Kansas Monks
Strengthening Your Marital Commitment through Prayer and Work An Interview with Father Justin D. Dean Father Justin Dean is from Montgomery, Alabama. For eighteen years, he was a priest of the Archdiocese of Mobile. During that time, he served as a high school teacher, campus minister, pastor and prison chaplain. In August of 2009 he joined St. Benedict’s Abbey and professed first vows on December 8, 2010. Father Justin enjoys speaking about marriage and family life. He has hosted three series on marriage for EWTN and has spoken to various groups around the country. The editors of Kansas Monks Magazine sat down with him to discuss how couples could strengthen their commitment to marriage through prayer and work, the two foundations of Benedictine monasticism.
First off: Some of our readers may wonder whether a single, celibate man should be sharing advice about marriage. What would you say to them? Well, I’m not a chicken and I’ve never laid an egg, but I know more about an omelet than a chicken ever will. Not all of our knowledge comes from experience—although I have lived with a family and have witnessed good family life firsthand. I’ve worked with Catholic Engaged Encounter and helped over 400 couples prepare for marriage. Couples have come to see me and shared their marital problems and challenges. I’ve shared their joys and struggles. And, as an unmarried priest, I feel I can be more objective: I’m not necessarily going to take the husband’s side just because I’m a man. In seminary, I received great teaching in marriage, the family, and human sexuality. My professor was Dr. John Haas, who is the president of the National Catholic Bioethics Center and regularly addresses the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops on sexual and biomedical issues.
The Benedictine motto is Ora et Labora, prayer and work. In what way does praying together enhance marital commitment?
The monk’s life is rooted in a constant rhythm of work and prayer. Married couples can use this motto to strengthen their marital bond by learning how prayer and work compliment one another.
What are some practical suggestions for praying together? I think couples should take some time each day, morning or evening, to prayer together They should take a few moments in quiet prayer, then voice some of their prayer requests aloud. The husband could begin the time of vocal prayer. The wife would follow suit. They should share anything going on in life, pray for each other, praise and thank God, bring their needs or the important decisions to God together. To end things, the husband could lead in praying the Our Father and the wife could lead in praying the Hail Mary. Spending that time in prayer, as they go about building their relationship and living life, will help immensely. 12
The Catholic Church teaches that, as human beings, we are “a unity of body and soul.” Our souls are the deepest part of who we are. And there is an intimate connection between our souls and our bodies. When a husband and wife connect to God and each other through prayer, they strengthen the connection between their souls. And this, in turn, enhances their physical relationship. So, prayer helps us bond at the deepest level. The spiritual enhances the physical.
