norance is not • 155

Being truly Indian means possessing indepth knowledge of the country, and not just of one's state

more di s rurbing about the Mumbai-Delhi axis' general disinterest in anrthing east or south.

Vanakka1J1 and welcome back co Chennai, one of the hottest cities in lnd ia during the summer. A l though built along the coast, seaside Chennai only seems to ge t the coo l sea breeze in winter. \X!ithollt this respite, the sweaty hear lasts long inro the night, and on the hottest of days everything seems to radiate the sun's war mth.

The Indian media is now flush with stories of the cising summer and tbe impending monsoo n along the west coasc. For Chennaikers however, the monsoon is still at least six months away Whi le watching lndia 's plethora of ne,vs channels, 1 can't he lp but sense a deep disconnect between the India o.f people's minds, and the modern geographic bom1dacies. Listening co news emanating from Mumbai and Delhi, it would seem that India doesn't extend any further east or south than the \X'estern Ghats. Of course, the biggest, most important news so often oc curs in centres o f population - this is true even in Australia, where nearly all narional news programmes are produced in Sydney 01· Melbourne. However, there is sometbing altogether

Many years ago, an acquaintance once told me that all Indians speak Hindi. I challenged him on that, saying that the Mahl speakers of 1'1.inicoy Isl and, or the Tibeteru1 language-speaking peop le of Arunachal Pradesh m ig ht argue otherwise. To this he replied, "Yeah, bur they're not re.'llly Indian". I was aghast - bow could be simply write off thousands, possibly millions of people, as "not Indian", simply because they didn't look or sound like him? And in a counu·y like India, which prides i tself on pl uralism? 1 dared to stoke the fire by suggesting that if chose peop le aren't Indian, perhaps India s hould give chose territories up. Needless to say, the fur y that swelled in his eyes informed me that now would be a good rime ro stop talking. U nfornmately, this was an extreme manifestation of a w idesp read problem which I was to encounter many times again. Llke most prejudices, this one is based on ignorance. But at w hat cost? A tcigger issue for many Indians is the Kashmir conAict. Yer how many Indian s know which languages are spoken in the disputed tercirory? How man y people could locate Gilgic on a map? Does anyone acrually know the current stan1s of the conAict at the U n ited I ations? Or do we just know that it's "ours", not "theii:s", and that's why we should fight? lo bis excellent book Superpmi,er, Raghav Bal1 l speaks of the "s iege mentality" of Indians; that is, a deep suspicion of the countries which occupy India's borders, and a knee- je r k hostility to an y action by d1em. Through the sweep of h istory, Bahl makes sense of why this has developed But as India emerges as a superpower, it is time for all of us to understand.

The monsoon, although much less volatile than the Kaslu:nir conilicr, is a case in po int.

A quick survey of my fairly educated, reasonab l)' world ly contacts from the western and northern scares revealed that all but one were bliss full y unaware that India experie nces more than one monsoon each year.

A recent commercial for The Hifldt1 newspaper p layed on this, b y asking peop le to name India's vice -president and Hr ithik Roshan's pet name. For the purpose of the co nunercial, most people could identify only the latter Taking inspirarion from this, I decided to cast a wider net with m y research, to examine what a selection of Mumbaikers and Del hiites know abom lndia today. In my quizzing, few knew the cap itals of Tcipura or Meghalaya, and none that H yde rabad was once an independen t state, forcefully incorporated into India b y military action. Two people weren't aware that Chhattisgarh was now a state of its own, two more thought that Delh i was in Uttar Pradesh! And no -o ne was

The asiatic faces of Arunacha/ Pradesh aware tbat India fought a short war with Portugal over Goa, in which 22 Indian servicemen died, and which is still referred to in much foreign literature as an 'annexation' or an ' invasion'. Now there's something to get angry about!

History and politics aside, the point is that we all need to start recognizing India as a who le. 28 states and 7 union terr itories? \XTe should be able to name them all, plus their capitals. And we should be ab le to call them all Indian; otherwise maybe we shouldn't call ourselves Indian. Things are definitely improving; the days when peop le called for Dravi da Nadu or Khalisran arc now bm a memory. However ic has been shown tbrougbout history that sepa ratist groups thrive on exclusion, so I wor ry when I hear of ignorance or oucrigbt hostili ty to India's various minorities, some of whom have a legitimate axe to grind. We need to know about India because knowledge is power, and if lnclians are kn owled geable , then we will be powerful.

Ok, so I shouldn't say 'we' , because I'm not reall y Indian. But at the ver y least, in September, when everyone else i s celebrating the end of the monsoon, spare a thought for us down in hot-asHades Chennai, where we know the real meaning of the phrase 'Indian Summer'!

Carrying

Iwas in d1e garden the other day cutting so me roses.

As I held a stem ro cur a beautifully formed rose, l inadvertently pricked m ysel f and before I knew it, I had le t go!

It coostamly amazes me how wonderfully iomitive and resil.ienc the Almig h ty has made our bod.ies. There was obviously a process b y which the nerves in m y linger relayed a message of pa.in to m y bra.in, which i n turn sent back an order co disassociate. Thi s process occurred so fast t ha t I couJd say, 'I d.idn't have time to chink'; bur 'iliiok', l did My subconscious self over rule d th e n eed to acquire a beautifuJ rose in ord er to p reserve m y body from the pain it reg istere d , however fleetingly.

As children we are taught to st,'ly away from 6re and sharp things, a nd the co n sequences we face if we don't. Our curiosity wo uld have overcome us a nd we all fe lt p a.in in experim en ti ng w ith /ires, knives, needles or whatever was o ne's choice of intrigue As we grow up, that curiosi ty d.iminishes a nd is replaced by the wisdom o f experience. We k now lire i s h oc, knives are sha rp and to srop feeling p ain - we have to Jet go

So why is it that eveo as ad ults with so m uch experience and wisdom under our belts, we /ind ic so hard co lee go when it comes to certain aspects of our lives? Why do certain peop le come into our lives and form sucb ao attachment co us that it cl o ud s our judgeme nt and sense of s elf? \'lie know we should Jet go b ut we hold on, oblivious to the pa.in tl1ey cause us and we may be causing chem , in the despera te hope of acq uiring chat figurative rose?

\Xle live in a society where we are taugh t to expect.

Co n sumer ism ingrains i o u s chat s hoes, purses and even people, will bring us happiness. We buy t hese d1ings o r acqua.im ourse lves with suc b people and form attachm en ts, which lead us to have expectations

Bu t these expectations l ead co disappointmen t Because reaUy, which purse, shoe or outfit will give you eternal happiness? Which p erson will a lways make you happy no marter wha t? Peopl e a nd purchases can only give yo u

Aeeting e lation. Constancy in happ in ess co mes from knowing when to stay and when to walk away. Bur when do yo u k now its rime to walk away? When you pr ick yourself on a d1orn it's easy enough to let go; but in other more intangible situa tions where peop le and e m o ti on s and re lationships ate involved, how do you kn ow wheu e n ough is eno ug h ? The first thing you may need to do is to lee go o f your ego Put aside tl1e expectation chat chis person owes me' , or 'so and so s hould love m e as much as I Jove tl1em', or ' they s hould do this because I did chis', a nd it's easie r to assess a s ituation o bjectively wid1 our a sense of entitlemen t c loudiog your judge ment.

When you see t bat yo u are meeting so meone m o re than halfway and they are n o t making the effort in return, Jee go

When you see that your over.invo lvement and em o tio n s are maki ng so meo n e un comfoccable, let go

When you know you 've lost, le e go.

When you feel chat you're los ing your self- respect, let go Letting go o f something or someo n e you love will. brin g the realisarioo that o ne has co be humble to achieve a state of emanci pation tha t alle viates pain When you sto p expecting or feeling a sen se of entitlement, or beli eving you are always right and chat you can m ake eve r ythin g go yo ur way - that's when you realise chat t he best thing to do is to lee go Forming attachments to worldly dungs or people will a lways end in dis appoi nm1enc, because they are n o t perfect. But forming an attachmem to God w ill not let you down, because your expectations are aligned to the Almighty, and not to things or people.

T hat's easier said than clone though - sometin1es even when you know tbat Jetting go is the right thing to do - yo u don't do it. You cling to the familia r even tl1oug h it may have become pain ful In s uch cases something has to g ive. And something does Relationsh ips go so ur, frie n dsh ips e nd. Families faU apart. Because people chink witl1 their egos, act and speak in anger and most of all, refuse to let go But as Joseph

CampbeU sa.id, "UVe 11111st be ivilling to let go of the life 111e have p!a11ned, so as to accept the life !hat is 111aiti11gfor us'' Bue when you le t go of sometlung chat con sumed you, w ith w hat d o you replace it?

1. Keep busy D oi ng tl1ings keeps yo ur mind o ccupied and you will have less rime to rep lay the negativity and the healing p rocess is expedi ted Clea ni ng is the hest ,vay to stay b usy becau se focusi n g yo ur attention o n d irty dishes or messy cu pboards help s. Phys ical cleaning is the bes t catalyse for a me n tal c leaning.

2 A differe nt view. Look at the simation d.ifferen tly Stop che 'woe is me ' n onsense and have fa.i ch tl1at whatever h appened was meant to b e. Eve n if you do not see it now, t he re was a reason it happened. Be grateful a n d move on.

3. Cry Sleep and crying are two of the m ost underrated d1ings in th e world Cry it out and sleep it off. I t's b e en scientifically proven t ha t crying away yo ur negative feelings r elea ses harm fuJ chemicals chat b uild up in yo ur body cl u e to stress Have a good cry or rant to yo ur best mace. But makes sure yo u d o n 't overdo it. \ Xlallowiog in moderation is the key

4. Change Retail thera py isn't called tl1erapy for nothing. Buying so metl1ing new, getting a haircut, applying for a job - positive actions to mitigate n egativi ty

5 Move. Yoga, run ning, exercise will make you more aware o f the pre sent and s to p you d welling on the past

6 B e kind. T o )'Oursel f. Doo'c ye ll at yo ursel f. You are your own best friend. Be nice to yourse lf.

List your positive attributes and acl1ievements and when your inner voi ce fills your head with positive though ts, you w ill find it easier to push awa y the bad o nes.

7 Give more and e xp ect less.

D o n 't expect anything from an yo ne. You are no t entitled co an ytlung. Be chari tab le co others an d have no expectations, so that whatever comes your way w ill be a pleasant surp rise.

8 Take responsibility. Hating the o tl1er perso n will nor solve your problem. Focus on what you cl.id and how you can improve E mpowerm ent will always negate b itterness and lead to self respect. Self- realisati on leads to understanding and em p atl1y, and Je ctiog go.

9. Express yourself Write, sin g , paint - but express yo ur feelings Let i t al] out, because bottling d1 ings up has n ever helped anyone. Overcome, don't avoid You cannot run away from yourself.

I 0 Laugh. Laug hte r really is tl1e be st med.icine. Watch a funny movie; hang o ut with your mates, hear yourself laugh and feel it cure you.

11 Have faith l n God and tl1e abilities He has e ndowed in you Eno ugh sai d !