Monk Life - Novitiate

living as a benedictine novice

Every journey has to begin somewhere. Life in a habit starts in the Novitiate. For one year these men live under the tutelage and guidance of the Novice Master, Fr. Meinrad Miller, and prepare to profess simple vows, becoming active members of the community.

Getting to know Myself by Br. Placidus Lee

A Humbling Experience by Br. Benedict Geist

Living as a Benedictine Novice is not something I can easily describe – luckily for me, the novices recently had the opportunity to attend a retreat offered by Fr. Michael Casey, a Trappist monk known for writing on the Rule of St. Benedict and Benedictine spirituality. He described monastic life is as a school of self-knowledge.

I always thought I knew myself well. But in my experience, my interactions in community life are like a mirror in which my truest self is reflected back at me. When I pause at the end of the day and recollect how my day went, sometimes I do not like what I see: I lacked charity here; I was short there. At first I was scandalized by what I was learning about myself, but slowly I grew in understanding that knowing one’s self in radical honesty is the first step in really growing spiritually. This self-knowledge leads to true humility, knowing not only where one is weak but also where one is strong.

What I’ve seen in the mirror of community life this year hasn’t always been bad. I have learned that I am also improving and doing well in many ways. I’ve also learned that I am a decent brittle cook and do well with our work around the grounds. On a more personal level, I have found that I am able to give to the community and my relationships even when I am having a bad day or difficulty in connecting with others at the moment.

Even when I do not like what I see looking back at me in that mirror, these opportunities have led me to better myself in ways I could have never known outside the monastery. This year has been a great opportunity to get to know myself more and grow closer to God’s plan for me in that. As I round out the final months of my time as a novice, I am immensely appreciative of what this community has given me and look forward to what is in store for me here in the future.

“My Son, if you come forward to serve the Lord, remain in justice and in fear, and prepare yourself for temptation.” - Sirach 2:1

This passage, one of my favorites from scripture, describes the novitiate very well. Since I became a novice, I have experienced many beautiful moments of prayer with God. I have also faced many temptations – including anything from sleeping in to harboring a grudge. I have learned first hand that the devil does not like monks. The novitiate has provided a window for me to look in upon myself and take stock of my weaknesses and strengths. It has also helped me to get an idea of what it takes to be a monk and whether or not I will be able to persevere. But I know God is stronger than anything that stands in my way: “Await God’s patience, cling to him and do not depart, that you may be wise in all your ways” (v. 3). I know that despite everything, God will always be there with his mercy.

In this year I have been privileged to witness many great examples of how to live the life of a monk in my confreres and have learned how to be more properly part of a community centered on Christ. I often find Christ startlingly present in them, sometimes when I least expect it. I take courage and heart from their examples, their fellowship, and their prayers. They are a living witness for me: “Consider the ancient generations and see: who ever trusted in the Lord and was put to shame?” (v. 10). Even in my novice Brothers, I have found friends who will walk this path with me until the end of our lives. I look forward to seeing them grow older and holier as we progress down this road together. Finally, I have had the privilege of experiencing death and the frailty of life in those confreres who have gone before. It has been a humbling experience and a continual reminder of what I hope will be my end. “Let us fall into the hands of the Lord, for as his majesty is, so also is his mercy” (v. 18).

Listen carefully, my son, to the master’s instructions, and attend to them with the ear of your heart. This is advice from a father who loves you; welcome it, and faithfully put it into practice.

- Rule of St. Benedict, Prologue: 1

Seeking Stability by Fr. Jay Kythe

Where I Found God by Br. Karel Soukup

Having come from the background of a busy parish priest, one could say that my new life as a novice at St. Benedict’s Abbey has been an escape to a simpler life. Seriously, how often do people get to have a year-long retreat? However, my time in the novitiate has been much more than a retreat from a busy world. It has deepened the role of stability in my life.

The world is a busy place, and I lived in it. I found it “crazymaking.” People often resign themselves to the fact that this is the way things are. But this never made sense to me. If God is unchanging, and we are to share in his divine life, somehow shouldn’t the stability of God be reflected in our lives on earth? Monastic life does exactly that, with its daily rhythm of ora et labora, and it encourages us to take that back into the world for the purpose of bringing some order and stability in the chaos of daily life. Monastic life challenges us to realize that we are often responsible for a lot of our own “crazy-making” busyness, and perhaps we need to cast aside sin and deepen our life with Christ to bring order and stability into our lives.

In the novitiate I was invited to rest in the stability of monastic life. There were, of course, many times when our routine was disrupted, but it was clear that stability was the norm rather than the exception.

This was made clear to me twice this summer when Atchison was under tornado warnings. As we took refuge in the subcrypt, I remember looking outside from the boiler room doors at the frightening scene of the storm. I was grateful for the thick walls and foundations of the monastery, and I realized that this is how monasteries should be built: strong, stable structures set on a hill (or bluff), inviting everyone to enter into the stability of God and of his Church, built upon solid rock. Yet despite being built to last, monasteries come and go. But if they can call people to rest upon the unchanging rock of Christ and to look towards eternal life, they have fulfilled their purpose.

Fr. Meinrad tells us of a monk from our motherhouse who would sigh, “Ah, to be a novice again.” When asked why he would want to be a novice, he responded, “Because then I could leave!” Those words ring true with me. I entered the novitiate in 2007 with Br. Leven. After nine months I left. Seven years later, I found myself in the last place I ever imagined: right where I started. In between, I studied in seminary, worked at a grocery store and as executive director for a small not-for-profit organization.

As novices, we take no vows; we are free to leave at any time and can be dismissed from the community at any time. Nonetheless, it has been precisely this freedom to leave which, for me, has been most educative in the vow of stability which I am preparing to profess. The past eight years, both my time in and out of the monastery, have taught me that my joy does not come from the material circumstances in which I find myself, nor my happiness from achieving self-imposed goals. Rather, I see every day that my life is given meaning: Christ who sustains me and works through me and in me, no matter where I am.

It is said that The New York Times once sent an inquiry to G.K. Chesterton asking him to compose an essay on the topic “What’s Wrong with the World.” His response was simple: “I am.” There’s a similar saying repeated to those discerning religious vocations: “You won’t find a perfect religious community; and if you do, don’t join because you’ll screw it up.” The monastery isn’t perfect, I learned that eight years ago. It took me a lot longer to figure out that neither am I, and that the things I thought I would escape by leaving had an amazing knack for following me.

St. Benedict says that the novice should be one who truly seeks God. But that is the basic desire of every human heart, and God is to be found both within the monastery and without. I have returned to the monastery because I have found God here, because I see Christ working here, in me, in my brothers, in our apostolates and in our guests.