Optimist staff named new Sing Song judge
After hearing students’ positive feedback regarding The Optimist Sing Song predictions, The Optimist staff has been chosen to judge all future Sing Song acts.
Over the past several years, The Optimist has had unprecedented accuracy when it comes to predicting the winners, never failing to pick the winners with limited drama around campus, said Courtney McGaha, manager of student productions.
“It really is impressive,” said McGaha, “The Optimist somehow manages to pick the winners without ever
hurting anyone’s feelings or causing drama. I don’t know how they do it.”
The predictions are even more impressive considering they are solely based on the practices early in the week before the show.
“It would be easy for them to get it wrong,” said McGaha, “I mean if there was an act that was unorganized, boring, or had costumes that fell apart, it would be easy for The Optimist to assume they will lose, but somehow they always predict who will win.”
The decision to let The Optimist staff predict who will win came after a stream of positive feedback from YikYak flooded the student
life office on Friday.
“We’ve seen your posts on YikYak, and we also support The Optimist,” said PJ Martinez, associate dean of student engagement. “We want to acknowledge that it is the students who are putting in the hard work of Sing Song, and if they want The Optimist to judge, that’s exactly what we will let them do.”
Dr. Phil Schubert made the announcement after the last Sing Song show.
“We love getting to include our students in everything we do on campus,” Schubert said, “Our motto is ‘to educate students for Christian service and leadership throughout
the world,’ and we think this will provide The Optimist staff with real world experience vital to the formation of their careers.”
In support of The Optimist, some students began ripping up the papers around campus.
“We think it’s insane that the opinions of The Optimist are relegated to only being in the paper,” said Curly-Headed kid from The Optimist. “Their predictions of each act are always so good. They need more of a platform to discuss who they think should win.”
In the past, the acts have been judged by professionals or alumni who know
about each of the categories being judged: set design, costumes, choreography, entertainment and vocals.
The political science department also expressed support for the change.
Allowing The Optimist to judge helps show support for freedom of speech, said Dr. Peter Benson, assistant professor of government and criminal science.
“It’s about First Amendment rights,” said Benson, “Media is the fourth branch of government and letting a newspaper participate in Sing Song helps fight fascism and hold the ACU institution accountable for poor judging.”
After years of searching for a major donor, the College of Business Administration has finally secured a name. Unfortunately, it’s one no one is allowed to say out loud.
Enter: The College That Shall Not Be Named.
Voldemort has officially taken control of the College of Business Administration. The Dark Lord arrived last Monday at 8:04 a.m., disapparated into the dean’s office, and declared a “hostile merger” with what he called “the most power-hungry department on campus.” Within minutes, signage was replaced, syllabi were charred and the college was officially rebranded as the Voldemort College of Business Administration (VCOBA), a name he claims “better reflects the school’s commitment to fear-based leadership and ethically questionable success.”
“Business is power. Power
is control. And control is ... market share,” Voldemort hissed, addressing a stunned BUSA 120 class while casually turning a whiteboard into a snake. “Also, I needed somewhere with free printing.”
Former VCOBA Dean Dr. Mike Willoughby was reportedly thrown out of the second-floor conference room after refusing to sign a magically binding noncom-
The Medical and Counseling Care Center is reporting a substantial uptick in Chapel-related injuries among students, faculty staff this year.
Tyson Alexander, director
of the MACCC, said the injuries and ailments his office has seen related to Chapel have been higher this year than any point since the university began keeping records.
“Usually, we see injuries related to intramurals or maybe new member orientation,” he said. “But with the exception
pete agreement written in Parseltongue.
“I thought I was prepared for anything,” Willoughby said, brushing ash off his blazer. “I’ve dealt with budget cuts, enrollment dips, even a student who tried to pitch a Shark Tank idea during Chapel. But I was not trained for this.”
The faculty responded with mixed emotions. Dr.
of a few students getting concussions from walking into glass walls or bumping into doors, this year it’s been all Chapel.”
For example, several students in recent months have been treated at the MACCC for breathing problems related to excess smoke inhala-
Katie Wick, associate professor of management and wearer of exactly zero enchanted cloaks, expressed concern.
“We’re adapting as best we can,” Wick said. “He’s rebranded management as ‘Dark Arts of Influence’ and finance as ‘Cursed Wealth Acquisition.’ Honestly, the new org chart just screams chaos.”
While some students have
tion. Others have experienced mini-seizures induced by flashing and spinning lights.
“Plus we’ve had a few people complaining of temporary hearing loss from experiencing emotive worship music at high decibels,” Alexander said.
since switched majors, others seem unfazed by the change.
“Honestly, it’s kinda chill,” said sophomore finance major Alecto Carrow. “He gave a lecture on ‘ethics as a liability,’ and I think he made some solid points. Plus, we get out early if someone faints from fear.”
“I thought business was supposed to be easy,” said Seamus Finnigan, who recently changed his major to psychology. “But after Voldemort turned my group project into a blood pact, I decided to switch to the second easiest major instead.”
Voldemort has also updated VCOBA’s career development mission to “prepare students for soul-sucking careers in global domination, wealth extraction and corporate sorcery.”
At press time, Voldemort was seen installing a throne made of course catalogs in the VCOBA atrium and muttering about launching a new MBA track: Master of Business Annihilation.
Fortunately, none of the injuries or conditions have been life- or soul-threatening.
Nathan Kranz, campus minister, said the Chapel office and the Office of Student Life is aware of the issues and is taking steps to alleviate the problem.
“We’re placing respirators at all four exits to provide See MACC, P. 2
IMAGE COURTESY OF HATERS GONNA HATE
The anonymous Optimist predictions team joins the Sing Song judging panel.
IMAGE COURTESY OF CAMPUS SECURITY BALL Lord Voldemort claims COBA in his return.
Lego joins SGA to piece together Wessel kit
In an effort to expand the products offered by the Campus Store, the Student Government Association has announced a partnership with Lego, the Campus Store and its president. The first product released will be a 1000-1 model of Wessel Hall with an exclusive SGA President Josh Springer figurine.
“I’m ecstatic to be featured in the set,” Springer said. “I used to be a resident assistant in Wessel, so being able to put myself back there will be super cool.”
The set will be sold for $125.99, with 30% of the proceeds going to Springer’s new name, image and likeness deal with Lego.
“Being able to sign with Lego has been a super cool experience,” Springer said. “You always see athletes with deals and sponsors so being able to have one as a student body president has been unique.”
With roughly $37 of each sale going to Springer, he expects to be able to work less and spend
more time building his own Lego set.
“As cool as the title is, being the SGA president is really taxing,” Springer said. “I’m always sitting in our meetings thinking about building my Legos.”
ing the graduation rate.
After receiving many complaints about the Wildcat Access program and the process for distributing books at the beginning of each semester, the university has reached a new deal with eCampus.
This new deal will hand out books at the end of the school year to test students’ true IQs. University president Phil Schubert said this new process will make the campus more competitive.
“We’ve seen increases in grade point averages across campus due to students having the material at their fingertips,” he said. “This will show who should truly be on campus because they already know what they need to know.”
The long-term goal is to bring the university to the next Ivy League school by making the competition greater and lowering the acceptance rate while increas-
“We know we’re better than Harvard and Yale, and it’s time everyone else recognizes it too,” Schubert said.
In addition to the delay of books, the campus store will also not be providing lab materials such as gloves and lab coats.
“If the students are smart enough to be in science classes, they should be able to avoid injury without special equipment,” said Rusty Towell, director at the NEXT Lab.
The limited supply of books will also force students to go back to thinking on their own, something younger generations have begun to do less.
“They’re just brainwashed zombies,” Schubert said.
“From cell phones to textbooks they don’t think for themselves the way they used to.”
Fran Grindle, class of 1918, agreed with Schubert,
eye masks and ear protection for anyone affected by the pulsating lights or extreme audio volume.
“So anyone will be able to experience Chapel without seeing or hearing anything.”
The MACC had not logged any Chapel-related injuries for more than three decades until recently. Tyson said occasional dizziness has been reported by some stu-
In addition to the Springer minifigure, the dormitory set will also include seven freshman residents, a bike with rolling wheels and a flag representing Springer’s fraternity, Gamma Sigma Phi.
saying that academics were more independent and rigorous when she was a student.
“Back in my day, I had to make the homework and then do it myself,” Grindle said. “I also had to walk 13 miles uphill to and from class every day. These youngins just aren’t built the same anymore.”
This deal with eCampus may receive some backlash from students at first, but it has already proven successful with a select group of students.
“It definitely makes the classes more difficult, but it makes it more fulfilling knowing that I truly understand the material on my own,” sophomore Austin Nelson said.
This deal is binding until the end of the day as Schubert is 100% confident it will work and be beneficial to the university, and there is no going back.
dents after singing I Said I Wasn’t Gonna Tell Nobody but those issues didn’t rise to a clinical diagnosis.
The last major spike in Chapel-related injuries was in 1983, when the Chapel office still took attendance by taking pictures of each section in Moody. The university that spring implemented a 11 a.m.-sharp deadline for students to be in their assigned seats, and several students were tram-
“We’re super excited to have our flag included in the set,” said club president Mason Hejl. “However, we haven’t finalized what it will look like yet. There’s some disagreement amongst the two parties.”
The alleged disagreement is over the compensation the fraternity would be receiving. GSP wants a piece of the sales from Springer but Springer does not think that is a necessary accommodation.
“It’s just a flag,” Springer said. “The club doesn’t have a deal with Lego, I do.”
Due to the disagreement, the flag will not be displayed on the box and may not be included in the set once production begins. The two parties will have until April 4 to agree on fair compensation or the flag will not be included in the set.
“Not having the flag after all of this controversy would be a shame,” Hejl said. “We want to be able to represent our club through this set and it would be really cool to have a Lego version of our flag.”
I’m
Despite the controversy, the campus bookstore is confident other sets will be released in the future.
“We don’t want one argument to halt the progress we’ve made with Lego,” said Campus Store manager Ty Rogler. “We’ve already got sets for Wildcat Stadium, Bullock Brothers Ballpark and the Bean in the works. If we had to cancel those sets, we would lose a lot of money, and it would just be really disappointing.”
The Wessel Hall set will hit the shelves on April 11, exactly one week after the deadline for the final say on the GSP flag. This comes out at the perfect time for an Easter gift for children of any age, but it is a permanent item on the shelves and not a limited time item. Students will also have the opportunity to have Springer sign the box at his “Press with Prez” event on
pled as crowds clamored to get Chapel credit. Charmin Garcia said she has been among those injured in Chapel this year.
“I was coming in to get my set with my friends, and all of a sudden, the lights went out and, I got disoriented in the smoke, tripped on a step and fell,” Garcia said. “Next thing I knew I was on the floor and everyone around me was stomping to Days of Elijah.”
Since the conclusion of the 2025 pledging process, Robin McPherson and the Greek Life Office have announced the upcoming changes to clubs and their pledging regulations.
“We think they’ve gotten too comfortable and accustomed to the current rules,” McPherson said. “If we continue to change the rules, it will stay entertaining and force clubs to respect our power.”
The office has released the following changes that will be rolled out through the next three pledge classes.
In the spring of 2026, all pledging activities will be referred to as hazing. All former uses of the words “pledging” or “new student orientation” will not be permitted. Additionally in 2026, all hazees must be able to sing The Lord Bless You and
Keep You in all four keys; bass, tenor, alto and soprano and will be judged in front of an audience. Any hazees unable to do so must continue hazing until they are capable of performing said act.
“We think these two changes will make the hazing process more realistic for people outside of clubs,” McPherson said. “Everyone already knows that hazing goes on, despite the anti-hazing materials promoted through clubs. Plus, forcing all of the hazees to learn The Lord Bless You and Keep You in all four parts will create a better worshiping experience in Moody.”
In 2027, hazees will be forced into the newest clubs on campus; Pi Kappa and Zeta Phi Alpha. There will still be rushing events for other clubs, hazees will just be provided limited opportunities to join them.
“We need to increase the number of members in new-
er clubs,” PJ Martinez said.
Pi Kappa is looking for-
ward to this change as they have seen that their founding class is unable to attract new members.
“Our first rush event is playing frisbee in the rain,” Matthew De La Cruz said.
“If it doesn’t rain we’ll just turn the sprinklers on and
have them walk into the shower first.”
Additionally, all hazees will be referred to as “Jake from State farm” rather than their actual name.
“We want the hazees to feel unified,” said Hawke Ratliffe. “If they all have the same name, they’ll feel the same and be unified.”
Finally, in 2028, the term “new member orientation” will replace hazing. All uses of hazing will result in more intense new member orientation processes for new members.
“The newest term will keep things fresh and innovative for clubs and introductees,” McPherson said.
Along with the name change, new members will not be given their first-choice club when they submit their rankings. Rather than getting to pick, they will be randomly shuffled throughout the other options.
“We know they’ll hate us for this,” McPherson said.
“But it will bring them closer together and work out in the long run.”
While the office has not released the 2029 changes officially, it is rumored that club members will haze non-club students to promote equality and level the academic playing field. The plans will be released soon.
Fake News: Trump blames the Bean for missing campus cats
Chaos erupted on campus last week after a surprise stop by President Donald Trump, where he made a shocking claim during his speech in front of Moody.
“They’re eating the dogs, they’re eating the cats,” Trump said while pointing to the bean. “It’s terrible!
Just terrible!”
The ACU Feral Cat Initiative immediately issued a statement denying the accusations.
“We have not, nor will we ever, sell the campus cats to the Bean’s stir-fry station,” said the FCI. “We assure you that all missing cats are safe and totally not in a Bean Burger.”
However, President Trump doubled down.
“It was a big sign, such a big big sign folks,” Trump said. “Mystery Meat Mondays! Only Sleepy Joe
would eat such a thing.”
Naturally, the campus panicked. Longtime bean worker Ms. Gulu said people have come demanding answers.
“Some girl came up crying last night asking, ‘Did I just eat Tom?’”
Meanwhile, campus police raided the kitchen. In a statement issued, they said they found nothing except an unfortunate tofu shipment labeled "Feral Tuna" due to a printing error by the supplier named “Fresh Tuna.”
President Trump remained unconvinced.
“Look, I know cats,” Trump said. “I've had the best cats, three really good ones. After getting rid of the first two, I didn't lose much money, by the way. I decided to start a kitty shelter with a much bigger sign than the Bean's saying 'Grab the cat below.’” ACU has since installed
Officially Mr. and Mrs. ACU: New
Ring by Spring meets Mr. ACU and Miss ACU as this year's honorees will engage in what the office of Student Life expects to be a new cherished tradition an arranged marriage. Each year students elect two senior students a man and a woman – to be named Mr. ACU and Miss ACU as who best represent the university and its core values. The recognized students are known for their character, involvement and service. This is the first year the award will be dedicated to Mr. and Mrs. ACU.
Student Life staff said they want to align the award better with ACU
post-grad expectations.
The two award winners will continue representing their ACU legacies as they live together.
“I got the ring from Wildcat Access,” said Bobby Beavis – this year's most promising Mr. ACU candidate. "They gave me a discount.”
Beavis, senior communication major from Houston, said he is confident in securing the victory.
This year, earnings from the Foundations Entrepreneurship student businesses will fund the wedding budget.
The weekend after graduation, the reception will be in the campus center, and the wedding will take place in the GATA fountain. Student Life said they
tradition greets ACU campus
plan to buy purple flowers and pass them out at the wedding.
“I'm gonna to get hon -
ored and I'm gonna get a girl,” Beavis said. "What more can a guy ask for.” Fuzzy's Tacos offered to
cater at the wedding, and attendees can use bean bucks to eat. The restaurant will provide a build-
“I am so excited I love
said. "I love
and Fuzzy's loves me.”
The top candidate for Mrs. ACU is Candace Flynn, senior environmental science major from Danville, said she was surprised to hear she was nominated.
“Wait that Beavis guy is a freak,” Flynn said. “I lowkey hope I don't get chosen.”
The office of Spiritual Life is currently looking for wedding officiates –they encourage anyone who is interested to apply through Suitable.
Ear splitting fun: CAB hosts campus silent disco
The Campus Activities Board approached this year's silent disco a little differently,
earning the title of the loudest silent disco ever attempted. What started as a fun twist on the traditional silent disco ended with two students hospitalized, angry residents and
pages of police reports.
On Friday, the Campus Center filled with hundreds of students. CAB spent most of this year's budget on huge speakers and earplugs, which
were distributed instead of the typical headphones.
However, the disco took a turn for the worse. Two students mistakenly took their earplugs out and suffered eardrum ruptures, but their screams of pain were washed out by the loud music.
“I just wanted to be fully immersed in ‘Bohemian Rhapsody,’” said Earl Drumet, a junior marketing major from Fort Worth. “My friend and I thought we’d be fine if it was just for one song.”
Drumet was sadly mistaken, though. He and his friend, Amy Stake, a senior nursing major from Abilene, instantly put the earplugs back in and crawled their way toward campus police.
Luckily for them, ACUPD had just arrived because of noise complaints from nearby residents.
“The only reason it was called
‘silent’ was because they couldn’t hear themselves,” said Chief of Police Mason Elvis. “But trust me, everyone else did.”
Despite the event being organized by CAB, ACUPD decided it would be best to shut it down. When officers arrived to break up the gathering, they struggled to communicate with students wearing earplugs.
“We tried flashing the lights and waving our arms,” Officer Elvis said, “but they just thought it was part of the show.” Eventually, students were ushered out, and Drumet and Stake were taken to the emergency room.
“I knew the second we reached the part in ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ that says 'Galileo' a bunch, that my right eardrum was messed up,” Stake said. “But that part slaps so hard, it was worth it.”
Despite the problems,
some students enjoyed the event and appreciated the change. Al Beback, junior computer science major from Las Vegas, yelled that he doesn't get out much, so it was the most fun he ever had.
“What better way to spend a Friday than by screaming to ‘Don’t Stop Believin’ at the top of your lungs with 500 of your closest friends?” Beback said.
On Wednesday, the Medical and Counseling Care Center will have post-event voice therapy sessions available to all students.
CAB has promised to “rethink” future silent disco themes, but organizers are already planning next month’s event: Invisible Rave - The Party You Can’t See. The blindfolds have already been ordered.
Financial adviser makes budget cuts across campus
After Elon Musk's recent layoffs, budget cuts and innovations throughout his companies and the federal government, Dr. Phil
Schubert, president of the university and the Board of Trustees reached out to Musk for financial advising.
To relieve the pressure created by decreasing electric vehicle demand, Musk called for job and budget
cuts. For DOGE Coin, people speculate Musk will incorporate the currency into his company, X.
“Elon’s advising will benefit the university and its future,” Schubert said. “Unfortunately that does mean
there will be lots of changes coming.”
First, the old Mabee Hall building will be repurposed as a new dining hall. For time purposes, the hall will not undergo any further construction.
“The health inspectors don't know what they're talking about,” said project manager Schil Philbert. “The dorm is in perfect condition, and is fit to serve students the highest quality food.”
The new dining hall will be named The World Famous Anthony-Bullock-Mabee-Onstead Bean. The second Bean is expected to help with the post-Chapel Bean rush.
The laundry room washing machines will be used for dishwashing.
After a long list of complaints surrounding the increase in fire alarm evacuations, facilities said they would remove all the alarms from freshmen dorms. From cookie dough to curling irons to candles, students have been forced to vacate their rooms for a number of reasons. At any hour of the day. Addressing the complaints is an investment as it will bring dorm ratings up.
“Removing the fire alarms will actually save us money and time,” RA Sally Smith
said. “I heard they're gonna hire designated fire alertees whose job is to scream if they see smoke.” Additionally, unlike before hot water will now be available for a small upcharge. Students who wish to have hot water should contact their residence directors for further payment instructions.
Musk also has worked with officials at the NEXT Lab to create revenue-generating opportunities. NEXT is scheduled to generate power through its molten salt reactor, and that electricity will be used to power a huge Tesla charging station that will replace the old Taylor Elementary south of campus. The revenue saved from financial advising done by Musk will be funneled back into the university's fan favorite Limited Access program and Banner updates.
“Given that the textbooks received such amazing reviews this year,” Schubert said, “The organization deserves a bonus.”
signs outside the bean, reassuring students that "No Cats Were Harmed in the Making of This Food." Meanwhile, President Schubert offered
Trump a free meal at the Bean to prove its integrity. Trump declined.
“I only eat at places with golden arches, but I’ll come get a Diet Coke.”
your-own taco line.
Jimmy Dean is a junior history major from Allen. Dean said he heard about the Fuzzy's catering.
Fuzzy's," Dean
Fuzzy's
BY ACU JR.
RING BY SPRING REPORTER
BY DJ SILENTO
BY MEGHAN MARKLE | RAVE REPORTER JBL hangs over students enjoying campus rave.
BY MEGHAN MARKLE | PHOTOGRAPHER
Mr. ACU proposes to Miss ACU at GATA fountain.
BY JEFFREY GOLDBERG | CNN Trump protests eating campus cats.
BY JOHN DOE | PHOTOGRAPHER WHO HASN'T MET A SINGLE DEADLINE Musk proposes changes to NEXT Lab.
ACU athletics to move ‘Touchdown Jesus’ to stadium
After the departure of key offensive players on the ACU football team, the derpartment of athletics has decided to move the “touchdown Jesus” statue from the Lunsford trail to the football field.
The team went 9-5 last season and won the United Athletic Conference and a first-round playoff game. But the team will be without key players, Maverick Mcivor, Jerry Lawson and David Oke who entered the transfer portal and Sam Hicks, Nehemiah Martinez and Blayne Taylor declaring for the NFL draft. The Wildcats will have to find a way to replace the scoring and de-
Fuzzy’s
After signing NIL deals with Fuzzy’s Taco, Wildcat quarterback Maverick McIvor and guard Dontrez Williams both entered the transfer portal.
“It was an easy decision,” McIvor said. “Football is great, but have you ever had one of these things?” Williams was just as fired up about the tacos.
“I watched film, I studied my options, and I realized the transfer portal has way more
After receiving support from campus fraternity Sub T-16 this men’s basketball season, Head Coach Brette Tanner has received a bid from the club to join.
Tanner celebrated with the club members after each win this season. He said he plans to accept the bid and begin the pledging process.
Founded in 1923 Sub T-16 is one of the oldest social clubs on campus. The rich traditions and a strong brotherhood stood out to Tanner.
“The decision to pledge Sub T was easy after seeing the traditions and brotherhood,” Tanner said. “These guys really know how to have a good time and that’s something that I can appreciate.”
He said that he hopes that his coaching activities will not
fense these players bring.
To help the team Athletics decided to move “Touchdown Jesus” to the endzone to help the team on offense and defense.
“It’s going to help us a lot this upcoming season on both sides of the ball,” Head Coach Keith Patterson said. “We had some key guys leave our team this offseason but with the ‘Touchdown Jesus’ addition we should be even better.”
“Touchdown Jesus” will also travel with the team during away games to ensure the team performs well on the road.
Zack Lassiter, vice president of athletics, was one of the main voices in the decision-making process. Lassiter was a big advocate for making the move happen. One of the
Fuzzy’s locations than Abilene does,” Williams said.
When asked where he was considering going next year, Williams smirked.
“TCU’s got one,” Williams said. “Texas Tech’s got one. Maybe I’ll take my talents to a Power Five Fuzzy’s program.”
However, ACU coaches were blindsided. Word on the street is that head football coach Keith Patterson tried to get the big fellow to stay with some incentives.
“We promised a queso fountain in the locker room,
main reasons he advocated for the move was his not wanting to see the team struggle to win games like in the past seasons.
“In the past, this team has struggled to get wins so the addition of ‘touchdown Jesus’ to the field I hope to see next season’s team do even better than this year,” Lassiter said. “After seeing our key players from last season leave I knew we had to do something.”
He said the players on the team have been all on board with the decision and that there has been no negative feedback from them.
“Whatever we can do to win games is all that matters to me,” Will Shaffer, redshirt senior linebacker from Tempe, Arizona said.
unlimited guacamole barrels, and a ‘Taco Tuesday’ practice exemption,” Patterson said. “They didn’t even blink.”
That wasn’t enough for McIvor.
“People ask me, ‘Why leave ACU?’ And I say, ‘Find me a championship team that doesn’t have multiple Fuzzy’s within a five-mile radius.’ It’s just science, man.”
And now, ACU fans are bracing for more potential heartbreak.
Star pitcher Brett Lanman just inked in his own Fuzzy’s
NIL deal, reportedly earning 10 tacos per strikeout.
With rising student protests chanting the slogan “Don’t Let Tacos Take Our Talent,” ACU administration is considering replacing Chick-fil-A with an on-campus Fuzzy’s, causing a whole additional controversy.
However, nothing is set in stone. And if this trend continues, ACU athletics might not survive.
The Wildcats aren’t being out-recruited—they’re being out-taco’d.
coach to pledge Sub T-16
get in the way of him participating in club activities. One of the traditions Tanner said he is excited about is participating in the club’s Sing-Song act and yelling, “Scoreboard!” He is worried about the tradition of pledges having to swallow one of Delta Theta’s goldfish.
Tanner believes his being in the fraternity will positively benefit his relationship with the team especially Jack Sawyer, freshman forward from Aledo, who joined Sub T’s most recent pledge class.
“Sub T truly is the best fraternity on campus,” Sawyer said.
“Having Coach Tanner join the fraternity will be a great for the bond between us. He’s a guy who knows to have fun just like the rest of the Subbers.”
Along with the traditions of Sub T, they keep a goat. In recent years the club has had trouble keeping track of the goat with an anonymous club taking the goat.
“No one is taking the goat with me around,” Tanner said. “If they want that goat then they’re going to have to go through me. It doesn’t matter if it’s a Moonie, Gamma or Frat they’re not taking that goat.”
In honor of the Sub T’s Skipper, Creek Churchill, Tanner will now wear a crooked hat on the sidelines.
“I believe that Brette is going to be a great addition to the Subber family,” Churchill said. “Brette is the type of guy that everyone should strive to be.”
PHOTO COURTESY OF ACUTV BROADCAST
Touchdown Jesus watches ACU Football player run into endzone.
BY RIVER LANDFILL
Head Coach Brette Tanner wears Sub T-16 while coaching.
PHOTO COURTESY OF FUZZY’S TACO SHOP
Maverick McIvor and Dontrez Williams run into Fuzzy’s portal. BY