -AND MORE!
Karen Mungenast THE STORY BEHIND THE BEAUTIFUL FACE
SPECIAL INSERTS
- FASHION& BUSINESS -SHE HUSTLES entrepreneuHERS
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KAREN MUNGENAST THE STORY BEHIND THE BEAUTIFUL FACE
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REGULARS
REGULARS
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CNY INSPIRING WOMAN Sharon Owens
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TRACY TALKS
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IN HER OWN WORDS Holly Katie
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YOU MATTER
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ANIMAL CARE SACTUARY CORNER
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A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE
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LIVING CONFIDENTLY
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MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE
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WOMEN IN POLITICS
WOMAN WHO INSPIRES Felicia Fracassi
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CHILDREN AWAITING PARENTS
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IN HER OWN WORDS Meredith Dawes
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KARMA SPEAKS
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THE 6 PILLARS
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VISIONARY MINDS Sherry Genga
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FOR A GOOD CAUSE The Geneva Half Marathon
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WOMEN OF STRENGTH
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TIME TO FLY LADIES
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REAL ESTATE WITH RITA
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GIVING BACK AT RGH
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HER EDGE
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COACHING WITH KRISTIN
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CROWN POSSE
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SHE HUSTLES ENTREPRENEUHERS SHE Talks Fleet Feet Kara Karaoguz Drinks on Me Lakeside Cosmetic Center Julianna Salon Keller Williams Commercial Roy Art Gallery
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FASHION & BEAUTY 35
FASHION, FASHION, FASHION
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BEAUTY TALKS
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HEALTH & WELLNESS
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MIND, BODY & SPIRIT
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HEALTHY PUPPERS
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MENTAL THINKING
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THE FITNESS DIVA
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ASK ROBIN HERTZ
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GET VITALIZED
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LIFE IN BALANCE
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282 PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY 286 ASK THE DOCTOR 290 MENTALLY THINKING
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THRIVING THERAPY
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{ FROM THE PUBLISHER }
“Life-fulfilling work is never about the money- when you feel true passion for something you instinctively find ways to nurture it.”
T
T T
ON OUR COVER
On our cover this month we have the beautiful Karen Mungenast. An inspiring woman, who rose above the darkness she experienced and is a woman on the top of her game. She has it all. She is a successful travelling Information Technology (IT) executive. She’s a mom. She’s a survivor. Photographed by RWO lead photographer Charlene Mann Photography on location at the Rochester Woman’s Boutique Studio’s in Webster, NY.
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{ A LOOK AT OUR TEAM }
PUBLISHER ASSOCIATED EDITOR CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN LEAD PHOTOGRAPHER PHOTOGRAPHY CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
ADVERTISING SALES SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTORS WEB DESIGN & MANAGEMENT EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT
Kelly Breuer Tammy Reese Kelly Breuer Charlene Mann Ford Tellier Studios Devin Mack Marisa Nicodemus Tammy Reese Cheryl L. Kates Robin DeWind Olga Monacell Alana Cahoon Glenna Colaprete-Hudson Lisa Wagner Judi Swanson Dr Larry Peshkin Christina McDonald Sherry Hale Indra Quagliata Denise Karma Clifford Dr Pam Denton Giovanna Walton Tracy Simone Becky Picone Ellen Feldman Terry Daniele Meredith Dawes Robin Hertz Alicia Hicks Bonnie Floyd Kristin Bauer-Gross Kait Lyn Jamie Messner
Courtney Campbell Dr. Chelsea Obourn Cathy Conser Dara Rennert Rita Pettinaro Devon Mcloed Laurie McKnight Mindy Dougherty Angela Vahue Eric Heick Devon McLoed Julie Vilinsky La’Lah Maggie Tortatice Jennifer Frary
Kelly Breuer Katie Lawler-Melia & Toni Natalie The Next Design Casey Marie
Rochester Woman ONLINE is the premier professional woman’s online publication in the greater Rochester area. Our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local area women. The electronic magazines are distributed freely through your favorite app store and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge. Please feel free to contact publisher Kelly Breuer at 585.727.9120 or you can email us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com. Download our current media kit at www. rochesterwomanonline.com. The magazine is published 12 times a year by Rochester Woman ONLINE. Copyright © 2020 Rochester Woman ONLINE. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publisher. Rochester Woman ONLINE is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork. All such submissions become the property of Rochester Woman ONLINE and will not be returned.
Art Supplies Included
PAINT. DRINK. HAVE FUN. Join us for an evening of friends, fun and painting! Whether you want to destress, connect with friends, or make new ones, we provide everything you need for a great night out. From the seasoned painter to the newbie, these painting classes have something for everyone!
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KAREN MUNGENAST BY CHERYL L. KATES I PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY
We all know, there’s a story behind every beautiful face and sometimes people endure trauma which would break others. Only the strong survive! Those of us who find the strength to rise above, find a way to use the experiences we survived to be our driving force to success and as a foundation to help others. Karen Mungenast is an inspiring woman, who rose above the darkness she experienced and is a woman on the top of her game. She has it all. She is a successful travelling Information Technology (IT) executive. She’s a mom. She’s a survivor. Karen prides her accomplishment of raising two successful daughters who became a school teacher and a physician’s assistant. Being a successful parent is often challenging when you endured abuse in your own childhood. Karen was abused sexually from the ages of 5-16. She describes her life at that time as “similar to being in a concentration camp”. On the outside, her family was a successful entrepreneurial family. Behind closed doors, there was something else going on. Karen says, “I thank the good Lord my largest obstacles came when I was very young because that gave me the chance to work on it, grow my character and make it a positive. I finally gained the courage to speak out and seek help. I was frightened as I did not know what would happen to me next. I thought I
might be killed, but I was protected and was forever set free. Every day, I thank the good Lord for my freedom. God is my best friend. He helps me through each day with strength and guidance.
He never lets me down as he knows what is best for me”. While growing up Karen always wanted to be a successful businesswoman. She
climbed the ranks and was the Regional CFO for Verizon Upstate New York at age 40. Karen enjoys her current position as a national and sometimes international, travelling IT executive. She is blessed to travel and experience cities she often dreamed about. She loves managing Fortune 500 premier clients. She finds her work exhilarating as it “pushes her to her max”. Most enjoyable, is the ability of being exposed to bright clients who expect excellence from her, and her team and she is delighted to provide it. Most challenging, is learning to develop skills such as being organized, packing all the time, finding ways to still incorporate her faith when travelling and saving time for family and friends. Oh yeah, don’t forget physical strength is important for running through airports on a regular basis and managing the three computers! Karen reflects saying, “I worked in my parents’ businesses since age 9. It was very difficult working every weekend and not being able to hang out with my friends. However, these sacrifices kept me out of trouble and away from the drug and alcohol scene. In my free time I rode my standard bred horse Golden John, a 16 hand chestnut beauty. I learned what real work commitment was early in my life. This is the foundation of why I can handle insurmountable challenges”. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: SHE HUSTLES EDITION 2020
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“I set my priorities and I stand by them. I plan to keep contributing fiercely. There is no taming this lioness. For me, life is a journey.”
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{ COVER STORY } “I love my career and I love my family. I must always use balance. I’ve gotten better at saying no, with age. This my friends, is true liberation!”
Karen shares, “I love my career and I love my family. I must always use balance. I’ve gotten better at saying no, with age. This my friends, is true liberation! I set my priorities and I stand by them. I plan to keep contributing fiercely. There is no taming this lioness. For me, life is a journey. As long as I have an expectation on myself to keep contributing at a significant level, the rest falls into place. I always aim high and I make it happen”. Karen’s career transition a few years back was a huge accomplishment. She went from being a Financial CFO to leading multi-million dollar, international I T ( In f o r m a t i o n Technology) programs as a travelling executive. This brought a whole new aspect of responsibility, learning and a large level of commitment to take her international team to the next level. These roles in many companies are staffed by men. Karen broke the glass ceiling and excelled, leading her company to great new heights. She is very proud and wants others to know that they too can change their entire career and achieve the unimaginable. One of the most favorite memories Karen has during her career was the ability to live outside of London across from Windsor Castle. She lived here for three years in an elite gated community.
She recalls pinching herself daily to be able to live there and work every day. She remembers running on the Queen’s Long Walk in the Great Park. Her girls played in the Queen Mum’s garden. Remarkably, on weekends, the family travelled to a dozen or so additional European countries. Karen treasures her relationships with friends and family. When asked who
the most significant persons are in her life outside of her relationship with God, she says, “My two daughters, Danielle and Rachel, two Marks and my grandson Jax”. Her brother Mark was her lifeline and confidante during her childhood. Her significant other, also a Mark, is her biggest cheerleader and advocate. Karen indicates she gets hope from her grandson Jax for our world’s future.
Karen also enjoys being a philanthropist. She takes this role outside of her employment on a personal level. She supports many charities including Bivona Child Advocacy, Trillium (AIDS), Alzheimer’s Association, Just Breathe (Cystic Fibrosis), the Rochester City Ballet, Center for Youth and Make a Wish Foundation. These charities touch Karen’s heart, as they are about helping “the kids” and all ages, genders and walks of life. She truly enjoys supporting her community and giving back as a whole. Karen also helps the unemployed by offering job coaching skills on finding employment. She does not charge for these services. Attending church as stated, is the foundation in Karen’s life. She loves singing her heart out with her worship team. She chuckles, “I don’t have a great voice, but God does not care! I am a survivor. I turned negative into positive. God is number one. The rest is all the rest. I know I have great empathy for people. I love people. I understand all people are fighting their own battles and demons. I try not to be judgmental. I leave that up to God to sort out.” Karen has another side than being just the serious business-minded executive. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: SHE HUSTLES EDITION 2020
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{{ COVER COVER STORY STORY }} “I don’t have a great voice, but God does not care! I am a survivor. I turned negative into positive. God is number one. The rest is all the rest. I know I have great empathy for people. I love people.”
For those who know her personally, she is known for a signature pose when sharing pictures on social media. Her “signature “ leg pose. Karen shares, she always had a love for fashion. Signature Hollywood beauties like Elizabeth Taylor and Marilyn Monroe were inspiring while growing up. Karen shares. “My mother blessed me with stunning legs so why not show case them? Plus it’s kind of a whimsical pose, why not live your inner child forever?” Karen also points out saying, “Exercise and a healthy diet are critical. In order to sustain long work hours, challenging
work situations, and horrendous travel schedules, one must be fit in mind, body and spirit. Exercise is a natural drug. Working out every day is like brushing my teeth”. In closing, RWO asked Karen what advice she has for our readers stating, “Set those goals and dreams! It may all sound overwhelming in the beginning, but if you create goals that are achievable, step-by-step, if you follow your plan, before you know it you made your life-long goal, then keep going! The saying, “Fake it until you make it” is a
great philosophy. In my lifetime, I hear people say, “I cannot do this or that as I never did it before”. Have confidence in what you can do. Try new things. Do not be afraid. Have faith in the power and influence you hold. Don’t allow defeat to win, before you get started. A few other quotes I love are, “Persistence pays off” and “Attitude equals altitude”. Stay relevant by continuously learning and reinventing yourself. All of these things equal a successful career and life that is sustainable. My personal last quote is “Get rid of toxic people”.
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SPECIAL INSERT
FEATURING: ESTATE & FINE JEWELRY BY HARRY KRIKORIAN INCOGNITO MENSWEAR THE ROCHESTER RAZROSHARKS
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{ SHIFT+CONTROL } } { SPECIAL FASHION FEATURE “A unique, creative, and incredible way to promote your business within the pages of Rochester’s PREMIERE Women’s publication.”
When you want to use more than words to leave your loved one speechless get them a one of a kind piece from Estate & Fine Jewelry by Harry Krikorian. Offering Premier Jewelry selections and services for more than 30 years, Harry Krikorian has traveled the 48
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country hand selecting the most exquisite Estate pieces! He now offers the largest selection of Fine Antique and Vintage Jewelry, as well as the largest collection of Pre-owned Luxury Watches in all of Upstate NY. As a full service jewelry store, he offers on-site repairs and free jewelry appraisals for your convenience.
Visit us in-store or follow us online to see more of our spectacular collections! FB: @hkfinejewelers IG: @hkfinejewelers Email: hkfinejewelry@gmail.com Website: krikorianjewelers.com
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{ SHIFT+CONTROL } { SPECIAL FASHION FEATURE } “Bringing to the table an arsenal of luxurious pieces provided by Incognito Menswear.”
As a stylist you always look for projects that are going to push you. Challenge your creativity. Then you want to collaborate with fellow artists that can take your vision and escalate it to the next level. Working together along side Kelly Breuer with Rochester Women Online , I was able to find that exact project. My recent shoot with the Rochester Razor Sharks and Harry Krikorian Jewelers was a Style Victory to add to my books. Bringing to the table an arsenal of luxurious
pieces provided by Incognito Menswear, located at the four corners of Penfield, the Razor Sharks were able to see themselves in another fashion. Not only just talented athletes, but elegant, sophisticated, urbane men. With a touch of modern edgy.. of course. Trying on their ensembles for the first time and seeing their faces illuminate, was priceless. There was a new found confidence that was emerging from them. Something they may not have even realized they processed. It was electrifying and really shines through
in the beautiful photos captured by photographer Charlene Man. Leaving the shoot that night, besides feeling pure exhausted from the weeks of prep leading to the shoot, I felt a strong sense of pride. This was a journey that was well worth taking. I’d like to thank the owners of the Razor Sharks for trusting me and believing that I could capture the individuality and spirit of each one of their players. Not to mention the incredible pieces provided by Harry Krikorian. It was the icing on the cake! ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: SHE HUSTLES EDITION 2020
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{ SHIFT+CONTROL } { SPECIAL FASHION FEATURE } “A unique, creative, and incredible way to promote your business within the pages of Rochester’s PREMIERE Women’s publication.”
For more information on this features amazing businesses you can check them out at: Estate & Fine Jewelry by Harry Krikorian 3025 Monroe Avenue Rochester, New York 14618 (585) 453-2860 www.KrikorianJewelers.com 80
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Incognito Menswear & Tux Shop 1823 Penfield Rd Penfield, New York 14526 (585) 586-7846 www.incognitomenswear.com
The Rochester Razorsharks (585) 232-9190 www.razorsharks.com
Charlene Mann Photography
(585) 260-4831 www.charlenemannphotography.com Please feel free to contact us for more information and packages starting at just $499 at networkrocqueen@gmail.com
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WE DON’T JUST SELL ESTATE JEWELRY, W IT TOO!
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A CONVERSATION WITH DEPUTY MAYOR SHARON OWENS BY TAMMY REESE I PHOTOS BY TELLIER PHOTOGRAPHY
City of Syracuse Deputy Mayor Sharon Owens’s story leading up to her lifelong journey as a public servant begins with how she was raised. She had a mother who believed that when God blesses you, you have to give back. Her mother also believed that one has to give to return on their blessings which can be considered an investment. One has to decide and strive to really be all in and be the best person that they can be for the people around them.
Her journey has had a lot of different stops along the way so far. At each stop, she has gained experience. Being the deputy mayor is another stop along her journey that she is learning so much from. She doesn’t know where her journey will take her next, but she knows it’s
Sharon: Thank you ! I don’t see myself as a politician. Government is about service to me. I’m more focused on getting the work done for the people, but politics does play a role in government.
Deputy Mayor Owens is huge on mentorship. One of her favorite opportunities during her career has been mentoring the next generation. Sitting down with them so they can pick her brain and learn from her experiences. She especially enjoys mentoring young, black women in professional fields who may often times be the only women of color in the room they enter. She loves helping those women navigate being in executive or management positions in order for them to progress.
Tammy : Besides being Deputy Mayor, what other career positions have you had that have made an impact?
“We start in certain places, but it doesn’t mean we will finish there.” -Deputy Mayor Sharon Owens Owens says “Be true to who you are .” As young professionals grow and develop in their personal and professional lives, they are being molded into the kind of person who will be able to do the things they are most passionate about, in the place that they’re supposed to do that work.” 84
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first cover feature. Timing didn’t work out, but I am so glad we are sitting down and having this interview now. I think you are one of the most inspirational women in our community. There may be people who aren’t into politics , may not know everything you do or all of what goes on at City Hall, but for me, seeing a woman like yourself, having accomplished much, who can make change and looks like me, is powerful.
going to be good. Every step she has ascended is because she, too, has been mentored. Tammy : When we launched CNYWO Magazine, I wanted you to be our very
Sharon: I worked for Home HeadQuarters in the homeownership center. I was in a position that helped people at a very critical part in their lives. When we think about generational poverty, we think of financial stability as the first step toward home ownership. This is how generational wealth is passed along: you acquire property, whether it be land or a home, and you leave it for your descendants to inherit. I run into individuals whose parents still own the homes they were raised in. Those moments that I was able to help make are great.
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{ {SHIFT+CONTROL { CNY INSPIRING COVER STORY WOMAN }} } “We start in certain places, but it doesn’t mean we will finish there.”
Other positions I have had included working for Mayor Stephanie Miner. I’ve also worked at the Southwest Community Center, making an impact in providing services through one of the critical institutions in the community that I believe I was destined to be at. I was able to help stabilize the center financially. Helping to increase both the budget and programs.
her she has to find a balance. She has great family support, especially from her Husband. Carving out time for family is how she recharges. Tammy: Why is it important to celebrate both Black History and Women’s History Month?
Whatever role one has, whatever the calling is to one’s life, it should be their mission is to improve. Whether you stay at an organization or not, the next thing to focus on is always to be a better person.
We began to discuss our take on the Harriet Tubman film Harriet, and the impact Tubman has on Central New York. We won’t give spoilers, but we highly recommend people see the film if they haven’t.
“I am so optimistic and excited about the future of our community,” says Owens. When I asked Deputy Mayor Owens who some of the women has she learned from currently or in the past are, she didn’t want to get into listing names, but off the record she listed many women from all races, ages and walks of life in Syracuse who she feels are extremely talented. She also shared that those women are making a mark in the community and that she is proud to know and have learned so much from them. Taking on the role of her job, being a mentor, a community advocate, and a wife and mother, her friends remind
contributions because the history of this country hasn’t done that in a significant manor. To be able to think about Black History Month and Women’s History Month is indicative of where we have come from, what we are doing, and where we are going . Central New York plays a huge part in the history of women and African Americans. Take a minute and pause to think about it.
Tammy : What do you want your legacy to be? Sharon: I don’t want it to be about titles , titles mean nothing! I want my legacy to be about people who can look back and be able to say “When I needed something, I could call on Sharon to help me find my way.”
Sharon Owens: We should be celebrating the contributions of everyone, all throughout the year. We also have to take a moment to stop and pause, and recognize individuals of different demographics and their
When you are called to do something that’s beyond you and your capacity, you have to rely on God. I can’t do anything on my own. The time for the city of Syracuse is promising, but at the same time there are a lot of people hurting. The burden of that can be overwhelming, ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: SHE HUSTLES EDITION 2020
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“I am so optimistic and excited about the future of our community.”
unless you understand that you are not doing it alone and remain humble. You have to be empowered by God. God has put me in a position and I will be held accountable. I’m not 90
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elected, I am appointed. It’s about service. I am here to help people. I am thankful I am working with a mayor who listens to my opinion. I bring a perspective that is unique. If the position you are in doesn’t scare
you a little, you aren’t in the position you were meant to be in.
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{ IN HER OWN WORDS }
SKIN BY HOLLY KATIE I PHOTOS BY CHARLENE MANN PHOTOGRAPHY
The photos here were taken in a shoot with Charlene Mann Ford that was won in a drawing at Rochester Woman Online’s Think Purple Domestic Violence Awareness Event last October. Whether fate or mere coincidence, the lingerie shoot relates to the reasons I attended the event in the first place; as someone who lived through domestic violence, awareness and advocacy of resources for domestic violence survivors is a meaningful cause to me.
offer for me to stay at their house, was a surprise to me—it would be at least another year before I would be able to recognize, let alone accept what was happening. The culmination of my twenty
A considerable portion of those experiences of domestic violence was sexual abuse at the hands of a family member. Their interest in photography dabbled beyond the boundaries of appropriate toward me, and any indication of “No” I conveyed was met with antagonizing questions of “Why not?” regardless. Included in that pressure was their expression of wanting me to do a cheesecake shoot, not dissimilar in nature to the shoot I had with Charlene. Though a young adult at the time, I did not possess the cognizance to understand why the situation distressed me so much. I confided with a friend at college about the scenario, without realizing it was one of the first times I was disclosing the abuse that was happening. Their reaction of alarm, along with their 96
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years in this situation led to severe problems with mental health and the development of chronic pain conditions. Additionally, I specifically developed an aversion to modeling, deviating from my natural hammy,
younger self that beamed at cameras. After I moved out from this living situation, I began to once again dabble as I used to, before the photo-related abuse from the family member, by posing in photos set to timed shots so I could be alone; however, I kept it secret, feeling deep shame for enjoying it. Along with chronic dissociation from my body, I also wrestled with my background of religious fundamentalism and its double standards towards women’s body image and behavior. Some time after blocking my abuser, part of my coming-out story included putting up risqué photos—photos which made me feel empowered, like I didn’t have to hide behind clothes any longer. Inadvertently, I received judgmental commentary and messages from people I had known most of my life about why I was putting such images up, given my abuse history. At the time, I wasn’t in a good state of mind to have a conversation with these persons, whether they intended judgment or not, and quietly let them go from my life. Oddly, in spite of my rekindled love of posing, I never had considered modeling once until a friend suggested it. Modeling seemed like an exalted
{ {INVISIONARY HER OWN WORDS MINDS } }
HOLLY KATIE
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“I requested no concealer or foundation for my makeup, done by Emily Pangburn. My face is the only noticeable canvas of selfinflicted harm, exacerbated by a food allergy, and is a habit I learned as an adolescent in order to avoid being the recipient of it from my abuser—it hurt less that way, and I could control it.”
{ IN HER OWN WORDS }
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{ IN HER OWN WORDS } “Along with chronic dissociation from my body, I also wrestled with my background of religious fundamentalism and its double standards towards women’s body image and behavior.”
lifestyle, reserved only for select individuals; also, I had no idea that other types of modeling besides high fashion runway existed. I began researching what I could find— surprisingly, not much. But, I did learn about modeling for an agency versus freelance, expectations in the industry, and the science of lighting and its effects on the resulting twodimensional image extracted from a three-dimensional pose. I continued to practice alone, and over time, with friends. Ev e n t u a l l y, I found an agency’s open call and decided to attend, quickly learning the industry requires thick skin. The first time I was rejected, so I gathered the photos I had taken, printed them, and organized them into a professional portfolio. I was accepted the second time. The agency was only part-time, and I was able to land some gigs in runway and a music video. I relish runway, but I wanted to continue exploring other interests, such as a dark and edgy photoshoot or a lingerie shoot. When Charlene and I did the shoot
together, I had such a blast, and it also held a much deeper meaning. I requested no concealer or foundation for my makeup, done by Emily Pangburn. My face is the only noticeable canvas of self-inflicted harm, exacerbated by a food allergy, and is a habit I learned as an adolescent in order to avoid being the recipient
of it from my abuser—it hurt less that way, and I could control it. However, that didn’t prevent them from using my self-harm as an excuse to segue looking under my bra to survey the damage, once including unwanted touch. So in this shoot, I left my scars and skin exposed, as a pair of middle fingers to the harmful ideologies I had been taught about my body:
to the “ When women say ‘No’ it means ‘yes’” I had been told; to the “immodest” = “asking for it”; to the “boys only want you for one thing”; and most of all, to all the instances I had been made to engage in or be the recipient of sexual advances that I never wanted. Present-day, I’m doing much better, though I ’m c o m i n g to accept that some scars never fully heal. By no means am I thankful for what happened—no one should have to survive such an amount of hell. I wouldn’t even wish it on my abuser. However, I am thankful I have been able to experience joy, peace, curiosity, and have had the relief of being able to hold two or more emotions in conscientious contemplation instead of being thrown about at the mercy of borderline personality disorder, now in remission. I have survived years of suicidality, and at my worst, the dark impulses to cause others harm. I would like to get to a point again where I can snap a genuine smile at a camera, but for ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: SHE HUSTLES EDITION 2020
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{ SHIFT+CONTROL } } { IN HER OWN WORDS “If you’re going through hell, keep going,.” ~Winston Churchill
now, I can accept my current somber default. These photos are just a touch of the world and history that exist under this model’s skin. Though I have shared but a small portion of my story, I believe that keeping it raw and unglossed holds the best 102
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chance for connecting with others who have survived. To my fellow hell-jumpers, “If you’re going through hell, keep going,” ~Winston Churchill. Pushing through the bleakness requires at least as many
tiny steps of daily motions as it does grander epiphanies and lessons. I would know—I’ve survived it.
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{ THE ANIMAL CARE SACTUARY CORNER }
VOLUNTEERING BY ANN LEWIS
Want to make a difference in the lives of animals? Consider volunteering with the Animal Care Sanctuary! ACS is always looking for individuals, clubs and teams who are passionate about their mission and have an interest in rescue/adoption, education and community collaboration. You can help for the day or become a regular familiar face. Volunteer duties range from general cleaning and care in the cattery, helping to socialize their cats and dogs, to working in the office, attending events, and so much more! Even if you don’t live near one of their two locations (East Smithfield and Wellsboro, PA), there are still opportunities for you to help with their life-saving work. Remote volunteers can assist with things such as: • Advocating for the humane treatment of all animals • Fundraising • Social media, marketing and/or graphic design • Grant Research and sponsorships
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No matter your interest, your skills will be put to use! Emily Skjold oversees the volunteer program at ACS. “We currently have around 20 regular volunteers, and a number of volunteers who come in groups for larger projects. In 2019, our volunteers logged close to 4,000 hours with us, and their work was and is immensely appreciated! It is difficult to find a way to express how necessary our volunteers are, and we can’t imagine doing this job without
them!” Read more about some of the volunteers at Animal Care Sanctuary: Amy, John, and his two kids Hayleigh (16) and Zach (13) have been volunteering as a family for over four months now. They decided to start volunteering because they wanted to “help soften the rough edges on some of the older and/or less adoptable dogs
in hopes that someone might take a chance like we did.” Amy and John have two rescue dogs, Molly and Colby – Colby was a long-stay dog from ACS, flagged for some issues such as food and toy aggression. But they were up for the challenge and with time, patience and understanding, they have seen Colby become a wonderful part of their family. If you are a follower of the Animal Care Sanctuary social media, you are probably already acquainted with Maria! Since July of last year, Maria has been sharing her time and talent to take some amazing photos of their cats and dogs. She is a part of the HeARTS Speak program, which offers several programs including, Artists Helping Animals, which is a global network of 500+ photographers and artists who offer creative services pro-bono to animal shelters throughout the world. The goal of this program is to transform the image of shelter pets, and to help us save more lives. She also has her own company SmallM Photography.
{ THE ANIMAL CARE SACTUARY CORNER } “In 2019, our volunteers logged close to 4,000 hours with us, and their work was and is immensely appreciated! It is difficult to find a way to express how necessary our volunteers are, and we can’t imagine doing this job without them!”
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{ GLENNA’S { IN HER OWN CBDWORDS CORNER} }
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{ ASK ROBIN HERTZ }
I’M NOT MY BOOBS! BY ROBIN HERTZ
11 weeks out! I Want to keep updating you on what happens after explanting the toxic breast implants. Noticed I wrote “the” instead of mine?? I think this is my way of UNCLAIMING them as “mine.” Detaching! Well I still feel over 90% better. I look in the mirror and am thrilled when I see how much better My skin and eyes look. Younger and healthier. I was worried before when I’d look in the mirror, especially at my eyes. They didn’t look vibrant sparkly and white.
I’ve lost weight without trying and my boobs are shaping and fluffing, as everyone says. The fluff fairy is real! Now for the part I’m not thrilled to write about but here goes. Emotionally it flipped me out! I did not see that coming! I went from feeling voluptuous and sexy to insecure, emotional
After all I am an intuitive specializing in health and I could “see” on myself that I was in trouble and my body was toxic.
It can take a year for a full recovery.
Eyesight clear where before it wasn’t, brain fog gone, body feels calm, no heart palpitations, weird aches and pains gone, I have almost too much energy! It’s 4:50 am and I’ve already done a podcast, read my first chapter into for my book and now blogging! My libido….. wait I have a libido! Now THAT is very exciting!
It hit me hard the day I went bra shopping. My surgeon said to wear a bra day and night. My Incisions hurt, my boobs were too small and weird and didn’t even go in a bra. They were dented and empty, bras seemed useless and wearing one was painful but I promised I’d listen and wear one 24/7 for the best end results. This was the first time I cried. Being in a store I sucked the tears back in as much as I could.i knew that I had to get patient tho and let my body heal and reform.
My hair is not falling out anymore but it is a little dry still. I’m sure the blow drying and flat ironing doesn’t help as well and it’s only been 11 weeks. Lol.
My skin has not been so pretty and acne free in years. Even the skin tone is brighter, smoother, naturally moisturized and I have pink in my cheeks again.
cut and left unattached and shrunk up. I was sore and flat and had UGLY deflated boobs. Yes, they were SO unattractive looking and feeling at first. And my entire chest was numb!
and hormonal. A surgery like I had was invasive in many ways. First anesthesia always effected me. I don’t detox properly genetically (MTHFR). Then I had my entire upper chest opened prodded and manipulated. My implants were yanked out ( well maybe skillfully removed sounds better) and there were actually scraped off my ribs, my muscles were pulled back down and sewn back together where for 13 years they had been
Trying to heal and be patient with my NOT attractive boobs was not easy! Without realizing it I gave myself lessons and reclaimed my own inner strength. I’m on a journey and needed to get a grip on myself! I am NOT my BOOBS! Here I had this big surgery to feel better and save my health and ended up doing just that ALL while I ended up insecure and vulnerable not liking what I looked like. Ugh! My brain was clearing up and my downloads of information was coming faster. Spiritually it’s been a big growth time for me. I know whenever I went through hard times it always opened more guidance gateways. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: SHE HUSTLES EDITION 2020
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{ ASK ROBIN HERTZ } “We all have our own internal strength but let’s be honest. It makes a difference to have your man reminding you that you are NOT your implants and they make you feel desired, whole and sexy!”
And this was no exception. My knowings are faster stronger and even clearer! More on all of that later! Now at 11 weeks my breasts are filling out and looking and feeling better. I’m still thinking fat transfer will be in my future but I can see normalcy and prettier boobs showing up.
We all have our own internal strength but let’s be honest. It makes a difference to have your man reminding you that you are NOT your implants and they make you feel desired, whole and sexy!
Everyone is different. Some women have more natural breast tissue and get a lift. They are thrilled from the start after explanting.
I’m very grateful for who I have in my life. Men and women. My daughter saw me and was so excited. She said my figure is Soooo much more flattering AND natural small boobs are in! Even Crystal Hefner the former playboy bunny had hers out!
Others have a slow recovery. For one thing, choose a surgeon that has been explanting for a long time and has experience in the best end results as well as surgically removing the implants properly and repairing your body.
I cannot wait to interview these woman and more on my podcast! Stay tuned because my podcast is coming!
Love yourself.
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Most men don’t understand that they play a role in how their woman feels about herself. Making her know and feel like she is the most beautiful woman and the only woman in your eyes will actually make her even more beautiful. She will love you even more for it!
Emotionally I’m on day 2 of not crying all day.
And if your a husband or boyfriend that loves a woman going through Breast Implant Illness then my advice is to support her every step of the way. Through the ups and downs. Wrap your arms around your woman and tell her how much you admire her strength and her beauty. Hold on tight and understand emotionally this can be as tough on her as it is physically. She may not even say anything but I promise it is not easy.
she is his wife. Sees her as more special and beautiful! Admires her for her strength. She wears her scars like a beautiful badge of honor now.
I’ll even interview the spouses ….. even mine! Love From Above!
A friends wife had a tumor on her face. After removal and over 13 surgeries later she is left with discoloration and scarring. Her husband told me he has never loved her more. He is even more grateful that
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{ WOMEN FOR WINESENSE }
WELCOME TO THE WOMEN FOR WINESENSE BY RITA PETTINARO
Rochester wine loving friends Would you like an opportunity to learn more about wine? Would you like an opportunity to network with other wine lovers and wine professionals?
and explore wine in a fun and welcome atmosphere, not to mention you get to meet the great Chefs that create wonderful meals that pair well with our selected wines for that month.
We are a dynamic group of individuals comprised of industry professionals and consumers who enjoy wine education and networking together! The Rochester chapter was formed in 1999. We are one of the most active chapters within the WWS organization. In addition to our monthly meetings, we hold several “special events” throughout the year for our members. The Rochester Chapter of Women for WineSense (WWS) welcomes women and men, from beginning wine tasters to professionals working in the wine industry to join us the second Tuesday of every month for our meetings.
Presenters at our meetings have included winery owners, winemakers, wine educators, regional sales representatives, local liquor store personnel, and our enthusiastic chapter members. Two
Women for Winesense of Rochester hosts events across all areas of Rochester, such as Inn on Broadway, Penfield Country Club, Midvale Country Club, Brook-Lea, Max Eastman Restaurant, Comedy at Carlson, just to name a few. This enable wine professionals and wine enthusiasts to come together 114
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examples of topics we have discusses: “Women in Wine” - focuses on the women leading the way in the American wine industry – winery owners, vineyard managers, winemakers “Wine at America’s Table” - focuses on how American wines and foods impact our daily life.
We have enjoyed wines from areas as diverse as Austria, Argentina, Australia, Balkan, France, Finger Lakes, Chile, Italy, South Africa and Alaska. We focus our monthly meetings on wine and food pairing sessions. We all know that food and wine have a magical love affair going on but we don’t often think about why that is. Women for WineSense believes that wine enhances and enriches everyday life. We provide women and men with unbiased information about the cultural heritage, social and health effects of moderate wine consumption as part of a healthy lifestyle. The organization is committed to offering outstanding educational programs and mentoring and networking opportunities to wine enthusiasts and industry professionals. Women for WineSense is the premiere wine education and networking organization for wine industry professionals and wine enthusiasts. http://www.womenforwinesense.org/ Now is the time! If you aren’t yet a
{ IN HER DEFENSE }
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{ WOMEN FOR WINESENSE } “Women for WineSense believes that wine enhances and enriches everyday life.”
you can sign up for a one-year membership for just $45, and enjoy all the perks of membership including local chapter events at discounted prices, deals at area wineries and wine shops, networking with industry professionals and more! Membership benefits include: • National and Chapter wine tastings at member discounted rates • Involvement in a proactive women’s organization • Listing in the upcoming online membership directory • Discounts at wineries and wine shops • Chance to see new places in Rochester and meet exceptional Chefs • Create long lasting friendships • Taste wines that you would otherwise never try • Learn about grapes from all over the world and how it effects our tastes. • Discounted entry fees to all chapter and national events
• Priority admittance to our monthly meetings • Quarterly Newsletter • Facebook groups and varies social media outlets. We have one exciting, additional benefit for being a member of the WWS Rochester Chapter! Members are eligible to apply for our chapter’s grant program which we award to an active member of our chapter annually to help you further your wine education. In addition, we are proud to announce that we contribute to wonderful organizations such as: • Sleep in Heavenly Peace • Center for Youth Services • Children Awaiting Parents • Homestead for Hope. The mission established in 1994 remains our mission today: to provide educational
and relationship building opportunities for wine industry professionals and wine enthusiasts. We have ten chapters across the United States with hundreds of members. 49% are wine industry professionals and 51% are wine aficionados. Each chapter caters to the needs of their members while supporting our common mission. Our chapters host well over 100 events per year ranging from intimate gatherings to learn about a specific wine region or wine style to professional development seminars for 100+ people. Many WineSense chapters contribute thousands of dollars each year in scholarships to women in wine-related fields of study. Please join Women for WineSense Rochester chapter and fuel your passion for wine!
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{ UNSTOPPABLE WOMEN }
NEW FEMINISM BY DR. PAM DENTON I PHOTOS BY KATRINA GRADY BRAND STORYOGRAPHY
THE CONFIDENCE TO CREATE THE FEMALE FORM OF LEADERSHIP Feminism gave women the space to be heard, be seen, and begin to feel valued. It was the rise of women together, feeling empowered that began to change the world. And now we have to fully accept the feminist courage to stand strong and continue to excel as women leaders in the masculine world that is still very limited in perspective, but shifting.
masculine world so we can transform these issues. In order to change, there are things that women do every day that have to be acknowledged and celebrated. We are the creators of the planet. We
In New Feminism I propose that women share confidence and come together as an evolving collective, leading with a heightened awareness of the new form of leadership, the female form of leadership. We need the confidence to lead in ways that help us rise to the top and lead in a female way, the female form of leadership must be honored and valued. And it is in the next wave of feminism that we will demand that the systems that no longer serve us are shifted and changed and we are integrated in a new way that values the Female Form of Leadership.
The world as we know it, in many cases, does not take into account alternate methods to accomplish the similar goals that come more naturally to women. It is my assertion that these methods are valid and must be embraced. Women have a valuable and real contribution to the business world, institutions, and politics. Feminine intelligence needs to be expressed, respected, and honored. Statistics show that women – more than ever – are in pain, suffering, sick, under paid, raped, shoved in a box, turned off, tuned out, and stifled. This is a huge problem, and it is not just an American problem: it is global. We must gain the confidence to share our viewpoint and be honored by the
our power back and carved out the path to our professional and personal rights. We stood up for diversity and asked for our power to be legalized. Feminism paved the way for women to step out into the workforce and ‘man up’. But it did not at all give us equal respect, pay, or rights. The women who have come before us paved the way to ‘equality’ but we have not made it yet. We are not fulfilled or in balance. In many cases we live in fear and old paradigms still govern us. We still lack confidence to embrace the female form of leadership.
manifest life. And our simple act of being female is the power that can set us free from lack and empower us to lead in new ways. Why is New Feminism so important? In the first phase of feminism we took
New Feminism is about the confidence to lead in feminine ways with intuition, creativity, collaboration and collective vision. The new phase of feminism must move us beyond fear and into empowered action, where we work together in community to make sure that the integrity of leadership ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: SHE HUSTLES EDITION 2020
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“How can I contribute to th female form of leadership? W is my value? Together we ar unstoppable. �
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is restored for the betterment of humanity. And we must become abundantly rich in our power and stand true to our feminine values without backing down. Feminism is unstoppable power and it is the future leadership. We are the creators and the change-makers and in the new form of feminism we must stand beside the masculine model, process through our anger, move beyond our leadership blocks and begin to lead with the patriarchy in ways that restores integrity to our governments, institutions and families. 128
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In New Feminism we are going to build a feminine model of leadership that includes your voice and calling. This model is collaborative, community based, win-win, intuitive, vulnerable, transparent, nurturing, natural, unfolding, flowing, connecting, creative, open, allowing, pleasure filled, and abundant. Ask yourself today, “How can I contribute to the female form of leadership? What is my value?” Together we are unstoppable. Access to confidence means we are willing to shine together no matter what! To
speak up and command the changes we seek as important. That we will continue on with our unique and authentic voice making sure that the world transforms with our vital input. Dr. Pam Denton, author and speaker on the Female Form of Leadership and Superpower Success in the Modern Age. Her latest book release, She Means Business: Activating the New Leader is available on Amazon and talks about the shift in women as business leaders and the necessity to reevaluate how we lead as feminists in the workplace. For more on Pam’s events visit her at www.pamdenton.com
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WOMAN OWNED BUSINESSES
SPECIAL INSERT
SHE HUSTLES entrepreneuHERS
-SHE SALON - DRINKS ON ME - FLEET FEET - JULIANA SALON - THE PAIN RN -LAKESIDE COSMETIC CENTER - AND MORE!
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{ SHE TALKS }
FOR ALL THE ENHTREPRENHERS BY KAIT LYN I PHOTOS BY MARISA NICODEMUS
This is for the entrepreneuHERs of Rochester, NY. A group where we can come together, share our business, network and establish close relations amongst ourselves ultimately leading to referrals of our businesses. SHE Salon & Academy would like to proudly open their space as an event center for these strong, like minded individuals. There is no charge to be part of this group. Positive encouragement and participation is a must! As leaders, we need a vision of where we want to go. Holding each other up and supporting one another as a team will only help to get us there ! “You can have everything you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” Join this group if you know you crave success. Join this group if you believe in your brand/ business. Join this group if you are a team player. Join this group if you want to support other women in your local community. Join this group, if you want to create a legacy. Join this group if you believe in women empowering women. Join this group if you believe in girl power! Join us on Facebook @ “SHE Hustles; EntrepreneuHERs” a group created by S.H.E. Salon.
Why is creating a network so crucial?? It is one of the most important business skills. Networking is not about the number of connections you have, but the strength in those relationships. Let’s talk about growing networks and building trust based business
about making sales. No one wants to spend time with someone who reaks of desperation. Instead, networking efforts should be product and service agnostic. If we want people to work with us there must be trust. We must offer something of value and expect nothing in return. If you don’t know someone, the best way you can build trust and build your relationship with that potential networking partner at the same time.... is to connect your buyer with them. By doing so, your giving access to someone that can add value to each member of the party. This is exactly what makes LinkedIn so popular in the business world. When you introduce a connection to someone he/she really needs to know; three things happen. One, the new connection is genuinely grateful. Two, the person that you introduced your contact to is flattered that you thought of him/ her. Three, both parties remember you as the connector.
relationships... As much as I love involving myself within the bubble of my own industry and profession; I want to meet more people outside of my immediate sphere of influence also. Networking is not
Trust takes time to build. With events like what we plan to offer, women with different backgrounds will come together and share their specialties, interests and passions to an audience of peers. Afterward time will be shared mingling and getting to know one another, sharing business cards, exchanging social media handles and building friendships. From this the hopes are to create a cross breeding ground for referrals. Leveraging our trust in one another ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: SHE HUSTLES EDITION 2020
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{ SHE TALKS }
as well as with our already established clientele to provide them with top notch services they may need and ask about or need to be connected to. At our SHE Hustles events in the pst we have met beauticians, nurses, nutritionists, photographers, mediators, financial advisors, therapists, accountants, boutique owners, and more. The relationships and referrals built from these meetings has been astonishing. In our Facebook group we are able to follow up with each other, stay connected, thank people for what 136
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they have done for us in the past, recognize and advocate for each other and the success we’ve received from one another. Making sure that people and their generous connections haven’t been forgotten and ultimately building more trust. We should always, always be developing our network. Even if you happen to be at a job you don’t like or care about. You never know whom you’ll meet, where you’ll meet him/ her or where you’ll be in another year or two. Unlike any single job or company, your network stays with you forever.
Why am I doing this ? Why am I going through grueling efforts of opening up my space, spending my time and pulling together a local team? Because I believe in it! I think if you were to ask any successful startup person, they would say the best part of building a billion-dollar company is working with the team they had and the customers they met. It’s all about the relationships you build on the journey, even if you fail. Hope to meet you soon! Our network, is our networth! Xo, Kaitlyn
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{ { SHE SHEHUSTLES HUSTLESENTREPRENHERS ENTREPRENHERS} }
FLEET FEET BY ELLEN BRENNER
Dedicated to fitting you and leading your fitness journey. Fleet Feet is the running and walking expert. Our core competence is fitting you for footwear, whether running, walking or just need a proper fitting footwear. With our FitID 3D Foot Scanning system we listen, we watch and we make sure to get you into the right shoe for you. Before your next run or walk, your next shift or your next move, stop by your local Fleet Feet and experience the magic of a proper fit. We are passionate and committed to powering the health of our community.
plus various training programs for beginner walkers and runners to those interested in participating in half or full marathons, in addition to many free group workout opportunities through their store locations. This duo also owns YellowJacket Racing who produces over 50 road and trail events in the Rochester region from 1 mile to 5K to 10K, half or marathon distances. These events include: Rochester
Through continuous training of our staff who not only provide epic service, but superior knowledge and an unmatched FIT process, we prove that our customers are our #1 priority every time. So, what does that mean? Our FIT process focuses on providing you with the right shoes, gear, and knowledge for you to move at your best whether that’s a 10-minute walk, running a marathon, or anything in between. Let’s begin here: Listen. Watch. Act. Plan. Owned and operated for over 16 years by Ellen Brenner and her husband and partner Boots. Together, with their staff they use their knowledge and energy to provide unparalleled, unique experiences to impact and shape healthier communities. Fleet Feet offers a multitude of footwear, apparel and accessories to enhance your workout 138
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Marathon, Flower City Half Marathon, Webster Turkey Trot, Dirt Cheap Trail Races, Winter Warrior, Pumpkins in the Park, Reindeer Run, Cupid’s Cup and Shoreline Half Marathon & 5K, plus year round kids events or those 12 and under. OUR VALUES: Loyalty | 100% Customer Focus | Positive Energy | Teamwork | Respect With each customer we want to help find
a solution for you beyond footwear, such as a proper sports bra fit, perfect apparel for the weather, terrain and distance of your effort, an array of accessories from electronic GPS watches, nutrition and hydration solutions, safety equipment or gear that you just need to have for your exercise. Ellen’s specialty is in training programs, marketing and PR, working with the coaches of the programs and marketing team to help get the Fleet Feet message to the public plus engaging participants in their workouts and races. Ellen has a degree in Mathematics, thus is also the CFO managing all the financial activities, plus with her apparel buying background works with all vendors to purchase the perfect store apparel to meet customers fit, fashion and function. Boots is known in the run industry for his footwear knowledge and is vetted by vendors to help solicit feedback in the creation of shoes for runners, plus his 25 plus years background in the industry provides him expertise in footwear and accessory buying. His racing background offers their event production company, YellowJacket Racing, the ability to create unique events for any fitness enthusiast and ensures that each race offers the beginner or the experienced athlete to feel like a superstar. Together they work with their staff to offer them training and autonomy to make sure each customer gets the perfect solution in product, training or events to meet their fitness needs.
{ { SHE SHEHUSTLES HUSTLESENTREPRENHERS ENTREPRENHERS} }
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{ SHE {HUSTLES ENTREPRENHERS } SHIFT+CONTROL } “Together, with their staff they use their knowledge and energy to provide unparalleled, unique experiences to impact and shape healthier communities.”
Fleet Feet is not your typical retail environment. Each store has its own personality, but with the same expertise and knowledge to help provide exceptional service to each customer. No appointments are necessary for the Fleet Feet Outfitters to serve you. Each Outfitter takes the time to provide one on one service for each customer, to ensure their needs are taken care of. 142
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Stop in to Fleet Feet today and let us help you get fit! Fleet Feet 3 Rochester Locations www.fleetfeetrochester. com ARMORY: 155 Culver Rd | Rochester, NY 14620 | 585.967.3338 RIDGEWAY: 2522 Ridgeway Ave | Rochester, NY 14626 | 585.270.4334 VICTOR: 237 High Street Extension |
Victor, NY 14564 | 585.433.0320 BUFFALO Location: 2290 Delaware Ave | Buffalo, NY 14216 | 716.332.3501 www.fleetfeetbuffalo.com Ye l l o w Ja c k e t R a c i n g w w w. yellowjacketracing.com
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Live your smile to the fullest.
TM
INDRA QUAGLIATA, DDS
COSMETIC DENTISTRY D E N TA L I M P L A N T S INVISALIGN ZOOM WHITENING S A M E D AY C R O W N S & B R I D G E S PRF INJECTIONS PRF MICRONEEDLING BOTOX & FILLERS
578-207-2159
•
IQDentistry.com
C A L L TO DAY F O R A F R E E C O N S U LTAT I O N
@IQ_Dentistry @IQFamilyDentistry
IQ DENTISTRY 300 White Spruce Blvd. Suite 134 Rochester, NY 14623
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KARA KARAOGUZ, INTUITIVE LIFE COACH BY KARA KARAOGUZ
Kara Karaoguz, Intuitive Life Coach, passionately supports and guides ambitious women to love and empower themselves while healing trauma and abuse, moving through anxiety so they can create a life beyond their wildest dreams!! Â
Kara helps to figure out what’s really going on and make a decision whether to stay together or part ways. Want to connect the dots, put all the puzzle pieces of themselves together beautifully to provide a more sound,
There is a process she supports clients in moving through when working together that is based on 20+ years of Spirituality, Personal Development, her background in Psychology and Nursing, Trauma Informed Healing, Yoga Instruction (bringing in somatic movement), Subtle Body Energy Healing, and her gifts as an Intuitive Empath!
Wounded to Worthy-8 week live Virtual Group Coaching program providing you with a safe, sacred container to take your healing journey to the next level! This program gives you a new awareness of who you have been showing up as and allows you to do the deep healing work to energetically clear blocks, leaving you feeling more aligned with your truth and thus: more magnetic and happy. Activate your healing and empowerment. We start mid March 2020.
Kara specializes in working with women who want to be more intentional and present with their own healing, want to show up more fully for themselves and others and deeply desire growth and positive transformation. Kara also works with women who have been feeling stuck, confused, frustrated, anxious with the way things have been going in life, love, or business and feel like they want to save their relationship. 146
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Online Learning: Topics of Gratitude, Connecting to Your Intuition, learning about Your Nervous System and The Polyvagal Theory https://karakaraoguz.mykajabi.com/online-courses More in-depth offerings: Sensuous and Sweet-21 Day comprehensive self study program to reboot relationships, improve intimacy, up-level and shift your awareness around love to allow more of it into your life!!
Email to enroll. 1:1 Embodied Private Coaching in 3- and 6-month packages https://karakaraoguz.mykajabi. com/intuitive-custom-coaching-11-embodied
comprehensive understanding of why they are the way they are? Want more happiness, fulfillment and peace out of this one precious life?
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ kara.karaoguz.1 Instagram: www. instagram.com/kara_karaoguz Email: kara@karakaraoguz.com
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SHIFT+CONTROL } { SHE {HUSTLES ENTREPRENHERS } “ Join the 21 Day comprehensive self study program to reboot relationships, improve intimacy, up-level and shift your awareness around love to allow more of it into your life!”
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BEAUTY & THE BROW BY ANGELA MAZZA
Owner of Beauty & the Brow, Angela Mazza is a Rochester native. She began her business in Rochester NY but life took her to Syracuse NY, where her business blossomed. Many of Angela’s clients from Rochester still travel to see her knowing that she delivers flawless work and always has their best interest in mind. Angela has extensive training in 3D microblading and shading, combination brows, ombre’ brows, lip tinting, teeth whitening, and her famous needle free filler which she was featured on Channel 9 News for her innovative techniques with the device. She was the first to bring the needle free filler to Upstate NY and now is a trainer to other businesses for the service. Angela is always traveling to continue her education and learn new skill sets. She goes above and beyond for her amazing clients and proves it in her work. Angela was in the dental field for 7 years before she got into the beauty industry. When asked Angela what her friends and family thought about her leaving the dental field and opening up her own business, she replied with “It was
most definitely a surprise to them, no one saw it coming, but then again neither did I.” Angela didn’t fully leave the dental field behind seeing as how she still is
We asked Angela, What is the best advice you can give to someone who is following their dreams but still is working the 9-5?, she replied with “Make the jump, you can’t think about it, because if you do think about it, you won’t ever do it.” From reading all of Angela’s reviews, we gathered she is compassionate, understanding, and really works with her clients to give them exactly what they ask for while obtaining real results. You won’t ever be treated like just a number when you get a service done at Beauty & the Brow. Angela always checks in with her clients throughout their healing process to answer any questions and stay up to date. We then asked Angela what her hobbies are and what she likes to do for fun?, she replied with “I love to ride my motorcycle, go boating and jet skiing, basically anything that has a motor is fun to me.” So when Angela isn’t busy with her day to day clients you’d never guess that she’s an adrenaline junkie and has her own motorcycle. Along with her business, her hobbies are also supported by her close family and friends.
able to offer cosmetic teeth whitening to her clients. Her products are all natural and do not cause sensitivity which is something Angela prides herself on.
We asked Angela who supported her during this journey and if there were any obstacles along the way? She replied with “My boyfriend for sure he’s been supportive from day one, also my close friends and family.
{ SHE {HUSTLES ENTREPRENHERS } SHIFT+CONTROL } “Always do your research whether it’s with my services or someone else’s. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, and go to someone who will genuinely care, you can learn a lot about someone’s business by reading their reviews.”
There were many obstacles along the way, there were days when I thought about working in dental again but then I realized I was putting myself out of my comfort zone and this feeling was completely normal. I’m sure there will be many more obstacles along the way, but with the right support system you can do whatever you put your mind to.” When also asked Angela, what do you want your current and future clients to know about services, she replied with 154
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“Always do your research whether it’s with my services or someone else’s. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, and go to someone who will genuinely care, you can learn a lot about someone’s business by reading their reviews.” Beauty & the Brow, Owner Angela Mazza is making waves all over the upstate area, and always ready to collaborate with other small businesses. Her main goal is to make her clients look and feel their absolute best by enhancing their natural beauty. We
asked Angela, What she hopes to achieve to our readers, and she replied with “I really hope to inspire other women to let go of their fears and just go for it, whatever their “it” may be.”
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DRINKS ON ME BY COURTNEY CAMPBELL-COOPER
Drinks On Me provides a experienced and professional premium beverage services. We cater to any occasions offering a wide range of alcoholic and non alcoholic choices to choose from. My name is Courtney and we would be honored to be apart of your special event, wedding, birthday, corporate party, etc, no
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matter the size. Our bartenders are licensed and insured as well as skilled to fit the needs of any venue. Allow Drinks On Me to take your occasion to the next level. Where everyone will get VIP treatment. Party with your guest while we do the rest.
Call (585) 250-6700 m.me/BartenderTripleC bartendertriplec@gmail.com https://drinksonme.business.site
NEED PUBLICITY/ PRESS/ VIDEOGRAPHY/ PHOTOGRAPHY FOR YOUR EVENT ? EMAIL VISIONARYMINDSNY@GMAIL.COM
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LAKESIDE COSMETIC CENTER BY DR. CHELSEA OBOURN
What is it like starting and running your own Cosmetic Center? The only way I can think to describe this is daunting and exciting. My husband and I moved back to the Finger Lakes area a year and a half ago after finally finishing training. I was born and raised in Victor, NY. After completing undergrad, I began medical school in Brooklyn.
traditional medical training: how to become an entrepreneur. I observed the inner workings of a high-functioning Cosmetic Center and was challenged to think as a business owner. Let me be clear, this was completely foreign to me. However, I developed a desire
After four years of medical school, we moved to Pennsylvania for residency training. Those following five years were some of the most mentally and physically grueling years that I have experienced. Residency in Head and Neck Surgery was equally challenging and rewarding as I learned the intricate anatomy, physiology, and pathology of this area of the body. It was in residency that I was introduced to the subspecialty of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, and it was this subspecialty that I fell in love with. I was subsequently honored to be chosen for a prestigious fellowship in Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery under the directorship of Dr. Edwin Williams III in Latham, New York. This time in fellowship was invaluable in many ways. Not only was I able to train with one of the most accomplished and talented surgeons in the field, but I also had the opportunity to learn what is not taught to us in
offers comprehensive surgical and nonsurgical cosmetic procedures. Some examples of surgical procedures include facelifts, necklifts, browlifts, eyelid lifts, otoplasty, rhinoplasty, and more. Examples of non-surgical treatments include injectables, chemical peels, facials, other skin care treatments, CoolSculpting, etc. My desire is to provide patients with superior care and an experience they’ll remember. I want each and every person to feel comfortable, cared for, and heard. Although we love taking care of all patients, I especially desire for Lakeside Cosmetic Center to become a haven for women. It will be a place that empowers women and helps them become the version of themselves they desire to be. I strongly believe that the goal of any cosmetic procedure should be to enhance one’s inherent beauty while maintaining a sense of self.
to open my own Cosmetic Center and a strategic plan to make this happen. Lakeside Cosmetic Center has now been open and operating for a year and a half. We are a small business with big aspirations. Lakeside Cosmetic Center
Lakeside Cosmetic Center is located at the north end of the beautiful and scenic Canandaigua Lake. We are set to move into our new, state of the art facility at 195 Parrish Street, Suite 260 Canandaigua in the coming weeks with an official Grand Opening scheduled for April 30, 2020. We are so excited to be serving patients in the Finger Lakes region and welcome all inquiries.
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195 PARRISH ST, SUITE 260 I CANANDAIGUA, NY 14 162
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4424 I PHONE: 585-905-3414 I FAX: 585-394-5942
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JULIANNA SALON BY KARA KARAOGUZ
Julianna Salon and Spa was established in 2013 and offers a variety of services including hair, nails, and waxing. We are committed to empowering you by refreshing and renewing the beauty you already possess to enhance the style that is uniquely you.
established in 2013 and offers a variety of services including hair, nails, and waxing. Stop in and be
Conveniently located in the South Wedge district, Julianna is a a block from where Gregory Street and South Avenue meet. We are just down the street from Highland Hospital and around the block from Highland Park.
We are an established salon & spa located in the south wedge offering a unique feel from a newly remodeled space to amazing customer service. Book an appointment online or stop in for your next treatment! 30% OFF for first time clients when you mention RWO.
Julianna Salon and Spa is committed to empowering you by refreshing and renewing the beauty you already possess to enhance the style that is uniquely you.
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(585) 376-0483 juliannasalon@gmail.com 654 South Avenue Rochester, NY 14620
We believe that health, wellness and beauty are intricately linked. Relax at Julianna Salon and enjoy our services.
personally pampered by Julianna herself.
Julianna Salon and Spa was
Owner, Julianna has been in the hair
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business for almost 10 years now. She grew up in Rochester and loves working in the trendy South Wedge area. She has owned the business since 2013 and loves every minute of it! Julianna has training in Goldwell color, cutting, natural nail services, waxing and sugaring. She enjoys working with people, and making every individual feel beautiful walking out of the salon.
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COMMERCIAL REAL ESTATE WITH DARA BY DARA RENNERT
My name is Dara Rennert with Keller Williams Commercial. I want to give you some insight into commercial real estate in upstate NY and well as share who I am as an entrepreneur. To fully understand the connection, I am going to take you down a history of my life. I am born and raised in Philadelphia, a city that is vibrant commercially and diverse, propelled my entrepreneurial spirit. Growing up in a historically rich city that was pivotal for so many countless advancements, helped define me as a person, a leader and entrepreneur. I began my first business at the age of 21; a catering business called Dara’s Delights. This grew to include a small café inside a local community center named Bella’s Bistro (affectionately named after my first daughter). Upon relocating to Rochester, I was self-employed in frozen foods. It was my responsibility to track bulk and packed inventory, accept inbound trucks and coordinate weights and loads for outbound trucks. I eventually began working in property management. I enrolled in a real estate licensing course to focus on property management. Life shifted and I had to transition to the primary financial support and sole care-giver to my 5 children. Without family nearby, my work hours were limited to business hours (aka school time for all those working moms). I dove with both feet into commercial real estate, with a passion of helping people and an understanding of business. I have spent years studying, learning and 168
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practicing commercial real estate and have recently become a NYS certified instructor of Commercial real estate. Collectively, here are some stepping stones to get started. Many people are unaware of what encompasses Commercial real estate; It is defined as Retail, Office, Land, Hospitality, Industrial and apartments with 5+ units. While each of these have their individual subsets and specifications, there can be overlap and intertwining
as well. It is important to understand that every opportunity in Commercial real estate is truly unique! There is definitely opportunity to get creative with financing, space/property use, grants, contract structure and so much more! I pride myself on helping people who would traditionally overlook commercial because of a misconception that commercial is unaffordable or only for big business. Selling is always an adventure! Motivations vary for people who sell properties and this enables good agents to
structure unconventional deals. Selling may include holding the mortgage, holding a portion of the down payment, including equipment/inventory as assets etc. Sellers may need to sell to move into a larger location or because they inherited the property from relatives. At times, it will be a purely financial decision where the market is high and the property is in demand. Another instance may be that the seller has maxed out their depreciation and they need to restart with a new property. I always advise sellers that they should prepare for a rollercoaster ride, because you never know who will buy the property. It’s often who you least expect. Typically, buyers are cognizant of their business needs. Business owners are the experts in their respective fields, but not in commercial real estate. It is always beneficial for a buyer to have an expert in the field on their side. Buyer’s agents are usually paid by the seller, which means that the buyer pays no additional fee for having the protection, guidance and access to properties by being represented. However, the first step is to clearly define their needs vs wants and prioritize their absolute needs. A thorough needs analysis helps streamline the process and set the goals for purchasing. Financing options differ per industry type, lender and county. Buyers can often qualify for a commercial loan or utilize loan types with a down payment as little as 10%. When leasing, remember that the landlord wants you! Each Landlord will have a different buildout package that is offered to new tenants. Every location will
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{{ SHE SHE HUSTLES HUSTLES ENTREPRENHERS ENTREPRENHERS }} “Whether it is a start-up business, second location or expansion, it is critical to understand the economics of the lease and how it will affect the business.”
When leasing, remember that the landlord wants you! Each Landlord will have a different buildout package that is offered to new tenants. Every location will offer a variety of attractions and have different zoning and use restrictions. Whether it is a start-up business, second location or expansion, it is critical to understand the economics of the lease and how it will affect the business. It is super important to have an agent on 170
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your side who will navigate the process for you and be a strong negotiator for your business. Selling, buying or leasing will present many opportunities that need to be evaluated individually. Having data of demographics and competition locations are the foundation for making informed decisions. Knowing all of your options is crucial to your success, so don’t ever
be afraid of asking questions! I welcome the opportunity to speak with you and interview for the position to be your commercial real estate expert!
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ROY ART GALLERY BY CATHY CONSER I PHOTOS BY DEVIN MACK
One’s journey through life is the summation of all experiences. My family and I had the good fortune to live and travel the 13 countries of Europe. We embraced the different cultures, foods and way of live. While in Paris I focused on The Louve Museum in Paris, France.
available from artists all over the world to purchase in our country. I place the art in everyday places like businesses, restaurants, doctors offices, homes for sale, hospitals and homeless shelters. If you see and fall in love they are available for sale.
I decided upon retirement in 2018 to start Roy Art Gallery in honor of past, current and future artists of all types.
In June, 2019, Roy Art Gallery was invited to participate in Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan as the only USA business representing an artist. Mr Roy was chosen to represent India in the 30 country International Exhibition for the Shanghai Cooperative Organization (SCO). Animesh was awarded “Excellent Work 2019” for his portrait of Little Ram.
My mission is to educate that works of art is to bring beauty to everyone. Art is a universal language across mankind. It touches the heart and soul.
My company was created with the vision to have original artworks
Animesh Roy became my favorite first client in 2018. That’s why I named my company in honor of his international achievements. That’s called creative selling. Animesh was born in New Deli, India. He received his BAFA from New Delhi College of Art, India. An internationally well-known oil painter in the Impressionism discipline. Animesh has participated in various international art shows in China, Poland, Belarus, Iran, Kyrgyz Republic, Kenya snd the USA.
I was fascinated by thousands of artifacts, masterpieces from Matisse, Rodin, Vincent Van Gogh and the famous Mona Lisa. It obviously changed my life forever. I embraced the appreciation of the opera, classical music and even rock and roll.
Yet access to art is exclusive and expensive. It is my belief art should be experienced by an individual regardless of their ability to purchase, or pay to view. For humanity to change and become more accepting of different cultures and belief systems.
I hope you stumbled upon an amazing piece of artwork where ever you travel.
I was raised to value service, and sharing to others less fortunate. I reduced the normal commission rate by 50%. The artist receives the full price. I receive 20% and the buyer is required to donate 10% of the retail value to an environmental charity of my choosing.
Upon his departure he returned to the USA to teach and study the Finger Lakes region in upstate NY. Animesh exhibited his artworks at the Canandaigua Art Show at the request of the Chamber of Commerce. Making it the first International show in the City’s history. He loved the area so much he plans a return trip during late 2020.
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“My mission is to educate that works of art is to bring beauty to everyone. Art is a universal language across mankind. It touches the heart and soul.�
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MEET DR.QUAGLIATA BY INDRA QUAGLIATA
IQ Family & Cosmetic Dentistry of Rochester, New York, offers more than dental care — Indra Quagliata, DDS, knows how important your teeth are to you but also understands how all of your bones and muscles need to be healthy for great oral health.
explains how the team can help you reach your best and safest results.
appointment online or call IQ Family & Cosmetic Dentistry today.
Treatment plans are devoted to keeping your visits as short as possible with
IQ not only offers general dentistry services including: Invisalign, Implants, root canals, TMJ, Crowns, Bridges, and more. They also offer advanced facial aesthetics like Botox, Juvederm and Kybella all located in Brighton, NY.
Dr. Quagliata uses a combination of medical training and facial aesthetics for full mouth care. IQ Family & Cosmetic Dentistry is special not just because of the people at the office, but also because of their high-tech approach to dentistry. Your time and wellbeing matter to Dr. Quagliata and her staff. At IQ Family & Cosmetic Dentistry, you have the benefit of having your teeth restored and repaired in the unique way that Dr. Q u a g l i a t a shapes, contours, and creates. The office is equipped for same-day restoratives, such as crowns and implants. Dr. Quagliata also provides honest assessments of your teeth and
Make sure to check back as Dr Guagliata will be bringing to you a monthly column called “Word of Mouth” with new tips, high-tech procedures and even some incredible new and innovative techniques.
quick, long-lasting results. If you’re ready for your best smile and want a friendly, energetic, and excited dentist to help you on your way, book your
For more information you can contact them at 300 White Spruce Blvd. Suite 134 Rochester, New York 14623 (585) 207-2152 www.iqdentistry. com/?utm_ source=fb_hp
Spirituality: Spirituality: The Missing Link In Mental & Emotional Wellness Join Beth Lynch for a passionate discussion on Spirituality, Mental Health from a Spiritual perspective & ways to heal, live & love from your Highest potential. You will be guided into a meditation followed my messages from Spirit: What is the Spirit world trying to teach us about mental health? Why is the relationship with our Soul important in the human experience? How have we become a fear based society? Let's make the shift now individually & as a group! Lynch has written 4 books on the subject including Donald's Journey Childrens Audio & Book. She is passionate to speak on Spirituality & more to educate all ages on Meditation & Spirituality. Beth Lynch is a Spiritual Medium, Meditation Teacher, Intuitive Consultant & Author. She has written & recorded 4 books on Spirituality & Meditation. Lynch is a graduate of Delphi University at Patricia Hayes School of Metaphysics and Arthur Ford School of Mediumship. She is certified under Mark Irelands distinguished group of professional Mediums. For over 2 decades has helped families understand & heal grief. Her sensitivity to connect to loved ones crossed over has inspired & helped many understand life, death & all that is in between.
FOR MEDITATION & MORE OR TO SCHEDULE IN PERSON, GROUP OR REMOTE SESSION VISIT bethlynch444
888.271.4487
italk2angels
/bethlynch444 for meditation, podcasts & more.
info@innerlightteaching.com
Before
After
Are you considering a home remodel, redesign or refresh? Do you have a vision for your new space, but you’re not sure how to pull together all the right elements to make it beautiful, functional and harmonious? Are you overwhelmed by all the decisions that need to be made and finding the time for it? Are you afraid of making costly mistakes or getting blindsided by unforeseen costs?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you would benefit from working with me. I will provide you with direction, recommendations and resources that are invaluable and help you avoid costly errors and delays. And I will give you the confidence to step beyond the familiar, and see your space in a whole new light!
BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL TODAY! (585) 737-7672 Web: www.janisreedinteriors.com Studio: 811 Ridge Road, Suite 103 Webster NY 14580 Thurs 12 – 5:30, Sat 10 – 2 and by appointment
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{ LIVING CONFIDENTLY }
WHAT DO FINE WINE AND FINANCIAL PLANNING BY ANGELA VAHUE
HAVE IN COMMON? Do you love wine? Next question: Are you financially confident? This one is a little harder to answer, right? To be financially confident means that you feel good about your current financial situation and future outlook. If this sounds like you, you’re a confident planner. Research shows that 21 percent of Americans are Confident Planners when it comes to their financial lives.1 (The remaining 80 percent of Americans are stressed-out, largely due to financial worry.)
harvesting, storing and bottling. Through continually refining their process, vintners can improve their final product. For example, a maker may use machine harvesting in the field, and produce a wine that earns an 85 rating — “very good.” Yet if this maker transitions to harvesting by hand, he’s more likely to earn a coveted 95 rating for “classic” wine excellence.3
no one craved the years-long experience of producing it. Thankfully, there are vintners around the world who begin each season with a harvest plan based on years of experience in the field. Over the course of the year, they gauge the ever-changing factors that may affect the harvest — like the levels of sun and rain, for example. No growing plan is identical from one harvest to another.
Like those high-performing vintners, confident planners, have model behaviors that can help them optimize outcomes. And like vintners, anyone — Day-to-Day Decision Makers, Ambitious Spenders,
Likewise, there is no one-size-fits-all financial plan for everyone. (You can find out your financial confidence type here.) Confident Planners enlist the experience of financial professionals. Through working with a financial professional, they gain a custom plan for their financial future. Additionally, financial professionals help confident planners adjust to changes in the market over time.
In exploring answers to the questions above, you may be surprised to learn that the worlds of wine and financial planning have a lot in common. HIGH-QUALITY INGREDIENTS The best wines in the world begin with topquality ingredients. Starting with the land, vintners plant premium grapes in rich, verdant soil. And not all land is of equal value. For example, the celebrated wines of the Burgundy region in France come from land priced at around $5 million per acre.2 The land is the first factor in the quality of wine. For confident planners, the same principle holds true for a strong financial plan. One of the best ways to begin is with a plan that includes products like life insurance, disability income insurance and a retirement strategy.
or Retirement Realists — can adopt these practices. One of these behaviors is to work with a financial professional to develop a financial plan. Next, Confident Planners understand that it takes time for a financial plan to come to fruition, just like wine needs to age. During the process, they live within their means and stick to the long-term plan. They understand that their efforts will pay off in the end, as it will with the vintage.
IMPROVE THE HARVEST OVER TIME Wine lovers know that their favorite vintage doesn’t happen overnight. On the contrary, it’s a long, steady process of planting, growing,
THE MASTER VINTNER Think back to a recent occasion when you enjoyed a bottle of wine among friends. Even if the wine was unforgettable, it’s likely
A DISCERNING PALETTE Wine enthusiasts can easily sense the difference between vintage Burgundy versus Two-Buck Chuck. For Confident Planners, a difference in financial planning can be just as evident. In both wine and finances, quality inputs, time and professional guidance can potentially help build a product to savor. For more information please contact : Angela P Vahue Financial Specialist P. (716) 817-7109 x 237 F. (716) 817-7117 600 Delaware Avenue Buffalo, NY 14202 angela.vahue@allianceadvisorygroup.com
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FALICIA FRACASSI Fashion forward entrepreneur with an extreme passion for all things beauty, fashion, and entertainment. As Founder and CEO of Fracassi Lashes, an eyelash extension speciality boutique, Falicia Fracassi joyfully contribute to making women look and feel more beautiful everyday. Fracassi Lashes now has eight locations and expanding. Falicia Fracassi is focused on boosting the selfesteem of Rochesterarea young women through heart-warming business practices. Her recent partnership with Building Better Fo u n d a t i o n s h a s generated tons of buzz throughout Rochester neighborhoods. Every fourth Sunday of each month Fracassi’s natural hair salon, Blow Dry Lounge offers young women ages 7 to 18 free hairdos upon a simple email recommendation by any community member. Her passion for professionally enhancing the beauty of women started on Monroe Ave. in Rochester. One day she woke up and abruptly quit her 9 to 5 office job and immediately started investing in her dream of becoming a business owner in the beauty industry. While in school studying communications and earning an 182
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esthetician license, Fracassi began to develop clients in Rochester who were already familiar with her passion for beauty and style. Fracassi’s faithful client base has resulted in her expanding her business to 5 eyelash extension boutiques throughout the state of New York and Florida. While she often travels back and forth from Rochester to
As an experienced and highly sought-after esthetician, Fracassi has worked with dozens of celebrities over the years. Her client list is quite impressive--having provided beauty services to stars like Megan Markle, Beyonce Knowles, Serena Williams and almost every single lady from the Real Housewives franchise. Fr a c a s s i s a y s t h a t all business owners should take a similar approach if they are truly invested in their clients and communities but also concerned about overcoming the barriers of povertystricken communities like Rochester.
FRACASSI LASHES
Florida to manage her boutiques, she proclaims a special kind of love for doing business right here in the Flower City. “Rochester inspires me to do more.” Thanks to Rochester, in the coming months, her goal is to define a plan where her local corporate social responsibility initiative can extend to Buffalo, Syracuse and her Florida locations.
Fracassi Lashes was founded by Falicia “Fracassi” Garries in 2009 via her passion for beauty and makeup, Falicia’s meticulous nature demanded more of the industry, especially along the lines of safety and professional application. Falicia Fracassi insightfully addresses the lack of not only trained professionals but establishments that specialized in lash care and maintenance. With safe routines and the ambiance and environment to match, Fracassi’s first location was born on Monroe Avenue in Rochester New York where
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{ WOMAN WHO INSPIRES } “Rochester inspires me to do more.”
Falicia Fracassi quickly identified her niche and with the Fracassi’s team developed a two year plan to open four more locations. Greece Ridge mall in Rochester New York, Walden Galleria Mall in Buffalo New York, and in west Harlem’s Frederick Douglass Blvd. 184
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In a business such as Fracassi Lashes, everthing is revised and given thought, from our licensed estheticians and cosmologist to the labs where our products & adhesives are created. With our focus on infrastructure and expansion you can count on seeing more locations in the near future,
including our Fracassi Lashes Express. “Bat your lashes Girls”
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{ THE { COVER HEROINSTORY EPIDEMIC } }
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{ GET VITALIZED }
VAMPIRE FACIAL MISCONCEPTIONS BY ALICIA HICKS
The Vampire Facial is not a new procedure, but in recent years it has become increasingly popular. In 2013, Kim Kardashian posted a photo of her face covered with blood to promote the vampire treatment which sparked many conversations around the world. Now, more and more customers are asking about this state-of-theart treatment.
dangerous? We often hear people assume it is a dangerous and painful procedure. During the vampire facial procedure, the patient will receive a numbing cream to help reduce and subdue any
With a name like “Vampire Facial,” the treatment may sound daunting. Based on the terms used in the definitions or the images that are seen online, there are a number of misconceptions about what occurs before, during, and after the procedure.
MISCONCEPTION 2: Is it
In nearly all cases you can go to work the next day. Following the procedure, one will experience an incredible glow and improved texture of their skin. At most, you will have between 12 to 24 hours of mild redness with minimal-to-no swelling. Here at Vitalize Medical Center, we specialize in vampire facials. It is a phenomenal way to boost your appearance, reduce fine lines and wrinkles, and give you a younger, more natural appearance. Give us a call at 585287-5299 to meet with one of our experienced team members to see if this procedure is right for you.
MISCONCEPTION 1: Do I have to drink my own blood like a vampire? A c o m m o n misconception is that you may have to drink your own blood. Don’t worry, the answer is no! The nickname “vampire facial” comes from the part of the procedure in which small traces of PRP, or plateletrich plasma, from the blood remain on the face directly after the facial.
MISCONCEPTION 3: Do I have to take off work for this?
pain that may come about. Those who do partake in the facial often have mild redness for a brief period after the procedure.
Alicia is the ONLY licensed medical professional in Upstate NY trained and certified to perform the Vampire Facial by the Cellular Medicine Association and Dr. Runels himself.
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{ CHILDREN AWAITING PARENTS }
INTRODUCING LAURI KNIGHT BY LAURIE MCKNIGHT
As the executive director for Children Awaiting Parents (CAP), a Rochesterbased advocacy, fos-ter/adoption agency for nearly 50 years, I am excited about the great work we are doing for youth. CAP began in 1972 as a grassroots group of adoptive parents who wanted to change the system. This dedicated group worked hard to advocate for visibility for longwaiting youth in the foster care system and to ensure these children had an opportunity for a forever family. Eventually, the local agency be-came national, advocating for thousands of children. Its mission was to rectify the systemic problems that prevented youth from being adopted before they aged out at age 18, or signed themselves out of care without an adoptive family, family supports, or resources. CAP became a licensed adoption agency in 2017, named after Honorable Judge Donald J. Corbett who helped made it possible for the agency to assist families through the entire adoption process. I joined CAP in October 2018 as the executive director, bringing my history and expertise in family engage-ment, foster care, prevention, and adoption. I immediately aspired to increase programs and aware-ness, and deepen CAP’s impact on community youth. Nationally, approximately 440,000 youth are currently in foster care, with about
20,000 of them aging-out of care every year without positive familial supports or any family connection. Within 18 months of departing foster care, youth become homeless at astonishing rates. Youth aging out after age 18 with-out a family system or resources in place rapidly become homeless, unemployed, incarcerated, preg-nant, or addicted. I knew we had to do more. CAP is responding to these grim statistics with the creation of a pilot program called Project SSAFE (So-cial Support
for Advancing Future Endeavors). Aimed at youth aging out of foster care without any support, Project SSAFE works with referred or self-referred youth to provide needed connections from caring volunteer families who help prevent these young adults from falling through the cracks in the system. Project SSAFE is my passion. I know it has the potential to prevent or deter entrance or re-entrance into a system that does not serve the needs of agingout youth. Currently, I am engaging
the commu-nity in a solution-focused effort to provide family connections and support for these young adults. One approach is CAP’s Faith in Children, a faith-based recruitment program to find families for older youth. Our Rochester area churches are eager to participate in this endeavor. My community partners and I are developing ways to assist these young adults to encourage a brighter and productive future, and to change the system for youth in care. When I started my career in human services in 1996, I never thought I would be here in Rochester with a mission to make a significant and meaningful difference in the lives of young people. My lifecareer plan did not include having children of my own, or working with children, dreaming instead of being a big New York City attorney. Today, not only have I worked with hundreds of youth throughout the New York State foster care system and their families, but I have raised five children (two adopted) plus an inherited “heart child” through the foster care system. When I became “mom” for my aged-out “heart child,” I completely understood the need of young adults for family and for guidance. I can honestly say I made a difference. With my degrees in human services, early childhood education, and criminal justice, in addition to the years of experiences, I have navigated all aspects of the systems.
{ CHILDREN AWAITING PARENTS } “ Nationally, approximately 440,000 youth are currently in foster care, with about 20,000 of them aging-out of care every year without positive familial supports or any family connection.”
I am passionate about changing the outcome for youth. My life’s work is to create an organization that offers young people all the skills and supports they need to be successful adults. I want them to help make their community a better place for being part of it. My goal is to manage and grow the agency into a business that gives all young people a future, and creates more community programs that com-plement CAP for all young people. 196
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I am equally passionate about Rochester, and down the road, I see my future in more grassroots work once CAP is successfully established and ready for the next chapter. As a leader who believes in grow-ing people, providing opportunity to all, and, as a proponent of collaboration, I truly believe that to-gether we can make a difference for our young people in Rochester and surrounding communities. At Children Awaiting Parents, we are always in need of foster/adoptive families,
funding support, and marketing our programs to the community. We welcome the community to contact us. We are located at 274 North Goodman Street (in Village Gate Square), Suite D103. Or call 585.232.5110, or visit us online at www.childrenawaitngparents.org.
Finding Families for Waiting Kids. For more information contact: 888-835-8802 or 585-232-5110 info@capbook.org ChildrenAwaitingParents.org
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{{ SHE IN HER OWN ENTREPRENHERS WORDS } }} SHE{ HUSTLES HUSTLES ENTREPRENHERS
MEREDITH DAWES BY MEREDITH DAWES
Do you remember what you were doing on December 10, 2011? I do, It was a day that changed my entire life and my families lives forever. When life changes so radically it doesn’t seem real. Until it is… In 2011 I was working in the SICU as a clinical leader, I wasn’t the person who complained about having to go to work, I enjoyed my job. I spent so many hours there my co workers were my family and some of my best friends. I was continuing my education and wanted to open as many doors as I could for myself. In August of 2011, my husband and I had our first born son Jake. Becoming his mom was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Well yes the birth of my son was a life changing event. The life changing event I am getting to only took 3 seconds. I was in labor for almost 24 hours. My husband (Jerry) and I were out running errands one night, Jake fell asleep in the car and I really wanted to stop at one more store before heading home. Jerry waited in the car and I went into the store. Only I never made it inside. I fell in the parking lot, my leg buckled and snapped and I was on the ground. The whole thing happened so fast I didn’t realize how distorted my leg was and kept trying to stand. A stranger ran across the parking lot yelling “stay down”. Thats when I looked down and saw my leg was dislocated, my foot was turned inward and I could see that my 198
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ankle was broken. In those moments I was so calm, I wasn’t crying. I was more concerned about where my son was. Suddenly I was surrounded by people. I was taken by ambulance to the hospital, I had emergency surgery that night. I woke up in recovery surrounded by friends from the SICU and thought the worst is over. Over the next several months I had some intense physical therapy, I was ready to heal and get back to my life. My recovery seemed to be going well, I just started to have these tingling burst in my leg. I told the surgeon and he assured me that I was “just healing” and the tingling would subside. I continued my physical therapy despite the excruciating pain it was causing me. Days turned into weeks and weeks into months with rising pain levels. The pain I was feeling wasn’t subsiding but getting worse. Six months past before the surgeon recommenced I see a specialist because I wanted answers. I knew this was anything but normal, I hoped for the best but tried to prepare myself for the worst. It was the spring of 2012 I was going to receive a lumbar sympathetic nerve block into my lower back. This is an injection of local anesthetic that can relieve pain in the lower legs or foot. This procedure can be diagnostic or therapeutic. It would turn out to be both for me. Immediately after the injection, I started to cry. The doctors and nurses frantically rushed to my side
asking wear the pain was. I could barley get the words out “there is no more pain”. I was so relieved. I made an appointment for a follow up. Just 16 hours later the pain came creeping back, worst than before. I was in complete agony. One injection turned into 15. They would all at first take the pain completely away but it was not sustained, then came the nightmare diagnosis RSD. Even with my experience as a Surgical ICU RN it took my five long years to fully grasp this diagnosis and all of the challenges it would present for my family and I. The treatments I was offered simply did not work and further diminished my quality of life. Thats when I started to research alternative medicine. I felt at that point I had nothing to lose. It was an expensive and frustrating trial and error period and I wasn’t having much luck. Then I stubbled on CBD (before it was in every gas station). What I found in the research was literally mind blowing. Looking at it as a RN it looked promising, but I was skeptical as a patient that has been suffering from chronic debilitating pain. I decided to dig in and learn all I could. The next thing I had to do was obtain a medical marijuana license because it wasn’t even legalized yet. That was relatively easy but expensive process. Then products, what to take, how much to take. Guidelines didn’t exist. It took me 2 years to find high quality products I could actually afford and
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{ HUSTLES IN HER OWN WORDS } } { SHE ENTREPRENHERS “Do you remember what you were doing on December 10, 2011? I do, It was a day that changed my entire life and my families lives forever.”
find the dosage that would work for me. Next I happily started cutting the prescription medications that clouded my mind for so many years. I was able to cut my med load by 75% over the last two years. The mental clarity and stopping the damage that the prescription medication were doing to my body was worth the battle. 200
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Now I want to share everything I have learned in my battle against RSD. I have created The Patient Advocate, a concierge pain management service tailored specifically to each patient. I am helping people in our community find the doctors and treatments they need to live a more functional and full life with chronic depilating conditions. If you have a chronic
debilitating disease that is unresponsive to conventional treatment there is hope. Book a consultation and sit with me one on one to create your wellness care plan that may change your life.
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{ LIFE IN BALANCE }
A GENTLE YOGA FLOW FOR WINTER MUSCLES BY KAITLYN VITTOZZI
“Winter is a season of recovery and preparation.” – Paul Theroux I appreciate winter; time for introspection, laziness rest, and belly warming foods. While I try to embrace the season, I find that Winter takes a toll on my body. I bundle up for snowshoeing or long Saturday dog walks and try to march proudly through the snow, chest open. What I do a lot more of this time of year is running to and from the car with hunched shoulders, neck buried into my chest trying to keep the cold out; this often leaves my neck, shoulders and back achy. This season’s extra indoor time may also result in more time on the phone and leave you with “text neck” or a tender low back from more couch time. Then there are the blizzards. You are 30 days into your New Year’s Resolution – hitting your workouts hard every day after work. Then there is that random Wednesday storm and you can’t make it the studio so instead you spend the night cursing traffic and yourself for not moving to Florida when you had the chance. Before you open that bottle of wine and take to scrolling social media, try this yoga flow, no props or mat required. You can do it on your living room floor – as pictured here – or the first six postures you could even do in your bed first thing in the morning. If you want to see these strung together, I’ve recorded them on my Instagram account tozzi_yoga Remember to breathe easily as you do these postures. This isn’t a yoga prescription, just some poses I’ve learned from my 204
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many amazing teachers over the years that work for my body this time of year. This is generally gentle on joins but adapt these moves as needed. This can be done in about 15 minutes if you do each pose for a minute per side, but if you have more time - repeat the sequence for a longer movement practice. 1. Hold hands with your feet: Odds are, your feet have been in boots and might
season of recovery and preparation. (If you have another resolution, intention or matnra you are working with – use that instead.) You are working with your body, not against it. 3. Reclining twist: Make a goal post with your arms, pressing backs of the forearms on the surface beneath you. Bend your knees and place your feet flat on the ground. Wiggle just your hips to the right, lift your shins up off the yoga mat and let them roll to the left, coming all the way to the ground, pillow or blanket. Your right shoulder may lift off the ground, that’s ok. Let your neck and head land wherever is comfortable. Feel your breath and notice if your chest muscles start to stretch and your back softens closer to the ground. (Bring hips back to center and repeat on the left side.) 4. Reclining hand-to-big-toe pose: Lie flat on your back and extend your left leg straight up toward the ceiling, holding behind your left thigh if possible. Press your left thigh forward into your hands. Right knee can be bent or extended.
be tight and sore. Thread your fingers through your toes on one foot. If you like, you can gently roll your ankle in circles or spread your toes for a little extra resistance. If grabbing your foot isn’t accessible to you, you can purchase inexpensive toe separators online. (Do both sides.) 2. Mantra: Pause and take a few easeful breaths. Repeat to yourself: Winter is a
5. Let the left leg roll over your body to the floor or a pillow on your right side. If you feel a lot of sensation in your low back, use your hand to check in with your hips. Can you get the left hip on top of the right? Arms can open to the sides or over head. (Repeat #3 and #4 in on the right side.) 6. Seated cat and cow variation: Come to a comfortable seated position, sit up tall. If sitting flat on the floor isn’t comfortable, you can use a chair or sit on a pillow or
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{ NEW INBALANCE THE ROC } LIFE IN “ Remember to breathe easily as you do these postures. This isn’t a yoga prescription, just some poses I’ve learned from my many amazing teachers over the years that work for my body this time of year.”
blanket. Open your right arm out to the side and create that goal post shape again by bending your elbow. Breath in and open across the chest, squeeze your right shoulder blade in toward your spine. On your next breath round the spine and let the right elbow come toward your left knee (it doesn’t have to touch!). Use your abdominal muscles and maintain your breath as you repeat the two motions. (Repeat on the left side.) 7. Low lunge: Come to your knees and then step your right foot forward by your right thumb, stacking the right knee over the right ankle. Connect the whole right foot including the heel to the ground and press down. Lift your torso up. As you 206
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lunge forward into the right leg, keep hugging your legs in toward one another, so you feel some work between your two thighs. I think of this pose every time I catch myself from falling on ice! Squeeze the legs and the abs in to keep you up right. Place your right hand on your right thigh, stay here OR stretch your left arm over your head and lean to the right. (Repeat with the left leg forward.) 8. Cobra variation: Lie on your belly with your thighs close together. Make your goal post arms again. Brace the abdominals, squeeze the shoulder blades together and lift the chest, arms and head away from the ground any amount. Lower down easily.
9. Child’s Pose: Press your hands by your waste. Bring your big toes together and let the knees widen, relaxing your chest toward the ground. Arms can extend out long or rest by your heels. Do you feel recovered from what came before this, or prepared for what comes next? If not that’s ok, be with that feeling. Do you have exercises that get you through cold months? Shoot me a note on Instagram and let me know! Kaitlyn Vittozzi is an E-RYT 200 Yoga Teacher completing her C-IAYT Yoga Therapy Certification. She can be found at Balance Webster and the Y of Greater Rochester.
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{ MIND, BODY, SPIRIT }
PROSPERITY BY ALANA CAHOON
BECOME THE MONEY GODDESS It’s tax season time. If you’re an entrepreneur like me, you’ll be scrambling to get all of your documents in order. This includes your receipts, bank records, and a system to put it all into place. If you’re smart and lucky, you’ll have an accountant by your side to assist you. Money. It’s a funny thing. The flow of currency. A piece of paper that makes a difference. Representing power.
STEP #1 Who are you? Self discovery is pertinent in almost every aspect of your life. Money included. How you think of yourself and how you show up in the world make a difference. Let’s examine that. Self-worth. Do you believe you are worth it?! Do you deserve comfort? A steady stream of income? Extra money to play with? Mirror
Transactions can appear complicated depending on your mindset. I’m one of those people who are challenged. Even having my spreadsheets neatly organized with columns, numbers create havoc. I can feel them rumbling around in my stomach. Thank goodness I meditate.
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How do you show up in the world? Take a look at yourself right now. What are you wearing? Are you composed? What is your posture saying about you?
As a Money Goddess, I attract abundance naturally. I’d like to say easily. But it does take some effort. In fact the more you can focus on the law of attraction, the more effective it will be.
Everything about your appearance, and I mean everything is a reflection of what you expect from the outside world. Go ahead, wear your jeans and T-shirt. Walk around in your sweats. But know that you will be treated like someone walking around in their jeans and T-shirt or sweats. Which means very casually and not very seriously.
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STEP #2 See it In order to start attracting something to you, you need to see it first. Clearly in your minds eye. Heck you can even write it down, or find a picture of it, print it and post it someplace you can see it often. Whichever way you choose, you need to clearly visualize what it is you want to attract to you.
Money Since were talking about money. Think of that right now. Imagine money. Imagine it flowing to you. You can see it as hundreds of dollar bills flowing toward you. Or piling over you.
I’m what you call an intuitive money girl. Let’s shift that to a Money Goddess. I kind of like that. I think it fits. You’re welcome to try it on as well, girlfriend!
BECOMING A MONEY GODDESS
How you present yourself to the world sends out a direct vibration of what you expect to come back to you.
Let’s try that now.
In the end I always come out in the black. Once again thank goodness!
So where do we begin. Let’s start with you!
True, there may be some exceptions to the rule. Especially if your jeans are really nice and your T-shirt is neat and new.
I’d like you to think about how much money you would like to come into your life over the course of the next year. Go ahead and do that now. Now, add a zero at the end of it. And tell me how it feels. Notice I mentioned money coming into your life. Not the money you were earning. Know that there are many sources of money. So as you see money coming toward you, see it coming to you easily. Unless you’re really keen on working really hard, long hours! When you came up with your dollar amount, $75,000 for instance, what was your reaction
to increasing that dollar amount by one digit? Were you comfortable with the concept of bringing $750,000 into your life over the course of the next year? These are serious questions in regards to how the law of attraction operates. If a dollar amount is too low, you may simply ignore it. On the other hand if it is too extravagant, you may be intimidated by it. Play around until you find the dollar amount that suits you. This brings us right back to tax season! Look at the columns of your accounts receivable and accounts payable. Did you spend more than you earned? Are you in the black or are you in the red? Coaching These are just a few of the ways you can tap 212
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into the Law of Attraction. But it’s easy to forget about, to lose track of, to lose interest in! That’s where coaching comes into play. Someone who hold you accountable, who guides you along your path. I’ve worked with coaches myself who have helped me to attract more money into my life. It works! It especially helpful to have someone hold you accountable. A coach to remind you what your goal is. To help you set your intention clearly. And to celebrate your victories. Be specific with your requests before sending them out to the universe. Because they will come back to you. If you ask for a lot of money without explaining how it will come to you, you may not like the source. If you ask for abundance in your life without
being specific, you may suddenly get a whole lotta stuff you don’t want! One time I realized I had no baseball caps. Hear me out on this. And I sent it out to the universe that I wanted baseball caps. Within the year I had seven. I don’t even know how I ended up with them! Point being, be specific on what you want to attract into your life. Nothing brings me more joy than watching my clients break through the six digit income plateau. You Can too. Alana Cahoon is the founder & creative coach of Grow 2 B U, LLC; guiding women and men to self discovery and business formation. Grow your business. Expand your mind. Heal your soul. www.AlanaCahoon.com
Prosperity Coaching
Grow Your Business . Expand Your Mind Heal Your Soul Transform your lives & relationships
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ENTREPRENEURS BY DENISE “KARMA” CLIFFORD
I try not to compare myself to others, yet find others like me and enhance the passion that makes one hustle. Although within this, isn’t it the innate instinct that guides the mind to the comparison of self to others? To take what we need from those we surround ourselves with and give back something they may be lacking. Learn to teach by doing,learn to take criticism and embrace competition. For this is where the fun is, and it is all this that makes you stronger, wiser and well rounded. And respected. If there’s one thing I’ve learned as an entrepreneur is that you need to be respected. I emerged upon the unknown this past year and in doing so have come in contact with individuals who call themselves entrepreneurs, seasoned at that. Yet respect is earned not given. Much like the way I am still earning mine in the new world as a business owner. Each day I look for ways to reach a new level. I seek out those whom share the same mindset. Like minds can conquer empires. I silently weed out the toxins that can infiltrate and spread like a disease which halts, and implants the parasite of words spoken by jaded tongues. I refuse to let fester on my unsoiled turf the rotten fruits of wasted labor. Talk won’t get you where you need to be, it is integrity and respect in 216
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a community where you need to flourish. Organically, a series of events we play into or around will pan out and where we need to be will fall into place. Not while watching and hoping to ride upon skirt tails of promises. By work and ethics and the hands branded with scars of yesteryears work. Comparing self to others, only in hopes that you can attain the
compete with no one but yourself. Compare for notes on what and who you need to be, throw away the rest. Talk is cheap and you don’t need to talk anyone down to attain success and respect. The so called entrepreneurs and hustlers who do, aren’t in fact who they claim to be. Why, you ask do I say this?
same status as those you admired, you respected. Ignoring those who were there to watch you fall, only now in their own failure are they the natural stepping stones you can use to rise above the broken dreams they had hoped for. The dreams they never dared work for.
I’ve seen it, heard it and felt it. Someone feels threatened by what you do, they need to exclude you. I welcome the competition, thrive on it. As it only brings more knowledge, of what you need to do to be better. I’m honest and will come at you face value and that can scare someone, and so I’ve had the finger pointed my way. It’s ok, it’s the learning curve. For that one finger your pointing at me the other three are pointing back at you. And so I will work, and I will listen. I will watch and I will pick my team leaving you there, just like the kid in gym class no one wanted. I will surround myself with the individuals who, like me know what it takes to hustle. Hustle to the top, be the best version of what it is I do. I’ll take you with me, if you want. But it won’t be easy. You see, you have to want it, and work for it, you have to be respected.
Work, hustle it’s all the same to me. Work hard, build up your team,
Be the leader you would follow and others naturally follow you. Wait
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KARMA SPEAKS }} {{ SHIFT+CONTROL “ Comparing self to others, only in hopes that you can attain the same status as those you admired, you respected.”
to respect someone until they earn it from you, not as their right of passage. The road traveled may not be as thick with experience as yours, yet paved with daddy’s money and or an empire built on days gone by worked hard by hands no longer here. Given in hopes that the same passion hides behind fake smiles and greedy paws. Your walk of shame back and forth down a road of trial and errors paves dirt so thick it’s deemed 218
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concrete. Every step rewalked, just to get it right. To earn your keep, earn respect. The road you walk is paved with pride, sweat and people who cheer you on. like spectators at a parade. Because they admire your work, respect you. They are your pack. And you are on the sidelines for them too. Cheering, cutting out those who want to heckle. In the end there’s no need to compare. Being an entrepreneur is to be respected, emulated and admired. Being a leader
is natural, not learned. Moral to my story is, anyone can be a leader, but not everyone can be respected. Anyone can bark orders, but not everyone can be in control. Most people can talk behind your back, drag your name through the mud hoping to gain status. But the true leader is the one who proves worth by silently watching, learning, and gaining respect.
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{ THE 6 PILLARS }
WOMEN’S DAY BY ERICA CUMMINGS
March is Women’s History Month, commemorating and encouraging the study, observance and celebration of the vital role of women in American history. 2020 is particularly important as it marks the 100th anniversary of the passage of the 19th Amendment, guaranteeing and protecting women’s constitutional right to vote. This historic centennial offers an unparalleled opportunity to commemorate a milestone of democracy and to explore its relevance to the issues of equal rights today. This year, International Women’s Day will be celebrated on Sunday, March 8th, and the 2020 themes are “I am Generation Equality: Realizing Women’s Rights” and #EachforEqual. The International Women’s Day (IWD) website proclaims: An equal world is an enabled world. Individually, we’re all responsible for our own thoughts and actions - all day, every day. We can actively choose to challenge stereotypes, fight bias, broaden perceptions, improve situations and celebrate women’s achievements. Collectively, each one of us can help create a gender equal world. Let’s all be #EachforEqual. Additionally, their website provides a wealth of information and resources, including a guide to planning an IWD activity within your community or network. Also check out this powerful short film, That Little Voice, part of 220
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Speak Up for Inclusion by RBC, which we’re currently watching and sharing on repeat. International Women’s Day, a global celebration of the economic, political and social achievements of women, took place for the first time on March 8, 1911. Many countries around the world celebrate the holiday with demonstrations, educational initiatives and customs such as presenting women with gifts and flowers. The United Nations has sponsored International Women’s Day since 1975. When adopting its resolution on the observance of International Women’s Day, the United Nations General Assembly cited the following reasons: “To recognize the fact that securing peace and social progress and the full enjoyment of human rights and fundamental freedoms require the active participation, equality and development of women; and to acknowledge the contribution of women to the strengthening of international peace and security.” Here are some empowering ideas for celebrating International Women’s Day and Women’s History Month: • Write a thank you note to a woman that inspires you. There is seriously nothing more meaningful than telling someone that they’ve made an impact in your life. Writing it down in a note makes it so that they can keep the words you said forever. Hand-deliver the note or send it in the mail and add a big ball of sunshine to their day! • While you’re at it, write yourself a love
note sometime this month--to sit down and tell yourself how great you are. If you want to take it to the next level, seal the letter in an envelope, self-address, and put a stamp on it. Ask someone to mail it to you sometime in the future (but not too soon!). We bet that letter will show up in the mail on a day when you need that self-love most! • Watch these Inspiring TED Talks for Women. • Teach her Courage through empowering books. Check some great options out here. • Donate your time, talent or treasure to organizations that support girls. There are three major ways to show an organization that you support their mission: give them time by showing up to serve, talent by using your skillset to help out, or treasure by making a financial contribution. Volunteering and making donations with girls shows them how valuable giving back to the community is and makes them far more likely to continue the tradition as an adult. Find a service organization in your community or check out these awesome orgs you can donate to online! • Support a women-owned business in your community. In Rochester alone, we have a large number of female entrepreneurs—think service providers, boutiques, food and beverage establishments, the opportunities are endless. • Mentor a woman and share your experience and expertise with her. This could be through a structured mentorship
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program, by making yourself available for questions to newer members of your team, or simply taking a neighbor or family member under your wing. • Watch a film or documentary about history-making women. A League of Their Own, Hidden Figures, Suffragette, to name a few. • Share your story through a creative outlet. Women’s stories need to be heard. Submit a piece to your favorite 222
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publication. Start a blog. Or simply post a photo on social media to accompany your own words. • Dig into women’s history, be it online, checking out a book from your local library, or an in-person educational event—like this History Happy Hour: Rochester Women, on March 10th. The Harmony Financial Wellness Group and Strength in Numbers network is dedicated to the empowerment of women. Helping women know and
leverage their worth. Empowerment is a process, and through this process, we all can become agents of change. Erica L. Cummings, CFP® Senior Vice President - Financial Advisor Harmony Financial Wellness Group at RBC Wealth Management harmonyfinancialwellness.com (585) 423-2141 erica.commings@rbc.com
2nd Annual Gathering of Angels Event May 3, 2020 from 10 – 5 The Arbor Loft 17 Pitkin Street, Rochester, NY Sponsored by Spirit and Crystal Connections www.spiritcrystalconnections.com
Join us as we gather to call in the angels to uplift and educate our community with messages, healing, and workshops. Angel Messengers, psychics, mediums, harp, crystal & energy healers, and an array of vendors will be on hand. Admission is just $5.00 and includes: ➢ Free presentations and workshops throughout the day ➢ A guided meditation area offering different meditation techniques every hour ➢ A supervised kids table with fun activities Refreshments for sale: ➢ Cash-and-carry box lunches ➢ Assorted snacks ➢ Coffee, Soda & Juice Bar There’ll be plenty of free parking and an elevator for accessibility. For information contact Vicki Snyder-Young a 585-461-2669 www.gatheringofangels.weebly.com Like us on Facebook!
{ VISIONARY MINDS }
SHERRY GENGA BY TAMMY REESE
The Shattered Oak, Overcoming Domestic Abuse and a Misdiagnosis of Mental Illness,” by Sherry Genga is published by Safe Goods in Sheffield, MA is based on a true story. It is an open and honest reflections of personal experience with domestic abuse, the profound realities of recovery, and a startling, and ultimately triumphant, resolution. This book is a valuable resource for those in need of help and reveals how one heroic soul faced extremes of abuse and trauma with love, and with determination recovered her life. Can suicide be in your family’s future? With suicide you never know what thoughts are racing through the saddened mind. Sometimes we are unable to fathom why our friend, sibling, mother or father committed suicide. People around them assumed they were so happy, always laughing and smiling, never revealing signs that they were so depressed. Look at Robin Williams the famous comedian, who was always passing a joke. I feel suicidal people wear a mask and rarely share their true self or feelings. Whether they are ashamed of their depression or feel alone where they cannot trust anyone, they keep their thoughts a secret. Maybe some suicidal people want their privacy and don’t have the courage to ask for help when their mental state manifests the thoughts of choosing death? They may feel like they are in a vacuum, with darkness slowly seeping in. Can suicidal minds feel blurred and even upside down, bringing them to the brink of insanity? In successful attempts, their demise is silent and not very forgiving. I know first-hand as a family member experienced several suicide attempts. As I described in the book, The Shattered Oak, the victim was a recipient of domestic abuse from her husband. She took solace under the strong oak tree in her front yard. As she 226
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sunk further into mental illness, the oak too became distress and ill. In Barbara’s case she was lucky because she survived three suicide attempts. As we know some people aren’t so lucky. I think most of us do occasionally struggle with depression, but most filter it out and let it go. Sometimes struggling makes us stronger and gives us perspective to let go of our past and absorb our mistakes
along the way. Many of us struggle with self-worth issues, but normally we rise to the occasion and succeeded. Depression can intervene in the thought process and cause us to focus on the negative. Psychologists continually try to understand why a person’s negative view of their situation
outweighs their desire to live. Clinical studies have shown that stressful situations can bring on a form of mental illness where the person is not totally in control of their decisions. For the families of those victims many questions go unanswered. Surviving suicide attempts and addressing mental illness can alter our viewpoint. Life is meant to present choices from our experiences that often change us for the positive. Barbara recovered after living through heartaches and burdens that transformed her future. Even those of us who live relatively normal lives, can learn that we have the sole capability to make beneficial choices in life. It’s how we elect to see, digest and live our lives that matters. The survival of the victim and her family in The Shattered Oak inspires us and reminds us that if we are struggling from thoughts of suicide due to domestic abuse, there are resources available. Family members should watch for the warning signs and prevent the victim from distancing themselves from everyone. Suicide is on the rise and it is time we looked more closely at stress as a primary trigger for a variety of conditions including domestic abuse. Unfortunately, in the The Shattered Oak story, Barbara did not share her thoughts of suicide with her therapist. She kept them secret by choosing the “silent path”. From my perspective, I think many times people wear a “mask” and don’t always reveal their true feelings. I do feel it is normal to struggle with depression, if we can filter it, then release it, and then let it go. I also feel that as we learn from our struggles, we embrace important life lessons. This gives us our strength and creates our independence, and because of this, allows us to release our regrets. This powerful word, “independence”, can help us heal, when we let go of our past and embrace the fact that our mistakes give us strength along the way. As described in The Shattered Oak, Barbara’s
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{ VISIONARY MINDS } “The Shattered Oak is a top selling book alongside of bestsellers and is a must read for yourself or to share as a therapeutic inspiration for others.”
life was not unlike many. I always knew her story needed to be told. She experienced a dysfunctional childhood of physical and mental abuse. and rolled into her marriage that was filled with domestic abuse and alcoholism. In addition, she had to deal with verbal abuse making her feel “less” than worthless. As years went by, she was able to find the courage to get a divorce thinking all her problems would be fixed. She thought she would be happy but instead she became severely depressed and full of confused feelings of self-deprecation. All her problems felt magnified and she became emotionally drained losing her ability to focus. She became depressed and in a downward spiral towards a nervous breakdown. Because of the strain of being a single mom and shouldering the house responsibilities she found herself becoming more isolated distancing herself from her children and because of this she becomes further aware that she is slipping away from herself and her children. As outlined in The Shattered Oak, growing up as a child, Barbara’s life was filled with abuse and neglect, similar to her husband’s broken childhood. This similar pattern manifested in a relationship of love, fear and intimidation. Because of this, Barbara was put in a vulnerable situation, half loving her husband and the other half fearing for her life. I think many women find themselves in the same situation as Barbara. They overlook warning signs that start early in a relationship. Jealousy, possessiveness, showing an angry temperament, or using a raised voice are all toxic behaviors. For Barbara, it was when prior to her marriage her fiancée showed uncontrollable rage when she was talking with a male friend. Barbara choose to ignore his signs of toxic behavior because of his charming personality and the deep love she felt for him. This prevented her from having a clear mind, not realizing that missing these warning signs would have a 228
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negative effect on their entire marriage. Since this is a true story, you can relate to her private thoughts, fears and regrets. Because of her deep religious faith and the profound love that she had for her children, she found the survival skills to power through her web of chronic illness. A metaphor reveals the “spiritual” connection Barbara has with the vibrant old oak tree in her yard. As Barbara slowly weakens from her husband’s verbal and physical abuse, her oak tree also deteriorates, dying from the inside out like Barbara’s slow emotional demise. Relating to the story line in The Shattered Oak will inspire you to choose embracing a positive outlook on life creating hope, self-worth and gratefulness. This old oak tree became a symbol of strength throughout her deepest darkest times. I am a firm believer of the principle that everything happens for a reason. The more I share Barbara’s story, the more I see the need to heal the delicate minds that are so unbalanced. If I knew I could not fail, I would spread the word on paper and post it on every oak tree, every bulletin board and talk to every ear willing to listen. I have learned so much about writing Barbara’s story and feeling her emotional pain that I have mapped out my own path for a more positive life. Our visions need to stay clear and only reflect on what is important, without focusing on the negative. Valuable knowledge can be extracted from our past by absorbing our mistakes along the way. Life is meant to grasp at our experiences, learning how our impressions can change us for the positive after living through our heartaches and burdens that transform our future into proud accomplishments. I have experienced trauma myself first-hand by growing up in a house full of domestic violence but thankfully ended by the salvation of divorce when I was seven.
Since writing this story, I have learned that I have the capability to make my own choices in life. It’s how I elect to see, digest and live my life that matters, realizing laughter and smiles can inspire us to get through our deepest darkest days and free our souls from depression. Domestic abuse, suicide, and mental illness all can be managed with the right resources if we are all willing to help inspire those who are in need. Barbara needs her oak tree to stay strong through the story. Just like her, I find my peace and serenity in nature. The calmness in the air helps me to understand how I can respect myself by discovering my clever spirit along the way and unearthing my inner peace. I hope you as a reader of The Shattered Oak, can benefit from the story to help you survive your own life’s journey. Some would say there is strength in numbers. Reach out to those who you love and provide comfort and protection. Seek shelter with friends if you are struggling from spousal abuse. Fear alone can take from one’s innocence. Fearful of your next attack can weaken your soul. Remember, some stories are meant to be a secret, and some stories are meant to be forgotten. Some stories need to be heard, to help the survivor live. May you all find comfort and peace in your voice that must be heard. May your prayers and your strength heal your life misfortunes. I wrote The Shattered Oak with the intention of empowering hope and strength to those who need help with domestic abuse, depression, suicide or mental illness. Reassuring them all that they are not alone in this situation and that there are resources available. I am currently married with two beautiful children residing in my hometown and am at peace. If you enjoy a book that you can “experience” then The Shattered Oak is for you. The first-person narration without any doubt, creates a sense of pronounced visions that come alive and create emotion deep down
within your subconscious mind and soul. Barbara’s is a powerful story to treasure about survival, perseverance and a depth of love only a mom with her faith can endure and conquer. The Shattered Oak is a top selling book alongside of bestsellers and is a must read for yourself or to share as a therapeutic inspiration for others. The Shattered Oak ~ A once vibrant oak tree in her yard began dying. Voicing cries of help through the dead leaves and moss-covered branches. Inside the house Barbara too was in crisis, the recipient of her husband’s anger and rage. As time passes Barbara can no longer stay strong. While she deals with her own demons, the oak too weakens. Based on a true story, this woman takes us inside her emotionally charged existence, letting us
feel the anguish of domestic abuse, divorce, attempted suicides, and incarceration in a mental institution. A savior finally unravels the mystery surrounding her dysfunctional mental state and leads her on the path to recovery. This book is a must read for anyone going through domestic abuse or depression, or family members who are trying to make sense out of the situation. “This is an excellent book. We as physicians, must always question that the obvious answer may not be correct. Medicine is a career of learning, unlearning, and learning anew as new diseases and cures are discovered. We should never avoid questioning a diagnosis or treatment as was well demonstrated by this book.” - Mark Tuttle, MD.
the book in the mail, opened it, glanced inside to see how it begins. Did not move until I finished it. Definitely the author’s narration is hypnotic. It is taking some time to return to my normal state of mind. This may sound weird, but I am describing as best I can what I have just experienced. I have been a psychotherapist for more than 30 years and I have written several selfhelp books. And I have read many, many more. Sherry Genga’s The Shattered Oak is like nothing else I have read with the one exception being the novelist, William Styron. This book is only 120 pages. Regardless of your motivation, I suggest that you read it. -Thom Rutledge, author of Embracing Fear. Tennessee
Amazon book review:
If you are interested please visit Barnes and Noble website, Amazon, Safe Goods Publishing or www.theshatteredoak.com
“This book possessed me” I just received
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{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE }
GENEVA HALF MARATHON BY ERIC R HEIECK
OUR RACE DESCRIPTION: The Geneva Half Marathon is a 13.1 mile road running race that starts and finishes on the sparkling shores of Seneca Lake, located in the City of Geneva, New York. The race takes you by the new Geneva I Love NY Finger Lakes Welcome Center, past premier restaurants and shopping in Downtown Geneva. As you approach mile 1 you will start a gentle run climb as you pass South Main historic row houses and the grounds of Hobart & William Colleges.
After a challenging climb and amazing view you will begin your decent back into the City of Geneva, the benches on South Main and success at finish line on Seneca Lake. Smile, and breathe in the fresh air, your life will be forever changed. DATE: The second annual Geneva Half Marathon & Relay presented
BENEFIT: The course will be challenging, but a day to remember. Proceeds will benefit both the Geneva Boys & Girls Clubs and Geneva YMCA. DESCRIPTION: The Geneva Half Marathon is a 13.1-mile road running race that starts at the lakefront, brings you around our revitalized downtown, by Hobart & William Smith campus, through beautiful vineyards and orchards ending at the NYS Taste Center on Seneca Lake. SIGNUP: Sign up today @ www. genevahalfmarathon. com We are on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram Thanks for your time! Eric & Sarah Heieck GHM 2019’
Seneca Lake will always be near as you proceed on to the grounds of Hobart & William Smiths Davis Gallery Houghton House. As you exit Houghton House you be delivered to a residential area that brings you through the City of Geneva and into the Town of Geneva.
by Red Jacket Orchard’s will take place on 8.16.2020, along the shores of Seneca Lake situated in the heart of the Finger Lakes.
As your run continues you will pass by farms, Slate Rock and return into the area of White Springs. Your adventure will continue as you proceed into a taste of wine country.
DISTANCE: Runners will be able to choose between either the Half Marathon or can partner up with another runner to split the 13.1-mile distance.
Ea t . Sl e e p . Ru n . Geneva
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{ FOR A GOOD CAUSE } “There’s so much to see on this breathtaking course in the heart of the Finger Lakes. Take your time, look around, and learn all there is to know about the 2020 Geneva Half Marathon.️”
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{ WOMEN OF STRENGTH }
MINDY DOUGHERTY I was born in New Castle, Delaware in a hospital December 8, 1976. I grew up with a single mother raising my brother and I. My father was not around as he was addicted to both his job and his drugs. I was a scholar athlete in high school and part of Phi Theta Kappa in college because I kept my grade point average above a 3.5. Since I was 5, I could remember watching brain surgeries and wanting to be in the medical field, so I joined the Army 4 days after high school. My first duty station was in Illesheim, Germany. I was a combat field medic and my military occupation study (MOS) was called 91B for short. It was at my first duty station that I would be sent to Bosnia by a train to Tazar, Hungary then a humvee convoy to Tuzla West, Bosnia where I had contracted appendicitis and pancreatitis at the same time due to a parasite eaten at one of our meal times. Due to the severity of the illness, I was flown back to Germany, and my appendix was taken out in a small German Hospital called Bad Windsheim Krankenhaus. Had I showed up 5 minutes later, the doctors told my friend who carried me in, that I would have been dead. I struggled with pancreatitis for 8 years and despite all of the procedures, steroid injections in the spine for pain, taking portions of my pancreas out 1 section at a time, nothing worked. I have had multiple surgeries to attempt to correct the pancreatitis (inflammation of the pancreas) called peustow, whipple, then finally a pancreatectomy to where the doctor took out my full pancreas, and duodenum while 238
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rewiring my intestines which had been rewired with the two previous pancreatic surgeries. During my 8 years of pancreatitis, I went to nursing school to make a difference, despite being sick throughout. I wanted to help others get a better
understanding of what they are going thru. Especially those with similar medical issues. I learned how to properly ride a bike and would go on to train for a 65 mile and 100 mile ride called Tour De Cure. It was a group of riders that have Diabetes riding for a cause to find the Cure. In 2014, I suffered a bilateral ankle fracture along with a tibia/fibula fracture. When I went into the Veterans Administration Medical Center Hospital in San Antonio, Texas I was tortured for four months by
the Orthopedic staff and surgeon. I went from 137 to 107 lbs in a very short time. I called some friends of mine to help me out, and they drove 16 hours straight to get me, from Colorado, and they drove straight to Texas. One of the nursing assistance warned me about what was going to happen, and advised me to leave immediately. I had been blessed with their knowledge, and they called their own family members, and friends to help me pack as quickly as possible to leave my brand new house that I had just bought, my relationship that had recently fell apart as we had been together for 3 years with his child that I had grown to love from the age of 2-5, and leave to go to a new city that I knew nothing about to start over. When I first arrived to Colorado, many doctors would not look at me because once a Veteran is taken care of at a VA Medical Center, civilians do not want to take the leftovers because it makes them responsible once they have taken over the care. So I called a friend of mine and paid for her flight to come get me and helped me drive to Oregon where I would finally have the metal taken out, received proper physical, occupational, speech, pelvic floor exercise, and stem cell therapy, in addition to hyperbaric oxygen therapy for a disorder known as the “Suicide Disease� because of the constant neurological burning that starts at my foot, then travels up my brain, and causes sweating, severe pain, and sweating, as well as neurological changes. I am also a published medical researcher and find it both fascinating and frustrating at the same time. I have been forced at this
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point to put nursing on the back burner as I am starting a new career in acting and modeling. I have been in three movies so far two with speaking roles and 1 without, any speaking lines that are set to come out in 2020. The first one is called 1 Dead Dog, next was I Need You Dead, then Bridge of The Doomed. I am also the owner and creator of Feed My City which is teaching people how to grow from a seed which transforms into a plant feeding them with knowledge and comfort by learning how to grow from the inside out. Feed My City will have its first
plot in Bend Jail this summer 2020. My goal is to teach prisoners how to grow and care for plants and trees, which ultimately will feed others as well. Organic produce will be grown and provided. What if it is the diet that is making us all crazy? What if it truly changes behavior? I believe it is worth a try. After breaking my ankle, I could not walk for over 3 years, so I became a Watsu Practitioner, which helps with PTSD, and other orthopedic issues by providing massage in warm water. Currently, I am in the process of writing an autobiography, and plan on traveling while speaking to high school students about suicide awareness,
anti bullying, and what to do in certain situations causing depression, anxiety, and displaced feelings, such as anger and why we start projecting it on others. My goal is to use my book as a platform to reach many who want to experience just one ounce of hope. What I realized through my journey, is that with no hope there really is nothing to look forward to. With a single ounce of hope, it propelled me to be where I am at today. I am thriving with Diabetes and Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
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{ TIME TO FLY LADIES }
BELONGING. BY DEVON MCLOED
I’ve been thinking lately about belonging. It’s something humans search for intrinsically, a sense that we are wanted or needed (preferably both) in a space. A sense of belonging can be hard to describe with words, but most of us can agree that we know how it feels when we find it. Like a puzzle piece, you fit naturally with no extra pressure needed. The word “belonging” comes up a lot when we start to talk about diversity, equity, and inclusion, referred to as (DEI) especially in corporate environments. When I’m working with the DEI initiative at New York City Ballet, we spend hours discussing how we make the organization not only diverse, but a place in which the people who contribute to that diversity all feel like they belong. It is a key word for anyone who has ever done DEI work, and for good reason. Belonging used to be a lot more cut and dry in this country. There were laws that said where you belonged based on your identity. White men belonged in positions of power. White women belonged at home, having babies and running a household. Black men and women belonged in chains and in the fields. There wasn’t much (really any) room for anyone other than white men to decide where they belonged and what a sense of belonging felt like. Then years and years went by and slowly (and I do mean slowly), these rules of belonging became less easily codified. Slavery was abolished, white women gained the right to vote (women of color joined them years later). Fast forward to today and we have started to move towards being a society that allows all people to belong everywhere. However, most of the population is still left feeling like there are many places they don’t belong, for so many reasons. I could write an entire book on all of those reasons, but since I have a finite amount
of space to chat with you, I’m going to put down my hypothetical loudspeaker and talk about myself and my journey towards belonging. Some of us are lucky enough to have found our first place of belonging among our families at home. I know that there is really no place I feel like I belong more than in the arms of my parents or my siblings. Whenever I meet someone new, when I start a new job, or go to a party, I immediately (without really thinking about it) assess whether I feel “at home”, or like I do when I’m with my family. When I was growing up in Auburn, NY, especially once I got to high school, I can remember how difficult it was to ever feel like I truly belonged. I know that doesn’t make me special. Who does feel like they belong in high school?? However as I got older, I have realized it usually wasn’t my fellow students who made me feel like an outsider. It was mostly the people in positions of power, teachers, principals, and the dreaded guidance counselors. In an attempt to not go insane, I used to brush off the microaggressions that left little marks on my mind and soul everyday. The teachers who stared me down when we read Huckleberry Finn, waiting for me to break down at the mention of the “n-word”. The counselors who tried to tell me numerous times that I was “reaching” with my application to NYU Stern School of Business, that not having a back up was a very bad idea. By the time I got to my senior year, I had perfected the coping and survival mechanisms I’m sure many of you also use. I numbed myself to the conversations with the people in power who, mostly subconsciously, created a space of turmoil instead creating an environment of belonging and invitation
to prosper for us students, which would’ve bred confidence and the sense of self that would help us to succeed. Without realizing it, I had become a code-switching master, changing my tone and pace of speech depending on the people I was surrounded by, so no one could point me out as an outsider. The days following my graduation, I felt so free. I knew I’d miss my classmates who I had spent so much time with over the years, but the weight lifted off my shoulders that came with the feeling of having no choice in the environment I was put in was so noticeable. I told myself that going forward I had a choice. I would find places where I belonged and not change myself in order to do it. Obviously, life doesn’t work like that. Change is inevitable and often being in places where you don’t feel like you belong is essential to survival and growth. NYU was four of the best years I could’ve asked for in a university experience. Our campus around Washington Square Park felt like home in a way I never thought I could find away from my family. But I still had to reconcile my feelings of belonging in all the places I went on that campus. NYU is a self-proclaimed liberal campus and often, especially in the spaces I was in like my MLK Scholars seminars, there was a lot of unpacking of identity and how each identity makes up an individual. Your race, ethnicity, gender expression, socio-economic background, the list goes on. It all makes up You. For me, my race was my most salient identity, the trait I identified myself with the most. I’m biracial, both Black and white. I didn’t expect that being at NYU would so deeply shake my sense of belonging within my own biracial identity. I sat in Black Student Union (BSU) my first week on campus ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: SHE HUSTLES EDITION 2020
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{ TIME TO FLY LADIES } “A sense of belonging can be hard to describe with words, but most of us can agree that we know how it feels when we find it. Like a puzzle piece, you fit naturally with no extra pressure needed.”
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and listened to a few members call white people demons, colonizers, rapists. The absolutism shocked me and crushed me. I remember leaving that meeting and sitting in the park and crying. I thought I would find belonging in that room but I felt more alien there than I had in most classrooms in Auburn. I sat there and thought about my family, my mother’s family who were immigrants in the late 1800s and who were not part of the slave trade or the colonization of this land. But yes, they are people who carry the bounties that come with white privilege. They aren’t identified as Italian and Irish immigrants anymore but as White Americans. All of this is true at the same time. But I didn’t feel like I had the space to discuss that in that room, neither did I have the courage to create it. I never went back to another BSU meeting and to this day I regret it. I know now that if I had stayed, I could’ve at least seen if there was a space that I could belong there.
As I mentioned earlier, I currently work at New York City Ballet. As a dancer and a business person, you’d think there wouldn’t be a place where I felt more belonging! I do in many ways. I have people to talk to about the art that is central to my life and I have amazing coworkers who see me and accept every part that comes with this package that is Devon McLeod. However there was a point about six or seven months after I started that I felt so alien. I had gone from being at NYU, where I was almost never an “only” in the room to again looking around and seeing so few people who looked like me. I thought I’d be better prepared to feel that way again, with so many tools and way more life experience than I had back in high school. But I was wrong. I was too aware, too “woke”, too conscious of my otherness even in rooms full of people I loved to be around. I wanted to leave. I wanted to find a job at NYU, back where I knew I felt like I belonged.
Over my four years, I became very close friends with many members of BSU and I know so many people in that room would’ve been open to that discussion. But because of my fear and my snap judgement based on a few voices, I didn’t even give the people in the room that chance to open their arms to me or not. As I write this, I realize I did the same thing at times to the people in Auburn High School. I focused hard on getting away from that building and finding spaces where I felt like I was safe and in control of the narrative, but not as much on finding ways to find belonging through courageous communication. I’ve attempted to change that tactic in the last few years.
But the regret of never going back to another BSU meeting, of how I handled my time at Auburn High, it came roaring back. I knew I had to find how to belong, how to exist with a sense of peace and joy. I constantly talked to my manager about the diversity and inclusion initiative I knew was happening in the artistic division of NYCB, saying how important that work was to me. I ended up being asked to sit on the committee when the initiative was brought to the administrative division. I doubled my efforts to stay close to my NYU friends, many of whom were facing similar situations in their own workplaces so we could talk about it and not go crazy trying to untangle our feelings on our own. I found the
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courage to join conversations with my colleagues around things like hair, not shrinking back when they talk about their hair choices for gala events but instead jumping in and talking about how one day I want to get Senegalese twists but I’m afraid of how long it will take because I hate sitting in salon chairs for that long! Never once have I been shut down or turned away from conversations like that. Today, my office at NYCB feels like home. It feels like sitting on the Washington Square fountain looking at the Empire State Building. It feels like the chorus room of Auburn High School. It feels like laying in my living room with my family. It feels like I belong, because I made myself do the work to create a space of belonging and to allow the people around me to prove that I was right to not run away. I’m not saying that’s possible in every space. Some places truly will never let you feel like you belong. They can cut you down and make you forget what safety and home feels like. Sometimes the best thing you can do for your sanity and heart is to leave. And that’s ok. I’m passionate about pushing the world in the direction where there is no space that anyone feels like they should not be. Some might call it overly idealistic, the idea that all people deserve to feel like they fit in as naturally as a puzzle piece wherever they decide to be, whether it’s a coffee shop, their place of employment, or a department store. And they’re probably right, it is idealistic. But Ladies, what’s wrong with that?
{ TIME TO FLY LADIES } “I know that there is really no place I feel like I belong more than in the arms of my parents or my siblings.”
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{ REAL ESTATE WITH RITA }
HOW TO SELL YOUR HOME BY RITA PETTINARO I PHOTOS BY MICHAEL CRISAFULLI
HOW TO SELL YOUR HOME FOR MORE MONEY YOUR GUIDE FOR GETTING THE MOST OUT OF A HOME SALE. I wrote a book for home owners that are interested in selling their home. In this book, I describe how important small changes to your home will result in more money for the owner and sell quickly vs stuck on the market for a long time.
There are a lot of options on how to get this done. You can choose a professional stager or a staging company. Maybe even something like a property stylist is a great idea, since it will just make your house stand out that much more. Or you can have me as your sales agent and I will help you as part of my package. Experienced home sellers discover that the
When listing a house, the photos of the house need to be captivating to the buyers. So much so that they can’t wait to see the house in person. I will ensure all pictures are profession and tells a story. You don’t necessarily need to spend money on new furniture, but you will need to declutter and keep your best pieces out for show. The following are some basic rules that need to be followed for proper staging of a home:
It’s all on the seller to go the extra mile and make sure their house stands out from the rest. The book is a giant breakdown all the extra steps you need to take to earn that extra money on the sale. These are proven methods to raise the price of your home. Staging and these other strategies, are all backed up by statistics that are going to prove how important these extra steps can be. These steps are going to improve your home and make it so much more welcoming to your audience during any drive-by or walk through. The improvements will affect the online presence a great deal as well. There are just so many mediums and platforms where houses are advertised that it is even harder to stand out. That just places the importance of its appearance into a higher level.
“finally, I’ve gotten my dream home” feeling.
Your home must be clean Fixing or replacing things Get rid of clutter Use neutral colors Depersonalize
same principles from modeling a home are also useful in the resale market, thus, they rely on professional home stagers to make sure that they sell at a higher price and get off the market quickly.
Staging the kitchen can have a huge impact on the portfolio of your home before you decide to place it in the real estate market. This is because the kitchen is the first thing home buyers usually see and if they find it attractive and modern, they could be willing to pay a price you set or pay a higher price than they would have.
The main aim of staging a project is to ensure that prospective buyers see the great possibilities owning the house will bring their way. The prospective buyer can walk into the home and have that
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{ REAL { COVER ESTATESTORY WITH RITA } } “Experienced home sellers discover that the same principles from modeling a home are also useful in the resale market, thus, they rely on professional home stagers to make sure that they sell at a higher price and get off the market quickly.”
with all the right effects to make the kitchen shine. Focus your efforts on staging in strategic areas. Your bathroom is on of those areas. Here are a few tips to help you stage your bathrooms properly: Aim for a spa-like look and feel Give the bathroom a thorough cleaning No cleaning products in sight Hang fresh, luxurious towels and lay down bath mats. Organize storage spaces Accessorize for a better look Add fresh flowers Upgrade where necessary
The master bedroom staging is very important. It should reflect an elegance hat their friends and family would be impressed with. You should consider looking at your master bedroom objectively and replace items that are substandard. Here are a few tips to help you stage your Master Bedroom: Remove Exercise Machines Paint it like a spa New bedding – lots of pillows Check your drawers Hang a mirror Gender-Neutrality Lighting – bring in lots of light Give illusion of space Show that the closet is spacious
To get a copy of my book and find out what your home is worth, call me (585) 261-2096. After you request your free home evaluation, I will create a free report with information that will help you determine your home’s value. I recommend printing it out and taking a drive to see the homes I’ve identified are comparable to yours. See how your home measure up. This will help you get an even more accurate idea of what your home is worth. Your agent is your personal eyes and ears. I look forward to meeting you. Rita Pettinaro
{ GIVING BACK AT RGH }
SENIORS – GOING TO HOSPITALS FOR THE RIGHT REASONS! BY BECKY PICONE
Doug DellaPietra, Rochester General Hopsital’s Volunteer and Guest Services Manager, works with seniors on a daily basis. Whether he is interviewing prospective volunteers, or visiting with those that have been sharing their time for several years, there tends to be a common thread. Seniors are looking to achieve and maintain Quality of Life. How they reach that goal is up to them, but one tried and true option that manages to check a lot of boxes is becoming a volunteer.
exercising. Our GS volunteers escort people from the hospital entrance to their destination, so they cover a great deal of territory during a three or four hour shift. Volunteers in the Emergency Department or Cancer Center are continually moving and lifting as they circulate throughout their areas, visiting with patients, offering refreshments, restocking supplies, etc. It’s an exercise program with the side benefits of socialization and the reward of making a difference in the world!
Volunteerism, in general, is widely known to have health benefits. However, Rochester General’s volunteer program is uniquely designed in a way that can meet the physical, social, and emotional needs of seniors, while working within their schedule and in consideration of their interests and goals. There are many different volunteer areas to choose from, and Doug works with each individual volunteer to find their perfect placement.
Exercising the mind is also important for people as they age. Volunteers are constantly meeting new people, problem solving, learning new skills and practicing old ones. Our gift shop volunteers work with new technology as they take orders and process transactions. Guest Services learn the layout of the hospital and adjust to changes such as department relocations and building expansions. They are often faced with new situations as they navigate the best way to assist hospital guests. No two days are ever the same!
KEEP ON MOVING There is a reason we all know the phrase “Use it or lose it”. Our bodies need to keep moving in order to maintain strength and endurance, especially as we get older. By remaining active, seniors can improve heart health and avoid muscular and skeletal injuries. Of course, not everyone is motivated by the idea of exercising itself. Volunteering in the Guest Services (GS) area of Rochester General is a sure way to get 12,000+ steps in without even realizing you are 252
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WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER Working alongside other caring volunteers and staff members during a weekly shift provides an opportunity for making meaningful connections and friendships. Some seniors find themselves alone for weeks on end, with no job to go to and family that lives out of town. Living independently in the home you raised your children in is a wonderful thing, but it can be
isolating when you don’t have regular visitors. Having a weekly commitment where they see the same people who are working toward the same goal is something that senior volunteers can look forward to and count on. Decreasing isolation is helpful in preventing depression and enhancing quality of life. People who volunteer feel engaged in the community are likely to continue to be active well into their later years. WISDOM AND EXPERIENCE ARE UNDERRATED Feeling needed and useful is important for the emotional health and wellbeing of seniors. Rochester General volunteers make a commitment to one or more weekly shifts. They are an integral part of the hospital team, and they know that their attendance is relied upon. Our seniors also come with a wealth of skills and experiences that are invaluable. Who better to sit with someone in a surgical waiting area than someone who has lived through many of life’s ups and downs and can offer a sincere ear and calming presence. Volunteering is a wonderful way for them to share all of the knowledge and understanding that they have acquired throughout the years. In doing so, they know that they are helping others which leads to an increase in self-worth and a heightened sense of purpose and belonging. Going to the hospital as a volunteer is a great way to make it less likely
{ VISIONARY MINDS }
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{ GIVING { COVER BACK STORY AT RGH } } “Our seniors also come with a wealth of skills and experiences that are invaluable.�
that you will need to go as a patient. Helping people heal while helping yourself is the perfect health care plan! Rochester General Volunteers donated 70,000 hours of their time in 2019! That is equivalent to 2,916 days, or 7.99 years of time generously given to help people heal in our community. 254
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We strive to top that number in 2020. If you are interested in becoming a part of the Rochester General Hospital volunteer community, or would like more information, please visit RochesterRegional.org/ makeadifference, or call the volunteer office at 585-922-4328.
*Volunteers enjoy free parking, access to the Riedman Wellness Center, and a small food discount during each shift.
SERVICES O
* TREE TRIMMING * TREE REM * LOT CLEARING * LANDSCAPE R * CRANE ASSISTED TREE REMOVA
CONTACT BRAD HOLLOWELL
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(585) 749-47
OFFERED:
MOVAL *STUMP GRINDING RENOVATION *SHRUB REMOVAL AL *BUCKET TRUCK SERVICE
763
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TREECARE@ROCHESTER.RR.COM
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{ HEALTHY PUPPERS } SHIFT+CONTROL
SAFE & DURABLE DOG TOYS BY JULIE VILINSKY
FOR AGGRESSIVE CHEWERS AND PICKERS
You are a mom, or a dad, but instead of having 2 legs, your baby has 4, a cold wet nose and is covered in fur. Although it’s not human, you love your little furbaby and would do anything to keep him or her safe. You look for the best food, buy the plushest beds. But what of the toys and balls they play with all day everyday?
fetching these little yellow-green balls back and forth across our room. Eventually he would start picking at his favorite felt covered prizes and carefully skin them with skillful precision. For a time these balls were still playable, providing weeks more of entertainment, until Webster would slice them into 2 perfect halves they would be chewed into hundreds of tiny fragments. When Webster started to pick the tennis balls apart, my husband and I became concerned about him ingesting these pieces. What
Many dog parents want to find toys that are durable and can withstand the toughest of chewers. Or they want to find the least expensive ones they can because their furbaby goes through them so quickly. We were once those parents. Our puppers, Webster, is such an aggressive chewer nothing seemed to last longer than a day or two. Cotton rope toys were shredded and the strings pulled out and eaten. Rubber toys were punctured and ripped to pieces. Stuffed toys, well, within minutes, they were destroyed like they were his prey. Eating the strings, fabrics, and fillings would make Webster sick and he would throw up and have issues defecating. Due to his aggressive destruction of all things fun, we had to eliminate rope toys, stuffed toys, and any soft pliable rubber. What was left for our furbaby was the heavy and clunky “indestructible” toys, which Webster had no interest in, or tennis balls and racquet balls. Tennis balls quickly became his favorite. Webster spent many hours running and
toy could come into contact with a small child. With no oversight and guidelines for how the toys for puppies and dogs are made, how can we be sure they are free of toxins and other harmful compounds? During our research, we came across an article written by Colin Rigley for Preventive Vet* about determining if a dog toy is nontoxic. In his article, Colin speaks of the different dog toy companies who refused to comment or did not respond to inquiries, who have been found to contain toxins, and those whom he feels are the highest quality. He talks about the effects of the toxins and compounds found in toys on your furbaby’s health. With all of the information that’s out there, it can be overwhelming to understand what’s good versus what’s bad. That’s why we have taken care with the toys we have selected to offer you and your baby. Every toy in our store has been scrutinized to be sure you can trust that it is free of toxins, wellmade, and durable. Everything is safe and fun!
were the tennis balls made of? Were they safe? Would they cause our boy intestinal issues? We started researching into what these balls, and other toys, are made of, and was it okay to let our puppers chew on them for hours on end. Arsenic, BPA, lead, bromine, phthalates, PVC, chromium, melamine, and formaldehyde have all been found in the toys our furbabies are chewing on day in and day out. Production of these toys has little to no oversight and regulation. There are no standards in producing safe and healthy toys unless there is a chance the
Originally, we did this because we want the absolute best for Webster, and now, we want to make sure you have the best available to you as well. Please take the time to read over Colin Rigley’s article on Preventative Vet and learn more about how you can keep your furbaby healthy and safe. We also invite you to check out our website and pick up some of the safest toys available for your dog today. https://www.preventivevet.com/dogs/how-tofind-safe-non-toxic-dog-toys
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{ HER EDGE }
TAKE A BREAK BY ROBIN DEWIND I PHOTOS BY JIM HOOPER
I took a vacation. It wasn’t really a vacation it was more like a long weekend. My significant other lured me away from my hamster wheel life for the promise of three days of warmth and rum. I work for myself and run my own business and love what I do. But it feels like I never really leave the office except to drive. Working and driving make up most of the hours of my week. I get up early, let the dog out, make the coffee, warm the car and drive my teenage daughter to school. Some days I can’t even remember what she was wearing. My days feel like a never ending road of daily duties, schedules and drama until bedtime comes and I toss and turn about the next day’s issues. My Tylenol p.m. kicks in and I wake up tired, and do it all over again. I needed a break. Everyone else seems to “go on break”. If you live in the suburbs, every time you turn around there’s a school holiday break week where families think nothing of flying off to Atlantis, Disney World or Myrtle Beach. I have not traveled for a full week anywhere in twenty years. I’m not sure why but three days seemed like just enough. I packed my suitcase and headed to the airport. I really only needed a carry-on but ‘winter in Rochester me’ really needed to feel prepared with as many outfits and shoes
necessary for the spontaneous activities I might encounter as the ‘new revitalized me’ tried to relaxed. My first indulgence, after airport security found me fit to fly were magazines. I couldn’t wait to read something that wasn’t on my computer or iphone. ‘The Enquirer’ for gossip and ‘Women’s Health’ so I could plan for how I was going to take off the five pounds I was about to put on.
By the time the plane touched down, I needed a break from her. The cabin door opened and the weight of my world lift from my shoulders. No work, no dog, no responsibility. I ate what I wanted, drank cocktails by the pool and secretly judged all of the beautiful who were also on a break. I wondered; were they stressed out and tired like I was? They seemed like they were living their best life. I felt jealous because I was constantly running on empty without a gas station in sight. In the middle of my brief break, my daughter called to tell me how much fun she was having with her friends. A mother who was playing host to my daughter in my absence provided hot coco pancakes for breakfast, with chocolate sauce and marshmallows. The dog sitter continually sent pictures of my puppy “Ted” hiking in the snow and calmly laying on the couch watching golf. It was as if my dog and daughter were living their best life without me.
The flight was direct and after twenty minutes of de-icing we were off. Good-bye snow, cold and emails. I’m flying off into a sunset I can sit and actually enjoy. By the time we landed I was fully caught up on Meghan Markel’s decision to throw away life as a royal and completely convinced that the Keto-diet was my only way back into my skinny jeans. It was all the information I needed. Unfortunately I did have to listen to a woman loudly share her reasons for “needing a break” as she inhaled her three Jack and Cokes.
Did they need a break too? From me? Monday came and I was back on the plane ready to face my reality. Suddenly I missed the alarm clock, knowing the details of my daughter’s day and how Ted, despite my constant threats to put him on the curb with a “free” sign around his next is always thrilled to have me walk in the door. The routine of knowing you are counted on and loved for the daily details made me feel warm despite the snow and gray outside the cabin window. I picked my daughter up from practice
{ HER EDGE } } { SHIFT+CONTROL “Life is good, and if I ever forget again, I’ll take a break.”
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and she was bubbling over with what I had missed in her life. I walked through the front door, only to find Ted, whimpering and piddling on the hardwoods at the sight of me.
I think the “studies” are right. My first week back was busy, hectic and all I did was catch up. But instead of feeling angry or resentful or like a constant parental failure, I felt grateful.
was perspective.
Online studies (that I’m not going to quote) show taking a vacation improves happiness, recharges your brain cells, improves productivity and dramatically reduces stress.
I took a break to drink rum in the sun, sleep until 11 a.m. and eat steak without worrying about the calories.
Life is good, and if I ever forget again, I’ll take a break.
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But what I really got from my vacation
As I write this, my daughter is doing her homework in the kitchen and Ted is at my feet, as he always is when I work.
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CONTACT ROBIN DE WIND TODAY! I ROBINDEWIND@GMAIL.COM
{ IN { SPECIAL HER OWN FEATURE WORDS} }
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{ COACHING WITH KRISTIN }
BUILDING CONFIDENCE AND WHY BY KRISTIN BAUER-GROSS
AS A MODEL COACH, WHAT I RECOMMEND FOR BUILDING CONFIDENCE AND WHY MODELING IS NOT ONE OF THEM. As a model coach and as someone who has worked in the offices of two modeling agencies. I’d commonly answer phone calls and emails of this scenario “I’m interested in getting my teen daughter started in a modeling career. She is having trouble in school, has a low self esteem and I really want her to build self-confidence by getting her into modeling.”.
It can be hard to find the courage and confidence to continue. I almost gave up dozens of times. I’d sometimes cry when model friends were booking amazing high paid jobs and I’d gone on yet my 20th casting that month and not booked a thing. There are highs and lows. Sometimes you have a great stint booking many amazing high paid assignments and then the economy tanks, or your agency drops you or you gain weight and bookings slow. After 20 years in this industry, I have heard it all. Casting directors, agencies and designers
I, myself started modeling at age 17 professionally. At 23, after college and 2 years as an Executive Assistant saving money I quit said office job and moved to the big city to pursue my longtime dream of working full time as a model and talent. When people think of working as a model; imagery comes to mind of lights, cameras, photoshoots, exotic luxury locations, professional hair and makeup, expensive clothes and an easy fun job that pays incredibly well. While there are many parts of working as a model and actor that are incredible, glamourous, and fun for 99% of those aspiring the initial years will be challenging. Most people are not “discovered” and whisked away but rather have to put in the time to learn the ropes and then work hard to obtain success. The beginning years for most models or actors will be full of rejection. So much rejection in fact it can be brain damaging.
have told me everything from I’m too fat, too short, too old, too wide, that my butt was too big, my nose needed to be “fixed”, that my pictures were all wrong, that I wasn’t this enough or that enough. And for frame of reference the years I was modeling full times I was about 5’7”and a size 2/4. As if moving alone from a small town to a new city pursuing a dream and trying to earn enough money to pay that big city rent and all the other bills wasn’t daunting enough. There are a lot of good reasons to get started
in the exciting field or modeling or acting but doing it to BUILD your self confidence is on my opinion an oxymoron. I think that for someone who is a confident self starter, who is in love with the industry, not scared to work hard to create success, who loves Instagram, and feels comfortable in front of crowds, is a ham for the camera, and enjoys adventure, travel, meeting new people, loves to eat healthy, revels in being their own boss and each day being different then it can be an amazing ride of a lifetime. What would I tell the moms calling in wanting to get their daughters into modeling for the sole purpose of building self confidence? I’d tell them the story I just told you. Then I’d suggest they help their daughter boost up self-confidence first because if they do not modeling is an industry where one can get quickly torn down, feel self-hatred, as well as be easily swayed to accept assignments that don’t align with their values. With a strong self confidence is in place if that gal dreams, and longs, and wants terribly badly to pursue modeling then my suggestion is to go for it with everything you’ve got! Because if you believe in you; other people will too! If not modeling, what do I suggest for boosting confidence big time? 1.) Learn a unique skill and become a master at it. Mastering a skill allows us to see ourselves in a new light and see what we are capable of! 2.) Compete in a pageant – Competing in a pageant meaning creating a platform and legacy project. In creating this you have to get clear on who you are, what change you want to see in the world, start a project to create that change in real life and then get ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: SHE HUSTLES EDITION 2020
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{ COACHING WITH KRISTIN } “Say nice things to yourself – notice your personal inner dialogue with yourself. Start to notice what you tell yourself on a daily basis. Practice kindness in the words you say to yourself. ”
up on stage in front of a crowd of people in a beautiful gown and articulate who you are and what you stand for and what you are doing to be that change. Pageants are an excellent exercise in self confidence building. 3.) Help someone else – helping others, whether it be doing chores for a family member or a neighbor or getting involved in a non-profit close to your heart, strengthens one’s belief in how what we do changes the world even if for just one person. 4.) Morning Gratitude Ritual – In the morning as you lay in bed journal a whole page or list mentally everything you are grateful for. Even list out how your failures could actually be successes. Seeing failures as successes and counting blessings is a powerful practice for self-development. 5.) Keep Promises to Yourself – The most 268
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important promises are the ones you keep to yourself. Being able to keep promises to yourself means you trust in yourself and your personal power. If keeping promises to yourself feels tough encourage choosing smaller promises and keeping them and working up to biggest promises. 6.) Take a public speaking class or join Toastmasters – practice speaking in public and sharing your personal voice. We each have our own unique voice and stories and sharing them develops our confidence and strengthens our courage. And who knows you might change someone else’s life by your story. 7.) Dreaming is a muscle – start dreaming, visualizing what you desire, seeing it play out detail by detail in your mind’s eye. The more we use our dreaming muscle the stronger it becomes and the more we invite into our life exactly what it is we most desire.
8.) Say nice things to yourself – notice your personal inner dialogue with yourself. Start to notice what you tell yourself on a daily basis. Practice kindness in the words you say to yourself. If you’re dream is modeling and you’d like a more direct path to success, a coach to help you create a plan, build the important skills like auditioning, self taping, runway walking, harnessing the power of social media, finding an agent and more then give me a shout. You’ll find me hanging out on Instagram @KristinBauerGross on my website www.KristinB.com and teaching my online program ACTION designed specifically for small market models and actors to learn, connect and succeed at KristinB.com/action-program RWO readers get 50% off their 1st month with code HALFOFF1STMONTH
{ WOMEN WHO INSPIRE }
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{ THE FITNESS DIVA }
AM I RIGHT? BY LAY’LAH
We are a few months into the New Year, and like any year, I’m sure part of your resolution for 2020 is to take better care of yourself physically and mentally. To spend more time in the gym, to eat healthier, and to make better choices regarding your health. Am I right?
Remember a positive mind will leave to a positive life. Tell yourself I Can do this! I will not give up, You will be surprised what your body can accomplish and how hard you can push it if you give it a go. If you always have a negative attitide most likely you’ll quit.
Most of the time those resolutions come to an end by February or March due to giving up on yourself. Let this year be all about succeeding. Set the goal you have for yourself and accomplish it! Here are some tips to keep you on track for 2020. List what are your reasons for working out: To lose weight? Tone? Build muscle? Knowing what you want from your workout will not only give you a clear vision on your progress, but it will also help you figure out what types of workouts might be best for you. THINK POSITIVE– Many people are too hard on themselves starting out a new fitness routine. “I can’t do it” “I’m too weak” “ people are going to stare at me” Never be so negative on youself.
training, group classes, running, spin, yoga- there are numerous ways to get active and stay fit. Find the things you enjoy doing you are more likely to continue you if you find it super duper fun! Take progress photos - sometimes we can never tell what our body looks like since we look at it daily. Someone else will notice the change in us before we notice a change in ourselves. In the begining of the month, take a full body photo of yourself. The following month take a a nother photo. You will be amazed at how your body can change with consistent exercise, and healthy eating.
push yourself to the limit- pushing yourself can be easy to do when you’re very motivated. If you are doing 10 reps push yourself to do just two more! If it doesnt challenge you it won’t change you!
GO FOR HEALTHIER ALTERNATIVES We all have a craving for that certain dish that were addicted to that is just oh so yummy and we just can’t get enough of it! Whatever that this maybe see if you could find a healthy alternative..for example when I’m craving pasta i use veggie noodles instead of pasta noodles, Or a smoothie instead of ice cream. Also a lot of things can be made with healthier ingredients.
MAKE A SCEDULE. Try different kinds of workouts on different days, weight lifting, strength
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{ CROWN POSSE }
WELCOME TO CROWN POSSE BY MAGGIE TORTATICE
When I decided to start my podcast, Crown Posse, it was mostly as a courtesy to my friends and family, so that they could choose when (and if) they wanted to listen to my babbling about the Royal Family, which was (unfortunately for them) not an option before. I thought, maybe a podcast would be a productive outlet, so that all of the research I do, and the shows I watch, and the books I read, wouldn’t be a complete waste. What I didn’t expect is the outpouring of support I would receive, and the amount of people I would encounter that share my interest in the monarchy! People started approaching me asking my opinion on recent events, (I coincidentally launched Crown Posse just 1 week before the very public exit of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, so there was a lot to discuss) and I became the unofficial, self-appointed Regional Royal Expert; trademark coming soon. I thought, maybe I’m onto something! You may be asking yourself, “Maggie, why do you care so much about the Royal Family?” It’s a fair question, one that I don’t necessarily have a great answer for. I’ve never been a huge history buff, and admittedly, social studies have never exactly enticed me, either. So, what is it then? I think it is the overall allure; the history, the glamour, the mystery. This isn’t an A-List celebrity that you can Insta-stalk to learn every intimate detail of their life, this is a centuriesold establishment that has endured World Wars, power struggles, treachery, countless scandals… and yet here they are, as relevant as ever. I mean, the origins of the family can be traced to King Alfred the Great, the first King 274
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of England in 871! The Royal Family is shrouded in mystery, which has kept society intrigued for hundreds of years. There are very few lucky journalists that have ever gotten to interview any of the core members of the Royal Family (or, “The Firm”, a term attributed to Prince Philip), and most stories are from “a source”. This is exactly how they want to keep it. Without the allure and the mystery, “The Firm” would be accessible, relatable…boring. It’s like the scene at the end of The Wizard of Oz, when Dorothy stumbles upon the man behind the curtain. She doesn’t find Oz the Great and Powerful, but instead finds a normal man with a God complex. The Queen doesn’t want to be relatable, she wants to be respected. The Family doesn’t need to be accessible, they need to remain relevant. If there is no public interest, there is no need for them any longer. Luckily for them, there is an enormous interest. According to yougov.co.uk, in 2018, 7 out of 10 Britons are in favor of the monarchy. In America, the public interest is obvious, it’s hard to watch any news outlet without seeing at least one Royal update. I believe that, subconsciously, we (fellow monarchists) find stability in our royals. Through every conspiracy and controversy, The Crown has endured. One of my favorite stories, that embodies the philosophy of stability, took place during the Second World War. On September 7, 1940, approximately 1000 British civilians (mostly in the East End of London) were killed during a series of bombings, now known as “The Blitz”. Even Buckingham Palace wasn’t immune, and absorbed
2 explosions. Instead of fleeing, King George VI and Queen Elizabeth (mother and father of our current Queen Elizabeth II) remained in Buckingham Palace, and in a moment of defiance, Queen Elizabeth declared, “I am glad we have been bombed. It makes me feel we can look the East End in the face.” The duty to their country superseded their personal interests, and that ideology has persisted. I never expected the opportunities that would arise from one (wine-induced) idea to channel my royal rambling into a podcast, and now a monthly column as well, but here I am! I’m so excited to see where this opportunity will lead me (I’m hoping it’s to Buckingham Palace). Whether you are interested in history, fashion, celebrity gossip, current events, or social studies, this column will have it all. Each month, I will be giving my expert(ish) opinion on what is going on with my favorite family across the pond, and if you’re not already royally obsessed, I’m confident I will eventually be able to sway your vote. Who knows, soon maybe you’ll have a life-size cardboard cutout of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, too! Okay, maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, but a girl can dream. If you want to learn more, please subscribe to Crown Posse Podcast, available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeartRadio and Pocket Casts. You can also find me on Instagram @ crownpossepodcast. New episodes are available (at least) twice a month!
{ CROWN POSSE } “I never expected the opportunities that would arise from one (wine-induced) idea to channel my royal rambling into a podcast, and now a monthly column as well, but here I am!”
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{ TRACY TALKS }
THE SCARE OF HAIR BY TRACY SIMONE
Hair for most women is a very touchy subject. It is the crowning glory for most and the bane of existence for others. Some women get out a whip and a chair to tame it while others give up the fight and just let it do whatever it wants. Gray hair, in particular, has a mind of its own. It usually comes in thick and wiry and clearly announces its arrival. The nerve! I clearly remember being 22 years old when I spotted my first one. I was a Computer Programmer at General Electric. I was in the ladies room and looked in the mirror while washing my hands. This beautiful older woman named Peggy was in one of the stalls. Anyway, I spotted the villain growing out of my head full of pitch-black hair and let out a loud, “Oh My God!”. Poor Peggy was startled and did some kind of fancy footwork and yelled out, “What’s the matter?” When I announced that I had a gray hair, I think she wanted to beat me. I got this ‘Oh, is that all?’ vibe from her. C’mon Peggy…. help a Sista out…..this is a critical moment in my young life. I remember it like it was yesterday! The reality is that I let that little sucker stay right on my head where it made its home. Back in those days, I was getting perms thinking it was making my tresses more manageable and not realizing the damage that it was actually doing. Later on, someone close to me 278
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had a terrible reaction to a perm and I believe she still has scars on her scalp. During this past holiday season, my daughter and I were at Macy’s riding down an escalator directly behind a woman whose scalp was burned beyond recognition. She had very little hair left and I couldn’t help but think of how painful it must have been, both
physically and psychologically. I stopped getting perms and using chemicals on my hair a few years back. Truth be told, now, I will load up with coconut oil and get the fryer….. oops, I mean curling and flat irons out. Yes I will. In a skinny minute. The extreme heat is also bad but at least no chemicals get into my blood stream.
The gray hairs have multiplied like rabbits on my head and I love every single one of them. I have earned these suckers. I used to name them, but they started outnumbering the children and co-workers in my life. (There does, however, remain a streak that carries my boss’s name. LOL) On the one hand, I don’t want to do anything about the grays. On another hand, I am scared because I have seen the long term damage that some women have done to their heads and their psychies by coloring too much. On a third hand (huh?), I do get paid to model and act so there is a case to be made for trying to look younger for as long as possible. Nah. I decided to stay natural and if any jobs come along that require a head full of dark hair only, I guess someone else will have to do them. I am prepared to model products for senior citizens if necessary. Bring on the Depends and Centrum Silver! There’s no shame in my game. I’m just glad to still be here. I am completely enjoying the ride and I have earned each one of my gray hairs. Being able to age is an opportunity that not everyone gets to experience. My grandfather used to say that one day, you will forget to wake up. I have no issue with what other women do to their heads because that is their business. However, the mom and older person in me each have a question of WHY some of
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{ TRACY TALKS } “Love yourself the way you are! Never be afraid to show the world the beautiful you in your natural form.�
them do what they do. I just do not personally like it when women wear the heavy hair weaves, extensions, or chemicals and colors AND NEVER GIVE THEMSELVES A BREAK. In SOME cases, doing it every day as a ritual is an indication of a woman who does not actually like herself. Sometimes, it is a signal that the lady 280
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does not accept how she was created. I am around a lot of ladies, young and seasoned, and while I would never tell someone not to do something, I certainly think about the message that we are sending to our younger counterparts. Love yourself the way you are! Never
be afraid to show the world the beautiful you in your natural form. So, bring on the grays and never mind what anyone else thinks or says. You were beautifully and wonderfully made!
{ PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY }
THERAPIST OFFERS A HOLISTIC APPROACH BY OLGA MONACELL
TO SUPPORT D E M E N T I A CAREGIVERS
As more people are living with dementia, more family members provide care to their loved ones. According to the Alzheimer’s Association, among primary caregivers, two-thirds are women and one-third are daughters. Female caregivers tend to experience higher levels of depression and impaired health. According to the same report, compared to white family caregivers, black caregivers are more likely to be younger, unmarried and with fewer financial resources.
The responsibility to help my aunt fell in my lap. At the time, I wasn’t thinking about my aunt or me being caregivers. No one was asking if I wanted to take my grandparents grocery shopping or help my aunt cook meals for them. My grandparents needed me and I stepped up. I wanted to give back for the years of sacrifice that my grandparents had given us. The least that I could do was to honor them by making personal sacrifices. I wanted to demonstrate my devotion to God through service to my family. I think many black families that come
I met with Shanice Aluko, MS, MFT, a therapist practicing in the Family Therapy Clinic at Strong Behavioral Health, University of Rochester Medical Center, to talk about the culture of caregiving in African American communities and the effects of caregiving on the mental health of black women.
members caring for their loved one to also take care of their own mental health? What can women do to lessen the emotional burden of caregiving?
A. While family support is
experience with dementia and caregiving?
A. I grew up in Atlanta. I’m one of
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Unfortunately, some African Americans whose families are affected by dementia are hesitant to seek mental health help. This reluctance is caused by a general cultural mistrust in the healthcare system. Black families that do seek therapy, try to find therapists who look like them. I’m fortunate to be who I am. It is an honor and a privilege to serve black caregivers who otherwise would not be getting any mental health help.
Q. Why is it important for family
Q. Do you have a personal
seven children and we have a large extended family. My maternal grandparents lived in North Carolina when my grandfather developed dementia. Because caring for my grandfather took a toll on my grandmother, my grandparents moved back to Georgia, to be closer to the rest of the family. My youngest aunt who wasn’t married and didn’t have children of her own became a primary caregiver. Day in and day out, she was helping my grandfather activities of daily living: getting dressed, bathing and eating. My aunt assumed that role with grace and never complained.
explore their own culture—the traditions and values their family has. Rather than making assumptions, I want to understand how dementia affects each family member and gain insight into the family system.
from collectivist cultures often experience something similar. It is about the village. It is about the home team.
Q. Shanice, talk about your professional experience with families affected by dementia.
A. I utilize a holistic approach in my practice
and collaborate with medical providers, clergy and community agencies to offer more personalized counsel. I also seek to learn more about the families I work with. By being inquisitive and exploring family dynamics, I encourage family members to
important for dementia caregivers, a therapist may have more knowledge about their emotional needs. My clients share with me the effects of trauma or the effects of racism that have been passed from generation to generation. The way individuals cope with these challenges affects the relationship between the family member living with dementia and the family member who provides care. A therapist who looks like her clients may be able to offer a better understanding of some of these challenges. Some families lack the level of unity that my family had during the time we were caring for my grandfather. I see women who care for their parents while also caring for their children without any support within their
{ PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY }
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{ PARTNERS IN A JOURNEY } “As more people are living with dementia, more family members provide care to their loved ones.�
family. These women think they have to do it alone. They feel isolated and develop depression. They need someone who is there to remind them to care for themselves as well. I encourage these women to look for outside resources. I sometimes hear that the cost of therapy is prohibitive. While therapy can be expensive, many community clinics offer mental health services to uninsured or underinsured individuals at significantly reduced rates or free of charge. I also hear that some caregivers trust that God will fix their problems. I 284
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come from the Bible Belt and know our faith and prayers can help us deal with our problems. I take my worries to the Lord. However, prayer alone may not always help. In response to our prayers, God sends other people our way. These may be the people who have the knowledge and resources to alleviate your stress and anxiety. I work in collaboration with other providers and clergy. Our holistic approach allows us to address physical, emotional and spiritual health simultaneously while helping caregivers achieve a better sense of wellness.
It can be overwhelming to take care of a loved one with dementia. Stress can be harmful to both of the individual with dementia and the caregiver. To learn more about how to stay emotionally strong and avoid caregiver burnout, call 1-800272-3900 or visit https://www.alz.org/ help-support/caregiving/caregiver-health/ be_a_healthy_caregiver. ########
{ { COMMUNITY ASK THE DOCTOR ROCS } }
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{ ASK THE DOCTOR }
YOUR HIP MUSCLES BY DR. LARRY PESHKIN
One very important job of your hip muscles is to maintain the alignment of your leg when you move. One of the primary hip muscles, the gluteus medius, plays an especially important stabilizing role when you walk, run, or squat.
bone- creating a painful irritation and eventually arthritis. Walking and running with a relative “knock knee” position places tremendous stress on the ligaments around your knee and is a known cause of “sprains”. Downstream, a “knock
The gluteus medius attaches your thigh bone to the crest of your hip. When you lift your left leg, your right gluteus medius must contract in order to keep your body from tipping toward the left. And when you are standing on a bent leg, your gluteus medius prevents that knee from diving into a “knock knee” or “valgus” position. Weakness of the gluteus medius allows your pelvis to drop and your knee to dive inward when you walk or run. This places tremendous strain on your hip and knee and may cause other problems too. When your knee dives inward, your kneecap is forced outward, causing it to rub harder against your thigh
knee” position puts additional stress on the arch of your foot, leading to other painful problems, like plantar fasciitis. Upstream, weak hips allow your pelvis to roll forward which
forces your spine into a “sway back” posture. This is a known cause of lower back pain. Hip muscle weakness seems to be more common in females, especially athletes. You should avoid activities that cause prolonged stretching of the hip abductors, like “hanging on one hip” while standing, sitting crossed legged, and sleeping in a side-lying position with your top knee flexed and touching the bed. Patients with fallen arches may benefit from arch supports or orthotics. Obesity causes more stress to the hip muscles, so overweight patients may benefit from a diet and exercise program. The most important treatment for hip abductor weakness is strength training. H i p strengthening is directly linked to symptom improvement. Moreover, people with stronger hip muscles are less likely to become injured in the first place. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: SHE HUSTLES EDITION 2020
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GENTLE & HEALING CHIROPRACTIC CARE
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{ MENTALLY THINKING }
ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS BY BONNIE FLOYD
Achieving goals is important for each of us throughout our lives. We each need goals to motivate us, each day, to achieve all that we are inherently capable of doing. Meeting our goals greatly enhances our self-esteem. It also provides increased motivation and drive for setting additional goals. Some of the goals that we set are relatively modest in nature, whereas others are all-encompassing to achieve. Perhaps you want to give up an unhealthy habit, such as smoking. Regardless of which type of goal you’re trying to achieve, there are several key factors associated with improving your odds of meeting your goals. First, it is important to set realistic goals. Setting realistic goals will go a long way in reducing the disappointment associated with not achieving a goal. Realistic goals are ones that are capable of being achieved with our innate talents, our currently available resources, and our level of commitment. Not setting realistic goals will inevitably result in enhanced levels of frustration and disappointment. For example, an individual might desire to lose a total of fifty pounds. It’s entirely realistic to attempt to achieve this goal over the course of an entire year, whereas it’s not realistic to meet this goal within a two-week period. Another key factor is achieving our goals 290
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is breaking each goal down into more manageable steps. For example, many years ago I set the goal of achieving my doctoral degree in clinical psychology. This required achieving multiple goals along the way, including receiving my associate’s, my bachelor’s, and two master’s degrees, prior to eventually receiving my Ph.D. This entire process took a total of fourteen years to achieve after my high school graduation. To be perfectly honest, I did face periods of intense
frustration and discouragement while going through my academic training, due to the development of serious health problems. Nevertheless, I did my best to remind myself that I only needed to complete one semester at a time. In doing so, I successfully moved closer to the goal of earning my doctorate. When attempting to achieve our goals, it is critical to refrain from being
perfectionistic. Perfection is the enemy of good, after all. Individuals with perfectionistic tendencies will often spend much more time than is necessary on any given stage of achieving an important goal. As a recovering perfectionistic myself, I’m finally appreciating that “good is good enough” when trying to achieve a goal. Many years ago, I took a watercolor painting class. I soon learned to appreciate that being a perfectionistic was highly detrimental to mastering this specific medium. Attempting to correct perceived errors while watercolor painting only results in defacing the delicate paper that is being used. Mastering frustration is another important factor when trying to achieve a goal. We often encounter setbacks along the way to finally achieving our goals. I published a book, late last November. There was considerable frustration along the way to achieving this much-desired goal. In fact, I needed to carefully revise my initial manuscript, several times. This process was admittedly a very frustrating one. I needed to remind myself, several times, of just how much effort that I had already made in trying to achieve this goal. I also enlisted the expertise of a line-editor. I reasoned that another set of eyes could more easily find the mistakes that were inevitably sprinkled throughout my lengthy manuscript.
{ MENTALLY THINKING } “When attempting to achieve our goals, it is critical to refrain from being perfectionistic. Perfection is the enemy of good, after all.”
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{ {RWO’S MENTALLY MENTAL THINKING HEALTH} } “ Regardless of which type of goal you’re trying to achieve, there are several key factors associated with improving your odds of meeting your goals.”
Another key factor in achieving goals is the ability to learn from our failures. Three years ago, I decided to open a shop in a small business co-op. I wanted to sell the wide range of polymer clay jewelry that I had been designing for the past couple of years. I had certainly amassed an adequate inventory to open a store. However, I failed to thoroughly research the business aspects of establishing a store. I was certainly full of enthusiasm for taking on this new adventure, but I lacked the expertise in being able to successfully manage a business. Not so 292
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surprisingly, I eventually was forced to close my shop. Thankfully, I managed to learn a lot from not achieving this goal. Finally, be sure to enlist the support of others when you are attempting to achieve a goal. We all need to recognize our interconnectedness. Even the most talented, highly driven individuals do not achieve their goals completely on their own. It’s impossible to be equally good in all areas. We need to recognize when to enlist the expertise of others in trying to obtain an important goal.
I freely admit that I never would have been able to obtain my doctoral degree without the assistance of my parents; they provided enormous support in attending graduate school as a single mother of a daughter with chronic medical difficulties. You’re capable of achieving your goals!
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{ YOU MATTER }
EMPOWERED BY JUDI SWANSON
Empower is to make someone stronger and more confident in controlling their life and claiming their rights according to Dictionary.com. “The word empower originates from comes from the Old French prefix ‘en-‘ meaning ‘in, into’ and the root ‘power’ which comes from the early 1300s, meaning ‘ability, strength, might’. Though the word empower has been used in the past in literary works, its modern usage dates from around 1986.” (MacmilliamDictionaryBlog)
freeze a fourth trauma response called fawn has come into play. This is how Roland Bat in Resolving trauma and PTSD describes fawn: With a please or fawn response you have given up a sense of self, a sense of healthy identity and have taken on responsibilities that are NOT yours to carry. It is a survival response in a time of need.” For some this means that you are not living the life you want to be living in
Too often in my life and in my work as a therapist I interact with people who feel disempowered. From basic interactions to more significant ones they feel paralyzed and live with fear in regards to what would happen if they stood up and spoke up for themselves. Most of these individuals are ready, willing, and able to stand up for others. They have little to no issue in being protective of people they care about. It is a totally different story when it comes to them. Especially in my counseling work we look at the reasons behind what stops them for being advocates of good and right for them. Knowledge is power. When you understand the whys it helps facilitate change. Many people have a poor sense about who they are. Their confidence, sense of worth, esteem is not good. In addition some have a history of trauma and are experiencing a fourth trauma response called fawn. While there used to be fight, flight, 294
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the way you want to be living it. Your fear, uncertainty, lack of sense of who you are stops you from being who you want to be. Guess what ? You can change this! Yep you can change. There are actions you can take to become empowered. Here are some strength based action steps: • Get a journal or something to write in. While you can use your phone or
computer it is preferable to write it because writing gives your brain some good old muscle memory. DAILY write down positive statements about yourself. Write things are you are proud that you accomplished that day. It can range from I made my bed to I did a presentation for a group of people to I went to the gym. A positive is a positive. Include compliments or positive statements people gave you. Even if you are not feeling that way about yourself YET keep writing things down. When you are feeling crappy about yourself go and read them. • Do kind actions for others. According to the CedarsSinai blog “acts of kindness can release hormones that contribute to your mood and overall wellbeing. Most research on the science behind why kindness makes us feel better has centered around oxytocin. Sometimes called “the love hormone,” oxytocin plays a role in forming social bonds and trusting other people. It’s the hormone mothers produce when they breastfeed, cementing their bond with their babies.” To have this really work you have to do REPEATED acts of kindness. • Get some movement, activity, fitness in your life. It does not matter the type, it matters that you do SOMETHING on a regular basis. “Exercise affects the brain in many ways. It increases heart rate, which pumps more oxygen to
{ YOU MATTER } ““The word empower originates from comes from the Old French prefix ‘en-‘ meaning ‘in, into’ and the root ‘power’ which comes from the early 1300s, meaning ‘ability, strength, might’.�
the brain. Exercise also promotes brain plasticity by stimulating growth of new connections between cells in many important cortical areas of the brain.� according to Scientific American. • Take stock of the relationships in your life. Are you around individuals who bring you up or bring you down. If your relationships include people with a strong, ongoing, persistent negative nature perhaps it is time to make a change in regards to how you have a relationship with them. • Take actions like having positive passwords. Read motivating books, 296
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quotes and such. Surround yourself with the positive things you want for yourself. Your brain will absorb what it is exposed to. • Be like the train who said I think I can I think I can. Cause you can. •POWER POSE it up. According to research from Ann Cuddy “adopting an expansive posture makes people feel more powerful.â€? Power posing is not going to hurt you so give it a try. I have had times in my life where I did not feel empowered. I did not express or stand up for what was good and right
for me. I felt trapped in myself. It totally sucked! By working hard and diligently to get to a better headspace it got me to a place of empowerment for myself. Are times there are situations, relationships, courageous conversations, presentations that I still get nervous about? YES. Yet taking of charge of me and doing something about it ALWAYS feels better that being silent and not standing for myself. Most excellent person empower yourself. You are so worthy of living the life you want to be living in the way you want to be living it. May your empowered be with youđ&#x;’œ
{ A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE }
VALENTINES DAY...LOVE OR HEARTACHE? BY GIOVANNA WALTON
With Valentine’s Day just passing, it got me to thinking that this day isn’t always welcomed by everyone. For some, it means just more money to spend they don’t have, more for businesses to capitalize on, and for others, it’s an obvious, painful reminder that there isn’t that special someone to share it with. The singles now call Valentine’s Day, SAD, aka Single Awareness Day. So I decided to look at the history of this day that gets to so many people. What I found was surprising! One article said that the origins came from a Roman Festival called Lupercalia. Lupercalia celebrated on February 15. It is believed that Valentine’s Day is an off shoot of this. However, this was not a romantic love filled Festival. It was anything but! Actually the celebration was filled with violence, killing animals and making strips from the skin of the animal and whipping women (and women were ok with it!) as a way of giving the women fertility rights. It was also a celebration to ward off evil spirits and the coming of spring. During this festival, men picked a woman’s name from a jar and they stayed together until the next festival. Some even ended up getting married. Personally, that’s not how I want to meet my forever! Hahaha. I’ll stick with boy meets girl! How did Valentine’s Day get its name? There are a couple of different stories regarding this. It is said that there were two men who’s name was Valentine. One was a priest, Roman, who performed marriages against Emperor Claudius’s wishes. Claudius felt that the soldiers being married would be more of a distraction. The other Valentine from Terni, was said to be a Bishop and the true reason Valentine’s Day was named. He spread Christianity and when he wouldn’t renounce his faith, Claudius 298
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became angry and had him executed. It is said that both Valentine’s are the same person. One, while in jail, became friends with a blind girl who visited him and who he later restored sight to. He fell in love with her and it was said that he wrote her letter signing it, Your Valentine. In 496 AD, Pope Gelasius changed it to February 14th where it is said that Valentine was executed on this day.
woman does for them. Some women expect an engagement ring on that day and are surprisingly disappointed when they don’t get one. It puts a strain on the relationship because the unsuspecting guy had no idea! A woman, most of them, hold a grudge and become unpleasant to live with the rest of the year because she puts great emphasis on this day like no other day is available to celebrate love!
the point? I thought it was important to see why we celebrate what we do. Especially a day like this and Halloween (and that’s another story)!
To my SAD, Singles Awareness Day people. Cheer up! It saves you money, unrealistic expectations and a chance to just love on yourself with other friends who are single, by going out and enjoying life. If this is a day you have a hard time getting through, try to find the silver lining. You know that family member? friend? that you haven’t seen or talked to in a while but have a connection with? Send them a Valentine hello or shout out. Use your imagination and think of ways you could fill the void. Love is universal. It’s NOT limited to a man and a woman. When you change your mindset, so many opportunities come to mind! Volunteer at an animal shelter or a pediatric unit. Visit people in a nursing home. Some don’t have families. Some have families but the families never come to visit leaving them alone. Don’t go unannounced though. You will have to set something up with the head person.
Now that you have the background, does it still sound appealing to you? Does it still make you want to go out to celebrate? Seriously, some people, and by people I mean women, have ended relationships with some good men because the men don’t feel or see Valentine’s Day in the same way. It’s also a reason, an excuse, for some men to only show their love and appreciation once a year and the rest of the 364 days, not having to acknowledge all a
I hope this topic has helped you in some way, shape or form. This should not be a day that should be dreaded like the plague. Finding the positive in anything, adding imagination and possibilities with it can be fulfilling. Don’t stay stuck in thinking it’s only for couples. You could really make a difference in someone else’s life! Be blessed! Maybe you’ll remember my words for next year and you’ll welcome it in a different way of thinking.
Why all this history and not straight to
{ A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE } “ In 496 AD, Pope Gelasius changed it to February 14th where it is said that Valentine was executed on this day.”
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{ MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE }
CREATIVELY IMPROVING WORK ENVIRONMENTS BY LISA WAGNER
How Creative Expression Can Build Morale and Teamwork Imagine this: You’re working in an environment that’s stressful and inconducive to building your career. I used to live this truth every day. It was a challenge to find ways to boost my own morale and help to grow a culture of teamwork and shared visions. Working for companies in my early years that didn’t nurture their employee’s creativity felt like drudgery; it was as if I was just a number. You were expected to tow company lines and keep your mouth shut. There was zero creativity to solve anything. I felt stifled and depressed, as did my coworkers. We would hide in the corner and commiserate about how our jobs made us want to scream or cry at our desks. It made me determined to strike out on my own and help my husband build companies that cared about their employees and their visions. My husband, Paul and I have owned several businesses over the last 34 years. Our goal was always to ensure that our employees had a voice and the security of knowing we were all working toward the same end goal. It was a huge priority for us. When we kept that philosophy at our forefront, it allowed us to grow into a seven-figure company in short order. We watched our staff grow exponentially in their roles by feeling empowered and valued. Their desire to creatively help us build our brand was fueled by being allowed to voice their thoughts and many times, help us improve how we did business. It also made us feel like 300
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we were making a positive difference in their lives. We, as a company, also did outreach activities to help our community and to spend time working together to rebuild areas affected by floods or difficult circumstances. We spent time at Camp Good Days after their camp was overtaken by flood waters and mud to rebuild and renovate buildings that
received major damage in 2014. It was a wonderful team building activity. Seeing what that meant to the camp and the families they serve was a game changer for our company. We found creative solutions to alleviate future problems with possible water damage that they successfully implemented. There is sound science behind the impact of these types of community-minded activities. It increases trust, allays conflict, inspires
communication, and grows collaboration. Having more involved employees is not only good for the company ethos; it also helps enhance your bottom line. That’s something that benefits everyone, especially those you serve. In my art studio, I have witnessed students coming into my space prior to our intuitive painting workshops feeling stressed and mentally fatigued. It’s something that I can relate to. Art has been a way for me to deal with the changes happening within my own life. We sold our largest company in October and now are faced with the dreaded questions like, “Who are we without it?” and “What do we do now?” It can leave you stressed with your footing becoming unsure and depressed. Whether doing my own creative work or encouraging participation in the process, being able to work through those emotions has never failed me or any of my students. It lets your shoulders begin drop, your breath and heartrate slow. You’re being given full permission to sling paint, make hard and fast lines or strokes or write whatever you’re feeling on the canvas. It’s a moment of much-needed cathartic release. During my most recent workshop, a young woman came into class agitated about her boss and how he continually frustrated her; that he caused daily anguish and stress. Again, so relatable! She wrote how she felt about him first and then started slinging paint at it and scraping it with an old room key. Her face lit up. Her coworker was encouraging her to keep pretending that the paint was her frustration and that she was
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{ MANIFESTING YOUR TRUE PURPOSE } “Creativity is the mother of all innovation and can also improve output through play and sparking excitement in the creative parts of our brain.”
using that plastic card to scrape it away, leaving behind these beautiful, bright bits. Standing near her, you could feel a sense of relief and calmness that she had been searching for. She felt ready to take on her work week in a more positive and productive way. Feeling out of place and disconnected is lonely and frustrating. When we build a solid foundation, what we are working to build can continue to grow in a positive manner. Creativity is the mother of all innovation and can also improve output through play and sparking excitement in the creative parts of our brain. When you have more ways of approaching a problem, it will thus expand a person’s productivity. 302
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Intuition, when expanded and fully utilized, can be incredibly beneficial to problem solving. Fast Company conducted a poll that discovered that 60% of CEO’s strongly agreed that creativity is the most crucial leadership quality, followed by integrity (52%) and global thinking (35%). Building morale and teamwork within corporate culture can be a challenge but there’s always a creative way to find solutions. Without creativity, businesses become stagnant and growth becomes nearly impossible. Once that mindset creeps into employees’ performance, it can cause issues that are difficult to reverse. Making an investment in your company’s psyche can reap many rewards,
especially happy personnel. Expanding joy and the allowance for trying new and innovative ideas and productive teamwork that may sometimes seem out of the norm can prompt bottom line growth due to a company’s commitment to mental health wellness. Everyone has a new and exciting way of seeing the issues faced by their chosen industry and their ability to participate in solving those company needs can invigorate morale and sales. Plus, everyone will look forward to coming to work and be a part of an amazing and supportive team that produces real and lasting results.
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THE HONORABLE SUSAN MICHEL BY TERRY DANIELE
Hello Rochester Women – This month I would like you to meet the first EVER female justice in the Town of Henrietta. Her name is the Honorable Susan Michel. Henrietta had its first Town Justice in 1897 and from then until 2020 they were all men!! With the election of 2019 Henrietta finally installed its first woman in 2020 and has gender diversity on the bench for the first time. A little about Susan’s journey. Susan was raised in a family who dedicated themselves to their community. Her Father was a fireman and her mother a nurse. Her brothers and sister followed in their parents’ footsteps. Her eldest brother became a police officer, her other brother a teacher. Her sister followed their mother and became a nurse. Sue was the youngest and it was expected she too would become a community helper. Well, that was when Sue first began to break the mold. The way Sue tells it, she wanted to become a teacher, but she took an aptitude test at her career center in high school and the results of the test suggested she was a strong match for computer sciences. So…, she enrolled in a computer science program at Rochester Institute of Technology and thought that she was on her career path. That was not to be the case. Sue studied computer science but found that it just wasn’t her passion. She had always been an excellent student and changed her major to electrical engineering, only to be told by one of her professors that he did not think women could be engineers. This was in the mid-1980s mind you. At that time Sue had not yet established herself as a disruptor. Again listening to others, not herself, she changed her major to math. Sue graduated from RIT with a Math degree
and became an IT person at RIT. She worked successfully in that profession for a number of years before following her inner muse and deciding to go back to school to become a lawyer. She was in her 40’s and knew it would not be an easy transition. The destined-to-be-Judge Michel graduated from Buffalo Law School and became a lawyer. She opened her own practice and prospered. She developed a client base and was satisfied with her career. That is, until the Town Supervisor for Henrietta suggested she do something else. That man, Steve Shultz, suggested she explore running for
Henrietta Town Justice. When Schutz was contacted and asked what his thoughts were at that time, he said simply “Henrietta needed diversity” and he knew Sue was capable of the responsibility. Until Judge Michel ran for office and won, the Henrietta judicial system had been run by all white men for more than 100 years. Shultz continued his comment with an example “Suppose you were a female victim in a domestic abuse case, talking about the case in front of a female judge might make an already terrible situation a bit easier to talk about”. He went on to say “A justice system not equally represented by a diverse group in charge of it hardly feels fair, does it?”.
Sue thought long and hard about running for the office of Justice. She knew the Justices who were in place and had worked in front of some of them. As Sue thought about the run, she had a good idea how difficult it would be. It would require a tremendous amount of time, effort and some money. She had no name recognition, a huge key to being elected. She knew she would have to reach as many of the citizens of Henrietta as possible in order to get her name and qualifications before them. The one and only way to do that would be knocking on doors and introducing herself to as many people in Henrietta as she could. As she considered all the challenges she would have to face, she also considered the consequences of not running. She decided not running was not an option. She forged ahead knowing her life for the next year was going to be something she had never experienced. As she suspected, the race itself was tough enough; sleepless nights, endless phone calling and almost daily knocking on doors – into the thousands. In the midst of the campaign her mother had a heart attack and Sue drove back and forth to Buffalo to assist her family in the caretaking. Sue also had help. Sitting judges gave her advice her, the Henrietta Democrats, including her running mates, gave invaluable help and she had a strong support team. This story ended in a win! Judge Michel was officially sworn in and now sits as one of the presiding Justices in the Town of Henrietta. She treats all coming before her with respect and is ferociously concerned with their rights, treating prosecutors and defense attorneys with equal regard – just as Steve Schultz thought she would. Congratulations to a race well run Judge.
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DEPRESSION PART 1 BY JENNIFER FRARY
You know what depression is, right? What it means to have depression? It doesn’t necessarily mean you are sad, always crying, suicidal (though each of these symptoms is possible). It could mean that you have lost interest in previously enjoyed activities and hobbies. It could mean that you are tired all of the time and often don’t get out of bed. It could mean that you feel physical pain that doesn’t have a solely physical cause. Or maybe you’re irritable all the time and can’t seem to stop snapping at the kids. Depression has many symptoms that show up in different people in different ways at different times. No two depression experiences are exactly the same.
I was sort of twenty-five to twenty-eight was a dark time. It’s that absence of feeling — and it’s even the absence of hope that you can feel better. And it’s so difficult to describe to someone who’s never been there because it’s not sadness. Sadness is — I know sadness — sadness is not a bad thing. You know? To cry and to feel. But it’s that cold absence of feeling — that really hollowedout feeling. That’s what the Dementors are. And it was because of my daughter that I went and got help.” Gloria Steinem offers: “I myself cried when
According to www.womenshealth. gov “In the past year, women were almost twice as likely as men to have symptoms of depression. Depression is not a normal part of being a woman. Most women, even those with the most severe depression, can get better with treatment.” If that’s the case it makes me wonder why more women aren’t seeking help. Now, depression makes up approximately half of my practice, but I know that many women are still just plugging along, pushing through, instead of getting help. One reason some aren’t in treatment is stigma. Additionally there are financial and cultural barriers. Reducing stigma can save lives. One way is to talk about it. Famous women have been talking more and more about this their experiences with depression. Here are two examples: JK Rowling told Oprah in 2010 “I think I had tendencies toward depression from quite young. It became really acute when
I got angry, then became unable to explain why I was angry in the first place. Later I would discover this was endemic among female human beings. Anger is supposed to be ‘unfeminine’ so we suppress it — until it overflows. I could see that not speaking up made my mother feel worse. This was my first hint of the truism that depression is anger turned inward; thus women are twice as likely to be depressed.” —My Life on the Road, October 2015 There’s also a cultural expectation that as women we “can do it all.” I am here to
supplement that statement with “but not alone.” When we push so hard to “do it all” over a long period of time there is a significant risk of failure, guilt, shame, and a resulting depression. Women don’t have to be one-person wrecking crews for the goals and aspirations of their lives. Asking for help, accepting and receiving help, makes a world of difference. Treatments for depression commonly involve both medication and therapy. I’m not a doctor so I won’t go into the medication options here, but please do your research before talking with your prescriber. In many, depression can be managed well with nutritional and supplemental routines in combination with therapy, if you wish to avoid pharmaceuticals. Therapeutic approaches for depression include, but are not limited to, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), and Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). Depending on your history and goals, one mode of treatment may work better for you than the others. When looking for a therapist, seek out someone who lists depression as a speciality and ask them if they are trained in these approaches. Holistic approaches can also be effective in treating and managing depression. These approaches include (but are not limited to): acupuncture, acupressure techniques like Tapping, energy work, exercise, faith practices, and meditation. When it comes to the symptoms of depression or the treatment of depression, one size does not fit all. Reach out today if you are experiencing any depressive symptoms. You can get better!
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NEW HOT TRENDS IN AESTHETICS IN 2020 BY CHRISTINA MCDONALD
What is trending and hot in 2020 is nonsurgical aesthetics with the concept that less is more. There is a push and focus on not looking overdone. Having a filtered appearance without all the makeup. With the age of social media, it is all about photos and how one appears from different angles. We want to look like we have a snap chat filter on at all times. These are some of the new trends as we journey through 2020. Injectables: • “Lit Lift” This is especially focused for the millennial. Little bits of filler and Botox to get the best version of themselves. Allowing for a gorgeous look without the filters. “Nofilterjustfiller.”
improve or make the lips more symmetric, while also creating volume and shape to the other parts of the lip such as the cupids bow, oral commissure, philtrum columns. This year there will be a release of many more fillers on the market. Most of which have been used for many years in Europe, but will clear for FDA approval in the coming year. SKIN REJUVENATION: PRP is making a comeback. Plateletrich Plasma for skin and hair restoration. Mainly delivered through microneedling chambers. Used as a stand alone therapy or as adjunctive therapy for skin and hair
• Preventative injectable- Light use or dusting of neurotoxin or filler to gain a softer improved look. Botox, Dysport, Jeuveau, and Xeomin. Starting 20’s and 30’s.
• Masseter injections to improve the angle and profile of the jaw. Providing aesthetics improvements while also offering symptomatic improvements. Off label uses in the masseter improve TMJDtemporomandibular joint disorder. Improve the symptoms related to clenching and grinding teeth. • Lip Augmentation: Lips will always be all the rage. There are many aspects of the lips that can be improved. Can define the vermillion border, more fullness to the pout, 310
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Phototherapy (BBL/IPL) is using laser to brighten, tighten, and reduce fine lines and wrinkles and to treat texture and tone. This therapy has been around for many years, but there is a push for multiple modalities to achieve a more youthful appearance. NEW TRENDS IN BODY TREATMENTS: Hotest new trends focus on tightening and skin laxity while also focusing on noninvasive fat reduction. There are many different machines of which do this in different modalities. Non-surgical body treatments such as Coolsculpting. Noninvasive fat cell reduction with the use of freezing technology for permanent fat reduction. This can be combined with Emsculpt which helps build muscle definition. A new way to tighten muscles with the use of laser technology. Way to build muscles mass and sculpt the body. Contract muscles beyond what is possible through physical therapy. Focus on the abs and the buttock muscles.
• New injectable coming out from Allergan, maker of Botox is Bonti- Fast acting neurotoxin. Comes on quickly and wears off quickly. For those trying neurotoxin for the first time. Also great for those using this for an event. • Liquid Rhinoplasty- All the rage, a nice way to start to make improvements in the face. Non-permanent option for changes to subtle issues with the nose. Such as small humps or bumps. Small improvements with great rewards
devices offer blue and red light which can be used to brighten skin while also minimizing acne.
rejuvenation. Encourages and improve skin laxity and improving fine lines. While in the scalp encouraging fuller thicker hair, while repairing damaged hair follicles. Laser Rejuvenation- especially when requires minimal downtime. Lasers with great recognition. Sciton and the Picosecond laser. Laser with Radiofrequency. This allows for tightening of the skin. Can be used in the neck-Ulterapy. In the face in conjunction with microneedling-Morpheus-8. The combination of microneedling and radiofrequency is the amplification of results. Results can be seen in as soon as two weeks. Typically blood free due to coagulation effect. Quick recovery. Some
Skin tightening is gaining popularity with the use of Radiofrequency. Again many different lasers offering similar results. It ultimately comes down to each Individuals expectations and what their concerns may be. Often the best results are achieved with a combination of different therapies, while others may just focus their attention on just one area. Advancements have been made in that most to almost all procedures can be obtained in the office with the use of local numbing to very minimal sedation. The focus is to look natural while improving skin and appearance overall.
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