Cyberbullying cases are often more complicated than they appear on the outside. The line between “real world” issues and “cyber” issues is blurry; thus there are many layers of social context that need to be taken into consideration. “Bullying is such a catchphrase now, but when you pare it down to what is actually happening, it usually isn’t a case of bullying,” says McDade. “Your child and a friend are having an argument. They are absolutely equal in power and in their status within their relationship. Bullying involves an imbalance of power. Most of the time, it’s a conflict, not bullying.” “If it’s repeated and intentional and there is a power imbalance, then it’s bullying,” says Fendley. Power imbalances that occur for middle schoolers and high schoolers include sexual harassment, strength in numbers, being cool versus being marginalized or a great difference in physical size or socioeconomic status. Regardless of what the situation may be, notify the school. “We can check objectively and investigate it, so that parents aren’t assuming the worst. It might be something simple,” Fendley notes. “Parents should always contact the school if there is something going on with their child that they’re concerned about. Sometimes kids will talk to the school counselors in a way that they wouldn’t talk to their parents, so we can get different information,” says Kingsley. If you feel more action needs to be taken, report cyberbullying to the social media sites themselves or to your Internet service provider, which can take action against users abusing the terms of service. I may have been both a participant in and a victim of cyberbullying back in the day, but now I’m a mom and it scares me to think my 5-year-old daughter may be entering that world soon. How will I keep her safe? How will she navigate this maze of adolescence and technology? As with all parental challenges, communication is key. Talk to your child. Talk to your child’s school. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Kristin is a local social worker, freelance writer and mom of two daughters. She worked as a middle school social worker for two years before becoming a
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