Just Between Us Magazine | Fall 2022 by Just Between Us

I Get By with a Little Help from My

s d en i r F by Lori Ann Wood

TURNING YOUR FEAR INTO COURAGE GET TO KNOW YOUR NEIGHBORS

p U ce i p S

A FAITH CHAT WITH AUTHOR MICHELE CUSHATT

Your Spiritual Life! by Stephanie Rousselle

TRUTH IN A WHATEVER CULTURE

fall 2022 | F I N D

MORE AT JUSTBETWEENUS.ORG

Find Life-Giving Hope & Strength Mrs. L. B. Cowman knew well about life’s dark valleys and lonely deserts. But she knew, too, about God’s living waters that bubble up in the midst of sadness and grief, bringing refreshment and joy. Her insight into God’s character, drawn from the Scriptures and purified through a lifetime of experience, provides life-giving hope and strength for a new generation of readers.

A VA I L A B L E WHERE BOOKS ARE SOLD 365 DEVOTIONS FROM

Streams in the Desert AND

Springs in the Valley

welcome from the editor SHELLY ESSER

Dear Friend, We are so glad you are here! In fact, we have been waiting for you. I cannot think of a greater privilege than pulling up a chair to your heart each quarter and whispering in your ear that you have a community of sisters who are rooting for you. And here we are already halfway through the year with our fall issue! What could be better than the coming Salted Caramel and Pumpkin Pie Lattes and the beautiful, breathtaking vibrant colors that come with this season? I imagine you curled up just now with your favorite latte drink and Just Between Us. You and your faith life are so important to us. So much so that we consider it a joy to lavish you with spiritual encouragement and unchanging truth from God’s Word throughout the year. Sharing our God stories with you is our passion. We have created this community of women as a gathering place just for you so we can point you to Jesus and the love and care He has for you. We hope you see it as that special place where you can come just as you are and find authenticity as women share their hearts and personal stories with you. It’s our hope that you find the connection you crave with other women just like you.

Here is some of what we have in store for you this issue: Long-time columnist and JBU cheerleader, international speaker, and author Pam Farrel is saying farewell to her regular column after 30-plus years. Words are inadequate to express our gratitude for her wisdom on marriage, family, ministry, God’s Word, and following hard after Jesus. Don’t miss her last column on page 41. However, from time to time, Pam will write a feature so it’s not a final goodbye. We are so very grateful for her love for us, you, and her passion for Jesus. Thank you, Pam! You will want to turn to Michele Cushatt’s interview, “An Imperfect Life” on page 18. A three-time cancer survivor, Michele shares her story with so much hope and help whether you have cancer, are living with some other challenging life circumstance, or know someone else who is. I guarantee that after you finish the last word, you will say, “Michele could be one of my best girlfriends. She gets me!” There is so much more waiting for you, so grab that favorite fall drink and plan to stay a long while with us. It is our prayer that God meets your heart in very specific places in every page, down to the last word and drop of your latte! Blessings!

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As part of our community, we want you to know that you have women around the world praying for you, loving you through their words, supporting you in prayer, and giving financially—for you! All because they want you to be encouraged in your relationship

with Christ and provided with the resources and courage (our word for the year) that will help you in whatever situations you find yourselves.

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Contents

V O L U M E

3 2

N O . 4

F A L L

2 0 2 2

on the cover

Cultivating Comeback Courage

We all need friends who will encourage us to be brave and resilient.

Spice Up Your Spiritual Life!

How to remedy spiritual boredom in your relationship with God. by Stephanie Rousselle

by Lori Ann Wood

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Faith Chats An Imperfect Life

Michele Cushatt has found hope and peace in hard places. interview by Ann M. Cook

Becoming a woman who understands and lives the Word of God in a post-Christian culture. by Marci Dittmer

Make the first move with the people on your street and watch what happens. by Renee Smith

Being uncomfortable is better than being unchanged. by Laura Sandretti

Walk in Truth, Live in Joy

Knowing Your Neighbors

Courageous Women Let Fear Become Courage

Another Bad Hair Day!

The misadventures of cutting your own hair. by Karen Rhea Newell

A Prayer for a Hearing Heart Discouragement is fought in God’s presence. by Jill Briscoe

11 Encouraging WORDS 12 Transparent Moments 38 Frameable Artwork columns

Intentional Faith

40 Faith at Work 41 Discovering the Word Living Well

42 Minutes 43 15in the Word 46

Outside Your Front Door

Renewal Assistants Wayne + Sally Schlittenhart

Director Digital Media Mary Ann Prasser

Marketing Julie Santiago

Editorial Assistants Ann Cook Constance B. Fink Gayle Gengler Betty Hinds Cherry Hoffner Melinda Papador Marilyn Pritchard Danae Templeton

Director of Mission Advancement/ Social Media Ashley Schmidt Subscriptions Phil Perso Mary Richards Jan Schuldt Lin Sebena

Creative Director Julie Krinke

Prayer Sharon Stonecipher

Advisory Board Anita Carman Pam Farrel Judy Briscoe Golz Nancy Grisham Pam MacRae Elizabeth Murphy Jackie Oesch Stephanie Seefeldt

Intern Hailey Pitcher Photography Wayde Peronto Babboni Photography babbonis.com

Jennifer Faris Photography ADVERTISING Ellie Dunn For more information call (856) 582-0690 ext. 2# or email ellie@carldunn.com.

SUBSCRIPTIONS Subscription price: $19.95 per year for 4 issues. Outside US, add $11 per year prepaid US currency. Gift Your Ministries: Group subscriptions are now available at reduced rates. Encourage and inspire the women who make ministry happen at your church or other places of outreach or service to others. Energize their relationships, refresh their faith, and become equipped as a team for facing ministry challenges through JBU. For more information, call 800-260-3342 today! Just Between Us (ISSN 1069-3459) is published quarterly by Just Between Us, 777 South Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045-3701. Make all checks and money orders payable to: Just Between Us, Subscription Orders 777 S. Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045 To order by phone, or for more information: call 800-260-3342. From Canada call (262) 786-6478. Email: jbu@justbetweenus.org Website: www.justbetweenus.org Periodical Postage Paid at Brookfield, WI and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: Just Between Us, 777 S. Barker Road, Brookfield, WI 53045. Just Between Us is a member publication of the Evangelical Press Association. Copyright ©2022 by Just Between Us. All rights reserved. Printed in USA. We occasionally share subscriber mailing addresses with select organizations. If you would like your name removed from direct mail promotional lists, please call 800-260-3342 or email jbu@justbetweenus.org.

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call toll-free 800-260-3342 or visit our website justbetweenus.org From Canada call 262-786-6478

Renewals Manager & Software Support Rebecca Loesche

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trengthening S Your Soul

General Manager Mary Perso

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You can walk alongside hurting families with compassion and the love of Christ. by Laura DeNooyer-Moore

Heart-to-Heart with Joni

Advertising & Accounts Manager Sharon Vaught

When Mental Illness Hits Home

Editor Shelly Esser

Circulation Manager Suzan Braun

Choosing to worship during hard times. by Carol MacLeod

Founder/Executive Editor Jill Briscoe

Wired for Song

3 Welcome from the Editor 6 Meet Our Team 8 Between Us 9 Happy Home

CREDITS

in every issue

EVA

features

PRESS AS

meet our team

Our Just Between Us team is made up of incredible women with hearts to see you flourish in every area of your life, especially in your life of faith. They bring their collective gifts to make sure you don’t feel alone and that you are continually encouraged, so you can grow closer to Jesus and make an impact on His world.

JILL BRISCOE

SHELLY ESSER

MARY PERSO

SUZAN BRAUN

MARY ANN PRASSER

ASHLEY SCHMIDT

REBECCA LOESCHE

SHARON VAUGHT

Founder

iC rculation a M nager & Assistant Editor

Renewals a M nager & Software Support

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About Our Ministry

Just Between Us is a vibrant and expanding not-for-profit ministry that continues to transform the lives of women around the world. Our heartfocused and biblically-based content in the print magazine, on the website, in the weekly digital mini-magazine, on social media, and other products— all help women find hope and encouragement while growing their faith and deepening their love for Jesus.

Editor

Director Digital e M dia

Advertising & Accounts a M nager

General Manager

Director of iM ssion Advancement/Social e M dia

JULIE KRINKE rC eative Director

Thank You for Your Generosity! We are so grateful for the outpouring of your support after our “family news” about the financial challenges Just Between Us has been facing. Paper and postage prices have gone up and we are being hit from every direction with rising costs. We have made up ground, but have a ways to go. Think of it this way: JBU is a source of encouragement for women all year long. Today, we can easily spend $5 or more on one Hallmark card to bless someone, which is lovely, but it only lasts a day. Contributing to the ongoing ministry of JBU puts an “encouragement card” in the hands of the women you love throughout the entire year. Will you invest in that kind of ongoing encouragement so this ministry can continue to lift up women with spiritual truth and refreshment for years to come? We can’t do it without you! Thank you again for your help. Gratefully, The JBU Team

Let’s Help Each Other Dear Friend & Subscriber, Just Between Us has always strived to bring you a beautiful and excellent magazine full of biblical truth and content to lift your soul to provide what you need for encouragement in your life of faith. We have also tried to keep the price of the magazine low enough so that every woman can enjoy it. We want to continue doing that. Unfortunately, we have been hit hard with rising printing and mailing costs, making it difficult for us to not raise our subscription prices. We certainly don’t want to lose those of you who won’t be able to afford a higher price.

So How Can We Help Each Other? It’s easy. Just take a moment now to renew your subscription online or by mail. You’ll provide us with a huge savings for the rising postage and printing costs, and you’ll lock in the best rate for your subscription. Thank you for renewing your subscription today. It will not only be a big help to our ministry, but will save you some money as well!

To Renew Today: For online, go to: justbetweenus.org/renew and enter your order number found on your renewal notice OR enter your zip code and customer number (found on each magazine mailing label). With gratitude, The JBU Team

Scan this code with your mobile device to renew online!

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BETWEEN US

Delicate, Not Fragile

Lysa TerKeurst

hen I was walking through one of the most difficult seasons of my life, God showed me a powerful picture. I’m not really a “see some sort of vision” kind of girl, so at first I thought it was just my imagination wandering off for a minute. But then I felt an impression on my heart that this really was from God.

The Three Flowers

At first, what I saw inside my mind was a beautiful flower made from paper-thin glass. I looked at it from all sides and admired the way it was formed. Then I saw a hand reach out to wrap itself around the glass flower. As the hand closed around it, the glass popped and shattered. The glass was delicately beautiful, but fragile. Next, I saw the same flower formed out of shiny metal. The hand reached out and wrapped itself around the flower and held it for a few seconds. And then once again the hand closed around it. It didn’t change in any way. And I could tell the harder the hand pressed, the more pain the steel flower caused the hand. The steel was strong, but too hard to give way to the hand’s desired working. The last time I saw the flower, it was made from white clay. Every detail was the same, except now when the hand closed around it, the flower moved with the hand. The hand folded and twisted and worked with the clay until suddenly an even more beautiful flower emerged.

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I asked God about the glass flower and the metal flower.

flower was strong enough to hold its shape, but soft enough to allow the hand to reshape it as needed. And in the end, the clay flower wound up being the most beautifully shaped of them all. I cried. I finally felt like I could understand a bit of God’s perspective. It gave a whole new meaning to one of my favorite verses, found in Isa. 64:8: “You, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay: you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” God loves the parts of us that are delicately beautiful, but He doesn’t want us to be fragile like the glass. God made us to be strong, but He doesn’t want us to grow hard like metal, unable to be molded.

Be Clay in His Hands

Seeing the beautiful in life again requires us to stay moldable by God. If we’re too fragile, the fear of being broken, crushed, and hurt again will make us want to fight the process. If we are too rigid, those sharp and strong edges may feel like they protect us, but in reality, they just prevent the transformative work of God in us. It’s only in trusting the hands of the Potter to remold and remake us that those hurts are able to be shaped into something beautiful. He wants me to be like the clay, able to stand firm while still being molded into whatever purpose He has for me. He wants that for you too, friend. We don’t have to be afraid of how He is going to shape our lives. He is the God who somehow makes everything beautiful in its time.

I felt the Lord say, Lysa, I want you to be delicate, not fragile. If you’re like that piece of glass, when I press into you and try to make you into something new, you’ll just shatter. I also want you to be strong, but not unmoldable. You see, Lysa, that steel flower, it’ll always just be a steel flower. I can’t make something new from something so hard. You are already beautiful, but if you’ll surrender to My shaping, I can do a new and beautiful work in you.

Right now, in the middle of pain... your life can still be beautiful. Gain healthier ways to process your pain and learn to see your situations through truth-based perspectives in Lysa’s new devotional, Seeing Beautiful Again: 50 Devotions to Find Redemption in Every Part of Your Story. Order your copy today at seeingbeautifulagain.com.

He is the Potter

Lysa TerKeurst is president of Proverbs 31 Ministries

The images I had seen were beginning to make sense. God wanted me to be like clay. The white clay

and the #1 New York Times’ bestselling author of Forgiving What You Can’t Forget, It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way and Uninvited. She writes from her gray farm table and lives with her family in North Carolina.

LysaTerKeurst.com LysaTerKeurst Lysa TerKeurst

HAPPY HOME

Encourage Your Child to Dream Big

Arlene Pellicane

hen our oldest child, Ethan, turned 12, we planned a ceremony to celebrate his journey to manhood. No girls were allowed—not even me! The men took care of everything from grilling ribeye steaks to organizing laser tag in the park. I was told the best part of the evening happened sitting around a bonfire. Twelve men spoke words of affirmation and wisdom into Ethan’s life. These men included my husband and my dad, church friends, a former neighbor, and Royal Ranger commanders (a Christian boy’s club similar to Boy Scouts).

Words of Wisdom

“You have to have a vision for your life. What do you want to become?” my father told Ethan. “When I was your age living in Indonesia, I was dreaming about coming to America and becoming a doctor. Keep in mind my parents didn’t even have the money to travel to the next town, so it was quite the dream,” my dad said. Another piece of advice from our friend Tim stood out to Ethan: “When you are deciding on a college, visit churches in the area. Being established in a local church is especially important during the college years.” Tim was an excellent student; he was accepted at Harvard and John Hopkins. Yet his advice to Ethan was spiritual in nature. Today Tim is a retired medical doctor and strong believer.

Dreams Take Courage

Parents can also elevate safety—not dreaming— above everything else. “Be safe” isn’t a very motivating mission statement to build a life around. We know about many heroes from the Bible, not because they played it safe, but because they displayed courage in the face of fear. Maybe instead of sending our kids off to school with, “Be safe,” we should say, “Be courageous.” This isn’t about fostering recklessness or foolishness. It’s about teaching our kids to stretch beyond what’s comfortable, and to be brave in order to do what’s right. Daniel 11:32 says, “the people who know their God shall be strong and carry out great exploits” (NKJV). Our children can walk through life with confidence because God is with them. Remember my father and his desire to come to America? His crazy dream did come true. He and his pregnant wife left the safety of Indonesia for New York in their twenties. I was born in America. There are grand possibilities in your child’s future. Dream on and pass optimism to your kids. My son Ethan’s not 12 anymore; he’s a freshman in college. His future is bright, not because of the circumstances of the world, but because of the full life promised to those who follow Christ.

Arlene Pellicane is a speaker, host of the Happy Home podcast, and author of several books including: Screen Kids, Parents Rising, and 31 Days to a Happy Husband. Arlene has been featured on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Wall Street Journal, FamilyLife Today, and Focus on the Family. She lives in San Diego, Calif., with her husband James and their three children.

arlenepellicane.com ArlenePellicaneAuthor ArlenePellicane ArlenePellicane

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Are you encouraging your son or daughter, grandson or granddaughter to dream about the future? I hope so. Perhaps you’ve downplayed dreaming because

The Bible says, “nothing will be impossible with God” (Luke 1:37, ESV). With intellectual honesty, you can tell your child, “Keep dreaming of becoming the next great entrepreneur, singer, engineer, or astronaut!” Childhood is for dreaming, and we need to encourage big dreams in the hearts of our little children.

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Our boys and girls desperately need this kind of positive affirmation and direction for the future. They don’t need to grow up being constantly told about the “grim prospects,” “poor economy,” or “shrinking job market.” They need to be encouraged to honor God, dream big, and increase their skills to match their dreams. As my daughter Noelle’s favorite motivational speaker Jim Rohn said, “If you talk to your children, you can help them keep their lives together. If you talk to them skillfully, you can help them to build future dreams. Dreams get you started; discipline keeps you going” (emphasis mine).

you know life is hard. Kids can’t really become anything they want, but we can become too realistic.

HEART-TO-HEART WITH JONI

The Lame One

Joni Eareckson Tada

y husband and I are reading through the Bible, and we are encountering lots of genealogies. Ken commented that God must have a reason for mentioning these countless names. Like Paseah. He’s mentioned in the genealogies in 1 Chronicles 4:12. It would be easy to quickly pass over him—just one innocuous fellow squeezed in between hundreds—but God thinks he’s important enough for Holy Writ. We looked up the name and discovered that Paseah means “the lame one.” He’s someone with a disability and only mentioned once in the Bible (but no name in God's Word is ever random or unimportant). Scripture highlights all sorts of lame people, and most of them are given honorable mention. Isaiah 33 goes into detail about the distress of Judah during the siege by the king of Assyria, but it foretells a high note: “the lame shall carry off the plunder” (Isa. 33:23). In the end, the defeat of the Assyrian army will be so complete that it’ll be the weakest of God’s people who carry off spoils from the Assyrian camp. As a result? God will receive greater glory than if the best of the Israelite army took the plunder!

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This story speaks powerfully to me, an aging quadriplegic. There are days when I feel the crunch of chronic pain, the humiliation of soiled underwear, and the frustration of weakening arm muscles (I cannot feed myself as I did when I was younger). But this amazing story of God’s great victory over the Assyrians inspires and refreshes my heart.

Isaiah 33 should encourage you, too, especially if you struggle with pain or fatigue from a chronic condition. Are there days when you feel depleted of energy or racked with pain, and think, what use am I to the Lord? Consider what happened to the Assyrians. You can defeat far more powerful spiritual enemies than the fierce Assyrians, and you can ransack the camp of God’s adversaries—foes that try to convince you that you have no place of service in Christ’s kingdom.

There is Gain in the Pain

You are never more used for the Lord’s purposes than when you yield yourself to God in your weakness. Your limitations place you in a prime position to “take the prey.” For as you trust the Lord, the enemies of God scatter—yes, demonic forces and harassing spirits, but also enemies of doubt, fear, anxiety, or worry. When you pray from a position of affliction, your intercessions have great power with God. Darkness and depression are put to the sword and vanquished. And God receives greater glory for His majesty displayed through weakness (2 Cor. 12:9). I remember these truths every time I sit up in my wheelchair. My weakness is my badge of honor. As I lean into God every morning, He makes me a victor in spiritual battle. Our afflictions are an opportunity to prove the fullness of God's enabling power. The Assyrians saw this firsthand, and so did God’s people when they returned from their exile: “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: 'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty” (Zech. 4:6).

More Than Conquerors

Weakness prevents us from living by our own might, and by our own power. When yielded to Christ, our chronic conditions pave the way for the Spirit of the Lord Almighty to make us more than conquerors. Then we become like Paseah, forever listed in the genealogy of those who lived victoriously through Jesus Christ. Bear the name of the lame one today. It’s a good name, a privileged one. Embrace it with honor, for it means that you can enjoy the spoils of your “war” against depression, fear, and anxiety, and take with you the glorious spoils of courage, valor, and victory!

Joni Eareckson Tada is an esteemed Christian

author and artist, and a respected global leader in disability ministry and advocacy. Although a 1967 diving accident left her a quadriplegic, she emerged from rehabilitation with a determination to help others with similar disabilities. Joni serves as CEO of Joni and Friends, a Christian organization which promotes support services for thousands of specialneeds families around the world. She and her husband, Ken, live in Calabasas, Calif.

joniandfriends.org

% response@joniandfriends.org

encouraging WORDS “Be strong and let your heart take COURAGE.” PSALM 27:14

“It takes

“COURAGE doesn’t mean you don’t get afraid. COURAGE means you don’t let fear stop you.” TOBY MAC

to listen with our whole heart to the tick of God’s timing, rather than march to the beat of our fears.” ANN VOSKAMP

“When God speaks, oftentimes His voice will call for an act of COURAGE on our part.” CHARLES STANLEY

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TODD ADKINS

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“You can either be comfortable or courageous but you can’t be both.”

TRANSPARENT MOMENTS

Thriving Under God’s Perfect Love

Anita Carman

y four-year-old grandson was playing chase with his papa. He ran under an arch and shouted, “This is safe. You can’t get me if I’m standing here!” He was visibly indignant when anyone reached for him while he was standing in his safe place. His response illustrated so vividly to me that even at that young age, children understand the concept of safe. God designed us to thrive in a place of safety. If you are not thriving, could it be because you don’t feel safe? What guidance can we get from God’s Word so we can continue to serve under the safety of God’s perfect love?

Paul’s Example

The apostle Paul served from a place of God’s perfect love and safety. He never used circumstances to assess God’s love for him but believed God with his faith. He said in Phil. 1:20-21, “I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.”

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Paul was in a situation that looked desperate. He was stuck in prison, unable to travel and spread the gospel as he wanted. Seeing his limitations, people were accusing him of being cursed by God. They used circumstances to conclude that Paul had lost God’s favor. Paul’s rebuttal was to say that God was with him regardless of his circumstances, and that he felt perfect safety in the most desperate of times because God’s presence surrounded him.

The finished work on the cross gives us the assurance and confidence that God is for us, whether we are alive or facing suffering and death. Paul says that even if we die, we have the victory because Jesus conquered death; for believers, death just means a welcomed arrival into heaven with Him. Imagine living where you cut the umbilical cord to your circumstances and truly believe that God is for you, regardless of what is happening in your life.

What If Versus Even If

When my husband went through radiation treatment for cancer, the devil had a field day with my

imagination. In my human reasoning, I tried to find peace by getting more data and living in a place of probabilities and medical statistics of treatment and survival rate. But deep inside, I hid this secret fear and question, “But what if the statistics are wrong?” Ultimately, my peace did not come from information or statistics. Instead, it came when God escalated the situation and said, “And even if I allowed what your vain imagination has conjured up, will you still serve Me?” God was inviting me to leave the world of “What if” to transition into the space of “Even if.” Even if this or that happens, God will be glorified through my life. Even if circumstances turn bleak and I lose what I used to count on, I still have perfect safety in God’s presence.

The Last Runner

When I understood the choice God wanted from me, I envisioned the title to a future book called, The Last Runner. The idea is to embrace the strength you have when you decide that even if all the anchor relationships in your life disappear, you have already settled in your heart that you will be the last runner. That you will carry the torch God put in your hands until you reach the mountaintop for Jesus. Something empowering happens inside us when God escalates the crisis. He shows us He is not afraid of the future. He shows us that He has given us the strength to finish. God designed us to thrive under the umbrella of His perfect love. Are you living as a child of God, thriving under the safety of His perfect love?

Anita Carman arrived in America at 17, after her mother’s tragic suicide. Today, she is a walking billboard of how God transformed her pain into passion to build Inspire Women, a non-profit that unites thousands of women of all races and invests in their potential to change the world. She has an MBA from SUNY and an MABS from Dallas Theological Seminary. Anita has authored several books and lives in Houston, Tex., with her husband. She has two grown sons. Visit her at

inspirewomen.org

(Anita Carman’s signature curriculum, being taught through Inspire Women’s Leadership Academy, offers an online option to teach women how to make decisions fitting for one who is the King’s daughter. To enroll, please email info@ inspirewomen.org).

You Can Thrive in Ministry! Let Lisa Elliott be your guide as you explore the joys and challenges of being a pastor’s wife. Her real, relatable storytelling along with survival tips will help you thrive not just survive in ministry.

Lisa Elliott is a pastor’s wife of 40 years, gifted speaker, and award winning author. Visit her at lisaelliottstraightfromtheheart.wordpress.com.

Available at local Christian bookstores, Chapters/Indigo, Amazon, and wherever books and ebooks are sold.

CULTIVATING COMEBACK COURAGE Encouraging friends to be resilient. by Lori Ann Wood

Courage has never been a strong suit in my life. I remember feeling its void early on.

This life-giving boost of encouragement is more than cheering someone up. It is cheering them on.

Little Miss Introvert Me struggled through the first months of second grade. I dreaded the painful public loneliness of twice-daily recess. I was not adept at making friends, mostly because I wouldn’t talk to anyone.

And done right, encouragement births resilience. Like the clown punching bag I owned at that age, disappointment and defeat can knock us down time after time. But with encouragement, we can repeatedly rise up. A rubber band sometimes stretched beyond our capacity, we must spring back to be useful again. “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed” (2 Cor. 4:8-9).

Somehow, by Halloween, I had managed to make a breakthrough with a couple of patient souls. In early November, I got the flu. I stayed home for a week before my mother deemed me well enough to return. I didn’t want to go back. Nurse Mom had waited on me hand and foot. But mostly, I was terrified to re-enter the social scene of the classroom. Afraid to start over making friends and trying to fit in. It seemed like a mountain I could never climb again.

How to Give Courage

As my absent days accumulated, the situation got tense. But rather than yelling or making me feel like a failure, my mother pointed out where I had been successful. As most mothers do, mine understood the false story we sometimes tell ourselves. She deemed me kind, a good listener, and helpful to others. She said, “You are needed in Mrs. Kaufman’s classroom.”

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Mom probably didn’t know it, but she was putting into practice classic parenting curriculum. She was teaching me how to survive life’s difficulties by giving me courage. By en-couraging me. Her careful, reassuring words poured courage directly into my heart.

We all need this resilience to continue in courage.

We Need Each Other to be Resilient

Most importantly, we can’t do it alone. The main ingredient in resilience must be supplied by others, as in so many areas of Christianity. We need each other to be resilient. Social Researcher Dr. Brene Brown believes the most important factor in building resilience is being connected to and supported by others.

My younger daughter has recently taken up rock-climbing. Always the family mountain goat on hikes, we were concerned, but not surprised. We felt better when we understood she would have help on the hill. In climbing, you must have someone to belay you, to help you by securing your rope to an anchor point, because you cannot climb the mountain alone. All of life is like that. Last year, after being stable for several years, I was unexpectedly knocked back down by worsening heart failure. Immediately, my broken-in prayer warriors put me back upright and I marched on, secured to my Anchor. Not healed but determined to continue the battle. I need others to help me find courage to come out of life’s dark places, to scale the threatening mountain again and again. It is the calling of every believer to dispense this courage-building resilience.

We Need Christ to be Courageous

But the courage we need to rise again is not the bravery to take on the risk of physical harm or become super-hero-like, unaffected by danger. It is different. Courage solidifies when someone points out Christ in your life. Courage says: You are His. You will win no matter how this current battle ends. God in Eternity has already overcome everything. As messengers of Christ, we are called to embody Him by encouraging one another. We are expected to be a Barnabas at every opportunity. As Barnabas was known for his constant encouragement in Scripture, my friend is known for a longstanding personal card ministry. She has tirelessly maintained it, even through the loss of her husband and other major life detours. These cards have delivered encouragement to hundreds, if not thousands, of people. She uses precise language to call out the Christlikeness she sees in each individual. I learned from this strong friend that in encouraging someone else, we recognize courage in ourselves. And resilience thrives. As I reflect on my second-grade experience, I realize now that it wasn’t me making a breakthrough at recess so much as it was two kind, observant girls taking me under their wing.

The Coming Months and Mountains

The future is often a scary scope to peer through. Some of the dreams you have carefully planted and tended will become stumps. An investment will go south; a disease will return. A once-conquered temptation will haunt you again. You will get bruised or even crushed. You will thirst for something you can’t reach on your own. You will ache over the loss of a plan or a job. You will hear a dire medical diagnosis or suffer a serious personal tragedy. But you can face it courageously with the help of others. We are co-conquerors, co-heirs, co-risers. The Savior showed us that the best way to render the Enemy powerless is to rise again in resurrected resilience. Christ wants us back on our feet, so together we can embody His epic story of grace as best we can. Empowered by my mother’s encouraging words, I began to look for others who were lonely in my class the day I returned to second grade. My vision of myself and others had been forever changed. Through encouragement, we can highlight Christ in others’ lives. We can help build courage by cultivating resilience. To spring back from the trouble waiting for us in the months ahead. To scale the mountain we were never meant to climb alone. To face life’s classroom once more. And to search for others who need this life-restoring resilience and this Christ-centered courage as much as we do.

Lori Ann Wood serves as founding leader of the Parenting

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Education Ministry at the Church of Christ in Bentonville, Ark., WomenHeart Champion Community Educator, and American Heart Association Ambassador. Lori Ann’s work has been published in numerous print and online venues, including The Christian Century magazine and Pepperdine University Press. Lori Ann and her husband have three children and live in Bentonville, Ark. Read more from her at loriannwood.com.

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Like my own mother did for me, we too can point out the soul-sightings of Christ we see in the lives of others. We can highlight specific evidence of God’s gracelight for others whose vision has grown dim during a dark journey.

The suffering believer, Paul, mentioned such soul-sightings often in his writings and letters. It’s likely no coincidence that Paul and Barnabas worked together in ministry. I often wonder if Barnabas’ spirit of instilling courage helped make Paul into the resilient warrior in the trenches we read so much from in the New Testament: “I’m a long way off, true, and you may never lay eyes on me, but believe me, I’m on your side, right beside you. I am delighted to hear of the careful and orderly ways you conduct your affairs and impressed with the solid substance of your faith in Christ” (Col. 2:5, MSG).

Spice Up

Your Spiritual Life!

It’s a luxury to delight in God’s glory. by Stephanie Rousselle

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Is your relationship with God growing stale? Have you ever wished you could spice up your spiritual life? Ever wonder if there’s more to “taste and see” in how you experience Scripture or your daily devotions? I’ve got some suggestions to help you engage all your senses to make His glory your delight!

In the past two decades, I have lived on three continents in four different countries, five different cities, and six different professional roles. Even now, as a native French woman living in the U.S., I am living and ministering cross-culturally. This unique global experience has taught me to experience Scripture through the lens of different cultures, languages, and foods. I have learned to camp at the intersection of culture and Scripture.

Taste and See

Being French, I am genetically wired to love good food. Nearly 30 years ago, when I was a very convinced atheist, God challenged me to “taste and see that the LORD is good” (Ps. 34:8). This shows how culturally savvy

our marvelous Lord is. He used a food-related verse to challenge me in a way my heart could understand. I discovered that God is like dark chocolate—both addictive and good for you. What verses has He whispered into your heart because they fit just right? This alone is enough to inspire us to worship Him!

Delight in His Glory

God calls all of us who are in Christ to delight in His glory every day. But what does it mean to make His glory our delight? The French word for “delight” is delice. It may remind you of another English word— delicious. In French, our one word, delice, is the same for both delight and delicious. Do you see what that means? In French, God is both delightful and delicious. Spiritually speaking, when we aim to delight in God’s glory, we also aim to taste His goodness.

y r u x u l al u it r i p s s e ’ at od m i t G l u g in k The a m as ss ce c u s e is to defin delight every day. glory our We French are famous for our hedonism, and I’ll be the first to admit that, outside of Christ, we have taken things too far down the wrong path. But allow me to redeem a little something that is precious to my French heart—our definition of luxury. In America, luxury might be defined by the abundance and quality of possessions; in France, we like to think of luxury as a feast for the five senses. When all your senses are involved in an experience, it is luxurious. Think of the first bite you take of a warm, crisp, buttery French croissant. Your senses of smell, sight, touch, taste, and even hearing are all involved. That is luxury. Now apply this to Scripture. God may have told Jeremiah and Ezekiel that His Word is like honey, but I would suggest it is like a French croissant, too. Spiritual luxury means being so immersed in your relationship with God that all five senses are involved. We are to delight in God with our whole heart, mind, soul, strength, and spirit. We should long for Him more than the deer pants for water and the child yearns for its mother’s embrace.

Live in Spiritual Luxury

So how do we live in spiritual luxury? In other words, how do we make God’s glory our daily, delicious delight? Daily. That’s the hard part. We all have mountaintop experiences—at a Christian conference or concert or viewing a breathtaking sunrise. But how do you find it in the mundane?

Delighting in God is the way to a well-grounded identity in Him. It will look different for each of us because God is way too creative to do things the same way twice. You are an original, and the way your God-ordained life of spiritual luxury will play out is utterly unique, beautiful, and inspiring.

Find Fulfillment in Him

There is a final element to spiritual luxury that draws me deeper into His throne room in awe and worship every day: I know that in Christ, success is guaranteed. In other words, when I decide to delight in God’s glory daily, I align myself with His will for me and am therefore poised for a successful, fulfilling, and delightfully satisfying life. The ultimate spiritual luxury is to define success as making God’s glory our delight every day—and then actually living out a life of spiritual luxury. I cannot wait to see what He will do in and through you when you step into a successful life of spiritual luxury in Christ. Taste and see … He is good indeed.

Stephanie Rousselle is founder of

Gospel Spice Ministries and host of the Gospel Spice podcast, reaching a global audience in over 120 countries. Through her podcast, Stephanie helps believers to spice up their relationship with God through indepth Bible teachings and flavorful stories. Go to gospelspice.com for more info.

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Because I know how I used to struggle with the suggestion that morning is the best time for quiet time, I am simply inviting you to come taste and see what happens. Most of us can afford to carve out a few mo-

From your morning coffee onward, your day is probably full of routine elements. I am not a routine person—I thrive on change and a fast pace—but I love how grounding some routine can be to grow my faith through spiritual disciplines. Yet even spiritual routine can be swapped out now and then. There is such variety that you never should feel bored: Scripture memorization, prayer, Bible study, journaling, acts of service, fasting, worship, singing, and even reading Christian authors are only a few of the spiritual disciplines that can spice up your daily walk with God. They provide different textures and flavors to enthrall and challenge your mind and your heart, inviting you into the spiritual luxury of involving your five senses.

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Think of something you do every day. For example, I take coffee—black, no sugar please—as I meet with God every morning, when the sun is still deep below the horizon. It’s not that I like getting up early, but I have learned to cherish my alone time with Him more than the warmth of my comforter. He has become the better Comforter, indeed. (Not to mention, I love putting caffeine to work for the glory of God—and my delight.)

ments in the morning—with the exception, perhaps of young moms or those caring for loved ones who are ill.

faith CHATS

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AN IMPERFECT LIFE 18

Michele Cushatt has found hope and peace in the hard places. Interview by Ann M. Cook

he phone rang. Michele Cushatt was in her usual happy place getting ready for her favorite holiday—Thanksgiving. She was looking forward to hosting and preparing all the delicious dishes and desserts her family had come to love, so her week was taken up with making plans for this special day. However, what she heard on the other end of the phone took her breath away and dropped her to her knees. The words forever changed her life. “I’m so sorry Michele, it’s not good,” her doctor said. That day, cancer was invited to Michele’s Thanksgiving table. Earlier in the week, to be on the safe side, Michele’s doctor biopsied a tiny ulcer on the side of her tongue but told her not to worry about it. “I put it out of my mind, immersed in the Thanksgiving preparations. Now, what was I to do? All of my fears flashed before me. I pulled myself together and made an over-the-top Thanksgiving dinner for my family and close friends—this is how I handle stress.” But, while everyone was enjoying the meal, Michele snuck away to her room and fell apart. “The thought of my own mortality was crushing and my fears about what lie ahead paralyzed me; the fear of death overwhelmed me.” In a moment, Michele was shaken out of the malaise of thinking she would live forever. She was only 39 at the time. That call changed her life in ways she could have never imagined and started her on a journey where God proved His faithfulness over and over again. Michele had just launched her writing and speaking career when the diagnosis came: squamous cell cancer of the tongue. Fortunately, it was caught in the early stage. The surgery was painful, and she had a challenging recovery, but afterwards, she was able to put her cancer neatly on a shelf because she was cancer-free.

Within three years of bringing the children home, Michele had a second life-threatening recurrence of her cancer requiring more extensive surgery with chemo and radiation therapy. It then returned a third time nine months later, with more surgery, pain, and another lengthy recovery. Her winding, rocky road continued—but through it all, she found God’s presence in the deepest and darkest places of her pain and questions.

Today, God has given Michele a platform as an author, speaker, and coach with a powerful message of faith and hope to encourage hurting people. Her unanticipated life is the very thing that makes her so relatable and real. She lights up the room with her beautiful, engaging smile and she exudes a contagious warmth and trust in a God who has never failed her. Women immediately connect with her vulnerability and dynamic faith. Just Between Us sat down with Michele to talk about the hard stuff of her life and how God’s presence and faithfulness has carried her through the unimaginable. We hope you will be as inspired by her story as we are!

JBU: What prepared you to handle the different crises you’ve faced? Michele: Frankly, I wasn’t very prepared at all. Earlier in my life, I looked at faith as if it was a math equation: 2+2=4. I was under the illusion that if I did everything right, I’d get the answer I expected. I went to a Christian college, married a pastor, and practiced a healthy lifestyle— no smoking, rarely drinking, and I ran triathlons! How could I have a severe hardship like cancer at my age? The notion of having a perfect life was shattered several years earlier during my divorce, which led to my first faith crisis. The stigma of divorce as a Christian woman was unbearable for me. It took a long time to come to grips with the shame and embarrassment of being a divorced, single parent of a young son. I thought I wasn’t fit for kingdom work anymore, that I was tainted in some way. During this first crisis, I tried for a while to live without God, but that turned out to be just as painful. The only difference was—I was alone and in pain. I came to realize that God’s presence in my life was what I really needed to cling to. I didn’t need to understand everything; I just needed Him. This gave me somewhat of a foundation for what was to come. Prior to my cancer diagnosis, I thought I had been through enough in my life and wouldn’t face another monumental crisis. I had remarried successfully, and we were living as a blended family with three teenage boys. Life was good again, so I thought I was in the clear. After my cancer diagnosis, I realized I could do everything right and still end up with a life that went wrong.

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Jennifer Faris Photography

Eight months out from her surgery and still recuperating, Michele and her husband, Troy, received another life-altering phone call. “Would you consider taking in three abused and traumatized children—four-yearold twins and a five-year old?” So many things went through Michele’s mind. How, with all she’s physically going through, could she possibly even consider a request like this? She and Troy wrestled before God, but twenty-four hours later, they were on their way to pick up the three siblings in a Walmart parking lot!

Michele is a three-time cancer survivor. Her unexpected, painful, and at times unbearable life, has caused her to dig deep within her soul to find God’s presence, faithfulness, and love, which enables her to live with what she can’t control. Her story is detailed in her first book, Undone—a story of making peace with an unexpected life (Zondervan, 2015).

JBU: Have you ever asked yourself, “Why me, Lord?”

JBU: What has God’s Word meant to you?

Michele: Yes, and I’ve had lots of other questions and fears. When my cancer came back for the second time, one third of my tongue was removed, requiring a graft, and I needed eight weeks to relearn how to eat, drink, and talk again. Since I make my living by talking and communicating, this was very difficult.

Michele: Because of all I’ve experienced, I’m continually drawn to God’s Word. This is where I meet God and experience Him. I’m particularly drawn to Romans 8 and 2 Corinthians 4, but there are so many passages I reflect on. Rather than shutting down, my fears and doubts drove me to seek truth by digging deeply into God’s Word. And I have also studied books by authors like Tim Keller and Philip Yancey that have helped me along this journey.

It took more than two years for me to physically recover enough to return to a semi-normal life. And although the physical suffering was overwhelming, the emotional and spiritual wounds proved to be even more difficult. I asked where God was in the middle of so much pain and loss. He seemed silent, indifferent, and I feared He abandoned me. And eight weeks after my second bout with cancer, my father called to tell me he had stage-four pancreatic cancer. I wasn’t sure I could take much more. My dad lived for only three more months. I asked God, “Why? I don’t understand. We prayed for good news, why didn’t You give us good news?” It was then I felt God say to me, “You do have the Good News.” How could I answer that, knowing I have the ultimate Good News?

JBU: How do you accept suffering when it doesn’t have an end date? Michele: I think being okay with suffering may be an unrealistic expectation. Acceptance may never totally happen. Suffering is part of the human experience, part of the Christian experience, and Jesus’s suffering on the cross is evidence we don’t need to be okay with it. When I was told my cancer was back for the third time, it was very aggressive. I was given two weeks to get my affairs in order and told this cancer may not have an end date. The nine-hour surgery was extensive, with major tongue reconstruction and other repairs. I couldn’t drink for two weeks and had chemo and radiation therapy following the surgery. My recovery was extensive and extremely painful at times. To this day, it’s an ongoing choice to get up and live each day empowered by Christ. I know I’m marked by the things that have wounded me. I have long-term problems as a result of my surgeries and treatments. It’s hard for me to talk. I have severe radiation burns on my neck, and I have multiple disabilities because of this disease. This is a very difficult cancer to have.

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JBU: Where do you find your comfort?

Michele: Pain can cause us to feel isolated and far away from God. Jesus Himself asked when He was on the cross, “Why are You forsaking Me?” He experienced more suffering and pain than I ever will. When I feel abandoned by God, I crawl up to the cross. God’s presence is in the places of pain. He always chooses to go where the pain is—our pain. Jesus was willing to abandon His own comfort and take on the shame of human sin and suffering, so I find my comfort in the cross.

When I was younger, I thought the Bible was there to tell me what I was supposed to do. Now, I look at it through the lens of suffering. Jesus was willing to experience pain and suffering in this world so we could find salvation in Him and not be alone in our own suffering. The Bible, from Genesis to Revelation, is the story of God redeeming us from our sin and meeting us in our brokenness.

JBU: How have you seen cancer in a positive way? Michele: I can let the cancer derail me, define me, or develop me. I’ve chosen to let it develop me. John Piper has said, “Don’t begrudge the school of suffering.” Suffering is a classroom that has produced in me something I could never have done on my own; I have experienced God’s grace through my suffering. The criminal on the cross next to Jesus had nothing to give, no ability to work his way to faith, and he deserved nothing. He just asked Jesus to remember him. Jesus responded, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise” (Luke 23:42-43). In my severest suffering, I’ve had nothing to bring or give. I’ve only been able to receive Him and His grace; it’s not about what I can offer. When I have absolutely nothing to give, that is when God uses me the most.

JBU: What was it like to adopt your children? Michele: We had just sold our Ford Expedition because we were soon becoming empty nesters! It was something we were so looking forward to, so we were in the process of planning our future when the call came. It was such a hard thing to even think about. How could we go back to parenting not just very young children, but children who were so deeply troubled and traumatized? At 16, I had committed my life to serving God thinking it would be on the mission field. I felt in my heart that God was not asking us to go but was asking us to stay. Was I willing to do what He asked of me in this situation despite all the challenges particularly with my health? God changed the mission I had envisioned. In a strange way, our own broken story of the trauma of divorce, stepfamilies, and cancer had given us empathy to understand where these broken children were coming from. But it was incredibly hard. When you put a bunch of broken people together in one house, it isn’t going to be easy!

Pictured: Michele and Troy (center) with their family.

JBU: How has God answered your prayer to live a life of service for Him?

but it isn’t always easy. Don’t let the doubts derail you; have the courage to ask the hard questions.

Michele: As I’ve said in my books, I’ve lived an unexpected life and have learned to make peace with it. I’ve been able to serve God in ways I never thought I would. Tim Keller said, “If we knew what God knows, we would ask exactly for what He gives.” Someday when we know the final outcome of our lives, I think this will be true. We each have a unique way to serve God and what we go through brings us to this place. This is a hard mercy. If I could go back to my 16-year-old self and God told me I would be able to speak and help hundreds of people and encourage them along the way, would I be willing to go through what I have.

As I’ve said in my book Undone, “We have an incredible Author pulling it all together for the perfect end. Ours is a God who heals all things sick, who redeems all things lost, who brings orphans together in unusual families, and who weaves all frail and broken things into a glorious overall whole. A story. His story. When we reach the final page, regardless of what happens between now and then, hope wins.”

I’m able to meet people in the hard places and give them hope in Christ. I never would have thought that my journey would bring me to this place, but real service to God is pointing others to Him, in whatever circumstances you find yourself. I’m always surrendering— it’s not a one-and-done for me! God uses my gift of communicating in authentic and sometimes humorous ways. All I can do is run my race. “Therefore, since we’re surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses…let us run with endurance the race set before us” (Heb. 12:1).

Resources from Michele

JBU: What has been the most helpful to you from others? What hasn’t been helpful?

I Am: A 60-Day Journey to Knowing Who You Are Because of Who He Is (Zondervan, 2017) Filled with raw personal stories, rock-solid biblical teaching, and radical truths to help you rebuild your life with the help of I Am.

Michele: Don’t be quick to make me feel better. People rush in too quickly to solve a problem, to stop the suffering. We aren’t comfortable with suffering and so we’re not very good at entering into another’s pain. Sometimes all you need to say is, “I’m sorry for your pain.” Remember, it’s not about you. When someone is suffering, make it about them. Texts and thank you notes may not be a priority when someone is suffering; please remember to give them grace.

WEBSITE: Michelecushatt.com. BOOKS: Undone: A story of making peace with an unexpected life (Zondervan, 2015) Michele describes her journey with cancer and how her faith grew as she lived a life that she never expected.

Relentless—the unshakable presence of a God who never leaves (Zondervan, 2019) Delves into the question of where is God in the midst of pain, trauma, and suffering. Coming Soon! A Faith That Will Not Fail (Zondervan, March 2023) Ten practices that will strengthen your confidence in God’s daily presence and power, helping you to discover a faith strong enough to endure even the most difficult circumstances.

Ann M. Cook MSN, RN, is a retired

nurse and nursing instructor. She and her husband, Randy, enjoy three grown children, a son and daughter-in-law, and five delightful grandchildren. She lives in Waukesha, Wis.

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Michele: I know that God is with me when life is going well and in the dark times. He never changes. The doubts and fear I’ve experienced are not a destination, it’s been a driver. My faith gave me the courage to ask the hard questions: “Is God real?” If He’s real, “Is He good?” If He’s good, “Will I trust Him?” That was the ultimate question I needed to answer. Yes, I do trust Him,

Find honest conversations about real faith and real relationships in hard places through Michele’s resources.

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JBU: How does your faith give you courage?

Your life may be unexpected, and you may feel like you’ve been undone like I have, but remember your story isn’t done yet—so run your race!

Truth, Joy WALK IN

LIVE IN

WHY IT MATTERS!

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by Marci Dittmer

I live in a post-truth world. In fact, we all live in a posttruth world. Post-truth does not mean truth no longer exists. It means, according to the Oxford dictionary, that, “objective facts are less influential in shaping public opinion than appeals to emotion and personal belief.” In other words, the world bases truth on feelings rather than facts. If I feel that something is true, then it is acceptable, even encouraged, to believe that it is true. Personal truth reigns supreme. The idea of personal truth reminds me of the poem “The Blind Men and the Elephant” by John Godfrey Saxe. Six blind men come upon an elephant. One bumps into its side and determines it is a wall, while a second touches its tusk and claims it is a spear. The third pronounces it is a snake after holding its trunk, and the fourth feels its knee and proclaims it is a tree. The fifth, who touches its ear, believes it is a fan, and the last seizes its tail and says it is a rope. Each blind man creates his own truth about the elephant based on his own experience. Are our personal truths valid? I attended a family dinner this past summer and, during a conversation about my faith, one person said to me, “What’s true for you isn’t true for me.” Do you know anyone who lives according to their own truth? Have you struggled with truth being something one day and something different the next day? Does truth even matter anymore?

THE SOURCE OF TRUTH

Truth does matter, but the truth that matters does not come from our own feelings and experiences. It is not unique to each individual. Our source of truth is the Bible, the Word of God—and not only does God’s Word reveal the truth, but it also commands us to live according to that truth. When we walk in the truth of the Scriptures, we will live in joy! Three John 1:3-4 shows how God’s truth in both our hearts and lives brings joy: “It gave me great joy when some believers came and testified about your faithfulness to the truth, telling how you continue to walk in it. I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”

The apostle John writes in his third epistle that he had heard that his disciple Gaius possessed this truth. We do not know much about Gaius, but we do know from John that Gaius was a beloved fellow believer in the faith and held fast to the truth of the gospel. He kept it in his mind. He treasured it in his heart. He professed it with his lips. In other words, Gaius loved God like Deut. 6:4 says: “with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his might.”

WALKING IN TRUTH

It is one thing for us to know this truth and have it in our hearts, but it’s another thing to live it out in our lives. Scripture tells us that we must walk in truth. Charles Spurgeon explained walking in the truth when he said, “Truth must enter into the soul, penetrate, and saturate it, or else it is of no value. Truth must be a living force, an active energy, an indwelling reality.” To walk in truth, then, means to live in ways made known to us in Scripture, specifically as we look at the life and ministry of Jesus. John says at the end of verse three and again in verse four that Gaius walked in the truth. John kept emphasizing this fact. Gaius practiced truth and he was

The Church needs each of usuthto faithrully walk in the tr in the places He calls us.

faithful to it. Samuel Cox, a well-known Bible expositor from the 1800s, described Gaius like this, “He did not look one way and walk another. He did not say one thing and mean another. He did not approve the better and follow the worse course. There was no hypocrisy, no insincerity, in him. He, the whole man, was ‘in the truth.’” We find in 3 John 5-6 a specific way that Gaius walked in the truth. John wrote to Gaius, “Dear friend, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers and sisters, even though they are strangers to you. They have told the church about your love.” These strangers that John mentioned were missionaries who traveled to various churches to spread the gospel. Gaius received them and welcomed them into his home. He fed them and gave them a place to sleep. Instead of treating them as strangers, he treated them like guests. Gaius was a witness to the truth when he did this. Thus, he followed the second commandment: he loved his neighbor as himself (Deut. 6:5).

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By doing so, Gaius became a fellow-worker for the truth. As a worker, he did not preach sermons, teach Bible

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The truth that John mentions is a truth that we possess as believers. John MacArthur describes this truth as “that which is consistent with the mind, will, character, glory, and being of God.” I would add that truth is Jesus Christ, the eternally begotten Son of God, and no truth exists apart from Him. Jesus emphasized this in John 14:6 when He said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” The truth is found in the gospel.

GAIUS—A MAN LIVING IN THE TRUTH

When we keep the truth ofmiGndods, in the forefront of our it will influence the way we live our lives. studies, or visit the sick, as many others did. Instead, he showed hospitality to missionaries. The Church needs each of us to faithfully walk in the truth in the places He calls us.

WHEN WE POSSESS THE TRUTH

When we keep the truth of God in the forefront of our minds, it will influence the way we live our lives. As Christians, we are called to be like Jesus. In Galatians 6:10, the apostle Paul writes, “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” The truth of the gospel needs to become a reality in our everyday lives. When we walk as Jesus walked and love like Jesus loved, the world will take notice and see truth in love and action.

JOY FOLLOWS

A byproduct of walking in truth is joy. Joy comes because the truth sets us free—free from a post-truth world that is deeply confused about truth and free from the feelings and experiences that lure us away from God’s truth. This freedom allows us to experience a deep abiding peace, because of the source of our truth—God Himself who is in control of all things. That alone is reason to rejoice.

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In 3 John verse four, John talks about the joy he experiences because Gaius walks in truth: “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”

Have you ever heard someone say, “There is no greater joy than leading a person to Christ?” Perhaps you have experienced the joy of sharing the gospel to someone who accepted it and believed in Jesus Christ as personal Savior and Lord. Although I would agree that such an experience brings great joy, I believe an even greater joy comes when that friend walks with the Lord, never to return to her past life or her former actions. In other words, when that person becomes a disciple, a true follower of Christ.

Dwight L. Moody said: “If you will show me a Bible Christian living on the Word of God, I will show you a joyful person. [She] is mounting up all the time. [She] has got new truths that lift [her] up over every obstacle, and [she] mounts over difficulties higher and higher …as if [she] just touched the ground with her foot, over a wall or a hedge [she] would go; and so, these truths make us so light that we bound over every obstacle.” This joy that John and Moody write about differs from happiness. Happiness is based on circumstances that are going well in our lives. We might consider happiness as the ocean’s surface. The wind and weather affect it, and ships disturb it. Joy, on the other hand, comes from the Lord. Joy remains, regardless of the trials around us, because it comes from knowing that God is in control. The ocean depth represents joy. It remains calm and still, despite the wind, the weather, and passing ships above it. The great joy described in 3 John comes when we serve God and others. Our lives and their lives are changed as we remain faithful to the truth. Living in a post-truth world, we must remember that truth resides in God—not in me, not in you, and not in our feelings or experiences or the latest opinions of the culture. As we ground ourselves in the Truth by walking in it, we’ll show love toward our sisters, brothers, and even strangers in our lost and confused world. Especially now, where there is a confusion of what truth is, we need to hold fast to God’s truth and live it. Let us be women whose lives are shaped by God’s truth and not the shifting truth of the world, so we can walk in truth and live in joy!

Marci Dittmer recently graduated

from Dallas Theological Seminary with a Master’s Degree in Christian Education. Additionally, she serves as women’s minister and small groups associate at Christ Church in Plano, Tex.

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In 2005, following the tragedy of September 11, 2001, Gail Goolsby reluctantly found herself the founding principal of the International School of Kabul in Afghanistan. The how, when, and why make for a captivating and insightful story. Available everywhere books and ebooks are sold online.

Gail Goolsby holds master’s degrees in Professional Counseling and Educational Leadership. She has over 25 years educational experience as teacher, school counselor, and principal, working both in the United States of America and the International School of Kabul in Afghanistan. As a counselor and ICF certified life coach, Gail writes, speaks, and helps others Learn to Live Well. Visit her site at

gailgoolsby.com.

New Release!

Make Up Your Mind: Unlock Your Thoughts, Transform Your Life By Denise Pass M.A. and Michelle Nietert, M.A., Licensed Professional Counselor Price: $19.99 13-ISBN: 9781614841265

www.D6family.com “What we think, often determines what we do. Most of us are acquainted with distorted and negative thoughts. When we allow these thoughts to settle in our minds, they often lead to destructive behavior. Make Up Your Mind is a roadmap, combining the expertise Denise shares as a compassionate Bible teacher and mentor with the additional insights of Michelle, a licensed counselor, that will help you break free from negative patterns of thinking.” Gary Chapman, Ph.D., author of The 5 Love Languages

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s a single woman and foster mom, I wed in my late thirties, so we moved to a different neighborhood. After living several years at our new address, I had a stunning realization: if someone created a lineup of people and offered me a million dollars to pick out my neighbors, I wouldn’t be able to do it (with the exception being the couple whose driveway sat a few feet from ours). Somehow, opposing schedules mixed with my unobservant and introverted ways made me blind to individuals who lived within eyesight. Jesus said to love my neighbors—but I didn’t even know them (Jas. 2:8). Disturbed by my realization, I immediately resolved to correct what I knew to be wrong. Providentially, Halloween transpired a short time later. My husband and I chose to hand out candy sitting in our driveway (eliminating constant “ding dongs” from the doorbell). As neighbors accompanied their costumed children, I collected several names while

YOUR NEIGHBORS

Make the first move with the people on your street. by Renee Smith asking parents to point in the direction of their homes. I met more neighbors in one evening than I had since we moved in. However, knowing my neighbors as acquaintances wasn’t going to pass muster. The next day I sought to build upon our friendly exchanges from the previous night. Taking a few 3 x 5 cards and envelopes, I wrote about a half dozen notes. In each one, I used the neighbor’s name, expressed gratitude for our meeting, wrote my name and mobile number, and invited them to dinner—that night. The notecard said that a simple menu of hamburgers, hotdogs, chips, and s’mores would be served. I then rang doorbells, hand delivering each envelope while verbally expressing gratitude for becoming acquainted (letting the invitation do its job, lest anyone feel put on the spot). Surprisingly, even on such short notice, nearly every one of the neighbors texted shortly after my visit and said, “Yes!”

That event, the first neighborly dinner in our backyard, began a chain of events that has resulted in a collage of friendships. Now, a few years since our initial introductions, our relationships are still growing. No doubt, I nearly missed the blessing of these social gatherings— these individuals—had I not consciously evaluated Christ’s command to love my neighbors, comparing His directive to the landscape of my life. Love could not be demonstrated to a person I did not know. Rather, my unconscious decision not to know them proved my heart’s apathy about them.

rie among women. The pandemic cramped our style, but we employed lawn chairs in a designated driveway and laughed as we carried on. Keeping with hospitality (Heb. 13:16), when the pandemic eased, I hosted a “Favorite Things” party.* And since several of us have remodeled portions of our 1960s homes, we planned our own “Parade of Homes” where each facelift could be seen by the group.

Employ plates or glassware

If my story stirs your spirit, take heart. Consider God’s great interest in your neighbors and your relationship with them. After all, the Lord works purposefully, placing non-Christians near His children so they may want to know Him (Acts 17:26). Resolve to invest time and energy in people whom God loves—particularly the ones who don’t know Him yet. As you initiate friendships among the women in your neighborhood (or as you continue to nurture your existing relationships), here are simple suggestions to aid your efforts:

Food enriches relationships and so does celebrating together. After getting to know my neighbors, I asked for each woman’s birthdate. I purchased a glass that read: “It’s my birthday month” at a dollar store. As one woman’s birthday approached, I wrapped the glass and left it on her porch. When her month ended, I instructed her to do the same for the next birthday girl. Today, the glass continues to circle our streets. For non-birthday occasions, I purchase pretty plates from a thrift store and deliver baked goods to neighbors for no other reason than to spread cheer.

Consider: Who is my neighbor?

Promote interdependence

We often take the simple words of Christ and convolute them (Luke 10:29). Jesus did not intend for our concept of “neighbor” to be abstract. Neighbors naturally include those within our neighborhoods (or apartment buildings).

Overcome fear/rejection

Seek to be inclusive, when a home sells on or near your street be deliberate about welcoming the new woman of the house. My standard approach is to leave a note and a bag of candy on her door, inviting her into our clan. Of all the greetings I have extended, a few have gone unacknowledged. I have learned that not all women want to be knit in, but I can be satisfied knowing none have been left out.

Offering assistance to a friend helps alleviate her having to ask for it, a practice so hard for so many. When I go to the grocery or hardware store, I often text my neighbors and ask if anyone needs anything. I have also given ingredients for recipes to neighbors when they fall short. Doing what we can in the moment, no matter how small, is the gospel in action (Jas. 2:15-16). Getting to know and love our neighbors is God’s desire for us. Initiating small steps can reap beautiful fruit, especially if we treat God’s command as an adventure and not a burden. Only God can make a relationship grow (1 Cor. 3:7), but we can find satisfaction in knowing we’ve sought to love our neighbors sincerely, as God has directed.

Find what works

Be intentional about what works for others’ schedules, not just your own. As the women in my neighborhood began feeling connected, I proposed we meet periodically for supper. The women explained that gathering after dinner (for tea/drinks and dessert) was preferred. We have adopted that standard, yielding to their preference (Phil. 2:4).

Keep it fun

with her husband in North Carolina, where she enjoys creating stationery, reading, and investing in relationships. After accepting (then exiting) a job at her beloved church, God touched Renee’s life deeply, an experience she chronicles in the book Leaving My Megachurch Life. Contact Renee at: holyunexpected@gmail.com.

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Planning simple but fun activities creates camarade-

Renee Smith is an administrative/HR professional who lives

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Additionally, employ a tool to facilitate open lines of communication. Many of my neighbors expressed a desire to stay readily connected via our smart phones. Of those interested, some preferred a group text and others proposed we create a group dialogue using some different app(s). Going with the majority, we adopted a text thread, a means to communicate that we respect and don’t abuse.

*“Favorite Things” party: Each participant buys (two identical) products they love (e.g., a consumable kitchen gadget, etc.). We set the dollar value at $10 per item ($20 total investment). When the women arrive, separate the identical (unwrapped) items, and create two piles. Take time for each woman to explain the product she brought. If ten women participate, each woman then draws a number blindly, 1-10. Starting with #1, the participant chooses an item from the pile, repeating this through #10. Then, reverse the order. #10 will now choose first from the second pile of favorite things, working back to #1.

courageous WOMEN

LET FEAR BECOME Being uncomfortable is better than being unchanged.

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by Laura Sandretti

Courageous is probably amongst the last adjectives I would use to describe myself. Boring, ordinary, and sheltered are probably better descriptors for this germo-phobic, stay-at-home mom who has lived safely and comfortably in the suburbs for the past thirty years.

same as fearlessness. One of my favorite definitions of courage is, “the ability to do something that frightens one.” Although I’m almost perpetually a “frightened one,” this definition makes courage seem possible even for me.

Ten years ago, however, the Lord opened my eyes to people and places I once deemed unsafe. Today, I volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center in the inner city. I am called “Moms” by the twenty-one-year-old African American man I’ve mentored since he was twelve. Although I’m often intimidated by women, I disciple eight women every week. How do we move from comfortable to courageous? How do we step into the unknown places the Lord calls us when we feel unsure and ill-equipped?

I’ve suffered from anxiety almost my entire life and I began having panic attacks around the age of five. I’m afraid of heights, large insects, and what people think of me. So, when we decided to start mentoring an orphan from the inner city who had severe learning and emotional disabilities, the last thing I felt was courageous. I was afraid of everything about this young man. I worried my children would resent the time and energy he would require. Many of my friends questioned my safety and sanity, which made me worry even more.

Forget Fearlessness

One of the ways we can move outside our comfort zone is to remember courageousness is not the

When I turned to God’s Word, however, I realized that when the Lord called people out of their comfort zone, they were afraid, too. Moses asked the Lord to send

someone else to save the Israelites (Exo. 4:13b). Mary was greatly troubled when Gabriel greeted her (Luke 1:29). Paul traveled to Damascus blind and afraid (Acts 9:5). God’s people weren’t courageous because they were fearless. They were courageous because they were obedient despite their fear.

empties, I too have started feeling old and irrelevant. Imagine my surprise when a recent college graduate I’d met while volunteering in the inner city asked me to disciple her. I was even more shocked when about a month later, a friend told me her sixteen-year-old daughter wanted me to mentor her.

Last month, I emceed a fundraiser luncheon for a mental health facility located in a wealthy suburb outside Milwaukee. Later that day, I taught the Bible to former prison inmates in a part of Milwaukee known for gang violence. Which took more courage? For me, it was stepping into a room of well-dressed women and having to decide which of the three forks at my place setting I was supposed to use to eat my salad. Being courageous includes being uncomfortable, and that looks different for everyone.

Why was I nervous about discipling these young women? For one thing, my 82-year-old mother-in-law is more technologically savvy than me. What if these women rolled their eyes at or stopped meeting with me because I actually am old and irrelevant? What if they regretted asking to meet with me? What if I didn’t have the ability to do this frightening thing? However, after praying about it, I decided to say yes for one reason. I remembered my rescue.

Photographer

: Jill Ann Mel

ton

Mind What Matters

When New York passed the Reproductive Health Act in 2019, expanding abortion rights and decriminalizing abortion in the state, I realized I had to do more than pray for the unborn. I had to do something. I looked online and found out about Care Net, a pro-life crisis pregnancy center in Milwaukee. I drove there the following week and asked how I could help. Since then, I’ve folded and sorted clothes, written curriculum, and taken care of the babies and toddlers in our mom’s group. In Scripture when Queen Esther was faced with the possibility of being sentenced to death for trying to save her people, she was riddled with fear. However, her cousin Mordecai reminded her that there would be consequences if she failed to act. After praying and fasting, Esther was able to exhibit unimaginable courage, but not because she knew she would be safe or successful. She was courageous because in the end, she realized what mattered most—not her own safety, but saving her people. Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” Sometimes being courageous simply means taking one step into the unknown for something or someone significant. Stephen was willing to die to share Christ’s love and forgiveness with the Pharisees (Acts 7). Abraham left his homeland because the Lord asked him to go to Canaan (Gen. 12-13). Mary poured perfume that was worth a year’s wages on Jesus’ feet while the religious elite condemned her (Mark 14:1-11). How do we take a step toward that which we are afraid of? By being mindful of things that matter for eternity. Years ago, a mentor told me she felt old and irrelevant speaking to young mom’s groups. I couldn’t imagine someone I admired thinking she was either of those things. However, as my hair grays and my nest

Get Rid of Glamour

Although I wouldn’t change many things about the past ten years, the ability to do something that frightens me has not always been easy or pretty. I’ve spent an exorbitant amount of time helping the man who calls me Mom secure housing, employment, and other resources. I’ve spent hours with him in courtrooms, shelters, and meetings. I’ve heard stories at the pregnancy center that have haunted me for days. There have been children I’ve wanted to rescue and women I’ve wanted to bring home. However, what I’ve learned the past ten years, is being uncomfortable is always better than being unchanged. I’ve also realized that no matter how small or insignificant a step toward the uncomfortable things God calls us to may seem, a step is still something. A step is still the ability to do something that frightens you. A step, no matter how small or slow, is significant in God’s economy, and a step is always courageous.

Laura Sandretti is a speaker, author, and blogger, and

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has a Master’s Degree in Theological Studies from Trinity Evangelical School. Additionally, she has authored three books. Her newest one, Believe Deeper: To Expose Doubt and Transform Faith comes out this month (available on Amazon and laurasandretti. com). Laura and her husband have three children and live in Sussex, Wis. Visit her blog, Everyday Sinner, at laurasandretti.com.

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Remember Your Rescue

Jesus rescued me from panic attacks and the bondage of anxiety. He gave me wisdom and discernment beyond myself in my marriage and in raising my three children. More recently, He’s been moving what I know about the power of His grace and forgiveness from concepts I believed only in my head, to realities that are impacting my real life and relationships. He’s been rescuing me from the weight and disappointment of trying to be a “good Christian” by helping me remember who He says I am. He died to give me righteousness and acceptance regardless of how successful I am at navigating Snapchat or being a nicer human. And when you’ve been rescued like that, to abstain from helping others who want to meet your Rescuer, no matter how intimidating that may be, seems almost ridiculous.

Song

WIRED FOR

Choosing to worship during trials.

by Carol MacLeod

The choice to worship is perhaps the most powerful choice that a believer can make, especially during the difficult days of life. If you long to stormproof your heart, you will choose to open your mouth and sing to your Creator even when you don’t feel like it! Perhaps, the most vital time to choose to worship is especially when you don’t feel like it! Storms are assured this side of heaven’s glory; you will not escape the hurricane of disappointment, the blizzard of pain, or the tornado of trauma as you live a life for the glory of God. Even Jesus said, “In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

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If you deeply desire to keep your power at full strength during the storms of life, you will make the difficult (but necessary) decision to continue to sing loudly even in the rain. When I go through a storm in life, I may cry but I also will worship! I may sob but I also will sing! I may weep but I also will praise the Lord of my salvation. I have learned that the best times to praise the Lord are actually the very worst days of my life.

As Christians, we have a deep, spiritual joy that remains unhindered regardless of what is happening in the natural. The choice to worship in the storm is the determination to walk by faith and not by sight. The ability to rejoice while in intense human pain takes faith. James 1:2-3 says, “Consider it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.” The faith of a Christian who is able to rejoice in a trial grows stronger and even more durable than prior

to the trial. The faith of a woman who is able to sing through her sorrow is more precious than the most valuable and durable commodity known to mankind! “In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which perishes though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ (1 Pet. 1:6–7). We sing in the fires of life and during the storms of life because it is not our circumstances that we worship. We sing heartfelt praise to our good, good Father, who is always working every detail of our lives for our good and for His glory.

For Your Heart

• Do you believe that it is possible to worship the Lord even when you don’t like your life? Why or why not? • How is choosing to praise the Lord when you are going through a trial a faith issue? • Do you know someone who is going through a tough time? How can you encourage this friend today?

Heartfelt Prayer

Lord Jesus, I declare that I will sing in the rain! I have made the decision to worship You even when my heart is breaking. You are good and You are worthy of my highest praise. In Jesus’s name, I pray. Amen.

Carol MacLeod is President and CEO

of Carol McLeod Ministries, the author of a dozen books, a popular podcaster, and an in-demand speaker. The above excerpt is from her new Whitaker House release, At Home in Your Heart: Inviting Christ into Every Room.

H ow do we parent our kids in ways that lead to lasting faith? Sarah Cowan Johnson unpacks how parents can have an active discipleship role in forming their children’s faith. Filled with exercises and activities for families to do together, this handbook is an essential resource for discipling children with confidence and creativity.

is a ministry trainer, consultant, and coach who works with church planters, pastors, and ministry leaders across the United States. She leads seminars for parents on family discipleship to help their children walk in the way of Jesus.

shop ivpress.com

WHEN MENTAL ILLNESS

Hits Home How to walk alongside hurting families.

by Laura DeNooyer-Moore

don’t write Christmas newsletters anymore. I used to love sharing the kids’ achievements and humorous anecdotes—until it became an exercise similar to social media posts, creating the appearance of the perfect family.

When I started despising similar newsletters from friends, I stopped writing mine. It felt like perpetuating a lie. We were broken, but nobody wants to hear about that. We found ourselves in unexpected places—not unlike other families who try hiding behind the veneer of perfection. Gradually, the ideal of being the perfect family flew out the door. The ideal of maintaining the perfect facade flew out shortly after that. And there’s no hiding some situations, especially at church.

Present in Rough Places

Fortunately, our community group stands strong with unfaltering families as listening ears and prayer warriors. They provide empathy without judgement. Unfortunately, this is not always so with others. Many in the church don’t know how to handle tough scenarios, especially ones involving addiction or mental illness. It can be easier to just walk away from things you don’t understand or that feel awkward—like depression, anxiety, seasonal affective disorder, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, and the fallout from each. It can be easy to turn away when “troubled” people walk into church. In contrast, some—not understanding the challenges— dive right in and say things that can be hurtful. Once, at a women’s event, a nurse flippantly shared anecdotes about addicts who stumbled into the ER. One of the women present had just been to that same ER with her addict child four times.

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But what about those who do know? It can still be difficult for people to reach out even by less threatening methods like text or email.

Carry each other’s burdens, and in thistis .way, you will fulfill the law of Chr

Mental illness is the disease that most people suffer in silence with because of all the stigmas. Nobody uses Caring Bridge or Meal Trains for wayward children. Church-wide prayer requests aren’t generally called in for kids with unorthodox behavior. Women don’t normally bring casseroles for manic whirlwinds or overdoses. This exacerbates the loneliness of having an “untouchable” situation. It’s not like having a sick child or surviving a heart attack or going through cancer treatment. Those conditions are more easily understood and acceptable, so it’s natural for most people to show empathy, and to provide meals and ongoing help.

Present with Respect

The stigma of mental illness engenders undeserved shame. With or without true guilt, shame and judgement go together. If it’s not self-condemnation, others’ judgements and criticisms prevail—the standard blame we assign parents when their kids go off the rails. There’s also the issue of privacy, particularly with an adult child. Not everyone can be trusted with our heartaches. We need to discern who the safe ones are, otherwise, we can cower in silence.

How to Help

So how can the average layperson come alongside families who struggle with mental illness or addiction? The following tips have meant the most to my husband and me:

Show up. Sit in the ashes together. Yes, it will be

messy. Sometimes you’ll be sitting in silence. Other times, you’re listening more than talking. But mainly, you’re showing up. “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Prov. 18:24).

Ask how someone is doing. That might be just enough to encourage sharing and offer moral support. Let the other person dictate how much is said. But not inquiring can be translated as apathy and avoidance—even if you think it shows respect for privacy. “In humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others” (Phil. 2:3-4).

Accept rather than criticizing and advising. It’s too easy to cast blame and assume

place, but spouting Scripture platitudes without understanding a situation does more harm than good. Stay away from cliches. Instead, be an instrument of God’s love and grace. Truly listen before speaking. “To answer before listening—that is folly and shame” (Prov. 18:13). And “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak.” (Jas. 1:19).

Offer practical help. This could mean bring-

ing a meal, cleaning the house, offering rides, or sitting at the hospital. Don’t merely ask how to help; tell the family what you can do. People are more apt to receive offered help now then call later to ask for it. Be the hands and feet of Jesus. “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed” (Prov. 11:25).

Educate yourself. Read up on mental illness,

addiction, and treatments. Attend seminars. Arm yourself with knowledge. Mental illness is a real thing, impacted by brain wiring, hormones, and numerous other factors. A person with mental illness has no control over their condition and is unable to just “snap out of it” no matter how hard they try. And it’s not just a matter of reading the Bible or praying more. Mental illness can affect anyone at any time. “Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions” (Prov. 18:2). For a family floundering in the midst of a mental health crisis, it makes all the difference between feeling loved and supported or alone and ashamed. Let’s compassionately encourage those families struggling. “Encourage one another and build each other up” (1 Thess 5:11).

Resources to Help

Here are some helpful books to help you better understand and walk alongside families struggling with mental illness: Troubled Minds: Mental Illness and the Church’s Mission, by Amy Simpson Whispers in the Pews: Voices on Mental Illness in the Church, by Chris Morris

Laura DeNooyer-Moore, a novelist

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and mother of four, taught art and writing to middle and high school students. An award-winning author of historical fiction, she is president of her American Christian Fiction Writers-Wisconsin SE chapter. lauradenooyer-author.com

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cause and effect. But with troubled minds, logic goes out the window. Rules don’t always apply. Even if there is blame, this may not be the time to address it—like giving the proverbial swimming lessons to a drowning man instead of throwing a lifeline. Only a good friend earns the right to broach difficult topics and will use wisdom for the timing. But acceptance is the prerequisite. “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:2).

Listen instead of using Bible verses like a bandage. The Word of God definitely has its

ANOTHER

The misad

BAD HAIR DAY! . ir a h n ow r ou y g in ventures of cutt by Karen Rhea Newell

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I’ve kept a pair of shears next to my bathroom sink for decades. My mop of hair is thick and fortunately grows fast, hiding a multitude of self-imposed, amateur haircutting mistakes.

It typically went like this. Every few weeks, I’d trim my bangs. Getting carried away, I’d layer the sides to frame my face. Minutes in front of the mirror morphed into an hour-long task. Balancing a trash can in the sink, I’d contort my neck, so the majority of my locks fell into the wastebasket. By the time I put the scissors down, the back of my hair appeared attacked by a weed-whacker.

If that wasn’t bad enough, I also tried an at-home perm. Somewhere along the line, I began playing with hair colors. Originally a brunette, old photographs capture me as a Lucille Ball redhead, then oddly blond, and at one point, Elvira black. In various degrees of experimentation, attempts at highlights resulted in splotches of extreme color on top of my crown like spilled ceiling paint. Lengths varied from fairly long to incredibly short. So short, in fact, that when I drove through fast food joints or banks, employees took one look at me and asked, “Could I help you, sir?” That prompted me to wear lipstick, get my ears pierced, and raise the pitch of my voice at drive though-windows.

Why didn’t I just go to the hairdresser? Usually, my extreme clipping was out of frustration over a nonhair issue. There were no appointment times for that! Occasionally, I did need a professional to clean up my mess, but I didn’t like sitting still and never took the time to develop a trust relationship with a hair stylist. That changed when I was introduced to Cheryl, a fellow Christian. Her business was in her home. Many of my friends went to her for phenomenal coloring and cutting. We often scheduled our appointments during the same hours to catch up in lively conversation. Then I moved out of the area for six months while awaiting a settlement on my new home. Three hours from Cheryl’s shop, my old habits resurfaced. I set up my bathroom, placing my scissors within reach, knowing I wouldn’t see my hairdresser for a time. Then the pandemic hit.

The Incident

My highlights and lowlights grew out, exposing a full inch of gray. Isolation seemed like the ideal time to go natural, but I needed help. My search engine revealed several products that stripped away hair color. I masked up, ventured out to the drug store, and purchased the only color-stripping shampoo available. That afternoon, I applied it, showered, wrapped my hair in a towel, and got dressed. Before taking off the towel, I felt liberated. What would my gray look like? Salt and pepper? All gray? Or slightly brunette? As the towel fell to the bathroom floor, I gasped and burst out laughing. The product named “Uh-Oh!” should have been a clue. In their defense, I had skipped the instructions to test the product on a sliver of hair. Now my entire head was orange, very orange. My friends and Cheryl would never believe this, so I took a selfie. Then I grabbed my scissors. An hour later, my shoulder-length, carroty, clown-like disaster landed in the garbage along with the “Uh-Oh!” packaging, resulting in a greyish bob. Ten months later, I settled into my new home and gratefully saw my hairdresser again. The timing couldn’t have been better, as I met the man I would marry following a mere three-month courtship. The important qualities were all there when we met, like the love we share for our Savior. Our attraction to one another was undeniable, and not a day went by without the incredibly witty Rick making me laugh uncontrollably.

Memories, New, and Old

Beyond my hair issues, we learned nothing about each other causing concern. In fact, even in a short time, we felt we’d known each other forever. Rick and I marveled at how God brought us together. When it came time to celebrate our first advent as husband and wife, we pulled out our Christmas decorations to combine our past lives. Placing ornaments on our tree welled up emotions from the years gone by. I had outlived my sister, my mom, dad, and my husband of four decades. Rick’s son was tragically killed not long before we met, and he stoically placed his boy’s ornament on a branch. He told me of an early memory of his grandmother holding him up to kiss Santa before placing the figure on the treetop. We relived our pasts out loud as traditional Christmas carols filled the moments of silence between us. I wished I had known his boy, just as I mourned that he never knew my sister and parents. By the next morning, my heart ached, and I was reduced to a puddle of tears. It doesn’t happen often, but now and then, cumulative grief crashes in on me. I’m happy morning, noon, and night, typically, so no doubt Rick was unsettled leaving for work as my tears flowed freely. I sat in front of our Christmas tree for two hours with coffee in hand and wept more than I sipped. Tears can be cleansing, but that morning felt unsettling, as there was no stopping the flow. Exhausted, I unsuccessfully tried to pray. Then I thought of the Scripture: In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God (Rom. 8:26–27). At that moment, Rick called me from the office. Deeply concerned, he asked, “Babe, are you okay? I’m praying for you, but I’m at a loss and just don’t know what to do for you.” Through overpowering sobs, I poured out my heart to him about all the loss and how grateful I was that God brought the two of us together. But I felt robbed of those relationships that he and I would never experience this side of heaven. Rick listened. Then he said: “Please, just don’t cut your hair.”

Karen Rhea Newell is an author,

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speaker, mom, and grandmother. Harrowing ordeals spring-boarded her into a platform of sharing her insight and faith. Karen’s books, The Mule: An Unexpected Ride and Sick Kids and Those Who Love Them, are available on Amazon. She resides in Md. and Va. with her husband, Rick.

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Following our wedding, my hair continued to grow. Often, my husband affectionately kissed me while grabbing my ponytail. I told him my whole “Uh-Oh!” and haircutting backstory while displaying selfies for emphasis. That’s likely why he looked horrified the first time he caught me trimming my bangs. As he questioned my intentions and tried to release the scissors from my grip, I reassured him that his intervention

wasn’t necessary; my only goal was to avoid feeling like a horse as my mane grew into my eyes. Not trusting my newfound discipline, Rick begged me to let my hair continue to grow. I think he was frightened by my earlier photographs.

A PRAYER FOR

t r a e H g the Hearin Discouragement is fought in God’s presence.

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by Jill Briscoe

ometimes our faith is tired. It seems to have nowhere to sit down and have a rest. It’s hard to hope for better things and we desperately need a helping hand. It is at such times I go to the Deep Place where nobody goes, sit on the Steps of my Soul and breathe deeply. Help comes through His Word. Strengthened by such encounters, I continue. Not just plodding, hanging on with grim determination to finish the course set before me, but with renewed joy, my faith dancing. My prayer is that this little story will encourage your faith to sit down and rest too. I had been taking meetings far away from home, and I was reading the wonderful story of the prophet Elijah in 1 Kings 19:9-19. His life had been threatened, so afraid and discouraged, he ran to the mountain of God. And there he hid frightened for his life, but you can’t hide from God. The bit that caught my attention was, “He [Elijah] went into a cave and spent the night. And the Word of the LORD came to him…’Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.’” I then read how Elijah experienced a powerful wind, an earthquake, fire, and finally a gentle whisper. The Lord was not in all the noise and confusion. The whisper was unmistakable and insistent. God’s whisper of grace always is. The Lord asked, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” I talked to the Lord about it. “Elijah was so discouraged, Lord.” “He was exhausted. I cooked him breakfast,” He replied. “That was when he ended up under the broom tree, wasn’t it?” “Yes.” “How kind you are, Lord.” “It’s not my will for my servants to retire to a cave of discouragement,” He answered. “I am discouraged.” “I know. It’s not my will that my servants are discouraged,” He repeated.

loudly. Then I felt bad—and almost rude. I didn’t need to shout to Him, I thought. I know His ear is open to the cries of His servants. “What did Elijah do?” He asked me. “He went out and stood on the mountain in the presence of the Lord!” I answered. “What did he hear?” “Noise—loud noise. But You were not in the noise. I hear loud, frightening voices in my head, Lord, and it’s hard to hear Your gentle whispers of grace above the commotion!” “Stand on the Mountain until you do,” He advised. “Who are you listening to, Satan or Me?” I thought hard about that, then put on my coat, went a little way from where I was staying, and found a hill. It wasn’t a real mountain, but I hoped it would do and I stood there before the Lord. It started to rain, and I was tempted to run back to my cave, but then I thought, “Elijah must’ve gotten wet too!” So I stayed and exulted in the rain on my face and the bending of the trees about me and nature singing. After a while, the rain stopped, and I heard it—a small still voice. I heard it distinctly, and it said something similar to what it said to Elijah thousands of years ago: “What are you doing here, Jill?” I knew at once what “here” meant. The Lord wanted to know what I was doing in my “cave of discouragement.” I realized then that I had been listening to the voice of confusion and not the voice of the Lord. “Go back the way you came,” He advised, just as He had to Elijah. “I haven’t finished with you yet! There’s work to do, people to talk to. There’s not retirement for My children until the day dawns and they walk through My Front Door. Then I made plans to go back the way I came, down the mountain of discouragement to my next assignment. How about you? Are you discouraged? Are you hiding like Elijah? Which voice are you listening to? Go, stand on your mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by. Before I left, I penned a poem (see next page).

There was a silent space for a moment or two. “Lord, what am I going to do about it all?” I asked quite

Jill Briscoe was born in Liverpool, England. She has partnered

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with her husband in ministry for over 60 years, written more than 40 books, and traveled on every continent teaching and encouraging ministry leaders. Jill is the founder of Just Between Us. She can also be heard regularly on the worldwide media ministry called Telling the Truth. She and her husband, Stuart, live in southeast Wisconsin.

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“Then am I out of your will?” I asked anxiously.

Still Small Voice When storms assail and dread prevails, When fear grips my mind, When I’m lonely, lost, and helpless And friends are hard to find, When I’m confused and desperate I face a simple choice: To listen to the devil Or to God’s redeeming voice. He’ll whisper grace, I’ll see His face, He’ll speak peace to my heart. When doubt has wrought confusion, And I don’t know how to start To trust again in God’s great love And the power of my King, Then I’ll listen to the still small voice Till I hear the angels sing. Lord, meet me now as low I bow Before Your power and might. Please touch my soul and make me whole And nerve my heart to fight. I’ll stand up on this mountain Till all my strivings cease, And through the noise of war, I hear Your still small voice of peace. Amen.

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Download this printable poem at justbetweenus.org.

INTENTIONAL FAITH

The Giving Account by Jen Allee

slid the twenty-dollar bill into an envelope, looked cautiously down the hallway, and slipped it under Scott’s door. I then disappeared as quickly as I had come.

It was a routine I had been carrying out for months. And my joy was palpable. The habit had been formed months before when a friend had told me about her “shopping account.” It was a separate checking account, solely devoted to her love for fashion. She deposited a small portion of every paycheck into the account and then strictly adhered to the ledger balance when combing clothing racks or scanning shoe shelves. It was her self-imposed form of discipline to prevent credit card debt. I remember chuckling at her attempt to keep her shopping obsession in check when a random idea popped into my mind. What if I had an account set aside to help others in need? It was definitely a thought inspired by the Holy Spirit. Generosity wasn’t at the top of my to-do list in those days. I was just a poor, graduate student with a curious idea.

A Generous Idea

At the time, I didn’t have much to offer. I worked parttime, only able to stuff five dollars a week in my sock drawer. But at the end of each month, I would trade in my five-dollar bills for a twenty and give it anonymously to Scott. Why Scott? Well, he was a fellow student in similar financial straits, and I thought he would be an eager recipient of my meager gift. And I was right. A few days after my first clandestine mission, he excitedly mentioned a secret envelope and how it was the exact amount he had needed to buy something that day. I kept a straight face, though my heart was bursting with excitement. I decided to do it again the next month. And many months after that.

The Joy of Secret Giving

Though we still tithe, this extra secret stash has created a way for us to be watchful for opportunities to make financial, and hopefully spiritual, impacts in the lives of other people. As a result, the principle found in 2 Cor. 9:11 has proved resoundingly true: “You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion.” Here is the bottom line: God will provide it if you will give it. And you can’t outgive God. Once God sees your heart for generosity, He abundantly funds your desire to maintain it. As a wise pastor once said, “God will let a million dollars pass through your hands as long as your fingers aren’t sticky.” I never did tell Scott it was me. I didn’t need his thanks or affirmation. My joy was complete without it, which is the funny thing about generosity. Somehow in giving of yourself you always get more in return.

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Be Intentional

Prayerfully set aside some money into

a giving account and look expectantly (and excitedly) for how to give it away. Try making it a monthly habit or open your own giving account!

is an author and speaker who believes a strong faith is built one intentional step at a time. For encouragement in taking your next step, visit her at Living Intentionally at jenallee.com.

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Jen Allee

Years later I now have an official savings account I call our “giving account.” I sold my husband on the idea when we were engaged, and we have been operating gleefully out of it ever since. Even our kids have grown up knowing if they see a need they have access to resources that can meet it. Oh, the stories I could tell of how we have helped strangers, acquaintances, and life-long friends!

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FAITH AT WORK

Strength through Stress and Peace Under Pressure by Danielle Thomas

he world of work comes with many challenges—you may be someone who enjoys rising to meet them, or perhaps you prefer smoother sailing. Have you ever heard a coworker say, “I work better under pressure?” I have always wondered about that statement. To me it has always seemed to be a façade, masking one’s true feelings of stress and how they actually wish their challenging scenario would be over! It can be easy in a stressful work environment or during an intense project to feel as though you have to “play the game” to save face with your colleagues or your manager. After all, the mere rationalization that your boss is likely just as stressed out, if not more, could make anyone resign to sheepishly downplay their feelings. You may wish to appear strong, resilient, and capable outwardly, while experiencing something very different internally. The thing is, God knows what’s on our hearts and He knows our thoughts intimately, whether or not we share them out loud.

Jesus Understands Pressure

Jesus knows when we’re feeling under pressure, when we’re working hard but feeling worn down, when each day feels like a slow slog, and when tension builds by the minute. Jesus lived through the pressures of humanhood and felt weary and weighed down when stress loomed like dark clouds around Him. He felt what it’s like to live in a world that seeks to tear us down when we’re trying to do our best.

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He is Our Strength

The Bible reminds us that as much as we strive, we cannot outrun stress or fight back against pressure in our own strength. We have a strong Defender who is on our side to fortify and uplift us, even when we’re facing big challenges or tough projects. Isaiah 41:10 says, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Not only is God reassuring us that He is with us, but He is also telling us that He will give us the strength to overcome it. He is the one who upholds us and

Danielle Thomas

keeps us from crumbling under the pressures of the world and our professional lives. The early church went through many stressful trials, even facing intense persecution that threatened their lives. How did they cope with the pressure of the world banging at their doors? Philippians 4:6-7 gives us direction for what to do when we feel stressed: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Just like the church, who prayed together and supported each other in faith, we should bring our anxieties to God and pray for one another. In return, God promises us His peace to guard our hearts and strengthen our souls.

“…we have a God who…will help us in every way when we call on His name.” Live Empowered by the Spirit

The beauty in encountering stress in the workplace is that by believing in Christ and putting our trust in Him, we don’t have to overcome it by ourselves. The Holy Spirit fills us with the power of the cross, that life-changing display of the deepest humility and the most awe-inspiring strength. The veil was torn, so we can live empowered by the Spirit, confident that God is with us through our challenges; He equips us to conquer them and gives us His peace to remain unshaken despite them. We don’t have to let stress overwhelm us, because we have a God who sees us, knows what we’re going through, and will help us in every way when we call on His name.

works in internal communications for the UK’s largest water utilities company. She lives with her British husband, Caleb, and Cavapoo puppy. She enjoys hiking, exploring the countryside, and learning UK history.

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DISCOVERING THE WORD

I Am the Good Shepherd by Pam Farrel

have a legacy of good shepherds in my family for generations back. My great-great grandparents immigrated from New Zealand—with their flock of sheep. It is legend in my family that they disembarked on the Oregon coast then walked (or herded) the flock all the way to the land that they homesteaded in Idaho. I grew up playing in the green pastures of my great grandparents’ home and when they passed away, we bought their farm, and I began the life of a shepherdess. I learned about the care of sheep from my mother and grandfather. I saw what it meant to feed, card, shear, water, and give medical care to the ewes. I helped a ewe bring a precious lamb into the world. Our flock wore collars with bells to alert us if coyotes, mountain lions, or wild dogs were endangering the flock. If all was well, the bells sounded like the gentle tingling of a wind chime—but when predators spooked the flock, the clanging was like a fire alarm and all shepherds jumped into action to protect the flock. Jesus is our Good Shepherd who laid down His life in substitutionary death for His flock—us. But the Good Shepherd also means a leader, pastor, and protector that the Lord calls so they can best look after the well-being of their flock. Here are a few of my favorite “Good Shepherd” verses (emphasis added): • “ What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine… and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing (Luke 15:4, ESV). • “… I will search for my sheep…. As a shepherd seeks out his flock … I seek out my sheep, and I will rescue them … gather them… and will bring them into their own land. And I will feed them …with good pasture … (Ez. 34:11-16, ESV).

We have also experienced Jesus as the Good Shepherd as He guided our path as church leaders, then again as Christ opened the door to book writing and publishing. Our most well-known and bestselling book is Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti. That title came about when a husband brought his wife into Bill’s counseling office to work out their issues. Bill knew from his master’s studies the nuances of each gender, indicating that women “integrate” like spaghetti and men “compartmentalize” like waffles. Bill said to me later, “I think we should share this concept in the marriage conference this weekend.” My response was, “It’s kind of corny, but I trust you and I trust God, so YES!” Recently, we got a thank you note with a photo from the wedding of a marriage counselor thanking us for the positive fruit in her own relationship from our book. She included a photo of their wedding cake topped with icing of waffles and spaghetti! Our Good Shepherd led us one step at a time to places we never dreamed possible. As a lamb, pray to your Good Shepherd: Gather, rescue, lead, carry, guide, feed, and rejoice over me. Thank you! Amen Trust your Shepherd; you will flourish as you surrender your life to His care.

Love-Wise.com

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is an engaging and energetic leader who has impacted women's lives as an international speaker, director of women's ministry, radio co-host, newspaper columnist, pastor's wife, youth leader, and mentor. She is co-director of Love-Wise, and the author of over 52 books. When she's not traveling, she and Bill make their home on a boat in southern California.

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Pam Farrel

When I look back at our faith story, I see a Shepherd who sought out His lost lambs. I came to Christ because one of my mom’s friends saw we needed rescuing from the drinking and rage of my dad. My husband came to faith from a home filled with emotional instability, and through the movie, The Exorcist. He was “scared to life!” The Shepherd carried us to mentors who fed us from the Word, gathered Bill and I up, fostered our love, and led us “into our own land.”

LIVING WELL

Be Courageous in Relationships by Gail Goolsby

feel like I am losing myself in this marriage. Every opinion, every decision is questioned and often ridiculed by my husband. I tried setting boundaries with him, but he steps right over every line of disrespect I identify. I am planning a separation to try and think things through,” confessed my 63-year-old client, her face downcast in shame. “He is still my son, even though addicted to drugs. How can I show love and care without assisting him in his habits?” asked the desperate middle-aged mother facing me on the zoom screen. Healthy relationships are as important in our lives as physical, emotional, and spiritual self-care. After all, why are we trying to keep ourselves strong and vibrant if not for God’s glory and the benefit of those around us? But what if we cannot find our way with difficult people and feel drained with each encounter?

Play Offense, Not Defense

When I was a kindergarten teacher, often the girls would circle around me during recess with giggling cries: “The boys are chasing us!” I would respond, “If you want them to stop, turn around and face them. They won’t chase you anymore.” Certain connections can make us feel like we’re being chased, have no control, and have no power to assert ourselves into the relationship. This happens with family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, or even church acquaintances. We feel like running away, hiding, not answering the phone or messages, or playing a role we don’t enjoy when we’re around them, just to endure and avoid conflict.

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There must be a better way.

In many popular books, Christian and secular counselors recommend scrutinizing the relationship, assessing how it benefits (or doesn’t) our life, and how we can contribute genuinely to another without giving up our own need for respect and affirmation. If we determine

Gail Goolsby,

the relationship has value or reason to continue, we can develop a plan to move forward. Perhaps we want shorter visits, less frequency, in public places, or with others present. Certain topics or discussions can be deemed taboo. Requests for time, money, or resources by the other person can be declared as possible but not mandatory. Access a relational coach or trusted mentor to help with new insights and healthy boundaries. Once we have a plan to continue in the relationship, we then communicate pertinent aspects clearly and practice what we have preached. There may be testing, but for any possibility of long-term, positive change, we must stay the course in an assertive, optimistic, forgiving, and even long-suffering manner.

Good News and Bad News

For many of our challenging associations, we can find a way through. We need to start from the foundation that we are fully loved and accepted by God and not desperate for human affirmation. We need to recognize our own contributions to the relational problems, ask and receive forgiveness, and accept the realities of others. Unmet expectations are best grieved and reset to appreciate the positive attributes of others that we have been blinded to in our discontentment. Sadly, not all relationships can go the distance. When we sense our emotional or physical safety is in constant jeopardy, we may need to consider separation. Again, talking with a godly counselor can give objectivity to these sensitive decisions. Through embracing courage, receiving strength from a loving God, and using our voice to speak truthfully, yet humbly, we can enjoy safe, encouraging relationships that enrich our lives.

MA, MEd, ACC is an author, speaker, and career educator, including serving overseas as detailed in her recent book, Unveiled Truth: Lessons I Learned Leading the International School of Kabul (see ad on page 25). She is a mom and grandma, and lives in south central Kansas, with her husband.

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% gail.goolsby@gmail.com F Gail Wettstone Goolsby T Gail Goolsby

minutes in the

WORD

Courageous Faith

By Dorie Etrheim

eva’s face is etched in my memory. I met her in Ecuador when I traveled to visit my daughter, who was living in a home with young women who left vulnerable situations. As I started sharing from my perfectly prepared notes, Neva blurted out mid-message, “What’s your story?” I gulped. Fear and “what if’s” flooded my thoughts. I wasn’t planning to go there, Lord. I glanced quickly at my daughter, who knew nothing of my painful past. I took a deep breath, put down my notes, and slowly started to speak. My voice quivered, but I followed God’s leading and bravely shared my story, even while afraid.

Read Mary’s song in Luke 1:46-55. List every reference Mary made about the Lord.

I wonder if Mary had moments of “what if’s” too, being engaged to Joseph, a carpenter in Nazareth. Imagine the excitement she felt. But in a moment, that excitement was mixed with fear. Read Luke 1:26-38.

Digging Deeper

Let’s think about all the risks Mary had. What if her family and friends didn’t believe her? What if the religious authorities found out? What would Joseph think (Matt. 1:18-19)? Mary lived in a culture where being unmarried and pregnant could be punished by stoning. Yet Mary courageously chose faith over fear. Even when Mary was afraid, her faith and trust in God strengthened her to risk everything and embrace her kingdom assignment from God. Courage is “the strength to withstand or persevere in the face of fear or difficulty.” Where did Mary receive her courage?

Instead of worry, Mary praised God for who He was and what He’d done. Her song was full of Scripture that she had hidden in her heart. What song is on your lips in the face of fear or difficulties?

The Greek word for Lord in Luke 1:28, 38, 46 is “kyrios” meaning “master, ruler, the supreme authority of my life.” Mary placed her trust in the Mighty One, her authority and her master. This same Lord is with us, and His Word will never fail us. Mary believed God. Believing God gave her the courage to withstand every “what if.” It gave her the courage to persevere as she traveled 70 miles to Bethlehem while pregnant (Luke 2:4-6), and to flee to Egypt in the night to escape Herod (Matt. 2:13-15). It also gave her the courage to trust God as she watched her son, Jesus, die on the cross (John 19:25).

For Your Journal Record the encouragement the angel gave Mary in Luke 1:28, 37.

List your “what if’s.” Journal the truth of Scripture next to each one. Trust the Lord with every “what if.” Write your song of praise to Him.

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How would this strengthen Mary? What was her response?

Like Mary, in Christ, you are favored (Eph. 1:5-6) and called to a special purpose (Eph. 2:10). The Lord is with you (John 14:20), and “no word from God will ever fail” (Luke 1:37).

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STRENGTHENING YOUR SOUL

You Are an Overcomer by Melva L. Henderson

atan is a name all of us are acquainted with. It honestly doesn’t matter whether he’s called Satan, the devil, or the enemy; we all know who he is and if you have been a Christian for any period of time, you have experienced him in action. John called him “the accuser of the brethren” and “angel of the bottomless pit” (Rev. 12:10; 9:11). Jesus called him “the wicked one,” “the unclean spirit,” and “the father of lies” (Matt. 12:43; 13:19; John 8:44). Isaiah called him a “crooked Serpent” and “dragon” (Isa. 27:1). Paul called him the “god of this world” and “the tempter” (1 Thess. 3:5; 2 Cor. 4:4).

Make Him Powerless

Although he comes with a lot of names and titles, Jesus defeated him, and unless you give him a place, he is absolutely powerless in your life. So, the title he carries above them all and that we as believers need to speak over him is defeated! And we need to remember that we have overcome the enemy! You can’t focus your attention on the works of the devil. I don’t care how bad he can make things look. If you keep your eyes fixed on the Word of God, you are guaranteed the victory. We are told in 1 John 3:8: “The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work.” The works of the devil, according to John 10:10, include killing, stealing, and destroying. Jesus came to undo these works for you. “Undoing” is like untying a person bound with ropes. Jesus came and removed all the ropes Satan had in our lives. He destroyed them, so they are no longer a threat to us. Unfortunately, many of us put those ropes back on. And often, we do it with the words of our mouth.

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Make Your Words Agree with God’s Words

Because we are accustomed to living in the natural realm, we have been trained to “tell it like it is.” The problem with that is Jesus specifically told us in Matt. 12:36 that we would have to give an account for every idle word we speak. God’s desire is that the words of our mouth produce favorable results in our lives. An

Melva L. Henderson

idle word is an unproductive, empty word. In order to walk in the reality of an overcoming life, your words will have to agree with God. We have overcome the wicked one. I don’t know why God has designed the words of our mouth to bring us into victory, but He did. I would rather obey Him and get results than to live a defeated life. To say what God has said is the key to victory. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, if we speak what we desire, the words of our mouth will change the course of things.

Made to be Overcomers

Overcoming started with Jesus. He paid the price and positioned you to be an overcomer. An overcomer is “one who conquers, one who prevails.” It’s our responsibility to stand tall in the position we have been given. Revelation 12:11 says that we overcome the enemy with two things: the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony. Jesus took care of the first part and

“Overcoming started with Jesus. He paid the price and positioned you to be an overcomer. ”

now it’s up to you and me to lock in on the second— the word of our testimony. So, say it loud and say it strong. Jesus and all of heaven is backing us up. I am an overcomer!

is an author, speaker, and regular columnist for Just Between Us. She is also the founder of The Milwaukee Give, a humanitarian outreach, and co-founder and president of World Bible Training Institute, an accredited Bible college. She is wife to pastor Ervin, mother of five, and a grandmother.

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F Melva Henderson T Melva Henderson

Bii and Pam Faael Making YOUR life Simple!

Best Selling Authors of over 50 books & international speakers www.Love-Wise.com

encouraged

in your spiritual journey… Summer reading from Shelley Warner

When Shelley entered an ICU room where her brother lay in a coma after a drowning accident, she wondered what to say to him. The only encouragement that came to mind was a verse: “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble” (Psalm 46:1). This book contains stories of liberation from a works-oriented Christianity, God’s provision, blessing, and struggle.

Shelley Warner grew up exposed to religious fundamentalism. As a young pastor’s wife, she struggled with her view of herself in God’s eyes. Along the way, she learned that she is the person that God uniquely made and it’s good to serve Him in a way that brings her joy.

Sequel to “A Very Present Help,” “What Remains Behind” chronicles a grief journey. Her favorite poet, Wordsworth says it well: “We will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind.” It is OK to grieve, and necessary; but, as Shelley learned, what remains behind is worth living for. You’ll find encouragement from a surprising dream “On the Other Side.”

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OUTSIDE YOUR FRONT DOOR

Walking Through Grief

by Ashley N. Thomas eartbeat. It is one of the first signs of new life being created, and one of the last heard before death.

I have been in the delivery room as new babies entered the world and have wept at bedsides as people I deeply love took their last breath. These moments represent the cyclical nature of our reality. While we get the opportunity to rejoice over new life, we also experience despair that comes with losing a loved one. Death, whether it be of a physical nature or in the sense of a lost relationship, divorce, job termination, or failed dream, reminds us that things aren’t how they ought to be.

Death is Harsh

When I first began my time at Hope Street, I read lots of different resources. I wanted to be as equipped as possible to serve God’s people. One of the books that had a profound impact on me was Tattoos on the Heart by Father Greg Boyle. The book resonated with me in his emphasis on relationship and kinship. What didn’t resonate with me was the stories of death that he encountered on a regular basis. Untimely and unjust deaths are expected while working with gang members, but earth shattering all the same. Many at Hope Street have been “hard” on their bodies for too long, so many of these choices lead to early and untimely deaths. People who have gotten back on track, been set free, and are healing are suddenly gone in an instant—leaving the rest of us heartbroken. I have had to wrestle with the hard reality of death and the grief that follows.

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Growth Out of Grief

What I didn’t know when I set out on my grief journey is that out of death comes a new understanding of life and a deeper understanding that where there is love there is also pain—caused by death, bad choices, and hard circumstances. That pain can cripple us or empower us to continue to love relentlessly as our Father does. We can trust and know that out of death, love can produce more fruit. While I don’t have a green thumb, we often live inside of a greenhouse metaphor

at Hope Street. That metaphor has allowed me to embrace the very necessary death of a plant. Its seed enters the dark abyss of the ground. It is nurtured and cared for, until one day a little sprout appears. That sprout is further nourished and ultimately blooms into a new thing that produces fruit for others to enjoy.

Personal Journeys Through Grief

As I reflect on my own personal journey through grief, it was daily grace that encouraged me to often be still, move forward, turn around, or stop all together. Different moments over the seasons called for a new response, and instead of criticizing that, I embraced it for what it was: my own journey through grief. As time has passed, and I have been transformed, I realize I am equipped in new ways to love and care for His people.

“We can trust and know that out of death, love can produce more fruit.” Walking out our front door presents many opportunities. One of those is the opportunity to help people grieve well. If you are experiencing a season where something or someone close to you has died, you may not know the next steps you will take, and that is okay. Wait, feel, wrestle, and process knowing your Father in heaven is sovereign and can handle all things. He walks with you through all life throws your way. For the moments you long for someone else to resonate with you, remember God’s truth and the comfort we find in the Psalms: “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Ps. 34:18).

Ashley N. Thomas is the Executive Director of Hope Street

ministry in Milwaukee, Wis. She enjoys speaking, writing, and being present with broken people as each discovers the grace that allows us all to be known and loved still.

fromsmashtoash.com

Explore the Virtues of

F aith, Hope, & Love

O N SALE N OW FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE—the three virtues found in 1 Corinthians 13—are at the heart of the NIV Radiant Virtues Bible. Discover how these themes are woven through both the stories of the Bible and your own life.

• Hundreds of highlighted Bible verses relate to the key themes of faith, hope, and love • 52-week guide, rotating weekly through the key themes • Reading plans for a month or a year • Full-color art & journaling space throughout

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Funding the Training of Women for Ministry 22 ND ANNUAL AWARDS LUNCHEON FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 2022 | 11:00AM-12:30PM | RIVER OAKS COUNTRY CLUB | HOUSTON, TX

Special Honorees

JILL & STUART BRISCOE LIFETIME MISSIONS COUPLE

To contribute to a Love Offering Fund in honor of Jill & Stuart Briscoe, go to inspirewomen.org/donation and in the Contribution Detail, designate your contribution to “In Honor of: Jill and Stuart Briscoe.”

ALEX KENDRICK PRODUCER OF WAR ROOM FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT INSPIREWOMEN.ORG