One of my favorite sitcoms when I was coming out was Seinfeld. My favorite episode was when the gang had a contest to see who can hold out the longest without satisfying themself. They called it, “Are you master of your domain?” During the contest, everyone was getting irritable. Eventually everyone caved. Interestingly, throughout the entire episode they never mentioned the word “masturbation.”
Which brings us to National Masturbation Month in May. Yes, it’s a thing. How will you celebrate? Will you master your domain? If not, it’s the safest sex you’ll ever have. For other sex, definitely wear condoms, take PrEP, and have fun. Check out all the HIV/STD medical specialists throughout this issue. They are there to help you live a healthy, safe and satisfying life.
Don’t forget to stop by one of The Adult Shoppe’s three locations to pick up your swimsuits, toys and accessories. Thank you, Tony Cabral for your amazing photography and hosting this year’s photoshoot at your Mister B&B called Tony’s House. Check out the history of men’s swimsuits on page 22.
That’s it for me. I have to take care of some personal business. I won’t be the master of my domain this month (or any month for that matter!)
Enjoy our annual swimsuit issue!
Master Bater
CREATIVE
Studio
Hernandez
Photography
WEB: Zachary Cross / Custom Resumes APP: Steve Sovacki / Biz Burst Mobile
1995-2024: 29 Years of Design and Creative Excellence
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Most of the Earth is covered by water so it’s only natural that once we climbed out of the primordial ooze and turned into humans we went back into the water – this time for fun. We called it “swimming.” Through the millennia we decided that if we couldn’t swim naked, we needed to develop something fashionable to wear in the lakes, rivers, ponds, and pools.
About 10,000 B.C.E. the ancient Egyptians loved swimming in the Nile because it was impossible to swim in the sand. They weren’t very good swimmers because they arms and legs were so stiff. They probably got eaten by crocodiles.(1)
Ancient Rome saw the saw the rise of “natatoriums” (what we now call “swimming pools.”) Except for super freaky Caligula, the Romans found nudity revolting. We don’t. (2)
During the Dark Ages Europeans forgot how to swim for about 1,500 years mostly because they were afraid of sea monsters. Hence, they neglected
Around 1300 C.E. explorer and adventurer Marco Polo invented the first pool game. He called it, “Marco Polo.” Unfortunately, he didn’t have a cool swimsuit but the game is still played in pools today along with Dibble Dabble. (3)
During the Renaissance swimming was discouraged and considered immoral. Probably because of all the prudish Catholic popes telling everyone what to do. But leave it to the French! Fast forward to 1815 and they promoted swimsuits because the French like sexy stuff. Well, and Jerry Lewis. (4)
Painter Frédéric Bazille painted “Scene of Summer” in 1869 with bunch of Frenchies gettin’ frisky around the le swimming hole looking remarkably horny in a variety of swimsuits looking remarkably modern. (5)
Around the 1890s men’s full “swimming costumes” hit the beaches. They were made out of wool because it was stretchy. And itchy. And really ugly. Horizontal stripes are so unflattering. (6)
Around 1900 gay men opted for two-piece suits and went to the beach with their BFF’s and carried parasols. (7) Some daring men wore “bottoms” only and they looked kinda like diapers. This was the ancestor of the Speedo. (8) 3 4 5 6 7 8
The 1920s saw the full-body suit return with some tailoring redesign. Chic. Black. Slimming. These swimmers discovered that water makes it hard to keep your cigarette lit. (9)
Suntans became fashionable thanks to fashion designer Coco Chanel, who popularized Bain de Soleil tanning gel in 1925. Until then suntans were considered low class. Fancy people were spooky, pale and ghostly. Swimsuits for men finally went “topless” in 1935. Through the rest of the 1930s and ’40s men’s swimwear looked kinda like a ladies’ girdle. With a belt. If you don’t get your hair wet you could look a little bit like Liberace.
After the war, the 1950s saw a tighter, sexier silhouette in swim trunks, The introduction of latex made mens’ asses look fine! Damn! Pair your suit with a matching top for an extra-cute “cabana boy” look poolside, honey! (11)
The 1970s ushered in the greatest advancement in swimwear: polyester. It’s chlorine resistant and color safe, not to mention it clings to all the right bulges, lumps and bumps. Thanks to Olympic Men’s Swimming gold medalist Mark Spitz and swimwear manufacturer Arena who showed us that fabrics like Spandex and Lycra are a gift from the gods. (14) 9 10 11 12 13 14
Far out! The mod, outta sight ’60s saw op-art patterns while trunks got shorter, a lot tighter and showed off those “baskets,” dude! Of course, not every look was a winner. Take … the Man-kini. Seemed like a good idea, but …
Things regressed in the 1980s when trunks got big and baggy with zany prints. (15) By the ’90s (with the help of Abercrombie & Fitch mania) surfer boy “board shorts” were the rage going below the knee leaving you with white thighs for the rest of the year. (16)
Today there’s a wide variety of swimwear to choose from: briefs, square cut, trunks, thongs (better be careful there) and even Borat-style man-kinis. Don’t ask why. There’s something for every body type with a price point for everyone’s budget.
Now, let’s get soakin’ wet!
It’s classic loterÍa plus mini-games. Win over $300 in prizes every Thursday night/ Check out the pop-up market. The RipplePHX Chariot is onsite providing Free Rapid HIV Testing. 710 W. Montecito Ave. in Phoenix. More info at RipplePHX.org
Thursdays at 8 p.m.
May The Fourth Be With You! Come as your favorite Neimoidian, Togruta or Wookie for an interplanetary rave with DJ Darth Vader, plus a costume contest and drink specials. It’s like the Mos Eisley Cantina. Thundercat Lounge, 747 E. Van Buren St. in Phoenix. Get your free tix at ThundercatLoungePHX.com
Saturday, May 4 at 10 p.m.
Don’t miss the tip off when Brittney Greiner and her gal-pals bang the boards at the Footprint Center, 201 E. Jefferson St. in Phoenix. Get the full season schedule & Tix: Mercury.WNBA.com. Games start at 7 p.m.
May 10 • May 18 • May 23
Sure, he’s straight. Sure, he’s hot. And the gay boys love him! You won’t want to miss this homo-friendly breeder boy skewer everybody in five nights of interactive laffs. Arizona Financial Theatre, 400 W. Washington St. Tickets: TicketMaster.com or call 800-653-8000
May 15, 17, 18 & 19
TikTok’s gay boy farmer who wears a bathrobe and cusses at his chickens takes his debut comedy tour, “When That Thang Get Ta Thang’n” from his Alabama farm and into the big city! Catch this bonafide barn burner at Mesa Arts Center, One Center Street in downtown Mesa. Tix: MesaArtsCenter.com or call 480-644-6500
Friday, May 17 at 8 p.m.
Break out the tanning butter! (And the Boy Butter, too.) Pack up your camper and picnic hamper, and pitch a tent (however you wanna take that) for this annual event. What happens at Bartlett Bash, doesn’t necessarily stay at Bartlett Bash. Wink, wink. Details at BartlettLakeBash.com
May 17-19
Calling all nerds, geeks, and cosplay dorks! This fan-driven, pop-culture convention is back! Barbra Seville hosts their “Dragstravaganza!” Put on your Sailor Moon outfit and head downtown to the Phoenix Convention Center, 100 N. 3rd St. More info at PhoenixFanFusion,com
May 24-26
Boy meets boy. Girl meets girl and everything else goes in this show choir’s summer presentation “LGBTQsical!” There’s singing and dancing plus the crowd-pleasing comedy of drag queen Robin Banks. Catch the tunes at Phoenix Center for the Arts Theater, 1202 N. 3rd St. in Phoenix. More info and tickets at VoicesOfTheDesert,org
June 7-9
Add some sizzle poolside with a selection of sexy swimwear from The Adult Shoppe, the Valley’s premier adult entertainment and retail boutique. Under new ownership, check out all of their newly remodeled stores at one of their three locations. If you’re looking to spice things up, they’ve got a wide selection of adult merchandise for you to choose from. Make The Adult Shoppe your destination.
If you’re looking for a gay, men’s only guesthouse? ION Arizona and our models visited Tony’s House, a seven-bedroom, clothing-optional resort-like private home. Conveniently located, rooms are available for booking through TonyCabralre.com or with the largest gay accommodation community, MrB&B at MisterBandB.com
Swimwear courtesy of The Adult Shoppe.
Photography By: Tony Cabral Models: Ase McDermaid, Blake Sigwart, Marcus Freiberger, Payton Smith, and Jordan Turner
Stacy’s @ Melrose Trey Cabaret (W)
Walter Studios Weekend Brunch (W)
Charlie’s Sunday Funday (W)
Thunderbird Lounge Happy Hour Specials (W)
Karaoke (W) 8pm
Sazerac Karaoke (W) 8pm
Stacy’s @ Melrose Karaoke (W)
Walter Studios Weekend Brunch (W)
Bartlett Lake Bartlett Bash Weekend
Charlie’s Undie Mundies (W)
Charlie’s Sunday Funday (W)
Sazerac Karaoke (W)
Charlie’s Memorial Day Party
Charlie’s WTF! Wednesdays (W)
Sazerac Whiskey Flights / Cigars (W)
Thunderbird Lounge Loteria (W)
Sazerac Weekly DJ’s (W)
Sazerac / Roosevelt Row
Flex Spa’s Phoenix Blackout Night (W)
Stacy’s @ Melrose Communion Goth Night (W)
Thunderbird Lounge Loteria (W)
Charlie’s Pipin’ Hot Friday’s (W)
Sazerac Whiskey Flights / Cigars (W)
WEDNESDAY 1 15 8 22 29
Sazerac Weekly DJ’s (W)
Flex Spa’s Phoenix Blackout Night (W)
Sazerac Weekly DJ’s (W)
Charlie’s Pipin’ Hot Friday’s (W)
Arizona Pup Weekend Kobalt / The Rock
@ Melrose Dance Party (W)
@ Melrose Flavor Dance Party (W)
@ Melrose Dance Party (W)
Lake Bartlett Bash Weekend
@ Melrose Dance Party (W)
Stacy’s @ Melrose Communion Goth Night (W) THURSDAY SATURDAY FRIDAY 2 16 9 23 30 4 18 11 25 1 3 17 10 24 31
Walter Studios Weekend Brunch (W)
Stacy’s Stacy’s Stacy’s Stacy’s
The Emmy winning comedian, actor, writer and filmmaker explores just about everything in this new docuseries where he navigates friends, family, and strangers in his quest for love, sex, and connection. At times revealing, offensive, and painful, the series has created quite a stir especially with the Black Queer community. Watch to find out why.
You’ll get sucked into this audacious historical psychodrama starring Julianne Moore and the yummy Nicholas Galitzine (Red, White & Royal Blue), about a treacherous mother and son who schemed, seduced and killed to conquer the Court of England and the bed of King James I. Based on a scandalous true story.
“You are my best mate, I wouldn’t want to be dead with anyone else.” Meet two ghost detectives who seem like they’re more than just besties. Set in The Sandman universe, the series is packed full of supernatural craziness, including demons, Death herself, zombies, killer clowns, and all sorts of other nightmares – including the horny Lukas Gage (White Lotus).
THE FOUR SEASONS
America’s foremost humorist, satirist, and essayist. Not only is he gay, he’s obsessive/compulsive, elected to the American Academy of Arts and Letters, he’s absolutely hilarious. Don’t miss him speak and read from his work at the Orpheum Theatre, 203 W. Adams St. in Phoenix. Get your tickets at sponsor ScottsdalePerformingArts.org
Friday, May 10 at 8 p.m.
Who doesn’t love to see a ballet corps of hot guys in super tight tights doing a grand jeté across the stage to Vivaldi? Take a sunset journey through Spring, Summer, Fall & Winter at the Desert Botanical Garden, 1201 N. Galvin Pkwy in Phoenix. Tix: BalletAZ.org
May 15-June 1 at 8 p.m.
She does those cry-your-eyes-out ASPCA commercials (even she changes the channel.) Catch the 30th anniversary of her landmark album, “Fumbling Towards Ecstasy” world tour! Arizona Financial Theatre, 400 W. Washington St. Tickets: TicketMaster.com or call 800-653-8000
Tuesday, June 4 at 7:30 p.m.
PHOENIX FRIDAY SATURDAY
Use the ION ARIZONA APP for Google Maps turn-by-turn directions with links to UBER & LYFT! DON’T DRINK & DRIVE!
fezoncentral.com
flexspas.com
ftrooftop.com
hulasmoderntiki.com
karambanightclub.com
kingpingrill.com
kobaltbarphoenix.com
mipatioaz.com
nutownebar.com
ozbarphx.com rewinedphx.square therockdmphoenix
sazeracphoenix.com
walterstudios.com walterwherehouse.com
We have a question for you … When was the last time you saw a musical show or a movie that was completely, totally gay? Was it Priscilla, Queen of the Desert? Or perhaps La Cage Aux Folles? Been a while? Well then, it’s probably time to get a new punch on your Gay Card! Voices of the Desert – the unconventional theatrical choir of Phoenix – brings to the stage, LGBTQusical the Musical! This show has everything … singing, dancing, drag queens getting run over by a bus, lesbians with hammers … the list goes on! Sing along to some of your favorite Broadway tunes like the Rogers & Hammerstein South Pacific classic “There Is Nothing Like a Dame” rewritten, of course to – wait for it! – “There Is Nothing Like a GAY!”
It’s all lots of fun, sure, but all kidding aside, they’ll also share some of the challenges our community is facing and let you know what you can do to help. A portion of the proceeds is going to the Queer Center to help them with the great work they are doing in our community.
Everyone should see this show; it’s an uplifting celebration of all things LGBTQIA+. You want more? As an added bonus you’ll be entertained by the hysterical, dragtastic antics of Robin Banks, always a favorite at the Cruisin’ 7th showroom.
LGBTQusical the Musical is on Friday, June 7 at 8 p.m., Saturday, June 8 at 7 p.m. and one more time on Sunday, June 9 at 3 p.m. The theater is part of the Phoenix Center for the Arts at 1202 N. Third Street, in Phoenix, located on the east end of Margaret T. Hance Park.
This, you gotta see, folks! Tickets are $20 presale and $25 at the door. If you are unable to afford a ticket, Voices of the Desert has options for you to see the show for free! Reach out to us and we will make sure you are covered, just email them at Info@VoicesOfTheDesert.org and let them know. This is a entertaining – and most unusual – show and it’s expect it to sell out. So you don’t miss it! Join us in a musical exploration of our queer community that is both humorous and heartfelt. Laugh, love, and learn about what sets us apart and brings us together.
Sing out, Louise! Find out more about Voices of the Desert – an unconventional theatrical chorus, darlings, what they do, and how you can join in the singing, dancing, and fun at VoicesOfTheDesert.org
It’s a busy month for the Cosmos, especially big, bossy Jupiter. You know you love him! May 2 • Pluto goes retrograde through October 11 bringing intense emotionsand lots of “feels.” It settles in Aquarius for the next 20 years, bringing on unprecedented transpersonal innovation. Look under the surface for answers. ¶ May 18 • It’s a doublefeature of a Venus-Uranus plus a Jupiter-Sun conjunction! Enjoy a smogasbord of flavors. If your plate is already full, get a cosmological to-go bag and offer something to someone who’s starving. ¶ May 23 • Venus conjoins Jupiter during the Full Moon. It’s an astrological party! Just be wary of the resulting hangover and clean-up. ¶ May 25 • Big, fat, luscious Jupiter moves into Gemini and emphasizes your voyage for discovery.
ARIES Mar. 21 - Apr. 20
Eclipse season caused a few flare ups and fallouts, little lamb. Now it’s time to relax. You’re dedicated and you’re determined. Just don’t get delusional about it. Personal change is out there. But you gotta look for it.
TAURUS April. 21 - May 20
You’ve been tested a lot lately. You’ve been testy, too. That’s all finished, thanks to the New Moon.
Birthday Cows: Venus is on your side. Everyone is doing a doubletake for a closer look.
GEMINI May 21 - June 21
Your reputation is under scrutiny. Why? People love to talk about you because you’re astonishing. Birthday fishies discover something from their past that gives your confidence a boost. You’re in high demand.
CANCER June 22 - July 22
Look up at the stars and planets. It’s all for you. Jupiter and Venus are your teachers and you learn something new about yourself. However, they aren’t watching your bank account, so be careful.
LEO July 23 - Aug. 22
Some little kitty cat’s in the spotlight. You’re not going to Hollywood or anything, but you get noticed. A lot. Grab an opportunity you’ve been waiting for. Grab it by the … well, ummm ... you’ll find a place to grab.
VIRGO Aug. 23 - Sep. 22
Take a deep breath and don’t make any hasty decisions. Focus on something spiritual and enlightening. Think about making a pilgrimage. Even if it’s only going to the mall. Or Tucson.
LIBRA Sep. 23 - Oct. 22
You know who’s pretty? You are. Why? Because Venus loves you. So does Pluto, who encourages you to feel good about yourself in new ways. You’re allowed to. For one month.
SCORPIO Oct. 23 - Nov.23
Oh dear. You always have to be in control, don’t you? Relax. Forge a strategic partnership and an emotional alliance. Be mindful of the risks you take and bring on the windfalls!
SAGITTARIUS Nov. 23 - Dec. 23
Close your eyes. Now imagine your best self, because you really are the best version of you. Ever. The Full Moon lights an emotional fire and you’re fearless. Just like Shakira.
CAPRICORN Dec. 23 - Jan. 20
Roll up your sleeves, Cappy. A whirlwind of tasks, chores and activity turns you into a dynamo. Don’t neglect self-care with all this hustle and bustle otherwise you get grumpy.
AQUARIUS Jan. 21 - Feb. 19
Who are you? You’re not Gandhi. You’re not Liza Minnelli. This is a good time to focus on your own authenticity. Can’t do it on your own? Ask your ancestral spirit team for guidance.
PISCES Feb. 20 - Mar. 20
Tap into your talents and put them on display. In public. (Well, be careful which talents you show off. Some are secret. You know.) A deep dive into the past improves your personal growth.
