Chapter Four
Holes in Our Souls Need Healing n the introduction to this book, I mentioned that the inspiration for its title came from a story about my mother who, during the Depression, daily mended the holes in the bottom of her one and only pair of shoes so she could wear them to school the next day. She camouflaged the holes by cutting out a piece of discarded cardboard and painstakingly fitting it inside the shoes. She then painted the bottom black to match the soles. How nauseating the smell of that shoe polish must have become to her.
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The cardboard soles rubbed painful blisters that never had time to heal. Scabs remained soft and fresh, and the rubbing caused the blisters to pop and seep. Day in and day out, she had to rely on the same thin substitute for a real sole. Well-worn, repaired socks did nothing to ease the painful blisters, and more often than not, contributed to further pain. She walked gingerly due to her great discomfort and to avoid scraping off the shoe polish, which would give her disguise away. She could never escape her “tend to the mend� process. My mother did not know if or when there would be a new pair of shoes for her. She did the best that she could with what she had because there was nothing better. To avoid embarrassment, she was willing to bear the pain, perform the tedious task every night, and walk as carefully as possible to avoid detection. The materials she used were temporary. They were neither sturdy nor durable. Cardboard was never intended to be used as soles for shoes. She could not walk for long without disappointment tugging at her heels, for the holes inevitably reappeared despite her meticulous effort to hide the problem. 27