Idiot, rascal and fool!

When the shock and surprise of unexpected loss slowly eases, other emotions come to the fore

Her hands shook as she placed the receiver down, yec she refused co believe the news Her husband was a sports achlece who had just had a phys ical as part of his company's require.menc, so how could he suffer a hearc attack?

It cook her a few moments co calm herself as the truth slowly sunk in.

She asked her neighbour co coUecc the kids from sc hool, and then left for the hospical. The registrar met her at the en ti:ance. Her husband's body had already been moved the morgue and they were waiting for her authorisation to conduct che post-mortem. She agreed , buc asked them co wait until his sons had seen their father.

Her sons arrived minutes later, but were only prepared to look ar their father from a distance. It was as if death had drawn a li.ne line becween them and che fathe r d1ey had known alJ their lives. And d1e area beyo nd chac imaginary line was now forbidden to them. Seeing d1eir fear she knew thac she had taken the right decision in delaying me autopsy.

Once d1e post-mortem began, she cook her sons a nd left th e hospital building. Much had to be arranged, including the foneral rites. Her sons were too young to manage things, but she needed d1eir support as she faced d1e new comorrow. Later drnt evening it was conli.rmed thac her husband had su ffered m yo cardial infarction.

Her parents arrived that night, and it felt good to be encir cled in d1eir arms and to know that the two people who loved her d1e most were there for her. Her fad1er took over che financial matters, locating the wil~ meeting with the lawyers and arranging the final rites Her mother took over the social side of things - looking after d1e mourners and well- wi shers, and speaking to d1em on behalf of her daughter.

She sat and heard me praises being sung of her husband, and for hours she wiped che tears thac fell Her mother held her when d1e weeping was d1e worse. Her so ns grahhed her when she fainted On me day of the fw1eral she was lmable to scancl, and a wheelchair was brought so d1at she could be transported to the prayer ha.U.

But she soldiered on and saw it through. Her parents made sure that alJ the rites were done to perfection. They ensured thac n o one would ever be able to complain that their orphaned son-in -law was not g iven a proper farewell.

After the funeral, they stayed on with their daughcer for a m onth. Only w hen they saw d1at their daughter could cope by herself, did they leave for cheir home. lt was agreed that they would put thei r home on rent and move in wid1 her. Th ey would have preferred that their daughter stayed in iliei r home, but me grandc hildren did not want co move schools o r be separated from meir friends.

She too was happy to know that her parents would be close. She needed their presence as she adapted to d1e life of a w idow, to the freedom of chinking fo r herself and to me power of deciding what was needed for her kids. Wid1 alJ the money her husband had given her, these were things that had been missing.

And so she spe nt d1e next year becoming her own person. Her parents insisted that she break w ith tradition and disregard the restrictions that were normally placed on widows Her sister s demanded that she go out w ith them and remrn co a norrnal life.

Just mond1s later, her l ife began m oving in to an established routine. Her children were finally at peace and chey confidently rook on cheir new role as independent beings, just a s she cook on hers as an independent person. She established her friendships again. And even went o n a shopping splurge. Her husband's estate left her a wealthy woman. She had known chey were rich, but never realised whac her husband was truly worch in monetary terms Now she owned all, for he had lefc everything to her and the kids lt took a while before she was truly able co stand on her own feet. But she achieved d1at. She took over the financial dealings from her farner and she gained independence from her mother. Never were parents more proud than the momenc when d1ey saw d1eir daughter break away from chem with confidence.

On the first anniversary of her husband's death, they went and laid a monument in his honour. She even opened a cha.rit:y in his name. She bowed in front of her husband's statue in reve rence as che crowd cheered at the inauguration. Her sons lie che lamp in frooc of his photo. She promised d1e crowd d1ar the light would remain lit forever.

i\s with the funeral, mass feeding was undertaken and clod1es were given co the needy. There was not a soul in doubt mat d1ey were wimessing true devocion and felt sorry for che woman w ho was not yet forty, but was facing a long, lonely journey ahead of her. At d1e same ti.me chey also marveUed ac ber peace and held her up as an example.

Despite her solitary life, her parents saw d1ac sh e was content. She once again laughed, but more impo r tantly, she once again smiled. She had become human!

Soon after, her parents moved back co d1eir own home. Their work was done. Tbeir daughter

\Vas li.na!Jy her own person. Confident and strong, she had become what she was before her marriage.

.ln all the yea rs no one knew, apart from her parents, of che abusive marriage she had endured.

Of her relati onship wid1 a man who bashed her at whim, who dictated her be haviour, and who terrorised the children wirn his v iolent o utbursts and insults. Nor did chey know of h is attack on the family maid and of the assault on his late fad1er

The y had watched helplessly as she continued in cbat marriage for d1e sake o f che children. She had said mar she would noc l eave w id1our them, and he would never have let them go

But the Gods had been kind and the)' were now free of him. He was now where he should be and his children were in a far better p lace.

On leaving, her mother said, "You are better off wimout him. You know chat, don't you?"

"l know. l am bener off and so a.re the kids. He will n ever again ca!J me an 'idiot', nor will he ca!J his kids, 'rascal and foo l'."

ARIES tv1 a rch 21 - Apr il 19

You have a lot to deal with right now, and need to p r io r itise what to deal with first. You are burdened , both e m o t ionally and professionally. You are feeling ve r y upset and alone right now, and unsure of how t o handle your love r 's de m an d s If single, someone who is playing hard to get You are stressed so watch your h ea lth Be positive, think that a ll is well and will work out for the best. There will be great de m ands on you for the next few weeks

TAURUS April 20 - tv1 a y 20

Your health is poorly right now, and you may need alt erna t ive medication to boost up your immune system You have been ove r worked and stressed, so take good care of yourself and your soul Work is tense as changes cou ld lead to redundancies and cut-backs, but they will not affect you tmotionally you are r easonably peacef ul, b u t also bored of yourcurren t circumstances and are thin king of what to do. Financially, tighten your purse strings and spend less!

GEMINI tv1 ay 2 1 - J un e 20

You will be more spiritually awa re of your surroundings and existence, with peace, meditation and a lot of thinking You may t hink of moving to another country or city, for work or settling down You need to decide if you want to be with your partner or not, to end the procrastina t ion, but your d ecision will s t ill leave you confused Life is going well and financially you are secure; look at buying property for stability Keep a tige r's eye in your pocket.

CANCER Jun e 2 1 - Ju n e 20

It's time to start speaking up for what you want in life instead of sitting back while the world goes by. E::motionally you are looking for security and stability, and will make a commitment to a possible engagement or marriage Watch you r t ongue, as you can get short tempered Promotion and money are indicated in the future Take care of health and follow a good exercise regime. Cut down fried and sugary foods. E::njoy fresh air and long walks which are good for you r syst em

LEO J u l y 2 3 - Aug 22

Try gaining peace this mont h, as disagreements with family membe rs have left you feeling tense and stressed out Work is not great, and life is a drain It is a time of change and you need a calm approach

Try deep breathing to prevent los ing your coo l. E::motionally you are feeling close to you r partner, and may t ake a short break together

Fina ncially you want t o make m ore money, and your current job is going well. If looking fo r wo r k, put in applications now.

VIRGO Aug 23 - S e p 22

This is a time fo r inner soul searching. Look at what you want to do and where you want to be, and then change your direction accordingly The current workflow or study pattern does not satisfy your cravings. Change in your environment indicates you could be travelling shortly. Love is on the cards with an attraction to someone at your office or place of study. A change of wardrobe , image and a makeover are indicated as you have been neglecting yourself lately

LIBRA S e p 23 - O c t 22

This month is all about changes and work-related decisions. Be resourceful and strive to achieve at work , as you will have the opportu n ities There will be interesting developments in your love life Financially, look at investments and property th rough the year Parents will cause some stress as they will want you t o be more settled and focussed It is a time of communication and loving feelings towards yourself and your close ones

SCORPIO Oct 23 - N o v 21

Fun -l oving days are here, so take ti m e out and really re lax. Your work-home life balance has not been happy as you have been working t oo hard Learn to relax and let things fl ow Try not to be such a workaholic, which causes fa m ily problems. Lovers will be on edge , with many changes around Children are in thoughts, e ither deciding to have a chil d o r their future Financially you are not saving, so be careful and put some money aside fo r rainy days

SAGITTARIUS N ov 22 -D ec 21

This month sees the end of inne r conflict and pessimism With a major shift in attitude, you will feel a lot bette r. Loans or overdrafts may cause worry as you may have splurged on the house or your partner Love is going through some difficult times , but und erstanding will grow towa rds the end of t he month. Work is causing a little stress , but you will be given extra responsibility Spend time outdoo r s, and stay close to water

CAPRICORN D e c 22 - J an 19

You are going through a confusing and indecisive time Move away fro m people who do not fea t ure in your life. A new person entering your life in a relationship will give you support, love and respect , making you happier and content. Bury and forget t he past, ka r m a is in play and you will soon see a shift in attitude from those who have done you wrong. Work will pick up and financially you will grow and achieve Take care o f your healt h

AQUARIUS Jan 20 - f=eb 18

You will look back with regret on how you have handled certain situations. Work is busy, with p ressure on to completejobs and take on new tasks and projects while new faces appear and others leave Financially, treat yourself to a luxury item You may purchase a new property in another state or country Problems with digestion may occur, so take care Love is cooling off and if married , you are feeling bo red Be careful of temptations

PISCES f=eb 19 - tv1a r ch 2 0

You w ant to march ahead with plans and ideas, and are bursting with energy and inspiration Working with children is on the cards and new contacts may lead to new vent ures You may do charity work Companies will s u pport your ideas and will lead to strong ties As you have been working hard and have proved yourself to superio rs, promotion or more m oney is indicated. Socialise and have fun In love, you may propose to your partner or get closer t o them