Necropinions Do you want to be buried or cremated, and why? Jessica Meisels This question provokes fierce debate amongst my family and friends. Quite frankly, both totally freak me out, because I have an added factor: I am terrified of being buried or cremated alive. . This is a serious issue that plagues me on a day-to-day basis. There was no fucking way anyone was dragging me to see Buried, no matter how hot Ryan Reynolds sweating it out in a coffin for two hours may be. Although the greatest relief would be to pull a Death Becomes Her, I reluctantly pick being laid to rest in the ground (where, if I was alive, I could choke myself to death and rest peacefully amongst the worms eating my liver) over being cremated (where, if I was alive, I would be SLOWLY BURNING AND FRYING my insides and would have to endure the pain before being turned to pieces of dust for Keith Richards to snort.) I’m hoping by the year 3050, when I am ready to die, that I can simply live on as one of those weird bobbly heads from Futurama where no mobster can throw me in a trunk and watch me slowly get toasted.
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