A Committed Life

We can urge a person to pursue a life of

commitment, but he or she might well ask, “why is it worth it?” Certainly, there are times when it would seem to be easier, for instance, to give up on a marriage. Also, the vocation to the priesthood or religious life often requires significant self-denial. Why would someone choose that life over one that involved little sacrifice? Those are good questions. In order to answer them, we have to ask another good question:

What is the benefit of a committed life?

Commitment liberates us to more fully live out our humanity. It helps us become the person we were truly meant to be.

When God made humans, he granted them the freedom to make choices. Making a commitment forces us to exercise that freedom at its deepest level. Small choices operate at the surface level of one’s consciousness. Commitments operate in the depth of one’s consciousness and permeate the entire personality.

Our choices and actions determine our character. In this way we are self-determining. By my many and repeated choices I become the person I am. If we do not make far-reaching and profound choices, then we remain a shallow person.

On the other hand, if we commit ourselves to something good, the effects on us are great. For instance: Being a husband, father and family man forces a man to enter into many relationships and to deal with a wide variety of problems. These demand adjustments, patience and a spirit of generosity. All this is character building. As a relationship grows, so also do the friendship and the joys that follow. If a person refuses to make a commitment, then he refuses to enter into the great mystery of life, which is full of unforeseen challenges, but also full of unexpected joys.

When we face new problems, then we are forced to step out of our comfort zones and develop new dimensions of our personality. We become richer, more mature, more fully developed human persons.

Some people refuse to make commitments because they do not want to close off all their options. “What if someone/thing better comes along?” This means, in effect, that you refuse to make the total personal gift of self here and now. You refuse to respond to the real good that is present to you, waiting for your response.

It is good for parents to commit themselves to their sons and daughters. A child needs unconditional love. A child discovers his/her personal worth and dignity by this sacrifice. He feels loved, cherished just for being the unique person he is; that is the basis of his security, his self-esteem.

A growing boy or girl will make mistakes, will embarrass his parents, or simply will try their patience. This is par for the course of human relations in a family. But the young person learns from his/ her mistakes and corrections. The parents learn how to parent and also something about Father Matthew Habiger patience. Real love is often self-sacrificial. You suffer something when you do what is best for another.

Raising a young person to adulthood is a great achievement, both for the parents and for the young adult. This takes at least eighteen years and demands consistency and reliability. We commit ourselves to long-term goals. The commitment carries us through the many obstacles along the way.

It is good for spouses to commit themselves to each other. The only proper response to a person is love. Love is seen in one’s willingness (choice) to be totally devoted to another person. To love means to regard the good (well-being) of the other as one’s own personal good. In marriage, a man and a woman become spouses who are totally devoted to each other. There is no greater form of friendship than true marriage.

When a couple “falls in love” and wants to share their lives together into the unknown future, then they make a choice to marry. This is a lifetime commitment. There is an emotional component to this, but the dominant components are full knowledge and full consent. Love is a choice. Marriage is a decision, and this decision is renewed day after day. The original glow of emotions will fade away, but the core of the marriage, that is their relationship based upon a choice, endures. As God designed marriage, the relationship is meant to grow, deepen and ripen throughout the entire lifespan of the couple. The relationship is to get better as the years progress.

When a man and a woman are committed to their relationship, then remarkable things happen. They can sustain jolts and unforeseen crises because they are confident that each one is dedicated to their relationship and to doing whatever it takes to sustain it. They confidently rely upon God and the support He promised them at their wedding vows. It takes a lifetime to fully complete the potential of a marriage. What sustains the marriage is the commitment they make during the wedding vows, and the renewal of those vows every day with little acts of tenderness and caring.

So, what is the benefit of a committed life? We were designed by God to make good choices and to commit to them. They assist us in becoming fully developed, rich persons. Commitment helps us become who we were meant to be.

Saint Benedict

on commitment

When he is to be received, he comes before the whole community in the oratory and promises stability, fidelity to monastic life, and obedience. This is done in the presence of God and his saints...He states his promise in a document drawn up in the name of the saints whose relics are there and to the Abbot...[He] then begins the verse: Receive me Lord and I shall live; do not disappoint me in my hope. (Ps 118[119]:116). If he has any possessions, he should either give them to the monastery or to the poor... -RB 58: 17,19,24

10:00 a.m. Mass

Immediately followed by a tour and lunch with the community.

The Following Dates are available September 16 and 23 October 7, 21 and 28; November 11 and 18, December 2 and 9