October - December 2017
Grief Counseling Center
Grief Counseling Center HELPING PEOPLE LIVE WITH LOSS
By Amy Sloboda, MA, LPAT, CT Director, Grief Counseling Services
W h a t We Get To Ke e p
In anticipating the first holiday season without your loved one, it is natural to feel sad and anxious. Many things about the holidays can make the absence felt more acutely, one of which is the tradition of exchanging gifts. The absence of one close to you with whom you used to give or receive gifts can be very difficult. You may miss thinking of a great gift for them and may miss receiving a special gift in return. But honestly, most of us cannot remember material things we received from one year to the next. It’s the little things about our shared life with that person that we miss the most. These gifts are intangibles. They cannot be boxed and giftwrapped, displayed in your home or shown off to others. Often they are not easily described and it is hard to put them into words. But they are there just the same. Think about all of the “gifts” you have received from your person who died: a hug when you needed it most, a special friendship, a good, down-to-yourThese intangibles are gifts received toes laugh, knowing The in your heart—they are inside. And you are loved. gift could be important because they are inside, they are things you have protected and are a part of you. And learned about life unlike things on the outside, they just through knowing cannot be lost or taken away. them or something you discovered about yourself through taking care of them. Maybe you discovered that you have the ability to love another person in return fully and unconditionally. These intangibles are gifts received in your heart—they are inside. And because they are inside, they are protected and are a part of you. And unlike things on the outside, they cannot be lost or taken away. Sometimes, our relationship with the person who died was complicated. You might wonder if there are any gifts to find! The challenge of good grief work is to come out on the other side of the loss experience changed in a positive way. You may discover new things about yourself on this journey
through grief. The truth is, you are a survivor and you are evolving from this loss a different person than you were before. Be willing to explore and to receive this gift. We encourage you this holiday season, and beyond, to reflect on and claim the gifts you have received from knowing your person who died. You might want to share them with your family. In addition, whether or not you gather with family we encourage you to find simple, deliberate ways to acknowledge the absence of your person, reflect upon the special gifts you have received from this person, and to be thankful for their having been, and continuing to be, ever present in your lives.
Do you need help getting through the holidays? We offer programs and counseling services to help with grief support during the holidays. See information about available programs in this newsletter or visit our website at www.HosparusHealth.org/GriefCenter. You may also contact the Grief Counseling Center at 502-456-5451 or 888-345-8197.