Together Tackling Sectarianism Drama Pack 2016

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Together Tackling Sectarianism Drama Pack

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Learn more about the project and its impact Reflect on thoughts and opinions Adapt scripts to your needs Engage your community in addressing sectarian language and behaviour Tackle sectarianism through arts

INDEX

THE PROJECT: INTRODUCTORY INFORMATION

THE PROJECT: INTRODUCTORY INFORMATION About Just Festival About Black Dingo Productions Minister's Foreword Together Tackling Sectarianism - project activities Project impact on audiences Project impact on project participants DRAMA PACK Plays Reviews Scripts: Kiss, Cuddle. Torture - selected scenes The Onion of Bigotry - selected scenes Warrior Acknowledgements DVD

About Just Festival Just Festival is one of Edinburgh's most exciting and diverse festivals. It features events and activities across Edinburgh aimed at challenging perceptions, celebrating differences and promoting respectful dialogue. Just Festival conversations, talks, exhibitions and performances are designed to engage with topical local, national and international questions of social justice, equality and identity, including prejudice against race, ethnicity, class and economic status. Just Festival explores these issues by creating safe spaces for dialogue and exchange between affected groups and individuals, invited experts, practitioners, community based organisations, socially conscious performing arts groups and the general public.

This Drama Pack is designed for you to: -

Learn more about the project and its impact Reflect on thoughts and opinions Adapt scripts to your needs Engage your community in addressing sectarian language and behaviour Tackle sectarianism through arts

www.just-festival.org About Black Dingo Productions Founded by David McFarlane in 2012, Black Dingo Productions is a not-for-profit community with a DIY ethic. It supports Edinburgh?s emerging talent in theatre and brings affordable theatre to audiences year round. It works as an umbrella under which established theatre professionals can work together with others looking to become more established, and create work for the benefit of all. blackdingoproductions.wordpress.com

MINISTER'S FOREWORD Sectarianism, and other forms of prejudice and hatred, should have no place in a modern, progressive country such as Scotland.

complex layers of sectarianism, as it exists for many in our society, and explore the impact and consequences of such vile and outdated attitudes and behaviours, using narrative storytelling brought vividly to life through performance. I have seen the plays for myself and am thrilled that the creation of this challenging resource now means that many others will have the opportunity to access and benefit from this work.

Over the past two years I have been hugely impressed with the broad range of work and approaches that have been taken to tackle sectarianism, but, among those approaches, the arts-based work has been particularly effective in articulating the senseless suffering caused by sectarian bigotry, and its self-defeating outcomes, and this has therefore been among the most powerful and engaging means of changing attitudes and behaviours.

Through theatre, music, and visual arts we can hear both cries from the heart for change in our society but we can also see and feel the hope that individuals and their communities can change for the better & work together.

I believe that sectarianism has had its day and that Scotland is ready to embrace a future where all Scots from all backgrounds are united by mutual respect, compassion and humanity. The work of our talented writers, directors, actors, artists, poets, musicians and others moves us ever closer to that aim.

That is why I am delighted to introduce this new drama resource which has grown out of a very fruitful and productive partnership between Just Festival and the talented team at Black Dingo Productions. 'Together Tackling Sectarianism' helps us to get underneath the

Paul Wheelhouse MSP Minister for Community Safety and Legal Affairs

lll

From left: Amy Gilmartin (Director of 'Warrior'), John Love, Euan Brockie, Paul Wheelhouse MSP, Deborah Whyte and Jennifer Adam (Playwright)

TOGETHER TACKLING SECTARIANISM - PROJECT ACTIVITIES Financed by The Scottish Government Tackling Sectarianism Fund, the project aims at increasing awareness regarding sectarian language and behaviour, addressing roots of the sectarian divide in Scotland as well as providing safe spaces for individuals and communities to express their observations, experiences and opinions surrounding the issue.

In 2013 Black Dingo Productions began working with the Just Festival to produce 6 plays based around the subject of Sectarianism. In 2013 we produced three plays, 'Singin' I'm not a Billy he's a Tim' by Des Dylan; 'Creepie Stool' by Jen McGregor, and 'Kiss, Cuddle, Torture' by Jen Adam. In 2014 we commissioned a further two plays: 'Warrior' by Jen Adam and 'Such a Nice Girl' by Jen McGregor, as well as a new musical from The Kielty Brothers called 'The Onion of Bigotry' .The six plays were performed as part of the Just and Edinburgh Fringe Festivals in 2013 & 2014.

In early 2015 we worked in conjunction with Nil by Mouth and Falkirk Community Trust to take 'Warrior' into schools. We worked with nearly one thousand students helping them to see early connections with their behaviour and sectarianism.

In 2015 and 2016 we partnered with Citizens Theatre, Glasgow Women?s Library, Sacro, Brora Community Learning Centre & Creativity in Care Scotland to bring

these plays to a wider audience. incl. Edinburgh, Glasgow, the Highlands and North & South Lanarkshire.

Nil by Mouth Campaign Director Dave Scott said: ?We are thrilled to be working with Jennifer and Black Dingo Productions on this project. ?Warrior? was premiered at the Edinburgh festival last year and we felt it had a powerful message which needed to be taken into schools. This is a clever and much needed play which pulls no punches.

Sadly, we are seeing people use the internet, and social media sites in particular, to spread hate and bigotry. We have been working with a number of offenders, victims and families over the past few years and what become very clear is that people do not think there are any consequences for abusing people online. It?s also astonishing how many people use words they don?t even understand.

We want to use these performances to highlight to teenagers that there are very real consequences for posting sectarian material on the internet.?

PROJECT IMPACT ON AUDIENCES Having seen one of the plays co-produced by Just Festival and Black Dingo Productions, our audiences shared their understanding and observations of the sectarian divide in Scotland by commenting on the roots of sectarianism in Scotland, sectarian behaviour and tackling sectarianism in Scotland. The comments were shared with the Scottish Government Community Safety Unit and the Advisory Group on Tackling Sectarianism in Scotland to the Scottish Government to provide feedback and better inform future policies surrounding sectarianism.

'[It is] still a big problem in Scotland, with no silver bullet to save the issues.'

Audiences on the roots of sectarianism in Scotland

'Prejudice against someone based upon their religion or true religion they are thought to be, often through the use of derogatory language or views which are often passed down through generations.'

'Too much thinking of them and us; maybe one help would be to ban (by law) having football teams where all are of the same religion ? so many Protestants and Catholics but seem to be very few Christians.'

'Learned behaviour which can unintentionally sometimes be associated with football.' ' It can be passed down through generations.'

'The roots are deeply ingrained and education can change this. Take your play to more schools!'

Audiences on sectarianism in Scotland 'As long as there are segregated/faith schools there will be sectarianism.'

'Education and performances seen as this are very good ways to discuss the issues.'

'It is out-of-date and an embarrassment to our global position. Get over it!' '[Sectarianism] is more prevalent and deeply rooted, and therefore more difficult to change than I first realised.'

Audiences on the definition of sectarian behaviour

'Any verbal or physical expression of negative/hate of religion think of it as Protestant and Catholics in Scotland and Ireland.'

'Extreme loyalty to a particular club/section of society/and prejudice against all ?outsiders? who are perceived not to belong.'

'Antisocial behaviour with ostensible roots in Catholic v.

Protestant antagonism especially in the West of Scotland. This comes out most violently at Celtic/Rangers football matches.'

PROJECT IMPACT ON PARTICIPANTS Audiences on steps to tackle sectarianism in Scotland 'All communities need to recognise what constitutes sectarianism behaviour and how it impacts on others.

Recognising the roots it?s not a ?one-way street?i.e. it?s their fault, not us and discuss their views across ?boundaries?to reach consensus and mutual understanding.'

'Tackling this issue can be so challenging for an individual to achieve. I feel the community should see it as a task + challenge to face. But first awareness needs to be created.'

'We should not just close our ears to it, not challenge it.

It can be a cowardly hateful reaction and we should not condone it.'

'The history of sectarianism shows that, most unfortunately, there is still a long way to go even if certain improvements - that is to say more religious tolerance - have definitely been achieved!?

School audiences on sectarian behaviour Having seen 'The Warrior' at Broxburn Academy, student Sarah Devlin said: ?It resonated quite well because we are using the social media a lot. You can see all these sectarian comments but you don?t realise how big a problem it is.?

We asked actors and film crew members about their project experience and the impact it had on their perception and understanding of sectarianism in Scotland. They said: 'Many friends who came to see the play who had little prior knowledge of experience of sectarianism were pleased the project was presented in a way that related to them.'

'Being part of this project has opened up many discussions with my family and friends.'

'If I was to find myself in a discussion about it, I would certainly have some points to make because of my time on this project.'

'I felt I learned a lot and the project gave sectarianism a context that I could personally relate to as opposed to the football terraces which is often how I've seen it presented.'

'The project made me realise that sectarianism can appear anywhere and in any group of people and the results can be devastating to people's lives.'

'Factual knowledge of the history of religion in Scotland and in modern day terms shows how subtle and still ingrained sectarianism is in us and what problems can arise by playing on ancient stereotypes.'

Together Tackling Sectarianism ? Drama Pack 6 Reviewed Plays | 3 Scripts | 1 DVD Project supported by the Scottish Government Tackling Sectarianism Programme 2013-2016

Creepie Stool by Jen McGregor Edinburgh, 24 July 1637, Jenny Geddes flings a stool at a minister and starts a riot in St Giles, a three-day brawl and, indirectly, the Covenanters?War. While Calvinists and Catholics clash violently on the city?s streets, Jenny?s employer demands an explanation ? leading to unwelcome discoveries behind closed doors. A story of secrets, lies, inept leadership, early Scottish sectarianism and the uncontrollable consequences of a single act of defiance. Inspired by a true story. A new play by Scottish playwright Jen McGregor. ?

A flair for irony, subtle provocation, detailed observation and wry wit ?The Creepie Stool?depicts the events surrounding unrest in 17th Century Edinburgh. The domestic setting is used as a microcosm of society, showing us a hidden Catholic amongst her fearful and revolutionary peers. A simple and witty original script makes great use of the Fringe audience, referencing how Edinburgh was overrun with Catholic strangers, in a comparison to the audience themselves. This elicits giggles throughout, lightening the tone of an otherwise sombre piece. The show is historically informative, although at times the references require a prior knowledge of mythology and places that may be lost on some audience members. This play is an obvious labour of love, and the cast are a pleasure to watch.' [Three Weeks Review] 'The play is one of those commissioned by Just at St John?s on the issue of sectarianism, and it approaches the issue in an original way by looking at post-Reformation tension between Protestant and Catholic. Discussion and argument between the three characters is punctuated by monologues from Geddes. (...)

Geddes, brilliantly played by Angela Milton, has no such qualms, and as the play progresses, further layers are added to the character as her background is revealed. She also has some very resonant speeches about ?new people?in Edinburgh, ?people you don?t know and can?t understand?.The modern-day parallels in this, as in the treatment of people of ?suspicious?religions, are clear but not laboured. (...) Debbie Cannon (Mrs Erskine) presents a suitably self-obsessed, self-pitying figure whose sympathy is always subservient to what the neighbours might think, and Belle Jones switches from pride to fear effectively as Christian.' [All Edinburgh Theatre Review] To request a copy of the script, please contact the playwright Jen McGregor directly at jennifermcgregor@gmail.com.

The Onion of Bigotry: A History of Hatred by The Kielty Brothers Layer by layer the onion of Sectarianism shall be peeled away? to music. Will there be tears? There should be. A musical play by the award-winning The Kielty Brothers.

'What on earth is an onion of bigotry? Well, over the space of an hour, this witty and entertaining musical explains it all to you. A full speed romp through the history of Scotland, its religious factions, royalty and the quirkiness of the Scottish nature, this show is a laugh-out-loud bite of insight into a subject many people have heard of but never really understood ? sectarianism.

Written by the (award winning) Kielty Brothers John and Gerry, who also star in this musical, accompanied by Jordanna O?Neill and Stanley Pattison, this is a show which has its tongue firmly in cheek and is all the better for it. (...)

The Kieltys?writing is intelligent and with clever use of parodies and mis-hearing of words, manages to draw in the audience as it weaves the tale of Scotland?s changing religious history. (...)

A subject such as sectarianism is not easy to address so it is refreshing to see work that acknowledges the ever-changing nature of belonging but does so in such a way that does not patronise or alienate its audience.' [Edinburgh Spotlight Review] 'With The Onion of Bigotry, A History of Hatred Black Dingo Productions and the Kielty Brothers have created an engaging and largely enjoyable piece of theatre. Four actors, each assuming the roles of various figures in the history of Scotland, guide the audience through the nation?s past in an attempt to peel back the layers of Scottish sectarianism and seek out its rotten core.

Without question it is a huge, dark topic to tackle in a mere hour but the light-hearted narration sprinkled liberally with musical numbers keeps the play from becoming too heavy. (...) Whilst a basic knowledge of Scottish history would definitely be needed to be in on all of the jokes, there?s enough silly stuff in there too for the less well-versed and for those simply keen to get an insight into the nation?s history, the show is ideal.' [Broadway Baby Review]

Such A Nice Girl by Jen McGregor The story tells us of Eilidh who has always been a nice girl. She's caring, she's polite and she's facing jail time. Based on personal experiences of grief and prejudice, faith and violence, Such a Nice Girl leaves no stone unturned.

'Well acted, intriguingly written and largely successful, Such a Nice Girl can be counted as another striking contribution to the Just Festival by Black Dingo Productions.

Nurse Eilidh is awaiting trial after sending a sectarian email to her superior Laura. This set-up sounds worryingly similar to that of Warrior, Black Dingo?s previous production this Fringe in the same venue ? the side chapel at St John?s church. As it turns out, however, the plays are very different. Where the earlier play had a thoroughly realistic feel, this one is set largely inside the head of one of the characters.

Eilidh?s email, as it turns out, contained rococo threats of violence that would have landed her in trouble without the anti-Protestant slurs. The focus of the play also opens out to include questions such as how to deal with grief and the way that people find themselves fitting into the roles of bully or victim. This has the effect of putting sectarianism in context rather than treating the subject as fuel for any kind of propaganda.

Jen McGregor?s writing deals with all of these themes elegantly, economically and thought-provokingly. There is a tautness throughout which creates a real tension.' [All Edinburgh Theatre Review] 'In a short running time the play covers a wide range of themes including grief, prejudices and religion but it never feels overly weighty. Director Angela Milton adds occasional stylistic elements into the proceedings and creates an atmospheric mood piece whilst moulding two exceptionally good performances from the actresses. In the end though, it is Jen McGregor?s thematically rich script that provides ample food for thought by the play?s end.'

[TV Bomb Review] To request a copy of the script, please contact the playwright Jen McGregor directly at jennifermcgregor@gmail.com.

Singin?I?m No a Billy He?s a Tim by Des Dillon Derby day, one Rangers fan, one Celtic fan, a single jail cell. The match isn't the only thing that will kick off. Funny, touching take on the age old issue of sectarianism.

'Black Dingo present a charming, well-paced and well-staged adaptation of Des Dillon?s Singin?I?m No a Billy He?s a Tim, examining the crudity and over-simplification at stake in sectarian animosity through the forced meeting of a ?typical?Rangers supporter and a ?typical?Celtic supporter.

The play is interestingly staged in the round here, the audience ranged around an elevated platform with the interesting and effective choice of a minimalistic frame to depict the cell which the two main characters occupy for the duration of the play.'

[Edinburgh Spotlight on Black Dingo adaptation] 'One of the most successful theatre shows Scotland has ever seen' [Evening Times on Des Dillon's play] 'On the day of an Old Firm clash, a Rangers and Celtic fan end up sharing a courtroom cell. Their only hope of escape is betting on the match to pay their fines. While taking turns to watch the game on a TV through their cell door, the pair bicker their way through every entrenched clichĂŠ of ?Scotland?s shame?from religion to politics and national identity.

But aided by their kindly turnkey Harry ? whose worries for his sick grandson help put their petty quarrels into perspective ? they?re forced to reach a grudging understanding.

Des Dillon?s brilliant satire of bigotry in Scotland and its connection with the nation?s two biggest football teams first scored critical acclaim at the Fringe in 2005, and has since been a near-constant fixture in theatres in Scotland.' [The Pavilion Theatre Glasgow on Des Dillon's piece] To request a copy of the script, please contact the playwright Des Dilllon directly at des@desdillon.com

Warrior by Jennifer Adam 16 year old Evan lives in a different world. A world where he can ignore unwanted attention and shut off from the harsh reality of high school. But when his world is threatened, he reacts hastily, with drastic consequences.

Detailing the time between his arrest for leaving anti-Catholic comments online and the day of his trial, Warrior explores the aftermath of blind - not bigoted - ignorance to sectarianism in Scotland.

'Sectarianism, trolling and classroom bullying combine in Jennifer Adam?s topical play. Evan prefers his online community to his school peers, but anti-Catholic comments, born out of bigotry or ignorance, threaten his and his parents?futures. Euan Brockie excels as Evan: fierce, clenched and clearly trying hard to prevent his latent anger and frustration from boiling over.' [ThreeWeeks Edinburgh Review] 'Teenager Evan has to face the consequences of his ignorance after his arrest for online sectarian abuse. Jen Adam?s impressive script details the reasons behind his outburst and the effect it has on his family.

The set-up of the space at St John?s means the audience cannot help feeling they are in sitting in judgement over the characters, whose stories unfold through a series of monologues with little in the way of interaction. This works much better than it might do, thanks to taut writing and impressive performances.

The play also carefully shies away from the expected. The title might suggest those ?keyboard warriors?who lurk in the comments sections of internet news sites ? while this is alluded to, it is primarily a reference to the online game where misfit Evan finds refuge until threats to his status lead to his ill-considered outburst.

Sectarian language is also so closely associated in people?s minds with football, particularly West of Scotland football, that it is an astute move to set the story in Perth and make it very clear that Evan has no interest in sport.' [All Edinburgh Theatre Review]

Kiss, Cuddle, Torture by Jennifer Adam In a town known for its social and religious issues, three women battling their own demons at home, face the possibility of being expelled from their only refuge ? the cold and crumbling school building where they work. Bonding over relationships, children and the importance of wearing marigolds, Lynn, Sue and Lucy are pushed to breaking point, forcing them into a life on the edge of escape.

'On the surface, Black Dingo Productions?Kiss, Cuddle, Torture is a bleak drama about domestic violence.

But a large amount of this play?s message lies beneath the skin ? or more crudely, the bruises. The strength of the writing in Jennifer Adam?s first full-length play is that it doesn?t seek to provide easy answers.

Originally staged during the fringe in the intimate setting of a side chapel of St John?s Church, Princes St, as part of the Just Festival, the production has been imported into the Previously? history festival, along with Creepie Stool and Singin?I?m no a Billy he?s a Tim. The plays collectively explore, in different ways, issues of sectarianism. It may be easier to spot this in the first two pieces, but the issue is subtlely understated in Kiss, Cuddle, Torture.' [All Theatre Edinburgh Review] 'This stunning script by Jennifer Adam steps away from the comedy majority of the Fringe and digs deeper into the harsh and real issues within relationships. As two cleaners and an assistant bond over their refuge of the workplace, they support one another through the storm; this was a performance which haunted me long after leaving the venue, with its sensitive portrayal exposing a subject many scriptwriters would shy away from. The characters are brought to life wonderfully by the two actresses, which leaves the audience forgetting it is just a play as they become deeply involved, watching through involuntary tears. A hauntingly beautiful and deeply moving performance, not to be missed.' [Three Weeks Review]

Kiss, Cuddle, Torture | The Onion of Bigotry | Warrior

Kiss, Cuddle, Torture by Jennifer Adam - selected scenes Characters: Lynn - 30s, a school cleaner Sue - late 40s/early50s though appears older, works with Lynn Lucy - early 20s, teaching temp Jim - Sue?s husband A school staff room. An image of St. Monica and the words ?Veritas, Unitas, Caritas?are on the back wall. The outer walls of the playground can be seen offstage and are marked with sectarian graffiti in spray paint. The laughter and screams of children playing can be heard. There are sporadic tables and chairs, dirty mugs lying around, papers, dustbins and a notice board on the wall.

Scene 2 - ?The Safe Haven?

Sue arrives first, carrying her jacket. She has a noticeable limp that she tries to hide when she?s not on her own. The kettle has just boiled. Sue moves the teachers?mess on the worktops to a different spot so she can put her own mugs down and make tea for herself, Lynn and Lucy. Lynn enters a few moments later, clearly frozen.

Lynn It?s bloody Baltic out there. No sugar for me, Sue I?m on a diet.

Sue

Where in God?s name did ye walk fae?!

Lynn Joe dropped me off, but with all these one ways he had to stop three streets back.

Sue

Is the Golf in the shop?

Lynn

? we got rid of my car at the weekend. Waste of

Sue

Is that right?

money.

Kiss, Cuddle, Torture by Jennifer Adam - selected scenes Lynn

The price of petrol is a joke these days?

pause

Sue

Is it? ?

Lynn

? I filled it in by the way.

Sue

The application?

Lynn

(nods) I?m going to ask Joe to look over it tonight.

Sue

That?s great!

Lynn

(smiles) Was there milk?

Sue

Ocht. I?ve left it. (walks back to the worktop to get it)

Lynn Joe says it is, aye. (pause) Listen, sorry I couldn?t meet you yesterday. Next Sunday, I promise.

Sue

If Joe doesnae mind dropping ye off.

Lynn follows Sue to the table and they sit to drink their tea Sue

I came in early the day.

Lynn

Again?

Sue I found the high heid yin in the gym hall asking the Janny to sweep up plaster.

Lynn

Plaster from where?

Sue

The only place it could?ve come fae is the ceiling.

Lynn

Christ. Was the Janny hurt?

Lynn I just hope we can cope with all the extra hours!? Are you limping?

Sue

It?s my age.

Lynn

Your age??

Sue Aye, and nane o?yer cheek, you?re no so far away fae it.

Mark my words.

Sue (shakes her head) He?s the only reason this place is still standing.

Lynn stick!

I?d like to think I?m a wee while yet from needing a

Lynn

You hanging back tonight then?

Sue

D?ye see a stick?? They just go weak sometimes.

Sue

I said I?d go ower it with a brush afore I left.

Lucy enters in a smart dress but also wearing trainers and a tabard.

Lynn Careful, you might end up getting pulled from the rubble after all.

Lucy

Where?s the trolly?

Sue Aye ? D?ye ken that swine had the cheek to offer me redundancy again this morning! (mimicking the rector) ?Think of aw they extra pennies Mrs Grimmond, away and buy yersel somethin bonnie??I?m bonnie enough! And you?ll be scattering me across the foundations thank you very much.

Sue hen.

(without looking at Lucy) Cupboard in the corridor,

Lynn

Cuppa tea?

Lucy

Not the now.

Lynn

You said that to him??

Lucy exits

Sue

Bloody right. Naebody?s pushing me aboot. No in here.

Lynn

What?s with her?

Kiss, Cuddle, Torture by Jennifer Adam - selected scenes Sue

(still offended) Maybe it?s her age?

Sue walks away from Lynn. Lucy re-enters with gloves, spray and dusters, hands them out.

Lucy

Is it warm?

Sue

I doubt it, hen. Heating gets pulled at 3.

Lynn

You Feverish?

Lucy runs to a chair, tablets from her pocket on the way Lucy

I don?t feel well.

Lynn You?ve dropped your ? Amitriptyline? (Lucy snatches it back) aren?t those anti-depressants?

Sue Course its safe. They keep them in the reception to give to kids trying tae skive gym.

Lynn Is there any part of this school you haven?t nosied through?

Lucy

I used to skive gym all the time.

Sue

Aye, so ye?ll have had thoosands of these.

Lucy

Feign sickness when they made you do social dance.

Lynn

The Gay Gordons! Remember??

Lucy Gordon might have been gay but they still wouldn?t let you dance with other girls.

Sue Ye could dance with two lassies in the Dashing White Sargent.

Sue

Yer a bairn! What have ye got to be depressed aboot?

Lucy

They?re also for pains?

Lynn

It?s quite a high dosage?

Lucy

I get sore? Its prescribed, look!

Lucy Forced into the arms of the smelliest teenage boy under the sun.

Lynn

Many do you take at once?

Lynn

There?s always a smelly kid.

Lucy

As many as I need?

Lucy

My class is full of them.

Sue

Forget them. Here.

Sue It?s cause their haunds have been doon their troosers aw day!

Sue hands her pills and water Lucy

What?s this?

Sue

Milk of magnesia. Sort ye right oot.

Lucy

Is it safe?

Lynn

Safety in numbers!

Lucy We used to dance like this? (demonstrates) Just holding on with your fingertips!

Sue

So you didnae catch ony germs!

Kiss, Cuddle, Torture by Jennifer Adam - selected scenes Lucy

An attempt to avoid sweaty palms on your skin!

Sue

Luck??

Sue

It?s an excuse for a grope!

Lucy

Like here??

Lynn

(to Lucy, offended) How? What did you want, like?

Lucy

I wanted to teach I suppose.

Lynn

That it?

Lucy

And get married.

Sue that?

Christ Almighty! What did yer poor faither think of

Lucy And the pervy teachers are worse, Mr Gallagher at the Academy always picks the same girl for demos.

Lynn

A pupil??

Lucy

5th year.

Sue Our wumen teachers were the same though, made ye stand chest to chest! If that?s no inviting a feel what is?!

Lucy

My wedding will be my last social dancing ever.

Makes me miss school a bit, you know.

Lucy born.

I didn?t know him. Mum said he died before I was

Lynn Sue

Miss?? Yer still bloody here!

Lynn

I?m sorry?

Lynn I wasn?t very good any anything ? except maybe day-dreaming. It was written in all my reports, like dreaming was a bad thing. I thought about travelling.

Lucy

Round the world?

Lynn Furthest I got was working in a hotel in Edinburgh. I was never very good with the planning part. Plans tend to go awry, don?t they? What?s the point of making any?

Sue So yer saying scrubbing the nursery loos wasnse yer chosen career?!

Lynn I don?t think I really knew what I wanted. At least not enough to try and get it. I suppose I?ve been lucky to fall into the things I have in life.

Lucy Imagine my surprise at 14 when he walked through the front door.

Lynn

She lied to you?

Lucy To protect me, apparently. Never occurred to her that I might actually want to know who he was.

Lynn

Did you speak? When he turned up?

Lucy

No. She threw him out. He never came back.

Lynn

How did you know it was your dad?

Lucy I felt it. The way they were together. I knew. And I have this vivid memory, when I was three or four, of being in a park. My mum was there, lying on a stripey blanket. And he

Kiss, Cuddle, Torture by Jennifer Adam - selected scenes was there too. Chasing me across the grass and throwing me into the air when he caught me. He?d spin me around and let me go, dizzily trying to escape. Then he?d come after me again.

I remember giggling so hard it hurt.

I asked mum if she remembered it, she said no. Said it never happened.

Lynn

The imagination of children.

Lucy But I remember though. And when I saw him that day at the flat, it was the same guy, I swear it. She never let me know him.

Sue

She?ll have had her reasons, yer mother.

Lucy (rubs the bump on her tummy)I?ll never keep her away from her dad.

Sue

Never say never.

Lucy

Never. Ever.

Lights blow suddenly Lucy

Jesus!

Sue It?s fine! It?s just the lights. Happens aw the time.

There?s a candle in the drawer, Lynn.

them? Get the big yin!

Lynn finds a large candle and puts on the table, Sue lights it with a lighter. They stand around it looking at the flame.

Sue

That?s mair like it.

Lucy

Bit spooky

Lynn

We can?t really work now, can we?

Sue

Naw?

They look at each other then sit at the table in unison, drinking warm tea.

Sue

Nobody brought their dominos no?

Lucy

Dominos??

Sue

Deck of cards?

Lynn

I?ll remember next time?

Lucy

Shouldn?t we go home?

Sue

Naw, hen. The Janny?ll sort it.

Lucy

But we could be here all -

Lynn

It?s quite nice actually? sitting by candlelight.

Lynn feels for the drawer in the dark and pulls out birthday cake candles

Sue That?s because you cannae see the broken furniture or the paint peelin?aff the wa?s.

Lynn

How many Sue?

Lynn

It?s calm? makes the room look like its glowing.

Sue

Birthday candles? Where exactly are ye gonnae stick

Sue

Huvnae seen it like this since they Academy boys

Kiss, Cuddle, Torture by Jennifer Adam - selected scenes tried to set the assembly hall alight.

Lucy

You?ll not get into trouble then? If it?s not tidied?

Sue

D?ye think they?ll be able to tell?

Lucy But with the inspectors coming? If it?s not clean they?ll take one look at it andSue Och Tae hell with the inspectors! It?s you their lookin at! Your bunch of bairns! If it aw came doon to the cleanliness of this place we?d be fine!

Lucy

? Are we not fine?

Lynn

We?re fine right this minute.

Pause

loud because somebody up there was angry with me. If I didn?t go to bed they?d come and get me.

Sue

Aye, I bet it worked though?

Lucy

I don?t think I left my room for a week!

Sue

I telt mine it was Jesus playing bowls.

Lucy

Bowls??

Sue Everybody needs a hobby. A wee refuge from the world.

Lynn

And his was bowling? ?!

Sue

Aye! Why no?!

Sue

We used to dae this with the bairns.

Lynn I can?t imagine him having much of a bowling arm post-crucifixion?

Lynn

After a power cut?

Sue

Miracles happen.

Sue Sometimes Jim would flip the switch on purpose.

We?d sit in the living room telling ghost stories. It was the only way you could get them tae sit still. All together like a family. We?d get the coal fire going to make toast. The pair of them would eventually faw asleep in their daddy?s airms and he?d cairry them tae bed.

Lights come back on

Lynn

Peace and quiet.

Sue

Worked like a treat.

Sue Well he?d have a better bowling arm than me, that?s for sure.

Lucy I would scream for my mum when the power went out. And I hated thunder and lightning. She?d tell me it was

Sue

There we are!

Lucy leans in and blows out the candle, she turns and gets back to cleaning. Sue groans loudly as she stands, finding it difficult to move

Lynn

Sore arm now?

Sue

It?s my nerves. (Lynn?s looks at her suspiciously)

Kiss, Cuddle, Torture by Jennifer Adam - selected scenes Lynn

Something?s not right with you. Tell me.

Sue

I?m jist tired.

Lynn

You look like you?re falling apart!

Sue (Shrugs it off ) Pass me they bin bags, will ye? I?ll take them ootside.

Lynn

Need a hand?

Sue

Naw hen.

She exits with bin bags Lucy

She looked worse last night.

Lynn

When did you see her?

Lucy

I had to visit the nurse.

Lynn

In hospital??

Lucy exits, Sue stops when she realises Lynn is staring at her, scanning her body and face. Sue glances at her shoulders Sue

Have I been shat on?

Lynn

No.

Sue

So what?s wi?the look??

Lynn arm?

Where did you get that burn? The one on your left

Sue

Ah told ye. Oven gloves dinnae reach that high.

Lynn

(still staring) And the limp?

Sue

Cos I?m auld as sin! What?s the matter wi?you today??

Lynn?s phone rings on the table in between them, she reads the name Lynn

(pause as she deliberates) Nothing. Joe?s phoning me.

Lucy (nods) She never saw me. I was leaving as they were coming in.

Sue

Better no?keep him waiting.

Lynn

Lynn (as she?s exiting) Next time you have to go to hospital.

Call me.

She didn?t say anything?

Lucy She had her man with her. And she?s here today so she must be fine.

Lynn

He was looking after her?

Lucy

He had his arms round her waist.

Sue returns Lynn

(to Lucy) Can you check if the Janny?s needing a hand?

Sue

Why? So Joe can take me in his car??

Lynn exits ?Sue?s Confession?

Lights fade as Sue looks around at the empty room, frustrated.

Sue (rolls her eyes) I know what you?re thinking. (touches her burn)

Kiss, Cuddle, Torture by Jennifer Adam - selected scenes It?s no as bad as it looks. Or sounds for that matter.

It didnae occur to me I?d need to escape.

He?s a good man, I wouldnae?ve married him otherwise.

My eyes were tight shut. My fingers were gripping the nylon covers, keeping everything still.

Made redundant, cannae get a job. Living aff the Government.

What kind of life is that?

The drink relaxes him. ? It also shoves him over the edge.

Just a wee touch at first. Then as time went on, he got mair frustrated.

Cared less. Hit harder.

Sometimes the polis come round on old firm days. Tell him no to get any ideas. Aye, thanks for reminding him! Like it?s got bugger all to do with fitbaw!

He?s loving. Deeply loving and truly regretful.

Every single time.

There was a long silence, ?til the car door opened.

Then it aw came, door slamming, windae smashing. His footsteps thumping, stumbling, crashing through the front door. I kept my eyes closed. Pulled the bed sheets in tight.

Thump efter thump. Slowly, up the stairs. Muffled on the carpet, but getting louder. Getting closer. Then they were in the room. He was in our room. And the footsteps stopped.

I opened my eyes to darkness, but only for a second. The light flicked on. I was too late to close them again. He came for me.

Bolted towards me. Threw the duvet across the room, ornaments smashing to the flair.

I didnae move then either.

Affection so powerful I cannae live withoot it.

I felt like a dead weight. He went for my arms. Lifted me oot of bed in one swoop. Swearing, screaming,?Ya useless fucking shite!!?And in one breath I was on the other side of the room.

Long pause

Lying on the flair.

And I know I?m in a rut, I can see that.

Shards of mirror over my body. Some were stuck in the creases of my skin. I felt glass inside my fingernails. On top of my eyelashes. It stung like Hell.

This is just life noo. Pain, followed by intense remorse.

That first mistake. I could?ve run.

Could?ve got out of bed and legged it the second I heard him pull into the drive way, knocking ower the wheelies at the gate.

He shouted. He shouted again. I heard the third time, he wanted me to get up. Get ma pathetic heap aff the flair. I did. I got up. I looked at him through the blood dripping fae ma

Kiss, Cuddle, Torture by Jennifer Adam - selected scenes foreheid.

He stood.

Just stood. Looking right into my eyes.

I waited for him to make his move. My breath jerked.

He picked up a near empty bottle fae the carpet.

Then he left.

The bedroom door, still open. I waited for him to come back.

Stuck to the spot.

catch the chemist before it closed. ? I?ve run out of moisturiser.

Sue

Ye missed tea break.

Lynn

I just wanted to get done and get off.

Sue

You?re no?avoiding us then?

Lynn

Don?t be silly?

Sue

I was hoping to chat to ye. Have ye time tae -

Lynn

Like I said, I?m rushing off.

Then the bathroom door slammed. A clatter. A tap. The shower curtain ripped fae its hold. A crash as he fell into the bath.

Sue Right. (pause as Lynn assembles her belongings) Deadline for that job?s the morn.

Then nothing.

Lynn

I know.

Then silence.

Sue

You get your application checked, aye?

I could breathe.

Lynn

? I changed my mind.

Lights Down

Sue

What?

Scene 3 - ?Lynn?s Fall/ Anterograde Amnesia/ School?s Closing?

Lynn

I?m happy here.

Lights up

Sue

But? I thought we?d decided-

The following day, early evening. Lighting is slightly darker. Lynn enters quickly, removes her tabard and searches in a cupboard for her things, we cannot see her face. Sue enters a few moments after her.

Lynn We don?t decide these things. Joe and I do. And I?m staying here.

Sue

Bunking off early?

Lynn

(doesn?t fully turn to look at her) I was hoping to

Sue

I just thought ye wanted-

Lynn I want things to go back to the way they were.

Something has shifted, and I?m not changing anything else until I can get back on track. It?s what?s best for Ella?

Kiss, Cuddle, Torture by Jennifer Adam - selected scenes Sue

I really think you should-

Lynn (frantically packs her things) Sue, I can?t talk about this with you now, I have to make the chemist.

Sue

Just listen to me!

Lynn

Don?t!!

Sue grabs Lynn, spins her round. Lynn resists but is forced to face Sue. Lynn has a black eye. Sue gazes helplessly at Lynn?s face.

Trying to speak but nothing comes out.

Sue

Sorry. My mother was a nurse you see.

Lynn

Was she gentle? ?

Sue

Did ye put ice on it?

Lynn

Joe got me some frozen peas.

Sue

It?s still awfy swollen?

Lynn

I must have landed awkwardly.

Sue

(hands on Lynn?s neck) Does this hurt?

Lynn

? It just a fall.

Lynn

Ahh! Yes!!!

Sue

Lynn?

Sue

You?ve maybe injured a tendon there.

Lynn

Really?

Sue

The Doc didnae mention that?

Lynn off.

I was? too sore to touch last night. It must be easing

Lynn I didn?t realise Ella was on the stairs. She jumped out and I got a fright.

Sue

(after a while) Is this why you?re going to the chemist.

Lynn (smiling it off ) I?ve seen a doctor, I?m not concussed and it looks far worse than it is.

Sue

I?m sorry?

Sue It?s right across the brow tae. (removes her hands) Did eh ? the Doc say anything aboot amnesia? ?

Lynn

Why?

Lynn

Amnesia??

Sue

I should?ve? been with ye. At the hospital?

Sue

Memory loss.

Lynn

No need. ? Can you tell Lucy cheerio?

Lynn

I know what amnesia is. I don?t think I hit it that hard.

Sue

(looks into her eyes) But you?re no sure?

Lynn

I?m pretty sure I didn?t.

Sue

Cos if you had amnesia, ye wouldnae ken. Ye

Sue I?ve hardly seen her, she?s been in her classroom aw efternoon. (goes to put her hands on Lynn?s face) Can I just?

Lynn

What are you? Ow!

Kiss, Cuddle, Torture by Jennifer Adam - selected scenes wouldnae remember how hard it was.

Lynn

For the last time I don?t have amnesia.

Lynn

It?s not amnesia!

Sue

Where on the stairs was Ella playing?

Sue

Who did ye see at the hospital?

Lynn

Um.. the top.

Sue

The very top stair?

Lynn

Two or three from the top?

Sue

What toy was she playing wi??

Lynn

I barely saw her, let alone the toy!

Sue no?

But if wasnae that bad, you?d have seen afterwards

Lynn

? A doll. She was carrying her doll.

Sue

Carrying it tae you?

Lynn

I don?t remember.

Lynn Wha- know them all by name do you? (Sue stares at her) I don?t remember she was blonde. (Sue goes back in for another feel, Lynn lets her) What??

Sue You should go back. I tripped over the cat once. Woke up at the bottom of the stairs.

Lynn

So you?ll know.

Sue

I know.

Lynn

That it looks worse.

Sue

? I know.

A moment where the two women regard each other before?

Sue Anterograde amnesia. Aye, that?s the one. It affects yer short term memory.

Lynn

(starts to leave) It?s almost six.

Sue

? When?s Ella?s birthday?

Lynn

What??

Sue

March is it no?

Sue Some folk struggle to shift information aroond in their heids, fae one place tae another.

Lynn

March 23rd yes.

Lynn

Sue

Happy memories. What about Joe?

Lynn

2nd of June.

Sue Their brain sits in there passing the buck, nothing gets dealt with and so its forgotten. Then ye cannae learn fae it. You?ll only trip and fall again. And again. And -

Sue

Well remembered.

Lynn

Lynn

There?s nothing wrong with my memory!

It was dark, I couldn?t see!

(snaps) She threw it!!

Kiss, Cuddle, Torture by Jennifer Adam - selected scenes She threw the doll down the stairs?

Sue

Well noo you can be at hame together.

It smashed on the floor. I came out to see what the noise was when she jumped out at me.

Lynn

We cant stay at home.

Sue

So apply for that job.

Lynn is?

You don?t understand? Can?t you see how insulting it

Sue

Wanting a new job??

I got such a fright?

Sue

Ye landed on the doll.

Lynn I suppose I did. I ? I?ll buy a new one. She can bring it to school when she starts.

Pause, before Lynn checks her watch

Lynn Wanting more money. Like he can?t provide for us?!

He doesn?t need me to work!

Lynn

I really have to leave.

Sue

Sue

I can come with you

Lynn

No please, just leave me. Stay in here.

Lynn I want us to work! I want my family to work, like it used to! I?ve made up my mind, Sue! I told him I?d stay here at this school with Ella.

Lynn heads for the door, but before she can reach it?

Sue

The doors are closing Lynn!

(Lynn stops, doesn?t look round) There?s no going to be a school here for her tae go tae! I saw a letter fae the council on the rector?s desk.

Lynn But the inspectors haven?t been yet?! (Sue turns away) They?re not due til Monday!

Sue (faces Lynn) Did ye no?wonder why were the only mugs here? Look around. Crumbling building, low intake, shite reputation. Would you even want to send Ella into this?

Lynn I?d look out for her. I?d come early and see her and stay to clean. We?d be here together.

But you want to work!

Sue

Well ye cannae! So what are your other options?!

Lynn jobs?

Parents will appeal the closure, the teachers need

Sue What parents? D?ye think Dylan?s mum?s gonnae complain? And the teachers will?ve been oot hunting for the past 6 months, soon as there was a whiff of an inspector visit!

Lynn So we just give in do we?? (Sue shrugs, sits on the coffee table) What do we do??

Sue I don?t know! Christ! Why am I expected to hae aw the answers?!

Lynn

(sits on the table next to her) I can?t go home?

Kiss, Cuddle, Torture by Jennifer Adam - selected scenes Sue

I know.

Jim

Lynn

But I can?t break the routine.

Sue (nervous but not afraid) You?re as well headin?home I?m no done yet.

Pause Sue We can always chain ourselves to the sinks. (Lynn lets out a smile) Worked for the Suffragettes.

Jim

There?s nae signs up saying so.

I?m needin?a lift.

Jim picks up a bottle of cleaning stuff to smell, puts it back

Lynn

? Can I bring Ella?

Sue

Put that down! Dinnae touch things!

Sue

Aye, why no.

Jim

Gonnae run me tae The Thistle, hen?

Pause. Lynn looks at her watch and gets up to leave.

Sue

Jim? !

Lynn

Jim

Gonnae Hen?

Is there such a thing as good change?

Sue We?re aboot to find oot. (calling after her) Mind and move Ella?s toys fae the top of the stairs.

Sue Run yerself (puts car keys from her pockets on the worktop) Here. Go on.

Lynn pauses briefly, then exits without looking back at Sue.

Jim

? Yer no comin?wi me?

Sue picks herself up. Wanders around the room. Runs her fingers along the worktops. Jim appears from a dark corner of the room.

Sue doesn?t see him enter. He moves closer to her

Sue

I?m no done yet, I telt ye.

Jim

Ye said ye would.

Sue

I changed ma mind.

Jim

Ye cannae.

Sue

I can! Ah?m no finished, Jim. Are ye no listening?!

Jim

(sudden temper) I can hear ye!!

Jim

So this is it?

Sue

(jumps) Christ!

Jim

This is where you hide aw night, aye?

Sue

You shouldnae be in here!

Jim

How?

Sue

This is my work! Staff and pupils only!

Pause Sue

How much have you had?

Jim

No enough. ?Mon. Now.

Kiss, Cuddle, Torture by Jennifer Adam - selected scenes Sue

Jim-

Jim (picks up keys from the worktop) Suit yersel! Ye?ll be walkin hame.

Sue

? I like a walk.

Jim I?m lockin the door. If yer no in afore me, ye can walk aw fuckin night!

Sue

(weak) Aye.. Right, C?mon? Off wi?ye!

He exits. Sue takes a moment to gather herself, takes deep breaths. She replaces the items he?d touched and looks around the room to check it?s as it was before he stepped in. After a few moments she runs to door.

Sue

Jim! Wait! Jim?!

As she throws off her tabard and gathers her belongings, Lucy enters, carrying a piece of paper. She has been sobbing.

Lucy

Sue?

Sue I know, I?ll get the rest in the morning ok? I?ll come in special.

Lucy

I?m away.

Lucy passes Sue a piece of paper Sue

What?s this?

Lucy

Copy of my notice.

Sue Your What? (catches sight of her face) Jesus! What?s the matter?

Lucy I?m sorry to land you in it? with the inspectors and everything?

Sue

Are ye ill? Is it the baby?

Pause Lucy

I?m not pregnant anymore.

Sue

? Did you? ?

Lucy

It just? melted I suppose?

Sue moves towards Lucy in sudden flood of sympathy and relief But I?ll work my notice, I?ll be back to help you both Sue honest?

Sue

Wheesht! You should be in yer bed!

Lucy

I?m heading that way.

Sue

What can I do?

Lucy

We?ll try again, Sue. As soon as I can.

Sue

Shhh? Give it time? you need to heal?

Lucy

Then we?ll get married?

Sue

What?s your telephone number, I?ll call your mum.

Lucy Sue.

She?s nearly here. Just wanted to give you my letter

Sue I?m going to check the car park ok? Give me just two ticks. Sue exits

Kiss, Cuddle, Torture by Jennifer Adam - selected scenes ?Lucy?s Release?

Lucy said.

(to herself ) We?re going to get married. That?s what he

We started to recognise the symptoms. So he?d bring it with us. (she pulls out a letter)

?Soon as we have a family, we?ll get married??

Four discharge letters I?ve got now.

We can keep trying, I told him. But he?d already packed.

He kept knocking me up? and I kept letting them go.

He?d packed his things before they even let me out of hospital.

Pause

I?m useless now. Broken. Ill equipped for life.

The nurses know me on a first name basis. I must be some kinda record.

One of them made a comment after he left.

About bruising. Was I aware there was bruising.

Every time I got home. Every time I woke up. Every time I went to bed, had a shower, got dressed, got undressed. Every chance he got. It?s what couples do, isn?t it? The norm.

What d?ye mean you don?t want to have sex with your boyfriend? What?s the matter with ye?

Well I didn?t always want it. But I took it. We were making a family.

Once he bought me this awful woolly nightie. Blue with wee pink bows.

It was a joke, to cheer me up. So I?d fit in with all the old grannies in hospital.

If you take your fingers. Place them here, at the exact point where your ribs part. Push in and upwards. (she groans) That?s the feeling. That?s heartache. It?s not in your chest, it?s in your gut. Your very core. That?s what?s bruised. It gets into every vein, every organ.

My lungs collapse every time I remember he?s gone.

Ache doesn?t begin to describe it. Like it?s a fucking sore head?

This ache would need an entire case of paracetemol to shift.

And a litre of Vodka to wash it down.

I?m so sorry? I couldn?t give you what you wanted.

Lucy exits without her tabard.

Lights down.

-THE END -

The Onion of Bigotry: A History of Hatred by The Kielty Brothers - selected songs and scenes The Onion There is no text so plain it can't be mistranslated It's the onion It's the onion No fact so crystal clear it can't be coloured It's the onion It's the onion No eye that won't turn blind but can't be persuaded It's the onion It's the onion If the eye gets stung by the onion inside of your head It whispers so quietly so you'll forget it It is sweet but not sweet like a pear It turns mine against yours, it turns yours against mine so beware beware Beware the onion of bigotry, it is bigger than you, it is bigger than me Come trace it through history, root out it rotten core Beware the onion of bigotry, it is bigger than you, it is bigger than me Come trace it through history, root out it rotten core

The Onion of Bigotry: A History of Hatred by The Kielty Brothers - selected songs and scenes Reformation In the beginning nothing happened Nothing, nothing at all

The type of daughter who stayed out late drinking with her friends wearing whatever she wanted and only phoning when she needed a lift home

Then Mel Gibson and Robert the Bruce saved us

So, when Edward the first tried to conquer Scotland in the wars of independence the Pope took Edward?s side

From something

England England

Then nothing happen again

England England were no relation to you

Then we invented whiskey and there was fighting

Keep you three lions, we paint our faces blue

Though are recollection of events is somewhat hazy

You might have much better force and great big armoured horses

Then in Germany somebody nailed something to something somewhere

But we got tricks and pointy sticks and a bottle of Irn-Bru

Anyway there was much more fighting

Scotland our land there?s nothing here for you

Reformation (Ahhhh ha ha)

Stay here too long and you'll become Scottish too

Across the nation (Ahhhh ha ha)

If you Norman or French or English

Protestation (Ahhhh ha ha)

Irish, Dutch or Danish,

Excommunication

stay if you like but grab a big spike and a bottle of Irn-Bru

spoken Prior to the reformation much of what we know of Scottish history is little more than a list of kings who was king and which dear relative murdered them.

Throughout all of this Scotland had one church which enjoyed communion with Rome But if we are completely honest, Scotland has always enjoyed being a bit of a pain in the arse and has often been one to Rome Rome called us her special daughter

The Onion of Bigotry: A History of Hatred by The Kielty Brothers - selected songs and scenes Kings

He marched into England cause France sent a flower

spoken

But he fought really badly and everybody died

You might argue that the predominantly Catholic Stewarts were cursed from the start

Then James 5 at least he was alive

Robert II was old and senile

but a prisoner till he was 15 and at Solway moss he suffered a loss

Robert III asked to be buried in a dung hill with the epitaph the worst of kings and the most miserable of men

but left a little daughter who would one day become a queen

So, they buried him in paisley

Are we keen on the queen?

Under the James Scotland would perfect defiant abstinence

That remains to be seen

The kings would proclaim all along that theirs was the Devine right to rule

The live of the Stewarts were both short and eventful

while it seems God had rather different ideas

So, if you are a king in a country called Scotland,

The death of the Stewarts were both strange and confusing

don't get called James

The first one in Perth, he got stabbed 16 times

Cause the bloody name?s cursed

James, his sons, James?s death was more amusing

All of Europe is Catholic

Shot in the face with a canon he fired

All of the young and old

His son James tried to put out of the flames

Everyone has been baptised,

of Scots rebellion in his lands

that?s when gods told what you are called

But his policies were hated and he got assassinated

And if you live in Europe,

by a priest or a horse or a murderous band

then Catholic what you will be

spoken

Unless you?re near Istanbul Constantinople

Why their names were all James, I just don't understand

where they prefer orthodoxy

James number four wasn't much like his father

Yes, they swim in an Orthodox sea

No, he was more of a hero inside

Some pretty bad and the rest even worse

The Onion of Bigotry: A History of Hatred by The Kielty Brothers - selected songs and scenes Luther

These are the words to use

95 theses on Catholic reform

These are the psalms to choose

Problem that mattered to most

This is how you should pray

Issues that had been going on for too long

Pray this way every day

So, Luther decided to post

Other ways of praying are wrong

The discussion he sought all came to nought

You feel his wrath if stray from the path

and that onion it started a rolling

that we outline to you in this song

Momentum it built and much blood would be spilt

The word of the Pope is infallible - Infallible!

but let history serve as a warning

The word of the Pope is indefatigable - Indefatigable!

Reformation (Ahhhh ha ha)

The Pope is incorruptible - Incorruptible!

Across the nation (Ahhhh ha ha)

The Pope is indestructible

Protestation (Ahhhh ha ha)

Um pretty sure that is Captain Scarlet

Excommunication

Oh yes, of course, it is I am always getting them mixed up

spoken

This is how he likes said in Latin

Luther could not have predicted the response regular people rallied in their thousands to his cause while the powerful German princes seized this opportunity to attack their rivals the bishops. By the time the word of the issue reached the ears of the Pope the time for talking was past, battle lines were drawn. Conflict inevitable, the church could not be seen to back down and so they condemned Luther?s writings confirming in his mind his worst fears of the Catholic Church.

This is how he likes you clad. in satin

This is how you worship God

I think I disagree with your philosophy

These are the songs he likes

I think change is for the best

These are the sweets he likes

Change!

He likes when you are overawed

Listen and you may receive salvation But if you do not believe - damnation, if you been bad there is no need to be sad just indulge us and we'll do the rest

The Onion of Bigotry: A History of Hatred by The Kielty Brothers - selected songs and scenes Luther - continued Reformation (Ahhhh ha ha) Across the nation (Ahhhh ha ha) Protestation (Ahhhh ha ha) Excommunication Caused by constipation All join in with the protestant song The protestant song is not too long If you think the Roman Church is wrong, then join in with the protestant song spoken Hey! What?s that you doing?

I am protesting It looks like fun can I join in?

Well, that depends, what do you think of the Church?

Well, I do have a few issues Well, then you can - the more, the merrier All join in with the protestant song The protestant song is not too long If you don't like the papal superstition, then join in with the protestant song spoken Mary of Guise tried to keep peace between the established

Catholics and these new Protestant nobles but she sent her daughter Mary to France to marry the Dauphin What? Her mother was a goose and she married a dolphin?

You?re not listening, Bob Knox spoken Knox, Knox Who?s there?

Bob I don't get it The regent has sent her daughter to France Catholic France?

Ay, she to marry a dolphin A dolphin that?s alright as long as it is a good Protestant dolphin I will not bow to no papist aquatic mammal now let?s get out there and knock down some statues and break some stained glass All join in with the Protestant song The Protestant song is not too long Tear all the abbeys and the monasteries down then join in with the Protestant song The Protestant song, the Protestant song The sound track of the reformation x 2

The Onion of Bigotry: A History of Hatred by The Kielty Brothers - selected songs and scenes Knox - continued

Don?t sing or dance or celebrate,

spoken

come to the church and don't be late

Mary of Guise appealed to the French for their support and a French army was sent

Stop that x 2

The first time French troops had ever turned up in Scotland when requested but the Protestant noble appealed to Elizabeth I of England for her support and she provided Knox with the army he needed to seize control. Scotland belonged to the Calvinists

drop that top hat Our role is supervisory to insure you conformity to stand up for morality and exorcise you vanity

All join in with the Protestant song

Stop that x 4

The Calvinist version of the Protestant song

We are Presbyterian we hope you are not having fun

Now they?re in charge and the French are gone

Don?t sing we chant in monotone and on the Sabbath ? walk, don't run

All join in with the Protestant, Protestant, Protestant, Protestant song

Stop that

We are superintendents with power over all residents

spoken

We scrutinise the evidence of parish disobedience

1638 dismay misfortune it came Scotland?s way, for Charles Stewart first and worse imposed his papist ways to prey

Stop that x 4 We are Presbyterian, we hope you are not having fun Don?t sing, we chant in monotone and on the Sabbath - walk, don't run

Heretical and most unfair this loathed Book of Common Prayer was thrust most cruel in our face here and well as other places So, the holy covenant was signed by thousand and in blood;

Stop that x 4

we pledged to lay our lives in sacrifice to Kirk and Covenant

We do not like episcopacy or tolerate the papistry Well, burn the Pope in effigy to celebrate our presbytery

The Covenanters rose to arms invading north of England, this civil war just led to more a war between three kingdoms

Stop that x 4

Take that Scotland

dancing break

Have at you Ireland

We punish an humiliate sit on the stool you apostate

Bugger off Wales, we said kingdoms not principalities

The Onion of Bigotry: A History of Hatred by The Kielty Brothers - selected songs and scenes Knox - continued Charles he surrendered to the Covenant Scots but would not sign the covenant and this annoyed them lots So, they gave the king to England and they took some cash instead but the English to their horror cut of King Charles?s head

And as the head of Church and State the English wanted much theatre wines and happy times under old England church But Charlie had his own ideas and know just what he wanted the recognition that he was the king by God appointed Oh we?re gonna get what we deserve

You can?t do that, stop it, that is the King

Justice it is going to be served

The Covenanters rose in Scotland and in Ireland too but Cromwell?s standing army crushed them underneath his shoe

And were all agreed we'll sing

Oh Cromwell, what big shoes you have. Where do you buy such big shoes from?

that we should be loyal to our

Eleven years of Commonwealth of Cromwell?s rule by force

covenanted, even handed, church anointed God appointed king

Toleration, moderation and all the theatres closed The people of the commonwealth were secretly divided

It?s a good and rightful thing

Right stop spinning and listen up here are the rules!

When Cromwell died the nation sighed

None can be elected to office without first they confirm to the established Protestant faith

and home Charles was invited

Hurray! - Yess! - Feck!

Oh come back to this dreary land and give us back our king,

and by that I mean the Episcopal church

forget the past and then at last get drunk and dance and sing again

Hurrah! - Shite! - Feck!

Well, if I must I must alright look who back - It's Charlie II the revenge Now Charles had sworn the covenant in Scotland, plans were planned But Charles will spread the presbytery throughout these British land and Charles was known as tolerant and in Ireland they did hope his toleration would extend to we who back the Pope

All must take oath of allegiance and supremacy and denounce the covenant Tally ho! - Aww shite! - Feck!

The Book of Common Prayer is compulsory, Episcopal ordination for all ministers Pip pip! - Shite! - Feck!

All non-conformist religious assembles are outlawed and er just one more thing my brother James is heir apparent

The Onion of Bigotry: A History of Hatred by The Kielty Brothers - selected songs and scenes Knox - continued

has married James?s daughter and he is quite close at hand

if I die without issue (oh bless you) Oh, thank you then he will be the King and did I mention he is a Catholic?

The crown was offered to him and obligingly he invaded James he fled the Parliament said that meant he abdicated

Grand

Now the rewriting of history by now was well rehearsed and act of tolerance for Catholics were quickly reversed

25 years later and our hope had been defeated the fights we fought these last decades our doomed to be repeated The covenanter driven out of Kirk and out of sight and then increased resistance they became resolved to fight And Scotland would be coloured red throughout these time of killing of bloody men, of bloody covenant and bloody king, just bloody die all of you Succeeded by his brother James whose popish way caused fear but he was old and Protestant were all his nearest heirs

And parliament declared supreme and pardon its collusion in a Dutch invasion In a glorious revolution the Crown was passed along the line to Sophie of Hanover and when her son ascended the Stewarts reign was over After centuries of royal Stewarts alliance and rebellion reformation union revolution restoration of plots and prayer of kings and heir the bloody night was over and we woke up in the morning with a bloody big hangover

I increased laws of tolerance and reduced the penal one

There is a King

We figured things could just work out but then he had a son and he's a big beautiful baby Catholic

In 1822 George the fourth visited Edinburgh the first reigning monarch to do so in over 70 years. Sir Walter Scott would organise all celebrations of all things Scottish

Arse biscuits Oh, we got to do something and fast We need an alternative that lasts Glorious revolution bring It?s a good and rightful thing that we should be loyal to our nearest to legimate but not a Catholic Dutch invading queen and also king Hey, what is all the singing about?

Don't worry about your majesty, just tickle the ivories and don't worry about it William Prince of Orange has an army to command now he

He went to Edinburgh and said: People of Edinburgh, I have exciting news the King is coming to Scotland And Edinburgh said: There?s a king?

But Walter Scott said: Yes, there?s a king I know he hasn't visited much, he?s coming up for a big royal Scottish party. Can you greet him on the street please?

But Edinburgh said: But Edinburgh is covered in faeces, we are far too poor and ill to greet that idiot Walter Scott said: that rich idiot?

Edinburgh said: Go on So, he did

The Onion of Bigotry: A History of Hatred by The Kielty Brothers - selected songs and scenes There is a King - continued

And he said: There?s a king, there?s a king

Edinburgh, listen to me I bring an opportunity to reclaim our long lost majesty and banish mediocrity

There?s a king and rules over everything, so won't you all come and dance a Highland fling for the king, for the king!

Gather all the reds and blues

What, a highland fling? they said

Whig and Tories pay your dues

Highland culture is all dead, Cumberland cut of its head when he painted all the Highlands red

Highlanders and Lowlanders too, it?s time we stop picking on you There?s a king, there?s a king

Put the past out of your thoughts and banish long lost battle fought. George the Fourth he loves the Scots, he read my books he likes them lots.

There?s a king and rules over everything and there?s no end to the riches he will bring

But Walter Scott had a request: Could you all please wear that stuff you used to wear?

There?s a king, there?s a king

And the Highlanders said: What, rags?

And Edinburgh said: We're in!

But Walter Scott wanted them to wear skirts, stripy skirts, skirts he read about in books in book he had written

But Scott knew he would need the entire nation so next we went to Glasgow and he said: Glaswegians, exciting news the king is coming to Scotland And Glasgow said: There?s a king?

Yes, there?s a king, he is coming to Edinburgh for a big Scottish party . Can you all come to Edinburgh and dance around like idiots?

But Edinburgh is covered in faeces, Glasgow is much bigger, much richer plus Glasgow smiles better Well, the buses are too expensive, the traffic - dreadful and the one way system is atrocious

So, he returned to the weavers of Edinburgh and said: Brother weaver hear beware gather all you personnel, get all the materials you can't sell the red pink blue and greens as well, weave them into zag and zigs skirts that twirl when dancing jigs, big costumes that clash with wigs, just make it up and make it big He took his stripy skirts back to the people of the Highlands and said: Your ancient clan costume restored!

And the people of the Highland said: We're not wearing them!

He?s coming to Edinburgh and that is that

But Walter Scott said: They are free

Next he turned to the people of the Highlands and said: Brothers and sisters our grand chief in the south the king is coming to visit

So, they put on their stripy skirts and danced a wee dance

The Highlanders said: There?s a king?

Overjoyed Scott returned to Edinburgh and he cried: People of Edinburgh I am sure you will be excited to hear - The Highlanders are on their way

The Onion of Bigotry: A History of Hatred by The Kielty Brothers - selected songs and scenes There is a King - continued

Yes, we can serve in office, own land or even vote,

And Edinburgh said: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

get a Catholic education,

Because every time the Highlanders turned up in Edinburgh,

join the army by a boat

Edinburgh ended up on fire

Things are looking up now lads

But Walter Scott assured them it;s gonna be different this time,

A new dawn has been sighted

They?re gonna be wearing their ancient clan costume, you can wear them too And Edinburgh said: We?re not wearing them But Walter Scott said: They're free

There?s just one tiny problem - the potato's looking blighted In your expert Irish opinion - Does that strike you as being slightly blighty?

I think this might be slightly blighty You think it might be slightly blighty?

So Edinburgh put on the same stripy skirts as the Highlanders and dance the dame wee dance

That?s not slightly blighty, that is mighty blighty

There?s a king, there?s a king

It is pretty mighty blightly rightly

There?s a king and rules over everything

Shite! What are we going to do?

So, won't you all come and dance a highland fling

I know over here by the piano just let me finish this riff

for the king, for the king!

The Scots they are our brothers, we both sings Celtic songs

And for the first time a king looked over a unified Scottish nation, the Highlanders looked at the Lowlanders and said: You know what? They?re not that bad. The Lowlanders looked at the Highlanders and said: You know what? They?re not that bad. And with a fresh new identity Scotland was reborn and there were no Catholics

Let?s all go to Glasgow what could possibly go wrong

Meanwhile in Ireland

There?s a very simple answer to this complicated question

things are looking up now lads

I need you all to listen now and follow my suggestion

It seems the wind has shifted

Instead of getting angry about something long ago

as one by one those penal laws are starting to be lifted

Take a leaf from Jesus, turn the other cheek and let it go

Let?s all go to Glasgow, we'll be amongst our kin The reformation si over now I am sure we will fit right in Get over it

The Onion of Bigotry: A History of Hatred by The Kielty Brothers - selected songs and scenes There is a King - continued

then we are talking to you

Who cares who killed who in 1602?

It?s time to get over it

It?s time to get over it

Get over it x 4

Get over it x 4

If you?re green or blue,

But Gerry they stole my coo

then we are talking to you

Nananananan no

It?s time to get over it

Time to get over it The reformation?s over and it looks like no one won If you want to learn from history, there?s something to be done Forget about our difference deep down we are the same It takes two to have a fight and both are to blame If you?re green or blue then we are talking to you It?s time to get over it Get over it x 4 If you?re green or blue, then we are talking to you It?s time to get over it Catholic Orthodox or Methodist Lutheran Presbyterian or Baptists or Episcopalian We all follow Jesus and he told you what to do, treat everyone else the way you want them to treat you Get over it x 4 If you?re green or blue,

- THE END -

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script Characters Evan - Teenager, still at school Liz - Evans?mum, Early-mid forties, David - Evan?s dad, Early-mid forties, an actor, vaguely well known Teacher - Played by same actor that plays David Boss - Played by the same actor that plays Liz Evan should be the only character who does not change roles.

Warrior All actors should be on the stage at all times. They are poised and frozen when they are not speaking. They resemble characters from a computer game ready to be chosen by the gamer. As well as highlighting a lack of anonymity that each monologist may assume they have in their scene, their constant presence will emphasise figures of authority looming behind Evan. In turn, Evan?s presence lurking in the shadows during other monologues highlights his seeming bigotry.

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script Scene 1 - ?Blind Ignorance?

You can?t be born a Catholic.

Early Afternoon, Perthshire. The day of Evan Allen?s arrest.

You have been taught that this is what?s right.

This is what is acceptable.

Evan: My problem is this.

Ignorance. Complete blind ignorance.

You might be from the depths of Glasgow. You might have been brought up on this shit.

Steeped in stories of conflict and dressed up in the right colour.

But I certainly wasn?t.

It?s who ye are. It?s your parents, your children, your town, your job, your life.

It?s in your soul.

It?s not in my soul.

I went to church with my school every Easter and Christmas, We sang hymns at school assembly. Doesn?t mean I had religion rooted into my upbringing.

This is how you eat. This is how you drink. How you live, worship, this is how you love.

And this is how you hate.

Pause Can you remember sixteen?

That talk they give you at school. ?You might eh? notice some? changes lads??

Twelve spotty adolescents stare back at the school doctor.

And me. The only kid with a visible moustache.

My dad taught me how to shave before I was a teenager. ?It?s ?cause you?re so manly son? you take after your old man??

Personally, I couldn?t give two fucks one way or the other.

Someone?s got to be first.

Which is why it so fucking ironic.

Apparently aftershave clears your skin, it?s something to do with all the alcohol in it. Kills off the bacteria.

I bet you were a Catholic before you even entered this world.

A wee twinkle in your daddy?s eye.

I heard about guys that were slathering it on their faces long before they ever had to take a blade there.

We?ll I?ve got news for you.

I would come downstairs with more blotchy spots on my chin than when I started.

You can be born black. You can be born gay.

It?s harder than it looks

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script So I?m that kid that comes to school looking like he?s been snogging a cactus.

hovering over fresh bread and feeling all the fruit.

I?m the kid who loses their mobile a week into a new term.

Dart in and out, under arms, over trollies.

Nothing left by the time I get to it.

I?m the kid who week after week forgets to get his gym kit washed.

You?ve got to be bloody quick.

I?m the kid that always wears the wrong trainers.

I just wanted out.

The kid that wears a blue shirt when everyone else wears white.

I didn?t want to bump into anyone.

The kid in the blazer. The kid with that dad. The kid with the tache.

I?m the kid that fate decided needed to grow up just a wee bit faster than everybody else.

Scene 2 - ?Autopilot?

The Allen House, the following morning.

Liz enters in her jacket carrying shopping bags. She wears an oversized cardi over her clothes. She gestures to her carrier bags.

Times I?ve been in that shop for an hour and a half blethering.

Seems the whole town goes for their newspapers at the same time.

I suppose I just lifted it.

Like I always lift it. I?ve been scolded enough times for not lifting it.

Crunchy Nut Cornflakes.

Not the clusters and not the Tesco Value.

Kellogg?s ? Crunchy - Nut.

Liz: ? I suppose I?ll just shove them in the larder now.

I wasn?t really thinking. Autopilot mode.

It?s that bloody supermarket. Express my backside.

Teensy aisles. Clogged right up with folk

Not the berry flavour, not the chocolate kind and definitely not the granola, just the normal bloody Kellogg?s Crunchy bloody Nut. So that?s what I got.

Then I got his meat infested pizza. Salt and Vinegar hula hoops, His full fat Irn Bru. It?s a wonder he?s not sixteen stone for all the outdoor activity he gets.

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script (She pulls out a bag of monkey nuts)

Mimic your footsteps.

You can?t help but dance towards it.

I got these too

Then the sirens, the men on the megaphones,

Strange choice, I know.

SCREAM IF YOU WANNA GO FASTER!!

Did you know you could get them in summer? I didn?t.

The sound of pennies waterfalling to the floor, splashing onto metal trays as it landed.

He likes them. They remind him of the shows.

You know, dodgems, waltzers, candy floss.

Then, hypnotic lights

They have them at the South Inch all the time.

Flashing, pulsing

He still goes. Not with me right enough.

green and blue and pink and yellow

Likes to pretend he?s an adult.

beckoning you.

Literally pulling you in.

I took him when he was six.

Zipped him up in his wee puffer man coat,

He was off.

bubble wrapped from his neck to his wrists.

Followed his nose,

I tied up the laces on his black and White trainers,

he found the toffee apple stand within 5 minutes flat.

Double knotted and we were good to go.

Gives me that wide eyed, jaw fallen look.

David was on a job, working up north.

So It was just the two of us.

Then he?s off again,

Off on an adventure.

hauls me in another direction, through this grey smoke

You hear it before you see it.

bellowing in, puffing hollow clouds between us.

Pounding drums that echo your heartbeat,

He blinked as it stung, eager to see.

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script Then this 30 foot high rollercoaster

Watched him like a hawk as he scoffed its insides.

manifests in front of us,

I was never allowed nuts. My dad thought I?d choke on them, so just avoided the

rumbling, roaring, screeching across the tracks. with a face like a dragon.

whole ugly mess. Avoided any potential emergency.

Apples at Halloween were disinvited. Monkey nuts from now on, he said.

Children hunched on its body, barred in and holding tight.

He watched the creature arch its back and stretch his long scaly neck through the metal piping, His red fiery eyes peeking through the haze.

The children squealed as it hurled around the bends.

So I bought them.

The shows are in town the now.

Thought we can all go together.

As a family.

He was mesmerised.

He?ll huff and say he?d rather die than go to the shows with me.

Pause

Much happier sitting in his gaming chair, consoles wired into his skin.

But then he?ll see these.

I let him dook for apples. His teeth weren?t up to much.

Mum remembered.

Too wee. No grip whatsoever.

It was like watching someone try to pick up a cantaloupe with a hair clasp.

Pause

So I bought some monkey nuts.

You think you?re prepared for these things, you know.

Tossed a few in the water.

Choking on some nuts. I was watching.

He dove in forehead first.

Heimlich manoeuvre at the ready.

Looked back up at me with a soggy fringe.

Chickenpox, mumps, flu, swine flu, man flu.

I helped him crack it open.

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script I had a full blown chemist of potions hidden in the garage. Just waiting.

I was ready for him coming home drunk. Throwing up in the ensuite shower.

I expected heartbreak, bad grades, school suspension.

Who do they think they are?

Besides, he?s on it enough for both of us anyway, aren?t you darling?

No response

Maybe even expulsion?

Or drugs??

Smuggles in a lap top from his work So he can google himself.

But this? ?

A phonecall from the police.

See who?s talking about him.

A chap at the door.

I?ve learnt in recent years, from being married to an actor, that it?s always best to

Five minutes later they?re taking him away?

be talked badly off than not to be mentioned at all.

My little man in the puffer jacket?

At least people have heard of you.

Make a name for yourself.

They came back for his computer.

Ipads, mobiles, anything you could access the internet through.

She glances at her husband He says I shouldn?t go on the internet.

It?ll only upset me.

Fine. I?ve no interest in reading some idiot?s opinion on our life.

I?ve no time for these keyboard warriors.

I?m not sure I agree with that sentiment actually.

But that?s him. Blunt to the point of being rounded.

She leans back to her husband.

I?ll put the kettle on, shall I?

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script Scene 3 - ?The Rise and Fall of David Allen?

Developing a distinct persona.

The Allen Household, The day after Evan?s arrest, later in the afternoon. David is dressed in loose trousers and a t shirt.

My roots, my culture, my very nature is here.

David: David Allen. Forty-three years old. AKA?d as Billy Benson, Dr Matthew Rose, injured man number three and even Barry the Boiler to name but a few.

A move out of Scotland to learn lessons in identity made no sense to me.

And a few months ago I was recognised.

A Chief Inspector.

Authoritarian. Influential.

Most recently however, you?ll know me as James Fraser.

Chief Inspector James Fraser.

? This month however,

Some people like to fill your head about how hard it is to get a job as an actor in Scotland.

I?m Evan Allen?s Dad.

Particularly if you don?t live in Glasgow.

Get yourself to London, son, learn to be a proper actor.

And what if we all took that advice?

What kind of industry would Scotland have if we all ran off to London on a false promise of fame?

Parental harbourer of that cyber kid.

My agent suggested yoga.

He adopts The Warrior yoga pose, takes deep breaths She said it would help with my breathing.

A stamp of recognition from down south

Yes it?s involuntary for most of the population.

and suddenly every stage and studio door is opened up to you?

But almost all her clients undertake some form of yoga, particularly on the run up to a big audition.

Unfortunately not.

I?m not exactly superstitious,

Everybody wants to be recognised of course,

But if you?ve been successful, naturally whatever you have done that entire day becomes routine.

But acting is about channelling character.

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script It didn?t happen right away of course.

I took him to his first match.

Temp jobs a plenty.

You have to -

Good life experience, I got told.

Teaching your son the importance of supporting his home team is a rite of passage. A father?s entitlement.

Eleven years of it to be exact.

I relied on Liz. A lot.

Not content with pitch side seats at McDiarmid Park however, he spent the whole 90 minutes trying to work out what Bovril was.

On our first date, I took her down to the river for lunch al fresco. Sat her down on some stones by the Tay. I emptied my sports bag and pulled out a warm bottle of chardonnay, But no glasses.

I had some grated cheese sandwiches, but all the cheese had fallen out because I didn?t have any butter to glue it all together.

That and a packet of Rolos was the picnic in its entirety.

If I hadn?t stopped at the spar for chocolate ? I?d have had it.

Good luck son, I still don?t know.

So he insisted on trying some.

Then instantly spat it out over this bald guy in front of us. Evan was very nearly the youngest person in history to start a fight in a football stadium.

I wasn?t beaten.

If he?s not into the footie then maybe he?ll like the arts?

Luckily for me, she was easy pleased.

So I took him to the set, introduced him to the actors, told him a few storyline secrets.

She opened them upside down.

?These are the good guys? I?d say, pointing to a guy in police uniform.

Said she wanted my last one first.

?And see them over there? They?re the baddies. We don?t like them.?

Evan came along pretty quickly.

A son! (Fist pumps)

He wanted to try on all the costumes, touch all the props.

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script We would put on silly voices and become different people. A straw hat and an itchy blue scarf, to him meant a scarecrow had come alive on set and was terrorizing the residents.

The police paid a visit.

A string vest and suddenly an eight year old Rab C was in the room.

Got away with it at first, neighbours thought the car was a prop, fellow cast members approaching the front door.

His imagination was endless.

Dedicated David Allen taking his job home with him.

Then he got older.

They were a cracking likeness. I even panicked for a moment that I?d been replaced.

And frankly if it didn?t have something to do with technology, Evan didn?t want to know about it.

Here come the latest boys to give me the bad news.

I started to get more regular jobs, get a bit more cash flowing.

It was harder to explain the reporters in the driveway.

And with my first proper paycheque, I bought him an I-pad.

Or why Evan wasn?t walking to school anymore.

I would estimate he had it for around a fortnight before it was taken away.

It was so close. One minute.

Came home saying it had been confiscated. I haven?t seen it since.

Second thing I did? Down payment on this beauty. (he gestures to his house)

I was somebody I could be proud of.

The next, I can barely show my face outside the house let alone on the set.

They turn up outside my work, ready to pounce.

After so long of scrimping by.

We had a proper home.

A normal life.

It was all finally falling into place when, He adopts The Archer yoga pose

Cameras everywhere. Poised and glaring at me. Looking for a response.

Craving some back story of an oppressed religious upbringing.

Desperate to paint this picture of a troublesome young tear away.

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script ?Do you agree with your son?s online comments, Mr Allen??

surface. Steadily watching a kettle.

?Do you think your celebrity status has provoked this rebellious behaviour??

Liz:

?Didn?t you ever educate your son about that word Mr Allen??

It takes three minutes and thirty-eight seconds to boil a standard electric kettle.

I tell them it?s not that simple. It?s not all black and white.

From button pushed, to button clicked.

You think you?re protecting them from one problem? and you just end up pushing them into another.

David tells me off for filling it to the brim, but if you only pour enough water in for yourself, sure as hell everyone will want a cuppa tea by the time it hits boiling point.

?And if you don?t publically condemn your son?s behaviour, Mr Allen, Have you considered how this may impact on your career??

Whoever said a watched kettle never boils, lied.

I?ve seen it. Over and over, it will always boil.

It?s nice actually to stand in the one spot.

Pause

To have a purpose for being there.

That question hung,

When it?s mast and poured, I just leave them on the work top.

suspended in the air.

I don?t shout on them. They know it?s there.

Hooked around my throat.

They?re always wandering the house.

That was it.

No purpose, just drifting.

They don?t speak to each other, they don?t speak to me.

Scene 4 - ?A Watched Kettle?

They?re like shadows.

The Allen Household, afternoon. Three days after Evan?s arrest. Liz stands with her arms spread along a work

Silent. Distorted.

Unreal versions of themselves.

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script I was just happy to have Evan back in the house.

It was my choice.

To smell his deodorant overpower the bathroom,

I wanted to be here. With Evan.

to hear the floor boards in his room creak as he walked to his bed.

And if they ever ask me,

I told him he didn?t have to go back to school until after his trial.

Scene 5 - ?Moral Education?

He was so relieved.

Evan?s School. David dons a tie and jacket, becoming Teacher.

that?s what I?ll tell them.

For the first time in months, he smiled at me.

Teacher: He?ll go to court he says, He?ll stand in front of that judge.

There are at least twenty of them. I can?t possibly keep my eyes on every

Just not school. Not yet.

single pupil all the time.

As if the judgement of another child somehow overrules the law.

It?s RMPS. (sighs) Religious, Moral and Philosophical Studies.

More discussion, less preaching.

His guidance teacher posts his work out to us and I drop it back in to be marked.

? A classroom assistant??

Is that a joke?

She glances behind at Evan and David Evan: I don?t think either of them have really noticed that I?m here.

I dunno fifteen? Twenty? There?s supposed to more but everyone skives RE.

All day.

Half them don?t even know where the department is.

Making cups of tea.

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script Teacher:

I don?t know the exact details.

I wouldn?t say he stands out. He?s not the brightest but certainly not the worst.

I just heard, his guidance teacher is a friend of mine.

He sits up the back. Rarely speaks, even in group work.

Concerns? No red flags.

He?s been late once or twice, but he takes a telling off when he?s given one.

His work is not always great, but it?s consistent. I feel like he is trying.

It wasn?t gossip, she was genuinely concerned.

I?m not entirely sure, but I think he was close to suspension.

A few boys had gotten themselves into trouble, caught in a part of the school they shouldn?t have been in.

Smoking maybe. She couldn?t tell me.

The rector let them off with a warning.

Evan:

I moved him so I could watch out for him.

Maybe it?s me. But I thought moral and philosophical work was meant to be about thinking. Being all pensive and contemplating life and that.

Evan:

So why is it surprising that I?m quiet?

Everyone else got to stay where they were. Work with the people they sat next to.

He put me right next to Mark Dempsey.

Teacher:

And his hyena pals.

There was one week, I put them into teams. We?d being learning about ambassadorship and the way in which one should conduct themselves when

Mark edged his seat towards me when I sat down.

representing the school and the community.

Teacher:

Evan:

They are little rowdier. But I thought they might encourage him. Bring him out his shell.

He made me sit at the front.

Make the walk of shame through the desks and chairs. I took my time clambering over them all.

Evan:

Teacher:

I could literally feel his breath on my neck. He liked to remind me he was there. That there was no escape.

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script Teacher:

Evan:

Once I had divided the groups, I asked them to discuss the importance of wearing a school uniform, with a view to reporting back to the class.

They kept talking about my mum.

Evan: Mark is very much in favour of school uniform it turns out. Which comes as news to me considering his idea of uniform appears to be no blazer, no tie and an ancient Celtic top under his never-before-washed grey shirt.

I disagree. I think a uniform takes away our identity and our individuality.

And I?ve come to reckon that secretly, Mark agrees with me.

If I was a loud scummy cunt whose only indication I had any fucking money was a ripped Celtic shirt that he proudly claims to have NICKED ? I wouldn?t want found out either.

What did your mum wear to school? Did she wear knickers? She?s a right ride your mum, eh?

Teacher: They were laughing, but it didn?t look offensive.

Evan was in another world. Kept his head down. Barely spoke. Exactly what I was trying to avoid happening.

Evan: He waited ?til the teacher looked away.

Started jabbing a ruler under the desk. He meant it to stab me in the balls, but he got my bladder.

Teacher:

Teacher:

I did hear someone shout. It wasn?t clear who.

I hovered over them for a while. Tried to listen in.

Mark had said that Evan called him poor.

Though even from a distance, I had my eye on them.

Evan was quiet throughout the whole task.

Evan:

I could see the boys looking at him, speaking to him. He didn?t seem interested.

I never.

Teacher: He said Evan had told him fuck off.

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script Evan:

Scene 6 - ?Part of the Sequence?

I never!

Teacher:

A week after Evan?s arrest. Liz?s (old) work. A small recruitment firm in the city. Liz steps forward, pins her hair back and removes an oversized cardi to reveal a smart black dress, she becomes THE BOSS.

I didn?t hear to be honest, but Evan didn?t defend himself. I kept asking.

The Boss:

Demanding answers and he just stood there. Defiant.

I saw the papers.

Evan:

Not every day you see a staff member?s son on the front pages. (nostalgic) ? That familiar wee face.

If I?d moved off my seat, they?d have seen it.

Leaking down the chair, soaking into my trousers.

Teacher:

It?s all over the internet too. Many of our clients, staff, even the cleaners were keen to bring it to my attention.

Pause

I kept him behind after the bell. He looked close to tears.

When I was younger, I had all sorts of jobs.

I wanted to help.

I?ve been a waitress in a 1950s tea room.

A barmaid in a dindgy old man?s pub.

Evan: He wanted a confession.

A shoe saleswomen helping elderly ladies into their wide fitting Van Dals.

I?ve cooked pizza, cleaned toilets, washed cars. All before I reached college.

Teacher: Tell me what?s wrong.

It might seem a lot.

Tell me what you?re afraid of??

It might look as though I was shoved out quicker than most, but the truth is, it was my decision.

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script None of them were for me. Different as they seem they all had one common denominator.

management.

My talent lay in scanning potential staff.

I was an expert in understanding character.

I was not the boss.

And I found that bosses, regardless of their field, don?t take too kindly to a seventeen year old who thinks they know how to run their business more efficiently than they do.

Observing patterns in their behaviour, Extracting their inner most fears and desires from a simple 60 minute interview.

Sounds like I should be working for police doesn?t it?

A young upstart I was called in the shoe shop.

A cheeky wee bitch in the pub.

The fact is

In the tearoom, I was a little madam who didn?t understand the chain of command.

I know if I want to employ you within the first five minutes of us meeting.

Before you?ve even made it to the board room.

Pause, she rolls her eyes Interestingly enough, these local businesses have all but disappeared and I can?t help but think, if they?d just taken me a little more seriously?

But I?m grateful to them. Because they taught me how not to run a business.

They taught me how not to hire.

I?m watching you from the second you look up to check you?re in the right building.

The moment you take a breath to introduce yourself, I?m already listening.

So it?s probably no surprise that I run a highly successful recruitment agency.

More importantly, who not to hire.

Knowing what sort of candidate best suits the employer is the whole game.

I have never claimed to have a vast knowledge of the fashion industry or be an expert in hospitality

And any who don?t fit the bill are dealt with, Promptly and professionally.

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script I hand-picked every single member of my staff. Even the cleaners.

They?re an integral part of the business after all.

And professionally.

And she has to live with that.

Every single person has a duty, they are part of the sequence, an impact on a wider purpose.

We are successful because we are a team.

Scene 7 - ?The Warrior?

A great team.

The day before Evan?s trial. Small room, police station. Evan is not in cuffs.

That I chose.

Evan: Pause And yet,

Antisocial behaviour.

Well that?s just ignorant. I happen to think I am a highly sociable person.

(she sits) sometimes, Very rarely, your instinct lets you down.

The one you called an equal, The person you felt more sure about than any other threatens your livelihood.

Your very reason for breathing.

I speak to more people in a matter of hours than you probably do all week.

Y?ever played? I asked them.

They laughed.

I?m serious.

They laughed again.

I had no idea I was so fucking funny.

Pause

?And do you believe you are a soldier, Evan? Do you empathise more with the online world??

In the end, it was Liz?s choice to leave.

Hey. Listen now. I?m not some pathetic twat that goes online to compensate for their mediocre existence.

Searching for some maiden wench to wank off to.

Promptly.

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script There?s strategy involved, intelligence, navigation. Chances are if a war broke out, I reckon I would have some valuable insight and advice for the Army like.

The wizard.

Liz is highlighted in the background

So to answer your question. I don?t think I?m a fucking soldier. I?m not some avatar.

It?s just a collective of reasonable, highly sociable, people.

But seen as you?re so interested, Allow me to paint a picture for you.

Doesn?t get too close, doesn?t have a lot of obvious strength.

But as you would expect, he has magic. His staff protects the Warrior. Fires armour round his torso or casts a spell to trick the enemy. He?s responsible for the weather too.

Making it slippy underfoot, or blinding the enemy with lightening. Deafening him with claps of thunder.

In this game of good and evil,

A distraction to fool the enemy.

I am a warrior.

I am Thee Warrior.

Then there?s the archer.

And in this world, you

David is highlighted in the background

are nothing.

And I am not alone.

One person can?t take on evil himself.

We are a class.

A tank, a unit.

A tracker who remains at a safe distance. You?ll feel the pierce of his arrow through your heart long before you see his face.

He?s nimble on his feet, he has an energy and spirit that pushes him so far he can?t be followed.

He takes the focus off the warrior, allowing the rest of us to close ? And lastly, there?s the thief.

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script A troll-type creature who lurks in the shadows.

Everyone has a limit.

He has lower health, so he can't afford to charge into battle.

You might have a look and think - I could take him.

Instead he lays low,

You?d be wrong.

he sneaks?

He might fight with a sword that that could decapitate a demon twice his height.

he picks his moment and slices into you before you?ve had time to blink.

Might look like he has rocks under the skin on his arms.

Enough hair on his chest to catch a Black Widow.

His weapon of choice? A dagger of course.

But that?s not what you need to worry about.

The smaller and deadlier the better.

Look closer, into his eyes.

He likes to be close to his target.

The inner workings of his mind unravel.

Likes the victim to know,

He?ll slice off your fighting arm in one swift movement.

?aye, it was me, I done it. Ya bastard.?

Skin you off your hatred and leave you to bleed dry.

Most folk will fall foul to the thief.

He?ll rip our your tongue with his bare hands,

They forget about him. But as you already know,

Chanting songs of victory as he gallops off with your head on a stick.

I?m not most folk.

I?ve been watching him for years. I?ve studied his every sneaky movement.

Oh, it?s not violent.

It?s symbolic.

Thieves don?t get to invade someone else?s land and get away with it. And this particular thief had started one too many wars.

And don?t worry,

The Warrior has a significant strength.

It?s just a game?

Higher hit points allow him to take more punishment than most other classes before succumbing. They can take almost anything you throw at them.

Its character, creativity. Just a bit of storytelling, eh?

But then,

The power to kill can be as satisfying as the power to create.

After all,

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script Can?t it.

Ye duplicated my facebook account.

Evan Allen ? The Warrior.

Never underestimate the power of The Warrior.

A photo of some fat fuck with a sword. 896 friends ? every single one of them saying they?re wanting to fight me?!

But you did, didn?t you?

Isn?t it hilarious how you?ve slagged me off for being some sad bastard online fighter then you challenge me to a boxing match??

Did you think I didn?t have it in me?

That this was all some kind of faรงade?

That I was going to stand here and take this shit for the rest of my life?

Did you think you would get away with it ya shifty sleekit wee prick?

You made it too easy for me Mark. Ye kept at it.

Ye kept taunting me. Provoking me.

You were ready to kill me. Knife out, creeping up behind me, typical little thief.

Evan becomes increasingly aggressive from this point on, cumulating with him screaming the words that got him arrested.

Ye spat in my face. Ye nicked my phone and flushed it down the toilet. Ye tripped me up. Ye battered me at break. Ye paid other folk to batter me at lunch. Ye followed me home.

Ye hacked into my gaming forum.

Don?t think for a minute that your mentality has gone unnoticed.

I?m well aware you haven?t got the intelligence to respond with words, only violence. Like a fucking caveman.

Well unfortunately for you Mark, I?ve got all the words.

And I know how to use them. I know how to end you!

I?ll be up to my knees in Fenian blood ? surrender or you?ll die!!

Scene 8 - ?Battle?

The Allen Household. The morning of Evan?s trial. Liz sits alone, fully dressed in black.

Liz: The alarm clock in our bedroom is digital.

It doesn?t make a sound.

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script And yet,

David:

I could hear ticking.

We had agreed on bright colours.

I refuse to wear my funeral get up.

In that half dreaming, half awake state Straining to draw together blurry pictures, fragments of scenes that I can?t quite recognise.

Ticking ?

Everything kin

He swaps his bright shirt for a dark one.

It?ll have to be the BAFTA shirt. And she can just lump it for changing the routine 10 minutes before we have to leave.

like sand, I can?t grasp it All the while, ticking.

Even when I open my eyes, I hear it TICKING.

Liz: I needed the truth.

David: She had to look.

Liz:

Pause, she looks at herself in the mirror

I needed to know what I was walking into.

David:

Every movement was a step closer to that court room.

Every smudge of makeup was a front to mask the tears, hide my failings.

David appears wearing a light coloured shirt, he notes her clothing choice. He sighs and moves to the opposite side of the stage.

Couldn?t help herself.

Liz: I had to be prepared for whatever they?d planned to throw at my son.

David: It?s what we know to be true, not what the bloody press tell people.

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script Liz:

It was just one story.

So I went looking.

Liz:

I didn?t have to go far.

They?d twisted the whole thing.

David:

They said it was because of me?

She just skimmed the stories, took note of the headlines and photographs.

If she?d taken the time to really look through the articles, most of them were very fair and accurate.

Except one.

Pause

Because of what I?d done.

David: This particular journalist had hunted high and low for someone specific to speak to about Evan?s behaviour. Someone who would tell the story he wanted to write.

Last week, he found her.

Liz: (recalling) ?Violent Teenage Bigot Faces Jail?

David: Evan?s face.

A typical dour teenage expression. Made worse by fuzzy photography and a black and white newspaper.

Liz: Angela?

David: Briefly married to Liz?s brother Frank.

She suspected Angela of having an affair.

Liz:

Liz:

I caught her red handed!

(recalling) ?The Allen family moved from Western Scotland in 2006 to escape

David:

from ? quote ? an overly populated Catholic Town ? unquote.? ??

David:

She would hold on to my arm when we spoke.Liked to come close and rub the lipstick marks off my cheeks with her damp fingertips. Liz always noticed. Always picked me up on it.

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script Liz: I knew it the minute I met her.

There was just something different? something not right with her.

I told her to tell Frank the truth.

She refused.

I told her she was no longer welcome in our family. She said, ?I think your husband would disagree??

David: Liz told Frank.

?I was expelled from the family for being a Catholic?, she says.

A picture of dad?s house next to the article.

David: It didn?t help that you could see the British flag in his garden?

Liz: It was Remembrance Day. He?s an ex-serviceman for Christ?s Sake!

David:

In front of the whole family.

Frank divorced Angela. Now, a card at Christmas is his only contact.

Liz:

Liz:

She denied it of course. Told Frank I had it in for her because she went to Mass.

Evan was just eight or nine. Old enough to remember.

(She sighs aggressively) ONCE, I might have said something,

Young enough not to understand.

They say kids repeat their parent?s mistakes, don?t they?

A mild ridicule.

David:

But only at the irony that such a vile and vindictive woman would actually go to church.

It was different back then.

Acting as if she was some kind of innocent.

Liz: Do as I say not as I do.

She told me I?d ruined her life.

And now there she was.

Pause

Sticking the knife into mine.

Portraying me as the villain, a chip on my shoulder, she says.

David: Other reports went down a different road.

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script Fixated on an obsession with computer games.

The one I hadn?t seen before,

Liz:

showed him posing with a knife.

Like any teenage boy.

Liz:

David:

It was some other kid with a talent for modifying photography.

Or the fact that he?d been bullied.

Liz: He was being teased.

David: I told him to stand up for himself.

Liz: I wanted to speak to the school.

David: I told him to challenge threatening behaviour.

Liz: I could have called the other parents, had a word.

Mother to mother.

It had to be.

David: I knew Evan had a facebook page.

I went on it regularly.

It wasn?t marked as private. Kids never bother.

It was used it for the sole purpose of trading game cheats and bragging about which stages he?d completed first.

After we were told he was being bullied, I checked his page every single day.

I was all over it.

Liz: I knew Mark Dempsey. I remember his face from class pictures. And his short, spikey blonde hair.

He didn?t smile often enough for my liking.

Pause David: Then there were less familiar details.

Two Evan Allen facebook pages.

David: It was Mark who got to him. Found him on a gaming forum.

Threatened Evan?s space.

I don?t know how the hell I missed it.

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script Liz:

David:

I should have been wary of him sooner. Ask about him, then watch for Evan?s reaction.

Lucky escape son. Don?t fucking do it again.

David:

Liz: Kicking my stomach and catching in my throat

I suppose Evan thought he was being clever.

Hacking into the fake account.

Leaving that comment.

Projection ? ?Select character?

Evan Steps forward

He might even have gotten away with it, had someone?s mother not been doing exactly what I was doing.

Secretly trolling the internet in the interest and safety of my child.

She screen snapped it and passed the image to the police.

Liz: I didn?t though. I didn?t ask about Mark. I didn?t check up.

David: I would quit the show. Spend more time with him.

Projection ? ?Select Class?

David and Liz stand either side of Evan

I wasn?t prepared.

Liz:

David:

I can feel it sweating out my pores

If I?d just found that comment before she did.

Stretching against my skin.

Liz: Am I supposed to feel guilt? Anger??

Projection ? ?Select World?

David:

Lights change to illuminate a court room.

I could have punished him. Not the courts!

Liz:

David:

Because It?s all there. Raging around inside me

I?d take him away. Just us. Just the boys.

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script Projection counts down until the end of their monologues. ?3? 2? 1? Battle?

Liz: It?s soaking through my clothes. Smearing my make up like war paint David: Or I?d sit right next to him, console in hand.

Liz: As if I?m preparing for a fight.

David: I?d say it?s alright.

Liz: Like I?m ready for battle.

David: It?s going to be alright.

All three actors take turns reciting the following lines.

The first 7 are headlines. The rest are whispers form the public, reacting to the case. Cast should speak to the audience, rather than each other.

- Perthshire Youth Punished - ÂŁ1500 Fine For Threatening Communications - Evan Allen Avoids Jail Time - Online Bigot Gets Community Service - Teenage Gamer Let Off - Sectarian Abuse Forgiven in Court - 16 yr Old Fined for Online Comments - He came close, The warrior.

- nearly went down - nearly sent off - almost punished.

Lights fade to dark in a sequence that resembles the beginning of a computer game entering a new land. (Think Mario!) And rise in a similar fashion.

Some would say.

- just a few short articles, here and there.

- inner pages.

Scene 9 - "A play without characters" Lights rise. cast openly de- robe and re-emerge as themselves. Creating an image of being human, a definitive distinction from their electronic /poised poses throughout the play.

Projection above them reads "#Warrior"

- no more photographs - like the world lost interest - like they felt it no longer concerned them - maybe we'd have preferred to see him banged up?

Warrior by Jennifer Adam - script

Using this Drama Pack

- locked away?

We would appreciate it if you could notify us if you are planning to use the scripts and/ or screen the filmed versions of the plays. Workshops with actors and directors who were involved in the project could be arranged at your convenience.

To inquire further information, please contact us at info@just-festival.org

- and where would that lead him?

Pause - and as each of today's articles become tomorrow's chippy papers - the world online is repeating, re-tweeting, - carving their views on your walls like graffiti that won't wash away.

- the taigs, the unionists - the Fenian cunts - and the orange bastards - everyone has an opinion - no one can see the cycle - the wheels turning - bringing us right back to the start.

- Another family.

- another court case - another warrior.

- you can watch it happening.

- you can choose to ignore it.

Lights fade to blackout.

-THE END -

If you would like to arrange for live performances of the plays, contact us at either blackdingoproductions@gmail.com or info@just-festival.org

Acknowledgements Just Festivals would like to thank Black Dingo Productions, David McFarlane, Jen McGregor, Jennifer Adam, John and Gerry Kielty for creative cooperation over the past four years. We would like to express our appreciation for the artistic input of directors and actors who made issues surrounding sectarianism appealing to audiences.

The project would not have happened if not for the support of the Scottish Government Community Safety Unit and the Voluntary Action Fund Tackling Sectarianism Programme officers.

Finally, we would like to thank project partners - Brora Community Learning Centre, Creativity in Learming Citizens Theatre, Glasgow Women's Library, Nil by Mouth, and Sacro for supporting touring activities.

CopyrightŠ2016 Just Festivals Drama Pack - Editorial - Beata Skobodzinska and David McFarlane Drama Pack - Design - Beata Skobodzinska Drama Pack - Print - WeAreTenfold Image credits: Creepie Stool - Jasmin Egner Kiss, Cuddle, Torture - Susie Cavill Singin' I'm not Billy, He's a Tim - Just Festivals Such a Nice Girl - Sandrine Cazalet The Onion of Bigotry - Sandrine Cazalet Warrior - Sandrine Cazalet & Jennifer Adam DVD - filmed and edited by Fablevision Studios DVD - production - CDflyers

CopyrightŠ2016 Just Festivals