2014 December Inside Armonk by The Inside Press: Inside Chappaqua & Inside Armonk

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Features

10. Neighbor’s Link Winter 2014/2015

The local organization is more than just a hand in hand job “link;” it’s also a testament to the power of volunteer work and the importance of biculturalism in our community. By Silvia Taviloglu

Cover The Beauty of Wampus Park in Winter Photo by: Sam Morell 12. Six Degrees of…Reading e-mail: sam.morell@smalltowntheatre.com web: www.SmallTownTheatre.com

Enjoying a good book is made that much better when there’s a frisson of local excitement thrown in for good measure. Local authors and their latest books are what this story’s all about. By Sarah Ellen Rindsberg

Departments

From the Inside Out...

14. Four Legged Love

6. May all your Holidays be Bright!

Pets are the perfect presence in our lives. But are they present-perfect? Be sure before you decide to adopt or buy. By Eileen Gallagher

By Beth Besen

Just Between Us

8. Unconventional Publishing

18. Winter-Ready in Armonk

By Grace Bennett

An Inside look at how the town has planned and prepared for the worst while, of course, hoping for the best. By Miriam Longobardi

Happenings

28. Mental Health Association of Westchester fundraiser; FECA’s “Back to the Future” Event

22. Shining a Light in The Dark

Coming together as a community, we mourn the loss of a beloved young man taken far too soon even as we try to better understand, via interviews with experts, the terrible suffering caused by the demon that is depression. By Janine Haynes

Words of Wisdom from our Sponsors 29, 30. Unconventional Gift Ideas

Et Cetera

32. “The Best Things in Life aren’t Things”

23. A Father’s Viewpoint

Rich Klein has a blog in which he sensitively addresses his family’s tragic loss; here, he offers our readers his insights too.

By Rachel Levy Lombara, Ph.D. Find us Find us on

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“Palooza Week” at Pleasantville Synagogue Community March 16-23 Chappaqua School Foundation Gala: April 25th

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From the

Out…

May all your Holidays be Bright! Ahhhh, December. From fa la las to latkes and snow angels to Nutcracker soldiers, the sounds and sights of the holiday season are Beth Besen upon us. Our kids are counting down the days to their holiday vacations. And, let’s be honest, we’re excited too! Whether we’re anticipating a lengthy break or just looking forward to a long weekend amongst loved ones, the very fact that everything actually slows down and then stops for one full calendar day is truly wonderful! Maybe you’re hosting friends and family this year? Make sure to take them into town and show off this pretty place called home. After all, Armonk always looks especially lovely for the holidays, trimmed in twinkling lights, inviting shoppers and diners while beckoning neighbors and visitors to linger just a bit longer.

Of course, there’s more than fun and games to that story. Indeed, while Armonk’s picture-perfect setting sets a tone of warmth and good cheer, it’s not all showy surfaces. Another reason to be town-proud is the level of winterpreparedness the town administration has been diligently working on. Though North Castle has had its share of severe winters (and been humbled by a handful of extreme storms), the infrastructure is stronger and sounder than ever. And people are more looped in than ever before too; Nixle alerts provide vital information through texts, emails and phone calls enabling everyone to stay better informed and feel protected, connected and safe. Who are the neighbors we rub elbows with in town? Some, of course, we know well. Others we might consider getting to know better. One such group worthy of mentioning is the wonderful organization Neighbors Link. Whether volunteer, benefactor, immigrant family or individual looking to work, the Neighbors Link community is always humming with positive energy and purpose. We draw your attention to the full story in Paza La Voz–Neighbor’s Link is Here and hope it inspires you to become involved.

Then there are the friendly faces we see so regularly that we develop a patterned acquaintanceship-relationship; we grab the same coffees, catch the same trains, join carpool lanes and walk pets on similar schedules. We know, but perhaps wonder about that which we don’t know. Sound like the start of a good mystery novel or thriller? I’m not www.theinsidepress.com the one to write Winter 2014/2015 • Volume 11, Number 10 it, but I know of Executive Editor Graphic Designer Web Design a few local people Beth Besen Dina Spalvieri Annette van Ommeren who very well Accounts/Billing General Counsel could! Yes, spoiler Carine Feist Brian Hand alert, there are Inside Chappaqua is published six to eight times a year, and is owned and operated by The Inside Press, Inc. Mailing address: PO Box 643, Millwood, NY 10546. Phone Number: authors among us. 914-238-2600. Copyright © 2013. All rights reserved. Printed in the USA. Reproduction of any portion is prohibited without permission from the publisher. And, as books are Inside Chappaqua may not necessarily agree with any one editorial viewpoint or necessarily presents we open endorse a particular product or service advertised. Editorial submissions should be mailed to the again and again, above address (please enclose an SASE) or sent to editor@insidechappaqua.com. For more information, rates and advertising calendar, go to www.insidechappaqua.com. I suggest you flip to A Literary Taste Publisher & Editor, Grace Bennett For Story Ideas or Press Release submissions, please email: of Armonk for a editor@insidechappaqua.com or beth@insidechappaqua.com handful of pageFor Advertising Inquires, please email: advertising@insidechappaqua.com turning gift ideas. 6 Inside Armonk Winter 2014/2015 The magic picks up momentum every year following Thanksgiving. Sure, Macy’s hosts the biggest Turkey Day parade, but Armonk has a spectacular one-of-a-kind Frosty parade! Want to know more about this “jolly, happy” event? Please make sure to read our cover story Ready…Set…Winter!

Speaking of gifts, we’ve got a few more thoughtful suggestions inside, and they’re not necessarily the usual suspects. We know that you know that “all that glitters is not gold,” that “good things come in small packages,” that, as the infamous Grinch pondered, “Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store.” Still, we’ve asked some readers to share their favorite “unconventional” gifts, and added a few ideas of our own. We encourage you to use The Gift of Time as a point of departure to think outside the everyday gift box! Even as we celebrate the many joyous moments the holiday season brings, it’s equally important to recognize that stress and tension often come along for the ride. Perfect family get-togethers are the hallmark, of, well, Hallmark. Movies, that is. Real life comes with ups and downs. For most of us, mood swings are managed and turbulence is tolerated. But, for others, life is exponentially harder. Mental illness, like its physical counterpart, can hurt. Intensely. Directly. And indirectly too. The holidays can be particularly hard. Visions of sugarplums simply don’t dance for everyone at this time of year. December days darken early, but the truth is, mental illness can darken any month and any family. To help shed some light and offer first-person insights, we bring you Time To Talk and When It’s Personal. Do make and take time to read these important articles. A year ago, I wrote my first guest editorial for the Inside Press. The theme was one of Healthy Holidays, and it was a labor of appreciation and pay-it-forward love. As is often the case, paying something forward comes back to you in kind. Since that holiday issue, I’ve had the good fortune to become acquainted with many new faces and places, explore issues known and new, and work with some truly inspiring, bright, funny and talented people. What a wonderful gift! Thank you, Grace; thank you, sponsors; thank you, readers! Wishing everyone the very best this holiday and in the year ahead,

– Beth

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Winter 2014/2015 Inside Armonk 7

Unconventional Publishing HECKLER & O’KEEFE

It’s always nice to hit a milestone, and this edition of Inside Armonk is certainly a mini one. You are holding the grand finale edition of our “first three” debut editions of a “free,” merchant supported pub. This new launch, I hope, successfully establishes our presence for you in North Castle “and Beyond.”

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So that you know “our schedule,” Inside Armonk and its sister/flagship publication Inside Chappaqua are produced six times a year. Our exact mail dates (advertising rates plus gift subscription info–see page 4 here as well) are available via an “Advertising” link at www.theinsidepress.com; if you’re a social media fiend, like us on Facebook and/or follow us on Twitter. Or simply kick back and enjoy the luxury of print. Wishing you and yours a joyous and healthy holiday season.

w w w . l a f o n t . c o m

FAX 914-273-4300 80 BUSINESS PARK DRIVE, SUITE 205 ARMONK, NY 10504 www.hokcpas.com

We pride ourselves on producing a publication residents look forward to and enjoy each time. Here’s a nod to our ever generous sponsors in our pages (a million thank yous!) plus content that is also quite “real”–it’s publishing with a heart at all times. We CARE, and these days, and in these busy times, and all the flitting about online, this is our unconventional gift to you! So far, the “buzz” has been pretty darned good and that speaks volumes for us new kids in town.

575 Main Street •Armonk, NY 10504 • 273-7337 8 Inside Armonk Winter 2014/2015

Jewelry Workshop: Art Series with With Betsy Prokop Prof. Valerie Franco Sunday:11/23 at 1:00 PM “Louise Élisabeth Vigée Le Thursday: 5/8, 5/22 & Armonk Players Present: Playat On Register 914-273-3887 X3 Brun” Saturday: 5/31 at 1 www.armonkplayers.org Wednesday: 11/26 at 7:00 PM Play and Learn (1-3 *Ticketed Event Practice Tai Chi Monday: 5/12 & 6/9 6/5, 6/6, 6/7, 6/12, 6/13 & 6/14 Larry AttileFriday: 5/2, 5/16, 5/ Poetry Caravan: Poetry Friday Night Cinema: with Assassination 11:00 AM Saturday: 11/1, 11/8, 11/15 PleasuresTango and Puzzles Adult Programs Friday: 6/13 at 7:00 PM 1,2,3 Sing. Music a at 10:30 AM Group discussion with memALL Armonk with Nancy Art & Beyond in Argentina with (6 mont PROGRAMS bers of the Poetry Caravan Poetry ARE FREE Friday: 5/9, 5/23, 6/ Professor Valerie Franco ALL PROGRAMS Register with Edie Martimucci Adult Programs AT THE Workshops with Pamela Manche Wednesday: 6/11 at 7:00 PM NEW HOURS 11:00 AM 273-3887 Colonial x3 NOVEMBER Pearce ARE FREE NORTH CASTLE Art & Beyond in Argentina Lego Club (7 & Up) Thursday: 5/1, 5/8, 5/15, 5/22 , 5/29 & Thursday: 11/6,Professor 11/20 at with PUBLIC LIBRARY Friday: 5/2, 5/16, 5/3 Adult 6/5 at 1:00Programs PM Valerie Franco 10:30 AM Jewelry Making (8 Friday Night Cinema: The Tiger and

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NOVEMBER

Wednesday: 6/18 at 7:00 PM

Starting Friday: 5/9, 5/23 & 6 Monday, November 3, Friday: 5/2 at 7:00 PM North White Plain Round Table Talk: Parenting the North Castle Public Library Art Semester Author Talk with Preschool Learn Chair Yoga with JoanReview Tananbaum, will be extending its hours! Music w with MA Saturday: 5/3, 5/10, 5/17, 5/31 & 6/7 at Wednesday: Mark Weston We will now be opened until 5/7, 5/2 Professor Monday 11/10 at 10:30 AM 10:30 AM 11:00 AM “The Electoral College. What Valerie Franco 8:00 PM four nights a week, Defensive Driving Classes with Wednesday: SaturdaysMusic and and Motion Were the Founders Thinking? and6/25 Play Melissa Feinberg Registration isLearn required months-4 atMahJongg: 7:00 PM Sundays until 5:00 PM. Years) And What Would Saturday: 5/ 3 &They 5/10 Do at 1:00 PMSunday: 11/2, Wednesday: 5/14, 5/ 11/9, 11/30 at Night Cinema: The Tango Lesson 10:30 AM Today?” NCPL Music Friday: 6/27 at 7:00 PM 1:00 PM Monday: Drop-in Kids Crafts Monday: 11/3 at 6:30 PM Session: Judy Computer & Technology Tutoring 10:00 AM-8:00 PM 5/10, 5/17, Saturday: Handler and Every Wednesday Learn Bridge with at 11:00 Tuesday: AM Mark Registration is required Author: Louise Gantress Levesque Mother Joel Goren 10:00 AM-8:00 PMGoose Stor the Snow

North White Plains “A Bitter Tea” Monday: 5/5, 5/12, Sunday:Intermediate 5/4 at level Wednesday: Learn English with Stacey Fields 6/16, 6/23 & 6/30 a Monday Nov. 17 at 6:30PM3:00 PMrecommended. 10:00 AM-8:00 Tuesday: 5/6, 5/13, 5/20, 5/27, 6/3, Baby PM Time (6 month Italian & 6/24 at 6:45 PM Saturday: 6/10, 11/1, 6/17 11/8 11/15 Thursday: Monday: 5/5, 5/12, Language and Computer & Technology Tutoring Italian Language and 6/16, 6/23 & 6/30 at 10:00 AM-8:00 PM 11/22 at 1:00PM Culture with Every Tuesday Culture with Mara DeMatteo Discovery Time for Friday: Mara De Matteo Registration is required Thursday: 5/8, 5/22, Tuesday: 11/4, 11/11, 11/18, Tuesday: 5/6, 5/13 & 5/20 at 6:30 PM Night Cinema and 10:00 AM-5:30 PM Friday 4:00 PM Youth Programs 11/25 at 6:30Mosaics PM European with Professor Saturday: Conversation With Toddler Craft (18 m Valerie Franco Armonk 10:00 AM-5:00 PM Prof. Valerie Franco Monday: 5/12 & 5/19 Wednesday: 5/7 at 7:00 PM Mommy & Toddler Yoga (1-4 years) Art Series with Mommy & Toddler Y Sunday: Friday Night Cinema: I Served“Caché” the Monday: 5/5, 5/19, 6/2 & 6/16 at 11 AM Friday: 5/9, 5/23, 6/6 Prof. Valerie Franco 12:00 PM-5:00 PM Friday: 11/7 at 7:005/10 PM & 6/14 at 11 AM King of England Saturday: 10:30 AM “Gustave Caillebotte” Friday: 5/9 at 7:00 PM Toddler Music with Lori Jo (6 months Homespun Storyte Ancient Israeli with Wednesday: 11/5 atArt 7:00 PMProfessor - 4 years) Friday Night Cinema and Program) Valerie Franco Tuesday: 5/6, 5/20, 6/3 & 6/17 Wednesday: 5/16 & 6 Conversation With For more information: Wednesday: at 11:00 AM Art Series with5/14 at 7:00 PM Prof. Valerie North Castle Franco Friday Night Cinema: A Matter of Public Stories in Motion with Paulene (1-4Library Prof. Valerie Franco “My House in Umbria” Size 19 Whippoorwill Road East years) “Jean-Baptiste Carpeaux” Friday: 5/16 at 7:00 PM Armonk, NY 10504 Friday: 11/14 at 7:00 PM& 5/27 at 11:00 AM Tuesday: 5/13 914-273-3887 Modern Israeli Art7:00 with Professor Wednesday: 11/12 at PM Bounce the Baby www.northcastlelibrary.org Valerie Franco Wednesday: 5/7, 5/14, 5/21, 5/28, 6/4 Night Cinema and Armo Wednesday: 5/21 & 5/28 at 7:00Friday PM & 6/11 at 11:00 AM Art Series with Wednesday 6 Friday Night Cinema: Spring, Conversation With Preschool Story Time & Craft Prof. ValerieFall, Franco North Wh Summer, Winter…and Spring Prof. Valerie Franco (3-6 years) Friday: 5/23 at 7:00 PM Saturday 6/2 “Edvard Munch” “Roman de Gare” Wednesday: 5/7, 5/14, 5/21, 5/28, 6/4 Friday Night Cinema: Persepolis Wednesday: 11/19 at 7:00 PM Friday: 11/21 & 6/11 at 4:00 at 7:00 PMPM Friday: 5/30 at 7:00 PM More Info NCPL Music Session: Fiddler and Vocalist Stephanie Bettman & Guitarist Luke Halpin

Mother Goose Story Time (2-4 years)

Winter 2014/2015 Inside Armonk 9 914-27

Thursday: 5/1, 5/15, 5/29 & 6/12 at 11:00 AM

NorthCastle

by Silvia Taviloglu Winter is upon us. Unpredictable. is safe and easy. Each day at the And, in more ways than one, unsethiring site, day workers register tling. Among our many worries– by signing an entry sheet (these heavy snow fall could bring down workers have gone through a tree limbs, adding potential danger careful intake process and screenand injury to the many hassles that ing verification). When someone accompany winter storms. Yards, looking to hire help arrives, he/she driveways and even our homes are simply provides job details so that potentially at risk. We know that, a match can be made. The hourly when the worst is finally over, we’ll rate is then discussed and estabneed to reach out to our landscape/ lished so there is an agreement in snow removal companies and/or place for both parties. handymen to help us with cleanup and repair. All too often, we then If one needs a more experienced Volunteers work with children while their parents also participate in a Parenting Education class. find ourselves waiting as, with so laborer (for example, someone many in similar need, work schedspecifically skilled in masonry or ules are overloaded. carpentry) or servers for private vidual donations from business and events or a housekeeper that has been homeowners all across Westchester. Thankfully, there is an alternative. trained and certified in Eco-cleaning, This Westchester business powerNeighbors Link of Northern Westchsimply call in advance and ask for the house (and wife and mother of two) ester, located in Mount Kisco, is a on-site Job Bank. The Center is open was honored with the 2013 Women in not-for-profit community organization Business Award by 914INC. magazine 365 days a year from 7 a.m.-10 p.m. that provides employment and educa(published by Westchester Magazine) tion opportunities to more than 2,500 for her excellence in the public sector. While the organization is a great immigrant families. They work hand in hand in hand “link” between homehand with the police department and owners/employers and workers, it is More than a decade ago, Mount with local schools. Their mission is to also a testament to those who reach Kisco was a more challenging envicreate partnerships and integrate our out as volunteers. In fact, volunteers ronment for immigrants. There was a side-by-side societies. play a major role in both teaching and great deal of prejudice and fear, many immigrants were not paid properly for in changing the tone of the conversation regarding biculturalism in our their work efforts and the environments/job sites often had very little (if community. Nearly 300 volunteers, from high-school-aged teens to adults, any) oversight. If accidents occurred offer their time and expertise as either (as they could and did), immigrants tutors (teaching English language, tell tales of being dropped off unceremoniously in unknown areas without reading and computer skills) or helpers medical care. Now, through Neighbors in the Family Center. The day laborers also volunteer, themselves, to help Link, their lives are safer and they keep their town clean and safe; last have a comfortable place during harsh winter, shoveling the fire hydrants weather conditions to gather and find ahead of our winter snowstorms. paid employment. An instructor from Westchester Community College teaches an adult computer class.

Carola Bracco, Executive Director of Neighbors Link, was raised by her Bolivian parents to know the importance of helping the community and working in the public sector. Bracco, who earned her MBA from Duke University, worked in the financial world for 12 years for companies including GE, Ford Motor Company and Time Inc. But she always wanted to do community work. In 2003, she started as a volunteer stuffing envelopes at Neighbors Link; a year later, she was named Executive Director. Bracco has since increased the organization's revenue from $300,000 to $1.4 million this year, thanks to grants and indi10 Inside Armonk Winter 2014/2015

The Work Center has over 800 day laborers taking English classes, improving their computer skills, learning rules and discussing how to work more effectively in different situations in the local culture. Additionally, the Family Center has more than 300 parents and children attending after-school and summer programs including discussions on the importance of raising bicultural and bilingual children. Neighbors Link offers a hiring site for general labor, and is a resource for finding that extra help we need for our yards, to paint a new room, get a thorough home cleaning, and perhaps even a well-cooked meal. The process of picking a generally-skilled day laborer

When it comes to storms, no news really is good news! So let's hope for a quiet winter season, and call upon Neighbors Link for help with the proactive projects on our to-do lists. Together we can make a positive impact in our community. For more information, to hire a laborer, to volunteer in ways described above or to become involved in fund-raising, contact Volunteer Manager Gayle Hudson at www.neighborslink.org *Translation: Rumor or “check it out” Silvia Taviloglu worked as a television writer in Mexico City before moving to Pleasantville where she lives with her husband and two young children.

Bibiana Matheis Photo

Lunching and Learning with Neighbor’s Link

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A beautiful fall day at a nearby country club was the setting for a gathering of powerhouse women (and a few men as well) united by their common interest in supporting Neighbor’s Link. The presentation subject– Women, The Immigrant Experience, and the Media– promised to be globally as well as locally topical, and I was thrilled when my good friend as well as Neighbor’s Link Friend, Tammi Lauder, invited me as her guest. Tammi, an Executive Director with JP Morgan, has been a Friend of Neighbors Link for years now, and we were among those included in the exclusive pre-luncheon discussion with featured speakers Alicia Menendez of

Fusion and Barbara Fedida of ABC News. Both women were smart and charismatic speakers who offered interesting viewpoints while sharing many personal and business experiences, and then answered thought-provoking audience questions. Afterwards, a delicious catered lunch was served, and everyone had the distinct pleasure of watching inspirational program clips while hearing in greater detail about Neighbor’s Link from the likes of Board Chair Barbara Jackson as well as from women who have become empowered by and through the programs offered. Applause was heartfelt all around at afternoon’s end. –Beth Besen

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Winter 2014/2015 Inside Armonk 11

A LiteraryByTaste of Armonk Sarah Ellen Rindsberg

Gift giving isn’t always easy. This year, why not rejoice in the knowledge that there is a universal present which is sure to please? Books! The following are noteworthy not only as great reads, but because each is recounted by one of your neighbors and includes a reference–oblique or otherwise–to the very place we call home.

And yes, Carol is indeed related to Mark Weston. They are sister and brother and grew up in Armonk. InYolanda Perez Photo

Author Mark Weston

Ava and Pip, the most recent of her 13 books and her fifth diary-novel for readers aged 8 to 12, is the story of two sisters: Pip, the eldest, who is terribly reserved and the source of much consternation for her parents; and Ava, her little sister, who “figures out a way to help Pip find her voice–and in doing so, finds her own.”

Linda RichichiPhoto

Mark Weston’s oeuvre is a reflection of his passion for understanding foreign countries and their indigenous cultures. Giants of Japan, his first book, is the result of research done while living in Japan for three years. This authoritative tome was used as a jumping off point for his next book,

letters from girls every single day; letters about crushes and friendship and body worries...my inner 12-year-old is alive and well,” she says.

Author Carol Weston

Author and adventurer Richard Doetsch

Honda: The Boy Who Dreamed of Cars, in which one chapter from Giants is transformed into a children’s book. Prophets and Princes: Saudi Arabia from Muhammad to the Present, Weston’s latest, is the product of his position as a visiting scholar at the King Faisal Center for Research and Islamic Studies in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. The story begins with the life of Mohammad and continues with the journeys of his followers. Full of interesting anecdotes, told in an eminently readable fashion (the antithesis of a dry history book), the book is suited for “anyone interested in the Middle East,” and those drawn to good story telling. Weston highlights the relevance of this read, “Saudi Arabia is a very strange country but it is our ally.” In Carol Weston’s work, the voices of her middle school aged protagonists ring remarkably true. Authenticity is achieved by listening attentively to the concerns of readers as Advice columnist for Girls’ Life. In her column entitled–you guessed it–Dear Carol, she is privy to matters of the utmost importance to her readers. “I receive 12 Inside Armonk Winter 2014/2015

credible as it may seem, their parents were both writers. Her characters’ parents “have a passion for palindromes and wordplay.” For the thrill of a lifetime, go along for the ride with Armonk native Richard Doetsch in his latest The Thieves of Legend. The “adrenaline rush” he feels when researching his books is real–he skydives, kitesurfs, bungee jumps and more! “You can translate that feeling of fearlessness and incorporate that into your characters,” he observes. In this latest of adventures for his protagonist Michael St. Pierre, a voyage to China is in store. The juxtaposition of the casinos in Macao and the Forbidden City are fertile ground for the author’s imagination. St. Pierre also visits castles in Spain, mansions on the Amalfi Coast and a Pacific island, all in the pursuit of treasure. He has less than five days to uncover an ancient mystery in order to save the life of KC, his ex-girlfriend. Stay tuned for the premiere of one of his earlier works, The 13th Hour, on television. There are also three movies “in various states of being.”

Pot Shards: Fragments of a Life Lived in CIA, the White House, and the Two Koreas, is the memoir of former Ambassador to South Korea Donald P. Gregg. Gregg’s title comes from the pot shards he found throughout Japan and Korea; pieces of wholes that led him to think about how one pieces together a lifetime of memories. One such memory recounted in the book is his proudest accomplishment. In 1973, during his tenure as CIA station chief in Seoul, South Korean agents kidnapped Kim Dae Jung, the opposition political leader. As news spread of the action, riots erupted at several universities and an American-

Author and former Ambassador Donald Gregg

educated Korean professor was arrested, falsely accused of instigating the riots at the university where he worked. “He was either tortured to death or to the point where he jumped out a window,” Gregg says. When Gregg relayed the information to his superiors, he added that he wanted to personally (apart from his role in the CIA) protest the action. He was counseled against following through. “I brooded and finally broke the rules. I went and spoke to the chief bodyguard of President Park Chung Hee and said ‘What happened to him is unworthy of what Korea hopes to become.” A week later, the director of Korean intelligence was fired. “His successor put in place a prohibition on torture,” Gregg proudly states. Gregg wrote Pot Shards for any and every audience but, in particular, for his children and wife, Armonk native Meg Curry Gregg. Sarah Ellen Rindsberg, the quintessential bibliophile, hopes you have as much fun giving and reading these books as she did writing this piece.

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Paws and Reflect

Choosing, and Keeping, the Gift that Keeps on Giving By Eileen Gallagher All across the country, ily, but one of her daughters, seven parents hear the same year old Gracie Bea, is very allergic. refrain from their children– “We needed to be really careful “Can’t we get a [dog/cat/ about the breed,” Frasch explained. rabbit/hamster/bird]?” As After watching their friends’ puppy the holidays approach, the (a sibling of Buster) for 12 hours requests get more urgent, with no breathing issues for her and increasingly difficult to daughter, Frasch felt comfortable resist. Who wouldn’t want having Buster join their family. to see a child’s eyes light up at the sight of a cuddly Was everyone in the Frasch famball of fur in a festive box? ily in on the decision? “This will be And it’s not just children a member of our family,” Frasch that receive pets as gifts for With everyone in agreement, the Frasch family recently welhad said to her husband. “If you’re special occasions. Parents not on board with this, I don’t want comed their newest addition – Buster. are surprised with a gift that to do it.” Frasch’s three children, as the sole caregiver. Knowing this keeps on giving, as well as Honor, Christian, and Gracie Bea, ahead of time makes the adjustment spouses, significant others, siblings, had all wanted a dog for years, but less jarring. and roommates. their parents were waiting until the time was right. If you are unsure about surprising Is it wise to bring a pet home for your family with the right pet, Petructhe holidays? According to Stephanie Buster, named for the special nickcelli offered a creative suggestion. Petruccelli, an long time assistant at name Frasch’s father Joseph had for “Make up a gift basket with a picture Mt Kisco Veterinary Clinic, it’s all in 10 year old Christian, is very much of a dog or cat and some toys and sup- loved and appreciated. Frasch told of the planning. “As long as the whole plies to put under the tree, and then go the close relationship between her fafamily is on board, especially the paras a family after the holiday to pick out ther and son before her father passed ents,” she advised. “It’s a whole family your new companion.” responsibility.” away, and how Christian always said that he would love to have a boy dog so Asked if she has seen many cases of “Avoid impulse buys,” continued he could name him Buster in honor of returned pets after the holidays are Petruccelli. Taking the time to visit his grandfather. When Buster became over, Petruccelli said not really in this shelters or breeders is important in available, with his sibling Bella living area. “People are making educated finding the right fit for your home right down the street, the Frasch’s as opposed to snap decisions.” She situation. For example, some families knew the time was right. stressed that the two most important have a more active lifestyle than othfactors in getting a pet for the holiers, and might do well with an enerIf you do decide to make a happy getic dog. Others might be more suited days, or at any time for that matter, addition, keep it fun but do your are to be prepared, and to avoid imto have a calmer, more sedentary pet. homework first. It is best to have pulse decisions. food, an appropriately sized crate, Charmaine McCleave, owner of bedding, toys, a collar, and a leash on The Frasch family decided to take Charmaine’s Dog Salon in Somers, hand before Fluffy or Fido comes to the plunge and recently brought home stay. Arrange an appointment with a stressed taking the age of the chiltheir golden-doodle puppy, Buster. dren into account. Her “pet peeve” is veterinarian and, if this is a first pet, Georgia Frasch, who happens to be hearing people say that their dog is a trainer as well. “Baby-proof” your one of the moderators of the Facebook home which might have such holiday matted because their children didn’t keep up with the brushing and groom- group “Chappaqua Moms,” shared hazards as small toys, ribbons, and their story. ing. Parents are the ones who will wrapping paper. And enjoy the new ultimately be responsible for the care member of your family! “We believe our children should of any pet, reminded McCleave, herself grow up with animal love, compasthe mother of three boys. “Children Eileen Gallagher is an 11- year resident are children, and often forget to brush sion, responsibility, and empathy,” said of Chappaqua and the mother of four Frasch, herself a longtime dog rescuer. boys, two of the canine variety. An avid their own hair.” For 30 years, she had either fostered or dog lover, she recently joined the orpermanently adopted dogs she found McCleave brought up another point ganization “Puppy Rescue Mission,” an abandoned in the streets of her neigh- organization which assists in bringing –cats and dogs are a 10 to 15 year or longer commitment. Your child might borhood in Manhattan. She would dogs home from war to their military have loved to rescue a dog for her fam- companions. be going off to college and leaving you 14 Inside Armonk Winter 2014/2015

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Ready…Set…Winter! “Snow day!” To some, those words bring joyful shouts while, to others, groans of dread. Students, teachers and snowplow companies are in the first category. Weary parents, store owners, and those expected to report to work regardless of the weather are among those in the second. Regardless of how we feel about it, winter is upon us. I spoke with some local people who help ensure that folks can get out and about and also picked up a few Inside tips on ways to enjoy Armonk this winter season.

Sam Morell Photo

By Miriam Longobardi

putting snow on the roads is against the law. Even people that think they’re doing the right thing by pushing the snow across the street or off to the side are actually removing some of the sand and de-icing chemicals the trucks spread. They literally wipe away what the trucks just put down.” She also pointed out that the town is not liable for damages caused to vehicles when they are out working, so if it is possible, staying home and out of the way is the safest course of action even in an allwheel-drive vehicle.

Sam Morell Photo

While Armonk’s twinkling lights invite shoppers and diners to enjoy the holiday season. many of us were sunning downturn of recent years we’d been by the pool or trying forced to make some staff cuts and to keep cool indoors Once roads are cleared, there are some of the equipment was not able to during the summer lots of activities available for children be replaced. I’m glad we’ve been able months, the town and adults alike. Superintendent of to make some changes this year.” was already earnestly preparing for Parks and Recreation Matt Trainor winter storms. Town administrator shared that the kids’ Keeping the town open for busiJoan Goldberg said, “We’ve increased gourmet cooking class ness is a priority and involves more staffing levels and added several new and singing classes than merely clearing all the roads trucks this year. With the economic are among the more and side streets. Over seven miles of popular choices. state-owned but Organizations like town-maintained Mad Science or The sidewalks are in Nature of Things need of snow reoffer programs that moval. New snow blowers have been can spark the imaginations of young added to the arse- scientists. Other ongoing programs for first- though eighth- graders are karate nal of equipment and basketball. “What I like about so shop owners our basketball program is that there’s and offices can no pressure. There are no tryouts or remain open and anything like that. Parents often call people can move and ask and they like knowing that if about safely. their child wants to play basketball, he or she can just sign-up and play.” Goldberg Trainor added further, “We offer art shared that there classes in oil or watercolor painting for are some things both adults and children. There are a residents do multitude of outside contractors that inadvertently which are counter- we work with.” Occasionally the Recreation Department pairs up with local productive to restaurants to offer cooking classes, or snow removal will offer different types of dancing, and de-icing. “I don’t think most All is calm and bright in the Town of North Castle. continues on page 20 people know that 18 Inside Armonk Winter 2014/2015

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continues from page 18 such as ballroom or line-dancing, but the fitness classes fill up fastest. Adult fitness classes like yoga and pilates are the most popular and are ongoing options. North Castle Town Supervisor Michael Schiliro’s personal favorite winter tradition in Armonk is the annual Frosty Parade that takes place the Saturday after Thanksgiving each year. The parade culminates a day filled with children’s activities such as a scavenger One truck and driver from the intrepid snowplow force, out clearing roads during the hunt, hayrides, and early morning hours in Armonk last winter. winter crafts. The parade marks Frosty returning to his hometown of Armonk and children and families are invited to join in as he passes. The village square named in the famous winter song written by lyricist Steve Nelson is said to be Armonk’s Historic District. Nelson was in the midst of building a home in Armonk at the time he was writing the song made memorable by Gene Autry, and then lived there for the rest of his life. This year’s parade was dedicated to 37-year North Castle Town Councilwoman and lifelong Armonk resident Becky Kittredge who passed away in August. Kittredge, who was also the former North Castle Deputy Supervisor, often played the role of “Mrs. Frosty” in the parade. Schiliro said, “The Frosty Parade really represents community and family fun.” Frosty is always a big hit during the annual North Castle parade.

20 Inside Armonk Winter 2014/2015

What do some residents have to say about winter? Andrea Kosakowski, who has been living in Armonk five years told me, “My daughter does not like getting sick but my son loves winter! He loves the holidays, waking up and seeing snow falling and of course, snow days, at least until we use too many and have to give back. But he was born on a snowy day so he’s a snow kid.” Denise Aversa, whose children Gi-

anna, a senior and son, Antonio, a freshman, grew up in Armonk and attend Byram Hills High School, said, “Winter is time for comfort, good food and a fire. I’m looking forward to getting snowed in with my family.” Julie Dickens, owner of Beascakes Bakery in Armonk Town Center, told me, “Winter is a time when lots of people stop in to buy some of the cookie dough we sell. Baking cookies is a great thing to do at home on a snowy day.”

As temperatures plunge and snow starts to fall, you have plenty of options. Your child can take a cooking class and whip you up a gourmet meal and then you can work it off in a fitness class because roads will be cleared for you to get there. Whether you stay cozy indoors or you brave the elements for some outdoor fun or shopping locally, the town of Armonk is ready! Miriam Longobardi is a freelance writer, fourth grade teacher and single mother of two daughters living in Westchester. A breast cancer survivor, she volunteers for the American Cancer Society and has completed four marathons and travels the world. Follow her on Twitter @writerMimiLong.

Theresa and Anthony Kosakowski, ages eight and 10 respectively, enjoying outdoor fun during a a snow day in Armonk.

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TIME TO TALK:

Broaching the Difficult Topic of Depression and Suicide in Teens and Young Adults By Janine Crowley Haynes “We hope that by heightening awareness about mental health challenges, we can make a difference in the lives of persons whose painful struggle can feel so bleak at times and to provide opportunities to seek valuable help and resources. Miles' enduring love for his family and friends, gentle ways, and deep sensitivity he had for others will always remain within all of us. We are thankful to have clips of Miles playing his guitars, photos of him running at many of his track meets swift as a deer, countless family occasions and his poetry writings–a powerful means for us to connect to him, cherish the memories and to reflect on. As the mother of Miles, my dream is for anyone who struggles with depression to not be afraid of reaching out to ask for help, and for the professionals to have better means of assessing depression from its earliest onset. My message is that there is always hope to see the light beyond the darkness–when one can muster the courage no matter how painful it may feel–and know that with a new day there is always a new beginning. Miles would have wanted us to spread the love so please let your readers know to hug someone they care about everyday!” Shari, Ed, Max and Hannah Along with so many in our Westchester community, my heart broke when I heard the news of Miles Applebaum’s untimely death.* Young people taking their own lives is happening all too often in our communities. The American Psychological Association (APA) notes that suicide is the third leading cause of death in teens and young people, ages 15-24, and that it’s increasing at an alarming rate. In addition, for every completed suicide, there are approximately 100-200 attempts. The topic of mental illness and suicide, especially amongst our kids, is a complicated, emotionally charged topic not easily open for public discussion. For me, it unearths the pain and guilt of my own suicide attempt. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 31, but 22 Inside Armonk Winter 2014/2015

looking back, I presented symptoms as a teen that flew under the radar. I am one in four (approximately 61.5 million) adult Americans struggling with a mental illness in a given year. We all know the protocol when one is diagnosed with a mental illness. Early intervention is key. We do our research, seek professional help, and decide on the best form of treatment. But when our child is assigned a diagnosis, how do we know if they’re at risk for suicide? Not all children fit the clinical mold. According to Dr. Madeline Levine, author of The Price of Privilege and a featured speaker of both Chappaqua and Armonk PTAs last year, many of her adolescent patients “have a notable ability to put up a good front.” “There are many components that go into whether a teen is at risk for suicide,” says William M. Dince, P.h.D., a psychologist and Chappaqua resident specializing in neuropsychologically-based assessment and treatment. “Parents can begin by looking at the APA list of warning signs. It is then essential to go for a consultation to assess the degree of risk. We can observe behaviors, body language, what a child talks about, etc. We talk with parents, get a sense of their family structure, their social environment...It is essential to measure the degree of impulsivity that is present, as many suicides are the result of an impulsive act during a moment of despair, Dr. Dince adds. Impulsivity is the diminished ability to think through the consequences of one's actions, and youth is a time of impulsivity.

Then comes the tough decision: Treatment. Choosing from all the different forms of therapy can be daunting, and, if a medication is prescribed, the list of serious side effects must be considered. Also, one medication may work wonders for one individual but adversely affect another. Sometimes additional medications are added. Some medications can work well for a while then be rendered ineffective. It can take months for a person to feel the full, positive effects. Recovery can be a painstakingly long road. I turned to my psychiatrist, Dr. Anri Kissilenko, of Silver Hill Hospital, for his perspective. “There are times when it’s necessary to put a teen or young adult on medication, but it’s important to note this is a critical time period when a patient needs to be closely monitored,” says Dr. Kissilenko. “If a patient is being treated, let’s say, for depression, there’s a phase when the medication starts lifting symptoms and a patient begins to experience an increase in energy level. However, their total sense of wellbeing has not caught up. Stabilization has not yet been fully achieved. They may still be experiencing negative and suicidal thoughts. It’s during this critical time when a patient’s motivation [or impulsivity] to attempt suicide is high.” In addition, there are the countless societal aspects to be considered. In our culture, our children graduate high school, go to college, then head off to work or graduate school by the young age of 22. We consider them ready to take on the challenges that go along with being an adult. Yet, from ages 18-24, the part of the brain that helps develop a sense of self/identity, continues to develop. So what’s one cultural difference for this generation? What’s changed in our communities that make our children susceptible? “Welcome to Stresschester,” a mom recently said to me. I laughed, but that statement packs quite a punch. Our kids have enormous pressures placed on them.

On top of rigorous academic programs, their schedules are filled with extracurricular activities. For the most part, our children thrive. My son did, but not without feeling the stress. As parents, we want to provide them with every advantage to succeed in this highly competitive world. Join some clubs, take music lessons, be an athlete, be a dual athlete, volunteer time–sound familiar? With such a full schedule, “there’s an absence of what’s called unstructured play,” Dr. Dince remarks. We don’t have to dip far into the past to compare our childhood to our children’s. Most of us went to school, came home, got a snack, did some homework, and ran outside to play with friends. We ran into conflict, learned how to compromise and resolved problems with our peers without too much parental intervention. “Unstructured play helps to develop our sense of self and equips us with a social skill set that prepares us for the real world filled with conflict, rejection, and failure,” states Dr. Dince. This topic is multifaceted, and I am limited when it comes to speaking authoritatively. However, what I can offer is my personal perspective as one who attempted suicide. I had all the right boxes checked. Loving, supportive family? Check. Healthcare? Check. Top doctors and hospital? Check and

check. So how could I conceivably have the audacity to attempt suicide? My only answer is to try to explain to a healthy brain how a sick brain works. To the healthy brain, suicide is an incomprehensible, selfish act. However, to a sick brain, it feels like the only logical solution. I convinced myself that my family would be better off without me and my illness. After 10 years of going in and out of vicious bipolar cycles, I couldn’t bear another second. I wanted out of my body. So, without consideration of the destruction I’d leave behind, I swallowed a bunch of pills to end my misery. In hindsight, I experienced that moment in impulsivity. A sick brain doesn’t consider the devastating consequences. I’ve been episode-free for ten years now, yet I still carry the guilt of that dark day. But I'm one of the lucky ones. I survived. I’ve learned to manage and treat my bipolar disorder as if it were any other potentially lifethreatening illness. At this point, I wish I could provide a fail-safe list for attaining and maintaining a state of wellbeing, but there are too many variables in life to have one specific formula. However, I don’t want to end this discussion without acknowledging some of the positive life lessons that came out of something so horrible. Taking ownership of my bipolar disorder and apologizing for my suicide attempt was important

to healing as a family unit. The compassion, understanding, and forgiveness I received from my family has been one powerful elixir. Although my family has not come away unscathed, we have managed to come to a place of peace and resolve. From the human perspective, losing a child is every parent’s worst nightmare. A loss to suicide should not be put into a separate category from the child we lose to any other life-threatening illness. May their struggles not be forgotten or stigmatized. May their families find comfort in the outpouring of love from our communities. Above all, may we honor and remember them for all the love, joy, and laughter they brought into our lives. Janine Crowley Haynes is a Chappaqua resident and author of My Kind of Crazy: Living in a Bipolar World *Publisher’s Note: Early in October, the life of the multi-dimensional and exceptionally talented 21-year-old Miles Applebaum was celebrated during a beautiful service attended by hundreds at Congregation B’nai Yisrael in Armonk. Miles’ deep love for his family and friends–his absolute passion for music and poetry, and most of all, his gentle soul–were all lovingly remembered. All of us here at Inside Armonk also offer our utmost condolences to the Applebaum family during this difficult period.– Grace

When It’s Personal:

a Dad Speaks out on the Loss of his Son We are the typical Westchester family who moved up from the city 27 years ago, raised three beautiful sons, and loved them with our whole hearts. If someone told me I would one day lose a child to suicide, I would have laughed and said there was zero chance of that ever happening. My wife, Carey, and I were going to be the best, most devoted, loving parents a child could ever ask for. And, apparently, we were. On November 9, 2010, our firstborn son, Jeff, at 23 ½ years of age, began his suicide note to us by writing: “You were the best parents a son could ever ask for.” When people from town learned of

By Rich Klein

Jeff’s death, a good friend told me that many were frightened because they felt if this could happen to our family, it could happen to anyone’s. They say love conquers all, but love was powerless in preventing the catastrophic chemical reaction that occurred inside Jeff’s body and mind after ingesting his first antidepressant recklessly prescribed by a local psychiatrist after one 45-minute introductory session. Eight days later, Jeff confided to Carey he was having “bad thoughts.” Two months in and two more antidepressants added, he was dead. Jeff’s life came crashing down with terrifying speed. On July 4th weekend in 2010, Jeff partied with his best friends in Newport and was on

top of the world. After graduating from Middlebury College in 2009, he worked as a paralegal at a major New York law firm. He spent weekends in Manhattan with his amazing friends and had an adoring family at home. He was also writing his own sports blog, Talkin’ Sports. Life was more than good. In fact, the first seven months of 2010 were arguably among the best in his life. Four months later, instead of being on top of the world, Jeff was on top of the Bear Mountain Bridge. He jumped to his death. The chronology of events leading to his demise is clear. He was assigned to a high-profile case in late July. When the attorneys heartlessly demanded he return to work one night, despite knowing he was attending his Aunt’s Winter 2014/2015 Inside Armonk 23

wake, Jeff’s outlook turned sour. Over the following weeks, his hours increased. The pressure mounted. Unable to withstand it for another second, Jeff walked out on the job without warning in mid-August. He was deeply shaken but okay and prepared to take a step back and regroup. Jeff thought it might be a good idea, however, to see a psychiatrist to determine if antidepressants might help take the edge off. Instead, the meds were debilitating. By mid-October, Jeff wanted to stop taking them. Given his adverse reaction, we were advised he should be carefully weaned off under medical supervision. When that process ended on October 26th, I made an egregious error that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

and Brett, who are 23 and 20 respectively. I don’t know how we could have recovered were Jeff our only child. Drew and Brett have been strong, resilient, and tolerant of my manifestations of post-traumatic stress disorder. My greatest fear, in the aftermath of this tragedy was that people would forget my precious son who died such a senseless death. One of Jeff’s friends, Elon Rubin, created the Kleinsaucer

There are a few takeaways here. Tune in to the emotional health of your kids, especially through the pressures of high school and college when they spend more time with friends and less with you. Talk openly about their issues. Treat the decision to take antidepressants seriously, and consider their potentially life-threatening side effects. And, think twice before heading to work when your child is struggling. It could be a crucial, lifesaving decision.

On October 27th, I went to work... like it was another ordinary day. I drove to the station, took the 7:22 train, and went about my day.

I will never again have complete serenity in my life, but I have regained my ability to enjoy things. Jeff needed to be taken far away from his environment, and I was the guy who needed to take him. Instead of going to work that day, had I told Jeff to pack his bags, we’re heading to a beach in Florida to rejuvenate and devise a plan of attack, there’s not a doubt in my mind my son would be alive and thriving today. Jeff would have returned with a clear head, rejuvenated spirit, sense of purpose, and a plan. I live this illusory week in my mind repeatedly and wrote about it extensively in my blog. In late October, Jeff was completely salvageable, and I blew a golden opportunity to save him. I hope to enlighten others struggling with these issues by sharing how I’ve coped over these last four years. The answer begins with my wife, Carey. The loving, impenetrable bond we’ve formed over 29 years of marriage has sustained us. We’ve drawn great strength and love from our boys Drew 24 Inside Armonk Winter 2014/2015

league matches or go see the Knicks with Drew and Brett. I enjoy my evenings out with Carey more than ever. Before Jeff’s passing, Carey and I loved to dance. After his death, we avoided events with dance floors, but I reminded myself that Jeff loved us and would want nothing more for us than to be happy again. Carey and I finally danced again at our nephew’s wedding in 2013. That dance was a symbolic milestone in our recovery, and we no longer fear the music.

Rich Klein is a Chappaqua resident and a Managing Director at Bank of America Merrill Lynch. To read his moving blogs about his son, Jeff, go to www.kleinsaucer.wordpress.com and join his Facebook page, Friends of Jeff Klein. Our son, our gift, Jeff Klein.

blog to serve as an eternal repository for friends to share their memories of him. After Jeff’s friends authored the initial posts on the blog, I decided to give it a crack and write my own entry. I haven’t stopped writing since.

www.kleinsaucer.wordpress.com

At first, I wrote for purely selfish reasons. Writing became an effective form of therapy. I could unleash my raging emotions and ensure that, for at least the time it took someone to read a blog post, people were thinking of Jeff. To further preserve Jeff’s memory, I created a Facebook page, Friends of Jeff Klein, where I share my new blog entries. The group has over 600 members and has become an online support group for me while also raising awareness for suicide prevention. The incredibly kind, encouraging messages from group members have lifted me up during my lowest moments. I will never again have complete serenity in my life, but I have regained my ability to enjoy things. I get pumped when I win tough tennis

Resources & References If you know someone is in immediate danger of hurting themselves or others, call 911. • The 24-Hour National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org • The Mental Health Association of Westchester (MHAW), whose mission is to promote mental health in Westchester County through advocacy, community education, and direct services. www.mhawestchester.org • National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) www.nami.org • The Brain & Behavior Research Foundation, committed to awarding grants that will lead to advances and breakthroughs in scientific research. www.bbrfoundation.org • American Psychological Association (APA) www.apa.org

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The Gift of Time By Heather Skolnick As the holidays are rapidly approaching, the thing that keeps me up at night (after the child who had a nightmare, the kitchen I didn’t clean, the work I opted not to do, the dog who didn’t get walked and the husband I neglected, that is) is finding the perfect gift for everyone on my list. I create a spreadsheet on Google docs so I can access it wherever I might be, and start brainstorming. I add and edit as the holidays approach. Come mid-November, I ask for ideas for those for

Heather Brill and Nicole Meyer share friendship and fun at a previous Paint Nite event.

Jordan and Tahlia Bliss enjoying date night.

whom I have voids, try to think creatively and leverage suggestions from friends and peers. All to try to find the “perfect” gift! But what if holiday gifts were really about something more than the kind of present you can stick in a gift bag? The Gift of Time is a gift we should all consider giving and asking for in return. For starters, we all know how important Date Night is. But how often do we really do it? Speaking for myself, I have the best intentions–it just rarely happens. Fatigue, lack of planning and babysitter availability are all variables that inevitably lead to date night getting cancelled. Investing in our own relationships is the best 26 Inside Armonk Winter 2014/2015

way to ensure they flourish and grow and don’t get mired down by the challenges of everyday life. Armonk psychologist, Dr. Judith Adamo said, “In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, spending time with a significant other can have the same effect as going on vacation. During such times, enjoying the intimacy of laughter, for example, allows for the release of emotion that is both freeing and cleansing.” Armonk husband and wife Jordan and Tahlia Bliss agree, and have made it part of their routine. Tahlia said, “Life is so hectic sometimes. Jordan’s work schedule can be overwhelming, and three children under six is not easy either. Date night is our time to reconnect, to remember what got us to where we are and to remind us how much we love each other.” And what about the kids? Certainly kids will still ask for the latest iPad, toy or clothing item. And this is not to say that children shouldn’t get presents because the joy of watching a child open up the gift they’ve been asking for is priceless. But perhaps it’s a balance. Because in two years, the iPad will be out of date (or shattered…), the toy forgotten and the trendy clothing will be long outgrown. Quality oneon-one time we invest in our children will be remembered forever. What if instead of gifting a new arts and crafts set, I took my daughter to the Crayola factory? She would be in heaven. And having one-on-one time with me, without the distraction of her two younger brothers, would be something extra

special for her. Pleasantville based Licensed Clinical Social Worker Jill Touitou says, “Oneon-one time with your kids is the best gift you can give them. Spending quality time together, without distractions, encourages the development of a special and trusting relationship and is a gift that cannot be equaled by tangible presents.” Even the internet agrees. My Facebook feed is filled with posts about “gifting” memories for your children. There’s even a Pinterest site dedicated to it!

The time concept gift extends beyond family to our friends too. My good friend and Thornwood resident Nicole Meyer decided this year on something different for the holidays. Instead of traditional gifts wrapped up with a bow, she is treating her close friends to a Paint Nite event. We will get to spend time together and catch up, while creating a painting masterpiece of sorts. The painting activity is actually incidental; it’s all about the time together with friends. As Nicole explained, “Instead of the same old holiday gift, I would rather spend time with people I love and that love me… an occasion to have some fun, be creative and share a laugh!” Just as important, if not the most important, is alone time. Ask the average Chappaqua adult what they want most and the answer will likely be something like time for a manicure or time to watch football. In both cases, it’s not really about the manicure or the football game, but just time for oneself. For me, that’s my dog walking time. I get my alone time and my pup gets a little love too. For our time crunched, overscheduled generation, it’s vital that we remember to give ourselves a gift, too! Heather Skolnick, her husband and three kids have been New Castle residents for eight years. Heather works for a major retailer, helping them design and implement their Omnichannel Strategy. When she isn’t doing that, she is spending quality time with her family.

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Winter 2014/2015 Inside Armonk 27 The Magazine for New Castle and Beyond

HAPPENINGS

The Mental Health Association of Westchester – Making a Difference By Janine Crowley Haynes On Friday, October 24th, the Mental Health Association of Westchester held their Denim & Dreams Fall Benefit at the CV Rich Mansion in White Plains. MHA was founded in 1946, and its Westchester agency continues the vision and dream of bringing highquality, cost-effective mental health services. It offers various recoveryoriented health services and currently serves 25,000 women, men, children, and families. The annual benefit was a night of celebration with live music, cocktails, and dinner. Dr. Amy Kohn, CEO, welcomed about 150 supporters in attendance. Approximately $125,000 was raised through donations, raffles, and silent auction items. The monies raised will go towards programs they determine most in need. Some include the CASA program that advocates for children in foster care, their peer recovery program, and support services for their clinics.

New York Association of Psychiatric Rehabilitation Services, and the Spirit Award went to Mary Nicolich for her MHA volunteer service as a CASA.

MHA of Westchester Volunteer, Mary Nicolich, recipient of the MHA Spirit Award

Mayor Thomas Roach attended the event and spoke about the mental health challenges facing our communities. He is one of the New York mayors that signed onto the Mayors Challenge to End Veteran Homelessness. Recognition and awards were presented to the honorees for their outstanding achievements. This year, MHA’s On the Move Award went to Anne Kauffman Nolon, MPH, President and CEO of HRHCare. MHA’s Lifetime Achievement Award went to Edye Schwartz, DSW, LCSW-R, Director of Systems Transformation,

MHA is dedicated to dismantling the stigma through educating the public on mental health issues. They remain steadfast in their belief that every individual deserves quality mental health care, housing, employment, and a safe environment to recover. Their focus is on respect and equality for those in need of mental health services. MHA’s approach is to view the person as whole, looking beyond their challenges, and help them discover their own unique talents and realize their own dreams. To see the real difference MHA Westchester is making in the lives of people in our communities, watch their incredibly moving, awe-inspiring short film, Expectation: Recovery. For more info, visit www.mhawestchester.org.

FECA Broadens Scope as Autistic Children Become Young Adults On its 20th anniversary, FECA is expanding its mission. On Saturday, November 15th, 2014, the Foundation for Empowering Citizens with Autism celebrated its milestone with a gala fundraising evening of dining, dancing, casino games and a silent auction at the Westchester Marriott in Tarrytown. Attended by 225 FECA benefactors and their guests, the "Back to the Future" themed event honored the organization's accomplishments and looked ahead towards its new goals of expanding employment and volunteer opportunities for young adults with autism. FECA also holds a large fundraiser every spring in New York City, where it has a number of dedicated corporate sponsors. "FECA's work has been so profound over the past 20 years that we have begun to inspire the next generation of autism advocacy among our young people," noted emcee Philip Orlando of Chappaqua, one of FECA's founders and a foundation Director, as he introduced the Presidents of the Horace Greeley High School Autism Awareness Club and Fox Lane High School Autism Speaks Club. 28 Inside Armonk Winter 2014/2015

By Debra Hand

An Original Need for Education FECA was founded by eight Westchester families in 1994 as the Foundation for Educating Children with Autism, with a mission to create a school to provide the most proven effective one-on-one therapy based on Applied Behavior Analysis. At that time, the diagnosis of autism was 1 in 10,000; in 2014, alarmingly, one of every 68 children is diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. The resulting Devereux Millwood Learning Center, opened in 1996 to 12 children and now educating 48 students between five and 21, emphasizes vocational training and community integration to prepare them for adulthood. In 2009, FECA again partnered with Devereux to establish the Devereux Millwood Adult Program, which currently transports 18 young men in vans to job and volunteer locations across Westchester. Employment for Young Adults With Autism This year, in recognition of the maturation of the group FECA was formed to serve, the organization has both changed its name and launched

new initiatives to broaden opportunities for autistic adults with an eye towards fuller community integration. The Opportunity Network for Employers and Employees ("ONEE") reaches out to local businesses and non-profit organizations to identify and match autistic individuals with specific skill sets to such opportunities, and Extraordinary Ventures New York ("EVNY") will create small businesses to provide meaningful employment for autistic adults suited to their skills and interests. With its evolving mission, FECA will continue to change many lives by translating what young people with autism spectrum disorders are interested in into lasting productivity and lifelong fulfillment. To learn more about FECA or support its mission, visit www.fecainc.org

Debra Hand is a longtime writer and editor for Inside Chappaqua.

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craft beer, wood burning brick oven pizza, sushi, complete event planning and catering, and more. And when it comes to “Unconventional Gifts,” a flair for originality can be seen in their awardwinning craft beer selection– and their exclusive offer of a Free Growler of one of their exceptional craft beers! Choose from over a dozen different drafts. Or, perhaps, customize your own gift basket and include the popular “one-size-fits-all” DeCicco & Sons Gift Card! DeCicco’s is at 17 Maple Avenue in Armonk with locations in Ardsley, Brewster, Harrison and Pelham. www.deciccoandsons.com

hand-make each one locally in Westchester County. Create a unique keepsake to cherish and share. Share the Love www.loveisapillow.com Winter 2014/2015 Inside Armonk 29

Unconventional Gift Ideas from Our Sponsors

Monthly Delivery of Fresh Flowers!

An unconventional gift idea for this upcoming Holiday season would be to order someone a monthly delivery of fresh flowers for a year! This is a great gift because it lasts the entire year! Each month, a beautiful, fresh floral arrange-

ment will be delivered to the receiver of the gift! You can be reminded each month how spe-

Share Beauty, Peace and Love with Music Janet Angier, owner, Music in Chappaqua and the new Music in Armonk: “Music, by its definition, is the

antithesis of convention. Music is all about “the creative”…the creative, it has been said, is simply intelligence having fun! We make learning fun here, plus our accomplished and long time faculty members introduce skills or enhance existing ones to help every budding artist reach their greatest potential. A gift of music is, at its very essence, a way of sharing beauty, peace and love in someone’s life. 30 Inside Armonk Winter 2014/2015

With the “unconventional” in mind, please consider a gift certificate to a friend for a music lesson at Music in Chappaqua, or as a Holiday present to your child or any family member. After over 20 years of success stories, we are confident it’s a gift that will last a lifetime.” www.musicinchappaqua.com

cial you are to the person who gave you this gift. www.josephrichardflorals.com

Visit to a Psychic... with Love Sandra Landis, Psychic and Life Coach, Chappaqua Wellness Center: “Over the years, I have found, and my clients have confirmed: While seeing a psychic may sound “unconventional,” it is actually very common. A psychic allows you to sit back, relax, while you hear your most Photo by Joanna Cirasella pressing issues. A psychic sees who you are and can recognize your limitations in one visit! A psychic reading is actually a very loving gift to give. It’s like saying: I care for you and you I want to help you stop worrying and improve whatever situation in your life is noticeably causing confusion.” 914-705-1943

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After 20 years, Sandra has reﬁned her spirituality and religion into a higher level of understanding. With her gift of psychic intuition and metaphysical awareness, Sandra is here to offer you the door way to a new beginning or closure that is long overdue.

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e.mail:slandis914@gmail.com • westchesterpsychic.com All Readings Are In Private And Strictly Conﬁdential Winter 2014/2015 Inside Armonk 31

ET CETERA

“The Best Things in Life aren’t Things” -Art Buchwald By Rachel Levy Lombara, Ph.D.

Let me explain why. Have you noticed that Facebook has become host to a parade of quotes? Dressed in decorative fonts and set on handsome backgrounds, we seem to love them. Quotes in social media, like energy bars, seem to fulfill a need in the fast-paced culture in which we live. Information is no longer a scarce commodity. Good quotes help us in our journey, directing our attention toward those most important sights along the way, reminding us when to rest, when to push, and what is really important.

all delighting in each other’s company, talking animatedly, laughing, grabbing each other’s arms. Richard Burr Photography

“A memorable quotation is a precious thing.” -Me

I received great gifts at that party: fragrant candles, hand knit scarves, a painting, glassware, wine, wind chimes, lovely books, and a silver engraved Anam Cara necklace. Most of all, I received the shared warmth of friendship.

m a An a r Ca

As a psychologist who has spent years helping people resolve problems and improve their lives, I agree with this Winston Churchill quote: “It is a good thing… to read a book of quotations.” Quotes often distill the best of what a given teacher has to offer. Sharing quotes from leaders in positive change can educate and then mobilize the rest of us to take constructive action.

goes beyond physical or even temporal boundaries. With Anam Cara, you reveal the hidden intimacies of your life, your mind, your heart. This special type of friendship cuts across all conventions; it is an act of recognition and belonging that joins us above and beyond all else. We agreed there is a great need in everyone’s life for an Anam Cara, a relationship in which you are understood as who you are, without mask or pretense. It is when you are understood, that you truly feel at home and can heal, awakening the vast possibilities within you.

Over a year ago, I formed an online group to explore whether a virtual community could be created through social media that offered some of the same benefits of an actual community. This community, however, consisted of more like-minded individuals than one might find in a physical neighborhood. Could the tangible benefits of what psychologists call “social support” be achieved online?

In September, members of our Anam Cara group, many of whom had never met in person, travelled from as far away as Vancouver, B.C., Florida and Maine, to join me and local friends and family in celebrating my birthday. It was, in fact, the Anam Cara group that planned and executed almost all the party arrangements. Contrary to what I expected, I felt no apprehension hosting people I’d never met in person. In fact, any distinction between “real life” and “online” friends disappeared.

We discovered it could. Participants soon began revealing more of themselves, rewarded by the support, understanding and helpful feedback. We shared ideas, learned more about ourselves from the feedback we received and learned a lot about each other.

As my virtual friends appeared at my door the night before the party, I was struck that they each were EXACTLY as I had known them to be. They were, in life, precisely who they were in our group, an impression we all shared and marveled at in the subsequent days.

One member introduced us to the concept of “Anam Cara.” In Celtic tradition, Anam (soul) and Cara (friend) is a connection with someone that

The party was extraordinary. When I looked around that night, I saw old friends, new friends and my family

32 Inside Armonk Winter 2014/2015

A week after the party, when the last guest left for the airport, I sat at the kitchen table, enjoying the last of chocolate cake #4. I missed my friends, who had ended up staying several nights longer than intended. Bringing my empty dish to the sink, my eyes lit upon the large silver gift box I’d yet to open. A lovely Armonk friend had quietly left it the night of the party. I smiled at the thought of her. She’s wickedly funny and unfailingly kind. This woman tirelessly and assertively advocated for vulnerable children. I lifted off the top of the box and pulled out a frame. On it, artfully written, was this quotation: The Best Things In Life Aren’t Things

The ultimate quote, it somehow captured everything I believed to be true. The quote danced in my head for weeks afterwards. An amateur artisan, I found myself hammering it into leather cuffs, inscribing it on silver bracelets, and stenciling it onto t-shirts. The irony of writing, “the best things in life aren’t things” on “things” didn’t escape me. It made me smile. Dr. Rachel Levy Lombara is a NYS licensed clinical psychologist and former scientist at Columbia-Presbyterian Medical Center. She now works with people individually in her Chappaqua office. Like quotes, she believes that therapy is best when it’s brief and to the point.

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