BCIC Deference Sample

Deference Limiting my freedom in order not to offend the tastes of those God has called me to serve

“It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.”

ROMANS 14:21

PAUL SUPPORTS HIMSELF WHILE PREACHING “We . . . wrought with labour and travail night and day, that we might not be chargeable to any of you: Not because we have not power, but to make ourselves an ensample unto you to follow us.”

II THESSALONIANS 3:8–9

SPIRITUAL GIFT:

BIBLICAL CHARACTER ILLUSTRATED CURRICULUM Illustrated in Scripture, Illustrated in Life

Mercy

CONTENTS

Biblical Character Illustrated Curriculum Illustrated in Scripture “The testimony of the Lord is sure, making

2

6

wise the simple” (Psalm 19:7b). Biblical

Introduction

character is illustrated in this curriculum

2 How to Use This Curriculum

through both artwork and lessons from

3 Goals and Objectives

the lives of people in God’s Word. We most

4 Character Quality Overview

often benefit from the positive examples

5 Deference in Scripture

of faithful men and women. “For whatso-

Lesson 1:

Be a Good Example

7 Bible Story: Paul Supports Himself While Preaching 8 Memory Verse: I Timothy 4:12 9 Activity: Simon Says

10 Lesson 2:

Use Music to Edify Others

12 Memory Verse: I Chronicles 16:23 13 Activity: Music in the Making!

Refrain from Causing Offense

15 Bible Story: The Unexpected Provision for Peter’s Taxes 16 Memory Verse: Romans 14:21 17 Activity: Found in a Fish

18 Lesson 4: Avoid Using Disrespectful Language

22

written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope” (Romans 15:4). There were also people in the Bible who are repre-

11 Bible Story: God Gives Moses a Song for Israel

14 Lesson 3:

ever things were written aforetime were

sentations of poor character, and we can learn from their lives as well. “Now these things were our examples, to the intent we should not lust after evil things, as they also lusted” (I Corinthians 10:6). We would be wise to learn from the testimonies God has given us in Scripture.

Illustrated in Life “Faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God” (Romans 10:17). Hearing the Word of God causes us to grow in faith.

This curriculum offers many practical

19 Bible Story: Shimei’s Bitter Outburst

applications of God’s Word to everyday

20 Memory Verse: Psalm 141:3

life. “But be ye doers of the word, and not

21 Activity: Crossword Puzzle

hearers only” (James 1:22). As God enables

Additional Resources

us to act in faith, our lives as believers will

22 Deference GEMs 23 Journal and GEM

illustrate His character to others.

Mine

24 H ymn Sheet Music: “May the Mind of Christ, My Savior” 25 H ymn History: “May the Mind of Christ, My Savior” by Kate Wilkinson 26 Explaining Salvation to a Child 27 Reproducible Coloring Pages 31 Recommended Resources

The character of God is illustrated in Scripture.

May it also be illustrated in our lives.

Character Quality Overview What Is Deference?

Read aloud and discuss what deference means and how it applies to life.

T

he operational definition of deference is “limiting

to sleep. When someone is on the phone, he impo-

my freedom in order not to offend the tastes of

litely continues to talk loudly. He thoughtlessly plows

those God has called me to serve.” Everyone you are

ahead with his own schedule, ideas, and preferences

called to serve—your parents, siblings, neighbors,

without consulting others or being willing to change

church family—has preferences. Maybe your mom

his plans for them. His coarse words and actions are

wants a specific cleaner used on a certain type of sur-

hurtful and offensive. His rude behavior is in stark

face. Possibly you

contrast to Paul’s prayer in Philippians 1:9–10: “And

are asked to load

this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and

the dishwasher a

more in knowl-

precise way. Per-

edge and in

haps you share

all judgment;

a bedroom with

That ye may

your sister, and

be sincere and

she would like to

without offence

paint it a certain

till the day of

color or organize

Christ.”

When we show deference, others are unhindered by us in their journey with the Lord.

it a different way.

Maybe a neighbor needs assistance with a project and prefers that you come at a specific time. A person’s preferences may or may not seem important to you.

However, by setting aside what you think is best or most efficient and honoring their choice or desire, you are demonstrating deference. Deference communicates Christ’s love as you give preference to others above yourself in order to be a blessing to them. “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another” (Romans 12:10).

4

People are different and have unique

When we do not show deference, we become an obstacle that hinders others in their journey with the Lord.

tastes, preferences, and ideas. With such varying perspectives, your home could be filled with arguments all the time! If you find yourself demanding to have your own way, remind yourself that God resists the proud but gives grace for every situation only as we humble ourselves. (See I Peter 5:5.) The Lord’s grace will enable you to lay aside your comforts, desires, and freedoms so that you can show His love to others

The opposite of deference is rudeness. A rude person

as you put them first. You will soon know the peace

is unpleasant to be around because he only seems to

that comes when we practice deference. “Behold,

think about himself. Such a person is inconsiderate.

how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell

He will turn on a light when someone else is trying

together in unity!” (Psalm 133:1).

Obstructed road photo: Copyright © 2014 Oregon Department of Transportation. Used by permission.

Deference in Scripture

A

DEFERENCE KEY VERSE

s you read and study God’s Word, you will

“It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine,

see Who He is! Be willing to be changed by

nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is

Him so Christ can be seen through your life and

offended, or is made weak.” ROMANS 14:21

others will glorify God.

The Character of God

Deference in My Life

We see examples of deference in God’s character in the following ways:

Now let’s examine some ways God wants us to live out deference daily.

•

God deferred to Israel’s request for a king even though His desire was that the nation be a theocracy.

(See I Samuel 8:7, 22.)

•

God will set aside His anger for the sake of His glory and praise.

(See Isaiah 48:9.)

•

Jesus yielded to His parents’ plans even though He was ready to begin His ministry.

(See Luke 2:41–52.)

•

Jesus answered the Samaritan woman, not by arguing with her but instead by graciously speaking truth to her.

•

(See Genesis 13:8–9.)

•

Jesus laid aside the glories of Heaven to come humbly to earth to be born and live in human flesh and die a terrible death in order that we might be saved.

(See Philippians 2:5–11.)

•

The Holy Spirit indwells believers, guiding them and reminding them to live without sin and offense.

(See I Corinthians 6:16–20.)

Has the Lord brought someone to mind that I have offended? If so, what should I do?

(See Matthew 5:23–25.)

•

How serious is it to lead a child astray from God’s truth?

(See Matthew 18:6.)

•

What is God asking me to deny for His sake and the sake of the Gospel?

(See Mark 8:34–35.)

•

(See John 4:20–24.)

•

How can I avoid conflict with my family?

Am I willing to limit my freedom as the Holy Spirit directs?

(See Acts 16:6, Romans 6:13.)

•

What should I focus on instead of judging others’ differences?

(See Romans 14:13, 19.)

•

Why should I be careful not to be offensive?

(See II Corinthians 6:3.)

•

Instead of demanding my own way, what is the example Christ gave that I should imitate?

(See Philippians 2:3.)

5

GOD ENABLES ME TO

Be a Good Example INTRODUCTION

B

abies learn through imitation. Clapping, giggling, covering your eyes—whatever you do, they will copy you. Yet, babies are not the only ones who imitate you. Did you know that your brothers, sisters, and friends are also watching you? For this very reason, God’s Word tells you to be a good example. Being a good example may mean limiting your freedom. However, with limitations can come greater opportunities to point others in the right direction. Whether you are seven, seventeen, or seventy-seven, you can influence people’s lives by making wise choices as you live for Christ. “Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity” (I Timothy 4:12). Remember: Others are watching! Ask God to enable you to be a good influence on those around you.

Paul Supports Himself While Preaching

DEFERENCE Limiting my freedom in order not to offend the tastes of those God has called me to serve 6

BIBLE STORY

LESSON 1

Paul Supports Himself While Preaching

H

Be a Good Example

aving just finished ministering in Athens, the Apostle Paul traveled to Corinth. Well-known

toward laziness? Seeing the possible impact of his

for his bold, outspoken commitment to Jesus Christ,

worked to support himself as he was ministering

he spent his days discipling new believers in the faith

to others. Paul’s deference avoided an offense that

and writing under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.

could have hindered the cause of Christ. How did Paul

Paul knew that as a minister, he had a Biblical right

support himself as he traveled from place to place

to expect financial support from believers. However,

and preached? While in Corinth, Paul lived with a

Paul was teaching that men ought to work hard so

husband and wife who shared his profession. How

they could have food, support their families, and help other believers. If he taught this principle with-

example, Paul willingly set aside this freedom and

did the apostle’s good example affect the couple with whom he lived and worked? What else do Paul’s epistles

out working himself, would people listen to him?

teach about deference?

If others saw Paul not working at an occupation,

Let’s read the Bible story in Acts 18:1–4 and I Corinthians 9:1–18 and then discuss the following questions.

would they be tempted to justify their own tendency

1. Who did Paul find when he arrived in Corinth?

(See Acts 18:1–2.)

What new places have you been to where you made new friends? Do your friends know that you are a Christian?

2. What occupation did Paul have in common with Aquila and Priscilla? (See Acts 18:3.)

What activities, beliefs, or hobbies do you have in common with your friends? How do those common interests draw you together?

3. How did Paul spend his Sabbath Days?

(See Acts 18:4.)

What activities might you lay aside on the Lord’s Day to be a good example to other believers?

(See Isaiah 58:13–14.)

4. Why was Paul making tents in addition to preaching? (See Acts 20:33–35, II Thessalonians 3:8–10.)

When have you chosen to work instead of play because you knew it would encourage someone else who needed to keep working?

5. Based on God’s Word, Paul had the power (right) to be supported in his ministry. What was his motive for giving up that right?

(See I Corinthians 9:12.)

What activities or privileges do you need to give up so you will have a stronger witness for Christ?

6. Who ordained that preachers should not have to make their livelihood outside of their ministry?

(See I Corinthians 9:14.)

What missionaries or ministries does your church or family support?

7. Who in this story saw and followed Paul’s example of working to support himself while ministering to others? (See Romans 16:3–5a.)

Who has been a good example to you? How can you be a good example to others?

8. In what other ways did Paul teach we are to show deference to one another? (See Romans 14:19–21.)

In what area of your life do you need to show deference right now?

7

Operational Definitions of Character Qualities ALERTNESS vs. Unawareness

ATTENTIVENESS vs. Unconcern

AVAILABILITY vs. Self-Centeredness

BOLDNESS vs. Fearfulness

CAUTIOUSNESS vs. Rashness

COMPASSION vs. Indifference

CONTENTMENT vs. Covetousness

Being aware of that which is taking place around me so that I can have the right response to it

Showing the worth of a person by giving undivided concentration to his words and emotions

Making my own schedule and priorities secondary to the wishes of those I am serving

Confidence that what I have to say or do is true and right and just in the sight of God

Knowing how important right timing is in accomplishing right actions

Investing whatever is necessary to heal the hurts of others

Realizing that God has provided everything I need for my present happiness

Mark 14:38

Hebrews 2:1

Acts 4:29

Proverbs 19:2

S

M

Philippians 2:20–21

S

P

G

I John 3:17

M

I Timothy 6:8

G

CREATIVITY vs. Underachievement

DECISIVENESS vs. Double-mindedness

DEFERENCE vs. Rudeness

DEPENDABILITY vs. Inconsistency

DETERMINATION vs. Faintheartedness

DILIGENCE vs. Slothfulness

DISCERNMENT vs. Judgment

Approaching a need, a task, or an idea from a new perspective

The ability to finalize difficult decisions based on the will and ways of God

Limiting my freedom in order not to offend the tastes of those God has called me to serve

Fulfilling what I consented to do even if it means unexpected sacrifice

Purposing to accomplish God’s goals in God’s time regardless of the opposition

The God-given ability to understand why things happen

James 1:5

Romans 14:21

Visualizing each task as a special assignment from the Lord and using all my energies to accomplish it

Romans 12:2

E

O

M

Psalm 15:4

T

O

II Timothy 4:7–8

Colossians 3:23

T

I Samuel 16:7

E

DISCRETION vs. Simplemindedness

ENDURANCE vs. Giving Up

ENTHUSIASM vs. Apathy

FAITH vs. Unbelief

FLEXIBILITY vs. Resistance

FORGIVENESS vs. Rejection

GENEROSITY vs. Stinginess

The ability to avoid words, actions, and attitudes that could result in undesirable consequences

The inward strength to withstand stress to accomplish God’s best

Fervently expressing with my soul the joy of my spirit

Visualizing what God intends to do in a given situation and acting in harmony with it

Not setting my affections on ideas or plans that could be changed by God or others

Clearing the record of those who have wronged me and allowing God to love them through me

Realizing that all I have belongs to God and using it for His purposes

Hebrews 11:1

Colossians 3:2

Ephesians 4:32

E

Proverbs 22:3

Galatians 6:9

S

I Thessalonians 5:16, 19

E

E

S

P

II Corinthians 9:6

S

GENTLENESS vs. Harshness

GRATEFULNESS vs. Unthankfulness

HOSPITALITY vs. Loneliness

HUMILITY vs. Pride

INITIATIVE vs. Unresponsiveness

JOYFULNESS vs. Self-Pity

JUSTICE vs. Corruption

Showing personal care and concern in meeting the needs of others

Making known to God and others in what ways they have benefited my life

Cheerfully sharing food, shelter, and spiritual refreshment with those God brings into my life

Recognizing and doing what needs to be done before I am asked to do it

Delighting in fellowship with the Lord regardless of my circumstances

Personal responsibility to uphold God’s unchanging laws

I Corinthians 4:7

Hebrews 13:2

Recognizing that without the help of God and others my achievements in life would not have been possible

Romans 12:21

Psalm 16:11

Micah 6:8

O

O

I Thessalonians 2:7

M

G

S

James 4:6

S

M

LOVE vs. Selfishness

LOYALTY vs. Unfaithfulness

MEEKNESS vs. Anger

OBEDIENCE vs. Willfulness

ORDERLINESS vs. Disorganization

PATIENCE vs. Restlessness

PERSUASIVENESS vs. Contentiousness

Giving to others’ basic needs without having as my motive personal reward

Using difficult times to demonstrate my commitment to God and to those He has called me to serve

Yielding my personal rights and expectations to God

Eagerly yielding to God’s Word rather than following my own will

Preparing myself and my surroundings so I will achieve the greatest efficiency

Guiding vital truths around another’s mental roadblocks

Psalm 62:5

II Corinthians 10:5

I Corinthians 14:40

Accepting a difficult situation from God without giving Him a deadline to remove it

I Corinthians 13:3

E

O

John 15:13

M

P

O

Romans 5:3–4

T

II Timothy 2:24

P

PUNCTUALITY vs. Tardiness

RESOURCEFULNESS vs. Wastefulness

RESPONSIBILITY vs. Unreliability

REVERENCE vs. Disrespect

SECURITY vs. Anxiety

SELF-CONTROL vs. Self-Indulgence

SENSITIVITY vs. Callousness

Showing high esteem for other people and their time

Wise use of that which others would normally overlook or discard

Knowing and doing what both God and others are expecting from me

Luke 16:10

Romans 14:12

Structuring my life around that which is eternal and cannot be destroyed or taken away

Instant obedience to the initial promptings of God’s Spirit

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Awareness of how God is working through the people and events in my life to produce the character of Christ in me

Exercising my senses so I can perceive the true spirit and emotions of those around me

Proverbs 23:17–18

John 6:27

G

G

O

T

T

Galatians 5:24–25

T

M

Romans 12:15

SINCERITY vs. Hypocrisy

THOROUGHNESS vs. Incompleteness

THRIFTINESS vs. Extravagance

TOLERANCE vs. Prejudice

TRUTHFULNESS vs. Deception

VIRTUE vs. Impurity

WISDOM vs. Natural Inclinations

Eagerness to do what is right, with transparent motives

Knowing what factors will diminish the effectiveness of my work or words if neglected

Not letting myself or others spend that which is not necessary

Acceptance of others as unique expressions of specific character qualities in varying degrees of maturity

Earning future trust by accurately reporting past facts

The moral excellence and purity of spirit that radiate from my life as I obey God’s Word

Seeing and responding to life’s situations from God’s frame of reference

G Philippians 2:2

P

I Peter 1:22

P

T P— Prophet

Proverbs 18:15

S— Server

Luke 16:11

G T—Teacher

E— Exhorter

Ephesians 4:25

P G— Giver

II Peter 1:3–5

O— Organizer

E

Proverbs 9:10

M— Mercy

Revealing the character of Christ through the stories in His Word.

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