ask ceci

www.morethanacover.com Dear Ceci

I have been feeling so tired every day and cannot pull myself together for school work. As A-Level draws near, I feel so anxious and I find it hard to concentrate. What should I do?

Tired and Anxious

Dear Tired and Anxious,

Thank you for sharing your feelings and concerns with me. I can understand how much you value the exams and want to do well. Indeed, it is very hard to concentrate on your school work when you feel anxious, so the first step to pull yourself together is to deal with your anxiety. To begin with, try to recognize and accept all your feelings without judgment and tell yourself it is alright to feel anxious. As you observe yourself in this manner, you will see the flow of thoughts and emotions in your mind and how they gradually fade away. Moreover, you may also be creative in comforting yourself through the five senses. For example, you may try to listen to your favorite music, read some quotes of encouragement, drink a cup of hot chocolate, light a scented candle or take a relaxing bath. Remember, anxiety is a common emotion and a reminder from your body that you need something for a change. As long as you know how to manage it, you can coexist with it harmoniously and convert it into something beneficial. When you feel better, your strength will return and you will be ready for the exams ahead.

Ceci

Dear Ceci,

I find it hard to reject people who come to ask for my help. As I take up more and more responsibilities, I feel overburdened and I even have to set aside my own goals just to fulfill the promises I made to others. What should I do to make a change and live my own life?

Yes Lady

Dear Yes Lady,

First of all, I would like to acknowledge your kind and beautiful heart in offering a helping hand, this is a precious quality that everyone of us needs in this world today. Nevertheless, to make good use of it, you need to set a boundary regarding how you assist other people. Just like what the pre-flight announcement says about wearing our own oxygen masks before helping our neighbors, we need to take good care of ourselves before assisting other people. As such, the first person whom you should never reject is none other than yourself. To put it into practice, learn to love yourself by paying more attention to your feelings and needs. Furthermore, set a boundary based on the goals you want to attain and try not to feel guilty when you need to reject someone. As a matter of fact, your relationship with other people will not be readily destroyed just because you say no to their requests. On the contrary, if you say yes to everything and go beyond your limits, you will suffer from distorted relationship and excessive stress. Therefore, be courageous in speaking genuinely about your situation and say no whenever it is necessary. By doing so, you will feel happier about yourself and may even gather sufficient strength to help more people around.

Ceci

Dear Ceci,

In the beginning of 2022, I promised myself to try and overcome procrastination. Now that the first quarter of the year has passed, I am still delaying most of my work, particularly the difficult tasks. What should I do?

Procrastinate No More

Dear Procrastinate No More,

Have you ever investigated the root causes of your procrastination? Provided that you know why this occurs in the first place, it may be easier for you to deal with it. For example, some people procrastinate because they encounter a difficult task and do not know where to begin. If you feel the same, it may be helpful to set multiple short-term goals and focus on attaining them one by one. Sometimes, people procrastinate because they are too lazy to move forward. If you feel the same, try to give yourself some rewards as encouragement when you accomplish certain goals. In other cases, people procrastinate because they are afraid of failures. In this situation, imagine how you will feel if you remain idle for a few months, a year or even longer. After this exercise, you will realize the energy you waste in the process of procrastination is far more than that you need in accomplishing a task. Finally, when you decide it is too exhausting to procrastinate and want something for a change, try to gather all your senses and feel how good it is to complete your work. When you submerge yourself into the positive atmosphere of attaining goals, receiving rewards and feeling the goodness of completing a task, you will be encouraged to take the first step and stop procrastination.

Ceci Do you have questions that you’re too embarrassed to ask?

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Ceci is here to discuss and try to answer all your questions about life, friendship, family, relationships, and growing up. She is the big sister that you can always ask questions to!

Cecilia Ao is a lifelong learner who enjoys exploring life through the lens of Psychology, History and Philosophy.

She welcomes the silence of a starry night to write in her journal. She is always ready to listen, share stories, and offer her wise counsel to all comers! |