Stand By Me
An Adventure in Self-Esteem & Communication
Thursday, May 23, 2024
Interview with Ross A. Lurgio Principal, Ed Joyce & Stand By Me Steering Committee and Lurgio Staff Member, Beth Fitzgerald
Can you give us a brief history of how the Stand By Me program got started?
Beth:
Stand By Me was started by two Bedford parents, Connie Roy-Czyzowski and Lisa Lynch, in 1989. After learning about the “Project Safeguard” program in Merrimack, they approached Mike Hague, a McKelvie counselor, about starting a similar anti-drug and alcohol program in Bedford. They formed a parent committee and planned the first event, naming it Stand By Me, for May 1990. The Stand By Me program they designed consists of a keynote speaker to kick off the day and then parents and students attending three self-selected workshops.
Because of the size of the event, with almost 700 participants, we have always rented facilities at local colleges. We have used the former Hesser College, SNHU, and this year we are excited to have secured Saint Anselm College as the newest location.
The last time we held Stand By Me was May 2019. Our graduating senior class was the last Bedford student body to participate. Due to pandemic restrictions, we had a few years when we could not have the event. In May 2023, we had a mini event for our 7th graders consisting of an assembly and a workshop creating vision boards. We are extremely excited to be bringing back the program in its full form this year!
Can you describe the key goals and objectives you set for the event in terms of fostering self-esteem and effective communication?
Ed:
To put it simply, we are looking to partner with parents to help raise healthy kids. There are so many aspects to helping our kids navigate adolescence, from developing goals to maintaining your healthy lifestyle. At the end of the day, we hope that students leave with more knowledge, skills and perspective on how to be successful in their lives.
What types of workshops or sessions are planned for this year’s SBM, and how were they designed to engage and benefit the 7th grade participants and their parents?
Ed:
Raising kids has never been an easy, simple task and the challenges our students face are ever changing. The workshops look to provide up to date information to parents and students in an effort to help them navigate adolescence and provide tools to reach their potential. We also recognize that each one of our attendees (students and parents) are unique and have very different interests and needs. Hence, each participant in the program has a choice of which sessions they would like to attend. Workshop presenters consist of professional speakers, guidance counselors, educators, health care professionals, and local/state police officers. Workshops are engaging and encourage questions and discussion.
Beth:
In the fall, we surveyed students, teachers, and parents/guardians to ask what topics and issues are most important to them. Parents and students have input in what they’d like to learn. For example, when Stand By Me first began, cell phones and social media did not even exist! But, over 30 plus years, some core topics have remained the same: communication, goal setting, balancing demands, relationships, and future academic planning.
Ed:
Of particular note, we are very pleased to have our keynote speaker, Ed Gerety, return to the program. Mr. Gerety truly gets the program and sets the perfect tone for the day, sharing an important message about respect for ourselves and others and the impact of our choices and decisions.
How did you involve parents or guardians in the event to extend the impact beyond the school setting?
Beth:
Stand By Me could not happen without the support of parents and guardians. In August, we formed a Steering Committee that meets monthly. I’m thankful for my co-chair, Meg Duhaime, who helps share the responsibility of overseeing all the many facets of Stand By Me. We also have ten others on the committee who coordinate speakers, publicity/marketing, fundraising, finances, website and brochure development, event day logistics, and the Student Committee.
On the day of Stand By Me, we also have about 25-30 volunteers. These persons are important for directing students and parents, providing another copy of lost schedules, and evaluating our presenters. So here’s a plug to contact the school if you’d like to volunteer on May 23rd - you’ll get a free St. A’s lunch!
After the day, we ask parents and students to complete a survey about their workshops. This is important feedback for us to know and impacts our future planning. Again, this is another opportunity for input in shaping the best program we can offer
Have you encountered any unexpected challenges during the event in previous years, and how did you address or overcome them?
Ed:
The most unexpected challenge that Stand By Me has encountered in the last 34 years is the pandemic. Events that gathered over seven hundred people together were shut down. As I mentioned earlier, Stand By Me does not happen without a core of very dedicated parents on the Steering Committee. I am especially thankful for this year’s committee as the challenge of rebooting a program is herculean. They have met this challenge head on and this year promises to be one the best events we have ever held!
Beth:
We have never had challenges finding experts in their field to help our students and parents. Our biggest challenge has been logistics. Coordinating 700 people, from registration to parking to serving lunch, is always difficult but it all comes together on the big day. One funny story (although it was not funny at the time) was the one year we forgot to schedule our school buses to bring the 350 students over to the college to start off the day! That was a pressure filled moment but our bus company quickly helped arrange the drivers and we had just a slight 20 minute delay.
Can you share any success stories or positive outcomes that resulted from the event, either immediately or over time?
Ed:
Some of the most positive outcomes for me are when I hear parents and students share something they learned at Stand By Me sometimes days, months, and years after the event. It is heartwarming to know that the event has made a lasting impact.
Beth:
A student a year from now may not remember all the specific details learned in the Stand By Me workshops but they will remember spending the day with their family and friends and the general overall tone of the day.
Since they are able to select what workshops they want to attend, they love having the choice of what is important to them. We also highly encourage the student and parent to have at least one workshop together There is no other “field trip” in Bedford that involves an entire student body and their parent/guardian for the entire day!
Can you discuss the role of the Student Committee? Do the leadership opportunities within the event empower middle schoolers?
Ed:
The Stand By Me Student Committee embodies many of the goals of the program. A major goal is that students understand and recognize that they have the ability to make their school community a better place.
Beth:
Our Student Committee is another example of what makes Stand By Me so impactful. We don’t just have parents planning the day, but also have teenagers invested in organizing and communicating to their peers. This year we have 30 students on the committee! They meet monthly to prepare presentations for their homerooms and community organizations, discuss workshop topics, make posters, and participate in fundraising. Recently, we had five students present to the Bedford Men’s Club seeking a donation. They gained valuable experience practicing speaking before an adult audience!
What resources or external partners did you collaborate with to enhance the content and impact of the event?
Ed:
We could not finance Stand By Me without donations from our local civic and business organizations. The Bedford Men’s Club provided a generous donation which has fully funded our facility rental at St. Anselm College. We are thankful to the Bedford PTG whose donation has fully paid for several workshop speakers. In addition, donations from the Bedford Lions Club, A. J. LeBlanc HVAC, London Family Orthodontics, Moin Orthodontics, and Liberty Hill Construction will help fund workshop speakers. These are just a few of the incredible businesses and organizations that are helping us bring Stand By Me back in full swing this year.
Beth:
Lurgio administrators also attend the monthly Steering Committee meetings. They provide valuable insight into previous event history and resources for the day
How have you addressed potential resistance or reluctance from students (and/or parents) who may have been initially hesitant to participate?
Ed:
I have addressed this in a few ways. First, I am always happy to meet with the student and or parent to explain more about the program. Second, I encourage them to speak with other community members that have attended or been involved. Lastly, I direct them to the Stand By Me website so they can take their time to read through the brochure. Seeing the wide assembly of speakers and the various workshops being offered is just plain impressive. Someone would be hard pressed not to find something that piques their interest.
Beth:
To me, this is the most important question! If your student says they don’t want you, the parent, to come, that is a normal response. However, bottom line…please come! The majority of students have at least one parent, guardian, grandparent, etc. with them. The day is always fun, informative, and a valuable opportunity for connection with our children.