Inside Columbia's Prime March 2014 by Inside Columbia's Prime

March 2014

Tax Prep: Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Miss This Deduction! Page 34

Sail Away: A Sunset Tour Of Chesapeake Bay Page 12

Blaine& Ann

Alberty

Prescription For A Good Life

Prime Magazine

March 2014

Contents 14

Volume 5, Issue 12

Prime Numbers

Fun Facts For Daylight-Saving Time

The Shopping List

A Shapely Trend

Tasting Room

Celebrate Spring With A Rosé

12 On The Road With Ray

A Sunset Sail In Rock Hall, Md.

Prescription For A Good Life

Blaine & Ann Alberty

How-To Guides

How To Choose A Vacuum How To Choose A Funeral Home How To Recognize A Heart Attack

Get Involved

Wanted: Pet Foster Parents

Prime Time

Can’t-Miss Events For March

30 How Can I Help?

Missouri Contemporary Ballet

Pet Corner

Love’s Peculiar Pull

Tax Prep

Don’t Miss This Deduction

36 Life Lessons

Finding A Family Again

38 Fun & Games 40 Recipe Box

Celebrate Decades Of Decadence

Prime Pages

Review Of Defending Jacob: A Novel

44 Your Bucket List

Dola Haessig Finds Her Inner Artist

46 Columbia Confidential

Publisher Fred Parry Takes On The Issues Columbians Are Talking About Prime Magazine March 2014

Welcome

Exceptional Respect Last month, we featured a couple who has worked together for more than 20 years. As I wrote Bill and Debbie Penkethman’s story, I found lots of articles online about how difficult it is for a married couple to mix love and business successfully. Most of the experts presented it as a proceed-only-if-there’s-a-prenup kind of endeavor. I wonder what those experts would have to say to Blaine and Ann Alberty, this month’s Prime couple. Not only do this husband and wife work together, but they also share a place of work with one son, one daughter and one daughter-in-law. That place of work is D&H Drugstore, a hometown pharmacy that has been serving mid-Missouri since 1956. Blaine has been an owner and pharmacist at D&H for more than 30 years, while Ann, a nurse, began working there about 10 years ago — after her son and daughter-in-law were already on staff. What struck me the most as I talked with Blaine and Ann was how natural their mix of family and business seemed to them. It was so natural, in fact, that it was hard for them to explain how they make it work. With a shrug, they say, “It just works.” But I think I may have still picked up on their secret. Throughout the conversation, Blaine and Ann exhibited exceptional respect — for each other; for Blaine’s partner, Gene Forrester; for their children’s right to make their own choices; for their customers. I have no doubt that respect is a crucial reason their relationships work so well, at D&H and away from the store. I enjoyed getting to meet the Albertys this month, and I found much more in this issue of Prime to enjoy as well. A couple of highlights are roving reporter Ray Speckman’s vivid description of a New England sunset sail and “Your Bucket List” subject Dola Haessig, who discovered a love for art just in time for retirement. One thing I have not enjoyed lately is the brutal winter weather. As I write this, it is -5 in Columbia. Here’s hoping that as you read this letter, Columbia’s long, frigid winter is giving way to the beautiful new life of spring!

➲ like us! Find us at facebook.com/primemagazineonline Prime Magazine is published by OutFront Communications, 47 E. Broadway, Columbia, MO 65203, 573-442-1430. Copyright OutFront Communications, 2013. The magazine is published 12 times a year on the first day of every month. All rights reserved. Reproduction or use of any editorial or graphic content without the express written permission of the publisher is prohibited.

March 2014 Prime Magazine

staff Publisher Fred Parry Associate Publisher Melody Garnett Parry Editor-in-Chief Sandy Selby Managing Editor Anita Neal Harrison Editorial Assistant Morgan McCarty Creative Director Carolyn Preul Director of Marketing Kevin Magee Graphic Designer Kate Moore Trever Griswold Photo Editor L.G. Patterson Sales Manager Deb Valvo Marketing Representatives Rosemarie Peck Joe Schmitter Jamill Teter Sales Assistant Jessica Card Operations Manager Kalie Clennin Office Manager Kent Hudelson Assistant Finance Manager Brenda Brooks Distribution Manager John Lapsley Director of Customer Retention Gerri Shelton Contributing Writers Kathy Casteel, Saralee Perel, Ray Speckman, John Williams

Serving the boomer & senior markets

Inside Columbia’s PRIME magazine

HOW-TO

Guide Inside Columbia’s Prime magazine now features a How-To Guide in every issue. This new section contains expertly written articles with helpful tips on a wide variety of interesting topics.

TURN TO PAGE 18 THIS MONTH, LEARN How To: Choose A Vacuum Dealer Choose A Funeral Home Recognize A Heart Attack

Prime Magazine March 2014

Prime Numbers: Statistics You Don’t Have To Be A Math Geek To Love

2007 That’s the year we started setting our clocks ahead on the second Sunday of March — instead of the first Sunday of April — and setting them back on the first Sunday of November — instead of the last Sunday of October. The new start and stop dates were set in the Energy Policy Act of 2005.

1:59 a.m. In the United States, clocks spring forward following the last moment of 1:59 a.m. to 3:00 a.m. to begin daylightsaving time.

Two Hours For the 3 o’clock hour following its spring forward, Columbia is two hours ahead of Denver. When daylight-saving time ends in the fall, on the other hand, there is an hour where Columbia is zero hours ahead of Denver.

0.5

percent 6

March 2014 Prime Magazine

{

That’s how much total electricity per day an Energy Department study showed the U.S. saved just during the extra four weeks of daylight-saving time added in 2007. That adds up to the amount of electricity used by more than 100,000 households for an entire year.

The Shopping List

Get In Shape Pair Two Trends For One Strong Look

By Morgan McCarty

Geometry may have been difficult in high school, but these days it’s a cake walk — or perhaps more appropriately, a catwalk. One of spring’s biggest trends, geometric prints, can be enhanced by another craze, contrast. Find a subtle and simple pattern, pull out one of the stronger colors, and match a jacket or accessory to it for a strong and eye-catching look. 1. Orange, black and white geometric dress by Samuel Dong, available at Calena’s ($124.99) 2. Black draped jacket by Lola Minx, available at Girl Boutique ($148) 3. Black patent pumps by Franco Sarto, available at American Shoe ($89) 4. Orange necklace by Ms. Ashley, available at Calena’s ($24.99) 5. Metal impression cuff, available at Mustard Seed Fair Trade ($24) 6. Orange earrings by Ms. Ashley, available at Calena’s ($6)

March 2014 Prime Magazine

Prime Magazine March 2014

The Tasting Room

In The Pink Brighten Your Spring Menus With Rosé By Kathy Casteel

Spring is just around the corner, folks. Savor the fresh taste of the season with a pretty pink rosé. Rosés — wines that hover between red and white — offer the best of both worlds. Equally at home at a sophisticated soirée or a picnic in the park, their food-friendly versatility pairs well with a variety of dishes. Robert Sinskey Vin Gris of Pinot Noir is an elegant rosé. This delicate, dry wine of whole cluster pressed Pinot Noir grapes comes from the Carneros region of California’s Napa Valley. An aroma of strawberries and pears with floral undertones carries through to the fresh flavor of wild strawberries and a touch of citrus. Nicely balanced and full-flavored, it satisfies with a lingering finish. Pair it with Asian, Mexican and Indian cuisine; it also complements chicken, shrimp, barbecue and burgers. You can find it in Columbia for less than $30 a bottle.

The Rhône style of Elyse Rosé takes a blend of Grenache, Mourvedre, Carignane, Cinsault and Couniose grapes from the Sierra foothills and gives it a fresh, fruitful character. A bouquet of floral notes leads to a delicate flavor of strawberries with undertones of rose petals. Good balance and buoyant acidity make this rosé a great pairing with picnic and tailgate fare, pork entrées, chicken or seafood. This year’s release will retail for about $18 in Columbia. Looking to keep it local with spring wine choices? Try some of these excellent Missouri rosés. • Adam Puchta Rosé: An Old World rosé, this dry, full-bodied wine tastes of raspberries and pineapple. • St. James Rougeon Rosé: An intense aroma and flavor of strawberries and white chocolate is underscored by crisp citrus notes in a dry rosé. • Stone Hill Rosé Montaigne: This semisweet rosé from blended Catawba and hybrid white grapes has a floral aroma and fruity character with just a touch of sweetness. • Stonehaus Farm Vineyard Strother Ridge Rosé Red: A sweet rosé from the St. Vincent grape, the cherry and melon flavor has a toasted edge to it. • Weingarten Vineyards Norton Rosé: A semisweet Norton rosé with signature dark fruit flavor and a crisp finish. v

Rosés are best served chilled to about 50 degrees. An hour in the refrigerator should do the trick. 10

March 2014 Prime Magazine

Prime Magazine March 2014

On The Road With Ray

A Sunset Sail To Remember Exploring Rock Hall, Md., “Pearl Of The Chesapeake” By ray speckman

I had never heard of Rock Hall, Md., before I discovered it with the help of Google. I was searching for new sites to see when the government shutdown last fall required a change of travel plans. With only 1,300 residents, Rock Hall describes itself as “an unspoiled waterfront town” and “pearl of the Chesapeake” — and I agree. It is a picturesque spot of land with no chain hotels or restaurants and dozens of harbors that contain literally thousands of mostly sailing vessels. One website I perused made mention of a company offering sailing cruises on the Chesapeake. Blue Crab Chesapeake Charters was the name. I called. On the evenings we planned to be in Rock Hall, they would be attending a sailboat exhibition in Annapolis, the home of the Naval Academy.

March 2014 Prime Magazine

Thus began an interesting adventure, a circuitous route to an experience and memory of a lifetime. From Ronald Reagan airport in Washington, D.C., it is about an hour drive to Annapolis on the western shore of the Chesapeake Bay. My travel companion, Joyce, and I drove through the quaint downtown and were quickly ensnarled in traffic. It was the weekend of the sailboat show. I have never seen as many masts and never could have imagined the collection of sailing boats in the harbor. It was just the beginning, however, of a visit of one jaw-dropping visual after another. After untangling ourselves from the traffic in Annapolis, we headed east and across the amazing Chesapeake

Bay Bridge. It was worth the $6 to drive across the 4.5-mile-long structure as it stretches and even curves its way across the Chesapeake Bay from Annapolis to Maryland’s eastern shore. Huge ocean freighters, luxurious sailboats and even small fishing boats presented a picturesque panorama. On the eastern shore and terra firma, we stopped at a dockside restaurant, rustic yet clean and comfortable. We enjoyed watching the boats on the bay and the near-domestic waterfowl, and, yes, we enjoyed oysters on the half shell for $8 a dozen. We drove on a bit over an hour, on two-lane roads through well-kept farms and arrived at Rock Hall. What a friendly town. We stayed at an immaculately clean ma-and-pa hotel a few yards from one of the many marinas. We could choose from about a dozen waterside restaurants. We drove around and picked the one with the most cars at dinnertime, Harbor Shack. It was a good choice. The weather was a bit cool, so we opted not to eat in the open, waterside section and settled in at the bar, where we immediately made friends with the bartender and subsequently some of the locals who were there dining. They were friendly and conversant, as was everyone with whom we would engage while in this picturesque spot. We learned that status in Rock Hall is not determined by the size of one’s car or square footage of one’s home or the size of one’s jewelry adornment. It is the size of one’s boat. The harbor at Annapolis almost looked empty compared to the harbor at Rock Hall. After three nights, we reluctantly left Rock Hall, stayed three wonder-

ful nights in Fells Point, Md., and then returned to Rock Hall to meet up with Captain Mark and First Mate Suzanne of Blue Crab Chesapeake Charters. When we met at the dock to board their beautiful sailboat, the sun was getting low across the bay. For only $30 each, it was a 90-minute trip. The evening was delightfully cool, and the winds were gentle. The sails unfurled. It was smooth gliding across the water, and we took our turns at the wheel and were beguiled by the stories of Captain Mark. Then the sun began sinking in the small waves. What a remarkable sight was that sunset, with reds, yellows and even a tinge of green reflected on the gently rolling waters. If there is a more beautiful sight, I would love to see it. Spectacular does not begin to describe the sunset sail by Blue Crab Chesapeake Charters on the picturesque Chesapeake Bay. I suggest you take that sail and see it for yourself. v Ray Speckman can be found closing his eyes and recalling sunsets and oysters or at rayspeckman@emmesannex.com. Prime Magazine March 2014

Prescription For A Good Life Blaine And Ann Alberty Blaine Alberty was a University of Missouri undergrad when he first worked at D&H Drugstore. Back then, he never would’ve imagined that he would be an owner at D&H someday, much less that his future wife — whom at that point he hadn’t even met — would work there with him. And not only his future wife, but also a son, a daughter and a daughter-in-law. “It’s amazing,” Blaine says of working at D&H with so many family members, “and it’s really nice.”

March 2014 Prime Magazine

By Anita Neal Harrison Photos By L.G. Patterson

Prime Magazine March 2014

The first ingredients came together in Kansas City, where Blaine met Ann Ellsbury.

T he two of them were set up on a blind date while Blaine was in pharmacy school in Kansas City and Ann was attending nursing school in her hometown of Wichita, three hours away. Blaine and Ann immediately hit it off, largely, they say, because of a shared “weird” sense of humor. The two of them were married on January 6, 1973, while both were still in school. Blaine graduated that May, and in December, he and Ann welcomed their first child, Darran. Upon their son’s arrival, Ann still had one semester left in nursing school, so their little family stayed in Kansas City until the following summer. Then Blaine took a job in Rolla. But just six months later, the owners of D&H called to see if Blaine would want to be a pharmacist at the store’s new location on Paris Road. “And we jumped at the chance to get back to Columbia,” Blaine says, explaining Rolla was a little too small for them. “Columbia has just been perfect.” The move to Columbia came in 1975. As Blaine settled in at D&H, Ann took a nursing position at Columbia Regional Hospital (now University of Missouri Women’s and Children’s Hospital), which had just opened the previous year. Ann and Blaine’s second child, a daughter, Kelly, arrived in 1976, and in 1982, their son Patrick was born. Between Kelly’s and Patrick’s arrivals, Blaine was offered the chance to buy into D&H to become a partner. “We knew we liked Columbia, and we obviously liked D&H a lot, so it was a no-brainer,” he says of that decision. As a pharmacist, Blaine had flexibility in his schedule, and while the kids were growing up, Ann kept her work to parttime. That allowed either her or Blaine to be home most of the time. It worked great as far as taking care of the kids, but that arrangement did mean there were stretches when Ann and Blaine weren’t home much together. It was hard, but both sets of grandparents would watch the kids some on weekends to give Blaine and Ann time to catch up. A big shift came when Darran started high school. Ann felt ready to take a full-time position, and she went to high school with her son — to serve as the Hickman High School nurse. “I really, really liked it,” Ann says, adding she worked a lot with the students, to educate them about their health and prepare them to take care of themselves as adults. “It was really rewarding. And the kids were great. I think that age group sometimes gets a bad rap, but I liked working with them.” When Darran was 16, he started helping out at D&H, delivering prescriptions like his dad had done as a college student. Later, when Kelly was in high school, she also worked at D&H, and Patrick worked there while in college. 16

March 2014 Prime Magazine

When Darran eventually started pharmacy school, Blaine and Ann didn’t really expect him to come back to D&H — and they expected it even less after Darran got serious about a girl from St. Louis, Tanya, now his wife. But Darran and Tanya surprised Blaine and Ann by choosing to settle in Columbia. Darran joined the D&H team in 1997, at the invitation of both his dad and his dad’s partner, Gene Forrester. Tanya, also a pharmacist, followed Darran to D&H in 2000, when she and Darran became parents. Like her motherin-law, she wanted a part-time position to allow her more time at home, and Blaine and Gene were glad to have her. The next Alberty to take a job with D&H was Ann in 2003. She had given up her school nurse job a couple of years earlier to spend more time caring for her aging parents and to help out with grandchildren. But by 2003, she was ready to work again part-time. When she joined D&H, it was still unusual for pharmacies to have a nurse on staff. Ann started out taking patients’ blood pressure and helping them choose appropriate medical equipment. In 2006, she started giving flu and pneumonia shots — making D&H one of the first pharmacies to offer that service. Today, she and another nurse do all of the above, plus a lot of diabetes education. Blaine and Ann’s daughter, Kelly, whose married name is Della Rocca, began at D&H in 2005. A physical therapist with a master’s degree in gerontology, she helps customers with such issues as bracing a minor injury, and she also handles all of the paperwork for the pharmacy’s Medicare accreditation. She, too, surprised her parents by choosing to settle in Columbia. “She was a physical therapist for Barnes Hospital in St. Louis, and that’s where she met her husband, Greg; he’s an orthopedic trauma surgeon,” Blaine explains. “He’s from New York state, and he did training all over the country, and we didn’t think for a minute they’d come to Columbia, but that’s what they decided they wanted to do.” Patrick chose a different path, pursuing an acting, writing and film editing career in New York City, where he lives with his wife, Katie. Katie is also an actor with a degree in women’s studies and is currently focusing on documentary film distribution. “They are very good at what they do,” Blaine says. The addition of Kelly to the D&H staff brought the total number of family members to five. Looking ahead to retirement, Blaine and Gene have made Darran a third partner, which made him a “boss” to his mother, wife and sister. It might sound like a complicated work environment, but for their family, it hasn’t been, Blaine and Ann say. “I think everyone feels pretty open about being able to speak their mind, and I think everyone knows that no one is going to step on anyone else’s ideas,” Blaine says. “I think it’s just like any other employment in that the final decision comes down to the owners,” Ann adds. “We also try really hard not to talk about work as a family group. We try to leave that at work as much as we can and not make that a priority at family gatherings.”

Those family gatherings include six grandchildren. Darran and Tanya have a 13-year-old son and 10-year-old triplets, two girls and one boy, and Kelly and her husband, Greg, have a 5-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old son. Blaine and Ann love being involved grandparents and help out with babysitting and chauffeuring kids to music lessons. They also go to lots of baseball games and dance recitals. And in the summertime, they have a tradition of taking the boys on a trip one year and taking the girls the next. “Last summer, we took the boys to New York to see their uncle and aunt, and we took the girls to Oregon the summer before,” Ann says. Summertime also means family gatherings at the family’s lake house on Table Rock Lake. With retirement on the horizon, Blaine and Ann hope to spend even more time with their children and grandkids in Columbia, as well as with Patrick and Katie in New York, and they plan to do more traveling together. But in the meantime, they’re loving their work at D&H, in particular the interaction with customers. “We have customers who have been coming to D&H longer than I’ve been at D&H,” Blaine says with a laugh. “They can tell us stories about the neighborhood,” adds Ann. “And from the time I came here in ’75 and got to know the customers and their children, and now we’re seeing the children’s children, and even some of the children’s children’s children who are coming back, it’s really rewarding,” Blaine says. “And,” adds Ann, “it’s going by really fast.” v

Blaine and Ann immediately hit it off, largely, they say, because of a shared “weird” sense of humor.

Prime Magazine March 2014

PROMOTION

How To Choose A Vacuum Dealer

Cheap vacuum cleaners can be bought almost anywhere. Department stores, big-box retailers and specialty shops all carry them. Most of the cheap vacuums work fairly well at first, but after a year a so you may notice yours isn’t as powerful as it once was. Your carpets might look dirty and you have to pick up lint by hand because the vacuum doesn’t have the suction it once had. If you pay a little more in the beginning, you’ll get a better quality machine that will last for years. Seek out a reputable vacuum dealer in your area. Try to find one that has been in business for several years. Longestablished businesses have a track

record of taking care of their customers. Those who sell a vacuum and don’t provide additional customer benefits soon disappear. Research several brands and models either online or by consulting Consumer Report’s evaluations. Do your homework to get a better idea of what you may be looking for before you head out to shop. The best option is a dealer who carries several top-quality brands. The best stores will let you compare different vacuum models and features side-by-side. You’ll develop a better understanding of what makes some brands and models outshine their competitors. Compare vacuums in different price ranges. Beware of stores offering only

poor-quality and cheap brands or only the most expensive name brands. You won’t be able to check out the varying levels of performance and quality. Comparison shopping is critical to finding the best machine for your money. Cheap vacuums will require replacement in a few years as their plastic parts wear out and their motors fail. Models and brands in the middle or higher price will last for many years because of their higher quality and construction. The higher-priced models will save you money over time because you won’t be replacing your vacuum every year or so. The best vacuum dealers will know all about their products. They’ll not only be able to discuss differences in the hoses and brushes but also know what makes a certain brand’s motor superior to its competitors. Cosmetic differences and the number of attachments don’t carry the significance of a heavy-duty motor. Find out all you can about your model’s warranty. A generous service and repair policy is also vital. Many good vacuum dealers offer in-house repairs when something breaks. Ask your friends and neighbors where they bought their vacuums. They won’t hesitate to tell you how they were treated as customers. Any store can sell you a vacuum. Not all of them will give you straight answers or really know much about their merchandise. Pick a vacuum specialty dealer for the best in product knowledge, repairs, replacement parts and great customer service. You may pay more at first, but you’ll find you got a great deal that will last for years. v

This “How To” section appears each month in Inside Columbia’s Prime. Readers learn how to find and choose various products and services. 18

March 2014 Prime Magazine

Prime Magazine March 2014

PROMOTION

How To Choose A Funeral Home

It’s never comfortable to think about making funeral arrangements for a loved one, but it’s wise to think ahead so you can be clear-headed and deliberate making the difficult decisions. Most people do not have a lot of experience planning funerals and have to learn as they go. Funerals are costly, prices can vary dramatically, and your emotion can sometimes cloud the decision-making process. Here are some things to think about before your time of grief, so you’ll be able to make the wisest choices possible. The first order of business will be to determine if the deceased has made any funeral arrangements and whether those arrangements need to be altered due to changes in circumstances.

March 2014 Prime Magazine

Even if no arrangements were made, ask family members and close friends to determine if the deceased made any specific wishes known. If possible, those wishes should be respected. If the deceased had any pre-arrangements with a local company, contact them. Be aware that pre-arrangements purchased years ago may no longer cover the cost of the funeral or represent the later wishes of the deceased. In this case, don’t be afraid to shop around to see if you can find a more suitable arrangement or to make adjustments as necessary. To find a funeral home, ask friends, relatives and ministers for a referral. Getting a good referral is a good way to weed out funeral homes that might not have impeccable reputations. It’s also

helpful to think back on funerals you have attended and the impressions you had of the funeral homes in your community. Cost is a major concern for most families. Ask the funeral director about the basic fees. Ask about the services they offer and any payment arrangements that can be made. Ask lots of questions and take notes. Funeral home personnel should patiently answer all questions asked. Request written estimates for everything. Ask about hours for viewing, in-house services versus off-site, cremation services, what is included and the cost of extras and special requests. Once you have decided on the funeral home and type of service, the next step is to get the paperwork in order. Your funeral director can help navigate the necessary forms and permits. You will need to obtain copies of death certificates and make the actual burial or cremation arrangements. If there are other relatives or friends involved, sit down with them and compare notes to find a funeral home that fits your family’s needs. Stay within your budget, and do not allow yourself to be pressured into extras you don’t need or can’t afford. Let the funeral home know who in the deceased’s family is authorized to make decisions. Be very specific about the arrangements, and speak up if something is not being done according to your intentions. A good funeral home has the expertise to guide you through the process and to ensure the funeral runs smoothly for everyone. In your time of bereavement, you’ll be grateful you made a plan so you don’t have to worry about making decisions while mourning your loss.v

Prime Magazine March 2014

PROMOTION

How To Recognize The Signs Of A Heart Attack

Chest Pressure The chest pain experienced by women is often lower than that felt by men. This leads some women to feel that this discomfort is coming from their stomach rather than their chest.

Shortness of Breath Almost six out of ten women who are having a heart attack feel that they are short of breath. Like men, women will feel the need to rest, which will lessen the symptoms in some cases.

Extreme Fatigue A woman having a heart attack will feel unusually tired. She cannot seem to get enough rest or sleep. In fact, this extreme fatigue can precede a heart attack by several weeks.

Signs of a heart attack vary by gender. Most heart attacks start slowly, with mild pain or discomfort. Often people aren’t sure what’s wrong and wait too long before getting help. Here are signs that can mean a heart attack is happening: Men Severe Chest Pain For men, the first sign of a heart attack is often chest pain that lasts several minutes. While everyone experiences minor chest pains from time to time, a person having a heart attack will feel severe chest pressure. It can feel like uncomfortable pressure, squeezing or pain sometimes traveling from the chest to the shoulder area, arms and back. The chest pain from a heart attack will not go away. Normally, it will intensify.

March 2014 Prime Magazine

Shortness Of Breath A man who is having a heart attack will experience shortness of breath with or without chest discomfort. It will feel like he has run a marathon when he is totally out of shape. A man who is having a heart attack may get so short of breath that he faints.

Other Signs Less frequent signs include dizziness, teeth and jaw pain, cold sweats, frequent burps and excessive yawning. These signs may be in combination with the symptoms described above. Women As with men, women’s most common heart attack symptom is chest pain or discomfort. However, the signs of a heart attack in women are harder to diagnose.

Back Pain Men will seldom complain about back pain when having a heart attack. Women, on the other hand, often experience severe back pain.

Nausea Many women who are having a heart attack will feel like they need to vomit. Doctors do not fully understand this feeling in women. Many women will, in fact, vomit when they are having a heart attack. It is important to know the difference between men’s and women’s heart attack symptoms. Knowing these signs can save a life. Seconds really do count, so make sure and follow through by seeking emergency treatment immediately. Call 911 if in doubt. If treatment is not sought quickly, lasting damage may occur. v

Prime Magazine March 2014

Get Involved

Give Love For A Little While Local Organizations Looking For Pet Foster Parents

By Anita Neal Harrison It’s springtime, and that means local animal shelters are being inundated with puppies and kittens. You can give these sweet little animals a chance by being a pet foster parent. “Fostering homeless animals is ideal for community members who wish to maintain a flexible lifestyle but still give back to their community,” says Amanda Burke, a spokesperson for Boone County Animal Care, a nonprofit animal welfare organization. All Columbia-area rescue groups and shelters need foster homes to provide temporary care for animals of various breeds, ages, sizes and temperaments. These foster homes fulfill several purposes, including: • learning about the pet’s character so it can be matched with the appropriate adopter, • providing basic training and house manners to pets that have not lived in a home environment, • allowing baby animals time to grow until they are old enough to be neutered and adopted, • nursing animals to health when sick or injured, • socializing shy or fearful animals and • providing a stressed animal with respite from the shelter environment. This home-based volunteerism is a great activity for people who enjoy having pets but believe that, due to a

March 2014 Prime Magazine

busy travel schedule or for other personal reasons, it would not be responsible to permanently adopt a new pet. “Additionally, you can perform this volunteerism concurrent with other volunteerism or tasks,” Burke says. “Just imagine paying your monthly bills or scheduling club meetings with a darling foster kitty in your lap!” Various organizations will have different foster procedures and expectations of foster owners. At Boone County Animal Care, potential foster homes are asked to describe their past animal care experience and the types of animals they are most comfortable working with in the future. “We solicit your preferences as to size, age and health status, and match you to a foster animal that meets your comfort level,” Burke says. Foster families with experience giving pills or other medications to pets, bottle-feeding kittens and training dogs are greatly appreciated, but such skills are not required. Reputable organizations will offer and provide all supplies for the foster animal, including food, bedding and toys. The organization will also schedule and pay for all necessary veterinary care, including routine vaccinations. Volunteers who have pets or children living in the home, and volunteers who live alone, can all succeed in animal fostering. “It is very beneficial to the organization to learn whether or not adopt-

able animals like to interact with other pets and people of all ages,” Burke says. “However, quiet homes where single animals can be placed are also quite valuable!” Fostering is critically important in a community and state where thousands of healthy animals are killed each year due only to lack of space and other resources, Burke adds. “Accepting a foster animal into your home is a direct, life-saving action,” she says. “If you foster for a ‘no-kill’ organization, you are still saving lives, as that organization will then be able to take in another animal from a euthanizing facility or get an unneutered stray off the street that would eventually breed and add to the pet homelessness (and euthanasia) problem.” v

Foster Pets Here! These Columbia organizations need pet foster parents. ➤ Boone County Animal Care www.Facebook.com/ BooneCountyAnimalCare ➤ Dogs Deserve Better www.dogsdeservebetter.com ➤ Second Chance www.columbia2ndchance.org/ ➤ Central Missouri Humane Society www.cmhspets.com

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March 2014 Prime Magazine

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03.14March February 27–March 1 A tangled love story unfolds in “A Midsummer’s Night Dream,” performed at Rhynsburger Theatre on the University of Missouri campus. Cheryl Black directs the William Shakespeare classic where Helena loves Demetrius, Demetrius loves Hermia, Hermia loves Lysander, and Titania loves an Ass. Shakespeare’s comic fantasy brings together star-crossed lovers, feuding fairies, magic, music, myth and a band of bumbling “rude mechanicals” to lampoon our mortal obsession with true love. From $10; 7:30 to 9:30 p.m.; 129 Fine Arts Building (MU campus); 573-882PLAY (7529); www.theatre.missouri.edu

March 1 & March 5 Alexander Borodin’s opera “Prince Igor” presents live from the Metropolitan Opera via simulcast to Columbia’s Forum 8 Theater. Borodin’s Russian epic, famous for its Polovtsian Dances, comes to the Met for the first time in nearly 100 years at the hands of Dmitri Tcherniakov. This production is a psychological journey through the mind of its conflicted hero, with the founding of the Russian nation as the backdrop. Star bass-baritone Ildar Abdrazakov takes on the monumental title role, with Gianandrea Noseda conducting. From $20; 11 a.m. March 1, 6:30 p.m. March 5; 1209 Forum Katy Parkway; 573-445-7469; www.goodrichqualitytheaters.com

March 1 The Columbia Chorale and Columbia Handbell Society come together for a special concert entitled “Ring and Sing” at First Baptist Church. The program, filled with romance and tragedy, showcases the multicolored sonorities of the two ensembles. From $5; 7 p.m.; 1112 E. Broadway; 573-442-1149; www.columbiachorale.com

March 1 The MU men’s basketball team plays Mississippi State at Mizzou Arena. As part of the Blackout game series, fans are encouraged to wear all black to the game.

March 13 Country Music Awards and Grammy award-winning country star Vince Gill is joined by special guest and wife, Amy Grant, in Jesse Auditorium. Gill is known for such chart-topping songs as “One More Last Chance,” “My Kind of Woman,” and “Don’t Let Our Love Start Slippin’ Away.” Grammy award-winning Grant is sometimes referred to as the “Queen of Christian Pop.” One of her most popular mainstream songs is “I Will Remember You.” From $29; doors open at 6:30 p.m., show at 7 p.m.; 311 Jesse Hall (MU campus); 573-882-3781; www.concertseries.org

Come out and cheer on the Tigers as they take on the Bulldogs. From $25; 12:30 p.m.; 1 Champions Drive; 1-800-CATPAWS (228-7297); www.mutigers.com

March 4 Six of the finest vocalists of the Celtic world, accompanied by six accomplished step dancers and two musicians will perform during Celtic Nights at Jesse Auditorium. Celtic jigs, horn pipes and polkas highlight this program, as well as songs such as “Danny Boy,” “Isle of Hope,” “Galway Day” and “Isle of Innisfree.” From $19; doors open at 6:30 p.m., show at 7 p.m.; 311 Jesse Hall (MU campus); 573882-3781; www.concertseries.org

March 7–8 Each year, alumnae return to Stephens College for the annual Spring Dance Concert at Macklanburg Playhouse. The performance features a variety of dance forms, ranging from classic ballet and modern dance to jazz and tap. A variety of world dance selections highlights the evening’s program in Macklanburg Playhouse. From $8; 7:30 p.m.; 100 Willis Ave.; 573-876-7199; www.stephens. edu/performingarts

March 8–9 The Columbia American Kennel Club hosts the All Breed Dog Show on March 8 and 9 at the Central Missouri Events Prime Magazine March 2014

Center, home of the Boone County Fair. More than 1,000 dogs are expected to compete. Youth handlers age 9 to 10 compete in a junior handlers division. $2, free for children 12 and younger; judging begins at 8 a.m. each day; 212 N. Oakland Gravel Road; 573-474-9435; www.cmokc.org

March 9 The Sean Jones Quartet performs as part of “Sundays at Murry’s” during the “We Always Swing” Jazz Series. Trumpeter Sean Jones is a rising star in the jazz world. His current quartet includes pianist Orrin Evans, bassist Luques Curtis and drummer Obed Calvair. This is Jones’ second jazz series appearance, and first as a leader. From $20; first show: doors open at 2:30 p.m., show at 3:30 p.m.; second show: doors open at 6 p.m., show at 7 p.m.; 3107 Green Meadows Way; 573-449-3001; www.wealwaysswing.org

March 12 Do you think you have what it takes to Name That Tune! at The Blue Note? This mid-week fundraiser invites teams to compete against each other to name

different songs from rock, blues, country, gospel, folk and soul. Proceeds will benefit Blues In The Schools, a local program that has been bringing music to kids in central Missouri since 2007. All tickets include a complimentary appetizer feast, Barefoot wine and Broadway Brewery beer. $35; doors open at 5:30 p.m., show at 6:30 p.m.; 17 N. Ninth St.; 573-8741944; www.thebluenote.com

March 14 The lady Tigers are all set to take on the Florida Gators at the Hearnes Center. Come cheer on the Tigers as Mizzou gymnasts face Florida, the defending NCAA champion. First-year head coach Shannon Welker hopes to lead the team to victory. From $3; competition begins at 6:30 p.m.; 700 E. Stadium Blvd. (MU campus); 1-800-CAT-PAWS (228-7297); www.mutigers.com

March 14–15 The Show-Me Opera with University Philharmonic performs at the Missouri Theatre. This special night features the University of Missouri School of Music Student Ensemble. Free to students, $5 suggested donation for public; 7:30 &

9:30 p.m.; 203 S. Ninth St.; 573-882-9472; www.music.missouri.edu

March 14–16 A story of loss and reconciliation, A Shayna Maidel — which means “pretty girl” in Yiddish — plays out in Macklanburg Theatre on the Stephens College campus. Two sisters are separated as girls and reunite later in life as they live in different realities. One sister has grown up to become a posh New Yorker; the other is homier and bears the memories of surviving the Holocaust. This historical drama explores inner beauty, resilience and reconciliation. From $7; 7:30 p.m. March 14 & 15, 2 p.m. matinee March 16 (Warehouse Theatre, 104 Willis Ave.); 100 Willis Ave.; 573-876-7199; www.stephens.edu/performingarts

March 15 Come to the Parkade Center for the last Columbia Winter Farmers Market of the year. Shoppers can meet and greet with local vendors while they shop for fresh vegetables, fruits, pork, lamb, beef, organic produce, chicken, goat cheese, canned goods, baked goods, eggs, knife sharpening, fresh pasta, plants and more. Free; 9 a.m. to noon; 601 Business Loop 70 W.; 573-8236889; www.columbiafarmersmarket.org

March 15–16 The Missouri Deer Classic And Outdoor Expo welcomes sportsmen to the Central Missouri Events Center, home of the Boone County Fair, for a post-hunting season celebration. Attendees will enjoy the first annual summer sausage eating competition, a “best beard” competition, a tag drawing and more. From $4, free for kids 10 and younger; 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Saturday, 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday; 212 N. Oakland Gravel Road; 573-474-9435; www.missourideerclassic.com

March 15 and March 19 French composer Jules Massenet’s “Werther” will be simulcast live from the Metropolitan Opera to Columbia’s Forum 8 Theater. Two of opera’s greatest artists — Jonas Kaufmann and Elīna Garanča — appear together for the first time at the Met in Massenet’s sublime adaptation of Goethe’s revolutionary and tragic romance. “Werther” is directed and designed by Richard Eyre and Rob Howell. Rising young maestro Alain Altinoglu conducts. From $20; 11:55 a.m. March 1, 6:30 p.m. March 19; 1209 Forum Katy Parkway; 573-4457469; www.goodrichqualitytheaters.com 28

March 2014 Prime Magazine

March 19 The North Village Arts District Farmers and Artisans Market hosts a progressive party fundraiser called “Art of Food.” Guests will enjoy food, drink, art and music while supporting a good cause. Tickets from $18.75 (as part of a group of eight); 6 to 8 p.m.; North Village Arts District (downtown Columbia); www.farmandart.com

March 20 In collaboration with the “We Always Swing” Jazz Series, the MU College of Arts and Sciences presents Newport Jazz Festival: Now 60 at the Missouri Theatre. This seven-piece ensemble celebrates and honors Newport as the longest-running jazz festival in the United States. The septet scheduled to play during the jazz series is made up of some of today’s most noteworthy artists, including Anat Cohen as the ensemble’s musical director, multi-Grammy nominated vocalist Karrin Allyson, five-time Grammywinning trumpeter Randy Brecker, guitarist Mark Whitfield, pianist Peter Martin, bassist Larry Grenadier and drummer Clarence Penn. From $21; doors open at 6 p.m., show at 7 p.m.; 203 S. Ninth St.; 573-449-3001; www.wealwaysswing.org

March 21–22 During the “What If…? Conference” at The Blue Note, 300 off-stage presenters will join 20 question-askers for an experiential conference that brings together educators, entrepreneurs, and status quo challengers. Speakers spend eight minutes asking a question of their choice. The audience then participates through conversation and action plans. Activities start with a workshop and end with a concert. From $55; 4:30 to 7:30 p.m. Friday, 8:30 a.m. to 11:30 p.m. Saturday; 17 N. Ninth St.; www.TheWhatIfConference.com

March 29 The CoMo Craft Bazaar comes to the Knights of Columbus hall in Columbia. The event is free to the public and features handmade crafters, resale vendors, bakery items and much more. Donations can be made to local charities that will be in attendance. Free; 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.; 2525 N. Stadium Blvd.; 660-221-4242

March 31 The Jim Brickman Feel the Love Tour comes to Jesse Auditorium for an evening of solo piano performance. Brickman has revolutionized the sound of solo piano with his pop-style instrumentals and star-studded vocal collaborations. His hit songs include “Angel Eyes,” “If You Believe” and “By Heart.” From $14; 7 p.m.; Jesse Hall (MU campus); 573-882-3781; www.concertseries.org v Prime Magazine March 2014

How Can I Help?

Get In Rhythm The Missouri Contemporary Ballet Grows With Each Performance By Morgan McCarty

In dance, the entire body simultaneously expresses feeling, movement and interpretation. It should come as no surprise then that dancers devote their lives to giving dance their all, even if there is little money attached. That’s why most people might be surprised to learn that most ballet and dance companies are nonprofits. “That’s because we’re not doing it for money; we’re doing it for the art form,” Joanne Sandorfi, director of operations and ballet mistress for the Missouri Contemporary Ballet, says. Missouri Contemporary Ballet is a professional dance company located in Columbia that is committed to creating and presenting high-quality productions and educational opportunities through the art of ballet. The company brings this creative mission to life through its choreographers and Missouri Contemporary Ballet’s artistic director, Karen Mareck Grundy, who together with the dancers create new works for the company. Through this collaboration, new visions are given life and performed.

March 2014 Prime Magazine

Missouri Contemporary Ballet has at least two major performances a year, sometimes three, and a few smaller shows. Missouri Contemporary Ballet also has three educational outreach programs that partner with local elementary schools, retirement homes and family festivals to bring dance to students, residents and the community at-large. The company also recently launched a new outreach program that provides classes to students with special needs. The 10 dancers and four staff members of Missouri Contemporary Ballet work 9 a.m. to 3 p.m., Monday through Friday, rehearsing and working on upcoming performances. The company spends two to three months preparing for each performance. Many of the dancers have night jobs and teach dance classes in local schools and studios. “They do whatever they can to try to support themselves so that they can dance all day, every day,” Sandorfi says. “A lot of the times people don’t understand how much time and work goes into each show, and they don’t under-

stand how much money or how many donations are needed.” Fortunately for Missouri Contemporary Ballet, Columbia has been supportive of the dance company. “I think Columbia is artistically mature enough to support a professional ballet company,” Sandorfi says. “They know what good art is and are willing to stand behind us and support us so we can continue to bring new contemporary ballet works to the community.” The community supports Missouri Contemporary Ballet by coming to the performances and also helps by spreading the word and telling friends and family to come to shows. Those interested in volunteering their time with Missouri Contemporary Ballet can help out during fundraisers (running credit card machines, handling tickets, ushering people to their seats, etc.). Missouri Contemporary Ballet also puts together several large mailings a year and needs assistance preparing those materials. Sandorfi says she also always needs help manning the information table she sets up at each performance. “We wouldn’t be here without the community support,” Sandorfi says. “Each of our shows and community productions is the result of the community supporting us.” Missouri Contemporary Ballet has a couple of big events on the horizon. This month, on Fri., March 7, and Sat., March 8, the company will perform “Music In Motion” in collaboration with Odyssey Chamber Music Series. On Thursday, May 22, Missouri Contemporary Ballet will host its biggest fundraiser, Dancing With Missouri Stars, at Columbia College. Eight local celebrities are paired with Missouri Contemporary Ballet dancers. They learn dances and perform them on the night of the event. The audience votes with dollars, and the dancing couple with the highest amount of votes wins. The company hopes to be able to continue to grow as an artistic group and to be a point of pride for Columbia. Sandorfi says, “We want people to know about us, but we also want people to know about Columbia, and that Columbia is a place and a hub for the arts.” v

Prime Magazine March 2014

Pet Corner

Love’s Peculiar Pull A Force Greater Than Fame, Fortune And Fun By Dr. John Williams

First of all, a big thank you. Apparently last month’s column about my courting expertise when I was a young veterinary student struck a nerve with many of you. A number of readers responded that they had similar experiences in landing, or being landed by, their current spouse. So, it’s nice to know that as a college Don Juan, I wasn’t quite as pathetic as I had always assumed (although my wife is still noncommittal on that subject). A couple of you did inquire, however, if my wife ever responded to the seminal question that gave rise to the column: “Why did you pick a poor, country bumpkin of a veterinary student, like me?” I mean, really. Why, on earth, would a beautiful young lady, with her whole life ahead of her, choose to spend that life with some guy who was going to work 12 to 18 hours every day, then come home with a new set of flesh wounds on his hands and God knows what on the soles of his shoes? Why? First off, we can rule out the usual suspects, that is, the three “Fs”: fame, fortune and fun. Any spouse expecting those while sharing her home and hearth with a veterinarian had better

March 2014 Prime Magazine

rethink the whole arrangement. The only veterinarian I ever heard of who was rich and famous was James Herriot, the author of the All Creatures Great and Small books that were so popular in the 1970s and ’80s. But he had retired before taking up fame and fortune as his life’s vocation. During his working years, I am positive that he muddled and grumbled along like the rest of us. It was only later that he was able to find some humor in what he had done, and that was probably after years of intense therapy. Currently, the only veterinarian that would even be considered for recurring appearances on network talk shows (today’s definition of fame) is likely to be some self-ordained dog psychologist, who has graduated from the Guadalajara College of Animal Behavior and Taxidermy. Then there’s the fun. Yeah, sure. I hate to break it to you, but a veterinarian’s life is not a warm, fuzzy romp through fields of wildflowers while songbirds chirp in the background. I have come to realize, after many years, that people think living with a pet vet must be one big Disney movie. Well, if it is, it’s one where, once in a while, Pluto tries to take a chunk out of

Mickey’s ear or the Little Mermaid terrorizes a beach resort and attacks small fishing boats. Fun? Not so much. Unfortunately, the spouse of a veterinarian has to adjust to many things that may not rate very high on the fun meter. Foremost, they have to adjust to an incessantly ringing telephone. Phone calls in the night, phone calls during dinner, phone calls — well, you get the idea. Over the years I have noticed that spouses hear so much medical advice being imparted by the veterinarian in the house that they glean a basic knowledge of medicine. So much so, that they often can handle many medical questions themselves. I once heard my wife describe the proper home first aid approach to an owner of a gastro intestinally challenged puppy (read that diarrhea). She was so spot on and caring with her advice that the owner called my office the next day and asked to talk to her! True story. So, getting back to how this all started. Why did my wife say yes to me when she could have enjoyed a more normal, not to mention less hectic, and probably more lucrative married life with most other guys? I distinctly remember asking her that question, knowing that I was putting my fragile ego in harm’s way. But I also remember a sly smile coming over her face as she said, “You showed promise.” v

— John Williams, DVM, is a retired Columbia veterinarian who spent 39 years as a small-animal practitioner.

Prime Magazine March 2014

Special Money Management Tax Focus

Don’t Miss This Deduction! Out-Of-Pocket Expenses In Giving Services

Deducting contributions to taxexempt charitable and religious organizations is a popular way to save on taxes. Along with deducting financial contributions, it’s also possible to deduct out-ofpocket expenses incurred in volunteer service. The IRS covers this kind of deduction in Publication 526, Charitable Contributions. This publication explains that although taxpayers cannot deduct the value of their services given to a qualified organization, they may be able to deduct some amounts they pay giving their services to a qualified organization. The amounts must be unreimbursed; directly connected with the services; expenses you had only because of the services you gave; and not personal, living or family expenses. The following information covers specific cases of contributions that can be deducted as out-of-pocket expenses in giving services: Underprivileged youths selected by charity. You can deduct reasonable unreimbursed out-of-pocket expenses you pay

March 2014 Prime Magazine

to allow underprivileged youths to attend athletic events, movies or dinners. The youths must be selected by a charitable organization whose goal is to reduce juvenile delinquency. Your own similar expenses in accompanying the youths are not deductible. Conventions. If a qualified organization selects you to attend a convention as its representative, you can deduct your unreimbursed expenses for travel, including reasonable amounts for meals and lodging, while away from home overnight for the convention. You cannot deduct personal expenses for sightseeing, fishing parties, theater tickets or nightclubs. You also cannot deduct travel, meals and lodging, and other expenses for your spouse or children. You cannot deduct your travel expenses in attending a church convention if you go only as a member of your church rather than as a chosen representative. You can, however, deduct unreimbursed expenses that are directly connected with giving services for your church during the convention.

Church deacon. You can deduct as a charitable contribution any unreimbursed expenses you have while in a permanent diaconate program established by your church. These expenses include the cost of vestments, books and transportation required in order to serve in the program as either a deacon candidate or an ordained deacon. Car expenses. If you do not want to deduct your actual expenses, which include gas and oil, you can use a standard mileage rate of 14 cents a mile to figure your contribution. You can deduct parking fees and tolls whether you use your actual expenses or the standard mileage rate. You must keep reliable written records of your car expenses. Travel. Generally, you can claim a charitable contribution deduction for travel expenses necessarily incurred while you are away from home performing services for a charitable organization only if there is no significant element of personal pleasure, recreation or vacation in the travel. This applies whether you pay the expenses directly or indirectly. You are paying the expenses indirectly if you make a payment to the charitable organization and the organization pays for your travel expenses. Deductible travel expenses include air, rail and bus transportation; out-of-pocket expenses for your car; taxi fares or other costs of transportation between the airport or station and your hotel; lodging costs; and the cost of meals. Because these travel expenses are not business-related, they are not subject to the same limits as business related expenses. v For more complete information on deducting charitable contributions, refer to IRS Publication 526 (2013), Charitable Contributions, online at www.irs.gov/publications/p526/index.html.

special section

☞ Questions And Answers If you are a volunteer for a qualified organization, the following questions and answers may help you determine what is, and is not, deductible out-of-pocket expenses:

Q. I volunteer 6 hours a week in the office of a qualified organization. The receptionist is paid $10 an hour for the same work. Can I deduct $60 a week for my time?

A. No, you cannot deduct the value of your time or services.

Q. The office is 30 miles from my home. Can I deduct any of my car expenses for these trips?

A. Yes, you can deduct the costs of gas and oil that are directly related to getting to and from the place where you volunteer. If you do not want to figure your actual costs, you can deduct 14 cents for each mile.

Q. I volunteer as a Red Cross nurse’s aide at a hospital. Can I deduct the cost of the uniforms I must wear?

A. Yes, you can deduct the cost of buying and cleaning your uniforms if the hospital is a qualified organization, the uniforms are not suitable for everyday use and you must wear them when volunteering.

Q. I pay a babysitter to watch my children while I volunteer for a qualified organization. Can I deduct these costs?

A. No, you cannot deduct payments for childcare expenses as a charitable contribution, even if you would be unable to volunteer without childcare. Prime Magazine March 2014

Life Lessons

Finding A Family Again A Devastating Loss And A Blessed Reunion

By Saralee Perel The letter began: “Dear Saralee, I’ll get right to it. We are cousins.” When I first read Robin’s words, I didn’t believe her. How could I have a first cousin I knew nothing about? She found me by Googling my name. “I would love to speak with you and share family memories,” she wrote. So I called her at her home in Pennsylvania. Sure enough, her mother was my aunt Rebecca. I never even knew my aunt had a child. When Robin and I spoke, it was like talking to a sister. We used the same expressions, laughed and cried alike, related to each other like we’d grown up together and even described ourselves in the same goofy way, as lunatics. Her children’s careers are in writing and psychology, just like my professions. We both sign our emails, “Love, me.” And we each include our dogs in the family photos we send. Together, we figured out why we never knew each other existed. I haven’t thought about my mother’s melancholia in a while. Oh, how I blame myself for waiting until it was too late to make things better. Mom’s history was one of neglect and abuse. She wanted so desperately to be loved, but her fury at her parents was unrelenting. So she took it out on the most important people in her world — the ones she held closest to her heart. Most of her family wouldn’t speak to her. She didn’t understand that by constantly hanging up on relatives after shouting at them, they’d stop calling. She didn’t understand that being mean didn’t solve problems; it just alienated people. And I didn’t understand that when Mom slammed her door each time I’d leave, it was because she wanted me nearby, in her home and in her heart.

March 2014 Prime Magazine

My poor mother crippled her own life when all she truly wanted was the closeness she never had. How immature and selfish of me, as an adult, not to see the love she so deeply longed for. When I told Robin that Mom ended her own life, she was not surprised. Sadly, all of Mom’s family, other than my brother, had also stopped talking with me when they gave up on my mom. Aunt Rebecca and her husband, my uncle Jack, were included in the sad picture of estranged relatives. Therefore, I had no idea Robin existed. Although I’d tried to reconnect, no one ever responded. But now, thanks to Robin, I’ve been accepted into a new family, with all the richness that goes along with feeling welcomed by loved ones with a shared past. In her first email, Robin wrote: “I was awake all last night thinking of us. I find it unbelievable but wonderful and astounding! If you tried to write it, they would call it fiction.” I said, “I’m so happy you found me.” “So am I.” My mother would have treasured being a part of this extraordinary reunion. After all, the love I found is all she ever wanted. The truth is, my mother loved me as intensely as I loved her.

If only I had said: “I love you, Mom. I didn’t mean to hurt you so much, especially when I left for college. You never meant to hurt me. You just wanted me to always be with you because you loved me in the purest sense. I should have known this.” I wish I had told her that even though we didn’t shop, talk on the phone or share secrets and laughter the way many mothers and daughters do, we still loved each other profoundly — as strongly as rivers can flow and birds can soar. Maybe, oh, maybe, somewhere in her tender, aching heart, she knew. v Award-winning columnist, Saralee Perel, can be reached at sperel@saraleeperel.com or via her website: www.saraleeperel.com.

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FOR MORE INFORMATION OR TO PURCHASE TICKETS VISIT insidecolumbia.net/events #BOC2014 Prime Magazine March 2014

Fun & Games

Letter-Link Word Search Puzzle Directions: The words in the Word List are hidden in the puzzle grid. Some are not in straight lines, so look in all directions for each next letter (right, left, up, down, diagonal). Do not backtrack. Words may overlap each other or themselves by one letter.

Wearin’ O’ The Green

word list ANCESTORS

IRELAND

BAGPIPE

JIG

BISHOP

MAGIC

BLARNEY

MARCH

BOGS

MISCHIEF

BROGUE

PINT

CASTLE

POTATO

CELTIC CROSSES

POT-O-GOLD

CLOVER

RAINBOWS

COLEEN

RITUALS

CORNED BEEF

RUGBY

CRICKET

SEVENTEENTH

CRUBEENS

SHILLELAGH

DUBLIN

SHRINES

ELF

STEWS

ERIN GO BRAGH

STORYTELLER

FAERIES

TRADITIONS

FEASTS

WALKING STICK

FORTUNES

YARN

Cryptogram Decipher this quote by unraveling the secret code. Each letter stands for another letter. We’ve given you a few hints to get you started.

>>>

Test your knowledge! Turn to Page 42 to check your answers. 38

March 2014 Prime Magazine

Prime Magazine March 2014

Recipe Box

Celebrate Decades Of Decadence

▼ 1930s

Pineapple Upside Down Cake Pineapple Upside Down Cake Yield: 8 servings Serving size: 1 slice Canola oil cooking spray 1/3 cup packed dark brown sugar 4 to 5 pineapple rings (about 1/4 of whole pineapple) about 1/2-inch thick 2 tablespoon chopped crystallized ginger 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour 3/4 cup whole-wheat pastry flour 3/4 cup granulated sugar 1 teaspoon baking powder 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 cup low-fat buttermilk 1/2 cup canola oil 2 large eggs 1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Each decade has its own distinct foods, including desserts such as southern Lemon Chess Pie from the 1820s, Strawberry Shortcake from the 1850s or New York’s Black and White Cookies, first baked up in the Roaring 1920s. To celebrate these nostalgic sweets, CanolaInfo.org’s “Decades of Decadence” serves up a recipe collection with modern influence by Ellie Krieger, M.S., R.D., host of the Cooking Channel’s “Healthy Appetite.” “History shaped these desserts and they have stuck around because they are inherently delicious,” she says. “They were driven by the availability of ingredients in their day, advertising by food companies in women’s magazines and advancements in food technology or appliances.” To boost nutrition and keep saturated fat in check, the recipes are updated with heart-healthy ingredients, such as low-fat yogurt, whole-grain flour and canola oil, which has the least saturated fat and most omega-3 fat of all common culinary oils. Try this fresh, healthy update on 1930s Pineapple Upside Down Cake, originally invented to take advantage of canned pineapple. Take a journey back to the ’40s with Chocolate War Cake, a chocolaty indulgence that’s a cinch to make. Or dig into Frozen Grasshopper Pie, a ’50s favorite once home freezers became common. v

Preheat oven to 350°F. Generously spray bottom of 9-inch, nonstick layer cake pan with canola oil cooking spray. Sprinkle evenly with brown sugar, then arrange pineapple rings on top in one layer. Sprinkle chopped ginger pieces in spaces around pineapple rings and in their centers. In medium bowl, whisk together all-purpose flour, whole-wheat flour, sugar, baking powder and baking soda. In another medium bowl, whisk together buttermilk, canola oil, eggs and vanilla. Mix wet and dry ingredients until combined. Pour batter over pineapple-brown sugar mixture and bake until top is lightly browned and wooden skewer inserted into center of cake comes out clean, 40 to 50 minutes. Let cool for 5 minutes, then run knife around cake edges and, using oven mitts, invert cake onto large serving plate. Note: Whole-wheat, all-purpose flour can be substituted for whole-wheat pastry flour. Nutritional Analysis (per Serving): Calories 390; Fat 16 g; Saturated Fat 1.5 g; Cholesterol, 55 mg; Sodium 270 mg, Carbohydrates 57 g; Fiber 2 g; Protein, 6 g 40

March 2014 Prime Magazine

▼ 1940s Chocolate War Cake Chocolate War Cake Yield: 12 slices Serving size: 1 slice 3/4 3/4 1 1/3 1 1/2 1 1 1/3 1 1/2

cup whole-wheat pastry flour cup all-purpose flour cup granulated sugar cup natural cocoa powder teaspoon baking soda teaspoon salt cup cold water tablespoon cider vinegar cup canola oil teaspoon pure vanilla extract teaspoon confectioners’ sugar

Preheat oven to 350°F. In 9-inch round baking pan, whisk together whole-wheat pastry flour, all-purpose flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt. In small bowl or measuring cup, combine water and vinegar. Make well in center of flour mixture in pan, and pour canola oil and vanilla extract into well. Pour water-vinegar mixture over top of flour, and then stir well to blend all ingredients. Bake until set and toothpick inserted into center comes out clean, about 30 to 35 minutes. Place cake on rack to cool in pan. Once cool, sprinkle with confectioners’ sugar. Note: Whole-wheat, all-purpose flour can be substituted for whole-wheat pastry flour. Nutritional Analysis (per Serving): Calories 180; Fat 7 g; Saturated Fat 0.5 g; Cholesterol 0 mg; Sodium 200 mg; Carbohydrates 29 g; Fiber 2 g; Protein 2 g

▼ 1950s Frozen Grasshopper Pie Yield: 8 servings Serving size: 1 slice Canola oil cooking spray 1 1/4 cups finely crushed chocolate wafer cookies or chocolate graham cracker crumbs 3 tablespoons canola oil 4 cups mint chip reduced-fat ice cream or frozen yogurt, softened 1/3 cup chocolate shavings Preheat oven to 350°F. Spray 9-inch pie dish with canola oil cooking spray. In medium bowl, mix cookie crumbs and canola oil until combined, and then press mixture into prepared pie dish. Bake until fragrant, 6 to 8 minutes. Allow to cool completely. In large bowl, place softened ice cream and mix well until uniform texture forms, similar to soft-serve ice cream. Fill cooled pie crust with ice cream, smoothing out top. Garnish with chocolate shavings, cover with plastic wrap, and put back in freezer until solidly frozen, at least 4 hours. When ready to serve, heat knife under hot water and use it to cut pie into slices. Note: An ice cream or frozen yogurt without green food coloring is recommended. To make chocolate shavings, use a vegetable peeler to peel strips from a thick block of chocolate. If the chocolate crumbles as you make the shavings, put it in the microwave at 10-second intervals to soften it slightly. Nutritional Analysis (per Serving): Calories 290; Fat 14 g; Saturated Fat 5 g; Cholesterol 15 mg; Sodium 190 mg; Carbohydrates 36 g; Fiber 1 g; Protein 5 g For the complete “Decades of Decadence” collection and more recipes from Krieger, visit www.CanolaInfo.org. Prime Magazine March 2014

Prime Pages

fun & games solved Challenge your brain with this month’s puzzles found on Page 38.

Letter-Link Word Search

Cryptogram Answer

Defending Jacob: A Novel William Landay (Random House Publishing Group, 2012)

T 42

“There is no man suddenly either excellently good or extremely evil.” ~ Sir Philip Sidney

REVIEWED By Gretchen Pressley

Did You Know?

This isn’t author William Landay’s first brush with the law. In fact, he spent seven years as an assistant district attorney before turning his legal pen toward book writing. Defending Jacob, his third book, is a crime novel drawing comparison to the greats. Our narrator is Andy Barber, an assistant district attorney. His trustworthiness and biases will be up to you to decide. The scene is this: There has been a murder. A 14-year-old boy has been found stabbed to death. The town is in an uproar, and Andy’s own son, Jacob, went to school with the victim. The pressure is on to find the killer, and then, out of the chaos comes a suspect. Is it the sex offender from the neighborhood? Not quite. It’s Jacob, Andy’s 14-year-old son, who, evidence reveals, was bullied frequently by the murdered boy. And who conveniently found the body. And whom classmates describe as a bit weird. Suddenly, Andy’s on a mission not only to find the killer but also to prove that it wasn’t his son. But how can he defend Jacob when there are doubts of his son’s innocence building in his own mind? How can he keep his family from crumbling around him in the face of the community’s wrath? How can he remain strong when his son’s reticence, mood swings and refusal to defend himself are swinging Andy’s certainty in the other direction? A detailed look at not only the legal system but also at the bonds that hold families together, Defending Jacob takes a hard look at tough questions, largely, if violence can be inherited. Although it drags in parts, readers will have a hard time putting this book down — at least until they know for sure who the killer really is. v

On both the vernal (spring) and autumnal equinox, Earth is tilted neither away from nor toward the sun. As a result, all over the globe, the sun spends as much time above the horizon as it does below. The spring equinox is on March 20.

March 2014 Prime Magazine

Prime Magazine March 2014

Your Bucket List

“I Can Do This!” Dola Haessig Finds Her Inner Artist By Anita Neal harrison

When she signed up for her first class at the Columbia Art League, Dola Haessig was just looking for a distraction. What she got was a revelation. “I was amazed at how free it made me feel!” she says. “It was just revelatory to go into a drawing class and find, ‘I can do this!’ ” Haessig had long been interested in art. She was an avid amateur photographer, and at the University of Missouri, she served as the webmaster for the College of Arts and Sciences. She had even dabbled in sketching some through the years, but she hadn’t taken an art class since crossing off a college requirement. That was despite the fact

March 2014 Prime Magazine

that she volunteered for the Columbia Art League as a webmaster for about five years before taking her first class. She did not at all expect the class to affect her like it did. She was so thrilled that when her instructor, Thom Smith, offered a class with chalk pastel, she signed up. “And I fell in love,” she says. “What a medium!” All of that was five years ago now, and Haessig, who retired in 2010, is still taking classes. “I see it as a way to do something in my retired life that is a challenge and is creative,” she says, adding she’s found the Columbia Art League to be

a “wonderfully secure place” to explore her artistry. “It’s mostly people my age taking classes,” she explains, “and if my fellow students had experience before, it had been some years since they had practiced art in any way. And unlike art classes at the university, there’s no grading. There’s just learning going on. It’s just me comparing what I did today to what I did before and saying, ‘I didn’t get it yesterday; I get it today.’ ” Haessig enters her work in the Columbia Art League shows, including the Boone County Art Show, and has won a couple of honorable mentions. She hasn’t submitted to any other shows — yet. “Maybe I will,” she says, “but right now, where I am comfortable is within the community of the Columbia Art League.” As for an “artist statement,” or an explanation of why she does the art she does, Haessig doesn’t really have one. “I don’t know why I do art exactly,” she says. “It is challenging to learn something new, and I like that. “This is something that brings me joy; it really does,” she adds. “And not just joy, fun. I have fun doing art.” v

Tell us your story Have you crossed something off your bucket list? Please share your experience with us for a chance to be in an upcoming issue of Prime! Just send a brief note describing the feat to anita@inside columbia.net, and if we choose to feature your triumph, we will be in contact for an interview.

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Columbia Confidential: Publisher Fred Parry On The Issues Columbia Is Talking About

The Truth Hurts

President Barack Obama’s declaration in a recent issue of The New Yorker that marijuana is no more dangerous than alcohol has legitimized drug use for a new generation of our nation’s most at-risk populations. That statement — coupled with recent moves by states to decriminalize marijuana use — may be the most vivid example of just how far our country has slipped, another sign that America’s permissive drug culture is sending this nation into an abyss from which there is little hope of recovery. Although the medical community has warned of the devastating health consequences surrounding drug use, the American public is taking its cue from politicians and activists, buying into the lie. The same thing happened in this country over the issue of tobacco use. The medical community issued warnings, but politicians and their lobbyists advanced the cause to the point where hundreds of thousands of Americans eventually died from lung cancer. Now I’m fairly certain that the next few paragraphs are going to anger some folks in our community. But there are cold, hard realities that we can’t sweep under the rug anymore. Unfortunately, our society’s permissive attitude toward drug abuse has trickled down into our own community. If you have a child older than 12 in Columbia’s public schools, there’s a great likelihood that your child has already been exposed to marijuana and other drugs while at school. Ask a police officer or a teacher unafraid of retribution, and you’ll get an honest and revealing confirmation of this fact. The middle schools in Columbia are where it all begins. School district administrators insist that parents or law enforcement should handle the problem, yet they refuse to let police bring drug-sniffing dogs into the schools. Hiding behind a student’s right to privacy, district leaders fear they might be forced to take ownership of the problem if drugs are found in school lockers. Parents insist that their children are getting their drugs at school and claim to be helpless, rather than make a proactive effort to get to the bottom of the matter. Law enforcement claims its hands are tied by an uncooperative school district and a pro-marijuana City Council. There’s a lot of fingerpointing going on in the community and, in the end, the blame game solves nothing. Political correctness rules the day and we

March 2014 Prime Magazine

are paralyzed by our fear of being labeled as “intolerant” or “closedminded.” The truth hurts. It seems nothing will change in our community, though, until the child of a prominent family dies of a drug overdose or until a critical mass of citizens feels passionate enough to replace the majority of members on both the school board and the Columbia City Council. Unfortunately, it seems that things are about to get much worse. Two members of Columbia’s City Council are already hinting that they will pursue a measure to decriminalize marijuana in our community. With a progressive majority on the council, look for an ordinance to be in place by the end of 2014. The publisher of our local daily newspaper has long been a proponent of legalizing drugs. Columbia Police Chief Ken Burton has stated publicly, while speaking to the Northwest Rotary Club, that he believes marijuana should be decriminalized in our community. And, as a further sign that all hope may be lost, don’t expect much change from our school district in the near future. The pending retirement of Superintendent Chris Belcher means that, once again, this can will get kicked down the road to become another administration’s problem. Drug abuse and addiction has become the one issue that Columbia just can’t get its arms around. What a shame. Columbia desperately needs a coalition of community members who are willing to effect change and slay some sacred cows. Until this happens, we can expect the problem to grow. Precious lives are at stake. It’s time to stand up and take matters into our own hands.

Fred Parry, fred@insidecolumbia.net

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