2014 December Inside Chappaqua by The Inside Press: Inside Chappaqua & Inside Armonk

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Let it Snow… We’ve Got You Covered! Why we MUST Talk about Mental Health A Once in a Lifetime Bike Ride

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4. May all your Holidays be Bright! By Beth Besen

Happenings

31. Little Free Libraries, IDF’s Visit to Westchester, and a Coco Chanel Talk 33. Bet Torah’s Mitzvah Makers and Chappaqua Cares

Wisdom from our Sponsors

35. Local Ideas for Unconventional Gift Giving this Holiday Season

Letter to the Editor

39. A Thank You from the League Plus: A Just Between Us note from the Publisher

Et Cetera

40. Advanced Holiday Placement By Dan Levitz

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Features 6. Tour de Mid-Life Crisis Local resident Ken Fuirst’s coast-to-coast bike ride. By Dan Levitz 8. Four Legged Love Pets are the perfect presence in our lives. But are they present-perfect? Be sure before you decide to adopt or buy. By Eileen Gallagher 11. Shining a Light in The Dark Coming together as a community, we mourn the loss of a beloved young man taken far too soon even as we try to better understand, via interviews with experts, the terrible suffering caused by the demon that is depression. By Janine Haynes 12. A Father’s Viewpoint Rich Klein has a blog in which he sensitively addresses his family’s tragic loss; here, he offers our readers his insights too. 14. Six Degrees of…Reading Enjoying a good book is made that much better when there’s a frisson of local excitement thrown in for good measure. Local authors and their latest books are what this story’s all about. By Sarah Ellen Rindsberg 16. Winter-Ready in Chappaqua An Inside look at how our town has planned and prepared for the worst while, of course, hoping for the best. By Eileen Gallagher 23. Note Worthy! The Chappaqua Orchestra brings the gift of music to so many. By Leslie Weissman Plus: Eileen Gallagher reports on a generous TCO performance inside a correctional facility.

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COVER: Capturing the calm after last year’s storm in Chappaqua. Photo by: Marianne A. Campolongo Freelance writer, editor and photographer mariannecampolongo@me.com www.campyphotos.com

Gift From: 2 Inside Chappaqua Winter 2014/2015

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May all your Holidays be Bright! Ahhhh, December. From fa la las to latkes and snow angels to Nutcracker soldiers, the sounds and sights of the holiday season are upon us. Our kids are counting Beth Besen down the days to their holiday vacations. And, let’s be honest, we’re excited too! Whether we’re anticipating a lengthy break or just looking forward to a long weekend amongst loved ones, the very fact that everything actually slows down and then stops for one full calendar day is truly wonderful! Maybe you’re hosting friends and family this year? Make sure to take them into town and show off this pretty place we call home. After all, Chappaqua always looks especially lovely for the holidays, trimmed in twinkling lights, inviting shoppers and diners while beckoning neighbors and visitors to linger just a bit longer.

“We’ve asked some readers to share their favorite “unconventional” gifts, and added a few ideas of our own.” One magical event worth mentioning–the annual tree lighting, which took place this year on December 6th. Hope you got to town early; not just for the best view, but for the noteworthy special addition to the evening! Either way, be sure to enjoy our story about The Chappaqua Orchestra; we’re sure it’ll strike a chord of pleasure. Indeed, our picture-perfect setting sets a tone of warmth and good cheer. But it’s not all showy surfaces. Another reason to be proud of our town is the safety we feel here. When our middle school students roam the town on Fridays, we worry and fret, but we also know that they are inherently safe. Our crossing guards do their best and, we, in the true spirit of community, do the rest! Eyes and ears keep 4 Inside Chappaqua Winter 2014/2015

kindly track of everyone and everything from kids and pets to coyotes and any other threats. And though we’ve had our share of severe winters (and been humbled by a handful of extreme storms), our infrastructure is stronger and sounder than ever. Local emergency response teams use systems like Code Red and Nixle to keep us informed and help us feel protected, connected and safe. We are the very definition of the Village that “it takes.” Read more about our town’s preparation for winter in Ready Set Winter. Who are the neighbors we rub elbows with in town? Some, of course, we know well. Others are friendly faces we see so regularly that we develop a patterned acquaintanceship-relationship; we grab the same coffees, catch the same trains, join carpool lanes and walk pets on similar schedules. We know, and perhaps wonder about that which we don’t know. Sound like the start of a good mystery novel or thriller? I’m not the one to write it, but I know (or, case in point, know of) a couple of local guys who very well could! Yes, spoiler alert, there are authors among us. And, as books are presents we open again and again, I suggest you flip to A Literary Taste of Chappaqua for a couple of really great gift ideas.

the holiday season brings, it’s equally important to recognize that stress and tension often come along for the ride. Perfect family get-togethers are the hallmark, of, well, Hallmark. Movies, that is. Real life comes with ups and downs. For most of us, mood swings are managed and turbulence is tolerated. But, for others, life is exponentially harder. Mental illness, like its physical counterpart, can hurt. Intensely. Directly. And indirectly too. The holidays can be particularly hard. Visions of sugarplums simply don’t dance for everyone at this time of year. December days darken early, but the truth is, mental illness can darken any month and any family. To help shed some light and offer first-person insights, we bring you Time To Talk and When It’s Personal. Do make and take some time to read and enjoy these critically important articles. A year ago, I wrote my first guest editorial for Inside Chappaqua. The theme was one of Healthy Holidays, and it was a labor of appreciation and pay-it-forward love. As is often the case, paying something forward comes back to you in kind. Since that holiday issue, I’ve had the good fortune to become acquainted with many new faces and places, explore issues known and new, and work with some truly inspiring, bright, funny and talented people. What a wonderful gift! Thank you, Grace; thank you, sponsors; thank you, readers!

Speaking of gifts, we’ve got a few more thoughtful suggestions inside, and they’re not necessarily the usual suspects. We know that you know that “all that glitters is not gold”, that Wishing everyone the very best this “good things come in small packages”, holiday and in the year ahead, that, as the infamous Grinch pon-Beth dered, “Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store.” Still, we’ve asked some readers www.theinsidepress.com to share their Winter 2014/2015 • Volume 11, Number 10 favorite “unconExecutive Editor Graphic Designer Web Design ventional” gifts, Beth Besen Dina Spalvieri Annette van Ommeren and added a few Accounts/Billing General Counsel ideas of our own. Carine Feist Brian Hand We encourage you Inside Chappaqua is published six to eight times a year, and is owned and operated by The Inside Press, Inc. Mailing address: PO Box 643, Millwood, NY 10546. Phone Number: to use The Gift of 914-238-2600. Copyright © 2013. All rights reserved. Printed in the USA. Reproduction of Time as a point of any portion is prohibited without permission from the publisher. Inside Chappaqua may not necessarily agree with any one editorial viewpoint or necessarily departure to think endorse a particular product or service advertised. Editorial submissions should be mailed to the outside the everyabove address (please enclose an SASE) or sent to editor@insidechappaqua.com. day gift box! For more information, rates and advertising calendar, go to www.insidechappaqua.com. Publisher & Editor, Grace Bennett Even as we celFor Story Ideas or Press Release submissions, please email: editor@insidechappaqua.com or beth@insidechappaqua.com ebrate the many For Advertising Inquires, please email: advertising@insidechappaqua.com joyous moments TM

Winter 2014/2015 Inside Chappaqua 5

Ken's Bike Ride: A Coast to Coast Mid-Life Journey By Dan Levitz We’ve all seen that guy. He’s of a certain age, past his chronological physical peak and trying just a bit too hard to look cool. Sure, the lines of the Porsche convertible are enviable and it must be just fantastic to drive that purring, powerful machine just a little too fast. Yet, it’s easy, as he speeds by, to knowingly snicker that guy must be having a serious Mid-Life Crisis. The Mid-Life Crisis (MLC) has become something of a cliche. Fair or not, a young man (or woman) driving that very same car might be viewed as successful go-getter. However, change the driver back to the guy with a receding hairline wearing aviator sunglasses, and admiration is instantly replaced by amateur psycho-analysis with a certain diagnosis of MLC. And, perhaps, a mildly sad feeling that the driver isn’t the slightest bit aware of his transparent attempt to cling to his fleeting youth. When Chappaqua resident Ken Fuirst began his amazing cross country bike ride (something he’d wanted to accomplish before he reached the age of fifty) it’s quite possible that people might have seen him on the road and thought to themselves, MLC. It might have surprised and even disarmed these folks to learn that he had entitled his BLOG documenting his journey as “Ken’s Bike Ride, My Midlife Crisis” (www.kensbikeride.com). In talking to Ken though, the feeling that came through was that this adventure was not a reaction to the inevitable aging process, but a culmination of a lifetime of impressive physical and, in the case of this Bike Ride, also emotional challenges.

Ken ceremoniously dips his bike in the Pacific Ocean at the start of his coast-to-coast journey.

6 Inside Chappaqua Winter 2014/2015

completely off the grid; he worked on his BLOG every evening and, interestingly, people he’d met on the trip began reading the BLOG and following along with the almost 1000 others who were tuned in. This aspect of the journey was something of a pleasant surprise and, most definitely, Ken experienced a somewhat unique slice of life of America.

Ken’s office threw him a going-away party.

On June 16th, 2014, after flying to Seattle and ceremoniously dipping his bicycle tire in the Pacific Ocean, Ken began his bike ride in the town of Anacortes, Washington with the intention of biking the Northern Tier Route across the United States. After about two months, on schedule, Ken dipped the same tire in the Atlantic Ocean as he was reunited with his family and friends after not a small amount of peddling. Ken’s BLOG really documents the trip quite nicely with lots of photos, insights and reporting. It’s a good read and highlights include a perfect windaided day where he cycled 170 miles (normal days goal about 70 miles), a surprisingly meaningful visit to Mount Rushmore, scarily avoiding tragic consequences as truckers aggressively hogged the road and, most significantly, an emotional visit to a Memorial site for his late close friend Captain David J. Sielewicz in Montana. In reflecting upon the trip, Ken notes that “meeting people along the way was most definitely the highlight.” While biking 8 to 10 hours a day is a severely solitary endeavor, Ken enjoyed knowing that he wasn’t

I was interested in the logistics of arranging the trip, especially as my vision of MLCs almost always has someone exclaiming “Please do not do this!” However, Ken clearly had the support of his family and, with the BLOG, they were able to follow along closely. As for work, Ken is a partner at Levitt-Fuirst Associates Insurance and his supportive partner and talented staff allowed him to bike away with no real worries professionally. Although it doesn’t conform with my pre-conceived notions, I really do admire Ken’s MLC. As a fellow man of that certain age, I’ve been considering, in a very preliminary manner, a variety of MLC options myself. Rejected contenders include a piercing (I’m way too self-conscious and infection-phobic), a tattoo (sadly, this is not even slightly rebellious anymore), baseball fantasy camp (depressing to see former pro players in worse shape than I am) and surgically enhanced calves (can’t deal with vanity and, believe me, my calves are the least of my problems). Ken was smart and fortunate; his MLC seemed to involve very little actual crisis other than trying not to get knocked off the road by an 18 wheeler. For better or worse, mine is still TBD. Through pledges, Ken’s Bike Ride was able to raise a healthy donation for Habitat For Humanity. However, Ken explained that “it would be disingenuous to make the bike ride just about charity as this trip was for me.” Maybe that’s what a MLC really is about in whatever form it may take. Something solely for oneself–which really doesn’t sound crisis-like at all. Dan has lived in Chappaqua for ten years and is an art dealer and writer with a blog on The Huffington Post.

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Paws and Reflect

Choosing, and Keeping, the Gift that Keeps on Giving By Eileen Gallagher All across the country, ily, but one of her daughters, seven parents hear the same year old Gracie Bea, is very allergic. refrain from their children– “We needed to be really careful “Can’t we get a [dog/cat/ about the breed,” Frasch explained. rabbit/hamster/bird]?” As After watching their friends’ puppy the holidays approach, the (a sibling of Buster) for 12 hours requests get more urgent, with no breathing issues for her and increasingly difficult to daughter, Frasch felt comfortable resist. Who wouldn’t want having Buster join their family. to see a child’s eyes light up at the sight of a cuddly Was everyone in the Frasch famball of fur in a festive box? ily in on the decision? “This will be And it’s not just children a member of our family,” Frasch that receive pets as gifts for With everyone in agreement, the Frasch family recently welcomed had said to her husband. “If you’re special occasions. Parents not on board with this, I don’t want their newest addition–Buster. are surprised with a gift that to do it.” Frasch’s three children, as the sole caregiver. Knowing this keeps on giving, as well as Honor, Christian, and Gracie Bea, ahead of time makes the adjustment spouses, significant others, siblings, had all wanted a dog for years, but less jarring. and roommates. their parents were waiting until the time was right. If you are unsure about surprising Is it wise to bring a pet home for your family with the right pet, Petructhe holidays? According to Stephanie Buster, named for the special nickcelli offered a creative suggestion. Petruccelli, an long time assistant at name Frasch’s father Joseph had for “Make up a gift basket with a picture Mt Kisco Veterinary Clinic, it’s all in 10 year old Christian, is very much of a dog or cat and some toys and sup- loved and appreciated. Frasch told of the planning. “As long as the whole plies to put under the tree, and then go the close relationship between her fafamily is on board, especially the paras a family after the holiday to pick out ther and son before her father passed ents,” she advised. “It’s a whole family your new companion.” responsibility.” away, and how Christian always said that he would love to have a boy dog so Asked if she has seen many cases of “Avoid impulse buys,” continued he could name him Buster in honor of returned pets after the holidays are Petruccelli. Taking the time to visit his grandfather. When Buster became over, Petruccelli said not really in this shelters or breeders is important in available, with his sibling Bella living area. “People are making educated finding the right fit for your home right down the street, the Frasch’s as opposed to snap decisions.” She situation. For example, some families knew the time was right. stressed that the two most important have a more active lifestyle than othfactors in getting a pet for the holiers, and might do well with an enerIf you do decide to make a happy getic dog. Others might be more suited days, or at any time for that matter, addition, keep it fun but do your are to be prepared, and to avoid imto have a calmer, more sedentary pet. homework first. It is best to have pulse decisions. food, an appropriately sized crate, Charmaine McCleave, owner of bedding, toys, a collar, and a leash on The Frasch family decided to take Charmaine’s Dog Salon in Somers, hand before Fluffy or Fido comes to the plunge and recently brought home stay. Arrange an appointment with a stressed taking the age of the chiltheir golden-doodle puppy, Buster. dren into account. Her “pet peeve” is veterinarian and, if this is a first pet, Georgia Frasch, who happens to be hearing people say that their dog is a trainer as well. “Baby-proof” your one of the moderators of the Facebook home which might have such holiday matted because their children didn’t keep up with the brushing and groom- group “Chappaqua Moms,” shared hazards as small toys, ribbons, and their story. ing. Parents are the ones who will wrapping paper. And enjoy the new ultimately be responsible for the care member of your family! “We believe our children should of any pet, reminded McCleave, herself grow up with animal love, compasthe mother of three boys. “Children Eileen Gallagher is an 11- year resident are children, and often forget to brush sion, responsibility, and empathy,” said of Chappaqua and the mother of four Frasch, herself a longtime dog rescuer. boys, two of the canine variety. An avid their own hair.” For 30 years, she had either fostered or dog lover, she recently joined the orMcCleave brought up another point: permanently adopted dogs she found ganization “Puppy Rescue Mission,” an abandoned in the streets of her neigh- organization which assists in bringing Cats and dogs are a 10 to 15 year or borhood in Manhattan. She would longer commitment. Your child might dogs home from war to their military have loved to rescue a dog for her fam- companions. be going off to college and leaving you 8 Inside Chappaqua Winter 2014/2015

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TIME TO TALK:

Broaching the Difficult Topic of Depression and Suicide in Teens and Young Adults By Janine Crowley Haynes “We hope that by heightening awareness about mental health challenges, we can make a difference in the lives of persons whose painful struggle can feel so bleak at times and to provide opportunities to seek valuable help and resources. Miles' enduring love for his family and friends, gentle ways, and deep sensitivity he had for others will always remain within all of us. We are thankful to have clips of Miles playing his guitars, photos of him running at many of his track meets swift as a deer, countless family occasions and his poetry writings–a powerful means for us to connect to him, cherish the memories and to reflect on. As the mother of Miles, my dream is for anyone who struggles with depression to not be afraid of reaching out to ask for help, and for the professionals to have better means of assessing depression from its earliest onset. My message is that there is always hope to see the light beyond the darkness– when one can muster the courage no matter how painful it may feel–and know that with a new day there is always a new beginning. Miles would have wanted us to spread the love so please let your readers know to hug someone they care about everyday!” Shari, Ed, Max and Hannah Along with so many in our Westchester community, my heart broke when I heard the news of Miles Applebaum’s untimely death.* Young people taking their own lives is happening all too often in our communities. The American Psychological Association (APA) notes that suicide is the third leading cause of death in teens and young people, ages 15-24, and that it’s increasing at an alarming rate. In addition, for every completed suicide, there are approximately 100-200 attempts. The topic of mental illness and suicide, especially amongst our kids, is a complicated, emotionally charged topic not easily open for public discussion. For me, it unearths the pain and guilt of my own suicide attempt. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 31, but

looking back, I presented symptoms as a teen that flew under the radar. I am one in four (approximately 61.5 million) adult Americans struggling with a mental illness in a given year. We all know the protocol when one is diagnosed with a mental illness. Early intervention is key. We do our research, seek professional help, and decide on the best form of treatment. But when our child is assigned a diagnosis, how do we know if they’re at risk for suicide? Not all children fit the clinical mold. According to Dr. Madeline Levine, author of The Price of Privilege and a featured speaker of both Chappaqua and Armonk PTAs last year, many of her adolescent patients “have a notable ability to put up a good front.” “There are many components that go into whether a teen is at risk for suicide,” says William M. Dince, PhD, a psychologist and Chappaqua resident specializing in neuropsychologically-based assessment and treatment. “Parents can begin by looking at the APA list of warning signs. It is then essential to go for a consultation to assess the degree of risk. We can observe behaviors, body language, what a child talks about, etc. We talk with parents, get a sense of their family structure, their social environment...It is essential to measure the degree of impulsivity that is present, as many suicides are the result of an impulsive act during a moment of despair, Dr. Dince adds. Impulsivity is the diminished ability to think through the consequences of one's actions, and youth is a time of impulsivity.

Then comes the tough decision: Treatment. Choosing from all the different forms of therapy can be daunting, and, if a medication is prescribed, the list of serious side effects must be considered. Also, one medication may work wonders for one individual but adversely affect another. Sometimes additional medications are added. Some medications can work well for a while then be rendered ineffective. It can take months for a person to feel the full, positive effects. Recovery can be a painstakingly long road. I turned to my psychiatrist, Dr. Anri Kissilenko, of Silver Hill Hospital, for his perspective. “There are times when it’s necessary to put a teen or young adult on medication, but it’s important to note this is a critical time period when a patient needs to be closely monitored,” says Dr. Kissilenko. “If a patient is being treated, let’s say, for depression, there’s a phase when the medication starts lifting symptoms and a patient begins to experience an increase in energy level. However, their total sense of wellbeing has not caught up. Stabilization has not yet been fully achieved. They may still be experiencing negative and suicidal thoughts. It’s during this critical time when a patient’s motivation [or impulsivity] to attempt suicide is high.” In addition, there are the countless societal aspects to be considered. In our culture, our children graduate high school, go to college, then head off to work or graduate school by the young age of 22. We consider them ready to take on the challenges that go along with being an adult. Yet, from ages 18-24, the part of the brain that helps develop a sense of self/identity, continues to develop. So what’s one cultural difference for this generation? What’s changed in our communities that make our children susceptible? “Welcome to Stresschester,” a mom recently said to me. I laughed, but that statement packs quite a punch. Our kids have enormous pressures placed on them. Winter 2014/2015 Inside Chappaqua 11

On top of rigorous academic programs, their schedules are filled with extracurricular activities. For the most part, our children thrive. My son did, but not without feeling the stress. As parents, we want to provide them with every advantage to succeed in this highly competitive world. Join some clubs, take music lessons, be an athlete, be a dual athlete, volunteer time–sound familiar? With such a full schedule, “there’s an absence of what’s called unstructured play,” Dr. Dince remarks. We don’t have to dip far into the past to compare our childhood to our children’s. Most of us went to school, came home, got a snack, did some homework, and ran outside to play with friends. We ran into conflict, learned how to compromise and resolved problems with our peers without too much parental intervention. “Unstructured play helps to develop our sense of self and equips us with a social skill set that prepares us for the real world filled with conflict, rejection, and failure,” states Dr. Dince. This topic is multifaceted, and I am limited when it comes to speaking authoritatively. However, what I can offer is my personal perspective as one who attempted suicide. I had all the right boxes checked. Loving, supportive family? Check. Healthcare? Check. Top doctors and hospital? Check and

check. So how could I conceivably have the audacity to attempt suicide? My only answer is to try to explain to a healthy brain how a sick brain works. To the healthy brain, suicide is an incomprehensible, selfish act. However, to a sick brain, it feels like the only logical solution. I convinced myself that my family would be better off without me and my illness. After 10 years of going in and out of vicious bipolar cycles, I couldn’t bear another second. I wanted out of my body. So, without consideration of the destruction I’d leave behind, I swallowed a bunch of pills to end my misery. In hindsight, I experienced that moment in impulsivity. A sick brain doesn’t consider the devastating consequences. I’ve been episode-free for ten years now, yet I still carry the guilt of that dark day. But I'm one of the lucky ones. I survived. I’ve learned to manage and treat my bipolar disorder as if it were any other potentially lifethreatening illness. At this point, I wish I could provide a fail-safe list for attaining and maintaining a state of wellbeing, but there are too many variables in life to have one specific formula. However, I don’t want to end this discussion without acknowledging some of the positive life lessons that came out of something so horrible. Taking ownership of my bipolar disorder and apologizing for my suicide attempt was important

to healing as a family unit. The compassion, understanding, and forgiveness I received from my family has been one powerful elixir. Although my family has not come away unscathed, we have managed to come to a place of peace and resolve. From the human perspective, losing a child is every parent’s worst nightmare. A loss to suicide should not be put into a separate category from the child we lose to any other life-threatening illness. May their struggles not be forgotten or stigmatized. May their families find comfort in the outpouring of love from our communities. Above all, may we honor and remember them for all the love, joy, and laughter they brought into our lives. Janine Crowley Haynes is a Chappaqua resident and author of My Kind of Crazy: Living in a Bipolar World *Publisher’s Note: Early in October, the life of the multi-dimensional and exceptionally talented 21-year-old Miles Applebaum was celebrated during a beautiful service attended by hundreds at Congregation B’nai Yisrael in Armonk. Miles’ deep love for his family and friends–his absolute passion for music and poetry, and most of all, his gentle soul–were all lovingly remembered. All of us here at Inside Chappaqua also offer our utmost condolences to the Applebaum family during this difficult period.– Grace

When It’s Personal:

a Dad Speaks out on the Loss of his Son We are the typical Westchester family who moved up from the city 27 years ago, raised three beautiful sons, and loved them with our whole hearts. If someone told me I would one day lose a child to suicide, I would have laughed and said there was zero chance of that ever happening. My wife, Carey, and I were going to be the best, most devoted, loving parents a child could ever ask for. And, apparently, we were. On November 9, 2010, our firstborn son, Jeff, at 23 ½ years of age, began his suicide note to us by writing: “You were the best parents a son could ever ask for.” When people from town learned of 12 Inside Chappaqua Winter 2014/2015

By Rich Klein

Jeff’s death, a good friend told me that many were frightened because they felt if this could happen to our family, it could happen to anyone’s. They say love conquers all, but love was powerless in preventing the catastrophic chemical reaction that occurred inside Jeff’s body and mind after ingesting his first antidepressant recklessly prescribed by a local psychiatrist after one 45-minute introductory session. Eight days later, Jeff confided to Carey he was having “bad thoughts.” Two months in and two more antidepressants added, he was dead. Jeff’s life came crashing down with terrifying speed. On July 4th weekend in 2010, Jeff partied with his best friends in Newport and was on

top of the world. After graduating from Middlebury College in 2009, he worked as a paralegal at a major New York law firm. He spent weekends in Manhattan with his amazing friends and had an adoring family at home. He was also writing his own sports blog, Talkin’ Sports. Life was more than good. In fact, the first seven months of 2010 were arguably among the best in his life. Four months later, instead of being on top of the world, Jeff was on top of the Bear Mountain Bridge. He jumped to his death. The chronology of events leading to his demise is clear. He was assigned to a high-profile case in late July. When the attorneys heartlessly demanded he return to work one night, despite knowing he was attending his Aunt’s

wake, Jeff’s outlook turned sour. Over the following weeks, his hours increased. The pressure mounted. Unable to withstand it for another second, Jeff walked out on the job without warning in mid-August. He was deeply shaken but okay and prepared to take a step back and regroup. Jeff thought it might be a good idea, however, to see a psychiatrist to determine if antidepressants might help take the edge off. Instead, the meds were debilitating. By mid-October, Jeff wanted to stop taking them. Given his adverse reaction, we were advised he should be carefully weaned off under medical supervision. When that process ended on October 26th, I made an egregious error that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

and Brett, who are 23 and 20 respectively. I don’t know how we could have recovered were Jeff our only child. Drew and Brett have been strong, resilient, and tolerant of my manifestations of post-traumatic stress disorder. My greatest fear, in the aftermath of this tragedy was that people would forget my precious son who died such a senseless death. One of Jeff’s friends, Elon Rubin, created the Kleinsaucer

There are a few takeaways here. Tune in to the emotional health of your kids, especially through the pressures of high school and college when they spend more time with friends and less with you. Talk openly about their issues. Treat the decision to take antidepressants seriously, and consider their potentially life-threatening side effects. And, think twice before heading to work when your child is struggling. It could be a crucial, lifesaving decision.

On October 27th, I went to work... like it was another ordinary day. I drove to the station, took the 7:22 train, and went about my day.

I will never again have complete serenity in my life, but I have regained my ability to enjoy things. Jeff needed to be taken far away from his environment, and I was the guy who needed to take him. Instead of going to work that day, had I told Jeff to pack his bags, we’re heading to a beach in Florida to rejuvenate and devise a plan of attack, there’s not a doubt in my mind my son would be alive and thriving today. Jeff would have returned with a clear head, rejuvenated spirit, sense of purpose, and a plan. I live this illusory week in my mind repeatedly and wrote about it extensively in my blog. In late October, Jeff was completely salvageable, and I blew a golden opportunity to save him. I hope to enlighten others struggling with these issues by sharing how I’ve coped over these last four years. The answer begins with my wife, Carey. The loving, impenetrable bond we’ve formed over 29 years of marriage has sustained us. We’ve drawn great strength and love from our boys Drew

league matches or go see the Knicks with Drew and Brett. I enjoy my evenings out with Carey more than ever. Before Jeff’s passing, Carey and I loved to dance. After his death, we avoided events with dance floors, but I reminded myself that Jeff loved us and would want nothing more for us than to be happy again. Carey and I finally danced again at our nephew’s wedding in 2013. That dance was a symbolic milestone in our recovery, and we no longer fear the music.

Rich Klein is a Chappaqua resident and a Managing Director at Bank of America Merrill Lynch. To read his moving blogs about his son, Jeff, go to www.kleinsaucer.wordpress.com and join his Facebook page, Friends of Jeff Klein. Our son, our gift, Jeff Klein.

blog to serve as an eternal repository for friends to share their memories of him. After Jeff’s friends authored the initial posts on the blog, I decided to give it a crack and write my own entry. I haven’t stopped writing since.

www.kleinsaucer.wordpress.com

At first, I wrote for purely selfish reasons. Writing became an effective form of therapy. I could unleash my raging emotions and ensure that, for at least the time it took someone to read a blog post, people were thinking of Jeff. To further preserve Jeff’s memory, I created a Facebook page, Friends of Jeff Klein, where I share my new blog entries. The group has over 600 members and has become an online support group for me while also raising awareness for suicide prevention. The incredibly kind, encouraging messages from group members have lifted me up during my lowest moments. I will never again have complete serenity in my life, but I have regained my ability to enjoy things. I get pumped when I win tough tennis

Resources & References If you know someone is in immediate danger of hurting themselves or others, call 911. • The 24-Hour National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org • The Mental Health Association of Westchester (MHAW), whose mission is to promote mental health in Westchester County through advocacy, community education, and direct services. www.mhawestchester.org • National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) www.nami.org • The Brain & Behavior Research Foundation, committed to awarding grants that will lead to advances and breakthroughs in scientific research. www.bbrfoundation.org • American Psychological Association (APA) www.apa.org Winter 2014/2015 Inside Chappaqua 13

A Literary Taste of Chappaqua By Sarah Ellen Rindsberg

Frank Farina 2010 Photo

Ben Lieberman’s “The Carnage Account” When Chappaqua resident Ben Lieberman worked on Wall Street, his morning routine was a bit unusual for the profession. Sure, he would head to the city very early in the morning. However, his early start wasn’t driven by his firm’s buy and sell list. Although that was certainly part of his objective for the day, his first stop was actually the coffee shop across the street from the office where he would write for an hour and a half before going into the office at 7:30. His investment in diligent determination led to the release of his first book, Odd Jobs, in 2010. Ben Lieberman

The inspiration for The Carnage Account, his latest crime thriller, came during a meeting at Lehman Brothers. The discussion centered on a new product: life settlements. These instruments result from the purchase of life insurance policies (held by third parties) in which the buyer continues to pay the premiums and collects at death. The seller is banking on receiving an amount greater than the cash surrender value of the policy. Lieberman began asking questions: “Is it regulated? Is it confidential?” The intrigue led to a subsequent thought: 14 Inside Chappaqua Winter 2014/2015

“Abuse on Wall Street is a recurring problem…what will happen when the inevitable exploitation occurs from the moral hazard of a product wagering on human expiration?” The Carnage Account, published this past October, is the result of his musing. The story centers on hedge fund manager Rory Cage, a particularly devious protagonist, who sets out to adapt life settlements to his own nefarious end. “He has the desire to expedite the process,” Lieberman hints. In the first chapter, appropriately titled Triathlon Terror, the plot thickens right away: “There was the usual gridlock at the turn, and Rory used the opportunity to take a deep breath, go underwater, and hum the theme song to Jaws.” The triathlon, described in vivid detail, is based on Lieberman’s first-hand experience. To sate curiosity, pick up a copy of The Carnage Account. Jeff Altabef’s “Shatter Point” Storytelling has always been an integral part of Jeff Altabef’s life. Bedtime stories for his children spawned not only his own avocation as a writer, but that of one of his daughters as well. A voracious reader of three genres young adult, thrillers and historical fiction–Altebef turned to storytelling full-time after living the life of an investment banker. When his first book, the political thriller Fourteenth Colony, was released, readers clamored for more. “That was the impetus for doing Shatter Point,” Altabef says. Shatter Point, his new psychological thriller, is a stand-alone sequel to Fourteenth Colony. Altabef’s story lines are characterdriven. After creating a storyboard he takes his cues from the characters he has created. “It often goes in directions that I never would have imagined,” he relates. His story frequently takes “unpredictable” turns based on where the characters take it, and the surprises keep the action moving rapidly.

To further create suspense, Altabef employs a time-tested technique: “It’s making sure you end the chapter at the place where the reader says I have to see what happens next.” His techniques are key to sustaining readers’ interest and his work embodies the definition of a compelling read. From Shatter Point: “Without extraordinary vines, truly superior wine cannot flourish. The same is true with humans. Only those with the proper genetic code can be truly exceptional.” These words are uttered during a supposed picnic in the park by Cooper, a man who has long tormented Maggie, the woman he has kidnapped. When Maggie hears these words, her fear is palpable. She senses her aggressor’s intention and attempts to break free of his hold but hears, “Struggling won’t help you. Jeff Altabef The restraints are electrified. If you struggle against them you will only feel pain.” Maggie’s only hope at this point is rescue. Her devoted sons Tom and Jack set out determined to find and free their mother. Donna AllanPhoto

Gift giving isn’t always easy. Instead of lamenting the fact that Uncle Iggy has everything, why not rejoice in the knowledge that there is a universal present which is sure to please? Books! This season, as always, there are many standouts. The following are noteworthy not only as great reads, but because each is recounted by one of your neighbors and includes a reference–oblique or otherwise–to the very place we call home.

For his next work, Altabef created a soon to be 16-year-old female protagonist. To insure the veracity of the character’s voice, he enlisted a co-writer the same age as his protagonist, his daughter Erynn. Together, they are crafting a Native American-themed trilogy of young adult novels. Wind Catcher (the first volume) will be published in March of 2015. On collaborating with his youngest, this Chappaqua dad says, “Working with Erynn is awesome!” Sarah Ellen Rindsberg, the quintessential bibliophile, hopes you have as much fun giving and reading these books as she did writing this piece.

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Ready…Set…Winter! By Eileen Gallagher

For some, winter is a time to embrace the cold and all the activities it brings. Skiing, skating, and sitting by a crackling fire are big draws for those that are more “snowbird” than “sun worshiper.” Though seasonal tufts of snow can be fun, many residents recall winters that were a significant challenge (Superstorm Sandy is still quite fresh in everyone’s memory).

storms were the reason the McGrath’s purchased a whole-house generator for their home. One of McGrath’s neighbors had a generator during Irene, and was kind enough to allow other families to hook into it. “Three basements were kept pumped by one generator,” said McGrath. When she decided to install one, between the paperwork, variances, and fees, the process took much longer than expected, and was quite onerous.

During the first real storm of the season, Judy McGrath’s photo of a tree that fell on Hardscrabble Road near Douglas Road; the on Sunday, NovemSandy caused problems area was without power for many days. ber 2nd of this year, fallen trees left several homes without power for much of the “I saw the power line snap,” recalled day. Communication was steady as Wong, describing the tree limb that Supervisor Rob Greenstein updated fell on the ConEd line to her home residents via Facebook on the current from the street. It was the year that 10 status of ConEd service calls and road inches of snow fell very quickly, and closures. Though the storm was unuthe resulting loss of power prevented sual due to the sudden but predicted her from pumping water from her high winds, it was a sobering reminder flooded basement. Six days without of seasons past. power left Wong cooking meals on an outdoor grill. Her husband was able Several residents were kind enough to purchase one of two remaining to share their winter woes, and ways to portable generators from a hardware prevent a repeat of past misfortunes. store, which enabled the use of either Joyce Wong will never forget the a toaster or a television. Visitors from blizzard of 2011. As a matter of fact, Washington, D.C. had to stay with the people often ask her if she is expecting Wongs while Amtrak and Metro North The Wong family front yard was blanketed with Sandy’s October snow. visitors during the winter before makremained out of service. ing their own plans, because there is usually a travesty with the weather for for many, but some experienced much “People had lived here for years and Wong and her guests. longer outages than others due to never lost power,” blocked roads. Shiyang Paskowitz had said Wong. no electricity for two weeks in 2012, and her family was stranded in their Hurricane Irene home for the first few days with no was very chalability to even phone or text. Neighlenging for Judy bors worked together to cut downed McGrath. No trees into movable pieces and clear the power for three road for accessibility. After that, the days kept her Paskowitz family was able to drive to sump pump from Washington D.C. to stay with family. operating, leaving a flood in her baseErin Ringham had just moved from ment. Coupled one house in New Castle to another with Sandy, which when Sandy struck. Unfortunately, her left her home new home did not yet have a generawith no power tor. The home she had sold was the for four days, the 16 Inside Chappaqua Winter 2014/2015

Remember Last Winter? Remember To Add These Goodies To Your Holiday Shopping List. l Lightweight

Joyce and Stanley Wong captured this striking image of Sandy’s large tree destruction.

only one in the neighborhood with power, however, and she heard from friends that the new owners were providing neighbors with hot cocoa and coffee during the outage. It wasn’t long before Ringham’s new home was equipped with a generator. What do all of these women recommend others do to prepare for winter? In addition to a generator, McGrath suggests roof heating cables, which are low-current electrical cables that can be turned on during a snowstorm to prevent ice from forming. This would allow homeowners to avoid frozen gutters and the dreaded ice damming many experienced with the snow of 2014. Wong urges people to fill gas cans at the first mention of a major storm, using an additive such as “Sta-Bil” to keep the gas in good condition for longer storage. Paskowitz recommends having insulation installed in the attic, as well as a tall ladder to allow for immediate removal of snow and ice from the roof. What is New Castle doing to prepare for winter? According to Greenstein, the town is in good shape as far as salt supplies, with enough on hand to handle up to four storm events with more on the way. The town has added to the DPW plowing staff for a primary crew of 17 with five more as back-up, all having received the Cornell University operations and safety training. Two new salt spreaders are being added to the fleet, as well as rented sidewalk-clearing Bobcat. Most importantly, the town has established an Emergency Preparedness Committee. Per Greenstein, “There are many emergencies that can impact New Castle. The most common are severe weather, power outages and flooding. Although these emergencies cannot be eliminated, we can reduce the risk of injuries, property damage and economic

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Winter 2014/2015 Inside Chappaqua 17

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Standing next to the exposed roots of an uprooted tree, the Paskowitz children (Anna, Lyle and Kate) show, by comparison, the size of the loss of many mature trees, this one on Marcourt Drive.

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to town and police updates. Keeping trees trimmed and monitored make falling limbs less likely to take down power lines or gutters.

Eileen Gallagher, her husband, two sons, and two dogs have been happily living in Chappaqua for over 11 years. Previously an accountant and elementary school teacher, she is now a freelance writer and enthusiastic volunteer both in town and beyond.

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Finally, Paskowitz summed up the best way to stay safe during winter storms; “When the weather is bad, STAY HOME!”

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