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CharlottesvilleFamily T O W N & C O U N T R Y L I V I N G AT I T S B E S T

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volume 16 issue 1 PUBLISHERS

Just Between Us… I grew up reading children’s books like “Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm,” “Little House on the Prairie,” “Anne of Green Gables” and “Pollyanna” — books about nice little girls learning how to be good women — and I still love the old classics to this day. I definitely identified with their tomboy moments, their mishaps, their love of books and their lack of patience for stitching and quiet pursuits. One of my favorites is “Pollyanna,” the eternal inspiring optimist. I especially like the scene in which Pollyanna brings gladness to crotchety invalid Agnes Moorehead through the magic of prisms. She uses sparkling crystals from old-fashioned brass lamps to cast shimmering rainbows in the sad old lady’s room, bringing a little bit of cheer to her grumpy afternoon. It’s something I always thought was really sweet and kind.

january 2015 Robin Johnson Bethke Jennifer Bryerton

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Robin Johnson Bethke EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Jennifer Bryerton TECHNICAL DIRECTOR Peter D. Bethke EDITOR Jennifer Conrad Seidel EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Jennifer Slate GRAPHIC DESIGN Erin Q. Hughes Barbara Tompkins SALES MANAGER David Valcich ADVERTISING SALES Karrie Bos, Lindsay Lopez, Susan Powell, Brandi Washburn CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Kim Connolly, Katherine Edwards, Rick Epstein, Ashby Kindler, Linda Kobert, Blair Lonergan, Laura Merricks, Kristin Sancken, Christine D. Shuck, Lauren Thompson, Brooks Wellmon ADMINISTRATIVE MANAGER Amy Duprey DISTRIBUTION Ray Whitson

Years ago, I thought of this scene when I saw a big bowl of crystal drops rescued from an old light fixture while browsing at Circa. I bought one and hung it in the kitchen window when I got home. Even after a move, it is still hanging my kitchen, twirling gently in the breeze. The prisms really do cast rainbows in the room when the sunlight is just right. Simple and charming — and something I’m glad I made a home for! As I start the new year, I’m making resolutions: Hang more prisms. Read more classics. Watch the old Disney family movies with my kids. Enjoy simple things. It will make us all glad. May your new year be bright,

CharlottesvilleFamily™ Magazine and CharlottesvilleFamily.com™ are published jointly by Ivy Publications, LLC. CharlottesvilleFamily. com™ is published weekly online at www.CharlottesvilleFamily. com, the weekly Newsletter is distributed via email, and the Magazine is published in print format 12 times per year along with a CharlottesvilleFamily.com™ Directory. The views and opinions expressed by the writers and advertisers do not necessarily represent those of CharlottesvilleFamily magazine, its officers, staff or contributors. The information presented here is for informational purposes only and although every effort has been made to present accurate information, we do not in any way accept responsibility for the accuracy of or consequences from the use of this information or for the businesses and organizations presented herein. We urge all parents to confirm any information given herein and consult with your doctor or an appropriate professional concerning any information of question. All images not credited are property of and provided by Thinkstock by Gettyimages. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in part or in whole without the express written consent of the publisher. Copyright ©2014. All rights reserved.

We welcome reader comments, submissions and the support of advertisers! Please direct all correspondence to Ivy Publications, LLC 4282 Ivy Road, Charlottesville, Virginia 22903 voice 434.984.4713 fax 434.984.4813 www.CharlottesvilleFamily.com editor@IvyPublications.com We reserve the right to refuse or edit any materials submitted to us that we deem inappropriate for our audience. Include a SASE with any submission to be returned. We do not accept responsibility for unsolicited materials.

6

January 2015

Jen Fariello

2004 Community Award Winner


TABLE OF

Contents OUR TOWN

LIVING WELL

New Mom 24 Starting Solids

News 8

The Buzz Around Town 10 Should children who have not been

11

Family Tree 26 Grandma Goes to School

INSPIRATION

Snapshot 12 Robert Larsen

Tips & Trends 30 Fabulous Finds and Fun

Bravo! 15

Home & Garden 32 Styling Bookshelves

January Activities and Events for Families

Daytrip Fun! 20

Snow Tubing

Behind the Scenes at Camp 34 If a Dinner Bell Rings at Camp When Campers Are Away, Does It Make a Sound?

A Place for Everything and Everything in Its Place 44

Organizing the Clutter Zones Finding the Me in Family 54 Caring for Myself Is Best for All of Us

Innovation at Murray High School Has the Face of a Student

Out & About Calendar 18

City of Promise Tutoring: Tiaranesha Jackson

Our Schools 16

vaccinated be allowed to attend school?

Editor’s Pick! I have at least a dozen bookshelves at home — editors love books! — so I was excited to get some tips on how to style them in this month’s Home & Garden column on page 32.

Understanding Cyberbullying 62 Know What’s Happening and What

You Can Do

RESOURCES

Early-Bird Camp Quicklist 40

A Guide to Residential Camps

2014 Winter Home Guide 50

A Homeowner’s Guide to Local Businesses and Resources

A New You in 2015 58 Support the Community

UNTIL NEXT TIME A Child at the Wheel 70 I Still See a Preschooler

Behind the Wheel

44 So Love This! As a parent of a new driver, I wept through Rick Epstein’s story on pg. 70. — Jennifer, editorial assistant

32 CharlottesvilleFamily.com

7


{our town community}

NEWS

­the local buzz

Ivy Publications Presents Downton Abbey Premiere Party The Paramount Theater January 4

Richmond Symphony Lollipops The Paramount Theater January 24

National Theatre Live: Treasure Island The Paramount Theater January 22

Raisin’ Cane: A Harlem Renaissance Odyssey The Paramount Theater January 25

St. Anne’s-Belfield

Millie Carson

Monticello Drama Dept.

Find more details on page 18!

Bilingual Theatre Workshop The Monticello High School drama program recently sponsored a bilingual children’s theatre workshop for Cale Elementary students. Eighty drama students invited Cale fourth graders for two sessions of fun. Aesop’s Fables was

The Gift of Music

the basis for the anthropomorphic extravaganza, which

St. Anne’s-Belfield School siblings Aiden, Emily and Howard Z. spent time on three Saturdays at a local farmers market playing their violins for a good cause. The three performed selections from the Suzuki Violin Book 1 and Book 2 individually and as a trio, raising $330, which they then used to purchase items for the Emergency Food Bank. Their contributions were among 3,248 items donated by the School’s K-4 division following its most recent food drives.

included movement and improv games and Spanish language activities. Monticello students Gabriela David-Guzman and Alex Espinosa choreographed and led the dance portions of the workshop, while Elisabeth Cunningham emceed the event. Cale students surprised their hosts with performances they had been working on, too. MHS Theatre Director Madeline Michel commended the students on their hard work and success at establishing it as an annual event.

Composing Debut Charlottesville High School senior Tiernan Primm debuted his composing and conducting

Samantha Malone Lawson

skills at this year’s CHS Orchestra Winter Concert. Tiernan began his musical career with

8

January 2015

the City Schools orchestra program in fourth grade and has since added private piano, composition and music theory lessons to his training. He has been composing music since he was 15 and can be found playing at regular gigs around town with his dad. Tiernan also has Asperger’s Syndrome and is an advocate for disability awareness. At the concert, Tiernan conducted the strings orchestra for his original piece “Circus Dance” and received a standing ovation from the audience.


Recess isn’t the only time our students play. “The fifth grade strings program is a cornerstone of our curriculum. Playing in an orchestra fosters the development of a creative and critical mind in an authentic, collaborative, and joyful setting.” Debbie Lyle Director of Instrumental Music

St. Anne’s-Belfield School Everyday exceptional.

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{our town voices} Jefferson Obstetrics & Gynecology, LTD

The

Buzz

AROUND

TOWN Should children who have not been vaccinated be allowed to attend school? 21% say “yes” 79% say “no”

Please call to schedule an aPPointment. new Patients are welcome!

Caring for Women through all stages of life Matthew T. Montgomery, MD Michael L. Arnold, MD Robert R. Heider, MD Kelly A. Owens, MD James M. Culver, MD Christy Wamhoff, MD

This is a hard call. I think they should Vaccinate! It’s science. It works. be required for illnesses that we have Kara W., mom to eradicated, such as polio, so that the two fully vaccinated boys illnesses are not reintroduced to our country. Some vaccines are not as critical, such as varicella. Children who are not vaccinated by Brooke S., Charlottesville parents’ choice put everyone (other students, teachers, teachers’ children) at We are new to the States, having lived serious risk. in a variety of European countries. Teacher and administrator, This requirement to have lots and lots Charlottesville of vaccinations before school is both completely alien to us and totally unnecessary. You may have the right to choose whether C’ville Newbie, mom to two girls or not you vaccinate your child. However, my children shouldn’t be put at risk Some children have a medical reason for because of your personal views. not receiving the vaccine. Melissa, mom of 4 healthy Kristi, Albemarle County

vaccinated children

Brooke S. Kilfoil, MD Sue A. Woodson, CNM Pat Dougherty, CNM, MSN Visit CharlottesvilleFamily.com to answer next month’s question: 600 Peter Jefferson Pkwy, Suite 290

434.977.4488

www.jeffersonobgyn.net 10

January 2015

Have you ever lied about your child’s age to get a discount?


{our town community} Innovation Expo Students, teachers and community leaders came together last month to share ideas and inventions at the first ever Innovation Expo. Held at the University of Virginia’s Innovation Lab, the event also kicked off the Public Education Fund of Charlottesville Albemarle. Nick Anglin — a seventh grader at Sutherland Middle School and recent winner of SWEDU Charlottesville — shared his Strikey Sensors invention, which uses lasers to detect whether a pitch is a strike or a ball, helping young ball players with their accuracy. The PEF plans to make

Laying foundations for a lifetime of global citizenship

the expo an annual event.

Admissions Open House Limited openings Saturday, for 2014-15. January Call today!31

with language immersion programs in French and Spanish for ages 2-6

Part- and full-time programs with flexible Extra Care Previous exposure to French or Spanish is not required

10AM-Noon

She’s Got a Great Head on Her Shoulders

All are welcome at ISC!

For enrollment information email: admissions@theISC.org call: (434) 984-2174 or visit us online

Caroline Tillman is one local

830 Monticello Avenue in Downtown Charlottesville

www.theISC.org

Partners in Learning

teenager with the entrepreneurial spirit. Her business, Poppy & Elle,

Educational Consultants

sells elastic solid, print, glitter and tie-dye hair ties that can also be worn as bracelets. Her products

nCustomized assessments to determine strengths & weaknesses in skills

are sold online at Etsy as well as in several boutiques and through wholesale and custom orders.

Empowering

Caroline, a senior at the Miller School of Albemarle, also helps her

students to

family run their Inglewood Lavender Farm in Nelson County.

reach their

maximum

potential.

nComprehensive learning plans to assist parents, teachers, tutors & students nReading, Math, Writing, Spelling, Social, Behavioral nOverall Academic Achievement nAssessment and/or planning related to learning disabilities, attention, and autism nPersonalized training to organizations, families, and individuals

Poppy and Elle

The Power is in the Plan Stacy P. Dean, Ph.D., NCED, CAS

(434) 996-8161 • DrStacyDean.com 503 Faulconer Ave. 7A, Charlottesville, VA 22903 CharlottesvilleFamily.com

11


{our town interview}

SNAPSHOT written & photographed by Laura Merricks

Robert Larsen Robert Larsen is district chief of Ivy Fire Rescue, Station 15, and a volunteer firefighter of more than 30 years. Leaving behind years of fire service in California, Larsen and his family moved to Charlottesville in 1991, where he joined the all-volunteer Crozet station. Albemarle County Fire and Rescue was then transitioning to a combined career and volunteer model for providing fire and emergency medical services. Becoming chief of the Ivy station at its opening in 2013 gave Larsen a chance to implement this new model for future consideration in the county. Ivy Station’s 15 paid career staff work an average of eleven 24-hour shifts per month, and many volunteer at stations near their homes while working additional jobs.

What is one thought you keep in mind when balancing

Its 22 volunteers serve at least 48 hours per month. Larsen calls this

family, work and volunteering?

fulfilling job “a blend of a humanitarian and a MacGyver,” adding

Communication and flexibility are more important than “gotta go” and

that there is always a need for more volunteers, and ride-alongs are

being firm. Sometimes it’s not what’s said but what’s been expressed

welcome.

facially [nonverbal cue] that is critical. You have to see and respect that.

Larsen’s life is shaped by his father’s favorite quote: “You make a living by what you get; you make a life by what you give.” Even in

What’s your favorite time with your family?

his day job — managing community relations at UVA Health System

It comes at all hours. With our daughter now living in the Pacific

— he has increased staff and faculty donations to the Commonwealth

Northwest, it’s whenever we communicate, and Carla and I share that

of Virginia Campaign, UVA’s vehicle for connecting employees to local

moment. With Carla, it’s the time we have together around the house

charities. And his grown daughter, Jami, carries on this adventurist and

or out with other couples, or when we comfort each other with a good

altruistic tradition as a wildland firefighter for the U.S. Forest Service.

laugh or a needed tear.

Larsen lives in Albemarle County with his wife, Carla. What is one thing your parents did that you incorporated What would you say to others who work full-time, have a

into your parenting?

family and would also like to give back to the community?

Both have passed, but their actions are found in both my sister and

Volunteering for local charities requires the acceptance of one’s family

myself. While they were parents and grandparents, they were first

and workplace, since it can put a strain on those. I’m fortunate to work

and always humanitarians, a word that marks their resting place for

for the UVA Health System—they value employees’ giving to their

eternity.

community. And my wife of 40-plus years and my daughter have been supportive. With some give and take, both have been accommodating to my departure from the dinner table or a family celebration and, at times, taking our holiday meal to share with the crew at the station.

12

January 2015

Laura has three children, two of them boys who shared their favorite firefighter Halloween costume for years.


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We Carry Small Animals, Birds, Reptiles, and Fish


©Tod Cohen

Jeannine Woods

{our town community}

WINDOWS ON WALDORF Please join us for this interactive Open House with presentations for the whole family. Our teachers will offer a glimpse of the Waldorf curriculum through movement, art, observation, and experience. All family members are welcome and encouraged to attend.

On the Red Carpet More than 600 local students from Charlottesville and Albemarle County participated in this year’s Virginia Film Festival Young Filmmakers Academy, making their own films with the help of VFF mentors — and then enjoying their own red-carpet screening experience as part of VFF’s Family Day fun. This year’s challenge for entrants was to write,

Saturday, January 10 10:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m.

perform, film and edit a film based on a contemporary or historical person or

Reserve your spot by visiting www.cwaldorf.org/wow.html or call (434) 973-4946

group. Classroom teachers apply each year to have their students participate in the academy. Stony Point Elementary’s Ben Mackey, Luke Woods and Lach Myers (pictured) were among the participants.

Charlottesville Youth Commission

Be an InsIder Get the latest updates on area fun and news!

The Charlottesville Youth Council met recently with Charlottesville

Visit us at CharlottesvilleFamily.com and sign up for our weekly E-Newsletter packed with calendar highlights, daytrip ideas, and much more!

City Councilors to discuss issues that affect young people in the city. The youth council, made up of 17 students ages 13 to 17 from around the city, meets monthly, receives leadership training and chooses annual projects to work on. This year, they identified five areas of interest: personal safety, public school funding, environmental issues, the built environment, the achievement gap and diversity in

Downton Abbey Season 5

Sundays at 9:00 p.m.

14

January 2015

school programming. In addition to discussing these issues with city councilors, the youth also supported a one percent increase to

wvpt.net

Charlottesville’s meals tax to help fully fund school budgets.


{our town volunteers}

Bravo! nolly

by Kim Con

Paying It Forward with Mentoring For Tiaranesha “Tiara” Jackson, a fourth-year University of Virginia pre-med student from Chicago,

coming to City of Promise’s computer lab twice a week to tutor students — from fifth graders through high schoolers — feels very United Way-Thomas Jefferson Area

familiar. “It really reminds me of home,” Jackson says. “The kids remind me of me at their age.” Jackson benefitted from a similar after-school program, which she credits with helping her become a Gates Millennium Scholar. Jackson helps the kids at City of Promise review their homework. She also reads to other kids or plays board games with them. Because her background is similar to that of the students, Jackson knows what it takes to help them get on the path to college and a career. She is a positive role model, mentor and friend, and she is a consistent presence in the computer center. “Tiara proves that hard work pays off, “ says Latara Salisbury, who runs the City of Promise computer lab. “She embodies the character, work ethic and drive to succeed that we strive to instill in the City of Promise youth.” The organization serves youth in the 10th and Page, Starr Hill and Westhaven communities.

January is National Mentoring Month! Learn about this and other local mentoring programs at the United Way’s Mentor & Tutor Fair on January 30. Visit cvillevolunteer.org.

Jackson, who is also a mentor with Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Central Blue Ridge, says she simply enjoys being around the kids. “This happened for me when I was younger, and it was a huge benefit. I want to do that for another child. These kids are a joy to be around — I love the personality of this place.”

Kim is the Vice President of Marketing

To become a City of Promise volunteer, call 220-5437 or visit cityofpromise.com.

& Communications at the United Way-Thomas Jefferson Area.

©2014 Kumon North America

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Confidence.

When they’re fearless, anything is possible. That’s why now is the perfect time for your child to start Kumon. Through individualized lesson plans and self-learning worksheets, we’ll harness their enthusiasm to help develop crucial math and reading skills. With that knowledge, they’ll have the confidence to take on anything. Now’s the time for Kumon.

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CharlottesvilleFamily.com

15


{our town community}

Our s l o o h c S ler

Innovation at Murray High School Has the Face of a Student A Classical Christian School

A. Kindler

d by Kin by Ash

“Innovation” is a word frequently used when elected officials, educators and

Challenging Academics • Grades K-11 Biblical Worldview • Affordable Tuition Small Class Sizes • Team Sports

parents discuss how best to prepare students for college and career. It’s a

Applications due January 30th

approach differs from our more traditional institutions. We’re organized around

concept often used to describe technology in the classroom, but at Murray High School, we have an additional classroom resource in mind — our students. Murray is one of a handful of charter schools in Virginia, and our instructional

(434) 293-0633

www.regents-school.org

Choice Theory, which holds that the more involved students are with their learning, the better the outcome. Students don’t receive failing grades in our school; they continue with their work until it earns at least a B grade. One part of our student development has been our requirement that all seniors complete a capstone project that demonstrates creativity, critical thinking, problem-solving skills, community service and the ability to

Meet one of ours at

Free Union Country School

communicate important messages. This year we applied for and received state funding to broaden this approach. As far as we know, this is the first program of its kind in Virginia. We’re using this funding to support student projects in all grade levels. Students are eligible to apply for mini-grants for capstone projects of their own design. A project must connect to our curriculum and offer the potential for personal growth. One student, for example, wants to learn about science, math and engineering by rebuilding a motorcycle motor, and we are funding the purchase of parts for her project. Another is pursuing his interest in the arts, culture and media by producing videos that showcase the work of underpublicized artists in our local community. Our school division’s operating philosophy is “unleashing the potential of every student.” In a county with nearly 13,500 public school students — from urban, suburban and rural areas spread over 700 square miles, with more than 70 native languages spoken in their homes — not every child has the same needs or learns in the same way.

Full brain: stories, poems, inventions Able hands: sketching, drawing, drumming Student member of school’s marketing committee

Only a diversity of programs can serve our diversity of learners, and among the most valuable voices in designing such programs are the voices of our learners. It’s hardly a new thought when venture capitalists empower people to pursue interests that serve a larger purpose. In the classroom, student-directed learning is more than a new thought. It’s an innovative one.

Future: jazz drummer, architect, marketer Ashby is the principal of the two charter schools in Albemarle County: Murray

Preschool - Fifth Grade 434-978-1700

www.freeunioncountryschool.org 16

January 2015

High School and the Community Public Charter School, which serves middle school students.


Biz BI TS

Now Open Betsey, women’s clothing boutique, 300 E. Market Street, 529-6102, betseyshop.com

Cato, women’s clothing store, 1832 Rio Hill Center, 964-4663, catofashions.com Firefly, restaurant, billiards and arcade (for adults), 1304 E. Market Street, 202-1050, fireflycville.com Jump, trampoline park, 1005 Gardens Boulevard, 284-8248 jumpcville.com MarieBette, European-inspired café and bakery, 700 Rose Hill Drive, 529-6118, mariebette.com Oakhart Social, wood-fired seasonal Atlantic coast food, 511 W. Main Street, 995-5449, oakhartsocial.com

Closed Ariana Grill Kabob House on W. Main Street has closed

Announcements Southern Living announced that its 2015 Idea House will be designed by architects Keith Scott and Julie Kline Dixon of the Rosney Company. Jayson Collier of Summit Custom Homes, Southern Living’s 2014 Custom Builder of the Year, will build the house at Natural Retreat’s Bundoran Farm development in Charlottesville. Roy Wheeler Realty Company has joined Luxury Portfolio International, a luxury property real estate network. Charlottesville-based educational travel company WorldStrides has acquired Oxbridge Academic Programs. The Virginia Green program recognized UVA’s John Paul Jones Arena as the 2014 Green Attraction of the Year and awarded a Virginia Green Travel Leader Award to Charlottesville’s Arcady Vineyard Bed and Breakfast. The Virginia Green Travel Star Awards recognize the use of green practices in Virginia’s tourism industry.

The Mole Hole on the Downtown Mall has closed. Toro’s Tacos & Tequila Bar, on the Corner has closed. Vintage Vixen, on E. Market Street has closed.

Submit Biz Bits to editor@IvyPublications.com.

321

Get to know The Covenant School, where a strong Christian Liberal Arts & Sciences education and a vibrant school culture create a community of learners and leaders. Please join us for a Lower School Open House (Pre-K though Grade 6) Tuesday, January 20th 8:30 - 11:30 a.m. Call 434.220.7330

admissions@covenantschool.org

CharlottesvilleFamily.com

17


&

{our town calendar}

Out

About January 2015

FESTIVALS GardenFest of Lights

Now-January 12, 5-10pm at Lewis Ginter Botanical Garden Enjoy a sparkling tradition of more than half a million lights throughout the garden. 804-262-9887, lewisginter.org

Mark your calendar — the CharlottesvilleFamily Fun Fair & Camp Expo is on Sunday, February 15!

Annual MLK Community Celebration

January 18-22 at UVA Celebrate the life and achievements of Dr. King. This year’s featured speaker is Ta-Nehisi Coates, national correspondent at The Atlantic. The celebration includes films, seminars and other performances. 243-2079, virginia.edu/mlk/events

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Celebration

January 19, 1-3pm at Jefferson School City Center A community celebration honoring Dr. King and his message that all people matter. Guest speakers, singers and light refreshments. 970-3059, charlottesville.org/carver

CharlottesvilleFamily Fun Fair & Camp Expo

February 15, 10am-3pm at The DoubleTree Hotel This annual event helps parents get a jump on camp shopping. Meet exhibitors from camps offering horseback riding, sailing, sports training, travel, robotics and much more. Entertainment, great giveaways and special kids’ activities. 984-4713 charlottesvillefamily.com

STAGE & SCREEN Les Miserables

Now-January 10 at Live Arts The story of Jean Valjean, a French peasant, and his quest for redemption after serving nineteen years in jail for having stolen a loaf of bread for his starving sister’s child. Parental discretion advised. 977-4177, livearts.org

The Muppet Movie

January 11, 2pm at The Paramount Theater Catch Kermit, Miss Piggy and the whole gang in this 1979 classic on the big screen. 979-1333, theparamount.net

The Wizard of Oz

January 15, 6:30pm at Buford Middle School Auditorium Walker Elementary and Buford Middle School students perform. 245-2412, ccs.k12.va.us

Peter and the Wolf Concert

January 17, 2pm at CHS MLK Performing Arts Center Young children are welcome to a narrated version performed by the CHS Orchestra. An instrument “petting zoo” follows the 45-minute program. chsorchestra.org

Family Movie Matinee

January 20, 2pm at Central Library Bring the family for popcorn and “The LEGO Movie” on the big screen. 979-7151, jmrl.org

Treasure Island

January 22, 7pm at The Paramount Theater This new adaptation of Louis Stevenson’s classic story is broadcast live from London’s National Theatre. For ages 10+. CharlottesvilleFamily is a proud sponsor. 979-1333, theparamount.net

Richmond Symphony Lollipops: Pinocchio’s Adventures in Funland

January 24, 6pm at The Paramount Theater This performance is narrated, an hour in length and appropriate for children of all ages who are ready for their first symphony performance. CharlottesvilleFamily is a proud sponsor. 979-1333, theparamount.net

Raisin’ Cane

January 25, 7pm at The Paramount Theater Jasmine Guy and the Avery Sharpe Trio star in this musical story of the Harlem Renaissance. CharlottesvilleFamily is a proud sponsor. 979-1333, theparamount.net

Family Date Night Family Night at the Movies

January 13, 6:30pm at Northside Library Bring a blanket and pillow for “Winnie the Pooh.” Popcorn provided. 973-7893, jmrl.org

18

January 2015

January 30, 6pm at Crozet Library Bring a pillow and cozy up for this winter reading kickoff event with a Curious George movie. For families with children ages 2+. Registration requested. 823-4050, jmrl.org

The Charlottesville Waldorf School Winterfest

January 30, 6:30-8:30pm Location to be announced Grades 1-8 present a variety of performances including songs, poems, games and orchestral music. 973-4946, cwaldorf.org

SPORTS & OUTDOORS Roller Skating

Saturdays, 6-9pm at Greenwood Community Center The center is open every Saturday night for roller skating. Disco lights, too. 296-5844 albemarle.org

2015 Peachtree Baseball Registration

January 6, 6:30-8:30pm at The Field School Peachtree Baseball offers competitive, well-organized divisions for those 4-15 years of age. Forms are available online. peachtreebaseball.com

UVA Men’s Basketball

January 7, 13, 22 & 31 at John Paul Jones Arena Cheer on our ‘Hoos at home against NC State (7pm on Jan. 7), Clemson (8pm on Jan. 13), Georgia Tech (8pm on Jan. 22) and Duke (TBA on Jan. 31). 800-542-8821 virginiasports.com

UVA Women’s Basketball

January 8, 15, 25 & 29 at John Paul Jones Arena Cheer on our ‘Hoos at home against Wake Forest (7pm on Jan. 8), Boston College (7pm on Jan. 15), Georgia Tech (2pm on Jan. 25) and NC State (7pm on Jan. 29). 800-542-8821, virginiasports.com

Special Olympics Tennis Tournament

January 15-17 at The Boar’s Head Sports Club Experience Special Olympics tennis at its best at this three-day tennis extravaganza. Sign up to volunteer to cheer as well. specialolympicsva.org

Winter Big Woods Walk

January 18, 2pm at Montpelier Hike through the National Landmark Forest. Guests will learn about ecology, conservation and Madison’s role as an early environmentalist. The trail is a gentle mile loop. 540-672-2728, montpelier.org


LEARNING FUN Teddy Bear Tea

January 8, 10:30am at Gordon Ave Library Bring a special stuffed friend for some bear-y good stories followed by a tea party. Registration required. 296-5544, jmrl.org

My Monticello: An Exhibition of Student Art

January 10, 1-3pm at Monticello View art from over 300 third-grade students from Charlottesville public schools who visited Monticello. 984-9800, monticello.org Kids Club Craft Time January 10 & 17, 10am-12pm every half hour at Michaels Craft Store Drop in and take home a completed project. Ages 3+. 971-1072, michaels.com

Picture Book Storytime

January 10, 17 & 24, 11am at Barnes & Noble Warm up each week with a picture book story. 984-6598, barnesandnoble.com

Winter Warm-up Dance Party

January 13, 10:30am at Gordon Ave Library Shake off the shivers and warm up those bodies with 30 minutes of dancing. For ages 5 and under. 296-5544, jmrl.org

Everybody Loves Mrs. Madison

VIRGINIA DISCOVERY MUSEUM

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January 17, 10am-4pm at Montpelier Opening day for an exhibit of Dolley Madison, the original presidential spouse to be called “First Lady,” in letters and pictures. 540-672-2728, montpelier.org

Lego Block Party

January 21, 3:30pm at Gordon Ave Library Build great things with your creativity and the library’s building blocks. 296-5544, jmrl.org

Winnie the Pooh Tea Party

January 22, 4pm at Northside Library Enjoy a Pooh-themed tea party to celebrate A. A. Milne’s birthday. Dress as your favorite Hundred Acre Wood character. For grades K-5. Registration required. 973-7893, jmrl.org

RICHMOND SYMPHONY LOLLIPOPS JANUARY 24 • 6PM

RAISIN’ CANE: A HARLEM RENAISSANCE ODYSSEY JANUARY 25 • 7PM

ARCATTACK FEBRUARY 22 • 2PM

LAURIE BERKNER MARCH 29 • 3PM

The Mitten in the Snow

January 24, 10am at Crozet Library Celebrate Jan Brett’s classic tale with some winter fun and festivities. For ages 3-6. Registration required. 823-4050, jmrl.org

Stitches: A Handcraft Group

January 27, 4:30pm at Crozet Library Bring any project you’re working on or the materials to learn a new craft. For ages 8+. Drop-ins welcome. 823-4050, jmrl.org

Make It and Take It: Sparkly Snowflakes January 28, 3-5pm at Gordon Ave Library Drop in to make a sparkly snowflake to hang inside. 296-5544, jmrl.org

TICKETS • www.theparamount.net • 434-979-1333 215 EAST MAIN STREET, CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA 22902 THANK YOU TO OUR PARAMOUNT PRODUCER’S CLUB SPONSORS

Continued on page 23

CharlottesvilleFamily.com

19


{our town calendar}

DAYTRIPFun!

Snow Tubing The cold weather is here to stay, so you might as well find ways to get out and enjoy it. Our area has several winter resorts that provide family-friendly snow tubing within a 1- or 2-hour drive. We’ve also included a few farther away, in case you need a bit more snow to play in. Remember to check the height and age requirements before you go, and call for slope condition updates and hours. Wear snow boots or waterproof shoes (ski boots are not allowed), dress for the weather (hats, gloves and probably snow pants), rent helmets if available, follow the rules and have fun! Closest to home is Wintergreen Resort’s The Plunge, Virginia’s largest tubing park. The website says it all: “Imagine being on top of a 10-story building and looking out over a hill that’s longer than three football fields. Now imagine going downhill on a tube at speeds reaching 30 mph.” Children must be at least 6 years old and 42 inches tall to partipate. Smaller and younger children can tube at Ridgely’s Fun Park on the property. wintergreenresort.com Also close to home is Massanutten Resort’s Family Adventure Park. Voted “Best Snow Tubing” by Washingtonian magazine last year, snow tubing is very popular here. Resort guests get first priority, so on busy days like weekends and holidays, the park can be sold out. Tickets are only sold in person, but you can call the afternoon before to find out what kind of availability they’ll have. Children must be 36 inches tall or taller to tube. massresort.com If there’s no snow at all, consider Liberty University’s Snowflex Centre in Lynchburg. Made of

792/132 x 3267 =?

Beth Seliga 303-709-7290 beth@3catsphoto.com

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Family, Babies, Children & Senior Portraits Weddings & Celebrations

Can your child do this in less than 30 seconds?

20

Engaging in the Arts on Grounds and in our Community

Mind Math/Reading/Writing

Open Tuesday – Sunday, 12–5 pm virginia.edu/artmuseum

Call for a Free Class and Assessment 434-249-2888 | charlottesville@aloha-usa.com

January 2015

5 to 12 years e Outsid m! Think oo r s s la alohamindmath.com the C


a plastic material called Neveplast, two slopes are for ages 5 and up and a smaller nursery slope is for ages 2 and up. Group rates and concessions are available. liberty.edu/snowflex Just north of Harrisonburg, you’ll find Bryce Resort’s Tubing Park. Tubing sessions are an hour and 45 minutes long on these 800-foot tubing lanes. Children must be at least 36 inches tall, and tickets are only sold in person on the day of your preferred session. bryceresort.com For an upscale twist on tubing, try the Homestead Resort in Hot Springs. Sessions are an hour long, and reservations are required for both day and overnight guests. End the day with s’mores at the fire pit on the Casino Lawn. Children must be 48 inches or taller. thehomestead.com

Find more than 125 daytrip ideas in our Ultimate Go-To Guide! Charlottesville.Family.com/ Ultimate-Go-To-Guide

Further afield, with taller mountains and typically a longer snow season, Snowshoe Mountain’s Coca-Cola Tube Park in West Virginia offers several six-story tubing lanes. Advanced reservations are strongly recommended, and tubing participants must be at least 36 inches inches tall and 4 years old to participate. snowshoemtn.com Finally, about a three-hour drive away is Winterplace Ski Resort, the largest tubing park in West Virginia. Two “super carpet” lifts whisk you back up the hill after each run. Children must be 44 inches or taller to join the fun. The resort has insulated ski bibs available to rent. winterplace.com

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True Stories

Mothering for Mothers Workshop

ESPECIALLY FOR TEENS

United Way Mentor & Tutor Event

January 28, 3:30pm at Crozet Library Listen to some incredible nonfiction stories and enjoy a snack and book chat. Registration requested. 823-4050, jmrl.org

Zendoodle Workshop

January 8, 4:30-5:30pm at Northside Library Learn the relaxing art of zendoodle. All supplies included. Registration recommended. Grades 6-12. 973-7893, jmrl.org

Make It @The Library

January 10, 2-5pm at Common Ground Healing Arts Join Jaime Petralia, certified life coach, to begin to strike a balance between motherhood and self. 962-6114, jaimepetralia.com

January 30, 11am-2pm at the Omni Hotel Meet with a variety of agencies to find a great spot to volunteer. cvillevolunteer.org

OPEN HOUSES Charlottesville Performing Arts School Open House

January 14, 4:30pm at Central Library Kickstart your creativity at this monthly dropin MakerSpace. This month build a simple automaton. 979-7151, jmrl.org

January 4, 5:30-7pm at CPAS Stop by to see the facility, register for the winter/spring semester and purchase attire and dance uniforms. 293-2727 charlottesvilleperformingarts.com

Teen Writer’s Guild

Windows on Waldorf Open House

January 21, 7pm at Gordon Ave Library Explore a world of creative writing with fun activities and games. Grades 6-12. Registration required. 296-5544, jmrl.org

Teen Movie Afternoon

January 24, 2pm at Central Library Warm up on a cold winter afternoon with “Guardians of the Galaxy” (PG-13) and popcorn. Registration recommended. Grades 6-12. 971-7151, jmrl.org

Money Matters for Teens

January 27, 7pm at Central Library Learn how to make the most of your money at this seminar for teens. Topics include saving money, setting financial goals and creating a personal financial plan. Registration required. 979-7151, jmrl.org

ESPECIALLY FOR PARENTS Golden Apple Award Nominations

Now-February for schools in Albemarle County and City of Charlottesville Nominate your favorite teacher at a public or private school in Albemarle or Charlottesville. One winner will be selected from each school. 296-5820, k12albemarle.org

Downton Abbey Premiere Party

January 4, 9pm at The Paramount Theater Enjoy a free live simulcast of the premiere at The Paramount Theater. Costumes are encouraged. 979-1333, theparamount.net

Charlottesville City School Board Mtg.

January 8, 5pm at Charlottesville High School 245-2400, ccs.k12.va.us

Albemarle County School Board Meeting January 9, 6:30pm at County Office Building 972-4055, k12albemarle.org

PANORAMIC MOUNTAIN VIEWS

January 10, 10am-12pm at The Charlottesville Waldorf School This interactive open house includes puppet shows, math circles, science experiments and more. Pre-registration encouraged. 973-4946, cwaldorf.org/wow

1141 KINGSWAY ROAD • $1,195,000 Estate home 15 mins to Cville in Western Albemarle on 7.08 acres with breathtaking views. First floor master suite with his/her closets and adjoining sunroom. Gourmet kitchen features Thermador appliances and guest suite with gas fireplace over 3 car garage. Finished basement and mineral spring pool. Equestrian Center is within walking distance. Hunter Palmer (434) 981-0533. MLS# 526273 PEAK BUILDERS CUSTOM HOME

Tandem Friends School Open House

January 15, 9-11:30am at Tandem Friends School This event includes student-led tours, visits to classes and a student/faculty/parent panel discussion. Applicants are encouraged to attend. 296-1303, tandemfriends.org

Covenant Lower School Open House

January 20, 8:30-11:30am at The Covenant Lower School Tour the school, visit classes in session, meet administrators and learn about a Covenant education (Pre-K through 6th grade). 220-8125, covenantschool.org

International School Open House

January 31, 10am-12pm at The International School Visit classrooms, speak with teachers and learn more about programs for next year. Activities for children. 984-2174, theisc.org

2 IVY FARM DRIVE • $849,000 Custom new construction on a sunny estate parcel in Ivy Farms. Terrific 4-bedroom, 3.5-bath floor plan features generous foyer, formal dining room, library, premium chef’s kitchen that opens to family room, plus a sunny breakfast nook. Quality workmanship, superior finishes and handsome architectural details throughout this home. Kristin Cummings Streed (434) 409-5619. MLS# 526347 PRIVATE AND NEWLY UPDATED

Peabody Middle School Open House

February 12, 9am-2pm at The Peabody School Prospective parents can observe classes, speak with current students and teachers and take a guide tour of the school. 296-6901 peabodyschool.org

Submit your local events online at CharlottesvilleFamily.com or email them to Calendar@IvyPublications.com.

2937 BROOKMERE ROAD • $299,900 This newly updated split level is set back from the street and provides lots of privacy. 2 fireplaces with brick raised hearths, wood and laminate wood flooring throughout. Backyard features a rear screened porch spanning the entire backside which overlooks pool with concrete deck. This home is perfect for entertaining & the price is right! Christine Lisle (434) 825-7446. MLS# 526697 4 0 1 P A R K S T R E E T • C H A R L O T T E S V I L L E , VA

434.977.4005 WWW . L O R I N GW O O D R I F F . C O M CharlottesvilleFamily.com

23


{living well new mom} Starting Solids When to Start, How to Start and What to Serve

From that first little grin to a long-awaited toddling step, the first year of a baby’s life is full of exciting milestones. For many new parents, an infant’s first bite of solid food stands out as one of the most anticipated moments of all. So how does a new mom know exactly when to introduce real food? Unless your baby has special health considerations, you can introduce solids sometime between 4 and 6 months old. The American Academy of Pediatrics now recommends that babies be exclusively breastfed for about the first 6 months of life, so if you are nursing your infant you may want to wait until later within that timeframe. Within that window, your baby may be ready if he is able to hold his head in a steady, upright position; if he sits well with support; if he no longer thrusts his tongue forward to push out food; or if he shows an interest in the food on your plate. Once you have decided that the time is right, you can start with just about any by Blair Lonergan

single pureed food. The days of only feeding little ones rice cereal for that initial dining session are long gone. Instead, sweet potatoes, apples and green beans are all fair game. Just make sure that you introduce solids slowly, waiting a few days in between each new

New Mom

food in order to identify allergic reactions. If your baby doesn’t seem interested in the food at first, you can always wait and try again in another week. With my first two children, I introduced solids at about 5 months, but it wasn’t until they were closer to 6 or 7 months old that they really seemed to enjoy a “meal.” There’s no rush, because before you know it your baby will be joining you at the table for three square meals and snacks in between, and she will have plenty of strong opinions about what she likes best! Interested in making your own baby food at home? The mild flavors in this recipe are palatable for just about every new eater. It was one

Guess what! Pediatricians

of the few foods that my third son enjoyed before deciding to move

now say that it is no longer

on to “big boy” finger foods. You can substitute other seasonal

necessary to wait until

ingredients — just check the AAP website (healthychildren.org) for

your child is a year old to

its recommendations. (Writing this column, I learned that the AAP

introduce foods such as eggs. Give her a bite of your meal as soon as she can chew it!

does not suggest homemade spinach, beets, green beans, squash or carrots in early infancy, because they can be high in nitrates. It is fine to serve these vegetables if they are commercially prepared, though, since companies test nitrate levels.)

Sweet Potato, Corn and Oatmeal Purée Steam 1 cup peeled and chopped sweet potato and 1 cup corn kernels until tender. Reserve cooking water. Place cooked vegetables into blender or food processor. Pulse 10 times to break up chunks, scraping sides of container as necessary. Add some reserved cooking water and puree until smooth (about 20-25 seconds). Add 4 tablespoons dry baby oatmeal (or rice) cereal and pulse until smooth. Adjust thickness of the food to suit your baby’s preferences by adding more or less cooking water. Cool before serving. Store in refrigerator for up to three days, or freeze in ice cube trays for easy, individual portions.

Blair lives in Madison, where she keeps her three sons busy with simple activities and family-friendly recipes, which she shares on her blog at theseasonedmom.com.

24

January 2015


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Grandma Goes to School Lifelong Learning to Keep the Brain Young New Year’s resolutions don’t have to be about losing weight or

Scholars program, adult learners can take almost any course

cleaning out the attic. For Granny and Grandpa, one of the best

in the UVA catalog for credit (and a fee, of course), with the

resolutions might be to go back to school.

instructor’s permission and if there’s a space available in the

“Keeping your brain active and engaged helps to keep it

class. Thanks to Virginia’s Senior Citizens Higher Education Act,

functioning,” says Beth Barber, executive director of the Osher

seniors 60 years of age or older whose annual income is less than

Life Long Learning Institute (OLLI). “That, along with physical

$15,000 can attend these courses for free. Registration for this

activity and social engagement, helps us continue to be healthy

program opens three days prior to the start of classes and must

as we age.”

be done in person at the School of Continuing and Professional

OLLI is one of a number of educational programs offered at

For adult learners of any age, UVA’s SCPS also offers personal

geared especially for the intellectually curious individual over

enrichment noncredit classes, lecture series, courses and

the age of 50 — although adults of any age are welcome. For

workshops. These offerings — with no tests or grades — are

about $100 per semester, lifelong learners can choose up to four

open to anyone in the community. Courses include such topics

courses from a selection of about 75 high-quality, challenging

as astronomy, digital photography, sustainable landscaping,

offerings.

mindful living, local history and more. There are no specific

For example, in the 2015 spring semester, which starts in

admission requirements for these noncredit courses, which cost

early February, folks can choose from courses such as “Mozart’s

$125 to $250. Details for these and the Community Scholars

Women,” taught by former St. Paul’s Memorial Church music

program can be found at scps.virginia.edu/programs, under “Take

director Donald Loach, or a course from business consultant

a Class.”

Richard Mason that helps students develop better listening

Even the Albemarle County school system offers a variety

skills, which is called “What Did You Say?” The range of courses

of noncredit adult education courses through their Open Doors

OLLI offers includes topics such as gardening, foreign policy, the

program. Classes range from one-time workshops to eight-

Civil War and sorting out senior-living options. Visit olliuva.org for

week courses, and topics range from beekeeping to baking to

more information.

boating safety — all at very reasonable prices. Look under the

Older adults can also go to college. Through UVA’s Community

26

Studies (SCPS).

various locations in and around the Charlottesville area that are

January 2015

“Community” tab at k12albemarle.org.


{living well family tree} MEDITATION Meditation is another way to keep your brain healthy. UVA School of Medicine’s free weekly mindfulness classes can get you started on a meditative practice. Visit medicine.virginia.edu and search for “mindfulness meditation.”

“Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.” — Doug Larson

Family Tree by Linda Kobert

Everyday Mindfulness

TAKING CARE

(JABA) offers a Jefferson Area Board for Aging p on the first grou monthly caregiver support 1-2pm. The from Wednesday of every month the JABA at group meets in the music room For more e. Driv headquarters at 674 Hillsdale information, call 817-5264.

Rachel Naomi Remen, MD, offers inspirational, personal stories about finding hope and learning about life and living in “Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories that Heal.” The 10th-anniversary edition of this modern classic is now available. $12.99 at Over the Moon Bookstore

[ADVeRTISeMeNT]

Smart Solutions for Seniors & Families When it comes to financing your home, finding an expert is important. If you or your parents are 62 or older you can qualify for a reverse mortgage with American Nationwide Mortgage. John O’Connor, the Reverse Mortgage Doctor, specializes in this product and is considered an expert in the field. “With my experience in helping literally hundreds of people obtain a reverse mortgage, I felt it was important to concentrate on our core business and not get sidetracked by offering additional types of products. That way, I could make this my area of expertise providing clients an exceptional level of service from start to finish.” In fact, O’Connor originally helped his parents find the correct reverse mortgage 15 years ago even before he started in this industry.

“At first, I was skeptical about the product, but after doing my due diligence, I found that the reverse mortgage is a viable product for seniors who want to keep up with expenses, pay off debts and increase their quality of life.” Reverse mortgages are a federally insured loan that allows seniors to convert the equity in their homes into cash. All proceeds are tax free & do not affect Medicare or Social Security. Credit scores are not looked at and income verification is not necessary, he adds. Additionally, no payments are due on a reverse mortgage as long as the owner is still living in the home and the borrower remains on the deed. “The reverse mortgage will be paid back after the home is sold whether that is in the homeowner’s lifetime or upon their heirs settling the estate,” O’Connor adds. John O’Connor offers no-obligation meetings with clients - either in their homes or his office in Crozet. He takes great pride in treating his prospective clientele with the same care & diligence that he provided his own parents 15 years ago.

NMLS ID# 372644, MLO# 8039VA, Virginia State Corporation Commission MC-2457

Contact John with questions or to set up an appointment at 434-249-4080 5690 Three Notched Road Crozet

TheReverseMortgageDoctor.com CharlottesvilleFamily.com

27


{living well family tree}

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THE COOLEST CRAFT LoopDeDoo is the hottest new craft idea: designing and creating colorful accessories — bracelets, belts, headbands, zipper pulls and more — with embroidery thread. Kits include the spinning loom, thread and dozens of design ideas. Use it with your grandkids or give it as a gift. $34.95 at Shenanigans

Linda loves being a local freelance writer because she learns so much.

28

January 2015


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29


{living well tips & trends} THE LIGHT BETWEEN OCEANS A movie version of M. L. Stedman’s best-selling debut novel is already in the works, starring Michael Fassbender (Tom) and Rachel Weisz (Isabel). When a baby washes ashore on the remote island where they live, Tom and Isabel choose to raise her as their own. But their decision has unintended and devastating ramifications.

&

$16 at New Dominion Bookshop

Tips

WINTER IS HERE

Say It Like You Mean It New Year’s resolutions can seem like a losing battle, but people who explicitly make resolutions are 10 times more likely to achieve them than are those who don’t. Whether you’re hoping to lose weight, get organized or spend less money — the top three goals — go for it!

TRENDS by Brooks Wellmon

The holidays are over, but winter is just beginning. Fight the winter blues with these tips.

1. Natural light is the best medicine. Get outside within two hours of waking, even if it’s only for a few minutes.

4. When you’re feeling down, it can be hard to reach out. Make an effort to connect with people you enjoy.

2. Regular exercise is key. Try to fit in at least 30 minutes, three times a week.

5. If your symptoms don’t diminish, talk to your doctor about light therapy or medication.

3. When stuck indoors at home or work, sit close to bright windows.

30

January 2015


Q A

Safety First How can I avoid injury when exercising this New Year? Make sure you have the required mobility for your exercise of choice. Dr. Matthew Holbrook of High Gear Physical Therapy says the movements you perform while exercising should be free of pain. Pain can be the result of limitations caused by soft tissues, joints, nerves or a lack of core control. If you experience pain, stop and address the underlying issues to avoid injuring yourself.

“Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors,

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and let every new year find you a better man.” — Benjamin Franklin

That Little Special Something Tara Montgomery is a Charlottesville mother, oncology nurse and jewelry maker. Her gorgeous handmade pieces are versatile enough to dress up your playground wardrobe. $98 at taramontgomery.com Brooks lives in Charlottesville with her husband, their three children and her movie addiction.

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31


{living well home & garden}

Styling Bookshelves A carefully curated bookshelf can be a work of art in your home, adding balance, character and even height to a room. Your displays can welcome guests into your life, showcasing your personality, interests, travels and inspirations. I love designing my shelves to coordinate with the seasons. And apparently I’m not the only designer in the house — I often find a well-placed pacifier right at toddler height. Here are a few tips for mixing textures,

MAKE YOUR

sizes and shapes to give your bookshelves a new, fresh look.

BOOKSHELVES POP

Create visual balance. Always start with the largest items (such as a piece of art). Then place medium items (a stack of books) and finish with small items. Adding different heights and textures, such as plants and porcelain objects, keeps things

Paint the back of your bookshelves a dark

interesting. Low-maintenance plants such as succulents do well on shelves, as they

contrasting color, such as black or navy, to

do not need a lot of light or water. Go minimalist. Don’t feel like you have to fill up the entire space. Over-decorating

make your art and books stand out.

your bookshelves can make them look cluttered and purposeless. Try stacking a few books on their sides to add visual interest, and be sure to leave plenty of open space. Also, placing items slightly off center helps it look intentionally styled. Make your bookcases multitask for you. Turn storage into beautiful decor by stashing movies, music and odds and ends inside woven baskets and brightly colored boxes. Books are great accessories, so display your most beautiful ones. Try removing the dust jacket from your books; often the cover itself is much more visually appealing. If that doesn’t do the trick, wrap a few books in pretty paper to compliment the color palette of your room. To make a great visual impact, sort and display your books according to color. This looks vibrant and organized, and it adds eye-popping color to your room.

32

January 2015


Where There’s Smoke In his second book Where There’s Smoke, D.C. chef Barton Seaver serves up mouthwatering recipes that focus on grilling local food. His helpful tips for preparation, proper use of a grill and ways to eat healthily will have you firing up your grill again

&

and again, no matter the season.

“Remember this, that very little is needed to make a happy life.” — Aurelius

$15.60 at Barnes & Noble

Garden

HOME YARD SALE TREASURE MAP APP Need some funky finds to add to your newly styled bookshelves? Use this handy

by Lauren Thompson

Updating Laminate Furniture Did you know that you can paint laminate? Dust off that old college bookcase and put it to good use. Use a quality oil-based primer that adheres to glossy surfaces, sand your primed piece to remove any drips and then cover in two coats of paint.

yard sale app to track down all of the yard sales in your area. No more squinting at Lauren is committed to finding and creating beauty in her

those hard-to-see cardboard signs! Free, iOS & Android

Celebrating 20 years! 1994-2014 Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.

Charlottesville home, even with toddler twins underfoot.

A

lbemarle quariums

Middle School Open House & student-led information sessions Thursday, February 12 • 9am–2pm

Favorite Private Middle School Favorite Private Elementary School Favorite Preschool • Favorite Teacher Please contact our Director of Admissions, Katie Murrah, to schedule a visit. kmurrah@peabodyschool.org 1232 Stoney Ridge Road ChaRlotteSville, viRginia 22902 (434) 296-6901

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Specializing in Captive Raised Corals & FishDesign, Installations, and Maintenance available

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33


BEHIND THE SCENES AT CAMP What Happens When Campers Are Away?

By Jennifer Conrad Seidel

Camp Hidden Meadows

34

January 2015


{inspiration summer camp} Triple C Camp

When children arrive at camp a few weeks after the school year has ended, things are running like a well-oiled machine. The kitchen is well stocked, the rope course is ready to go, the bathrooms are all in working order, the counselors are bursting with excitement and campers squeals are echoing off the cabins’ linoleum floors. But have you ever wondered what things are like in the months when campers were away and all was quiet? We have, so we asked a few camps to tell us what goes on in the off-season. Camp Mascots and Pets

Camp Motorsport’s “camp dog,” Cooper, is known to bounce

At Camp Hidden Meadows, a co-ed residential camp on 250

with excitement when the campers show up each summer

acres in the Monongahela National Forest, just 90 minutes

to the site in Clover, Virginia (about 90 minutes southeast

west of Staunton, animals stay onsite all year. During winter,

of Lynchburg), for a week or more of on-course driving, off-

they are usually inside the cozy barn. However, you might find

roading, paintball, BMX riding, swimming, fishing and other

a few creatures out in the cold. “The rabbits love playing in the

activities. But when the campers are away, Cooper entertains

snow,” says Director Tom Bryant. “The chickens are constantly

himself by patrolling the grounds and chasing away squirrels,

looking for some buried treasure under the snow,” he adds.

rabbits and other critters.

“Denny, our head of maintenance, makes sure the animals

“This fall, he found himself in a face-off with a pair of skunks

are cozy and well fed and that they have lots of water,”

who were trying to move in under the house to hibernate for

continues Bryant. “When the temperatures dip into the lower

the winter,” says Director Diane Tyrrell. “I’m not sure if you can

digits, he is sure to pull out the heat lamps. The rabbits love the

say Cooper won. He successfully dispatched the skunks, but

heat lamps and must think they have moved to the Caribbean

first they successfully sprayed him, the house and a nearby car.

for the winter!” If the animals inside — horses, goats, donkeys,

The house and the car were uninhabitable, and Cooper had to

chickens, sheep, pigs and rabbits — could read, they’d see a

sleep in the laundry room for several days.” After about a dozen

“Countdown to Camp” calendar hanging from a nail near the

anti-skunk baths over a three-week period, he still smelled of

hay rack.

skunk, as did the car. Thankfully, the smell will be long gone CharlottesvilleFamily.com

35


{inspiration summer camp} before campers arrive. Animals at Charlottesville’s Triple C Camp continue to see visitors in the offseason, when the camp is open to various groups. Maverick, the camp dog, prefers the hustle and bustle that summer brings, but he keeps himself occupied on slow days by finding a ball or Frisbee to run off with. According to H. Rothenberg — who coowns and co-directs the camp with his wife, Libby — the camp’s hens and roosters keep

Motorsports Specialty Camp

Driving & STEM Programs For Aspiring Drivers, Engineers & Enthusiasts! campmotorsport.com

Culinary Specialty Camp

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Specialty Residential Summer Camps Girls & Boys Ages 9-17 1 & 2 Week Sessions Clover, Virginia

(855) 508-9382

office@campmotorsport.com | office@chefcamp.com

busy, too, trying to eat all the stinkbugs they can find. “Milk and Cookies, the camp felines, are really busy,” he explains. “The mice think it is time to move indoors and get comfy, but Milk and Cookies think otherwise. The horses, like our campers, are in school. They are continually training and learning at a riding school, where they are ridden all winter.” Speaking of schools, some of the camp’s other animals visit local schools during the academic year. “Hercules, the tortoise, has been going on field trips to many third-grade classrooms for ‘Amazing Adaptations’ programs,” says Rothenberg. “The ball python, Aragon, likes to go along as well, because she gets lots of loving. The camp turtle, leopard gecko and bearded dragon love the field trips, too. When visiting Camp Alleghany for Girls, which is just over the West Virginia border near I-64, campers might get a

-The Oldest Girls’ Camp in the VirginiasEsTabLishEd in 1922

peek at the owners’ beagle-foxhound mix, Bebe. Though Bebe loves to follow OwnerDirector Sam Dawson around camp in the summer, she is pretty happy to spend the winter at a lower elevation — at Sam and Bonnie Dawson’s home in Staunton.

A mAgicAl plAce where girls leArn, Achieve, succeed And mAke friends for life.

The Camp’s Grounds In the height of summer, the campers are the priority. During the off-season, the priorities are planning and maintenance —

Celebrating Our 94th summer! Archery Rifle Dance Drama

Tennis Wild World Canoeing Low Ropes Swimming Arts & Crafts Sports & Fitness Singing

Lewisburg, WV 877-446-9475 info@campalleghany.com / www.campalleghany.com

36

January 2015

taking care of and making improvements

LOOking FOr mOre Camp resOurCes? Visit the CF Online Camp Fair at CharlottesvilleFamily.com

on the property. “At

Camp

Motorsport,

our

most

unusual off-season maintenance project this year was the purchase of 60 Chinese carp for the camp’s lake,” says Tyrrell. “The lake has been overtaken by hydrilla, an invasive aquatic plant that was originally imported from China to Florida in the 1950s as a plant for fish tanks. Since then, it has spread from Florida to Canada — like


Camp Motorsport

aquatic kudzu. These special fish, also imported from China, only

looks pretty bare. After campers pack their suitcases, staffers pack

eat hydrilla and are the best way to eliminate it.”

up mattresses, tents, canoes, paddles, tennis nets, windscreens,

The camp got special permission from the state of Virginia to

DEVELOPMENT washstands, hanging shelves andFOR tentYOUTH poles before closing up® the

import the fish, and a specially trained person came to help with

buildings. Even the canoe docks FOR and HEALTHY the swimLIVING docks are packed

the release. These carp are shy, so they aren’t seen very often, but

RESPONSIBILITY up. “In December, our cable ferryFOR — SOCIAL the only way we get in and

they are reducing the hydrilla in the lake.

out of Camp Alleghany — is pulled out of the river to a level area

ACCOMPLISHMENT BELONGING CHARACTER ACCOMPLISHMENT ACCOMPL BELONGING BELONGIN CHARACTER CHARACT ACCOMPLISHMENT BELONGING CHARACTER ACCOMPLISHMENT BELONGING MPLISHMENT GING CHARACTER Some of the work that happens at Camp Allegheny in the

and locked to two different trees for the winter,” says Dawson, the

existence,” says Assistant Director Elizabeth Dawson Shreckhise,

FOR YOUTH DEVELOPMENT ® FORsummer HEALTHYcamp LIVINGwraps Triple C Camp hosts many groups after FOR SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY up. Its ropes course and nature and science programming are

“we also have things going on like flushing the water lines and

used by school groups, sports teams, corporate groups, scouts

off-season is similar to things homeowners do with a vacation

property. “Aside from building new facilities or repairing ones in

filling them with antifreeze so the pipes won’t break.”

CTER

camp’s director.

and youth groups. “Every Tuesday, we host about 20 homeschoolFOR YOUTH

FOR YOUTH DEVELOPMENT ® FOR HEALTHY LIVING YMCA Camp Hanes FOR SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

The camp is not used in the fall, winter or spring months, so it

FOR HEALTHY FOR SOCIAL R

students,” Rothenberg reports. “We have birthday parties, too.

Register Now for Residential and Day Camp.

FOR YOUTH DEVELOPMENT ® FOR HEALTHY LIVING FOR SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

YMCA Camp Hanes

FOR YOUTH DEVELOPMENT ® Register Now for Residential and Day Camp. FOR HEALTHY LIVING FOR SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

FOR YOUTH DEVELOPMENT ® FOR HEALTHY LIVING FOR SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

YMCA Camp Hanes

Register Now for Residential and Da

YMCA Camp Hanes

Register Now for Residential and Day Camp.

Register at www.camphanes.org or call 336 983 3131 for more information.

YMCA Camp Hanes

Register Now for Residential and Day Camp.

Register at www.camphanes.org or call 336 983 3131 forRegister more information. at www.camphanes.org

al and Day Camp.

Register at www.camphanes.org or call 336 983 3131 for more information.

Register at www.camphanes.org or call 336 983 3131 for more information. CharlottesvilleFamily.com Register at www.camphanes.org or call 336 983 3131 for more information.

37


{inspiration summer camp} There have even been weddings and family reunions.” Even

as

the

staff

continues

to

welcome visitors, it keeps up on property maintenance: raking leaves, composting gardens after the fall harvest, covering the pools, giving the rails around camp a fresh coat of white paint and repairing cabins, if needed. “All the camp bathrooms have had fall face lifts over the past five years,” notes Rothenberg. “I’m not sure if the campers even notice, but staff and adults guests sure enjoy our fancy toilets.” If you were to visit Camp Hidden Meadows before the summer begins, you’d find workers remodeling the Adventure

Camp Strawderman Est. 1929

Center, which currently houses an indoor

In the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia. Girls 6-17. Real mountain camping in the foothills of the Allegheny Mountains. Riding, Swimming, Tennis, Archery, Hiking, Crafts, Dramatics, Nature Study, Indian Lore, Dancing and Music. Experienced Leaders. Cabins. 2, 4, 6 or 8 weeks. For brochure, write or phone: Margaret H. Gouldman, 10902 Brookwood Ave., Upper Marlboro, MD 20772 www.campstrawderman.com

will include removing the siding to expose

June 21 - August 15

climbing wall and gear storage. “We also have plans to further remodel the original log cabin homestead,” Bryant shares. “This

(301)868-1905

the logs.” Planning and Re-opening When the campers are back in school, camp staff starts planning for the next summer. At Triple C, menus are set, programs are scheduled, a new logo is designed, the registration system is

p Hidden am

updated and staffing plans are made.

C dows mea

Rothenberg adds, “We do tours with lots of new families, as we really want to connect with them and their campers. It gives us a great chance to have one-on-one time with potential campers.”

1 - 4 Week Sessions Boys & Girls • Ages 7-16 Only 2 hours west of Charlottesville!

In the weeks before camp re-opens,

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trainers get the horses ready for riders with various experience levels. Maintenance staff warms up the pools. Most importantly, staff gets trained for lifeguarding, the ropes course and even archery. Hidden Meadows isn’t usually open when campers are away, although Bryant says they did host a spring wedding that drew guests from all over the country. The grounds are quiet and empty, but the staff is always thinking of the campers who have been there as well as those who are coming next season. “We love hearing from campers during the off-season,” says Bryant. “Many campers send us pictures from the summer or holiday cards — which

For more information: 434.961.5354 www.pvcc.edu/kidscollege 38

January 2015

KIDSCollege@PVCC Learn today...Lead tomorrow

we enjoy immensely.” He is excited about the summer of 2015, when the camp will add new activities,


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Two distinct programs for boys and girls: • Journey: Ages 7-11 • Explorer: Ages 12-16 Increase your summer fun with our specialty camps! • Equestrian • Adventure • Mountain Bike • Leadership

Bunks are Filling FAST! Visit CampHorizonsVA.com for details, register or to schedule a tour. HARRISONBURG, VA USA • 540.896.7600 • CAMPHORIZONSVA.COM

2010-2014

REGISTRATION HAS BEGUN CharlottesvilleFamily.com

39


{resources summer camp} EARLY-BIRD CAMP QUICKLIST Residential camps fill up early — reserve your spot now! CAMP ALLEGHANY see ad pg 36

CAMP STRAWDERMAN see ad pg 38

CAMP HIDDEN MEADOWS see ad pg 38

SCIENCE CAMP WATONKA see ad pg 42

CAMP HOLIDAY TRAILS see ad pg 71

TRIPLE C CAMP see ad pg 39

CAMP HORIZONS see ad pg 39

UVA WOMEN’S SOCCER CAMP see ad pg 40

CAMP MOTORSPORT see ad pg 36

YMCA CAMP HANES see ad pg 37

CAMP RIM ROCK see ad pg 43

Visit our Online Summer Camp Fair at CharlottesvilleFamily.com!

VIrGInIA women’s soccer 2008 of Excellence Excellence 2015 Soccer Soccer Centers Centers of Spring Break

Youth Center

University of Virginia June 25-29 • Grades 8-12

Episcopal High School, Alexandria, VA July 20-24 • Grades 5-7, 8-12

University of Virginia Direction April 7-11Under • Boys & The Girls Grades 1-6

Graves Mountain Lodge, Syria, VA Of University Virginia June of 16-19 • Grades 4-7 Women’s Soccer Staff and U20 World Cup Champion Advanced Center Advanced Center Head Coach Steve Swanson

Advanced Center

University of Virginia June 28-July 1 • Girl Grades 7-12

Under The Direction Of University Of Virginia Women’s Head Coach Steve Swanson

voted #1 MARtIAL ARtS SCHooL SIX yeARS In A Row!

Virginia Women’s Soccer 2004 ACC Champions 2005 NCAA Quarterfinalists 2006 & 2007 Sweet 16

Advanced Center

For More Information & To Register, Visit: www.virginiawomenssoccer.com

For Questions, Please Contact Ron Raab: 434-982-5576 • RHR2N@viRgiNia.edu

Episcopal High School, Alexandria, VA July 18-21 • Girls Grades 5-7, 8-12 July 22-25 • Girls Grades 5-7, 8-12

Ages 3 through Adults Taekwondo, Krav Maga, Jiu Jitsu, & Advanced Weapons Internationally Certified Instructors Call to schedule your first class for free!

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40

January 2015


including a canopy tour: a harnessed camper travels through the tops of trees via the zip lines, bridges and platforms that connect them. “Several of the staff met this fall and ‘sampled’ the canopy tour,” Bryant reports. “It was great fun!” After an exciting summer, the yearround Camp Alleghany staff fills its calendars with meetings. “We’re always working to plan and get ready for next season — whether it be the physical plant, program planning, purchasing new equipment, planning new activities and games, or hiring counselors,” explains Shreckhise, who grew up around the camp,

THIS IS FRIENDS EDUCATION.

which her parents own. She was a camper and a counselor before joining the staff. But

Tandem Friends is characterized by

her lifelong attachment to Camp Alleghany

rigorous academics and a well-rounded extracurricular program. Teachers and students share in the rich atmosphere of learning in and out of the classroom. A Tandem Friends education puts students first today and prepares them for a successful future tomorrow.

is not as unusual as you might think: Several current campers’ mothers and grandmothers were campers in their youth. Several quiet months are followed by several very busy weeks. As Shreckhise says, “It’s a race against the clock to get

Come See Us In Action Thursday, January 15th Tuesday, February 10th 9am to 11:30am Tandem Friends School

Applicants for grades 9-12 encouraged to attend To register, contact lreeve@tandemfs.org

the tents put up and furnished, unpack all the programming equipment, mow all the grass and beautify the camp, get the

tandemfriends.org | (434) 296-1303 | 279 Tandem Lane, Charlottesville, VA 22902

swim and canoe docks put back in place and finalize any maintenance projects that were started in the fall.” They have to plan carefully, because the camp is accessed by a ferry and rainy days or high water can delay preparations. Although named for its most popular activity, Camp Motorsport has diverse offerings — like a new Chef Camp program. “We are completing the construction of the new teaching kitchen facilities,” reports Tyrrell, “as well putting together the curriculum and culinary activities, including meeting with local farmers to help us with our gardening and farm-totable program.” Campers with a need for speed will be thrilled to know that the gokarts are getting new engines, which will allow drivers to go faster on the track. Like staff members at other camps, Tyrrell and her coworkers give tours, travel to camp fairs, review insurance and

risk-management

practices,

and

modify programs based on feedback from last year’s campers and parents. “We try to introduce something new or vary the

parent & child classes | preschool elementary | middle school

activities each summer for our returning campers,” she says. CharlottesvilleFamily.com

41


{inspiration summer camp} What goes on behind the scenes at your favorite camp? Ask the staff yourself when you visit our Fun Fair and Camp Expo on February 15! Learn more at CharlottesvilleFamily.com.

Counting Down to Summer “Most people do not realize all the year-round things that go on

Camp Alleghany

at camp,” says Camp Triple C’s Rothenberg. “There really are nine months of planning for three months of summer fun!” Motorsport’s Tyrrell agrees. “It’s funny that people think camps have a ‘down time,’” she says. “We are really quite busy during the school year.” Three seasons may seem like a long time in which to get ready for summer camp, but there’s an incredible amount of work to be done so that those jam-packed days of summer are as smooth, exciting, safe and nurturing as they can be. Jennifer, editor of CharlottesvilleFamily magazine, still remembers the wonder of seeing sparks in friends’ mouths when they chewed Wint O Green Life Savers candy on a gorgeous night at camp in Southern California.

Soccer!

Thank you for choosing SOCA!

• Leagues for All Youth & Adult Players! • Spring League Registration Now Open • Visit Us on the Web or Call...

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Science

Camp Watonka Boys 8 - 16 In the Poconos at Hawley, PA Offering qualified instruction and laboratory work in astronomy, biology, chemistry, computer science, ecology, electronics, geology, physics, photography, robotics and rocketry. The sciences are incorporated into a fun filled, camper selected program that also includes archery, arts and crafts, climbing, mini-bike riding, riflery, sailing, swimming, tennis, trips, windsurfing, woodworking, ropes, etc. Private Lake. American Camp Association accredited. 2, 4, 6 and 8 week sessions.

www.watonka.com • mail@watonka.com • Phone: (570) 857-1401 For catalog write: D. Wacker, PO Box 127 Hawley, PA 18428

42

January 2015


preschool

summer camp

A gentle, safe and loving atmosphere for young children to begin to explore the world and to prepare for kindergarten.

Sign up by the week or for the whole summer. Creative weekly themes. Private, in-ground wading pool for daily swimming.

Ages 2 /2 through Pre-K 1

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Half Day, Extended Day & Full Day Programs

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Discover...

(434) 979-2111

create...

Have Fun!

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Registration Begins 1/12/15

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Intramural–Recreational Sports 434.924.3791 recsports.virginia.edu facebook.com/uva.imrecsports @UVA_Recreation

VOTED “BEST OVERNIGHT CAMP” by a leading Family Magazine for the 8th year

!

CAMP RIM ROCK.COM INFO@CAMPRIMROCK .COM · 347-RIM-ROCK CharlottesvilleFamily.com

43


{inspiration home}

44

January 2015


A PLACE FOR

EVERYTHING& EVERYTHING IN ITS PLACE Organizing the Clutter Zones

By Christine D. Shuck




The short days and long nights of winter are upon us. And between work and school and chilly weather, many of us are stuck inside, waiting for the warm temps to return and looking around at our cozy yet cluttered homes. Let’s face it — this is the perfect time of year to get some organizing done. Here are some great tips to get you started organizing the top clutter magnets: living rooms, kitchens, bathrooms and closets.

LIVING ROOMS

scrapbooking station here? Do you need a special play area for the kids?

CREATE SPECIAL AREAS. Perhaps you plan to use this room for Living rooms often serve a variety of interests. If you have an informal

general family entertainment and you want to have a TV, board

space, it is quite naturally a gathering space for the entire family as

games and space for relaxation. Group books together by an

well as guests. No matter how small this space is, it should be a place of

armchair. Use a closet or cabinet to store games in one place. Put

comfort and evoke a sense of relaxation and home.

the kids’ art center at a table in the corner. Consider having one

DEFINE WHAT YOU NEED. What do you want when you look around

large basket just for toys, so that the room isn’t overrun.

your living room or family room? What are the activities and

MAXIMIZE STORAGE SPACE. I recommend built-in storage solutions

functions currently performed in this room? Are there any

throughout your house. You can find a variety of ottomans that

activities or functions that should be moved elsewhere? Is

double as storage (remove the top to access the box inside).

this the place for a home computer? Do you need a crafts or

These are fabulous for storing games or cozy blankets for CharlottesvilleFamily.com

45


{inspiration home} E CONSTRUCT V I T ION EA R C Your Dream is Our Mission!

when the weather turns cold. Consider moving family pictures to walls instead of displaying them on surfaces, making them easier to dust and leaving surfaces clear.

SORT IT OUT. Shoes, clothes, hats, dishes — none of these items belong in the living room. Move them to their appropriate places.

TAKE YOUR MEALS ELSEWHERE. If you take your meals in the living room instead of at a table in the kitchen or dining room, consider making a change. Sitting down at the table and eating can be far healthier for you. (Studies have shown that adults are likely to consume an average of 15 percent more calories while sitting in front of a TV.) Sit down at your kitchen table and enjoy a meal, alone or together. And if the kitchen table is too messy for you to sit there, keep reading to learn how to

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organize your kitchen!

KITCHENS Our kitchens should rejuvenate us. They are the heart of your home — even if your microwave and toaster see more use than your stove or oven do.


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Many people complain about not having enough space in their kitchens. There are too few counters, overflowing cabinets and never enough drawers or pantry space for everything. In most cases, however, it means re-envisioning the space available to us. By grouping like items together, clearing the counters of clutter, reworking how you store supplies and equipment and categorizing your food storage, you can whip your kitchen into shape.

GROUP LIKE ITEMS TOGETHER. If you group like items and then designate specific zones for them, you will find that cooking in your kitchen becomes a breeze. You will also spend far less time searching for ingredients or battling the cans and boxes and bags stored willy-nilly inside your cabinets and shelves. For example,

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46

January 2015

designate one drawer for preparation utensils and another for serving utensils, or keep baking supplies in one cabinet.

REMOVE ALL UNNECESSARY ITEMS FROM YOUR COUNTERS. No matter how little you cook each day, having your counters covered with stuff is problematic. It is stressful to


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{inspiration home} try and work around. Even putting together a sandwich can be a

used often? If not consider storing them instead.

pain if you don’t have a clear surface.

CLEAR THE KITCHEN TABLE. Clearing off your kitchen table and using

How many items on your counters are used infrequently at

it for its intended purpose can be a constant struggle for many

best or perhaps never? Ask yourself these questions: How often

of us. Often the table becomes a catch-all as we arrive home

do I use this? Do I use it at all? Do I have more than one of this

from work, or it’s a staging area for various tasks. In my house,

item? Is this in the place that works best for my needs?

I still catch myself depositing items there. Take the time to find

Clear your counters and watch your stress levels go down

somewhere else to drop your keys, the mail or your purse. Let

significantly. Having the space to prepare your food and access

this be a place to relax and enjoy a meal together as a family.

your outlets and appliances will make all the difference in the

After a day spent organizing your kitchen, you have certainly

world.

earned it!


PURGE WHAT ISN’T NECESSARY. High on my list of “get rid of” items are

Kitchens are usually the second room in the house we visit

bread machines, espresso machines, banana racks, fondue pots

after waking in the morning — the first being the bathroom. So

and woks. These are followed closely by all those darned gadgets

let’s turn our attention to that space, which we especially need

we seem to accumulate: egg slicers, pastry brushes, etcetera.

to be organized when we are still bleary-eyed with sleep.

STORE ITEMS SAFELY. No one needs to get a head injury from a heavy slow cooker, so remember to keep the heavy items down low and the lighter items up high — this reduces the chance of a heavy item falling on you — and to not stack cans more than

BATHROOMS

two high. Storing items safely and at the appropriate height will prevent most kitchen accidents. 


To properly organize your bathroom, you need to cull any items that are

MAXIMIZE YOUR STORAGE. Consider installing pull-out shelves to

not being used, clear your surfaces, sort your items into categories and

make it easier to reach things in the very back of cabinets. Or

maximize your available storage space.

group like items, like bakery goods, in shallow plastic bins that

Start by doing the following tasks: Make a stack of items you

slide out easily and that you can carry over to your countertop.

use daily. Ensure that all medications are out of the reach of children.

Add hooks for coffee mugs to the bottoms of your cabinets, but

Remove multiples or unused items and put them in a “donate or sell”

be sure to leave room for your small appliances on the counter

pile. Dispose of any items that are not working.

if needed. And speaking of appliances, are the ones you have out

DISCARD. Toss make-up, hair products and lotions you haven’t

Efficient and

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Greg Leffler LTCP FSS, Agent So how you really know CALL ME do TODAY. 503 Faulconer Drive, Suite 1A your “bargain” insurance isn’t Charlottesville, VA 22903 too. Bus: 434-296-1010 I'm eco-friendly going to cost you big if you have www.gregleffler.us Whether it's local or global, every little bit we do makes a difference.

an accident? Talk to someone who knows: me. I can help Greg you makeLeffler sure you have the LTCP FSS, Agent coverage you need while saving 503 Faulconer Drive, Suite 1A you money in the process. Charlottesville, VA 22903 Bus: 434-296-1010 GET TO A BETTER STATE™. greg@gregleffler.us CALL ME TODAY.

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used in six months. Products that are dried up or evaporated and old razors need to go, too. Gather medications that have expired and ask your pharmacy about disposing of them.

CLEAR SURFACES. Just like with kitchen counters, bathroom counters should only hold what you use regularly. Move items off the counters into medicine cabinets and out of your way. Now you can easily access the sink and any outlet.

SORT IT OUT. Purchase buckets or caddies at the dollar store and separate your toiletries into categories such as these: cough and cold, hair products, first aid,
 skin care, pain meds. Some of these items

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have migrated to our medicine cabinet, so I regularly reassess what is in our medicine cabinet and move items down to totes in drawers and under-sink cabinets if we have stopped using them. Sunscreen is a good example. During the winter months, it will go into the skin care tote under the sink.

MAXIMIZE SPACE. If extra space is needed, consider installing a medicine cabinet. Pull-out shelving like you may have in the kitchen can also work under the sink in a bathroom cabinet. It allows you to reach items stored all the way at the back of the cabinet with little or no fuss. Bathrooms are an essential part of our daily routine. Having yours ship-shape means less frustration in the morning. As you move about your morning routine, you will inevitably find yourself in your closet, wondering what to wear, so that is where we will go next.

Let us help you connect your financial goals to what matters most When we understand your priorities, we can make them ours. Whether you’re looking to buy a house, vacation home, or investment property, or if you’re ready to renovate or remodel, your home is an important asset and should be part of your overall financial strategy. Speak with your Merrill Lynch financial advisor today about financing options to help you pursue the home — and lifestyle — you’ve always imagined. Scott Patterson Vice President Wealth Management Advisor 434.984.4760 • http://fa.ml.com/scott_patterson Jennifer Patterson Financial Advisor 434.984.4771 • http://fa.ml.com/jennifer.r.patterson Merrill Lynch 650 Peter Jefferson Parkway, Suite 350 Charlottesville, VA 22911

CLOSETS As a professional organizer, I’ve been in homes

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where every closet was jam-packed full of clothing, shoes and accessories. I’ve visited homes in which clothing is hung haphazardly from every doorway and boxes and stacks tumble into hallways, threatening to reach out

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and trip you as you pass by. Nearly every client swears that yes, they wear it all, every bit of it. Ladies (and gentlemen), I have seen it all, and unless you are a quick-change artist and Continued on page 52

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{resources home} January 2nd is Run it Up the Flagpole and See if Anyone Salutes Day

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January 2015

Find information on more great local businesses at CharlottesvilleFamily.com under the Shop Locally tab!

BUYING & PROTECTING AMERICAN NATIONWIDE MORTGAGE SEE AD PG 27 EMBRACE HOME LOANS SEE AD PG 50 LEFFLER, GREG STATE FARM INSURANCE SEE AD PG 48 LORING WOODRIFF REAL ESTATE SEE AD PG 23 MCLEAN FAULCONER SEE AD PG 51 PATTERSON, JENNIFER MERRILL LYNCH SEE AD PG 49 RAMEY, DENISE LONG & FOSTER SEE AD PG 52 MARINA RINGSTRÖM LONG & FOSTER SEE AD PG 28 VIRGINIA NATIONAL BANK SEE AD PG 72


MCLEAN FAULCONER INC. REALTORS

Charlottesville, Virginia’s leading farm, estate and residential brokers invite you to preview a sample of our 2014 current offerings. . .

SHADWELL MOUTAIN ESTATES -Very private, yet extremely convenient location. Wonderful brick Colonial, with post and beam interior, over 4,200 finished sq.ft., 4 BR, 3.5 BA, on 8.7 acres, only 10 minutes from town. $749,500. Steve McLean (434) 981-1863 MLS#517904

SWEEPING MOUNTAIN VIEWS - Extraordinary architect designed, European style, stone & stucco residence, 21 park-like acres in Blandemar Estates. 4BR/4.5BA HoME boasts a magnificent great room that opens onto an elevated walk out terrace w/ panoramic views. Priced well below the cost to reproduce it. $1,595,000. Tim Michel (434) 9601124 or Jim Faulconer (434) 981-0076. MLS#512258.

EDNAM - Beautifully maintained residence in the highly sought after community of Ednam. Living room with fireplace; dining room; kitchen with adjacent tv/sunroom; first floor master; two upstairs bedrooms and two car garage. $725,000 Steve McLean (434)981-1863 MLS#520466

IVY - Home near Murray Elementary in excellent condition. Open kitchen/great room w/fireplace, sunken living room, formal dining room, 3-4 bedrooms, rec room, hardwood floors, garage, decks & beautiful landscaping. $549,000. Betsy Swett, (434) 249-2922. MLS#519787.

MCGUFFEY HILL – First floor condo within seconds of the Downtown Mall. Privately situated this light filled unit has large LR w/ FP, open kitchen w/ adjoining sunroom, DR, 2 large BR w/ adjoining baths. $599,000. Charlotte Dammann (434) 9811250. MLS#518916

HEART OF FREE UNION - 5,500+ sq.ft. Home situated on 5+ ac. in Free Union. Bright open floor plan & full walk-out basement. Beautiful setting w/in 15 min. of Charlottesville. $795,000. Steve McLean (434) 981-1863. MLS #518256

OFF GARTH ROAD - Impeccably maintained mostly 1-level 3 BR home privately situated on 2.76 ac. only 3 miles from C’ville, Blue Ridge view & beautiful pastoral view of adjoining horse farm. Great details in residence, formal & informal. $799,000. Jim Faulconer (434) 981-0076. MLS#519027

QUAKER RUN FARM - Magnificent Blue Ridge views, superb location near National Park, trout streams, miles of trails. Expertly restored, enlarged, and appointed 3BR, 3BA farmhouse. Large barn renovated for entertainment: kitchen, bath, exercise space, many uses, 6 stall stable, incredible setting w/ panoramic views of mountains. $979,000 Jim Faulconer (434) 981-0076. MLS#513585

HISTORIC CARRSBROOK - Built circa 1794, is one of Albemarle County’s most distinguished 18th century homes w/SW mtn & Rivanna River views 4.5 acres, pool, guest house just north of Charlottesville. On Virginia Landmarks Register & National Register of Historic Places. $995,000 . Call Steve McLean (434) 981-1863 MLS#516850.

AMMONETT MOUNTAIN - Circa 1878 4BR farmhouse on 3 acres, home remodeled and enlarged, retaining old Virginia charm. Land is a mix of woods and pastures, bold creek, near Walnut Creek Park, excellent recreational property. $795,000. Jim Faulconer (434) 981-0076. MLS#519305

OLD GARTH ROAD -Wonderful, lightfilled contemporary perched on over 6 acres offering complete tranquility & privacy, 2 min. to City limits & Farmington Country Club. $889,500 Steve McLean (434)9811863 MLS#520140

503 Faulconer Drive - Suite 5, Charlottesville, VA 22903 PH: (434) 295-1131

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{inspiration home} change your outfits at least five times a day, there’s no way you need that many clothes. Get rid of those stacks of shoes. Divest yourself of those multiple pairs of black pants, shirts in

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every color and matching handbags in every shade. Go back to basics and learn to resist buying unneeded items, even if they’re on sale.

APPLY THE 80/20 RULE. Most of us wear 20 percent of our clothes 80 percent of the time. When you think about it, it makes sense. So why keep so many extra clothes? It’s time to figure out what you wear and

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how often you wear it.

ERADICATE. Go through your closets once every six months. Put it in your calendar or schedule it as a task in your computer date book — any way that works for you, but just do it. Get rid of it if any of these are true: You can’t remember the last time you wore it. That button or zipper busted or the hem or seam came loose more than six months ago and you still haven’t fixed it. You have

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its price tags, which means you’ve never worn it. It doesn’t fit you right now and is more than one size off. It is outdated, not your style or just the wrong color. There’s dust on the hanger or the item itself.

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the pole forward) on the pole. After you wear an item, replace it on a hanger facing the right way. At the end of six months or a year, remove all the clothing from hangers still facing the wrong way. If they haven’t been worn in over a year, why keep them? Organizing can be daunting, but just remember this: It didn’t become dis­ organized all at once, and sometimes it takes a few 15- to 30-minute organizing sessions and some tough decision making

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before you will find yourself free of clutter. As you go, be patient with yourself and then celebrate your successes.

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Here’s what my clients have to say about our service: “Denise is without a doubt, the best Realtor we have ever dealt with. Professional to perfection, intelligent & interested in the well-being of her clients. We cannot say enough and will use or recommend her at every opportunity!” — Mike and Denise, Sellers in Bentivar and Buyers in Avon Park, August 2014

www.deniseramey.com 434.960.4333 | deniserameyrealtor@gmail.com ®

52

January 2015

350 Old Ivy Way, Suite 200, Charlottesville, Virginia 22903

Christine is a writer, organizer and community educator who resides in an 1893 Victorian with her youngest daughter, husband and a small menagerie of household pets. This article is adapted from her ebook “Get Organized, Stay Organized” (Amazon).


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I dipped my toes into the waters of self-care and have not looked back since. And I am a better mother and more pleasant person all around as a result.


{inspiration health}

Finding the Me in Family CARING FOR MYSELF IS BEST FOR ALL OF US By Katherine Edwards The kids and I were walking out to the car today and I realized I was — once again — in the role of the pack mule. In my head, I imagined saying, melodramatically, “Don’t mind Mommy, kids! You run ahead and enjoy the sunshine, and I will manage the diaper bag, snack tote, purse, coffee and two extra jackets! No, no! Don’t mind me. I’ll get to the car eventually. You just enjoy yourselves!” The pack mule is a close cousin to the martyr, which is another familiar role for me. I’m prone to either, at any given time, though neither feels particularly enjoyable. And, Lord knows, I have no desire to model either to my children. But these are easy roles for a mom to fall into, right? As the family pack mule this morning, I have a million reasons to carry everything to the car myself and not require my kids to do it. Here are three of those reasons: It is faster. I am less likely than my highly distractible 2-year-old to drop the diaper bag. There is no explaining, no pushback and no complaining if I just do it myself. So I default to carrying all the things myself (but feel a tiny bit resentful at the same time). This is a small example and one that is easy enough to correct. When we got out of the car, later this same morning, I just handed the diaper bag and snack tote to my kids and asked them to be in charge instead. Easy! And I just promoted myself from pack mule to respectable human being, just like that. I have had seasons where this was not so easy, however — longer seasons where I defaulted to doing everything for my family and little for myself, and we all suffered for it. This came to a head when my third child was born, two and a half years ago. At that time, my oldest was 4 and her little brother was 2. I loved being at home with my kids but, man, was it exhausting. My days were very physically engaging and demanding. I spent much of my day repeating the same statements over and over. (“Use gentle hands!” “Don’t forget to shut the door!” “Wash your hands when you are finished!”) No one was in any sort of preschool, so it was just all Mom, all of the time, with the exception of one morning a week when I went to work. I was happy at home with my kids but had very few margins and almost no white space in my life. There was no space to recharge. And then, right on time — enter the third child! CharlottesvilleFamily.com

55


{inspiration health} When our third was born, what few margins I had were squeezed out. My husband was working long hours at a stressful job and could not step in as much as we both

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would have wanted. The baby blues came and camped out for a while, which added a layer of gloom to everything. Am I painting a depressing picture? Things, in fact, felt pretty bleak. I have great friends who were checking in on me all the time, and it was pretty apparent after a while that I was not doing all that well. The final clue might have been the Saturday that I called my friend Megan, crying, and told her I needed help. My husband was working that day and had been working long hours all week. He was trying to get away from work but it would be a few hours before he could get home

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to us. On that particular day, the baby was doing usual baby-cranky stuff, and my preschooler and toddler were acting just fine — but I had no margins left. The baby’s crankiness and resistance to sleep felt overwhelming. I felt like I might start twitching

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and talking to myself (as in, totally cracking up) or just curl up on the couch with a pillow over my head. Neither seemed like a particularly great option, so I called Megan instead. She came over, her own baby in tow, and ordered me out of the house. “Go to a

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coffee shop. Go shopping. Go read somewhere,” she insisted. “Just go. We’ll be fine. Go.”

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up and down the stairs without a stroller. I looked at all of the store items twice and

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I protested for maybe a half a minute, and then I went. I felt guilty. (“Who forces her kids on another mom, who has a little kid of her own?”) I felt pitiful. (“I am the saddest, most overwhelmed mother in all of Charlottesville!”) I felt free. (“My kids are fine with Megan. My husband will be home soon. I neeeeed this time alone!”) On that Saturday, I wandered around the Barn Swallow in Crozet. I enjoyed going picked out a cute hair clip for a friend who was expecting a little girl soon. I didn’t

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have a Baby Bjorn on. I didn’t need to remind any children to use “gentle hands” or to use their “inside voices.” It was just me and a beautiful shop and some time. You all, I dipped my toes into the waters of self-care and have not looked back since. And I am a better mother and more pleasant person all around as a result. Here are a few things I implemented, starting on that Saturday: I hired a personal chef. I have a trainer who comes to my house. I have a full-time nanny. And, finally, I hired a chauffeur. Okay. I am kidding. I just wanted to throw out those far-fetched scenarios that are not a reality for most of us, just to see if you are still reading. Here are three things I actually do to take care of myself. I got a gym membership. After baby three was born and I was obviously having a hard time coming back up for air, some friends chipped in to get me a two-month physician-referred exercise program (PREP) membership to a local gym. And (this is huge!) they also covered my childcare for that entire time. For two months, I got to exercise while my kids were in a massively awesome play area. And I got to shower in peace. And, often, I still had time to sit in the lounge area and read blogs or magazines before collecting the kids and heading home. My PREP membership expired long ago, but we found money in our budget for a regular gym membership. On certain long days, the gym is a lifesaver. I went back to work part-time. My work as a counselor lets me activate a part of my brain that lies dormant otherwise. I get to engage with adults on really hard things and really beautiful things — and there is a part of me that comes alive when I get to do that.

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We have great sitters on my two workdays, and the kids and I get a break from each other. I get to miss them because, you know, I am away from them long enough to miss them. We all benefit. I require more from my kids. More help with chores at home. More responsibility for their toys and clothes. More participation in getting meals on the table and with clean-up afterward.

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January 2015


This is all a contrast to martyr-mom, whom I mentioned earlier. Martyr-mom does not require much of her kids. She dutifully cleans and cooks and drives, putting her own needs aside for the needs of others. Gym time, writing time, work time, coffee-with-friends time — those are few and far between, unless the kids are totally sold on whatever activity will occupy them in the meantime. This is just the reality of motherhood, right? “My time” will come in about 18 years, give or take. But let’s be honest. Being martyrmom kind of sucks. It feels like wearing a perfectly serviceable coat that does the job and keeps you warm but itches you the whole time. You can’t relax into it. You don’t really, truly enjoy it. It’s too uncomfortable. You end up resenting the coat, as functional as it may be. When I stopped being a martyr and started requiring more from my kids,

I am showing my children that I am a full and complete person and not just someone who cleans or cooks for them.

everything felt better, more “right.” I see my kids picking up their own toys or putting their dishes in the dishwasher and think, “Yes. This is better for them and better for me. Everyone functions

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{inspiration health} A New You in 2015 FITNESS ACAC see ad pg 61 ATA Leadership Martial Arts see ad pg 40

Heppner Family Chiropractic see ad pg 56

Family Medicine of Albemarle see ad pg 53

Hot Yoga see ad pg 58

Jefferson Obstetrics & Gynecology see ad pg 10

Charlottesville Dermatology see ad pg 61

Jazzercise see ad pg 56

Charlottesville Orthodontics see ad pg 9

MIND & BODY

Crozet Family Dental

Ashtanga Yoga of Charlottesville see ad pg 30

see ad pg 59

Obstetrics and Gynecology Associates see ad pg 60 Drs. Rice & Associates, DDS see ad pg 58

Shelter for Help in Emergency (SHE) see ad pg 71 Stacy’s Music see ad pg 68

Dr. Edward Wolanski, Ob/Gyn see ad pg 31

Dennis, Suzanne, DDS see ad pg 60

Georgilakis, Cassandra, M.Ed. see ad pg 60

Monticello Nannies see ad pg 71 Restoration United Methodist Church see ad pg 71

HEALTH & WELLNESS

Boar’s Head Sports Club see ad pg 57

NEW RESOLUTIONS

Wolfe, J. C., DDS see ad pg 65

Earlysville Family Dentistry see ad pg 59

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better in these roles.” I am not beating back my resentment with a stick. My kids are contributing to our family in a way that practices respect and gratitude. I am showing my children that I am a full and complete person and not just someone who cleans or cooks for them. Can I repeat that last part? It is important: I am showing my children that I am a full and complete person and not just someone who cleans or cooks for them. When I require more from my kids, I show them my full value as a person —

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not the one-dimensional view of me as a service provider in the background, but a three-dimensional, real person. With joys and annoyances and needs and . . . all of it. Under the topic of “requiring more of my kids,” I want you to know that my kids don’t really like going to the gym anymore. The thrill of it wore off, oh, months ago. But this is part of taking care of myself, so we go anyway. Martyr-mom would not put her kids in the gym childcare if they

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about that, it’s a great chance to talk about how this is time for me and how it helps me recharge my batteries. We are a family, and sometimes family members

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January 2015


UNDERSTANDING CYBERBULLYING Know What’s Happening and What You Can Do

By Kristin Sancken

I

was a teen in the Wild West years of the Internet, when no rules

I thought I would never get caught. That, to me, was the beauty

had yet to be established and everything was expanding into

of the Internet. While I’ve never hacked into anyone’s accounts

new territory. I used my best friend’s e-mail to sign her up for a

or sent threatening messages, 15 years later, all of these acts

contest to win a Vespa that she had no interest in winning. She

are considered some form of cyberbullying. I, apparently, was a

got junk mail for years. My sister and I made fun of people from

cyberbully.

Idaho on AOL message boards, until we realized we knew nothing

But I was also cyberbullied. I remember logging into my

about Idaho except its propensity for potatoes. I also created a

Facebook account one day in college to find all of my settings

fake Instant Messenger profile to communicate anonymously

changed to trite “valley girl” responses like, “Interests: ‘I only like

with a boy I had a crush on. He still ignored me.

to talk about me, me, me.’” Even though I was 22 by that time, I

I knew it wasn’t right to lie, but as a kid who never got in trouble otherwise, it was exhilarating to lie in such a way that

called home and cried to my parents. It felt deeply and personally insulting. To this day I have no idea who did it. CharlottesvilleFamily.com

63


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Today’s teens and their social lives are mired even more deeply in the Internet than we ever thought possible two decades ago. Over 95 percent of teens (aged 12–17) access the Internet daily from a home computer, while almost half of teens have smart phones, a survey by the Pew Research Center revealed last year. It’s safe to assume that anything that happened in our social lives as middle schoolers and high schoolers is happening in the social lives of today’s teenagers — only magnified. Not only might bullying and teasing happen at school, but with the advent of

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the Internet, kids can’t find rest within the safety of their home because social interactions continue online after the last school bell rings. “Kids are going to be kids, and they’re going to do what we did on paper. However, now it’s public and 500 people can see it,” says Leslie Fendley, a school counselor

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cyberbullying include mean text messages or emails, rumors sent by email or posted on social networking sites and embarrassing pictures, videos, websites or fake profiles. In the past several years, there have been a number of high-profile cyberbullying cases. We’re hearing more about cyber­bullying these days not just because it makes a sensational headline, but also because it’s actually happening more. With the increased use of smart phones, online supervision of tweens and teens has decreased. From 2009 to 2011, cyberbullying incidents increased 45 percent across the nation. Academic research shows that girls are more likely to be victims of cyberbullying, while boys are more likely to be victims of in-person bullying. Likewise, in-person bullying tends to peak in the sixth grade, but cyberbullying is just beginning in middle school and continues through out high school. “Based on social-dominance theory, sixth graders in middle school need to

Free Kindness with Every Order! 64

using electronic technology. Examples of

establish their position in the new social group, and

some

students

may

use


bullying as a means to reach higher social status,” says University

What is popular with tweens and teens online shifts so quickly

of Virginia Assistant Professor Ji Hoon Ryooat, who studies

that half the time they don’t know what the students are talking

cyberbullying. “Cybervictimization increases over time. This

about. “The kids are always aware of the most current technologies

increase in cybervictimization may be related to increased access

before we are,” says McDade. “Just trying to decipher texts is hard

to the Internet and mobile devices as adolescents get older.”

enough. It’s a whole new language.”

Playing Catch-Up with Technology

avoid it for interacting with their friends because their parents and

Like Fendley, Laurie McDade is a school counselor at Burley

other adults also use it, according to studies by the Pew Research

Middle School. They say they see cyberbullying on a regular basis.

Center. Texting between cell phones is the quiet king of teen

A decade ago Facebook was new and fresh. Today most teens

“It’s kids going on Facebook and saying mean things about

communication, with over 87 percent of teens texting their friends

other kids, knowing that those other kids can see the mean

on a daily basis. Other social networking sites like Instagram, Vine,

remarks,” says McDade. “A child is being criticized or being made

Tumblr and Snapchat are havens for teens because of their focus

fun of and doesn’t know who is saying things about them, but the

on photos and videos and the fact that these services are not as

comments are public and they are humiliating.”

widely used by adults.

“Many times it seems to be about appearance, like weight,

“The most scary [social networking sites] are the ones like

or something sexual in nature,” adds Fendley. “We’ve also seen

Snapchat that are quick and then remove responsibility,” Fendley

people create a [web]site like a ‘I hate such and such’ site.”

explains. Snapchat allows users to capture videos and pictures

“We often see young females who friend someone on Facebook who isn’t a true friend, and something nasty is said,” points out Stephanie Heath, a counselor at Buford Middle School. “Parents need to talk to their children about the importance of only friending people they know and would consider a friend, not just

that self-destruct after a few seconds of being read by the receiver, making it difficult to investigate allegations of cyberbullying.

Privacy Versus Protection

If you’ve gotten this far and you’re thinking, “I don’t need to

friending everyone for the sake of having Facebook friends. Often

keep reading, my child has never been cyberbullied,” think again.

times they just want to have a big number, like ‘I have 400 friends

It seems parents are usually out of the loop when their child is

and you only have 200.’”

being bullied online. The National Consumer’s League found that

Both Fendley and McDade say the hardest thing about their

when parents were asked whether or not their children were

work to prevent cyberbullying is keeping up with the technology.

cyberbullied, only 3 percent responded that it had happened

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{inspiration parenting} Preventing Cyber-Bullying: An Age-by-Age Guide ELEMENTARY Don’t create social network profiles for your kids. Most social media websites and apps require that kids be 13 to sign up. Despite what many think, this isn’t to limit kids’ exposure to inappropriate content but because of the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA), which prevents companies from collecting certain information from kids under 13.

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Supervise online usage. When very young children start using a computer, a parent or caregiver should supervise them closely. Parents may wish to choose the websites their kids visit early on and not let them leave those sites on their own. If little kids aren’t supervised online, they may stumble onto sites that could scare or confuse them. Keep the computer in a public area. As early as age 8, kids will want to begin exploring the Internet on their own. They need to feel independent but not alone. It’s important to be with them — or at least nearby — when they’re online. Consider keeping the computer in an area where the child has access to you or another adult. MIDDLE SCHOOL Think about limits. Many tweens are adept at finding information online, but they still need adult guidance to help them understand which sources are trustworthy. As you consider what your tweens see and do on the Internet, think about how much time they spend online. Consider setting limits on how often they can be online and how long those sessions should be. Consider parental controls. For younger tweens, parental controls — including filtering or monitoring tools — can be effective. However, be aware that many middle school kids have the technical know-how to get around them. Keep passwords secret, except from you. Tell kids to keep their passwords safe and not share them with friends. Sharing passwords compromises their control over their online identities. But still, make sure you know your kid’s passwords. To encourage trust, tell your child how often you will check their online activity. Will it be just when there is an emergency? Or every week? HIGH SCHOOL Establish rules about technology use. Be clear about what sites they can visit and what they’re permitted to do online. Don’t assume that they already know what’s appropriate. Help them be smart about what they post or say. Remind them that “it’s a small world, after all.” A teenager’s sense of invincibility extends to his or her online activity. They are likely to take risks that don’t make sense to adults. A good general rule is “Don’t post anything online if you’d be embarrassed if Grandma saw it,” because in today’s hyperconnected world, Grandma may actually come across something that your child thought was a secret just between friends. Once something is posted, it is out of their control whether someone else will forward it.

66

January 2015


to their children. Yet according to the Cyberbullying Research

don’t know is going on unless you’re reading it.”

Center, about 21 percent of teens have been cyberbullied. If these

Olivia B., a seventh grader at Jack Jouett Middle School, agrees

numbers are true, a whopping 85 percent of teens who are bullied

that texts can be a significant source of drama within her friend

online never tell their parents about it.

group. “We text a lot,” she says. “Once or twice there have been

And here develops a unique dilemma of parenting in an age of technology: How involved should you be in your child’s online behavior? Should you access their secret, online world? Or respect their privacy? Get their passwords, advise McDade and Fendley. “Parents always say it’s too much trouble to monitor their

misunderstandings because of texts and making jokes that people thought were true.”

Don’t Overreact

So let’s say you start checking your child’s texts and online social

children online, but it really will affect their future,” says Fendley.

networks and find that unkind words are being volleyed toward

“Colleges and human resources are checking online behavior. You

your child. Or, perhaps worse, you find that your child is being

don’t let your child walk out topless to go to school. In the same

cruel to someone else. What then? First, keep the evidence and

way, why would you not want to monitor how they are putting

don’t respond to or forward the messages. Then, well, it depends.

themselves out there online?”

If the messages contain threats of violence, sexually explicit

“Parents need to make sure they monitor their kids online,”

messages, stalking, hate crimes or a photo or video of someone

says Buford Middle School counselor Megan Kingsley. “They are

in a place where he or she would expect privacy (for example, a

minors and I don’t think any of this technology was ever intended

locker room), then report it immediately to the police. For all other

for use by minors.”

unpleasant messages, take a deep breath. Local Charlottesville child psycho­ therapist Michael Garcia advises to take things slowly. “No matter the circumstance, it is important to slow things down and have some space for the grown ups to think and for parents to think with their child,” says Garcia. “Getting a lot of other people involved and overdramatizing the situation can make it worse. Laughing it off or playing along can also backfire. Take it seriously. Help your child cope with the traumatic experience of it,” adds Kingsley.

StopBullying.gov, a project of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, agrees with Fendley and McDade. The website suggests that the online world is no different from the real world, and it recommends that you approach this just as you would if your child were going out to a party: Ask where they’re going, what they’re doing, and who they’re doing it with. Fendley has a seventh-grade daughter herself. “I do a oncea-week check of [my daughter’s] texts,” says Fendley. “We have a flat-out, open conversation about it, because there is so much you

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Can’t decipher your teenager’s texts? It’s humbling to need it, but Urban Dictionary provides definitions for the entire gamut of teen vocabulary. Check with caution — what you find out may surprise you.


Cyberbullying cases are often more complicated than they appear on the outside. The line between “real world” issues and “cyber” issues is blurry; thus there are many layers of social context that need to be taken into consideration. “Bullying is such a catchphrase now, but when you pare it down to what is actually happening, it usually isn’t a case of bullying,” says McDade. “Your child and a friend are having an argument. They are absolutely equal in power and in their status within their relationship. Bullying involves an imbalance of power. Most of the time, it’s a conflict, not bullying.” “If it’s repeated and intentional and there is a power imbalance, then it’s bullying,” says Fendley. Power imbalances that occur for middle schoolers and high schoolers include sexual harassment, strength in numbers, being cool versus being marginalized or a great difference in physical size or socioeconomic status. Regardless of what the situation may be, notify the school. “We can check objectively and investigate it, so that parents aren’t assuming the worst. It might be something simple,” Fendley notes. “Parents should always contact the school if there is something going on with their child that they’re concerned about. Sometimes kids will talk to the school counselors in a way that they wouldn’t talk to their parents, so we can get different information,” says Kingsley. If you feel more action needs to be taken, report cyberbullying to the social media sites themselves or to your Internet service provider, which can take action against users abusing the terms of service. I may have been both a participant in and a victim of cyberbullying back in the day, but now I’m a mom and it scares me to think my 5-year-old daughter may be entering that world soon. How will I keep her safe? How will she navigate this maze of adolescence and technology? As with all parental challenges, communication is key. Talk to your child. Talk to your child’s school. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Kristin is a local social worker, freelance writer and mom of two daughters. She worked as a middle school social worker for two years before becoming a

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{until next time humorous reflections}

A Child at the Wheel I Still See a Preschooler Behind the Wheel by Rick Epstein

“Dad, why don’t I drive Wendy to Shannon’s house?” asks

moment to being an experienced driver who won’t? By

my oldest daughter, Marie.

driving. “OK,” I say. “But wait until after dinner, so rush hour

Why not? Because she is newly licensed and doesn’t

will be over.”

even know the way to Cousin Shannon’s house, which is

The expedition grows to include middle daughter, Sally,

24 miles away. Wendy has been there many times, but she

who is 14 and loves to ride in a car with another child at

is only 10 and wouldn’t be much help. And because of this

the wheel.

haunting memory —

Before they set sail, I say, “Girls — I know you’re excited

I was in the back yard assembling a new wheelbarrow,

going out in a carload of fun companions. But if you value your lives, do not distract Marie. Try to keep her focused on

when Marie asked, “Can I help?” “Sure,” I said. “Hold these nuts and bolts.” And I poured

the road and the other cars.” They listen tolerantly, but they

the dozen pieces out of an envelope into her hand. “Hold

seem to be thinking, “Good thing we don’t live on his planet.

these and give them to me as I ask for them, OK?”

On ours, children are invulnerable.”

“OK,” she said, and I went back to studying the

It’s a 45-minute trip. So when Marie hadn’t returned

instructions. About 5 minutes later I looked up and found

after two hours, Betsy called Marie’s and Sally’s cell phones

Marie playing a little game. She would fling the handful of

— without result. She called Shannon’s house and learns

hardware into the thick grass about six feet away and then

that the girls hadn’t arrived yet. Another nervous half-hour

try to find each piece. “Hey!” I yelled. “Don’t do that. You’ll

crawled by, and Betsy called again. Still no girls. Betsy, who

lose ’em.”

is not much of a crier, was sobbing, “We never should have “Daddy,” she explained, “the game is to

let them go.” While she was burning off her panicky energy

find them. I wouldn’t play a game to

by scrubbing the kitchen floor, I was on the phone, calling

lose them!” Yes, she was only 4 years old at the time, but to a

To a parent, a grown child has not replaced her baby self. She contains that self and all her other selves, too.

a succession of state police stations, asking about wrecks. At the three-hour mark, Marie finally called from Shannon’s house. “We got lost. What’s the big deal?”

parent, a grown child

Why hadn’t they called? It hadn’t occurred to her.

has not replaced her

Besides, her mobile-phone battery was dead and Sally

baby self. She contains

hadn’t brought her phone.

that self and all her

The next morning, when we press her for details, Marie

other selves, too. So

gets angry and won’t discuss it. Empty McDonald’s cups in

I still mistrust her

the car account for a few of the missing minutes. Young

judgment; that little

Wendy fills in the gap later. One of the missing hours had

hardware tosser is still

been spent going in the wrong direction on the interstate

in there somewhere.

and the other hour had been spent coming back. It could

Looking at the teen­

happen to anybody (that is, anybody who has always been

age Marie, I try to think

carted from place to place like a dog in a box and knows no

of what to say, but dismay is written on my face.

local geography). We’re not sending Marie anywhere difficult right away,

“Dad,” she pursues, “I want to build

but when we do, she’ll have a fully charged phone battery,

up your confidence in me with a lot of good driving, so you

and we’ll make sure she brings her little sister. Wendy can’t

can, like, trust me and not make sad faces whenever I want

prevent disaster, but later, during the investigation, she’s as

to borrow the car.”

useful as an airplane’s black box.

Well, she has a point. How do you go from being an inexperienced driver who is apt to drive into a tree at any

70

January 2015

Rick can be reached at rickepstein@yahoo.com.


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2-Day, 3-Day, and 5-Day Programs Smaller Class Sizes Ÿ 2-Year Old Program Family Oriented, Cooperative Atmosphere

Providing speech and langauge therapy,

Forscreenings more information or to registerto your child today, and evaluations your child please visit our website! at their school, daycare or our clinic.

paranpreschool.com

Erika robinson, M.Ed., CCC-sLP Speech Language Pathologist

(434) 960-5781 • www.talklc.net

Our admissions policy reflects our desire to maintain diversity in race, family income, national origin, gender and cultural background among the children we serve.

Just 2 Blocks from UVA • 434-977-3322 CharlottesvilleFamily.com

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I saw a more dependable wireless device. Virginia National Bank saw the potential. David Bean, Frontline Test Equipment, Inc.

AT VIRGINIA NATIONAL BANK, WE KNOW THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING LOCAL. When David Bean and his colleagues wanted to become the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s leading provider of BluetoothÂŽ and USB analytic technology, we saw the potential. Unlike larger banks, we know our region and our borrowers personally, and provide direct access to a decision maker to secure the business loan you need. Learn more about how your No. 1 community bank helps your business and your community get stronger every day. Contact a lender today at 434.817.7676 or visit vnb.com to share your next big idea.

CharlottesvilleFamily January 2015  
CharlottesvilleFamily January 2015  

Volume 16 Issue 1