IN F L U E N C E : h e a l t h & w e l l n e s s
Laziness: A Leading Cause of Divorce WRITTEN BY L E S L I E M O N T O Y A L I F E C O A C H & E M M Y AWA R D W I N N I N G T V H O S T
R
ecent studies conducted in the U.S. found that
“Joe spends a lot of time at work,” she said. “When he finally
almost half of divorced individuals reported
gets home and I want to talk about things that need to be
wished they or their ex-spouse had tried harder
done, he just avoids me.”
to resolve their differences before choosing to
divorce. If the course of a relationship is examined from the
I have seen the same situation occur with many couples, but
beginning, it is found that curiosity plays a large role as one of
for different reasons, and with different levels of intensity. At
the top positive characteristics in a new couple. Learning each
the end, the average couple behaves very similarly during
other’s needs, and figuring out how to fulfill those needs, is one
difficult times, where one of the two pursues talking out their
of the most exciting and enjoyable activities to new couples.
problems, while the other withdraws.
Unfortunately for many marriages, this activity seems to fade out with time. “Are you kidding me?” was the discouraged expression of one of my clients whom I will call “Joe”. “I have enough to do at my job to also have to figure out what I need to do to get some love from my wife.” I met Joe and his wife when their marital crisis had reached critical mass, and the possibility of
According to researchers, about 50 percent of all first marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. And it gets even worse for second marriages, where an estimated 60 percent end in divorce.The top reason for this, with a 73 percent occurrence, is the lack of commitment by one or both partners.
divorce was imminent. The reason for their impending split-
I have been married for 11 years, and like any other marriage, it
up, according to Joe, was because she was a totally different
has been challenging. Every time I am going through a difficult
person than the one he had fallen in love with.
period in my relationship, I remember what the priest who married us asked me days before the wedding.
“She argues for every single thing - nothing seems to please
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her,” Joe said.
“Why do you want to marry him?” he asked.
Joe’s wife; however, said the reason was because he was
“Because I know I am going to be very happy with him,” I
insensitive to events and situations at home.
responded with total certainty,
IN FLUENTIAL