JOURNAL
COMING-OF-AGE Photographs and stories from teens to life-long learners
Funded by a grant through the World Religion Foundation
JOURNAL
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Regardless of how one marks this transition, each one of us, at some point, walks out of childhood and into adulthood. How this coming-of-age experience happens is limitless. - Marcy L. Paul, PhD
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COMING-OF-AGE Photographs and stories from teens to life-long learners In 2019 the Jewish Community Relations Council (JCRC) of the Jewish Federation of Greater Dayton received a grant from the World Religion Foundation. The goal of the project was to bring teens and young adults of different faith backgrounds together to learn about their similarities of life experiences and understand the differences in how each person lives in this world. Coming-of-Age: An Interfaith Dialogue Through the Lens of Youth engaged teens and young adults in creatively exploring their religions’ traditions and rituals that mark the transition from childhood to adolescence to adulthood. Defining coming-of-age includes religious rituals, family traditions, perspectives, and other personal or communal experiences. Regardless of how one marks this transition, each one of us, at some point, walks out of childhood and into adulthood. How this coming-of-age experience happens is limitless.
Recruitment for this project began with teens and young adults from Dayton, Ohio; San Antonio, Texas; Western Galilee, Israel; and Budapest, Hungary. During the recruitment process, two other groups formed. Life-long learners, involved in the Interfaith Forum of Greater Dayton assisting in the recruitment of teens and young adults, began talking about their coming-of-age experiences and decided that they, too, wanted to participate. Another group of participants were university students from the University of Nebraska, Omaha; Western Galilee College in Akko, Israel; and the Budapest University of Jewish Studies, Hungary. Using a method called PhotoVoice* engages the participants to collaboratively address specific social issues. Photographs and short narratives capture and represent unique perspectives providing opportunity to learn about community (Wang and Burris, 1997). The process is multidimensional. First a group is brought together to address an issue.
During this first meeting an introduction to the PhotoVoice method is discussed, basic photographic skills are taught, expectations of short narrative writing are addressed, and the question, “What was your coming-of-age experience?” is posed. During subsequent meetings, participants bring in their photographs and short narrative responses to share and discuss with each other. During the last group meeting, participants determine their final photograph and narrative that they feel best reflects their answer to “What was your coming-ofage experience?” The final individual PhotoVoice projects become part of a collective community exhibit. Social change occurs when communities come together, build relationships, and learn from each other. A community exhibit of Coming-of-Age: Photographs and stories from teens to life-long learners provides a space to engage with others while learning about the similarities and differences in our lives.
*Capitalizing the P and V in PhotoVoice highlights the image and narrative as sharing equal space in meaning. The photograph and the written narrative are inclusive of each other (Paul, 2018). 3
Teens and Young Adults Teens and young adults from Dayton, Ohio; San Antonio, Texas; the Western Galilee, Israel; and Budapest, Hungary came together several times over Zoom to learn and dialogue about their coming-of-age experiences. They took photographs and wrote about their experiences, and shared them in discussion with each other. With each meeting, participants recognized ways in which their experiences were similar and unique to their own lived lives.
Alyssa Martinez Brinnley Layton Brooke Layton Eszter Krauth Haley Cole
Jake Paustian Julcsi Sós Kyah Larue Cleveland Lizzy Nikkels Lucas Riley Paustian
Nivi Buchris Ori Malki Szonja Bán
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There I was, ready to change who I had been and devote myself to something new. For an instant, the water no longer seemed cold and I felt safer than I have ever been. I always dreamed and waited for the day that I would get baptized. This was that moment. The moment I was ready to see the world as I should. To consecrate myself to people and my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. This meant I was to be reborn spiritually through Christ. It was finally my coming-of-age. It was my testimony to share today and everyday of my life. Who we are and who we hope to be can change in an instant. Our coming-of-age story is what we make it to be.
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Alyssa Martinez San Antonio, Texas, USA PHOTOVOICE • TEENS & YOUNG ADULTS
5
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Coming-of-age is a journey with many steps. Some are small and go unnoticed, while others are large and dramatic. One of the first big steps on my journey was the freedom of driving. With car keys on my lanyard, I can drive to school, to work, or to a friend’s house. Now with my key lanyard hanging from my pocket, I am ready to continue my journey. My next step came as I donned the uniform scrubs of the Warren County Career Center and started my training to be a professional cosmetologist. Taking my education and future career into my own hands was another step on my coming-of-age journey. Wearing uniform scrubs and with the tools of my future trade in my pocket, I am ready to continue my journey. The steps that come next are ones I have yet to take, yet symbols of these future steps are with me. Close to my heart is a small tag. This ‘future missionary’ tag shows my hope to go on an 18-month mission for my church to preach the gospel, where I will wear a name tag similar to the one I have now. Along with the tag, I have an old BYU hat in hopes to attend Brigham Young University. With these emblems of hope for the future, I am ready to continue my journey. And now here I am, with stories and symbols of how far I have come, yet many more steps left on this path. Ahead of me is a wonderful journey, my coming-of-age.
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Brinnley Layton Dayton, Ohio, USA 6
COMING-OF-AGE
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My coming-of-age story is a journey, a journey that I am still on. My journey began when I turned sixteen. I got my license and learned to drive. Being able to drive opened a lot of opportunities for me. I felt more like an adult. Another part of my coming-of-age story is when I graduated high school and my diploma represents this achievement. Graduating high school ended one stage of my life and began a new one--college and my first official job. I began working at Chick-fil-a and the face mask and name tag are an important part of my becoming an adult. The next part of my coming-of-age story is going on a mission for my church for a year and a half. I am a future missionary and this is the next part of my coming-of-age journey.
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Brooke Layton Dayton, Ohio, USA PHOTOVOICE • TEENS & YOUNG ADULTS
7
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Amikor arra a pillanatra gondolok, mikor gyerekből felnőtté váltam, mindig csak egy dolgot látok a szemem előtt. Ez pedig a felnőtté válásom, azaz a BátMicvám története. Amióta megszülettem a nagypapám (aki egy rabbi) arra gyűjtött, hogy egyszer, mikor betöltöm a 12-t akkor elmehessünk Izraelbe a siratófalhoz. Ez volt életem első utazása Izraelbe, és egyben Európán kívül is.
ugyanannyit nevettem, és sírtam. Mégis valami megváltozott bennem. Nem úgy lettem felnőtt, hogy felelősségteljes lettem (az talán sohasem leszek), vagy betöltöttem a 18 évet, hanem, hogy eltöltöttem 5 napot a családommal a hit városában, és megőriztem a nyakláncot.
A mi családunk híres arról, hogy semmit sem csinálunk úgy ahogy kéne, inkább úgy, ahogy mi helyesnek gondoljuk. Ott is ez történt, hiszen nem mentünk zsinagógába, nem olvastam a tórából, nem is mondtam beszédet, és hogy őszinte legyek még be sem töltöttem a 12-t. Annyi történt, hogy a nagypapám megáldott a siratófal előtt és mondott egy beszédet, de varázslatos volt. Nem is lehetett volna ennél varázslatosabb. A szüleim átnyújtottak nekem egy nyakláncot. A nyakláncot. A nevem van rajta héberül, aranyból. Ezzel a szöveggel kísérték: Csak egyszer van Bát-Micvád, amire csak egyszer kapsz ajándékot. Ezt a nyakláncot örökre meg kell védened, és nem vesztheted el.
Whenever I think about the moment I became an adult, only one memory comes into my mind. That memory is the story of my Bat Mitzvah. Since I was born, my grandpa, who is a rabbi, had been saving money for the moment I became a 12-year-old. He took me and my family to Israel. That was the first time I was in Israel. Furthermore, it was the first time I left Europe.
Pár nap múlva bementem az iskolába. Ugyanaz a 11 éves gyerek voltam, mint aki előtte, ugyanazokat a meggondolatlanságokat követtem el,
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My family is famous for not doing anything the way we should, instead we do everything how we think is right. The same happened there, since we didn’t celebrate in a synagogue, I didn’t read anything from the Torah, I didn’t give a speech, and to be honest I wasn’t even 12 yet. We just stood near the Western Wall, my grandpa blessed me, and he gave a speech, I wasn’t really doing
anything, yet it was magical. It could not have been more magical. Then my parents gave me a necklace. The necklace. My name is written on it in Hebrew, and it’s made out of gold. They said that I only have one Bat Mitzvah in a lifetime, therefore I only get a present once. ‘You must protect this necklace at all costs.’ Later, when I went to school, I was the same 11 years old, who made the same mistakes. I laughed and cried just like I did before. But something changed. I did not become an adult by becoming responsible (I probably never will be), or by becoming 18 years old. I spent five days with my family in the city of fate, and I protected my necklace.
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Eszter Krauth Budapest, Hungary COMING-OF-AGE
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What does it mean to come of age? Well, for me, it meant understanding how I see the world. It also meant forming a stronger connection with my spiritual side. I made the decision to convert to Judaism when I was 16. Now, almost a year and a half later, I have felt more whole than ever. Growing up, I struggled with my self-image and constantly blamed myself for things beyond my control. I spent the days I should have been playing on the swings with my friends being crippled by an anxiousness that consumed my body. There was always someone I turned to, G-d. After years of searching for a way to connect with G-d, even a suicide attempt, I found the answer to my prayers. The moment I decided to live a Jewish life, is the moment I began to grow and heal. Judaism saved my life and will forever be my coming-of-age story.
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Haley Cole Dayton, Ohio, USA PHOTOVOICE • TEENS & YOUNG ADULTS
9
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My coming-of-age story begins with an email. My freshman geography teacher wondered if I would like to join him on a service trip to the beautiful country of Peru. After a surprisingly fast conversation with my parents, it was an obvious, yes. After arriving in Peru, we did what every tourist does. We visited the city of Lima, saw the beaches, and then moved on to Machu Picchu. Although these locations were beautiful, they were not the focus of this trip. After our visit to Machu Picchu, our service began. For the next four days we helped to construct, paint, and finish dormitories for young students who had long commutes to go to school. These students often had to travel more than six hours to the nearest school, and as a result did not have a place to stay to pursue their education. This trip was life
changing for me. Not only was it my first time out of the country alone, without my family, but my first time participating in a large-scale service project. Following this trip, I felt a shift in my life. I found that I thoroughly enjoyed helping others. I liked knowing that I was making a difference. I had always participated in community service, but this was the first time I felt like what I was doing was going to have a big
impact and change lives. This newfound joy helped propel me forward onto my current path, and lead to my desired career. I want to go into a medical pathway to not just change lives but to save them. That trip to Peru changed my life.
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Jake Paustian San Antonio, Texas, USA 10
COMING-OF-AGE
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The path to adulthood is a long process. Many of us have already thought about the question ‘why and when someone counts as an adult’, ‘when they turn 18 and can vote’, ‘when they become a full member of the community’, ‘when they graduate’, or ‘when they move out of their parents’ home’. In my opinion becoming an adult does not start at a given moment of age. We are constantly growing and developing like this tomato seedling. It needs daily attention, care, and love. On our way, we have to pay attention to our environment and to take responsibility for others and ourselves.
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Julcsi Sós Budapest, Hungary PHOTOVOICE • TEENS & YOUNG ADULTS
11
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In my image I am sitting in one of my classes and I have a Chromebook showing a lot of squares symbolizing all the classes I take, which is a lot. You can also see my arm as well and see the rings and some of my sweater and jacket and that symbolizes taking pride in how I present myself to others. This is more important to me as I get older. My coming-of-age story is taking on more responsibility for my life. In school I am building a professional career and my coming-of-age will take my career to a new level. Everything from now on is about achievement, success, and what I can do next.
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Kyah Larue Cleveland San Antonio, Texas, USA
12
COMING-OF-AGE
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I am currently writing a book. Purity Vargas is the main character. Her and her friends are constantly getting attacked by demons and whatnot, but they are still expected to do things like turning in English papers and go to their jobs. The story shows how even though they [the characters] have all this other stuff they are doing; they still have responsibilities and things they have to get done.
In the real world, obviously, people don’t get attacked by demons but when you are an adult the world doesn’t care what is going on in your personal life. It doesn’t matter if your car just broke down, you are still expected to show up at your job and do your job well. No matter the outside drama you are dealing with you still have responsibilities and things you have to get done.
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Lizzy Nikkels San Antonio, Texas, USA PHOTOVOICE • TEENS & YOUNG ADULTS
13
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My coming-of-age story is in this photo I took from the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris. This trip was chaperoned by some of my middle school teachers, as a part of Summer of Service, San Antonio (SOS). This was the first time I had been out of the country, or even gone on a trip without my parents. Before going on this trip, I had to exchange US dollars for Pounds and Euros. I enjoyed being able to be on my own with a group of friends. I think that this shows my coming-of-age because being on your own without parental guidance can make you more mature.
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Lucas Riley Paustian San Antonio, Texas, USA 14
COMING-OF-AGE
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The reflection of the trees by the lake symbolizes a certain mirror, a visuality and a search of personal identity. The duality of the photo reflects the profound way that I internally view myself, which is more small and more intimate. There is also the external view from people who reflect the way they see me, from a different perspective or vision that we see through the camera that presents a whole controversial narrative and a different point of view. The term ‘Coming-of-Age’ for me is going through events that involve a certain conflict and resolution, many ups and downs, standing through struggles, pressures that therefore helped me as a human being realize the person I have become today and a transition of reaching a point where we are no longer children, but adults. It is certainly
a time of coming into conclusion of questioning ‘Who Am I’? It is certainly different for everyone based on their own experiences and depends on what people learn from their past and significant events that have genuinely made them go through changes in some stages in their life. All the stages we experience in life changes every second, our decisions and circumstances are taking us in an infinite number of directions, moment by moment, and have a major impact on our identity. I define every person’s destiny as the middle of a process of learning and working on ourselves. This is what defines us as people--developing ourselves and then actually identifying our character. ‘Coming-of-Age’ seems to me as the progress that people overcome due to certain events in their lives.
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Nivi Buchris Western Galilee, Israel PHOTOVOICE • TEENS & YOUNG ADULTS
15
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:סיפור ההתבגרות שלי, 1 תמונה מס׳ שעדיין מתפתח לכיוונים שונים, בתמונה החלטתי להשתמש בדימוי של העץ הקטן כבן אדם שאני ובהוספת הבגדים הזרוקים והנעליים רציתי לחבר את ׳השלד׳ הטהור של העץ,בצורות שונות עם הבגדים והנעליים שבסופו של, למצוא את עצמי,לחיצוניות שאיתה אני מנסה לבטא את עצמי התמונה. אבל איכשהו עדיין חלק,דבר מנותקים מהתהליך האמיתי שאני עוברת בהתבגרות שלי כדי לנסות לתת גם מהעולם שלי בתמונה,צולמה בגג ביתי בפלורנטין בתא.
The image of the little tree represents the human being I am, still evolving in different ways in different directions. By adding the green clothes and shoes, I wanted to connect the pure skeleton of the tree to the outside layers with which I’m trying to express myself, to find myself. The clothes and shoes are not essential parts from the real process that I’m going through in my adolescence, but somehow are still part of it. The picture was taken on the roof of my home in Florentin, Tel Aviv, trying to give away some of my world in this picture as well.
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: מי אני,2 תמונה מס׳ אני מרגישה שהדימוי של העץ יכול לתאר, בתמונה החלטתי להשתמש שוב במוטיב החוזר של העץ ובאופן אישי גם אותי את,התהליכים שכל אדם עובר והצמיחה שלו. ותוך כדי בלגן ולא הרבה סדר והמון,יש המון שלווה בתמונה שמתארת אותי . כמו הענפים של העץ שמסודרים בפראיות,כיוונים שונים שאני הולכת אליהם אני מרגישה שהתמונה יכולה לתאר את העולם הפנימי שלי.
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In this picture, I decided to use the motif of another tree. I feel that the image of the tree describes the processes that each person goes through, and their growth, and especially me. There is a lot of peace in the picture that describes me; the chaos and the lack of order and the different directions that I go, just like the branches of the tree that are arranged wildly. I feel like the picture describes my inner world.
Ori Malki אורי מלכי Tel Aviv, Israel 16
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COMING-OF-AGE
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I thought creating a timeline of sorts would portray my coming-ofage story quite well. At the left is a small beady bracelet representing the kind of friendship bracelets we used to make as a child. Then, you can see an earphone, showing when I received my first phone, and was constantly listening to music. That was the first time I felt like a cool teenager. The next item on my ‘timeline’ is a cup of Starbucks coffee. When I was a preteen, I thought the social standard for a teen was to drink Starbucks, that’s what teens did in big American movies. Then comes some special
PHOTOVOICE • TEENS & YOUNG ADULTS
earrings, which are from an anime. This was the first gore/horror show I watched, so it was a pretty big deal for me. I put a tampon next, representing the biological event of a girl becoming a woman. The last item on my little timeline is The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown. This was the first book I read that was written for adults. My hair was a last-minute decision to add, I just thought the timeline would look more aesthetically pleasing that way, and I think it does! I hope I’ll be able to add some more items to this timeline soon, because my coming-of-age story has not quite come to an end.
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Arra gondoltam, hogy kialakítok egy idővonal szerűséget, ami majd jelképezi a nagykorúvá válásomat. A bal oldalon alul láthatnak egy kis gyöngy karkötőt, ami a kis barátságkarkötőket jelképezi amit oviban csináltunk. Mellette van egy fülhallgató, ami azt mutatja, hogy folyton zenét hallgattam elemiben, menő tininek gondolva magam. A következő tárgy az “idővonalamon” egy Starbucks-os kávé. Amikor 11-12 éves voltam, kamaszkor előtt álló gyerek, úgy gondoltam vagánykan számítok, ha Starbucks-ot iszok, mert azt csinálták a nagy amerikai filmekben. Utána egy különleges fülbevalót láthatnak, ami egy japán animációs sorozatból származik. Ez volt az első horror amit néztem, és ez egy eléggé nagy dolognak számított nekem. Mellettte egy tampon helyeztem el, ami a biológiai nővé válást szimbolizálja. A legutolsó dolog az idővonalon egy könyv Dan Brown írótól, A Da Vinci kód. Ez volt az első felnőtt könyv amit olvastam. A hajat csakis esztétika miatt tettem bele a képbe, gondolva, hogy szebb lesz tőle a kép, és szerintem szebb is lett. Remélem több dolgot is hozzá tudok adni az idővonalamhoz, hiszen a nagykorúvá válásom még nem ért véget.
Szonja Bán Budapest, Hungary 17
University Students Building friendships and community between Akko and Mateh Asher Regional Council in the Western Galilee, Budapest, Hungary, and 16 U.S. Cities is what the Partnership2Gether (P2G) Consortium of the Jewish Agency of Israel is all about. Students and faculty from three participating communities: the University of Nebraska, Omaha; Budapest University of Jewish Studies, Hungary; and the Western Galilee College in Akko, Israel studied together in a semester-long course on multiculturalism. Through lectures, discussions, and projects, the participating students looked at multiculturalism through the lens of photography. The “What is Your Coming-of-Age experience?” was one of the projects for the course.
Ben Biton Chen Steinman Georgina Racz Kfir Zibari
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Kristy McGuire Lajos Harsány Leeron Ben Tzion Micah Dunwoody
Sawyer Stender Tristan Newman
COMING-OF-AGE
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For me, ‘coming-of-age’ means fight and hope. The spirit to keep on being who you are even when you find yourself overwhelmed by other people’s desire and opinion. My picture captures the moment in life when you feel like you are barely holding your head above the water, when you are about to give up. This moment, just before you give up can light up a spark that can be seen in your eyes, the will to keep the fight and be the person you want to be. This picture was taken in the ‘Acre prison’ which became the ‘Underground Prisoners Museum’ for the ‘Mahtarot’, the Israeli underground resistant groups. This picture and the place where it was taken is a symbol of defiance and the will to keep living and fight for a better future.
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PHOTOVOICE • UNIVERSITY STUDENTS
יליבשב, הווקתו המיחל איה ”תורגבתה“ הלימה תועמשמ. ךישמהל חוכה לש תונוצרו תועדב ףקומ ךמצע תא אצומ התא רשאכ םג התאש ימ תויהל םירחא םישנא. ץמאתמ התא וב םייחב עגרה תא סופתל יתיסינ וז הנומתב םימה לעמ שארה תא קיזחהל חילצמ ישוקבו, םירמ התאש ינפל עגרה םידי. הזה עגרה, ענכנ התאש ינפל שממ, ץוצינ קילדהל לוכיש עגרה הז םייניעב טבמב תוארל ןתינש. תויהל ידכ םחליהל ןוצרה לע דיעמש ץוצינ תויהל הצור התאש םדאה. וכע אלכב המלוצ וזה הנומתה, ןואיזומל ךפהש תורתחמה יריסא. תורתחמה ןמ םיריסא םתוא לע רבעש תא גיצמש ןואיזומ ל”צאה תמגודכ תוירבה, י”חלהו הנגהה. איה וב םוקמה םגו הנומתה םג תודגנתה םילמסמ המלוצ. םחליהל ךישמהלו תויחל איה התרטמש תודגנתה רתוי בוט דיתע ןעמל
Ben Biton Western Galilee College, Israel 19
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My car at the beach illustrates my coming-of-age. The reason I chose my car is that it is the expression of independence in my life. Having my own car gives me the ability to go wherever I want, whenever I want. Ever since I was a child and teenager, I always tried to do everything on my own and be as independent as I could, in all aspects, going places, getting around, buying my own things, and much more. I chose the beach because the sea represents freedom. The open space, never ending horizon, relaxing vibes of the waves. The combination of independence and freedom is my coming-of-age experience.
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Chen Steinman Western Galilee College, Israel 20
COMING-OF-AGE
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I learned a lot from all the students and all the teachers. I will never forget you. My photograph is difficult. I think the night is so hard. I think it is easier when we become adults to set-off at night without fears, and the light of hope toward a safe path.
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Georgina Racz Budapest University of Jewish Studies, Hungary PHOTOVOICE • UNIVERSITY STUDENTS
21
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Growing pains. The bearded person in this portrait is me. The picture of the boy on the wall behind me was taken at my Bar Mitzvah party. The picture has been hanging on my parents’ bedroom wall for a very long time, and it moves me each time I stumble into their room because it reminds me of my youth that has gone. For good or bad, and despite the differences and changes, I still have a lot in common with the young man in the picture.
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.כאבי גדילה
התמונה של הילד על הקיר מאחורי צולמה במסיבת הילד הזה הוא אני.בר המצווה שלי. התמונה תלויה על קיר חדר השינה של הורי כבר ובכל פעם שאני נקלע לחדרם היא,הרבה שנים מזכירה לי את הנעורים שחלפו.
Kfir Zibari Western Galilee College, Israel 22
COMING-OF-AGE
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Coming-of-age can mean a lot of things, but to me, it is self-care. As someone who has struggled with their physical and mental health, transitioning into adulthood felt overwhelming. I had to learn how to advocate for my well-being, and part of that was understanding how to ask for help. Having to take a lot of different medications multiple times a day is a difficult thing to accept as a young person. I associated it with being old, and it made me feel disassociated from my generation. This only added to the selfhatred I already struggled with. Becoming an adult was learning how to accept, love, and care for myself. In this photo, the medication is a mood stabilizer I take for my bipolar disorder. When not medicated, this disorder causes my mood to toggle between states of mania and deep depression. Planted in the medication is a flower, which represents my own growth in learning to care for and accept myself fully. The flower has died and dried out but is still beautiful; this symbolizes finding beauty in the aspects of myself I once considered ugly.
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Kristy McGuire University of Nebraska, USA PHOTOVOICE • UNIVERSITY STUDENTS
23
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The forbearers of my city came on horseback, to the call of King Béla IV of Hungary to protect and grow this part of the country. Today we ride motorcycles as the sons of those people. The responsibility is the same, only the vehicles have changed. Coming-of-age means you understand the responsibility in life and society. I am very engaged to preserve and maintain traditions of small towns and communities as I feel the liability of how much our forbearers fought for the world, for us, to be able to live a life at this level we live today.
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Lajos Harsány Budapest University of Jewish Studies, Hungary 24
COMING-OF-AGE
I come from a broken home and I was cut in half. At school everything was going very well with friends and sports but every day when school ended and I went home, I needed to grow up fast and step in the ‘man of the house’ shoes. At the age of 16 I found myself failing at school because I concentrated too much at being popular and at home being the ‘man of the house’. When I finished my three-year service in the Israeli army as a combat soldier I found myself alone with no more ‘popular title’, no education, and my broken family was the cherry on the top.
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Love and Education “The picture’s meaning is to show first impression in two main aspects. Education and Love. First, I chose objects that show the word LOVE and a BOOK. Second, the photograph represents the importance of education that came to me only after I met my partner.
I was born in the USA and at the age of 10 my family moved to Israel. The move was a life changer for me. In the USA I was an ordinary child, after we moved I became an aggressive kid. I got picked on all the time because my Hebrew was bad and I was generally different. This action did not constrain me from trying to have friends and be ‘popular’. I succeeded. At the age of 14 (4 years after we moved from U.S. to Israel), I was the most popular kid at school, but that ‘popular title’ for me was just a mask.
In 2015 I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease and this was the lowest part of my life! I was 21 years old. Later that year I met my partner--the light at the end of the tunnel! She made me understand how unimportant it is to be popular. Fast forward to today, 2021, six years after I met my partner, and I am in my last year of my first college degree and we have the best friendship and relationship.
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Leeron Ben Tzion Western Galilee College, Israel PHOTOVOICE • UNIVERSITY STUDENTS
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The picture portrays an English translation of the Dao De Ching with me in the background. This picture represents my coming-of-age spiritually. It is inappropriate to label oneself as spiritual because that is egoistic, but that seems to be the best way to put it. The picture represents when I discovered this book in 12th grade. I had been an agnostic in suffering for two years. The Dao De Ching led me on my road of surrender. It still leads and helps. A lot of people do not think about coming-of-age spiritually. Whenever you do it, whether young or old, it is profound.
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Micah Dunwoody University of Nebraska, USA
COMING-OF-AGE
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I am from a small Nebraska town outside of Omaha from a conservative family. Growing up I always felt pressure from my family to be what they wanted me to be which was a wife and a mom. I think a lot of women where I come from feel this same pressure. My grandmother got married at the age of 17, before she could even get her high school degree. My mom married my dad at 19 after dating him since she was 14. I followed along for the most part always prioritizing whatever boy was in my life over myself and telling myself that my grandma’s dream of becoming a nurse was my own dream. Everything changed in 2015 when my whole life came crashing down around me after my dad died. Most people would consider this the worst thing to ever happen to them but the brokenness I felt from losing my dad only helped me find my true self. My dad was the person I was closest to, the one who always trusted and believed in me. When he died, I started to realize that he himself didn’t get the chance to achieve his own dreams. Realizing that life was far too short I started to make drastic changes that only prioritized myself. I dyed my hair bright purple, got my first passport, escaped from a toxic relationship I had been in for over 3 years, and took a break from college. With each decision I made I got more and more backlash from my family and community. My road to independence, self-acceptance, and joy has not always been easy but I would not trade it for the world. In my photo the dead roses in murky water represent the pain and struggle from losing my dad. The passport represents my freedom and independence and living my true authentic life despite my family’s warnings about traveling alone as a woman. The lamp was a lamp that my dad had thrifted and signifies the comfort of knowing he is always with me and cheering me on as I chase my dreams.
PHOTOVOICE • UNIVERSITY STUDENTS
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Sawyer Stender University of Nebraska, USA
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I was not always attached to my Jewish identity. Most people who know me now would find that hard to believe. However, those who have watched my life progress can recall the old me. The part of me I left behind. As the bottom of the stack of books illustrates, I used to have my priorities set for law school. In high school, I was the captain of fantastic Debate and Mock Trial teams that provoked me to ask deep philosophical questions about people and purpose. Everyone thought I was going to be a lawyer. I thought so too. What I soon realized, was that those questions expanded beyond the world of the law. The books represent my journey towards the enlightenment I experienced in the unlocking of my latent Jewish identity. From Robert Putnam’s Bowling Alone to Siddur Sim Shalom, my passion and fulfillment grew through the process of incorporating Jewish identity and ultimately Judaism into my life. Once my journey expanded beyond mere culture and moved towards religious practice, I found that the flame in my soul–the one I tried to fuel as an aspiring attorney–began to shine bigger and brighter than before. Lurking behind the flame are Shabbat candles. Embracing them fostered the goal Jews have once Shabbat ends: being the Light, not just living in it. During my time in college, I have been trying my hardest to do just that. As I have dedicated my time to Jewish learning and spiritual depth, I believe the initial acts of shamor v’zakhor at Shabbat candle lighting have made a torch of me. A torch like the Havdalah candle which strives to illumine and enlighten wherever Light can reach. I know my story is very different than most students in Nebraska. Nevertheless, I will always proudly claim it.
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Tristan Newman University of Nebraska, USA
” COMING-OF-AGE
What’s YOUR coming-of-age story?
PHOTOVOICE • TEENS & YOUNG ADULTS
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Life-Long Learners Members of the Interfaith Forum of Greater Dayton, Ohio assisted in recruitment of the teens and young adult group from Dayton. During recruitment, interest in this project sparked curiosity from many of the adult members and they decided to have their own group. This group met several times over Zoom and shared their stories, “looking back” at their coming-of-age.
Bushra Shahid Charlene Baylis Colette Harrison
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Emily Layton Judith Heller Marcy L. Paul
Megan Ullom Simran Sehbi
COMING-OF-AGE
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Coming-of-age for all Muslim girls is the wearing of the hijab that starts in early teens or even younger. Growing up in an Islamic country with Muslims around me, I never thought there would be a time when I would be explaining different commandments of my faith to friends, neighbors, and community partners who were not Muslims. They not only had questions, but misconceptions and misunderstandings about my faith, and what I presented as a Muslim. Looking
PHOTOVOICE • LIFE-LONG LEARNERS
back at the last decade, my life has been shaped by my faith community and its interaction with other communities. This involves introducing my community to who we are and what we believe in. Being of a different culture, of a different skin color and of a misunderstood faith, the way my life has been shaped in the USA has been liberating, and has helped me explore previously unknown aspects of who I am.
Bushra Shahid Dayton, Ohio, USA
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Time in this earthly space; light moving toward Source energy - Yaweh, God, Allah, Spirit; teapot representing communal sharing of libation and sustenance; pictures representing people I have interacted with in the past, present, in my future are my story. All represents my life experience, past and to come. Persons in the pictures are of ancestry - Swedish - but are all my interactive experience. Heritage beginning in Africa. Growing up and grown-up places I’ve lived. Learning, formal and not. Baptism into the Christian tradition through South Church Community Baptist in Mount Prospect, Illinois of the American Baptist Churches USA denomination as is the congregation I am now a member of, First Baptist Church of Dayton, downtown on the Great Miami River and next to the YMCA. Work. Honoring of God through gardening and earth’s larger care. An atom in motion, my Coming-of-Age story began when I was three years old, standing outdoors and knowing rather than able to verbalize “I have been somewhere else, now I am here” and continues until again I am “somewhere else.”
Charlene Baylis Dayton, Ohio, USA 32
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‘chosen’. Later on, after the death of my father and then my divorce, and eventually my mother’s passing, I was ‘led’ to finally explore new horizons of my own choosing – another ‘coming-of-age’. Since then – moving to the Midwest initiated a final and most gradual ‘coming-of-age’ process – a complete shedding of old (never really chosen) roles, more wholeheartedly embracing and serving the Bahá’í Faith and a change of focus into current pursuits in social justice. Through it all singing and music remain a mainstay with many lyrics continuing to serve as the ladder of my soul – helping me determine who (not what) I am and want to be.
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My Coming-of-Age story cannot be defined by a single event or moment in time, but rather as a succession of stages, of roles and responsibilities, many of which were ‘assigned’ to me and assumed from a young age – and none, until much later, discarded so as to finally become, in the past two decades or so, the person I choose to be. Growing up in a multi-lingual, multicultural, and tri-continental environment had both advantages and disadvantages – the latter being most
PHOTOVOICE • LIFE-LONG LEARNERS
significant in trying to understand and formulate my own sense of identity. And yet there were moments ... brief periods of time when I felt I was ‘me’. Riding a horse, singing, growing up traveling throughout the US and Europe, then professionally adding Canada, the UK, Australia, South Africa, Montenegro, and Israel - two ‘coming-of-age’ stages, such as they were… While many additional things also happened in those intervening years – college, marriage, the beginning attempt at a thwarted career – much of which was contrived rather than
L’histoire de mon «avènement comme adulte» ne peut pas être définie par un seul événement ou moment de temps précis, mais plutôt comme une succession d’étapes, de rôles et de responsabilités, dont beaucoup m’ont été assignés plutôt que choisis. Pendant ce long voyage, les rôles se sont inversés car j’avais des parents âgés dont je devais m’occuper; une autre façon dont ma vie a été «suspendue». Ainsi, alors que certaines choses se sont produites au cours de ces années - université, mariage, tentative de début de carrière - beaucoup ont été artificiellement conçues plutôt que «choisies». Plus tard, après la mort de mon père, et puis mon divorce, et plus tard la mort de ma mère j’embarques dans ce dernier «passage à l’âge adulte» et beaucoup plus graduel - un abandon complet des anciens rôles (jamais vraiment choisis), et des nouvellles découvertes personnelles m’aidant à déterminer, enfin, qui je suis.
Colette Harrison Dayton, Ohio, USA 33
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It was Christmas time 1993. I felt certain as I flew home that others would see how my first semester of college had changed and matured me. Enjoying a life of independence. Focused on a graduation gown. Key rings. Dreams in hand. I felt like an adult. Just a few days later, I sat in my childhood room resigned to the fact that while I had felt the transformation to adulthood beginning, my family still saw and responded to me as the child I had always been. It was going to be a slower and more complicated process than I could understand. It wasn’t just about freedom and enlarged perspective. My coming-of-age was defined by an interplay of external social relationships and an internal relationship with my future self. It was late May 1996. I was standing in that same childhood room to retrieve some last items I wanted to take with me to the new apartment before my husband and I left on our honeymoon. Our immediate and extended families and friends had gathered and joined in religious and cultural traditions to celebrate our marriage with us. Beginning a life together. Bridal gown. Wedding rings. Hand in hand forever. Now my community acknowledged me as an adult. It was early September 1998. I was in a hospital room in excruciating pain, preparing to give birth to our first child.
While married life and my college graduation had greatly enlarged my identity, this was a transcendent moment. I was giving birth to my own motherhood. New life growing within me. Hospital gown. Teething rings. Tiny hand in mine. There was no going back. The future was here. Another life depended on me to be an adult now. The transformation was complete.
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Emily Layton Dayton, Ohio, USA 34
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for potential converts and others, despite being twenty years younger than the next youngest person in the class. The kiddush cup in my picture represents this commitment that I made to being Jewish both that spring and the following fall when I started college away from home. The cup has a picture of Jerusalem engraved on it, which also represents the time I spent in Israel my junior year in college. In a time before e-mail and the internet, when letters from home arrived once a week if you were lucky, traveling abroad meant being on one’s own in a different way than it does today.
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I experienced coming-of-age as a process, rather than an event. It began the summer before my senior year in high school and went through the seven months that I spent in Israel my junior year in college. Just before I started my last year of high school, I turned eighteen. The American law declared me an adult and did indeed make me feel adult. I could vote; I was legally
responsible for my behavior; and I could hold significantly more responsible jobs than I could the day before I turned eighteen. Ultimately, being eighteen gave me a different attitude towards being Jewish. Whatever religious education I had been given or had failed to be given, it was now my choice and my responsibility. In the spring of my senior year, I started taking a basic Judaism class for adults that my synagogue offered
While the buttons come from various periods of my life, in this picture, they represent my freshman year in college. My burgeoning feminism and commitment to interfaith work was as much a product of being with friends through some difficult events as it was a product of classroom education and extracurricular activities. At the end of each quarter that year, I would be amazed at how much I had grown and how different I felt from when the quarter had started a mere ten weeks earlier.
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Judith Heller Dayton, Ohio, USA PHOTOVOICE • LIFE-LONG LEARNERS
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When did I ‘Come-of-Age’? Was there a determining moment that marked this time? Through twists and turns of life, my answer is determined by many categories of my identity(ies). None of us have one identity- but many illustrated by moments that are fluid or in Nepantla or ‘in-between-ness’. I used to think this day was marked by my first blood flow, when I tried to create my own menstrual belt, until I finally told my mother and she told me, ‘we’ll take care of it in the morning’ as blood dripped down my legs. I thought the marking was my Bat Mitzvah, the Jewish tradition of reading of the Torah for the first time, which happens at 12 or 13 but mine was at 18, when I chose to do this with my older sister. I thought it was the first time I had my own apartment or when I had Thanksgiving at my house and carved my first turkey? So many moments that marked what I thought to be, my beginning of adulthood. Then I realized that my ‘Coming-of-Age in-between-ness’ happened a few days after July 17, 1997. I was at the cemetery, sitting in a chair usually reserved for ‘older people’, seated next to my husband and my parents as Rabbi Knobel recited אל ָמלֵ א ַר ֲח ִמים, ֵ El Malai Rachamim, ‘G-d, full of compassion, dwelling in the heights and in the depths, grant perfect rest under the wings of Your presence to Samuel Leve, who has entered eternity’. I watched as my oldest son’s casket was lowered into the ground. Thirteen months later G-d blessed me with Isaac, my son of laughter.
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Marcy L. Paul Dayton, Ohio, USA 36
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My Coming-of-Age story began when the caretaker role reversed - Oy passed years earlier, and now Nan was aging, and needed more help than she wanted to admit. It started out small - offering to take her to the grocery store, or bringing over dinner a few nights a week. When her memory started to fail, and she no longer drove and needed more assistance, my role slowly morphed into full time care. While my peers were starting their careers or heading to graduate school, I instead found a job that allowed me the flexibility to answer her calls throughout the day to reassure her that she hadn’t missed an appointment, or remind her that she had food in her fridge that I had brought over. We became nearly attached at the hip - I went with her everywhere outside of her home, there to make sure she was safe, got where she needed to be, and was taken care of the way she deserved.
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My parents met Nan (and her husband, Roy or “Oy”) when I was just weeks old - “the size of a shoebox” as they would say. Both young and working full time, my parents needed childcare but didn’t like the idea of sending a newborn to daycare, so they put an ad in the newspaper and Nan and Oy answered their call - beginning my lifelong relationship with these two extraordinary people. Over the years they became so much more than newborn caretakers - they were friends, an “extra” set of grandparents, and most importantly, they helped raise me and shape me into the person I am today.
A few years later, the time came for me to move in with Nan. Her memory had declined to the point where she was unable to safely live alone, and her one wish was that she wouldn’t die alone in a nursing home, away from her beloved dog Gracie. So, I moved and joined her in her home - the home where she proudly raised her children, lived with her beloved husband, and made countless memories with me. We lived together for just a few months before she passed. I miss her more than words can say, but in her home I feel her presence everyday, and it is incredibly comforting. My Coming-of-Age experience caring for Nan made me someone that I am proud of, and I am forever grateful for her influence in my life.
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Megan Ullom Dayton, Ohio, USA PHOTOVOICE • LIFE-LONG LEARNERS
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I grew up in India in a family that valued hard work, simplicity and education above all. My father became an orphan at a young age and never went to school. By watching and learning from others, he learned how to read, write and speak in English. With dedication and hard work, he reached the position of Chief Engineer in a large Steel Company and supervised innumerable qualified engineers. He understood the value of education and his goal was to educate his 10 kids so that they could reach their highest potential. This background will help you understand my Coming-of-Age story better. From an early age I watched my older siblings and tried to emulate them, and most of all one of my older sisters, who was studying medicine. Whenever she came home from college she would get up early in the morning to study and I would get up with her and start reading my elementary school or middle school books. She was my role model and I wanted to follow in her footsteps. However, in my teenage years there was a conflict between the adventure and glamor of world-wide travel and studying for years to become a doctor. I saw my friends putting on lipstick and nail polish and I wanted to do the same. On one occasion despite putting on my best friend’s light pink nail polish that I thought no one would notice, my oldest brother did notice it and I was not allowed to finish my dinner until I removed the nail polish. I did not have a nail polish remover so I used a blade to remove the nail polish! When I tried to grow long nails, my mother gently reminded me that “doctors don’t grow nails” presuming that I would become a doctor!
So you see, the small voice that told me to follow my fantasy of becoming a ‘glamorous’ air stewardess and travel the world in search of adventure was muffled by other stronger forces in my life and I finally decided that becoming a physician and helping others was a nobler road to follow than a few years of self-gratification. Today, when I see the look of gratitude in the eyes of my patients and their families I know I made the right decision.
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Simran Sehbi Dayton, Ohio, USA 38
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Thank you for taking the time to look through and read Coming-of-Age: photographs and stories from teens to life-long learners. We would love your feedback on “Coming-of-Age.” 1. What did you think of this project? 2. What surprised you? 3. What did you learn about yourself ? 4. What themes do you see within the Coming-of-Age experiences? 5. If you would like to participate in this project, let us know! Vist jewishdayton.org/coming-of-age to view our online exhibit and give us your feedback! Questions? Contact Marcy L. Paul, PhD, Senior Director, Jewish Community Relations Council of Greater Dayton at mpaul@jfgd.net. Many organizations and individuals helped make this project possible. Coming-of-Age: An Interfaith Dialogue Through the Lens of Youth [and life-long learners] was made possible by a grant from the World Religion Foundation. Partnership2Gether Western Galilee Consortium • Students of Service (SOS), San Antonio, Texas Jewish Community Relations Council, Jewish Federation of San Antonio, Texas Jewish Community Relations Council, Jewish Federation of Greater Dayton, Ohio Stephen Goldberg, Dayton, Ohio • Interfaith Forum of Greater Dayton, Ohio
Marcy L. Paul, PhD Senior Director Jewish Community Relations Council mpaul@jfgd.net
The Boonshoft Center for Jewish Culture and Education 525 Versailles Drive Centerville, Ohio 45459 Phone: 937-610-1555 • Fax: 937-853-0378
www.jewishdayton.org