includem Language Guide

Getting our Language Right A Guide to Language for Service Delivery Teams

January 2023

Acknowledgements We thank The Children’s Society’s Appropriate Language in Relation to Child Exploitation, The National Autistic Society, The SAFE Project, The Promise – Independent Care Review and Each and Every Child for their suggestions, which have informed this guide.

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Getting our Language Right One of the things the Independent Care Review (2017) highlighted was that we need to change the way we speak and write about care. Consultation with hundreds of care experienced people led to a commitment to ensure ‘language must be easily understood, be positive and must not create or compound stigma’ (The Promise, p.87) and ‘simple, caring language must be used’ (p.69). Language determines how people view themselves and how they relate to their world.

We all play a role in shaping culture for the people who experience services’ involvement in their lives.

Includem have developed this guide with help from some of the young people we support. It outlines some of the principles that we can use to guide our communication, highlights some words and phrases that we would like to stop using and why, and suggests some alternatives.

We have included some quotations from the young people we support about how the language in this guide made them feel.

This guide offers suggestions and is not definitive. It will evolve as we identify how our language affects people. Remaining conscious of the words that we use and the impact they have is key. This process often involves pausing and thinking when we speak or write, drawing our team’s attention to words, and breaking habits. Some words can be appropriate or inappropriate depending on the context; some young people we spoke to said that the word 'violent' was a misleading label for young people in distress, however, another young person who experienced domestic abuse was keen that 'violence' was labelled as such.

Our Principles • If you could use a simpler or more ordinary word, use it • Describe situations, don’t label • Our language should not suggest undue responsibility • Our language should not reinforce stigma or shame • Includem’s language should help to normalise the experience of our service

We should always assume children, young people and families could read what we write about them, and talking to people about how terms make them feel could be a helpful conversation to have. Individuals ultimately have the best knowledge of what language is unhelpful or supportive to them.

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If you could use a simpler or more ordinary word, use it Includem shouldn’t use words with overly technical or medical associations, when this is unnecessary; young people and families are only likely to hear some of these terms through care experience.

One young person we spoke to asked that we stop using words which have “bad vibes, computery vibes”.

Unhelpful terms Abscond “This is such a weird word, I’d never heard of that word before I was in care”

Alternatives Run away Ask the child how they describe where they live.

Placement

Use the name of the place or someone who they live with.

“I think that it should be up to the child how they describe how they live.”

Moving Placements

Moving to a new house A new start/chapter

Siblings

Brothers and sisters (but sibling may be good non-gendered word).

“I don’t like siblings. He’s my brother. My brother doesn’t know what sibling means. Say his name.”

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Family

Describe situations, don’t label Some terms can be misused or overused, or they can be too vague to tell us much about a person or situation. It is important for us to consider the factors which underlie a situation or a person’s response; equally, it is not appropriate for us to construct our narrative for what people feel and why. Instead, we should be posing questions and exploring this with people. This links to emotional intelligence.

When describing situations, be mindful of whose perspective is being taken. It may be appropriate to explain your thinking or acknowledge your own perspective and feelings, e.g. ‘The young person’s behaviour caused me to feel unsafe’. This is better than trying to maintain an objective perspective, when this is not possible for you.

Unhelpful terms Dysregulated This term suggests the emotional response was wrong.

Violent Acting Out Kicked/ Kicking Off Challenging behaviour Escalated (without context) “Violence means lots. Say the behaviour.”

Alternatives Describing context, behaviours and emotions e.g.

Distressed response to [context] Name what we observe, give context and consider why. This refocuses our attention on the experience of the person and what may have caused them to react in this way; this will not be apparent much of the time, and we can acknowledge this. By exploring this with the person, we can move away from understanding behaviour only as anger, but as a manifestation of different emotions. ‘Angry’ behaviour may signal a need.

Distressed response to [highlight context] which started as… and led to… e.g. ‘John threw a remote at the wall when his mum asked him to get ready for school. John has said he gets angry in the morning, it may be due to being worried about school. This is something we will explore with him.’

‘Mary was shouting and telling Jane to clean her bedroom. Jane responded to this by shouting and then hitting and punching her mum on the head’ 5

The Anger Iceberg Icebergs are large pieces of ice found floating in the open ocean. What you can see from the surface can be misleading. Most of the iceberg is hidden below the water.

This is how anger works.

Often when we are angry, there are other emotions hidden under the surface.

ANGRY embarrassed worried

disgusted

shame

frustrated

disrespected

unsure

guilt

helpless

trauma grumpy

tricked

scared

nervous

distrustful

grief

hurt

disappointed uncomfortable

regret

rejected attacked

offended

lonely

trapped

insecure

stressed

annoyed

depressed

overwhelmed 6

Source: Anger Iceberg, The Gottman Institute

Unhelpful terms

Alternatives They react to [some situations] by shouting and using swear words.

They used personal insults including ‘xyz’.

Verbally aggressive

Vulnerable This is a label, it might undermine the person’s agency and sense of possibility.

“I do not like the word vulnerable. I prefer ‘unsafe at points’.

e.g. ‘Jack suddenly started to shout close to my face and wave his arms. Includem are unsure why Jack reacted in this way, the team will explore different ways that we can approach this.’

Unsafe at points.

With vulnerabilities - This term acknowledges risk but allows that the person is more than the vulnerabilities that they may have.

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Our language should not suggest undue responsibility Some terms can mask an abusive or exploitative context, contributing to victim blaming. ‘Adultification’ can sometimes occur, when children and young people are described using terms that imply they are more grown up or have more responsibility than they do. These concerns can come down to a subtle but important emphasis. Some terms put undue responsibility on children, young people and families to trust us, we need to consider that they may have been let down before.

Unhelpful terms

Drug running/involved in a gang

Non engaging/engagement Hard to Reach

Alternatives The child/young person is being criminally exploited to distribute drugs.

Part of a friend group who have been doing illegal things such as...

We have not been able to engage yet.

Services have not yet found the best way to build relationships with them.

Support was offered that did not meet the needs of the young person at that time.

Includem needs to find a way to build trust.

They are not in a place just now to seek support “you could just say they’re not talking to you yet” “Try a different way”

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Our language should not reinforce stigma or shame Some peoples’ experiences may have caused them to view their lives through a lens of shame, and we don’t want to reinforce these narratives. Some terms are heavily loaded with stigma; in our collective imagination we can have images and thoughts which come to mind when we use them. Some terms may frame things in relation to norms and standards which have not been made clear.

Unhelpful terms

Addict Addiction Drug User

Alternatives Substance misuse Unhelpful coping strategies Problems related to using substances person who misuses substances Some research has shown a preference for ‘person first’ language in relation to substance use, always trying to put the person first in sentences; their relationship to substances should not define them.

Offending, young offenders

Young people in conflict with the law

This term has come to be associated with unhelpful images, it alienates the people described this way.

This term reorients our thinking, to consider the young person’s relationship to organisations like the police, and how this may have been damaged.

Chaotic

There are risks to…

There are a lack of protective factors

Children’s unit

[Name the place] House

Issue “Issue sounds like there is something wrong with you, and there’s not!”

Challenges, barriers, things you’re not happy about, difficult situation, something they want to change, goals they want to set “I prefer ‘things not working’” 9

Not beyond help

Even framed positively, this term is alienating and is not empowering

Poverty (or how we describe it) Families not being able to make ends meet Breadline These terms can create shame and create barriers to seeking assistance or sharing views. Some terms imply that the responsibility for difficulty lies with families.

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) Person has autism Person with autism

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We don’t give up We find the best way to build trust and support sustainable changes Unmet needs Having what all children need to thrive/for healthy development Hardship Quality of life Access to basic resources/necessities Inequality Financial stress Budgeting challenges Unsustainable Families with low income Autism Spectrum Conditions (ASC) Autistic person/child Some research has noted a preference for positive ‘identity first’ language in relation to autism, so autism is not ‘something you carry around in a bag’ rather it is a positive part of who you are.

Includem’s language should help to normalise the experience of our service The language we use to characterise our work is important, and this includes the words we tend to use with our colleagues. Language shapes reality, and the way we think about our roles influences the way we think about the children, young people and families we support; this language filters through to the way we talk with them, too. Where there are formal procedures which have titles, we should use their proper names instead of acronyms.

Unhelpful terms

Alternatives Children, young people and families I support [x] young people I am lead worker for X

Case/Case Support/ Case allocation “A case is a bag. I am not a bag! Don’t say ‘this case has been handed over’ when you mean a person”.

Matched team members/Team arrangement/ Team structure A Better Life planning A Better Life review Support planning Activity planning Phone calls, emails Discussions with other professionals

Contacts

Visits Phone calls Messages

Contact Logs

Daily Diary Notes Reflections

Deployment This brings to mind the military, our roles are not combative

Planning Planners Diaries

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Exit Exit Reports Focused Work All our time should be focused in that it should be used in a supportive way, and this term is not appealing to anyone!

Frontline Workers Staff

‘Frontline’ us a combative term. ‘Staff’ is a term which frames roles within a hierarchy.

A Better Life Guided Learning Prompting Learning Outcomes Family Support Team Includem Support Team

Intensive This word is associated with difficulty

Ready and responsive As often as families need

Intervention

This word is associated with clinical disorders and implies interference.

Support Elements of A Better Life

On programme

Supported by includem

Outcomes

This word is often used to frame our support, however, if used inappropriately when talking with people it may reduce peoples’ experiences to ‘tick boxes’.

Unplanned “Missed/Cancelled/ Refused”

Success

We do not want to set children, young people and families up to feel like they may ‘fail’, as success and failure often go hand in hand.

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Moving On Moving On Review Moving On Evaluation

Positive, sustained changes The difference it has made Reasons for referral to includem Reasons for moving on from our support Unannounced Visit Responsive Visit Flexible response Making changes, What makes you happy, Things are easier, Achievements, Opportunities

Acronym Guide Legal/Social Services

Services

ATR: Alternative To Remand

CADS: Community Alcohol and Drug Service

CHS: Child Hearings Scotland

CAMHS: Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services

CCE: Child Criminal Exploitation

CPN: Community Psychiatric Nurses

CP: Child Protection

IFSS: Intensive Family Support Service

CPO: Child Protection Order (Children’s Legislation)

ISMS: Intensive Support & Monitoring Service

CPO: Community Payback Order (Criminal Justice Legislation)

STAR: Siblings Reunited

CSE: Child Sexual Exploitation CSO: Compulsory Supervision Order

Techniques/Theories

CTO: Compulsory Treatment Order (Mental Health Legislation)

ACES: Adverse Childhood Experiences

FGDM: Family Group Decision Meeting

ARC: Anchor positive emotions, Reflect, Consistency

JII: Joint Investigative Interview

DDP: Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy

ICSO: Interim Compulsory Supervision Order

LEAPS: Listen, Empathise, Ask questions, Paraphrase, Summarise

IRD: Initial Referral Discussion

PACE: Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy

LAAFH: Looked After Away From Home

PALMS: Position, Attitude, Look & Listen, Make space, Stance

LAC: Looked After Child

PSRM: Pro-Social Role Modelling

LAAC: Looked After and Accommodated Child

RAIN: Recognise feelings, Allow them, Investigate, Nurture

SCIM: Scottish Child Interview Model

RRR: Regulation, Relate, Reason

TAC: Team Around the Child

SMART Goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time bound

VPD: Vulnerable Person Database

STARR: Structuring, Teaching, Accounting, Reflecting, Relating

VRI: Visual Recorded Interview

START:AV: Short-term Assessment of Risk & Treatability: Adolescent Version

YPOC: Young Person Of Concern

AIM 3: Assessment Intervention and Moving on ABL: A Better Life- Includem's practitioner toolkit

Policies GIRFEC: Getting It Right For Every Child SHANARRI(H): Safe, Healthy, Active, Nurtured, Achieving, Respected, Responsible, Included, (Hope)

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