MONKLIFE
living a s a benedictine novice Every journey has to begin somewhere. Life in a habit starts in the Novitiate. For one year these men live under the tutelage and guidance of the Novice Master, Fr. Meinrad Miller, and prepare to profess simple vows, becoming active members of the community.
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Getting to know Myself by Br. Placidus Lee
A Humbling Experience by Br. Benedict Geist
Living as a Benedictine Novice is not something I can easily describe – luckily for me, the novices recently had the opportunity to attend a retreat offered by Fr. Michael Casey, a Trappist monk known for writing on the Rule of St. Benedict and Benedictine spirituality. He described monastic life is as a school of self-knowledge. I always thought I knew myself well. But in my experience, my interactions in community life are like a mirror in which my truest self is reflected back at me. When I pause at the end of the day and recollect how my day went, sometimes I do not like what I see: I lacked charity here; I was short there. At first I was scandalized by what I was learning about myself, but slowly I grew in understanding that knowing one’s self in radical honesty is the first step in really growing spiritually. This self-knowledge leads to true humility, knowing not only where one is weak but also where one is strong. What I’ve seen in the mirror of community life this year hasn’t always been bad. I have learned that I am also improving and doing well in many ways. I’ve also learned that I am a decent brittle cook and do well with our work around the grounds. On a more personal level, I have found that I am able to give to the community and my relationships even when I am having a bad day or difficulty in connecting with others at the moment. Even when I do not like what I see looking back at me in that mirror, these opportunities have led me to better myself in ways I could have never known outside the monastery. This year has been a great opportunity to get to know myself more and grow closer to God’s plan for me in that. As I round out the final months of my time as a novice, I am immensely appreciative of what this community has given me and look forward to what is in store for me here in the future.
“My Son, if you come forward to serve the Lord, remain in justice and in fear, and prepare yourself for temptation.” - Sirach 2:1 This passage, one of my favorites from scripture, describes the novitiate very well. Since I became a novice, I have experienced many beautiful moments of prayer with God. I have also faced many temptations – including anything from sleeping in to harboring a grudge. I have learned first hand that the devil does not like monks. The novitiate has provided a window for me to look in upon myself and take stock of my weaknesses and strengths. It has also helped me to get an idea of what it takes to be a monk and whether or not I will be able to persevere. But I know God is stronger than anything that stands in my way: “Await God’s patience, cling to him and do not depart, that you may be wise in all your ways” (v. 3). I know that despite everything, God will always be there with his mercy. In this year I have been privileged to witness many great examples of how to live the life of a monk in my confreres and have learned how to be more properly part of a community centered on Christ. I often find Christ startlingly present in them, sometimes when I least expect it. I take courage and heart from their examples, their fellowship, and their prayers. They are a living witness for me: “Consider the ancient generations and see: who ever trusted in the Lord and was put to shame?” (v. 10). Even in my novice Brothers, I have found friends who will walk this path with me until the end of our lives. I look forward to seeing them grow older and holier as we progress down this road together. Finally, I have had the privilege of experiencing death and the frailty of life in those confreres who have gone before. It has been a humbling experience and a continual reminder of what I hope will be my end. “Let us fall into the hands of the Lord, for as his majesty is, so also is his mercy” (v. 18).
Kansas Monks
